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File 136717692619.png - (792.62KB, 800x792, always brightens your day.png) [iqdb]
Because there's always time for some Meiling.

Thread 1: >>/sdm/54956
Thread 2: >>/sdm/55386
Thread 3: >>/sdm/55803
Thread 4: >>/sdm/56153
Thread 5: >>/sdm/56497


With a nervous gulp I decide to call out to her. It's not that I'm actually frightened or anything by this surreal atmosphere. No sir. Not at all. I just don't want to disturb the poor girl. That's all. Really.


"Hey there!" I call out, forcing myself not to hide behind a tree. For a moment there is no response. Then the fairy slowly, methodically, sets her spoon down and turns towards me like she's rotating on an axis. Smooth, mechanical, precise... like she's keeping a careful grip on herself and won't let anything inside burst out.

Empty, dead eyes lock onto my own and a wide, cheery smile covers her face like a rictus grin on a skull. "Hi Meiling," the fairy says in a bright voice that's just a little bit too high-pitched. "Welcome to my camp. Would you like some soup?"

I carefully walk forward, all the while struck by the surreality of it all. "Um... no thanks. So, how are you holding up here, anyway?"

The little fairy doesn't move from her chair, instead choosing to follow me with her eyes. "Well, there are no marshmallows here. And that sucks. But it's okay, right? I mean, I did something bad, and have to pay for it. So it's my punishment, right? Not having any marshmallows. Instead, I plant down trees to replace the ones I burnt down while trying to roast marshmallows. That's my punishment, that's what Miss Yuuka told me."

I look down at the fairy's dinner table, where everything is just so precisely laid out. It's as unnatural as anything else in this little clearing. "Um... I can't help but noticed how orderly this whole place is."

She nods back at me. One careful nod, head moving up, down, back into place at one slow, steady rate. "That's right. Good girls keep their space nice and neat. Good girls get to have marshmallows. It's been so long since I've had a marshmallow. So I make sure everything is nice and neat here. My tent. My clothes. My food. Even the plants. I have to be a good girl so I can make everyone happy."

"...Make... everyone happy?" I ask, skin nearly crawling at the strangeness of it all. It's like the fairy is possessed by something.

"That's right. I want to make everybody happy. That's what a fairy does, right? Works hard and makes everyone happy. That's what I want to do. So I'll work hard here, and Miss Yuuka will let me go, and I can have some marshmallows. Then I can make everyone happy." Her head slowly swivels around to look at a part of the forest. I don't see anything different about it. "I tried to make a marshmallow tree," she confides in me, "But it didn't work. No marshmallows. So I tried planting some cotton and using some magic, but that didn't work either. I really want a marshmallow."

"So I gathered," I murmur. This is bad. I've heard of fairies occasionally getting a little obsessed with something they really liked, but this is a little too much. She's like a drug addict who went off the deep end during withdrawal. Well, maybe I can cheer her up a little bit.

"I have something for you," I tell the disturbing fairy, holding out an envelope.

"A letter?" She asks, taking it from me. "The color is the same as marshmallows. I wonder what's inside?" Her empty smile never flickers even once. With slow, mechanical motions, the fairy opens the envelope and unfolds the letter, looking at the colorful crayon writing on the paper.

It's like flicking a light switch. In an instant, the dead, empty smile is replaced by a look of genuine shock. Eyes light up in surprise, and her empty smile turns into an 'O' of astonishment. "Th-this is..." Her eyes flicker over the paper. "This is from everyone back home...?"

"That's right," I tell her quietly, "Your sister fairies were worried about you. The asked me to give you a letter, to let you know that they're all thinking about you, and are worried about you."

She blinks as her eyes start to tear up a little bit. "Everyone wrote to me... they're not mad at me... the want me to come home." A teary smile forms on her face, and her voice chokes up a little bit. "Eheh... I thought they'd forgotten all about me, but they hadn't. I'm, I'm so happy!" The little fairy hugs the letter tightly to her chest as a happy tear rolls down her cheek.

I feel my heart melt a little bit and reach out to stroke her hair. The poor fairy. After years of wandering the wilderness, she gets a home at the mansion and immediately falls in love with a kind of sweet. That's something fairly common for the maid staff. There's usually one little aspect of society that they fixate upon with wonder and just can't get enough of, like flushing the toilets or the light switches.

In her case? Toasting marshmallows. Poor dear probably didn't even realize the proper way to roast them, and thought that setting a fire was the natural way to go about it. Which isn't wrong, she just didn't realize that you weren't supposed to set a fire inside the house. All in all, just a typical fairy misunderstanding, which led to this.

I sigh as the little maid reads over her letter once again. You know what? It wouldn't be such a bad idea to spoil her, now would it? After all, total withdrawal led her to this, so maybe she should get a little treat in exchange for her hard work?

Though I should probably point out that she's been going a little overboard.

I slowly pull out a clear plastic bag. "Hey, little one? Look at what I brought!" The fairy looks up curiously. Her eyes immediately lock on the jumbo-sized bag of marshmallows I had snuck out of the kitchen before leaving. Said eyes get very, very large.

"I thought you might like a-" I begin.


In a sudden blur of motion, the fairy lunges out of her chair, rips the bag out of my hands, and rolls along the ground with the force of her momentum. Before my shocked eyes, she tears the bag open like a feral animal and pulls out a single marshmallow. This lone marshmallow is help up carefully, reverently, and gazed upon with awe, as though it were some sort of sacred relic. Quickly, the fairy takes a bite out of the marshmallow, which she begins to chew slowly and carefully, face an expression of pure bliss. She sighs happily as she slowly makes her way through the marshmallow. Then she takes another and gives it the same treatment.

I laugh despite myself. "Wanna roast them?"

Her face whips around to stare at me wide-eyed. "Can we?!"

A little later, the fairy is sitting on my lap as I hug her tightly, happily roasting marshmallows over a fire I've made. Every so often she'll pull her roasted treats off of her stick to pop them in her mouth, before re-loading the stick for another go over the fire. She hums happily the whole time, absolutely content with her life.

I wonder. Should I take her back home? Strange setup or not, she has replanted everything she burned down, more or less. Yuuka certainly wouldn't object.

Still, there's yet something a little off about her. The way she stares into the fire wide-eyed. Her almost feral hunger for marshmallows. Would it be better to take her back home, to make sure she's getting better? Or should I keep her out here, and try to wean her off of marshmallows? It's kind of a risk either way...

[ ] Take her home, where everyone can keep an eye on her.
[ ] Leave her here for a little while, and let her get back to nature.
As with any addict, it's almost impossible to get them to reform normally. The best way to learn is the hardest way: by hitting rock bottom.

[x]Recruit Eirin's help in giving the fairy a roasted-marshmellow IV.
[x] Take her home, where everyone can keep an eye on her.

A Fairy that loves marshmallows so much that she would watch the world burn left alone all to herself? Not a good idea.
[X] See if you can take her to get a prescription for marshmallow patches. Or one of those new electronic marshmallows.

She needs help! Might also want to check out the scheduled for the marshmallow cessation classes over at the school building, so she can learn from like-minded individuals.
[X] Take her home, where everyone can keep an eye on her.

Little ones done her time. Lets bring her home. And teach her how to make toasted marshmallows the Right and Proper way.
[X] Take her home, where everyone can keep an eye on her.

We need to teach her how to make marshmallows properly! To that end, we should probably go on some kind of camping trip soonish, or something.


[x] Try to teach her the proper art of marshmallow roasting and/or where to find roasting-wood that /isn't/ in the mansion.

Maybe the human village has a place that sells a variety of wood? I'm sure the Oni would keep tons of different wood in stock for aging their booze.
[x] Leave her here for a little while, and let her get back to nature.

Seems like bringing her back might trigger a relapse.
[X] Take her home, where everyone can keep an eye on her.

[x] Try to teach her the proper art of marshmallow roasting.

So as to not burn down more things.
[x]Take her to the Underground.

That's where rejected youkai and fairy end up, anyway. I'm sure she'll make good friends there. If our little fairy finally snaps and burns everything to the (even more under)ground, the oni can rebuild it fastly, as it's been proven in the last thread. Besides, there's no better place to roast marshmallows than in the MOTHERFUCKING BLAZING NUCLEAR FIRES OF OLD HELL!
[X] Take her home, where everyone can keep an eye on her.

Some of you people are too dramatic. Home worked for Flandre, it'll work for her.
[x] Take her to the underground for a while
[X] Take her home, where everyone can keep an eye on her.

Meiling's the "Official Big Sis" of the SDM, let's act like it and take care of the obviously traumatized fairy.

On another completely unrelated note, Keymaster, "DyCirno Super Heroic Force" is a little long. Why not just go with "Dy Rangers" instead ? It's short, to the point and there's 5 of them, fitting with the theme.

A good point. The name has more to do with what Cirno would name her hero team.
[X] Take her home, where everyone can keep an eye on her.

I feel it's a controlled way of getting back to normal, leaving her alone might backfire.
Writing to relieve stress? What a wonderful ability to have as usually stress inhibits writing in most, not boosts it.

Well, I try to just have fun and not take things TOO seriously. I find my writing strategy makes this easier than it would for certain other types of stories.
Speaking of other stories, have you written anything else anywhere online? You're really good as fanfiction authors go and I'd like to read more.

Nope. This is the first time I've tried writing a story anywhere. Glad people like it, though.
I like the lighthearted nature of it. Too many stories here seem to try to out-grimdark each other, or go into extreme plot-mazes and weigh us down with impenetrable symbolism.

Frankly, I'd rather read about the shenanigans of a household of sexually-frustrated women.
I dunno about all that (not that it isn't partially true), but most don't have the easy going episodic nature like this one does.

Actually, no other author is doing, or has ever done an episodic comedy. It is truly my heartfelt wish that all the categories on this site will one day be full of "Being X" stories like this one.
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Agreed. This is the kind of story you can just go ahead and read/re-read just for fun and have fun in doing so.

You're doing good work Keymaster and we appreciate you sharing this with us.

I still think that Josef is a Joestar though...
well nothing with such short episodes as I,youkai had a couple of episodic sequel tales.
Okay, consensus seems to be taking the little firebug back home with us, so that's exactly what we'll be doing next update!
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WARNING: Brace for mid-story POV-switch


No, I can't leave her out here any longer. It's clear that this punishment was a little harder on her than anyone expected. Best to take her home where we can all keep an eye on her and help her through this. Besides, she's done more than enough to make up for the damage she's caused. I'm sure Yuuka will understand.

"Hey, little one?" I ask her, "Are you tired of being out here? Would you like to come back home to the mansion with me?"

The fairy swallows her marshmallow and looks up at me, wide-eyed. "Can I? Is it okay? Have I been a good girl?"

I chuckle and hug her tightly. "I think so. You've worked really hard, haven't you? I'm really proud of you. But there's a couple of rules you have to follow if you want to come back to the mansion."

"What're those, Meiling?" the fairy asks, listening attentively.

"First of all, you can't go around setting fire to things. If you want to roast marshmallows, then you have to get permission from me or Sakuya first. We'll help you set up a fireplace for you to roast them safely."

The fairy nods. "Okay! That sounds fair."

"Second, and you're not going to like this..." I look at the fairy seriously. "You have to eat fewer marshmallows." The fairy looks dismayed at this, but I press on. "I'm serious. If you have too many marshmallows, you'll spoil you appetite for them, and you don't want that to happen, do you?" She shakes her head hesitantly. "Of course not. And if you eat fewer marshmallows, it'll be all the more special when you do eat them. Alright?"

The little fairy sighs unhappily. "I guess so... if you say so. But I can still eat marshmallows sometimes, right?"

