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File 140269154898.jpg - (159.79KB, 850x638, Gift of the Magi Update 1.jpg) [iqdb]
This is most certainly going to be rather unpleasant. Judging from the flurry of activity around the mansion today, it seems that Remilia is cooking up some new problematic event. The beginnings of a migraine begins to form in the back of your head as you consider what she might be planning, and worse, what part she’s called you out the library to play in it. Whatever it is, you can be sure you’d prefer to keep your hands clean of it.

“Patchy! Glad you could join us!” Remilia comes up behind you with a pat on the back, causing you to tense up reflexively.

“I wasn’t aware I had any option otherwise.”

“Oh don’t be like that. I’m just looking out for my friend, trying to get her to enjoy life a bit more.”

“You and I have very different ways of deriving enjoyment.”

“Oh, but variety is the spice of life, is it not?”

“So you’re saying you want to come read in the library?”

“Maybe something other time, tonight we have a party to attend.”
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[X] To Play with Human Shapes.
I want to know why Alice wishes to give life to her dolls.
I am still alive, I'm just putting a lot of work into this next update.

It's a pretty big one by by standards thus far anyway, and also an important one so I feel like I have to get it perfect. Hope you're all looking forward to it despite the wait. I loved the voter turnout last time, which is why it feels especially bad that this one has been delayed.

Ideally I'll be posting sometime today but I don't want to make promises if I'm not sure I can keep them.
New thread. Same Patchy? Maybe not.

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Thread One: >>54922

Well, no use just lying around.

As Meiling continues teaching the mechs why it's folly to use guns against her martial arts, you grab the shock-rifle that so recently electrocuted you and pull yourself to your feet, your muscles burning and every breath hard to come by.

"Heads up!" Meiling calls as soon as you're upright, following her words up by kicking a mech your way. You pull back and give it a solid uppercut; your strike aided by both boosted strength and momentum, the hapless machine flies up and clear through one of the windows with a great crash. That dealt with, you sprint into the thick of things. Bullets and electricity both fly your way, but some evasive maneuvering lets you avoid the worst of it.

Meiling sweeps one mech's leg out before dropping a vicious elbow that caves its chest in. Another mech moves to crack her skull, but you interrupt it with an accurate arc of electricity, stunning it long enough for the redhead to spring back to her feet and straight-up tear the stunned bot's head from its shoulders. "Does this happen often when you're around?"

"More than you'd think." You reply, pouring enough volts into a different mech to fry it completely. "So, got any plans after this?

"Like-" Ooh, that's an arm she just ripped off. "What?"

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500 year old vampires can be pretty good at sniffing out liars.
[x] Nothing for it but the whole truth, orders to capture Flandre and all. Besides, after what you saw Flandre do, you're convinced that acquiring her is a solely terrible idea, and you'll assure both Remilia and Command as such.

I'm convinced she'll find out somehow regardless.
The whole truth takes the vote, everyone! And with that, I usher Don't Lose Your Head into its third thread!


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File 123021381154.jpg - (78.78KB, 1024x731, IcebergCirno.jpg) [iqdb]
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


The sound of crackling dirt echoed through the long tunnel, stretching for miles behind the few workers who labored tirelessly. How deep were they underground, anyways? One hundred feet? Two hundred? No one had cared enough to take depth measurements when they began, but for this endeavor it didn’t matter. If Daiyousei’s calculations were correct, and everyone prayed to whatever gods they could that those calculations were, the only thing that mattered was that this tunnel was as straight as an arrow. If they screwed up anywhere, even so much as a single degree off, they could overshoot the target by miles, and all this would be for naught.

The tunnel was barely tall enough for a small child to stand up straight in, and the narrow walls would make this passage a claustrophobic’s worst nightmare. But that didn’t matter. As long as Cirno could work in it unimpeded, it wouldn’t make the least bit of difference to anyone if the tunnel smelled of rotting carcasses and was lined with razors all the way down. She labored without sleep, sixteen hours of every day she was right there at the front of the tunnel, digging ten times faster than any of the others could manage, and out on guard the other eight hours. It was quite a shame, really, that their fearless leader was both their strongest warrior and their fastest digger. Any day now, that double-edged utility would have to be split one way or the other, and no matter which side she chose, their progress would be sorely diminished.

