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I cough, wondering just why in the name of all that is holy this has fallen to me. Briefly, I toy with the idea of just telling Sukuna outright than Shanghai is, in all likelihood, not even truly sentient. That she's basically an automaton imprinted with a bit of Alice's personality (one that likes cute things), and is just acting out that program in a particularly weird way.

But I have no idea if this is actuall

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I grin wickedly. "What, and be a third wheel to you sweet little lovebirds? Nah, I think I should head on home and let you two get back to what I interrupted." I wink at Hatate. "Take nice care of her, okay~?"

Hatate squeaks and turns bright red, while Momiji slowly facepalms. "Are you ever going to forget about that?" The wolf asks wearily.

"Not in a hundred years!" I say cheerfully. "Remind me to introduce you two to Yamame; she could show you all kinds of tricks.

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Well, now that I know what her issue is, I might as well have a quick word with the good Sergeant. With a final nod to Katsuo, I hover over to where Kyo carefully makes her way through the forest, eyes constantly sweeping for any trouble. She's a lot more serious-looking than Momiji, but there are still signs of laugh-lines around her mouth. Firmly muscular, but still feminine. Overall, I peg her as being the type to be all business, no nonsense while on the job, but probably cuts loose when off-duty.

"What?" she asks me in a flat voice.

...There's the business side of her,

Thread 1: >>/youkai/22769
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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFiSHlda7-s)

I listen to Reimu's voice carefully, realizing that her mental faculties are rapidly plummeting, and I'm still buried to my neck in the soil. "Can you dig me out now?" I ask quietly.

"Not one of the options!" Reimu shouts, whacking me on the head.

"Ouch..." I whimper.

"Eh, quitcher bitchin," Reimu grumbles. "It was only, like, a single... not-hard-hit thingy to the head and all. So yeah. Anyway!" Reimu belches. "Customer servicizing it is!"

"I already know about customer service!"

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"Hello, Lyrica," Hina says calmly. "It seems that you haven't been doing all that well."

I restrain myself. Hina said it herself; she needs to talk to Lyrica about this. And even if Lyrica has been holding a grudge against Hina, that still holds true. Granted, I'm not too thrilled that she is giving Hina a hard time over this... but I understand her anger. So, I'm just going to step back and let Hina handle things.

Unless Lyrica gets hostile and raises a fist against Hina. Then, I'm stepping in. But not until then.

"Gee, why the fuck would that be?" Lyrica growls, snatching off her sunglasses. I adjust my position to get a better look at her face. Lyrica's eyes are... haunted, for lack of a better term. Eyes that have seen hell, much like the look that was in Hina'

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"OH THANK YOU GODS!" I gasp out, throwing myself onto sweet, beautiful, not-underground earth, before launching myself into the blessedly open sky. Aaaah, that's much better! A crow is not meant to be pent-up underground, after all!

"...You're welcome?" Minoriko says after a moment. Hina giggles. Shizuha groans.

I settle back down to the ground, stretching my wings wide. "Okay, trip underground complete!" I declare. "Next step, off to the shrine, and necessary cleanup!" I look up at the skies. A bit cloudy, but the storm has clearly passed. A bit recently at that, judging by the moisture still on the ground.

"Sounds good," Hina nods. "What then?"

"Well..." I think it over. "Yamame, wanna come with us?" I wink at the spider. "Come on, it's gotta be kinda lonely down in the cave all the time, right?"

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"I just want a pretty girl for my self, is that so wroooooonnnggg?!" Sukuna wails as she slashes wildly at me.

"No it isn't, so stop swinging that thing at me!" I squawk back, narrowly avoiding another strike.

"Not until you stop being a... being a... big meany person!" Sukuna howls, diving at me. As I dodge, I rush past Hina and Yamame, who stare at the spectacle with wide eyes and open mouths.

"A little help?!" I shout at them.

"And now you want to ruin the sanctity of our duel?!" Sukuna screams. "You have no honor!"

Clearly, I can't win with this girl. Alright, then. I have no weapons, talking won't work, and I'm not sure that we can move fast enough to dogpile someone as small as Sukuna. I could run for it outside, but that would leave me somewhat... exposed, to the people in the streets below, something that doesn't really appeal to me.

Ah, but I'm not unarmed, now am I? Of course not! I never leave my fan behind! You never know w

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I groan, feeling all of the resistance flow out of me. This is so weird. Why the hell is a girl a fraction of my age so determined that she's my big sister?! And now she's decided to help out my love life?!

Maybe the local Oni have rubbed off on her. That makes sense.

Still, I don't fight it, mainly because Okuu's dragging me towards the very place that I want to go. Maybe she'll get bored and lose interest or something. The only other alternative is to cause some sort of scene, and in a city full of Oni, that seems like a really bad idea, somehow.

At least she's friendly. And a good hugger.

In any case, the two of us land and Okuu hauls me through the door of Big Papa's House of Looooooove and Tacos, into one of the most bizarre and extravagant places I've ever been in my life. It's got flashy decorations. It has a gold-embossed altar. It has a price sheet for various services. Pictures of the Hakurei-Scarlet wedding have a place of honor, declared proof of the power of 'looooooove.' It also has a food counter where containers full of meat and various fixings are stored, along with some sort of crunchy

Thread 1: >>/youkai/22769
Thread 2: >>/youkai/23061
Thread 3: >>/youkai/23345
Thread 4: >>/youkai/23651
Thread 5: >>/youkai/23942
Thread 6: >>/youkai/24231
Thread 7: >>/youkai/24553
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Okay, okay, never mind. It's none of my business. Hina and Itchy were just having a private moment, and no doubt she was just sharing some advice with him, or offering a few words of encouragement. It's not like she was flirting with the blushing, clearly fascinated male tengu who, when you really take a look at him, is actually kind of handsome.

Of course not! This has nothing to do with me! So there's no reason for me to feel all wary and curious, and vaguely eager to throw Ichiro to the floor and demand answers. Nope. Nuh-uh.

......

I'm sure it was nothing. Really. Besides, I can ask her about it later. And Ichiro probably needs some time to think things over. I can talk to him later about, you know, disrupting tengu society as we know it. Right now, I think I should do my chosen job and actually try to mingle with the people here and improve business. Gotta make the opening day as good as we possibly can, right?

I spare a glance for two of the more familiar figures in the room, but Tokiko is already talking to Lily, trying to persuade the fairy to do something while Lily hunkers down in her black robe, shaking her head obstinately. Meanwhile, the flow of people here is starting to slow down. This fills me with new determination.

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Okay. I can do this. Just stay calmSHE HAS HER FUCKING GOHEI OUT THIS IS BAD.

"After everything else, you have the nerve to walk in here while I'm trying to have a nice breakfast with my wife after THIS?!" Reimu shoves a copy of the Kakashi Spirit News in my face. It looks like someone's been drawing mustaches on the Mikami. "Explain to me why I shouldn't just blast you to the damn moon and let the loonies up there deal with you!"

Just... stay calm. Gotta stay calm. Let Reimu vent, let her get it out of her system, don't want to aggravate the pissed-off miko...

"Reimu," Remilia says gently, "We talked about this. Getting angry about it won't do you any good. Now, Aya has clearly come here for a reason. We should just let her speak and then judge, based on what she has to say."

Ah, leave it to the wifey to calm the... other wife... down. I don't even know what the proper terminology is.

"...Fine," Reimu grunts, crossing her arms. "Let's see what Miss Peeps-a-Lot has to say for herself."

Okay, looks like I have a chance, here. "I-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Reimu shouts, throwing her hand into the air. Remilia groans and facepalms, while I do everything I can not to cringe. An angry Rei