I think Keine has the best hat. It's still darn silly though.

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File 153416196515.jpg - (115.32KB, 900x900, the most forced smile of all.jpg) [iqdb]
Yyyyep. Seems I'll be your host again this year. If anyone has wondered where other contests and the prizes of the contests past are, well... it's been a bit of a rough year on my health.

Potentially concerning matters aside, it's that time again! It's time to dance and write and laugh and maybe read, too!

The entry period shall be 2 weeks in length, running from 8/13/18 to 8/27/18. Voting shall likewise run for two weeks, running from 8/27/18 to 9/10/18.

As per usual, the subject matter is up to you. The categories will be as followed: General, Newbie and Lewd.

I exclude lewd newbies on the grounds of lewds being strapped for participants as it stands. Winning a contest of one isn't exactly winning at all.

I'll offer crappy art prizes IOUs for the three winners, but I have other prizes I still need to dole out first and foremost, not to mention that I need to get back in the drawing mood. I just got over another illness or something and now my eyes have been strained for going on a week, which kinda really sucks in general. I think I've had almost 3 months of feeling like crap thus far this year. And it was only in 3 chunks. Kiiiinda sucks.
File 153416315334.jpg - (658.68KB, 1433x1013, Move in an orderly fashion.jpg) [iqdb]
don't we usually have a theme
Not the annual contest.

As >>15458 said, those are only for my personal contests. The yearly contest isn't really my contest, and is actually the inspiration for my more particular contests. I'm just hosting it, as someone has to.
Good luck to everyone!
I'm gonna write absolutely nothing this year, too!
> 2 weeks

Wait what. We usually have a month.

I hate to ask for an extension before the contest has even started, but...
As much as I think giving people less time would be good for discouraging waffling, I'm also realistic in thinking that it would just result in fewer entries, and so I have to back what this anon is saying. We really could do with a month since this is the contest and not having many entries would be a shame.

I went with 2 weeks, as people had complained that 4 is too long. I actually agree with the two of you, so your wish has been granted.

The entry period will now run from 8/13/18 to 9/10/18.

The voting period will now run from 9/10/18 to 9/24/18.

My update is almost done, so I might be able to participate this year without feeling guilty
Remember, the contest is anonymous. Entering a name can skew voter opinions, so it's not allowed.
File 153495162846.jpg - (8.23KB, 200x200, 17191220_1129680000491380_2826335439201048919_n.jpg) [iqdb]
One more thing: the number of posts per entry is limited to 2, meaning an 80,000 character limit. You can have as many individual entries as you like, though.

Forgot to state this rule as well. I was freaking tired when I made the initial post, so please forgive me. I hope this doesn't ruin things for anyone, and if it does, we can discuss things.

How you would have an 80,000 character story done so fast is beyond me, that said.
Yes, I'm a day late. I forgot to finish typing this, and so never actually said it. As such, I'm saying it now.
File 153646782046.png - (261.78KB, 1000x1000, haaa.png) [iqdb]
I'm not going to make it.

I know the feeling. What sort of not gonna make it? I'm not above lengthening the deadline a little if need be.
I made it! Whew!

I am never writing anything that long for a contest again.
Different guy, but I've run afoul of illness here at the end. If I can't power through to get it done by the deadline, another week to rest up and finish would be much appreciated. It'll show up in /at/ and be pretty noticeable if I do manage.
I couldn't ask for another week. That'd be ridiculous of me.

It's gonna need another week, though.
In light of the requests, the deadline for entries is now the 17th. The voting process will thus run from the 18th to the 2nd.
It’s all ogre now.
Got it in before the contest runner specifically called it, totally counts.
Wait, I thought
>The voting process will thus run from the 18th
meant the deadline was midnight between the 17th and the 18th.
The original deadline was midnight GMT on 10 September, so it follows that a week's extension would put the new deadline at midnight GMT on 17 September.

Of course, it always pays to be extra clear about these things when announcing them, but...
In that case, I'm gonna ask for the rest of the day, 'cause it's gonna need that long also.
In an effort to increase the amount of contest entries and to ensure that the only /at/ entry doesn't win by default, can I enter >>/at/37485 into this contest. Its an old short I wrote that was never entered into any previous contests, the 24 hours it took to write it is well within the month long writing time frame allowed for this contest, and nobody knows who wrote it because I did it anonymously. I promise not to edit it in any way, and I swear to God I am the person who originally wrote it. This should be the same computer I wrote that short on originally, so check the IP address if you want to verify I'm the same person, unless moving to a different address since I wrote it changes the IP address. I'm not computer saavy enough to know.

