[Settings] [Home
[Show or hide post box]

 (Deletion Password)
 (New Thread)

Thread 41628 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 154614013222.jpg - (179.36KB, 700x840, buddhistballs.jpg) [iqdb]
41628
Thread 1: >>41094

----------------------------------------

[x] To spar.
 [x] Loser has to sleep at the opposite abode.

I strode back out, into the open. She wouldn’t get out of those habits on her own, so I decided to shake this up. Byakuren waited by the trees.

I turned and faced her, resting my left hand on my sword. Seiga didn’t help, but I still had one card up my sleeve. I threw my right hand out, shaku pointed at Byakuren. “We’re here to duel.”

She stepped out of the shade. “Excuse me?”

I shrugged my shoulders and let my right hand descend to my side. “We’re not reaching each other through conventional means. So, I’ve decided we need to speak in a more common language.”

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
226 posts and 33 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
[x] Senkai. My most proficient followers needed me first.

Not helping with any tie, but I think this is the best option. Attend to matters at home before making more trouble.
[X] Senkai. My most proficient followers needed me first.

I kinda don't want to brush off Nui's warning.
[X] The Village. I needed a broader understanding of my reputation.


Thread 42643 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 157980965355.png - (343.38KB, 578x390, bloom into tsu(kumogami).png) [iqdb]
42643
Rice and Rain >>/shorts/2209

Inspired by, or shamelessly stolen from. Take your pick. Mibya wrote that (>>/gensokyo/15535).

Thread 1 >>41060
89 posts and 13 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
[] she’d help Kogasa with that daikagura juggling stuff she was thinking about. It would be better than her scaring people, maybe.
fair is fair
[] she’d help Kogasa with that daikagura juggling stuff she was thinking about. It would be better than her scaring people, maybe.

She seemed excited to learn it, cleaning the shrine may be a bit self centered.
[x] she’d help Kogasa with that daikagura juggling stuff she was thinking about. It would be better than her scaring people, maybe.


Thread 42276 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 157266951083.jpg - (125.49KB, 850x1117, __kasodani_kyouko_touhou_drawn_by_homo_1121__sampl.jpg) [iqdb]
42276
“Hey. Say something. Please?” She appeared before him with the wind gently fluttering her billowing pink dress. She brushed aside a stray hair from her eyes, and the girl smiled, her emerald eyes smiling with her.

The man would, but there was one small problem in the way: He was, in the most literal sense, mute.

[ ] Hand motions are simple enough to explain.
[ ] Mouth the words. She should understand.
[ ] So he engaged in interpretive dance.
256 posts and 33 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
[x] He made no hasty judgments. Instead, he asked for details.
Just ask, you melvin.
[x] He apologized first to the girl.

Big OOF
[x] He apologized first to the girl.


Thread 41060 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 154043409481.jpg - (222.86KB, 860x1204, KogaRei.jpg) [iqdb]
41060
Rice and Rain >>/shorts/2209

Inspired by, or shamelessly stolen from. Take your pick. Mibya wrote that (>>/gensokyo/15535).
252 posts and 44 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
[x] Surely she was overthinking. She pressed on.

possibly a bit too late but w/e
>>42641
I hadn't gotten far before I ended up falling asleep, so I'll accept it.
File 157980979181.png - (381.73KB, 800x1132, blue skies.png) [iqdb]
42644
Thread 2 >>42643


Thread 40679 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 15085008455.png - (528.07KB, 1269x901, we seem to have lost a head.png) [iqdb]
40679
Thread 1: >>38346
Thread 2: >>38909

[x] Kokoro is learning about this sort of thing too, right? Maybe talking to her might help!

Before I can come up with an answer to that, Medicine surprises me. She slowly and awkwardly puts her arms around me and hugs me back.

...umm, what's that smell? It's kind of... sweet? And it's coming from Medicine's hair...

"You smell like flowers," I say.

"It's su-san's smell," Medicine mumbles.

"Er... aren't suzuraan poisonous?" I'm not going to get sick from hugging her am I?

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
245 posts and 45 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
File 154992159983.jpg - (1.76MB, 1141x1141, image.jpg) [iqdb]
41807
hope to see you again sometime
File 154992668880.jpg - (167.80KB, 854x960, it is dead doc.jpg) [iqdb]
41808
>>41806
I'll miss you. Thanks for the good work.
asdasd


Thread 41996 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 155485148885.png - (740.77KB, 817x1091, __mononobe_no_futo_touhou_drawn_by_furorina__6f2de.png) [iqdb]
41996
Wherein some resolutions are made.

Previous thread: >>41501
78 posts and 22 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>42124
Bumping because it deserves to be seen.

