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File 165263591395.jpg - (760.43KB, 900x1440, Shikieiki.jpg)
Shikieiki
REPENT, SINNER!

Have you sinned lately? Done something wrong that you feel bad about? Want to make up for it, put it behind you once and for all, and rid yourself of that nagging sense of guilt?

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!

Here's how it works:

Confess: Tell us what you did wrong. Don't make excuses or try to rationalize it away - just own up to your mistake, honestly and unconditionally. It doesn't have to be some huge bombshell, like you once shot a man Underground just to watch him die. But the fact is, we all make mistakes. Whatever you did or whoever you wronged, let it out. Shikieiki is here to help.

Do your penance: By posting your sin in this thread, you agree to receive and faithfully perform your penance in a timely fashion. Don't worry - it won't be anything degrading or humiliating. In fact, it will be something fun for you, and entertaining for the rest of us. All that is asked is that you do your penance quickly, and don't chicken out. Besides, you wouldn't confess your sin unless you were willing to atone for it, would you?

Receive absolution: If you have successfully completed your penance, Shikieiki will officially absolve you of your sin. From that moment forward, you can then release yourself of your guilt and shame, and move forward into a bright future.

So then, you filthy sinner, tell the Yama of Paradise of your sins, and begin your path to salvation!
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>>25331
Anyone who claims they haven't done this at least once is lying.
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I considered fucking a dog.
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File 165545245590.jpg - (258.90KB, 2115x1678, bad youmu.jpg)
bad youmu
>>25325
This poster is Youmu.

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File 164647907332.png - (779.44KB, 895x600, E95vmzBWEAcWXTg.png)
E95vmzBWEAcWXTg
Welcome, may I take your order?
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File 164673515961.png - (166.52KB, 424x600, __cirno_touhou_drawn_by_okumari__d72e6b519a5ea7fad.png)
__cirno_touhou_drawn_by_okumari__d72e6b519a5ea7fad
Do you have ice-cream?
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>>25250
Sorry, it's broken.
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File 165422526448.jpg - (3.47MB, 2000x2000, 1653068895340.jpg)
1653068895340
MAKE ME A FUCKING CHICKEN SANDWICH NOW YOU -

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File 165342705212.jpg - (54.00KB, 575x431, #Rumiaisover.jpg)
#Rumiaisover
Rumia from Touhou has committed several acts of racism and rampant violence as shown in recent stories.

This behaviour is unacceptable I have expected so much more from this fictional youkai.

She must be stopped #Rumiaisoverparty.

I hate this fucking grue please
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le funni twatter outrage circlejerk maymay xd

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File 164590314020.jpg - (418.17KB, 768x768, __kana_anaberal_touhou_drawn_by_heripantomorrow__9.jpg)
__kana_anaberal_touhou_drawn_by_heripantomorrow__9
Kanna is Best Ghost is a labor of love, but ultimately fear, dedicated to Kana Anaberal. Fear, because I have been threatened by the Ghost of Anaberal to complete it or face “The howling Madness”, which is threatened on me every time I ignore the poltergeist and consider seeing a psychoanalyst instead. If you are aware, or personally know someone who is aware of a reputable exorcist or low rate psychologist, please refer to the “Comment” section.
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__kana_anaberal_touhou_and_1_more_drawn_by_sea_sco
Guess I must do this then I thought reluctantly and with the elegance of a pelican. I quickly stand up from my seat, smash my knee against the table, keep the curse in and quickly hobble my way towards him. Stopping right in front of him while leaning against a wall as…’seductively’ as possible? I had no idea what I was doing okay but I frankly remember saying something along the lines “Hey handsome~” as greeting, confident in my superio-okay I just fucked up the first impression, that’s it.

The guy let out a rude “hmph” as if I were nothing more than garbage as he took a glance behind me to seek the more succulent prey, prey that had moved to the storage room to clean some stuff up quickly I assume for she wasn’t at the cashier. He moved to the left only for a table to become my new leaning spot and then to the right only for the wall to help once again support my body, how clumsy of me. Seeing my demeanour, the vampire seemed confused for a moment. Only to realize upon seeing my blushing face (I was holding in air) and rhythmically swinging booty (I have no excuse for this) that I was indeed trying to flirt with him. It was an embarrassing experience that made me want to die if it wasn’t for the fact that nobody but the cameras on display saw me acting this quirky at 11 pm. It was just me and the vampire, so I committed the final deed and showed my neck. It’s veiny and flushed appearance was enough to catch his attention in a more solid way as he stopped trying to move past me and instead came closer. Trying to look me into the eyes as I instead stared at his nose, trying to not become mesmerized once more and desperately praying in my head.

