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Previous thread: >>22216

Sorry for the delay, but here's the new thread~!

--------------------------------

[c] Talk with Grandma about…
- [c] …what she had wanted to tell you back at her home.


“Grandma.” You squeeze her hands, making her tremble slightly. “Look at me, just for one second.” You chuckle over her reluctance and push her chin up; a bright blush decorates her soft cheeks the moment your eyes make contact. “Come on, you know we both have nothing to hide from each other, right?”

She breaks off the eye contact and looks away, trying to hide her blush. “Treating me like I’m younger than I should,” she murmurs. “You’re embarrassing me, Alyssa, even though I’m older than you…”

You laugh softly. “You know what they always say about me,” you say. “A heart-stealing magician of the blazing star, right?”

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[x] Take Alice to your home. Introduce her to the rest of your family.
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[x] On the other hand, why are Shanghai and Hourai staring jealously at you?

Asking the important questions.
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Link to new thread:
>>28639

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Previous thread: >>24655

[X] Since she's offering I'd like to share some of the latent worries caused by today.

Although I don’t want to burden Wriggle with my worries, getting them out in the open should help. “It was just crazy today when Reimu kicked the door off of its hinges. She looked far more menacing than any youkai and started making various accusations about Miss Keine. Most were rather crude, and Reimu also threatened her with some 'secret' that she knows. Father and Mr. Yaguu arrived to stop her from doing more, and she left saying that Keine's position was created solely to spite her. If what Reimu said is right, the more it seems that the biggest thing trying to subvert the order of Gensokyo is the better part of the council. Those old fools… have they no respect for history?” There goes the water and the shampoo… oh that feels nice. I don’t know how I’ll manage to wash my hair myself now that I’ve felt how Wriggle does it.

“I’m not really sure about all that, but I know that Keine isn't someone who'd abuse her power… or looks,” answers Wriggle. “I think Reimu was just driven to say those things in anger. Cheer up though: the village has a bright future since those old men won't be around forever, and will be replaced by people with more sense, like you.” Now she's moving to the back... ah, that feels so nice.

“Wriggle, that really feels nice. I can't think of anything else to say that doesn’t come off sounding cheesy…” I say. I really can’t say much else; something like 'I don't know how I could have lived without this' or something equally worse would ruin the moment. I think I've cleaned up everywhere else as Wriggle rinses me off. I stand up to let her sit down.

“Yuki, could you wash my back now? I'd ask you to do my hair, but with these, it's better to be careful,” Wriggle says, pointing to her antennae. I nod and start working the soap into a lather before I try my best to replicate what she did. Leaning into my hands, she says, “Yuki, don'
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still alive but sort of struggling with my schedule and update.
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Well... we hit autosage, but good news everyone, I finished my update. Bad news? Proofer's going to AWA, go figure.

It'll be up in a new thread. Sorry about the wait.
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Here >>28489

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You breathe deeply, enjoying the fresh wild scent of storm-tossed atmosphere. The rainbeat tempo upon the porch awning has subsided to a gentle rolling patter, and a stiff, clean wind is pushing the clouds away. You tap your empty teacup against one knee and sigh discontentedly. The stifling, humid heat has been banished at last, but it brought a restlessness you can't quite shake.

It's furtive and quick, an annoying, jumpy energy that flits from excuse to excuse, every single one saying "get out of the house." You've had no luck with your research as of late – the primary energy loop needed to power a Goliath-size doll simply refuses to stabilize – and the other potential energy source -

- you fling the damn teacup across your lawn, watching it bounce and skip as it rolls across the turf. Every time you walk into the laboratory its staring you in the face, and you just can't stomach it anymore. You've never resorted to that crap. Never will. But...

You stand and stretch languidly, enjoying the simple act of moving. When magic – magic! starts to seem like work, it's a bad sign. You need to get out and get some stimulation.

