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File 136518624291.jpg - (468.55KB, 524x700, I mean who wouldnt.jpg) [iqdb]
I honestly never dreamed that I would have four threads. Thanks for voting!

Thread 1: >>/sdm/54956
Thread 2: >>/sdm/55386
Thread 3: >>/sdm/55803

I take a deep breath to clear my mind. So, I'm going to be very honest with myself here. This is stupid. Really, really stupid. I have a little pervert, who claims to be able to see into my subconscious, offering to play therapist for me. Her fee? She wants to fondle me. This has got to be the dumbest thing-

"Your face says no," Koishi notes.

I glare down at her. "I won't lie, a little advice could go a long way, and I'd really like to unravel whatever's happening in my mind. But I really don't like the thought of someone coming up and handling me like a piece of meat. Isn't there someone else you can do that to?"

"Everyone else has learned to dodge me," Koishi pouts, "Sorta like you. So I don't get too many goodies down below. Besides, you've got one helluva body!" Koishi peeks up at me as she says this, but I just stare back blandly. "...Not big on flattery, huh. Fair enough." Koishi shrugs innocently. "So, lemme lay it out for you. I wanna be friends, 'cuz I don't have too many friends. That's why I wanna help you. On the other hand, I'm a creature of impulse. It comes with my nature, and all my impulses are screaming BOOBIES right about now. Help me get that out of my system, and I can be serious with you."

I'm a little confused now. "I don't follow. And why are you acting so serious all of a sudden?"

"I just told you: impulses." Koishi's look has lost its earlier vapidness. She actually does look very serious. I'm vaguely reminded of Flandre's mood-shifts. "When I have an impulse, I gotta fulfill it. Right now I have two: touch sexy body, and help confused lady and make friends." Koishi pauses. "Not a lot of people can perceive me all that readily, so congratulations! You're currently a top candidate to be my friend!" Koishi smiles cheerfully.

I have a bad idea where this is going. "Please tell me that you aren't going to fall in love with me too," I groan.

"Nah," Koishi shakes her head, "I'm strictly short-term. Visit a friend from time to time, maybe a friendly grope... maybe not in your case... but nothing like that."

"...So you're not going to hang around and try to entice me or anything?"

Koishi ponders. "I might, but I'll get bored of it after five minutes. Creature of impulse, remember?"

"...And do you really have to feel me up?"

"I'll compromise. Let me touch your butt once and get all gooey-eyed over it, and it'll be outta my system. Then I'll be done. And I really can help you out, you know."

I stare at the girl for a long moment and heave a large sigh. "...I'm going to regret this, I just know it. Fine. Just... get it over with." Dear diary, today I let an amatuer psychotherapist grab me. Why did I do it? It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Aaaand there we go. Koishi's grabbing my butt- wait, she just let go. Now she looks like she's drooling and savoring the sensation... and now she's wiping her face and looks normal. It took all of five seconds. What the hell?

"Done," Koishi announces, "Now, I see images of extreme confusion in your brainy-meats, involving maids and flowers. Talk to Koishi, new friend!" She looks up at me expectantly.

...I'm going to regret this.

Funny thing though, it actually feels good to talk about it. I let it all out: my issues with Sakuya, Yuuka's sudden crush, their mutual declarations of love and efforts to entice me... everything. I also mention my enduring confusion on the subject, and how I just have no idea how to proceed. I finish off my recitation actually feeling better about things. It really does feel good to get it all off of your chest to someone who isn't going to tease you about it. And Koishi... is slowly twirling in place for some reason. "Why are you doing that?"

"Impulses," Koishi tells me, "Girl's gotta spin. Don't worry, I was listening. And combined with what I felt from deep inside you, I know exactly what your problem is!"

I'm a little interested now. "Oh yeah? What's that."

Koishi stops spinning and faces me full on. "You're a little too conservative for your own good."

I blink. "What?"

"Well, maybe that's not the best term," Koishi admits, going back to spinning, "But it's in the right ballpark. Look, in your heart, you're kind of an old-fashioned girl. Find a nice guy, have a family, that sort of thing. Probably grew up traditionally, and replaced those traditions for other old traditions when you came to work for a vampire. Vampires are not exactly the most progressive of beings around."

"Well, yes..." I admit. "That's actually pretty true." Honestly, my upbringing did involve a great deal of ritual and tradition. It's part of the territory when you're of my lineage.

"Right. And during all that, you didn't exactly have a lot of contact with men, I'll bet. Too busy training at first, and then probably because the mistress of the house either killed them off in self-defense or nommed on their neck." Koishi is spinning her hand around on her fingers for some reason. "And that's really all it is right there. A traditional girl with little experience with the opposite sex. Not totally pure and chaste, of course, but not as experienced as she might be. You don't get out much, I'm sure."

"...So where are you going with this?" She's right, but I still don't like her implications.

Koishi sighs and starts pacing on the wall. As in, she's walking along the wall, parallel to the ground. "Do I have to spell it out? Don't answer that. Look. Sexuality isn't a matter of absolutes. It's more of a sliding scale. You're straight, you like men. But there's also a couple of very appealing women who are interested in you. Both of them healthy, with a lot to offer. You don't have a lot of prospects, and these ladies are healthy, attractive, and most importantly? They genuinely appreciate you."

Koishi suddenly surges forward to hover right in front of me, looking me dead in the eyes. "And that's it, End of story. Situation finito. That is all there is. You are overthinking things." Koishi leans back a little. "Look, Sakuya and Yuuka are pretty amazing women. Anyone would be flattered to have their attention. There's nothing wrong with feeling a little receptive."

"...But I'm-" I begin, before being cut off.

"Sliding scale," Koishi reminds me. "Now, be honest: do you find yourself attracted to them?"

Do I? No, stop, Meiling. Don't think about it too hard. Just be honest with what's deep inside you. Let it out without thinking about it. Thus resolved, I take a deep breath and say what is in my heart. "Yes."



I blink in surprise at my answer. The thing is, it feels right. Not embarrassing, not weird, not something to get all crazy over, just... true.

Koishi just shrugs. "See? They're the same as you. They like men, but you're just so fantastic that they're willing to make an exception in your case. Call it bisexuality if you want to, but I think that's pointless." Koishi starts to slowly rotate in place. "Part of the problem is, everything's getting weird for you. I know how you feel. This whole place, Gensokyo, is changing, and no one knows how to deal with it. Human and youkai are sitting down for drinks, even dating. That used to be rare. Vampire girl is getting out of the house and dating a priestess. Kinda odd, when you think about it." Koishi stops spinning and stares at me again. "Your whole world is getting shaken up, and you're feeling it, even if you don't realize it. You just got taken a little too far out of your comfort zone and started to panic."

Koishi pulls up a tuft of grass and blows it into the air. "So now? Some girls think you're great, but you're so set in your ways, and everything is changing around you, so your reaction is to just flip out. Don't do that."

Koishi brushes her hands off and walks up to me. "Short version? There are two people who think you're the best thing in the world. You're not totally against the idea of being with them, either. Deep inside, you were probably always open to the idea at the very least. So stop thinking about it so hard, and do what feels right. Either take 'em out on a date, or don't. Just stop obsessing over it."

I think it over for a long moment. It really is that simple, isn't it? "...You're pretty good at this." I'm forced to admit.

Koishi shrugs. "Satori. Master of the heart. Personally, I think you should hop in bed with them. Both at once, really." She smirks.

"W-what?" There's the embarrassment coming back again!

"Oh, don't look at me like that!" Koishi scoffs. "Think about it! Sakuya with her precise touch and time-stopping, Yuuka with her warmth and plants... think what a sandwich with them would be like~!" She giggles and starts spinning in place again.

I stare at the twirling girl, taken aback by the sudden change in her behavior. Again "This is your impulses again, isn't it?" I realize.

"Yep!" Koishi chirps, all signs of seriousness having vanished. "Anyway, I've talked way too much! Just do what feels right! Stop stressing! Smell the roses! Check out the poses! Of the girls who love you! They're totally into you!" Koishi pauses. "Nah, I suck at rhymes." Yep, from serious all the way to whimsical in a beartbeat.

I giggle despite myself. "Well, thanks for your insight... I think."

"No worries! Just stop stressing! Stop letting them get to you, and they won't! It's cute if you let it be. And they'll never force anything on you, so no worries there! Girls will be girls, and you will be you. That's all there is to it. Be flattered, or be nothing. Or whatever. I'm bored of being here." Koishi takes to the sky. "Anyway~! I just had the idea to go listen to some sutras at Myouren temple, so I'm gonna do do that, unless I think of something else on the way! So long, new friend!"

And then she's gone, waving all the way.

What a strange person.

Still... as weird as Koishi is, she hit the nail on the head. I've been letting this whole thing get to me way too much, letting myself think of it as something indecent. Really, though... it's kinda cute how Sakuya and Yuuka have been acting. Maybe not the kisses; that was going a little far. But I do appreciate how highly they think of me.

Do I want to date them? Mmmm... maybe. But not right now. I'm just going to let things sink in before I really start thinking about it too hard. But I'm not going to let it rule my thoughts anymore. I really have been silly, haven't I?

...Maybe I should sunbathe in a bikini one day, just to test their reaction. That could be fun!


There. Meiling has finally stopped obsessing about her personal life. What does the future hold for her? That remains to be seen! Anyway, take your pick:

[ ] Meiling goes for a drink.
[ ] Flandre has a bad dream.
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.

Also, regarding Sakuya and Yuuka:

[ ] Well, just let things sit for a little bit.
[ ] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!
[ ] Flandre has a bad dream.
[ ] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!
[X] Flandre has a bad dream.
[X] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!
I like your Koishi.
[X] Flandre has a bad dream.
[X] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!

As much as I'd like to see the girl's night out, your Flandre is too damn good to pass up.
[x] Flandre has a bad dream


[x] Give those girls a shot!
[x] Flandre has a bad dream.
[x] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!

Now's not the time to get drunk. And it is most definitiely payback time.
[x] Flandre has a bad dream.
[x] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!

When you let Anon freely pursue some girls you need to watch out.

That beind said
>"Oh, don't look at me like that!" Koishi scoffs. "Think about it! Sakuya with her precise touch and time-stopping, Yuuka with her warmth and plants... think what a sandwich with them would be like~!"
I like her and I am all for having some fun with both of them. At once. They alredy formed an alliance to get Meiling so that saves the problem of convincing them about this.

And the Flandre choice because she is just awesome. Drunk Flandre. Wise Flandre, General Flandre. Wedding Dress Flandre. What else do I need to say here?
[X] Flandre has a bad dream.
[X] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!
[x] Flandre has a bad dream.
[x] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.
[X] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!

Too much Flan recently in my opinion.
Lets see the other girls too
[X] Flandre has a bad dream.
[X] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!
Flan: part of a balanced diet
[x] Well, just let things sit for a little bit.
[x] Meiling goes for a drink.
It seems that anon will always go for girls, regardless of context.
[X] Flandre has a bad dream.
[X] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!
[X] Flandre has a bad dream.
[X] Well, just let things sit for a little bit.

Flandre is awesome, and someone has to piss in the tide.
[X] Flandre has a bad dream.
[X] ...Maybe I should start messing with them a little? Fair is fair, after all!
[x] Meiling goes for a drink.

Pissing against the tide, but the bartender still needs a turn...
File 136527406299.jpg - (125.06KB, 850x600, it would be comfy.jpg) [iqdb]
"Meiling?" Sakuya asks me, "Why did you leave your door opeaaaaAAAAAH!"

The head maid gapes at me from the doorway of my room and I turn to her with an innocent smile. "Oh, hi Sakuya! I guess I left the door open by accident." I blink in confusion. ",,,Is there something wrong?"

Sakuya stares at me, wide-eyed, blushing, and with her jaw nearly to the floor. "Meiling... what are you doing exactly?" Sakuya's voice is quite hoarse.

I smile and turn back to the full-length mirror with a bounce that makes Sakuya jump and her eyes bulge out even wider. "Oh, you know! Just trying out sleep-wear." Well, sleep-wear isn't the most accurate term here. Lingerie, certainly. Tight, sheer, frilly lingerie that I borrowed from an amused Koakuma.

Hey, if those two are going to try their hardest to entice me, there's no rule says that I can't do the same back, right?

"Sleep wear," Sakuya asks hollowly. She doesn't take her eyes off of me. She may be unable to. Gee, this is surprisingly fun!

"Yeah, I just get so hot and sweaty some nights, you know! I need something a little lighter so that my skin can breathe." I start to pose a little bit in front of the mirror, watching Sakuya's reactions. Which are many and varied. I sway my hips. She sways her eyes. I stretch my leg to the side. Her eyes stretch to the side. Well not literally, but you get the idea. "Actually, can I get your opinion?"

"You should totally wear that," she says numbly. An immediate response, by the way.

"Really? But I was thinking about this." I pick up a second outfit, which is red and almost entirely transparent. By this point, Sakuya's eyes are almost ready to fall out of their sockets. She's breathing heavily and I swear that I can see a bit of sweat on her.

"Never mind! That! You should totally wear that!" She exclaims. Poor Sakuya. Her perfect and elegant exterior is almost completely gone now. Well, that's enough of teasing her. Almost.

I turn to Sakuya with a warm smile. "Really? You think so?" Sakuya nods emphatically. I smile even more broadly and slowly walk towards her, transparent 'clothing' still held in my hand. I let my body sway as I slowly approach her, Sakuya's face slowly getting redder and redder. Even so, a faint smile appears on her lips, almost a smile of anticipation. I keep our eyes locked, and come to a stop so very close to her, Sakuya's body tensed and ready...

...And I smile cheerfully. "Thanks for the advice, Sakuya! I'll make sure to keep the door shut from now on! Sorry about that! Good night!" And I close the door in her face, still smiling happily.

I immediately press my ear against the door to hear Sakuya sputtering. "But... you... nightie... sexy... see through... but I... eh... huh?" After a few moments to process what has happened, I hear Sakuya groan wearily and stumble down the hallway. I smirk, start to chortle, and barely manage to dive onto my bed and muffle my voice with a pillow before the laughter starts. More than just laughter, full-blown guffaws right from the pit of my stomach. Oh man, that was fun!

Okay, I'll admit, maybe that was a little mean. But after weeks of being put through sheer confusion by those two, I'm ready to get back at them a little bit! Which reminds me. As soon as I get my laughter under control, I stand up, sides still hurting, and walk over to my window. I peek though the drapes carefully... Yep. There's Yuuka. Peeking over the wall and staring longingly at my room. I suppose I could feel a little threatened, but honestly? Coming from Yuuka, it's just plain cute, especially given how shy she's been lately.

I've just about gotten used to regarding an ancient, immensely powerful youkai as cute. Funny what you can adapt to.

So, with a tug on the drapes, I pull them open and gaze around at the moonlit grounds, pretending not to notice Yuuka. She, however, still gets a good long look at me, and what little I'm wearing. Aaaaaand there are her eyes widening, there's the blush and the slack jaw... a pause, now. And now Yuuka's eyes are rolling into the back of her head and she appears to have fainted dead away, falling away from the wall.


Still, I think that's a successful trial. I close the drapes, feeling good about my appearance, and barely manage to muffle my laughter with a pillow again before it bursts forth once more. It takes me a while to settle down this time.


Once I manage to settle down and get changed into some actually decent pajamas, I crawl into bed and fall asleep, still chuckling over my prank on Sakuya and Yuuka. I'm not sure how long I sleep. A few hours? However, I'm jolted out of an odd dream, where I'm watering flowers while wearing a maid uniform, by a knock on my door. Mumbling incoherently, I roll out of bed and stagger blearily over. Who could it be at this hour? As I open the door, I swear to myself that if it's Sakuya trying to seduce me, she is going to get such a wallop-

It's Flandre.

Flandre, dressed in her bat-print pajamas and clutching a fluffy pillow to her chest, looking up at me with frightened eyes. I awaken immediately, maternal instincts taking over. "Flandre honey, what's wrong?" I ask, kneeling down and voice full of genuine concern.

"Meiling?" Flandre says quietly, "I had a r-really scary dream. Can I s-sleep with you tonight? Please?" Something must have really bothered her if her voice is actually shaking a bit. Still, this isn't the first time Flandre has crawled into bed with me.

I gently take the young mistress into my arms. "Shhh, it's alright," I tell her soothingly, rubbing my hand against her back. Flandre shudders a little, then relaxes. "I don't mind, but are you sure you don't want to go see your sister?"

Flandre shakes her head. "It's gotta be you," she insists. I sigh a little. Flandre has always been more willing to seek comfort from me than her sister. I think it's a vampire thing, even if Remilia would probably love the chance to be there for Flandre. Still, that's beside the point right now. Flandre needs some comfort, and I'm it. That's all that matters.

"Okay, Flan," I tell her gently, "I don't mind in the slightest. Let's get some sleep okay?" Flandre nods, and a few moments later, is curled up in bed next to me. "Feel better?" I ask, keeping a warm smile on my face. Flandre doesn't answer, just staring at the ceiling for a few moments before closing her eyes. Then she tosses her pillow aside and throws her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

This... is new.