He must have thought that I’d gotten nervous the moment he returned my interest. For he smiled as he put a hand on my hips. “You have one hell of a body,” opening it all with a compliment to establish a positive tone, “The booty’s especially bountiful if not…a tad fatty” only to insult me over something he thinks I’m sensitive about, trying to make me more insecure and easier to manipulate in the process. “But I love them that way” ending it all with a pseudo-compliment, making i
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I'm away for like what? 3 or 4 days or so and once again someone uses that absence as an excuse to pretend to be me? I'm frankly dissapointed in all of you.

But fine, if you're going to be like that then expect my next posts to be in /Others with an actual tripcode.

Because clearly you cannot behave yourselves.
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Shameful, to think that two people are impersonating me at once.
So anyway, I was hungry during all this so I ordered a pizza. Then I opened the pizza and then Kana or whatever her name is comes out and hits me with a go sign.
Ridiculous occurrence I know, I hardly believed go signs were real either, but here we are.
So anyway, Jeri hits me with the go sign, and of course I die as I am a pathetic squishy op and she is a ghost or something. THIS IS UNPLEASANT. So I order another pizza because stress eating makes me feel better and then she pops out of this one too, and I'm getting sick of it now so I says to her: "What the fuck janet, can a man not even have a fucking goddamn pizza anymore you spiteful sceptic cunt?!" And then she has the gall to act like she's the aggrieved party and then SHE hits ME again with the stop sign.
So of course I'm done with this shit, this is domestic abuse, so I call the cops and I tells em "I've had it up to FUCKING HERE this fat cow Margret keeps FUCKING HITTING ME!" and then they ask if anyone is there and hang up, cause I'm a ghost now see? She already killed my ass in line 2 of this post.
But anyway, that's getting me over there so I try and grab some salt from the kitchen, gonna show this weevil motherfucker how she likes being "Marcille Flambe in HELL" when I purify her ass, but cause I've only been a ghost for half an hour at this point and I ain't got no practice, hand goes right through the mill, fist closes around the salt, searing burns all around the inside of my hand and I had to type this entirely with my left one.
Whaddami gunna do about this?

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File 164841282479.jpg - (72.93KB, 850x1011, __kasodani_kyouko_touhou_drawn_by_kamotsu_yasai__s.jpg)
__kasodani_kyouko_touhou_drawn_by_kamotsu_yasai__s
I was once a happy man of sound and stable mind.
Then my neighbour got a dog.
She put a ribbon on its head to make it cute.
But it still looked like a yamabiko.
She had me over, to watch it sit and pray
It bit my knee and made love to my leg.
Now it barks all the night and all of the day.
Whenever it’s not peeing on my lawn.

I didn’t get to sleep last night till very late.
The stupid dog barked and gurred.
I woke up late for work and ran to fly off.
But I slipped on a tuurd.

I was certain, it wasn’t one of mine.
And that damn dog has crossed over the line.
Wanting to exterminate it and all it’s kind.
From my lovely little graveyard.

I’m gonna kill the dog next door!
Ain’t gonna bark anymore!
Cause today is judgement day!
And the little runt’s about to pay!
No more turds on my lawn.
That stupid dog will soon be gone.
Gonna kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill that dog!

I got a little monster in my garden.
So I grab an axe and off I go.
And I try my best to get it.
All I do is sever my big toe.

My neighbour comes out to call me.
She says humans and youkais should just be friends.
She puts her little pet in my forgiving hands…
Then it starts to bite so I strangle it with all my might.
Oh
Oh
OH
OH
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

I’m gonna kill the dog next door!
Ain’t gonna bark anymore!
Cause this is judgement day!
And the little cunt’s about to pay!
No more turds on my lawn!
That stupid mutt will soon be gone!
Gonna kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill that dog!