"... what," you query the rain-drenched lawn uselessly. Post-rainstorm isn't the ideal time to tromp around the Forest for reagents; the cooler air brings out mosquitoes by the zillions, in the shade. Shops in the Village will be open, but you don't feel like shopping, just...

"Rrraarrgh," you whine, rubbing your hair with both hands. Men clustered under shop awnings, talking about nothing, leaning against railings and enjoying the brisk, cool breeze running down the village streets – that's what you'd be most likely to see. No, want to see. But won't. They'll be inside smoking and playing pool or parcheesi or whatever the hell they do, shut in their little smokey smelly dens of drowsy dumbassery.

You sigh again, throughly irritated with yourself. Why do you want to see the Village looking just-so? You don't kn
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[X] I hold no illusions about how many scantily clad females must be begging you to not go into the forest and stay to warm their bedside, thank you very much.

I always look forward to seeing the next fumble Alice makes in this story.
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>>29047

YES, HELL HAS FROZEN OVER, THAT IS A FUCKING UPDATE

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Who the hell is Sekibanki of the Willows? She's the gal in the left picture, obviously.

Not only is she the protagonist of this dumb story; she's a generic youkai like you and I. What, you're not a youkai? Wow, your life must suck!

Sekibanki is a traditional creature: she thinks she's better than everyone else, and if someone tries to tell her otherwise, she'll retaliate with swift violence. Just like everyone else in Gensokyo. Her cynicism and short temper earned her a bad reputation amongst her peers, and many await the day when karma catches up to her and exact rightful retribution... in time.

This story begins in an ordinary day like any other...

"Boy, I sure do want me some noodles!" Shouted the dullahan all of a sudden. "I don't know why I am still hungry, because I ate breakfast just an hour ago, but I guess I'd better go to that sparrow's stand, even though it's at the other end of the Forest, and I could simply go home and prepare some instant noodles myself!"

Sekibanki, craving for some quality nourishment, decided to take a shortcut through the Forest of Magic to reach the Human Village before noon. At that moment, a flock of cute little dolls came flying at mach speed from nowhere, holding many big and heavy bags that had to be carried between six or seven dolls each one. Because of this, the dolls were practically out of control, and when they saw Sekibanki and Sekibanki saw them, it was already too late to change directions for either of them.

"Look out! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Oh shi- Gah!"
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I honestly didn't see this till just now, because I manually check all the boards every once in a while, and this happened to get buried beneath the other two top stories.
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>>28268
>At first I didn't believe my pal when he told me you had quite the high standards, but now I see he was completely right...
Know what? I can’t blame you for doubting him. I mean after all, we are a fanfiction site. And fanfiction isn’t really known for being quality work. But it’s good to see you’re not letting these standards drag you down.

>I guess the OP really didn't interest anyone. Or maybe I had very bad luck and posted it on a time when nobody's around
And about this; let me just be honest with you for a moment.
I saw the post about 1 hour after it was posted, when I scanned through the boards for updates. Being that I’m always curious about new writers, I decided to give it a try. I won’t lie; I couldn’t make it past the 10th line, so I clicked away and ignore it. It was first when it was brought up in the discussion I had with a friend half a day later that I decided to give it a second go.
As I said, when I first started, I’d say I was on a lower level than you right now, nevertheless I was given a chance by my readers, and I wanted you to have that same chance. After all, it was because of that I was able to improve like I did.

I’ll say it again. Keep at it, you can do it.

Also, you’re acquainted with IRC already, right? I’ll recommend you to join #Eientei. It’s a sub channel to #THP but less crowded. It’d be easier to get in contact with people there (unless you’re looking for someone specific).
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Okay, a few problems stand out here.

This is a weird, discordant mix of light-hearted comedy and apparently sincere gruesome death threats. I can't tell whether our protagonist is actually a murderer or just an edgy teenager.

The characters are pretty...out-of-character. Not unusual for Touhou, of course, but generally you want to ease the audience into it. We have Alice's dolls showing up in the first post as a group of autonomous sentient beings who are capable of arguing with each other over decisions. Also, they have little to no personality (even as a group) and most of their dialogue is boring chatter or cliches.

