!YWlxAxB3HE 2013/03/13 (Wed) 09:08
No. 35387
▼
File 136316568083.jpg - (234.66KB,
1280x960, You Shouldn't Believe In Such Superstitions.jpg)
You gently lever Chen’s arms off of your torso. It’s not that you don’t like letting the kitten hold you in a tackle grip, but you’d really rather be sitting up than lying down. Being a bird by nature, you generally associate being on your back with being dead, or soon to be killed…
Well, okay, maybe it is that you don’t like being pinned on your back by a carnivore.
“So,” you say, “I’ve been gone for a long time, now, and I’m not exactly up to speed on what’s been happening in Gensokyo. Care to tell me a story or two?”
“Maaaaaaaybe.” Chen doesn’t so much lift herself off of you as pop up, springing into a sitting position with surprising grace. “But I think I want to hear about what you were doing first.”
A vicious smirk creeps across your face. “I bet someone just doesn’t want to admit how much time she spent napping.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, you know - ” and by now, your lips have stretched as far out and up as the can possibly go – “I just figured, since you’ve got all those nice south-facing windows, and your master is extra fluffy, and your master’s master is a genuine expert on all matters sleep related… maybe you decided to spend more time curled up in warm places.”
Just as you try to sit up, Chen pushes you back down, one tiny finger exerting irresistible force on your forehead. “That is a baseless and hurtful stereotype, Shin, and you know it. When have I ever been a kotatsu addict?”
“That’s a completely unfair question. We both know there were no such things as kotatsu when I was here last.”
“Darn right. You have no way of knowing if I’m a kotatsu fan or not-”
“Except,” you interrupt with a triumphant smirk, “that you’re being exceptionally specific about how I don’t know whether or not you like them. Very, very specific, indeed.”
The finger leaves your forehead, and your fine feline friend feigns a furious frown. “You win. Meanie.”
“Aww, you know me. I just can’t resist messing with you. So, anyways…”
And as you sit up, you stretch your arms out wide. They shimmer, and for a brief instant, seem to split –four black gloves, four white sleeves, four patterns of black markings running along the inner seams – before your wings spring back into existence, their great span no longer hidden behind a veil of thinly constructed nonexistence.
“…Since it would be rude of me to exploit my stunning victory in argument any further, why don’t I start?”
==========
”You want to call me what.”
“ ‘Tis a noble name, for such a noble spirit,” the graying man replies. “The raven is a somber an’ respectable bird which-”
“-Has no traits that matter to me.” There are some things that are too important to wait to say. “Because where I come from, the word is the same as the word for crows. Loud, pushy, obnoxious sky rats that I wouldn’t trust any further than I could fling them with a punch. Ever try to punch a bird in flight?”
“The distinction may not be made in your lands,” the old priest replies, “but it is made in ours. And when, pray tell, have ye ever heard a citizen o’ this town speak aught but ill of the albatross?”
The old man has a point.
“Byrne it is, then.” The words are half speech, and half a groan.
==========
“…And over time, I got used to it. Frankly, I’m not that hung up about the meaning any more, either – folks here are about as unlikely to know what it means as they are to know about the difference between a raven and a crow.”
Chen shakes her head. “Changing names is just weird, though. I mean… Byrne. It doesn’t exactly roll of the tongue.”
“There were extenuating circumstances, like I said. And stop trying to make me forget it’s your turn.”
“Aww, you found me out. So, not long after you left, that old, old darkness youkai started getting really tired of having phenomenal cosmic powers…”
…………
………
……
…
“-nd right when the fangy bastard has me on the ropes, he starts monologuing! MONOLOGUING! About how he’s going to cover the world in darkness and blah blah blah, and that kept him busy long enough for the Doc to open the curtains. So he catches on fire, and we all start laughing, and that poor old American lying in the corner with the shattered spine? He sucks in a biiiiig breath of air, and he starts belting out his national anthem, but with different words! ‘Oh say can you see, by the dawn’s early light, how that vampire just failed, basic villainy classes, th-”
…………
………
……
…
“-But then Wriggle – and remember, this was when she was just tiny – sneaks up and starts trying to nibble on the Outsider’s ankle, and he just shrieks and drops the spell entirely. So the Hakurei and I beat him up and tossed him back out of the Border. I miss her, y’know. Four more Hakurei maidens since then, and there hasn’t been a one who was that fun. Your turn.”
