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You gently put a hand on her shoulder, she doesn't respond so you take that as a good sign. If she was truly mad she would have slapped your hand away. “Youmu,” you say in a soothing voice, hoping it doesn’t come off as condescending. “That totally doesn't count as your first kiss. Just forget about it, and kiss somebody that you genuinely care for. Then you'll see that this was meaningless, and your first kiss will be all the more special.” You just say what you’re thinking and hope that she understands.

Her expression changes from anger to surprise, then to confusion, and settling with embarrassment. “W-what are you saying? It totally counts!”

“Did you enjoy it?” You ask with a small frown. She shakes her head. “Then it doesn’t count. It only counts if you enjoy it.” Koishi looks about to say something but you stop her. “Please don’t say anything.” She quickly closes her mouth and even covers it with her hands. Youmu just looks at you awkwardly. “So, uh,” you aren’t quite sure what to say now. “How about we, uh, watch the match?”

“O-okay,” she says turning to the action. You look at the combatants to see that the action is in full swing.

“Wait, when did they start? I can’t hear anything!”

Koishi giggles loudly. “You don’t know much about spell card duels do you?”

“What do you mean?” You ask as she plops down on your lap once more. You think you see Youmu glaring at her.

“So we don’t harm anyone if a duel, we put up a barrier that blocks all danmaku and sound. We don’t want to burst anyone’s eardrums with all the noise we make. We can’t hear anyone else while we’re in the field either, so people can’t distract us by saying something silly.” Koishi is watching the match with a whimsical look on her face. She doesn’t seem to care about the fight, but enjoys being here anyway.

From what you can see through t

No, the main character is not a trap, nor does he look like a lady.


The sun was shining brightly, with just a smattering of clouds overhead to make it seem like a perfect day. Despite this, the temperature made it intolerably hot for most people, so the well-travelled road was practically empty on that sweltering day.

Yet perhaps in defiance to the blazing heat, a solitary man walked down this road. He wore simple blue jeans and a long-sleeved blue shirt over his lithe form, with basic tennis shoes covering his feet. His brown hair was bogged down with sweat, yet his brown eyes still shone with energy. In his right hand was a long and rather plain black staff, which he used as a walking stick for his journey.

It was not known how long he had been walking, not even to him, yet to him his purpose was very clear. He had set out in search of the mythical land of Gensokyo as a means of escape.
It was not that he was running from any particular person or group, but rather it was his life he was seeking an exit to. It’s not that he hated it, it was just getting stale.

Or so he would say.

Nonetheless, his journey was almost at an end.
He had reached Gensokyo, yet he would rather not try to live out in the wilds. He would much prefer a simpler life in the village he heard of from the Hakurei shrine maiden, which supposedly was at the end of this road. With this information, he set out as soon as he could, making steady progress with no breaks for himself since the sun had risen earlier that day.

Eventually the village he sought out had appeared on the horizon, marking the end of his search for a new home. Within minutes he had come up to the village gate, walking in front of one of the guards stationed there. The guard was about the same height as him, perhaps slightly shorter, but the weapon he held made him more intimidating out of principle.

Despite this, the man showed no trepidation in his approach, looking the guard straight in the eye the entire time. The guard’s gaze swept over the man’s body, taking in his style of dress and overall appearance.

“An outsider I presume?” the guard asked. The man nodded in response.

 “All love stories are tales of beginnings. When we talk about falling in love, we go to the beginning, to pinpoint the moment of freefall.”

—Meghan O'Rourke

Momiji was eying that chocolate earlier and you could go for some right now so you quickly head back to grab it from the shelf and bring it up to the register. Momiji just watches you with a puzzled look. “Hey there Rinnosuke!”

“Hi Aaron, where’s Yukari? I don’t see her anywhere.” His golden eyes dart around the room like he’s looking for a thief.

“She’s not here,” you say simply.

“That’s strange, normally she’s the one who brings you here. Did something happen?” He actually sounds worried.

