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File 132421284026.png - (462.39KB, 656x1200, Yorihime is that awesome.png)
Yorihime is that awesome
[x] Ask Kaguya:
-[x] About the Royal Family and how it works. Is she Yorihime's cousin or something like that?
[x] Try to contact Renko or the fox lady.
[x] Try to contact the reanimated Miko.
-[x] Ask for information and/or assistance.

“Okay. So one more thing, Kaguya.”
“I'm listening.”
“You said something about Yorihime being part of the Royal Family, and you're a princess yourself, so are you blood-related?”
She chuckles for a bit.
“In a way, we are. But 'Royal Family' is rather a loose term, as it applies to every lunarian noble.”
“So it doesn't mean anything?”
“Actually, it means something. How to say it? Lunarian nobles who aren't part of the Royal Family are more or less outcasts.”
“Oh. So Toyohime and you aren't related?”
“Think about it. We're noble. Marrying with common blood, even if it's lunarian blood, is highly frown upon. I'm fairly certain that Lady Yorihime and myself are first cousin, or something like that.”
“Is it hard to enter in the Royal Family?”
She looks surprised for a moment, and then, she laughs, totally innocently.
“My, you're really decided, aren't you? I bet that 'giving up' is not part of your dictionary.”
“Don't look at me like that. It's really uncommon for an earthling to be that determined. No offense, of course.”
“And about my question?”
“Well, there's no real law, only unspoken rules, so I can't be totally sure. First, you must obviously be lunarian. And second, you must have some perk useful to the Royal Family.”
“A perk? What do you mean by that?”
“I'm not sure how it works, you should ask Eirin about that, but most lunarian nobles are special. For example, Yorihime can summon gods to assist her if needed. That aside, she's also very smart, and very skilled with a sword.”
“Ah, I see. And Toyohime?”
“Oh, her. Well, I never really talked to her, but I heard that she's very lucky, and that she could always manipulate the boundaries between the sea, the mountain, the Moon and the Earth.”
“I'm... not really sure what that means, Kaguya.”
“Not really sure either. Truth to be told, I never really asked. Ask something to Eirin, and she's go about it for an hour. And if you try to stop her, she'll look at you as if you're a total idiot.”
“I know that feel.”
Exchanging some polite phrases, you bid her farewell, and she wishes you good luck. That smile on her face is genuine. She's really hoping for a happy end for you. That's heart-warning, in a way.

You stretch yourself. That's all you wanted to know about the Lunar Capital. Now, what you need are information about Toyohime herself. Last time she tried to kill you, she was alone, and you almost managed to kill her before being disintegrated. This time, she'll probably still be alone, but you can expect more lunarian gadgets or weapons to kill you.
“Aaah... A true hero cannot take it easy, right?”
Just think about it. Since the time you left the Earth, your life grew really complicated. You fell in love with a Moon Princess, killed her asshole husband in a totally legit duel, were killed by another Princess, created a huge scandal on the Moon, forced said Princess to exile herself, while you were dead for two hundreds years. Strangely brought back to life, you walked for several years, before finding the entrance to some underground cavern. Down here, you were attracted by a little girl, and you managed to strangle an oni. Without killing him. After that, you ruined an old and haunted shrine, you ran to an old mansion full of demon rabbits, went to a mansion inhabited by a vampire, went to a demon shrine, and then you don't really remember what happened but you clearly punched many people.
After that, you had to discover what happened during those hundreds years, while bearing your body's decay, experimenting more fit of madness. Hired by a strange disappearing girl that you're not sure she's not a hallucination, you tried to drown a Lunarian lord, but you failed to kill him.
After that, you discovered that your payment was a small wooden box bringing people back to life, and then you went around resurrecting random people. After that, you were almost killed by a crazy little girl, and barely made it alive.
After that, you were totally and obviously wrongfully accused of some awful murder, and you had to go to the underground, again. After abducting a little girl, you finally managed to prove that you were totally innocent, and when you hoped you could take it easy for a while, the laboratory's owner that you looted several time appeared out of nowhere, trying to kill you.
And now, the woman that killed you two centuries ago is back to kill you again, and there's nothing you can do.
No, that's lying. There's something you can do. Stop saying 'after that'.
“I can also write a book about that! Gonna make me rich!”
That's a very clever idea.

But for another day. Because, now that you started thinking about it,you remember someone saying that the Hakurei girl was going to seal the land again. You're not sure about what it means, and quite frankly, you don't give a damn about that, but there's a chance it might help you.
Because, yeah, that thing she's preparing will seal the place, right? There's a chance it might trap Toyohime outside, protecting Yorihime. And, incidentally, you. Let's check this out.
You try to get up, only to notice that you're really getting weaker. For a normal person, it would be old age. For you, it's lunar dust poisoning. Sounds better. You'll ask someone to engrave this one your tombstone.
“Died from grounded moon rocks. They're pure poisons, trust me!”
You laugh. What a stupid death, indeed.

Walking back to your room, you quickly grab a few clothes, rather warm one. After all, it's already the afternoon, you don't plan to linger too long around. That would already be stupid on you were fine and healthy, it would be downright retarded now that you're sick and weak.
“Bah. Those Japanese people don't have any good clothes. I miss the good old tie, or the floppy necktie. They were damn cool, back in the days.” And people called you a nerd. You're just someone who wants to be classy. Nothing wrong with that.
Throwing the shirts all around the room, you finally find one who doesn't look that bad. After that, you just take a walking stick, a stethoscope just in case, and here you go!

Well, you must admit that you're disappointed by the awful Eientei security. It was already a mess before, but now that Eirin is using the rabbits to rebuild the laboratory instead of watching the area, you can leave the mansion by the main entrance without anyone trying to stop you.
Back in the day, when Reisen was keeping 'prisoner', there was still some challenge. Like, making a distraction, something like that. Now, all you have to do is just walk away.
Result is that you're now leaving the Bamboo Forest without any problem. You look over your shoulder, but nobody's following you. Well, unless they are invisible.

They can't be invisible, right? Right? Just to check, you suddenly stop walking. Nothing to hear. No other footstep. Everything's fine. You can walk around quietly.
It's midday when you reach the rebuilt and damn handsome Hakurei Shrine. With its goddamn insufferable thousands steps. Dammit.

You wave at the red girl drinking on the terrace, but she doesn't really notice you. She's just sitting here, drinking her tea.
Finally, she notices you. And resume that most important task of drinking her tea. Sounds like she's not really in a cooperative mood. And now that you think about it, she probably doesn't know anything about any lunarian shenanigan.
“Well, I'll come back later...”
“You came here for a reason. Tell me why.”
“I'm going to die.”
She freezes. And gently put her teacup on the terrace, careful not to drop it.
“Everybody dies. How is this different?”
“Next full moon. Next week. Toyohime from the Lunar Capital will cross the boundary between Moon and Earth, and she'll kill me.”
She sighs.
“Are you sure?”
“I wouldn't be bothering you if I wasn't sure about this.”
“Fine. Why are you telling me this?”
“Well, first, I wondered if you knew something important about her. And second, I want to contact the fox-lady.”
“The fox-lady? You mean Yukari's pet?”
“I'll tell her if I see her, but don't expect too much.”
“Thanks anyway.”
And with that, you leave her.

You're frustrated. You never expected that to be that useless. What did you learned? Nothing. All you gained was a vague 'I'll tell her'. That Hakurei girl is too lazy to be useful, and she obviously doesn't know everything.
Mumbling in irritation, you try to find something positive. And you fail. You couldn't learn anything, and you don't even know if that girl will indeed passes your message.
“Plan B.”
What's plan B already? Ah, yeah. You don't have a plan B. You'll have to improvise. And you'll have to be quick, night is coming.

[] Go back to the Eientei.
-[] Once you're back, talk a bit with Reisen.
-[] Once you're back, talk with Udonge.
-[] Once you're back, talk with Eirin.
-[] Once you're back, talk with Yorihime.
[] You're near the Human Village. Go see the Hieda girl. There's probably something interesting in her archives.


Also, if you're interested, there's a petition going on on the french website touhou.net. It's basically about asking ZUN to visit. If you're interested, you can find it here: http://touhou.net/sondage/view/2
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-[] Once you're back, talk with Eirin.

[x] thank the Author or his words of wisdom.
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[x] Go back to the Eientei.
-[x] Once you're back, talk with Eirin.
--[x] Tell her about everything. Every. Last. Thing.
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[x] Go back to the Eientei.
-[x] Once you're back, talk with Eirin.
--[x] Tell her about everything. Every. Last. Thing.
---[x] no really everything... yes that too.
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Yorihime is that awesome 2
[x] Go back to the Eientei.
-[x] Once you're back, talk with Eirin.

You're kind of out of options right now. No more plan, no more 'friends' to contact.
Yep, out of options.

Well, if you're really out of options, the best thing to do is to return to the hospital/clinic/asylum/whatever-the-hell-it-is. And maybe have a nice friendly little chat with Eirin. Maybe she'll tell you something you'll be able to use later.

Grumbling about how unfair the world is, you enter in the bamboo forest. You hate bamboo. They are dark and stuff. Can't see stuff. Annoying.
“I hate bamboo. I hate being sick. In fact, I hate being dying.”
Be positive. Once Toyohime is here, you won't be sick any more. Because you'll be dead! DEAD!
“Screw that, I'm not going to die. Unless I take her in the grave with me.”
Hu. You briefly wonder what happens to dead lunarians. Are they burned? Are they buried? You have no idea. You'll ask Eirin about that.
Or not, in fact. Since you killed her nephew or something like that, you're not going to ask that. She doesn't need to remember. Especially when you need her help to beat the hell out of her... step-niece? Former step-niece? You wonder who exactly is Toyohime's husband. Is she even married? Because, yeah, you knew that Yorihime's husband was an arrogant and sexist asshole, but you don't even know if Toyohime is married or not.
Well, it's not like you care. Unless you can kill her husband to reach her too. Mmm, you'll think about that. May be interesting.

You briefly sigh. Back in the days, when you left England, you decided you wouldn't kill anyone. And here you are, making plan to kill an innocent guy, just to hurt his wife. You're a horrible person. But it's not like you have any choice. After all, when you were sent to the Moon by the American government, you were asked to wipe out a whole civilization.
“It would be funny if everything wasn't so pathetic.”
Let's be honest. You don't want to defeat Toyohime because she killed you. The truth is that you want to kill her because her sister rejected you.
You stop walking, and you tilt your head. Is that the true reason? Is that why you're walking around, trying to get help from anyone?
“Is that why I'm still alive?”
You forgot about that. You were dead. And you're alive. There's a reason for that. Someone (probably Yukari Yakumo) resurrected you. And she probably didn't did it just because you're a handsome and smart guy. Well, the handsome part, you're not too sure about that, but you are smart.
Otherwise, you would already be dead by now.

That's it. You have to remember that. You are smart, and you will find a way out. You will find Toyohime's weakness, and beat her to her own game. Or die trying.
No, don't think like that. Be positive.
Yeah, like that! Positive!

“I'm busy. Go play with Udonge.”
You mentally wince at the cold welcome. But what did you expected? It's already a miracle that she didn't killed you yet.
“Got some time to talk?”
“Busy. Trying to understand what's that thing. Not mine. Never made that. Too nasty.”
Stepping in the room, you look over her shoulder. Just as you though, she's analyzing one of your creations.
“Good luck with that one. But are you sure you don't want to talk?”
You turns on herself, smiling happily.
“Why would I? You're dying. If you want to beg for your life, I'm afraid I'm not the good person for that.”
“I'm not really the begging kind of guy.”
“I understood that. Nice collection by the way. All poisons. Some nastier than the other.”
You look at her suspiciously.
“You... identified them? ALL?”
Her smile grows wider.
“I admit you're not half-bad. But I'm a genius. Medicines are my specialty. No matter what the poison is, I will crush it.”
That's... kinda scary, now that you think about it.
“Okay, you're better than me. I admit that.”
“You don't have to admit it. That's obvious.”
But she's getting on your nerves.
“Fine, FINE! You're the best.”
“I knew that.”
You want to bite her head off. But you're just going to pinch your nose really hard.
“Okay. Listen, Eirin. Can I ask you something?”
“If it's about the Moon, I'm not going to answer.”
“It's not. It's about Yorihime.”
Her face is serious all of a sudden. That's disturbing to see her changing so easily.
“If I got it right, she left the Moon to avoid being drown in the Sea of Tranquility. Right?”
“Who told you that?”
“That's not important, Eirin.”
“This is important.”
You look at her face. If you were a little sharper, you would be noticing that her lips are pressed together, looking like a pink line.
“It's the princess.”
“Which one?”
“... Hu?”
“Aaaanyway... I wanted to know if there was any way to...”
You hesitate for a bit, unsure what to say.
“I mean... Are lunarians biologically identical to human?”
Eirin stares at you.
“You're not giving up, hu?”
Actually, you want to know what happens when someone is thrown in the Sea of Tranquility, but you're not going to tell her that.
“Yeah. That's about that.”
“Well, the truth is that, on a biological point of view, lunarians and earthlings are identicals. However, on a spiritual side...”

“...and that's why the Hourai is a masterpiece.”
“Yeah, I understand that. What I don't understand is that part about cell life. If the Hourai really preserves life, it should make one timeproof.”
“That's why it's a masterpiece! Geez, I already explained you twice!”
“I'm a biological weapons maker! I'm not a life saver! I kill people, I don't heal them!”
“Blame yourself for you, you chose it!”
At first, it was an argument about how lunarians are superior and humans (or earthlings, as Eirin call them) are inferiors. But it quickly turned into a complete talk about lunarian civilization, its achievements, and that kind of stuff. From Eirin's talk, you managed to understand that you need twice more poison to kill a lunarian than you would need to kill a human, and you also understood that the thing defining lunarian is some kind of “purity”.
Long story short: just as Kaguya said, the Sea of Tranquility is filled with liquid sin. You don't know how it works, and quite frankly, you stopped caring about magical stuff. But the important thing is that lunarians are pure. In other words, they aren't carrying any sin on them. So, if one lunarian try to swim in the Sea of Tranquility, he would be corrupted. After that, Eirin switched topic, but since lunarian are pure, an impure lunarian probably turns back into a human.
But you don't really understand the part about this being an execution. And your head hurts, so you're not going to ask.
“Hold on Eirin. If you say I chose to be a killer, you're wrong! I'm only interested in biology!”
“But that still makes you a murderer. When I interrogated you, you said something about one of your creations being used to kill innocents. Even if you're not the only releasing it, you're still responsible for this.”
“That's unfair!”
“Life is unfair. I was a genius, and I had to leave the moon. I'm not going to cry for you.”
“My life isn't good either!”
After that, the discussion quickly turned into a shitty life competition.

You open the door.
“Leaving so soon?”
“I have things to do.”
Even when you're not watching her, you can feel Eirin's smile. It's like her malevolent happiness is radiating everywhere.
“You know you're going to be killed, no matter what?”
“Even like that, I'm still trying.”
There's a soft chuckle behind you. You want to leave, but your curiosity wants to know what Eirin's going to say.
“That's a little sad. You'll perish with your mystery.”
“Excuse me?”
“Your name. Tell me your name.”

[] “You really want to know everything, right? You're not interested in the people around you, you're just obsessed by things you may ignore. Fine, I'll tell you my name.”
[] “If you really think I'm going to die, why should I bother? I used Moriarty as a valid name for centuries! Well, not exactly centuries, but you get the idea. And if I must die, I'd rather have that name on my grave, rather than a murderer's name.”

And with that:
[] You've got nothing else to do. Your poisons are ready, you called for help. No more planning, no more preparations. Just wait for the full moon.
[] You can still try something! There's still something to do! Like:
-[] Wait for Renko's answer.
-[] Try to find Butler.
-[] Write-in.
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[x] You can still try something! There's still something to do! Like:
-[x] Wait for Renko's answer.
-[x] Try to find Butler.

[x] “You really want to know everything, right? You're not interested in the people around you, you're just obsessed by things you may ignore. Fine, I'll tell you my name.”

I am curious what his name will be, and if his nickname is 'whipping it out'. Maybe his last name will be Johnson.
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You know, one day I'm going to ask Tsurupettan if he can teach how to write NSFW so I can finally write that "whip it out" part.
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I dare you to write a series of one-shots with all the characters in this story. Especially Dead Reimu i would love to whip it out with her
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HAHAHAHA no way. Last time I tried writing sex scene, it was elsewhere, and it was compared to a talk about human reproduction rather than a fapfic.
You'll have to ask someone else.
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But, I trust you! You're a doctor, after all!
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[X] “If you really think I'm going to die, why should I bother? I used Moriarty as a valid name for centuries! Well, not exactly centuries, but you get the idea. And if I must die, I'd rather have that name on my grave, rather than a murderer's name.”

As has been said in James Bond - Live And Let Die: names are for gravestones. Nothing but dust and memories. The man called Moriarty would still be the same man if he would not be called Moriarty.
And about the other things: the moon is where it's at. The moon is the key. The moon is the answer. A war is not won on the defensive, waiting to get pummeled.
[x] You can still try something! There's still something to do! Like...
-[x] Finding Butler.
--[x] Making him get a bottle of Sea of Tranquility for you, no matter the way.
---[x] Heaven or hell.

She has new weapons. We'll have the most feared weapon of them all.
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[x] You can still try something! There's still something to do! Like:
-[x] Wait for Renko's answer.
-[x] Try to find Butler.

[x] “You really want to know everything, right? You're not interested in the people around you, you're just obsessed by things you may ignore. Fine, I'll tell you my name.”

You sigh.
“Are always that obsessed with things you ignore?”
“Always. So?”
You cover your face with you hand while speaking.
“My name is Branwen Gruffydd. Gruffydd is the surname while Branwen is my first name.”
“HA! I knew it! I KNEW IT!”
Shocked by Eirin's sudden outburst, you turn on yourself, to look at her. She's positively radiant. Like, really.
“Are you feeling alright?”
Instead of feeling insulted by your question, she quickly pounces you, grabbing both your arms, and start dancing around the room, dragging you around.
“HAHA! It's like having the final solution to a real problem! You know, you had me worried for a second here! I mean, my niece was dating a guy, a murderer, and I couldn't even figure your name! But now it's done! I unrevealed you! Totally! No more mysteries!”
“Let me go!”
“Never! Not unless you explain me everything! Why are you so ashamed of your name? Why so much mysteries, hu? You secretless sphinx!”
“Because Branwen is a name for a girl!”
Giggling, the happy genius keeps dragging you around the room, dancing in a really graceful waltz, occasionally humming an unknown tune.
At first, you try to resist, but then you understand that this woman already knew your name. She was just looking for a confirmation. Even with all the secrets you made, she still managed to figure out who you are. And let's be honest, that scares you. Giving your name to someone is like acknowledging them a power over you. That's why you always tried to hide your name.
“You were an easy one to find out, Mister Gruffydd.”
“Don't call me like that!”
“But you were still easy to find out. After all, despite your American accent, your behavior is still typically English.”
“Don't insult me!”
“Even for a goddess like me, figuring out where you came from was easy. You're not a good liar, you know? And after that, all I had to do was looking for an English scientist who disappeared mysteriously.”
“And you did that in a few days? Mind telling me how? You're in a remote place here! You don't even have electricity!”
“SCIENCE! And also Udonge. She's always useful in case like that.”
And then, you understand everything.
“You! You asked Udonge to investigate about me?”
Still dancing to her own tune, the goddess nods happily.
“Yes! And she did a good job! Reliable, sweet, sexy and nice Udonge!”
“But... how did she did that?”
“The Moon, doctor! The Lunar Capital keeps archives of anything!”
You try to stop her from dancing, but she's too strong for you, and she keep dancing, still dragging you around.
“But then Toyohime will figure out who I am!”
“How does that matter? From your own confession, you don't expect to survive!”
“That's a name problem!”
“Haa, name name name. As a scientist, you must know that one's name does not hold any power.”
Pissed off by the fact that even while dancing with a genuinely happy smile all over her face, she manages to outsmart you, you break free from her grasp, and leave the room.
Even when walking down the corridor, you can hear her singing.
“No more mysteries! No more secrets! I figured them out! All of them!”
One day, you'll bring a sudoku game to that woman, since she loves mind games that much. Creepy old lady... Just because she figured out something minor like your name, she dances! Just how immature is that? Would you dance if you could find out, you don't know, Toyohime's weakness or something? Would you dance?

Yeeah, you would most probably. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! That woman is a goddess, she repeats that constantly! Therefore, she should act like one, instead of dancing whenever she feels like it! That's just acting like a child.
“Says the guy who killed his lover's husband.”
There are many things in your life that you regret. Constantly. Everyday. But you always shrug, saying that everybody can makes mistakes. But the biggest regret you have currently is what you've done to Yorohime.

Well, technically, it's not your fault, but you're the one being rejected because of that. But, still, technically, if the moon's fault. Seriously, executing someone because of … nothing? Because she did nothing! You're the one who arrived, killed her husband, slept with her, and ruined her life.
Great, now you feel bad. What were you doing on the moon anyway? You were just obeying order!