"Flan?" I ask, worried now. "What's wrong?" I gently stroke her hair and rub her back in an attempt to calm her. Flandre just trembles and takes slow, shuddering breaths. It takes her some time to find her voice.

"I'm a vampire," she says quietly.

I chuckle at that. "Well, yeah. Everyone knows-"

"I drink blood." I freeze. Oh no. That's something that Remilia never told Flandre. She felt it would be too dangerous, for multiple reasons, to let Flandre know what her main source of nutrition was. It was always something we kept quiet. But somehow, Flandre found out.

"I found it in the library," Flandre continues, "While I was researching. I just found out today, when I was reading about vampires. I mean, other books would mention a vampire's diet without really going into it, so I never really thought about it. Then some book came right out and said it. Vampires drink blood. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world."

I close my eyes and say nothing. Of course she found out. Flandre's intelligent. You couldn't expect to keep something like this from her forever. When Flandre speaks again, her voice is heavy with tears.

"It explains a lot. Like why my food always tasted different. Why Remi always had a drink of something... different... at meals. It made a lot of sense. But I couldn't help but think..." she swallows heavily, "...doesn't taking someone's blood hurt them? Like... when I lose control and hurt people? I... don't wanna hurt anyone. Really." Flandre's voice starts to crack and she clutches my pajamas tightly. "I had a dream. Where I got so hungry that I started drinking everyone's blood and couldn't stop. Yours. Remi's. Marisa's. Even all the fairies. I just keep drinking and drinking, and wouldn't stop, and people wouldn't move afterwards, and I think they were dead and-" she's starting to sound hysterical.

I squeeze the frightened vampire tightly. "Flandre. Calm down. It was just a dream. You didn't hurt anyone. It's all right. Calm down, okay?" Flandre heaves a shuddering breath but tries to get a hold of herself. It takes a few minutes, and I think I hear her crying a little bit during those few minutes. When she does get a grip on her feelings, Flandre speaks the words I've been dreading:

"Why didn't you tell me?"

...What can I say?

[ ] Just hold her tightly. She just needs somebody right now.
[ ] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
[ ] Wake up Remilia. She needs to talk to her sister about this.
[X] Wake up Remilia. She needs to talk to her sister about this.

It was her decision not to tell Flandre in the first place, so she should be the one to explain why.
[X] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.

We already got the "Somebody there for her" part down. Right now she needs answers and needs to know it ain't so bad as she imagines.
Flandre went to Meiling because she trusts her the most. It is not right to just send her off like that. She knew it was coming and most likely knows what she is going to tell her.

[x] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
[ ] Just hold her tightly. She just needs somebody right now.
[ ] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
[x] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
[x] Wake up Remilia. She needs to talk to her sister about this.

She'd probably have a better explanation than Meiling.
[X] Just hold her tightly. She just needs somebody right now.
[X] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.

Hugs combined with Truth. Is best answer.
[x] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.

Think this is the best response overall. Everything else can come after.
[ ] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
[X] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
[x] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
[x] Wake up Remilia. She needs to talk to her sister about this.

Because it was her choice to keep Flandre in the dark, it's up to her to teach Flandre.

I mean, can you really see Meiling handling this? "So Flandre, the reason why we didn't tell you is because you're an unstoppable mentally unstable powerhouse, and we all thought that if you decided to vamp out then you'd kill like, everybody, before we could stop you!"

And then smile.
[ ] Just hold her tightly. She just needs somebody right now.
[ ] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.

She trusts Meiling for a reason. That reason is that she will tell it straight when actually asked.

Though the only reason I can see that Flandre was never told has to do with Remilia wanting to keep her sister from knowing about the awful truth about what she feeds on. Girl had enough to deal with already.
[X] Just hold her tightly. She just needs somebody right now.
[X] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
[Y] Just hold her tightly. She just needs somebody right now.
[Y] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
[x] Just hold her tightly. She just needs somebody right now.
[x] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
The thing is Flandre came to Meiling most likely because she is worried she wont get a straight answer from Remilia because she was the one who kept in the dark for so long. As karmic as it would be to just dump this one off on Remilia, Flandre came to Meiling because she trusts Meiling and wants Meiling's help. Also I'm fairly certain Meiling can explain it a bit more tactfully then 'we were worried you would kill everyone'.

Anyways it seems Flandre's main concern is that she is hurting people just by existing. I'm not sure where Remilia is getting her blood supply from in this story, but assuming its something like Yukari stealing from the outside world blood banks, or a similarly non violent option I'd like to add a sub vote.

[X] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
-[X] Assure Flandre that no humans were hurt in the making of her dinner.
[M] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
Yeah Meiling would try to put it nicely for her as opposed to Remilia who'd make a terrible slip up fumbling to explain it.
>Remilia who'd make a terrible slip up fumbling to explain it.
Yes, because hiding something from your sister for over 400 years means you've had no time to prepare for the inevitable explaination.

And how do you expect Remilia to react when she finds out Meiling told Flandre the truth without consulting her?
Point is that flan chose to go to meiling. She coulda confronted remi directly, but she didn't want to.
Maybe a good way to satisfy both sides of the Meiling/Remilia debate would be to have Meiling give Flan an abbreviated explanation of the truth, and have Remilia give her the full story? Just a thought.


[X] Just hold her tightly. She just needs somebody right now.
[X] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.

Of the options presented to us, I think these will be best for now. A talk with Remilia can come later, like in the morning. ...Whatever qualifies as "morning" to a vampire, anyway.
[X] Just hold her tightly. She just needs somebody right now.
[X] Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
-[X] Assure Flandre that no humans were hurt in the making of her dinner.
[x] Wake up Remilia. She needs to talk to her sister about this.
-[x] Regardless, if Remilia won't do it, then it falls to you. Time for the truth. This talk's been a long time in coming.
Remilia most likely never had an explaination ready as she likely wouldn't have thought that Flandre would find out. Whatever the case, Flan seems to see her sister as the overly strict one.
File 136536763567.jpg - (70.50KB, 560x560, sweet dreams.jpg) [iqdb]
For a long moment I'm silent, just running my hand through Flandre's hair while trying to think of what to say. I really want to go get Remilia, to sit these two down and make them talk to each other. However, the fact is that Flandre came to me. She trusts me to answer the questions that her own sister might not know how to. I can't betray that trust. And really, Flandre is more stable now than she ever has been. This talk has been a long time in coming.

"...Do you remember the day we met?" I ask Flandre.

She hesitates for a moment, thinking. "Not really. It was so long ago. And my memories are a little hazy back then."

I chuckle. "Not surprising. It was shortly after I came to work here at the mansion. Your sister felt it was important that we be introduced." To be accurate, Remiia wanted me to see exactly why her sister was confined, and boy did I get that lesson loud and clear.

"I don't remember," Flandre remarks, less teary-eyed now that she has something else to focus on. I have a bad feeling that will change soon. "I just... know that at some point I got used to you being here."

"Well, I remember our first meeting," I tell her. "Remilia opened the door, we walked inside, and... well..." Ah, geez, how do I say this?

"...I tried to kill you," says Flandre. It's not a question.

"It was back when you were fully shackled," I say, sighing deeply. "We went inside and you lunged at me, screaming death and all kinds of curses. You weren't stable, and I was an interloper. An intruder. Remilia... she just stood there stoically, looking sad. I just stood there shocked. It was... pretty scary, Flan."

Flandre shudders a little. "I don't really remember those days," she says, very quietly. "I just remember being angry all the time."

"Yeah." I hug Flandre even tighter. "But those days are gone, just remember that."

"...Why didn't I just blow you up?"

"I think you were too far gone to remember that you could," I reply. "It was only once you started to calm down that you started experimenting with your power.

"That I remember," Flandre sighs, "Sis had my room warded so I couldn't go out, couldn't blow the mansion up..."

"And couldn't hurt yourself," I add, "Remilia hated it. I hated it. Patchouli and Sakuya hated it when they came along, too. But we really didn't have much choice."

Flandre nods again, considering. "I think I understand where you're going with this. But keep talking, okay? I like the sound of your voice."

I chuckle and hug her again. Flan still hasn't looked up at me. "Well, over time you calmed down. I talked with you a little bit, and you came to accept me. Even started talking to me. As you got older, you stabilized even further... and, well, you eventually grew into who you are today. A little buggy, but in control of yourself enough to know when you're having an episode."

"The Flandre alert," she quips, "Yeah, I always run to my room whenever it happens."

"Yeah." For a long moment I'm quiet, not sure how to proceed. Just barge forward, I guess. "We weren't trying to hide it from you, Flan. We just had no idea how to bring it up."

"Afraid of how I'd react?" Flandre's looking at me now. She seems sad, but understanding. It's such a tragedy; when she's in a good frame of mind, Flandre can be just as witty and clever as Remilia. Having a fractured psyche is such a terrible burden to bear.

"Pretty much," I agree. "At first, when you became rational enough to talk to, we were afraid that you'd try to feed upon people who came to visit and be too... forceful." Flandre shudders a little at that. "Or that you'd feel hungry while in one of your moods, break out, and go on a rampage." Flandre shudders even harder at that. "Then, when you had really good control over yourself... we just didn't know how to tell you. How to walk up and say 'Flandre, you drink people's blood.'"

"I would've flipped out," Flandre agrees, "Probably would have stayed in my room and never come out. And if it had been the earlier me..." she closes her eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, you were right to keep quiet about it." Flandre hesitates, and adds, very quietly: "Even if I hate it."

I smile sadly. "You and me both."

We just lie there for a while, the two of us. Flandre thinking, me just being there for her. "Will I ever be normal?" she finally asks.

"I think so," I reply. I could make some speech about how no-one is really 'normal,' but that's not really important here. We both know what she means. "You've gotten a lot better lately. Your mood swings between being enraged and childlike are much less pronounced. You're more YOU than you ever have been."

"I feel better," she agrees, "And it's easier to control my anger." Flandre opens her eyes and thinks. "Is there anything that can be done?"

"We're working on it, Flandre. We always have been."

Flandre nods and is silent for a moment. "...Where does the blood come from?"

"In the old days, Remilia fed on peasants," I reply. "It was a different time. In exchange for her protection, the villagers would send some of their own to her home for a few days, on a rotation. Vampires don't need to feed too heavily, your sister even less so, so she didn't cause too much harm that way." I sigh. "On the other hand, she takes a weird pride out of being a messy eater."

"Bleugh." Flandre makes a face.

I snort. "Tell me about it. Anyway, she'd also feed upon the vampire hunters who came after her. Self-defense." I sigh again. "Your sister has done some things she isn't proud of, Flandre. All I can say in her defense is that those were different times, and she did what she had to. These days she doesn't have to, so she doesn't. But I did act as her conscience for a really long time."

Flandre looks surprised at this. "Really?"

"Oh, your sister and I go way, way back," I tell her. "I've been here longer than anyone, and I'm the only person here to have told Remilia 'no' to her face. It hasn't always ended well. She's thrown me out a couple of times, but we always make up later."

Flandre looks absolutely stunned. "Are you serious?!"

"Completely. I'm not as strong as she is, but there's a few artifacts I keep stashed away that make up the difference. Including my old spear. I've stood up to your sister when I felt she's gone too far, something Patchy and Sakuya have never done. I almost did it during the mist incident, too." I sigh. "Something a lot of people don't know. I had a reputation as a second-rate youkai for a long time."

"I think you're strong. I can feel it," Flandre tells me encouragingly.

I smile back. "I know. I've started to remember that lately." My smile turns teasing. "Just be careful of what you feel, okay? I do have personal space."

"Hey!" Flandre blushes indignantly, "I'm not like that!" I start laughing at he pouting face and after a moment Flandre joins me. It's good to see her relaxed again. "Hey, Meiling? I don't wanna hurt anybody. Really."

"I know, Flandre."

"So... if things are different now, where does the blood come from?"

I shrug. "Eientei. Apparently Yagokoro has some sort of machine to produce it from cloned stocks. When we came here, Remilia signed a treaty and Yukari started supplying her with Eientei's help. There's a storage device in the basement, and it's huge."

"Oh." Flandre nods. "Well, that's good. I'm glad." She looks at me. "Hey, you know? You're amazing. Smart, pretty, kind, strong... if you were a guy, I'd go for you in a heartbeat."

I smirk. "If you were a guy, people would look at me funny if that happened."

"Eh. I like being a girl." Flandre shrugs. "It means I can do this with no questions asked." She snuggles up tight to me.

I giggle. "Flandre? What are you doing?" I ask sweetly.

"No. Questions. Asked." Flandre says with mock sternness. We both laugh a little. "Thank you for being my friend, Meiling."

I hug her tightly. "Pleasure's all mine, Flan."

"G'night, Meiling."

"Good night, Flan."

Flandre sleeps like a baby after that.


The next morning, after getting dressed, Flandre insists that I show her the mansion's blood-storage device and explain how it works to her. I do so, and also demonstrate how the blood is cooked into her food. After some thoughtful chewing, Flandre takes a glass and decends into the basement. She returns with a glass full of blood and slowly starts to drink.

Then Remilia walks into the dining room.

She freezes in place, staring at Flandre, staring at her drink. She sniffs the air, and keeps staring, eyes never leaving her sister. Flandre looks back innocently. After a moment, Remilia finds her voice. "Flandre dear? What are you drinking?"

Flandre shrugs. "Tomato juice." She goes back to her drink.

Remilia stares at her sister, who says nothing. She looks at me, but I say nothing. There is so much she wants to say, but it is at war with the part of her that isn't certain, the part of her that is afraid of telling Flandre the truth for fear of how she'll act. Regrettably, Remilia has no idea whatsoever that Flandre is messing with her, and succeeding admirably.

"Well, enjoy!" Remilia says a little too quickly, and hurriedly retreats from the room. Flandre grins, a little smug.

"I have to get back at her a little, don't I?" she asks me.

And so the Mansion began to feel the terror that was Flandre's prankish sense of humor. Poor Remilia.


Good news! Flandre's mental health can now be rated at around 90%. She's started to wander the mansion grounds, but doesn't go beyond the walls- just in case. She still isn't perfect, but it's a big improvement.

Sadly, it appears that Flandre might be a bit of a troll.

Anyway, choose one:

[ ] Meiling goes out for a drink.
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.

(I actually have some more ideas, but want to get these out of the way first.)
[ ] Girls night out

Because Meiling teasing them Sakuya and Yuuka is great stuff.

Also, Flan is adorable.
[ ] Meiling goes out for a drink.

Bartender, your time is nigh.
[X] Girls' night out in the city.
[x ] Meiling goes out for a drink.

Came down to coin toss.

I certainly wouldn't be against a pairing with the lovely Yuuka or Sakuya, but the bartender thing is gonna nag at the back of my head. I just gotta know.

Who knows, maybe he might just be a buddy Meiling can talk to.
[x] Girls' night out in the city.
[x] Meiling goes out for a drink.

Meiling gets more character development. From a joke character to a dependable bigger sister. Good work Keymaster.

Only two choices left so I guess it does not really matter which one I pick.
[X] Meiling goes out for a drink.

Bartenders give awesome advice. At least, they do when the laws of narrative are in effect.
[ ] Girls night out in the city.

The bartender's gay anyway.

I was surprised by the update, mostly because the whole "We were just afraid" thing didn't settle with me right. I thought it would go with more, "We wanted you to grow up normal and happy. A young girl shouldn't have to worry herself about drinking blood and macabre things, even if she is a vampire."
[x] Meiling goes out for a drink.
[x ] Meiling goes out for a drink.
I just want to see the bartender again.

I'd say that they were as much afraid for Flandre, as afraid of what might could happen, if that makes sense.
[x] Meiling goes out for a drink.
[x] Girls' night out in the city.

I guess I just feel contrary today.
[x] Girls' night out in the city.

A bit of a troll? I guess getting drunk increases her troll-ness then.
[x] Meiling goes out for a drink.
Is there any hope of Meiling finding a guy? I at least want a shot at it, even if we fuck it up.
[x] Meiling goes out for a drink.

Solo time spent at the bottom of a bottle, has chance for encounter (probably bartender but still)
[X] Meiling goes out for a drink.
[X] Girls' night out in the city.

I see No Reason why we can't combine these two awesome ideas. Meiling goes out for a Drink, spontaneous Girls Night Out with her previous Drinking buddies, potential Fun Times happen!
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I kinda want to see her meet an outsider, like a CYOA protagonist but from the opposite perspective. ...But I'm also leaning towards Sakuya, so I dunno.
[c] Meiling goes out for a drink.

Congratulations on having the fastest-growing story in the site, Keymaster. Now I need to read the previous updates.
Okay, gonna call it for Meiling going for a drink. Gonna take some time to mull this one over, then start writing.
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I walk through the hallways of the mansion, feeling curious. Reimu came to visit Remilia today, and from what I can tell, they're in one of the sitting rooms, just... being together. Of course, I should really leave them be. They deserve their time alone, and I have no right to disturb them. So I won't.

Instead, I'll just peek a little. Just a tad. Just to see how far their relationship has gone. I mean, I'll look away if they're up to anything. I'll even know to post a couple of reliable fairies as guards so that no one bothers them. Right. There's nothing at all indecent about a little healthy curiosity. At all.

