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File 130495519863.png - (1.96MB, 1524x2156, Blink and kamehamehe.png)
Blink and kamehamehe
“I heard that when you die in extreme pain or sorrow, you become an evil spirit, only caring about his revenge. Now I'm asking you: are you in pain right now? Of course, you're laying on some rocks. That's not very comfy. But you had worse, right? Like, I don't know, when you fall on those rocks! I bet it hurts. Are you still feeling the pain? Does it still hurt? Hey, I wonder! If I can erase the pain, will you not be mad at me for scaring you? Won't you throw rocks at me if I … let's say 'heal' you. I don't really want to go into explanations.”
“Please...” Is all you manage to say. Mainly because you're badly hurt, but also because your jaw is broken. That's what you get for trying speleology without reading the manual! And maybe the rope was too short too. And maybe the rock was too hard.
You were trying to fix that hook, like you saw in that movie, but then, something asked you what you were doing, and, startled, you fell from the plateau.
That was a beautiful fall, by the way. Maybe you should have recorded it, and uploaded it on Youtube.

Oh silly you! That's right, you can't really move, since your bones are all broken! That hurts a lot, by the way. Not as much as when your mom caught you drinking beer in the family basement, but it still hurts. Thinking about it, you're wondering how will react your mother, hearing that you disappeared in a hole. Maybe she'll say something like:
“He disappeared? Lock your beer and your daughters!”
Yeah, obviously something like that.

“So, are you decided? Suits me if you decide to become an evil spirit, we're in shortage of them. Rin may pay good price for a new spirit.”
“Who's... Rin?”
“She's taking care of hell, torturing some spirits. Kinda like a caretaker, but more sexy.”
That's right, you remember the building's caretaker. As friendly as a space invader, and as sexy as a bearded woman.
“Please... Help me.”
Wow, your jaw wasn't broken in the end? My bad, I though it was. Fine, let's say your jaw is fine. But talking is still the only thing you can do. In short, you're shut in a cave, with... A GIRL? DEAR GOD, this is a paradise! There's a young girl near you!
Okay, she's blonde, and she's wearing some kind of weird dress, but it's a godamn girl! Quickly, stand up like a man, and show her who you are!

Oh, right. You're broken like a bunch of sticks. You're really useless, aren't you? There's an innocent little girl next to you, and you can't even molest her.
“Did you said 'help me'? Okay then, I'll bring you to the Earth Spirit's master.”
What a sweet little girl, she's probably gonna carry you bridal style, giving you the perfect opportunity to grope her, and then-
“But you're too heavy for me, I'll just drag you like this.”
Taking you by the collar, the girl start walking, still dragging your painful body over the thousands little sharps rocks that are making this cave's ground.

At this point, 'pain' isn't enough to express what you're feeling. You already begged for pardon from God, Allah, Yahveh, and several other gods. And you're obviously not arrived yet. It's even worse, since you're not being dragged in stairs. Aaaaah, if only you were masochist, things would be different, but you don't choose what you are. That's bad, isn't it?

The girl starts singing. For anyone else, it would be a nice song to hear, but for you, it sounds like some kind of horrible and disgusting torture method. It doesn't help that the lyrics are mostly “Ha, haa, ha-ha-ha, haaa”, looking awfully like “HAHAHAHAHA”.

By the time you're finally arrived, you already passed out, thanks to your brain. Okay, he was a little late to understand the situation, but when the pain was too horrible, he decided to disconnect you, and go play a tetris. You should thank him, you know? Thanks to him, you missed some nice pavements, more stairs, and a doormat with “Go away, thank you” written on it.

When your brain finally rage quit from tetris, you're laying, still on the ground. No more rocks, but woods pavements. Your back gonna aches tomorrow. But at least, your bones aren't broken anymore. Maybe it was just a dream after all?
“Hello there.”
Of course it's a dream! Why else would a cat talk to you? It can't be anything else than a dream! Look at this bird! A three-legged raven! It's obviously a dream, hahahaha!
Look here! A little girl with a red thingy attached to her body by some weird thingies! It's a dream! In five seconds, you'll wake up, just in time to watch your daily 'My Little Pony'. And everything will be fine! No more broken bones! No more drag over sharp rocks! No more talking animals! Just close your eyes and think 'it's a dream, it's not real'! Come on, do it!
“It's a dream, it's not real.”
“As it sad me to break your illusion, this is not a dream. This is reality.”
Says the little girls with thingies all over her body. Shut up, dream. You're the dreamer, You're the one who knows what's going on. You're closing your eyes. Open them, and once they're opened, the little girl will be totally naked.
Let's try this. Open your eyes, aaaaaaannnnnnnd... Disappointment. She's still dressed.
“Lady Satori, why are you angry after him?”
Ask the raven. After the talking cat, a talking raven. Logic. Or not. What's next? A chupacabra?
“No, but if you're interested, I have a Mokele-mbembe somewhere.”
Yeah. That's a dream.
“Rin, would you kindly explain him what's happening?”
Hey, open your eyes, because the talking cat is turning into a magical young girl, just in front of you. So open your eyes, you're missing all the fun!
“Utsuho, stay with Rin, and make sure he's not doing anything weird to her.”
Is she implying that you would do something harmful to that cute little girl? QUE NENNI! You just love little girl, they make you feel so good, when they're all around it makes you feel like you're the only guy in town!
“Utsuho, if he tries anything strange, you knock him off, and you being him back to me.”
The “Red-Thingies” girl is still thinking you're weird. You're not weird! You just had a bad day!
Having every bone (except your jaw) broken, being dragged over sharp rocks all the day, and finally witnessing strange transformation would be scary for anything else! You're not weird! They are weird!

Kinda like when you were in summer vacation. Other kids called you weird because you wanted to build a hut in the river. But thinking about it, it was the better place to build a hut, because you were protected against monsters, bunny witch, and other crazy peoples putting rocks in their socks for some strange reason!
Of course, the river was quite deep, and several kids drowned when they tried to build the hut, but it was still a good idea!
“This is wrong on so many level that I don't even know where to start.”
She's confused! Time to attack!

[] Get the hell away from that place! You're healed and stuff, you might be able to run like a cornish game! Whatever that means, it's obviously AWESOME!
[] Surprise attack! Go hide in the... sort of building they brought you in. They'll never look for you if you're hidden under their nose!
[] Kiss her for no reason! She's a little girl, it should be a good reason! If not, she's pretty! It works each time!
[] Convert yourself to satanist! And then molest a virgin because the Devil asked you to do so!
[] Do something stupid and/or funny! (write-in).
[] Ask them about your stuff, where you are, and the usual starting questions.
[] It's a dream! Since it's a dream, you can fly! Try to fly to the exit!


A short story I'm writing on a whim, for the fun. Don't expect regular update, and don't expect it to be serious. In short, don't expect anything.
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[x] It's a dream! Since it's a dream, you can fly! Try to fly to the exit!
This story will fill my expectations. Or not.
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[x] Ask them about your stuff, where you are, and the usual starting questions.
Since we'll be doing stupid things anyway let's at least try limiting them with votes a bit
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[x] Ask them about your stuff, where you are, and the usual starting questions.

Default vote, because im unsure of what our mindset is supposed to be like...
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[X] Ask them about your stuff, where you are, and the usual starting questions.
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[X] Ask them about your stuff, where you are, and the usual starting questions.

Where the heck would Satori get a dinosaur?
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I would fall for this
[x] Ask them about your stuff, where you are, and the usual starting questions.

The girl is still confused! Time to strike! For glory, wealth, shit and giggles! Put yourself together, grab your balls, and ATTACK!! SHOW ME YOUR WAR FACE!
It works pretty fine! She's even more confused! Now it's time to receive answer!
“Where's my stuff? Answer to me, or I'll scream!”
“That's the most ridiculous threat I ever heard. But anyway. Your stuff, as you said, is still on you.”
The enemy tries to confuse you! Don't give in! Don't look at yourself!

And you did it anyway. You fool. You're wearing a yellow suit, very suited for speleology. You also have a lamp, an- who the hell am I kidding?
You're not a speleologist, you're an adventurer! Just like in old legends, you're dressed like an adventurer! You have a whip at your belt, a rope around your chest, and a hat. The hat was completely unnecessary and makes you look like a fool, but it's cool so it's okay! You have large boot, even too big for you, but it's okay, because you can hide in those big boots of you! Like, for example, little rocks! Well hidden indeed! Nobody will ever look in your boots for them! Best hideout ever! If you have to play hide-and-seek one day, you'll obviously hide in your boots!

“Where's my self?”
Fumble on social skill! You can't even speak japanese, you moron! Now the magical girl-cat is confused, just like the three-legged raven, but the “red-thingies” girl is just fine! She's obviously wearing a magical object, granting +5 resistance to nonsense! That, or maybe she can read minds.

She's wearing a magical object, there's no other explanation. Your logical and Cartesian mind cannot accept a mind-reading little girl, so it's obviously a magical object!
“Well, in fact, I'm a sat-”
A magical object. Nothing more.

But yeah, back to the topic. Where are you? In a room, genius. What kind of room is your poor and temporary crazy self? Look like a hall. Underground.

Well, that's a dream, that's not supposed to make sense. Or maybe it's just you. Thinking about that, before putting your nose in this hole, you think you saw a bunny witch somewhere in the wood. You wonder what she's doing now. Probably beating the crap out of people with rocks and socks. Ha ha ha, as if. Silly you, you can't beat people to death with sock. Or maybe yes. You never tried anyway. You should try, someday.
“Lady Satori, why is he undressing?”
“I'm not sure.”
Oh! Right! There are peoples here! They must know where you are! You should ask them, don't you think? Looking at the “red-thingies” girl, you try to speak in some kind of awful language:
“¿Dónde estoy?“
“En mi casa.”
Oooh, so the girl speaks spanish! Good, very good! Too bad you don't know what “casa” means, something tells you it could help. Just like that time in Spain, where you were trying to survive in some kind of Hell. There were demons everywhere, speaking nonsense, like “Hola”, “¿Cómo es el clima?”, or even “¿Por qué estás durmiendo en ese bote de basura?”. Just thinking about it makes you scared.
BACK TO MAIN TOPIC! Where are you? After two unsuccessful attempt, you still don't know where you are. Maybe you should press F1 or something? Call the hotline? Beg Anon for direction? Ask the writefag what to do?

Silly you, you're not a story hero! You can't count on anyone else than you. You are alone, facing a dangerous situation. Dangerous meaning in this case: “being surrounded by two little girls, and a raven”. Very dangerous indeed. If a policeman were to come, he would gladly break your arms off, pull something sharp in your ass, and beat you to death with a gold trophy.
But you're a professional. You have standings. Standing still, standing motionless, for example.
Very good standings, by the way. The latter helped than you faced a saber tooth tiger, 25 years ago, in this museum. Like a hero, you stood motionless for 3 hours, until someone came and took the tiger away.
You were a hero. Even if everyone was repeating “it's a stuffed tiger, you moron”, you were a hero. No, you ARE a hero. You faced many dangers in the past, tax inspector, stepfather, the neighbor’s dog, your own wife. And you're still alive, despite everything! You're a motherfucking hero! You won't die so easily! So, try to figure where you are!
“You are in Old Hell.”
Woaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! D-don't be unfocused! She's playing with your mind! Focus on something! Think about something stupid!
“Lady Satori, why is he running in circle, singing 'paint it black'?”
“I have doubts, but I think he's trying to confuse me.”
DARN, SHE FIGURED OUT! Time to change your tactic, soldier! Now think about a brick wall. There's this wonderful and red brick wall. Think about the brick wall. There's a fly coming near the wall.
“Lady Satori, why is he moving his arms like that? Is he applauding you or something?”
“... Utsuho, this is getting tiresome, can you knock him off and lock him in a guest room, please?”
“I can easily!”

“What the hell is that piece of filthy crappy shit?”
“I wanna have my little girl! Tits, get out of this body right now! I exorcise you!”
“Lady Satori, he's trying to spit on me.”
“Knock him off.”

HP: ??
MP: this is not a RPG, idiot...
Level: you are doing it wrong.
Comment: the raven changed into a girl! This is an accident! You must investigate on that at once! But maybe after the dinner, you're hungry.

The magical evil woman walks to you, and try to punch you in the face! But you're not the godamn Eric, you know how to avoid a punch! Jumping and crouching at the same time, you manage to grae the deadly ubercharged punch!
Or not. Grazing your hair, the punch didn't damaged you, but stunned you. Doing your best to not fall, you don't pay attention to the girl whereabouts. Until she rise her leg, giving you a free pantyshot, and crushing your head with her granite boot.
You lost … some HP, but you're not dead yet! You're almost unconscious, but since that girl gave you a good look of her panties, that means she wants you to get into those panties! This is obviously the only explanation. Either that, either she was dancing at Le Moulin Rouge before it was ruined.
Trying to imitating Bruce Lee in Operation Dragon, you fall on your knees, grabbing both her legs, and you throw them toward the sky- ceiling, I mean.
Too late, you remember that it wasn't Bruce Lee who used that special move, but The Dragon. Don't matter, it worked either way, and the woman completely fails at landing fair, falling head first on the ground, leaving her bottom totally exposed.
Not wasting a single second, you quickly push her dress (she wasn't wearing anything when she was a raven, thinking about this... where did she hid those clothes), you managed to lay a hand on her panties before a fur ball lands- my apologies, crash on your back, scratching everything on sight, “sight” meaning in this case “you poor and bloody back”.

You're not a hero anymore, you're just a guy being defeated by a spitting sharply furball. How could this happen? Who's to blame? There are some, of course, who could be blamed more than other, but if you wanna be frank, if you're looking for the guilty, just look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you're afraid. Who wouldn't be? Magic, mind-reading little girls with red thingy hanging in front of their chest, women changing into raven...

This is just too much for you! There's only one thing to do in this situation!
Use the forbidden magic “Deux Ex Machina”. With this forbidden magic, you can avoid any explanation, and it will give you more time to explain why you tried to molest an innocent raven!

You pass out. Too many events, added to the blood loss, finally defeated your iron will.

When you finally regain your sense, you're in another room. A very nice room, by the room. Look like everything here is made of jewels. If you had a pickaxe instead of a whip, maybe you could gain something nice. Like jewels to trade, for example.
After a while, the door finally open, and the '''mind-reader'''' (you'll have to find another name, because this is impossible to read minds) enters. With a loving, or maybe hating glare, she speaks words of logic.
“Why did you tried to molest my pet?”

[] “I was kinda hungry.”
[] “The last female I saw who didn't tried to kill me was half-eaten.”
[] “I wanted to see if she was really like a woman.”
[] “That was self-defense. Don't blame, that's how I was trained.”
[] “42.”
[] “Obi-Wan Kenobi.”
[] “As it may sadden me to recognize it, my body is still working according to human standards, which means that I'm still moved by my basic needs, like eating, drinking, sleeping, and of course fucking. About this, are you free tonight? What about a pizza-sex evening?”
[] “You're the pet.”
[] “Anon did it!” (write-in)
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It was carried by a swallow!
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>[] “Anon did it!” (write-in)

[x] "If you could read my mind, you'd already know that I have no idea."

So, logically then, she can't actually read our mind. Unless... the question is rhetorical, and she means to draw attention to this fact.

Fucking oracles, how do they work?
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[X] "If you could read my mind, you'd already know that I have no idea."

So is the protag always insane, or is this just a coping mechanism seeing as he(she?) fell down a hole, broke every bone in his(her?) body, and saw a whole bunch of nonsensical things happen, such as magical transformations and defenseless little girls?
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[X] "If you could read my mind, you'd already know that I have no idea."
She's lying right? You thought she was a mind-reader, but she's not?! That's awfully strange! You should make sure before doing something stupid. Like thinking about your sexual habits.
“Can you really read my mind? Because I think you can't. Pussy.”
“I can read your mind. But you're not easy to read.”
“Don't insult me, girl! I has hackers friends! I can call for a pizza and make you pay for it!”
“You see, the human mind is shared in 3 parts. The Id, the Superego, and the Ego. Usually I'm only reading the Ego, others are invisible to me. But with you, the three are talking at once, which means that-”
“BZZZ! Headache!”
“Too much noise.”
“That's better.”
“Could you explain me why you tried to molest my pet?”
Her “pet”? What does she means by that? Pet... Does that means that she's giving them collars, and that she takes them on a walk? You're trying to imagine that girl holding that other busty woman with a leash. The mental picture is awfully ridiculous.
Don't lose your sight! She asked you a question! Focus... What was the question already? Something about bust, panties and girls?
“No, it was about YOU, and why you tried to molest my pet.”
“Well, I don't know. It happened a long time ago. I'm not living in the past. Living in the past leads you to be lonely.”
“It happened 10 minutes ago.”
“JUST 10 MIN-”
“It's past.”
“10 MINU-”
“FINE! I'll just read your mind and figure that by myself, if you're acting like that!”
She's staring at you. Really hard. Like a kid trying to moves things with her mind. In a way, that's cute. In another way, that's creepy. Funny, it reminds you when your buddy Keith tried to sleep in a graveyard after losing a bet. He never told you what happened, but his hair turned white. Thinking about it, his behavior also changed completely. You lost him, after that. You wonder what happened to him. Is he still alive, despite what happened? Or did he died a painful and lonely from the hands of some monster?
Well, you're saying monster, but considering that most of them are looking like little girls, you wonder who's the real monster. It reminds that graffiti you saw several month ago, in a Chinese bathroom. It was written in engrish: “Real monsters are U.S.” You had a good laugh, thanks to that. Especially when you noticed that someone wrote under it: “No, China, YOU ARE THE REAL MONSTER”. And then you added: “And then China was a monster”. Just thinking about that makes you laugh.
“Allow me to ask you to focus on my pet, and especially on your molestation attempt”.
Bestiality is wrong, right? Even if a raven changed into a sexy and busty woman, it's still a raven, right? So doing “this” with a raven is wrong, right? So why did you tried? Were you too excited? Were you too curious? You don't know for sure. There were many reasons.
“Okay, I got it. I can't let you go near my pets.”
No need to be so serious. You're not really interested in pet. But mind-reading little girls, on another hand...
“Don't even THINK about doing it!”
Doing what? Doing 'that' and 'that'? Silly girl, you're the one who thought that!
Your thought were totally pure. The evil girl is the one who turned them into perverted thought! Perverted girl!
“What in hell?! You're the one thinking about that! This is just perverted! Especially for an male adult!”
Hugging girls is fine! There's nothing perverted about that! It's not rape. Or maybe it is? You don't know anymore, your mind is focused about something else: hunger.
“If it's that, maybe I can help you.”
She wants you to eat her? That's nice, but eating little girls is just not good.
“Not at all, but I can bring you something to eat.”
It would be very very nice. Of course, it would be even better if it was beans. With toast. All over the country, from coast to coast. People likes to say 'what do you like most?'. I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast, I always tell them, I like-
“I-I can manage this, I think. Bread is very rare in the underground, but a new recipe like this will be interesting for the whole house.”
“Later then.”
The girl left! You're alone now! Time to run, coward! Find this evil dirty furball, and get revenge for your humiliating defeat earlier! No, wait, living in the past is awful. You don't want to live in the past. Find that furball, and kick her for fun! No revenge in that! Just playing some innocent game, called 'kick the kitty'!
Let's go at once! Once the door is unlocked! Because it's locked! She's not trusting you! That evil girl! She locked you! She thinks you're going to run in that... building, creating chaos for the fun! She's totally right, but she could let you create just a little chaos before locking you! Damn you, girl! Why are so you smart?
Maybe because she can read minds, uh? You guess that makes sense. Just like your own mind is playing tricks on you. For example, you could swear that you saw another girl in this room, and, yet, when you search closely, you don't find anyone else than you.
And yet, you're sure you saw someone else. You must lure her out of her hideout! To achieve this, you have several ways! Scream like a banshee and make her jump out of her skin! Scream like an ork and scare her shirtless -or is it shitless? Scream like a stupid human, making her laugh, allowing you to find her!
Okay, she's invisible or some shit like that, but you KNOW there's someone else. Not a Horla, but a girl! Well, you think it's a girl, because everyone so far was female, and was more or less small!

Time to strike!
[] Scream.
[] Scream.
[] Scream.


Forgot to proofread.
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[x] Scream.
The first one.
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... I was wrong. I'll be choosing the dumbest possible options from now on. Can't go wrong there
[x] Scream.
The shirtless second one.

References! References everywhere! Well I can see you played Irisu Syndrome but try to... oh fuck it you won't listen anyway
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Too late I already reached 20K.
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... not overdoing it? I'll try if it makes you happy, my dear.
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[x] Scream.

Nuff said
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[X] Scream

>'kick the kitty'!
You monster.
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[x] Scream.

It's screaming time! Of course, screaming is an art. There's screaming and shouting. What do you want is screaming! Kinda like showing your war face! That's what you plan to do! You're not shouting after a dog or a kid! You're screaming at an enemy!
Breathing hard, all your cosmos going to your lungs, you scream.
The whole room shakes. The door explodes into pieces. Your shirt too. But that's not important! Well, you kinda failed, since the mysterious girl is still not here, but at least the door is opened! Everything went better than expected!
Leaving the room, you quickly run through the corridor, looking for an exit. You don't want to stay here. There's so many strange things here, even by your standards. So, just saying, but you should keep on running until you're out!

You see a big door. You run to the big door. You crush the big door with a merciless “Shoulder Crush”. It's effective! The door is blown to smithereens! You keep on running, because stopping running would means 'thinking about your current situation' and you don't want this!
You left the building, jump over the stairs, and reach some kind of weirder town. Inhabited by horny peoples. You mean 'horned people', right? Whatever, just don't stop running!
Run to the far land! Run until you reach it!
“He dud stop y rit her.”
Says one of those horned monsters! But you don't have enough time to listen to him, and therefore to understand what kind of horrible language it's using! Looking over your shoulder, you see that he's running after you! And other are joining him as well! What's that, a hunt? Are you some kind of rabbit to chase after? Are they going to eat you once they catch you?
Unfortunately, you're quite tired. On other word, you don't stand a chance against those horny- horned monsters! Unless of course they're drunk, but it's … Okay I take back what I said.
Looking one more time over your shoulder, you can't help but giggle. The first one running after you walked on something, fell on the ground, and the others fell on him as well. If you had a camera, you could take a picture. But all you have is a hat, and a whip.

Finally several minutes of running around, you decided to hide in a so conveniently-placed hot spring. At first, it seemed to be a stupid idea, hiding in a hot bath while being fully clothed, but thinking twice, it's actually quite clever! Nobody will suspect that! Nobody will think you're stupid cunning enough to use suck a clever trick! You're a freaking genius, boy!
Of course, you're slowly boiling to death in this bath, but at least, nobody is running after you anymore. You decide to wait several minutes to be sure. But after 20 secs, you decide that being eaten is better than being boiled alive.
You jump out the bath, trying to sneak into an alley. Alleys are dangerous place, whatever the country, and that's why it's clever to hide in such a place. Everybody will look for you in safe place, and they won't look here ever!

Thinking about it, maybe the hot bath was unnecessary. Bah, you're clean now, that's important!
Well, you were clean, until you bumped into something.
“Look out, you.”
You fall on your ass, in some kind of disgusting barf, while the girl fall against a wall, managing to stay on her feet.
“Watch where you're walking, you...”
What a beautiful girl. She's smaller than you, but she's got a pearly white skin, silver hairs falling on her shoulders, and a wonderful face. Good lord, if you weren't underground, you could swear you're facing an angel. The only problem is that she looks seriously annoyed right now.
“Hey, you're not supposed to see me, you know?”
“Obviously I don't. Because I see you right now.”
“Really? Repeat after me: 'I don't see you, I don't see you', come on, do it.”
“Sounds like a bother. Do not want.”
“All righty then. What about coming back with me?”
“You want me to cum with you? OKAY!”
That was a proposition, right?
“Nooo! I want you to follow me!”
“You want me behind you? Okay.”
“I don't know what's wrong with you. You're worse than me! But if I manage to bring you back, Sister will explain and give me some cake.”
“The cake is-”
“I already know this one. Now don't you want to come back?”
“And now?”
“Okay then.”
What just happened? That girl manipulated you so easily! How could this happen?

Following the girl blindly, you're quickly back into the mind-reader's building. Soon enough to witness an heart-warming display of sisterly love.
“Siis! I'm back!”
“You left five minutes ago. It can hardly be described as 'for a long time', you know?”
“I knoooow! I'm just happy to see you again, siiiis!”
“Did I mention you how much I hate when you call me like that?”
“I forgot!”
“What's this with you?”
She speaking about you. That mind-reading little girl is speaking about you in such rude words.
“Blowing the main door is ruder when referring to you as 'this'. And I have a name.”
She was the on who locked you away in the room. That TINY room. You look at her so sadly, and like a small animal, you say:
“I didn't make too much noise did I, honey?”
“When you screamed like that? You did too much noise.”
“Come on, sis, he was just looking for me.”
“WHAT? You were with HIM in the SAME ROOM?”
Says the mean-looking mind-reader with a name. She's angry. Perhaps. Or not. Or maybe she's bad at showing emotions. Maybe she's happy about that. But she's not showing it.
She's still screaming. Aah, she's soo happy. You're crying manly tears of happiness.
“Sis, don't yell at him, you're making him cry.”
The white-haired girl's col tone seems to calm down the mind-reading girl.
“Koishi, there's some cake in the kitchen. Help yourself.”
Running for the cake, your living shield let you alone in front of an angry mind-reading girl. Or maybe she's still happy.
“Now, listen to me, and closely, because I won't repeat it twice. My name is Satori Komeiji. Do not forget it.”
Your basic japanese skills let you undertand what 'komeiji' means. It means 'little meiji'.
“Totally not what's important. What's important here is my sister. For some strange reason, she's interested in you.”
And you're interested in her too, but perhaps not for the same reasons. While her interest is probably pure and white, yours is... PURE AND WHITE TOO.
“Too late, I read that.”
Crap. You're done goofed.
“Now listen to me. My sister, Koishi, is my important sister. I won't let you corrupt her, or do anything to harm her, got it?”
Corrupt? What does that means? Lending money? She doesn't want you to lend money to her sister? Easily done, since you don't even have money to begin with.
“Okay, that's enough. If you disappear now, Koishi won't be sad, that's all.”

HP: Many.
MP: Maybe...
Level: 4.
Comment: Satori wants you dead, for some strange reason. She's obviously a complete monster who kills peoples, eat babies, and rape virgins for fun! You have to defeat her! But during the fight, she'll summon a level 5 cat, and a level 6 raven if her HP are too low. You must one-shot her! Good luck, and don't be afraid of dying, there's a discount in the mortuary!

[] Attack:
-[] Hand fight the enemy with your bare hand. Martial arts gives you bonuses.
-[] Use WHIP use an object to upgrade reach, rate of fire, and damage. Cannot be used with martial art.
[] Magic:
-[] Confusion Confuse the enemy. It may hit itself in confusion.
-[] Time stop Stop time for 3 seconds, allowing you to enter another command.
-[] Frenzy Anger the enemy, canceling any order or tactic. A frenzied enemy uses only physical attacks.
[] Summon:
-[] Giant Monster Hat Change your hat into a monster.
[] Flee the fight Doesn't work against bosses.
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[x] Summon:
-[x] Giant Monster Hat Change your hat into a monster.
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My bad, I forgot to say: what's you're voting for isn't a command, but a gneral behaviour. Which means that if you vote for only one thing, FAGanon will not try anything else. Au contraire, voting for [summon] and [attack] will have FAGanon trying to punch Satori if he can't summon the GMH.
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[] Magic:
-[] Time stop Stop time for 3 seconds, allowing you to enter another command.
-[] Confusion Confuse the enemy. It may hit itself in confusion.
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[x] Magic:
-[x] Confusion Confuse the enemy. It may hit itself in confusion.

We shall free her from the bonds of common sense.
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[x] Magic:
-[x] Confusion
-[x] Time stop
[x] Summon:
-[x] Giant Monster Hat

She wanna fight? Fine. Time to get quarter-serious! Because someone might get hurt if you're totally serious! Last time you tried, you killed that guy! So no need to be serious for a little girl! Just use your head! You're a freaking genius, guy!
There are some nice tricks you could pull off, you already know that. But they'll need time. Unfortunately, the angry Satori in front of you will probably not let you prepare your dirty trick! So you have to use another dirty trick to use your grand dirty trick!

You think about a raven, and you scream “OH LOOK A CHUPACABRA!” while pointing over Satori's head. Receiving different messages, she freezes. Letting you just enough time to take off your hat, throwing it in the air.
Then, you crouch, and you begin to whisper rapid incantations. Satori understands your plan, and attack you!
Satori uses “THIRD EYE ATTACK”. The world is slowly dissolving into a black and red mess. But you stand firm! You must finish the incantation before the hat touches the ground, or else it won't work!
“Mayeth the Lordeth had mercy on my enemy, because she's gonnath geth her ass whipped for gooth.”
Finishing the incantation just in time, you grab your falling hat, and you slam it to the ground!