And then, you remember. Milgram experiment. Anyone can do horrible things when he receive the order to do so by a superior authority. And that's what you've been planning. You wanted to wipe the Lunar civilization, because you've been ordered to do so.

King's Cross. That's where the gas was released. Your gas. It quickly spread into the underground part of the station. You never knew how many people died back then. All you knew is that it was your gas. And that you were doomed, should you loiter around in United Kingdom for too long.
London. Population: maybe 9 millions. Even like that, you gas probably only killed... a few thousands people. A few thousands. A drop. But a damn, bloody drop.
You wonder how many people are living on the Moon. If you add to that the several moon rabbits that you saw. That's not even in the hundreds. According to your calculations, anyway, and since you never really had the chance to visit the whole capital, you're probably underestimating.

Dropping your walking stick on the ground, you raise both your hands, and you slap your face.
You can't think such things. You made mistakes, but you can't spend the rest of your life curled in a corner, hugging your knees, and wishing you could fix this. Because you can't. Nobody can. It's just too late. You killed many people, and you tried hard to avoid killing more people. Sometimes, you managed to, and sometimes not.
You still hate the moon, but you were genuinely happy when you heard that the lunarian priest that you tried to drown made it out alive. It would have been a good thing to kill him, but it's a better thing to not kill him.
Stop thinking about that. You can't have the luxury to regret whatever you did. Because Toyohime is coming in a week, and she's going to kill you. Unless you kill her first. It's 'kill or be killed'. Not time for things such as 'I don't want to kill anybody'. Unless you want to die. Do you want to die?
Wonderful. Then make plans! Prepare your weapons! Hide acids vials in your backpack, and be ready to throw them in Toyohime's face once she's in front of you!

That's not like you, thinking about the past. Is it the perspective of your incoming death that makes you think? Or is it the fact that, with Yorohime now hating you, you lost everything you had? Just... stop thinking about that. That's not going to help you.
You have no idea how you're supposed to make a woman fall in love with you, so you can't really gain Yorihime back. And even if you knew, you don't want to manipulate her. Because you love her.
So let's move to the next part of your plan. Finding that Butler guy.
“Ugh... Butler.”
Thinking about that, does he have a name? Those guys at the village were all wearing masks. Maybe they don't even have name. Is Butler a guy from the village?
Bah, whatever. Why would you care? You just need him.
Gently calling the rabbit with your melodious voice, you check the bottle you quietly took in your former office.
Sulfuric acid. That will do. After all, you want to avoid killing people, but if they get difficult, having a bottle of acid can come in handy.

“I don't know! Why don't you leave me alone? I have things to do!”
“If it's from Toyohime, that's not important thing. So, let me ask you AGAIN. Where is he?”
“I don't know!”
“You know, I wonder if those ears of you are erogenous area. What would happen if I pinch them?”
“Don't touch me, you monkey!”
Okay, that's kind of your fault. Maybe you shouldn't have provoked her. But she's uselessly rude. If you don't like rude people.
“Say the white rabbit. Do you know that your kind is eaten in my home-country? If you don't want me to eat you, just tell me where I can find that butler.”
“I already told you, I don't know!”
“Nonsense. Everyone here calls him the butler. Except you. You call him Commander for some reason.”
“And he left. While being bedridden. I bet he just flew away, right?”
“Listen, if it wasn't for Lady Toyohime's order, I would already have killed you, so-”
“Drop the tough girl act and spill it out already. Unlike you, I don't have time to waste.”
“What part of 'I don't know' escape your comprehension?”
“What part of 'I'm going to test my new poison on you if you don't do as I want' don't you understand?”
“How many time must I tell you? I DON'T KNOW!”
“Nonsense. You must know something, anything, that would leads me to him. And why do you call him Commander, by the way?”
“He said he was a wizard! Just go where a wizard is supposed to be! I'm a rabbit! How am I supposed to figure where a mongrel would hide?”
“Useless, stupid, bloody rabbit!”
You leave the room while loudly cursing the bunny. You know she's hiding something, but she's very determined to not let you get near that butler. Damn her, you'll find him yourself!
Since he's a wizard, he must be hiding himself in an underground dungeon, preparing some evil plan while petting his goatee. And laughing in an evil way. And wearing an evil-looking dress.
No, wait. That's retarded. He's a butler. A Butler, with a capital B! He must obviously be hiding in that red mansion you saw earlier! All you have to do is entering in an evil-looking mansion. Simple.

Or not. After all, it's nice and dark now. Don't take any risk. You'll do that tomorrow. Tomorrow. It's important to sleep once in a while.
Scratching your back, you walk back to your room. Time for sleep. Food can come tomorrow. If you can take some from the kitchen. And take some rice balls to pay the rabbits. It's surprising to see how far you progressed. Now, obvious magic doesn't bother you, and you're not scared of rabbits any more. That's very good.
You enter in your room, and you lock the door for the night. You don't want any bad surprise.
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Okay, sorry. I completely ignored your vote.
Shoulda told earlier that I closed votes.
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Eh, it's all right. Your idea worked better anyway.
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Perhaps, but the idea of using the Sea of Tranquility is really original, so I think I'll give it a try.
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”Wake up.”
Sleep. You'll need energy tomorrow.
”Hey, wake up. You wanted to see me. And I'm here.”
What's on your to-do list?
”Hello? Don't you have questions for me?”
Open your eyes.

You're lying on the ground. You're not in your bed any more.
And yet you closed your damn door. Speak about security in a mansion. Even with 2 moon rabbits perfectly trained in their own specialties, one can still enter like the whole place is a damn windmill.
“Remind me to never call Udonge if I need some help in a security problem.”
“Do not turn back.”
Says a female voice, coming from behind you. You immediately want to turn back, but you're too annoyed what you see.
Or, should you say, by what you can't see. Because you can't see shit, doctor! Everything's pitch black! Well, save for you. You can see your own hands. That's good. Where's the light coming from?
“Where am I?”
“You are inside my border.”
Says the voice.
“That's really making that whole thing obvious, thank you a lot.”
You do know your voice is an almost perfect embodiment of sarcasm, right?
“Magic. I am not going to waste my time explaining you.”
“I have the feeling you're considering me as a retard.”
“Not exactly.”
“Mind telling me your name?”
“I am Yukari Yakumo, human.”
You heart jumps. Everything's okay after all! It's not another lunarian trick to try and kill you while you're sleeping! It's fine!
“Why so much mystery, then? Why don't you want me to see your face?”
You wait, but she doesn't give you any answer.
“That's a pretty good reason. Anyway, I have another question.”
“Go on.”
“Several years ago, I went to United States. Somehow, despite the financial crisis, they were able to finance an space program.”
“Eirin suggested that program was financed by private funds. Did you do it?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Because I needed you on the Moon.”
You briefly wait for an explanation, but nothing comes. Look like you'll need to ask if you want anything.
“And why?”
“Are you familiar with the expression 'kicking an anthill'? That was the plan.”
“Excuse me?”
“I just needed a change.”
You resist the urge to turn your face to stare at that mastermind.
“Are you telling me you sent me to the moon to create a change?”
“As a matter of fact, I did.”
“If it was really your plan, I guess I failed. Since I failed the mission I was given too.”
There's a soft chuckle coming from behind you. You sit on the ground, rubbing your face. You don't like complicated questions without having your morning coffee. Beside, you feel like you're missing something important. Think, Moriarty, think. What are you missing?
“I never wanted you to kill anyone. I just wanted to shake the anthill. And what could be better than a man?”
You think you're not supposed to answer that question, but you try to answer it anyway.
“A woman?”
“Incorrect. Just you, my pawn. My trump card. My joker.”
“Hold on.”
You're missing something important here, but you have... something. A starting point for a reflexion.
“What is it?”
“You know me. You didn't sent me to the moon because I was here. You know me, probably for a long time. You said pawn. Now wait, what does it means?”
You try to think, but you're too tired. There's something here... She knew you before. You must know her too. Otherwise she wouldn't be hiding.
“Keep thinking. But will you like the answer? I wonder about that.”
“I... know you. I'm sure of that. If I didn't, you would be hiding from me.”
There's a small noise as she hits you on the head with a fan.
“Tsk tsk tsk. I told you you wouldn't like the answer. Don't try. Just ask me whatever you wanted to ask me, and let us separate as good friends.”
“I want...”
The truth. You want the truth. It doesn't matter if it hurts you. Meh, hurting you. Nothing can hurts you any more. Not after what Yorihime told you.
“What do you want? Do you want my help? Do you seek my assistance?”
“Who are you?”
“The name's Yukari Yakumo.”
“Did I met you before?”
She sighs.
“Your voice sounds familiar. Tell me, Yakumo. Are you blonde?”
When she speaks again, her voice is totally different. From the mocking yet happy voice, she's now speaking in a cold and venomous tone.
“Do you really have to ask? I told you, you won't like the answer. So don't ask.”
“I'm fairly confident that nothing can hurts me any more. Are you blonde?”
And then you understand the whole plan.
Two centuries ago, you were a kid. Well, not really a kid. Let's say a teen. But you were a good for nothing. Always spending your days drinking and fighting. Each day was like the previous day. You didn't really minded. Truth to be told, you were fine with that. But one day, you met someone. Being drunk, you don't really remember that encounter, but you remember that the both of you talked a lot. She told you her name was Maribel Han. You told her your name was Branwen Gruffydd. You don't remember much of that day, but you know that, when she left, you decided to enrol. Oxford university. Cost you your studio flat, by the way.
“So that's it. You manipulated me into-”
You begin to think aloud, but she cuts you, her voice now completely venomous.
“Do not start. I never manipulated you. This is why I don't like dealing with human. When everything works fine, they take all the spoils, but when things go wrong, they're quick to blame someone else.”
You stand up in the darkness, stretching your neck.
“Sorry to said it, then. But if you weren't here, I would still be living in Cardiff, having a shitty job.”
“And you say I manipulated you? I just told you there was another way.”
“Excuse me?”
You stretch your arms.
“I never pushed you. I only showed you the way.”
“That's a very nice story. I'll think about that later, but for now, I have another trouble.”
And that's the truth. That's a very shocking fact that you were manipulated by that woman, but you'll think about it later. You know it, and that's very good, but now you need to analyze that fact. And you don't want to bother about that for now. Not any more.
“That woman is coming, right?”
“Is that the part where I'm impressed and where I ask how you know it?”
Your own voice is dripping with sarcasm now.
“No. You do not. This is the part where you ask for my help.”
Her tone changed. From the venomous tone from earlier, it's now a more relaxed voice. You only see one explanation. She's happy that you don't want to bother about that manipulation part for now.
“Okay. Well I'm going to ask for your help.”
“Go on. How can I help you?”
“Can you provide me with some of the Sea of Tranquility's liquid?”
“Mare Tranquillitatis. Kaguya told me it wasn't water. I may use it against Toyohime.”
“Well, technically, I can get some.”
“I don't like that 'technically'. It means that you won't do it.”
“Actually, I am going to do it. But you should be careful. That thing will attract attention. Not only from your nemesis, but also from other things. Be careful.”
“I'm always careful.”
“Farewell then.”
The darkness slowly fades.
“I have one last question. Why me?”
“Because I needed a patient to test those shards. Who could do it better than a expert?”
“So, when I brought that Hakurei girl back to life, it was part of your plan?”
“Actually, no. I never planned that. But it is for the best.”
“I want to know-”
You jump to your feet.

Wow. You actually jumped to your feet. Without any assistance. Does that mean you're getting better? You try walking around. Yep, you definitely feel better. Now you're able to walk without using some walking stick. But you'll keep it around, just in case, it may be temporary.
What a weird dream you had! A random encounter in a bar was in fact an evil mastermind trying to bring change to the Moon for shit and giggles, and she resurrected you for fun. Weirdest dream you ever had. Except maybe that time when you dreamed you were eating cheese, when suddenly Burger King arrived and killed you by shoving a burger down your throat.
That wasn't a weird dream. That was more like a nightmare than a dream. Speaking of dream, what's that thing?

It looks like a bottle. A little bottle. A plastic bottle. Made of plastic. Try to remember. Polymers of high molecular mass. Usually mixed with other stuff. Chemistry isn't your thing. You're pretty sure you can beat Eirin if it's about biology, but a kid could beat you if it's about chemistry. You hate chemistry. You wish chemistry could go die in a fire.
But consider how toxic plastic is, you probably shouldn't. But you never made any research about how toxic plastic is.
But, again, you should probably focus on something more important. For example, it's morning. Your doors are both locked, from the inside AND from the outside (thank Reisen for that). And yet, yesterday, you didn't had that bottle of black goo stuff. And yet, you're pretty sure there's a damn good explanation for this.
Obviously, a wizard did it. And speaking about wizards, you're after one, right now.

[] Wizards are obviously found in library. Find the nearest library. Also, see if you can find some cheese along the way. You want to eat cheese for some reason.
[] Take a coffee first. You won't be able to go for long if you don't take a coffee. Mmmm, coffee. How you missed it. Black coffee. Milky coffee. It doesn't matter how you call it, you need it to think properly.

-Walking stick (right hand).
-Stethoscope (around your neck).
-Bottle of black goo shit stuff (in your pocket).
-Wooden box (somewhere. You're not sure where).

I wanted to use a picture of Yukari being an evil mastermind, but I couldn't find one. Beside, she's not that evil in that story. Just chaotic. And that burger king reference is free.
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[X] Wizards are obviously found in library. Find the nearest library. Also, see if you can find some cheese along the way. You want to eat cheese for some reason.

Lets just hope the local cheese shop isn't out of everything.
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Just wanted to post that picture here because Yorihime has a nice ass on it.
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[X] Wizards are obviously found in library. Find the nearest library. Also, see if you can find some cheese along the way. You want to eat cheese for some reason.

Focus on target. (Also, I need to find a way to get your story more readers...)
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[x] Wizards are clearly found in coffee! All kinds of wizards, in fact, Because they always make [i]no fucking sense[/].

Whip it out anon is kinda ashamed he forgot to vote for a while.
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[x] Wizards are obviously found in library. Find the nearest library. Also, see if you can find some cheese along the way. You want to eat cheese for some reason.
-[x] Check in your coffee. Sneaky wizards, they're everywhere.

You take a deep breath.
You could probably kill an entire army with your feared Morning Breath attack. Best to wash your teeth. Or your mouth. Whatever. Let's fix that. You can't think when you're followed by some horrible stench.

Gracefully kicking the door open, you proceed to walk, while loudly complaining about morning people and how disgusting they are.
Finally reaching the kitchen, you look around. Nobody in sight. Cool. You open the tap, filling the sink with water. Once it's full, you take a deep breath, and you plunge your head in the water.
You take your head out. You feel better. Even if you're still disgusting, not shaved, with your bloodshot eyes, the scars on your chest, and that ridiculous boxer.

Wait a minute, a boxer? You're sure you went to sleep with all your clothes on! What the hell- oh hey why do you care?

You blow in your hand. Ugh, still disgusting. You feel better, but your Morning Breath attack is still deadly. Freshen that too. But before that, go back to your room, and put on some clothes. Because with a stethoscope around your neck and a boxer around your crotch, you look more like a pervert than a doctor.
“I hate morning. Bet it's a Monday. Or a Wednesday. I hate Wednesday.”
Walking back to your room, you barely acknowledge someone walking past you, greeting her with a “Baaaaah”, while she answers with a “Greeeu”. You're not the only one in this place not being a morning person. How comforting to know that someone else is feeling like shit.

Being finally visible by kids, you leave your room again, leaving the wooden box behind you. Mostly because you think that's a heavy burden to decide who can lives a second time, but also because you just want to eat something. You'll come back.
“Hello Maste- oh it's you.”
“Hello to you too!”
Udonge's happiness is disgusting. When you're having a bad morning, you want to see sad people, to laugh at them and stuff. You don't want to see happy people.
“Where's the damn coffee?”
“I'm afraid Master drank it all.”
Damn old lunarian hag. You hate hag. Especially when they're lunarian. And especially when they can kick your ass in your own specialty.
“Where's the goddamn coffee?”
“Master drank everything.”
“The bean.”
“Excuse me?”
“Coffee beans. Where do I find them?”
“Ummm... In the storehouse.”
“Thanks you too.”
Leaving the irritatingly happy bunny, you walk to the storehouse, gracefully kicking every door in the way, until you finally reach the coffee bag. You open it, grab a few beans, and eat them.
“Mmm... Everything feels like shit today.”
You briefly wonder why you're eating coffee beans, and when you remember. Morning breath. Eating coffee beans kill it.
“Take that, bitch. Morning breath is such an ass in the pain.”
Or is it the other way around? You don't know. And, frankly, you don't care. All you want to do today is hug Yorihime, find Butler, snuggle up to Yorihime, ask for Butler's help against Toyohime, hold Yorihime's long hair, and eat some cheese.
And you already know that you won't be able to even touch Yorihime. Therefore, it's already a bad day before it even starts. Bah, you'll just have to make Toyohime's life worse in revenge. That's petty, but that's all you have.

“Hello again, professor Moriarty!”
“Yes, me too! Happy day!”
Udonge... She's so happy she's probably radioactive right now. Better stay distant, just in case.
“Did you forgot the coffee?”
“The coffee, you sleepyhead?”
She's so happy, she's probably leaving a damp happiness trail everywhere she goes.
Turning on yourself, you walk back to the storehouse. You hate this place. So much hope, and everything was crushed. What an awful day.
“There are no words to properly describe how much I hate Monday.”
Assuming it's really Monday, of course.

“Thank you for the coffee, Mister Grumpy!”
Ignoring Udonge's happiness, you sit on a cushion, and place your head on the table. Despite the fact that you plunged your head in cold water, you feel sleepy. Again. It's like you couldn't sleep during the night. Thinking about that, you have a vague memory of a strange dream. Something about a mare in a bottle. Or something like that.
That's funny, you have a bottle of black goo in your pocket. Well, it's obviously not a mare. Unless mare means black goo. And you doubt that's it. So that's probably that – or the other thing.
Interrupting your wild thoughts, Udonge places several pills in front of you, with a cup of coffee. Eirin's medicines. The only thing keeping your alive. Your nemesis is keeping you alive. No wait! Your nemesis is Toyohime! After all, she's the one who killed you. Eirin is... your rival? Something like that? Well, considering her abilities, if you were to challenge her in a poison duel, she would most probably kick your backside in a most impressive fashion. You don't trust that “god” thing, but you recognize her as very good. Of course, you'll rather jump from Big Ben rather than saying it out loud, but she's way better than you.
“Thank you.”
In a most impressive inhuman effort, you manage to mumble a decent thank-you speech to the nice and happy rabbit. Then, you swallow the pills, before moving to your coffee.
There's a face in your coffee.

Are you panicking? Because if you're not, that means you're really sleepy. Let's repeat it again: THERE IS A FACE IN YOUR COFFEE. Like a reflection. And it's not your face. Because you have long hair, an no-that-well-shaved chin, and bloodshot eyes. And the face reflected in the coffee belong to a guy you dislike but respect. It's the Butler's face. In your coffee.
Well, not really Butler, since you're supposed to call him Commander or something. Fancy titles. Why not Count or something arrogant like that?
Whatever. You're not going to bother with something like that. You just throw the cup in the sink. This is a bad day. Just clench your teeth until you can go to bed again.

“Would you stop calling me like that, Doctor?”
“Butler is a wizard. Wizards are found in library. Where's the nearest library?”
“Butler? You mean the unnamed patient? Well, there's the Scarlet Devil Mansion, but-”
“See ya later.”
Having placed all your stuff in a backpack stolen borrowed from the storehouse, you leave the Eientei. Well, at least you try to. But when you hear Eirin's call, you know it's going to be your second worst day in your life.
And, of course, she HAS to use that girly name your retarded parents gave you. You hate everyone. Except Yorihime.

“What's the big deal, Frau Eirin? I'm in a hurry right now.”
“I just want to ask you a few questions.”
Oh, great. She's talking like a policewoman here. What's the next step? Handcuffing you and dazzling you with a light?
“Go on.”
But instead of asking directly, the cursed lunarian starts walking around. Literally. You briefly wonder why you're still here. And then, you remember that she has your life in her hands. Until you find a way to heal yourself, you're not even a prisoner. Just a walking dead.
“You see, it's common for a human to focus his attention on a single female. The pheromones, but most probably one's personal beauty criteria will matter. It's not unusual for a subject A to be attracted by a female, while subject B won't be attracted. Increasing pheromones won't change the subject's behavior toward the female.”
Oh, dear, not that again? You're a genius yourself, and that stuff is kindergarten-easy.
“Yeah, I know. Could you cut that and tell me what's the problem?”
She stops walking, and stares at you.
“It's not unusual for a human to be attracted by a lunarian. It happened a lot to the Princess before. She managed to get rid of her followers by giving them impossible requests. And they gave up.”
You slowly understand her point.
“So you're saying I did more than them, and you want to know why?”
She nods.
“This is illogical.”
Annoyed by her statement, you quickly retaliate.
“You have no idea what you're talking about if you're saying that love doesn't make sense! Because, yeah, I'm not talking about attraction here. I don't want to marry Yorihime, or just have sex with her. I just want to be with her.”
Turning her face away, she just answers that. As if it's enough to explain everything.
“Eirin! You're, what, making medicines, right?”
“I do.”
She looks cautious here. She doesn't understand where you're getting at, and she doesn't like that. That lunarian hates not understanding things. That's obvious.
“I'm making poisons. I can make drugs to kill people in horrible ways, I can suggest them everything I want. And that's the difference. You save people, while I use their flaws against them.”
“And you're suggesting that you, with your monkey lifetime, can lecture me? When you were shivering and freezing in your caverns, I was already working to create an eternity in a bottle.”
Usually, you would be retreating, wary of Eirin's angry tone. But it's Monday, you didn't had your coffee, no breakfast, no good-morning kiss, and a long day coming. So you're quite pissed off yourself.
“Oh yeah, insult me! Go on! Don't think you know everything, lunarian! I, unlike you, died once! And you? Oh, yeah, right, you never died! Don't try to impress me with your 'I-know-everything' act! The fact that you asked me how I feel about Yorihime is already enough to prove that you don't know shit about relations!”
“Don't speak to me like that, you monkey!”
“Don't speak to me like that, you lunarian!”
“Earth crawler!”
“Moondust sucker!”
“John Madden!”
“No you!”

