[X] Reassure Shion that she didn't mind spending on her

[X] Reassure Shion that she didn't mind spending on her.

Mmm Shion... Shion... Shion legs in tights...

Love the use of alliteration to "smooth" (for lack of a better word) out the reading experience for the first part to bring about the feeling of routineness and mundanity.

>>45260
[X] Reassure Shion that she didn't mind spending on her
Gotta get that girl in some tights, besides we really have to butter her up. Shion already has a weak personality and this will only make it easier to wrap her around our finger and steal her from Joon permanently.

[x] Make up some entirely different reason for why I got it.
-[x] "I want to hear about all the hopes you don't have. You'll probably never fill those eyes in."

I should probably clarify, since it might not be a common feature for the Daruma doll, but this one is weighted at the bottom. It is actually the type of toy >>45241 suggested.

That said I did not forget the symbolic purpose as described by >>45256 .

>>45258
That's kind of how daruma are designed anyway; they're usually weighted at the bottom to roll back upright if you push them over, which is even more symbolism at work.

Hard to decide how much I appreciate that when 1) I can't bring myself to believe that you support my hackery and 2) I know I could have done much better.

Regardless, thank you.

>>45249

You do realize that both of those are simply facts of life for writers, right? I've also had some pretty depressive moments in terms of confidence in my own writing, and I absolutely know that there are parts of USiL I could have written far better.

This really is just a fact of life - when you're writing a first draft without the ability to go back and edit, you're going to make choices you wish you could undo. I've never had a story where this didn't happen, and it's always frustrating - you just have to live with it and keep writing.

And for the record, outlines may or may not help depending on what kind of writer you are. It's worth a shot, but I know I personally can't stick to one to save my life.

Just remember that people are in fact reading what you're writing, and they care enough to comment that they hope you keep going. You're not a bad writer, Maxis, you just need to keep at it until you figure out what you're doing with your characters. If my own efforts are any indication, you'll eventually find a point where your depictions of Yukari/Reimu/etc. have solidified into something within the range of canon but just a little distinct, a touch of uniqueness that makes them your characters, and you'll find writing and planning a lot easier from there.

>>45250

I should elaborate on my reply: When I said "how much I appreciate," I meant somewhere between "quite a bit" and "a whole lot," and I definitely did not mean "not at all" or less.

Also, I'm not upset as in a-word-meaning-sad, I meant as in "I'm furious with myself for letting this happen." "This" meaning I let Reimu's ability and personality of floating infect the plot when it was just supposed to be in the narration. And when I tried to correct it, just like Reimu, I got suckerpunched by an unexpected danmaku/Yukari saying "I'm adopting you."

And don't worry, I don't think I'm a bad writer; in fact, I have the opposite problem where I KNOW I'm a GREAT writer, but I just make bad decisions (egomaniac)! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING; I'M JUST SCREWING IT UP!

And! It's hilarious. You'd have to meet me in person to truly, TRULY understand, but I really wish I could get across just how upset-but-actually unbothered I am. "Screw it, we ball," is the only way I can think to describe it, but it's not enough. That and my image. Come Hell or high water, I'm gonna write a Reimu and Yukari relationship I like a lot more than the inspiration! Also, I was gonna say something about Jerma, but I don't know how to word it exactly, so...! There!

>>45106
First, I'm never against write-ins. I just make a note when having them is most apropriate.

Second, apparently this never came up previously, but the heads' range is limited. If Makoto won't go too far, then Sekibanki could have her cake and eat it too, but if she will go somewhere outside Kimon, it will be a hard time following her. Sekibanki could extend her range, but it will make it hard to focus on anything but that long-range head.

In any case, I'll extend the voting time untill this week's Sunday, GMT.

>>45107
Thanks. It's good to know about the range. My previous vote still stands though. I don't think splitting up is a good idea.

[X]Follow Kokoro inside the bar and ask around. While she had the captain's good graces, it was a golden opportunity to get information.

{X} Ask Kogasa to keep watch outside. She did have two sets of eyes, after all.

Would be bad if one of us will disappear.

[x] No need to make her do something she’s not comfortable with. If I have to nix the idea then so be it.

[x] No need to make her do something she’s not comfortable with. If I have to nix the idea then so be it.

Honestly, being given the choice NOT to do it when Wakasagihime clearly isn't too comfortable to do so just makes it rather clear to not do it. Besides, we already kinda messed up with Kogasa and it's a lesson to take to heart.

A double update?! No, a new thread! It it time for us to leave behind the chapters of the rainbow warrior and the forgotten umbrella. Let us remember them as we go into the next chapter's journey with the mermaid.

>>44955