Satisfied by my rationalizLOGIC. I mean LOGIC. I wander down the hallways, passing by Sakuya as she heads the other way. I smile at her. She smiles back. I wink at her. She blushes and stumbles. I put a little sway into my walk. She gapes at me as I walk down the hallway.

Oh, that is just so fun!

Anyway, the sitting room holding Remilia and Reimu has its doors wide open, so it seems I'm not interrupting anything too personal. A tad disappointing, but probably just as well. So it probably won't hurt if I peek in for a quick look, right? Right. I look around the door frame and see...

Reimu is fast asleep, resting her head in Remilia's lap. The shrine maiden has a look of contented, peaceful slumber on her face, while Remilia smiles down at her gently, a relaxed, happy expression on her face. As Remilia strokes Reimu's hair, the miko sighs in her sleep, stretching out slightly. In the gentle illumination of the room, the whole scene looks so serene, so peaceful. I find a smile crossing my face, feeling blessed to bear witness to this precious moment between the two of them.

And that's when Flandre walks in, carrying some props.

"Sister! Reimu!" she says loudly, jolting the two out of their peaceful reverie, "I'm glad I caught you! I wanted to give you a presentation that I think will be of some help to you!"

Remilia stares at her sister while Reimu hurriedly rubs her eyes, trying to wake up. "Flandre, what are you-"

"I'm deeply concerned," Flandre explains, setting up a stand and some sort of visual aids. "The two of you are moving so slowly, which is of concern to me as both a member of the Scarlet family and a resident of Gensokyo."

"What are you-" Reimu begins, but stops when Flandre shows her first slide. I can't see what it is. I don't really need to. The expression on Reimu and Remilia's face tells me everything I need to know. The blushing. The embarrassment and horror. The vague intrigue.

Judging by Flan's look of satisfaction, she's messing with them with all of the force that she can muster. Judging by their expressions, she is succeeding.

"So," Flan tells them, "Let's start with positions-" then Reimu and Remilia start screaming, and I decide to stay at my post today.


Back at my post, it takes a couple of minutes to notice Yuuka, gazing at me longingly from around the corner of the wall. With a giggle, I wave to her. "Hi Yuuka! Wanna come talk to me?" Yuuka just blushes and waves shyly. Huh. Why the blush...?

Oh yeah. That show I gave her. Hmmm.

I smile at Yuuka. She smiles back. I stretch a little bit. Her eyes get very wide. I wink at her. She stares for a moment, then passes out.

...This is so much fun.

My thoughts are interrupted by a great deal of shouting from high above. Looking up, I see what looks to be Aya Shameimaru, laughing maniacally while being chased by a force of wolf tengu, Momiji leading them and shouting angrily. Oh god, she's gotten loose...

Behind me, I hear a great deal more shouting. Looking over my shoulder, I see Reimu and Remilia running in terror from Flandre, who has a few grinning fairies holding up diagrams while she shouts out descriptions. Very vivid descriptions, in fact.

Runaway rogue tengu above me. Flandre going prank-happy (but it's probably not all prank) behind me. And I'm at the center of it all.


It's such a nice day for a visit to the village. Maybe I'll get a drink.


After flying away from the mansion at high speed, I land in the human village and make my way to that one bar I'm familiar with. The one where I was insulted the one time, and had a hell of a good time with friends the other. I just make it to the bar when I recognize the figure standing in front of it. Ran Yakumo, the kitsune. What is she doing here? And what is with her expression?

"Miss Yakumo?" I ask hesitantly.

She turns to me wearily. "Oh, hello. Miss Hong, right?"

I nod. "Is something wrong? You seem a little..." I wave my hands, searching for the right word.

"Exasperated? Weary? Fed-up? Tired? Faintly disgusted?" the fox-woman suggests.


She sighs. "Lady Yukari is within, getting ridiculously drunk and desperately fishing for sympathy to no avail."

I nod slowly. The gap hag on a depressed bender? "...Because of Reimu or Cirno?"

"Yes to both." Ran rolls her eyes. "You know what? I wash my hands of this. I'm going home, I'm doing my chores, and I'll come drag her home later, when she's unconscious. My advice? Keep your distance and avoid her pity-fest." With the demeanor of the long-suffering, Ran turns away and walks off, shaking her head. Honestly, I have to wonder what it's like serving someone like Yukari. Probably not all fun and games, judging from Ran's behavior. Anyway, avoid Yukari while securing alcohol. Gotcha.

I walk into the bar and glance around. Pretty sparse today. A couple of patrons are at tables, with everyone giving one table in particular a very wide berth. A table holding a familiar blonde woman with a purple dress, currently face-down and surrounded by bottles. Yeaaaahhh, I'm staying away from that.

Instead, I head over to the bar and sit down, the bartender glancing over at me before smiling. "Welcome back. I was afraid you'd never be back after the way Kenji treated you."

I blink in confusion. "Have we met?" He does look a little familiar, but I can't quite place him...

The man shrugs. "Not directly, and it was several weeks ago that I saw you. On the other hand, I'm good with faces, and you do kinda stand out. Remember the party from a few weeks ago?"

I snap my fingers, remembering. "Right! You were the bartender that night! And you were there when, uh..."

"Yeah," he rolls his eyes in disgust. "I was there when Kenji showed himself to be a total, complete, and utter tool." He looks at me seriously. "I am really sorry about that, by the way. Kenji is... well, dumb. He totally had it coming, what you said to him, and I let him know it, too. I still don't think he knows what he did wrong."

I snort. "Tough. I have no interest in dealing with that jerk ever again."

The bartender smiles. "Eh, you're better off. Pretty lady like you? You can do lots better than a guy like that."

I giggle. "Coming on to your patrons?"

He chuckles and shakes his head definitively. "No, ma'am. I stay out of that game in Gensokyo. Little too dangerous to play, know what I mean?"


I look at him consideringly. He's not from Gensokyo, I can tell that much from his appearance. I can't place his accent for the life of me. An Outsider, but from where?

"Meiling Hong," I tell him.

"Albrecht Willis," he nods to me. "So, Miss Hong. Are you just here for some barside therapy, or can I offer you something to drink?" He smiles.

Drink order:
[ ] Something non-alcoholic.
[ ] Something mildly alcoholic.
[ ] Something hard as rock.
[ ] Write-in? (No big deal. Feel free to pick Meiling's poison if you want to, I'll be vague otherwise)
[x] "You seem like the kind of guy who knows what a lady wants"

Let him choose what she has to drink.
[X] Bourbon, on the rocks.

Get the Dragon as drunk as possible.
[X] Something mildly alcoholic.

Haven't really Done anything that would necessitate the Hard Stuff, and Not drinking Alcohol at a bar is jut tacky . Bring on the Kaluha and Cream!
[x] Something mildly alcoholic.
[X] Something mildly alcoholic.

I don't know my alcohol
[x] Something hard as rock.
Bourbon is acceptable but who knows what she likes?
[ ] Something hard as rock.

Maximum comedy potential.
[ ] Mildly alcoholic

Heed the warning of the Yakumo, lest we end up buried in a pile of glass and sorrow.

[ ] Kahlua sounds good. Dat Coffee Licquour
Well If its summer in Gensokyo I would go with Something Gin or Rum based cause those are always good warm weather drinks. as for what to actually drink I will have to say


Simple and tasty.
[X] Dry martini. Wait... three measures of Gordon's; one of vodka; half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it over ice, and add a thin slice of lemon peel.
Man, Meiling just doesn't strike me as a Vesper girl. Not only is it a lot of booze, Gordon's is pretty mediocre in terms of gin. if we are going gin drinks, I would say something like a Tom Collins, or a Gin Fizz, or even just a normal Gin Martini would fit better.
[X] Something mildly alcoholic.

Some buzz but not completely hammered.
A shot of vodka with a rum chaser. Then we'll buy the bottle.
[X] Something mildly alcoholic.
[x] Cisco, assuming they're allowed to serve that.
[X] Absinthe
Prepare to meet the green fairy.
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"Oh, something mildly alcoholic would be nice," I tell him. "I don't need to get blitzed or anything." I glance over my shoulder at Yukari. "...Unlike some people, apparently."

Albrecht snorts. "Tell me about it. You didn't have her trying to mope in your general direction, looking for pity. How about kahlua and cream?"

"Sounds good," I shrug. "So, Yukari was looking for pity from the bartender? Bet that never happens."

He laughs. "Yeah, it's the traditional role of the bartender to listen to woes and douse them in booze. Speaking of which, here you go." He slides me my drink. "In Yukari's case, we know each other, so she thinks I'm more willing than others to listen to her. I'm not. She can keep her pity parade, to be quite frank."

I blink at this. "You're very matter of fact about it. Most people are a little intimidated by her. Phenomenal mysterious powers, and all that."

"Yeah, a lot of people are," Albrecht says. "I'm not. And I don't intend to start. If Yukari decides that she wants to make an example of me for some stupid infantile reason, let her humiliate herself by stooping that low. She'll have to explain to people that at the end, she couldn't intimidate a humble barkeep."

I'm a little impressed. Most people tread lightly around Yukari. This guy? He just couldn't care less. "So, Albrecht-"

"Al, please."

"Al. How'd you get here, anyway?" You obviously aren't a local."

He chuckles. "It's simultaneously a simple and a complicated story. Short version? I was a barkeeper, on the outside. Yukari staggered in drunk one might, I heard her woes, and she decided she liked me and whisked me here to Gensokyo."

I wince. "That must've been surprising. And terrifying."

"More than a little," he agrees. "And so this drunken magical girl with freaky eyeball portals starts making drunken come-ons to me. The gaps were involved. Little unsettling, you know?"

I nod, sipping at my drink. "What'd you do?"

"I called her an old drunk and walked out of her house. She wasn't expecting that."

I burst into laughter. "You didn't!" He smiles, just nodding. "Wow! So, what happened then?"

"Well, I wandered the forest for a while, trying to find my way to civilization. Then this little girl approached me. Blonde, red eyes. Pretty obviously not human, what with the way she, you know, floated. Also the red eyes, and the way she acted and talked. Was pretty keen an eating me." Al shrugs. "So I shot her in the foot."

I stare. "You what."

"Shot her in the foot," Al confirms. He pats the weapon holstered at his side. "Where I live? You always carry a sidearm. And this little girl was obviously dangerous, and obviously not a normal little girl. So, bullet to the foot. Worked like a charm."

I mull this over. "Rumor has it that youkai are immune to bullets."

"So I've heard. I've come to the conclusion that it's just a rumor they spread." Have to give him that. It's sounds exactly like something the local youkai would say. "Anyway, I made my way to the village, and Yukari shows up giving me that whole 'mysterious gap-lady, you must play by our rules or else, oh and I'm keeping you here for unfathomable reasons of my own' shtick I hear she does."

I nod. "Sounds like Yukari. "What'd you do?"

Al shrugs. "I shot her in the foot. Apparently bullets do work on youkai. Who would'a thought?" I gape at him. "I was in a bad mood, and she was threatening me!" he says defensively.

I start to snicker. The alcohol is doing its job. "I never realized that Yukari could be taken down that easily." I don't bring up DyCirno; sounds like he has enough on Yukari already.

"Eh, I took her by surprise. Anyway, long story short, I took a job here bar tending. It's a lot more interesting here than back home, and I didn't have a whole lot tying me down, so I figured I'd just stick around. And that," he declares extravagantly, "is the fascinating story of Albrecht Willis. Such as it is. Honestly? I don't think the locals, any of them, know what to do with me."

I raise an eyebrow. "And you're not diving headfirst into this world of exciting, available women?"

"Exciting, available, and lovely," Albrecht agrees, "and also temperamental and dangerous. I'm taking a long-term view of things. It's one thing to stand your ground in the face of a hung-over Yakumo. Going looking for trouble? I'm gonna just tend my bar and leave it at that."

I can't argue with the guy. Gensokyo is dangerous at the best of times, and for an outsider? It's amazing he's handled it as well as he has. Nerves of steel this guy. "It's not as bad as all that, though," I insist.

"Nah," he agrees, mixing a drink order for another customer. "Some of the women who come in here are pretty swell. Reisen has her head on straight, and so does Shou. But, they both have a lot of issues back home that makes a relationship with either kind of a tricky prospect." He shrugs. "Chief officer of a temple, and Lunarian flunky. Kinda rough odds, you know?"

I shrug. "Fair enough, but what about Gensokyo in general? Do you have a hard time living here? Adapting?"

He chuckles. "Oh, I'm the outsider, all right. In all ways, shapes, and forms. I don't mind, though. It's like I get a first-hand look at all of the dynamics around here without getting too involved. Besides, this place isn't too dangerous, as long as you stay out of certain spots after dark. Just like a big city back home. And I'm not too bothered by some youkai acting high and mighty because... well, never mind that." He shakes his head. "How about you, Miss Meiling? Need any counseling? It's what I'm here for. Therapy and booze."

I think about it for a moment, then shake my head. "You know what? I really don't. A while back, maybe, but I've gotten over most of my hang-ups. I'm confident in myself. I'm no longer feeling unsteady at the thought of two women having a thing for me." He raises an eyebrow at this. "I know, right? But the thing is... I'm okay with things now. I know who I am, and I like who that is."

He raises an empty glass in toast. "Congratulations. Not many people, in this world or another, can say that."

I smile. "Thanks." My smile broadens. "Does this mean I have a better chance than Reisen or Shou?" I raise an eyebrow.

Al sucks on his teeth. "Tempting, Miss Hong, incredibly tempting. You're just about every man's dream girl, to be honest. But I can't help but remember that you make your home in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, home to some fairly dangerous vampires, and I can only assume that these two women who hold you in their heart are equally dangerous."

I shift uncomfortably. "...The mansion isn't THAT dangerous," I mumble, knowing full well that he has a point. Koakuma at the very least would pounce on him for the simple virtue of being a man. I don't even want to guess at what Sakuya and Yuuka would do. I sigh wearily. "It's hard to be a woman in Gensokyo."

"Try being a man in Gensokyo," he remarks.

"Point taken." I take another drink. "So. Why exactly are you not bothered by youkai acting smug and superior? I know there are a few that like to pull that act, the tengu among them, but you're okay with it?"

Albrecht hesitates. "Well... you know why humans exist in a preserve specifically set aside for youkai, right?"

I shrug. "Gensokyo is a preserve for youkai that are no longer able to survive in the outside world. Humanity exists here to provide the belief they need. It's fairly common knowledge."

"Mmm," Al muses, focusing on his polishing. "It is common knowledge. It's debatable whether youkai came here only due to declining belief, or due to mankind's increasing ability to defend itself. It depends on who you ask, though I understand Miss Futatsuiwa had no trouble on the outside." I shrug. I certainly am not dependent on faith to survive, though I'm a bit of an anomaly in Gensokyo. Youkai is a pretty catch-all word, after all.

"But why would humanity agree to be here in the first place?" Albrecht continues. "The Hakurei maiden can send people to the outside. If people here truly resent the youkai, why not just leave them to their fate? It's not like the youkai could actually stop it from happening. Their influence only goes so far."

I mull it over. "Because it's their home?"

"Now, maybe," Albrecht agrees, "But there are those that claim that the Hakurei line was at least in part responsible for creating the boundary in the first place. Why would they do that, when the end result would be a bunch of proud hunters of youkai being effectively domesticated?" I look at him, curious. Where is he going with this? "Of course, maybe those hunters of old were a little frightened as well. Without the youkai, their purpose for being would vanish as well. What value has a hunter with nothing to hunt? Still, sometimes when a youkai passes through town trying to rile people up, I notice the older villagers giving each other a knowing smirk. I have to wonder how much of the old ways are secretly preserved here in Gensokyo. How capable the villagers really are of defending themselves. And much of what happens is genuine fear, and how much is just the villagers humoring the youkai they once drove to the furthest corner of the Earth."

As Albrecht falls silent, I wonder that myself. Reimu is in charge of keeping the balance in Gensokyo, but who says she has to dance to the youkai's tune? She's already proved herself willing and capable of forcefully shutting Yukari up. Literally. And the villagers? If things went truly sour, how capable would they be of defending themselves? How much, if at all, are they simply playing along with the youkai, while secretly keeping their own counsel?

I know that some refer to Gensokyo as a zoo, and generally look at the humans as being the animals. But wouldn't it be an amazing zookeeper who lived in the cage with the animals, keeping a careful eye on them, with the animals completely unaware of who was really in charge?

So who's the zookeeper in Gensokyo?

I'm silent for a moment, finishing my drink. Albrecht looks back at me. "These questions are too hard," I say.

"And THAT is why I stick to tending a bar," he agrees, handing me another kahlua and cream. Almost on cue, a whining voice calls out from her table.

"Albreeeeecht..." Yukari whines, holding up an empty glass.

Albrecht sighs. "And there we have the reason why I sometimes consider having Reimu toss me back across the Border." He picks up a bottle and starts to walk over to Yukari before glancing at me. "Say..." he begins, smiling sweetly, "how would you like me to put all of your drinks on the house?"