But nothing happens. Of course, you're a doctor. Not a summoner. That was stupid from you to even try. No monster, no god. Just you. And that Satori. But thinking about it, it worked fine on Satori. Look at her, she's confused! She even hits herself in her confusion! She's slamming her hand into her face several time! She's losing lot of HP! That's obvious!
Okay, confusion disappeared. Plan B time. What was plan B? Running around imitating a chicken? Let's not do this. What's plan C? Stopping time? Why not?
You look straight at Satori.
“I love you Satori!”
Okay, she freezes again. You have 5 seconds to move. You decide to:

[] Flee.
[] Flee.
[] Flee.
[] Surrender.

“Okay, so what now? I can't even let you two together?”
The white-haired angel is here again. With a mouth full of sugar. Watch out for diabetes, girl. You should have some insulin near.
Looking at her sister in disbelief, the white-haired girl keeps speaking:
“Really, Sis, you should trust people more. Just because he's crazy doesn't means he's dangerous.”
“I can't read his mind. Nor can you. He can't even read his own mind. Therefore he's a danger for everyone, including himself.”
“And how do you want to fix that? By killing him?”
“I do not plan to fix that. He's a human. Humans aren't us.”
“Aaaaaw, come on Sis. He's interesting at least.”
“You do not see him as a human, do you? The only thing interesting you in this human is his madness.”
“Yep! You see, I scouted him earlier, after I opened my third eye for a bit. He wasn't crazy to begin with! He became insane after.”
“I still fail to see how it's concerning us.”
“You're not curious?”
“Not at all.”
While the sisters are talking, you're preparing a new cunning plan to establish your new dominion over this strange building. While picking your nose. Yes, it's possible to pick your nose while making up perfect and cunning plan!
You can't help but think that somewhere, someone is speaking about you. But why should you bother about that? It's not like they're planning to kill you!
“In short, let me kill him!”
“Sorry, Sis, he's funny. Let me keep him for a while.”
“... Fine. But if he does something to you, I'll order Utsuho to beat him to death, and then I'll order Orin to torture him for a endless eternity.”
“Excuse me?”
You gain the Evil Sisters' attention! Watch your language, or you may die a painful and horrible death!
“Endless eternity is a pleonasm.”
“Your conclusion, Koishi?”
“He's right. It's a pleonasm.”
“I'm not talking about that.”
“I'll go, see ya later!”
“No, wait!”
The white-haired girl is moving out. You decide to follow her. Because she's pretty. And because it gives you a good excuse to avoid being with this homicidal maniac Satori.
You're fattening up, you know? You should run, just in case. Losing useless weight, gains more muscle. You never have enough muscle. And even if you're tired, being chased by an angry girl armed with a red thingy is a good motivation. It's not like she's dangerous, but you don't really want to check if she can harm you. She possibly can, because earlier she changed the world.
Speaking about that, you're still seeing the world in red and black tone. Is that normal? You don't really care. The only important thing is following the white-haired girl. Nothing else is important.

Why do you want to follow the white-haired girl? You don't know. But it has to be important, since it's in the script. Well you think it's in the script. You couldn't read it before. You should ask God to let you read your life's script. Could be interesting. Or not. Whatever You should really stop with that metaphysical crap. You're not good with that. Especially when your logic is to evaluate your chance to kill the person facing you. Happens every time. Perhaps you're paranoid or something. Perhaps you just want to kick asses. Or perhaps you're a dumbass who's using too many 'perhaps'. Doubt and regrets lead to an awful life. Don't forget this, maggot. Never look back. Right now you're following a girl for some reason, and she's leading you to a remote place. If you were some kind of predator you would pounce her right now and have your way, but you're curious. Besides, pouncing little girls is animal-like. No, it's better to flirt before.

Wait a minute, when did you decided to flirt before sleeping with a girl? Fives minutes ago? That's a good answer. Come on now, commodore! This road will not walk itself over!
“Wat ar yoo doin dud?”
Oh, there's a sentry. Not letting you pass. You try a basic approach.
“Can I pass?”
It's time to use another tactic. Because there's an horned guy guarding this... hole in the wall. The white-haired girl left here, so you have to pass too. But there's this party-pooper guy.

What to do?
[] Remove the sentry.
[] Sweet talk.
[] Bribe him with:
-[] WHIP.
-[] HAT.


04:31 AM. Tired as fuck. Too tired to proofread. Apologies. No good picture. Not my computer. Fucking dog makin noise when I try to sleep. Think it's Slenderman each time. Shit ain't scary during the day. Different at night. heard something outside. Gonna check. Back soon.
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[X] Sweet talk.

Let's show that big ol' brute our sensitive side.
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[x] Remove the sentry.
Let none stand in our path!
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Also, the sentry we're talking about DOESN'T look like that AT ALL.
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[x] Remove the sentry.

Not taking "no" for an answer.
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There\'s a fly in my room
[x] Remove the sentry.

Hell no! You're not going to be stopped by an horned sentry! For you, it doesn't matter if this sentry is a human, a demon or a god! You'll crush it like an insect! Pointing over the sentry's shoulder, you scream:
“Hey what's that?!”
Surprised, the sentry shows you his back. Critical error! In a flash, you take your whip from your belt and, holding it like a rope, you jump on the horned guy, strangling him with your whip.
“Aaargh, disgutin sneeky caowhard!”
He moves and moves, trying to crush you against the wall, trying to throw you on the ground, but you hold him tight, and, breath after breath, he loses consciousness and fall on the ground. You keep the whip in place for several minutes, to be sure he's not acting. Then, you listen. He's breathing!
He's still alive!
Putting your whip back to your belt, you grab his neck with your left hand, his chin with your right hand, and you tuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn.
Yeah. Like this, he won't be a bother anymore. You successfully removed him! Congratulations! You decide to let the body here. He'll be discovered soon enough, but that doesn't matter. You're probably not supposed to be able to pick a fight with one of those horned guy to begin with, so nobody will suspect you!
Anyway, you've done playing, you now have to follow this cute little girl! She obviously went this way, so just follow her and it'll be fine!

Heeeeyyyy, niiiice! You found a city! An underground city! It could be beautiful if you could see the sky! You don't know why, but you miss the sky! The blue sky. You gave it a name, do you remember? You called it Mister Blue Sky, like in that song! You miss it! But whatever, don't bother about the pass! Look in front of you! Never look up, never look down! Walk to your destination!

Walking in the city, you can't help but think about the past. You found yourself lost somewhere in Spain, totally alone. Following your guts more than anything else, you decided to walk to Asia. After weeks of walking under the sun, you saw more horrible things than you ever wished to. In the end, you decided to travel by night. Only to learn that night is worse than day.
After weeks, you forgot everything. Your name, who you were, what you were doing. You were first scared by this, but with time, you decided to give up on everything who could describe you as “human”. You gave up on intelligence, following only your intuition. And it kept you alive so far. But alone.
And now, everything's different. Your intuition tells you to be with this girl. Maybe she can help you, or maybe she'll be your demise. All you know is that she's important to you. Not in a physical sense, even if you would like to find a suitable woman here, but rather in a psychical sense.
Of course, your mind is a complete mess -sometimes you're aware of that, but often you don't care-, but you're still driven by your will to live. If you must reject logic to live, then you'll reject logic. If you must reject reality to live, then you'll reject reality.
Anything to be alive. It could be your credo if you weren't so focused on the immediate situation.

And the immediate situation is: you're more or less following a strange girl, sometimes as visible as your own nose, and sometimes totally invisible. You have to be careful anytime to not lost view. Losing her is unacceptable. That's why you watch her, very closely.
Closely enough to notice that she's stealing from shops she's visiting. You don't really care, since it's not your shop, but it is indeed a strange fact. Looking at her house-or-building-or-whatever-the-hell-it-is, you though that she was rich. Does she really have to steal to live? Or is she doing that on a whim?

Screams. Desperate screams. Angry screams.
There's something wrong. Something terribly wrong.
THIS IS AN UNEXPECTED SITUATION! You must investigate at once, so let's go!
Leaving the shop, you walk to the source. There's a crowd of horned people. They are strange, but 'strange' is becoming 'usual' really fast with you.
Sneaking in the crowd, you hear voices speaking.
“Hez dead forivair!”
“Ow coul tis happen?”
“It has to be tat satori up heer!”
Oh wow. Really bad. They're suspecting Satori. Maybe you should explain them that she can't do that kind of- BWAHAHAHA who are you kidding? You don't give a damn about Satori! She's hostile toward you for not reason! She's a past person! You shouldn't bother with people living in the past! They are all crazy, hugging dead kids while repeating 'it'll be okay, it'll be okay'. You already faced several before! They aren't good at all! The only thing you can do for them is shortening their suffering by shooting them in the head!
Well, you're thinking that, but you were unable to kill anyone! All you did was leaving them to die, you COWARD! Do you EVEN deserve to live after THAT?
Well, you did your best to survive. You should be proud of that. Even when everyone else was mad or despairing, you were still here, fighting death with all your strength! And you won, since you're still alive!

You survived more than this. And you're going to survive this! Even while the crowd is running to Satori's palace, you follow them without even thinking! Good! Wait, not good! They're reaching the main door! It's time for you to slow down, leaving them fixing their problems.

Times passes. Grass grows. Trees too. And you? You're running. You should have seen this coming. First, the mob went after Satori, and then they raided the mansion, while Satori and her pets managed to escape. You decided to not give a damn about that, so you returned in town, only to discover that the white-haired girl disappeared too. Half-panicked, you investigated, to find her trapped in some kind of complicated device. Like a mouse trap, but less deadly and more humiliating. You're not going to describe what you saw.
After breaking the trap, the girl, oblivious to you, continued walking around, sometimes taking this or this from shops. And then, the horned guys came back, and they saw both of you, raiding the town. Saying that they overreacted would be an understatement. They chased you.

Result of this? You're now lost in some cave. Terrible memories including your sorry back and lot of sharps rocks are looping in your head. But you decide to NOT GIVE A FUCK. You're a MAN, not a whimpy wimp.

But even a man like yourself needs to establish a plan before going further. So let's review the situation. You're lost. You don't have any source of light. You're in a lost cavern. Maybe you could even consider this place as a labyrinth. Thankfully, you still have your hat and your whip.

[] Light is more important. Find it first.
[] Find something to eat.
[] Find the girl first.
[] Find Satori to assist her. HAHAHAHA no.


Edited it a little bit. Still haven't got enough time to do a complete proofread. Dammit. Story gets dark from now on. Can change. In both sense. Choose wisely.
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[x] Find the girl first.
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[x] Find the girl first.
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This is what whip are for
>same vote twice
>only 1h24 between them
>no comment
>no "what happened?"
Update will be coming tonight.
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I didn't think additional information was necessary. not sure about the other guy though.
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Update is delayed. For many reasons. I'm not going to turn this thread into a blog, so to be short, I'm waiting to see how the wannabe-banwagon on /th/ will turn out.

Have this cute picture of Koishi to help you.
Haaa, Koishi, you are so cute.
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Just quit while you're behind over there on /th/.
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You really don't have to wait. You're welcome to get out and never come back any time. Y'know, as long as it's soon.
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Your head
[x] Find the girl first.

What are you? A coward? No! You're a MAN! You don't even have to hesitate! You DECIDE! You will find this girl again! You don't know why, but it must be important, so you WILL do so! Heard that?!
So GO!

You know what? Mister Headache wants to remind you that you're lost in a dark cave, with no sense of direction. In short, you don't know if you're standing or lying.
Find a solution. Quickly.

You remember what your father told you the first time you went to work.
“Don't screw up, asshole, because I'll kick you from the house if you get fired!”
No, not this one! The other thing he told you!
“If, one day, you're too drunk to figure if you're facing the sky or the ground, piss on yourself. Gravity will tell you what you're facing.”
Thank you Dad! You were always a drunkard, but you gave some good tips!
Okay, so you're facing the sky. It really helps! But now you're wet and cold. You must find this girl quickly, and start a fire somewhere, or you'll catch a cold.

After hours walking totally randomly, you understand something crucial.
You're lost. Perhaps walking totally randomly isn't a good idea. You must prepare a cunning plan. Or a way out. Both are fine.
It's time to use an old famous spell.
It should work. After all, you screamed loudly enough to-
“He's here!”
Attract even horned peoples here. Fuck. Whatever you plan to do, you should decide pretty quickly. Because if those guys coming after your ass are really horned, your long and strange life will end very soon.
But, running is cowardly! What are you? You are a MAN! Look at me in the eyes! You are a motherfucking MAN! No, you're more than a man! You're a hero! You will fight for freedom, peace, and cheese!
“You're safe, wonderful! Lady Satori wants to see you!”
Oh, it was just a pet. Too bad, since you were ready to FIIIGHT!

Perhaps fighting was the best idea after all. Facing that mind reading Satori girl is almost frightening. Not as scary as throwing a billboard on a teacher, but still... Funny, it reminds you something who happened a long time ago, where your buddy Watson asked you to throw a cutter to a teacher. You don't remember if you really did it. But you remember that Watson was arrested two weeks later. Thinking about that, you never saw that teacher again. Did he-
“HEY! Pay attention to me!”
Satori is angry. You wonder why. Does it have something to do with the fact that you followed her sister while she was kicked out from her own house? Being kicked from somewhere must be a traumatic experience, you know what you're talking about. While you were studying biology in university, you were kicked out your room by a bunch of drunkards. But the worst came later, when you discovered that they puked everywhere, even in your bed, but also because they stole all your porno mgazines! What a bunch of bloody bastard!
“Yeah, right, but what about those onis? Do you know why they were so angry?”
Onis? What is that? Is it edible? Does it taste like marshmallow?
“Let's say the horned peoples.”
Oooh, so those horned guys are called 'Onis'? Sounds cool. Back then, in Europe, they would be called 'Chernabogs'. Not that it really matters, but-
“Why are they angry?”
You don't know, do you? You think it has something to do with butterflies flying all around. Or maybe with jewels.
“...Fine, you can go.”
You wonder what she's going to do now. She lost her mansion, she lost everything. Except her pets.
“That's very nice from you. I guess I'll stay underground.”
Why staying underground? But there's no sun underground, therefore it's stupid! Besides, there are onis down here. And they're not good for health. Especially if they decide to go chaos after your ass. Not that you mind about running after her ass, but you know-
“I can't leave the Underground.”
She says nonsense. Maybe she's crazy? Is she more shocked than you thought at first? Maybe she's acting like she's not really affected, but, truth to be told, she's traumatized?
“It's just a deal. We don't go to the Surface.”
And why is that? Because stuff happens, grass grows, and you, you're looking for something.
“Because we were banished from the Surface by humans and youkais alike.”
If it's just that, it can be fixed. After all, you didn't saw lot of youkais (whatever they are) while you were walking. And about human.. Well the last human being you saw was in China. And he was completely crazy. You don't think they will be troublesome. In short, you think she can go to the surface. Nobody will complain. Nobody can complain, in fact. Because they're all dead. Well, not all, but you really wanna see other peoples. Hornless one, if possible.
“What's this on your pants?”

[] Let's go to the Surface! You don't know how, but you will lead them to a better life! Because, truth to be told, Satori is a awfully pale! And her sister isn't better! In fact, you wonder if they are vampires or something!
[] Change your pants before.
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>If, one day, you're too drunk to figure if you're facing the sky or the ground, piss on yourself.

[x] Change your pants before.
Not sure how or with what, but better than smelling later
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[x] Let's go to the Proofreader! You don't know how, but you will lead them to a better update! Because, truth to be told, this post is a awfully terrible! And the last one isn't better! In fact, you wonder if they are unedited or something!
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[x] Change your pants before.
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There is no proofreader
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[x] sage Hartmann's shit
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Meanwhile in Eientei
[x] Change your pants before.

“Okay, then I'll show you the surface!! But before that I need to buy new pants!”
You show your back to Satori. You need other pants, and there's only one place to buy them! The city you just left!
“Hey, hold on, where are you going?”
Buying new pants, why else? That's so obvious, and you though she was a mind-reader, hahaha what a joke!

After several minutes of walking in darkness, fives headaches, and a little crying about world's cruelty, you finally found the horned people's city. For some reason, you remember something about this city. You can't remember it yet... Bah, it'll come later.
Walking in the streets, you finally find a pants shop. Called “Fancy Pants”. Look like those horned guys can joke sometimes, hey?
You enter in the shop, take a pant randomly, and you left. Just in time to hear the seller saying:
“Dud, I hav vission cause Imma sure I saw an humen comin an taikin somtin.”
Yes, he's hallucinating. Obviously. There's only one human here, and he's in your pants.

After more minutes, more headaches, and a big crying about how hard a rock can be, you're facing Satori again. For some reason, she's hiding her face with both her hands. You don't know if it's what they call a “facepalm”, or if it's because you're half-naked in front of her. You knew you forgot to take some underwear with the pant.
Being ready again, you wait for Satori to remove her hands from her face. After one hour, you decide to ask her nicely if she can stop hiding her face.
“Are you presentable?”
Is what she said. Presentable? Well, you're not shaved, your hairs are sticky and disgusting, your skin is dark from all the dirt you walked in, your breath could kill a bear, and your teeth are white. And let's not talk about your nails, black and probably as dangerous as a bacteriological weapon.
“Okay, okay, I got it.”
You wonder if you should wait for her sister.
“She'll follow us by herself. Let's go before I change my mind.”
She's pretty optimistic. She doesn't think you would drag her along by the collar if she's not okay with your decisions.
Fine, then, let's go!!

To where? Where is the way out?
“I knew it. All right, let me try something. Orin, can you bring Yamame here? Bring Utsuho with you, please.”
Without answering, the cat fly away, followed by the raven. You're alone with Satori. All alone with a little girl. Goood.
“Why are you that interested in me?”
Besides the fact she's pretty? That's because she needs help. You've been alone for a while, and yet, helping people is still some kind of pavlovian reflex.
“You've met other human before, right? With not them?”
Mainly because they're weren't as pretty. And almost because they tried to kill you to steal your water, or your food. That's a pretty dangerous world here, Satori.
“And what about my sister?”
You don't really know. There's something telling you to follow her. Like a good little dog. Maybe she can help you? But how exactly? You don't know. And do you care? HA HA HA HA no.
“Fine. I give up. I'll follow you for a while, since you know the Surface better than me.”
You're pretty sure that ANYONE knows the surface better than her.
“Hell with that.”

After a while, the two pets came back with a giant spider. You don't remember anything after that. Some peoples hates snakes, other hates spiders. That was just no luck. You fainted like a pussy. But you just hate spiders.
When you're back to your sense, you're facing the sky. Your first reaction is to scream in joy, rip off your hat in happiness, kiss the ground, piss on the dirt, and keep screaming.
After you're calmed down, you notice that Satori is waiting quietly for you to be calmed down. That's very nice from her.
You wonder what she wants now.
“Well, you know where you're going, right?”
YES! Let's walk to this nice forest!
“... Nevermind.”
And the whole party begin walking, toward a new and bright future.

“Maybe you can explain me, but I though there was... more peoples like you living here?”
You wonder how long she was living underground.
“Something like... 300-400 years?”
Oh. Makes sense then.
“What do you mean?”
She doesn't knows that mankind disappeared almost entirely. You though she could read your mind and make it clear, but-
She grabs your arm. While you're really appreciating a girl's contact, the fact that she's squeezing your arm really hard worries you a little.
“What happened?”
You don't know. You weren't here. It happened a long time ago. 200 years ago to be accurate.
“But what happened back then?! ANSWER ME!”
Well, to be short, mankind disappeared. You don't really know how, according to some survivors, it was either Zalgo or Lavos. So you don't know for sure, because you're pretty sure that Lavos never existed to begin with. You're not really sure about Zalgo.
“Hold on. So what are you going to do?”
Well, other survivors talked about a haven somewhere in Japan, so you're kind of looking for it.
“... In short, you're alone, you don't know what you're doing, you don't have any plan, any food, anything. How did you managed to survive that long?”
Good question, girl. Unfortunately, you have a headache starting from now on, so you can't think anymore. Just walk, it'll disappear.
“... What am I got myself into?”
Says the girl. You call that adventure.

[] While walking, ask Satori several questions, about her, her sister, her pets, her sister, her parents, and also her sister.
[] Ask for her opinion about you in a cocky way.
[] Confess your sick attraction for little girls.


Basic proofreading. Too hot to proofread it for real. Picture is important. Pay attention to it. Meta-knowledge. Don't use it. But be careful.
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[x] While walking, ask Satori several questions, about her, her sister, her pets, her sister, her parents, and also her sister.
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[x] While walking, ask Satori several questions, about her, her sister, her pets, her sister, her parents, and also her sister.
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[X] While walking, ask Satori several questions, about her, her sister, her pets, her sister, her parents, and also her sister.

>> mankind disappeared
>> Icon of Sin
>> Lunarians somewhere around Eintei besides the regular residents

The Lunarians opened a portal to DooM hell.

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[x] While walking, ask Satori several questions, about her, her sister, her pets, her sister, her parents, and also her sister.

Walking, walking, walking.
Can be quite boring, isn't it? You should find a way to pass time.
What about talking with Satori?
“Hey Satori?”
“Yes. Even more than that.”
“Yes, I'm younger than you think.”
“Logical stuff is logical. And about your sister-”
“She's after us. Don't worry about her. She's more or less like that.”
“Do you know that Dulahan-”
“Yes, but you can't notice her, even if she's standing in front of you.”
“And then I saw that woman-”
“Yes, I had lots of pets. Most of them will be fine without me. I hope, at least. I really had to give up on everything I had.”
“Do you plan to be sad soon?”
“Sad? Why? Will it be useful?”
“Humans do that usually-”
“I'm not human.”
“Nonsense. You look like a girl. Therefore, you are a girl.”
“And I'm telling you I'm not human.”
“I encountered someone in Spain who said the same thing. I opened him up, and I watched closely. He was fully human.”
“You... opened him up?”
“Yes. Maybe I don't look like it, but I'm a doctor!”
“... Yeah, right.”
“True story. About your sister-”
“Don't even think about doing that to her. I won't let you.”
Now this leaves you speechless. 15 minutes ago, you wouldn't take that for a threat. But when she squeezed your arm, you noticed that she's stronger than she looks. You have to be careful. You don't understand it for now, but that girl is only looking human.
But you will never admit it. Since you started traveling, you avoided many horrible deaths from strange-looking creatures several times. If you learned that the one walking near you is that kind of creature, your sanity will probably go on a holiday, joining her friend Common Sense, on the island of I Don't Give A Fuck.

Of course, she's followed by a magical girl raven and a magical girl cat, but you can shrug it off by saying that the lack of oxygen gave you vapor for brain.
The fact that you're no longer underground won't let you use the same excuse again, so you can't witness any other strange event like this one.

But it's sure boring around here.
Hey, Satori.
“About my parents?”
Totally absolutely fully yes.
“I never knew them.”
Bad stuff does happen sometimes then.
“And yours?”
You supposed she could read minds! Why is she asking?
“To focus your attention on that, and also because it's polite to ask instead of just reading you.”
That's very nice from her. Of course, you're still very careful about pissing that little girl off, but at least you're assured that she's polite and stuff.
“And what about you?”
You don't remember. Of course, you had parents, but you don't remember them very well. Have you saw them, once in your life? You don't remember. Maybe yes. Maybe no.
Maybe they're thinking you're dead. Maybe they're happy. Maybe they're sad. Maybe they're dead too. Maybe they didn't even known you existed to begin with. The only people you respect was that blonde woman. After all, it's all thanks to her that you decided to become a doctor. Or is it your imagination? Your head is a total mess. No, wait, you had parents, right? And your father was disappointed in you because you weren't a doctor! But you ARE a doctor! So why the hell was he complaining? Was it because you were single? No, it was about something else. Was it related to your mother? Was it related to an Oedipal complex?

You are lost.
You mean, really lost. If it was correct, you should use the word “loster”. Or even “lostest”. You are utterly, completely, and perfectly lost.
Of course, walking around without paying attention was the perfect way to get lost.
Of course! It's all Satori's fault!
Because she asked you about your parents, you were lost in your head, and you lost the path! Oh, yeah, there aren't any path to begin with, but...
“Hey, HOLD ON, you're the one leading the way, if you don't know the way, say it instead of getting us lost!”
Don't try to avoid a blame, little girl! It's her fault, and yet she's blaming you! What a nerve!
You walk to her, with the displayed cunning plan to slap some sense in her, but the raven and the cat are in your way. When you try to push them off, they transform in their girls form again, displaying a threatening look in their face, the kind of “don't-you-fucking-touch-my-master”.
Of course, you can't appreciate the show, since you're too busy smashing your head against a tree, repeating “it's an hallucination, an hallucination, that can't be real, that can't be real”.
That's not very mature, but at least you don't have to explain how a raven can turn into a busty woman, with a bust large enough to kill a man.

After 25 smashes, an impressive blood loss, and a good crying about general insanity, you're ready again. But you're still lost.

[] Ask Satori to send one of her pet to scout.
[] Scream. Maybe someone will come to help you. Of course, it'll probably be hostile, and it'll be after your blood, since your face is kind of bloody right now.
[] Keep smashing your head against Mister Tree. That won't resolve anything, but at least, you won't have to look for a solution.


Now that you say it, I want to write something like that, but there's already a Doom story here, so no. Too bad, you had a good idea.

Also, yeah, but this story is linked with my other stories so far. However, I won't tell you WHEN it happened, nor HOW this story is linked with the others. You'll have to figure that by yourself. Just like MC's insanity.
Pic is unrelated this time. I'll edit this post if I find a pic of a guy smashing his head against a tree while Satori is watching.
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[X] Be random!

It's random, but not random enough. Maybe there'll be tits!
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Forgot my pic!
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[X] >>6874
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Write-in isn't accurate enough. Please precise how random you want to be, or choose another vote.
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[x] Scream. Maybe someone will come to help you. Of course, it'll probably be hostile, and it'll be after your blood, since your face is kind of bloody right now.
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not a meme

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[x] Ask Satori to send one of her pet to scout.
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[x] offer your hat up to the hat gods. maybe they'll give you one of those cool looking hats. You know, the ones in movies.
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[] Ask Satori to send one of her pet to scout.
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Random random. That's how random I want it.

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2 votes for random stuff, 2 votes for sending a pet as a scout. If there's no more vote, I'll decide the winning vote by throwning a coin.

You forgot that our good doctor ripped his hat into pieces when he left the underground.
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>>6887 Yeah, I know. I was hoping he'd offer the scraps up so he can get a new one. You know, from the hat gods.
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Update was deleted. Mainly because I don't like it. I will rewrite it, and fix several things.
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Huh? You didn't like it? But they're always kind of bad, don't see what would've been so much worse with this one.
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Satori's reaction was out of character, and MC wasn't random enough.
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[x] Ask Satori to send one of her pet to scout.

You should use your basic military training. Of course, you're not really a soldier, but you did have a basic training.
Watching you, she answers without letting you explain your idea.
“I see. Interesting. Rin, you were here before, right? Can you go check, and take Utsuho with you? This world seems dangerous.”
The hallucination-cat-girl answers:
“Are you sure you want to stay alone with him?”
“I'm not in danger myself. He's the one being in danger.”
You're really pissed off by the way she talks about you. It's like you're not here. Or rather like you're some kind of slug unable to talk. But you're not a slug! Okay, you drool a lot when you're sleeping, but that doesn't mean you're a slug! It just means you're enjoying your sleep!
Wait, what were you thinking before thinking about slugs and stuff? Ah, yeah! You were idling with Satori, waiting for her pets.

“So... Weather's fine, isn't it?”
“I don't know. I haven't been outside for more than 400 years.”
“Well, yeah.”
Dang. Don't speak about the landscape. Speak about something she might know.
“Do you what 'suck the head' means?”
Congratulations, fool. Think again. She said something earlier who might help you.
“Your pet, the cat, was here before?”
“Yes. She used to come here, for business. Well, before I get kicked from my mansion.”
“She visited the overworld often, and yet you didn't know about that... mess?”
“She wasn't coming here for news.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Hrrrm. You should try to say something, that silence is unbearable. And that sun is getting really hot, you should go under a tree, since you destroyed your hat, idiot.

Following you like a little dog, Satori still doesn't say anything. She's waiting for you to make the first move.
“What do you eat for dinner, usually?”
“Lady Satori!”
THAT FUCKING CAT! You finally found the guts to say something, and that cat cut you! Shit, crap, and POOP!
“Hello back Orin. What did you found?”
“The Shinto Shrine is still here, Lady Satori!”
“Shinto what?”
You ask, but everybody is ignoring you. You were the leader, and now you're the underling. You don't like this. You must regain your leader position, at all cost!!
“Yeah, Lady, the one where the miko was!”
“Oh, I see. Is it empty?”
“Don't know, sorry! There was a barrier all over the place, but it's all worn out, so I suppose there's nobody here!”
“All right, we'll go here then.”
“Wanna me to carry you, milady?”
“No need for that Orin. I can fly by myself.”
Haha, d-did she said “fly”? Yes, you think you heard her saying “fly”. Does that means she's going to fly? But that's impossible! Unless there's another force balancing gravity, it's impossible to fly! No, that's it! You just lost too many blood! That's why you're hearing things! Hahaha, that was just that, haha, silly you, you were scared for a while, just because this nice little girl was-
No longer here. Where is she? Did she disappeared? Or was she NEVER HERE to begin with?!
Your poor mind will collapse if you can't make sense of what's happening to you!
Oh, wait, she's just flying away. Silly you, you were almost panicked. Ha ha, silly you.
Hold on, did you said “flying”? Because I think you said “flying”!!
You scream in panic. That doesn't help, but you feel a little better for screaming. Even like that, it's still not enough, and you're still a little panicked. You decide to have a little nervous breakdown before night falls.

