I awoke to a pounding sensation in my head that made my vision go white around the edges, staring blearily at the grass underneath me as the world slowly faded into comprehensibility. The sun was bearing down overhead, but the air was cool.

Attempting to remember the night before, I was met with a sudden bolt of pain arcing through my head. I grimaced, surveying the jumble of half-formed thoughts and haze that I could make neither heads nor tails of. I turned my attention outward to my immediate surroundings in hope for a clue and some relief from this mental quagmire.

Looking up, my senses were immediately assaulted by the rich greens of the environment and the clear blue of the sky. The surroundings didn’t feel remotely familiar, and I picked myself up from the flat ground and began to walk towards the nearby body of water in my vicinity. Peering down as I walked, even my clothes and body didn’t ring any bells. What was going on..? Why was it so difficult to remember anything notable? Or anything at all for that matter?

“Where am I… more importantly, -who- am I..?” I muttered, as I approached the calm surface and peered at my reflection. Suddenly I had a flash of recognition.

[ ] “Reimu!”
[ ] “Suika!”
[ ] “Alice!”
[ ] “...?” But the name disappeared before I could grab onto it.

[x] Dodge the knife.
[x] Return the smile.

— - — - —

"Whoa!" You lean back as she slashes at you, her eyes locked on your throat.

Stumbling back, you find that she's licking blood from the blade.

-1HP

You realize that she nicked your throat. Any closer and...

And...

THREAD ONE: >>185269
THREAD TWO: >>185998
THREAD THREE: >>186634
THREAD FOUR: >>193855
__________

Nope. No. Nuh-uh. I'm not getting between a screaming witch and a massive super-soldier whatever the hell he's supposed to be. Nah. I'm going to just take a seat on the bookshelf right here and let them keep swearing at each other.

“GET THE FUCK DOWN FROM THERE, YOU PORPORATE PAJAMA'D PIECE OF PISS!” says the golden invader, gesticulating furiously at Patchouli.

“OH, HOLY SHIT, HE ACTUALLY KNOWS BIG WORDS!” Patchouli replies, and now I've learned what sarcasm sounds like when it's screamed at someone.

“I AM NOT A GODDAMN ILLITERATE, YOU PUTRID PUSTULE.”

“ALLITERATION ISN'T CLEVER, SHITLORD.”

"Unoriginal title" edition.
Previous thread: >>179898

[X]Just stay by yourself. Anyone wants to talk, they'll come to you.
[X]Have a drink, loosen up a bit.

You know what, while you're interested in meeting everyone else, you can't be arsed to actually get up and talk to them. To that end, you decide to simply stay where you are, and let them come to you.

Also, you don't feel like being completely sober. You can't remember the last time you were able to have an actual drink.

Getting up, you feel a few eyes linger on you as you approach the drink table. As you stop in front of the alcohol, you realize that you'll kinda have to take your mask off to actually have a drink. Thankfully, you were facing away from everyone, so you could gulp some liquid down without showing your face. You don't know why you're worried about that, however. Probably something about preserving the mystery that is you, or some bollocks.

Anyway, you manage to slip the lower half of your mask up with your good hand, which almost completely obscures your vision, but you can at least drink something. You quickly fill your glass and swallow it down, wincing as the alcohol burns your throat. You missed that.

Fitting your mask back on, you turn to see most of the room watching you, evidently hoping to sneak a peek of your face.

You get it.

As hard as it is to believe, you think you actually get what the white-haired girl is saying!

Looking back on your past actions, it certainly does explain more than a couple things that had once left you confused.

The upperclassmen who giggled or laughed at you...
The underclassmen who gave you strange looks and said something about 'stranger danger'...
The maid that closed the door on your face without a word...
The waitress who laughed uncomfortably and refused to make eye-contact from that moment on...
The nurse's reaction from before...
Even...


Oh.

Your name is Hakurei Reimu, and you have a headache.

You groan, your eyes opening to a hazy wooden roof. Your head starts throbbing as you recall last night, and how that little bastard of an Oni convinced you to try and have a drinking competition with her.

Oh, you're no lightweight, of course, but you're not a heavyweight drinker either. You can down a bottle or two, but then you have to stop or you lose all reason, which is not very good for you.

How Suika managed to convince you to do that is beyond you. "I'm going to get that little oni..." you growl underneath your breath, and stand up from the little futon you're lying on before stalking out to the main room.