"...You want me to get rid of Yukari?" It's pretty obvious what he wants.

Albrecht leans over. "If I go over there, Yukari will start crying into my shirt and trying to feel me up. Simultaneously. Give her a sympathetic ear and get her out of here so she stops scaring off customers? I will owe you BIG." He gives me a hopeful look.

I sigh. Sometimes I'm just too nice for my own good. But I have just enough alcohol in me to not consider this to be a horrible idea. Besides, I'm kind of curious how Yukari has been taking the whole DyCirno thing. With a shrug, I rise to my feet and walk over to the depressed, drunken gap youkai, wondering how to approach her.

[ ] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?
[ ] Sympathetic. You seem sad, is something wrong?
[ ] Blunt. You are drunk, Yukari.


Albrecht is basically my view of a CYOA protagonist who got whisked to Gensokyo, took one look around, and said 'nah.' Then started tending a bar so he could watch things happen without getting too involved.
[x] Sympathetic. Do unto others and all that. Besides, she probably needs a good shoulder After that whole DyCirno incident.

Also, I now want Albrecht's Adventures in Bartending, the CYOA.

Once a protagonist, always a protagonist. Helps that I kind of imagine him as a Bartending Booker DeWitt. One who shaves more often.
[x] Sympathetic. You seem sad, is something wrong?

An interesting view on Gensokyo. I always assumed non-outsiders simply can't get out. Either because A: The Hakurei portal cannot take them or B: Because then all bets would be off and all Youkai would go out with a bang, killing every single human in the land. And Reimu is a single person. Well, that and the bullshit powers some Youkai have. 'Manipulation of Borders'? Really?
[]Shoot her in the foot
[x] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?

Considering we played a minor part in the DyCirno humilliation incident, we should not reopen "old" wounds. Let's pretend it didn't happen at all. But if she gets too clingy we may use it to remind her what's her place. Or in extreme cases, use the tried-and-tested Albretch Method.

Also, what if Albretch was another "winemaker" in Gensokyo who got tired from all the "action" and decided to spend the rest of his life doing something actually related to his job?
[X] Blunt. You are drunk, Yukari.
[x] Sympathetic. You seem sad, is something wrong?

Your take on Gensokyo is interesting.
[x] Sympathetic. You seem sad, is something wrong?
[x] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?
[x] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?
Friendly Meiling is the best Meiling
[x] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?

Someones been reading /blue/

Actually, no, I haven't. Why do you bring it up?
[x] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?
File 136556227743.jpg - (33.46KB, 448x323, Winemaker.jpg) [iqdb]
>Also, what if Albretch was another "winemaker" in Gensokyo who got tired from all the "action" and decided to spend the rest of his life doing something actually related to his job?

Oh you. But I'm interested in reading a story with Albert as its MC/narrator, if Keymaster's interested in writing about him.

[c] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?
[x] Sympathetic. You seem sad, is something wrong?

Well, we're going full counseling here, might as well do it right.

Prepare for cliche, pathetic sob story and "accidental" groping. The last thing we need is Yukari catching the Meiling-bug and start gap-ping away Meiling's unmentionables.
File 136556320019.png - (107.05KB, 397x305, ohmyyes.png) [iqdb]

>gap hag as Meiling's third suitor

That would be downright spectacular. Just imagine the shenanigans.

[X] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?
File 136556459611.png - (121.02KB, 830x1110, 1327637505612.png) [iqdb]

I never thought of it that way.
This is glorious.
I got into this story about 3 days ago when Demetrious brought up about all the right things a writer can do and I have got to say. This right here is one of my all time favorite stories I have ever read. I haven't actively voted in a thread in 2 years, just content to read and see were it leads. But with such a wonderful characterization of Meiling, Flandre, and a Yuuka that's not so "RIP AND TEAR!" Coupled with nice sense of humor but still able to invoke "the feels" (teared up during Flandre's dream updates.) I couldn't help my self any longer.

Anyway now to stop gushing and vote already.

[X] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?
[x] Sympathetic. You seem sad, is something wrong?

I get the feeling if Yukari messed with Meiling it'd start a Yukari vs Yuuka incident.
this is amusing. All of my amusements to you.

[X] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?
[ ] Blunt. You are drunk, Yukari.
Go home Yukari, you're drunk.
[X] Sympathetic. You seem sad, is something wrong?

It's all fun and games until someone gets shot in the foot.
[X] Friendly. How are you, Yukari?

>It's all fun and games until someone gets shot in the foot.

Then it's fucking hilarious
Okay, called for a friendly Meiling. Bit busy today, so update may be a little later than usual. Though I've said that kinda thing before.


Eh, too many suitors make a story awkward... though you have suddenly given me an IDEA.


Sadly, Albrecht's adventures would be pretty dull. Each update, a drunken touhou tries, and fails, to get him in the sack. The final vote would be which touhou finally drags him off for bedtime shenanigans. Interesting in theory, but I dunno if I could make it interesting.
File 136563100243.jpg - (659.82KB, 750x1000, nobody understands her.jpg) [iqdb]
"Hey!" I say brightly to the depressed gap youkai, "How are you doing, Yukari?" Okay, it's a pretty lame lead-in. She's obviously not doing well. But it's all that I can think of to say.

Yukari makes a depressed sound halfway between a whimper and a moan, and gestures to the chair opposite her. Slowly I take a seat, making sure to keep a friendly smile plastered on my face. Okay, she just needs someone to talk to, someone to listen, and then she'll probably stagger back home and give everyone here some peace. I can certainly listen to her for a while, can't I?

Yukari slowly raises her head to look at me. Her eyes are red and bleary, and she's obviously been crying. I start to feel a little sorry for the poor woman. "My life is such a meeeeeeesssss!" Yukari wails loudly.

Aaaaaand there goes all of my sympathy, draining right out of me. Come on, Yukari.

All around me, the various patrons somehow manage to crowd even further away from Yukari's table. Albrecht is studiously not looking our way. Me? I just keep a smile on my face and hand Yukari the bottle I brought over from the bar. Something pricey and heavily alcoholic. I can only imagine what her bar tab is. Sniffling, Yukari takes the bottle and pours herself a glass. Then she slams the glass back and starts drinking directly from the bottle. Classy.

"Easy, Yukari," I tell her, "don't drink yourself into a coma or anything."

" I wanna be in a coma..." she mutters, her voice slurred, "Life sucks." Yukari glances up at me. "I know you. China, right? From th' mansion?"


I force the rage down. She's drunk. She couldn't have intended to push my personal red button. "It's Meiling, Miss Yukari," I reply with a smile.

"Yeah, her. I mean, you," she corrects herself, carefully smacking the side of her head. "Sorry. I've had a few drinks, y'see. Kinda light headed." Her face turns into a childish pout. "And don't call me 'miss.' I'm seventeen. Always have been. Always will be. So there. Just call me Yukari." She hiccups.

Seventeen. Right. Well, no sense provoking the ancient mega-powerful youkai. "Okay, Yukari, what's got you so upset?"

"Everything!" she wails.

I manage to keep a warm smile on my face. I mean, it's one thing to comfort someone, but this woman should be a lot more mature than she's acting. "What's everything?"

Yukari sighs and takes another long drink from her bottle. "Reimu. The ice faar... fairy I mean. Men. Everything." She sniffles. "My life sucks."

"Okay, what's happening with Reimu?" I try.

Yukari visibly sulks and shrinks into herself. "Reimu's bein' a meanie. She locked me up when I showed her how worried I was, and now she spends alla her time with Remilia. I wanna spend time with her too, y'know?" Yukari is struggling to keep her words clear, but with limited success. Oh well.

"I heard from Reimu that you were pressuring her into getting married," I point out.

Yukari looks awkward and uncomfortable. "Well, yeah," she says slowly. "But I didn't mean it like THAT. I was just... worried. About her. And Gensokyo. But mostly her."

I raise an eyebrow. "Yukari, are you sure you were putting her first?"

"YES!" Yukari shouts back. Several people look over at us, and she shrinks back down in embarrassment. "...Yeah," she continues more quietly. "I was. Really. I mean, yeah I'm worried about the bloodline, an' the barrier and everything. But that poor girl's all alone. I thought a husband would be good for her. Give her some company. A family. And also, kinda make me stop worrying about the bloodline, but I had a plan B; for that, if she was willing." Yukari blushes a little bit.

"I see..." where to begin here? "How did you bring this up with her?"

Yukari shifts in her seat a little. "I started lecturin' her about her doob-, dutesh-, DUTIES as a shrine maiden. Then she locked me up for a week." I stare at her blankly. "What?!" she cries, throwing her hands up, "How else was I supposed to bring this up, huh?!"

"...'Reimu, I'm worried about you, and think you need some companionship?'" I suggest, "'Let's go find a husband you'll like so you can be actually happy? No need to rush, you have plenty of time?'" I shrug. "That would have gone over much better, I think."

Yukari blinks. "Oh."

Oh, geeze. Doesn't know how to play gentle, does she? Probably just used to getting all her way all of the time. "Anyway, you don't have to worry about her being lonely. Remilia keeps her very good company, I assure you." Especially with the foot rubs.

However, Yukari's face just crumples at this. "But I wanna play with Reimu tooooo!" she wails. "Besides, the heck with men, I was gonna get her pregnant!"

The bar goes dead silent.



Yukari stops dead, her face going very red, as everyone gapes at her. "Uh... I can control boundaries, right? So, I was gonna do some stuff to myself... assuming Reimu could be brought around... and well, you know. Heheh... heh. But I guess she's seeing Remilia huh? B-but Remilia can't do that sorta thing, so... I'm worried about the bloodline again." Yukari desperately tries to change the subject. "Unless, I guess, they find a boy-toy or something-"

"Actually, Flandre has figured out how to let the two of them produce fully human offspring. So, the bloodline's secure." I tell her this matter-of-factly. Seriously, this woman is weirding me out.

Yukari stares at me for a long moment before faceplanting on the table. " Of course," she mutters, reaching for her bottle. Around us, people are slowly going back to their drinks, ignoring us with the force of sheer determination. Lucky souls.

"Anyway," I say carefully, REALLY wanting to change the subject, "What's this with Cirno?"

"You were there," Yukari grumbles, "You saw what happened. I was humiliated in front of my servants." She tries to drink from her bottle while remaining face-down and fails, finally setting the bottle aside with a weary sigh. "...Alright. I embarrassed myself, there. But Ran has NEVER let me forget it." She covers her head with both hands and moans. "Why did that have to happen?"

"Cirno says you were threatening her," I point out.

"It wasn't like that!" Yukari protests, sitting back up, "I mean, you have this fairy, going around and helping maintain the balance, and I figured it would be good to have her on retainer, you know? Have her deal with awkward situations, that sort of thing!"

"Fair enough," I say, "But why the veiled threats?"

"Er..." Yukari looks awkward again. "...Well, how else was I supposed to get her to help?"

I think about it for a moment. "...'DyCirno, I really did your assistance, please help me?'" I suggest. "Offer to pay her in sweets?"

Yukari blinks. "Oh."

I facepalm. "Okay. So just asking nicely never occurred to you. Right. But here's my big question: how did that happen? You're supposed to be one of the most powerful beings in Gensokyo, so... how?"

Yukari chuckles darkly. "Why miss Meiling, you're asking a very dang*HICCUP*" Interrupted halfway by a particularly loud hiccup, Yukari blushes, looking embarrassed. I stare at her, with a very expression. "...That won't work on you, will it?"

"Sorry. I don't intimidate easily these days," I reply.

"No one does," Yukari sighs, glancing at Albrecht. She pushes her bottle to the side, having finally had enough. "...I have limitations."


"Keep it down!" Yukari hisses, glancing around frantically. "Yeah. But I'll find some way to deny it if you ever tell anyone. Not that too many don't know it already, but whatever." Yukari sighs and leans back in her chair. "My powers let me more or less tamper with reality directly. I can just envision some boundary to tamper with, and there we go! The image of supreme power."

"But?" I prod.

"But it's just an illusion," Yukari says, looking uncomfortable again. "Fitting that the overseer of a land of illusion relies on illusion, I guess. I mean, I'm not weak or anything. But when you push reality too far, it pushes back on you. Hard. So there's a limit to what I can actually do, and if I do too much it drains me completely. There's a reason I have someone like Ran doing so much for me. It's not that I'm lazy. At least, not for the most part. It's that I have limits. Mostly."

I stare at her. "But youkai tend to respect raw strength..."

"...So I have to act like I'm all powerful to keep this place in line. Otherwise, youkai start doing whatever they want and the whole system breaks down. Think Reimu has it rough? Try keeping old and mighty youkai from tearing each other's throats out using nothing more than vague threats. Yagokoro knows better and pretty much ignores me, and I think Kanako's on to me too. This job isn't easy."

"Hence all of the double-dealing you do," I realize. "You need to maneuver people into place or else this whole place goes up in flames."

"Exactly," Yukari says wearily, "God bless Reimu for developing the spellcard system, it makes my life a whole lot easier." Yukari pouts, the alcohol seeming to be draining out of her system. I wonder if she's using her powers right now. "And that's the worst of it! I work so hard to keep everyone in line, and no one appreciates me! Not Reimu, not that little ice fairy, not any of the men here! I mean, aren't I pretty?! I wanna go on dates and be lovey-dovey too! But no man wants me! Not for as long as I've... uh..." Yukari's puppy-dog eyes quickly vanish as she checks her speech, suddenly looking very awkward.

Come to think of it, Yukari's behavior has sometimes truck me as being very artificial. This is probably the most honest she's been in a very long time. I wonder how much 'experience' this woman actually has.

"A-anyway!" she quickly says, "You tell me, Meiling! What's wrong with me, huh? I'm young and beautiful, so why aren't men falling all over me?!" There's that indignant pout, but there are signs of real hurt in Yukari's eyes. I suspect that his has been really bothering her for a while.

Well. I know perfectly well what the problem is here. "Um, Yukari? I think I know what your problem is, but you might not like the answer..."

She waves her hand dismissively. "Oh, go ahead. Let's hear it. I could use some advice in my life."

"Okay then." I take a deep breath. "You're a control freak and nobody trusts you."

Yukari gapes at me. I press on.

"I mean, you talk about how hard you work, and how lonely you are, but consider how you act. Your means of trying to help Reimu basically amounted to bullying her into doing something she didn't want to do. When you wanted to recruit Cirno, your first thought was to threaten her into doing your bidding. Hell, the problem people have with you is that whenever you show up, the first thought in people's minds is 'Oh, it's Yukari. I wander what she's planning?'" I throw my hands up in the air. "I mean, people are so used to you just jerking people around, and treating them like pieces on a board, that they just assume that all you do is manipulate! No one trusts you, so no one wants to get close to you! Throw in all the vague threats you toss out when the going gets rough and, well... nobody really likes you!"

Yukari gapes at me for a long, long moment. I wonder if I said too much? Then she bursts into tears.


"WAAAAAAAHHHH!" Yukari wails, "S-s-s-stop making me out to b-b-b-be a monster! I-I-I have feelings t-too you know!"

"Um, but..." I stammer, "...That is what people think, you know..."

"I KNOW!" Yukari wails even more. Oh geez, people are getting up and leaving. Al is facepalming. I wish he were here instead of me. "Oh god, I know what people think! B-But I'm trying to keep this place in one piece, and I'm TRYING to make things better every day! But it's hard, and I've got these ancient jerks who won't listen, and keep keep bringing up old grudges, and I can only do so much, and I don't know want to dooooo!" Yukari covers her face with both hands. "I just wanna have some sex, is that so wrong?!"

Uh. That was actually pretty moving until the end, there. Still, I have a distraught gap youkai clearing out the bar. I'd better try to calm her down. Carefully, I make my way over to Yukari's side and put my arms around her. She latches on to me almost immediately, sobbing. Gently, I start to rock her from side to side, humming soothingly. "There, there... it's all right... you're not all bad. Just... try talking to people and explaining things to them, alright? No one likes to feel like they're being controlled?"

"I know," Yukari sobs, "I know. I try. I really do. But there's hungry youkai to feed, and a lot of them would just as soon just terrorize and eat humans, and if they start, youkai on the fence will join in, and I'm pretty sure a lot of these humans still know how to fight... I don't want this place to fall apart, Meiling. And, and it's just easier this way... I don't want to intimidate anyone. It's just easier, and this is all so hard."

"Easier isn't always better," I remind her, wondering why I'm acting as counselor to someone so much older and more powerful than I am. "Look, this really isn't working, is it? If you're lonely, maybe you should try a different approach."

"...I should try looking 25?"

"Not what I meant."

"Oh," Yukari sighs, "Yeah, I know. I'll try. It's just... a lot of people don't respond so well to reason. So I've had to coerce them so that nobody dies."

"How well has that worked?" I ask her. Yukari is silent. And so we just stay there, the two of us, with me gently rocking the still partially-drunk Yakumo, while Albrecht carefully watches us. I mouth a message to him: Free drinks for three visits! He nods solemnly. After a while, Yukari gets a hold of herself and stand up.