You shake your head. “Nothing to worry about, I just moved out that’s all.”

He looks at you with an expression of disbelief. “You moved out? How did she take it? What are you doing for money?”

“She actually gave me money to buy a house, but I used it to buy a bar instead. She didn’t take that very well, but once I prove that I can do it I’m sure she’ll be proud.” Well, you hope she’ll be proud.

“Ha, well good luck with that. I’ll stop by if I get the chance, so just let me know if you need anything. Oh, and the chocolates are on the house. Consider it a gift for finally moving out of her house.” You wonder how he stays in business when he either give everything away or keeps it for himself. Oh well, he obviously enjoys his job so you can’t criticize him.

“Thanks, I’ll come by again sometime!” You wave goodbye as you walk towards the door where Momiji waits. “Ready?”

She nods. “Yeah, but why did you buy that?” She points the bag of chocolates in your hand.

“I thought it’d be nice for everyone to share back at the bar. This way you can have some chocolate without worrying about eating too much. Plus I wanted some when I saw it, so it works out.” You start to feel slightly awkward as you say this.

“Thanks! But are you sure it’s a good idea to give fairies chocolate? Their hyper enough as is.” She seems nervous about giving fairies chocolate, but you figure it’ll be fine as long as they don’t have too much. “Well, anyway, do you want to walk or fly?”

You don’t even have to think about it. “We’ll w

A flash of light outside a plain paned window and a thunderous crash broke the monotony of the rain that had continued for the better half of the evening, the raindrops also guilty of lulling a man swaddled in linen and quilts to sleep atop his desk chair. Yet this natural alarm that cracked the sky in two with a brilliant glow did stir the man from his slumber so slightly that a hand might reach out and grasp at layers of paper that accumulated over the hours upon the desk surface. This hand was time-worn and lined with the proof of the years that had passed, but not by many winters at the barrow or tending to the shop. This hand knew the touch of a dusty tome and entire weeks devoted to turning tens of hundreds of pages, it knew the brushings of a quill pen against the fibrous parchment, the muscles beneath the worn hand knew the movements to a few but practiced incantations, from lighting a candle with a touch of heat, or charming the librarian with a spark and cheery sound. The hand also belonged to a person, who's form stirred again underneath the pile of comfort and warmth it had allotted itself this stormy night.

But yet this person did not display any more than a stir, it's heart ticked slowly in the chest, the clockwork blood engine worn after years confined to a study and a paper strewn desk. This heart could not continue to fuel the hand it had owned on it's grasp for air and allotted it to fall on the desk once more. The man's lungs protested, expanding and contracting below the heart, dragging air through the old cracked lips it had serviced for so many long nights, mouthing unsuccessfully the difficult spells and syllables that the person so wished it could. If only he had more time, if only he didn't lay dying this very moment. If only the old heart could beat for just one more night, he would become a true magician, if those old legs would carry him to his chair another time, he could finally spout flame from his fingers with no more difficulty than breathing air. If those mentioned lungs would service him just for yet a few hours, this old man could invigorate his body with but a gesture and a slash of ink on paper. If only this man, this quivering pile of ski

Okay, so I've been writing here for a little while but I'm going to use another name at the moment until I'm sure I can balance two stories. The story is about a entrepreneur who chooses to open a bar on the outskirts of the human village. The story will for the most part be a comedy with some romance. I'm also not going to use a proofreader, at least not in the beginning because I'm working on seeing my own errors and fixing them myself. That said, if you notice any grammatical errors do point them out, I won't know what to fix if you don't. So with out further ado, I present to you Wild Afternoons, Strong Tastes, and Extreme Drunkenness (Abbreviated WASTED)!
-----
It has been over one hundred years since Gensokyo has been dimensionally dislocated from the planet Earth. While travel between the two is possible it isn’t very common as the technological differences can cause problems, even if the kappa do their best to help “modernize” Gensokyo.