>"Ehhhh!? Why me!?" Shanghai whined.
>"Because you're the most popular!"
>"But I don't wanna! She's scary!"
>"Then what do we do now?"
Establishing the role of the most popular doll character as "whiny and useless". Already feels like we're in a bad anime.

>"Avast! Hold tight your buns, if buns you do hold dear-!"
The most interesting line out of a dozen should not be a reference to something with better writing. All it does is highlight how lazy and uncreative your writing is.

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Part 1: >>26223
Part 2: >>26539
Part 3: >>26829

[-0-] Attempt to talk her out of it. She's just like a child, so she can be reasoned with.
-[-0-] There are, of course, times when only force is sufficient to deal with a child. She forces your hand if proves reluctant to listen to reason.

------------

Now, you're willing to give the doll just one chance to listen to reason, to put the knife down and step away. Slowly, you begin to speak in an attempt to make her listen. "Now, Kyoto, just put that down. Mystia isn't dinner, so you can just put that away—"

Thunk.

This time, the knife descends on her neck, and you see it slice all of the way through. Time stands still as you watch Mystia and her shaking eyes as the neck begins to split in two, slowly sliding off until it hits the floor with a wet thud.

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This has all been great fun to read. I really hope to see more stuff about this world you've adapted, because it is genuinely interesting- and definitely one of the most unique settings on these forums. It may be a bit dark, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel if we work for it, and those are the best kinds of CYOAs.

I look forward to the next thing you do! Especially if it involves a certain witch and her scientist friend (and HER legion of walking supertanks.)

Though, with all these PC-98 throwbacks (lord do I love them), I am left wondering, because they happen to be two of my favorite PC-98 characters...

Where are this setting's Mima- and Shinki? Hm.
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Strange. All the servants we've seen have wings of some sort.

Following that logic, the entire tengu society is actually in servitude of Nitori!...or not.
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>>27272
I'm not planning to do anything else in this universe for a long while, actually. I've got to get over to /other/ for that story, and there are other projects I need to finish on a different site.

Granted, the thought of writing Marisa is rather tempting. I had the thought of doing something from the point of view of Marisa hunting Lucas. If we did that, though, we'd miss out on how he copes with being in his own world once again, yet not belonging at the same time.

The only module, so to speak, that I've planned out is the SDM one. And even that is a bare minimum of having the characters outlined and the plot somewhat fleshed out. I'd rather not leap headfirst into something that I barely understand. Although, if anyone else wants to pick up the ideas...

So, as to Mima and Shinki? Fraid I have no idea at this point, to be perfectly honest.

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I am a new writer, do give me some feedback on my first story posted here. I was inspired by the "Being Meiling" thread (Keymaster you are a great writer!).
--

I felt an extreme heat overcoming my body, I couldn't breath and my heart beat heavily. My body felt like it didn't exist and all I saw was darkness. I felt... like a ghost. A spirit. I felt like a god.

Suddenly I fell and I lost consciousness. When I came to, I could feel my body again. I heard a girl talking to somebody outside the room.

I sat up and looked around and noticed an old room and, albeit cluttered, was very well cleaned. Curious. Funny, I always saw Marisa as a messy person. Wait, who's Marisa?

I stood up and walked out of the room. I saw a blonde haired girl in a black outfit with a large skirt and she wore a large... hat. She held a broom and was talking to another girl wearing a red and white sleeveless dress. She seemed pissed, presumably at this peculiar girl in black.

I took a step forward and the girl at the door noticed me. She glanced at me and looked shocked. The other girl in black turned around and her eyes opened wide. It was at this moment in time I realised that I was very much exposed.

I quickly took a step back and hid my body from these strangers. The girl in black regained her composure, though still blushing, said, "Y-Your clothes are in the closet, in your room." I wasted no time in returning to the room and finding my clothes.

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[x] Open the book.
Do it. I'm sure she (it?) has its reasons.
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Well now, can't leave the story ending like that eh.