I chuckle and ruffle her hair. "Absolutely! But you know what they say: moderation in all things. It'll just make each marshmallow more special when you have it."

The fairy heaves a huge sigh but nods her head. "I guess so... okay, Meiling. I'll try to eat fewer marshmallows. Even though they're fluffy, and squishy, and sweet and puffy..." her eyes stare off into the distance and I think I see a trail of drool leaking from her mouth. I make a mental note: carefully regulate the marshmallow supplies. We have an addict here.

I clap my hands sharply to get her attention. "Great! So why don't I help you pack up, and you can come back with me to the mansion right away?" The fairy nods excitedly and hops up to begin packing away her things. As I douse the fire something occurs to me. "Hey, little one?" She looks back at me, expectant. I rub the back of my head in embarrassment. "Um, I kinda forget your name. What was it again?"

She giggles. "Meiling, you're so silly. My name's Malla! I named myself after marshmallows!"

Of course she did.

"And what kind of fairy are you again?" I ask, more curious than anything else.

She tilts her head at me. "A Mansion fairy, of course!"

I chuckle. "I mean before you came to the mansion."

"Oh!" She blushes a little bit. "I was a forest fairy!"

Huh. A forest fairy who sets forests on fire? Anyway, I help Malla pack her things and we head back to the mansion. I make sure to leave a note for Yuuka explaining what I had done. As soon as we set foot in the front door, Malla is immediately swarmed by cheering fairy maids, all thrilled to see her back. For her part, Malla laughs happily and tells them what she has been doing, and how hard she has been working. She even shares some of her marshmallows with her fellow maids.

It's all very heart-warming, but I can't shake from my mind the pure, pristine order that Malla had surrounded herself with. The empty smile she gave, and the fascinated way she had stared into the fire. There's something else going on here, and I intend to find out what lurks deep within her mind.

Sakuya walks up to me. "There's a happy reunion," she notes.

I shrug. "The house fairies are like family. It's like a reunion for a long-lost sister."

"I know." Sakuya looks at me. "You seem troubled. Did something happen?"

"I'll tell you later, in private," I murmur, "By the way, did you know what her name was?"

"Malla," Sakuya smiles, "The little dear named herself after marshmallows. I think we might have to watch her."

"Agreed." Of course Sakuya would know. "By the way, what kind of fairy is she? Malla said that she was a forest fairy, but that's a little vague..."

Sakuya shifts uncomfortably. "Well... Malla isn't very powerful, which is why she hasn't manifested any unique magical powers. However, when I saw her... pyromaniacal tendencies, I dug a little deeper into the matter and found out that Malla represents a natural process in forests. One which gets rid of old matter to make way for the new."

I look at Sakuya strangely. "Meaning?"

"Malla is a forest-fire fairy."



Meiling is so nice! I was so bored in the forest, but she came to see me and made sure that I was okay!

And she brought me a letter from my sisters! And she came to bring me home!

But best of all, she brought me MARSHMALLOWS!!!

I love marshmallows. They're the best! And she even roasted them with me! I knew Meiling would like roasted marshmallows! Because Meiling is a nice person, and nice people like roasted marshmallows! Therefore, someone who roasts marshmallows must be a nice person!

It's so obvious! If you take someone who isn't nice, and make them roast marshmallows, they become a good person! And a happy person! Because marshmallows make people happy!

Roasting marshmallows makes the world a better place!

I had to be careful in the forest. They were always watching me, those plants. And the scary plant-lady was really unhappy with me for roasting marshmallows. That's okay, though. I can make her happy later. So, I was a perfect little girl and did everything perfectly. And it worked! I'm back home!

Now I have to do a lot of work! I gotta get really good at using magic so I can roast whenever I want to. Oh sure, I'll be careful for now. But it's so obvious to me! I understand now, from being in the forest all that time, and seeing new trees grow where old ones used to be!

Fire gets rid of the old, and brings in the new!

Burn the old world, and let a new one grow in! A new world of marshmallows! Brought in by roasting marshmallow! Everywhere! And everyone!

Everyone roasting marshmallows and becoming good, happy, people!

Gotta be patient though. Patient like a fire, just waiting to roast those nice marshmallows. I'm not too strong, but I know something that'll make me strong. I just have to wait for my chance.

And then I'll make a better world. And all the mean people will become nice.

I will make them be nice.

So for now, smile! Smile! Hi sister! I missed you, sister! Wanna have a snack sister?

I know I'm just dying for a marshmallow.

Deep inside, so is everyone.


Isn't she cute? Next option!

[ ] The big date with Sakuya.
[ ] A pleasant day with Yuuka.
[ ] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
[ ] Checking up on the married couple.
[ ] Checking up on the Marshmallow fairy.
[ ] The DyCirno Super Heroic Force
[ ] Yukari maintains the peace.
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[X] Yukari maintains the peace.
I am VERY curious to see who Yukari's new squeeze is.

Also, I want to leave Yuuka and Sakuya to simmer first. Leave the best options for last, preferably after a good dose of DyCirno.
[ ] Yukari maintains the peace.
[ ] Checking up on the married couple.
>[ ] Checking up on the Marshmallow fairy.

Silly Keymaster, you forgot to remove this option. Unless the fairy is going to burn the place down not 5 minutes before getting back. Which is possible, I guess...

[X] Checking up on the married couple.

Now, to preemptively piss in the tide.
[ ] The big date with Sakuya.

Every time till it wins.

Yes. Yes. I did. Because I copy-pasted from an older file rather than type it all out again, and was so retarded that I forgot to erase that line.

I will now perform the ritual of shame of my people.
[x] Yukari maintains the peace.
Forest-fire fairy eh...that's brilliant!
[X] Yukari maintains the peace.
[X] Yukari maintains the peace.

Oh Malla you so crazy.
[x] Yukari maintains the peace.

I'm okay with this.
[X] Checking up on the married couple.
[x] Yukari maintains the peace.

This should be fun.
[x] Checking up on the married couple.
She sure got a perfect logic there.

It sure got quiet about the two of them? Maybe love finally found its way.
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[X] Yukari maintains the peace.
I am curious.
I think Mallow would get along with Futo, both having pyro tendencies
[x] A pleasant day with Yuuka.

I'll vote for this even if there's no real chance of it winning.
[X] Yukari maintains the peace.

I'm curious as to who she shacked up with.
[X] Yukari maintains the peace.
[X] Checking up on the married couple.
[X] Yukari maintains the peace.
All we're know bout her is due to what we hear and what we read.I like to see first-hand at what she been doing.
[x] Yukari maintains the peace.
Yukari needs to regain her pride or something.
[X] Yukari maintains the peace.
[X] Yukari maintains the peace.

As much as I am dieing for more Cirno (why isn't there any Cirno centered Quest ? WHY ?), your take on Yukari is one of the most interesting I've ever seen.
Gonna go ahead and call it for Yukari now. Update, as always, later today.
And I do believe we are all grateful for your delivering such consistent high quality so regularly.
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I wander through the human village, taking in the sights. It's pretty large for a village, really, and has a lot of little shops selling just about everything you could want. Not a surprise that so many youkai come here to spend their money. Or even sell their wares in a few cases, such as that night sparrow.

Of course, it's got nothing on the underground city. Who would've guessed that one of the major cultural centers of Gensokyo would be a city literally located in hell, run by a race of alcoholic bruisers? Of course, most youkai never go down there. It's a pity, too; past the alcohol, there's a lot there to keep your attention.

Still, the human village also has its charms. It's nice and peaceful here, and yet has just enough people that you can sit down and spend a day just person-watching. Ironic in a way, that the village of humanity is the cultural center of the surface of Gensokyo, a sanctuary for youkai.

As for me, I'm just enjoying a day off, wandering past the stalls, taking in the wares on display, and contemplating my romantic life. I should really do something about Sakuya and Yuuka. Fun as it is, it's just not fair to keep teasing them over and over again. They deserve some sort of resolution. I'm just in the middle of figuring out what that resolution should be.

In the meantime, I can tide them over with a skimpy swimsuit, can't I? As a token of my appreciation?

Lost in thought as I am, it takes me a moment to notice that I've wandered into a particularly quiet area of the village. That's... odd. There should usually be a lot of vendors open right about now, shouldn't there? So why does everything look so... deserted...


That's why.

It probably has to do with the three woman sitting at a shaded table outside of a cafe, with the owner occasionally peeking out, a nervous expression upon his face. I can't blame him, really.

Sitting at the table are Yukari Yakumo, Eirin Yagokoro, and Kanako Yasaka. Three of Gensokyo's heaviest hitters, all gathered in one place. That would be enough to make anybody give the place a wide berth; who wants to be near that much concentrated power? Any sane human would give the ladies a great deal of respectful distance. Most youkai, too, and fairies, and really anything with two brain cells to rub together.

The aura of sheer malice coming from that table is not helping matters either. As a matter of fact, it's like a bullhorn shouting 'DANGER, DANGER, KEEP AWAY FROM THE CRAZY OVERPOWERED FEMALES.'

Not that there is visibly anything wrong, of course. Yukari has a pleasant smile upon her face. Eirin is smiling beneficently. Kanako lounges in her chair with an easygoing smirk on her face. You'd have to be blind not to see past it, however. How Kanako lounges more like a serpent ready to strike, her eyes boring into Eirin's impassive face. How Eirin is tense and rigid, fingers digging subtle furrows into the table. The air practically crackles between the two women, hostility so thick it can nearly be cut into chunks with a knife.

Yukari... looks tired, and a little exasperated. She's not trying to hide it all that much. Neither of the other two seem to notice, or perhaps care.

It's like watching a train wreck. Horrible to see, and yet one cannot look away.

Yukari speaks up with forced cheer. "Now, let's try again. I'm sure you can both agree that this is really nothing to get worked up over-"

"Absolutely," Eirin says smoothly, "Nothing whatsoever. No wrong was done, whatever a handful of youkai say to the contrary."

Kanako chuckles in a way that makes my hair stand on end. "It's nothing at all. Simply a misunderstanding on your part. With a simple apology, we can pretend this never happened." Yukari visibly slumps in her chair.

"An apology?" Eirin repeats, "Whatever for? A simple individual taking a simple stroll, when simple fools decide to take umbrage over an inconsequential incident?"

"Indeed, one that violates well-established territorial boundaries," Kanako notes, "After all, how would you feel if someone started blundering through the bamboo forest?"

"I'd certainly be more understanding than your followers." It goes on like that, with both Eirin and Kanako calmly tearing into each other over cups of tea. The smiles have knives within them. The words are loaded with hidden threats. The very air crackles with malicious intent. And Yukari is rubbing her temples like she has a headache.

After a moment, Yukari starts looking around, as if for some means of escape, when she notices me gaping at the exchange and brightens up a little bit. Her body slips into a tear in reality and-

"Hello, Meiling."

I turn to the gap youkai who has just materialized next to me. "Um, hey. So... should I be worried about that, or-"

"No," Yukari sighs and shakes her head, "It's perfectly safe here. That's why I decided to have this conference here. Neither Eirin nor Kanako will raise a fist against the other here in the village. It's perfect neutral ground. Besides, the worry of the villagers is nourishing the youkai as we speak. No, it's perfectly safe. Just... annoying." Yukari sounds exasperated.

I look at the two women verbally berating each other with perfect politeness. "What the hell is going on?" I wonder out loud.

"Gensokyo, behind the scenes," Yukari says bitterly. "Think Reimu has it rough, maintaining balance between human and youkai? Try maintaining the balance between different youkai. And gods. And whatever the hell else manages to fall into Gensokyo."