After rolling on the floor, crying and tearing what's left of your hat apart, you're finally calmed down. Again. You should really make up a better excuse for the next time you're going to witness a strange event.
Anyway, you're calmed down, your composure is back too, so you decide to walk where Satori disappeared. After all, if there are other humans, it'll be good for your mental balance to speak to someone unable to fly or over non-logical stuff like that.

After a little walk through a dense forest (you wonder if you can call this a jungle), you reach some kind of path. You're not sure about the path thingy, since it looks totally abandoned. Still, you think that someone used it recently. Or else it wouldn't be here to begin with. Anyway, you decide to follow the path, hoping it will lead you either to a shelter, either to easy food.
Hey, what do you know, you find stairs! And a big red thingy on top of them! You think you saw one of those things in a tv show. You don't know how it's called, but you know it looks awesome.
Walking under it, you see a poor lame wood kind-of-house. The building looks really lame and awful. You see several holes on the roof, and the front is covered in moss. If someone lived here, cleaning and taking care of the building wasn't his first priority. But you think you can understand that, considering the actual situation.
Whatever, standing here like a moron won't change the actual situation, and statu quo isn't acceptable. So, move from where you are, and do something useful for once!

Wait, why are you putting those hat pieces into that wooden box? Are you trying to sacrifice it to gain something from some god? You don't even believe in god, you moron! Just stop that nonsense, and go in the building! What, you're scared? Nonsense. Move your ass and enter.
It's even worse when you're in. From the outside, you could see how old the building was. But now that you're in, you can enjoy the smell. Smells like “rotten old wood shelter N.5” for you. The building is strangely organized. You entered by the main door, placed behind the strange wooden box. Result is, you're now in a damp room. Roof are really important for a building. You never believed it before, but now you know. Raising your eyes, you see a big hole in the hole. And also several hanging things.

Okay. Calm down. Of course, those things look human, but maybe they're not. Maybe they're just decorations? Maybe they're not people hanged by their feet? Maybe it's just to scare you?
Your hands start shaking. You watch them coldly. There's fear in your body, who needs to get out, doesn't matter how. Luckily, your hands start shaking, allowing your head to stay cool. This is no time to panic or fool around. There are those things hanging, and you have to determine if they're living or not. The best idea is of course to poke them with a stick.
It's not answering, but it's moving. Is it sleeping? Something like that. You can't be sure. Bah, at least, it's living. You have a pretty good theory of who is there. And you also have a pretty good theory of what will happen if you don't find a way out. Of course, before they realize you poked their sleeping bodies with a wet broom.

Have you heard that? There's something behind you. NO, no, turn no back. Don't look behind you. Listen carefully. Can you hear it? It's like...

[] There's no noise at all!
[] “Tap, tap, tap”.


Rewrote it. Still not perfect, but the day I can write something perfect, I will be able to die without regrets. Anyway, since there are differents options, think deeply before voting, since each option will bring a different character.
And don't expect Reimu. Seriously, don't.
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[x] "Vroom! Vroom! Honk! Honk! Hey what the- BOOM!" Wait... you don't hear anything!
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[x] “Tap, tap, tap”.
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[x] There's no noise at all!
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[] There's no noise at all!
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[x] “Tap, tap, tap”.
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So, yeah. There's two votes for the tappity thingy, and two votes for the silent thingy.

And one vote for... introducing a car youkai?
Well, what do you know, I guess I'll roll a dice.
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[X] "Vroom! Vroom! Honk! Honk! Hey what the- BOOM!" Wait... you don't hear anything!
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[X] "Vroom! Vroom! Honk! Honk! Hey what the- BOOM!" Wait... you don't hear anything!
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[X] "Vroom! Vroom! Honk! Honk! Hey what the- BOOM!" Wait... you don't hear anything!
-[X] If that doesnt work, or if it does, whip it out.
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Vote called for the write-in.
Please wait warmly until it's ready.
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Think you forgot your trip.
>“If, one day, you're too drunk to figure if you're facing the sky or the ground, piss on yourself. Gravity will tell you what you're facing.”
This single line makes this the best story I've read on here by far, And you should feel great for it.
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[X] "Vroom! Vroom! Honk! Honk! Hey what the- BOOM!" Wait... you don't hear anything!

There's a loud noise. Like if someone who never drove in real life just tried. You're not sure how, but you know that there's an accident. Maybe people are wounded. You're a doctor, you should go help!
Or not. There's no other humans here. Which means that this accident was only including monsters that you're trying to avoid at all cost. You should act like you didn't hear anything. That's it! You're deaf!

“Don't go there, fool, there's a hole!”
“Tell me that sooner!”
More noise. Look like they went in the hole this time.
“Shit, it's burning!”
“Get away!”
BOOM. You're pretty sure that's what happen if your car is burning.

You. Don't. Hear. Anything. Even better, you're going to leave this place very soon! There are people monsters coming, and you don't want to be found!
But, damn, there's those guys hanging from the ceiling like ham! You should help them somehow! Sure, you don't know them, and you're pretty sure they never did anything to help you. But it doesn't matter! You're a hero! You can't be a cynical bastard!
Or can you? Can you be cynical while being a hero? You're pretty sure you can, but your brain fails at imagining the result. Your brain is just plain retarded, you should throw it away.
Using your whip, you try to pull the cocooned people back to the ground.

Of course, now that you've done it, you know that it was a stupid idea. Sure, you brought them down, but you broke the frame. Which means that the whole building is collapsing around you.
Nice job breaking it, jackass. Luckily enough, you're not hurt. You're not sure about the people you “rescued”. One of them is bleeding badly from a wound on her face. But not, you recognize them! It's Satori and her pets! The magical raven girl, and the magical cat girl. There's also two other girls you don't know, one with strange dog-looking ears, and the other being totally unknown to you. She's wearing a track suit, and you find that rather disturbing. She's obviously one of those cannibals monsters, and yet she looks totally defenseless.
Of course, being crushed by a collapsed building can ruin anyone's day. And everyone looks cute when sleeping. Except your ex-lover, she was always snoring. Or was it you? But her sister was even worse, she hated you and wanted you dead. Bitch can't take a joke.

Anyway, now you're in a dangerous situation. Sure, you're safe and stuff, but if any of those girls wakes up, the result will be rather annoying. Satori will probably beat you to death, the magical pets girls will maim you for hurting Satori, and any of the new girls may try to eat you. Your lifespan is running short.
But you're a HERO! From Spain, you walked all around Europe, Russia, China, and you built a strange ship to reach Japan! Sure, the ship was half-built when you found it, but you're not really a carpenter, so being able to restore it was a miracle! You are a hero, who went through hell to reach a haven! You're not getting so far just to be eaten! You are a hero, and your must act like a hero!
Run away. Now.

Is what you want to do, but something tells you to stay near Satori. According to her delirium speech about insanity, you're crazy. Well, even if you are crazy, she may be able to help you, so you decide to stay near her until she “fixes” you. Of course, that's crazy.
Hell, just the fact that you're staying here instead of running away is enough to prove that you're crazy. So, hey you should leave, but you can't abandon Satori here. So what should you do? Take her on your back, and leave? Why not, that's doesn't sound as stupid as your usual ideas.
You walk to Satori, untie her, and try to lift her body on her back. But you fail to find a comfortable position, and she's heavier than you though.
Putting her in a piggyback position, you're quickly distracted by the feeling of her chest on your back. You can't do this. If you try, you'll end up raping her after 50 meters. Find something else.
“Oh my, I drank too much.”
Crap, the girl in track suit is waking up! And the doggy-eared girl too! Quick! Do something!

You drop dead on the ground, and feign death.
“Hey, Kyouko, look! There are people here!”
“I don't care! Nazrin asked us to investigate the shrine, and thanks to your amazing driving skills, we're investigating a pile of dust!”
“Hey, it's not my fault! If roads were properly maintained-”
“If, if, if! With “if”, we could put Gensokyo in a bottle, so stop that!”
“Okay, okay. But I keep saying it's not my fault that the shrine collapsed!”
“Yeah, right. We enter in dah shrine, dah shrine collapses. I don't think it's a coincidence.”
“Those peoples here are responsible for the collapsing!”
“You're trying to blame someone else for your own mistake? You're the worst!”
“Hey, at least I don't spend all my time holding a broom!”
“At least I can travel without any risk!”
Okay, they are arguing. It's time for you to sneak away.
“Stop right there, you!”
Crap, they saw you.

You jump on your feet, dropping Satori. The girls are shocked. Obviously it's your hero aura! Or maybe it's because you were holding a motionless girl, while being in a strange position!
“A human! Kyouko, that's a human!”
“Yeah, thanks, I can see that! Now let me talk with him!”
Displaying a smiling face, the dog-eared girl try to communicate with you!
“Hello. My name is Kyouko Kasodani. I'm a Yamabiko. What is your name, mister?”
She's doing a good job at talking. BUT THAT'S OBVIOUSLY A DISTRACTION! While you'll talk with her, the other girl -the one in track suit- will try to attack you from behind! You can't let that happen!
Not answering, you begin to slowly move backward, avoiding the “Kyouko”. She's not surprised by your reaction, and she keeps talking.
“I'm not hostile towards you, you know? Perhaps you could tell me your name. Maybe I can help you? Are you hungry? Do you need a shelter?”
Don't answer the cannibal little girl! The last one you ran away from was a night sparrow, and that was close! Run away as fast as you can, but don't show her your back!
“Perhaps my master can help you, she's very powerful, you know. She's the one who said that she should take human for dinner.”
Take human for dinner? FUCK! Okay. No more thinking, but more acting!

You grab Satori's leg, throw her on your back, and run away quickly. Well, at least you try. But the girl in track suit appears before you, and try to push you, back to Kyouko.
Without any reflexion, you drop Satori on the ground again, and you decide to get rid of that girl.
First, with your hands, you slap both her ears. Result is temporary deafness, and disorientation. Second, while she protect her face with her arms, you punch her in the stomach. It works quite well, and it's stuns her. Third, you grab her by the collar, and you throw her on the ground, out of your way. Conclusion: temporary deafness, disorientation, light suffocation due to the punch. She won't bother you for 15 minutes. There's a chance she might become deaf for real, or that she dies. That asides, there's nothing serious.
Now that your opponent is defeated, you take Satori, and carry her over your shoulder. The fight against that girl filled you with adrenaline, erasing any pain, and multiplying your strength. You know it won't last long, and you have to be far away when the adrenaline fades.
Of course, that's counting without the Kyouko girl, who's now … flying after you. Yeah, right, she's flying. Screw that, it's obviously another hallucination.
Something hits your head. Something hard, like a stick, or... yes, a broom. She hit you with a broom.
Okay, it's beating time girl.

You are facing KYOUKO KASODANI.
Level: 1.
Species: Cannibal monster.
Note: You're stronger than her. Just beat her until she's down.

[] Beat her with a wooden plank.
[] Just punch her in the face.
[] Use your intelligence to get rid of her!
[] Use an object:
-[] Hat remains.
-[] Whip.
-[] Unconscious Satori.

There's a reference to a movie. I gives you a cookie if you can find it.
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[x]Whip it out.
-[x]"Trust me, eye'm a doctor."
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are you a wizard

Wait, wait wait, you think this story is good good? Like, you read it not because it's so bad it's good, but because it's a quality work? And not in the sense that it's a QUALITY work, but in the sense that it's well written?

I just lost a bet, you bizarre son of a low-standard writer.

Oh, and I'll vote:

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Ha! That was my write in, and it turned out some amusing results. Glad my insanity is working for me in this story.

[x]Whip it out.
-[x]"Trust me, eye'm a doctor."
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Write-in rejected.
I don't like the "eye'm" part. Please prepare another vote or follow one already available.
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Thank you for that little victory against dumb memes.

[x] Hat remains
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[x] Use an object:
-[x] Unconscious Satori.

We shall bludgeon her to submission with Satori.
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Hi, >>6932 here to say:
[x]Whip it out.
-[x]"Trust me, I'm a doctor."
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[x] Use an object:
-[x] Unconscious Satori.
Equip Satori! Whack some youkai!
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>Use your intelligence to get rid of her!
Oh yeah, that will go well.

[x] Use an object:
-[x] Whip.
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Vote called. Next update when I'll feel like writing soon.
Prepare for hitting a poor janitor youkai with a mind reader youkai.
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Can we also whip it out, Because we're a doctor?
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There's a girl wanting to beat the crap out of you with a broom because you beat the breath out of her friend, and you want to show your dick to her?
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Nothing of course! After all, We're a doctor. Doctor's dont get hurt, silly, They fix people who ARE hurt. If they got hurt, Who would save people?
Silly writer.
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I am a doktor! Trust me! Unfortunately, I can't heal myself, but I am pretty gut at healing other peoples!

Update almost here. Rewriting some part, and proofreading, and it's over.
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Meanwhile underground
[x] Use an object:
-[x] Unconscious Satori.

“Okay, if you want to play like this!”
You grab Satori by her foot, and you face the Kyouko girl. She's adopting a defensive posture now, holding her broom like a spear.
Bare-handed, you have to get rid of that broom to hit directly. You can break it, or take it from her hands, in many ways. But first, you have to test its solidity.
Using the lifeless Satori as a mace, you attack Kyouko, aiming for the head. She parries quite easily, hitting Satori with the handle, and counter attacking by poking you in the chest. You answer by throwing Satori. This time, Kyouko ducks, avoiding the youkai. Quickly, while she's focused on Satori, you grab her broom, and try to take it off her hands.
Unfortunately, she's stronger than expected. You try to weaken her grasp by hitting her in the face with your elbow.
She's half-stunned, but still not letting it go. Worse than that, she kicks you in the groin. You let go the broom, opening your body for an attack.
The first hit is on your face. Still with the wooden handle. For a second, you can't see anything but stars, and you can't say where you are. Are you laying, or are you standing? The second hit is on your back, throwing you on the ground.

Stunned, you try to get on your feet one more time, but the girl kicks you in the shoulder, throwing you one more time on the ground. Rubbing your face, you try to focus on the current situation.
And, with a flash, a solution comes to you!
Kyouko is standing in front of you, completely still. If you try to stand, she'll kick you in the dust one more time. But she's too nice to kick you while you're still on the floor, so you'll use this chance.

First, you will punch her knee. Depending of her resistance, you might break it. Second, she will probably crouch by reflex to protect her legs. This time, an uppercut well-placed might knock her off. There's a chance she might bite her tongue, you'll have to take that into consideration. Third, if she's still not down, you will hit her in the face several times, using your elbows. However, you will be dangerously close, and you will be exposed to a counter-attack, so you have to stun her before. After the combo, take the broom from her hands, and use it to knock her off. Usually, there's a probability her skull might be broken if you attack her too hard, but if she's not knocked yet, the said-probability will be low.
Okay, let's do this.
Jumping on your feet, but still crouching, you grab Kyouko's knee with your left hand, and punch it with your right hand. You do it wrong, however, and the knee isn't broken. It'll leave a bad bruise. Screaming in pain, Kyouko try to shove you away with the broom. Just as planned.
The uppercut. Clenching your left hand, you raise it. That's a failure. You forgot to aim, and you only manage to punch the air. Staggering away, Kyouko seems to understand who she's facing. She's on her guard now. Okay, fine. It's right, it's right, next!
You begin your combo on Kyouko. Right elbow, cheek, left elbow, temple, right punch, jaw. Showing you her back in a attempt to protect herself, you can hear Kyouko spitting something. Her jaw must be damaged, she's bleeding. NO! DON'T THINK! ACT!
Grabbing her by the waist, you turn on yourself, and throw her away. She lands quite badly, judging by her pained scream.
She's now laying on her back, but she's not knocked out yet. Time to finish her. You grab something, and walk to her. Then, you begin to beat her with that soft thing you found. She parries quite well, still using her broom. Hell, you don't know what that broom is made of, but it's not your usual fragile wood!

Wait a minute, what are you doing?! You're trying to beat a girl to death? Stop that, RIGHT NOW!
You're transfixed. You can't move anymore. The horror of your action is hitting you quite badly. Think about it. In short, you just ruined a shrine, attacked two girls without any proof, punching one in the stomach and elbowing another in the face. Right now, you're beating her while she can't even defend herself efficiently!
Hold on, what are you using to beat her? Oh, right, Satori. In short, you used the girl you want to make a friend of to beat another girl who tried to greet you nicely.
Nice job, jackass. Really. Maybe you should excuse to-
You ears are ringing. Pain is going havoc in your head. Protecting your face by reflex, you drop Satori on the ground. Another hit. On the back. You're thrown on the ground for the third time, your ears still ringing.
Something sharp presses against your back. Not a knife, maybe a sword? You're not sure, and you can't really focus. You're desperately trying to protect your ears, that ringing is really painful. Slowly, you lost your sense, one after one, and you stay in darkness, unable to say where you are, when you are, or even how you are.

The first sense coming back is Mr Sense of Smell. Smells like... cut grass.
Second sense coming back is Mr Touch. You're in a fetal position. Hey! Mr Headache! He's... GOOONE! You are so happy you could totally ride a pig toward oblivion and flames! Well, you would be happy if you knew where you are.
Third sense coming back is Mr Eyesight. And he's telling you that you're in a flower field, with a red sky above you, and a black sun visible near the horizon.
Fourth sense coming back is Mr Hearing. And he's telling you that someone is behind you.

You jump on your feet, trying to identify the person.
No, you don't know her. Brown hair, black tie, white shirt, and a nice brown dress. You totally don't know her. But your instinct is telling you that she's human. You decide to act in a mature way.
“Hello, Lady. What time is it?”
Nice job being original, asshat! Hold on, you no longer have a hat. Nice job, asshole.
Without answering you, the girl take a cigarettes pack from her pocket, and hold it out for you. You shake your head negatively. She shrugs, and light one.
After a while breathing on the tobacco thingy, she finally speaks.
“First, my apologies for bringing you here, doctor. But the one I hired to bring you is not really competent when he have to works on human.”
FINALLY! Ever since you started traveling, you encountered several creatures, some human, other... less human, and, this girl, is the only one calling you “doctor”! You are so happy someone acknowledge your biology PhD! Trying to hide your smile and your happiness, you answer with what seems to be a cool tone.
“No, it's okay. After all, the more important thing is that I'm here, isn't it?”
Wow. Not only you sounds like a retard, but you're also using sentences from old Hollywood movies! Your lack of imagination will make you look like a complete moron, you know?
Smiling to herself, the girl ignore the question, and quickly jump to the main topic.
“Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Renko Usami, and I have a job for you.”

[] “Go on. Hold on, I must check before if I still have my equipment. Whip can be sold for several pounds, you know?”
[] “Go on. Hold on, I must pick my nose first.”
[] “Go on. Are you free for dinner, after work?”
[] “Go on. Are you read Sutter Kane?”
[] (Write-in. Ask any questions, except what kind of panties she's wearing)


Proofread it myself. Pic may be relevant. Don't vote for mèmes, I will ignore them. There's nothing wrong with being crazy, but being TOO crazy may lead you to a dead end. Or even worse.
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[x] “Go on. Hold on, I must check before if I still have my equipment. Whip can be sold for several pounds, you know?”
[x] “Go on. Hold on, I must pick my nose first.”
[x] “Go on. Are you free for dinner, after work?”
[x] Whip it out
-[x] "Don't worry, I'm a do- oh wait you knew that."
--[x] Whip it in.
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[x] “Go on. Are you read Sutter Kane?”
Simply because I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. We get to meet Yamame soon?
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[x] “Go on. Wait, hold on, I must check before if I still have my equipment. Whip can be sold for several pounds, you know?”
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[x] Kiss her. Make a good first impression.
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I love this vote! No, seriously!
If I could, I would accept it glady!
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Hi, Whip it out anon here, Changing my vote to
[x]Kiss her. Make a good first impression.
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[x] Kiss her. Make a good first impression.

This should be interesting
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File 130748636859.jpg - (171.52KB, 740x800, Renko.jpg)
[x] Kiss her. Make a good first impression.

She's offering you a job? Sweet! Exactly what you needed! You mean, it's not like you're the only human left on the planet! No, you're really grateful! Besides, she's quite pretty! You should make a good first impression! Kiss her!

“Are you all right?”
“Mmmm mmmm mm!”
You forgot she was smoking. And you tried to kiss her while her lips were still holding that damn cigarette. You burned your mouth quite badly. It's quite excruciating. But thanks to your quite special training “Sis' cakes”, you learned to suffer quite silently.
It was a very useful skill, now that you think about it. Almost as useful as learning the word “quite”.
“Doctor, answer me. Are you interested in- ah?”
She lets go a little charming cry when you take the cigarette from her mouth, before kissing her. You're not really an experienced kisser, but you know the theory. Maybe she's liking it, since she's not slapping you. Or maybe it's because you're hugging her so tightly she can't move.
You were right. She's a very sweet girl. Too bad she's smoking, you can feel that smell from her mouth. She'll probably die very soon, 5-10 years at least. Cancer is really interesting, it's like a uncontrolled mutation who-
Stop. Don't think about that, doctor. Enjoy this very moment while you can. You showed restraint during all this time, even after that, when you met that little mind reading girl, and it drove you half-crazy. Now you finally have a girl to yourself, and you know it won't go any further. So enjoy this kiss while you can, because insanity will come back once this is over.
Hold her. Feel her breast against your chest. Love her, even if it's just for a little moment, doctor.

Finally, after a long minute, she shoves you back, and tries to catch her breath.
“Sorry, it wasn't good?”
You ask, using your famous skill: “puppy's stare”. Feared it was in the orphanage, for it was able to redeem your pathetic little self from every crime, including putting ice in the director's bed. No, wait, you never lived on an orphanage. Or did you? You don't remember. And you don't really care too.
Awww, how cute, she's blushing like a school girl.
“So, about that job? Are you going to tell me or are you going to keep on with that kiss?”
“Ah! Yes!”
A little perturbed, she scratches her head, trying to remember what she was supposed to said. Watching her face makes you smile. Before, that girl was not really smiling, mostly wearing some “business face”, like a mask. And now, you no longer have a business girl in front of you, but a confused girl. That's refreshing to see that. For a while, you feel good. It's like nothing really changed. You're still a sadist teacher asking difficult questions to see how his student will answer.
“That's not you! I saw him in a mirror a month ago. He's tall, black hair, badly shaved, looks disgusting.”
“No, I mean... You!”
“You what? You tube? Yeah, I miss that.”
“NO! You! The doctor!”
“Me? The doctor? I can't, I don't have a Tardis!”
“Will you shut your mouth and listen to me?”
“Walking alone in the badlands can get pretty unnerving too. Did you know Robinson Crusoé talked to everything on his island, including rocks and animals?”
“Doctor, please listen to me.”
“I'm listening you.”
Peoples those days aren't polite at all. That's why I'm so polite. To annoy the fuck out of them.
“I have a job for you.”
“I heard that before. What's the deal?”
“We have a doctor in Gensokyo, but she's incompetent.”
“Tell me more, please?”
“In short, she's more like a apothecary than a doctor, you see? She can only create medicines, she's incompetent in surgery and anything like that.”
“I see. And you want me to teach her?”
“It'll be difficult.”
“Excuse me?”
“You see, I'm a doctor all right. But that's mostly honorific. To be accurate, I'm a biologist. I'm not the best in the domain of healing.”
“Perhaps. But you're the best of what's left.”
For some reason, you feel insulted.
“What will I gain from this?”
“First, a shelter. Second, you'll be able to meet other humans.”
“That was fast.”
“It's been a while since the last time I saw something else than a cannibal monster.”
“All right. You'll be dropped in front of the mansion.”
“What's the doctor's name?”
“Her name is Reisen Inaba.”
“I don't know who taught her, but he must be a complete retard. Kinda like 'hey let's teach you how to make medicine but guess who takes what', isn't it?”
“Just... don't speak about her master like that when she's near.”
“Nobody will tell me what to say. Last girl who tried almost lost an arm in the process.”
“Yes, I know about that.”
“Anything left to know?”
“Well... You're quite free to move as you want, but I suggest avoiding the underground, and the shrine you ruined before.”
“People are quite pissed after you.”
“Suck to be them.”
“And the doctor you have to train?”
“She's a moon rabbit.”

Too late. The whole landscape, including the black sun, is already no more. Look like you failed one more time. Too bad you couldn't kiss that girl one more time, she was really tasty.
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Poor guy.
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A little tip: There's too much talking, And not enough telling who it is. I feel like i'm losing track every once in a while, And it makes this amazing story harder to read. Also yeah there's no vote but
[x] Grab your whip and double click.
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Part 2?
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Part two coming soon.
I'm trying to understand Reisen before writing about her.

>There's too much talking, And not enough telling who it is.
Okay. Either less talking, either more recognizable sentences patterns.
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Reisen's seen as easily shyed while still having a sense of duty, Along with the only one in Eientei who actually has a calm head most of the time.
Also the point I was getting at was that there was a lot of talking for a long time on end with no breaks of any sort. You could always say like every 3 sentences that x explained or something.
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When is Eirin ever not calm?
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When she's near any sort of medical equipment and a -- ahem -- 'test subject'.
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According to Perfect Memento in Strict Sense, she tries to avoid human presence. Only go to the Village to sell medicines, and never last long.

According to Scarlet Weather Rhapsody's readme, she's "carefree and crazed", and "she can change her personality completely to match her circumstances". Sounds interesting.

Perfect Memento in Strict Sense gives a good description of her power, while saying something interesting about the relation between Reisen and Tewi.
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Fuckin' figures seeing as how I never got around to playing SWR. Though Iunno, I guess she's Bipolar or something? But then again, I guess its not bipolar since its hinted at that she can control her emotions... I guess its just a trait from those eyes?
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File 130769928827.png - (306.75KB, 440x700, Reisen with a kimono.png)
Reisen with a kimono
And now you're facing a weird wooden building. For some reason the general design of this place reminds you that game where you play as a ninja, how was it named?
Well, Renko said something about a mansion, didn't she? You think that's this. Well, by your standards, that's not really a mansion, but your standards contain stones. Well luckily, there is a garden! Look like a french garden at first, not really your liking, but, well that's good enough. Of course, there's no well in this garden, so you had to add your own!

Before beginning the work, you should relax. Let's walk in the garden and visit the place, shall we? Hey, there are people here!
Wait, is that a mansion, a kindergarten, or an asylum? According to Renko, it's a mansion, according to the current population, it's a kindergarten, and according to the fact that they are all wearing white dress, you wonder if it's an asylum.
You visited one before, to assist a friend in his research on human brain. It was fiasco by the way. The only thing you discovered is that insanity really has effect on the brain. But nothing more. Your friend committed suicide later, if you remember right.

Which means that right now, you have a good reason to be uneasyn while witnessing so many little girls in white dresses.
“Let's get out of here.”
A very wise decision indeed. Let's go back before you notice their ears.

Hold on. What did you say? They have ears?
Your scream shakes the whole mansion. Now everyone is looking at you. No, everyone is staring at you. You cover your mouth, trying to hide your breath. You know about those monsters! If you don't breath, they can't see you.
Or, wait, isn't the jiang shi who is supposed to do that? Quick, think! What are the jiang shi's characteristics? It's a vampire zombie, right? So it's supposed to be rotting!
Are those things rotting? No.
Are they hopping? No.
Are you looking like a complete moron hiding your mouth? YES!

THEY WALK. They are walking to you!
Okay. No more game. It's time to attack first! Preventive strike, stuff like that! You had a basic military formation, it's time to use it! After all, you have several valuable skills!
You can taunt, beg, betray, manipulate, kill, use a radio, and run away.
So what is the logical action? Of course, it's running! You won 50£ and a metro ticket, milord!
AS IF, MORON! They are just little girls! Just beat the crap out of them!

Or not. As you said, they are just little girls. Even if they are scary as hell, walking while staring the hell out of you. Maybe you should... Oh, yeah, it's too late. You're surrounded.
You remember when you were studying biology. You had some friends, and one of them was a complete nerd. He often told you that the best tactic when using zerglings (cute little thingies with teeth), was to surround the enemy, blocking any retreat, and attacking him from every side.
And they're doing it right. You're really completely surrounded. Maybe it's time for negotiation?
Raising your right hand as a salute, you speak some words in japanese.
They are not answering. THEY are still staring you. THEY are still scaring you. You decide to try again.
“I want to meet doctor Reisen.”
THEY are still motionless. THEY are not even blinking.
You don't know what to do.