"I think I'll go home and sleep this off," she mumbles, "Lots of work to do. Um..." she looks at me awkwardly, "Can we keep this between the two of us? It's just... I hear enough from Ran already, and well-"

I pat her shoulder. "Sure. Just between the two of us. I won't breathe a word." I smile reassuringly, and Yukari breathes a sigh of relief.

"Thanks for that. And for being there for me. I appreciate it. Um," Yukari blushes slightly. "You know, you know the way to Mayohiga, and company is always welcome, so if you ever want to come visit-"


"I prefer men, and Sakuya and Yuuka are already after me," I tell her primly.

"Oh." Yukari deflates a little. "Figures. Well, I'll see you later then." Still staggering a little, Yukari makes her way to the door. Albrecht walks up beside me, and we watch her leave in silence. Once it's just the two of us, I turn to look at him.

"You owe me so fucking much for this, Al."

"I know," he sighs.

I really, really hope I don't have another female suitor. Especially not Yukari. Who knows what she'd do?


And there's the other side of the equation. Anyway, there's one more idea that I want to present before going on to the next batch.

[ ] Girls' night out in the city.
[ ] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[ ] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Yuuka or Sakuya

Yeah, Too many suitors for Meiling is hard to manage. But the thought is too funny to not at least consider.
[X] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari.
-[X] Temporary POV shift to Yuuka.

Too funny to ont consider? Try too funny to not vote for.
[X] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari.
-[X] Temporary POV shift to Sakuya.
Sounds amazing, but time maid is better than plant mistress.
[x] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari.
-[x] Temporary POV shift to Yuuka.
[ ] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[ ] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Yuuka or Sakuya

Dude. I cannot pass that up. This gonna be good.
] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[ ] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Yuuka

Oh wow, I did not see this turning out the way it did at all.

This is going to be hilarious.

Albrect does remind me of DeWitt. I can now only hear his voice done by Troy Baker.
[X] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[X] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Flandre

I will turn this into a harem comedy if it's the last thing I do damnit. Also, for added fun, we could try and expand Flandre's wannabe-aunt horizons to Meiling.
[X] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[X] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Flandre

Only one option, awesome writing, etc.
[x] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[x] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Flandre

Poor Meiling. She has yet another powerful ancient Youkai that will lust after her. I somehow feel for Yukari but she still is annoying.

Are you up for writing from Flandres PoV, Keymaster?
[X] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[X] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Yuuka or Sakuya
[x] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[x] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Yuuka

Flower Master of the Four Seasons VS Lady of Boundaries.

One began her life in a game called Touhou: Gensoukyou

The other runs the boundary that surrounds a little land called Gensoukyou

Heaven or Hell, let's rock.
[x] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[x] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Flandre
[x] Girls' night out in the city.

Seeing Yukari like this reminds me of AoS1's Yukari: A rather down to earth variation that can come off as moe at times. Not like the typical aloof chestmaster jerking people around.

But I don't think I can stop the hivemind at this rate adding to Yukari's traumas.

When are you going to introduce some guys that would fit? I know this is sort of your gag, but at the rate you're milking it, it'll run dry in no time.
[x] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari.
-[x] POV shift to Yuuka.

I'd really like to see how Yuuka thinks.

It's moved beyond being a gag. Meiling's sexuality is now a major part of the plot and her character arc. I don't think anyone wants to see her leave Sakuya and Yuuka for OC McGee.
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[x] Girls' night out in the city.

> I don't think anyone wants to see her leave Sakuya and Yuuka for OC McGee.
Now that is just being presumptuous as hell. Some people want HETERO END, even if it is with an OC.
[x] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari.
-[x] Temporary POV shift to Yuuka.
[x] Hand Yukari to Yuyuko. They're girlfriends, right?
Mellow out you two, I doubt he'd want some yuri vs het shitstorm to break out. It's too soon to tell where's going with the romance angle as he has yet to say when the whole "No men" gag is going to end. But I feel it has to end sooner or later as it'll stop being funny eventually, like Meiling being a buttmonkey or Sakuya's pads.

I doubt any romance would be coming up soon as it'll affect the episodic/slice of life format that this story has going.
Oh please let's not start this here.

Guys, looking at the state that Yukari is in I think that she needs some help from Meiling. Next time when they have a Girls night out why not just invite her? She can unwind and temporary forget about her position.
The regular voters are having a normal, calm discussion about the different things they want out of the story. Stop telling people what to talk about, Wiseman.

Honestly? I haven't really decided on that end yet. Albrecht remains a possibility, but I am starting to really like the Sakuya/Yuuka thing... Eh, we'll see.

Anyway. Time for a look inside of Yuuka's mind! Update will be whenever. Probably later than normal. Kinda busy lately.
So Keymaster is like Meiling: he was first sure about pairing the gateguard with a male suitor, but now he's having doubts. Excatly like his own character. Curious, huh?

I'd make a snappy comeback but it's just so true.
Well, they do say life imitates art...
I honestly prefer Sakuya and/or Yuuka to Albrecht at this point; Albrecht has a pretty clear stance of 'not getting involved', whereas the former two are properly developed as characters.

Honestly, reading the threads so far, that's where it seems like it's been going, so...there you go. Not a strong opinion on the direction, but:

[X] Temporary POV shift of some sort.
Albretch shoots little girls and doesn't afraid of anything, he's also a shitty character.
[x] Sakuya and Yuuka run off Yukari. ("She's ours, dammit!")
-[x] OPTIONAL: Temporary POV shift to Flandre

Damn, I can't let this slip by!

Sorry guys. Called it in my last post. Writing now. My fault actually, I guess I wasn't clear enough. Update will be done... eventually.

About the Flandre thing, I considered it long and hard, but I just couldn't make it fit the scenario I had in mind. Hopefully Yuuka will be an acceptable substitute.
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I feel the warm sun on my skin and singing in my veins. The wind stirs my hair and brings the fragrant voices of the flowers to me from the furthest corners of Gensokyo. I drift through the sky, glorying in the warm day and the songs of the sweet flowers around me. However, one gathering of flowers sings out to me the strongest; that which rests gently in the embrace of a certain Scarlet Mansion, and is tended to by a lovely nightie-


Lovely gatekeeper named Meiling, who wears a sheer nightie-


Meiling. Yes, lovely Meiling. So strong, and yet so beautiful and kind. Truly a model of femininity. An ideal woman. Her lovely hair, long limbs, sexy nightie-


Her nightie-


Oh gods! I can't keep it out of my head! I swear, I'm not a stalker or anything, I just wanted to see her! To look at her once more before bed! And I saw... I saw... more than I ever dreamed of seeing in my wildest dreams!

Well, actually, my dreams have been more vivid than that. But that's beside the point. The point is that seeing Meiling dressed, or rather undressed, as that has her stuck in my mind! More than ever!

Who could have ever guessed that love would be so sweet yet so painful?

Oh, why did I kiss her?! Yes, it was sweet, but now I'm just too embarrassed to even go up and talk to her. I mean, I don't think she's angry. She still smiles at me. Even winks companionably at me. Well, except those winks aren't very companionable. More seductive. C-could Meiling be sending me a signal?! I mean, she seems much more confident these days, which is immensely appealing, and she's stretching and working out a lot more in public these days. Almost like she's showing off. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

...And now I'm imagining Meiling stretching and posing while wearing a skin-tight negligee. Wonderful.

...Maybe for a little longer.

Ah, never mind, here's the mansion. Meiling doesn't seem to be on duty yet. Is she tending the gardens? Never mind, I'll settle down and wait for her. I guess I could go looking, but Meiling would know I'm here at once and I'm uncertain as to whether I'm willing to confront her yet. Especially given that as soon as I start talking to her my mind is going to be consumed by that... scene again.

This is ridiculous, really. I am Yuuka Kazami, an ancient and mighty youkai, and I am not used to acting like a shy schoolgirl. Others tremble in my presence, not the other way around! Except that's the problem. isn't it? The fear of others is a lovely drug at first, but it quickly turns sour. Soon enough, you desire someone's companionship, yet there are none left to grant it. Only enemies, rivals, and those who fear you too completely. Meiling was like that too, but she set her fear aside and accepted me. That meant so much to me. Falling for her was the only possible choice. With all she had to offer, how could I not?

I have daydreams, you know. A beautiful dream of showing Meiling the vast fields of flowers I've planted myself. Pleating them in each others hair, running and laughing through the flowers until we fall down, having a picnic, and then just lying there in each others arms. It's a beautiful dream, one I turn to often. I just wonder what it would be like to hold her, to see her eyes gazing warmly into my own. To have her stroke my hair, and gently bring me in for a-

"Yuuka!" A voice hisses in my ear.

"GAH!" I squawk, shocked out of my daydreaming. I whirl around to see the head maid of the mansion, who is looking at me with a slight blush on her face. "Sakuya," I breathe, "You startled me beyond measure, woman!"

"You're drooling," she points out. Embarrassed, I wipe my chin. "You know, this is the part where I should scold you for not talking to Meiling-"

"I-I've been embarrassed!" I protest, waving my hands desperately. "I can't help it! I just don't know what to say!"

"Try being me," Sakuya mutters, "Seeing her there, so close and yet so far..." the maid starts to look off into the distance but shakes herself quickly. "But never mind that. You need to come with me NOW."

I frown. Sakuya is being very insistent. "Why? What has happened?"

Sakuya leans in closer, eyes taking on an almost frightening intensity. "Meiling is gardening."

I raise an eyebrow. "Yes, Sakuya. That is in fact one of her jobs."

"In SPANDEX," the maid finishes.

I stare at her. "What." Sakuya grabs hold of me, and after a split second of extreme disorientation (her time-stopping? Interesting sensation) I find myself peering over the wall at-


Oh my.

Meiling is wearing tight shorts and a tight top.

Green shorts and top.

Tight green spandex shorts and top, that cover everything important and are somehow far more suggestive than nudity could ever be.

I've never actually encountered spandex before, though I've heard of it. And what I see? I like. I like it a lot. If humans invented this, then I have new respect for the people, given the wonders it does for Meiling. And the gatekeeper herself! Hair in a ponytail, smiling and humming, she appears to be listening to some manner of music on one of those music-playing machines. A radio? I'm not too confident on all of the ins-and-outs of outsider technology, but that doesn't matter right now. All that matters is the smiling Meiling, humming as she gardens, and bobbing along to the music.

Bobbing. And swaying. And bouncing.

"This is glorious," I murmur.

"Yes," Sakuya breathes, "She's been doing this more often lately. Do... do you think she's giving us a signal?" I can only hope this is the case.

Incidentally, I rather like Sakuya. She's a lovely woman in her own right, very elegant and pristine. And her powers are truly impressive. Once we got over out rivalry, we found eager allies in one another with a very important mutual interest.

I sigh happily. "She is so beautiful."

"Body and soul," Sakuya agrees, smiling.

"And you know she'd be a wildcat in bed," Yukari notes, giggling. Sakuya and I both blush and giggle at the thought. With her physique, Meiling would be-!

Wait. That wasn't Sakuya.

Slowly the maid and I turn our heads to witness the familiar shape of a certain gap youkai, peeking over the wall alongside us with a blushing smile on her face. "Yukari, what are you doing here?" I ask blankly.

She points excitedly at Meiling. "How could I turn down this? Ohhh, I'd like to spirit her away!"

I feel something dark within me churn, but I force it down. Violence would gain me nothing here. "So, why do you want to-"

"Meiling was there for me the other day," Yukari sighs. "She was so nice, and felt so good when she hugged me!" Comforting others is certainly Meiling's thing. So, Yukari also? I guess I can't blame her, the gatekeeping gardener is certainly desirable. But another rival? I'd just about worked out some sort of understanding with Sakuya, and now this? Well, no sense in getting jealous, I'll just have to step up my game, maybe ask Meiling out on a date-

"I just wanna smack that ass, you know?" Yukari comments with a perverted grin.


No. No, stop. This is pointless. I am not a creature of petty jealousy. Nor am I, reputation notwithstanding, a being of senseless violence, let alone sadism. Yukari didn't mean anything by it, this is just how she expresses herself. I notice Sakuya calming herself down as well. Good, we're on the same page here.

"I really wanna take her home and make her squeal~!" the blushing Yukari giggles.

My eyelid twitches.

"Ohhh, the things I could teach her!" Yukari continues.

Sakuya's eyes turn red.

"And I bet she'd be so cute and embarrassed, but I'd bring her around!" Yukari giggles excitedly.

The worst part is that there isn't any real malice here. This woman honestly has no idea at all how to approach a prospective lover. This is no excuse. She should know better. She is leering at Meiling instead of properly appreciating her, like myself or Sakuya. And on top of that, she speaks of spiriting her away?


Not acceptable.

This woman is unworthy of Meiling! How dare she intrude here, the interloper! I lock eyes with Sakuya, and we nod to one another. Meiling is the loveliest of flowers, who deserves love and admiration! Not this... drooling desire! If anyone will make Meiling happy, it will be one of us, not this ancient hussy!

Yukari looks at the two of us, blinking. "Um... is something wrong, you two?"

Sakuya and I step forward as one, ready to state our case.

[ ] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[ ] This is NOT how you admire a woman. You insult her with your leering, now begone!
[ ] What happens when you combine dual Master Sparks with a hurricane of knives? Let's find out!


[ ] Stay Yuuka.
[ ] Over to Sakuya.
[ ] Back to Meiling.
[ ] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.

Youkai Moe~

And while I like love-struck schoolgirl POV with Yuuka, I want to see it through both pairs of eyes. It's more interesting that way.

[ ] Over to Sakuya.
[ ] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[ ] Over to Sakuya.

We can always switch to violence later.
[ ] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[ ] Over to Sakuya.

Yuuka is adorable. So is Flan. So is everyone.
[x] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[x] Over to Sakuya.

Yukari took enough beating lately. She is not bad at heart and just does not know better so why not try to correct her.
[中] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.

[国] Back to Meiling.
I was thinking some other MC that is more open to dating a Touhou.

[x] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[x] Stay Yuuka.

We should stay Yuuka for full consistency for this episode. If it's not all the way then why bother in the first place?
[X] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[X] Over to Sakuya.

Can't think of anything else to add.
[x] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[x] Stay Yuuka.

Polite. Powerful. About to ram an uncomfortable large laser through someone's gap if they don't back off.
i can second that. And I'm all for not kicking the Gap Puppy anymore
[x] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[x] Over to Sakuya.
Forgot my vote
[x] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[x] Stay Yuuka.
Poor Yukari, she just wants to be loved and respected, but everyone just pushes her away. With energy beams.

Doesn't help that she's got the Asperger's something awful.
[x] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[x] Stay Yuuka.
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China! Hanging out in front of drooling Touhous in spandex, I see!

[x] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[x] Stay Yuuka.

You love her, Yukari, but you can't be doing that, come on.
[X] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
-[X] If she remains Aya-levels of uncooperative, appropriate measures must be taken.
[X] Wait, what's Flandre doing here?

Being handed the whiskey, that's what.
[X] What happens when you combine dual Master Sparks with a hurricane of knives? Let's find out!

Slapstick tidepissing is a go.

[x] Over to Sakuya.
[X] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[X] Over to Sakuya.

What lies beneath that perfect and elegant exterior?
[x] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[x] Stay Yuuka.
[x] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[x] Stay Yuuka.

Not a bad Yuuka. She's a tad bit obsessive though.
[X] Politely correct Yukari. If she can't be mature about this, she will have to leave.
[X] Over to Sakuya.
[X] Stay Yuuka.
Don't really mind which of the other votes wins, so long as it is from Yuuka's POV.

Sakuya's POV, it looks like. Also, reasonable discussion with Yukari.
File 136580935377.png - (636.96KB, 600x708, sakuya's turn.png) [iqdb]
As a maid, one of the first things I learned was composure. It is my job, my duty, to keep a cool head no matter what the situation may be. Whether it's a rude houseguest, young Miss Flandre having one of her episodes, or catching the Mistress and Reimu in a compromising position, one must always keep their cool.

Lady Yakumo is currently sorely testing that composure.

Now, it is not as though I do not understand. Meiling has been here much longer than I have; she was the one who helped me settle in and get used to the mansion, in fact. I've known from the very beginning just how impressive Meiling really is, in her beauty, strength, and everything, really. And yes, I too have been driven to rather shameful lengths by those feelings. It still pains me to remember how cold I was to Meiling for so long after she so gently rejected my advances.

So I can understand how it feels to long for Meiling's touch and perhaps be driven beyond the boundaries of politeness. I also don't care at the moment. Because I do not approve of someone leering at Meiling with such undisguised lewd, lascivious intent. AT ALL. It shames both her and Meiling, and while I don't much care what Yukari does to herself, I will not tolerate Meiling being made into an object in someone's mind. This behavior must be rectified.

However, violence will accomplish nothing here. Never mind Yukari's level of raw might; I'm sure Yuuka and I could overcome her if need be. This is more important. We need to show Meiling how we've grown, how we are willing to earn her heart with our wills and emotions rather than with force.