I watch the bickering goddess and lunarian. "Details?"

"Okay, look at it this way," Yukari starts to gesture with her hands. "Before Gensokyo, the youkai were individual, powerful, and fairly scattered for the most part, right? Then the barrier goes up, and you suddenly have a number of powerful, willful beings all confined in a fairly small area, virtually rubbing shoulders. None of them willing to give an inch. Imagine the conflicts of personality that results in such a situation."

I shudder. "Youch. Sounds bad."

"Yeah," Yukari grumbles, "Humanity seems to regard us as an organized synicate of monsters, all marching in lockstep to terrorize them. It's more like a bunch of squabbling schoolchildren who occasionally go spook a human for lunch. And SOMEONE has to keep it all together lest some youkai, or gods, or whatever, lose patience and start a war. Then everything breaks down." She sighs. "It's harder than it looks."

"So your main job is playing diplomat between powerful youkai?" Yukari nods dismally. "That sucks," I say sympathetically.

Yukari nods unhappily. "I wanna go play with my honey-dear," Yukari sighs, "But then THOSE TWO decided that they couldn't settle things like adults, and now I have to mediate."

"What happened?" I ask, watching the two powerful women insult each other with warm smiles on their faces. "What calamity happened to make them be like... this?"

Yukari shakes her head. "Basically, Reisen was gathering some rare herbs on Youkai Mountain. She accidentally slipped into the tengu's boundaries and got run off by an armed patrol. Eirin was angry that this happened over something so small, and the tengu were incensed that their borders were violated. Eirin was irritated over the whole thing and wanted to make a bigger issue of it, and the tengu weren't sure they wanted to go up against her. So, they turned to Kanako to resolve the issue for them, so it's suddenly a shouting match between the two of them."

"...Over some herbs?" I clarify.

"Yep," says Yukari.

"They're ready to rip into each other over a couple of HERBS?" I ask again, incredulous.

"It's a matter of pride, now," Yukari explains. "It would look bad for Eirin if her followers were sent running by an over-zealous patrol, and Kanako can't afford to look weak in front of her followers. So it's getting blown out of proportion and these two are damn near ready to get into a fistfight over it."

"What about a spell-card duel?" I ask, "Isn't that what the rules exist for in the first place?"

"You'd think so," Yukari grunts, "But Kanako and Eirin are at about the same level when it comes to danmaku. Both are afraid of losing a battle, and thus losing face, so it's turned into a battle of wills with a number of youkai falling in on one side or another. Old beings finding an excuse to support one or another in order to sate old grudges."

I shiver. "That sounds... dangerous."

Yukari groans. "It's just another day behind the scenes here in Gensokyo. I have them talking. Sooner or later they'll get tired of the veiled threats and I'll be able to get them to get along again. It's just a matter of chaperoning the two twits until that happens." Yukari moans again and rests her head on my shoulder. "Meiling? Help me through this. While those two verbally wear themselves out, ask me something, anything. Just absolutely anything to take my mind off of this nonsense for a little while longer."

I think about it. I remember that Yukari has a significant other, her 'honey-dear' as she calls them. Maybe asking her about that would cheer her up? It certainly has nothing to do with my curiosity on the matter. Not at all. No sir. I open my mouth to ask:



Good news, voters! Because I'm so darn flexible on the matter, I'm putting Yukari's fate in your hands! What kind of person do you want the gap youkai to be dating? Here are a few suggestions. Let your imagination run wild, and let's have some fun with this.

[ ] Tokiko. She has a thing for leading Yukari around on a leash. Yukari thinks it's cute.
[ ] Shinki. They both have a hell of a time managing their respective realms.
[ ] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.
[ ] Rinnosuke. You wouldn't believe what he has hidden in his shop...
[ ] Write-in. Submissions will be evaluated based on hilarity and d'aawwww value.

It's all in good fun, folks.
[x] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.

He is perfect for her:

Keeps himself out of troubles.
Knows what is going on in Gensokyo.
He can use that insight to help Yukari out in times of troubles, which she needs to keep up that appearance of power and respect.
He has that certain attitude that is a clear opposite to hers which would works good together.
[ ] Tokiko. She has a thing for leading Yukari around on a leash. Yukari thinks it's cute.

This sounds disgustingly adorable.
[x] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.

Yukari should hire Keine as an aide. She would scold those two squabbling overgrow 5 years olds straight.
Hmmm...there are several very good options available.

Hina, Yuuka, Flandre, Sariel, Lily Black, and the Imperishable Night Extra stage Doom Fairy all seem like good candidates.

[x]Lily Black.
[x] ZUN.

Maximum hilarity.
So, I was going to use an RNG to pick one 2hu from the 100+ for the fuck of it, but the result came out (three times in a row, no less) as:

[ ] Meiling Hong. You love Yukari, you just don't know it yet.

Instead, I'll go with:

[X] Tokiko. She has a thing for leading Yukari around on a leash. Yukari thinks it's cute.

Because we don't see much Tokiko here on THP.
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All of my yes.
[x] ZUN

In-universe "ruler" of Gensokyo meets actual creator of Gensokyo. This can only go well.
[ ] Shinki. They both have a hell of a time managing their respective realms.

Because. It makes me laugh. One's something out of nightmares, the other is the ruler of the demon realm. This ought to be good. Plus, we might see more PC-98 characters.
[x] ZUN

I cant pass up this chance.
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Also. Perfect maids being Perfect.
Because I want to see her
[X] Suika
[X] Shinki. They both have a hell of a time managing their respective realms.
[x] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.
[x] ZUN

Sorry, but he's the best choice for her all around.
[x] Keymaster

he did say anyone and if that won't work

[X] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.
[x] Shinki! A thousand times Shinki.

If not just because I want Mima to show up, and I think it'd drive Alice up a wall.

Incidentally, more more stories need Mima in it.
[x] Shinki

You know what, fuck let's go for it.

[x] ZUN, baby!
[x] ZUN


Aight, let's do this. Bring on the weirdness.

I'm sorry.

I am so, so sorry.

But I don't think I can pull that one off. Um, any second choices?
[x] Tokiko

Shinki option...Keymaster you are a cruel person to make us choose.
[X] Shinki

. . . That hurts me man, really does.

I guess I'll go with

[x] Rinnosuke.

Because why not.

[x] Rinnosuke.

Second best it is.
[X] Rinnosuke

Yukari visits him often enough, so I guess it makes some sense.
[X] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.

You couldn't make up your mind yourself? I mean leaving it up to anon isn't the brightest idea with yuri choices.
[J] ZU-awwwwww.
[J]... Junya Ota?

Okay, serious vote. (So very tempted to vote for Malla.)

[X] Shinki.

Oh well, if that don't work go with this.
[X] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.
[x] Rinnosuke.
[X] ZU- nuts

[X] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.
[x] Shinki. They both have a hell of a time managing their respective realms.

This is just too good.
No ZUN huh? Fair enough. Was never all that fond of seeing him mentioned in stories anyway.

[X] Tokiko. She has a thing for leading Yukari around on a leash. Yukari thinks it's cute.
I think having a vote spam check would be a good idea.

Makes sense in the "leaders unite" kind of way.

And while Albrecht would be funny, his whole character is based around not letting the women get their claws (literally!) into him. This would ruin his entire setup.
[X] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.
[nanosuit]MAXIMUM IRONY[/nanosuit] after he basically made us deal with her last time.
[x]Shinki. They both have a hell of a time managing their respective realms.

This idea pleases me greatly.
[ ] Youki
...Nah, that's never going to win. Let's go with
[X] Shinki
[X] Shinki

Because watching how Alice reacts to Yukari dating her mother Will Be Hilarious.
[x] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.
[JK] Evil Eye Sigma

Those eyes in her gaps have to come from somewhere.


[X] Shinki. They both have a hell of a time managing their respective realms.

Meeting PC-98 characters. Embarrassing Alice. What are we waiting for?
Well that'd have the best of both worlds.

I wonder if Yukari won't end up going that route perhaps.

I retract my Tokiko vote and replace it with this. Sigma was a bro in Pedagogic. Time for a revival.
Vote alteration: [x]Evil-eye Sigma
[x] Sigma

aww. I was really looking forward to that.

[x] Maribel Hearn

I doubt it'll win but I'd like to this.
You might cause a reroute of the yuri train. Though I'm disapointed in the way things are going. It's bad enough the stuff with Meiling gets certain people going.
[x] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.

They just fit. He was the very first one that stood to her. He still isn't intimidated by her (not a single bit) and that goes perfectly with her change of heart. Maybe he saw in her something new when she stopped acting like a brat?
As for her, she always liked him, but maybe she realized now that it was more intense than just a need for a one-night-stand. Besides between him keeping an ear out in the human village and her keeping Youkai at bay peace would be guaranteed.

Also, as love stories go, 'Í met her, shot her, called her a drunk mess and then married her' is hilarious.
Tch. In that case I'll go for

[x] Maribel Hearn

For extra weirdness action, and because Merry is cute on her own.
"Daddy, how did you meet mommy?"
"Well, she kidnapped me and then I shot her in the foot."
You know that isn't going to win right? Last time I checked Shinki was the lead with Albrecht in second place. This is unlikely to change barring a sudden shift in votes but that's unlikely.
[x] Maribel Hearn

For maximum hilarity.
The most important thing about tidepissing is to never give up, no matter what the odds are! Who knows, maybe other people will see your efforts and decide to join their streams of piss to your own, and push the tidal wave back... And this got weird all of a sudden.
[X] Shinki. They both have a hell of a time managing their respective realms.
[X] Patchouli
[x] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.
Would have voted for either this or Shinki, but I like Albrecht's CYOA protagonist feel.
[x] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.
It makes the most sense out of all the options.
[X] Shinki. They both have a hell of a time managing their respective realms.
[x] Albrecht. Yukari finally landed him.

Wiseman, stop telling people how to vote. You're ruining the fun.
[X] Shinki.
For Alice and Koa shenanigans
[X] Shinki.
If I cant have Zun, I guess she's the next best.
[x] Shinki.

Shinki's cool. We could use more Shinki.
[x]Lily Black.
(X) Genji
[X] Meling's son pulled from the future with gaphax.

Pretty commanding win for Shinki.

Sorry I couldn't write ZUN. I tried to think about how I'd do it... and I just couldn't pull it off.

Still, some of the write-ins were terrible amusing. Maribel, possibly with some Rensko on the side. Lily Black. Genji. Hehm

Anyway, update later today. Might be a bit later than normal, we'll see.
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"So... I hear from Reimu that you're dating someone now, but she didn't know who it was. Care to give out any details?"

Yukari perks up immediately and gives a girlish giggle. "Oh, you mean my sweetheart-dearest?"

"I thought it was honey-dearest?" I quip.

"The term varies," Yukari says smoothly, "But yes! I got myself a 'special friend!' Feel free to congratulate me!"

"Congratulations!" I laugh, "So, uh, care to give me any details?"

Yukari gets a dreamy look on her face. "Well, I was feeling bad about life in general, and kinda put-upon. I mean, my job is rough, Reimu went off to play with Remilia, you turned me down, and of course that ice fairy embarrassed me in front of Ran." Yukari sighs. "So... I sort of went on a bender."

"You what." I blink.

"I got very, very drunk to drown my sorrows," Yukari says simply. "I don't know what all I did, but I woke up in a bedroom in Makai being nursed back to health by an old friend of mine."

"Makai?" I remark, interested, "I know someone from Makai."