Liar. You know what to do. FREAK THE HELL OUT!
And you're doing it right. Running through the crowd, kicking the mansion's main door, running quickly through the mansion, kicking some random door, going in the room, closing the door, and panting heavily.
You can hear THEM coming. THEY know where you are. THEY are taking THEIR time. THEY enjoy scaring you. THEY are toying with you. YOU- oops sorry, you capitalized the wrong one.
“What the hell are you doing?”
That was a very feminine scream here, you know? Maybe you should answer to that pretty voice, instead of looking like a pussy. With your best smile, you show your face to the girl, and your back to the door.
“Excuse me pretty lady, but I am currently followed by a bunch of scary white little girls with rabbit ears.”
The girl answers with a very surprised tone.
“If rabbit ears are scaring, you're in the wrong place then.”
“My, what a huge agitation. Look at me, listen to my voice, and calm down.”
“There's a medicine for this, but for now, a little hypnosis should work fine until I have more data.”
She rises from her desk, and walks to you. God damn you, even in your current confused state, you can't help but notice that she's pretty.
Lavender hair, a very cute face, and a very curvy body. Unfortunately, the kimono she's wearing doesn't let you see her body precisely, but you can say that she's promising. If it wasn't for those ears, she could be the perfect model. Or a wonderful call-girl.
She speaks again, in a very soft voice.
“Look at me. Look at my eyes. Can you see them? Red. That's all you see. Red. Now listen to me, and listen to me only. You won't hear anyone else. Now relax. Breath deeply, and answer to every question I will ask.”
Your can't see anymore. The whole world is red. You stare blankly, not noticing your mouth being wide open. Red everywhere. Except for a little blackness here. You couldn't notice it before, and you can't look at it straight. There's a black point in your vision. If you were conscious, you would diagnostic this as an eye malfunction. But you can't think anymore.
And so, the girl speaks again to your stupid self.
“Who are you, and why are you here?”
You feel like you're still a baby, listening to his mother's soft voice. It's easy to answer. Really easy.
“My name is... My name is... My name is... I am here to teach Reisen Inaba.”
She speaks again. But not really to you at first.
“No name. That's serious. He's not the first one. But usually they can remember their names when they are like this. Who sent you?”
“Renko hired me. She told me that the doctor Reisen was lacking skills in some domains. Such as surgery. I'm here to fix that.”
She's speaking to herself again. The blackness is no longer a point. It's growing larger.
“All right. Nobody here will hurt you. Be relaxed while you are in the mansion. Now listen carefully. I will count to three. When I will reach three, you will wake up. You won't remember anything from our discussion. One, Two, Three-”
You jump on your feet! It's one, two, three, and “let's go”, isn't it? Or is it not? Oh, hey, there's a cute little bunny in front of you! Funny, she remembers you someone! Perhaps you should put duct tape on her ears! Duct tape, you love this word! Duct tape, duct tape!

No, wait! You are doing it wrong! You should present yourself! You shake the bunny's hand, while speaking:
“Hello. I'm a doctor, trust me! In fact, I'm more like a biologist! I also received a basic military formation, and I'm not half-bad at shooting range, but currently I'm quite insane so don't give me a gun, ha ha ha!”
Smiling to you, the bunny bows down:
“Pleased to meet you doctor. I am the doctor Reisen Udongein Inaba. You can call me Reisen. I received an advanced military training, specialized in sabotage and commando mission!”
Wow, what a curriculum vitae! Former commando? What, was she a navy seal? And now she's a doctor? Really interesting. You wonder why she decided to quit her old job. But no thinking!Presentation is not over! Finish it! Fatality! Brutality!
“I look forward to our collaboration, Dr Reisen.”
“Same here, doctor? You didn't told me your name?”
Aw, crap, she wants a name. What was it again? Some like Mort... Mori? Mori? Haha, as if. And why not Hojo, or Oda? Stupid you, you are not japanese! Screw that, you don't know! And you don't want to know! Because thinking about the past will lead you to unpleasant event, like that time when your soon-to-be-stepsister tried to kill you!
“Call me how you want.”
She's smiling in a very cute way. She's really a nice girl...
“What about 'underling'?”
..Or not. You take back what you say. She's awful. You look forward to beating her with a bamboo stick if she's failing your tests. Hey, wait! Your tests? Is that how you plan to teach her?
Dude, she's not really a doctor. You are her teacher, act like a teacher. Well, try to ignore the fact that she's obviously older and more experienced than you, and maybe you will believe your own story.
“If I can ask, how old are you, Dr Reisen?”
“I stopped counting after my 250th birthday.”
Yyyyeaaahhh. So even if you skipped time somehow, she's still older than you.
“You're still pretty.”
She giggles. You feel confused. You could fall in love, if she wasn't so... alien. Yeah, that's the best word. She's beautiful, and, let's say it frankly, you would totally make love to her, but there's something in her who's saying “back off dude, I'm not from here”. You're not sure if it's her ears, her lavender hair, or her fluffy tail.
Because, yeah, she had a tail, you made sure of that! Yeah, you checked her ass, but it was for SCIENCE! And it's also for SCIENCE that you would like to see her naked.
Except that science isn't drooling, you old pervert. And science isn't imagining 18+ rated stuff in the weird thing that used to be your head.

Still a little confused, you decide to start fixing things.
“So! Mind showing me the mansion, and mind explaining me why those rabbits are after me?”
Her face frowns in a disgusting grimace. And when she speaks, it's with an acid tone.
“Oh, that... that's for several reasons. First being, they don't speak japanese, so you must have picked their interest. Second being, we knew you would come, so I bet our little prankster decided to greet you in her own way.”
Oh crap, you know that look! She's going to complain about something! Quickly, change the topic!
“Who taught you about medicines?”
Yeah! Great! Wonderful!
“It was Master Yagokoro. She was a very competent doctor in her own way, kinda eccentric, but she was nice and considerate, and, let's say it bluntly, she was a complete genius, even if she had a strange way to conceive medicine, because, you see, for her, everything could be cured with medicines, not surgery, thinking about that, I don't know I saw her getting her hands dirty even once, even when we had that-”
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU SHERLOCK! THAT WAS THE WORSE QUESTION YOU COULD ASK! Now you're going to sit in this room forever, listening to her babbling.
Be positive. At least, you broke the ice, and she's very nice. But, damn, she's talkative.

From her speech, you discover several interesting facts. First, Reisen's Master, whoever he was, left almost ten years ago, for an unknown place. She didn't left alone, but for some reason, she left without Reisen. Second, Reisen deserted. You feel uneasy about that. Usually, you scorn deserters, but you think (you hope) she had a good reason. Third and last fact, Reisen isn't the mansion's boss. And you will have to take that into consideration.

“And when, Master decided to hide the Moon, because, you see...”
Not noticing you're already sleeping, Reisen is still talking. Bah. You didn't noticed you were sleeping either. In several minutes, she will notice you're sleeping, she will bring you in a room, and drop you on the floor. She won't show it, but she will be a little upset by your lack of interest. And also because you are a male.

You were sleeping, and yet you could feel it. Reisen's annoyance, the pain from sleeping on wooden planks, and also this little noise. Wait a minute, a little noise? Bah, it's obviously nothing of interest! It's not like it's...

[] A jiang shi.
[] A ghost.
[] A fur monster.


Proofread it. It's only once it's posted that you notice typos. How annoying.
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[x] Something that goes bump in the night
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[x] A ghost.
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[x] There's something strange in this neighbourhood...

>Yeah, you checked her ass, but it was for SCIENCE! And it's also for SCIENCE that you would like to see her naked. Except that science isn't drooling, you old pervert. And science isn't imagining 18+ rated stuff in the weird thing that used to be your head.

Never stop ever please.
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[x] A fur monster.

I like this story. It's pleasant.
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You know what? I'll explain the Sutter Kane reference if you explain what you're referring to.
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When theres somethin' strange. In the neighbourhood. Who ya gunna call?
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"In the mouth of Madness". Early in the movie, a man attack the hero with an axe, and ask him "did you read Sutter Cane?"
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Who ya gunna call?
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File 130793051487.png - (144.23KB, 600x500, Yorihime travelling somewhere.png)
Yorihime travelling somewhere
I managed to find some kind of transportation device. Investigations will be far more easier from now on. However, I couldn't find any trace of Master's whereabouts, so send me a report containing her diary. This is the only trail we'll have for now.
I don't know how you're doing, but hang on there. Keep your cover as long as you can, we'll need your position and your relations.

Also, I learned that there was a ruckus near the old Shrine, so investigate that yourself, I'm too far to take care of that myself. If you think Master is involved in that, contact me immediately.


A little "half-time".
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There was no lemonade or booze, Therefore there was no halftime. Silly author.
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File 130798969471.png - (225.96KB, 512x272, vlcsnap-2011-06-13-20h27m25s157.png)
Here, drink something.
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File 130800941474.png - (13.83KB, 141x119, Ghostly.png)
[x] A ghost.

Yeah. Obviously it's not a ghost.
Wanna know why? Because ghost are totally silent, and this one is making noises.

Shifting to a more comfortable position, you quickly forget the noise. Until it grows louder, allowing you to pinpoint its position on your mental map.
It's coming from the door leading to you room. Which means that this thing should be right behind you.

The revelation hits you like a thunderbolt. You jump on your feet, facing the new threat.
You were wrong. It's a ghost all right.
Well, either a ghost, either a red-tongued white marshmallow with a triangle on its head. And considering that marshmallow can't fly, you think it's a ghost.

For a while, you consider breaking down in tears. Or punching it in the face. But Mister Brain suggests something else. Confirm it's hostile first. Well, thank you, Mister Brain, I like your suggestion, but I prefer breaking down in tears, it's less tiring.
Frivolously flying around, the marshmallow let out some high-pitched screams, while watching you with an amused eye.

Bake bake? Mister Brain has a translation for this, it means “you're doomed human”. Either that, either it means “follow me outside”. Hold on, did this thing just taunted you? Hell, boy, you're the doomed one here! You're going to break his arms...
Yeah. Right.

Leaving it here, you walk quietly to the corridor. To defeat this thing, you will need a proper tool. You're not sure you can find it here, but you can hope, right?
OH THANKS GOD! You found it! It's an ancient artifact, created by the Great Old Ones, may their names be cherished forever! For they were Bosch, Arthur Martin, and E. Gadd productions! Back then, those artifacts were common, but now they are rare! The old and feared VACUUM CLEANER!

Well, to be quite accurate, it's more a broom than a vacuum cleaner, but considering that this place is probably not alimented in energy, the probability to find a proper ghost hunting instrument is... low.
Holding the broom like a spear, you decide to bring Ghostly down with it, like if you were a knight! But it's funny to consider how much brooms are involved in your business recently. This afternoon, you fought that girl, Kyouko. She also had a broom. And now, you're using one to beat the … slime out of Ghostly.
Yeah, you call it Ghostly. Because you think it should be called like this.
Holding the broom in a very flashy motion, you slowly begin to whistle Ghostbuster's theme. Sadly, you don't remember the lyrics, but the melody is still in your mind.
“When there's somethin' strange
With your girlfriend
Who are ya goin' to call?”
No, that doesn't sound right.

You are facing a very interesting situation. You see, you can't touch Ghostly. When you try to poke it with the broom, it goes through it. However, trying to touch cool down your hand. That's really interesting, but you can't explain that. It's possible to be invisible, it's something like a light trick, but this is something else. Maybe this ghost is like steam, or something like that. Like, he can't be touched directly. Because a ghost is a cold micro climate of some kind, like a cold draft. You want to gather it and study it. Maybe if you had a fan or something...
Hey! It's running away! Errr, you mean flying away! It's going outside!

You know, you are a very strange man. You can kill anyone without any remorse, with sticking to some weird sense of honor. You're a selfish asshole, but sometimes you will risk your life for people you don't even know. You don't really know how to describe yourself, maybe “chaotic heroic”? You are more or less following your own rules, and yet there is something in front of you denying your rules.
Yeah. In front of you, there is something shocking all your senses. In front of you, there is something you can't explain.

A flying woman with green hair, and no legs.
You're pretty sure you can explain the green hair, but the “no legs” part is already giving you headache.
Oh, hell with that. You accepted Ghostly before, you're sure you can accept that woman. After all, it's a dream.
“I knew you would be here.” Says the woman with a very acid tone.
What is she talking about? Oh, wait, she's speaking to Ghostly, right?
You catch Ghostly, and try to hand it to her.
“Here, take it.” You try to wear a friendly smile on your face.
She looks confused.
“Well, you came for this, right? That's interesting, I don't know how you made it, but it look like a real ghost! Well, I never saw a ghost before, but if ghosts were to exist, I'm sure they would look like this!”
Anger replaces confusion in the woman's eyes. She's pissed. You don't know why, you're trying to help her, and she's pissed!
“No! I mean YOU, you low-class waste!”
And she's screaming now. And Ghostly is screaming too, repeating “BAKEBAKE” in its high-pitched voice.
Hello, there, Mister Headache is preparing a comeback! You miss him, didn't you?
“I mean the man who ruined MY shrine, the useless pile of shit in front of me...”
She's still screaming. She must be really pissed. You don't know what to do, so you better sit and wait for her to be calmed down. Not paying any attention to your whereabouts, she keeps on talking, complaining about more stuff.
“First Reimu die, weakening me, and now the Shrine is ruined! What am I going to do? It's all your fault, you worthless human, even since the beginning, you were always...”
You're sure she's saying lots of interesting stuff, but you're sleepy, and not in the best mood to deal with this typical step mother behavior.

After a while, she finally calms down. Gently, you pat the ground near you, inviting her. She looks at you, totally confused, and sit down.
You decide to take the initiative:
“So, in short, what was that about?”
“In short? You. Ruined. My Home.” She answers while clenching her teeth.
“Sorry about that, I can't rebuild it. I'm not an engineer.”
A venomous smile is spread all over that woman's face now. It's the “oh-boy-I'm-gonna-rape-you-until-you-beg-for-more” kind of smile. Not really something you can trust, but all you want right now is going back to sleep.
“Since I can't live in the Shrine, I'll live in your head.”
“What?” That doesn't make sense.

Starting from now, things are going on too fast.
The woman fly to you, and hug your face in a very strange way, before dissolving very slowly in the air. Once she completely disappeared, you can hear a voice whispering to your ear.
“I'm haunting you.”

Yes. You are a scientist, more or less the only human left, you're half-insane, it's something like 01:00 AM, you're damn tired, and now there's a ghost haunting you.

You know what? Fuck that. You're going to sleep, you'll think about this tomorrow.

[] “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo”
[] “Fuck yeah!”
[] “Anything important?”
[] “Snottite are very interesting lifeforms. Did you knew they are able to turn volcanic sulfur and water into sulfuric acid? Kinda like a Blob, but more interesting since they exist for real!”
[] “Write-ins are sooooo awesome! But you could create one instead of staying here, on your chair!”


I give up. I am not satisfied with this update, not at all, but I don't want to delay it any longer. Sorry for the poor quality, and for Mima's strange reactions. I failed to introduce any logic in that, and that's annoying me.
Also, starting from now on, I'll oppose a veto if I don't like votes. And if the write-in option isn't available, it'll be useless to suggest one.
I know the ghost option came from me, but I'm the godamn writer, I can be "disingenuous" sometimes.
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So, how will we drive Mima insane? Any suggestions?
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[x] “Anything important?”
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[x] “Snottite are very interesting lifeforms. Did you knew they are able to turn volcanic sulfur and water into sulfuric acid? Kinda like a Blob, but more interesting since they exist for real!”

We shall confuse her with our nonsensical ramblings!
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>Hold on, did this thing just taunted you?
This grammar is horrible I'm going to le
>OH THANKS GOD! You found it! It's an ancient artifact, created by the Great Old Ones, may their names be cherished forever! For they were Bosch, Arthur Martin, and E. Gadd productions! Back then, those artifacts were common, but now they are rare! The old and feared VACUUM CLEANER!
you have been redeemed.

[x] “Fuck yeah!”
[x] “Snottite are very interesting lifeforms. Did you knew they are able to turn volcanic sulfur and water into sulfuric acid? Kinda like a Blob, but more interesting since they exist for real!”
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Nonsensical as in off the tangent.
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[x] “Fuck yeah!”

Best thing in the world
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Votación pidió "Snottite son formas de vida muy interesante. ¿Sabía usted sabía que ellos son capaces de convertir azufre volcánico y el agua en el ácido sulfúrico? Un poco como un Blob, pero más interesante, ya que existen de verdad! "
Vote called for the snottite thing. You'll love google translate.
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I'm now going to dare you to make an update in all spanish.
To be exact, Next update. And dont try to pussy out, because I triple-fucking-dog dare you. You cant decline that shit.
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I'm now going to dare you to read an update translated by Google.
Without gouging your eyes out.
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Nous les Anons, nous sommes nuls en langues.

… désolé, je ne parle pas français.
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[X] "Snottite son formas de vida muy interesante. ¿Sabía usted sabía que ellos son capaces de convertir azufre volcánico y el agua en el ácido sulfúrico? Un poco como un Blob, pero más interesante, ya que existen de verdad! "

Hey, es las 7:00 AM, no tienen un sueño en absoluto durante toda la noche, y una mujer se instaló en la cabeza! Pero todo está bien! De hecho, se siente bien! Te sientes como si estás pensando con claridad y correctamente! Es curioso, incluso recordar lo que aprendió cuando estaba en la universidad!
Por ejemplo, los pueblos crucificados no mueren a causa de la pérdida de sangre, sino de asfixia! No recuerdo por qué, pero sabe que tiene que haber una razón más tonta!
Además, también hubo este maestro, una especie de neckbeard, siempre estaba divagando acerca de Dungeon and Dragons. Un neckbeard cierto, sí. Y un día, él le dijo que baba se inspira en verdad los seres vivos. Al principio fue "dejar de decir tonterías o me voy a poner cocaína en su bolso y voy a llamar a la policía", pero después de comprobar en Internet, se enteró de que tenía razón!

Para que se llama snottite, y son formas de vida molecular, similares a las bacterias. El aspecto de mocos, que son muy malos, ya que pueden a su vez de azufre volcánico y el agua en el ácido sulfúrico! En resumen, intenta acariciarlo, y luego quemar la mano, y se le cae muerto en el suelo, y luego los fabricantes de juegos se burlan de ti!
[I] "Eso es ... muy interesante ..."[/ i] con su fantasma.
Pero es aún más divertido después! Después de salir de la universidad con un doctorado, que encontró un trabajo en un campo de prisioneros. Por supuesto, al principio era un poco desagradable a las obras de los presos, pero con el tiempo, usted decide no dar una cogida.
No, usted está diciendo la mierda de nuevo. Nunca trabajó para el gobierno. Era incluso todo lo contrario! Pronto dejó su patria, va a Estados Unidos. Se encontró un trabajo en un laboratorio, y finalmente solicitó un trabajo en la NASA. Después de eso, su memoria es un poco mareado, pero el tornillo que estás vivo, eso es importante!

Oh, bueno, es Reisen! Ella todavía está en un kimono sexy, el cielo te bendiga! Por supuesto, después de ver su cara, sus ojos muy abiertos. Probablemente haya algunas bolsas bajo los ojos. Levantando la mano, le hace señas a su.
"Hola Doctor Reisen. ¿Cómo estás hoy? "
"... F-Bien, gracias. "Ella dice algo. Mira como ella dijo algo, sí.
[I] "Ella es muy linda, ¿no?" [/ I] Y aquí está la señorita fantasmal. ¿No puede dormir y sólo le permiten pensar en silencio? Usted estaba pensando en cómo la religión cristiana influenciado la cultura japonesa después de Sengoku Jidai.
Pero, hey, hay una chica linda que ver, así que no monólogo, hablar!
"... Buen tiempo, no es? "
USTED FREAKING MORON! QUE línea es tan usado en exceso QUE AUN NO SE PUEDE USARLO! Ahora pensar en otra cosa que decir que para ponerse al día!
"¿Crees que lloverá hoy?"
Usted no tengo palabras para esto. Usted no con tanta fuerza que le ofrecerá una breve considera usted matando. Por suerte, Reisen no prestar atención a sus fracasos, y habla con toda naturalidad.
"Después del desayuno, que a pesar de que pueden ir a visitar a algunos pacientes de mí."
"Esa es una muy buena idea, doctor!"
Su respuesta es muy optimista.
[I] "Es el plan a su peluche, ¿no?" [/ I] Hola, señorita fantasmal está hablando otra vez! No haga caso de ella.
Así, el desayuno, el desayuno.

Siguiendo el ejemplo de Reisen, usted camina por los pasillos, a una mesa baja. El desayuno está listo y esperando. ¿Tenía preparada que antes de venir para usted, o si fue que le pidió a alguien más? ¿Y por qué esa niña comer aquí? ¿Quiere decir, que supongo que es normal que las niñas a comer fuera, pero ¿por qué es este otro?
[I] "Ella no es como los demás. Ella es el jefe. "[/ I] Oye, niña fantasma, ¿usted sabía cómo funciona la fisión nuclear? Básicamente hablando, bombardear un núcleo con neutrones, y usted tiene la luz y el fuego. Suena bien, ¿verdad? Pero, en realidad, lo importante es que un núcleo inestable tienden a generar radiactividad. Y éste es aún más interesante. Por ejemplo, un ser vivo está compuesto de células, lo entiendes? Bueno, si las células reciben una radiación de partículas ionizantes, que tienden a actuar divertido. Si un ser vivo recibe demasiada radiación, va a sufrir un síndrome de irradiación aguda, llamado ARS por sus siglas. Él va a estar enfermo, finalmente vómito, sensación de náuseas. Con mayor exposición, que va a sangrar por la nariz o la boca. Finalmente, si está realmente expuesto, el cerebro se daña, junto con la columna vertebral, y el tema van a sufrir problemas neurológicos. A partir de ahora, el tema está condenado, y no se puede guardar. Sin embargo, incluso si el sujeto se purga de la radiación, que va a sufrir secuelas. Él va a tener cáncer, y eso no es muy divertido. Una vez que el cáncer alcanza su forma adulta, sin perjuicio de que el dolor horrible experimento. Tenía el pelo y los dientes se caen, que prohíbe ningún alimento sólido. Y finalmente, morirá.

Radiaciones son divertidos para estudiar, pero son menos divertido cuando infectan a alguien que usted conoce. No me gusta usar estas cosas a la mierda la boca del fantasma, pero tienen peor. ¿Te acuerdas de probar esta vacuna en ratones. Después de 2 días, cosas raras que pasó. Pero vas a mantener esa historia para otra ocasión.
"¿No tienes hambre?"
Mientras que estaba pensando, Reisen habló con usted. Por desgracia, lo único que puedo pensar ahora son los ratones. Lo que quieras, tienes que comer algo, o si va a colapsar. ¿Cuándo fue la última vez que usted come? No lo recuerdo.
"Creo que voy a tener pan, gracias."
Cool. Apetito que vendrá después del primer pan. El desayuno es bastante aburrido. La muchacha se fue rápidamente después de satélite, por lo que está a solas con Reisen. Bueno, solo, menos la mujer dentro de su cabeza.

"Así pues, usted planea visitar a los pacientes, ¿verdad?"
-Sí. De esta forma, seremos capaces de conocernos a nosotros mismos mejor, y también se le presentará con gente famosa. "
-Está bien para mí. "
Gente famosa, ¿eh? Uno espera que eres normal. Oh por favor Dios, por favor, por favor, que sean normales!
-Muy bien entonces. Voy a preparar el paquete y nos vamos. "

Usted debe llevar con usted ...
[] ...El látigo.
[] ...Equipo médico. Pregunte Reisen a dar algunos.
[] ...Medicamentos. Pregunte Reisen a dar algunos.
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Forgot my trip. Bah.

"Real" update will be uploaded in maybe 1-2 hours. I'll give you enough time to translate that and facepalm. Good thing I don't speak spanish, because I'm ready to bet that Google screwed everything.
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Spanish speaker here. It's actually readable, but kinda weird, like someone saying 'I did bought that movie'
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Forgot my vote:

[x] Medical equipment. Ask Reisen to give you some.
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Koishi IRL
[x] “Snottite are very interesting lifeforms. Did you knew they are able to turn volcanic sulfur and water into sulfuric acid? Kinda like a Blob, but more interesting since they exist for real!”

Hey, it's 7:00 AM, you haven't sleep at all during the whole night, and a woman installed herself in your head! But everything is fine! In fact, you feel good! You feel like you're thinking clearly and properly! Funny, you even remember what you learned when you were at the university!
For example, crucified peoples don't die from blood loss, but from suffocation! You don't remember why, but you know it has to be a silly reason!
Also, there was also this teacher, kind of a neckbeard, he was always rambling about Dungeon and Dragons. A true neckbeard, yeah. And one day, he told you that slime were inspired from true living creatures. At first you went “stop bullshitting me or I'll put cocain in your bag and I'll call the cops”, but after checking on the internet, you found out he was right!

For they were called snottite, and they are molecular lifeforms, similar to bacteria. Looking like snot, they are really nasty, because they can turn volcanic sulfur and water into sulfuric acid! In short, you try to pet it, and then your hand burn, and you drop dead on the ground, and then game makers make fun of you!
“That's... very interesting...” Says your ghost.
But it's even funnier after! After leaving university with a PhD, you found a job in a prisoner camp. Of course, at first it was kind of disgusting to works on prisoners, but with time, you decide to not give a fuck.
No, you're saying shit again. You never worked for government. It was even the opposite! You quickly left your motherland, going to United States. You found a job in a laboratory, and you finally applied for a job in the NASA. After that, your memory is a bit dizzy, but screw that, you're alive, that's important!

Oh, hey, it's Reisen! She's still in a sexy kimono, heaven bless thou! Of course, after seeing your face, her eyes open wide. Probably you have some bags under the eyes. Raising your hand, you wave at her.
“Hello Doctor Reisen. How are you today?”
“... F-Fine, thanks.” She says something. Look like she said something, yeah.
“She's pretty cute, right?” And here's Miss Ghostly. Can't she just sleep and let you think quietly? You were thinking about how much christian religion influenced japanese culture after Sengoku Jidai.
But, hey, there's a cute girl watching you, so don't monologue, speak!
“... Weather's fine, isn't it?”
YOU FREAKING MORON! THAT LINE IS SO OVERUSED THAT EVEN YOU CAN'T USE IT! Now think about something else to say to catch up that!
“Do you think it'll rain today?”
You have no words for this. You failed so hard that you briefly consider killing yourself. Luckily, Reisen doesn't pay attention to your failures, and speaks quite naturally.
“After breakfast, I though we may be visiting some patients of me.”
“That's a very good idea, Doctor!”
Your answer is very optimistic.
”You plan to shag her, don't you?” Hey, Miss Ghostly is speaking again! Ignore her.
So, breakfast, breakfast.

Following Reisen's lead, you walk through the corridors, to a low table. Breakfast is ready and waiting. Did she prepared that before coming for you, or did she asked someone else? And why is that little girl eating here? You mean, you guess it's normal for those girls to eat outside, but why is this one different?
”She's not like the others. She's the boss.” Hey, ghost girl, did you knew how nuclear fission works? Basically speaking, you bombard a nucleus with neutron, and you've got light and fire. Sounds cool, right? But in fact, the important part is that an unstable nucleus tend to generate radioactivity. And this one is even more interesting. For example, a living being is made of cells, you understand that? Well, if those cells receive radiation from an ionizing particles, they tend to act funny. If a living being receives too much radiation, he'll suffer from a Acute Radiation Syndrome, called ARS for short. He'll be sick, eventually vomiting, feeling nauseous. With larger exposition, he'll bleed, from his nose or from his mouth. Eventually, if he's really to exposed, the brain will be damaged, along with the spine, and the subject will suffer neurological problems. Starting from now, the subject is doomed, and can't be saved. However, even if the subject is purged from radiation, he'll suffer from after-effects. He'll get cancer, and that's not really funny. Once the cancer reaches its adult form, subject will experiment horrible pain. His hair and teeth will fall, forbidding any solid food. And finally, he'll die.

Radiations are fun to study, but they are less fun when they infect someone you know. You don't like using this stuff to shit the ghost's mouth, but you have worse. You remember trying this vaccine on mouses. After 2 days, weird shit happened. But you'll keep that story for another time.
“You're not hungry?”
While you were thinking, Reisen spoke to you. Unfortunately, the only thing you can think about now are those mouses. Whatever you want, you must eat something, or you'll collapse. When was the last time you eat? You don't remember.
“I guess I'll have bread, thank.”
Cool. Appetite will come after the first bread. The breakfast is quite boring. The girl left quickly after you sat, so you're alone with Reisen. Well, alone, minus the woman inside your head.

“So, you planned to visit patients, right?”
“Yeah. This way, we'll be able to know ourselves better, and you'll also be presented with famous people.”
“Fine for me.”
Famous people, hey? You hope they're normal. Oh please God, please please, make them normal!
“Fine then. I'll prepare the package, and we'll go.”

You should bring with you...
[] … Your whip.
[] … Medical equipment. Ask Reisen to give you some.
[] … Medicines. Ask Reisen to give you some.