After that, you honestly don't remember who, but someone started throwing bottles. At first, it was fun, but when you kicked Eirin's desk to make a barricade, there was an explosion as several solutions mixed on the floor.
But you're pretty sure everyone will be fine. After all, blowing up the laboratory is almost a weekly routine, right? It's just, like... maybe the third time it blows up. Or the second time. You're not sure, and the fact that you're covered with Ammonium Sulfide is kind of making you lose your concentration.
“Smells like chicken.”
Dead chicken, by the way. With her rotten eggs.
You'll have to take a swim before entering in that mansion.

Wanted to write something romantic about love, but I though it was becoming to cliché and too romantic, so I replaced it by another quarrel between two crazy scientists. Because it seemed in character for Eirin to be arrogant and knows-it-all. Well, I think she's a nice person, but don't get her started about biology, medicine, and all that stuff. That's HER stuff, and she's not sharing.
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> I think [Eirin is] a nice person

Someone elses, maybe. You, on the other hand, havn't really shown us that.
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So we get an extremly useful weapon, and it gets used up in two updates without thought. Just great.

So now what?
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Yorihime is that awesome 34
Yeah, I really have a problem with that story now.
To be short, I started that story as a comedy story, to make fun of grimdarks stories.
Because, when you think about it, F.A.G.'s world is really shitty. And yet, it's still a "funny" story, since the MC doesn't cares about that.
My plan was to gradually switch the story's mood, from a comedy story, to a serious story (to reflect the fact that Moriarty is saner as the plot advances).
But now, there's a problem.
I want to write a serious end to this story, but that's not fun to write. I mean, people punching each other for stupid reasons is fun, but people trying to kill each other isn't.

So, until I find an answer, that story is on hiatus.
Don't say I'm abandoning it, or I'll follow you home and kill your dog!

Here, have a Yorihime.
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What if she is my dog?
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De quoi?
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It doesnt need to be funny. The end to Event Horizon was not funny either and it still became one of the most epic movies ever. If on the choice between a serious, dramatic, sad ending that closes the coffin with a final, loud bang or a lighthearted ending that lets everything warble on without end I'll rather take the first one and have a solid ending.

Because what has more impact: A bloody last stand or a 'and they lived happily ever after'?
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The happy ending. Just because everyone always wants to be edgy and give their stories dramatic endings.
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Hugh Blugh huge bitch
“Hey, hello!”
“您好 !”
“Huuu, yeah, hello. Would you mind helping me? It's complicated and stuff...”
“Okay, nevermind.”
Your first action is of course to visit Butler's former workplace, but the fact that the gate guard is speaking Chinese is kind of complicating things. You pinch your nose. As if things weren't complicated enough, you have to deal with an old language.
This is really a bad day. You begin to doubt you'll be able to locate Butler before Toyohime's arrival. And your instinct is telling you that you'll need help in order to make the moon bitch bites the dust.
No, not bitch. You have to be polite. Let's say the moon murderer.
But being polite doesn't fix your current situation, there's still a Chinese wall between you and your goal. Usually, then there's someone in your way, your first logical action is to spray it with a poison or an acid. But, well, the only poison you have is a liquid one. It must be injected. And even if that Chinese seems legit so far, you doubt she'll let you stab her with a syringe.
“I think we reached a dead end. Can I ask you to contact the Butler? He's small, and looks like he's constantly trying to find out the best way to kill you.”
“Yes, I was expecting you to say something like that. Something that sounds like 'I'm busy'.”
“Or maybe you can ask me if I speak Japanese, you know?”
You jump and scream in a really stupid way.

“You could've told me you were speaking Japanese!”
“You never asked.”
“You never SAID!”
“You never asked.”
“Argh, forget it. I'm looking for a shady guy that was working in that shady mansion for a while.”
“The moon dog?”
“You're looking for the former mansion butler, right?”
“Yeah, but what were you saying about the-”
“He's not here anymore.”
“Yeah, really interesting, but what about the-”
“It's not like he can really leave, you know. Working for the Mistress is always a stain on your soul. Or should I say fate?”
“Riveting tale, chap, but-”
“You see, the Mistress can affect one's fate. I think she changed his fate. A lot.”
“Nice, but what about-”
“I heard that without her, he would already be dead.”
“Yeah, nice, but-”
“Anyway, he's not here any more.”
“What did you said about the Moo-”
“I believe this is time for you to leave.”
“Hey, wait!”
But she leaves you, hiding behind the heavy gate. That annoying bitch- you mean woman made you a fool! That's frustrating, and kind of annoying too. If a gate guard can mock you that easily, it means you're going to have trouble dealing with smarter people. Like, maybe, Toyohime. Or maybe Toyohime. Bah. Do you even need to mock her? All you'll have to do is taunt her, kick her royal and divine ass, and that'll be over.
Yep, everything will be over. Since you don't even have a plan about what to do next. But screw the plan. Let's find that butler. That slippery butler.

“Hello there fellow human! Would you mind showing me the way to the Hieda mansion?”
“VVT|=? G3T 105T, 8UDDY.”
“Nice day to you too, I hope your family will die in pain!”
Ignoring the cursing villager, you quickly move on.
Truth to be told, you already knew that the Human Village wasn't really bright, and that most inhabitants of that place were illiterate retards unable to even write their own name, but you weren't expecting it to be that bad. It's like every guy is using his own dialect in that shithole of a place.
Being a gentleman, and a scholar, thou arth rightfully shocked and disgusted by thy awful language.
“Hello good fellow. Would you mind leading me to the Hieda mansion?”
“Why hello thar! Iss right that way! Haw a nice day!”
“Thank you.”
Look like you just met the Village's genius. Hell, the World's first human genius. Mankind is doomed, but you never cared about it anyway.
You knock at the door.
“Who's there?”
“Doctor who?”
“Doctor Moriarty.”
There's a cute little noise, and the sounds of several locks being opened. Soon, the door opens, and you're allowed to face the last Hieda girl again.
“Hello there. How you've been?”
“Good, thanks! But come in, please!”
You quickly enter in the mansion, feeling really uncomfortable.
“I'm looking for someone...”
“Ha yes! I knew you had a reason to come here... But don't worry! Just sit while I prepare some tea.”
Like you're going to sit on your back, waiting for a little girl to do all the work.
“No, you go sit, I'll take care of the tea.”
“But you're the guest!”
“I'm 228 years old. Probably. Well, probably just 32, if I don't count the time spent being dead and stuff. But point is, I'm older than you, therefore I do the hard job.”
“Oh. All right then!”

But you must admit one thing. You're a first genius when it's about biology. You're pretty good when it's about chemistry. You're not bad when having to fight your way into something. And yet, there's something that completely escapes your wonderful brain.
Making tea.
“Ummm, you're not forced to drink it.”
“You're a guest. That would beeeAGH.”
“Sorry! Sorry! It was just a reflex, because, you know, the taste is so... new! Yeah, new!”
“Nevermind that. That tea is just disgusting and awful.”
You drop the teacup through the window.
“Umm, if you say so...”
There's a loud crash, and an angry shout.
“Anyway, I wanted to ask you, did you saw a shady-looking wizard sneaking around?”
“Yeah. Like a magician. A shady-looking guy, with bandages all over his chest.”
“Oh, you mean Blaidd?”
What. Blaidd?
“Excuse me?”
“Well, someone like that passed yesterday. He said his name was Blaidd.”
“That... doesn't sound like a Japanese name.”
“I know. But that wasn't the strangest thing about him.”
“Tell me, I'm listening.”
“He wasn't walking.” Noticing your obvious lack of surprise, she repeats it, insisting on every word. “He. Wasn't. Walking.”
“I hear it the first time. So what, he was crawling?”
“No. He was just floating. Constantly floating.”
“That's really nice. But remember, I said he was a wizard, okay?”
“No, I mean... He was like a doll, not moving a single limb. Just floating.”
“Remember that part where I said he was a wizard?”
“But he was just floating!”
“Wizard, magic, stuff.”
“At first I though he was a doll.”
“I had a really bad morning myself.”
“But he was still moving around!”
“And then I had a fight with Eirin.”
“I still don't know if he's really living, or if he's a doll.”
“And I wanted to see Yorihime, but I changed my mind.”
“And you said he's a wizard?”
“I said that?”
“Yes you did.”
“Oh. So what about it?”
“Wizards aren't the moving one. Most of them are living in the same place for centuries, because it's convenienter for them.”
“More convenient.”
“Excuse me?”
“You don't say 'convenienter'. Say 'more convenient'.”
“Oh. All right.”
“Anyway, where can I find him?”
“Look in the closest dangerous place.”
“Less visitors.”
“Makes sense.”
“Sooo... Do you want to talk a bit?”
“... About what?”
“Anything. As you may have noticed, it's difficult to have a real conversation around here.”
You briefly remember that guy from earlier using a strange internet slang.
“Yes, I see what you mean.”
“So, I'm ready to talk about anything! Especially if it's complicated.”
You mentally sigh. This is going to be a long day.

“So I went to the bar, and I asked that guy 'hey buddy, wanna let me take your wife?' and then, he flips out, and start swearing!”
“Oh, my.”
“It was really funny and stuff, but suddenly, he grabs a bottle, and break it on the bar! So I start to be flipped out, and I think that maybe I overdid it!”
“So I grab a chair, and I throw it right in his face! I hear a loud 'crack', and when he falls on the ground, his face is a mess!”
“And what happens next?”
“I run away.”
“I'm not exactly proud of that one. I always though there was a difference between a friendly bar fight and crushing someone's head with a chair. If you have a fight with someone, and if you can fix it by paying him a beer once it's over, it's good. If the police is coming, it's bad.”
“I bet it was awesome!”
You silently look at the girl. She's always trying to act like an adult, but she's still a little girl. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell her that story. Bar aren't for kids, and even if she's mature, she's still, despite her wish and her behavior, a little girl. You mentally sigh again. You'll have to be careful to avoid spoiling her. She looks like a good girl so far, you don't want her to go fight into bars and stuff. Even if it's awesome.
“Probably. But what about you? Do you have any good story to tell?”
“Well, I can tell you about that time when I tried making tea with hot milk instead of using water like usual.”
“... I'm sorry.”

It's past afternoon when you finally take your leave.
Anijû is still a little girl, but her conversation is far more interesting than any other people you met so far. Probably because, unlike your usual conversational partner, she doesn't want something from you, and is just interested by your story. Since you're gone, she's most probably adding text to your entry in her encyclopedia.
So, what's the most dangerous place around here?

[] Forest are dangerous. They are full of leaves. Let's go there.
[] Are you kidding? Mountains are more dangerous! There are rocks! And other stuff, like birds!
[] Humans are the most dangerous game. He's in the village.

Was bored. Decided to write something funny. And draw something funny.
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> 谷歌翻譯吸球
> Google Translate sucks balls


[X] Humans are the most dangerous game. He's in the village.

He's hiding in the village of idiots.
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[X] Humans are the most dangerous game. He's in the village.

They really are.
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[X] Humans are the most dangerous game. He's in the village.


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[x] Humans are the most dangerous game. He's in the village.

Where's the most dangerous place? It's obviously the place filled with dangerous, unpredictable, wilds, aggressive, and stupids creatures. It's obviously that village, since there's no other place like that. Well, not any more. That aside, what's the best way to find someone hiding in a village where everyone is wearing a mask for some strange reason?

Go go the local City Hall and ask for information, of course. Or else, you can go to the local bar, but given your bad day, there will obviously be someone stupid enough to try to pick a fight with you.
So, to the City Hall. Well, if there's a city hall in that mess of a village.
“Hey, innocent bystander, who's the boss in your village?”
“That vvould be Herr Mayor.”
“Awesome. Where do I find that 'Mayor'?”
“Find a house wiff 'I'm the boß' vvritten on it.”
“Thank you for your assistance.”
Just hearing him talking is getting on your nerves. You're hating this place more and more, but you're especially hating the villagers. A bunch of illiterate retards not able to speak properly, you really wonder if they can write.

No possible mistake. There's that … hut? Cabin? Let's call it a thing. So, there's that thing, with “I am the boss” painted on it. Gee, you're not sure, but you think that there's a small chance that you might have encountered the Mayor's house. Or Boss' hut, whatever.
You open the door, and enter in the dirty building.
“Someone here.”
From the deepest part of the hut, comes one of the villager. You don't really understand why he's wearing a mask. It's probably to hide his face, and therefore his identity. But then, why paint “I am the boss” on his house? That doesn't make sense! Well, on another hand, you fell in love with a woman living on the moon. You can't really call him on that.
“I'm looking for someone, and I think he might be in the village.”
“Tell no more. Go away, and turn right. You'll see it.”
“Uh!? Well, thank you.”
Unsure about the whole thing, you turn your back to him, and leave the house, before turning to your right.

He was right. You can't really miss it. At first, it looks like a common house. Well, for you, that's not really a house, but rather a hut. But that's beside the point, so remember that you've been living in a mansion recently.
Thing is, that this house is decorated. Not really in the obvious way, not with flowers and stuff, but rather with some weird plate, placed just in front of the door. And, no, that's obviously not a doormat. You don't know what is it, but you're not going to step on it. Sounds too dangerous, especially if that guy is really a wizard. Avoiding the suspicious plate, you open the door, and enter in the hideout.
So there was this old movie, with Rusell Growe, called 'A beautiful mind'. In that movie, there's a creepy moment where the character's woman goes into his room, and discovers that he covered everything, from floor to ceiling, with little papers. Well, that's kinda the same thing here. The whole room, and possibly the whole house, is covered with papers. Getting close, you manage to identify them as a basic map of the local area, with several colored threads linking multiples places. You don't think you can understand that, as it was obviously never planned to be used by anyone else than the person making it.
But you're not here to observe some complicated map made by an obviously crazy person. You're here to seek help from the obviously crazy person.
“Hey? Are you there?”
No answer. You briefly wonder if you're in the right house. Or maybe there's more than one madman in the area right now? You really hope it's not the case.
“Is there someone here?”
“I'm here. You can stop screaming now.”
You heard a voice, coming from another room. Following it, you find him.
“Forgive me, but you look like shit.”
“What do you want?”
In front of you, is a pitiful shell. Sitting near a table, chin against the wood, is the Butler. And, quite frankly, he doesn't look good. You are a mess, your hair is long and untidy, you're growing a beard, and you're pretty sure that your face is still saying 'I'm deadly ill but I'm feeling better'. That guy, on another hand, doesn't move at all, and the corner of his mouth is constantly twitching.
“Taking some news. You disappeared from the mansion without any explanations, so I was kinda worried.”
“Spare me the nonsense, you owe me a dinner. Go to the point.”
You take a deep breath.
“Toyohime is coming, and I want to defeat her.”
He moves his head, just a little, and looks at you.
“She killed me.”
“You look fine.”
“I got better.”
“Care to share? I might use something like that?”
“It only works on dead people.”
He sighs.
“Oh, yeah. I heard about that. The newspaper said it.”
“And why are you interested?”
“Can't you see? I'm dying.”
“Me too. Let's start a club, and throw a 'I'm dying' party.”
“Back to the main topic, why do you want to defeat Lady Toyohime?”
“Beside the 'she killed me' thing?”
“Yeah, beside that.”
You think for a while, trying to find the best word.
“Because as long as she's here, Yorihime will reject me.”
There's a sparkle of interest in his eyes. Finally.
“Lady Yorihime? Rejecting you? But you're human...”
“And your point is?”
“Don't get mad, but Lady Yorihime is the head of the Watatsuki house.”
“The Watatsuki house is in charge of the security on the Moon.”
“Therefore, the Watatsuki house is very respected. Well, was very respected.”
Taking a chair for yourself, you angrily sit on front of the talkative former Butler.
“And your point is?”
“Lady Yorihime may be exiled, she's still respected and admired.”
“Stop that nonsense and go to the damn point.”
“She'll always reject you. You're just a human, while she was one of the most respected nobles on the Moon.”
“TZZZ too complicated. Use simpler words.”
“Oh. Ummm... She's out of your league, going after her is like running after the Moon.”
“Very interesting, really. That aside, I still want to punch her sister into oblivion. Are you going to help me or not?”
“Do I look like I can help? I can't move.”
“Big deal. Can't you use magic to levitate or something like that?”
“I did. And now I can't.”
“Ooooh, sounds like my field of expertise.”
There's a brief silence.
“Really? Tell me then.”
“Well, the first thing coming to mind would be arsenic. If I'm right, it attacks the nervous system, paralyzing the victim.”
“Make sense.”
“Mmm? You've been exposed to some nasty stuff recently?”
“Sorry, this is my own business. But how do I get rid of that?”
“What, the stupid attitude? A kick in the teeth might help.”
“I mean the arsenic thing.”
“Oh. Complicated. Come back to the Eientei, and I'll try something.”
“I don't like the 'try' part.”
“You prefer dying?”
“Can you move by yourself?”
“I can't, but I think I have a spell for that.”
“One more thing.”
“How do you know Toyohime? In fact, how do you even know Reisen?”
“I could ask you the same thing, you know? You just appeared out of nowhere, you fought against youkais with your bare hands, you bring dead people back to life, and apparently you know Yorihime.”
“'I had a very complicated life. Remember that part with Toyohime killing me?”
“That's just a part of it.”
“One day, you'll have to tell me everything.”
“You the same, butler.”
“One day, yeah. Whatever. I'll see you back at the Eientei.”
You leave him, as he seems to turn into some black fog. Being a wizard is really handy, since he doesn't have to walk all the way through.
You, on the other hand, have to. And you're not really enjoying the long walk under the sun.

When you're back to the Eientei, it's already afternoon.

[] You have everything. Now wait for the full moon.
[] There are still things to do.
-[] Go talk with Kaguya (Any hint about how I can gain a moon princess' heart, one more time?)
-[] Go talk with Eirin (Lunarian biology is awesome, isn't it? I wondered, if I wanted to poison, let's say, a moon princess, how much poison should I use?)
-[] Go talk with Yorihime (...)
-[] Go talk with Udonge (How's the life on the Moon?)
-[] Go talk with Butler (All right! How do we defeat a woman with enough weapons to level a continent?)

Feel free to suggest other topics if you don't like those one.
Choosing the "full moon" option will start the fight against Toyohime directly. Speaking with the Eientei cast might help you. Or not. But they won't kill you. Except if you ask Eirin to join Kaguya, Yorihime and you into a foursome. Or any other stupid thing like that. But I don't need to tell you that.
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[X] There are still things to do.
-[X] Go talk with Butler (All right! How do we defeat a woman with enough weapons to level a continent?)
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[X] There are still things to do.
-[X] Go talk with Butler (All right! How do we defeat a woman with enough weapons to level a continent?)

I would say that MC should try talking to Yorihime again, but I just don't know what to say.
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If you don't add anything, that means I'm the one deciding of what's going to be said.

Also, since I'm here, I want to apologize for not updating often, but I'm sick right now, and it'll take a while before I'm up again.
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[X] There are still things to do.
-[X] Go talk with Butler (All right! How do we defeat a woman with enough weapons to level a continent?)

First things first, then we can go talk about Yorihime problems.
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Friction About Ground Final Boss
[x] There are still things to do.
-[x] Go talk with Butler (All right! How do we defeat a woman with enough weapons to level a continent?)