"Yes, Koakuma, wasn't it? Well, what apparently happened is that I was sulking in a bar in Makai, the bartender got worried due to my reputation, and sent a message up the line that eventually arrived at the ruler of the whole realm. Shinki, goddess of Makai." Yukari smiles gently. "Anyway, rather than simply toss me out, Shinki sat down and heard my tale of woe. She just listened, you know? And realizing that I was in no shape to be left by myself, she took me home and let me sleep in her bed."

I think I'm starting to blush at the implication. "And... you two..."

"Oh, nonono," Yukari laughs, waving her hands in negation, "Shinki's too much of a sweetheart to take advantage of another woman like that. Not that she had such an intention in the first place. No, she simply let me sleep in her bed while she took a spare. Then she helped nurse me through my crippling hangover and we, well, talked. About anything and everything." Yukari has a blissful smile upon her face. "Do you have any idea how good it feels to have someone who UNDERSTANDS, Meiling? Shinki has many of the same problems that I do; trying to keep peace in a realm full of rowdy, excitable beings with a little too much power on their side."

"Different planets, same world, huh?" I ask, feeling a little amused.

"Pretty much," Yukari agrees, "Right down to the sarcastic assistant. Anyway, we talked... and talked some more, then looked around Makai, and talked some more. Then, well... one thing led to another, you know?" Yukari blushes and actually squeals a little bit. "Funny story. You know how succubi are native to Makai, right? So, their creator had to have had some knowledge of the pertinent subject matter, right?" Yukari gets a big, goofy grin on her face. "Let's just say that Shinki is, in fact, a very knowledgeable woman."

I think about Koakuma, and how seductive she can get when she really pours it on. I think about how much knowledge she has about the body and its responses. I think about the woman who would have taught her what she knows in the first place. "I take it you had a lovely evening, then?"

"You would NOT believe what that woman is capable of," Yukari breathes, "I had no idea those nerve clusters even existed! I think she really enjoyed vamping it up, too. And you know what she did afterward?" Yukari looks at me, smiling. "She made a home-cooked dinner for two! Isn't that romantic!"

"So, understands you, crazy good sex, and a homemaker too?" I smirk. "Sounds like everyone's dream-girl."

"Yeah, she's great," Yukari agrees, "We've been seeing each other ever since, and it makes my job a whole lot more tolerable-"

Yukari is interrupted as the discussion between Eirin and Kanako escalates, their voices becoming louder and the veneer of politeness lost.

"-Because I know that at least each new crisis will end. Eventually." She sighs.

I frown a little bit. "I don't get it. You're one of the most powerful beings in Gensokyo. Can't you just tell them to smarten up or you'll bust their heads?"

Yukari snorts. "If only. But one of the secrets of power politics is that an obvious display of power is actually a display of weakness. If I tried to force things I'd only undercut myself."

I glance at Yukari. "Hey, how strong are you, anyway? I mean, you really underplayed yourself at the bar that one time, but I really can't see you as being weak..."

"Well, I'm not WEAK," Yukari retorts, "Just not all-powerful. I have a lot of magical ability at my fingertips. Ran's a mighty kitsune, and even she calls me master. I was just referring to my personal ability: boundary manipulation. It lets me do a lot. But the more I try to do, the more it drains me, and the more backlash I get from a reality that doesn't like being tampered with. Travel trough gaps, especially in a place as small as Gensokyo? No problem. Long-distance travel? Tiring. There's limits to what I can do with it, is all. It doesn't stop me from being pretty damned powerful on my own merit." She sighs wearily. "Which means nothing when maintaining Gensokyo depends on some pretty delicate negotiations."

I nod in understanding. "I gotcha. Sort of like how everyone thought I was weak for the longest time because I couldn't wrap my head around the spellcard system."

"Sort of. But you seem to have gotten around that, dearie."

"I did, it just took a while," I agree. Eirin and Kanako are standing up now, and openly throwing insults at each other. It's terrifying... and more than a little bit embarrassing. It's like watching children bicker. Children with terrifying magical power at their disposal. "So this is Gensokyo behind the scenes, huh?"

"Welcome to politics in general," Yukari mutters, "The great and powerful flinging insults at each other while those around them groan with embarrassment." She watches the two bicker for a little while longer, then shakes her head in frustration. "You know what? No. I've been running around putting out brush-fires all weak. I wanna go cuddle with Shinki. I'm out of patience, and I'm putting a stop to this. Right now." She glances over at me. "You work for a vampire. Remilia must have done political stuff all the time. How do you think I should deal with this?"

[ ] Oh, just stick to your original plan. Let them wear themselves out, then talk them down.
[ ] Eh, better break it up. Get in there and get diplomatic.
[ ] This is embarrassing. If they're gonna act like children, give'em a spanking. With danmaku.
[x] Eh, better break it up. Get in there and get diplomatic.

Meiling is up to that diplomatic job.
[ ] Eh, better break it up. Get in there and get diplomatic.

If it's a matter of pride, then they can both apologize and lose equal amounts of face, thus staying in equity against each other. Kanako looks strong for having forced an apology, and Eirin gets to look like she strongarmed the mighty goddess into apologizing.
[x] Eh, better break it up. Get in there and get diplomatic.

Diplomacy works well in this story. Got Marisa off our backs, after all.
A large part of that was a threatening her.
[X] This is embarrassing. If they're gonna act like children, give'em a spanking. With danmaku.

Because Yukari needs to get back to her honey-dearest.
[ ] Eh, better break it up. Get in there and get diplomatic.

Why. I think its best if Alice were to visit her dear mother again. She must simply meet the new member of the family. Meiling and Koakuma can chaperone.
... I'm tempted to come in, as an "uninvolved third party", and challenge them <i>both</i> to a duel, with the conditions being "let me bloody shop in peace!"

I mean, sure, we'll probably lose (though I'm sure we could get away with challenging them one at a time), but it'll not only embarrass them for having their dirty laundry aired, as it were, it'll hopefully also tire them out enough for them to skip straight to the "screw it, let's get this over with so I can go home" stage.
[x] Oh, just stick to your original plan. Let them wear themselves out, then talk them down.
[x] Eh, better break it up. Get in there and get diplomatic.
That's crazy enough to work...

[x] Challenge them to a spell card duel yourself as an uninvolved(with power politics)party with the terms being it cut it out. You will probably lose, but this will give them both an excuse to let off steam without the risk of bruising egos.Yukari can then finish off the diplomacy when they're calmer.
-[x] If you can use those full-action rules from that weather incident, gives you more of an edge and the more challenge you put up the better.
Thing is I think Yukari went and ran off already leaving Meiling to do things.
Guys. Guys- brilliant plan.

Let's pull a Cirno.

[x] Eh, better break it up. Get in there and get diplomatic.

And if /that/ doesn't work

[x] Fine. We'll fight it out.
-[x] Two on two drinking contest
-[x] Choose your second: Hoshiguma Yuugi
[x] Eh, better break it up. Get in there and continue diplomacy by other means.
>"I'm out of patience, and I'm putting a stop to this. Right now."
And the last sentence is her asking a question, which we are now answering. Either pay attention or stop trying to explain things.

Annoyed third parties can solve ANYTHING.
[x] Eh, better break it up. Get in there and get diplomatic.
"Is this REALLY how you two want others to see you as? And here I thought you were the one who had class. You're bickering like Hijiri and Toyosatomimi."
in before it turns out those two get along well in this Gensokyo. (and in before some smartass corrects me)
[x] Challenge them to a spell card duel yourself as an uninvolved(with power politics)party with the terms being it cut it out. You will probably lose, but this will give them both an excuse to let off steam without the risk of bruising egos.Yukari can then finish off the diplomacy when they're calmer.
-[x] If you can use those full-action rules from that weather incident, gives you more of an edge and the more challenge you put up the better.
[x] "Is this REALLY how you two want others to see you as? And here I thought you were the one who had class. You're bickering like Hijiri and Toyosatomimi."

Though to be fair, Miko was the one always starting it.
>They are actually seeing each other.
>Their bickering is more or less just lover's spats.
Sounds like something Keymaster might do. He always does aim for [nanosuit]MAXIMUM D'AWWW[/nanosuit]
[x] >>56997

Maybe we can all drink and be merry afterwards.
[X] Get them drunk. Get them smashed dead drunk. Then leave them in bed together after they pass out.
[O] Get them drunk. Get them smashed dead drunk. Then leave them in bed together after they pass out.
[x]drinking contest.

Yay for Gensokyo:Behind The Scene On Alcohol
Okay, gonna call it for breaking up the argument in the most diplomatic way possible.

Some amusing write-ins this time. Gonna see if I can make use of a couple of them.
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I glance at the superpowered argument and snort. "Well, I could take one for the team and challenge them to a spellcard duel for disturbing the peace. When they finish whomping me, they'll probably be calm enough to listen to reason."

Yukari looks thoughtful. "Oh, I like that. Direct their anger on someone else, then come in as the voice of reconciliation!"

I stare at her in horror. "Yukari. I was joking. Stop taking me seriously."

Yukari giggles merrily. "Oh, I know, dear! But your face was just absolutely priceless. Now, any other ideas? Or should I just suffer through it?"

I sigh. "Well... Might as well break them up. Politely. It'll only get worse if they do actually come to blows."

Yukari nods wearily. "I suppose you're right."

"Maybe... I dunno, try getting them drunk or something? Some alcohol might get them to blow off steam." I ponder it for a moment. "Or destroy the village. You know them better than me."

Yukari looks thoughtful. "No, they aren't angry drunks... your suggestion has some merit. Hang on, let me get diplomatic here." Squaring her shoulders, Yukari walks into the cafe and talks quietly with the extremely nervous-looking proprietor. A few minutes later, and Yukari has walked back to the table with a large bottle of booze in each hand.

"Now, now, ladies," Yukari lightly chides them while pouring a couple of drinks, "Such hostility! Why don't we just have a drink and settle down, hm?" Kanako and Eirin barely acknowledge her, merely downing their drinks in one go while continuing to angrily berate one another. It's a mercy that no one's around to hear this, really. It would be worse for their reputations than anything else.

As Yukari carefully refills each of their glasses, she flashes the label at me. I don't recognize the brand, but I do get the impression that Yukari has just slipped the two women some very high-strength alcohol.

This could either go very badly, or very nicely. I guess it all depends on how the two women handle their alcohol. The images in my mind range from a drunken super-powered brawl, to drunken tears and making up. Both are hilarious and horrifying in equal measure.

The final result is actually something of an anticlimax, really. After four or five glasses apiece, Kanako and Eirin glare at each other unsteadily, visibly wobbling in their chairs. Kanako stares at Eirin, then down at her glass, and then finally at Yukari. "You bitch," she mutters.

Yukari just smiles back innocently.

Eirin raises a hand to her forehead, finding it on the second go, and rubs her temples wearily. "Yukari..." she sighs, "You know I don't like hangovers. Did you really have to do that?"

Yukari raises an eyebrow. "My, but Eirin! I'm sure that you have some sort of medicine to help you treat hangovers!"

"I do, but there's still a few moments of pain until it kicks in," Eirin grumbles back.

"You deliberately got us drunk," Kanako says flatly. "You got us drunk in the middle of a populated village while we were visibly angry at each other. I find it hard to believe that you didn't realize just how badly THAT could have gone."

Yukari waves a hand dismissively. "Oh, pish posh. Neither of you are angry drunks. At worst you would have passed out cursing each other's name, and I'd have had to drag you both back home."

"And if you were wrong?" Eirin queries.

"Then I would have gapped you both into the air and let you fight it out," Yukari says with a shrug. "Would have been exciting for everyone, I'm sure! People coming from far and wide to spectate, bets being formed over the sight... Hm, maybe I could have charged royalties for setting it up..." Yukari muses over the last. Eirin and Kanako groan.