Reisen carry her own supplies, so don't worry about her.
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[X] … Your whip.
-[X] Ask the ghost why she wanted to shag the doctor.
--[X] Point out that, becasue the ghost is in your body, if you shagged the doctor, the ghost would also be shagging her by proxy.
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[x] … Medical equipment. Ask Reisen to give you some.
-[X] Ask the ghost why she wanted to shag the doctor.
--[X] Point out that, because the ghost is in your body, if you shagged the doctor, the ghost would also be shagging her by proxy.
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[X] … Your whip, but attach it somewhere so we can carry medical supplies.
-[X] Ask the ghost why she wanted to shag the doctor.
--[X] Point out that, becasue the ghost is in your body, if you shagged the doctor, the ghost would also be shagging her by proxy.
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TOTALLY NOT our doctor
Vote called for medical equipment, and the write-in, because it looks fun.

Also, please be warned that our doctor isn't a Belmont. In other words, he has a whip, but it's mostly because it looks cool than anything else. He doesn't know how to use it, except as a string.
So, >>7078, don't try to change the whip's elemental status by sticking some medical stuff to it. It won't work.
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Well fuck.
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First try? Miss the picture.
Second try? BBS code is screwed.
Third try? This isn't reply mode, you created a new thread.
Fourth try? You noticed a huge typo you can't shrug off.

Update is delayed to later. Feel free to laugh at my misfortune.
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[x] Sit on the floor, try to meditate. Think zen.
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This is Izayoi
[x] … Medical equipment. Ask Reisen to give you some.
-[X] Ask the ghost why she wanted to shag the doctor.
--[X] Point out that, because the ghost is in your body, if you shagged the doctor, the ghost would also be shagging her by proxy.

Medical equipment is important. According to Renko, Reisen's medical skills are based on medicines. If you want to complete her training, you should teach her “traditional” medicine. Of course, sickness are cured with medicines, but you can't cure wounds or broken bones with medicines.
For example, you remember when your buddy Keith fell from the sixth floor right on the principal's car. You just had to grab his shoulder, and pull hard. He screamed a while, but in the end, he was fixed.
Of course, when the principal learned who crushed his car, he was quite mad. And then, Keith went to the hospital.

You ask Reisen to give you basic stuff. Obviously, there's not enough equipment to do a proper operation, but it's going to be just a weekly visit, right? Like, visiting the local grandmother, watch how they are doing, and leave with some smiles and cheers, right?
”You'll be surprised to see how local grandmothers are still lively.” Oh, hey, Miss Ghost is speaking again!
”The name's Mima. Call me Lady Mima.” You'll do as she wants, even if her name is quite silly. ”WHAT?” Why is she mad? You just think her name is quite silly! You're not saying her naming sense sucks balls on the beach!
”SHUT UP!” Funny, you think about something. Earlier, Mima suggested to shag Reisen. You wonder why.
”What the hell are you saying? I never said anything like that!” She's denying the obvious. Unlike her, you remember, in which she said “You plan to shag her, don't you?”
”I was talking about-” Yeah, about Reisen, you already know that. But why? Is she lesbian or something like that? Is she planning to attack Reisen in the bath, while her long and smooth hair are free, while her body is still wet from the bath, and while she's of course naked? Is she planning to wildly attack Reisen, tearing off her clothes, before pouring nutella all over her naked body, and softly, gently, licking every part of her body?
”FOR AMATERASU'S SAKE, NO!” Really? When why was she asking him to shag Reisen? Could it be... that she planned to shag Reisen by proxy? Good lord, that's clever! Eeeh, you mean disgusting. GOOD LORD, THAT'S DISGUSTING!

Hey, is she still here? She's not answering. Maybe she left? Bah, whatever.
You're now following Reisen, following her very closely. A little too closely, maybe. It's … because you want to be sure you won't get lost! After all, you're unarmed and stuff, so you shouldn't lose your only guide!
Well, you're not totally unarmed, since Reisen gave you a white box with a red cross on it, but you're pretty sure that you won't find weapons inside. Unless it contains a saw, or something like that. And even like that, after using shotgun and assault rifle, you know that a scalpel can't do shit against an experienced soldier. And all soldiers are experienced.
Bah, you shouldn't worry about something like that. Instead, you should talk with Reisen. Because, you were alone for a long time, so now, you should talk with lot of people! Or else your social bar will be empty, and you'll invent an imaginary friend.


“Well, first, we'll visit the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The maid here was overworking, so we'll check her state, and see if she's better. It should be simple.”
Scarlet Devil, hey? That's a name to run away from really fast. And you're going in. You're really crazy.

Well, what do you know. It's really a mansion. And it's really scarlet. It looks like some kind of … well you don't know. But it's huge. More than huge, in fact, it's massive. You can see, what, 5 towers? 4 of them are all over the mansion, disposed like watchtower. The last one, the highest, is a clock tower.
It reminds you Big Ben. Strangely, for the first time since a while, you miss London. Sure, it was an awful place to live, but it has history. And wonderful buildings.
“Say, Reisen?”
“Yes, Doctor?”
“There's this massive mansion. And there's a garden all around the mansion. And there's a wall all around the mansion. Right?”
Reisen's answer is hesitant. She doesn't understand where you're going.
“Well, yes...”
You rudely point at her, while dramatically speaking:
“If there is so much security in this place, when why is the main door opened without any guardian?”
“Who said there's no guardian here?”
You jump, while screaming in a shameful and girly way.

Later, after being calmed down by Reisen, and after scolding the newcomer about why it's not nice to surprise people from behind, you decide to present yourself. Or maybe it's proper to let Reisen present you? “Proper”, this is a a funny word. “More proper”. Hey. What about “properer”?
“Doctor, she is Hong Meiling. She's the door guard, the gardener, and sometimes the mansion's caretaker.”
The newcomer bows down. No, wait. You're the newcomer here. Rephrase that. Hong Meiling bows down in respect. Yeah, that's better. And then, Reisen presents you to her:
“Meiling, here's … the Doctor. He'll work with me for a while.”
Now that you watch her closely, you can say that this woman -Hong Meiling- is quite impressive. First of all, she's very tall. Maybe as tall as one of those horned guys back then underground. Hell, you even think she's taller than you. Second, despite her feminine figure, she's got some kind of “I'm strong” aura. Kinda like, you're walking outside, and then you see 4 thugs trying to molest that girl, and you don't even move, because you understand that she's going to kick asses, without even knowing her. Yep, you definitely don't want to piss off THAT woman.
Said woman who is blinking several times, before asking in a soft voice:
“Doctor? You don't have a name?”
And, of course, she had to ask that damn question! What's so important about names anyway?! Quick, invent some kind of excuse!
“Well, I walked alone for several years, and there was nobody to call me by my name, so I kind of forgot it.”
“I see. You must had an interesting life, doctor.”
Smiling gently, Hong Meiling leaves you, and return to the garden.
You look at Reisen, and ask, while smiling in a demented way:
“Well, shall we continue?”

The mansion's inside is disgustingly impressive. “Disgustingly” as “full of gold thingies who looks expensive, especially for a poor scientist who kind of lived in a van even though he had a job in a laboratory and was teaching in an university”.
“YOU LIVED IN A VAN? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Hey, looks like the bunny molester is still here! You thought she left!
”I'm not going to left so easily” Too bad for her, because you remember that sickness you studied back in Texas. It was like rabies, but even nastier. Caused nosebleed, mental confusion, and, for some reason, horror. Contaminated people end up clawing their own throats in fear.

Arguing silently against the evil ghost with a silly name, you follow Reisen around. You decide to stop the argument after entering in a room.
In this room, there was a bed. And in this bed, there was a girl. A very cute girl, but you feel like you already saw her before. Or did you? No, forget it, it's probably nothing. You probably saw her sister or something like that.
Half-sleeping, the girl rises from her bed, trying to greet the two of you. Or the three of you, including the ghost with a silly name. Without even thinking about it, you walk to her, and you gently push her back in her bed. She's obviously not well. No need to be a doctor to know it. But you have to admit that she's strong-willed. To be able to move with this fever, she's not anyone. Hell, just by petting her head, you can feel she's really hot.
Wait, you're petting her head? What the hell is wrong with you?! Stop that right now, Reisen may be watching you!!

A quick glance relieves you. Reisen isn't looking, she put her bag on the floor, and she's taking out several bottles. Pill, syrup, tablets... Seriously, that's too much.
Ha! She's not calling you doctor! She must be focused on her current task, then.
“Who is this girl?”
Asking the obvious, hey? It's unusually clever from you.
“Let me check... Her name is Elanor Izayoi. She's the maid here. Take care of everything. Clean the mansion, prepare meals, in short, everything.”
You put your hand on Izayoi's forehead. Good, she's burning! But this is not a proper symptom.
Putting the white box you've been carrying on the ground, you take a thermometer, and place it in Izayoi's mouth. As your fingers are touching her lips, you can't help but wonder how it feels to kiss her. Yes, your mind is focused on her, as a patient, but, just for a second, you were wondering how she would be, as a woman. Her skin is a little too pale, but perfect overall, with tidy hair, despite the fact that she's laying in her bed. Her eyes are staring silently at you, analyzing you, detailing your face with precision, but with benevolence. She doesn't know you, but she knows you're trying to help her, and that's enough for now.
“Reisen? You told me it was just overworking?”
“Yes. Look like it got worse. Excuse me, doctor, but can you leave the room for a while? I will be using the stethoscope on her, and she doesn't know you, so...”
“I understand. Now, excuse me...”
It was a very nice way to say: “she'll be half-naked, so fuck off, you male in heat!”. Or maybe you're overthinking it. Whatever, you leave them alone, and you go in the corridor.

That was quite dangerous back then. Good thing you went from “fooling around” to “serious doctor is doing serious business”. But you can't stay like this.
You're crazy. That's what you think. Well, it's logical, isn't it? After all, you woke up in the middle of nowhere, you saw little girls eating corpses, and you walked alone during several years, without talking to anyone. It's only logical that you're crazy.
But you're a scientist. When you're facing a problem, your mind become clear. You analyze the trouble, you cut it in several part, and you find how to fix each part, in order to fix the whole problem. That's who you are. You are a scientist, a being of logic.
That's how you were, back in this room. Renko, Reisen, and even Mima. You forgot everything when you saw that sick girl. You forgot everything, except your reflexes.
“Don't overdo it” was the first reflex. You quickly put the girl back in bed.
“Heart malfunction” was the second. You watch her face. She was red.
“Temperature regulation” was the third. She was too hot. Too much blood in the face, causing the fever and the blush.

You slide against the door. You feel tired. You don't understand why. Maybe you should take a break.
You look around you. You're alone in the corridor, except for the girl pushing a trolley. Looking closely, she has wings. Yeah. Wings. Maybe you should give up and recognize that this world is no longer logic.

You need a break.
[] Breath deeply, think about the past.
[] Visit the mansion. Finding secret passage may relax you, you were quite good with puzzles back then.
[] Sit on the floor, try to meditate. Think zen.


Sometimes, insanity can be a defense against bad memories. It was used a lot with Flandre, if I'm right. A trauma is certainly enough to make someone crazy. Speaking about that, is there any difference between "crazy" and "insane"? Which one is worse?
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[x] Breath deeply, think about the past.
[x] Sit on the floor, try to meditate. Think zen.

Other then the grammatical errors, This is a good update. Why? We get to learn about the MC's past, and why he's a fuckin' loon.

'crazy' and 'insane' are basically the same as 'mad' and 'rage'. It can be used to describe a certain thing with both words having the same meaning, Or in this case, Rage may mean being uncontrollably mad. There's really no proper difference between the two.

Anyways yeah, Good job as usual. As mandatory:
[x] Walk up to the fairy and Whip it out.
-[x] "Trust me, I'm a doctor."
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>grammatical errors
DANG. I guess I really can't do shit without a proofreader.

>We get to learn about the MC's past
I never planned to use the amnesia option in this story. Instead, I think that having a guy who doesn't care about his past, and who's even trying to forget it, may be more interesting than the usual amnesic guy waking up.
Of course, doctor lived a trauma, several traumas to be accurate, and he's trying to be as crazy as possible to forget them.
Either crazy, either alcoholic.

Also, I'm really interested by Anon here. I offer you a crazy choice, and you go for the quiet option.
One last thing: if you don't know her, Elanor Izayoi is from the story "Scarlet Clockwork".
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Well yeah, Of course we're going to choose the quiet option: The Doc needs some downtime sometimes. We all do.
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[x] Breath deeply, think about the past.

Maybe we'll learn something useful... or just have Mima have a go at us again
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Worst comes to worst we can talk about some sort of STD. We all know how much goasts love to talk about STD's right? Especially the zombai brand, which Mima may or may not be!
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Update delayed because of fresh wound.
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Koishi and the dutch mill
[x] Breath deeply, think about the past.
[x] Sit on the floor, try to meditate. Think zen.

You are tired. You can't go on like this. Acting like there's no tomorrow, following your whims randomly...
You sit on the ground, and you breathe deeply. It's time to think. Think about the future, think about the present, and think about the past.
When you left England, you swore that you would never think about the past. But, now, you understand that you really can't go on like that. Denying your own past is denying your human value, denying yourself.
And that's something you can't do. That's something you refuse to do. There are just too many things you tried to ignore.

You'll have to admit that this world is not the one you know. Winged servants, flying women without legs, little girls with rabbits ears... Perhaps you're dead for good. Perhaps you're delirious.
Perhaps you're actually in a straightjacket, quietly sleeping in some asylum room. You can't be sure.
Your hands are shaking. You know what that means. You're afraid. It's understandable, after all. You don't know anyone here, you don't even know if this world is real. You pinch your arm. It hurts. Does that means the world around you is true?
Stop thinking, right now. That's why you tried, since the beginning, to avoid this. You don't want to think because you know that you can't find any answers. Maybe you're dead, maybe you're witnessing a new age. Those people you met, maybe they're the next evolution of the human species? Or maybe they existed before that?
You slap your face. Stop trying to figure out the whole picture. Do it slowly, one piece at a time. First, let's say this is real. Okay. Say it. If you say it, you will accept it, and you won't have to look for excuses to explain strange events near you.
“This is real.”
“Excuse me?”

There's someone in front of you. Watching him closely, you can say that he's fairly young, maybe as old as the girl you just left. And, for some reason, you already hate his guts.
Without waiting for an answer, he speaks:
“And yet, I asked Meiling to not let tramps come in. She's really too kind with your kind.”
You clench your teeth. This guy thinks you're a beggar? That's brave of him!
”Consider your actual situation. You're sitting on a corridor, you're dirty, not shaved, and your clothes are just horrible.” Just shup up, imaginary friend! You never asked for her opinion in the first place!
You jump to your feet, facing the newcomer. Well, basically, you're the newcomer, but this guy is even newer than you! He's younger than you, so he's newer!
“Who are you calling a tramp, asshole?”
You lose your temper, being ruder than usual. But this guy isn't impressed.
“As the Scarlet Devil Mansion's butler, it's my function to greet guests. But honestly, you don't look like a guest.”
You smile in the most devilish way you're able to.
“Soo, so you're a butler? How does it feels to be an underling?”
Considering his sudden pale face, you hit a nerve. Satisfaction, jubilation. For some reason, hurting this guy makes you feel happy.
“I am nobody's underling. I work for my own. Unlike you, I'm stronger enough to decide myself.”
He gets on your nerves. You don't really know why, but you hate this guy. Maybe it's his arrogance, or the fact that he's well-dressed, unlike you. Or the fact that he looks like someone who DIDN'T walked for several years to reach a hypothetical shelter. Wait, is this jealousy?
“So don't push your luck, tramp, or you'll wake up dead during your sleep!”
“If Reisen wasn't behind that door, I would cut you into pieces like a Christmas turkey!”
Stop that, it's ridiculous. You're picking a fight against a guy you don't even know, just because he pissed you off? That's stupid, even for you.
“If Elanor wasn't sick, I would strangle you to death with your own entrails!”

You couldn't notice it before, but while you were exchanging kind words with the butler, Reisen and that girl, Izayoi, they both came out of the room, only to find you two glaring at each other, with obvious murderous will. You only notice her when she starts speaking.
“Would you two stop already, please?”
It's Izayoi's turn to speak after Reisen:
“Yes. You disappoint me, Butler, I though you wouldn't be the kind of guy looking for a fight against a guest.”
The butler's face is hilarious. He looks like a kid caught stealing beer from the family's barrel. Serves him right, arrogant asshole.
“The same goes for you, doctor. This man is very respected here, I wasn't expecting you to pick a fight with him.”
It's your turn to look like a kid. Being scolded by Reisen is completely a surprise.

Pointing the butler, you use the most famous excuse:
“He started it! He called me a tramp!”
But the butler's answer is shameful! You're really ashamed to hear that! That's really a kid's excuse!
“No, he started it!”
It's fine when you're the one using pathetic excuse, but when it's someone else, that's a really shameful thing to do! You turn your back to Reisen, facing the butler again.
“No! You started it!”
“No! It was you!”
“It was you!”
And he kicks you in the leg. You quickly grab him, and throw him away. Unexpectedly, he stops in mid-air, and glares at you with a sneering smile.

After that, it became a bit hazy. You barely remember pouncing him, throwing him on the ground, and, after a while, biting his leg. But that's all. You're sure you punched him several times, just like he punched you.
When your memory is clear, you're on your back, with Reisen pressing your shoulder on the ground. You make a contorted face, mainly because you're hurts, and also because you acted in a shameful way in front of Reisen. And maybe also because she's obviously stronger you, hmm?
“Calm down, doctor! I don't know how it started, but it's really ridiculous to fight like this!”
You don't look at her, because you don't want to see her disappointed face. You had a new life, a new job, and, on your first day, you picked a fight against a worthless underling.
“Now, now, what's this?”

Ten minutes later, you shake the butler's hand. Reisen and Izayoi decided that, since you were fighting like kids, you should fix that like kids. But neither of you is stupid. Each of you try to crush the other one's hand. Without modesty, you can say that you won this round. You're stronger than him.
Bending on you, he whispers in your ear:
“We'll meet again, sir. And next time, I'll crush you with extreme pleasure.”

“So, what was that?”
You try to speak with Reisen. You left the mansion 10 minutes ago, and she kept her mouth shut since.
“Oh, the maid? A little fever. She went in a damp place, and got something nasty. Gave her some medicines, since she insisted on working as soon as possible.”
Reisen's voice is strange. It's like she's keeping her mouth as closed as possible. Is she really that angry after you?

Hell, everything happened because you were thinking about the past! That proves that the past is dangerous! You shouldn't think about the past anymore, it's a shit-magnet!

But about Reisen...
[] Tickle her. Try to relax the atmosphere.
[] Ignore that. If she's annoyed with you, she just have to say it directly to your face.
[] Speak about something. The Eientei, the Scarlet Devil Mansion, or something like that.


Protip: do not write while being tired. And also, do not pick your nose while watching scary movies.
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[x] Tickle her. Try to relax the atmosphere.
Damn, that looks nasty.
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[x] Tickle her. Try to relax the atmosphere.

What can I say? I think this actually fits the doctor...
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I'm prolly looking into this too much, but I think tickling her would make The Doc decline back into insanity. However I am most likely wrong.

[x] Tickle her. Try to relax the atmosphere.

It's nice to see a sane Doc.
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[x] Tickle her. Try to relax the atmosphere.

I hear this is pretty good medicine.
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> It's nice to see a sane Doc.

Yes it is.
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Best death
[x] Tickle her. Try to relax the atmosphere.

Mmm. You don't like the atmosphere. You don't know what Reisen is thinking, and you hate that. You need to know everything about everyone. That's your “evil mastermind” side. Or maybe that's because you played too much The Sims. Whatever the reason is, you now need to know what everyone's doing, and what everyone's thinking. Is she happy? Is he angry? Is she hungry?
The only way to know is to trigger a reaction. Now, what's best - screw logic, let's tickle her! Because it's fun!

Silently sneaking right behind Reisen, ninja-style, you suddenly attack her armpits! First, she screams in a surprised way, and then, she begins shaking and laughing in an uncontrolled way!
At first, that's funny, but when she accidentally punches you in the face, it's less funny.
“Why did you do that?!”
“Sorry” is all you can say, with your nose bleeding.
”Now that's interesting. It's not a normal behavior to tickle someone who's pissed at you.”
First of all, she invades your head, and now she's commenting your actions?! That won't do. She should shut her mouth before you seriously decide to screw her up.
”I'm looking forward to see you screwing me when I'm haunting you.”
You remember briefly working on genetic side-effects of radiation poisoning. Unstable DNA triggered several nasty things. Children with several arms, eyeless face, and, in the worst case, something that you couldn't even call “human”. Even by your own standards. You remember “working” on a noseless baby once. It was kind of disturbing.

“Sorry?! You just attacked me!”
Aaaand back to the logic world. The world where Reisen is standing in front of you, looking furious. And claiming you just attacked her. Making no sense.
“That was just tickling, Reisen. Because you were pouting. Pouting is kind of cute, but when we're alone, it's kind of silent! AND I CAN'T STAND SILENCE!”
The last sentence was unexpectedly shouted. For some reason, you couldn't control yourself, and you ended up screaming that to Reisen's face. Said Reisen who's somehow startled by this, you honestly don't know why. Perhaps she's not used to having something screaming in her face?
“I.. wasn't pouting!”
She try a pathetic comeback. This is so pathetic that you almost smile.
“Yes you were pouting.”
“No I wasn't!”
“Yyyyyyyyyes, Reisen.”
In an obvious attempt to piss her off, you use your slowest and lowest tone. You sounds like Barry White.
Your attempt to piss off Reisen is working fine. Now it's time for the second phase.
“So, what were you doing then? Reisen?”
“I was holding back my laugh.”
You feel like you're the one being a laughing matter now. Is she lying to you? Is she serious? Is she an extraterrestrial? Is Mima finally going to get the fuck out instead of laughing in your head?
“Tell me moar in detail plz!”
You used slang without noticing it. Are you seriously that screwed up? Ah, look at what you have done! Now Reisen is blushing, and Mima is frantically laughing!
“W-well, it's because Master was always so serious and stuff, and I though that every doctor would be like her, and in fact you're quite like the others, you pick fights just because you feel like it, and, well, you're human.”
“Sorry about being human! I never planned to become a heartless scientist doing experiments on innocents!”
And yet you did those experience in this asylum several years ago. You're still feeling guilty for this, it's not going to disappear so easily.
“It's not what I meant! I mean that Master was always 'think before, act after', and you're totally not like her, and-”
“Sorry about being an headless chicken!” You scream back at her.
“That's not what I mean, one more time, and... I give up. Just... follow me and try to not pick a fight with the next patient.”
“Easy done.”

No, that's not easily done at all.
Reisen forgot to mention who was the next patient. And, guess what? It was Satori! Yes, the mind-reading girl from the underground! And guess WHERE she was? In the Myouren shrine! You don't know who the fuck was Myouren, but you don't like his followers! Especially that girl in tracksuit. She recognized you immediately, and tried to knock you down.
Of course, being the intelligent life form you are, you decided to act in an intelligent to keep yourself unharmed. But grabbing her, and throwing her against a wall, while screaming “taste that wall!” wasn't a good idea. Especially considering the huge noise, and Reisen's disappointed look.
And, look! The tracksuit girl is rising from her grave to fight one more time!
“Fighting you. I.. am impatient!” She said, trying to look threatening.
“You're a patient? Drop your pants, bend over and cough. Trust me, I'm a doctor.”
“You're a doctor?”
Her genuine surprised look piss you off. Is that really so unbelievable? Of course, for someone materialist like her, who only know about the shrine you ruined and about the two girls you beat using a third girl, it can be hard to believe.
“But, yeah, I'm a doctor. I came here following Reisen.”
Mouth wide opened, eyes wide, “IT'S NOT POSSIBLE” written all over her face... She won't be able to work for a while.
You walk to her, taking a light from your case, and you point it in her eyes. Pupils? No reaction. You check her breath. She's breathing regularly. Good.
“So, where's the patient?”
You ask Reisen. Said Reisen who's rolling over the floor, frantically laughing. Like Mima wans't enough.

In the end, you couldn't help with this patient either. Reisen gently kicked you out the room, saying something about private exam. You wonder if she's using the “doctor” title as an excuse to be alone with other girls. You're wondering what she hopes to do alone to an unconscious girl, without any help.
To spend time, you walk around the Shrine. Yaay. That's really funny, walking around alone.
”I'm still here. I'm always here. Enjoy me.”
Too bad that ghost doesn't have a body, you would be glad to enjoy her in a different way.
Hold on, did you just though that?
” That sounds interesting. But I must pass.”
Okay, so she's too scared. She chickened out. Chicken, chicken, she's a chicken!
”Using such a childish trick on me isn't going to work. I'm not Reisen.”
She's too damn smart for your own good. You have to get rid of her.

Okay, now that's something unexpected.
There's a mummy in this shrine.
Yes, a mummy. You think it's called a “sokushinbutsu”. But, to be frank, you never expected to see one for real.
Sokushinbutsu. You're shaking with excitation. For a biologist like you, it's like a Holy Grail. You see, usually, a dead body is quickly infected by maggots. But sometimes, after a long and painful death (often starvation AND suffocation), the body will be in such a way that necrophagous critters won't attack it. To be accurate, the long death will triggers vomiting, loss of bodily fluids, and loss of weight. Besides, most of those monk drinks poisoned water to poison their bodies.
In short, the whole process depends from the monk's willpower. If he can stand living and dying with a poisoned body, said body will be left untouched by maggots.

In this case, this is a successful case of accomplished mummification. You don't really want to imagine how much that woman suffered, but the result is here!
You're facing a mummified woman, sitting in a lotus position. From a spiritual side, she's a buddha. From a biologic side, it's a wonder she managed to do that!

Looking around the mummy, you noticed that your step leads you further than you planned. The room where Reisen disappeared is nowhere to be seen, so you must be near the shrine's main entrance. The room is well decorated. That mummy must be really respected, they didn't put her in a closet or anything.
You're not really sure about the behaviour toward those sokushinbutsu. You know they're respected, but you though it was outdated to do such things. Dying to help other peoples. Who can possibly do that? That's stupid! You can't help people if you are dead!
While you're thinking about the best way to help people, you notice that the mummy is holding a paper. And you have serious doubt about this being an habit. Yep. You're pretty sure that it's forbidden to touch those sokushinbutsu. After all, even if the corpse is mummified, it's still very fragile. It won't fall into pieces, but bones can break, and putting it back in position might be difficult.

[] Curiosity killed the cat. But you're not a cat, so get that thing, it might be useful. Or interesting.
[] No risk, no fun. But being killed because you touched a mummy isn't what you call “fun”. Don't touch her.
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[x] Curiosity killed the cat. But you're not a cat, so get that thing, it might be useful. Or interesting.
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[x] Curiosity killed the cat. But you're not a cat, so get that thing, it might be useful. Or interesting.
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[x] No risk, no fun. But being killed because you touched a mummy isn't what you call “fun”. Don't touch her.
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[x] Curiosity killed the cat. But you're not a cat, so get that thing, it might be useful. Or interesting.
Bad end number one is a go.
[x] If the mummy comes back to life, whip it out. She wont worry because she knows you're a doctor.
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Mummy = dead guy.
Dead people don't come back to life, you silly.
Peoples die when they are killed! Or when they kill themselves, like Yorimasa and that mummy.
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[x] If its dead, whip it out anyways. Its spirit will know you're a doctor.
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[x] Curiosity killed the cat. But you're not a cat, so get that thing, it might be useful. Or interesting.
bah what the hell, why not.
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So, of course, I have connection troubles, so I decide to warn you, in case you care, and just after that, everything is fixed.

Update coming soon, maybe even this evening.
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Koishi is a Byrdo
[x] Curiosity killed the cat. But you're not a cat, so get that thing, it might be useful. Or interesting.

You don't know what's this mummy holding, but it might be important. Hell, who are you kidding?! You're just awfully curious, that's all! But it's okay, it's not like this mummy will curse you if you touch her.

You put your medical box on the floor, and you open it.
To avoid damaging the mummy, you can't touch her directly. You'll have to use several tools to get shit done. Clip, spreader, and that should be enough.
Leaning on the mummy, you softly grab the paper with the clip, while gently spreading her fingers with the spreader. Her hold is awfully tight, and you have to be patient to not break her fingers. It's like she died while holding that damn paper!
After several minutes, you manage to take the paper off. You immediately put back all your tools in the box, and you try to read what's written on the paper.
Yeah. You're quite fluent in Japanese, but hand-written stuff with odd sentences structures? This will be difficult to translate. You can't do that here, you'll have to be in a safe place.