Your head is still throbbing, and looking around the shrine, you're reminded why you sometimes still miss that robot maid you gave away: the shrine can get messy. Very messy.

And being the sole responsible resident of the Hakurei Shrine, the job of cleaning up goes to you.

Sighing, you walk to your front door, planning on going to the nearby shed where you keep the broom. You would keep it in the shrine, but you don't wont some youkai stealing it.

You open the door.

>>/i/704 This will be filled quite heavily with some of my better edits after the month is over.

>>191322 Previous Thread
>>188147 First Thread

[X] Let the whappings begin. You find a certain deep satisfaction to this.
[X] Defend the flower after 4 whaps!
-[X] This all started for a bad joke you couldn't even finish!
--[X] And defending you like this is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you.
---[X] Of course, that means you deserve a share in the whapping... Oh shit.

— - — - —

The first strike... Wow. That dented the armor. "Auntie, wait, stop, it's hard to get those dents ou—"

You are Truthbreaker. You have some family issues.

You are almost sure that your mother, the self assigned "cruelest witch of the universe", loves you dearly, though her love involves far too much bodily harm for any person good. Having recently survived her latest genuine attempt to kill you by some struck of luck and a healthy amount of paranoia, you decided to abscond where she would be less inspired to demonstrate her very unique brand of love. As far as possible, and then some.

Your father, a celebrity in his own right, taught you everything you know about killing witches and saving damsels in distress, which has helped to endear you very much to your much loving mother. His relation with your mother, albeit genuine, is what any sane person would call "complicated". He tried to kill her the very first time they met, which is as far as you are concerned the proper reaction to her. Or maybe it was her who tried to kill him, the story was never very clear to you.
This makes family reunion understandably difficult.

You decided to take holidays in Gensokyo, purely to piss your arch-nemesis, Yukari Yakumo, off. You’re not quite sure what step two of the plan is to be, but the first step was certainly a reward in itself. Seeing the purple hag pass through seven different layers of apoplexy before glaring at you is a memory you will cherish for years to come. After digesting the idea, the same way she would digest a particularly rancid helpless human baby, Yukari assured you that, for as long as you did not make any trouble, you were welcome in Gensokyo. You certainly commend her for saying that with a straight face. The thousand of years worth of experience in lying, cheating and baby eating probably helped.

You assured her you had no trouble in mind and she topped it by saying that she wasn't a vindicative woman. That last quip probably made all the magical lie detectors of the region explode through sheer metaphysical potency.

Now that you are getting there, though, you can’t help but have the nagging feeling that you should be polite. You can thank your mother’s – brutal - teachings for that advice: people r

THREAD ONE: >>185269
THREAD TWO: >>185998
THREAD THREE: >>186634

OKAY, REAL TALK FOR A MINUTE BEFORE I GET STARTED.

CLEARLY I CANNOT FINISH ANYTHING UNLESS I HAVE A DEADLINE ON MY ASS EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. THAT'S WHY I'M PUTTING A SWORD OVER MY NECK FOR THIS.

I WILL PUT OUT AN UPDATE EVERY DAY UNTIL THIS TALE IS FINISHED. IF I MISS A DAY, I'M KILLING THE STORY RIGHT THERE.

WE'RE IN GODDAMN SUDDEN DEATH NOW, FOLKS. UPDATES WILL PROBABLY BE SMALL. THEY WILL LIKELY BE SHIT. BUT BY THE EMPEROR, I'M GETTING THEM OUT OR I'M GOING TO DIE TRYING.

BUT THEN, THAT WAS HOW THIS WORKED WHEN WE STARTED, ISN'T IT?

HERE WE GO.

>>169829


[x] Let Youmu have this chance to show her stuff!
[x] Use the Dex

Aw. It looks like there's no way out of this without fighting, huh? ...That's pretty disappointing, but... Well, Youmu seems to be pretty into it. She's sure ready to fight, so...

"...Um, go ahead, Youmu." You say, a little hesitant to actually authorize the violence that's about to proceed.

Youmu immediately moves in front of you, skidding up to the edge of the water and readying her sword as she stares up and out towards the Cirno who has been mocking your group, her whole body tensed like a coiled spring ready to release.

Mima only huffs for a moment before floating back to you and leaning on your shoulder, declaring that she's willing to let Youmu have dibs this time. Besides, she prefers actual challenges and not sacks of hot air.

Yukari remains wary atop your head, not actually going back to sleep as you feel her settle down to watch what's coming up.