“Okay. So, about a hundred years ago, I’m mucking about in Russia, and there’s this town where guys start turning up drowned. Now, this is in the western end, a long way from Japan, so I know it’s not just a particularly grouchy kappa…”
…………
………
……
…
“-So now Mysty has a band, but they’re terrible. They call it ‘punk rock’ or something, but it’s just repetitive notes and lots of shouting. It’s a good thing she still has her lamprey stand to fall back on.”
“I’d hate to hear what you think of thrash metal, then.”
“Say what now? Anyways, your turn.”
You throw your hands up in a huge, exaggerated shrug. “I’m out, sorry.”
“Good timing. I just reached the one about this horrid little bird coming back to Gensokyo after two centuries and counting, during which he never once bothered to write.”
“Why, you little - wait a second.” That wasn’t Chen’s voice just now.
“And then he expends a perfectly good piece of solidified magic for no reason, wakes me up at ten-thirty in the morning, destroys my seventy-hour, extra-restful napping streak, and starts trying to impress my shikigami’s shikigami instead of making it up to me.”
Oh. OH.
Oh, hell, you can already hear the nagging.
“Chen, dear. Could you go make sure Ran is preparing a meal?”
This is going to end poorly.
“Now. Shinten.” Yukari’s tone loads your name with a message, specifically you little shit, how DARE you use a name besides the one your mother gave you?
“Yes?”
“Why, exactly, did you feel the need to wake me up so early, and then ignore me for that whole winding storytime of yours?”
Oh, hell no. You are NOT going to let this stand.
“Early. Early, you say.” You smack your palm into your forehead theatrically, an action that says don’t YOU talk down to me. “I’m not sure how much attention you pay to anyone or anything outside of your own house these days, but even those late-waking slacker Outsider humans would have been at work for an hour and a half by now. It’s almost lunch time, for the Dragon’s sake!”
“My, my. Have you been among humans so long that you’ve forgotten what it is to be a creature of the night?”
“In case you’ve forgotten, they call me Byrne the Fixer out there. ‘Creatures of the night’ are a category of people whose teeth I kick in. Professionally. And the best time of the day for that happens to be-”
“Are you threatening me, little chicklet?”
“No, but I might, if it has a chance of getting you to wake up in the mornings again instead of sleeping three days in a row! Mother would be ashamed of you, sleeping that long outside of winter!”
“Are you lecturing me, you little zygote?”
“Yes. Do you have an issue with that-” and mockery creeps into your tone – “my dear young maiden?”
You can almost see little wisps of steam escaping her ears at that one. Her rage is delicious. This is so easy!
“Three cards, no bombing,” she announces. “When I win, you get your arrogant little ass out of my house.”
If you remember right, those sound like terms to those silly ‘spell card duels’ that Chen mentioned as being the new method of conflict resolution in Gensokyo. Knowing Yukari, she probably didn’t even bother designing any decent attack patterns, and you have the right to use a simple aimed stream instead of having to improvise a pattern on the spot. Even tamping things down to the level of that old non-lethal practice magic you started with, you’re quite confident in the power you earned from your two hundred years of fighting against those nasty creatures that Westerners loved to fear so much.
Taunting her was totally the right thing to-
Bounded Field [Edge of Past and Future]
-This was NOT the right thing to do! Why can’t you block or dodge any of these fucking bullets? Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIIIIII-
*pichuun*
“And STAY out, ingrate!”
Before you can even push the sheer mind-melting [i]pain of several dozen simultaneous impacts, you’re falling, falling, falling like a rock. It’s a good thing you had already brought your wings back out, or you wouldn’t have the slightest hope of righting yourself in time.
As it is, you manage to get yourself to a speed that isn’t a threat to life and limb, but still sends a shockwave running up your aching legs as you land. Fortunately, your landing doesn’t seem to have injured anyone nearby.
Unfortunately, there is, in fact, someone nearby, and she’s gaping at you. Some kind of… green-haired… puppy?
Wow, it has been too long since you saw any of the lesser-known youkai.
[] “Who are you?”
[] “Where is this?”
[] “Hello?”
[] “HELLLOOOOO?”