You turn your back to the mummy, and you walk back to Reisen. If you're fast enough, maybe you'll be able to see her exams. After all, Renko sent you here to teach her, and all you've been doing was following her like a puppy and creating problems. You can no longer keep fighting against people you don't know!
In other words, next time you'll find that girl in track suit or that butler, you'll ask their name before crushing them against the closest wall. Thinking about that, you weren't using your fists before. Back then, you were mostly using weapons to defeat your enemies. But you're stronger now, and it's funnier to crush your opponent with your damn bare hands. You weren't that strong before. There's something wrong with that, now that you think about it. Perhaps you should study it. On second hand, forget it. You're a biologist. Either you're studying stuff being too small to notice it, either you're studying dead stuff who won't complain anyway. Studying living stuff is too bothersome.
Maybe you should ask Reisen to study you.
“Hey Reisen, I don't know why, but suddenly I'm stronger than an average human.” No, that sounds completely stupid, even for you. What does she know about human strength? She's not studying anything, she's just giving medicines.
Headache? Medicine.
Butthurt? Medicine.
Heart attack? Medicine.
From what you saw so far, for Reisen, everything can be solved with medicines. For you biologist, that's just plain creepy. How can you fix genetic mutation with medicines? How can you force an organism to evolve? With medicines? You would like to see such medicines. And perhaps inject yourself such medicine. You wonder what a human evolves into. Angel?
“I'm done here, let's go back to the Eientei.”
“Yeah, sure.”
That's completely crazy and stupid. So it's something to do. You should ask Reisen if- hold on, you just talked with somebody, right? Who did you talked with? A quick glance, hurry.

A firm ass, a bunny tail hidden by a wonderful japanese kimono, a box full of suspicious medicines, bunny ears. Either it's Reisen, either it's a body snatcher. It's obviously a body snatcher. Be careful around it. It might be aggressive all of a sudden, without any reason. Kinda like a football supporter. It's nice and stuff, AND SUDDENLY it jumps at you and tries to open your throat. Now that you think about it, Reisen is a moon rabbit, right? A white moon rabbit, with red eyes, right? Kinda, like, the kind of white rabbit ready to slice your throat open without any provocation? You decide to check your inventory, in case you have a holy hand grenade somewhere.
In your inventory, you have:
-a box full of medical tools, most of them being sharp. Not really weapons, but they can be useful to intimidate an opponent.
-no holy hand grenade.
-a paper, containing hand-written old japanese. You can't translate it now, you'll need time.
-absolutely no holy hand grenade.
In short, if Reisen decides to taste your blood with her tiny, sharp little teeth, you're done for.

“AAAAAHH yes Reisen?”
“Are you okay?”
“Of course I am! Silly Reisen!” Damn she's smart. You tried to walk away from her slowly, but she understood what you were trying to do, and she caught on you. You can't outsmart her for now, you have to be cautious until you're back to the Eientei. Once you're in, you'll be safe. Totally safe and sound, son. Of course, the mansion itself is FULL OF RABBITS, but there's nothing to worry about, right? Right? It's not like they're going to nibble your throat while you're sleeping, right? Right?
”Well, what do you know? I'm not really sure about that.”
Oh, hey, Zuul is back. You though she left several hours ago! Maybe it's time to think about some crazy shit you did back when you were still in England!
” There's no need for that. After all, I can help you.”
HAHAHA, Miss You-ruined-my-shrine-so-I'm-going-to-haunt-you wants to help you? What kind of crazy world is that? She's a ghost! She's a bad guy! Well, bad gal. Anyway! She's supposed to be your enemy! She can't help you. You won't accept her help. Because accepting your imaginary friend's help is admitting that you suck. And you don't. You walked all alone, evading cannibals monsters, demented survivors, and environmental hazard! You're not going to lay down, and say “I suck”. You won't give up, you'll keep fighting. Because you are yourself. And giving up isn't in your dictionary. As long as there's a way to do things properly, according to your own sense of honor, you try to do them that way. If there's really no other way, then, sometimes, you can say “fuck” to honor and keep yourself alive. But you can't count on anybody else. Friends? HA! They'll all try to kill you if they can earn something from it. They offer you gift, and they take it back, saying you're ungrateful. Take back your goddamned shit, assholes! You don't need a fancy shirt like that! Pink fancy shirt, disgusting!
Of course, while you were thinking, you reached Eientei, and you went to your room. That paper might be interesting, considering where you found it. This is going to take a while, but you have all your life to read it, so let's go.

It took a a while, but you made it in less than 5 minutes. Rewriting half-erased stuff, editing some oddly structured sentences here and here, and it's done. Now, you can read it properly.
This is I, Byakuren Hijiri, and what you're reading is my last will. I can figure that either I failed at holding this straight, or either you took it from my lifeless fingers. Whoever you are, I hope you paid respect to me. It's an awful thing to be left for dead, even through I was the one asking for it.
There are several reasons for me to do such a thing, to throw away my own life. But I'm not writing this to complain about my choices, nor to explain my reasons. I'm writing this for the future. And, from my point of view, it doesn't look good. The Great Hakurei Border is collapsing, because the Shrine Maiden died, which means that all youkais will have to face the world. I don't think the world will accept them, and I'm fearing a bloodbath. Whoever you are, I hope you can forget your hate, and help the other side, whoever they are too. I'm making the biggest sacrifice for everyone, throwing away my own life. That's something I never planned to do, but I'm doomed anyway.

You don't really know that “Byakuren”, but you know that she must be on drugs very often. Helping youkais? Wait, was she speaking about those youkais? The cannibals little girls trying to eat you? They were youkais since the beginning? And Byakuren wants you to help them? Hell, Byakuren can die for all you care. “Giving up” isn't in your dictionary, neither is “mercy”. It's rather the opposite. When you pick a fight against someone, you use everything you have to defeat it. Trickery, weapons, really everything. As long as you declared your intention, you're not going to give up until one of you is down. And you're not going to change to please a mummy. Translating that shit was a waste of time! Taking a bath or cutting your nails was far more important. Especially cutting your nails, you look like a vampire with those.
Leaving your room, you walk to the batroom totally randomly without any idea where you're going.

[] It's time to live up to your family name! Well, you don't remember your family name, but you're sure it was something awesome! You'll ask a rabbit to lead you to the bathroom.
[] It's time to be a wimpy coward! Try to find it by yourself. Of course, there's a chance you might find the wrong room (like Reisen's bedroom), but at least, you won't have to face one of those blood-thirsty rabbit!
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[x] It's time to live up to your family name! Well, you don't remember your family name, but you're sure it was something awesome! You'll ask a rabbit to lead you to the bathroom.
[x] Our family name was Whipitout, so lets do just that!
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[x] It's time to live up to your family name! Well, you don't remember your family name, but you're sure it was something awesome! You'll ask a rabbit to lead you to the bathroom.
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[X] It's time to live up to your family name! Well, you don't remember your family name, but you're sure it was something awesome! You'll ask a rabbit to lead you to the bathroom.
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[x] It's time to live up to your family name! Well, you don't remember your family name, but you're sure it was something awesome! You'll ask a rabbit to lead you to the bathroom.
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[x] Item:
-[x] Whip.

Who the fuck would face an EX boss with only a whip and a revolver? Oh, wait, we would.

>Mainly because you found what you missed in that paper, and also because you always wanted to do that. But enough fun, let's talk about serious business.

I bet your proofer is just euheuheuheuheuheuhing right now.
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Too fucking hot
I am my own proofreader for today.

And yes, I am euheuheuheuheuheuhing right now. Too damn hot.
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This is going to hurt
[x] It's time to live up to your family name! Well, you don't remember your family name, but you're sure it was something awesome! You'll ask a rabbit to lead you to the bathroom.

Walking around randomly? No thanks. Better ask some rabbit to lead you, and it'll be the perfect way to show them you're not afraid!
You call a girl passing by totally randomly, and you ask her in a pretty good japanese is she can leads you to the bathroom. But she doesn't answer, just staring you in a scary way. You begin shaking, but you decide to shrug it off, and ask again.
“Could you show me where the bathroom is?”
In vain. The girl-rabbit just stare at you. You feel more and more uneasy. Funny how those bunnies are similar. Except Reisen. But she's a moon bunny, so it's obvious she's different. Reisen. You knew another Reisen before, did you? Or is it your imagination?
“N-nevermind, I'll find it a-alone..”
You smile awkwardly, trying to save the day by pretending being unable to stay any longer with her. Good thing you're not a dog, or else your tail would be hiding between your legs. Well, you do have a tail, in a sense, but you're not a dog. Thinking about that, if you were a dog, you wouldn't be able to worry about anything. Hell, who are you kidding? You just CAN'T worry about shit. Act or do not act, but being worried about something is useless.
You leave the rabbit here, and you walk back to you room, when a female low-pitched voice comes out of freaking nowhere and scares the shit out of you.
“What about saying 'please'?”
That... that was that little girl? Is she scolding you or some shit like that?
“Could... you leads me to the bathroom, please?”
“No.” BITCH! “However, I can tell you it's right behind you.”

Thinking about that rationally, you were awfully rude. But you weren't expecting such reactions. Scolding you like if she was your grandmother. Just who the hell was she? Not just some rabbit, obviously. She must be very self-confident to do that kind of shit. And also pretty arrogant. The kind of people you can manipulate by attacking their confidence or something like that. Not that you're really into manipulation, but sometimes it can gets shit done for no sweat. But before trying anything, you'll have to ask Reisen for information about that girl.
Bah, you'll think about that later. For now, you'll better get clean real fast. You're in the bathroom right now, and … well it's nothing like your 21th century bathroom, but it's the first real bathroom you saw in ages, so you don't care. You throw your clothes all around the room, and you jump in the bath.
Well, it's a bit cold, but at least you feel totally awake now. No, correction, it's cold. Totally cold. Maybe there's something you forgot to turn on. Speaking about that, you don't think they're using gasoline here. Bah, screw that, a cold bath is fine too.
”Not really fine, if you ask me. Look at you! You're all cold and spineless!”
Cold and spineless? Did you asked for her opinion? Not really. Besides, what does she means ... oh, you got it. Spineless, soft, flabby, limp. Nice way to say that.
”Also, that's just me, but did you missed something in Byakuren's word?”
Byakuren's word? The will you took from the mummy's lifeless hands? That hippy piece of crap? What about it? What did you missed?
”I'm. Not. Going. To. Tell.”
Sometimes, you wish you could spank ghosts. But don't think about things like that, you have to focus. 5 minutes should be enough. What was it, exactly? You have to remember every word.
Raising from the cold bath, you scream:
Mainly because you found what you miss in that paper, and also because you always wanted to do that. But enough fun, let's talk about serious business.

Byakuren did said something interesting, unlike you previously though. You'll have to thank Mima for this. When you found yourself in Spain, naked and completely confused, the world wasn't yours. Or, to say it in another way, it was not the world you lived in. In the world you knew, mankind was still almost all right. In this new world, mankind is nothing but some very rare survivors, trying their best to keep living despite the cannibals monsters “youkai” living all around. You never really though about it, but this mess was caused by something.
And now, you have this: The Great Hakurei Border is collapsing, because the Shrine Maiden died, which means that all youkais will have to face the world. . Now, think about it deeply. Considering that “youkai” is the japanese word for those cannibals grues fooling around, it means that they appeared because that border collapsed.
Hakurei, hey? You'll ask Reisen about this. You don't have anything left to do but teach Reisen, and learn what really happened. And teaching Reisen feels kind of bad. She's nice and stuff, but each time there's a patient, she gently kicks you out. She doesn't want you. But you're not here to care about her feelings, but to teach her that everything can't be cured with pills. It'll be difficult, and you'll have to know her better before that. You can't learn from someone you scorn. Reisen isn't scorning you, but she's not considering you as a superior, not even an equal.
Oh, ho? Hallucinations are back? You're now seeing Renko, fully clothed, smoking right in front of you.
“Well, hello Renko. What's up?”
“Before anything, I want to talk to you alone.”
Leaning over you, she puts a paper on your forehead, and speaks again.
“Sorry about that, that's to get rid of that ghost haunting you. I need to give you something, and I received orders to not let her interfere.”
So Mima is no longer here? That's stupid, but for some reason you feel lonely all of a sudden. But that's not the time to have feelings. Business first.
“So, nevermind the fact that I'm naked, but what can I do for you?”
Without answering, she gives you an envelope. The A3 kind of envelope. You stare at it blankly, and raise your head to ask Renko. She's no longer here. You get out the bath.

Now that's just plain creepy. You opened the envelope Renko gave before disappearing. You found 2 things inside. The first is a very detailed map. The other is a revolver. You're not an expert, but you can say that's a big gun. According to the small label, that's a Taurus Raging Bull Model 444. And it's full. 6 rounds. You glance at the map. It's a handmade map of the Bamboo Forest around the mansion, with handwritten inscriptions all over it. You read several inscriptions. It's written “go left”, “go right”, and “stop reading that map and get ready!”. The last one is kind of creepy. As much as Renko's sudden appearance and disappearance.
You want to take a while to think about the wasp nest you put your hand in, but according to that map, there's not enough time to fool around.

You're ready. You're still wearing the same dirty clothes, but at least you feel clean. Taking your whip and your new revolver, you leave the mansion. Luckily, while you were bathing, night came. So nobody can notice you sneaking away. Isn't that convenient? Too convenient. You feel a trap. Be on your guard.

After 30 minutes following the map, you finally reach a little clearing. Good thing you had this map, or you would already be lost by now. Well, that's a very nice clearing by the way. It gives you that “something will happen here” impression, but your guts can't be trusted. Or can they? There's something wrong here. You don't like it.
Yes. That little bloody thing here is Koishi. You don't like that. You walk, no you run to her. But something stops you. That “oh-shit-this-is-it” feeling.

Slowly, Koishi stands, and start walking. You don't like that. Her whole body is covered in blood. You have goosebumps. Blood seems to be pouring from those blue strings. You're shaking. The blue orb that was supposed to be here is no longer here. You're scared. Her path is as bloody as her body.
For some reason, that orb was severed, and the result is... well, right in front of you. And that's not pretty.
Still slowly walking, watching a point next to you, Koishi takes off her hat, and start singing:
“My hat is my best friend. Always here, it sees what I see, it likes what I likes, and it seeks as I seeks.”
You wish you studied psychology instead of biology. Because you never studied mind-reader biology back then.
“I have no eyes, and I must cry. I have no eyes, and I must see. I have no heart, and I must live.”
Something is changing with Koishi. You don't know how to describe it, but... it looks like she's going feral. Yes, feral is probably the best word. You can see sanity and logic being replaced by instinct.

That girl is going nuts. Bring her back to the mansion, and ask Reisen for her help. That sickness won't be healed with just pills. And you're fairly certain Koishi won't come along as easily as you wish.

[] Attack.
[] Item:
-[] Whip.
-[] Revolver. You don't want to kill her.
[] Magic:
-[] Confusion. She's already confused.
-[] Frenzy. She's already frenzied.
[] Run away.
[] Surrender.
[] Reason her.


Updates will probably be more sporadic from now on. It's getting hot here, and it's troublesome to write when you have sweat all over your face. Besides, it's not good for the computer. And I can't proofread while sweating. And also my connection is cheap recently. And I can fill the whole website with my troubles, so I'm going to shut up and write.

Update edited, added a stupid choice leading to a hilarious bad end.
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[X] Item:
-[X] Whip.

And the obligitory <i>{O} Whip it out/-{O} "Don't worry, I'm a doctor"</i> vote.
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Hey! That's my jig!
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[x] Attack.
[x] Item:
-[x] Whip.
Indy style.
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No more games
[x] Item:
-[x] Whip.

You don't know who you're facing, but you're sure that this girl isn't the Koishi you met several days ago. This is not the best moment to wonder how ripping that eye off affected her, but you know one thing for sure. You're dead meat if she catches you.
In other words, it's time to be serious. You take your whip. You don't really know what you're going to do with it, but you have to knock her off. Of course, the simplest way would be to whip her ass until she's back to her senses, but you're pretty sure that only work in adult books. No, you have to attack her indirectly.

“I'm looking for my heart? Have you seen it? It's small, blue and round, round, round, like a baby?”
Okay, now this is really scary. Still holding her hat and smiling, Koishi is coming near. At first, that's not really a problem, since you have to be quite close to attack her, but you feel something... ungood. You don't know how to describe it, but even a human like you can feel it. There's something wrong with this girl, something worse than seeing her covered in blood, her eye being torn off, her sanity being gone. It's something you can't see, but it's giving you goosebumps.
And, then, in a flash, you realize it. That girl is dead. No, that's incorrect. It's more like she gave up on life.

Holding your whip like a cord, you charge Koishi head first, aiming for her chest. Your goal is to tie her down, and bring her to Reisen quickly. But you underestimated her youkai strength.
All you see is a knee coming for you. After that, there are stars everywhere, and when you're back to your senses, Koishi already grabbed you. Right now, the scene is quite ridiculous. With only one hand around your neck, she holds you firmly. You feel like that extra from Star Wars, being strangled by Dark Vador. Except that Dark Vador asks questions. Koishi doesn't.
She doesn't want answer. She's just playing with you like a cruel kid. Right now, she's putting her blue strings around your neck. You though they were just strings, but you can feel them pulsating. They aren't strings, but blood vessels. Even in your difficult condition -being strangled to death with blood vessels looking like strings- you can't help but wonder how her body is working. Was that eye like a heart? Or like a brain? Or was it another organ you don't know yet?

Humming happily, Koishi pulls the strange blood vessels, strangling you even more. You can feel your body becoming warm. You're being covered in blood. How ironic, you're dying like that, and yet your body will be a real mess. As if! You can't die here! There are so much things to do! Getting your revenge! Studying Koishi! Understanding what happened! Try your new toy! HELL YES, THE GUN! You tried to forgot it, because you didn't want to hurt Koishi. But you don't have any choice now. You kill her or she kills you. You grab the revolver, and point it to Koishi's face. She's still smiling happily, almost innocently.
“Open your mouth, and swallow my long and cold thing!”
You shoot.

You're coughing. I mean, really coughing. The noise was louder than expected, and your arm aches now. You'll need both your hands to shoot with this pistol. When you shot, recoil hurt your arm,. You're fairly sure you heard a cracking noise, but when you checked, your arm wasn't broken.
Koishi is on the ground, with a big hole in the forehead. You think you should have remorse, but you can't. Yeah, she looks like a little girl, and yeah, you were attracted by her. You feel like you should help her instead of shooting her, but... IT WAS THE ONLY DAMN WAY!
You scream in vain. That's not going to help you. But at least, you feel better.

The clearing smells like powder now. You quickly inspect the revolver. 5 bullets left. Good. Now, what should you do with Koishi's corpse? You walk to her, wondering if you should take it with you to the mansion. As a biologist, you're really interested in her metabolism, especially the missing eye. Well, implying it was really an eye, of course. Thinking about that, Satori's orb has an eye on it, but you never saw Koishi's having one. Why do you think it was an eye all of a sudden? Perhaps you should stop thinking about crap, and just take her-
Hold on, hold on!
She's breathing? You open her shirt, revealing her small chest. Usually, you would be annoyed by looking at a little girl's bare chest, but now, you're not a man, you're a scientist. In your current mental state, nothing is important but progress and science. You lower your head against her chest, putting your cheek against her white and soft belly.
DAMN YOU YOUKAIS? DON'T YOU EVER DIE? Okay, time to change your plans. You can't make an autopsy. Ethic doesn't allow this on a living subject. But now, you'll be able to study her, and maybe heal her! So, nothing's changed! You quickly tie her hands together, put her on your back, and you run back to the mansion.

“Violating the curfew? You've got some nerves, boy.”
Hey, that's the little bunny from earlier.
“Emergency case. I was requested to find that person and bring her here.”
Without even blinking, the little rabbit keep asking:
“Why are you covered in blood? Is that some new fashion? Youngsters those days... Back in the day, blood was gross, and-”
“Don't talk like a grandma, you don't look like one.”
You cut her rudely. Her babbling is getting on your nerves, even if you're a very nice person, there are still borders. But the rabbit doesn't take that as an offense, and decides to laugh instead.
“You can't trust your eyes, boy.”
“Speaking about eyes, I wonder what yours can see? I wonder if you can notice the fact that I'm covered in blood, while carrying a mutilated mind-reading girl on my back.”
“Ha, that was mutilation? I though she just had her period.”
“THAT'S DISGUSTING, CHRIST! I'm the only one allowing to joke like that.”
It wasn't just a joke. There was jealousy in her voice. How old is this girl? I'll ask her later. Right now, Koishi goes first.
“Anyway, I'll take you to the exam room.”
“Is that necessary?”
You ask in disbelief. Is she really going to help you instead of taking you for a fool?
“Noooo, of course not! You can try and heal that girl here, on the mud! I don't see anything wrong with that!”
She's making fun of you. But that's your fault. You're so serious all of a sudden, you should take a quick breather, and rise your “fool-o-meter” jauge.
You yell while pointing over the girl's shoulder. Of course, to point at something, you need a hand. But your hands were busy holding Koishi on your back, so to be able to point at something, you had to free one of your hands before pointing. And, of course, while you were pointing at an imaginary giant bird, Koishi fell from your back.

“What do you think, Reisen?”
You're now in the examination room, alone with the unconscious Koishi, and Reisen. Said Reisen who's wearing a cute white pajama with carrot pattern all over it. It's really cute, but you're not in the mood.
“I think Master had some medicines here. If she-”
“Reisen. We're dealing here with a hole. Basically, there's a hole in her face. I don't think some pill can fix that.”
You're slightly annoyed by that reaction. Instead of asking you for your opinion, Reisen decides to use her magical pills to magically fix that shit. Shit meaning in this case 'bloody hole in the face'.
“Sorry to say that, Doctor, but first, the worst wound isn't in the face, but rather the missing Third Eye. Second, Master's medicines are-”
“REISEN! I'm not asking for your Master's pills, but for your opinion! How is she still alive? What happened to her 'third eye'?”
You're really pissed off now. Instead of analyzing the situation, Reisen prefers using pills. And that's really angering you.
“Youkais are stronger than human. It's not really surprising that she survived such a mutilation, added to that point blank shot.”
“But what caused that mutilation?”
“... I'm sorry.”
“Did your vagina said something? I can't hear that!”
“... I don't know.”
You don't scream at her. Mainly because you know it wouldn't fix anything. Instead of that, you pinch your nose, and you try to calm down.
“Okay. Let's see. You knows more stuff about youkais than I. Correct?”
“Fine. Now, tell me. What exactly is this 'Third Eye'?”
Reisen's pitiful tone is no longer her. Instead of that, you're now listening to the Doctor Reisen. She doesn't sounds like a scared little bunny anymore, but like a real doctor.
“Basically, the Third Eye act as a brain, and as a heart. Of course, biologically speaking, she's quite similar to human, except that her brain is smaller than your. To compensate that, the Third Eye acts like another brain. I don't know how, but it's able to read other people's though, and turn them into compatible though for the mind reader.”
“Compatible? What do you mean?”
“Well... Think about a tool, and a color.” A green saw. “The usual mental pattern here for a human being is to think about a red hammer. But sometimes, an individual will have a different mental pattern, and will think about another instrument. The Third Eye allow the mind reader to understand how the individual reached that conclusion.”
How interesting. But if the Third Eye is a heart and a brain at the same time...
“Why is she still alive?”
“Correction, Doctor. She's barely alive. As you noticed, she's losing blood at a really fast rate. Besides, if I'm right, she's no longer rational. Right now, she's extremely unstable, and cannot be reasoned.”
Yeah, you noticed that. Removing her hat, and quietly singing while strangling you with her... vessels.
“Reisen? What's the plan? And if you tell me you have pills to fix that, I'm going to scream.”
She smiles.
“Sorry to say that, but unless you have another Third Eye to replace this one, you'll have to use my pills.”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! That's why I hate you lunarians. You always have some magical solution!”
Oops. You said something you shouldn't have. You glance at Reisen. She's focused on Koishi, so maybe... You sigh. You have to watch yourself. Reisen is a moon rabbit. And, unlike you, she was a real soldier. You, on the other hand, you just know how to use a radio and shoot. You're ptty sure that if you had to fight Reisen in a hand-to-hand combat, she'll win. That's a very good reason to not try.

In the end, you had to use Reisen's magical pills. You fail to understand how a pill can fix a broken heart and a bullet hole in the head, but Reisen said it was fine, so no worry! Now that Koishi is again, you can fool around for a while! Yee-pee! Well you can't really fool around since it's still night, but everything's all right! You'll fool around tomorrow!
Now that you think about it, nothing makes sense in this world. According to Byakuren's word and to your own deduction, the 'hakurei' border collapsed, because its shrine maiden died. This level of reasoning is simple. But what's the link between the border and the youkais? Were they imprisoned inside the border? When you woke up several years ago in Spain, you walk to Japan, because you knew that you could find a haven here. Does that mean that this land was a haven since the beginning? You don't know. You don't have enough data. The more you think, the more complicated the situation become.
Stop that. For now, it's better to keep low profile for a while. Lunarians won't look for you here, and the probability you bump into one of them are low.

You lay on your back, and you try to sleep. Really difficult to sleep here. You still have this “you're-going-to-get-raped-and-you-won't-even-know-where-that-came-from” feeling. That's why you're holding that revolver under the blanket. You feel that something is going to happen. You don't know when, you don't how how, and you don't know where, but you know it's going to happen.

[] Try to sleep. You've got nothing better to do.
[] Maybe you're not tired enough to sleep. Let's take a walk. Take your whip and your revolver, just in case.
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[x] Maybe you're not tired enough to sleep. Let's take a walk. Take your whip and your revolver, just in case.

I'm trusting the docs instincts. Hopefully he'll know when to Whip It Out when something happens. Also, Lotta typos and grammatical errors in here, You sure you have the best proofer?
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Oh, What's this, a birdie? Pretty birdie.
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[X] Maybe you're not tired enough to sleep. Let's take a walk. Take your whip and your revolver, just in case.

It's the Lunarians fault. 100%
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Before beginning to write, I want to know something.

Anon, are you familiar with doublethink?
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I'm doubleplusgood with it.
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Whip it out anon knows nothing of this doublethink thing you speak of. Whip it out anon would like to know.
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As I don't have two heads/brains...

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DANG not the good girl waering that pajama
[x] Maybe you're not tired enough to sleep. Let's take a walk. Take your whip and your revolver, just in case.

Let's think about this. You woke up, ate with Reisen, went to some freaking mansion inhabited by all sorts of strange creatures, had a fight against a scorning butler, left the mansion, went to some shrine, had a fight against a girl in a track suit, removed some paper from a mummy, went back home, were exorcised, fought against a demonic little girl who gave up on life, and you're STILL NOT TIRED.
What are you made of, seriously? Speaking about that, you only had breakfast today. Where are your other meals? It's time to take a walk, and attack the mansion's food store. But this “you-gonna-get-raped” feeling isn't leaving. Is Mima planning a dramatic comeback? She must be quite pissed after being kicked so suddenly by Renko.

Whatever, that's not your problem. If Mima wants to beat up Renko, all you have to do is grabbing a camera and record that shit to put it on Youtube. Hell, it might even be funny.
Who the hell now? Let's proceed with logic. Mima isn't that polite. The little rabbit would most likely call you “boy”. So it's probably Reisen. You decide to act politely, and you show her a smiling face.
“Good evening Reisen.”
It hurts like hell, but at least you look like you're happy to see her. Even if she's showing a “I-have-something-to-tell-you-I-had-sex-with-your-best-friend” kind of face. And Mister Bad Feeling is kicking you from the inside of your head.
“Doctor, I have something to ask you.”
Please, she's not pregnant, please, she's not pregnant. Wait a minute! She can't be pregnant, you didn't even touched her! Not yet, at least. So, what does she wants?
“I'm listening.”
“You worked for the NASA back then, right? Have you been on the Moon?”
Aaaaannnnnd FUCK! You shoulda lied about that, you stupid smeghead. But it's damn too late about this. Better admit it.
“Yes, vaguely. I was for a little while on the moon. Nice place, really. Sure, they don't have any pizza, and they were quite strict about rules and stuff, but-”
“Are you the Dr James Moriarty?”
Shit. Now you can't play around. Drown the fish, use illusions, change topic, but do not answer directly.
“Well, my name was something else, but I'm not really sure. It's been a long time, and my parents were weird.”
Reisen does not answer. Instead, she just stares at you. You're feeling uneasy, but you do your best at keeping a blank face. You don't know what's she's planning to do, neither you know how she got those information, but you know one thing for sure. You can beat people around with your punches, but against a well-trained soldier like her, you can't do shit. Hell, even staring at her make you lose confidence in yourself.
“Is that true?”
She speaks, in a very slow tone. Is she...?
“Reisen, are you trying to hypnotize me?”
You stop looking at her. Instead, you focus your attention on the nearest wall.
“All right, Doctor. Let's do something. I'll tell you the truth, and you'll tell me the truth. Are you fine with that?”
“Or I can also beat you up, and inject you some truth drug.”
“All right then!”
She takes a deep breath, and start speaking in a monotone voice.
“I'm not a deserter. I'm Lady Toyohime's pet, and she sent me here specifically. To take care of Master Yagokoro.”
She's lying. You don't need to look at her to know that. Her monotone voice is proving that fact.
“What a wonderful tale. My turn. I was born in some wonderful land, called Wales. My father was a leprechaun and my mother was a pudding. I quickly left United Kingdom to United States, and I never regretted it.”
She's not reaction. You were expecting a burst of rage, something like that. But she's just silent, staring at your face. She's not noticing you're slowly hiding your right hand behind your back, to be ready to draw your revolver and shoot if she tries to attack you.
“After that, I quickly started working in a fast-food.”
“It seems like we're getting nowhere. Too bad.”
Spectating a fast move, you turn your head by reflex, only to be trapped by her red eyes. Immediately, the world becomes entirely red, with just a small black point in front of you. You fall on the ground, your mouth wide opened, unable to even think rationally.
“I see a red door and I want it painted black...”
“He's singing? That's strange.”
“No colors anymore, I want them to turn black...”
“Is that some kind of defense mechanism?”
Reisen is speaking, but you don't listen to her. You can't even hear her. All you can hear is that music.
You're no longer thinking. Everything happens by pure instinct. It's instinct who releases adrenalin in your body, making you light. You're not a man anymore. You're a smiling beast, without any logic or fear. The red illusion is now painted black, and you can move. You can fight. You're not going down without struggling and fighting. You draw your revolver, and point it at Reisen's face.