Shaking her head, Yukari claps her hands together merrily. "Well, never mind all that! Despite your objections, this little episode has accomplished two objectives! One, it's wiped the fake smiles off your faces so we can at last get to the heart of the matter! Second, the two of you are now so drunk that you can't muster the anger to continue bickering, so we can arrive at a settlement!"

Kanako straightens as much as she can, given her state. "We were NOT bickering," she protests.

Yukari rolls her eyes. "Oh, you were bickering like you were Hijiri and Toyosatomimi."

"We were NOT!" Eirin sputters, outraged.

"We have more class than that," Kanako puts in, equally offended.

"Apparently not, from what I've seen," Yukari sighs. "I invite you two here to have a peaceful conversation on neutral ground and you wind up scaring off all of the villagers. Word of this is going to get around, you know. Is this really how you want people to view you?" Eirin and Kanako look away. "Thought not. Here you are, bickering like schoolgirls, and over what?" Yukari throws her hands up. "A little rabbit goes wandering through the forest, accidentally stumbles over someone's property line, and an overzealous patrol has a fit. Everyone knows that's all that it is. Even your respective followers feel it's all overblown. So show some leadership here, and act like adults!"

Eirin and Kanako glower in silence for a moment. "...Fine," Kanako finally mutters, "I admit that this whole thing got blown out of proportion. But what do you expect us to do?"

"There's out respective positions to consider," Eirin agrees, "Neither of us can look like we just backed down."

"Of course. Reputation." Yukari rolls her eyes. "Easy. Kanko, just give a token apology. It'll look like you're blowing this whole thing off as unimportant- which it is- and Eirin gets to look like she forced an apology out of you. Depending on who hears about it, either possibility could seem to be the true, or most likely people just won't care. Boom, done. Satisfied?"

The goddess and lunarian hesitate for a moment, then nod their assent. Yukari sighs in relief. "Good. Because I have things I'd rather be doing right now. Since we're in agreement, I'll gap you over to Mayohiga. Tell Ran I sent you, and have a nice drink while you work out the details. Make up and be friends again! See you later!" Yukari snaps her fingers.



With surprised yelps, Kanako and Eirin both vanish into gaps, and Yukari slumps in her chair, visibly relieved. "Thank god THAT'S done," she sighs.

I walk over, amused. "I thought you disliked strong-arming people?"

She shrugs. "The deal was made, and they needed a reminder that I still have some tricks up my sleeve."

"And you're dumping them on Ran now?"

"That's what assistants are for!" Yukari quips, and she smiles at me. "Thanks for the idea, by the way. Did Remilia do that often?"

I shrug. "Old trick. Get people drunk, and they'll agree to just about anything. Then they'll make up a justification for it afterward to save face. I liked your idea to have them drink and make afterward, though."

"It's Gensokyo. It's how we always make up around here." Yukari stands up and stretches. "And now, with that unpleasantness out of the way, I'm going to see my lovey and give her SUCH a kiss!"

I grin. "For starters, I assume?"

Yukari winks at me. "That's a secret~!" With a flicker, Yukari has disappeared into one of her gaps, leaving me alone on the street.

I shake my head. And I thought my issues were complicated. I'll take Sakuya and Yuuka over Gensokyan politics any day of the week. Even Flandre at her worst was less stressful than that! Turning down the street, I go back to my shopping as pedestrians finally emerge from hiding.

Hmm. Maybe a sling-bikini...?


A glimpse of Yukari's life. Anyway! Next choice!

[ ] The big date with Sakuya.
[ ] A pleasant day with Yuuka.
[ ] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
[ ] Checking up on the married couple.
[ ] The DyCirno Super Heroic Force
[X] A pleasant day with Yuuka.
[X] A pleasant day with Yuuka.
[x] A pleasant day with Yuuka and Sakuya.

Why aim for one when you can have both?
[ ] Checking up on the married couple.
[ ] Checking up on the married couple.

They should have kids by now. I mean it's been what, a month?
[X] Checking up on the married couple.

Meiling Hong, gate guard by day, marriage counselor by night.
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[X] Checking up on the married couple.

Unless any other options show up for this arc I suggest we do:
>Recapturing the rogue tengu.
>The DyCirno Super Heroic Force
>A pleasant day with Yuuka.
>The big date with Sakuya.
In that order.

In before Keymaster gives us the infamous choice:
[ ] Kiss Sakuya
[ ] Don't Kiss Sakuya
I like your thinking.
[x] Check in on the married couple.
[x] Recapturing the rogue tengu.

Tide pissing for great justice
[x] Checking up on the married couple.
[X] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
[ ] Checking up on the married couple.
[x] Checking up on the married couple.
[x] A pleasant day with Yuuka.

She asked to come over to visit.. a month ago. Oh well.
[X] A pleasant day with Yuuka.

Because this story's Yuuka is just adorable.
[x] A pleasant day with Yuuka.
[X] Checking up on the married couple.
Mainly because I want to see what Alice thinks of that whole situation.
[ ] A pleasant day with Yuuka.

How long she been asking for it anyway.
[x] Checking up on the married couple.

I think I said it before, but we've spent like three or four threads without hearing about Marisa and Pameel at all. I'm seriously starting to worry about them.
[x] A pleasant day with Yuuka.

Yuuka! We need more Yuuka.
Okay, gonna call it for checking up on our lovely married couple. How has Marisa been doing with her new wifey?
File 136760705757.png - (725.26KB, 595x842, married woman.png) [iqdb]
I stretch my arms and yawn, gazing up at the cloudy sky. Looks like rain today. Wonderful. Guarding the gate during a rainstorm is absolutely no fun at all. I should really build a little booth for myself outside the gate. One with a nice chair, and wide windows so I can look in all directions in the comfort of the booth. And... air conditioning for the summer, and a heater for the winter. With a mini-fridge for snacks, and a small bookshelf for when I get bored.

And maybe some flame-throwers for dealing with particularly pesky intruders. Not that Marisa has come by anytime soon.

Eh, it's pointless to think about it. Remilia would never permit me to build something that would ruin the image of her mansion. So, the best I can do is pull out a broad umbrella for when the rain starts coming down.

...Speaking of Marisa, I really haven't seen much of her lately. It used to be that every so often I'd see her being pursued by Pameel across the sky, but even that hasn't happened of late. I really hope that nothing has happened to the two of them.

Come to think of it, Marisa practices alchemy, right? She... wouldn't put together some kind of concoction to get Pameel off her back, would she? No, no, Marisa would never deliberately poison anyone, not even a fairy who would respawn from it.

But an accidental poisoning...?

Okay, NOW I'm a little worried. It has been way too long since I saw either Marisa or Pameel, and I'm starting to wonder what those two are up to. I really hope that nothing bad has happened.

...Did one of them somehow get pregnant?


I'm going to Marisa's house, pronto.

After leaving a few fairies in charge of the gate, I take to the skies and head for the Forest of Magic. Images keep running through my head of Marisa slipping Pameel a sleeping potion, only for the fairy to perish from a mistake in preparation. Images of an accidental pregnancy, with Marisa keeping the whole thing under wraps out of embarrassment. What is going on with the two of them, anyway?!

After a while, I set down in front of Marisa's house and head for the front door. Then I slowly come to a halt and stare. The place has... changed.

Marisa's house used to be fairly unkempt. Lived-in by a witch who really didn't care what her surroundings were like so long as they were clean enough for her to walk through. Now, though, the place looks sort of... tidy. The house has a new coat of paint, the windows are washed, the grass surrounding it has been trimmed... there are even a few flowerbeds around the house. It looks downright... homey.

Okay. Now I KNOW that there's something strange going on here. Shaking my head, I walk up to the front door and prepare to knock when I notice what appears to be a doorbell button. Huh. Shrugging, I press it and a cheery little jingle can be heard playing inside the house.

This is beyond abnormal, now. Did Marisa get abducted by pod-people or something?

After a few minutes, the door opens, and Marisa peers out. Her eyes narrow when she sees me. "Oh. Meiling. Hi." There's a weary form of irritation in her face.

Okay, rule out the pod-person theory. She's way too expressive. And on another note, Marisa is very well-dressed. It's definitely the same type of clothing Marisa usually wears, but carefully cleaned, pressed, and stitched. I think I see some embroidery done, too. It's much more than one would normally expect to see from the witch. Normally, to Marisa, clothes are just there.

"Hi Marisa," I greet her, "So, um... new clothes? And it looks like you really cleaned this place up."

Marisa rolls her eyes. "Gee, I wonder why that could be?"

Before I can inquire further, I familiar voice trills out from further inside the house. "Darling~, who's at the door?" A familiar green-haired head pops around Marisa'a shoulder. Pameel, dressed in a frilly blue dress, smiles happily at me. "Oh, Meiling! Welcome, welcome to our home! Please come in for tea!" The excited fairy hauls on my hands and energetically drags me into the house. I hear Marisa groan as I do so.

The house looks... different than I expected. I had heard that Marisa lived in a barely-habitable clutter of books, reagents, and various odds-and-ends that she had 'borrowed' from one end of Gensokyo to another. This looks much more neat and organized. Wooden shelves carefully organize a dizzying array objects, and everything has been polished until it sparkles. Herbs give the place a homey scent, and there's clearly new wallpaper over everything. Also, pink drapes.

As Pameel leads me along, I peek through a few doors. Bathroom: spotless. Some sort of library, with books piled high on bookcases. Is that a workshop? It's surprisingly organized. Actually, the whole hose is very organized, not at all like Marisa. I have a suspicion as to why this is the case.

The smiling Pameel leads me into the kitchen. "You're just in time! I'd just put on a pot of tea for darling and me!" She giggles at the small rhyme, and Marisa sighs. I sit down at the kitchen table with Marisa sitting across from me. Pam brings over a pot of tea (brand-new) and three cups (also brand-new), and pours for us. Then she scoots right next to Marisa and hugs her tightly, resting her beaming face on the witch's shoulder.

"Pam?" says Marisa, "It's gonna be hard to drink my tea like this."

"I can put the cup to your mouth if you want!" Pameel quickly offers.

"...No thanks." Shaking her head, Marisa frees her lower arm enough to lift the mug to her lips.

Pameel just giggles in delight. "Ah, my Darling is so shy! It's just so cute!" Pam nuzzles Marisa happily before having a sip of her own tea. Marisa herself glares daggers at me. Flaming daggers of death. I smile back innocently.

"So, how's married life treating you two?" I ask, amused at the sight of Pameel cuddling the glowering Marisa.

"Take a wild friggin' guess," growls the witch.

"It's FANTASTIC!" Pameel squeals, "I get to look after my Darling, and pretty the whole place up!"

"She cleaned EVERYTHING." Marisa tells me.

"Oh, I had to!" Pam insists. "Everything was just so dusty, and you couldn't find a thing!"

"I was my dust, and I knew where everything was," Marisa grumbles.

"Aw, Darling, I didn't want you to get sick! So, I cleaned stuff. Everything, in fact! Then I cleaned up outside, and painted the house, and gathered wildflowers, and mowed..."

"You did all of that?" I ask.

"Of course!" Pameel exclaims. "My Darling Marisa is always so busy studying, or making potions, or investigating the latest incident... I make sure she always has a happy home to come back to! And I'm always there waiting for her!" She slides a tin of cookies over to Marisa, who absentmindedly taked one, before offering them to me.

"Yep. She's ALWAYS waiting for me," Marisa agrees glumly. "And she always tackles me with a hug. And I never know what she's going to be wearing, either."