It doesn't have a title, but if it needs one I guess I could call it "Spring has Sprung." If not I could always leave it untitled.
Similarly (not him) I'm the only entrant in Newbies, sooo

this one I mean >>/shorts/2197
>>15509 here
I'm sneaking it in.
I more go by the end of the day rather than the beginning. I think. Probably. ...Either way, that's what it'll be. It's over once the site time ticks to zero.

It kinda goes against the spirit of such a contest, but if nobody has any issues, go right ahead.

If it has no name, I'll give it something silly for when I link it.
15 hours remain.
I will begin putting together the lists shortly. That said, you can get a jump start on reading them if you like.

Voting ends in 2 weeks, on October 1st at 23:59
File 153723895388.jpg - (1.09MB, 1404x949, And now I may rest.jpg) [iqdb]
>>/shorts/2203 Blooming Friendship
>>/shorts/2204 >>/shorts/2205 Message in a Bottle 1/2
>>/shorts/2206 >>/shorts/2207 False Moon 1/2
>>/shorts/2208 Arachne Wept
>>/shorts/2209 Rice and Rain
>>/shorts/2210 >>/shorts/2211 The Youkai are Coming 1/2
>>/shorts/2212 >>/shorts/2213 Lunar Veil 1/2


>>/at/39433 >>/at/39434 Abating Boredom with Beasts 1/2
>>/at/39435 Spring has Sprung

The rules are simple: do not reveal your name as the author until the end. That said, you may discuss them anonymously, and then claim your work at the end of the voting process.

Also, voting for yourself is in bad taste, so don't.
File 153724088640.jpg - (827.78KB, 1000x1449, 27202944_p0.jpg) [iqdb]
[X] >>/shorts/2209 Rice and Rain

I like its vibe/atmosphere and it's fairly in character--perhaps not Kogasa not letting an unsuccessful spook get her down, but it was still good to see her trying to be what she actually wants to be: caring/useful. Reimu's grumpiness was portrayed well.

I wanna see it as a fuller story, actually. It's a nice premise. Will steal if Anon doesn't go for it.
Alright, it's votin' time! No words spared this year so I'mma spare some for y'all, whether you want 'em or not!

> Blooming Friendship

No comment, 'cause there ain't enough to comment on.

> Message in a Bottle

Magpie? Seriously? And what'd your enter key ever do to you?

> False Moon

This is bad and you should feel bad for writing it. Unless that was the idea, in which case you did good.

> Arachne Wept

Just what THP needed, another YAF wannabe. 8/10 made me cringe.

> Rice and Rain

GET BACK TO - wait a minute, you're not Tape. Good. Maybe you'll actually write.

> The Youkai are Coming

Whatever you're on, I want some.

> Lunar Veil

You call yourself a newbie? I call bullshit. In fact,

[x] Lunar Veil

is my vote for the general category, 'cause you deserve it. Honorable mention to Rice and Rain for the feels and The Youkai are Coming for the funnies, but this is the shit I want to see more of.

No porn vote from me. A beastiality rapefest and a zero-effort shitpost do not a contest make.
I hate to be negative to a community effort, but this was not the best showing. There's not much here I in good conscience can call "good." But votes are needed, so votes will be cast. Make do with what is there and so forth. Perhaps though there is a need for a short stop on contests for people to not be fatigued like this time?

Anyhow, my vote for non-lewd is [x] Blooming Friendship

I would have voted probably for the Kogasa one, but Kogasa is a little bit overrated for me. That short was more sentimental anyway and a little bit saccharine. Perhaps this Yuuka one could have been improved by stronger detail, but I prefer it somehow for its simplicity.

This is a little rude, but I want also to give the lewd part a [x] vote of no confidence

A 50-50 choice is hardly a contest and especially when neither are that appealing. Sorry to both entrants.