There is also the fact that one can also make their opponent squirm so much more with words delivered like a stiletto alongside a smile, rather than with violence. It's more satisfying in so many ways, and often more effective. So it is that I lay a gentle hand upon Yuuka's shoulder and favor Yukari with my best smile. "Lady Yakumo? I fear that Yuuka and I must have words with you on an urgent matter."

The gap youkai blinks. "Is there something wrong?"

Yuuka clears her throat, visibly calming, before giving Yukari a warm smile as terrifying as being lowered into a blast furnace. "Indeed," she says cheerily. "Sakuya and I can't help but notice that you're doing things... a little wrong."

"Wrong?" Yukari looks baffled. "All I'm doing is appreciating Meiling. Just like you two!"

I chuckle. "Not quite," I tell her, walking over to place a companionable arm around Yukari's shoulder. Yuuka takes the other side. "Now, Yukari. I want you to imagine this. You're outside, sunbathing let's say. All of a sudden you look to the side to see several men staring at you, leering at you, even drooling. How does this make you feel." Surely Yukari can be made to see that beauty must be appreciated carefully...

She thinks about it for a moment. "It would make me feel... excited and happy!" she says cheerfully. "Ahhh, the thought of all those men staring at me, wishing they could touch me! It makes me feel pretty just thinking about it!"


"Oh, don't get me wrong!" Yukari says seriously. "I wouldn't let them do anything. But just looking is fine, isn't it?"

"Well, it's how they're looking at you that's the problem," I try desperately. "Can you really say that you would be content to be stared at like... like a peace of meat?"

Yukari looks confused. "Well, technically I am a piece of meat, but I'm sure that's not what you're saying. Where are you going with this, exactly?"

"I'm saying that not everyone like being looked at like that!" I exclaim. What is wrong with this woman?!

After a moment of thought, Yukari shrugs. "I don't get it."

How can some one so powerful and intelligent be so thick?

"Let's try another approach," Yuuka suggests. "Yukari. Meiling is a lovely flower, to be sure. And of course, it's natural to want to appreciate such a bloom."

"Which is why we're all here. To watch her... dance in the wind, so to speak." Yukari agrees.

Yuuka nods, pleased. "Exactly! To watch her... dance..." Yuuka trails off, and the three of us peer over the wall. Oh. Oh my. Meiling is actually dancing to the music now. She's so smiling and energetic... and bouncy... and swaying her hips and gyrating NO STOP SAKUYA.

That's enough, me! Yes, it's a tempting thought to stop time just long enough to cop a feel or steal a kiss, and yes I've thought of it many a time, but such prizes are only to be given out freely by Meiling, not stolen like a base thief! I jerk the three of us away from the sight. "You were saying, Yuuka?" I prod.

"Ah... yes!" Yuuka comes back to herself. "As I was saying, it is all well and good to appreciate someone you care for. But there are ways to go about it, Yukari. Good ways, and bad ways. Appreciation of a flower is one thing. Hungering to take a bloom home and do things to it that would please only yourself, heedless of its desires, is not the way to show love."

Yukari nods slowly. "So, I should find out Meiling's kinks and play to those? Wow, you two don't pull any punches!" She giggles and Yuuka and I start blushing. We were most certainly not implying anything of the sort! W-What is wrong with this woman?!

I take a deep breath and rub my face. She just doesn't understand. Certainly, relations of various sorts are never far from my mind when I think of Meiling. How could they not be?! But my dreams are far more wholesome than the fantasies Yukari giggles to. All I want is to be able to brush out Meiling's soft, lustrous hair... to help her pick out flattering clothing. To see her delighted face as she tries out a new recipe I put my heart and soul into. Just to relax safely in Meiling's strong, protecting arms...

And this... this HUSSY makes it sound like it's all about lust?! Unacceptable! I'll-

No. No, stop. This helps nothing. Breathe, Sakuya. Deep breaths. You need to make Yukari understand. You have to make her see just how precious Meiling truly is. So be honest.

I slowly walk away from the two of them. "Meiling... is a work of art," I tell Yukari. Both she and Yuuka perk up at this, listening closely. "From the fine curves of her body, to the gentle flow of her hair. The warmth of her smile is matched only by the pure warmth of her heart. She is strong. She cares, truly and deeply. When she is happy, one can not help but feel happy with her. When she is sad, it is a tragedy, and one wants to comfort her. She is one of those people who can move you to the depths of your soul." I turn around, smiling. "Yukari, Meiling is living art. A person who deserves far more than to be lusted after in so base a fashion."

Yukari is silent for a moment, considering my words. She slowly walks away, looking at the wall beyond which waits Meiling, then at the sky, then back to the two of us. Slowly, Yukari takes a deep breath. "I call bullshit," she tells us.

We can only gape in disbelief.

"Not about your descriptions of Meiling," she hurries to add, "Those are spot on. She truly is marvelous. I just mean every other word out of your mouths." Yukari glares at us, unimpressed. "Your mouths say 'You aren't treating her like a lady!' but the meaning behind them is quite clear. You're just telling me to keep away from 'your girl,' aren't you?"

"Th-that isn't true at all!" I sputter.

"You simply aren't treating her the way she deserves!" Yuuka desperately insists.

"Again: bullshit." Yukari rolls her eyes. "You two are leering at Meiling just as much as I am, and trying to call it art appreciation. The only difference is that I'm being honest about it." Urk. "Well, you know what? Too bad." Yukari puts her hands on her hips and stares at us levelly. "Meiling doesn't belong to the two of you. She can make her own choices, and you two seem to be sitting on your thumbs, too scared to approach her. Well, guess what? I'm not!"

No. She can't be implying-

"And I'm going to continue to be honest. I'm going right over there and telling Meiling how I feel, and then I'm going to ask her for a date."


"And just to be sure Sakuya doesn't cheat with her time-stopping..." Yukari concentrates for a moment, and I feel a strange tingle in the air. It feels... wrong to me, somehow. Yukari sways visibly for a moment before righting herself. "I just reinforced the boundaries of time to seal your abilities, Sakuya. It won't last long, but long enough for me confess my feelings!"


Yukari disappears into a gap.


For a long moment Yuuka and I stand there, gaping at Yukari's pronouncement. Then we hear voices from the other side of the wall.

"Hi, Meiling!" Yukari.

"Oh, Yukari! What can I do for you?" Meiling.

Yuuka and I vault the wall in a panic.

"Meiling, I want to be honest with you," Yukari tells my sweet gatekeeper with focused honesty. You are one of the most wonderful people I have ever been blessed to meet."


"In all honesty, I think I'm... falling for you, a little."

Yukari is blushing! She just confessed! To my Meiling! Our Meiling! No! Work, my powers, work!

"So, would you like to go out with me sometime?"

She asked. She did it. She did what neither Yuuka or I had the strength to do, and she made it look so easy. This cannot be happening. I feel the strength leaving my limbs as I slow to a stop, Yuuka halting next to me and looking equally thunderstruck. Have we been beaten?

Meiling smiles gently. "Thank you, Yukari. I appreciate the sentiment. But I just don't feel the same way. Can we just be friends?"


Meiling's words stab into my heart, and they weren't even directed at me. Rejection by Meiling. A horrible experience that I have experienced once before. Just the thought of it happening again chills me to the bone. And Yukari just received it point-blank to the face. Yukari-


-is running away from Meiling in tears.

"I knew this would happen!" she wails. "Oh, why does no one ever like me back?! All I want is a nice cuddle! Why can't I have someone nice, too?!" And so the crying gap youkai retreats out the front gate, apparently having forgotten that she can just gap away. Distantly I notice the strange tingle disappear; I can probably use my powers again. But all I, and Yuuka, can do is stare at the sight of Yukari retreating into the distance.

Meiling sighs sadly. "Poor woman. I didn't want to hurt her, but I just don't feel that way about her." She glances to the side, noticing us for the first time. "Oh! Hi, Sakuya! Hi, Yuuka!" She waves cheerfully.

Is... is she thrusting her chest out?

I can't speak. Yuuka can't speak. We must speak. Must say something. But too scared of rejection. But want to let her know...

"You look beautiful!" Yuuka blurts out, then runs for the hills. At Meiling's blushing look of surprise, I add:

"You look very sexy like that!"

Why did I say that?!

But Meiling just smiles warmly at me. "Thanks Sakuya!" she says happily. Then she winks at me. I think my heart is about to stop. Oh, she is so lovely. So...

If I stay here another moment, I'm going to make a fool out of myself. "Sorryworktodorightnow!" I blurt out, and freeze time. In the sudden stillness, Meiling's warm smile is frozen on her face. I feel like I could stare at it forever and be happy. I want to reach out, to touch her face and stroke it... but that would be stealing something that should be given to me. No. I must wait for now. To wait for the right moment and hope that Meiling will give me her heart one day. Reluctantly I turn away, turning my thoughts to other duties.

Will I ever hold my dear gatekeeper in my arms?


Okay. Now this is gonna be a tough choice, I know. But I have faith in you guys to ponder the pros and cons carefully, and make a thoughtful selection. Choose wisely.

[ ] Girls' night out in the city.
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.
Obligatory vote.
[X] Girls' night out in the city.
A hard choice indeed. Is there a trick in the order of the vote. If we pick the first one, will there be only one companion? Or does each position has a hidden roll for chance of success for that night? Certainly, our vote must be responsible and carefully calculated.

Okay, I'll stop messing around now.

[X] Girls' night out in the city.
>We need to show Meiling how we've grown, how we are willing to earn her heart with our wills and emotions rather than with force.

How grown up. I like how they are thinking but Yukaris point is just too strong. If they wish to proceed they need to go into the offensive.

[x] Girls' night out in the city.

Meiling sure is messing with them.

[X]Write in
-[X]Girl's night out in the city!
>Yukari is silent for a moment, considering my words. She slowly walks away, looking at the wall beyond which waits Meiling, then at the sky, then back to the two of us. Slowly, Yukari takes a deep breath. "I call bullshit," she tells us.

Hahaha, oh wow. Best line of that post. Bar none.

[x] Girls' night out in the city.
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.
[X] Girls' night out in the city.
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.

I'll pick this one.
[ ] Girls' night out in the city.

Anyone who votes for any of the other options is subhuman filth.
[x] Girls' night out in the city.
Your taste is shit. As such, I'm voting

[x]Girls' night out in the city.
[X] Girls' night out in the city.

Pissing into the tide.
Pathetic. That choice is for betas.

[ ] Girls' night out in the city.
I don't really have a vote, I just wanted to say that this story is awesome, thanks for writing it. Really brightened up my evening to stumble over it!
[X] Girls' night out in the city.

After all the teasing we've been doing? And the Curiosity we've stirred up?

Drunken Shenanigans are Go!
Goddamit! Another good story ruined by a girl night out in the city fan rush. I can only hope OP gives us some choices to pick up the pieces after this all goes to hell in a hand-basket.
[X] Girls' night out in the city.
Girls' night out vote to piss in the tide.
[x] City's night out in the girl

Well that's a /at/ choice right there.
[X] Remilia's affections

LOL why would you assume the girls are having a night out in the city? I swear...it's posts like this that make me yearn for the old THP croud.

[X] Girls' night out in the city.
[x] Girls' night out in the city.

Pissing Against the Tide: The Tide Pisses Back
[X] City girl out in the night.

Wait, I meant-
~Yukarin is best hag
[x] Girls' night out in the city.

I don't have anything witty or sarcastic to say here so you guys can just have this meta-comment-thingy. Yeah. Um.
[x] Outs' city in night the girls.

Because fuck your preestablished rail-roading options.
[X] Ins' story the girl in night.

Only one true choice here.
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It was a close one, but [x] Girls' night out in the city won with a sudden come-from behind victory! But first, something a little different:


Sunbathing is very relaxing. Just lying out in the warm sun, letting it soak into your body, with a gentle breeze caressing your skin, is a great way to spend the afternoon. Especially when you're surrounded by a garden of beautiful flowers, their scents mixing and pleasing your nose like nothing else.

Aside from the relaxation, of course, is the fact that this is a great way to mess around with Yuuka and Sakuya. A bit mean, but I doubt they mind the sight. Besides, I'm starting to understand why girls do this. Their reactions are kinda cute!

As for me, I'm lying down in the middle of the gardens in the smallest green bikini I could find, with some gentle music playing from a CD player. I'm sprawled right out in a deck-chair, and my two would-be suitors should be coming along any minute now...

Okay, I sense Yuuka's presence. There she is, shyly peeking over the wall! And her eyes are widening, and she's blushing... good for her, she didn't faint this time. She's still watching, though.

...Okay, maybe this makes me feel the slightest bit self-conscious. More than a bit self-conscious, really. But it's so worth it.

Okay, there's Sakuya, washing the windows. Not really paying attention to the grounds... wait for it... Okay, she's looking up, aaaaand there's the reaction I was looking for! Stunned look of surprise, slack jaw, and deep blush. She's still polishing on automatic. The way she's going, she'll be doing that absentmindedly for quite a while.

...Yes, this is a bit embarrassing. And yet, it's also somehow... fulfilling? I dunno, I just like how people are actually paying attention to me. It feels good, somehow. I guess that's a little vain of me, but after so long being Gensokyo's buttmonkey it feels sorta good to remind myself that I'm a desirable woman. And somehow, I don't mind those two checking me out. Anyway, time to dig out the suntan lotion-

"Hi Meiling!" Flandre's voice says as I hear something being set down next to me. Curious, I turn to the sound of her voice and-


Oh dear. I may have been a bit of a bad influence on Flandre, judging by the tiny red bathing suit she's wearing. "Flandre, why are you wearing that?" I need to know.

Flandre settles down in her own deck chair. "Because it'll drive Big Sis up the wall when she sees me," the younger vampire explains.

"...You're doing this just to drive her crazy?"

Flandre giggles. "Yep!"

"Isn't the sun bothering you any?"

"Heavy-duty sunscreen I had Marisa send me," Flandre replies, putting on a set of sunglasses. "Speaking of which, I wonder how she's doing with her new wifey?" Flandre giggles again. It's a good question; I'll have to check in on those sometime.

Ah, well, let Flandre have her prank. At least we don't have to worry about Aya snapping any candid pictures or anything. Regardless, I start to slowly, sensuously, spread the lotion all over my body, making sure to give Sakuya and Yuuka a good show. A quick glance shows that, yes, they're still holding position, still drinking in the sight. Yuuka's leaning over the wall, and Sakuya actually has her face pressed against the glass. Looks like I still got it!

"I never knew you were such a tease, Meiling," Flandre comments from my side.

I snort. "After what those two put me through? This is revenge, Flan." Flandre snickers, and I go back to spreading the lotion, starting to struggle with my back-

There's a surge of movement from the wall, and a flicker as Sakuya dematerializes, and the two of them are by my side in an instant. "Can we help you with that, Meiling?!" Sakuya and Yuuka shout in unison, faces red and eyes sparkling.

Um, okay. I wasn't expecting them to respond so fast. I was thinking I'd take care of it myself and politely turn them down when they inevitably came to offer their help, but I seem to have been caught off-guard here.

Not that it's necessarily a bad thing. I... suppose it would be a bit relaxing to just let them help out a little. I mean, it couldn't hurt, right? Right. Let each of them take a part of my back, and... and...


Never mind, problem solved, here comes Remilia! Running at top speed, arms flailing, and her face redder than her eyes. "What are you doing?!" she shrieks at her little sister.

Flandre smiles innocently. "Getting a tan! Wanna join me?"

Remilia is beside herself with horror. "Getting a tan?! You're a vampire for crying out loud! Wh-what if someone sees you in that outfit?!"

Flan tilts her head. "So what? It'll just be someone here at the mansion. Or Miss Yuuka here. It's not like that stupid tengu will take a few pictures without permission."

"That is completely beside the point!" Remilia shouts, panicking. "Y-you are a fine young lady of the House of Scarlet! You most certainly do not prance around in getups like... like... that!"

"But I'm sitting, not prancing-"


Flandre giggles. "Aw, Sis, you're upset over nothing! I mean, wouldn't you want to wear a bathing suit like this for Reimu? And have her wear one too? And take turns rubbing lotion into each others bodies~?" Flandre is grinning now, really driving things home. No two ways about it, I'm a total amateur compared to her.

Remilia has stopped panicking, and is staring into space now, clearly imagining the scene Flandre has portrayed for her. "Uh," she says intelligently.

Flandre holds up a second tiny bathing suit and a bottle of 'special super-strong sunscreen' (according to the label. Looks like Marisa's handwriting). "C'mon Sis, get changed and join me!" she laughs.

Remilai flushes at the sight of the bathing suit and backs away slowly. "Uh... that won't be necessary," she says carefully, "I r-really don't think I'd look good in something like that."

Flandre leaps to her feet. "Aw, don't be so shy! You'd look great! Let me show you! C'MERE!" With a playful yelp, Flandre tackles her sister, and begins tugging at Remilia's dress.

"F-F-Flandre! Stop! W-what are you doing?!" Remilia shrieks, struggling to get away.

"Stop being so shy, Remi! Come on, let's see how you look in this thing!" Flandre is laughing her fool head off.

"Now way, no way, no way! There is no way I'm wearing anything that tiny!" Remilia is frantically trying to get away.

