Guess I must do this then I thought reluctantly and with the elegance of a pelican. I quickly stand up from my seat, smash my knee against the table, keep the curse in and quickly hobble my way towards him. Stopping right in front of him while leaning against a wall as…’seductively’ as possible? I had no idea what I was doing okay but I frankly remember saying something along the lines “Hey handsome~” as greeting, confident in my superio-okay I just fucked up the first impression, that’s it.

The guy let out a rude “hmph” as if I were nothing more than garbage as he took a glance behind me to seek the more succulent prey, prey that had moved to the storage room to clean some stuff up quickly I assume for she wasn’t at the cashier. He moved to the left only for a table to become my new leaning spot and then to the right only for the wall to help once again support my body, how clumsy of me. Seeing my demeanour, the vampire seemed confused for a moment. Only to realize upon seeing my blushing face (I was holding in air) and rhythmically swinging booty (I have no excuse for this) that I was indeed trying to flirt with him. It was an embarrassing experience that made me want to die if it wasn’t for the fact that nobody but the cameras on display saw me acting this quirky at 11 pm. It was just me and the vampire, so I committed the final deed and showed my neck. It’s veiny and flushed appearance was enough to catch his attention in a more solid way as he stopped trying to move past me and instead came closer. Trying to look me into the eyes as I instead stared at his nose, trying to not become mesmerized once more and desperately praying in my head.

He must have thought that I’d gotten nervous the moment he returned my interest. For he smiled as he put a hand on my hips. “You have one hell of a body,” opening it all with a compliment to establish a positive tone, “The booty’s especially bountiful if not…a tad fatty” only to insult me over something he thinks I’m sensitive about, trying to make me more insecure and easier to manipulate in the process. “But I love them that way” ending it all with a pseudo-compliment, making i

I'm away for like what? 3 or 4 days or so and once again someone uses that absence as an excuse to pretend to be me? I'm frankly dissapointed in all of you.

But fine, if you're going to be like that then expect my next posts to be in /Others with an actual tripcode.

Because clearly you cannot behave yourselves.

Shameful, to think that two people are impersonating me at once.
So anyway, I was hungry during all this so I ordered a pizza. Then I opened the pizza and then Kana or whatever her name is comes out and hits me with a go sign.
Ridiculous occurrence I know, I hardly believed go signs were real either, but here we are.
So anyway, Jeri hits me with the go sign, and of course I die as I am a pathetic squishy op and she is a ghost or something. THIS IS UNPLEASANT. So I order another pizza because stress eating makes me feel better and then she pops out of this one too, and I'm getting sick of it now so I says to her: "What the fuck janet, can a man not even have a fucking goddamn pizza anymore you spiteful sceptic cunt?!" And then she has the gall to act like she's the aggrieved party and then SHE hits ME again with the stop sign.
So of course I'm done with this shit, this is domestic abuse, so I call the cops and I tells em "I've had it up to FUCKING HERE this fat cow Margret keeps FUCKING HITTING ME!" and then they ask if anyone is there and hang up, cause I'm a ghost now see? She already killed my ass in line 2 of this post.
But anyway, that's getting me over there so I try and grab some salt from the kitchen, gonna show this weevil motherfucker how she likes being "Marcille Flambe in HELL" when I purify her ass, but cause I've only been a ghost for half an hour at this point and I ain't got no practice, hand goes right through the mill, fist closes around the salt, searing burns all around the inside of my hand and I had to type this entirely with my left one.
Whaddami gunna do about this?

>>25299
>3-thousand-yen
That’s like 30 USD on a good day.

>>25173

You do a victory roll, your soft and harmless body goes upside down as your movement and movement make you roll closer to the meat-bun. It is SO CLOSE, even in bite range!

>>25174

Determined by the proximity and wanting to surpass all of your limits, you do the unthinkable. You roll again! No-one has ever rolled twice in their life as far as you know!

This makes you the roll master, you're not even dizzy and you're still rolling!

>>25176

BUT THAT"S ENOUGH!

Mid-roll and in the peak of your acceleration, you lunge for the meatball!

You lunge for the meatbal!

Uh, weird. You're trying to jump for it but somehow you're frozen in the air.

Probably because someone's holding you by one leg.

Oh wait, that someone's a lady, a pretty blue haired lady. She looks really nice.

"Who left a perfectly defenceless and unattended baby in these premises?" She talks out loud for some reason "Oh, what a crime it is to abandon such a poor thing. Not only that but you were about to fall into a trap weren't you? Don't worry little baby, I'm going to put you in the fun bag and take you back to your parents okay?"

What do you do now? The meat's so close yet the lady's holding you!

[x] Bite the blue lady. Her bag smells funny and she’s not letting you eat.

[x] its time, your entire life has been leading up to this moment when you would say your first word...
- [x] Call her a hag.

No, her real power is cutting edge technology in heart-rending banter.

Her real power is not friendship. ( she doesn't have any.)

Her real power is this gun she found.

>>25132
That isn't a frog.

Kosuzu?

>>25112
Motoori Jordan

...I have seen perfection.

Same Anon, awesome that it's still alive and let's hope it stays that way too the next year.

Only way is up after all

The years may change but time feels much the same. All the same, happy New Year and hope that everyone is well.

>>25086
Extra homo.
Didn't ZUN canonize zero homo though?

She's the Jimmy Neutron of 2hu, except medicine wise.

>>25078
I wish to blast all over this brain

>>25078
Just because she's a nerd doesn't mean she can't kick your ass.

Holy shit, the plot is thickening.

>>25072
Gruel is thicker than water, but it's still pretty thin, anon.

>>25075
Wow, brutal. All he wanted was to milk something for drama and gossi-
Actually, beat his ass.

It’s Suika Ibuki’s theme: Broken moon
Here, so you can hear the similarity
https://youtu.be/jXIy17nhPUU

Thanks. I'm gonna have oni on the mind for a good while, now.

Is this the music thread? I've had https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfTW-_UhWI8&t=14 from Jerico's Law on my mind recently.