Many people won't change their minds as to what makes good writing from me yelling at them for their failings, so I will not do reviews. All I'll say is that THP needs to spend time reading more and better books in general. And stop trying so hard at comedy. The result is not often good.
[X] Message in a Bottle
I wanted to like some other entrants more. I think some other entrants are better. But ultimately, I enjoyed this particular story the most. A guilty pleasure, I'd call it - but that is still a pleasure nonetheless.
Elaborating on others should be something I do, probably.

> Blooming Friendship

I'm not really a fan of this sort of story but think it was put together well enough. By this sort of story I mean the story of someone who likes person despite person manipulating them.

> Message in a Bottle

Very interesting concept but the tone is rather all over the place, often feeling sentimental and then shortly thereafter absurd, which can be fine when gunning for "realism" actually because reality doesn't give a shit whether or not you're sentimental, but Marisa ends up fluctuating between like devastated and comically over-reacting. It's jarring.

> False Moon

Not my cup of tea. I think I get it, but it's not my preference.

> Arachne Wept

Wasn't really sure what was going on here. I kind of like the idea at the end, and the ambiguity therein, but something about it wasn't clicking with me. This kind of shares an issue I have with Blooming Friendship of being a kind of story I am not much a fan of, in this case the adoptive parent with a secret that the child discovers and thus rebels/leaves. Again what makes it work better is that the predicament is really a youkai's dilemma at the end, and it's useful to use the friendly Yamame to illustrate it... although Yamame seems pretty out of character for a girl who finds humans delicious (not indiscriminately: she does like "seasoning" humans with diseases such as mental illness before eating them).

> The Youkai are Coming

REALLY wasn't sure what was going on here. I actually liked the style but was so confused I couldn't grasp... almost anything? I actually got frustrated with its schizophrenic direction, and also... wasn't sure WHERE it was? It was kind of funny the idea of another dumbass "invasion", but yeah. Almost like, too intense.

I also was not into either lewd entry. Written fairly well but with subject matter I don't like, or a joke entry. /BIG SHRUG

>I would have voted probably for the Kogasa one, but Kogasa is a little bit overrated for me. That short was more sentimental anyway and a little bit saccharine. Perhaps this Yuuka one could have been improved by stronger detail, but I prefer it somehow for its simplicity.
Not the writer of Rice and Rain but do find it a bit strange to call "saccharine" what ultimately amounts to not really anything (just a moment of kindness and a sprinkle of doki doki) while saying you prefer a story about a character becoming legitimately enraptured by another character (both actually spellbound and eventually metaphorically so in that they remain interested, ending in a pretty common sort of line to these kinds of tales). Also preference for simplicity when one is an afternoon scene involving a pair and the other involves a hidden plot, a significant length of time, and a wider cast. It probably sounds like I wrote the Kogasa short, but really, not I! Lastly kinda silly to write on or off something based on how a character is "rated" in one's eyes.

That said I did write something (it's probably obvious, it's not like I can hide it) and would rather have criticism than a blanket statement. I'll admit, I didn't think what I wrote was a bad one, though I have my own criticisms of it (maybe I'll share those after the voting period).
I'm gonna start by actually putting a vote in for the lewds.

> Abating Boredom With Beasts
I don't take much issue with rapefics, but found the slow, verbose language highly distracting. I found myself torn between the meandering complexity of the wording and sentence structure, and the more intense brutality of what they tried to describe. I found the rest of the story pretty neat, but felt like I kept having to peer though a foggy glass to even see what happened.

> Spring has Sprung
I don't have a huge problem with shitposts either, but this one just felt horribly indecisive. It was too long to make a good 'lazy' shitpost, but too plain to make a good long-form shitpost.

I'm not a huge fan of the options, but I'm placing a vote for [x] Abating Boredom with Beasts.

On to the general posts.

> Blooming Friendship
A decent story as far as I can tell, but it was the sort of thing that just doesn't click with me.

> Message in a Bottle
This story did a good job of giving me the feels, though more from the sensation of time marching on and the general consequences of the heroine's reclusion than the specific conflict that caused it. Further, I think the comedic moments were fairly well-placed, but a bit over the top. (For the record, I think the last joke, involving the channeling, fit in quite well.)

> False Moon
This was goofy as hell, but I liked it. The comedy generally landed fairly well, but some parts, especially toward the beginning, felt a bit too restrained. It felt like it was trying to be sort of serious, which made the first big moment more disorienting than anything else.

