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Thread 28982 hidden. Un-Hide Thread
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28982 No. 28982 hide watch expand quickreply
Crossposted here:
https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/march-of-the-failies.24933/

Votes from both sites will be counted.

~*~

In the strange dust and ashes of an abandoned cottage, you are born.

Your first sound is that of the rain pouring down, and your first sight is that of the charcoal blasted ceiling, with a hole in the corner, through which rain falls into and partially floods the simple house you find yourself in. You can smell nature and decay and chemicals unknown.

And your first thought is this: I am a failure.

From my very first moment of life, you realised this, before any other piece of knowledge: That you are a failure, that you were born in failure, that you shall live in failure, and that you shall die in failure. You were born in a building half-broken, beneath a storm.

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>> No. 29070
[x] Much better, thanks to you and yours.
[x] Peanut butter sandwich
>> No. 29071
[x] Fine, thank you
[x] Steak Sandwich
>> No. 29072
[X] Fine, thank you
[X] Go to the kitchen pantry, see what they have

>And then Hakone writes something new on the paper. . .

>The voice of Miss Hakone wafts over to you. . .

Was I the only one that noticed that the dolls have gone from using paper signs to speaking aloud?


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28639 No. 28639 hide watch expand quickreply
Decided to do a coin toss for the first two votes. Commencing update.

[c] Stay with Alice. Bonding time with seven-coloured puppeteer~

“If I were to stay with you, could I at least let my family know about this?”

“Of course you can, dear. Why, if I may ask?”

You tighten your arms about Alice’s waist. “I used to take nightshift assignments back in Melbourne. Often had to spend my night outdoors, so yeah.” You’re slightly worried when Alice stays silent, but your doubt is quickly washed away as she gently pats you. “I take it as a yes, then.”

“I already gave you my permission, silly,” Alice giggles. “Hang on. I’ll let Shanghai and Hourai deliver the message.”

“Are they capable of doing that?” you ask, slightly concerned over the fact that Alice’s entrusting her dolls to do the bidding.

“What are you talking about?” So saying, both Shanghai and Hourai appear beside Alice and curtsy to their master. “Like I said earlier, they’re my best creations and I’m very proud of them. Is there anything you’d like to convey to them before I send them?”
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>> No. 28791
[x] Yes, please choose one.
[x] Ask Kogasa about…
- [x] How she manages to be so youthful at her age.
>> No. 29246
[X] Yes, please choose one.
[X] Ask Kogasa about…
-[X] How she manages to be so youthful at her age.

I am a million years later here, but I have to say that I like this. I really do. I hope you will resume this sooner or later, SATA. And seeing how LSL came back, I have hope that you'll do the same here.
>> No. 31028
story is ded, not big surprise


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28086 No. 28086 hide watch expand quickreply
You wake up.

Okay, so waking up's not the weird part. You do it all the time, actually. Waking up is your bread and butter, by which what you're trying to say is that you wake up, and then you eat some bread and butter before you jet out the door so you don't get later than the late you already are. A long time ago you were all—cereal! Toast! OJ! All part of this balanced breakfast—but you always ended up bustin' into where you were supposed to be just in the nick of time even when you got up early to bother with toast prep, so you nixed it. It's not like you need something in your stomach anyway, in the mornings. It's all preference. Like shampoo.

So waking up's not the weird part.

Waking up in a forest, though? When you're something like ninety-nine percent sure you didn't go to sleep there? Totally weird. Good thing you've got a system.

First things first—gotta check for immediate complications. You feel around for stitches you don't remember getting and come up empty, which means you probably still have your kidneys. Or was it your liver? Either way, they're all three probably still in you, unless someone's figured out how to do stealth surgery, which is a legit concern but not one you can do anything about right now. Your heart's still beating, so you haven't been turned into a zombie or a vampire or a zombie vampire or anything like that—probably, again. Your vision's keen, and when you say “Testing testing,” it's as clear as it oughta be which takes care of hearing and vocals all at once.

Anything else?