"Aww, Darling!" Pameel beams. "You know how happy I am to see you come home!" The fairy blushes a little bit. "And I wanna wear something that'll excite you!"

"You don't have to wear... that stuff!" Marisa sputters. Pameel just giggles merrily, and I hide my smile behind my hand. Marisa hurriedly changes the subject. "Anyway, she went and mixed everything up! I can't find anything anymore!"

"I organized the house," Pameel says primly, brushing a crumb off of Marisa's mouth. The witch doesn't seem to notice. "Things are so much easier to find now! Don't you have an easy time finding your books and potion materials now, Darling?"

Marisa glances away. "...It was my clutter, and I liked it," she mutters.

"And things never catch on fire anymore!" Pameel puts in.

"Those were my fires and I liked them," Marisa mutters.

Pameel frowns. "And that's to say nothing of that nest of poisonous spiders I found in the attic! I had to shoo them away, because they were stealing food!"

"Those were my spiders and I liked them," Marisa mutters disconsolately, clearly just going through the motions now.

"Oh, I know!" Pameel chirps, "That's why I found them a nice tree to live in out back. I trade with them for some of those rare venoms you need. Really nice spiders, but someone had to give them what-for!" She nods firmly. Marisa just blinks, surprised.

"Sounds like you're a busy wife, Pameel," I note. "I was worried that Marisa was over working you a little."

Marisa just rolls her eyes, but Pam smiles happily. "It's no harder than the work I was doing at the mansion, really! And it's just so rewarding to look after someone else! Besides..." Pameel claps her hands to her blushing cheeks. "There's a lot of rewards to being a wife. At night, Marisa is just INSATIABLE!"

"W-WH-WHAAAAAT???!!!" Marisa shrieks, face blazing red with embarrassment. And that's it, I just burst into laughter as Pameel happily squeals and squirms on her chair, while Marisa flails her arms in protest. "I-I do no such thing! What kind of stories are you trying to fill her head with?! H-Hey! Meiling! Stop laughing, dammit!"

It's a few minutes before I regain control of myself.


Things you can do during tea:

[ ] Suggest Pameel sit in Marisa's lap.
[ ] Suggest Marisa sit in Pameel's lap.
[ ] Get Pameel to feed Marisa.
[ ] Get Marisa to feed Pameel.
[ ] Write-in. (Feel free to mess with Marisa a little bit)
[ ] Topics of conversation:
-[ ] Write-in (I have a few things already, but feel free to ask something)
She cooks, she cleans, she takes care of things, she welcomes her with a hug and lots of loving.
Marisa just does not know what she has in Pameel.

Waiting for someone to make a good write in before voting.
[ ] Suggest Pameel sit in Marisa's lap.
[ ] Get Marisa to feed Pameel.
[ ] Topics of conversation:
-[ ] Insatiable, you say? Tell me more.
-[ ] When are you planning on having kids?
-[ ] How did Pameel finally get Marisa to let her inside?
[X]Suggest Pameel sits in Marisa's lap.

[X] Didn't you used to have a pet Tsuchinoko? What ever happened to him?
[X] Why don't you two ever come to the mansion anymore? Some of us are starting to worry about you.
[x] Get Marisa to feed Pameel.
[X] Didn't you used to have a pet Tsuchinoko? What ever happened to him?
[X] Why don't you two ever come to the mansion anymore? Some of us are starting to worry about you.

Good ideas, anon
[X]Suggest Pameel sits in Marisa's lap.

[X] Didn't you used to have a pet Tsuchinoko? What ever happened to him?
[X] Why don't you two ever come to the mansion anymore? Some of us are starting to worry about you.
[X]Suggest Pameel sits in Marisa's lap.

[X] Didn't you used to have a pet Tsuchinoko? What ever happened to him?
[X] Why don't you two ever come to the mansion anymore? Some of us are starting to worry about you.
[X] Suggest Pameel sit in Marisa's lap.
[X] Get Marisa to feed Pameel.
-[X] When are you planning on having kids?
-[X] Didn't you used to have a pet Tsuchinoko? What ever happened to him?
-[X] Why don't you two ever come to the mansion anymore? Some of us are starting to worry about you.

>"Those were my fires and I liked them

Lost it at that line.
[X] Suggest Marisa sit Pameel's lap.
[X] Get Pameel to feed Marisa.
[X] Topics of conversation:
-[X] Insatiable, you say? Tell me more.
-[X] When are you planning on having kids?
-[X] Didn't you used to have a pet Tsuchinoko? What ever happened to him?
-[X] Why don't you two ever come to the mansion anymore? Some of us are starting to worry about you.

Maximum witch embarrassment.
[x] "How does Alice feel about this?"
I can't but the wonder if this punishment is going too far. That and I feel Pameel's wasted on Marisa.
D'aww, Marisa cares. She's just extremely bitter about the whole thing, is all.
[X] Suggest Marisa sit Pameel's lap.
[X] Get Pameel to feed Marisa.
[X] Topics of conversation:
-[X] Insatiable, you say? Tell me more.
-[X] When are you planning on having kids?
-[X] Didn't you used to have a pet Tsuchinoko? What ever happened to him?
-[X] Why don't you two ever come to the mansion anymore? Some of us are starting to worry about you.

Absolutely nothing can go wrong with this plan.


Then who would you plan to unleash her on?
I mean, it's a bit cute and all and Pameel means the best, but this is getting a bit too much. It's also cruel to Marisa. Her home has been invaded, her life has been managed, her freedom has been limited, and she clearly not very happy with the situation. Not to mention Pameel cleaned her house. That's a step too far.
[X] Get Pameel to feed Marisa.
[X] Topics of conversation:
-[X] Insatiable, you say? Tell me more.
-[X] When are you planning on having kids?
-[X] Didn't you used to have a pet Tsuchinoko? What ever happened to him?
-[X] Why don't you two ever come to the mansion anymore? Some of us are starting to worry about you.
[X] Suggest Pameel sit in Marisa's lap.
[X] Suggest Marisa sit in YOUR lap.
[X] Get Marisa to feed Pameel.
[X] Feed Marisa.
[X] Get Pameel to feed you.
[X] Topics of conversation:
-[X] Insatiable, you say? Tell me more.
-[X] When are you planning on having kids?
-[X] Didn't you used to have a pet Tsuchinoko? What ever happened to him?
-[X] Why don't you two ever come to the mansion anymore? Some of us are starting to worry about you.

Because the idea of them sitting that way is too hilarious to pass...especially if someone walks in on them~ *COUGH!* ALICE *COUGH!*
[x] Suggest Marisa sit in Pameel's lap.
[x] Get Pameel to feed Marisa.
[x] Get Marisa to feed Pameel.
Can we have a Lady and the Tramp moment here?
Don't read too much into it. This is a very lighthearted story.

If anything, Marisa is actually just tsundere about the whole thing and actually DOES do stuff at night.
Pretty much this. It would really be nice if we could get Pameel to understand that Marisa is used to having her space, and that starting off with wanting a whole sports team of children is coming on way too strong.

Marisa might try giving Pameel a chance at being something other than a living, breathing reminder of that time she got humiliated, and then got totally humiliated again. Oh wait, that was the explicit purpose of their relationship. She's already part of the way there, but damn that's a bad start. Maybe encourage her to talk to Pam, find out why she was willing to get married just on a lark.
Okay, I think I have enough to get a good update down here. I'll write something up in a little while.

Also, to those who are troubled by the nature of Marisa and Pam's relationship: I understand where you're coming from. But don't take it too seriously. This is a fundamentally lighthearted, even silly take on things.
File 136769145053.jpg - (492.37KB, 800x1130, pameel o vision.jpg) [iqdb]
"Stop. Laughing. Dammit." Marisa snarls at me. "This isn't funny, for crying out loud!"

"Aww, but your dear wife loves you so much!" I coo, "It's just so adorable!"

"Adorable?!" Marisa shouts, "Now you see here, missy! What we have here is a fake marriage that was thrust upon me by a vengeful gatekeeper and a drunken, insane vampire! My privacy is being invaded here! What is so funny about it?!"

I nod agreeably. "That's a fair point, and something that many people would concur with. So here's my question: why haven't you gotten rid of her?"

"Huh?" Marisa blinks in sudden confusion, and Pameel just smiles contentedly. "Well... she's a fairy, if I zapped her, she'd just come back..."

"I see. And have you ever zapped her?" I ask, sipping my tea.

"Uh. Well, no..." Marisa shifts uncomfortably.

"Why not, if she bothers you so much?"

"Well..." Marisa is looking very troubled now, "I mean, she's so nice, and she means well... and I don't dislike every single thing she does..."

"I see," I nod knowingly, "Because I honestly didn't expect this thing to stick, Marisa. I figured that after a day or two tops, you'd Master Spark Pameel out of existence, and she'd come back to the mansion all dejected, the maids would cheer her up, and we'd all go about our business like nothing had ever happened. That never happened, though. Are you telling me that Marisa Kirisame, ordinary magician, one of the best incident solvers in Gensokyo, was incapable of getting one little fairy maid to leave her alone? I find that very unlikely. And yet, Pam's still here with you. Now why is that?"

Marisa doesn't answer.

"My sweetheart is just so shy," Pam sighs. "She complains that she can never find anything, and that the mold is getting on her nerves, so I clean things up for her a little. I think I embarrassed her a bit!" The fairy giggles merrily.

I nod sagely. "So. A lone witch, living all by herself out in the woods. All of a sudden, you get a live-in fairy who thinks you're the greatest, who cooks and cleans and otherwise just wants to keep you company and look after you. Despite her protests, this witch does not dive off said 'annoying' fairy. Now what am I to make of this, hmm?"

Marisa just stares down at her tea, blushing.

"One of the older fairies explained this to me," Pameel put in, "It was early on, when I thought my Darling didn't actually want me around. So, this older fairy told me that Marisa was just acting 'sun-sun,' what ever that is, and I just had to wait until she turned 'dare-dare.' Whatever that is." Marisa is actively hunkering down into her seat now. "Besides! I know how Darling feels! The other day, I was being chased by a bunch of feral youkai and Marisa swooped down to save me, lickedy-split! Then she carried me home in her arms~!" Pam sighs happily.

"...I let you ride on my broom, Marisa mutters irritably.

"Besides, at night in bed? She's the one who grabs onto me to cuddle."

"...I get cold at night," Marisa mutters, her hat pulled down low.

"No kidding," I quip, "Well, this certainly explains why I never had to help Pameel through a broken heart, miss 'sun-sun.'" Marisa glares at me balefully. "So! Speaking of cold at night, what's this about being insatiable?"

Marisa whirls on Pameel. "Hey, uh Pam? How's about you whip us up some snacks, huh?"

"Okay!" Cheerfully, the fairy hops up and wanders over to the cupboards, and Marisa leans in close, her face stormy.

"Okay," she tells me, "Now listen. My saving grace there is that Pameel doesn't actually have a really good grasp of... of what sex entails. So I managed to talk her down and convince her that what a married couple does is... give each other backrubs."

I chortle. "So, every night, the two of you-"

"Yeah. I rub her back, and she rubs mine." Marisa glances to the side. "It's not so bad, really. Kind of relaxing after a long day, and her skin is nice and softOH STOP LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY."

I'm snickering helplessly. "Does this mean there are no kids on the way any time soon?

"Don't. Give her. Ideas." Marisa bites out. "I had to work really hard to talk her out of trying to wash me in the tub every night."

I just shake my head in amusement. "If it's that bad, Marisa, I can always find some way to take her back to the mansion with me." Marisa bites her lip and looks away at my offer. I let my grin turn a little evil. "I thought so. Face it, Marisa. This may have started as a little prank, but you like having Pam around don't you? Living on your own can be so hard at times, after all."