"You can't escape me!" Flandre cheers, and pulses momentarily with magical energy. Then there are four Flandres, all working energetically at putting Remilia into a bikini. I just sit there, staring at the scene of four identical laughing vampires, and their embarrassed, panicking sister. Sakuya and Yuuka stare with me, speechless.

Yep. Flandre does this way better than I ever could. Eh, best to quit while you're ahead. "Well, back to work," I say cheerfully, standing up and walking towards the mansion.

"Eh?! Y-you're just leaving?!" Sakuya cries, looking dismayed. Yuuka seems equally disappointed.

I shrug and point at the struggling tangle of vampires. "I'm just gonna let the sisters have their moment. Anyway, see you two later!" And so I walk away, making sure to put just a little sway in my walk, leaving Yuuka and Sakuya empty-handed and wanting more. More to the point, I put as much distance between myself and the increasingly-panicked Mistress of the Mansion as I possibly can.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!" Remilia screams over her sister's laughter. In the end, Flandre managed to get Remilia into the bathing suit and even kept her outside for a full twenty seconds. Then Remilia broke free and ran like hell, Flandre chasing her the whole time.


A bit later I'm at my post, watching the wind stir the waters of the lake. Fully-clothed, of course. Inside, Flandre is apparently at her sister's door, trying to get the embarrassed Remilia to come out. I can't help but chuckle. Flandre has developed a very teasing way of showing her affection. Poor Remilia has no idea how to handle it.

WIth a flap of her wings, Koakuma settles down next to me. "Well, that was an amusing sight," she comments.

I giggle. "You mean Flandre and Remilia?"

She shrugs. "That too, but I really meant what you were doing with Sakuya and Yuuka."

I sniff. "Merely revenge for everything they put me through. Nothing more."

Koakuma smiles sweetly. "Whatever you say, Mei. But never mind that. You and me, we're going out tonight!" She's smiling eagerly.

"We are?" I ask in surprise.

Koakuma nods excitedly. "Remember that time we were talking with Reisen and Shou? Well, Shou decided to take a trip down to the underground city to scope things out, and Reisen decided to go with her. They've invited us along for a girls' night out, just the four of us!"

"In the underground city?" I'm intrigued despite myself. I've never seen the underground city of the Oni, though stories abound of it. "Wasn't there some sort of agreement there? Those underground stayed underground, and those above ground stayed above ground?"

Koakuma shrugs. "Reimu and Marisa blew that agreement to pieces. Besides, none of us were among the youkai that signed that treaty. How dare some people we don't even know presume to speak for us?" She smiles triumphantly. "The underground city's the biggest place in Gensokyo, and we're gonna go see what's there! Shopping, drinking, partying, you name it! No one's gonna stand in our way!"

Slowly, I begin to smile. "You know what? You're on! This is gonna be great!"

Koakuma nods. "Right! I've already got some fairies to cover for you, so let's hurry! We're meeting Reisen and Shou at the entrance to the underground in an hour, so let's not waste any time!"

With a nod of agreement, we take to the air. The underground awaits.


It begins. What is Meiling's priority on this trip?

[ ] Shopping!
[ ] Sightseeing!
[ ] Partying!
[ ] Sparring with the Oni!
[x] Shopping!

Meiling never does any shopping.
[X] Sightseeing!
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[X] Sparring with the Oni!

We don't want to get rusty.
Oh man, hard one.

I kind of want to say both of these things:

[x] Sparring with the Oni
[x] Shopping

And possibly both at once!? Also, imminent Yuugi- I can't wait to see how you write her.

Get some of those Oni clothes to really mess with Sakua and Yuuka.

And of course, Koakuma is going to drag Meiling to a bar to try and get some Oni-sex.

Might wind up with some busted hips though.

A girls gotta get her outfits.

Let's save the Oni sparring till when we are drunk.
A sober oni fight is just disgraceful.
[x] Sparring with the Oni
mmm, think I'll go with...
[x] Sparring with the Oni
[x] Sightseeing!

I'd think Meiling'd rather see the sites than shop; she's not the shoppaholic type.
[ ] Sightseeing!

I bet there's some crazy shit underground.
[x] Sparring with the Oni!
I want to say one word to you. Just one word.

[X] Sightseeing!

Find the good spots for future visits.
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[x] Sightseeing!

To the palace! Although we already met Koishi.

Because everyone knows Yuugi is the only oni underground.
[x] Sparring with the Oni!
>Get blasted through three walls, a youkai, and a car of cabbages into a store
>"Oh, hey! That's a cute dress! I'll take that"

I like this idea.

Not the cabbages! They were so young, they had so much potential!

And yeah, I was thinking of something like that. Besides, Yuugi has such fine taste in kimonos, I'm sure she'd help out with a search for New Things.

After punching/being punched.
[X] Sparring with the Oni!
-[X] Shopping!

Specifically, the Onis traditional Leopard print bikinis! Teasing with multicultural clothes is go!
[x] Sparring with the Oni
[x] Shopping

Both at once, if possible!
[x]Sparring with Oni
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>I shot her in the foot.
>I shot her in the foot.
>I have to wonder how much of the old ways are secretly preserved here in Gensokyo. How capable the villagers really are of defending themselves. And much of what happens is genuine fear, and how much is just the villagers humoring the youkai they once drove to the furthest corner of the Earth."
GET BACK TO WORK GOOD SIR. I eagerly await your next update, whenever it may be.

[x]Sparring with Oni

Y'know that feeling when you notice a grammatical error in your writing only when someone quotes it a few days later, and you're a total perfectionist? Yeah, that's me right now

*And HOW much of what happens is genuine fear, and how much is blahblahblah.

But I think people gathered that anyway. Also, your reaction image amuses me greatly.

Judging by the sheer number of votes, people are looking forward to this little trip.
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[X] Sparring with Oni
-[X] Shopping
Bravo you magnificent bastard, bravo.
It is surprising how you keep outdoing yourself. Keep it up, Keymaster
(I just realized how awkward that sounds out loud)
[X] Sparring with the Oni!

Why? Because Meiling has longed for a martial art activity like this for long! Everyone is hooked up on danmaku and such so this is an oppertunity for her. And another thing that Meiling doesn't know though is that the 3rd boss is Yuugi just like Meiling. Personaly I think that would be an intresting thing to read about
Calling it now. Meiling's focus will be testing her strength against the mighty inhabitants of the city.

Of course, she'll keep her eyes open for nice things to buy and amazing sights. It just won't be her main interest. And oh yes, there will be partying later on...

Anyway, will update later.
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Some time later, the two of us set down in front of the cavern which leads to the underground. Waiting for us are four figures. Not the expected two, but four. There's Reisen, with a smile on her face, who occasionally gives an uncertain look to the two new attendees. Shou, with an excited, confident smile on her face. Joining us is Iku, who looks very put-upon. And finally there's Tenshi, who looks eager.

"Hey, guys," I greet them, "Iku, Tenshi, you two are coming with us?"

Iku nods. "Yes. You see, I was talking to Shou-"

"I totally want to see the underground!" Tenshi blurts out, actually bouncing on her heels with excitement.

Iku sighs wearily. "As I was saying." She casts a glare at Tenshi, who completely ignores it. "I was talking with Shou, and she informed me of your planned trip to the underground. I felt I could use a brief vacation, and asked to come along."

"The more the merrier," Shou comments, and I nod in agreement.

"Anyway, the Eldest Daughter overheard us and... asked... to come along with us as well." Iku looks at Tenshi again, face betraying a bone-deep weariness.

"She ran up and started saying 'Can I come, can I come, can I come,' over and over again," Shou says knowingly.

"That's totally not what happened!" Tenshi protests.

"Except that it very much is, Eldest Daughter," Iku sighs, "Honestly, if your parents could see your behavior..."

"My parents aren't here," Tenshi says primly, "so it doesn't matter what they think. Never did, really. Anyway, if this is a vacation, stop calling me 'Eldest Daughter!' It's Tenshi! Tenshi!" The celestial actually pouts a little as she says this.

I shrug. "Well, I don't have a problem with it."

"Neither do I," Koakuma puts in. "Why not bring her along?" The succubus has a mischievous glint in her eye, and I can't help but wonder if she has something in mind for Tenshi...

Okay, stupid question. Of course Koa has something in mind. The only question is how dramatic it's going to be.

"I guess that settles it," Shou notes. "Okay, Reisen, do you know our route?"

"Yes," the moon rabbit confirms, "I talked it over with Miss Yamame earlier, though she seems to be out at the moment. Apparently, the path to the city is well marked by certain engravings. All we need to do is follow them, and we'll be fine."

"Then let's go, team!" Tenshi cheers, pointing into the open cave mouth. "To the city! For fun and adventure!" Excited, Tenshi marches into the cave like a soldier marching to battle.

"Is she always like that?" Reisen wonders out loud as the rest of us follow Tenshi into the cave.

Iku sighs yet again. "Don't ask. Just as long as she finds something to do and I don't have to mind her, I really don't care what happens. Hopefully she won't cause too much trouble in a city full of Oni." No one has a response to that.

As we walk through the dark tunnels, Koakuma strikes up a conversation. "So, what does everybody want to do once we reach the city?"

"Well, I for one want to test myself against the Oni," I speak up. "I've heard stories of their vast strength. It would be a good challenge for a warrior such as myself."

"Likewise," Shou agrees. "The Oni are by all accounts fierce warriors. I can't wait to test their mettle for myself." She grins a feral smile. Looks like Shou and I will be seeking out a good challenge.

"I just want to see the sights," Reisen muses. "I wonder what it'll be like... an entire city, glittering in a vast cavern beneath the ground." She giggles. "It's kinda romantic when you think of it that way, you now?"

"Well, it's Oni," Shou points out, "I don't think they're exactly the most romantic of beings. But yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of cool things to check out down there."

Koakuma snorts. "You guys are no fun. I'm going down there to party~!" She smiles broadly. "They say there's no party like an Oni party!"

I think I know just what kind of 'party' Koa is looking for. "Just mind your pelvis, okay? I don't want to have to drag you to Eientei." Koa just grins back at me. Oh boy.

Tenshi looks back at us, confused. "Why would she have to mind her pelvis? Is there some kind of weird dance down there?"

There is a sudden moment of silence in the caverns.

Iku clears her throat. "Yes, Eldes- Tenshi. There is in fact a form of dance wherein one needs to be careful not to injure their... pelvis. Miss Koakuma here wants to participate in this... dance." Koa nods enthusiastically.

"Oh. Cool." Tenshi nods her understanding. "Well, you'll have to show me this dance, Koakuma! Give me a demonstration, okay?" Iku chokes and Koakuma barely holds back her laughter. "Anyway, I wanna do everything down there! Fighting, partying, sightseeing, shopping!" Well, yeah, shopping was pretty much a given. "What are you gonna do, Iku?"

"I am going to find a bar and stay in there," Iku says flatly, "I need it." There is a moment of silence as we forge onward, broken only by Tenshi's cheerful humming. After a moment, Shou leans towards Iku to ask a question:

"So, does she not know-"

"Please don't ask," Ike mutters. WIth a shrug, Shou lets it go.

After a bit more traveling, we come across a vast bridge crossing a chasm in the tunnel. "Okay, this is the bridge Yamame told me about," Reisen notes. "Ah! And that must be the bridgekeeper!" She points out a blonde woman in a rather odd dress. Well, I shouldn't judge. Gensokyo doesn't exactly have a standard dress code or anything. The woman is leaning against the bridge's railing, staring down into the chasm.

As we approach the bridge, I call out to its keeper. "Excuse me! We'd like to cross-"

The woman just jerks her thumb towards the passageway leading deeper into the caverns. "That way. Piss off."

Well now that was a little rude.

"Sheesh, what's your problem?" Tenshi snorts, looking at the woman in annoyance.

The blonde woman glares at Tenshi, her green eyes gleaming in the darkness. "My problem? Do you really want to know what my problem is, you little bitch?"

Tenshi narrows her eyes at the insult for a moment before pausing and seeming to consider. "Actually, now that you ask? Nah, I don't really care." Humming cheerfully again, Tenshi walks past the gaping bridgeguard, having put the woman out of her mind.

"What... is your problem?" the blonde woman chokes out, getting no answer in return. "Hey! Fuck you! Don't ignore me, you blue-headed tart!"

Koakuma snorts. "Lady, you need to get laid. Badly." The bridgeguard whirls on Koakuma, eyes blazing, lips opening for a rebuke, when Tenshi pauses her stride, looking back and asking a question:

"What does 'getting laid' mean?"

Silence rules the bridge.

Tenshi looks on in innocent confusion. The blonde woman slowly turns to stare at her. Koakuma is desperately holding in her laughter, while Iku's face slowly finds her palm. Reisen, Shou and I share a glance. "Come on!" Tenshi insists, "Don't leave me in the dark! What happens when you get laid?"

Shou clears her throat. "It means sex, Tenshi. Koakuma is saying that this woman really needs to have sex."

"Oh." Tenshi nods slowly at this. "What's sex?"

Koakuma starts rolling on the ground, unable to control her laughter. Reisen, Shou and I stare at Tenshi, then at Iku, who looks like she desperately wants to be somewhere else right now. The blonde woman just stares blankly at Tenshi for a long moment before shaking her head. "Nope. Not dealing with this. I'm outta here." This said, the nameless woman simply floats away to someplace under the bridge, leaving all of this behind.

Oh, Tenshi's still waiting for an answer. Right. "I'll tell you later," I promise her. Tenshi just rolls her eyes and stalks off, muttering something about us all being a bunch of weirdoes. In her wake, everyone turns their gaze upon Iku, who is desperately trying to avoid looking anyone in the eyes.

"Iku, why-" Reisen starts.

"There's no reproduction in heaven," Iku says quickly. "So there's no sex, and no real need for Tenshi to learn that sort of thing. Besides, how the hell do you explain that sort of thing to her?" She's blushing deeply. I dunno, even Flandre knows the basics of reproduction. A bit more than the basics, come to think of it.

Shou nods solemnly. "Your heaven sucks," she notes.

"Absolutely," Koakuma agrees. Reisen and I can only nod.

Iku raises an eyebrow. "There's a reason I like to visit Earth, you know," she comments, and walks after Tenshi. The rest of us laugh and move on.


The city. Is. GLORIOUS.

I had no idea something like this even existed in Gensokyo! Row after row of building, all close together, with multicolored lanterns shining rainbow light over everything, and reflecting off of the ceiling of the cavern. A constant bustle of people, with shouts and laughter echoing from all over. And the smells! Smells of spices, of frying meats, of... alcohol. Actually, a whole lot of alcohol. In fact, the rich smell of alcohol seems to be the characteristic scent of this place.

At this very moment, we've emerged from the tunnel directly into the midst of the city, and several of its bulky inhabitants are staring at us. We stare back. The Oni are pretty much exactly what you would expect. Big, muscular, horned humanoids. They're... Oni. What more can I say?

I wave. "Hi there!"

The Oni smile and wave back. "Hi!" They say, more or less all at once. Then they go back about their business as though nothing strange was going on. Friendly people.

As the mob of Oni clears, one in particular remains behind, with a few lingering around her. She's tall and blonde, with a single red horn sticking out of her forehead. I think there's a star design on it, in fact. Saying she's muscular goes without saying; she's an Oni after all. But she manages to pull off the muscular look while still remaining quite feminine; she's actually quite beautiful, and her blue kimono only serves to accentuate that. As she nonchalantly sips her sake, she nonetheless looks over our group with a sharp look in her eye.

She's smart, and I can actually feel her power. Definitely a woman to be reckoned with.

"Well, now," the Oni woman muses, "Visitors! Ain't often we get tourists. So what's a group of ladies from the surface doing down here, eh?"

Iku walks right up to the woman and looks the Oni in the eye, much to her amusement. "I need bar. NOW." Iku tells her flatly.

Okay. She wasn't expecting THAT.

"...The whole city's a bar, more or less," the Oni woman finally manages, "Just pick a building. Any building." And Iku does just that, striding past the stunned Oni and into the first building she sees, closely followed by Koakuma. Judging by the signs, it is indeed a bar. Along with about every other building on the street. That's Oni for you. The woman turns back to the rest of us, looking confused. "Uh..."

"I'm wanna see EVERYTHING!" Tenshi shouts excitedly, and tears off into the city, closely followed by Reisen, who looks just as excited as she does. Once again, the Oni woman watches them disappear into the city.

"...'Kay," she mumbles. "Wasn't expectin' that. So those are tourists, huh?" She turns back to Shou and myself, actually looking a little... disappointed? "So, no one wants a good ol' scrap with us?" Now the rest of her Oni companions look depressed as well.

I raise a hand. "Actually? I'd love a chance to fight an Oni!" Shou nods eagerly.

THAT puts a smile back on the woman's face. "Whew! I was getting worried there for a second! So..." her smile turns feral, "Who wants to mess with the us? What're your names?"

I crack my knuckles, feeling excited. "Meiling Hong, Guardian of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, descendant of the line of dragons."

Shou is practically vibrating with anticipation. "Shou Toramaru, of Myouren Temple, Disciple of Bishamonten."