Now’s the stupid mutt in doggy heaven.
I strangled it to death and now I’m free.
But my trouble ain’t quite over.
My neighbour called the Hakurei on me.

I end up at the Hakurei Shrine.
Where I’m told that I must pay.
A 3-thousand-yen fund.
Wow, that’s a bad bail you.
I think I’ll kill my neighbour too!
Oh
Oh
OH
OH
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

I’m gonna kill the ga
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>>25299
>3-thousand-yen
That’s like 30 USD on a good day.

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File 164572428165.png - (849.76KB, 747x845, Momo Bebe.png)
Momo Bebe
Your move Anon.
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File 164599742614.jpg - (89.98KB, 800x972, __kaku_seiga_touhou_drawn_by_ini_inunabe00__94db62.jpg)
__kaku_seiga_touhou_drawn_by_ini_inunabe00__94db62
>>25173

You do a victory roll, your soft and harmless body goes upside down as your movement and movement make you roll closer to the meat-bun. It is SO CLOSE, even in bite range!

>>25174

Determined by the proximity and wanting to surpass all of your limits, you do the unthinkable. You roll again! No-one has ever rolled twice in their life as far as you know!

This makes you the roll master, you're not even dizzy and you're still rolling!

>>25176

BUT THAT"S ENOUGH!

Mid-roll and in the peak of your acceleration, you lunge for the meatball!

You lunge for the meatbal!

Uh, weird. You're trying to jump for it but somehow you're frozen in the air.

Probably because someone's holding you by one leg.

Oh wait, that someone's a lady, a pretty blue haired lady. She looks really nice.

"Who left a perfectly defenceless and unattended baby in these premises?" She talks out loud for some reason "Oh, what a crime it is to abandon such a poor thing. Not only that but you were about to fall into a trap weren't you? Don't worry little baby, I'm going to put you in the fun bag and take you back to your parents okay?"

What do you do now? The meat's so close yet the lady's holding you!
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[x] Bite the blue lady. Her bag smells funny and she’s not letting you eat.
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[x] its time, your entire life has been leading up to this moment when you would say your first word...
- [x] Call her a hag.

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File 16431543649.png - (55.65KB, 128x252, Th06Sakuya.png)
Th06Sakuya
Her real power is that she's mean.
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No, her real power is cutting edge technology in heart-rending banter.
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Her real power is not friendship. ( she doesn't have any.)
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File 164338989854.jpg - (198.04KB, 1500x1000, __remilia_scarlet_and_izayoi_sakuya_touhou_drawn_b.jpg)
__remilia_scarlet_and_izayoi_sakuya_touhou_drawn_b
Her real power is this gun she found.

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File 164329769721.png - (193.55KB, 1024x1024, 2aeeae1984bb803406baddfa767153514da4b055.png)
2aeeae1984bb803406baddfa767153514da4b055
Post frogs.
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File 164329933313.png - (1.28MB, 1050x1600, frog tongue.png)
frog tongue
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File 16433106814.jpg - (36.05KB, 485x440, __cirno_touhou_drawn_by_kito_sorahate__0c2dc53fa58.jpg)
__cirno_touhou_drawn_by_kito_sorahate__0c2dc53fa58
>>25132
That isn't a frog.
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File 164338981984.jpg - (59.93KB, 800x540, medium.jpg)
medium

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File 164211713819.jpg - (26.91KB, 768x432, Micheal Jordan.jpg)
Micheal Jordan
Michael Jordan
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Kosuzu?
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File 164270882379.png - (635.03KB, 828x610, MotooriJordan.png)
MotooriJordan
>>25112
Motoori Jordan
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...I have seen perfection.

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File 164103030828.png - (10.18KB, 504x404, yearofthetigerbaybee.png)
yearofthetigerbaybee
I, for one, am glad THP lives on despite these times. Sure fuckin' hope things get better, though. In many ways.

Seriously, though, love you guys. Extra homo.
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Same Anon, awesome that it's still alive and let's hope it stays that way too the next year.

Only way is up after all
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The years may change but time feels much the same. All the same, happy New Year and hope that everyone is well.
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>>25086
Extra homo.
Didn't ZUN canonize zero homo though?

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