I’m bad at giving praise. Moon bunnies and tsukumogami are great, and your moon bunnies and tsukumogami are great. Casual character interaction is something I have a terrible time with, but you nailed it. Reading this cured my tachycardia for a brief, hopeful hour. Please write more so I don’t die of heart disease.
As for the others—
Untitled the First
This almost got my vote. I’m a sucker for—I can’t quite pin it down clearly enough to label it, but—this style of prose and humour. It’s just that, comparing apples and oranges as it were, I suppose I liked Ringo better.
I’m not going to mention the technical errors, because I know you know and at this stage it can’t really be helped. I will say: I can imagine reading a passage like this as the beginning of a light novel—o~kay in terms of setting up a premise, but doesn’t quite stack up when taken as a stand-alone short.
I do like PC-98 stuff, and your story-telling is really quite good, but—I can’t get over the rhyming without a consistent meter. It just doesn’t work, for me. Sorry.
Piece of My Mind
If you were serious in >>14375, I really would’ve liked to see Phobe. I did like your Cirno, and I think it would’ve been cute.
Rolls and Roles
This was a good idea. —I must say, though, the block of exposition in the beginning outright describing their play styles was a shot in your own foot, there; the story did a pretty good job of establishing characterisation through actual play.
Eastern Wonderland, Bullet Heaven ~ The Great Cat War of 2016
Bluntly: there’s no story here. If I wanted to read an order of battle, I’d go to Wikipedia. You can’t really prop up what amounts to little more than idea on the sole basis of “it’s a crossover”.
It started off strong, and I really wanted to like it. But then the characters started talking, and the casual modern diction just felt at odds with the narration. I don’t know if that was intentional; the post image hints that it was. If so, it worked, in that it didn’t work.
That’s All There Is
Well, as the saying goes, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” I wrote this, and I don’t have anything nice to say about it, so.
Koishi Koishi: Koishi Koishi Koishi
I’m 100% Koishi.
This is good. It is. It’s got a very good atmosphere which I can almost feel, and I get the impression it’s my own fault it came off to me as dry. An issue of personal taste, I guess; sorry.
Once Upon A Time…
I need more of this. I mean that in the sense that it’s a good vignette, but the basic subject matter isn’t the freshest and it hasn’t been built up beforehand or followed up on, so it falls a little flat. The villagers’ impressions in the beginning did catch my attention, but the rest of it kind of fell through for me.
I’m not completely sure what happened, but I think I get it. You really barrelled through the plot, though, man. It’s a good concept, but how short the passages are between time-skips kind of kills the buildup.
Untitled the Second
Here’s some good-old-fashioned fun. I liked it. It felt like a crossover, but I guess it isn’t or else Google has failed me. Looking closely, though, you’re walking a fine line between having something be funny and having that thing no longer be funny because it’s been laid on too thickly.
Come in from the cold
I’ll be honest: I feel like a scene like this really relies on the strength of the words-on-the-page writing, and this is just a little too dry and a little too mechanically rough. Also, no fault of your own, but rhyming makes me irrationally angry.
Good show. Cheers, all.