--

Standing by the book, I feel compelled to open it, as if the book was slowly working its magic into me. My hands automatically start reaching out and flip open the cover. Unlike the other grimoires, however, there was no index, nor title. The pages quickly turn to the centre where they begin to glow a fiery red. Dazzled by the lights, my mind goes to a blank whilst a red magic circle forms below my feet.

“This is me.” A thought was forced into my head

“This is who I’ve become.” Another pushes through.

“Nothing more than an empty shell of who I once was.” It comes once more

“And this book is me.” I continued, “This is my story. My past. And I will finish it.”

I hold the book with both hands and close my eyes. I can feel the heat coming from it, the magic of my old self coursing through me. I slowly lose sense of my surroundings and soon after, my conscience.
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>>28120
Um, this will be continued, right?

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This has taken far too long. I offer a wall as an apology

--------------------

[ ] Regardless of your enmity, Yukari was a worthy opponent. You must at least show her the respect that is due to the valiant dead.


You're just too tired right now. You feel like telling Marisa to go away, or simply to collapse on the ground. Your head sinks as the twin demands of worry and weariness exact their price from your tired limbs.

Yet not even your state of exhaustion can make you ignore the sudden irritation of small but insistent prodding to the side of your head. You turn to confront it, and are met with the perfetly sculpted head of Shanghai. The red-dressed doll regards you with concern evident from her elaborately painted features. She lands on your shoulder, reaches up and pats your head, as if comforting a child. Somehow this sensation feels extremely relaxing, awakening a soft, warm feeling within your chest.

And where there is a doll, there must be a master. Out of the corner of your eye you see the blue-red puppetmaker kneeling down beside you.

"Hello Sigurd, nice to see you again." You turn your head to meet Alice's warm smile. Her cheerful expression is quickly replaced by a concerned look as she sees your tired expression and ashen features. The dollmaker sighs softly and pulls a small napkin out of some hidden pocket in her dress.

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set your countenance and your will, upon those portals of soul! cringing spirit flees, but cannot escape its gaze, and is twice judged; the face of battle measures, exposes weakness; doubt, fear, sets upon itself; that beholding moment, that pierces mind, steals strength, locks limb; let the hoary eye of north channel odins consuming fury, his command, and despair!
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>>28026
I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will kill you. You bumped an old excellent story that has been dead for five years, just to shitpost. For that, I will give you no quarter.
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>>28027

Eh, technically it's only been dead for a year and a half and Norseman has come back from longer, Necroanon just voted in the wrong thread.

You've still got a point though. Oh well, at least I got a good reaction pic out of this. Thanks for that, by the way.

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Previous: >>25129

-

I was past the point of no return.

Marisa entrusted herself to me wholly and, for better or worse, it was my responsibility to deal with her. Even though the turn of events were still hard to explain or rationalize it was still my actions that had directly led to them. As I silently held her closer I couldn't justify what I was about to do as something that was wholly outside of my control. Events bigger than me shaped my reality only partially, I always had the choice of dealing with them in different ways. Even if I couldn't change things I could at least perceive them differently. Little consolation that it was.

But that, too, was a pointless thought.

The impropriety of the situation wasn't lost on me. I didn't let any one emotion win out in the jumble that was my heart as I silently kissed Marisa on the forehead. She looked at me expectantly, the mere promise of my touch enough to make her breath quicken. The passion was physical, driven by need and lust rather than any emotional entanglement. This made things both easier and harder to rationalize. Her body pressed close to mine, greedily seeking my attention and affection.

I pressed back at her. My hands moved down from her neckline and hovered toward her chest. Modesty was one of the first casualties in the scenario, along with any hopes of detached reasoning, and Marisa cooed softly as I unfastened what little remained of her clothes. The feedback she gave me guided my actions. Every twitch and throb was a direct result of a caress or grope. Aural response accompanied the tactile output; Moans, groans and quiet panting all escaped her lips.