Cirno crouched in the center of the end wall, hundreds of rotating ice chisels in front of her working better than the world’s best auger ever could. Whatever dirt she herself did not freeze to the walls the two fairies behind her quickly packed in tight as she drilled. They had decided days previous that they couldn’t possibly carry all the dirt and rock out of here, not when they were so pressed for time. The only option was to drill a giant hole, shred the soil as fine
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Since nobody actually expects this story to continue, isn't it good that newfags can discover and read this one-shot/short-story/ spin-off/wordhyphenword?

That said, fuck you.

>You lose MORE.jpg

Hehehe, never gets old.
I suppose it's for the best that this story stops where it does; I couldn't imagine any possible continuation that could do justice to it.
We need more badass Cirno

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It's cold, colder than you've ever been; a poison that seeps through your pale skin and reaches your bones and chills the marrow within so that you can barely move. Panic assails you, the first emotion in an otherwise blank mind, and your green eyes widen as the only thing you see is white, the white of your ragged dress, of your pale skin, and of the cold frost that surrounds you, an impossible snowscape that seems to go on forever.

You grope about you, blinded by the lack (or perhaps, the sum?) of color. You try to find your bearings and stand up; you fail and collapse on your knees. You can't move. Fear stabs your heart - you're going to die. You try to stand again; again you fall. Sobbing, you crawl into a sitting position, your slender body wracked with shivers. How could you die here? It's ridiculous, you must be dreaming. 'What is this? Why am I here?' Then, another question, one that accentuates the panic until it's an iron lance plunged through your chest and twisted around. 'Who am I?'

You try and think. You glimpse vague visions, images. A picture of a mother you've never met. A table full of materials next to a roaring fireplace. Neatly arranged dolls, crafted by hand. A woman with black hair, and a book, and blood, and fire...

You remember.

For a moment, all feeling disappears. The cold, and the pain and the fear of death become nothing during a long, sharp breath of disbelief.

Then you scream.

You scream and scream and scream again, beating your fists against the ground, pulling on your long golden hair so hard you tear out clumps, dragging long nails over your face until the skin breaks and your blood stains the snow.

Eventually, your throat gives out and all you can do is whimper and lie on the snow, crying as you bury your face into your arms.
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While I'm getting the feeling that this story is likely dead, just know that if you ever come back to it you have readers still waiting.

Sage for no content as well
Today I was reminded of this story and found my way back to THP after about a 2 year absence.
So yeah, there'll be hopeful readers for a long time yet.

Sage, relevant, etc.
story is ded, surprise big not

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You catch Reimu’s eyes, and motion for her to start interrogating.

“Alright, kiddo. What is the kamaitachi’s plan?”

The youkai takes a breath. “Manipulate the weather, lure humans into the forest, capture them, and use them to lure the Hakurei shrine maiden to us.”

“Why?” you ask.

“…To defeat her and prove the superiority of the kamaitachi to Gensokyo.”

“… Is that it?” Reimu asks after a minute, frowning. “If they want to try defeating me, all they need to do is challenge me to a spellcard duel. I’d be happy to oblige.”

The youth looks to the side.

Reimu’s mouth gapes slightly in dull horror. “…They don’t intend for me to live, do they?”
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sorry i didnt know. people always go on about how "sage does nothing"..
I thought it was just on hold because thats what it said on the search page. i just wanted to have a conformation from the author since ive seen stories come back after as long as 4 or 5 months before...

sorry for my grammer if its wrong

>people always go on about how "sage does nothing"..

THP is not 4chan. Due to the much slower rate of posting here, sage is actually useful.

To catch up on how THP works please do the following:

Look at the top right of the site. You should see a link labeled "Home". Click on it and you'll be at the sites front page. There are four tabs to switch between. Read both FAQ and Rules.

Once you've done that, go to this thread >>/gensokyo/6052

Please read it entirely, including the seemingly irrelevant comments below. There are some important facts mentioned among the clutter that aren't really mentioned elsewhere.

Finally, this is the news and general information thread >>/gensokyo/1351
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Damn, I need more of this Patchouli...

Anyone got any recommendations for a guy in need of a Patchy-fix?

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Finally satisfied, you set the Grand Opening signs in place, and take a step back to admire your new place of business.

Years of study, years of back-breaking work, saving up and doing all the shittiest jobs, anything to put a little more money in the bank, all for this one, glorious moment.

At long last, you've done it. The elusive fantasy you've chased for so long is within your grasp. You will not, can not fail in your grand calling.

You consider the sign you've placed, for a moment, and then, in a sudden flash of inspiration, get a little paint and add a line that's sure to draw in customers. Offering anything for free usually does, after all. You've seen it happen.