Most thoughts I could offer have already been conveyed elsewhere. All I'll say here is that I hope this gets going again because I enjoy reading it.
>>42124

If I was you facing the same writing impasse, I would have had Banki break up with Eggman, and then taken the story into a multi-perspective dating-sim/waifu war. Keeping Banki on the backburnrs in yandere stalker mode just to add some conflict and spice.
Hmm. Might as well amend that.

This Parade is now officially dispersed. If I had to pinpoint a culprit, it’d predictably be my person. I began writing this story without a real story to tell. The nebulous premise of “A man attempts to find out why his youkai drinking buddy suddenly refused to meet with him anymore” and the perspective switcheroo gimmick I’d counted on to carry it weren’t strong enough, losing even my own interest over time, and in my overconfidence, I failed to anticipate that. I fell, as it were, for the classic blunder.

Apologies to anyone who was still holding out hope. At the very least you and I got a Minamitsu scene out of the ordeal, which counts as a definite achievement in my book.


Thread 41501 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 15443694987.jpg - (899.71KB, 1344x1600, parade_logo.jpg) [iqdb]
41501
“Platonic love is love from the neck up.”
—Thyra Samter Winslow

247 posts and 45 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Is this the Coldsteel the Hedgehog crossover episode?
File 155459445358.jpg - (108.50KB, 1150x1500, Do6ZmcOU4AAKbu0_jpg orig.jpg) [iqdb]
41989


>>/at/39637


File 155485231067.png - (1.19MB, 1134x1154, 59124786_p0.png) [iqdb]
41999
Next thread: >>41996


Thread 41087 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 154110515734.jpg - (217.31KB, 800x1250, Lil cutie.jpg) [iqdb]
41087
“Despite how it looks, it’ll be easy to fix.” The young man takes a few steps back from the broken door. “Though I’ll recommend we get you a new one entirely.”

“I’m not sure we can afford it.” The teacher shakes her head. “Our budget is tight as it is, and we have to save up for winter too.”

“Forget about it.” He dismissively waves her concern away. “Regardless of what I do, I charge a standard service fee, which you’ve already agreed to pay.” Reaching into his vest, he pulls out a vial with a thick brown liquid in it. “If I take this broken door as compensation, I’ll be able to replace all other costs for making you a new door.”

“I know you run your business in an unusual way,” the teacher folds her arms, “but what exactly can you use a broken door for?”

The young artisan looks at her for a second, puzzled by her words. “Oh right, you’ve never actually seen me work.” Placing the vial on the table, he frees up his hands to cracks his knuckles. “How many years have you been my customer now, Keine? Doesn’t matter, you’re going to be in for a treat.”

Holding his hand over the vial, it starts to float. As he drags it through the air into the more open space, the cork sealing the liquid inside is popped off. Drawing his other hand away, a few drops of the brown liquid follows the motion out of the glass container.

With the vial now suspended in the air he claps his hands around the droplets. As he draws them apart again, hardwood fills the space.

Using careful movements, he guides the growth of the tree granting it the rough shape of a door. As a final touch, he flattens it before it solidifies.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
174 posts and 34 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>42244
Sorry for the lack of updates. Shortly after the last update, I got an exam, which was followed by an internship. Going to have another two exams lined up once I'm done with this internship. So I spent my time writing on Priest of Hakurei instead, to at least try and maintain a stable schedule.

As for advice. I'm always up for getting some advice, to help improve. SoL is my weakest topic, so I need as much help as I can get to write stories that will be engaging to read.
I feel like a big part of the appeal when it comes to slice of life is the characters. While plot and character goals are important as a driver for character interactions, when it comes down to it, it's more important to make those character dynamics and interactions enjoyable than it is to progress those goals. In regards to that, I feel like some of the more recent updates on the thread fell into a trap of treating characters as less "opportunities for characters to interact with one another" and more just "ways for the protagonist to complete his goal" - the story focused less on the characters themselves, instead placing focus on what they ultimately accomplished, largely breezing through the things they did to get there. I think the biggest issue you tend to struggle with is how you seem to jump from one encounter to the next, without covering any of the space in between or giving characters a chance to breathe and bounce off one another without any particular intent. You can get away with this style of storytelling more easily in a story like Priest of Hakurei, where the main appeal is the sense of action and the fight scenes, but imo Slice of Life generally aims to accomplish a much slower sense of pacing.

That said, I also feel like you're selling yourself short a bit! A number of updates (such as the drinking party starting at >>41324) do a decent job of just letting characters bounce off one another, giving the reader a better sense of them as people.