Marisa just glances away, and I nod in triumph as a humming Pameel strides back with a plate full of snacks. As she sets them down on the table, an idea occurs to me. "Say, Pam? If Marisa gets so cold, you could try cuddling up to her during snack-time."

Marisa stares at me in horror, but Pameel claps her hands in delight as an idea suddenly occurs to her. One short hop later, and Pameel is sitting in Marisa's lap, arms linked around the witch's neck as the fairy beams at her wife. After moment, Pam opens her mouth cutely. Marisa sighs, glances at me bleakly, and carefully pops a sugary cookie into Pameel's mouth. Pam's lips close around the ends of Marisa's fingers, gently sucking the sugar from the tips.

Try as she might, Marisa can't hide her blush from me.

"So, Marisa?" I ask, "Is it really so bad having such a clean house?"

She's silent for a moment. "...Lot easier to find things..." is the final, mumbled response. I nod in satisfaction.

"I guess I don't need to ask how you finally got Marisa to let you in the house, Pam. Your warmth melted the ice if her heart~." I make sure to pour it on a little thick, much to Pameels' amusement. Marisa just shakes her head. "Say, it just occurred to me, but didn't you have a pet Tsuchinoko at one point, Marisa? What ever happened to him?"

"Um, Pam kinda made a little house for him out back," Marisa mumbles.

"He kept eating all the food, so I had to put him out back," Pam says primly. "But we let him in from time to time. He's just so cute! Not, as cute as my darling, though." She nuzzles Marisa happily, and the witch just sighs and lets it happen.

"Well, I'm glad to see that the two of you are doing all right," I say, finishing my tea. "I have to say, it's good to see the two of you again. Even you, Marisa. Say, why don't you two ever drop by the mansion anymore? We were getting a little worried about you."

Marisa stares at me. "You actually WANT me to come by the mansion again."

I shrug. "Sure, as long as it's as a guest, and not as a thief. Miss Patchouli is a little restless without a peer to talk to, and Flandre really misses you. You should come by and let everyone know how married life is treating you!" Marisa rolls her eyes, so I add "Please do come by. It's my invitation."

Pam claps her hands excitedly, while Marisa just looks stunned. After a moment, she actually looks a little touched. "Well... I mean..." the witch stumbles over her words. "I... could stand to talk to Patchy over some experiments I'm running, and I kinda do miss little Flan. As long as I don't have to deal with your damn sense of humor anymore..."

"Just don't call me China or try to embarrass me, and I'll rein myself in," I tell her agreeably. Marisa is about to respond when there is a knock at the door. Pam hops up to go answer it, and Marisa blinks in her wake.

"Huh," the witch muses, "Lotsa company today. I wonder who that is?"

Who is it?

[ ] Alice Margatroid
[ ] Reimu Hakurei
[ ] Reisen Udongein Inaba
[ ] Write-in
[X] Aya Shameimaru

Mean? Yes. Hilarious? Yes. Besides, we're going to recapture her eventually. Might as well get Marisa in on the action.
[X] Rinnosuke Morichika
[X] Mima
[x] Alice Margatroid

Just to see what happens.
Oh God

[x] Mima
That update was way too sweet. Marisa will not fall in love with her but she got someone to keep her company. And the two are so adorable together.

[x] Mima

I wonder what you will come up with.
[X] Mima

I can feel it in my bones.
[x] Mima

All aboard the PC-98 train!
[X] Mima

Wanted to choose Alice, but Mima's too tempting to pass up.
[x] Mima

Because I want to see her reaction.
[x] Mima

After what everyone else said, this needs no further explanation.
[x] Mima

Jumpin' on the bandwagon.
[x] Mima
[X] Kanye West
[x] Mima
Mima choice? Obviously.
[x]Friendly Human-size Godzilla?

umm.......blame yukari for it?
[x] Alice, because I wanna see what she thinks of Pam.
[x]Alice and Mima
[x] Mima

This can only end hilariously.
[X] Mima

This is too glorious an opportunity to pass up.
[x] Mima
[X] Mima
Really out of the fucking blue, I love it.

'Hey, good afternoon Marisa! How've you been the last 6 years?'
[x] Alice Margatroid

I was just wondering what this story's Alice must be like.
[x] Alice Margatroid
[X] Mima

[X] Flandre

She decided to come and see how the married couple was doing herself.

And she is also completely not lost and didn't come down here to ask for directions not knowing who was living here. Really. At all. Not lost. Totally knows where she is. Totally.
File 136774675734.jpg - (98.36KB, 990x834, 124158800454.jpg) [iqdb]
[X] Mima
Because how could you 'not' vote Mima?
Okay, let's see how the voting's going-

>Almost unanimous voting for Mima



Update later.
because I'm more curious about Alice's reaction.
File 136778315177.jpg - (223.26KB, 840x700, look whos back.jpg) [iqdb]
"Who could it be?" I wonder.

"Maybe Alice?" Marisa suggests, "She comes out here fairly often. Seems to think the whole situation is funny or something. Actually, I think she taught Pam how to sew..."

I hear the door open. "Hello, can I help you?" Pameel says.

An unfamiliar voice responds. "Hey, kiddo! Is Marisa here? I'm pretty sure this is her house, not that I could tell from the decor. You her live-in maid or something?"

Marisa sits bolt upright in her chair, face in an expression of shock. "No way..." she breathes.

Pameel giggles. "Weeeell... I guess you could say that. Are you a friend of Marisa's? Did you want to see her? Please come in!"

"Thanks, young one!" the voice replies. It gets louder as the source approaches the kitchen. "And yeah, Marisa and I go waaaaay back. Been so long since I've seen her!" The owner of the voice walks into the kitchen. Or rather, floats, appearing to be some sort of ghost.

I have no idea who this person is. Long green hair, blue robe, elaborate pointy hat, and a lower section that trails off into a wispy tail. She has a mischievous, triumphant smirk on her face that is eerily similar to the one that Marisa usually has plastered on her own face. There is an aura of dark magic around this woman, one almost frightening in its strength. I say almost, because such levels of power are fairly common in Gensokyo. But she's at least as powerful as Remilia, and yet I haven't the foggiest clue who this person is.

Marisa, however, does. She shoots out of her chair fast enough that it clatters to the floor. "MIMA?!" she shouts in disbelief.

The spirit/ghost/whatever waves her hand cheekily. ""Sup. Didja miss me?"

For a moment, this 'Mima' and Marisa stare at each other, their expressions of amusement and shock, respectively. Then a slow grin spreads over Marisa's face and she dives forward to envelop Mima in a hug. "Where the hell have you been, dammit?!" The witch laughs happily.

Mima shrugs, returning the hug. "Hell. Or Makai, really. Stayed behind to do some research, just got back recently. How ya been, kiddo? You feel a LOT stronger than when I last saw ya."

Marisa chuckles, stepping back. "Eh, you know. Studying, practicing, experimenting. The usual. Figured out some pretty nifty ways to increase my overall power." I remember being on the receiving end on some of the 'nifty ways.' I hope Marisa doesn't feel up to demonstrating any of them.

"Hah! Good to hear, gotta get that core strength up," Mima nods approvingly. "But what the hell happened to you? You were never this tidy in Reimaden. Or wait, that's cause the fairy's your live-in maid, right?" She glances over at Pameel and notices me, staring in confusion at this apparent reunion. "Oh, speaking of new faces, who's this?"

I bow politely. "Meiling Hong, gatekeeper of the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

Mima raises an eyebrow. "The vampire mansion?" I nod. Mima shakes her head. "Sheesh. Everything's different. I just showed up in Gensokyo yesterday and decided to look around, get the feel of things. And everything's different! Humans and youkai, talking civilly together like it's nothing! Reimu went and shacked up with that vampire! Some runt of an ice fairy is flying around like a superhero! All kinds of new people I never heard of before! And then there's YOU, Marisa!" Mima points an accusing finger at the witch. "Since when did you pick up after yourself, huh? That's the weirdest thing about all this." Marisa rolls her eyes.

"Like you said, that was me!" Pameel chirps, "I'm happy to give my Darling a nice, comfy, clean house!"

Mima doesn't respond for a moment. She blinks, still pointing at Marisa, and seems to let the words sink in. Slowly, she turns to look at Pameel. "...My darling?" she repeats.

"Yes!" Pameel says happily, "I'm Marisa's husband!"

Mima's eyes go very wide, and she stares back at the blushing Marisa, who seems to desperately wish that she was anywhere else right now. "...Husband," she says slowly.

I step in. "Yes, that's right. You see, after the umpteenth attempt to illegally enter the mansion and raid the magical library of Voile, young Miss Flandre hit upon the idea of marrying Marisa off to one of the mansion's fairy maids in an attempt to get her to settle down. It seems to have worked." I say it all as matter-of-factly as I can, as though discussing the weather. I do leave out Marisa's attempt to kill me. Letting bygones be bygones, and all that.

Mima stares at me for a long moment, then at Pameel, then back at Marisa. "...You want me to blast the fairy?" she offers.

"NO!!!" Marisa shouts quickly. A moment later, she flushes as she realizes how she just reacted. Pameel walks up and hugs Marisa, purring as she nuzzles her wife. I try unsuccessfully to hide my grin. Mima raises an eyebrow and slowly allows a lecherous smirk to crawl over her face. "Why, Marisa~," she sings, "Here you went and got yourself a sweet little thing to keep house for you. I hope you're treating your dear one nicely!"

"She sure does!" Pameel speaks up, "She treats me very sweetly every night!" Mima's eyes look ready to bulge out of her head. "Her backrubs are the best!"

It takes Mima a moment to get control of her laughter.

"Anyway," Mima chortles once the guffaws have subsided, "I should probably introduce myself. My name's Mima, and I'm Marisa's tutor in the magical arts." She nods to me and Pameel.

I glance at Marisa. "You actually LEARNED from someone?" I ask disbelievingly, "Instead of just stealing grimoires from Voile?"

"Oh, gimme a break," Marisa grumbles. "Yeah, I met Mima early on, and she taught me a lot about magic. I used to work for her a long time ago. Then she stayed behind after the whole Makai incident."

"Doing some independent study," Mima agrees, "How could I turn down the chance to study the magic of the demon realm? But damn... Gensokyo sure has changed. I have no idea how to get around any more!"

"Yeah, things are a bit different," Marisa sucks on her teeth, "Lots of new arrivals, and new factions. New set of magical dueling rules, too. It's a whole different ball game than what you're probably used to Mima."

"Looks like I could use a hand getting settled in," Mima nods in agreement, then smiles innocently. "Speaking of which! Marisa dear~?"

"...Yes, Mima?" Marisa asks warily.

"Would it bother you so much if I, say, stayed here for a little while? You know, just to catch up with you after so long, to learn what's new in Gensokyo, and really just until I get my feet under me again." Mima asks as sweetly as she can.

"You don't have any feet," Marisa retorts. Mima reshapes her tail into a pair of feet. "Oh, you know what I mean. I don't mind, but what about Reimaden?"

"Errr..." Mima looks uncomfortable. "I kinda sorta forgot to renew the enchantments on the place and, well..."

"...It collapsed," Marisa finishes.

"...Yeah," Mima agrees, scratching her head. "So, I sort of need a place to stay until I can rebuild it, or at least some other place of my own. So, why not my former disciple?" Mima smiles cheerfully at Marisa. "It'll be just like old times! We can stay up late, drink together, maybe I can share some of my spells with you..."

Marisa leans forward eagerly. "Spells?"