The Oni woman nods in approval and jerks her thumb at her chest. "Yuugi Hoshiguma, one of the Devas of the Mountain. So, there's me, and there's my boys here," she nods at the four Oni with her, who are stroking their clubs in anticipation. "Who wants a piece of me, and who wants them?"

Shou purses her lips. "Mind if I use my spear?"

Yuugi laughs. "Go right ahead, tiger-lady!"

Shou pulls her spear out of thin air with a flourish. "Then I'll duel the men with clubs. Meiling, you mind having a fistfight with her?"

I look at the grinning Yuugi and feel a similar expression on my own face. "Not one bit."

Yuugi laughs again and downs the rest of her sake in one go before tucking the dish away. "Now THAT'S what I wanna hear! Not an ounce of fear, not even in the face of someone like me!"

I raise an eyebrow and settle into a stance. "You have no idea who I work for, do you?" I chuckle, low and dark. "So, you gonna stand there and boast? Or are you gonna back it up any time soon?"

Yuugi absolutely booms with laughter. "Oh, I LIKE you, girlie! You got some stones on ya!" She cracks her knuckles loudly as Shou and her opponents face off. "So. Hand-to-hand only, then?"

I nod. "I always preferred a good fist-fight over all of the magic in Gensokyo."

Yuugi nods in agreement. "I hear that. All right then. Your move." Yuugi gestures me forward, and I tense for my opening attack.

[ ] Lunge!
[ ] Leap!
[ ] Dive!
[ ] Flip!
[x] Lunge!
Yuugi's straightforward, usually. She's not like Suika with all the mist tricks. Seems to me that she's more the type who fights with overwhelming power, favoring straightforward attacks, grapples and so on.

Getting into a wrestling match with an Oni is a great way to lose. So is charging in, head first. Can't be too fancy, either, or she'll tear Meiling a new one. So!

[x] Leap!

Use those legs and all that agility, Hong Meiling!
[ ] Flip!

Most radical of all combat maneuvers.
[x] Lunge!

I don't think leaping is a good idea as I think Yuugi knows pretty well how to deal with aerial attackers (considering it's the sort of tactics Tengu favor)
[x] Flip!

Flipping always works!

Your logic is flawed, as Yuugi would also know how to deal with ground based attackers. Making lunge! an even worse idea.

According to you, our best bet would be dive or flip. Seeing as Yuugi would have no idea how to deal with aquatic or ninja based attackers respectively.

[X] Flip!
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[X]"Meiling, try to remember the basics of CQC!"

Yuugi's got strength to spare. Why not turn it to our favor? As soon as she charges at us, we'll do a judo throw and smash her in the ground using her own inertia.

But that isn't accepted, I'll just go for [X] Flip!
[X] Flip!

All this caps lock is making my throat hurt, for some reason.
I can't resist.

[X]"Meiling, try to remember the basics of CQC!"

If that doesn't work, then put me down for [X] Flip!
[x]"Meiling, try to remember the basics of CQC!"

If that doesn't work, then put me down for [X] Flip!

With a short flashback please.
[x]"Meiling, try to remember the basics of CQC!"
[X] Flip!
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[X]"Meiling, try to remember the basics of CQC!"
After all, she knows kung-fu

Assuming that means flip her. Yuugi is gonna have super-strength, so we'd be best off with throws.
[X]"Meiling, try to remember the basics of CQC!"

solid reasoning, and potentially amusing outcome.
else-wise >[x] lunge
[X] "Meiling, try to remember the basics of CQC!"
If not,
[X] Flip!

I'm sure she doesn't need to be reminded, but I wanna see what comes of this so bad.
Oh, I REALLY want to accommodate you guys on that write-in. I really, really do. But I just don't know how I'd write it. So, calling it for Flip!

...Although, on second thought, I may be able to refer to it. We'll see. Anyway, gonna take some time to think this one over a little bit. Update later.
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I launch myself at Yuugi, crossing the distance between us at lightning speed. Yuugi grins broadly, launching a punch at me even faster than I can move, with so much power behind it that I can FEEL it pushing the air out of the way.

At the last moment I kick off the ground, nimbly leaping over the Oni woman's punch and flipping over her head, landing behind her-

"What the-"

-and then KICK her with every drop of chi and strength I can put behind it. It hits Yuugi with enough power to crumble walls like old clay.

"GAAAARRGH!" Yuugi is sent sailing by the power of my kick and impacts the stone wall of the cavern, just to the side of the entrance we came from, so hard that she winds up embedded several inches into the rock. She doesn't move. I place my foot against the ground and take a deep breath, while Shou and the other Oni look on in shock. All right! That was a good start.

Then Yuugi calmly pushes herself out of the rock and turns to me with a manic grin on her face, barely affected at all. "HELL YEAH!" she whoops, "That's what I'm talkin' about! Now it's my turn!" Oh crap. I just excited her. Yuugi braces herself against the ground and LUNGES-



...... the world is going by so fast. Look at all the buildings. It's so big underground.

Meiling, do you remember the basics of CQC?

Master, it's martial arts. Everything is CQC.

So, that's a yes, then?

...Hit them and don't get hit yourself?

Precisely. It applies to any situation.

Especially when fighting Oni, who hit hard enough to make you loopy and send you flying across a city.

What must you do in a situation like this then, Meiling? Remember your training.

Ummm... try to avoid getting hit, and use their own strength against them?

Well done. And what do you do when you're about to hit a building?

...Go limp?

Oh wait. I need to go limp right now.


I smash through the doors of what is probably a bar and land on the bar itself, sliding along until I skid to a halt. An Oni wearing a bow-tie looks down at me in curiosity. He must be the bartender. "Sorry about that," I mumble semi-coherently.

He shrugs it off. "Happens all the time," the Oni rumbles, "We're used to it down here. By the way, here comes Yuugi." He points back out the door/hole, and I lean up to see the kimono-clad woman charging my way at a ground speed that would put a sports car to shame. This looks like pain in the making.

Fortunately, I remember my basic training, and exactly how to handle a situation like this. I stagger off of the bar, and settle down into a strange little half-crouch, waiting.

Yuugi laughs at my stance. "Wassa matter, girl? You gotta take a dump?! Here, this'll help!" She launches a gut-shot at me that looks like it could liquefy my internal organs. I let it come... and then grab the fist, flipping over backwards at the same moment, and sending Yuugi flying through the air and through the opposite wall. And the building across the way. And the into one beyond that too. Which collapses and falls on top of Yuugi. As I straighten up to roaring applause from the bar patrons, I wonder distantly how much of an effect having a building fall on you has upon Oni.

As a laughing Yuugi disentangles herself from the wreckage- by punching it out of the way- I reflect that it's probably not much.

"Let's see you try that again!" Yuugi roars, and charges across the distance separating us. I shrug. Sure, why not? As Yuugi lunges and me fist-first again, I spin and send her hurtling past me, totally out of control.

No, strike that. Not totally out of control. Yuugi was expecting my throw this time, and digs her feet into the ground, leaving massive furrows as she arrests her movement. A hard slap on a wall stops her completely, as well as pulverizing the wall itself. She turns to me with a grin. "You really need to try somethin' else little lady!" Of course, I already knew that. Which is why I introduce Yuugi's face to a rainbow-glowing flying kick. As the Oni staggers, I land on the ground and follow through with a blazing flurry of punches, hitting her in all the soft spots, trying hard to ignore the sensation of hitting Oni flesh. It's like trying to punch concrete, only harder.

What finally interrupts me is Yuugi's fist flashing in out of nowhere and getting me in the gut. Followed by a hook that catches me in the jaw and sends me spiraling down the street.

Now, Meiling, I told you to remember the basics!

Go to hell, Master, I'd like to see you try thisOH! I think I saw Koishi!

I fly through an open door and land hard on the floor of another drinking establishment, quickly realizing that I can't breathe and can't think straight. How strong is that woman, anyway?! As I desperately try to suck breath into my lungs, another Oni bartender looks down at me. "Oh, I know how to handle this! Just a sec' there, Miss!" he tells me before quickly scurrying off and running back with a bottle of something which he puts in my mouth-


"That'll get you goin' again!" the bartender laughs, then leaps out of the way. In his place, a grinning Yuugi appears, smiling widely, fist held high to slam down on me. So I do the obvious thing. I curl up, then straighten out vertically, driving both feet into Yuugi's chin in a handstand-kick. Judging my the way she staggers, I'd say she feels it! Yay, me! So, a flip to my feet and-

Oops! Bottle still in my mouth! How embarrassing! I pull it out and fling it at Yuugi, where it smashes against her face! That's funny! It also seems to bring her back around. Not so funny! But Yuugi smiles again, so maybe she thinks it's funnyWHOAH NEVER MIND! Punches! Lots of punches! Coming fast! Too fast! Gotta block! Block a lot! Blocking lots! Duck!

There. Yuugi just launched herself through the wall. I waver slightly on my feet. Wow, that Oni booze is potent! Good thing I know a thing or three about drunken boxing! It's boxing while drunk, you see. I mix it up by doing more than just boxing. I do kicks, too. Anyway, after Yuugi!

I leap out the newest hole in the newest wall just as Yuugi starts to peer in, and grab her horn to stop my motion. "Yeep!" she squeaks, "D-Don't you have any idea what it means to grab an Oni woman's horn?!"

I start driving my knees into her face at turbo-speed. "No, what?"

Yuugi uppercuts me, sending me flying. "NOT A DAMN THING!" She laughs, charging after me. As I hit the ground, I go into a series of backflips to deal with my momentum. Whoops! Charging Oni! Better keep backflipping! All the way down the street! Boy, she's fast! I wind up eventually backflipping into another bar full of Oni, who start cheering at the sudden excitement, and leap on top of the bar. "How many bars are in this city?!" I shout.

"Tons!" Yuugi shouts back, charging. I leap, and she smashes through the bartop, driving her fist right into a keg of booze, which immediately starts leaking its precious contents. The Oni in the bar gasp in collective horror, and with a yelp Yuugi starts slurping it up as it dribbles out. Wow, she's a fast drinker! Meanwhile, I absentmindedly pick up a bottle and start draining it myself. I don't wanna be left out!

Oh wait. I'm drunk already, huh? That stuff sure is potent!

With the keg drained, Yuugi lets out a massive belch and turns to me with a smile. "Whew! Thanks fer waiting!"

"No problem!" I say to her where I'm crouched at her feet, smiling. I unfold into a leaping uppercut, fist pulsing with rainbow energy, which socks Yuugi through the ceiling. I soar after her, focusing on my opponent- Oh hey! There's Shou! She's fighting her Oni, too! And she's got a bottle of something in one hand! And Koishi's following her around, shouting encouragement! Good for her!

Oh, right. Yuugi. As I come up to the reeling Oni woman, I launch into a blinding series of punches, kicks, elbows, knees, you name it. She's fast, though! She actually manages to block a lot of them! But I can tell I'm having an effect! I'm wearing her down...

Then Yuugi somehow lands three punches in the space of a second and sends me flying, spinning high above the city. Oh, hey! There's Reisen! She's having a drink with Yamame! Hi, Reisen!

Bye, Reisen!

Hi Yuugi- BLOCK! Okay, even drunk like this, I can tell that Yuugi is a really good fighter. She's got Oni strength, yes, but she's also got smarts backing it up. She hits hard, hits fast, and knows just where to put each punch. Pretty bare-bones, but when your bones hit like a freight train, that's all you need. Did I mention that each blow I block has enough force to knock me further back in the air? Fast?

Oh hey! A building! It looks like a cathedral! And look at that pretty stained-glass window! It looks like it's coming closer!


Close enough for me to smash through it and land safely against the far wall, feet first! Wow, the wall is cracking from the force!


Oops. There's a pink-haired lady with three eyes gaping at me. I think I broke her window. "Sorry, lady!" I tell her. Then Yuugi lands in the room, laughing.

"MISS HOSHIMGUMA, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" the pink lady screams. I don't think she wants us in her house. Kind of understandable, really. So I launch off the wall and give Yuugi a sparkly kick that sends her flying back towards the city before flying after her. "Sorry, pretty lady!" I shout behind me. I hope she isn't mad!

Yuugi is a little dazed, so I kick her back down towards the city before following after. I think I see Koa being followed by a bunch of Oni. I think she found some guys! Good for her! Hey, Yuugi just grabbed my leg. Not so good! We smash though the roof of another building. That's bad. The room we land in is filled with booze. That's great!

Yuugi and I take a moment to quench our thirst. "Boy, the room sure is rocking a lot!" I manage to slur out.

"It'll do that," says the tipsy looking Oni. We're both distracted for a moment by the sound of cheering from outside. Curious, the two of us float though the roof-

Oh, it's Tenshi! She made a new friend! Some girl with big black wings! Look at them running and laughing and playing together! They're having so much fun! Good for them! Yuugi and I chug our bottles down. "Thass so nisse," I tell her through numb lips.

"Yeah," Yuugi agrees. Then she punches me.

I go through a building. Oh! I have to by one of those tiger-print bikinis! Yuuka and Sakuya'll love it!

Yuugi comes after me and I drop-kick her through another building. I chase after her- Oh hey! It's Iku! And she's dancing on top of a table! Hi Iku! Bye Iku! Yuugi punches me again, and I land in a bunch of bottles. Naturally, I start chugging them, and Yuugi joins in before we start fighting again.

I get the first shot that time! Hooray!

Things get a little fuzzy...


Lots of booze.

Punching. Lots of that.

Lots of people going by at high speed, due to the punching.

Remember the basics of CQC, Meiling!

Yuugi and I laughing together, then fighting, then booze, then fighting, then fighting and booze and laughing.

Yamame and Reisen laughing together. I think we got a room at a motel or something.

Hi Shou! Hi Koishi!

What are those explosions?

Wow, what happened to the city? It's all wrecked. Looks fun!

More booze? Sure!

That lady with the eyes looks unhappy. Booze will fix that!

Koakuma looks happy!

I think I hear Iku singing or something!

Boy I'm tired all of a sudden-


I wake up with a hang-over and wish I was dead.

[ ] Blue Kimono.
[ ] Green dress.
[ ] Pink Skirt.
Yuugi, Koishi, or Satori?

[x]Green dress
[x]Pink skirt

By this point it goes without saying, but your writing continues to impress me. Well done.

Hey, thanks! But uh, only one selection for this choice. Unless you indicate otherwise, I'll just count your first option (green dress).
[x] Pink Skirt.
I'm sure that offering another apology as soon as awake, even when her head feels like its getting cut by a dozen knives, would earn some points... if Pink Skirt managed to avoid all the booze that is.
[x] Blue Kimono

We fought, got drunk, and passed out in each other's arms.

Toss another one on the Meiling harem-wagon.
[x] Pink Skirt.
[ ] Pink Skirt.

I'd like to see more Koishi or Yuugi, but I want to meet Satori properly first.
Quiet you. Yuugis to bro.
[ ] Grey, black, blue, dark red, various greens, anything that's not pink because it clashes with Meiling mini skirt.

Voting no for the green dress because its to similar to the Qipao Meiling already wears.
No to the Kimono because that's just cramping Yuugi's style.
[x] Blue Kimono
[x] Pink Skirt.
[x] Pink Skirt

Apologies are in order. Also, I wanna see his take on Satori.
[X] Pink Skirt.
[x] Green dress.

Earth spiders must make a killing fixing this place all the time.
[x] Pink Skirt.
Tide, pissing against, etc.

[x] Blue Kimono
[x] Blue Kimono

New BFF get.
[x] Pink Skirt.
We aren't likely to have another chance to meet Keymaster's Satori, so why not?
[x] Blue Kimono
[x] Green dress.

Hello Friend and/or Twintailed Catgirl!
[X] Blue Kimono
Bro time.
[X] Blue Kimono
I can't not after that.
[x] Blue Kimono

Well. That was one hell of an update.
[x] Pink Skirt

Maybe Meiling should have used more finese and pressure point stuff when facing off against one of the Oni Devas. Trying to meet one in raw brute strength rarely ends well.

That being said I want to see how Satori is shown.
56454 here, clarifying.

I'd like to vote for
[x]Pink Skirt
since having both is not available.

[X] Blue Kimono

Sure why not.

So . . did we win?
[X] Blue Kimono.
[X] Pink Skirt.

No matter who won, the city's ruined. Pyrric victory.
The posts reveal that this sort of thing is more common than expected.
[x] Blue Kimono
[x] Blue Kimono

Yuugi Friend Get!
[x] Pink Skirt.
[X] Green Dress

Yay, more Koishi!
[X] Blue Kimono
[x] Blue Kimono.drunk people drink to that
[x] Green Dress
[x] Pink Skirt.
[x] Pink Skirt.

That was hell of a battle
...Okay. We have a tie between Blue Kimono and Pink Skirt. First vote after this post for one or the other takes it. Otherwise, I'll just flip a coin when I'm ready to start writing.

Since we're autosaging, next story post will be in thread five.

...You know I honestly thought I wouldn't get past one thread? Go figure.
[x] Blue Kimono

CALLED. Thank you. Update later today.
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