> Arachne Wept
Same as 'Blooming Friendship.'

> The Youkai Are Coming
I think I got the gist of what happened, more or less, but only after I'd finished reading. I liked a fair amount of the jokes here, too. But the fast pace combined with frequently vague descriptions often left me too confused to enjoy the punchlines as much as I suspect I could've.

> Lunar Veil
The stylistic choice for the communications was distracting at first, but became pretty neat once I got used to it. Other than that, I just found it an all-around well-executed drama.

My vote is [x] Lunar Veil.

Message in a Bottle spoke to me a bit more, but Lunar Veil just came off as too tightly done to say no to.
[x] Lunar Veil
I liked this one the best, I have to say. I got one question though, who was the third astronaut?
There should have been two, but I'm basically an idiot. There's no excusing it, I read in several places that the 11 was a 3 man crew, and it was. However, 1 was in orbit (Collins). You must now pretend I just consistently typoed "three" for "two", though know the truth that seriously

I'm just an idiot
[x] Message in a Bottle
[x] Boredom...
Binged everything non-lewd so I can get my vote in.

Blooming Friendship
Yuuka and Dude grow an odd friendship. This could have been something more, but fell a little short of what it wanted to be. I think that this is because the story reads like a list. “This happens. That happens. Then this happens. The end.” And that’s not a bad thing in itself, but it feels so… surface level.

Message in a Bottle
Marisa and her potty-mouth visit a changed Gensokyo. I don’t want to digress too much, but I’m pretty certain Marisa has a disease where she has to cuss every other line or else she’ll die. I’m alright with a couple of fucks here and there, but it actively detracts from the story—especially the emotional scene. Could do better without the “HOLY SHIT […] THIS IS NOT A DRILL” right after the tearful outburst.

False Moon
A guy crossdresses as Kaguya, also known as the joke went on for waaaay too long: the story. I don’t know what you’re trying to do, writefag, but you won’t trick me. Ends with the most TO BE CONTINUED scene in the world.

Arachne Wept
Yamame and her not-son have an argument. This would be so much better if we had more backstory. With what we have right now, there isn’t enough setup to the emotional climax, and thus it feels cheap.

Rice and Rain
Kogasa and Reimu share an umbrella. I’m of the same opinion as this anon >>15519 that it would be good as a full-fledged story. Short and to the point.

The Youkai Are Coming
Moon rabbit has a bad time. Look. I’ll be honest here. I had no fucking clue about what was happening, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t entertaining. It’s like watching two cars crash into each other and then a train T-bones both of them as a plane comes crashing down at the same time. But yeah, if you’re prescribed something, get me in on that too.

Lunar Veil
Ringo and Reisen don’t know what to do when there’s war. Reisen’s internal conflict really sold the story for me. Give yourself a pat on the back because you’re no newbie in my eyes, that’s for sure.

[x] Lunar Veil
As nobody is touching lewd with a ten foot pole it feels like, I'll do my part to focus on... them, to be generous. It, to be realistic, as only one can be called a story. The other is more a... well, particularly long joke?


[Lewd] Abating Boredom With Beasts

>releasing the fairy's head to roar in fe
I think you accidentally forgot to edit this.

Well... that was both too much and not enough. At first I liked the detail of your descriptions, but then it turned out the story was gory and full to as much of the brim as that poor fairy with torture. I'm a fan of bestiality and a fan of fairies and their like. Even rape isn't outside of my personal fetishes, but that was just plain brutal. There were three ways I would have preferred it to have ended: it turning out to be beyond their ability to control and a bit of turnabout going on, the beast trying to take his mistress for his own and dying, and the poor fairy at least being spared the memory or the like. I'd say more, but your story wasn't my cup of tea. That said, it was well made, and I did enjoy it now and then along the way. Poor fairy...

[] Spring has Sprung

I feel this could have been funnier if more effort were put in.


[] Blooming Friendship

D'aww. I loved the way that started, and also how it ended. That said, I felt a bit confused about the reason for the beating. It felt like I am to assume the reason, but I find myself second guessing that sort of reasoning, as that is a terrible reason. Seriously, who does that sort of thing? Freaky flower lovers, that's who. Still, jokes aside, I loved that story. It just felt... fae? You know, where you're invited to a dance and vanish for decades, your will subsumed in merriment? But with flowers in this version.