Mima looks smug. "I may very well have picked up some new tricks while I was in Makai. Whaddaya say, Marisa? Can you stand to have this evil spirit around, sharing magical knowledge that she didn't think you were ready for previously?"

Marisa grasps Mima's hands, eyes shining with emotion. "Oh, Mima, you know I couldn't turn you away! Please feel free to stay as long as you want!"

Mima chuckles. "I thought you'd say that! And as for you, little one!" Mima walks over and puts an arm around Pameel's shoulders. "If you're gonna look after Marisa, you need to know a lot more about... backrubs! Care to learn from an old expert? You would not BELIEVE the tricks I can teach you!" In the face of this offer, Pam looks ecstatic, Marisa looks suddenly uncertain, and I realize that I'm a bit of an extra wheel.

"Well, I'm gonna take off," I tell the room in general. "Mima, nice to meet you. Pam and Marisa, be sure to stop by sometime, okay?" I wave, and turn to go.

"Wait a moment."

I turn back to see Mima moving towards me, looking thoughtful. "Voile library, you say? THE Voile, loaded with countless tomes of magical knowledge?"

"Um, yes?" I reply.

Mima is silent for a moment. Then a broad, calculating smile spreads across her face, eyes twinkling with mirth. "How interesting. I'll have to get Marisa to tell me all about it. See you around, then!" Chuckling to herself, Mima turns back to the others, and Marisa grins at me.

I leave the house feeling a little worried, wondering just where Marisa learned some of her habits, and just when, and under what circumstances, I'd be seeing Mima again.


I'm sure Meiling has nothing to worry about. Anyway! Choices!

[ ] The big date with Sakuya.
[ ] A pleasant day with Yuuka.
[ ] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
[ ] The DyCirno Super Heroic Force
[x] A pleasant day with Yuuka.
[x] The big date with Sakuya.
It is time for romance.
I thought we were saving that for last.
[ ] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
[ ] The DyCirno Super Heroic Force
[X] Recapturing the rogue tengu.

This option seems the most likely to end with Flandre and an empty bottle...
[X] A pleasant day with Yuuka.
[X] Recapturing the rogue tengu.

Hide your ice fairies, a predator is on the loose.
[x] A pleasant day with Yuuka.
[X] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
[ ] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
Welp, that went much quieter than expected. I'm somewhat dissapointed.

[X] Recapturing the rogue tengu.

Let's hope this time there's more turmoil and shenanigans ahoy.
>>Welp, that went much quieter than expected. I'm somewhat dissapointed.

Pfft. Mima just got back! She needs a little set-up time before causing trouble. Maybe by trying to conquer the Underworld. Or possibly by causing trouble with the Yama.

Or, you know. Hijacking the Shrine again.

All the shrines.

(Unless she's already/still the Hakurei Curse God)
[x] Recapturing the rogue tengu.

When will we ever find out Alice's reaction to the whole thing.

What else were you expecting?
[x] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
[x] Recapturing the rogue tengu.

[X] The DyCirno Super Heroic Force

As amusing as Aya may be, she isn't Super Fairy Wars.
but while she's on the loose, she is a threat to them.
[X] Mima come by for a 'visit'.
[X] Recapturing the rogue tengu.

Because I want to see how Tengu reformation practices have changed Aya.

Plus, Momiji. Meiling and Momiji, Ace Hunters!

I get the distinct impression that we'll next see Mima raiding Voile.

Possibly more competently.

Probably not.
I dunno. I think this update lacked a little... spark? Or at least more lasers and explosions or something. I'm going to hold onto >>57113 's words and expect Mima and Marisa to team up and raid Voile in the near future.
[x] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
[x] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
[X] Recapturing the rogue tengu.
Called for the rogue tengu. Update later today.
File 13678674721.jpg - (188.79KB, 850x602, one of those days.jpg) [iqdb]

The awareness of an intrusion of the mansion grounds catapults me out of a pleasant dream involving Sakuya, Yuuka, and cake, and into the land of wakefulness. Already fully aware, I vault out bed, tugging off my sleepclothes in one swift motion.

1 second elapsed.

In a blur of motion, I grab my clothes and hurl them on me at speeds that can only be achieved with chi-enhanced speed and reflexes. Well, unless you're Sakuya, but that's just cheating.

5 seconds elapsed.

Fully dressed, I barge out of my bedroom door and down the hall so quickly that a wind rattles the paintings on the wall in my wake. At top speed, I turn the handle of the door to the outside and launch myself out, landing in a combat-ready pose, senses tuned to any sign of the intruder.

7.9 seconds. A new record. Excellent.

I have a nasty suspicion that it's Mima. Ever since that meeting with her at Marisa's house, I've been on edge. In the wake of that encounter, the three of them made a visit to the mansion. Pameel was swarmed by fairies eager for details about the married life, which a blushing Pam was happy to provide. Marisa got a diving tackle-hug from Flandre, and actually sat down to have a civil discussion with Patchouli.

Then there was Mima.

She didn't say much, and didn't even come inside the mansion. She just said hello, and hovered around outside the mansion, checking it out without any signs of wanting to do more. Hovering just outside the boundary of the walls. Hovering, and smirking, all the while casting long, considering looks at Voile.

It wasn't the last time. Ever since, regularly seen here looking at the mansion from a distance, as though gauging it. Then she'll see me and wave before flying off, but never before casting one last, long look at the library.

I know the look in her eyes. I've seen it many times before, on the face of a certain Ordinary Magician. It's only a matter of time before Mima makes her move and tries to raid Voile. Today may very well be that day.

I hear a bit of motion by the front gate. Unfamiliar motion. Not the fairies. I'm off like a shot, muscles tensed to strike down whoever the fool was that dared to intrude upon this place. The sun has not yet risen, and a reddish glow illuminates the eastern sky. Isn't that a sign that it's going to be poor weather? Never mind, that can wait until later.

I dart between the flowerbeds, staying low, but not slowing. Almost there. I see the gate! It's wide open. The four fairies I had left to stand guard are sprawled out all over the ground, and two tall figures loom over them.

They dare.

They dare to strike down my subordinates, my trusted fairies whom I had charged with the defense of the mansion while I slept? They dare to attack this place so boldly?

The gloves are off. They made a colossal mistake just now.

They made me angry.

Chi-enhanced muscles, already incredibly strong on their own, propel me across the grounds. In an instant I'm upon the invaders, hand moving forward in a strike that will cripple one of them, leaving the other open for a follow-up-


What the-

My hand screeches to a halt a hairsbreadth from the throat of Momiji Inubashiri, who suddenly notices me, her eyes widening with shock. Beside her is Hatate Himekaidou, the one who had shouted, who is staring at me with a similar expression.

Time stands still as my brain starts to catch up with my body.

What the hell?!

Momiji takes a shaky step backwards and falls on her backside, rubbing at where my fist had nearly struck her throat. Hatate takes a slow, shaky breath. "You don't mess around, huh?" She laughs nervously.

And then I notice that my dress is on inside-out. "It's way to early for this," I grumble.


About fifteen minutes later, I'm sharing some tea out by the front gate with my visitors as the sun starts to rise over the horizon. I've taken the time to straighten out my clothes, and the downed fairies have regained consciousness. They're currently standing a fair distance away, glaring balefully at the chastened tengu duo.

"So," I sigh, "Explain to me why you're here at this hour, and more to the point, why you were standing over some unconscious fairies?"

"Er... that was my fault, actually," Momiji says, embarrassed. "My deepest apologies to you and your staff both." She bows apologetically to the fairies , who look somewhat mollified.

"I tried to stop her," sighs Hatate, "but she just wouldn't listen."

"Uh... also true," Momiji admits. "My apologies again. I was just very eager to speak with you."

"Sounds that way," I sigh. "So... what happened, exactly?"

"Well," Momiji clears her throat. "As I said, I was very eager to speak with you. I rushed to the mansion as soon as I thought of you, wishing your assistance, but the fairies blocked my way. They were very insistent that you were not to be awakened, and would not be swayed on the matter."

"They asked us to wait until you woke up," Hatate clarifies, "and Momiji wasn't in a waiting mood."

"For the thousandth time, I'm SORRY," Momiji sighs, " I know that my behavior was unprofessional and uncalled for, but I was- and am- in a terrible hurry. Anyway, when they repeatedly refused me entry, I grew impatient and forced my way in." She swallows. "And moments later realized what I had done. I was pondering how best to apologize for my actions when you showed up. You're very fast, by the way."

"When I need to be," I shrug. I frown. "You know, this really isn't like you. You always came across as a lot more professional than this. And barging in through the front gate like this? Aren't you a guardian yourself?"

Momiji slumps, thoroughly chastened. "Yes. You are completely right. I'm behaving no differently than those who barge through tengu territory without so much as asking permission, the very same beings who aggravate me to no end. And again, I am truly sorry for my actions. They were made in the heat of the moment, when I wasn't thinking properly."

One of the fairies pipes up. "Come to think of it, she was really panicking over something. She was begging to see you before she finally flipped and clobbered us!"

This worries me. "Okay. This is all just too weird. Momiji, what's going on? What has you so worked up?"

Momiji and Hatate share a troubled glance. "Well..." Momiji starts, "You remember how you uncovered Aya's behavior a while back, right? Her troubling obsession with young Cirno?" I nod, remembering the whole disturbing incident. "Well... a while back, Aya slipped her bonds and led us on a merry chase all over Gensokyo."

"I remember that," I remark, "I recall you guys chasing her through the skies, then it stopped. I just figured you managed to drag her back to jail, or wherever you were keeping her."

"Not... quite..." Momiji says hesitantly.

"Aya went to ground," Hatate explains, "She's a very accomplished infiltrator, and she started slipping through the forests, trying to give make the wolves lose the trail."

"We pursued her tirelessly," Momiji nods.

"And..." I prod.

"...Aya succeeded," Momiji says. "Last night, we finally lost the trail. Aya Shameimaru is now a rogue tengu. She's loose in Gensokyo, and I have absolutely no idea where she is." The white wolf stares at me with eyes full of panic, as I consider the thought of Aya being free to do whatever she wishes, with no one to stop her.

[ ] React calmly.
[ ] React wearily.
[ ] React angrily.
[ ] React nervously.
[ ] React with PANIC!
[X] React by falling asleep.

It's too early in the morning to bother dealing with this and Cirno is capable of handling Aya by herself
[x] React nervously.

I'd be nervous if a vengeful, super-powered pervert was on the loose.
[x] React angrily.

Someone dangerous got loose in Gensokyo and Cirno as at her mercy. Of coruse she is angry at their incompetence.
X] React by falling asleep.

Wait for Cirno to find Aya.
Watch as Cirno beats Aya. Done and done.
[x] React calmly.
[X] React calmly.

The Quiet before the Storm. Calm before the Rage.

Lets save the anger for when we finally Catch the Aya.
[X] React calmly.
[X] React calmly.

Overreacting isn't gona do much for us now.
[X] React calmly.
[X] React calmly.
[X] React calmly.
[x] React calmly.

Aya's just a pervert, she wouldn't do anything too horrible.

And the Great DyCirno wouldn't fall to her tricks easily.
[X] Calmly.
--[X] We have two three powerful magicians here, plus a shrine maiden with intuition that might as well be prescience.
[X] React by calmly falling asleep.
And we got another thread done!
congrats Keymaster.

Thanks! And to think I thought this would end at the second thread, tops...

Anyway! Calling it for a nice, calm reaction. Update will be in a new thread.
File 136795425031.jpg - (126.67KB, 850x1153, i just like momiji.jpg) [iqdb]
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