Anonymous 2018/06/12 (Tue) 07:27 No. 23954 ▼ BREAKING NEWS: CLEAR SIGHTS IS A FATASS
HE'S OBSESSED WITH HUGE DUDES IN POWER ARMOR BECAUSE HE'S TOO MORBIDLY OBESE TO STAND WITHOUT ASSISTANCE
HE STOPPED UPDATING BECAUSE HIS FINGERS FINALLY GOT TOO FAT TO TYPE ON A FULL-SIZE KEYBOARD
HIS GIRLFRIEND LEFT HIM BECAUSE HIS PUNY PECKER NO LONGER REACHES PAST THE OCEAN OF FLAB
HIS FAMILY TRIED TO HELP HIM BUT THEY COULDN'T FIT HIM OUT THE DOOR
WHEN THEY GAVE UP HE FELL OVER AND TRIGGERED A MAGNITUDE SEVEN ON THE RICHTER SCALE
THE ENTIRE CITY FELL INTO THE RESULTING CRATER AND BURIED HIM ALIVE
HOPEFULLY STARVATION SHOULD TRIM HIM DOWN TO SIZE SOMETIME IN THE NEXT DECADE OR SO
IF NOT I HAVE AN EXCAVATOR, A CRANE, AN INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH TREADMILL AND A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF CARROT STICKS ON STANDBY
BECAUSE I AM IN RAGE WITHDRAWL AND IF I DON'T GET MY ALL-CAPS MARINE, MURDERFAIRY, MANN CO. OR SOMETHING SOON THEN BY THE EMPRAH I'M GOING TO WRITE IT MYSELF
AND THAT WOULD SUCK, BECAUSE AS YOU CAN SEE ABOVE I REALLY DON'T DO FUNNY ALL-CAPS RANTS ALL THAT WELL
OH WELL, I GUESS PEOPLE CAN COME AND POINT AND LAUGH AT THE DUMBASS WHO BROKE HIS PINKY BECAUSE HE'S TOO RETARDED TO USE CAPSLOCK
LAUGH, DAMN YOU
Anonymous 2018/06/12 (Tue) 09:41 No. 23958 ▼ >>23954 You could make it about Doyou's retarded squad mate or something. That way your self proclaimed unfunniness can actually be worked into the characters actions towards him as he slurs his slurs.