[] Message in a Bottle

D'aww. Marisa must have joined the navy at some point, but d'aww. Seriously, I agree with the other guy: swearing is fine, but going overboard is still going overboard. That said, I won't beat you over the head with it, as I know how that feels, getting a million voices telling you things labeled under "shit I already know". Honestly, I was a little sad that Kosuzu wasn't touched on in more than passing, though. Easily a favorite character of mine, and I'm curious just how she turned, as that manga leading into the future is an interesting thought.

[] False Moon

No comment.

[] Arachne Wept

I felt it ended well before it could have, and it feels very... "to be continued"ish somehow. I liked the story, but feel it could have been better if it didn't end there. That said, I nearly missed your story due to the lack of picture!

[] Rice and Rain

Yet another d'aww. Seriously, just d'aww! Kogasa's a favorite of mine, and if it were more fleshed out, I feel I might have given this my vote. I just love me a snuggly umbrella, and one as sweet as this one, while prone to attracting insects, is just lovely. Nearly missed your story, too.

[] The Youkai Are Coming

...I... was giggling quite a lot while reading that. Like, seriously, that was dumb. But good-dumb. I loved everything about the dumbness of it all, and am glad I got to behold it. ...Seriously, were you on something while writing that or something? It was very... fever dream.

[Non-Lewd] Lunar Veil

Wow, lots of Mooninites this time around, huh? Sorry you had to be the only newbie. ...I honestly thought it'd be close between the first two entries, but you really blew my socks off with this one. Like, wow. I don't even really have anything negative to say; your story felt above average even among this category, let alone the newbie one. Hope we see more from you in the future, as I'd love to see what you might produce.
Tacking on a porn vote.
[x] Abating Boredom With Beasts
There's a cat with personality. The prose makes it better.
File 153843997782.jpg - (103.12KB, 1000x1000, Time!.jpg) [iqdb]
I can't apologize enough for my tardiness. The internet went out, and I missed the time I mentioned I would be calling it at. Missing my deadline is inexcusable, and calling it late by minutes will be no less a failure than hours. I do not like being made a liar, much less lying.

I'll tally the votes in a bit.
File 15384770009.png - (464.58KB, 600x800, Fitting for the common subject.png) [iqdb]
This will come to no surprised to those of you that gave the votes even a cursory glance, but...

Lunar Veil wins the non-lewd category by a landslide, having all of five votes to its name. Congratulations!

As for the lewd category, the winner is more formality than properly earned, but that doesn't make it any less a well written story.

Abating Boredom With Beasts wins the lewd category infinite times over! The number of voters is only two, but with the unanimous nature of the vote, as well as only technically having competition, the winner was as you would expect.

To the other contestants, I felt you all did well, making lovely stories! Not one was truly bad, so I wish you luck in your future endeavors! Contestants, come forth and claim your stories!
File 153848019466.jpg - (1.34MB, 1200x1600, reverse the trophy.jpg) [iqdb]
Hey THPers, it's ya boi, Kizin, claiming first place for that Lunar Veil >>/shorts/2212 >>/shorts/2213 , son. Thanks for the votes ↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓↑↓ (seriously, I'm very glad it resonated with you)

If you've been reading The Magician’s Apprentice Exchanged Cups with an Oni (first >>/others/65260 latest >>/others/66845 ) or read Histories of Yatsugatake >>/shorts/2180, you are probably aware that I like incorporating music with my writing. Lunar Veil can be listened to with music too, which I didn't include for the contest since I felt that'd be against the spirit of level competition. If you're curious the songs I'd play for it, they are:
* The first bits of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pIOOhj0wQE after the first "radio" transmissions. So, "This Guy's In Love" by Burt Bacharach and "Ticket To Ride (instrumental)" by The Beatles.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkJZVNC21Cw SeeD, from Final Fantasy VIII. When the rabbits are being briefed by Yorihime.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DruLLOO6Vq0 Emil - Despair, from NieR: Automata. Reading the part where Ringo makes her last attempt while the instrumental portion of this song plays (https://youtu.be/DruLLOO6Vq0?t=103 (1:43)) gets me all pumped up.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Egn_VNVKzI4 The Weight of the World/English Version, NieR: Automata. I think this syncs up super well with the very last part of the story, starting with "A sobbing runaway enters the Bamboo Forest of the Lost".