So many things to do, and so little time. Bah. The most important thing is probably to decide on something with Butler. According to what he said earlier, he's probably already inside, waiting. And probably being fixed by Eirin, even if he was really unsure about that.
You cough. Urgh. Look like the 'I'm feeling good again' part is now behind you. The finishing line is near.
“God dammit.”
“There you are!” Ugh, Toyohime's pet saw you. You're screwed. “I simply can't let my eyes off you! Do you think you can escape like that? There's no way you can possibly...”
You briefly look around. Nobody. Quickly, you crouch, grab Reisen's leg, and PULL!!!
“Howdy ho, bunny!”
With a flat 'thud', she falls on the ground.
“Oh man, look at you! Look like you tripped on something! You should be more careful next time, you know?”
And you walk away while laughing in the most annoying and irritating way. Why? Because it's fun.
“Hold it right there!”
A hand grabs your own leg, and it's your turn to fall. Before you can understand what happened, Reisen is already sitting on you, effectively blocking you.
“Don't you think it's time for negotiations, now, Doctor?”
You raise your hand.
“Fine, negotiations then, bunny.”
“All right. I would be most pleased if you made my work easier by staying in the Eientei area.”
“Your work?”
“Are you fine with staying in the area?”
Well, it's not like you have anyone else to visit now, so...
“Agh, fine. But in exchange, I would like you to help me.”
“Help you doing what?”
“I dunno. I'll ask later.”
The weight on your back disappears, and you jump to your feet immediately. But the rabbit is nowhere to be seen.
“Did that bunny took a level in ninja training or something while I was away?”

Naah, impossible.

“Oh yeah!”
You kick the door open. It doesn't matter HOW, since it's a sliding door, but you managed to open it with a kick. While screaming 'oh, yeah'. You're awesome, especially when you know you're going to die.
“What the hell?!?”
Of course, Butler wasn't expecting you, and he jumped when you opened the door.
“Surprise! It's strategy time!”
You enter triumphantly in the room, only to see Butler turning into ashes again. Then, the ash cloud moves to the door, shut it, and moves back to its original position, before turning into him again.
“That's a handy trick. Can you teach me how to use it?”
“No. Listen, I managed to convince Reisen that I don't need Master Yagokoro's help. The last thing I want is attracting the Master's attention.”
“Riveting tale.”

“All right. We have the data, we have the paper, we have the pen.”
“So, the question is: how can we defeat Toyohime? She'll probably be using a fan able to level the whole area, that means one-hit kill for us.”
Butler nicely objects to your declaration.
“I wouldn't be worrying about that, if I were you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You see, Lady Toyohime is probably the only person in charge of the Lunar Defense Corps right now.”
“Lunarian things and me, you know...”
He sighs.
“I'll try to keep it short. The Lunar Defense Corps is the former Lunar Army. In fact, it's barely lunarian, since almost all the group is composed of moon rabbits.”
“Like Reisen?”
“Exactly. However, after Lady Yorihime's exile, I was temporary in charge of the 'action' part, while Lady Toyohime was in charge of the intelligence.”
“So you're a lunarian too?”
“Complicated, I'll tell you all about me later. But the problem is, that currently, Lady Toyohime is in charge of the whole army.”
“Fascinating. Should I keep watching that spider on the ceiling, or you plan to tell me anything that might interest me?”
“Argh. Lady Toyohime won't come alone. She'll bring an army with her.”
“Oh snap.”
There's a beat.
“I see you're understanding.”
“I'm switching the topic to 'how do we defeat a woman with enough weapons to level a continent, and supported by an army'.”
Butler stops writing, and starts pinching his nose.
“All right, we need a better plan.”
“You had a plan before?”
“Of course I did!”
“Go on, make my day. What was your plan?”
“Punching her in the face until she's knocked out.”
He pinches his nose really hard.
“And the worse thing is that it's not the worst plan.”
“Mmm? You said something?”
“Yeah, I want to say something. Let's suppose that we manage to get rid of the entire moon army.”
“I like that supposition.”
“There's still Lady Toyohime.”
“She's not that difficult, once her fan is down.”
“Well, you're right. Lady Toyohime isn't really athletic. If she really have to fight, she'll most probably avoid direct combat, and try to take you down from a good distance.”
“So I can really punch her to oblivion?”
“Is your plan to punch everyone?”
Actually, your plan is to poison Toyohime with some paralyzing poison, before beating her to a pulp. But you're not really trusting that guy. He was already shady before, but now that you know he's lunarian, you don't trust him at all. So you'll keep a few aces in your sleeves, just in case he tries to be smart.
“Okay. Listen to me, I'm going to explain what we're going to do.”
“Does it involves punching things?”
“For you, yes. Not for me.”
“Good! Go ahead then!”
“Okay. So, first point: Lady Toyohime's operation here is totally illegal. If interrogated about it, she'll argue that the goal was to capture several fugitives. If she can capture or kill any of us here, she will be able to prove that her operation here was legal.”
“Hold on, that's illegal for moon folks to come here?”
“In theory, yes. In fact, the Lunar Defense's HQ is isolated from the rest of the moon, so we're free to act as we want, to a certain degree. Lady Toyohime can certainly come here if she wants to, but it will be regarded as a desertion, since the Moon is actually at war.”
“A war? Against who?”
“I'll explain that later. But thing, that Lady Toyohime will abandon the Moon, the highest priority, to try and capture a few fugitives. That's a few inches away from treason, and I'm certain it can be considered as desertion.”
“If there's really a war going on on the Moon, then Toyohime cannot bring her army down here.”
“She can't. But she will anyway. Lady Toyohime isn't the brightest strategist around, but she's very determined to get you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Reisen told me.”
“Seems legit.”
“Anyway, that will be our first goal. Don't let anyone from the Eientei be killed or captured by Lady Toyohime. If she goes back to the Moon empty-handed, that will be considered as desertion, and things will turn nasty for her.”
“Well, that's easy for you to say! You can turn into ash. What about the 50% of our group that can't do that awesome stuff?”
Ignoring your interruption, Butler keeps talking.
“As the former Commander of the Lunar Defense Corps, I can probably get rid of them, by ordering them to guard the Moon. Since the whole operation is illegal, I can convince them to retreat.”
“I don't like the 'probably' in your sentence.”
“Well, I'm considered as dead by the Moon, so there's a chance they might not believe me.”
“Ugh. So, you get rid of the bunnies. And after that?”
“After that, we engage hostilities with Lady Toyohime.”
Such fancy language. Did that guy ate 'the art of war' or what?
“Aaaha, now that's my favorite part.”
“I guess you're going to attack her in close-combat, or even hand-to-hand?”
“You bet I will! Well, I don't have any weapon to attack her anyway. I had a revolver, but I lost it in a fight against a zombie a few days ago.”
“I can probably create something?”
“I doubt it. Firearms are complicated and-”
“I'm a wizard. Magic is way more complicated than firearms, believe me.”
“Okay. So the plan is complete.”
“What?!? But we only-”
“We have a plan to deal with the bunnies, we have a plan to deal with Toyohime, we don't need anything else.”
“What about plan B? What about recce? What about getting help from-”
“Oh, wonderful, I'll try that! 'Hello Eirin, I killed your grandnephew or something like that, and now I want to punch your other grandnephew's son's wife until her face is a bloody mess, can you help me with that?'
“... That's not exactly what I had in mind. But what about Lady Yorihime, then?”
“OOOH, WONDERFUL! 'Hello Yorihime! I know you hate me because I left you after promising you everything I had, I know you had to exile from the moon, I know your own sister hates you for sleeping with me, but now I need your help because I'm going to punch your sister in the face!' Yeah, what can possibly go wrong with that? IDIOT!”
But Butler doesn't answer. He's too busy staring at you with wide eyes.
“You... did what with Lady Yorihime?”
You groan in frustration.
“You know what? Forget it! We'll just follow your plan, if it works, huzzah, if it's doesn't, damn!”
You stand, and walk away.
But as you slide the door, you turn your face to the former butler, and ask one last thing.
“Hieda said your name was Blaidd. Is that true?”
You leave, and close the door behind you. That guy sounded really intelligent while he was anticipating Toyohime's actions, but he also sounds like a socially awkward nerd. And he was leading the Lunar Defense Corps, hu? You bet he was probably a 'I'm in a safe place' kind of commander, leading the whole mess from a safe bunker.
Still, it's not like you can hate him. He's useful, and he sounds honest. Even if you want to punch him in the face. But you want to punch everything in the face recently. Must be the sun getting to you or something like that.

[] Wait for the full moon.
[] Go bug Reisen.
[] Go annoy Udonge.
[] Go bore the Princess.
[] Go needle Eirin.
[] Go talk with Yorihime.

1) Write an update.
2) Proofread it.
3) Attemps to post it.
4) Memory error.
5) Rage & retry.

15) Manage to update the story.
16) Notice a mistake making a whole sentence impossible to understand.
17) Swear vigourously.
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[X] Go talk with Yorihime.

Fix the relationship or Yorihime will murder the MC when he kills Toyohime
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[X] Go talk with Yorihime.
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[] Go needle Eirin.
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I wanted to post an Yorihime picture on /blue/, but:
>Warning: imagecreatefromjpeg() [function.imagecreatefromjpeg]: '/srv/thp/blue/src/132904629478.jpg' is not a valid JPEG file in /srv/thp/inc/func/posts.php on line 82

>Fatal error: Out of memory (allocated 524288) (tried to allocate 311296 bytes) in /srv/thp/board.php on line 360
I think THP doesn't want me to post here.

>Send me to http://www.touhou-project.com/board.php, aka a blank page
All of the threes, one after another. I simply can't post. Or if I can, I don't have any confirmation.
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[x] Go talk with Yorihime.

You have things to fix, before doing anything else. Important things.

You knock at the door.
You take a deep breath, and you enter in the room. And there she is, sitting on a cushion, motionless.
“Hi there.”
Okay, that's not looking good here. Don't lose your calm, and do as she says.
“I want to talk.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
Where to start? That's the question.
“Well... Nice to see you again.”
“Nice to see you too. Even if I wasn't expecting it.”
“Mmm? And why?”
“Because you disappeared two centuries ago.”
“Yeah, about that-”
“I have no desire to hear your excuses, like I have no desires to know what happened to you, Moriarty.”
That's not going well. Not at all.
“Listen, it's not-”
“As I said, I have no desires to hear your excuses.” While talking, she stands, and walks to the terrace. Then, she opens the door. Standing in the sudden sunlight, Yorihime is as beautiful as ever. But she's still turning her back to you as she speaks. “I'm not talking nonsense, and I think what I say. When I promise something, I'll walk through Hell and Earth to fulfill my promise. What do you say?”
That's the problem. You promised that you would never leave her, and yet you died the day after.
“I know I broke my promise. But-”
“No but. I had responsibilities. People died because I failed to fulfill them. And I failed because...”
She chokes before being able to finish her sentence. You want to say 'because you were alone', and that's the truth. But truth hurts.
“You failed because I failed.”
You're not lying.
“Is there anything else you want to say?”
You stare at Yorohime's back, still basking in the sun. She's beautiful.
“Yes, I have something else to say.”
“What is it?”
“I love you.”
“I won't leave you again.”
She moves. Quickly turning on herself, she jumps back inside the room, stopping herself just before touching you, her face almost touching yours.
“Look at you. You are nothing but a human. A mortal human, tainted by sin and ignorance. How can you say that you love me? How can you be sure that you're not just lusting for me?”
“Because I went through Hell, and I walked alone for many years. I had no idea what to do, no weapon, no special power. I only had my clothes, and my intelligence. And I did it for you.” You stare at the moon princess. “And I'll do it again, for you.”
After a while, the moon princess smiles, and go back to her seat, obviously reassured.
“Good. Now tell me, what's your plan?”
“Toyohime is coming soon.”
“I have a bone to pick with your sister.”
“Explain me that, that sounds interesting.”
You're a bit surprised by that sudden interest.
“Aren't you going to ask me where I was during those two centuries?”
She looks at you and smiles again, in a very charming way.
“I trust you. You're still the strong-willed earth man I met two centuries ago. I know you're not going to lie if I ask, but I also know that you didn't choose to disappear.”
“I... Thanks for your trust. But thing is, I got killed by your sister.”
“And you're still back on your feet. That's a pretty interesting story. Tell me everything.”
And you told her everything. Where you woke up, how you survived while following some kind of wild idea, how you reached the underground, and met civilization again. How you escaped from the underground, how you met Udonge, and how you came back from the grave. You told her everything.
“And that's how I got here.”
“Interesting tale so far. Well, I guess it's my turn then?”
“You probably managed better than me.”

“And it was in the old Kyoto city that I found Lady Yagokoro.”
“Don't sound annoyed.”
“That's easy to say. You can summon gods.”
“I do not think you understand the whole summoning procedure. It's not as easy as you think.”
“Probably. I guess that's what we gain by being specialized. I cannot summon gods, but I'm ready to bet that you cannot defeat something without touching it.”
“If that's a challenge, I'll accept it.”
“I-I was just joking! I'm going to fight Toyohime in a few days, and that's quite enough.”
Yorihime's amused stare suddenly goes serious.
“About that part, I do not think I clearly understand your plan.”
“Well, the plan is simple. It's just taking revenge on Toyohime.”
“I understand the part about you wanting to defeat my sister, even if I do not approve it. But I question your approach.”
“What do you mean?”
“Despite your will, you are still human. There's no way you can defeat Toyohime.”
“I already killed a lunarian lord once.”
You try to omit the part about you having a shotgun, and the part about him completely underestimating you. And you're not going the mention that one that got away after poisoning you.
“I... do not want you to fight my sister.”
You take a deep breath.
“She'll kill me for sure if she gets me.”
“Undoubtedly. But I do not wish to be forced into choosing between my sister and you.”
That's unusually sweet from her.
“I'm really sorry. But I'm just human, and I'll always be considered as a human. I won't have a trial if she gets me.”
Yorihime sighs.
“I cannot convince you otherwise, and I cannot wish you good luck, for it would be betraying my sister. The only thing I can wish you...” She moves again in front of you, almost kissing you. “... is courage. Courage is universal. If you have to kill or be killed, be brave.”
And with that, she leaves you. Alone.

“I love that woman. When everything will be over, I'll take her on a date!”
A fan hits the back of your head.
“Hey, what the hell?!”
It's Kaguya. She just hits you with her goddamn fan!
“That's for me to say, you idiot! Yorihime is a sweet girl, she just wants to be with someone, and instead of comforting her, you're saying that you're going to kill her sister, HOW DUMB ARE YOU, YOU IDIOT?!”
And she hits you again.
“What was I supposed to say? 'I'm not going to lie to you' and then 'by the way, I'm going to kill your sister'? Was I supposed to say that? And what are you even doing here?!? Were you snooping around?”
“I was making sure you wouldn't screw things up like you usually do, Moriarty! And sadly, I'm always right when I expect the worst from you!”
“Listen to the romance expert! Sorry I can't come up with good lines! Because usually, people in that situation always find the perfect thing to say!”
“Screw you!”
Leaving Kaguya alone in Yorihime's room, you quickly walk away.
Did you really screwed up? You don't think so. Things could've gone better, yeah, but after all, you're still a human, doomed to an imminent death, and she's still an immortal moon princess. Well, not exactly immortal, but almost. Even if you can kill Toyohime, you're still condemned. Blame that moon dust poisoning, that thing is killing you.
Thing is, unless killing Toyohime magically heals you, you're still going to die. Blaidd too, but you can't be worried about too many people. Beside, Blaidd isn't poisoned like you. It's something else.

The more you think about this, the more you think you made a huge mistake. You're going to die anyway, either from Toyohime's hands, either from that sickness eating you from the inside. So why did you went after Yorihime? Since you're going to die anyway? At least, before, she wasn't really giving a damn about you. And now that you managed to pick her interest, and her trust again, you remember the part about you dying. Great job, Sherlock.
You walk out the building, and look at the sun.

Poisons, hu? Poisons are your specialty. Your hobby. Your thing. That lunar dust thing is a poisoning, so it can be fixed. You just need equipments.
But Eirin is monopolizing everything! You can't even borrow a microscope without her walking in your room, taking it from you, and walking away.
“God dammit Eirin.”
Well, no choice. You'll have to work in Eirin's laboratory.
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Also, here are your votes options:

[] Meanwhile, on the Moon.
[] Meanwhile, [LOCATION OMITTED].
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[X] Meanwhile, at the Hall of Evil.
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[s][X] Meanwhile in Sweden[s]

Just kidding, here's the real vote
[X] Meanwhile, on the Moon.
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File 132917247520.jpg - (42.46KB, 320x240, HAHA.jpg)
Meanwhile, at the Hall of Evil, Evil Superman was trying to finish a little game that Evil Aquaman gave him. Evil Aquaman's apparent goal was to calm Evil Superman's by keeping his evil mind busy, but Evil Superman's frustration level was going up, being forced to face vague and vague of nice enemies and playful fairies.
Shrieked Evil Superman, not noticing his Evil Saliva slowly dissolving the floor.
His hate must pushing him, shoving him into the game. His hate for this innocent and nice game, where all enemies were nice, and were nobody was hurt, was extreme.
Screaming again, Evil Superman, in a burst of rage, Alt+F4'd the game, staring angrily at the shortcup on Evil Vista's desktop.
Using his Evil Laser Eyes, he quickly wiped the offending game out of reality. But sadly, the excessive temperature caused Evil Vista to crash.
Screaming again, Evil Superman decided that everything was Evil Aquaman's fault, and that Evil Aquaman must pay for his good deed.

"Ha fuck."
"Can't it wait? I'm busy watching My Evil Poney, so-"
He couldn't finish his sentence, for an angry Evil Superman vaporized him, turning him into...

Meanwhile, the Not-So-Evil Doctor Moriarty was taking a cold shower to calm his libido. Being in the same room than Yorihime for too long frustrated him, and he needed to be calm. Even after several years without a woman, he doesn't want to rush things.

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"HA HA HA! I am going to post a stupid update, just to make fun of >>8580! Mouahaha, I'm so evil, I could almost fall in love with myself, mouahaha!!"
With thunders in the background, the french writefag bring wine to his lips, while laughing in a stereotypical way.
Indeed, the french writefag was really evil. Too evil to write a good update, and too evil to gently say "Oy, I don't want that, change your votes kthxbye".
Instead of that, his evil side ASSUMED DIRECT CONTROL, and forced him into writing nonsensical things. But the most horrible thing was, that HE DIDN'T PROOFREAD THEM BEFORE UPLOADING THEM!
Such an evil behaviour was indeed terrifying. Anyone's sanity would be shattered by such an evil deed.

And that's totally not a pathetic excuse for my lack of proofreading.
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[X]Meanwhile, at the Human Soul Resistance Base in Hell, things are going badly for the Demons.
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> I have no idea what you mean. Is not it sad? However, I'm just going to ignore the vote, and continue the story as planned.
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Okay, since it appears that someone here enjoys translating those weirds sentences I like to put everywhere, I'm uploading something that might interest you.

Have fun with that, that'll keep you busy for a while.

And if you manage to translate it, don't sweat it, mkay?
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Meanwhile, on the Moon, Watatsuki no Toyohime was preparing herself. After all, personal vendetta aside, the Moon was still at war against Bishamonten's army, and now that the Commander was missing, it was up to Toyohime to lead the Lunar Defense Corps, as Lord Tsukuyomi ordered.

Or so she thought. In fact, she was still spending most of her time in the Intelligence HQ, trying to anticipate Bishamonten's moves. Backed by her own pride, she decided that outsmarting the War God would be the best way to break the youkai army, demoralizing them. But sadly, and she was becoming aware of this fact, her tactical talent was quite pathetic.
On the Moon, nothing changes. People grow old very slowly, and technology evolves very slowly, so one could say that the Moon was eternal. The truth is that lunarians are unable to come up with something new. For example, when Lord Ginnosuki was send to the Earth to investigate on Yorihime's whereabouts, he was attacked by Moriarty.
Toyohime hand's start shaking in anger when she remembers how badly Lord Ginnosuki was defeated. And why, would you ask? Simply because he never met an opponent like Moriarty. And yet, she warned him before. 'On Earth, you might encounter that human. If you find him, don't go easy on him, and kill him'. But Ginnosuki was a priest, and he was also very arrogant.
He blatantly ignored her advice, and followed his own idea, fighting the human like he would fight an animal. And he was promptly crushed and utterly defeated. Learning from the moon rabbits about Moriarty's slow death was giving her some happiness, but Ginnosuki's stupidity and arrogance was still impressive, in a bad way.

Moving her fan, Toyohime tries to calm herself. After all, Lord Ginnosuki cannot really be blamed for his mistake. The Lunar Defense Corps is the main line of defense between the invaders and the Moon, it makes sense for a civilian like him to underestimate a human, even considering them as cattle.
Toyohime almost smiles as she remembers the priest's face when he used his own powers to get back to the Moon. With mud all over his person, poison running through his blood, and his face looking like he saw Bishamonten himself.

But it was past now. Lord Ginnosuki blamed Toyohime for his defeat, and the Ginnosuki house became distant toward the Watatsuki house. Basically, it means that the Watatsuki house -Toyohime's house- has no allies any more. And all of that because of that human!
Lowering her gaze, Toyohime notices that her hands are still shaking. Everything was fine before. The Watatsuki house was respected, as defender of the Moon. And it was relatively simple too, save for that gap youkai. The only problem was that Yorihime's husband was arrogant and brutal, but thanks to her work, she could avoid him most of the time.
And everything changed when that human arrived. Instead of being brutal and ignorant, he tried to outsmart them, and doomed himself to dying on the Moon instead of escaping back to Earth. For Toyohime, it was stupidity. But Yorihime considered that as noble, and became curious. And then, the impossible arrived. Yorihime's husband challenged the human, and was killed.