The Gap Youkai, Yukari, has been bringing people from the outside in since the beginning. She does this partially because it amuses her, but mostly because an outsider will stir up excitement for the residents of Gensokyo and keep people entertained and content with how things are. Her targets are usually those with an open mind or those that would benefit from living here, like you.

You were brought to Gensokyo at the age of ten and have lived here for eight years now. In that time you’ve made a lot of friends and connections, none more important to you than Yukari. She rescued you from a forest fire you inadvertently started and raised you for the next eight years and you even took to calling her “mom”, you think she liked that. On your eighteenth birthday she gave you enough money to buy a house in the human village.

The look on her face when you used the money to buy an old rundown bar on the edge of the village was priceless. You had to explain to her that you already had a plan to have it fixed up and that the left over money would go to building an additional room for you to sleep in. She has every right to be skeptical, but you plan on pr

Well, this would have been accompanied by a pic of Kurumi since she's the only other person near Wade, but for some inexplicable reason there's no pics of said vampiress on Danbooru at all. There's two pages out of a doujin where she's tagged, but come on.

Instead, you get a Seiga. Yes, just like in the first thread of the first run, it is foreshadowing. This time, however, it is in fact quite relevant.

Anywho, as far as the fragments go, it does seem like the voters go for the more exotic weapons rather than the conventional ones. A simple longsword could work, but since Wade currently exists as a bunch of metaphysical manifestations, it's more fun to just think up and use the most powerful weapon you can.

---

A lot of weapons come to mind, all in different shapes, forms, powers, and functions. I briefly entertain the idea of using the Gates of Babylon, but I don't really have the sheer arsenal required to pull it off worth a damn. On the flip side, it is an idea for later, so I decide to store it in the back of my mind in the event that I have a lot of weapons and no time to use any one in particular.

It takes a couple seconds more, but I do eventually settle on one weapon in particular: Gae Bolg. Kurumi's still trying to tank the various stones being flung her way, but I'm pretty sure I have enough time to manifest this particular weapon before her shield fails completely. Closing my eyes, I focus on the same feeling I felt back when I acquired the cap for the first time. The familiar wall of desires overlays itself over the black, and a few of the smaller desires move to my open hand. I clench down on them, feeling a smooth bone shaft form in my hand, changing its size and weight according to what would be ideal for someone my size to wield, be it for melee or simple throwing. I'm not sure how well this is going to work, but eh. I'm not going to be picky about something that's going to keep me as I am.

I open my eyes so I can take a good look at the instrumen

[X] Cockslap!

If 'ridiculous' had a definition, this situation would be an epitome, a prime example of completely incomprehensible circumstances, to top it off, brought completely against one's will. It would be fine, it would be nice, bah - good, even - if it weren't an effect of something you didn't want to do... Or at least didn't want to do it for real. It would be good if it weren't for that confused expression of hers, and the fact that... She's covered... in your own...
Insane as it may appear, there's no denying it - seeing that cute, petite body stained with your own seed is an incredibly arousing sight. So incredibly arousing it pumps crazy amounts of addinationa; blood into your already swollen throbbing member. Swollen. Yeah, that's a good word. Swollen usually describes something larger than usual and aching, right? Therefore it would be right to call it swollen, right? Wait, does that even matter?
"No!"
Hell, the sheer lack of importance makes you scream out loud. It's stupid! Idiotic! How could you allow yourself to get aroused - AGAIN - in face of such a pathetic sight? Because it IS pathetic. That girl's confusion is an effect of your indecent, dirty, perverted, reprehensible, dishonourable actions! Even if it wasn't exactly according to your will, still, the fact stands. It stands. Both of them stand. The fact and your junior. The question is...

Maybe she... Doesn't mind...?