It's... beautiful. Your weapon is almost touching her. The cold steel against the rabbit's warm, and yet soft skin. You're still smiling and singing, but you're not shooting. There's a reason for everything.
“I look inside myself and see my heart is black.”
That's true, isn't it? Your heart is black. Just as your whole body. But even like that, you're still not shooting. And Reisen is still not moving. She's just standing here, over you, staring you, maybe trying to understand how you broke through her illusion. Or maybe trying to create the same illusion again. You can't blame her. You bet she has orders. Even a filthy deserter like her must obey.
You take a deep breath. You're still smiling, it's scary, isn't it? But you can't stop it. Smiling is natural. Even now that you're regaining your senses, you're still smiling and holding that Taurus, ready to blow up Reisen's head without any hesitation. She won't be the first one you kill like that.
“What are you?”
Stupid question she asks here, don't you think?
“I'm human.”
“There's no human able to break through my eyes. You're not human.”
Your smile widens.
“There's also no human able to deceive a mind reading youkai, Reisen. And yet, I did it. But tell me, what is a man?”
“Bones, nerves, muscles, brains-”
She doesn't get it. She's answering like an apprentice. Like a stupid student who just learned his book without listening to the teacher.
“No. You're describing me a beast. I'm asking you what is a man.”
Clenching her lips together, she doesn't answer. You'll have to explain her.
“Do you know what is doublethink, Reisen?”
Still no answer. That girl may be bright, but her amount of knowledge is just PLAIN AWFUL!
“Doublethink is a concept. It means breaking your own mind to accept facts, while denying them.”
“I don't get it.”
Okay, that's not simple. And also, you're threatening her with a weapon, that doesn't help.
“It means breaking your mind in two part. The first part being naive, even crazy. The second part being hidden but lucid. You can tell me that 2 +2 = 5, and I can believe you.” Your smile grows even wider. You'll end up with a glascow smile at this rate. “But, at the same time, I will know that 2 + 2 = 4.”
She doesn't speak, but you can read in her eyes. She understands.
“I can accept any fact, while knowing the truth. That's what I am. In a sense, I am crazy. But we're living in a crazy world. Isn't it, Reisen?”
She's still not speaking, but you know what she wants to ask. 'You made yourself crazy?'
“No. That was not deliberate. It's the mind's defense mechanism against an unacceptable situation. Like, for example, being killed and resurrected. Acknowledging this fact, and denying it in the same time. That's how I survived.”
The situation is ridiculous. You're lying on the ground, pointing a weapon to Reisen, who's standing over you. And you're explaining her some crazy theory about your own mind. Are you really the Moriarty? Or are you just someone passing by? You don't know, and you don't care.
“Unlike you, lunarians and youkais, I'm not strong enough to live. That's why I have to cheat. Making myself insane to avoid being discovered by some mind reading creature. Thinking about a brick wall works too, by the way. But now that's useless.”

[] Shoot Reisen in the head. Kill her.
[] Shoot the ceiling. She's yours.
[] Don't shoot at all. Be a wimp.


Due to some stupid bet, this update was written while listening to nyan cat. Please forgive any odd sentence, Mister Headache doesn't like cats.
Also, sorry about the sudden serious tone. Next update will (probably) be silly again, since I don't like being too serious in a story.
But that doesn't mean that you can whip it out now! Not yet!
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[x] Shoot the ceiling. She's yours.
haven't touched the moon rabbit yet!
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[x] Shoot the ceiling. She's yours.

Now I know what doublethink is. Jesus fucking christ this is getting deep. I like it.
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[X] Shoot the ceiling. She's yours.

Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass. I like it.
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[x] Shoot the ceiling. She's yours.
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[X] Shoot the ceiling. She's yours.

I'll go with this because I don't want her dead, although imagining the situation (as best I can)in my mind he shoots her.
Also it's been too long since I read 1984. It should be required reading in high school.
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[x] Shoot Reisen in the head. Kill her.
So he isn't a comedy-CYOA character, but actually a real badass who disguises himself as a comedy-CYOA character to fool everyone, including himself? Holy fuck, that's an... actually interesting plot twist! This is rare as fuck (or, at least, as rare as fuck when I'm around)
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Depends on your school. It was a required reading book in my school. Though, I recognize the term from 1984, this exert did make me understand the ending a lot more than I did back then. I guess my reading comprehension level must be too low.
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Fun fact: Big Brother is a youkai able to change reality as he wants.
I'm back, going to write soon.
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Fuck yeah.
[x] Whip it out.
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Reisen means business
[x] Shoot the ceiling. She's yours.

“I want you to understand something, Reisen.”
She blinks. Too focused on your gun to speak, she's ready to pounce you if you give her any chance.
“You're mine now.”
And you shoot. You don't shoot her, of course, that would be stupid, instead, you shoot the ceiling. Why do you do that? To prove her that you could have killed her, but also to hurt her. This gun is really noisy, and Reisen has big ears. You think she's very sensitive to any noise. A nearly point-blank detonation will stun her for a while. Just enough to make her understand who's in charge now.

Maybe you were underestimating those ears. Instead of just being dazzled, Reisen frankly collapsed on you. You quickly kicked her on the ground, suspecting an act, but her lack of reaction wasn't feigned. She's really sensitive. Which means that now, you have to take care of an unconscious rabbit. Not exactly what you had in mind, for hell's sake. You just wanted a walk!
More than that, there's still something bothering you. Reisen called you Moriarty. There's nothing wrong with that, since it's the name you used when you left United Kingdom. But who told her what your name was? She specifically talked about the moon, but there's obviously something to do with those damn lunarians.
You're feeling scared all of a sudden. You really want to see Yorihime again, but her sister is quite troublesome. You wipe all the sweat off your face. You didn't notice you were sweating that much. You can't do much against that, you have to admit it. Toyohime just scares you. Just thinking about her is enough to make you shake. You pinch your nose, trying to calm down. There's something to think about, right here. Let's think about it, quietly.

First, Reisen knows too much. You have to learn how she learned that. However, you won't kill her. It would be wasting her skill. You're not a lunarian expert, but you know for sure that they're damn arrogant, and also that they all have some kind of honor code. You're counting on that to tame Reisen. Saying something like “I could've killed you and I didn't” should do the trick.
Second, you have to determine if any of those lunarian knows about you. You still don't know how, but you're still alive. Even after being blasted into pieces by Toyohime, you're still here, and still alive. You have to know if Toyohime knows about you. Being blasted into pieces one more time is what you want to avoid. It's quite painful, you remember, right?
Third, you have to decide what you're doing with Reisen right now. Stay with her until she wakes up? Leave her sleeping here, in the corridor? You don't really want to touch her, you mean, you were alone for a long time, without any woman near, and you don't want to lose your cool. Not now. You need Reisen's trust, or at least her obedience.
Aah, fuck that. You throw her body over your shoulder, and you bring her back in your room.
Nothing perverted, nothing perverted. You decide to leave her “sleeping” in your room for the time being. You, on the other hand, have to stay awake. From Reisen's point of view, you're still to blame for her unconscious state. Which means that if she wakes up in YOUR room, with you sleeping in the same room, she's probably going to do horrible things to you. You briefly wonder if she has some drugs which could turn you into a female. No, don't thing about that. Stay cool. For now. Fooling around may come later.

You scream in her ear. No reaction. She's still hugging the blanket, with a drooling smile all over her face. You weren't expecting that, but that's very cute, so no problem, bro.
“Those marshmallows on your chest look tasty, Master...”
What kind of dream is she having?
“Hey Reisen! Care to tell me what you're dreaming about?!”
You scream one more time, but she doesn't answer. It's like she's deaf or something. You wonder what happened yesterday. Because for some reason, when you woke up this morning, Reisen was in your room, and also in a very cute pajama. At first, you though it was a welcome gift, but the fact that you weren't sleeping with her kind of broke the illusion.
“That's delicious Master...”
And she's sleep-talking. It would be funny if she weren't drooling all over your sort-of bed.
“What have I done yesterday? Did I drink too much?”
You can't remember. But to find Reisen in your room, you're ready to drink some more.

Finally giving up on the drooling rabbit, you leave your room, and decide to grab something to eat. Looks like it'll be a wonderful day! Waking up with Reisen near you, in some really cute pajama, that's a wonderful way to start a day!
You enter the living room in the most original way. Most original way meaning in this case: moonwalking. Too bad there's no music in this place. Aaah, but you have a spectator!
“... Okay, back to sleep.”
“Hold it right there, bunny!”
The little rabbit stops, and, in a slow and dramatic way, turns her face to you.
“What is it?”
Interrupting your moonwalk with a pirouette, you ask her:
“What's your name, bunny?”
“... The name's Tewi Inaba. And what's yours?”
She wants to say “you're supposed to say your name first”, but she's too IMPRESSED by your DRILL POWER to dare saying anything to you.
“My name? I'm the Doctor.”
At this very instant, Reisen wakes up. You briefly wonder how you can know that, but Mr. Logic explains that the scream you're hearing now is probably Reisen waking up in your room and supposing she was defiled during the night.
“Well, hello, Doctor.”
“Hello Tewi. Run for your life!”
Still smiling, but without any warning, you run to her, only to take her into your arms, and you run away. Why are you running away? Because there's a red-eyed rabbit after your ass, and you're pretty sure that in her state, collateral damage is acceptable.
“What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...”
Shaking your head according to the song, you're still running through the mansion, trying to run away from the screaming abomination with red eyes coming for you.
“Can you please drop me somewhere, doctor? I think it's more dangerous for me to be with you now.”
Tewi's voice is calm. Totally unlike Reisen's voice. You agree with her. Now that Reisen is focused on you, Tewi is in great danger. You quickly drop her against the nearest wall. Why dropping her against a wall? Well, of course she'll stop faster this way! You hear several noises behind you, but given that the red eyed monster is ALSO behind you, you don't really want to know what's happening. You're far more interested by what's IN FRONT of you. For example, if you were reaching a dead-end, it would be far more important than anything happening to Tewi, right?
Well, you're right. That dead-end in front of you is FAR MORE IMPORTANT than what happened to Tewi. Because that means that Reisen is coming to get you.
It is time for you to face up reality. There's an angry woman coming after your ass. You have to face it, like a man! No, not like a man. You're a hero. You're a legend! Face it like a legend! You are ready! READY!
“YOU!” Screams the rabbit.
No, on second though you're not ready. It's it better to become one of them, rather than fighting a pointless combat? Wait, wrong book. Whatever, you're still not ready. You're too scared to face her, and- oh, there's a coin on the ground!

You duck, grab the coin, and put it in your pocket. Good day today, for sure my liege!
Oh, and by the way, there's a big hole in the wall, now. Looks like you were right to duck. Best idea you ever had. She's probably going to fire another weird magic bullet, so you should really face her to- hey, that's a nice painting on this wall!
There's another hole in the wall, right where you were before you decided to look at this painting. Are you, by any chance, avoiding her attacks? No, it's impossible. You can't be that lucky. But you have to admit that the wood here is very good. Biologically speaking, it's perfectly conserved. You wonder what kind of-
Oh boy, another hole.
Footsteps. She's coming for the kill. You briefly wonder how she's going to attack you, but you notice that your laces aren't properly done.
Something heavy flies over you, and crashes against the wall. You really want to watch what happened, but your shoes are more important than anything else.
“Calmed down, Reisen?”
You calmly ask. You have a pretty good idea of what, or rather who crashed, head first, against the wall. You're not sure how, and you don't really want to know why she decided to jump head first.
“D-damn you.”
Putting a finger on her lips, you cut her off.
“Hush. Don't be rude, Reisen. That's not like you.”
She doesn't answer. Instead, she just stares at your face.
“Why am I still alive?”
And she asks some creepy philosophical question. You should just avoid it, philosophical stuff isn't your stuff.
“I dunno. What have you done yesterday?”
“I... tried to do the right thing.”
“And you're still alive. That means you should keep doing things that seems right.”
Wonderful! You wonderfully avoided the question, and you answered with something that makes sense. Great!
“I'm deaf.”
“Nonsense. You're speaking to me.”
She shakes her head.
“No, I mean... I'm a moon rabbit. We moon rabbit are telepathic. I should be able to contact other rabbits, but I can't.”
Oh. So all moon rabbits are linked together? That's... AWESOME!
“Does that mean that when two of you are having sex, the whole moon can feel it?”
For a while, Reisen just stares at you, eyes wide opened.
“Is... that really the first thing you should ask?”
What else could you ask? Something about weather? Do they even have weather on the moon?
“Whatever. Reisen, do you have any plans for the day?”
“Umm, no?”
“Fine, then.”

You will...
[] take care of daily consultations and whip it out (your stethoscope).
[] go see Koishi.
[] write-in.
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[x] take care of daily consultations and whip it out (your stethoscope).

The only correct option.
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Isn't Toyohime the one with the disintigration fan?
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Shhh, You'll ruin the foreshadowed backstory!

But seriously though, Nice work making this from a 'DUDEYUSOCRAZY' fic into something actually deep.
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Watatsuki Toyohime
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So that means that our protaganon can survive further disintegration attempts.

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[x] Go see Koishi
I wonder how she is.
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The office is completely desert. There's nobody else than me.
That's right, I'm the only one still working. Well, working, not really, since I was taking a nap, but I'm here, so that's the only important thing, right?
Without really thinking about it, I trigger the answering machine. There's only one message. So much for coming to work now.
”Hmm, it's John calling. It's 9 AM. I'm not going to work today.”
Not the first time he calls in sick. This guy is just lazy. That's why I like him. He's just frank. Instead of inventing some weird excuse, he'll just say “don't feel like doing it”.
”Listen, I know you're probably at work now, and I know how optimistic you are. But seriously, look around you, man! I bet you're the only one here, am I right?”
I listen to him with attention. He's not calling in sick. There's something in his voice. He's scared.
”Listen to me, please. I want how hard-working you are, and stuff, but this is NOT normal. I mean, people are disappearing, and nobody knows what's happening! And you, you're still at your desk, in your office, like nothing's happening! Seriously, man!”
Why is he calling? I don't get it. Is he trying to scare me? No, that's not it. There's something scaring him. I don't know what, but knowing that there's something able to scare John like that is unsettling. Like learning that your neighbor, a 140 pounds wrestler, got his ass kicked by some random dude. At first, you think “that's impossible”!
”Please, come to my house. There's s-s-something really dangerous going on. I can't explain that over the phone, but hurry and come. I'm going to hang up. I hope you're still safe.”

I don't move. It's not that I'm scared, I'm just feeling... extremely uneasy. John was really frightened. What the hell is happening? What's happening to him? Was he attacked by some thugs?
I raise from my chair, and I walk to the window. In front of me, there's the city. They call it New York, I call it the City. I lived my entire life in this city. I know almost every street. I know every safe spot, any quiet place. And yet, for the first time, I feel lonely. No car, no din of horns, no angry driver screaming after someone else. Nothing. In the whole city, there's not a single noise.
Yeah, I'll better do as he says. After all, he didn't call me just to try and scare me. So, I'll just go by the water closet, and I'll be on my way.

“Haaa, sweet mother of god!”
I feel like I just lost 4 pounds with that one! This is probably going to block the whole plumbing, but that was a damn godlike crap. I walk to the sink to wash my hands, and when I see her, in the mirror.
Well, not really in the mirror, but I'm seeing her reflection. She looks like a really cute little girl, blond with a black dress. She looks at me with interest, like if she was watching some new toy. I must admit that the way she looks at me make me feel even more uneasy, but that's just a little girl.
“What's wrong? Are you lost?”
I speak to her, while washing my hands. Even if I'm more or less focused on my current washing, I try to keep the girl in sight. You're not supposed to find little girls in office. Besides, it's not even the “Bring Your Daughter To Work” day, so she's got nothing to do here. If that one were to hurt herself, her parents would probably sue the company, completely disregarding the fact that little girls aren't supposed to be alone. It's a damn shame good thing I'm not a pedophile, because being alone in the toilets with a little girl is... damn tempting. With clean hands, I speak to the girl one more time:
“Are you lost?”
She doesn't answer. She just stares at me, in the most unnatural way.
“Do you know it's rude to not answer?”
She keeps staring at me. That brat is pissing me off. I really want to hit her or something.
“Where are your parents?”
Without any warning, I take her by the wrist. Surprisingly, she's not resisting. She's even following me. I walk to my desk, I sit the girl on my desk, I sit on my chair, and I begin staring at her.
During what seems to be an eternity, nothing moves. And I'm more and more irritated. That girl is probably making a fool of me. I want to hit her, to teach her that I'm superior. But hitting a kid is... not really ethic. And hitting a little girl just because she pissed you off is immature. Even if I really want to spank her for good, I can't do that.
“Fine. Just stay here. I'm going!”
I take my coat, and I leave the office.

But once I'm in the streets, I notice it again. The silence. There's nothing moving. I mean, REALLY nothing. No radio, no engine, not even birds. Not my problem. I try to repeat that to myself several times while walking, but I keep thinking about that little girl, all alone in this building. Have I done the right thing? Was it really the good thing to do? Letting her like that, even through I don't know what's happening?
“... Fuck.”
And I go back to this damn office. The plan is quite simple. If that girl is still here, I'll give her a good spanking, and I'll take her with me. If I abandon her just because she's pissing me off, I wouldn't be able to call myself human.

“Little girl?”
There's nobody here. Whoever she was, she's not here anymore. I'm worried about her, and I'm also very disappointed.
“... Whatever.”
And just when I'm about to leave for good, I feel something sneaking behind me. I try to run, but it grabs me. Little hands are grabbing my neck, strangling me. I panic, I try to move, I try to grab anything to defend, but those hands are holding my neck in an iron grisp.
“L-let me...”
Little hands... that's the girl...

A swift move.
Neck broken. Brain is no longer fed. Spinal chord cut. Body paralyzed. I'm dead, and I don't know it.
The last thing I try to say is: “That was a joke. I wasn't going to beat you”. Thank lord, I'm already dead when she eats my body.

What a crazy world.
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Well then. I must say i'm a tad bit disappointed with MC's death, but it does fit as you know, he's a normal guy.
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Actually, if the Border really falls, all Youkai will die/dissapear/turn into humans/turn into animals.
It's not really clear (nothing ever is, with canon) but the only impossible thing would be the scenario you just wrote about.

I still liked it though.
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My theory when I wrote this was:
Youkais fed on human belief, therefore they can live in Gensokyo. If there's no Gensokyo, they can no longer use belief to live, and they have to find other source.

According to this theory, eating human would allow youkai to live, while at the same time create fear, making the world a youkai place again.
But, of course, it works only for stronger youkais. Not for fairies. Neither for gods (with native gods being exceptions), since they can't eat human to live, unlike youkais.

Also, feel free to vote.
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Feeding on humans allows them to live as much as feeding on anything else, but the part about the fear is true: as long as people fear something, they believe in that something and THAT would allow Youkai to live outside.
However, the process to get the killings known and attributed to a new species (human scepticism and all) is a long one and all but the most powerful Youkai would inevitably die. The rest would have to face off with humanity but if they're that powerful, they stand a fair chance I guess.

[x] Koishi
The last time we saw her she was a heartless wreck. I want to see how a few drugs will make her better.
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That's only if human are still organized and logical. But as I hinted, people aren't killed. They just vanish, leaving nothing but rumors. You can't fight rumors with logic or science. After all, it's worse when you don't know what happened to your friend, right?

Youkais are like that.
They are the whisper in the classroom, the graffiti in the toilets. Without those things, they are nothing but cannibals.
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[x] Go see Koishi
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I blaim the Lunarians. They saw this as the perfect way to get rid of the 'impure' race. And obviously, they will be able to easily deal with the youkai afterwards. Win-win for them.
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Reisen with a kimono
[x] go see Koishi.

But before doing anything stupid or fun or most probably both, you need to check something VERY important.
“Reisen! Tell me again where you put Koishi, I think I forgot!”
“You can't forget, since I didn't tell you!”
“Forget details, tell me where she is.”

Yeah. That's not better. Koishi is still sleeping, thanks to Reisen's drugs, but considering her current state, it's probably better like this. You tried to place a tourniquet on her... strings/blood vessels, but they're still bleeding. That's not something you can cure, either with Reisen's drugs, or either with your own skills.
“Reisen, tell me again what I can do.”
Checking a paper, she answers quickly:
“Well, if you can find her Third Eye, and bring it here, perhaps I'll be able to transplant it. It it's not rotten, of course.”
Now that's troublesome. You don't have any clue about this thing's whereabouts. You're not even sure how it looks like.

But you have an idea. Sure, at first, that sounds stupid, but there's a chance it'll work. You take Reisen by the shoulders, and you ask:
“Reisen. Do you have a laboratory here?”
Surprised by your sudden emotional outburst, she doesn't answer immediately, stammering instead:
“I-I-I-I mean yes! Yes, of course!”
“Show me!”
“A-A-A-All right! Follow me, doctor!”
She start walking, and you follow her closely, taking large steps. There's an idea in your brain, and you have to take it, put it in a pot, water it, nurture it, and admire the result. But for this, you'll need a laboratory. And lots of things. You can provide some of them, but the others... might be troublesome. You briefly glance at Reisen. Maybe she'll help you, and maybe... not. You'll have to take that into consideration. But she's the only one able to help you, all the others girls around are too young. You'll need Reisen.

“Holy pangolin from Saint Antioch!”
You can't help but swear aloud. The laboratory is a goddamn LIVING DREAM! You always wanted to have something THIS BIG to work, and fate is giving you one!
“Impressive, isn't it, doctor? That was Master's laboratory, when she was still working here. Now there's only me, working sometimes to make drugs.”
Poor Reisen, she's so lonely in this BIG and MODERN laboratory. It'll be a shame to leave her, all alone, in this WONDERFUL laboratory. Of course, SCIENCE called you here, but you really can't let a young and fragile girl all alone in this DREAMLIKE laboratory. It'll be a crime.
“Okay. I'll be borrowing this room sometimes.”
Reisen narrows her eyes.
“Planning something?”
“That's a surprise.”
To tell the truth, that's a stupid idea. Basically, since you can't find any third eye, you're going to create one. That's right, you're going to clone Koishi. Well, not really Koishi, but rather her third eye. This is going to be long and hard and troublesome and stuff, but you take that as a challenge.

Before making any real plan, you wanted to see what kind of laboratory you could use. And now, you're relieved. You have enough tools to do that. Spare pieces might be difficult to find, but maybe you can ask Reisen for some. The other difficulty being that you don't know how those things are working. Of course, you can identify them pretty easily, but the manual is probably not in english. For this too, you'll need Reisen.
Alright. Now, let's say you can use those machines. Considering what you know, you'll need Koishi's DNA. Blood samples should be enough. However, you'll need a living cell. Not an ovum, but rather a zygote. In other words, you'll need someone's ovum, and you'll have to add male gametes. You briefly wonder if youkai and human are compatible. If yes, you won't have to look for a male partner, since your own sperm will be enough. If not... you'll have to find a male youkai, and ask him nicely: “excuse me sir, but could you nicely ejaculate in this glass?”
Yeah, this is going to be difficult. Maybe there are some kind of sperm stocks somewhere in this laboratory? If there are, you won't have to put your nose in some girl's vagina.
“Say, Reisen, do you have sperm in stock?”

Okay, that wasn't very smart from you. But Reisen is overreacting. You mean, come on! Trying to shoot you down while shouting mean things at you? Just shouting is enough, does she know? No, not shooting, but shouting! That's it, with an “U”. Luckily, you have several skills, one of them being “skill to walk shoeless outside”. And, even more luckily, Reisen, despite her obvious deep military training, doesn't have this AWESOME skill. Which means that as long as you're outside, you're safe.
Unless she decides to fly. Fuck. Let's make a run for it, should you? After all, she can't fly in that bamboo forest. Well, that's what Mr. Logic says to you. But you're pretty sure that Mr. Logic is just plain insane. After all, nothing makes sense in this wacky world, so that means that logic is insane. Or maybe it's just you? Are you insane? Do you have hallucinations? Probably yeah. Hallucinations would explain why you're seeing a paper flying toward your head.
“Bunbunmaru! Read it or there's no tomorrow!”
And being insane would also explain why you heard a girl, despite the fact that you saw-
With your blood, you write the culprit's name on the ground.
'Newspaper did it'

“So, what's up Reisen?”
You hear a young girl speaking. Miss Memory identifies this voice as being Tewi's.
“This idiot is still saying nonsense, this paper is still full of lies, and there's a party at the devil's mansion. Nothing much.”
Oh, hey, that's Reisen's voice. According to your sonar, she's next to you. Probably sitting on a chair, with her beautiful and pretty clean kimono. While you're lying on the hard and rocky ground.
“Have they send invitation yet?”
“Not yet. Are you gonna make some for your rabbits this time again?”
You can hear the younger voice laughing.
“It worked pretty fine last year, right? Besides, it'll be cruel for me to go and let them here.”
“Yeah. And it worked the year before too. And the year before too. And the year before too...”
In comparison, Reisen's voice seems bored.
“If it works, there's no reason for me to not use the same trick again, isn't it?”
Funny, it reminds you a proverb.
“Fuck me once, shame on you. Fuck me twice, shame on me.”
Did you just said that aloud?
“I'm totally fine with fucking you, man, but you're too young for me.”
That surprised outburst was Reisen's. Fortunately, you're too stoned to be surprised, so you decide to play along and to answer in the same fashion.
“Perhaps the same can be said about you?”
You open your eyes. You're half-expecting a silly answer, but there's only Reisen with you in the room.
“Uh? Where's Tewi?”
Hiding behind a goo' old newspaper, Reisen answer in the most bored way:
“She left. You probably upset her. She doesn't like being treated like a little girl.”
You shrug.
“Doesn't she look like a little girl?”
“She looks like a little girl. But she's not one.”
“Uh? Is she, pretty smart for her age? What's the word, precocious?”
“No. She's just... maybe, 1,700 years old? Yeah, something like that.”
That's many, many lifting.
With a sigh, Reisen drops the newspaper on the ground, and stares at you.
“That's all you can say? But anyway, we're invited to the vampire's party.”
“Cool. It means alcohol?”
“Are you able to spend the afternoon without picking a fight with someone?”
“Is there alcohol?”
“Also, I wanted to ask, but what was that about sperm?”
You don't want to explain your BRILLIANT PLAN to Reisen. Besides, you're too busy preparing that oktoberfest. This is going to be epic, isn't it? You remember the last time you went to a party. It was a tea party, if you remember it right. It was also just before you leave United Kingdom. Was it a coincidence? MAYBE! Or maybe not. Does that even makes sense? Did Salieri really killed Beethoven? Probably not. Unless Salieri was some kind of time lord! Maybe Salieri killed Napoleon too!
“Hey Reisen!”
While you were thinking about most important matter, Reisen picked the newspaper and opened it again.
“Who the hell is the Hakurei virgin?”
“Just a chick. Kind of not really nice, and very lazy. But she died 2 centuries ago.”
“The Hakurei or the virgin?”
“Both. She was the last Hakurei.”
Oooh, makes sense. Or not. Why did you asked that? You don't remember that. Well, what you you know, maybe it'll be useful later.
“Anyway, let's prepare for the party.”
“So you're going, uh? Let's pray it'll end peacefully.”
“You're awfully pessimistic Reisen.”
“Sometimes. If you're optimistic, I'm going to be pessimistic. If you're pessimistic, I'm going to be optimistic.”
“And if I act like I'm optimistic when in fact I'm pessimistic, are you going to act like you are pessimistic when in fact you are optimistic?”
“... Maybe.”
“That's a cheap answer Reisen.”
“That was a cheap question, doctor.”

Anyway! The party!
[] Take your revolver. Better have something in case it turns nasty.
[] Take your whip. Might be useful if you end the night with someone.
[] Take a stethoscope. This way, everyone will see you're a doctor.
[] Take a hat. You can't go outside without a hat. And someone destroyed your hat for no reason!


I'm pretty sure all that scientific stuff is correct. Almost correct. Maybe. Have a good party, Anon! Don't blow things up, you're just a human!
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[x] Take your revolver. Better have something in case it turns nasty.
[x] Find a fedora
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[x] Take your revolver. Better have something in case it turns nasty.
[x] Take your whip. Might be useful if you end the night with someone.
[x] Take a stethoscope. This way, everyone will see you're a doctor.
[x] Take a hat(Fedora). You can't go outside without a hat. And someone destroyed your hat for no reason!