I entered the Newbie category at first since I'm new to this site (I do declare, I literally started the first of this year), but I am by no means new to writing and I definitely wasn't sure at first which to enter. That said I made a few mistakes on Lunar Veil and always worry whenever I write emotional things whether that emotionality will resonate with readers as it does for me. I've had people say I know how to do it, but I always think I could do better with this or that scene. Like I really want what I consider the impactful scenes to be impactful, then worry if I'm doing it right. It is my personal anxiety.

As for this story I like Reisen... a lot. Despite how clear it may be to the contrary, I consider Reisen to be my #1 bun and #1 Touhou PERIOD. Seriously, I like her a lot. Not at all for her earlier character, though. I always thought of her as lame fap bait before I got into Touhou, and when I got into it I thought of her as a stuckup cunt before I got to the latest developments to her character. I don't even like the idea of just-went-AWOL Reisen, because personally I'm quite sure there was no true war. This story was based on the idea that it was real, or more importantly it was based around the idea that rabbits are expendable, fearful beings. I really love the Moon Rabbits all in all and am incredibly intrigued by their social structure, close-knit ways, and extreme casual nature despite being slaves. Moon buns are fuckin' great, man. If there really was a war on the moon between two astronauts and a bunch of bunnies, maybe Lunar Veil is how it went down, but mainly I think Reisen was just a coward who had a lot of growing up to do.

Anyway I was serious about Rice and Rain and will STEAL it if it's not made something more!
File 153849271191.png - (1.01MB, 944x904, KogaReimu.png) [iqdb]
Since it's being brought up, I suppose I'll go next. Rice and Rain (>>/shorts/2209) was me. I'd considered participating in multiple contests before now, some even before I started on my thread, but never worked out a viable idea until I felt it was too late.

This contest was the same until I stumbled on an idea at the last minute and got egged into actually trying to write it out in time. Given the rush job, I found myself pleasantly surprised with the end product and doubly so by its reception.

Kogasa is a character that felt both overplayed and underplayed to me. She was someone you tend to see a ton of in general, but who also inspires certain stories that I just couldn't get enough of. That's more or less where this came from.

And one final note: I'd love to write a continuation or otherwise extended thread on the same idea myself. But I've not even begun working out how I'd try to structure that and I doubt I can afford to split my attention from my current thread anyway. So yeah, go for it.
I am the nameless degenerate that penned Abating Boredom With Beasts, and that marks two lewd victories in a row. Though it's kind of hard to call this victory, given all there was to compete against was a shitpost repost. But for a rather harsh story about a coeurl raping a fairy, this was approximately as well received as I could dare to hope; I'll take it, certainly. The idea behind this was pretty random, all things considered: the phrase, 'She likes to watch.' ran through my head in tandem with conflating Remilia with the sort of bored billionaire that develops interesting sexual tastes. From there came the idea to draw on her pet chupacabra for a whole stable of magical beasts she uses to amuse herself. I actually considered it as something with its own thread on /at/ for a while, but eventually erred against that, owing to heavily varying fetishes involved in different magical creatures, the lack of much to do besides have people vote for the next sex scene, and a perennial laziness that only a deadline can solve, if slightly.

Ultimately, then, I chose one of the ideas I had in mind, not too simple and not too esoteric - as strange as the latter may sound given the story - and turned it into a standalone for the contest. It still proved pretty difficult to write, actually, and I needed every second available to me and then some. Even with a final day binge, I was two hours late, except it was later revealed we could have one more day. As such, I essentially submitted the thing in a panic, checking the thread every five minutes to see if time had been called and laboring under the idea that if I got it in before the official callout, I was safe, hardly believing it. >>15530 doesn't even touch on the half of it when they say that one line wasn't edited. I gave it literally no editing pass whatsoever, no proofreading, and no quality check. There are a few things I would've changed in phrasing and sentence structure, and some mistakes like the unfinished sentence that did slip through - but I'd already submitted it when the final, short extension was given, so I opted against taking the day to look it over and repost; it seemed improper to take it back. And at the end of it all, despite the slapdash final sprint, I think it can work for someone whose fetishes line up nicely, so I'm content.