Toyohime's gaze moves to the weapons rack. Firearms. Projectiles weapons. They are so unrefined, that only moon rabbits are using them. Even the Watatsuki house doesn't own any of them, relying instead on personal skills, or more refined weapons.
Like that fan. A very powerful tool. Only rabbits and monkeys are using firearms. If that human was a lunarian noble, everything would be different. He would be using a cold steel weapon instead, and he would be promptly killed by Yorihime's husband instead. And everything would be perfect.

But instead of that, the human killed the lunarian noble, in a totally cowardly way. Toyohime was horrified by a murder in the Palace, but Yorihime wasn't. She was... grateful.
Grateful for having an invader spilling her husband's blood on the pure Moon. It was a real shame for the Watatsuki house. An inferior being assassinating a noble, and receiving the widow's blessing.
It's that day that Toyohime's dislike of that human turned into pure hate. She waited, waited long enough for him to make a mistake, collecting evidences. She investigated the primitive means of transport he used to reach the Moon. She found weird products, and used Master Yagokoro's notes to understand them. But it took her time, and he took advantage of it, earning Yorihime's heart.
Toyohime looks at her hands again. They're shaking. A lot.
An inferior being, a human, an invader, a monkey, who corrupted her sister. She had no choice. The Watatsuki house's honor was at stake.

First, she killed the human. That 'Moriarty'. With just a swing of her fan, she flayed him alive, and turned him into dust, before completely disintegrating him.
Second, she destroyed her sister's heart. She told her he left. The look on her sister's face was painful to see, but she helped a murderer, and she had to pay. She was as guilty as she stabbed her husband on the chest with that sword of her. And after that, she exposed her sister's shameful behavior to Lord Tsukuyomi. But Yorihime exiled herself instead of waiting His decision.

Toyohime brings a hand to her forehead. She's not sweating, but there's undoubtedly something wrong with her. She feels... remorse? She shouldn't be. She only did her duty, for the Moon, for the Watatsuki house, and for her ancestors. And also for the genius who turned the two hyperactive girls into the lunarians ladies.
But, still, she sent her little sister to a certain death. And she also used her Master's notes to create an abomination able to lead the rabbits after Yorihime's disappearance. She did many things, but she only feels remorse for one of them. Lying to Yorihime was too much. She was a accomplice to a murderer, a betrayer to the Moon, and she had an indecent behavior with a human, but she was still Toyohime's little sister. She was still family. She's something Toyohime will never be able to replace.

Watatsuki no Toyohime is a monster, ready to wipe a whole country to make sure the Moon won't be attacked. The only thing keeping her from wiping Bishamonten's army from existence is her ignorance of their hideout. If she were to learn it, she would gladly walk there alone, and swing her fan again and again, killing warriors, females and kids alike until there's nothing remaining but sand and dust.
And right now, that monster is hiding her face with her fan, trying to deny the fact that she's feeling remorse for the lesser anathema she made in her entire life; lying to her sister.
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So...Toyohime lied to her sister about killing him, and said that he'd abandoned her. And Moriarty just explained what happened to Yorihime.

I'm amazed she took it all as well as she did. Still, I'd imagine that if there is a sister reunion there are going to be WORDS.
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The Pandorica opens
You raise the microscope over your head, and you throw it on the floor, before stomping it several time.
“Damn you!”
Kicking the microscope remains across the room, you leave the room, walking to the terrace, and you stare at the afternoon sky.

This is your last day. Tonight, it's the full moon, and you're probably going to die during the night. And even if you manage to defeat Toyohime, your research taught you that you're still doomed. That thing, that lunar dust, is killing you. Eirin's medicines slowed that thing, but you're not saved. And considering what you discovered, you can't heal yourself.
It acts like a cancer, targeting the lungs, and causing ulcers. In short, your lungs are slowly filling with blood. You cough to expel it, but the ulcers are growing in numbers and size. Very soon, you'll drown in your own blood, and you can't do anything about. The worst thing is that it's probably not that complicated to heal, but you only received a very basic formation about medicine. You know more about poisons. And you can't use a poison to heal yourself.
Well, you probably can, by creating a very specialized virus targeting only the foreigners cells, but you'll need a sample, and you don't trust anyone here to stab a syringe in your lungs. And therefore, you're furious about that.

You try to calm down by putting things into perspective.
Sure, this cancer is more or less acting like ulcers, but at least, it's not as painful as a real ulcer would be. So you still have a chance to-
“Who am I kidding?”
That's not the real thing annoying you. This is merely an excuse, a pretext. Your current evaluation of the situation is just as grim as any info news channel. You don't have any hope. You're really going to die, so it doesn't really matter if Toyohime kills you or if you kill her.

You blankly stares at the sky again. Yorihime comes to mind.
“I can't give up.”
You need to be brave. Don't give up. You should probably prepare yourself, it will help you relax.
Walking toward the storehouse, you mentally prepare a list of everything you'll need. A hat, because it looks cool, a stethoscope just in case, several syringes, and probably some vials. You're really fond of poison gas, but you'll have an ally near, you can't risk collateral damage. Oh, and take your walking stick, just in case. That might come in handy.
Being ready, you look at the sky again. The sun is setting. The moon will rise very soon. Time to get serious, and find Blaidd.

“Hey guy, how are you? Ready for the final day of the rest of your life?”
Oops, look like you made yourself a fool. He's not alone.
“Well, that being said, I shall take my leave. Think about what we talked, and take care.”
The blue-haired woman disappears into nothing, while you're blankly staring at the weird show in front of you. Blaidd/Butler/Whatever his name is, is staring at you, while you're staring at the disintegrating blue-haired woman.
“The hell you're doing here, Doctor?”
For some reason, the sudden scorn in his voice pisses you off.
“The same thing we do every night, simpleton. Trying to take over the world.”
“Hey, don't call me-”
“By the way, who was that woman?”
“Aah, ugh, well, she was, uh, kind, of something, like, mm, a celestial?”
Wow. You're really convinced now. What an amazing performance.
“Let's just say it's that. So, you talked about what?”
“UH?!? Ha, umm... Magic! Yeah, we were talking about magic!”
You know what? Let's just drop that topic. He's not going to tell you anything, and frankly, you don't really care. Besides, you're pretty sure it's not that important.
“Good. So, you ready?”
“I'm always ready.”
And with that, you quickly leave the mansion, sneaking away. Of course, nobody is dumb enough to believe that you're going to sleep quietly, but at least,they're not getting in your way. After all, whoever win, Yorihime loses, so she can't go with or again any side. Eirin does not really care, and Kaguya is... probably on your side, but she won't interfere either.
Of course, you don't really care either for what happens to Eirin or Kaguya is Toyohime reaches the mansion. You're only interested in your revenge.
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Don't be fooled
“Is it here?”
“This is most probably the place.”
“I don't like the 'probably' in your sentence.”
“I don't like your face.”
“I don't like the fact that we're probably going to die.”
“I don't like your pessimism, Doctor. Weren't you a soldier before?”
“Whoever told you that lied. I only had a very basic firearms training.”
“Oh, I see.”
“And what about yourself? Are you good with any weapons?”
“No. I was trained as a tactician, the only other thing I'm good with is magic.”
“And women, apparently.”
“What do you mean?”
“The maid, from that mansion near the lake. She was very protective.”
“Oh, that's... totally unrelated, so don't bring that.”
“Ha ha hahahaha.”
“She's coming.”
You shut your mouth, and you look.
In the deepest part of the bamboo, where you can barely see your own nose, something is opening. It looks like a huge crack.
“What do we do?”
“Stay where you are, don't move. If Lady Toyohime really came with the whole rabbits army, I'll be able to send them back, but they'll shoot you down at the slightest provocation.”
Standing still, you stare at the white crack. It's getting wider and wider, and you can see many rays of light quickly moving.
With your stethoscope around your neck, leaning against your walking stick, your pockets full of poisons, you wait for the crack to be completely opened. Strangely enough, you're not worried. In fact, you're calm and serene. You know that you prepared yourself, and that there's nothing else to do but wait.

Finally, the projectors catch you, and all focus on the both of you, blinding you. You can distinctly see a silhouette moving toward you. And it's not a bunny, it doesn't have those ridiculous ears.
“Doctor James Moriarty, you are under arrest.”
Oh boy, you know that voice.
“Really, Toyohime? And what for?”
“Treason against the moon, conspiracy against the Watatsuki house, and many other little things, and I don't plan to bother myself reading all the list. Are you going to surrender?”
You look at the black silhouette, drown in a light sea. You can't see her face, and her voice is totally blank, but you're fairly certain that she's smiling.
“Surrendering to you? Don't make me laugh.”
“Are you resisting the arrest? You'll pay with your blood.”
This time, it's Blaidd who cuts her.
“I don't think so. According to the law, you cannot use the Lunar Defense Corps for your own goal. You're violating the law.”
Toyohime quickly turns, but her face remains unreadable.
“Oh, would you look at that. The abomination is here.”
“Exactly!” Blaidd's voice is dripping with hate as he answers to Toyohime's provocation.
Toyohime doesn't answer. Instead of that, she rises her hand. Several other silhouette move, instantly surrounding you. You hear the distinct sound of a weapon being armed.
“Okay, mind reminding me your plan, Blaidd?”
“First step of the plan was to not let anyone know we have one.”
“Aaah, so that's the part I forgot.”
Something hard hits you in the nuts. You kneels, moaning in pain.
“Rabbits, bring the former Commander back to the Palace. The civilian will stay here.”
“I don't think so. Protocol 17 must be applied immediately.”
“Protocol 17!?”
There's suddenly a very loud commotion, as it seems that everyone is evacuating the area as fast as they can.

When you're back to your feet, all the rabbits are gone, and the projectors previously blinding are in total disarray, lighting the whole area, and allowing to see what's going on.
In the middle of the forest, there's a huge crack in reality. You just have to walk, and you're back on the moon. On your side, it's a bamboo forest, and on the other side, it's the moon. How weird. You're not going to wonder how that thing is working, it already hurts your head just by being here. Instead of that, you have a really important question for Blaidd.
“What the hell is protocol 17?”
Still engaged in a stare contest with Toyohime, he answers while clenching his teeth.
“Retreat to the HQ. All plans are on hold, all missions aborted. I created that protocol in case of a youkai infiltration in the Watatsuki Palace.”
“Pretty handy, We got rid of them all.”
“That was stupid. Nobody is going to protect you from me.”
“Don't be grim, stepsister.”
Breaking the stare contest with Blaidd, Toyohime quickly turns on herself, waving her closed fan.
Instinctively, you try to parry with your walking stick, but there's nothing to parry. There's just... something moving, and then your walking stick upper half falls on the ground. Luckily, her fan was closed. If it was open, you would already be dead, unless you misunderstood it.
“Ha shit, forgot you had that crap. That's not making things fair.”
“I am not challenging you, earthling. I am arresting you.”
She raises her fan over her head. You start to run.

You hide the bamboo tree, and you ask again.
“How do we deal with that?”
There's a loud 'wooosh', and the bamboo grove next to you suddenly turns into dust.
“I don't think you can, Moriarty. I'll have to deal with it myself. Until it's fixed, stay out of the way.”
“Oh yeah, how do you plan to 'deal with' something able to wipe you instantly?”
“I'm a wizard, remember?”
“If you say so, have fun!”
You quickly retreat before Toyohime decides to go full power. You don't need to go far, you just need to be out of the range.
Well, it's not like you can really out-range that thing. You don't know the details, but you know it's Toyohime's favorite weapon for a very good reason. And you don't want to find out what that reason is. You just want to be out of the way until you have a chance to shine. And by shine, you mean 'getting close enough to bludgeon her with the remains of the walking stick, and then inject every poison to have to her shaking body until she dies for good'.
You already killed many people, you can kill just one more.

Lying on the ground, you observe the battle going on. In the black corner, hiding in the darkness, is the mysterious lunarian wizard with a welsh name. In the white corner, is the moon princess using a fan able to turn everything into dust.
“Blaidd... I'm not saying 'farewell', because it'll jinx you.”
Because you think it very loudly because you're sure he's going to die.

And actually, that battle is quite fun to watch. Toyohime keeps waving her fan, trying to get rid of Blaidd, not noticing she's devastating the area, and Blaidd keeps turning into ashes, quickly circling around her in a spiral motion.
Until he finally reaches the spiral's center, aka Toyohime herself. He turns back into himself right over her, and falls on her head. That's your chance.

Jumping from your hideout, you run to the middle of the battle field, you jump with the feet together, landing right on Toyohime's fan. You hear a breaking noise. But before you can move to attack Toyohime, the broken fan under your feet explodes, throwing you against the ground.
Jumping back to your feet, you're paralyzed by the strange scene taking place in front of you.
Toyohime is standing, right like a post, her foot pressing on Blaidd's chest. She dropped her fan, and equipped some kind of round black staff. Never giving you any attention, she's speaking to Blaidd.
“Rebelling against me will lead you nowhere. Surrender and be killed.”
Blaidd doesn't answer. He just nods 'no'.
“All right then. Then stare at the Moon, and do as I said.”
Releasing her pressure on Blaidd, she turns her face toward you.
“Now, you. I'll add 'destroyed a precious artifact' to the long list of your crimes.”
You laugh.
“Hahaha, oh you! You're silly, you know? According to Eirin, I probably have, like, two week before dying. I'm pretty sure she's lying, because she hates me or something, but just in case, I'll actually have to kill you. You see, I came up with my own plan. A four part plan! And now, you die!”

You are now fighting against WATATSUKI TOYOHIME.
She is a lunarian.
She is the current leader of the Lunar Defense Corps.
Physically, you have the upper hand, even in your current state. But she's using several weapons and tools to gain an advantage, you have to be careful.

[] Physical attack. Just punch her in the face.
[] Try to inject her:
-[] A paralyzing poison. That won't last long, but it'll be enough to gain a major advantage.
-[] A deadly poison. Kill her.
[] Defend. You don't know how that weapon of her works. Until you figured it out, avoid any contact with it.
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[X] Try to inject her:
-[X] A paralyzing poison. That won't last long, but it'll be enough to gain a major advantage.

As much as a deadly poison would be nice, it would be better to be able to deal with her safely (disarm etc) rather than die to an all-out, nothing-left-to-lose counter-attack if the deadly poison doesn't work straight away. This is assuming that the paralysiation is quite fast-acting, and the lethal isn't. Any chance we can have a bit more info on what the poisons are before next update?

And as for punching to the face, while it is in-character, last time we actually beat a Lunarian Lord was with a shotgun in a swordfight. Then again, the shock could cause her to drop the weapon, which would be nice. Defending gives her a chance to use whatever it is, which is probably a bad idea.

Hope someone else comes up with a better vote, cause I'm not all that confident with mine.
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[X] Physical attack. Just punch her in the face.
[X] Try to inject her:
-[X] A paralyzing poison. That won't last long, but it'll be enough to gain a major advantage.
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[x] Physical attack. Just punch her in the face.
[x] Try to inject her:
-[x] A paralyzing poison. That won't last long, but it'll be enough to gain a major advantage.

“Part one! Punching you in the face!”
Still smiling smugly, you bury your fist in her face. Or at least, you're trying to. Unfortunately, in your incredibly offensive and bold action, you underestimated her weapon. You only notice its power when she's pressing it against your chest.

There's a blue flash, followed by darkness. When you open your eyes again, you're seeing a very long tunnel, finished by a light. Luckily, you understand it's just the moon. You're just laying on your back.
“The hell?”
Standing with difficulty, you see Toyohime not too far from here. The thing annoying you is the fact that Toyohime is probably, like, 20 meters away. And you don't remember walking before laying on your back.
“Hey, Toyohime! What the hell did you do?”
“Tch, you're still alive? I'm having enough of you.”
Brandishing her electric staff thingy like if it was a dagger, the moon princess starts walking again.
“Okay, that doesn't look that good here, hmm...”
What do you have? A half-walking stick lost somewhere, a stethoscope, and possibly enough poison to incapacitate a whole ranch. Time to use your brain!

Grabbing your stethoscope, you stretch it. Good thing that one is made of plastic, it's elastic.
When Toyohime tries to hit you again with her weapon, you quickly wind your stethoscope around her staff, and try to shake it off Toyohime's hand.
“This is incredibly silly, don't you think?”
And that's getting you nowhere. Toyohime use both her hands to frantically waves the dangerous weapon around trying to hit you, and you're trying to restrain it as you can, doing your best to not touch it.
“Stop resisting, earthling!”
Kicking the moon princess, you manage to weaken her hold of the staff. Just long enough to send it flying away.
Quickly reacting, the moon princess removes her bonnet, and push it over your head. You're too busy removing that damn large thing to see where she's running, but you have a pretty accurate idea of where she's going. You try to ignore the fact that her bonnet smells kind of nice, to focus on the fact that it's your worst enemy's headgear.
You scream, while removing the bonnet from your face and kicking it away. That's some really nasty trick she used! Princesses aren't supposed to fight like that! In fact, princesses are supposed to be helpless and stuff!
“There's nothing disgusting, it's total war! All tricks are allowed!”
Argues that annoying woman back. How dare she?! Oh right, she's got a weapon able to send you flying instantly, she can do whatever she wants.
You need another plan. She won't be fooled by the stethoscope trick again. Lunarians are like that, they usually can't be fooled twice. You need another plan!
Placing your stethoscope back around your neck, you run back to the crack, with Toyohime quietly following you.
“Running away? I predicted that.”
But you're not running away. You're looking for the walking stick that Toyohime broke when she got angry after you.
“I'm not running away, I'm following my master plan's step two!”
There it is!

This is an epic fight. In the black corner, there's a inexperienced moon princess, but really smart and able to catch up with you if you're not careful. She's using an electrical weapon able to send you flying if it touches you.
You, in the white corner, are just a human brought back to life by some complicated weird stuff you stopped caring about a long time ago. You're only used to bar brawl, not war, and your weapon is a broken walking stick. You're pretty sure you can safely bet on yourself.
“I'm not playing, earthling!”
“Oh really? I though we were going to play paintball after that? Good thing you warned me!”
Toyohime attacks first. Thrusting her staff like a dagger, she tries to take you down. You manage to deflect the hit by waving your walking stick, making a loud noise.
You're fairly certain your walking stick will break before Toyohime's weapon, therefore you have to keep on and find another plan.
Despite the difficulty of fencing with a moon princess while trying to find another plan, you quickly manage to do both. Well, it's not like Toyohime is as fast as a snail or strong as a matchstick, but... well actually that's totally that.
“You should work yourself a bit more, you know?”
“Shut up!”
While fencing with Toyohime in a really stupid and silly way, you come up with a new plan. First, you're going hold that make-up combat stick with just one hand. With your other hand, you're going to check your pocket, and see if you can find a paralyzing poison.
“Woah, stepsister, don't be so aggressive!”
“You're just an earthling? Why are you even more troublesome than that gap youkai was back in the day?”
Mental confusion! She's talking to you, in order to confuse you! Don't be fooled!
“Murmur! Mustard gas! Aconitum! Manroot! Duboisia! Bloodroot! Fugu! Rabbitfish!”
“What the-?!”
Here you go! While she was distracted, you pull a syringe from your pocket, and you hide it behind your back. Now, you just have to get close enough to stab her with that pointy thing!
“That won't be that hard.”
You charge.

This time, you're on the offensive, while Toyohime is trying to defend herself. Surprisingly, once on the defensive, she's good. Hell, she's even catching up with you! If you don't end that quickly, she'll be faster than you! You can't let that happen!
You attack again, but this time, instead of aiming for her weapon, you aim for her wrist, and you hit with all your strength.
With a moan, Toyohime finally drops the dangerous weapon on the ground. You do the same, and quickly pounce her.
“H-hey! What are you doing?”
With a hand on her mouth, you quickly stab the syringe in her neck, and inject her the whole dose.
“I though it was going to be 'kill or be killed', but I decided to take the third option. I bring you back to the Eientei, and I'll make you confess everything to Yorihime.”
“Don't t-t-t-t-t-...”
“You can't speak anymore, right? Your lungs are probably paralyzed right now. You can't breathe, but that won't be enough to kill you. It's just going to be painful.”
Clenching her teeth, the lunarian princess looks at you with pure hatred in her eyes. Changing your happy tone to a deadly-serious tone, you keep on speaking.
“Be happy, you'll live. If it was just me, you would be buried alive.”
Look like you have some time before the poison totally paralyzes her. Perhaps you can tie- why is everything so blue?

You're face against ground now.
What happened? You try to stand, but your arms aren't answering any more, and your body is shaking.
That electric staff. She managed to hit you with it somehow. But that's impossible! You used enough poison to knock her cold for a hour!
Still shaking, you manage to get your nose out of the dirt. And there's no mistake, she's still here, standing. Godamn lunarians, how are they so resilient?
You try to say something, but your jaw doesn't move.
“Ha ha ha ha. I should have though about it sooner. If that doesn't work, increase the voltage.”