Your head feels fine, which means nobody clocked you when you weren't looking—though that would've meant one mystery down. You run through the vitals anyway. You remember where you grew up and where you went to school. You know your mom's name and your dad's name and the names of a whole lotta other people related to you. And of course you know—

Wait.
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>> No. 28598
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28598
The image at post >>28204 is a badly drawn parody of Gheorghe Tattarescu's “Nemesis, zeiţa răzbunarii”. I drew it myself. I got a fair bit into it before I remembered I couldn't draw. In Greek mythology, Nemesis was a goddess who meted out divine justice. Christie knows this, when I remember she knows this.

The image at post >>28097 is from the music video to Semisonic's “Closing Time”. I like that song unironically and there's nothing you can do about it. Well, I suppose you could do something about it, but I feel like the effort would be disproportionate.
>> No. 28600
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28600
I feel like I shouldn't have called them “respect knuckles”. I don't know why I called them “respect knuckles”. I should have just gone with “fistbump”. The title of the image that went with that post is even “fistbump.png”.

I've been trying to find people to play tabletop games with via irc, but most of the people I can find who are playing irc tabletop games at all are playing in really depressing settings. I want to have fun. I don't want to wander a dead world, or be faced constantly with the specter of my own mortality.

I want to be able to believe that everything will turn out just fine.

Anyway, that should be enough posts. I'll see you in the next thread.
>> No. 28607
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28607
My editor, who is wise, told me that I ought to put a link to the next thread, so I will.

>>28601

There's no deeper meaning to this being Patchouli. I just searched for images of a Touhou character pointing in an upward direction. I couldn't make my search that specific, though, so I went with "Touhou" and "pointing" and from there sorted through the results myself.


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25065 No. 25065 hide watch expand quickreply
Previous thread: >>22216

Sorry for the delay, but here's the new thread~!

--------------------------------

[c] Talk with Grandma about…
- [c] …what she had wanted to tell you back at her home.


“Grandma.” You squeeze her hands, making her tremble slightly. “Look at me, just for one second.” You chuckle over her reluctance and push her chin up; a bright blush decorates her soft cheeks the moment your eyes make contact. “Come on, you know we both have nothing to hide from each other, right?”

She breaks off the eye contact and looks away, trying to hide her blush. “Treating me like I’m younger than I should,” she murmurs. “You’re embarrassing me, Alyssa, even though I’m older than you…”

You laugh softly. “You know what they always say about me,” you say. “A heart-stealing magician of the blazing star, right?”

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>> No. 28575
[x] Take Alice to your home. Introduce her to the rest of your family.
>> No. 28576
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28576
[x] On the other hand, why are Shanghai and Hourai staring jealously at you?

Asking the important questions.
>> No. 28641
Link to new thread:
>>28639


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26706 No. 26706 hide watch expand quickreply
Previous thread: >>24655

[X] Since she's offering I'd like to share some of the latent worries caused by today.

Although I don’t want to burden Wriggle with my worries, getting them out in the open should help. “It was just crazy today when Reimu kicked the door off of its hinges. She looked far more menacing than any youkai and started making various accusations about Miss Keine. Most were rather crude, and Reimu also threatened her with some 'secret' that she knows. Father and Mr. Yaguu arrived to stop her from doing more, and she left saying that Keine's position was created solely to spite her. If what Reimu said is right, the more it seems that the biggest thing trying to subvert the order of Gensokyo is the better part of the council. Those old fools… have they no respect for history?” There goes the water and the shampoo… oh that feels nice. I don’t know how I’ll manage to wash my hair myself now that I’ve felt how Wriggle does it.

“I’m not really sure about all that, but I know that Keine isn't someone who'd abuse her power… or looks,” answers Wriggle. “I think Reimu was just driven to say those things in anger. Cheer up though: the village has a bright future since those old men won't be around forever, and will be replaced by people with more sense, like you.” Now she's moving to the back... ah, that feels so nice.

“Wriggle, that really feels nice. I can't think of anything else to say that doesn’t come off sounding cheesy…” I say. I really can’t say much else; something like 'I don't know how I could have lived without this' or something equally worse would ruin the moment. I think I've cleaned up everywhere else as Wriggle rinses me off. I stand up to let her sit down.