So that's that, then. If we're still doing the IOUs for art at some point, I'll leave my request for Remilia riding through the mansion's halls on the coeurl, using its whiskers for reins. If not, it's no big deal - writing porn is its own reward.
oh yeah, gimme like... Reimu carrying Marisa on her shoulders or somethin. Like when they were kids. UOme
File 153849672576.png - (200.22KB, 700x700, another cute reisen.png) [iqdb]
Hey. Dickheads. I ain't on anything except, like, vitamin D tablets. Jeez, guys. Meet me in /coriander/ and make sure you're not being followed.

No; I get it. I banged this >>/shorts/2210 out as my one post this year in case I yet again failed to resurrect my story thread. It's a high speed bullet train of the cheapest jokes ever minted 'cause I ended up not having the time to flesh out the scenes as I'd've liked to.

So, since it wasn't clear, all of the scenes take place in the Watatsukis' mansion except for the one in Ringo's station wagon. The story is set just after TH15, and I wanted to show where Reisen might've ended up after Bougetsushou—in a position where her skillset could actually be put to good use, which is all she really wanted to begin with. I basically failed to establish any of that, though.

I wasn't expecting any votes; not for this. As long as I made a few of you laugh, that's alright with me.
I wrote Arachne Wept.

In all truth, there's not much point reading real far into it, because it was written entirely off-the-cuff. The whole thing was kind of a temper tantrum fuelled by frustration with my main story. I wanted to prove to myself that I could finish something, and possibly even write without taking weeks and months to plan it out. Some people might think I didn't put any effort into the writing, but it took me more effort than I've been able to spare on anything recently; I brute-forced the whole thing to the end just because I didn't want to give up on it.

The funny thing is that I had entirely no plans of participating until that moment. Seems to happen invariably.
I entered Spring has Sprung. I did it so that this competition would have some competitors. If I hadn't, the only other lewd entry would have won by default. And where is the fun in that?

A lot of you complained about my shitpost entry. But consider this. We all saw that the lewd contest only had one entry, which isn't much of a contest at all. Yet out of everyone here, I, the nameless nobody who isn't even a real writefag, am the only one who stepped up to the plate and did something about it. Oh sure, when I got to the plate I basically just bunted, but that's still more than any of you who complained about my entry did. No, instead of trying to help make this contest a success, you lot just sat on the bleachers booing the players. I can understand booing me, but some of you even booed the other actual entry that actually had effort put into it.

My entry wasn't even entirely meant to be a shitpost. It was a stupid story that I only spent half an hour on to be sure, but it was a sincere attempt to write something funny.

None of you made an entry, you whined about the quality of the entries we got, and only 2 of you voted. You should all be ashamed.
While I didn't vote for either I did no booing, nor did I say the other entry had some sort of fault, just that it wasn't a subject I liked (and I just called yours a joke entry). I've hardly ever written lewd myself and don't believe I'll be interested in doing so any time soon so, eh
False Moon author here! Yes, I know, it sucked. But, well... I didn't necessarily make it to not suck. I made it based on seeing that very picture I used for the story.

Look at that Kaguya.

I couldn't not write something silly based on that Kaguya.

That said, I accept all critique I was given, as it is all very much so valid. The main reason it was as long as it was, and the main reason it felt so to be continued as well, was all to do with something very simple.

You see, I realized I had absolutely no idea how to end it.

I wrote, and I wrote, looking for a way out of the prison of my own design. I realized I never made a door. I never even made a way in, let alone out. I was trapped, and so had to keep writing and keep writing, patience with me growing thin and the clock ticking.

In the end, what was posted was not my A-game. It wasn't even by B-game. No, this was my C-game. My C--game, in fact. Still, I eventually just started writing an end, and I stuck to it. Finished on the second last day, and really didn't want to unpost it when you guys asked for an extension.




My main complaint is, and was, the length more than anything in particular. I never booed you, that said. Only teased you.

A lot.

It's kinda what I do, and it's not indicative of something being good or bad. For what it's worth, I gave you what critique I could come up with while I was voting. If I weren't busy writing a bad joke for the whole month, I'd have given lewding a try again. It's always fun to lewd, so sorry I inadvertently forced you to feel you had to do that. You have my thanks for filling in for a more competitive story.