Though the objective was to help her I couldn't help but feel a good as well. The mostly naked girl gave herself wholly to me and entrusted her body to my care. Feeling her modest but girlish chest was outright fun – a gentle pinch of an erect nipple was enough to cause Marisa to let out the sweetest of cries. She was shamelessly lacking any composure and that emboldened me to make the most of the situation. I fondled delicate
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>>27619
We can always hope that she doesn't catch on. I mean, she is pretty arrogant, who knows, she might just let it pass.
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>>27619
Doubtful, she knows that Arc thinks something is up. Being up front about it takes courage and audacity, this option will not squander the good will that Arc has built up with Mima. This is going to be fun.
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>>27624
That's not the case for me, rather she's letting Arc do as he wishes because she feels he's not a threat, but rather an aide. Going up and asking her would likely play our hand for no gain.

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Part 1: >>26223
Part 2: >>26539

[-h-] …Do as she says. What can you do that she wouldn't simply shrug off, or worse?

------------

Quietly, you stare at the form of the girl lying on the ground in a pool of rapidly expanding blood. Her breath hitches as she sucks in air, her damaged lungs unable to suck in enough air to satisfy her desire. The urge to disobey Wriggle’s orders is strong, stronger than anything you've felt in quite a while. With Mystia's ruined body in front of you, so close and so fragile, your instincts and morals scream at you to run and comfort her.

As great as the desire is, though, you know that you cannot follow through with it. Wriggle is much stronger than you, and is quite insistent as to what you do now. You have no idea how she might react if you go out of your way to even so much as comfort the girl. So, you slowly fold your wings down and follow after the girl.

Walking down the steps, you realize that the walls were not entirely featureless. Either due to her presence or with some as of now unknown magic, Wriggle had summoned or lit braziers that now line the walls. At the level you are at now, the walls seem to be made of actual stonework. The moment you descend below them, though, the walls turn back into the rough rock that you are familiar with.

The whole time that you follow her, though, you curl your hands at the sight of her neck. How easy it would seem to be to just leap forward and cut it open, letting the blood spill out of that pretty little neck of hers… However, you stop yourself from giving into that anger. After seeing what she had done to Mystia, what could you do that would even have a chance at being effective?

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>>27159 Not that it's an excuse, but sentiments of hopelessness, "fuck Alice", "fuck the world" fueled the vote. Quite appropriate in-character, too.
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Part Four: 27165
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>>27166
Of all the times to not have a password. Proper link is >>27165

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[x] Defend the youkai

"Marisa, calm down! She didn't hurt me." I step closer to the magician, trying to put myself between her and the youkai.

"I-I'll just take my leave of you guys.." The spider starts to creep back up her thread.

"Wait, please." Alice's calm demeanor diffuses the situation. "I don't ask you to prove your innocence, but if you could help us for a moment, I'm sure my friend over here will abandon her 'blast first ask questions later' attitude. Is that acceptable?"

Everyone in the room nods all at the same time, as though puppets on strings. The doll master is certainly an interesting woman in more ways than one. She clears her throat before continuing.

"I won't ask for much. Do you know anything about a beast or the earthquakes around here?"

The spider puts a hand to her chin. "I don't know about a beast, but the quakes have been coming from some fighting in the tunnels. Apparently some of the underground's more rowdy inhabitants have been challenging some newcomer. I can walk you to the Ancient City if you like. They'll be able to give you more information."

We agree, and follow her through winding tunnels. The pace is slow and the atmosphere is that of a hostage situation. Marisa seems tense down here. I wonder what has someone so carefree so worried? Alice on the other hand is cool and collected. Her face isn't smiling, but her mannerisms are as polite as ever. On the way, the spider introduces herself as Yamame Kurodani. We all trade names with her as well, but the air isn't exactly amiable. She doesn't seem as nervous around me though, so I approach her.
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Tick tock, you bum.
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[X] Ask yugi out to dinner.
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>>26956
>Forest LA action
Oh, don't start that again.

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