“Yuki, could you wash my back now? I'd ask you to do my hair, but with these, it's better to be careful,” Wriggle says, pointing to her antennae. I nod and start working the soap into a lather before I try my best to replicate what she did. Leaning into my hands, she
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>> No. 28487
still alive but sort of struggling with my schedule and update.
>> No. 28488
Well... we hit autosage, but good news everyone, I finished my update. Bad news? Proofer's going to AWA, go figure.

It'll be up in a new thread. Sorry about the wait.
>> No. 28490
Here >>28489


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27490 No. 27490 hide watch expand quickreply
You breathe deeply, enjoying the fresh wild scent of storm-tossed atmosphere. The rainbeat tempo upon the porch awning has subsided to a gentle rolling patter, and a stiff, clean wind is pushing the clouds away. You tap your empty teacup against one knee and sigh discontentedly. The stifling, humid heat has been banished at last, but it brought a restlessness you can't quite shake.

It's furtive and quick, an annoying, jumpy energy that flits from excuse to excuse, every single one saying "get out of the house." You've had no luck with your research as of late – the primary energy loop needed to power a Goliath-size doll simply refuses to stabilize – and the other potential energy source -

- you fling the damn teacup across your lawn, watching it bounce and skip as it rolls across the turf. Every time you walk into the laboratory its staring you in the face, and you just can't stomach it anymore. You've never resorted to that crap. Never will. But...

You stand and stretch languidly, enjoying the simple act of moving. When magic – magic! starts to seem like work, it's a bad sign. You need to get out and get some stimulation.

"... what," you query the rain-drenched lawn uselessly. Post-rainstorm isn't the ideal time to tromp around the Forest for reagents; the cooler air brings out mosquitoes by the zillions, in the shade. Shops in the Village will be open, but you don't feel like shopping, just...

"Rrraarrgh," you whine, rubbing your hair with both hands. Men clustered under shop awnings, talking about nothing, leaning against railings and enjoying the brisk, cool breeze running down the village streets – that's what you'd be most likely to see. No, want to see. But won't. They'll be inside smoking and playing pool or parcheesi or whatever the hell they do, shut in their little smokey smelly dens of drowsy dumbassery.

You sigh again, throughly irritated with yourself. Why do you want to see the Village looking just-so? You don't know. That's the kind of day its been. That anxiety, darting between excu
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>> No. 28429
[X] I hold no illusions about how many scantily clad females must be begging you to not go into the forest and stay to warm their bedside, thank you very much.

I always look forward to seeing the next fumble Alice makes in this story.
>> No. 28430
Thread is autosaging, by the way.
>> No. 29052
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29052
>>29047

YES, HELL HAS FROZEN OVER, THAT IS A FUCKING UPDATE


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28261 No. 28261 hide watch expand quickreply
Who the hell is Sekibanki of the Willows? She's the gal in the left picture, obviously.

Not only is she the protagonist of this dumb story; she's a generic youkai like you and I. What, you're not a youkai? Wow, your life must suck!

Sekibanki is a traditional creature: she thinks she's better than everyone else, and if someone tries to tell her otherwise, she'll retaliate with swift violence. Just like everyone else in Gensokyo. Her cynicism and short temper earned her a bad reputation amongst her peers, and many await the day when karma catches up to her and exact rightful retribution... in time.

This story begins in an ordinary day like any other...

"Boy, I sure do want me some noodles!" Shouted the dullahan all of a sudden. "I don't know why I am still hungry, because I ate breakfast just an hour ago, but I guess I'd better go to that sparrow's stand, even though it's at the other end of the Forest, and I could simply go home and prepare some instant noodles myself!"

Sekibanki, craving for some quality nourishment, decided to take a shortcut through the Forest of Magic to reach the Human Village before noon. At that moment, a flock of cute little dolls came flying at mach speed from nowhere, holding many big and heavy bags that had to be carried between six or seven dolls each one. Because of this, the dolls were practically out of control, and when they saw Sekibanki and Sekibanki saw them, it was already too late to change directions for either of them.