Good hustle overall!


Also noted.
Do I even need to say what I wrote? Nonsensical plot, mood whiplash, Marisa with wings... yup, Message in a Bottle was me.

See, the thing is, it wasn't my first entry. Or my second. Or even my third. I blasted the whole thing out at the last minute, mindlessly following year-old notes, while sick, sleep-deprived and off my meds, because I wasted all my time before that writing an all-caps, obscenity-worshipping monster shitpost about a GIANT STONE PENIS. Yes, really. Should've taken those antipsychotics after all.

So that's where all the swearing and the dumb jokes came from. I honestly think that made it better, though, because otherwise the plot is basically Depression: The Story. The only remotely funny things that were supposed to happen were the channeling gag and the brick joke of Byakuren getting beaten up at the end. And it was all plagiarised from inspired by the doujin Jasper Star by Hashiya anyway, so go read that instead. Also, how many times can I re-use the same easter egg before anyone twigs?

I really wish I'd gunned for a lewd in the extension, but I was just too out of it. Why is my life nausea.

I also wrote Blooming Friendship. It was supposed to be my entry in the 2014 contest, but a week before the deadline I accidentally my life. I told myself I'd finish it when I got better, buuuuut yeah, not happening. So here it is, four years late to the hour. Kinda peeved I couldn't do it justice but if it brought a smile to at least one face then my work here is done.

Anyway, thanks everyone that wrote feedback, even the negative kind. I need the perspective. Because I suck at perspective. Can't even draw a stick figure without getting the proportions all wrong holy shit.

> Kosuzu

I actually have an entire CYOA planned out about that. Message in a Bottle is basically a sequel to its worst Bad End, in which both Kosuzu and Marisa end up becoming youkai. But I'm slow and it sucks and now I've spoiled the ending so I'll probably never write it.

> the reason for the beating

They tried to lynch him because they thought he'd been turned. Like how Reimu killed the owner of the Salt Mansion. Screwing with villagers is serious business.

> fae

Yes! someone got it! That's the vibe I was going for. Too many Touhou stories dive after the cute girls and ignore the supernatural part. This Yuuka is beautiful, but it's a flower's beauty.


I knew it! It was too damn good to be anyone else.


That's the second time you've made a funny, and the second time I've laughed my sides right off my body. Give yourself a pat on the back, and keep that vitamin D waaaaaay the hell away from me, I got enough crazy as it is.

Noooo! What have I done, unmaking the literary masterpiece of our generation?! C'mooon, make it still! It'd be sooooooooo freaking good, I can already tell! Because Kosuzu! And to a lesser degree Marisa! But mostly Kosuzu!

As for the fae stuff, that's because fae are of great interest to me due to my favorite story on the site (No Such Thing as Fairytales/Magic/Ghosts) shaping my tastes to a fairly extreme degree. Stories as hard as that leave one in Shadowrun mode, leading to such things standing out quite tall and proud.
> literary masterpiece of our generation

I'm sorry officer Kotohime, but I think you may have the wrong author. I'm afraid Keymaster hasn't been seen around these parts in years.

> Kosuzu

I... can't be overly specific without spoilers, but one should not wish to read this story for Kosuzu. Just as, say, one should not wish to read Tenshi is in This Story for Tenshi.

It is about her, though, and there is a great deal of Marisa, if you happen to be that way inclined. Though strictly speaking not all of Marisa makes an appearance. Make of that what you will.

I'm reliably informed that objectively awful cookie-cutter umbrella stories are in greater demand, though, so I may attempt to bake some more of those first, if my muse gives me any choice in the matter. Which, of late, it has not.

> Shadowrun

Why did you leave us, D47457341?

I feel like the Unbrella Advocates are just a very vocal minority. What the educated masses really want is a waifu wars story.

We should do a strawpoll on what type of story people around here would be interested in reading/voting in.
> poll

I already did that, and what my readers wanted was MOAR UMBRELLA YOU LAZY FAGET, with Shanghaijinx if that wasn't available.

There were two waifu wars options. I even put "waifu wars" in the titles.

Then again, anyone who reads my writing has shit taste by definition. And lots of patience OH GODS WHY AM I SO SLOW AAAAAAAAAAAAA-
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