Satisfied, you do a quick round through your new establishment, checking that everything is just so. It all has to be perfect, especially on your opening day.

Satisfied, you position yourself carefully behind the front counter, trying (perhaps a little too hard) not to let your anticipation and nervous energy show. It's just so exciting, being able to open the doors of your very own business at last! It wasn't easy, but you somehow managed.

You've even got a perfect location, catering to an underserved segment of the population! (Your studying has paid off already! Gods bless that weirdo and the books in his store, even if he does live out in the woods like that!)

After all, outside the village walls, your clientele (you love these fancy words so much; they're just so exotic!) can include almost anybody! You were careful not to place it too far from the village, and away from the Forest, so even the villagers won't balk too much at coming to you!
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where are the grapes eggman you said there would be grapes
So uh about that drink?
So uh about that drink?

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File 13881150582.jpg - (240.74KB, 954x1350, the gloves make it suggestive.jpg) [iqdb]
“Lady Remilia has been waiting to see you,” the majordomo stated quietly, lighting the ornate lamps at either side of the doors. The sun had all but set, the last dying rays of light were barely visible through the giant windows. “I know you've been kept rather busy today, and I apologize again for the misunderstanding in the cellar,” she nodded solemnly, the act of contrition as polished as it had been the first time I saw it. “I was instructed to show you to the drawing room before supper, for a formal introduction.”

“That's quite alright,” I said, “I'm used to eventful days.” Suika usually made sure that moments of dullness were few and far in between. “I hope I'm presentable enough to meet the mistress of the manor. My clothes were scuffed even before all of that business with that young girl,' I said with my tongue fully in cheek.

“I'm not sure my opinion matters much,” she said with an elegant smile, “but I believe you would look quite dashing no matter the state of your vestments.”

“Thank you, Sakuya,” I said, glad I had such an agreeable liason for this job.

Turning her attention to the door, the slender girl knocked softly on the hard wood. Pausing for a moment first, she then opened the door, beckoning me in with a smooth motion of her open hand.

The room was dark. A lit fireplace in the corner was the sole source of illumination. The walls were of a dark wood, the same kind on the door and the side door further in, and had a strip of wallpaper in between a section of horizontal wall that ran all along the sides of the room. Decorations were sparse for the space. A single large painting of a pale, sickly-looking girl sat opposite the fire. She was dressed in dainty clothes and had a fur draped over her shoulders. The flicker of flames and moving shadows gave me the impression that she was someone with something that she wanted to hide. Beyond that there were a few large upholstered chairs with burgeoning and comfortable-looking cushions and arms. And a single chaise longue turned towards the fireplace. The profile of a reclining figure lay still on it.
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I do; also I figured this would last until auto-sage at least. But we're going to have to get more people to speak up than just us.
I also want to see it continued. I tend to be bad with voting due to reading it mostly at work but I guess I'll at least try to copy paste for votes if it's continued.

I do as well. Unfortunately my schedule has a tendency of being the opposite of Teruyo's so I often miss votes in fast-paced stories like these. Combined with how my life is going at the moment I don't often have the chance to make well thought out votes. Not to mention that I'm usually fine with any of the choices winning so I usually leave the voting to people who prefer one over the other unless I feel strongly about a particular choice.


Do remember that you often have more readers than you do voters Teruyo, especially with your system of not counting votes unless thay have a comment. Don't give up so easy.

Besides, it doesn't matter if you don't have a lot of voters, you can at least make the ones who do read it happy. Isn't that good enough?

[x] Offering a massage with soaps and scented oils was a surefire way to seduce her.

Anyway, have a tie-breaker vote. As >>60240 said, Arc tends to do better with actions than words. I am in no way voting for this just because of how stressed I have been lately and how much I would love a massage!

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File 136757937352.jpg - (127.36KB, 566x550, Kazuki by Pygmalion.jpg) [iqdb]
Reposting this in a new thread since the last was autosaging. And big thanks to Pygmalion for this new thread opener!

>[x] "Trust? Yes."
>[x] "Respect? Yes."
>[x] "Terrified of? Apparently also yes."
>[x] "Just give me a bit. I think I pulled a worldview muscle."
>[x] You want me to try to combine my magic and melee?

I look up at her, seeing the hurt in her eyes. I heave a sigh, even through my heart thumping out of my chest. "Meiling, of course I trust you."


"I absolutely trust you. Trust you, respect you...and you just scared the living daylights out of me. I'll be fine, I promise. just... give me a minute. I think... I think my view of you just shifted without a clutch."