"Look out! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Oh shi- Gah!"
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>> No. 28269
I honestly didn't see this till just now, because I manually check all the boards every once in a while, and this happened to get buried beneath the other two top stories.
>> No. 28270
>>28268
>At first I didn't believe my pal when he told me you had quite the high standards, but now I see he was completely right...
Know what? I can’t blame you for doubting him. I mean after all, we are a fanfiction site. And fanfiction isn’t really known for being quality work. But it’s good to see you’re not letting these standards drag you down.

>I guess the OP really didn't interest anyone. Or maybe I had very bad luck and posted it on a time when nobody's around
And about this; let me just be honest with you for a moment.
I saw the post about 1 hour after it was posted, when I scanned through the boards for updates. Being that I’m always curious about new writers, I decided to give it a try. I won’t lie; I couldn’t make it past the 10th line, so I clicked away and ignore it. It was first when it was brought up in the discussion I had with a friend half a day later that I decided to give it a second go.
As I said, when I first started, I’d say I was on a lower level than you right now, nevertheless I was given a chance by my readers, and I wanted you to have that same chance. After all, it was because of that I was able to improve like I did.

I’ll say it again. Keep at it, you can do it.

Also, you’re acquainted with IRC already, right? I’ll recommend you to join #Eientei. It’s a sub channel to #THP but less crowded. It’d be easier to get in contact with people there (unless you’re looking for someone specific).
>> No. 28290
Okay, a few problems stand out here.

This is a weird, discordant mix of light-hearted comedy and apparently sincere gruesome death threats. I can't tell whether our protagonist is actually a murderer or just an edgy teenager.

The characters are pretty...out-of-character. Not unusual for Touhou, of course, but generally you want to ease the audience into it. We have Alice's dolls showing up in the first post as a group of autonomous sentient beings who are capable of arguing with each other over decisions. Also, they have little to no personality (even as a group) and most of their dialogue is boring chatter or cliches.

>"Ehhhh!? Why me!?" Shanghai whined.
>"Because you're the most popular!"
>"But I don't wanna! She's scary!"
>"Then what do we do now?"
Establishing the role of the most popular doll character as "whiny and useless". Already feels like we're in a bad anime.

>"Avast! Hold tight your buns, if buns you do hold dear-!"
The most interesting line out of a dozen should not be a reference to something with better writing. All it does is highlight how lazy and uncreative your writing is.

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25011 No. 25011 hide watch expand quickreply
[ ] Aye, if she asks, you must trust your dear dollmaker.


In the end your mind swiftly streams through trammeling twists, for this question is no question at all. So you nod slightly, so with a small smile your dear dollmaker draws back and the two of you walk after the shield-thane once more.

"I don't think anyone's going to like what they see, when we gat back out however." Alice then tells you her voice surprisingly flat for soch a grave announcement.

"You know this well, I would wager." You answer her, the words bringing a chuckle from the Seven-Coloured Sorceress.

"I left Shanghai to keep an eye on Marisa." Alice answers you with a sly smile. "It's a trick we use sometimes."

You steal a swift glance at her and see that it is how she tells, the small puppet is nowhere in sight.

You feel strangely disappointed by this fact.

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>> No. 29209
>>28687
Fallout Gensokyo has revived after a hiatus of 6 YEARS.

After that, you have to BELIEVE.
>> No. 29674
New years; new hopes.
>> No. 30149
This is a woderful tale of magic and mystery, of gods and mortal man. Although it may never be completed and fade away, I can only thank the author of this story for creating it. It has once again shown me why I love norse mythology and mythology in general.

Good fortune to the creator of this tale wherever he may be.


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27165 No. 27165 hide watch expand quickreply
Part 1: >>26223
Part 2: >>26539
Part 3: >>26829

[-0-] Attempt to talk her out of it. She's just like a child, so she can be reasoned with.
-[-0-] There are, of course, times when only force is sufficient to deal with a child. She forces your hand if proves reluctant to listen to reason.