Or are you just thinking with your lower brain here? Is that plaintive hope only a delusion of a testosterone-driven mind? Or is that face actually... sort of happy? She did want to see you after all, didn't she? If so, it's only logical to assume she has some feelings for you, right? Therefore... It should be okay to...
Wait, what is she doing? No, wait, what are you doing, Emily?! Why is that little hand of yours reaching towards...?!
"No!"
Again, you scream, unsure of your own thoughts, but fully aware of the fact that if she touches you, it's going to get even worse, and frantically try to jump away... Well, in vain, since the store room is too cramped for such hast

[X] There’s nothing for you here at the store. Head off to the Human Village and search for kappa at the marketplace.

---

Well, it seems like a good idea to start looking for the elusive kappa in the market.

You duly make your shift report to Rinnosuke, who simply nods an acknowledgement in kind.

---

Coming up the gates, you see two familiar faces chatting away. As soon as he sees you, the wiry Jiro waves you in without much fuss, whilst his bigger comrade gives you a friendly hail.

“Y’know, I was kinda expecting the miko today,” Jiro smirks, “Guess she’s got no more business with us normal folk, huh big guy?”

“It’s like you’re trying to pick a fight Jiro,” the larger man frowns.

As you pass the gate, you pause for a moment, trying to catch some of their chatter.

“Eh, the fighting, it keeps em on their toes. I mean, what else is there ta do aroun’ here any who?”

Having then noticed you, Jiro turns right the way around, rapping at the gate, “Hey hey hey. Nothing ta see here youk, move it.”

---

In any case, you promptly make your way to the market square. Today it seems a slight bit more empty than usual, lacking the usual aroma of street food and some of the more aggressive sales pitches it would on a normal day. And perhaps with good reason; it seems as though the kappa are indeed in town.

Their stall is definitely unmistakable; a hybrid stand/showroom mish-mash is erected in all of its ramshackle glory right in the middle of the square, a rather conspicuous distance between them and the other stalls and stands. It seems as though the owners of the stands, save for one familiar rabbit-girl, have all elected to position a few sandbags across their more vulnerable sides and a few watchmen are standing by in the corner by an umbrella, pails of water at the ready and more than a few bets on when the place is going to be lit up going around.

You make your way over to Reisen, who still seems bored out of her mind at the monotony of being a shopkeep.

“Afternoon Reisen,” you greet, glancing between her and the kappa’s stand, “They take the kappa r

[X] Go to the kitchen, might as well see what Suwako's up to.

====================

Well, now that the party had ended, it is time to work in a different manner. Hasn't the goddess of Moriya asked you to join her in the kitchen for discussion? You think you should at least hear what she has to say, and so make your way towards the cooking area. On your way you passed by an open-air corridor of sort, and in an instant you are captivated by the beauty of this moonlit place. Subconsciously slowing down your pace, you keep your eyes fixated upon the brilliant heaven, listening to the soft rattling of leaves as they sway peacefully to the soothing wind. Stars twinkle occasionally, and you couldn't help but smile at the serene scenery.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" A soft voice speaks to you from behind, and to your surprise you find the shrine maiden of Hakurei standing behind you, holding two steaming cups of tea, a ceramic teapot, and a small bowl of snacks on a wooden serving dish. She chuckles at your expression, and holds out the dish towards you. "Tea? Suwako helped me with them, told me to smack you into the kitchen right after you finished." She said with a grin, lightly swinging her ritual stick of sort in a mock attempt to hit your behind. Returning her friendly offer with a nod of thanks, you take a cup and take a sip of the burning hot liquid, the heated sensation channelling down your throat and spread across your body. You feel quite relaxed as a result.

Reimu plops down cheerfully on the wooden floor as you enjoy your tea, gesturing for you to do the same with the wave of a hand. "Of course, it'd be a pain to fix all the walls if I do what she says, so don't worry about it." She pops a round ball of white into her mouth, face lightening up with a look of euphoria. "Take you time and enjoy the tea, I'm sure she can wait patiently in someone else's shrine."

"Perhaps, though I didn't expect to meet you here, comrade."

"Eh, I woke for some reason, and once I'm up the hangover wouldn't let me get back to sleep." She shrugs, taking a sip.