Things aren't looking good here. Not at all.
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Well, now I feel bad for suggesting that. Hoping for either a BDH moment from Yorihime, or for us to tell Toyohime that her sister knows about her lies and hope for a Villainous BSOD. The problem is that the second could lead to a Toyohime going berserk. That, and I'm not sure we're able to talk.
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Don't feel bad. There was no 'best' answer anyway. Toyohime may be a lazy person being too dependent from technology, she's still a moon princess. Even if you voted for a 'good' option (defending), Moriarty is still going to eat dust before defeating her. Mainly because Toyohime is the final boss and needs a long battle, but also because she's the goddamn Watatsuki. And also because she's lucky. It's even written in her profile: "good fortune".
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Also, it's a bit late, but I suggest listening to this while reading the update: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3xaMU_OGrk
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Big Damn Heroes. It's a TvTropes term for when someone jumps into a bad situation to save it (if you search this, I hold no responsibility for your suddenly disappeared day).
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>It's a TvTropes term

And therein lies the source of your communications failure. Site-specific vocabulary is not an effective method of communication when not on the specific site. Especially when you shrink it down into an acronym even though the site residents normally don't.
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Except I've used similar acronyms on sites other than TvTropes (heck, even in real life) and people have understood what I was refering to. But meh, not really important anyways.
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Acronyms may work with an English native, but with a foreigner like me, it's only confusing. I know what a BSOD is, but don't ask me to know other acronyms. Except DDYK, I know it stands for Daily Did You Know.
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[X] Congratulate Toyohime on how HUMAN she's acting.

We should whack her in the head with a rolled up newspaper. It's sort of in the grey area in terms of Luck.
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You just start whacking her with a newspaper instead.

You don't have to be all that unlucky to get whacked around with a newspaper. It's sort of a gray area.
"Bad girl. Now go your room!"
Begrudgingly obeying you, the moon princess walks away.
You wait for a while, and you confess:
"I'm glad it worked. It would have been terrible last words."
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My vote in >>8644 still stands though. Mostly because it would get underneath Toyohime's skin being compared as equal to 'An Impure Being'

And now I'm regretting not getting Tewi to help us in the fight. Manipulation of Luck would be a great asset here. Still, I can see the luck trickling out due to the paralizing poison. It will just take a while.
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Oh my, I thought you forgot that.
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You stare at Toyohime in disbelief. That's just impossible for anyone to just stand like that, unaffected!
“There is something you will never understand, human. We are gods. You cannot stand against us.”
You try to move. You manage to clench and unclench your fist, but the rest of your body still doesn't move.
The moon princess slowly walks. Taking her time. You frantically try to move again, pushing on the ground, but your legs and your arms aren't following.
“Still fighting. And yet, trying to defeat me is like trying to reach the moon. It's impossible for an earthling like you.”
You try to laugh when hearing that, but it sounds like your teeth are chattering. Instead of a good old “HA! HA! HA!”, it's a “Clac, clac, clac!”.
It probably sounds creepy and weird.
Finally reaching you, the moon princess raises her electric staff over her head, and hits you on the head with it.

You scream in pure pain, as the pain from the hit goes through your whole skull, resonating like a foghorn. A bladed foghorn, tearing everything in a painful mess.
For a half-second, you don't feel any pain. Like if everything disappeared. But then, your heart beats again, and the pain comes back.
“Now, give up. Just say 'I give up', and maybe you'll live.”
You don't answer. She hits you again, but this time, there's no foghorn tearing your brain. Just the pain from the hit. You distinctively hear Toyohime groaning something about the battery being dead. That's your chance.
Ignoring the pain, ignoring your arm giving you the impression it's being ripped from your shoulder, you extend your hand, grab Toyohime's feet, and you pull!
She falls on the ground in a totally stupid and ridiculous way. From where you are, you've got a really nice point of view on things, but you're not going to comment on that. Not now anyway. Mockery and taunt will come later.
You stand on your feet one more time. You still have some aces up your sleeves, it's time to use them!
“You'll pay for this!”
Clumsily getting back on her feet, the moon princess threatens you again, but her voice isn't convincing. She's probably realizing that putting you down won't be that easy.
“What are you gonna do now, Toyohime? You've got no weapons left.”
You attempt to boast, deliberately ignoring the fact that your head hurts, that your body is still clumsy and shaking, and that you're still dying.
“HA! HA! You're presumptuous, Moriarty! I was prepared for something like that, FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!”
She's lying. But at least, she's calling you by your name. Something changed. You don't expect respect from her, she's not noble enough for that. But something definitely changed.
“Hahaha... So tell me, moon princess. What's your plan? How are you going to defeat a lowly human such as myself? Are you going to use another artifact from your precious moon?”
“HA! HA! No. You like to break my toys, so I'm not using them anymore.”
“HAHA! Don't bring your childish toys in a real fight then.”
For a while, you both laugh together. And when you charge her.

You first grab her collar, then you move back your head, and you headbutt her in the forehead.
There's a loud 'CLUNCK' as your two empties skulls are echoing together. Then, that brief moment ends, and your headache start getting worse. But you're not giving up. Not yet.
Still holding her collar, you crouch, grab her legs, and then you raise her over your head, and throw her on the ground.
Look like having a rough life finally paid off.
“And now, are you going to surrender, moon princess?”
That was stupid from you. First, the headbutting made your headache worse. Second, throwing her was really impressive and caused her a lot of damage, but it also tired you.
Luckily, judging by her lack of reactions, it looks like your poison starts kicking in.
You poke her cheek just to make sure. She's still conscious, but she's not moving. Considering the mixture you used, it's a miracle that she's still alive. Those lunarian folks are really strong. Stronger than you expected anyway. You briefly wonder, since Toyohime isn't the physical type, Yorihime should be way stronger than her.

Anyway, it looks like the battle is over. For now, anyway. It's just a matter of time before she recovers. You can't estimate, since she's not even supposed to be alive, but with an incredible resistance like that, she won't stay long on the ground. It's a matter of minutes.

[] Find Blaidd. You'll need his help to restrain the moon princess.
[] Look in your pockets, maybe you have something to patch you up. You don't have bandages or anything, maybe you've got an adrenalin syringe somewhere.
[] Punch Toyohime while she's unable to move.
[] Find your hat. You lost it during the fight earlier. You need your hat.

Current inventory:
-in your pockets, a lot of syringes. You're not sure which one is harmful.
-around your neck, a stethoscope. It's a medical tool, but it can be used to strangle someone too.
-somewhere on your person, a small plastic bottle of some weird black goo. Probably a smoker's snot.
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Please stop using TvTropes terms on anywhere that aren't TvTropes.

Besides, that site is a trainwreck anyway. Ever watched This Troper?
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Please do your best to decipher this, it looks important.
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[X] Find Blaidd. You'll need his help to restrain the moon princess.

After this, we shall taunt and laugh at her!
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File 133018189054.jpg - (172.28KB, 938x938, SCIENCE.jpg)
Proposing theory. Sin is what causes humans to die and age. Sin is also not a quantifiable thing in human terms. Sin is something that all humans aquire or are in possesion of no matter how saintly or vicious they behave. Ergo, to rid yourself of sin a certain lifestyle is not helpful or conductive. To remove sin, you need to remove sin by some (meta)physical way and presumably dispose of it somewhere.

Lunarians have found out how to remove the sin from themselves and now dump this 'sin' resource in their ocean for virtue of not knowing what to do with it. Lunarians are free of sin, sin in this case defined as cause or catalyst for 'condition X' (human mortality) which has simply been removed, like an appendix that had to be cut out.

If this theory is correct, then Lunarian plus condition X catalyst (sin) equals normal human being.

tl;dr Fill up Toyohime with black goo and watch her hair turn brown and her eyes also.

[X] Hogtie Toyohime with your stethoscope.
-[X] Find Blaidd. You'll need his help to restrain the moon princess.
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[X] Hogtie Toyohime with your stethoscope.
-[X] Find Blaidd. You'll need his help to restrain the moon princess.

Damn, damn, damn and DAMN! The current situation is a damn stalemate. Toyohime doesn't have any weapons left, and all you have are deadly poisons. You're pretty sure they're not strong enough to kill her, but you don't want to risk her death. You don't want to go back to Yorihime and say “hey, I killed your husband and your sister. Wanna go out on a date?”
Those damn lunarians, they're so resilient it's totally unfair. You used enough drugs to kill her instantly, and yet she was still resilient enough to beat your around before falling.
You pat your head. You're slightly bleeding. Nothing much. The headache is much worse. You've got many poisons, some adrenalin shots, and you don't have any aspirin. Look like you weren't that prepared after all.

Walking to Toyohime's limp body, you grab her collar, and put her in a sitting position. Bringing your face close, you inspect her respiration. It's steady. Nothing worrying about that. Placing your ears against her chest, you listen to her heart. A bit fast, but steady too. You inspect her eyes. They're still moving. So she's still conscious somehow. Those damn resilient lunarians. Why do you even bothered making poisons if they're so resilient to them?
Anyway, Toyohime isn't in immediate danger, so you just close her eyes, take your stethoscope from your neck, and tie it around her wrists, moving her huge watch out of the way. You want to hogtie her, but that's a stethoscope. Not a rope.
With Toyohime under control for now, it's time for step... step number something. You have to bring her back to the mansion, while she's unable to do anything. But before that, you want to make sure Blaidd is alright. Last time you saw him, he was completely under Toyohime's control, and he went to obey her crazy order. You guess she just wanted him out of the picture, but you're also very curious. From what he said, he hates Toyohime probably as much as you do. Why would he obey her?

Looking around, you see many things. First, your hat. It's dirty and stuff, but it won the right to be on your head again. Second, the weird crack Toyohime opened is closing, throwing the whole area in total darkness. And third, Blaidd is right here, looking at the moon through the bamboo trees.
No, 'looking' isn't the right word. The right word would be 'staring'.
“Hey guy. It's over. Toyohime is down. Would you help me bringing her back?”
He doesn't answer, still staring at the moon. You know he's probably a lunarian or something like that, but still, this is a bit excessive.
And then he turns around. Due to the local darkness, you can't see him very well, but you see his eyes, and that's enough. They're glowing red. Like Reisen's and Udonge's.
“NevEr reTreAt iF yOu thiNk thEre'S a cHanCe to wIn thE batTle!”
“Stay where you are, I can take care of this myself.”
Blaidd's tone is mixing his usual sophisticated voice with some kind of wild roar. That's something really creepy.
“Stay where you are, I say! Otherwise, I will forget what I said about not killing anyone!”
You're boasting, of course. You can deal with mind-reading youkais, with little girls appearing out of mist, with murderous rabbits, even with lunarians, but you're afraid of that thing hiding in the darkness. You don't know what it is. You don't even know if it's really Blaidd, or if he's possessed by something.
Still shouting this nonsense, he starts walking, those red dots staring at you in the darkness.
“Stay where you are! I have, umm, a hat, and I'm not afraid of using it!”
He stops walking, and suddenly spits something at you. It hits you right in the forehead, but luckily it's doesn't hurt you. You look at it as it falls on the ground.

It's a tooth. He's spitting his teeth out.
“Okay, now that's creepy.”
You like to consider yourself as the smartest man around, but you have to admit something, for the first time in a really long time: you don't know what's going on, and you HATE that.
Ignoring your confusion, Blaidd keeps shouting his nonsense louder and louder, his sophisticated tone being less and less audible, his speech turning into a bunch of roars.
Listen to your instinct. It's saying you that you're not facing a human- you mean, a lunarian any more. That thing in the darkness is a beast, and you don't want to fight it.
You stop thinking and you run away.
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Right, Lunarian Magic Bullshit means that the moon induces insanity when you look at it.

Blaidd's currently crazy.
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Bad Wolf
You like to consider yourself as a gentleman and a scholar. Even if you resort to violence very easily, you'll still try to find another way to avoid it, as you think that being dependent from violence turns a man in a beast. Of course, your recent actions, as well as your hot-blooded murder of Ama Trassu, eroded your determination to value yourself as a gentleman. But this is irrelevant.
Forsooth, it appears that you are, from heart and mind, a scientist. You think you can explain everything, and you believe that knowledge and willpower are enough to defeat the world.
Also, being a gentleman, you do your best to dominate yourself in any situation, never using any foul language. Of course, sometimes, you may fail, and you may lost control in yourself.

Like right now, for example. But you have to admit, you had a very interesting life so far. You did many things that you can be proud of, like walking on the moon, and falling in love with a moon princess. But sometimes, you are facing something you don't understand, or that you don't want to admit.
It happened a lot recently. You met youkais, mind-readers, wizards, priests, rabbits, and other strange things. But you always managed to play the game well. Until now.

It saddens you to admit it, but there are a few things able to scare you, even with all your knowledge. For example, Watatsuki Toyohime was one of these things. Hell, Watatsuki Toyohime is still one of these things.
And even like that, there are still something else scaring you more than your murderer does. Something hiding in the darkness, sniffing, roaring, barking and growling like a wild beast.

As you run away, you hear it. Not 'him', 'it'. Because it's not human anymore. You can say by its footsteps. It's too fast. It's not human.
It jumps. You brace yourself for impact, but nothing could prepare you for the thing that lands on your back. You fall on the ground, head first in the dust. You never ate so many dust in a night.
The thing on your back falls too, but manages to roll on the ground, immediately facing you. And you get to see it for good.
It looks like a huge creature, standing on its back legs, with fur all over its body. And its head isn't human anymore. Its nose is stretched and animal-like, its ears are now bigger than they used to be, and its mouth is full of sharps fangs where you could see teeth a little while ago.
“Ah shit.”
And now you figure out why the Butler decided to call himself 'blaidd'. That's the welsh word for 'wolf'. He was trying to tell you that the whole time. Butler was actually a werewolf from the very beginning!
You don't know why Toyohime wanted him to turn into that, but you know one thing for sure: you managed to defeat Toyohime because she's a bookworm, but against something like that, you're nothing but game.

Jumping to your feet, you run away again. You don't know where you're going, but you know you're going away from this thing, and that's all you want.
It lets you go for a while, and, after howling to the moon, it starts chasing you.
It pounces you again, but this time properly. The heavy beast lands on top of you, furiously scratching your back as you're trying to unbalance it.
Swearing madly, you frantically check your pocket, looking for anything able to knock that thing cold. And you find it! Grabbing that random syringe with both your hand, you roll on yourself one time, presenting your face to the werewolf, and you stab the syringe in his chest, holding it like a knife.
It screams madly as the poison enters his body, and scratch your face in return, before scratching its own chest in pain. You lost vision from your left eye.
Abandoning the beast, you crawl away and run. If that guy was a lunarian to begin with, it won't be stopped by something that trivial. Well, you don't consider that poison as being trivial, but you doubt its efficiency against a werewolf.

You manage, you don't know how to return to Toyohime. Just in time. She managed, you don't know how either, to recover from the poison, and you can see she's manipulating her weird watch.
“Leaving so soon?”
Raising her eyes, she sees you. And smiles.
“Oh my, would you look at that. It looks like working on that thing was worth it.”
You try to smile, but you can't. You were already dying, and that thing almost torn you into pieces. If you're still up, it's probably thanks to Eirin's medicines. And also your own adrenalin.
“Blaidd turning into a werewolf was planned all along?”
The moon princess stands, almost glowing in the local darkness. Her smile goes wider.
“Not really. It was more like a fail-safe way to ensure he wouldn't last if he managed to run away from the moon. How he managed to survive this long bothers me, but now, it's only a matter of time before he's killed by the locals.”
You try to think. That doesn't make sense. Unless...
“You planned the fact that he would run away from you.”
The princess' smile becomes scorning as she keeps talking.
“He's just a slave, obeying to my voice like a puppy. But I knew that I couldn't take any risk, the Watatsuki house's honor was at stake. And now, look at this. He's going to finish the work I started, and kill you. Two birds with one stone, I honestly wasn't expecting that.”
She laughs. In a really eerie way. You try a comeback with a really ironic statement, but you're losing too much blood to think properly. Hell, you lost an eye, it's a miracle that you're not already dead from the blood loss.
The werewolf roars again. But this time, it's behind you. Right behind you.
You hear it running wildly. You prepare yourself for the impact, but nothing comes. Instead of that, you see a blurry gray form running past you, and charging the laughing Toyohime at full throttle.

The moon princess was unprepared to the heavy beast, as it knocks her on the ground before furiously attacking her.
You try to stop it. You need her alive. You need to bring her back to her sister. You need them to be together. Like sisters should be.
Toyohime screams. It's the first time you hear someone screaming like that. There's no rage in this scream, there's no pain either. It's just the horrified scream of something being shred into pieces by her own creation. Even if you don't know what she meant by that.
You need Toyohime alive. And for that, you'll kill if necessary.
Taking two other syringes from your pocket, you stab the werewolf again, this time in the neck. It screams as you're injecting him double shot, and throws you away. Landing clumsily on your sore back, you look at your hands. You're still holding the syringes. But the needles are broken.
“That had to hurt.”
You look at the werewolf. It's rolling on the ground, roaring furiously as it's scratching its own neck, trying to get rid of the poison.
While the furious beast is busy, you crawl toward Toyohime. Or what used to be Toyohime.
“Don't be dead, please, don't be dead...”
You hear her lightly sniggering.
“I'm... not dead. And why do you care?”
You look at the moon princess' face. It's a bloody mess, with claw marks all over her face.
“You're Yorihime's sister.”
“I killed you...”
“You're Yorihime's sister.”
“Grab my hand.”
You do as she say. You grab her left hand, while she's doing something with her watch.
“Not enough energy... Being as far as possible from here will be enough...”
Muttering something, the moon princess finally presses her watch. Light surrounds you, as your presence disappears from the bamboo forest.

“I don't know.”
You release the princess' hand. You'll have to thank her for that. You're not looking forward to this.
“Hey, you. Stand up.”
Great. Another girl. That means more problem. You want to stand, but you're kind of half-dead right now. Your back is a bloody mess, one of your eyes is missing, and you're pretty sure that your face look like it's been thrown in a blender.
So you're not going to stand. Instead, you're going to faint. Like that.
You faint. You don't know what's going on, but you're too tired and too injured to care.

[] That girl had dog ears.
[] That girl had crow wings.
[] That girl was a maid.
[] That girl had rabbit ears.
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Well, I was half right. Blaidd's currently crazy.

The fact that he's crazy due to being a werewolf caught me off guard though.

So now we need to fight a werewolf. Yay.

Now lets see what the choices are:

> That girl had dog ears.
Doubt it's Momiji, so it's most likely the Myouren temple. Can't remember her name, but it's the echo youkai.

> That girl had crow wings.
Unless we ended up with Utsuho, it's Youkai Mountain. Probably Aya or Hayate.

> That girl was a maid.
As I highly doubt we ended up in Makai, I'd say the SDM. So be nice to Sakuya.

> That girl had rabbit ears.
Eientei or the moon. Either way, I don't think we want to be at either location right now.

Now, I don't want to get into a philosophy argument with Byakuren again, so Myoren is out. Eintei and the moon are just too hazerdous, so they're out as well. And we've already been to the SDM, so the Youkai Mountain it is. Not to mention it's closer to Eientei when things cool down a bit.

[X] That girl had crow wings.
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[X] That girl had crow wings.

Let's (have) drag(ged) Toyohime to hell with us. After she killed us once, it makes for a change. This could be a chance for some character interaction that isn't all "DIE THE DEATH!" If we got a chance to talk properly, I wonder if she'd be...impressed at how dedicated we are to her sister. Or horrified (for a variety of reasons). Or both. Given she herself has worries about how good a sister she is (her angst over the lie etc)...fun

Also, as for why I think the girl is Utsuho, this IS /underground/.
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[] That girl was a maid.

SDM is too obvious (and Sakuya already passed away in this story), so this would be either Makai (a better hell than old hell), that weird Dream World of the -getus, or maybe certain nuclear powered maid of the Hakurei. Or maybe I'm trying to think really hard.
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Sorry for the delay.
Things aren't going as planned.
(Mainly because the "crow wings" was supposed to send you to the Youkai Mountain, and now that it's happening in hell, all my cunning plan are to be remade).
So I have to redo all my cunning plan all the cunning way to the cunning end. Because Hell isn't a nice place. Especially if you locked Hell's mistress in her own room and ran away with her sister.
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Poor Underground. Even on /underground it isn't planned on being visited.

Also, as the one who made the whole "crow=Utsuho" guess, I should mention that if you want to go to the mountain, go to the mountain. My vote doesn't really change either way, so just do what you want.
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Na, too late. The opportunity of Toyohime meeting another girl hating Moriarty is too good to be ignored.
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They're gone. Both of them.
That thing is new for him. He must be careful.
He carefully sniffs the ground.
Smells like copper.
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The first one is easy to identify.
It's the moon princess.
He cannot remember her name for now.
The other is...
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His own blood...
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But that's impossible.
He doesn't understand.
Baring his fangs in annoyance, he tries to understand.
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He's not wounded. So that's not his blood.
That's the human's blood.
The crazy doctor...
In love with Yorihime...
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The moon is still here. The night is still young.
He can make it before the morning.
He doesn't know why, but everything must be over before morning.
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[X] That girl had crow wings.

Pain is something strange. You can't explain it, you can't define it, but when it's here, you recognize it.
You're vaguely aware of someone speaking, and things moving. While you can't define it, you're aware of something going on. But you don't react.