------------

Now, you're willing to give the doll just one chance to listen to reason, to put the knife down and step away. Slowly, you begin to speak in an attempt to make her listen. "Now, Kyoto, just put that down. Mystia isn't dinner, so you can just put that away—"

Thunk.

This time, the knife descends on her neck, and you see it slice all of the way through. Time stands still as you watch Mystia and her shaking eyes as the neck begins to split in two, slowly sliding off until it hits the floor with a wet thud.

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>> No. 27272
This has all been great fun to read. I really hope to see more stuff about this world you've adapted, because it is genuinely interesting- and definitely one of the most unique settings on these forums. It may be a bit dark, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel if we work for it, and those are the best kinds of CYOAs.

I look forward to the next thing you do! Especially if it involves a certain witch and her scientist friend (and HER legion of walking supertanks.)

Though, with all these PC-98 throwbacks (lord do I love them), I am left wondering, because they happen to be two of my favorite PC-98 characters...

Where are this setting's Mima- and Shinki? Hm.
>> No. 27273
Strange. All the servants we've seen have wings of some sort.

Following that logic, the entire tengu society is actually in servitude of Nitori!...or not.
>> No. 27274
>>27272
I'm not planning to do anything else in this universe for a long while, actually. I've got to get over to /other/ for that story, and there are other projects I need to finish on a different site.

Granted, the thought of writing Marisa is rather tempting. I had the thought of doing something from the point of view of Marisa hunting Lucas. If we did that, though, we'd miss out on how he copes with being in his own world once again, yet not belonging at the same time.

The only module, so to speak, that I've planned out is the SDM one. And even that is a bare minimum of having the characters outlined and the plot somewhat fleshed out. I'd rather not leap headfirst into something that I barely understand. Although, if anyone else wants to pick up the ideas...

So, as to Mima and Shinki? Fraid I have no idea at this point, to be perfectly honest.


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27606 No. 27606 hide watch expand quickreply
I am a new writer, do give me some feedback on my first story posted here. I was inspired by the "Being Meiling" thread (Keymaster you are a great writer!).
--

I felt an extreme heat overcoming my body, I couldn't breath and my heart beat heavily. My body felt like it didn't exist and all I saw was darkness. I felt... like a ghost. A spirit. I felt like a god.

Suddenly I fell and I lost consciousness. When I came to, I could feel my body again. I heard a girl talking to somebody outside the room.

I sat up and looked around and noticed an old room and, albeit cluttered, was very well cleaned. Curious. Funny, I always saw Marisa as a messy person. Wait, who's Marisa?

I stood up and walked out of the room. I saw a blonde haired girl in a black outfit with a large skirt and she wore a large... hat. She held a broom and was talking to another girl wearing a red and white sleeveless dress. She seemed pissed, presumably at this peculiar girl in black.

I took a step forward and the girl at the door noticed me. She glanced at me and looked shocked. The other girl in black turned around and her eyes opened wide. It was at this moment in time I realised that I was very much exposed.

I quickly took a step back and hid my body from these strangers. The girl in black regained her composure, though still blushing, said, "Y-Your clothes are in the closet, in your room." I wasted no time in returning to the room and finding my clothes.

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>> No. 27926
[x] Open the book.
Do it. I'm sure she (it?) has its reasons.
>> No. 28120
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28120
Well now, can't leave the story ending like that eh.

--

Standing by the book, I feel compelled to open it, as if the book was slowly working its magic into me. My hands automatically start reaching out and flip open the cover. Unlike the other grimoires, however, there was no index, nor title. The pages quickly turn to the centre where they begin to glow a fiery red. Dazzled by the lights, my mind goes to a blank whilst a red magic circle forms below my feet.

“This is me.” A thought was forced into my head

“This is who I’ve become.” Another pushes through.

“Nothing more than an empty shell of who I once was.” It comes once more

“And this book is me.” I continued, “This is my story. My past. And I will finish it.”

I hold the book with both hands and close my eyes. I can feel the heat coming from it, the magic of my old self coursing through me. I slowly lose sense of my surroundings and soon after, my conscience.
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>> No. 28380
>>28120
Um, this will be continued, right?


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