If you'd like an example of Slice-of-Life done well (imo at least), I'd point you towards A Fairy's Tale (starting at sdm/28203); it's the story that introduced me to THP in the first place, and while it definitely has quite a bit of plot, it also generally does a great job of building and developing its characters through simple interaction. The story has done an amazing job of sticking with me over the years, and (actual spoilers) still has me upset about Monica's roommates.

Sorry it took so long for me to reply, by the way. Life kinda happened
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>42264
To be fair, I was getting burned out on the last few updates of the contest, and they were far from the best I could have done. I'll concede that.

I understand that SoL is a more character driven type of narrative. I'll argue that there are only few successful stories that aren't character driven, because it's much harder to get readers invested in a world than characters. (Which kinda sucks, cause I would love to show off the Gensokyo I've been building these last few years, but rather than dumping all that info in exposition, it's better to only explain the small fragment that's currently needed to know. From there, it's just about staying consistent and slowly revealing information as it's needed. Might do a massive info dumb in a thread of it's own, if I get around to compiling it in a way where it looks like it's written by Akyuu.)

>That said, I also feel like you're selling yourself short a bit!
Right. See, while I think I can make interesting characters, I'm less confident in being able to use them to their full potential. A lot of details are hammered out either by applying the logic of my verse to them and seeing how they would thrive in the world, other details are hammered out by looking into details and asking as many questions as possible.
An example of this would be Keine and Mokou. In my verse, youkai are the natural predators of humanity, (summarized) meaning that there are very few youkai that have any good grace with the humans. Instead of just applying that fact to Keine, I tried applying it to her as a child and explored that idea, which lead to her being abandoned by the village, for one reason or another, and being taking in and raised by Mokou, giving the two of them a relationship I haven't seen in the fandom before. I pitched it to my proofer/editor and we fleshed it out in more detail. In my opinion, this little bit of backstory will add a lot to both their characters and their relationship, but I doubt I can make full
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.


Thread 41094 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 154111647815.png - (326.96KB, 900x750, MikoByaku.png) [iqdb]
41094
It’s embarrassing, but I woke late that morning. My head hurt, my perfected body whined at every move. I snuggled tight into my wife’s welcoming, curvaceous body to shield my poor, defenseless eyes from the burning sunlight. My legs entwined with her own full, healthy thighs and strong shins.

The legs she lost. Years ago. Centuries ago.

Still groggy, I groaned. Too tender to dare look, I listened.

She conveyed the same old fears of abandonment and isolation. Frustrations at trust betrayed. The same unwavering determination to see her ideals realized. That unflinching spirit that first drew me in. Then something else slipped through.

A sense of protectiveness. Not for her descendants or allies. For youkai. Not some youkai. All of them. Or most of them, at least. All underlaid with a broad distrust of humanity.

…And a wish to repent for severe misdeeds.

I groaned again, louder. She stirred, conveying similar physical discomforts and a distinct yearning for a good cup of sake. That one puzzled me.

Straining, I peeked one eye open.
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
251 posts and 38 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
[X] To spar.
-[X] Loser has to sleep at the opposite abode.
[X] To spar.
-[X] Loser has to sleep at the opposite abode.
Next Thread: >>41628


Thread 41478 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
 [Reply]
File 154392331335.png - (140.48KB, 536x800, red haired human.png) [iqdb]
41478
Don't expect this to be long!

A request courtesy of Mibya >>/gensokyo/15696

++++++++

Tok.

I bounce the ball in my hand, and a dirt-circle spreads from the hit, dust dancing kind of pretty.

Tok...

I’m surprised I can hear it. It’s loud out here.

Tmp—sh shh...
Message too long. Click here to view the full text.
18 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
[X] walk toward her, seeking to reconcile.
--- [X] Reassuring.
[x] walk toward her, seeking to reconcile.
--- [x] Reassuring.
File 154494912611.jpg - (44.86KB, 720x450, after the rain.jpg) [iqdb]
41570
[X] walk toward her, seeking to reconcile.
--- [X] Reassuring.

“—Hitomi,” I say, reaching toward her even when I’m so far out, “you... Listen, I...”

Nothing makes sense in my head. Hitomi doesn’t look at me, even when I’m close to her. I keep my hand raised, thinking about what I could do to make her feel comforted.

... Well—

“The world is bigger than this.”

Her ear perks up.

“Hitomi, don’t think that... some stupid, thoughtless brats make up the whole thing. Don’t think they even make up the whole Village. Listen... I may be a youkai, but I didn’t decide to stay with you because of how you look. I stayed with a human child because I found her... cute. As a person she was cute... and kind-hearted, and I just...”

Message too long. Click here to view the full text.


[Delete or report post]
Delete post []
Password  
Report post
Reason  
Previous[0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]


[Switch to Mobile Page]
Thread Watcher x