Meiling starts to get up. "I'm sorry. I'll give you some--" She stops short as I reach out and take her wrist. I know she could pull free if she wanted (or pull my arm free of its--nnnnot doing yourself any favors, Applepicker), but she lets me stop her. She looks back at me after a moment and manages a smile, before sitting back down beside me. That's one less thing to worry about, at least.
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[x] I was going to keep it sedate. Walk around, see the sights, have a quiet meal...

This sort of thing is nice.
I sort of disagree as Meiling doesn't strike me as one impressed with an overly flashy thing and if she was, I doubt she'd have fallen for Kazuki compared to some recently gapped hero wannabe.
I have it on good authority that this thread is on autosage. New thread: >>59702

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File 133700925876.jpg - (718.93KB, 1000x1414, Portrait of the Scarlet Devil.jpg) [iqdb]
How long is a cold century,
when one waits for love?
But what good is love
if it turns to rot?
For an eternity I've waited
for eternity with you.
For an eternity I've waited
for love undying.
For an eternity I've waited.

But not anymore.

"So you just let her inside? Do you have any idea-"

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[X] Ask Patchouli for advice.
[x] Ask Patchouli for advice.

Really interested in this so far~
It's been two years. Can you please remember this exists again?

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You are Patchouli Knowledge, a physically frail and sickly magician of profound aptitude and power. You live in the Voile Archives of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, though you have constructed an attached tower elsewhere, without internal fixtures as yet, which you may or may not inhabit much. You are Friends with Remilia, the vampire who owns the mansion, who considers it entirely too much effort to try to feed off you. Your Magical Potency varies somewhat from day to day, depending on how long of an incantation you can manage before breaking off into a fit of coughs, and how much strain your body can handle in addition to the rigors of illness. You currently have a box of ninety four vials of Medication stored in the library to offset the worst of the days, however, though it will later exact a toll, and your new Magical Focus eases use of magic to a significant degree. It seems that Luck can play a reasonable part in keeping yourself healthy, though effects may vary, as can the Hakurei Hot Spring.

Your magic is based on Elementalism primarily, though you are also skilled in Diabolism and Other Summonings, which can be surprisingly versatile, particularly in combination with Golems. You can also create Homunculi, if you have the materials to hand. You do not have any suitable samples of the key ingredient, however.

The date is Aug. 30. It is Tuesday, day of Mars, of War and Fire and Conflict of every sort. Through dint
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You say that you dislike the placing of people into categories, a quite understandable sentiment given the huge range of behavior possible. Do you think that with broad enough and numerous enough personality categories you'd get something reasonably close to real life, or would such a system still need a category for nearly every person in existence? What if this hypothetical system allowed for combinations of categories (ie, half X and half Y, or mostly Z with a bit of W, and some V in stressful situations)?
File 138147667911.jpg - (149.43KB, 501x1000, Interview_With.jpg) [iqdb]
> Would you pilot a Space Robot?

"Hm. Erh.... depends. I mean, if I was in space, maybe. But when it comes down to it, I don't know what that's all made of except it seems like maybe cardboard considering how easily it gets shot up and blown apart by giant-robo swords and space bombs. And I mean, I can kick through steel, so there's that. And seems like they automatically self-destruct whenever they break or something, so I'm basically wrapping myself safely up in a big bottle of nitro with a primed explosive plug just waiting to go off.

So yeah, mark me as a solid 'Maybe, not committed one way or another' on that one. I'd kind of rather be that one guy who charges up and beats the robots to death without any weapons, but maybe.

I guess if I really had to be in space for some reason I would try running really fast, then jumping really high, and achieving escape velocity. Supposedly rabbits did that looooong ago, and that's where moon bunnies came from. And then one thing led to another, time passed and the Lunarians happened, a couple of space-bunnies loved each other very very much and filled all the paperwork to get approval to form a baby, stuff happened, and now Reisen lives at Eientei.

But yeah, call me old-fashioned, but I think I might lean towards the traditional methods of rabbit space-faring. I mean, worst that can happen is my eyes explode out of my skull, my skin freezes and shatters, and all my blood boils out through my cracks and pores, so... no worries. No rush either, mind."

>Capital of Assyria?

"Gonna have to be more specific than that. You know they call that region 'Iraq' these days, right? Well, unless there's been some kind of political overthrow and the new guy in charge renamed it. Or everyone died and people later moved into the free space and started a new country. These things happen.

But s
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