You only start reacting when you feel something hot pressed against your missing eye. The hot object touches your missing eye, causing discomfort, but when it's frankly pressed against it, the pain quickly arrives.
And then you start reacting. First by screaming, and then by pressing your hand against your burning eye-socket.
“Do not attempt to hide your wound. Visual data are necessary in order to cauterize the wound.”
You open your other eye. In front of you, there's that girl. Long, black hair. With crow wings. Or raven wings. And a weird cape looking like a galaxy. Weird. You probably saw weirdest stuff, but the fact that your empty eye socket is burning is kind of taking away your concentration.
“What in heaven are you doing?”
The girl tilts her head. That's at this moment that you notice her lack of arm. Instead of a normal arm, she has some kind of... thingy.
“Do you wish a report on my current action?”
And for some reason she's talking like a computer. Great.
“YES! Tell me what you're doing!”
“The operator is currently following the supervisor's orders.”
“And what are those orders?”
“Providing medical assistance, in the more painful way possible.”
You don't know where you are, but there are a few people hating you enough to heal you by torturing you. Finding out who's greeting you will be the easy part.
“I require the supervisor's name.”
“Supervisor's name is Satori Komeiji.”
Of course. The pink-haired girl. You should grab Toyohime and just run aw-
“Where is Toyohime?”
“Question incorrect.”
“The female who was here?”
“The supervisor took her to provide shelter and medical assistance.”
“And I'm still here. Why?”
“The supervisor decided that 'the walking disaster can just stay in the garden and go play in the lava'.”
You're pretty sure Satori still hates you.
“Can you bring me to Satori?”
The girl shakes her head.
“Impossible. Medical assistance is still pending. I need to finish the current operation before starting a new operation.”
“I demand details about that 'medical assistance'!”
You're almost panicked here.
“I am unable to provide advanced medical assistance, however I can still close the wounds by cauterization.”
“Tell me more about that. How do you plan to cauterize me?”
“By heat. Burning the wound will cause it to close.”
You clench your hand on your empty eye socket. So that was her plan. You have to recognize it worked. Your eye is no longer bleeding. However, you smell like bacon now, and you don't like that. It's time to be smart, Moriarty. You're a biologist, do your thing!
“Umm... The heat will close the wounds, however, the whole thing will be extremely painful.”
“It was a condition for the assistance to be painful.”
“However, being a human, I have low tolerance to pain. My heart may stop if I'm facing intense pain, causing you to fail at providing medical assistance.”
You got something here. She's hesitating.
“I... The medical assistance is over. You have now to meet Miss Komeiji.”
“Awesome. Let's go.”
“What with the hand?”
“I can't get up of my own. Mind helping me?”
“Is this to be considered as medical assistance?”
“Um, yes.”
“I will then provide medical assistance.”

That girl is definitely missing a screw, but at least, she's not hostile. And that suits you perfectly. In your condition, you're not really looking forward to a fight.
After all, even if you had a basic training, you're still used to bar fights. Not fight to the death, where one is trying to kill the other. There's a difference with a “friendly” fight where one try to just punch the other until he drops knocked out, and a fight where one has weapons able to level the whole area or claws able to shred you like paper. In the second type of fight, there's a fat chance of you ending the night with worse problem than a slight headache and someone mocking you.
But this is not the time to be pessimistic. You have to find a plan. Let's think about this clearly. You mostly rely on your strength. When that doesn't work, you use your knowledge to poison your enemy.
Toyohime no longer have any weapons, so she's almost out of the picture. She still haves different powers, so you have to be careful, you don't want to end up with a knife in your back.
Blaidd is the real problem. He's stronger and faster than you, so you can't defeat him with pure strength. You tried to poison him, but he managed to resist lethal doses. When when you say 'lethal', you mean 'lethal enough to kill a whole texan ranch'.
In other words, if you try to fight Blaidd with your fists or your poisons, you're down. And yet you consider yourself lucky, Blaidd is probably insane right now. According to what him and Reisen told you, he was the Lunar Defense Group's commander. So you expect him to be smart enough to not fall in an obvious trap. Fortunately, as far as you can tell, he's insane.
Probably not insane in an 'unpredictable' sense, but as long as logic is involved, you expect him to act like a wild beast. Try to think. How would a rabid wolf act? He'll try to bite as many things as he can.

You sincerely hope he won't follow you underground.
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My apologies for not updating as fast as I'm supposed to, but there's someone in my house using the computer to play shit like WoW and Tribes. So, yeah, that's all I can write for now.
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He just needs to focus.
Just a bit.
That isn't overly complicated, even in his current state.
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NOW we're getting into business!
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Fuck You
“What with the white thing?”
“That's called a white coat.”
You don't like when a girl talking like a computer make fun of you.
“I can see that. What's the point?”
“The supervisor's orders were to provide medical assistance. Wearing a white coat will make the subject look like a scientist, and will hide the lack of efficient medical assistance.”
“All right then.”
You take the white coat from the girl's hand, and you quickly slip it on. Wonderful, you look a like a scientist. With long and dirty hair. And an eye missing. And wounds all over your back. But you still look like a scientist.
“Behind that door.”
The girl leaves you here, in front of a red door. Apparently, while you were thinking about your current situation, you walked all the way from whatever you were, and arrived here.
Behind that door is the pink-haired girl. Or so you suppose, but you doubt that girl would lie to you. So stop thinking and open that door already!

Oh god DAMN IT. Things aren't looking good here. You're entering in a vast room, mainly colored in red. Apparently because you're in Hell again, so everything has to be red. Go figure that yourself. And in the middle of the giant room, there's a long table, with chairs everywhere. And on the chairs, there are three women that you dislike.
Well, to be accurate, one woman, and two girls. And they're all looking at you. And you do not appreciate that -mainly because you have only one eye to stare at six eyes, which means that you can look for only 0,16667% of everyone's eyes. That's too low.
“Good day, Doctor Moriarty.”
That's the pink-haired girl, Satori or whatever her name is.
And that's Koishi. The least obnoxious of the group.
And that's your soon-to-be-stepsister. Of course, you're not going to say it aloud. Because she looks like a sausage who just came out of the blender. And you're pretty sure she's absolutely furious about that. And she's going to blame you for everything, because you're pretty sure she's the kind of woman blaming other for her own mistakes.
“Actually, she already did.”
Says Satori. Right, mind reading thingy.
Wonderful. You're really going to enjoy that one-sided discussion. Especially with two people ready to tear you into pieces just because they don't like you. But that's beside the point, and you're going to worry about that later.
“Hey, Toyohime. What was that thing you used?”
She frowns.
“Experimental transportation device.”
“Great. Can we use it again?”
I can use it again. But not now. It needs energy.”
“Of course. What kind of energy?”
“Lunar radiation.”
“And it was such a clever idea to send us underground. Because we're really going to find a lot of those 'lunar radiation' underground.”
The moon princess frankly grimaces.
“It looks like you conveniently forgot the fact that I lacked the time to set a proper destination because you were being murdered by a abomination!”
Oh right, now that arrogant wretch is getting on your nerves!
“Oh yeah?! For me, it sounds like you forgot the fact that you were defenseless, and that you couldn't even put a fight against that!”
“Because you destroyed all my weapons!”
“Of course I'm going to destroy them! You tried to kill me, you crazy maniac! Do you expected me to go 'all right powerful moon princess, go on and kill me again, it's not like I fought for years for nothing'? SERIOUSLY!”
“Don't forget who you are talking to, HUMAN! I saved you from the abomination!”
“Blaidd has nothing against me! It's only because I tried to protect you that he attacked me! And don't blame me, at least you have both your eyes!”
“It's not my fault if you're stupid enough to go between an abomination and its prey!”
“Oh yeah, so you're basically saying that it's my fault I'm one-eyed, because I tried to save you? You're the most ungrateful little wreck I ever met!”
“Oooh, so now it's the part where I'm supposed to thank you? Let's try it right now! 'Ooooh, thank doctor Moriarty, you dishonored my beloved little sister, you practically spat on my house's name, and because you tried to be a hero, I'm going to thank you'!”
“And I guess it's the part where I'm supposed to thank you for killing me, right? 'Oooh, thank you all mighty moon princess! You killed me in a painful and traumatizing way, you lied to your sister about me, and you're insulting me despite the fact I saved your arrogant royal butt and lost an eye for this'!”
While you're busy having a gentlemanly discussion with Toyohime, you don't notice Satori and Koishi eating popcorn while looking at the whole thing.

“Ooooh, DAMN RIGHT! You're late because you decided to pimp around, you give stupid orders to Blaidd, knowing very well that he's going to carry them out, and that he's going to turn into a freaking werewolf!”
“Listen to that! The earth monkey tries to tell me what's right and what's wrong! I've seen your whole civilization unfolding, I will not be lectured by a pest unable to see any further than its own little nose!”
“Okay, maybe I'm just a pest with a poor lifespan, but at least, I'm not spending all my life scheming things and lying to my family! You try to give yourself the superior moral ground by pretending to be a goddess, and you conveniently forget the fact that you killed me!”
“I don't have to pretend to be a goddess! I'm Watatsuki no Toyohime, and this is enough to give me the right to do whatever I want!”
“AH YEAH? I'm the Doctor James Moriarty. My name is shitty, but unlike you, I'm smart enough to create a germ able to wipe your whole freaking civilization from the face of your goddamn moon, DO YOU COPY?”
“Ha, yeah, because your pesky little poisons were so efficient against me earlier! They worked so fine!”
“I'm talking seriously here, Toyohime! Don't underestimate me! You NEVER saw me really angry!”
“I can say the same thing! I only used my most basic toys against you, but I have enough tools to level the whole planet if I want to!”
“Your most basic toys are now ashes and burned wastes. So go on, bring more of your stupid toys! That won't change you, you'll stay the stupid and arrogant princess you are!”
“Look who's talking! You like to call me arrogant, but I'm a goddess! You may be a good human, you're still just a human! Nothing more! It doesn't matter what drugs you drink, or what you do, you'll still be nothing but a insect compared to me!”
“An insect who still managed to defeat you with its bare hands!”
“You are arrogant, comparing yourself to a god! I suppose you think you're superior to Mistress Yagokoro too, right?”
You stop shouting at her.
She stops shouting too.
“Eirin Yagokoro. The one with a scary smile, looking like a nurse.”
“Ha, her.”
“Yes, her.”
“What about her?”
“I met her, right?”
“I suppose you think you're superior to her, right?”
You avoid Toyohime's stare for a few seconds before answering. She's right about your arrogance. But you can't lie. Not now. You have to say it, even if it hurts your self-esteem.
“... No.”
She's silent for a while.
“All right, maybe you're not as arrogant as I thought.”
There's an uncomfortable silence between you.

And then, you say it.
“Why do you hate me so much?”
Her gaze unfaltering, she answers immediately.
“You are human.”
“And your point is?”
She pinches her nose.
“My little sister is very sensitive, but I'm afraid she doesn't understand her position. We're both princesses. We're not nobles, not ladies, but princesses. We have duties to carry around. We don't have our own freedom.”
“I think I can see your point.”
“I know. Yorihime was married to another prince. It was not an happy marriage, I knew that. But it was a good marriage. And then you arrived, and you killed him.”
“It was a fair challenge.”
“I remember that. But try to consider things from our view. From my view to be accurate. The Watatsuki house is responsible for the Moon's safety. And then, because of the youngest princess, one of the most respected prince was killed by an earthling.”
“I think I remember saying something about fair challenge.”
“From a lunarian point of view, there is nothing like fair challenge between a prince and a commoner. So between a prince and an earthling, it's not even existing. But we're getting sidetracked.”
“Yeah, explain me where's the problem is.”
“The problem is the following: the Watatsuki house has been protecting the Moon from the Earth's sinful influence for millenniums. And then, suddenly, one day, a citizen from that cursed place kills a lunarian prince, and s... sl...”
“Just say 'spend the night with'.”
“Spends the night with one of the princess in charge of the Moon Defense.”
“Oh. Let get recap this.”
“Go on.”
“People on the Moon started wondering if your family could still be trusted with that duty.”
“Exactly. You're not as dumb as I thought.”
“I'll try to take that as a compliment.”
“Therefore, I cannot let you together. I resent lying to my little sister like that, but this is important.”
You scratch your nose, trying to calm down. So that's how everything went, hu? Poor Yorihime, she had it rough. And to think you abandoned her on top of that....
“I guess I can't really explain that seeing Yorihime's face is the only thing who kept me from wiping every living form from the face of the moon?”
“You can't.”
“You know, Toyohime, I think I got your point.”
“Thank you.”
“However, that does not mean I forgive you. You still lied to Yorihime, and you hurt her a lot. I love her, for God's sake, I went through great pain just to see her face again, so I'm sorry to say it, but even if the whole moon tries to get in my way, I'll butcher everything if I need to.”
The moon princess sighs.
“Are you really to go that far? You're just a human. Don't get full of yourself because you killed a lunarian prince caught off-guard.”
“He meant it, you know? He's really ready to take the whole moon down.”
You both jump. With your gentlemanly discussion, you completely forgot about the girls, Satori and Koishi.
“My, my, forgetting about us and arguing like teenagers. Isn't it cute? But it is totally uncalled for. Especially for you, Doctor Moriarty.”
Oh dang. Look like she's still pissed about that innocent little joke you made earlier.
“Locking someone in her room and running away with her sister is hardly something I would call 'an innocent little joke'.”
“Now this is something I don't know. Mind telling me more?”
Curse that moon princess!
“God dammit Toyohime! Don't group all together against me!”
“I'm with Moriarty! His mind is funnier now that he's sane!”
For some reason, being in the same group than the girl unable to focus on anything is quite scary. Maybe you should just leave and go back to the overworld.
“That reminds me, Lady Satori, since you can read earthlings minds, maybe you can help me?”
“You want me to peek inside Moriarty's mind? What do you want me to know?”
“I know to know exactly how he feels about my sister.”
The pink-haired girl stare at your eye with her two eyes.

Well, her three eyes to be accurate. Your forgot the one one her chest. That means you have only one eye against eight eyes. You almost regret getting up this morning. You're facing too many eyes. And your own eye is missing. Probably somewhere in the bamboo forest. You need more eyes. Eyes are important. You can't rely on your sense of smell. You need more eyes. More eyes.
“Trying to block me, I see? That doesn't matter.”
You feel like the whole world is against you. And you're alone against it.
No. Not totally alone.
The satori blinks a few time. With all her eyes. That's creepy.
“I'm not sure. I could see a real obsession, a lot of respect, and a desire to be with your sister forever.”
“What else?”
“I saw no lust, if that's what you're thinking about.”
“Mmm.” Toyohime looks unsatisfied. “Moriarty! What is your opinion about me?”

What's your opinion about Toyohime Watatsuki?
[] Lie to her.
[] Say the truth.
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When you have a living lie detector right next to you, telling the truth is the best thing to do. Unless you're that good at lieing.

Which we are not.

[X] Say the truth.
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[] Say the truth.

Satori, etc.
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[X] Lie the truth to her.
I have faith in you, Ddyk.
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[X] Say the truth.

Nothing can go wrong.
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Are you trying to get us killed?
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[x] Say the truth.

“My opinion of you?” You smile in a really unsettling way. “Well, first you're arrogant. But after hearing your speech, I guess that's natural from a so-called 'goddess'.”
“Of course it is.”
“Also, you're arrogant enough to forgive yourself quite easily, while holding grudge against other people.”
She frowns.
“Why do you say that?”
“You blame me because I love your sister, but you see nothing wrong with assassinating me and sending your sister into exile. I don't know if you're that arrogant, or if you're just hypocrite.”
“On top of that, you're constantly calling Blaidd an abomination, despite the fact he worked for you, if I got that right. Am I right?”
“He worked for me indeed. And he's still following my orders.”
You pinch your nose. That arrogant woman is making things complicated by giving you half-answers.
“Mind telling me the whole story about Blaidd and why he wants to kill you? Why is he even here to begin with?”
She sighs.
“This is a touchy subject.”
“You're talking with a person you murdered. There are no touchy subject.”
She looks away. That's really unusual for that self-confident bossy princess. That's something really touchy to annoy her that much. That alone is a very good reason for you to keep asking.
“After my sister's exile, I needed someone to lead the rabbits-”
“You mean that Lunar Defense thingy?”
“Yes. So I created a person able to lead them for me.”
“What do you mean, you created?”
“I used Lady Yagokoro's notes.”
“Okay. So you decided to use that brilliant woman's notes. But even with that, I highly doubt you can create someone just from paper.”
“I... used DNA from different people.”
Aaaah, look like you're finally getting in the interesting part.
“Finally something interesting. Let me guess, you used Yagokoro's notes without really understanding them, right?”
Still looking at the wall behind you, Toyohime answers in a really slow and careful tone.
“No. I understood them. However, I was lacking the genetic material.”
“Let me recap. You used Eirin Yagokoro's notes to understand the process, but in the end, you made a man by patching different DNA together?”
This time, she looks at you, visibly pissed.
“OF COURSE NOT! I knew what I was doing! Besides, I wouldn't call that 'patching it together'. I worked hard to obtain something viable! The first experience was a hybrid overly aggressive.”
“Excuse me...”
That's Satori. Butting in the conversation.
“What is it?”
“I would be grateful if you could avoid such topics here.”
You look at Toyohime. She shrugs. You nods in return.
“Fine. Let's talk about something else.”
Silence quickly falls, before being interrupted by Koishi.
“But that was interesting! That DNA thing, it defines what a person is, right?”
That question isn't directed toward anyone, so nobody answers. Thus forcing Koishi to repeats her question.
“DNA defines a person, right?”
You decide to answer yourself.
“Basically, yeah. But n fact, one's personality can't be defined by genetic.”
“I'm not too sure about that.”
Oh, look at that, the moon princess thinks she knows more about biology than you do.
“Amuse me.”
“I'm fairly certain that arrogance can be transmitted, from an individual to a biological 'son'.”
You don't know what to think about that. You're sure there's an insult hidden somewhere, but you don't understand where exactly. You briefly wonder if Toyohime knows what kind of person your father was. And hearing Satori's giggle is really annoying you.
She seems satisfied enough with your troubled look, and keeps speaking with Koishi while you're busy thinking.

And then you notice it.
It's floating all over the room.
You thought it was snow or something.
But it's not.
It's ash.
Ashes floating all over the room.
Something standing right behind you.
You feel a hot breath on your neck.
You stop moving.
They're all looking at the thing right behind you. Toyohime is shocked, Satori looks horrified, and Koishi is just curious. You, however, are terrified.
You're not used to it. As you probably already said before, you're not easily scared. In front of danger, your first reflex is usually to punch it. But even a simple man such as yourself can be scared by things he cannot understand. Toyohime was the first of them, mainly because she shredded you into pieces. Eirin Yagokoro was the second, because that woman easily negates everything you throw at her (poisons, syringes and even chairs). And the butler Blaidd is the third, because he's simply stronger and faster than you.
You just don't like not being on top of the food chain. That's why you prefer dealing with humans. You're smarter than the average human, so you can control a fellow human more easily. But since you're back from the grave, you've been meeting rampaging monsters, mind-reading little girls, manipulating killers, bunnies girls, zombies, ghosts, and even gods.
You really miss the good old time. You're almost forgetting the fact that you can be killed very easily by that werewolf standing right behind you, currently busy sniffing the wounds on your back.
You try to speak, but you're too scared to do nothing more than whispering.
She doesn't answer. Damn that woman, she's really useless. Useless princess, all useless!
The werewolf start growling again. It's going to attack. It's your chance to do something.

You need to do something. Quickly.
[] You have a chair nearly. Grab it and throw it to its head!
[] Ask Satori if there's something she can do. She's good with animals, right?
[] Ask Koishi if Ha ha ha ha, right.
[] Ask Toyohime to give you her weird transportation device or whatever the hell is it.

Not satisfied at all with that update, but after rewriting it 3 times, I gave up. Sorry about that. Also, I will probably stop writing that story for a while, given that I'm registered for some kind of exam. I'll need time to work on it.
Short version for busy people: update shitty, next update won't be tomorrow.
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One last thing: that update will probably be erased and rewritten for the fourth time if I happen to have a good idea for it.
If you wonder why I posted it to begin with, know that it's because:
-I haven't updated that story for a while (even if that other story in /eientei/ goes ignored for a real while)
-I want to move on and finish this story
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[x] You have a chair nearly. See if you can get it between you without making the ungodly tough creature any more pissed off than necessary.
[x] While doing the above, ask Satori if there's something she can do. She's good with animals, right?
If Satori doesn't think she can do anything
-[x] Ask Toyohime to give you her weird transportation device or whatever the hell is it. Hope it has enough juice for one more teleport and see if you can teleport Blaidd...anywhere that isn't here, honestly. Without taking yourself along, if possible.

I'm...impressed by Blaidd's ability to find a utterly random teleport so quickly.
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[x] Ask Satori if there's something she can do. She's good with animals, right?

Satori can hear us over the growls since she's a mind-reader!
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I'm not sure if 'impressed' is the word I would choose.
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>I'm...impressed by Blaidd's ability to find a utterly random teleport so quickly.
I'm... not sure I really understood what you mean.
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[x] You have a chair nearly. See if you can get it between you without making the ungodly tough creature any more pissed off than necessary.
[x] While doing the above, ask Satori if there's something she can do. She's good with animals, right?
-[x] Ask Toyohime to give you her weird transportation device or whatever the hell is it. Hope it has enough juice for one more teleport and see if you can teleport Blaidd...anywhere that isn't here, honestly. Without taking yourself along, if possible.

Slowly, slowly... Move forward. Gently grab the chair in front of you, and try to get it between between the wounded undead human you are and the crazy wizard-werewolf.
Ha ha ha. Wizard Werewolf. WW for short.
But when WW starts growling again, you bravely decide to not risk your other eye by pissing it off. No risk, no fun they say. But your idea of fun is being as intact as you can. And you already lost an eye. And a lot of blood too.
Okay, so you can't move. Can you do something else? Can you ask Satori for... No, you can't. That stare she's giving you is telling 'I'm not going to help you, fix that by yourself'. Of course, expecting her help was stupid. You locked her in her own room in order to abduct her sister, so she's obviously not going to help you any more. She's probably just going to wait until everything is done, and then, she'll point at the exit without saying a word.
So you can't count on her.

What about Toyohime then? Her transportation device could work on Blaidd like it worked on both of you earlier. If you can get him far enough, everything will be fine.
“Hey, Toyohime. Gimme your teleportation thingy.”
Of course. And that wizard-werewolf is growling louder than before now. It does not like that. You, on the other hand, are hating this current situation.
“Mind telling why?”
“You're going to die. That'll fix my problem.”

You like to consider yourself as a gentleman, and a scholar. But sometimes, you snap, and say something you might regret later. But not now.
Quickly, you rummage in your pocket, grab the first thing you find, and throw it at Toyohime while screaming something probably very insulting.
The very next second, something grabbed your shoulder, and pulled you, making you fall on the ground. You're vaguely aware of something passing over you, but you distinctly hear Toyohime screaming.

Elegantly jumping to your feet, you're witnessing a very amusing scene. In front of you, there's Blaidd. He's showing you his back, which means you can easily attack him. But between both of you and Toyohime, there's a wall.
“What the...”
Oh. She opened a crack earlier. Must be the same kind of thing you have here. Except that this time, instead of opening a crack toward the moon or something like that, she opened a crack leading underground. Right in a rock.
That's fairly clever from her. You have to give her credit for this.
If she can open cracks just like that, why didn't she did that earlier?
Oh-ho. Screaming was a bad idea. Now that beast is after you.
“God damn dog with an attention span of 5 seconds. Can't you stay focused on that murderous and manipulative lunarian instead of being all worked up against me?”
You're pretty sure that means “NO” in werewolf language. Crap.
You grab the nearest chair around by the back, and you brandish it like a weapon. You look totally stupid, but at least, you'll be able to hit it with something if you need. And you need. RIGHT NOW!
The beast tries to pounce you. You quickly crouch, avoiding the creature.

BUSY BUSY BUSY there you go for now. I should be able to write more this week end.
Also, if you managed to somehow kill the Wall of Flesh, you're on my "to hate" list.
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I'm sort of getting the feeling that we're not supposed to be able to win this.
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Whelp. This isn't going well.
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Let go your hair
You remember the conversation you had with that woman, a long time ago. It was just before you went to university. It was in a random bar, you don't remember which one, but you do remember what she said.
“You have potential. You might become something.”
You could become something. So you decided to become biologist. And now, you're regretting it. If you were a soldier, you could be fighting back now. Instead of doing your best to defend yourself against a raving werewolf with only a damn chair.
And you're not talking about the moon princess, who's actually trying to block you between her rock/crack/wall/whatever the hell is this thing and the wizard werewolf. Look like your bad night is getting worse and worse.
“I hate every goddamn person in this goddamn room.”
And obviously, you can't expect Satori to help you. She's probably locking all the doors by now, letting you deal with both the raving moon princess and the wizard werewolf. And Koishi is probably already away, so easily bored with everything.
You wave the chair, trying to repel the werewolf. But you lost your motivation, and he smells it. You don't know how. Probably his doggy sense of smell. Or probably the fact that you're slow when waving your chair, instead of being fast and aggressive like you usually are.
In other words, unless you can get rid of that werewolf right now, you're screwed. The other way around would be to get rid of Toyohime, and then use her watch thing to get rid of the werewolf. But the problem is that she's protecting herself with her crack-thing.
“Woah, Nelly!”
Don't think when you're being pounced, that'll lead you to the game over screen pretty fast.
But there's a possible solution. You just need to knock that werewolf out. You still have a chair, right?
There's a huge rock behind you. Courtesy of Toyohime. You're trapped again between a rock and a hard place. Well, that werewolf is probably more than a hard place, but that's beside the point. Now it's the time to have a plan.
“I have a plan!”
You have a plan!
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The two sisters
“And then? What happened?”
Asks Eirin, while Udonge is stitching your face back.
“I decided to try my plan. And it worked. That's why I'm here.”
Here, in the clinic/mansion/hospital that they call Eientei. You're currently completely stoned. Eirin gave you something strong enough to knock you. You don't even feel Udonge stitching your face.
“I can see that, Branwen. Look at yourself, you're in pieces. And Toyohime is...”
She stops talking, but you understand she's silently looking at the blond-haired woman unconscious on the bed.
“Yeah, that was...” What's the word? “An unforeseen consequence.”
Eirin's voice sounds extremely skeptic.
“You? Not planning something like that? I doubt it.”
“I swear!”
“Tell me what your plan was.”
You stay silent for a few second, looking at Udonge. Brave Udonge, nice Udonge. Stitching your face back even through it was nothing but minced meat after the werewolf screwed you for good. And she's still silent, now that she's the one fixing your flawed plan.
No, no, stay focused. You were asked a question. Answer the question.
“The plan was to get rid of Blaidd, even if it was just for a few seconds. Then, I would run away. Toyohime would most probably use her power to block the way out, exposing herself.”
The brain of the Moon nods while listening.
“Yes, that sounds like a decent plan so far.”

Eirin's interruption is enough to lose you. For a second, you forget where you are.
And then you remember. You're sitting in Eirin's office. Udonge is stitching your face back, while Eirin is tending to the unconscious Toyohime's wounds. That's simple. But why is it so difficult to focus?
Ha right. Eirin gave you something strong. You can't feel your body. Completely numb. She probably wanted to make sure you wouldn't turn her office into a fireplace again. Unless that's some kind of reward. Something like “you didn't killed her, so you won the right to be stoned during the painful healing process”.
Haha, no way in hell Eirin would be that nice. Stay focused.
“So, uh, I attacked the werewolf (what was his name already?) Blaidd. Managed to knock him for a second. Just as planned. After that, I ran away, and Toyohime did exactly what I expected her to do.”
“That doesn't explain that.”
“That's complicated for me too. For some reason, I had a bottle of black goo in my pocket all along. And I suddenly decided to throw it to her face.”
“Black goo? Can you be more specific?”
You want to sleep. You want to sleep so bad, and Eirin is only interrogating you more and more. There's apparently something wrong with Toyohime, and Eirin thinks it's your fault. Well, that's probably your fault.
“We'll talk about that later. So what happened?”
“As soon as the goo touched her, she screamed and jumped away like a cat being thrown in water. I guess she fell on her head or something, because then she stopped moving.”
“And what did you do?”
“I ran to her body, and took her watch-thingy. I tried to set it properly, but I couldn't understand it, so in the end, I just pressed random buttons. But I forgot Blaidd, and he quickly pounced me again and attacked me. That's because of him that my face is kind of ruined.”
“And then?”
“I shoved the thing down his throat, and kicked him in the chest. And he disappeared. I don't know where he landed. I don't even know if he's still alive.”
“And after that?”
“Toyohime woke up, and started yelling gibberish at me. Stuff about godhood.”
“What did she said exactly?”
“I don't remember.”
“What happened after that?”
“I attacked her.”
“That's all.”
You're lying, of course. But there's no need to mention how you happily punched Toyohime several times, and how you kicked her in the chest strong enough to hear something breaking. She doesn't need to know that. Nobody needs to know that. You're already considered as a murderer, you don't want to be considered as the guy who beat a woman to half-death while she was defenseless.
Well, that's exactly what you did, but that's beside the point.
“And after that?”
“The Hakurei girl arrived, and said that Toyohime and I shouldn't be underground.”
“She knew about Toyohime?”
“I told her earlier.”
“And after that?”
You snap. Standing, you look at Eirin. She's sitting, head resting on Toyohime's chest, listening to her breathing. The doctor's eyes are still sharps, and they're currently focused on you, despite her attention being turned on Toyohime.
“Hey, what the hell is that? Some kind of interrogation? I'm tired, I'm wounded, and I have to bear with your questions, again and again? Drop the stupid questions already, and let me go to sleep.”
Without raising her voice, she answers in an acid voice.
“No, you're going to sit, and you're going to answer my questions. As far as I care, you're a murderer with no sense of moral, no sense of good or evil. A total sociopath. You don't care for anyone else but you. You killed my grandnephew because you wanted his wife, and now you ruined Toyohime's power because of some petty revenge.”
Usually, you should feel threatened by the self-proclaimed goddess' tone, but you're too tired to be scared.
“You don't know what you're talking about, Eirin! You're inventing things just to antagonize me, conveniently forgetting the fact that your grandnephew or whatever challenged me in a fair duel, and that your friend over here killed me two centuries ago!”
“Do NOT use my name. We're not equal, and we'll never be! During your whole life, you'll stay a pathetic earthling crawling on the floor, unable to understand how pathetic it is really!”
“OH REALLY? Coming from someone who calls herself a goddess, and who's still unable to do anything else than rely on medicines, I'm not surprised! Oh, tell me that! Look like I can use medicines too! And maybe I'm even better than you?”
“No chance. I have an eternity of experience behind me. What do you have?”
“I have a hat full of nothing, an eye socket full of air, and a head full of rage. Does that answer your question?”
Finally fed up with you, Eirin stands in front of you.
“Now this is enough. I'm keeping you alive just because Yorihime asked me to, but what you did to Toyohime is enough to consider you as a criminal against the Moon.”
“Oh yeah? So punching girls is now criminal?”
It always was, but don't say it.
“Are you really that stupid? Toyohime is one of the few person able to link the Earth with the Moon.”
“Nice story, but save it for someone who doesn't have a grudge against her!”
“Because of you, Toyohime is not lunarian any more!”
You loudly scream in joy.
“THE PERFECT REVENGE! MWHAHAHA, I love myself for being so perfect in my plans.”
Eirin looks appaled.
“You don't understand the gravity of the situation.”
“I do. But point is, as you said, I don't care about anyone else than Yorihime. That situation doesn't concern her, so it doesn't concern me.”
The Brain of the Moon pinches her nose.
“I was wrong. You're not a sociopath. You're just obsessed with Yorohime.”
“And what's wrong with that?”
“I can explain why it's wrong, but I'm not sure you would understand.”
“Way to try and hide your lack of arguments, lunarian.”
“Urgh. Do you have any idea how difficult it will be for me to fix your mess?”
“Do you have any idea how bad I wanted Toyohime dead? I wanted to strangle her slowly, I wanted to wrap my hands around her pretty neck, and squeeze until she falls to her knees, and begs. I wanted to kill her slowly, by stabbing her with knives I would've stocked in salt water. I wanted to break her fingers, one by one. I wanted to jump on her chest, again and again, until her ribs are all but pieces. So don't tell me how hard it will be for you to fix that, because you have no idea how hard it was for me to not kill her.”
A small smile appears on Eirin's lips.
“I can send that back to you. You were dying. You, the infamous murderer who deceived my beloved pupils and dishonored a great noble house. You were dying, just in front of me, because you foolishly decided to attack another lunarian lord. I coulda killed you, without doing anything. And nobody would blame me for doing so. But instead of that, I kept you alive. So don't tell me how hard it was for you to not kill Toyohime. Because it was harder for me to keep you alive, despite everything. You're in love with Yorihime, but for me, and for Toyohime, you're a criminal. And a murderer.”
You're defeated by Eirin's diatribe. Totally crushed. Nothing else to do here. You're just going away. Walking away. Quietly.
“I'm not a murderer...”
You close the door behind you. And you walk back to your room.
You sit against the wall, and you think. You never really tried to see things from Toyohime's perspective. You just supposed she was arrogant, or jealous. Something like that. If she's truly thinking you're a mad murderer, you guess you can understand her actions.

Well, maybe a little. She still killed you, exiled her own sister, and created a monster.
You sigh. You though that, once you defeated Toyohime, everything would be fine. Hell, you lived for the day you would defeat Toyohime. And now what? You're still considered as a murderer, you're still unable to live peacefully with the woman you love, and you lost an eye.
Things will be complicated. Much more complicated, from now on, in fact. You cannot act like an irresponsible crazy guy any more.
Still, you managed to take the third choice. Yorihime won't have to choose between her sister and you. That's a relief. You don't know what tomorrow will be made of, but you know that you won't face it alone.

For the first time in centuries, you feel relieved.
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After the story
It's that time of the moon.
Once again, the full moon is visible to everyone, humans and monsters alike.
The folks from the village are partying happily, forgetting, just for a night, that they're almost extinct.
The youkais from Gensokyo are partying at the Hakurei Shrine, renewing an old tradition, but missing the familiar green-haired ghost who took care of the Shrine. Rumor says that the miko sealed her for messing with the Shrine, but nobody will ask her.

Meanwhile, in a village lost in borders, there is a house. In the house, is living the great youkai sage and her servants.
“So, Ran, how was it?”
Hearing her name, the woman's back goes tense, instantly forgetting tonight's special program about relaxing and forgetting work.
“It went better than expected, Lady Yukari.”
“Tell me about that.”
While the fox woman is giving the youkai sage a perfectly accurate summary of the events occurred during the month, Renko Usami and Chen are busy playing chess, not caring about those great businesses the youkais are up to. Until Yukari says a name that instantly catch Renko's attention.
“And what about Moriarty? What happened to him?”
Still in her professional tone, the fox keeps speaking.
“Well, the physician managed to help him recover his lost eyes. In fact, she fixed everything he did so far. He's departing tonight. To the moon.”
“How sweet. With his girlfriend, on an eternal honeymoon...”
“Not quite, Lady Yukari. It's more like the sisters are leaving, and he's following them.”
Yukari doesn't sound surprised, despite the word coming out of her mouth. And nobody's taken in by. Not even Chen.
“Well, I'm not sure about the details, but I know that one of the sisters hates him.”
“Sounds like complicated days for him to come. That's enough Ran. Relax now. This is a direct order.”
Happily wagging her nine tails, the fox drops her documents and walks away to her own business.

Once her game with Chen is over, Renko walks to Yukari, sits next to her, and asks something that's been on her mind for a good while.
“Why bothering about Moriarty?”
The great youkai sage answers immediately.
“Because he's the perfect errand boy.”
“I don't remember him working for you. Excepted when he drove away that lunarian lord who tried to investigate.”
“That's the point. He drives away the lunarian, and he resurrected Reimu. And Hijiri too. Well, I wasn't expecting him to bring Hijiri back to life too, but that's good.”
“I don't understand.”
The youkai waves her fan, lecturing the young girl in a singing tone.
“Renko, Renko, Renko... You're just not devious enough to understand the whole picture. I wanted many things. Tell me what I wanted.”
The girl tries to remember.
“You wanted to rebuild Gensokyo.”
“Exactly. And to rebuild Gensokyo, I needed a Hakurei. Unfortunately, the last of them died a long time ago, without any descendant. So, I needed to bring her back to life.”
“Yeah, I can understand that. But why bringing Moriarty back to life first?”
“Because I wanted to be sure the process would work. So I tried it on a pawn I used a long time ago.”
“Yeah, and it worked. We had doubts at first, but once he arrived in Gensokyo, he finally had a sane behavior. So why didn't you revived Reimu yourself?”
“Because then, the Yama would be after me. By manipulating a human into reviving Reimu, I ensured that nobody would blame me for violating natural laws.”
That was a really devious plan. But at the same time, it was also very simple. With all the recent events, Moriarty would easily forget a small wood box. Then, Yukari would be free to get it back without problem.
“I see. But what about the Moon then?”
“Oh. That was just a friendly revenge. My first goal was to send something troublesome on the Moon, to create troubles. You know, forcing people into watching the other way while you're doing something mischievous. But things went better than expected.”
“Are you referring to Moriarty being a walking disaster?”
“Yes. I must admit I never expected him to live more than two hours once walking on the Moon's surface. Not only he survived, he also fell in love with one of those horrible sisters.”
“So you're fine with him going back to the Moon?”
“Yes I am. He's a walking disaster, he's aggressive, arrogant, dangerous, violent, and extremely obsessed over that Watatsuki girl, but he's also the kind of thing that you can use to make people move.”
“I don't understand that.”
The youkai closes her fan, trying to think.
“He's like... a spiked ball. You place that spiked ball on a hill, and you gently push it. Everything on its way will be forced to move.”
“I can understand that, yeah. But I don't understand the link between him and a spiked ball.”
“He's the spiked ball. I pushed it to the Moon, and everything is forced to either fight him either move away.”
“And that's good?”
“The Moon is an unmovable thing. The Lunar Society is never moving, always frozen in time. I want to kick the anthill, and watch them moving everywhere in panic. I want to force them to move. So I sent them a walking disaster, strong enough to defeat one of the Watatsuki sisters, stupid enough to fall in love with the other one, and arrogant enough to believe he's equal to Yagokoro.”
“He was killed last time.”
“And I won't bring him back to life. Don't be afraid, I'm certain he'll be fine.”
“I'm not worried about him.”
“Really? Would you tell me why you stopped smoking?”
“Hin hin hin.”
Inside the house, there was a room.
Inside the room, there was a list, pinned to the wall.

The list said:
revive Reimu (not sure how to do it)
get rid of lunarian investigation (no moon dudes in gensokyo) SAVE FOR THE PHYSICIAN
find a boyfriend for Reimu (we need descendant)
restore the Hakurei border (that'll be difficult, plan a few days off before and after)

Just with an action, the youkai sage managed to accomplish two objectives on four. The others would take time, and more tact. Nothing too complicated for the youkai sage.
On the bright side, she could always go bug that physician to have some nice stories about the Moon. Sending that human is the best way to ensure she'll have funny stories to tell at dinner time.

Because sometimes, things aren't going as planned. Because sometimes, a human would get worked up over silly things. And because sometimes, someone would follow him, there are stories. The story of the Doctor Branwen “Moriarty” Gruffydd is over. That man died centuries ago. A new story is starting, with a new character. It will be troublesome for him to live on the Moon, but he'll do his best. Because he was asked to.
The story of the arrogant, violent, and obsessed human is now over. The story of the self-confident, merciless and overprotective lunarian will start.
Branwen Gruffydd is dead. Long live Branwen Watatsuki, even if he hates his first name, even if he doesn't like not being human any more, he threw everything away for one woman, and he'll never regret it.
That is a story that I, the last of the Hieda, would like to write, as Moriarty looked like a kind man, but I was told that lunarian businesses are not our businesses. That's too bad, I hoped I could make a new friend here.
If, one day, you're reading this, Branwen, know that I'm sorry I missed your marriage, as well as your departure, but I hope that life will be good to you. You're not the best person I ever met, but you are a good person.

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So, are you going to write a sequel, where Moriarty continues his path of destruction in the Lunar city?

Whoever saw those 2 last posts, sorry. My internet fucked up
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I'm going to write a sequel, but Moriarty won't be the main character. It'll be like Game of Thrones, on the moon. After I'm done with my shorts and Richard's story, of course.

I also need to find a decent name for that story, and to write several family trees for the Lunar noble houses, along with japanese-sounding names. Or maybe nicknames, since earthlings apparently can't prounounce genuine lunarians names. That'll take time.

But for now, the official ending is:
And they lived happily even after.
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About that. Are you ever going to finish Richard's story?
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Even if it takes me month to finish it, I will finish it.
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Let's talk here.
Yep, totally. He's egotist, violent, self-centered, and obsessed with his own goal, not caring for people in his way. And he's also paradoxical. I mean, he's a scientist, and yet he's extremely violent. He's very polite, never saying "fuck" and yet his favourite answer is punching people in the face. He's Welsh, and yet I did my best to give him an american accent. Hell, he calls himself a doctor, and yet he's more skilled at killing people or beating them than healing them.
The only reason for him to be the good guy is because he's the MC, and also because he's interested in Yorihime. If it weren't for that woman, he woulda been be the antagonist.
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So basically he's a crappier version of the wizard in A Wizard Is You.

Got it.
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Not at all. The wizard is supposed to be sympathetic, despite his flaws. I don't want Moriarty to be a nice character. The wizard is ready to risk his life to help Keine, while Moriarty is just helping people when he can earn something from it. If he's not gaining something from helping, he'll ignore or attack the one in his way, even without provocation.
His only redeeming features are his love for Yorihime, and the fact that he doesn't kill when it's possible.
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And stop comparing stories/characters, that's stupid.
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How about not-saging? Is that particularly smart?
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I forgot.
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