You didnt say we couldn't choose them all, and the fact that we can easily take these all, give or take the hat.

[x] Make sure not to whip it out at the party. That would be disgusting.
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You've got a point.
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[X] Take your revolver. Better have something in case it turns nasty.
[X] Take your whip. Might be useful if you end the night with someone.
[X] Take a stethoscope. This way, everyone will see you're a doctor.
[X] Take a hat. You can't go outside without a hat. And someone destroyed your hat for no reason!

Reisen's being careful. Smart move, seeing as we're half insane. Even more so when the other half is Badass.
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[X] Take your revolver. Better have something in case it turns nasty.
[X] Take a stethoscope. This way, everyone will see you're a doctor.
[x] Take a hat. You can't go outside without a hat. And someone destroyed your hat for no reason!
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When did anon become so against Whipping it out! Children these days.
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File 131049055531.jpg - (1.77MB, 2816x1872, DSC04058.jpg)
Can't update. This lil' guy won't leave me alone.
Or is it a gal? Since it's a worker, it's supposed to be female, but they can't reproduce, so...
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Anyways, Go on with your life. We can wait to whip it out for as long as need be.
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[x] Take your revolver. Better have something in case it turns nasty.
[x] Take your whip. Might be useful if you end the night with someone.
[x] Take a stethoscope. This way, everyone will see you're a doctor.
[x] Take a hat. You can't go outside without a hat. And someone destroyed your hat for no reason!

Completely disinterested in my sudden outburst, Reisen answers in the most bored and melancholic possible voice.
“Do you have a fedora? Or a Borsalino, I'm not sure how they call them?”
“I'm not sure. Look in the armory.”
“That's a hat, Reisen. Not a gun.”
She shrugs.
“Oh. Then look in the entrance. Master wasn't really fond of hat, more into cap, but she must have some of them.”
“All righty docty!”

Well, you did found a hat. Not the one you were seeking for, unfortunately, just a small ass fedora. Sure, it's a fedora, woo-hoo, but it's not really impressive. Better than nothing. Okay, that besides, what will you need? Probably shaving, brushing your teeth, stuff like that. Let's do that.
Now that you think about it, you don't have any spare clothes. Perhaps you should ask Reisen. As if. You're just going to buy some more. But Reisen is a stupid name anyway. Why would you call someone Reisen? Why not Travel? That's stupid and whoever called her like that is probably stupid too. Unless your naming sense is worse. Nah, impossible.

Okay, you're almost ready. You hide your revolver in your back pocket, your whip around your pant, disguised as a belt. You're ready. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you almost fall in love with yourself. Too bad you're not gay. But perhaps you could let your hair growing? This way, you'll look like a girl, and you'll be able to fall in love with yourself without having the feeling you're gay. But, then, you'll know that this beautiful and manly chick with long hair is a male. The only solution is to find a girl with long hair. Bonuses points if it's a ponytail. You love ponytail. No, to be more accurate, you LOVE ponytail. And you know what's missing, you need a stethoscope. This way, everyone will know you're a goddamn doctor. Don't expect anyone to take you seriously, even if you're shaved and presentable, you're still damn dirty, and you're still acting like a prey, looking everywhere around you, and still paying attention to any noise.

“Reisen, do you have a stethoscope?”
“Yeah, but whyyAAAAAAH?”
Was it an error to shave? Have you cut some vital artery without noticing it?
“What's up doc?”
“Who are you and what have you done to the dirty, half-shaved and disgusting doctor who was in this mansion a while ago?”
Were you really that ugly back then? Or is she just playing with you? Better to play along, hey?
“I'm a shape shifter. I killed him and ate him. He was delicious.”
“I knew it, you bastard!”
She points at you with her finger, and she shoots some weird thingy that you don't really watch closely, because you're too busy taking cover to really inspect her murderous tendency.
“It was a fucking joke, retard! Are moon rabbits joke-proof?”

She's overdoing it. Clearly. You're pretty sure that trying to kill someone for a joke is overdoing it. But past is past, and now you're ready. Reisen even gave you a stethoscope, so you look like a real doctor! Well, since you're not really a doctor, you feel like you're a faker, but your opinion doesn't matter. Reisen's opinion is far more important, and you'll need it. That asides, you wonder if those ears are real, or not. Real in a biological sense, of course, perhaps it's just some kind of high tech transmitter. Or perhaps you're not making any sense, as usual.
Whatever, you're now in front of the devil mansion or whatever they call it. No real differences. Except the gatekeeper. Last time you checked, there was no gatekeeper, and now there's one. And what a strange gatekeeper indeed. First, she's tall. Really tall. Second, she's chinese. You're fairly surprised to see a chinese in Japan, you though they couldn't stand each other. And, third, she's a redhead. That means she's obviously dumb. You'd better show that you're not hostile.
You raise your right hand, and you say in english:
You could try to say something in chinese, but unlike your japanese, you never praticed it. You're not sure you're speaking it at all, in fact, since you learned it from books. So for now, you decide to show that you're not a native speaker, and also that you're english. Not british, but english.
You're... not sure if you get it right, but you're fairly certain it means “hello”. Or maybe “good day”. As you try to answer in english, Reisen suddenly speaks for you.
“Hello Meiling. We're invited.”
With a nod, the woman let all of you pass. Yes, did you forgot to mention that Tewi and her rabbit tribe are coming along? Way to crush a party. Bah, it'll be funny.
“不要踩花。 ”
You're still not sure, but you think she's saying something about bananas. Or maybe it is related to the flowers. Whatever, you just go to the mansion, following Reisen, and followed by a smirking Tewi and a bunch of rabbits. You can't help but feel trapped between rabbits. You don't like that actual situation. But NOT AT FUCKING ALL.

When entering in the mansion for the second time, you manage to forget everything about rabbits, chinese gals or silly stuff. You're just too busy being impressed by the crowd. You knew where was still a lot of people around here, but so much people! And while they were having party here, you were trying to survive outside, alone, by yourself.
What's this, a red death? Are you wearing a mask? Stop that, Poe! You want to ask Reisen who are those guys, but she's already... GONE! Hell, it's like before, you can only count on you.

Okay. First, you though that they were all male. That's wrong. In fact, you quickly notice that there's less than 5 guys at this party. There's the Butler, one guy with white hairs, yellow eyes and glasses, two guys wearing masks, and you. What kind of party is that? 5 guys for, maybe 20-25 chicks? This is madness. Or heaven. Depends.
Second, everyone is wearing a hat. Or some kind of hair ornament. There's this little blond girl with a hat with eyes. Better a hat than a hill, you guess. There's that tall woman with some kind of underwear on her head. Her eyes are closed, and she looks like a fox. Silly you, there's no way she could be a frog.
Near the table, you can see Butler and that Izayoi maid talking together. Look like they're getting along like old friends. Sneaking near the table, you sneakily steal a cup of a strange drink. You wish it's champagne, but your expectations are easily betrayed. Taste like rice. Must be what they call “sake”. You don't like it. Taking several drinks, you try to eavesdrop on the butler's discussion. Maybe they're speaking about something interesting.
“No, but the clock tower was all dusty, so in the end, she just fell...”
“Must suck to fall from something that high, right?”
Mmm, nothing interesting. Probably some old story, or a private joke.

Daaammmnnnn, Reisen is nowhere to be seen. You're all alone, at a party, and you're supposed to enjoy yourself.
[] Go talk with Butler.
[] Go talk with the guy with glasses.
[] Go talk with one of the masked guys.
[] Go talk to the little girl with the strange-looking hat.
[] Go talk to the maid Izayoi.
[] Go talk to the foxy-looking woman with an underwear as hat.
[] Try to find Mima somwhere.
[] Go outside for a walk. Too much people here.
[] Try to find Reisen.
[] Sneak around. Use your stethoscope to find secret passages.
[] Get drunk.


Only one option.
Don't be afraid, the party will last for a while. Unless you do something stupid. I mean something REALLY stupid.
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>Don't be afraid, the party will last for a while. Unless you do something stupid. I mean something REALLY stupid.

Getting Drunk isnt stupid. However what we do while drunk is, but we're going to be smashed anyways but who cares~

[x] Sneak around. Use your stethoscope to find secret passages.

We arent creepy. Shut up.

[x] Prepare to whip it out, just in case. After all, you're shaved, have a hat, and looking for secret passages in a vampires castle! This obviously means you are a Belmont, and a Belmont is nothing without his whip!
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[x] Go talk to the foxy-looking woman with an underwear as hat.
[x] Inquire about her headwear choice.
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[X] Go talk to the foxy-looking woman with an underwear as hat.

Hello? We would like to speak with the landlord around here. Goes by the name 'Yakama' or something...
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I am a nice person.
This is your goal: http://tindeck.com/listen/yqus
Just be careful, it's VERY loud and probably not obvious at all.
Have fun.
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I thought it was morse code.

Then I realized it was something I couldn't hope to figure it out. Well fuck. What the hell is that anyways?
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- --- - .- .-.. .-.. -.-- -..-. -. --- - -..-. -- --- .-. ... . -..-. ... - --- .--. -..-. .-- .... -.-- -..-. -.. --- -..-. -.-- --- ..- -..-. . ...- . -. -..-. - .... .. -. -.- -..-. - .... .- - -..-. ... - --- .--. -..-. .- -. -.-- .-- .- -.-- -..-. ..- .--. -.. .- - . -..-. .. ... -..-. --- -. -..-. - .... . -..-. .-- .- -.-- -..-. ... - --- .--. -..-. .... .- ...- . -..-. ..-. ..- -. -..-. ... - --- .--. -..-. --- .... -..-. ... - --- .--. -..-. .- -. -.. -..-. ..-. --- .-. -..-. -.-- --- ..- .-. -..-. .. -. ..-. --- .-. -- .- - .. --- -. -..-. ... - --- .--. -..-. ... ... - ...- -..-. ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. -..-. .... . .-.. .--. -..-. -.-- --- ..- -..-. ... - --- .--.
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None of you ever followed the Portal ARG, I guess.

Spoilered to preserve the secret.
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Thank you.
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Was never too into Portal. Too fucking deep.

Though still, now we get the moonbitches? Fuck, how are we going to whip it out in safety now?
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From behind. It will also satisfy Kogasa as well due to the surprise.
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[x] Wave and smile.
We got our ass kicked already, no need to do so again... I think.
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Update delayed. Sorry, but I'll take your vote into consideration, so don't worry.
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Cool. Now hurry up doc.
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Koishi is my muse forever
Sorry about that, but I don't like the current update, and, for some reason, when facing my open office document, I'm just unable to write anything. Writer's block, I don't know. Whatever.

This story is in hiatus for a while. I don't know how much time it'll take me to write that damn update, but I'm going to give up. However, don't expect anything. Next update may be tomorrow, or it may be in 3 months.
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[X] Go talk to the foxy-looking woman with an underwear as hat.

Well, you've got nothing better to do, so why not go speak with the strangest-looking woman in the whole room? Hell, it might be fun.

You say in a casual tone.
“Hello, doctor.”
Wait, what? How does she know you're a doctor? Is she some kind of mind-reader? Can she read your past? Can she, like, change your history like it's a wikipedia article?
“How do you know I'm a doctor?”
“You have a stethoscope around your neck.”
Well, you guess that makes sense. Wait a minute! Was this stethoscope really around your neck? Or did someone put it here while you weren't looking? Or was it never here to begin with? Does stethoscope exist for real, or are you imagining them? Reality is a creation, you already know that. Reality is a dream that you're creating without even noticing it.
“Yeah, yeah. So, uh, I'm a doctor. Well, to be accurate, I'm more like a scientist than a doctor, but, uh, there's a gap here, so I became a doctor to fill that gap and...”
Silly you. You try to show yourself in a good way, and all you can do is speaking nonsense. But the foxy-looking lady doesn't look worried. Not a single bit, in fact. It's even the opposite, she's smiling.
“I know you, doctor.”
“Makes my job easier, since I don't have to introduce myself. But I want to know two things.”
“Ask, and I will answer.”
Aaah, she's so nice. That warm smile. He looks like your mother. Except the fact that your mother wasn't so foxy-looking. And she didn't have those tails. Fluffy tails. Warm tails. You want to grope them, and- BACK TO BUSINESS!
“First, how do you know me?”
Her smile grows wider.
“You remember Usami, right? I'm... her coworker? Something like that.”
“Usami? Who?”
“Renko Usami.”
Oh, the black-haired smoking seductress.
“Oh, yeah. How is she? Is she doing fine?”
The foxy-looking lady nods in a friendly way.
“She doesn't want to see you. That's why I was dispatched to this party. But I forget my manners. My name is Yakumo Ran, but you can call me Ran.”
“Hello Ran. Second question, what's that thing over your head?”
“That's a hat, doctor.”
Nonsense. Your thing is a hat. Her thing is... the hell is that thing anyway?
“Nice hat.”
“Thank you. But, it's a good thing I could see you today.”
You inspect her one more time. Strange hat, yellow eyes, business-like smile, and... tails? You couldn't notice them before. She has tails. That means that she's not a foxy-looking woman. SHE'S A FOX!
Your hands are shaking. Really shaking. Okay. You should calm down. She's not going to gut you like a fish. Probably. Maybe. What with the business smile, anyway?
“I have another job for you.”
Oh. Great. You haven't even finished your first job, and you're already asked with another one. Screw that.
“Can we talk about that later? I want to enjoy the party. Just a little, please.”
“Fine. I'll send you a letter.”
“Thank you.”
You stay silent for a while, not really sure how to ask about that. Luckily, she detects your trouble, and she speaks for you.
“Feeling bothered by my tails?”
“Yeah. You're not human, but what are you, if I can ask?”
“I am what they call a kitsune.”
A kitsune. It remembers you something. From a video game.
“Interesting. Are those tails sensitive?”

With more luck, it could have been a wonderful discussion. After all, “Ran” is far more cultured than Reisen, and you really enjoy speaking with her. She's a good listener, and she's a really good teacher. Earlier, you were talking about youkai biology, and you noticed that, instead of explaining you everything from A to Z, she was just giving you the bases, letting you figure the rest by yourself.
But, of course, that couldn't last forever. You wish it could, but it couldn't. And why? Because Reisen passed by, and warned Ran that you might slice her up to see how she's done. Totally wrong, by the way. You could never do that. Mainly because you don't like working on a woman, but also because you're pretty sure that she's stronger than you. SCIENCE wants sacrifice, but SCIENCE can't be done if you're dead.
After Reisen, you could always keep on speaking with Ran, except that something else interrupted the both of you. “Something else” meaning in this case: “the masked guys you saw earlier fighting against a blond little girl”. Yeah. They were two, they were adults, they were fighting a little girl, and they were losing. Of course, at first, you though they'll win. Mainly when one of them crushed a punch bowl on the girl's head. But when she threw them through the room, you understood that they were screwed.
Haaa, how sweet, Tewi is worried about your well-being, and-
“Wanna bet?”
Nevermind. She's totally corrupted. Beyond any redemption.
“Yeah. £5 on the little girl.”
“That's an easy bet, you know? Rien ne va plus, les jeux sont faits!”
You feel awful for betting on the little cannibal. But it's not like they're going to be killed. Or else, that means it's some party to run away from REALLY FAST.

It may be that kind of party. Everyone around you is smiling. They aren't worried at all. Hell. There's a LITTLE GIRL sending TWO MEN flying, and you're the only one worried. Perhaps you should have a drink. A nice little drink. It will calm you down.

Okay. Let's think about that quietly. Everyone -including you- is watching a fight between a girl and two men, while a poltergeist group is playing “The Barber of Seville , Largo al Factotum”. You're pretty sure by now that drinking wasn't a good idea. But, thanks to that, you know that most of those people are youkai. You should be scared and already running for your life, but nobody seems to be hungry now. So you're fine. Maybe. Let's have another drink.
“Barman! Something to drink!”
“Why not? Have something strong.”
That barman is smiling in an annoying way. And I think I saw him somewhere before. Who the hell is he?
“Fine by me. What's that?”
“90° alcohol. Used mainly to cauterize open wounds. Nice to see you can drink that without dying.”
You throw the glass over your shoulder. That guy is trying to get you drunk! You're going to bate... baet... BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH YOUR GODAMN BEAR HANDS!
“Problem, doctor?” He adds.
His smile disappears quite quickly. Probably because you're jumping over the table to get your hands on him. And maybe also because you actually grab him.
“I hope you know how to avoid being injured while kissing a table!”
While saying that, you raise him over your head, and throw him IN the table. Not on, but IN. Head first. Like in comics. Of course, maybe it would work if the table wasn't as solid as it is now.
“I'm annoyed by your aggressive behavior, doctor. I though you were someone smart.”
The bastard just... BOUNCED! That's the good word! You though he was going to get his head nicely crushed against the table, but instead of that, he just.. bounced.
“I'm extremely annoyed by your wizards tricks, son. I was expecting you to take that punch like a real man.”
That's what you say. But what you think is way ruder, so you're not going to say it.

Amusingly enough, you couldn't notice while you were fighting against that strange barman, but your fight triggered something. And you finally understood was this party was about. It was for frustration. Or, rather, against it. The humans, the youkai, and the ghost. They come here, they exchange some punches, no hard feelings, no hate.
Of course, you couldn't notice that by yourself. Especially after being grabbed by the legs and used as a weapon against an angry vampire jumping everywhere. After that, you met Mr Table, and you don't remember anything else. You remember being dragged and put against a wall, but that's all.
When you finally wake up, the room is … not a damn mess? Well, that's what you get for hiring a wizard. He can fix stuff with his magic hands. What a cheater.
Oh, hey, here's Reisen. Hello Reisen.
“I should have know I'll find you here.”
“You sound tired, Reisen.”
“I am tired. I was invited here only to take care of the wounded people.”
“Not to relax?”
She sighs.
“I'm can't relax when I know I'm hurting people.”
Yep. She may be totally useless as a doctor, she's still acting like one. You should act like her, you know? Oh, right, you're not really a doctor. Not in the medical sense. You take pleasure in opening thing and see how they work. But, still, you should try to act, and think, like her.
“I can walk. Can I help?”
“Oh? Well, yes. Can you take care of them?”
She says, while designing the 2 masked guys you saw earlier.
“And you'll take care of the youkais?”
Let's do this.
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Those guys are strange. Blue jeans, why not, shirt, yeah, but why the hell are they wearing masks?
“Hello! Tell me, what's wrong?”
“Me leeg iz brokn.”
“Kant fiil my arm.”
Mmm... Yeah. You don't speak their … gibberish language, but you get the main idea. Of course, if they weren't wearing those masks, you wouldn't bother with that, but their face being hidden, you're kind of curious. Are they so ugly that they're hiding their face? Or is it some way to recognize themselves as human? After all, they were the only one here wearing masks, so maybe that's it.
“Okay, I see. I'll try something for your leg. However, your arm will probably require some medication.”
“Faine bai mi.”
“Are yu a man?”
That line amuse you. Do they care? Are they just interested by a new face? Are they going to accept your medication if you say you're human? Bah, you'll gain nothing if you lie, so be honest.
“Yes, I'm human. Don't move, I'll set your leg. This is going to hurt. A lot.”
“Human? Wy are yu wif HAAAAAAAAAAA-”
“I told you it was going to hurt.”
After setting the fracture, you quickly place a splint over the leg, along with some advices.
“Don't move too much. Use a walking stick if you really have to. Wait 2-3 weeks before removing it.”
“Thank you.”
And, now, the other one. You borrow a syringe from Reisen, and you stab him in the arm. No reaction. This is going to be interesting.

Disappointing it was, after all. You couldn't find the solution, so you ask Reisen, and you both decided it was some kind of youkai poison. It'll disappear in a few hours.
“That wasn't really interesting. Am I right, Reisen?”
“It happens very often, doctor.”
“They meet together, they drink a little, and then they fight? And it happens very often? That's stupid.”
“That's the only solution we found.”
Reisen is no longer speaking by now. Just whispering. Which means that she's telling interesting stuff.
“Solution to what?”
She shrugs.
“Frustration? Hate? Grudge? Everything. We all need to cool down. Human and youkais alike.”
“How was it before, Reisen?”
“Before? We had danmaku.”
You bet that 'what-the-hell-is-that-crap' is written all over your face, according to Reisen's reaction. But you can't really ask her. Why, are you asking? Because that Ran foxy woman is waving at you.
“You will have to explain that to me later.”
“Fine, fine. Go play while I have to heal everyone. By myself.”
You left her without any remorse, and you walk to Ran.
“Hello again, Ran.”
“Hello again, doctor. Nice to see you up.”
“Yes, nice to see me up.”
“Here's for you.”
You were expecting a letter, but instead of that, that's a FREAKING PARCEL she's giving you!
“Say, Ran, there's... Ran?”
She disappeared. Like that. Just a 'pof', and she disappeared. Yep. You don't like youkais after all. Because if she can disappear like that, it means that she can also appear like that. From nowhere. Exactly like Renko did. This is why you won't be able to wank. Fuck. Let's hope you won't get any boner until that job is done. Or you're going to be in a troublesome situation.
Let's think about that. All youkais here are female. And all human (the two masked guys and you) are male. In other words, either you fuck a cannibal monster, either... DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! Let's just hope that youkais aren't like praying mantis. Maybe you can find something in Reisen's storehouse against boners. You'll have to think about it.

There's something nice about being obsessed about something. You're so focused on it that you can't notice anything else. For example, just now, you're in the mansion. And you don't remember walking all the way. Bah. Let's just go all alone in a room, and open that damn parcel.
“Yes, Reisen?”
“I-I'll have to ask you to...”
“To what, Reisen?”
“Uuuhh... Never mind.”
What the hell was that about? Bah, as she said, never mind. You quickly run in your room, and you quickly open the parcel. Or rather, try to open it. A DAMN KNIFE! You NEED A DAMN KNIFE! Speaking about knife, where's your hat? And where's your revolver?

Okay, you got them back. Turned out that someone took them from you, and brought them to Reisen. She don't want to tell you who did that. Perhaps she doesn't want you to go on a rampage. Whatever. Parcel, parcel, parcel. With a scalpel “borrowed” to Reisen, you finally manage to rip the whole parcel into pieces. Inside it, there's a wooden box, and a letter.
The letter says:
“Hello, Doctor Moriarty.
Ran told me you wanted a letter rather than a spoken message. But considering that job, I want you to burn that letter once you've read it.
Allow me first to congratulate you for reaching Japan. I know that was a long way from Spain. Especially with those things wandering and killing on sight. Sincerely, congratulations.
But you do know that's not why I'm writing, right? So, let's get down to business.
There's an investigation going on near Kyoto. I know another lunarian lord is coming. Maybe tonight, or tomorrow, and near your place. I'm not sure when. I want you to get rid of him. How you do it, it doesn't matter. Just get rid of him.

I know you'll be bothered about being paid for that, but I'm sending it to you anyway. That parcel contains a wood box. Inside of it, you may find several mirror shards. I think they may be useful to you.

Yakumo Yukari”

Slowly and carefully, you tear the letter in several pieces. You're going to burn them with the parcel remains. After that, you sit on the ground, and you breath deeply. You used doublethink to defend yourself. To avoid despair and madness. After meeting Satori, you keep using it, but to avoid being discovered. You almost genuinely forgot about Moriarty. And now, you feel like everyone know you. That's not good. Not good at all.
So, here's the plan. You take care of that “job”, you get rid of that lunarian guy, and then, you'll ask to meet that “Yukari”. You want to see who she is, and what does she want. Good plan. But you'll have to get rid of that guy first.

The lunarian lord is coming...
[] Some poison should do the trick. It'll kill him in some painful way.
[] Frontal attack. Challenge him, and “accidentally” kill him.
[] Take him alive for “interrogation” and autopsy.
[] Go to the storehouse, try to find some non-lethal poison (precise what you want to use). You just want him to go back to his precious Moon, nothing else.
[] Write-in.


I still don't like this update, but at least, I went through my block. Update seemed to be too long, so I broke it in 2.
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[x] Go to the storehouse, try to find some non-lethal poison (chloroform). You just want him to go back to his precious Moon, nothing else.
-[x] Tell him to go back to his moonie place or whatever.
--[x] If that doesnt work, Whip it out. As in, a knife. Dissect him, as lunarians might have different insides then humans.

Why the fuck not. Also, If there's a better non-lethal poison, or anything better then chloroform, please say so now, as thats the only 'poison' I know that doesnt kill.
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>>7432 here, forgot to say 'oh yeah we're a good 15ish posts away from auto-sage so get to making a new thread so we can whip it out in peace'.
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[X] Take him alive for “interrogation” and autopsy.

Called it, it was the Lunarians.
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The fugu is a really interesting fish. His organs are filled with neurotoxins, paralyzing the target. Subject die from asphyxiation.
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File 131128830751.png - (87.29KB, 1280x720, vlcsnap-2011-05-24-12h56m35s173.png)
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
They asked me to open the door.
I couldn't answer.
They begged me to open the door.
I sat in a corner, and I tried to sleep.
They screamed and cried.
I ignored them.
And they it came.
One after another, they stopped screaming.
It killed them.
No pain.
No scream.
It just took them.
No hard feelings.
Before leaving, it whispered to me, through the door.
It said.
You will be next.
It couldn't know I was here.
I tried reading.
I tried to forget.
I couldn't forget.
The book screamed at me, calling me a coward.
The door screamed at me, calling me a coward.
The entire room screamed at me, calling me a coward.
I put my hands over my ears, and I sang.
I wanted them to shut their mouth.
Objects can't speak.
They can't.
They can't.
They can't.
I grabbed the book, and I told it it wasn't supposed to speak.
I threw the book away.
I grabbed the door, and I told it it wasn't supposed to speak.
I yelled at the whole room.
I was the only one.
I was all alone.
There was nobody else with me.
I was yelling at an empty room.
The empty room can't love me.
I had to leave that hateful empty room.
I opened the door, and I ran.
I heard it.
It was eating.
It was eating the people who were screaming earlier.
It noticed me, and it laughed at me.
I tried to laugh back at it.
I couldn't.
So I just ran.
I was the wisest in the group.
I told them that it was stupid to leave the shelter.
I told them, but they never listened to me.
I was the wisest, but I followed them anyway.
I was alone soon after.
I found a shelter, and I closed myself in.
Nobody goes in, nobody goes out.
And then it came.
Looking like a girl.
It came, and it whispered.
Day after day, it came.
Day after day, it whispered.

It was waiting.
After it ate the other, it came after me.
It's after me.
Neither running, neither walking.
It was crawling over the ground, whispering and whispering.
It chased after me.
Pushing me toward a cliff.
And when I was trapped, it whispered.
It whispered.
And again.
“Do you want to live that bad?”
It crawled to me, and it whispered in my ear.
“Why don't you give up?”
I tried to ignore it.
It whispered.
And again.
And again.
I gave up.
I walked.
I jumped.
Time stopped for an eternity.
And then, I meet the ground.

I died that day.
Through death, I became something else.
I hate myself for being so weak.
I blame myself for being unable to fight.
And there's nothing I can do now.
I'm doomed.
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I really like what you do with this story, to be honest. It's always serious, but theres always just the right coating of joy or some other emotion to cover up whats really happening.
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To be frank, I try to avoid being too serious.
Each time I tried writing a "serious" story, I ended up giving up and writing a half-baked ending (Gensokyo's Tower, You are just a blink).
With this story, I'm trying to alternate between serious parts (lunarians, Koishi, Mima), and less serious parts (Reisen, Butler, Mima).

Those intermezzos are just here because I want to write them. Sometimes, you may discover some tip, but that's all.
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[x] Go to the storehouse, try to find some non-lethal poison (precise what you want to use). You just want him to go back to his precious Moon, nothing else.
-[x] Chloroform, yeah/
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Nearing autosage. Get ready to whip it out in a new thread.
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Not going to update before a while.
THP hates me, and each time I try to post, I'm facing some allocation-memory-shit-I-don't-know-about.
Also, I lost the nue contest, hourra!
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If you won, You'd have to deal with people crying about how they didnt win.

Though i'm still extremely butthurt that the mods got something against focused urine. Shits serious even if it isnt real
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En garde
I-it's not like I wanted to win, anyway.
Anyway, have some Yorihime.
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damn hurry up I&#039;ve got a raid
[x] Go to the storehouse, try to find some non-lethal poison (chloroform). You just want him to go back to his precious Moon, nothing else.
-[x] Tell him to go back to his moonie place or whatever.
--[x] If that doesnt work, Whip it out. As in, a knife. Dissect him, as lunarians might have different insides then humans.
Well, since it's a job, and since you accepted it, you have no choice but to do it. That woman, Yakumo, asked you to “get rid of him”. Not “kill him”. That doesn't mean you're not going to have some fun with him. You know that lunarians can feel pain. That doesn't mean they're resisting to torture. Besides, you're kind of interested by any biological difference. But you'll have to consider the situation as a whole. So, be Moriarty, and stop fooling around.

First, that lunarian will probably be wary. You can't attack him directly, you'll have to use what they call a “middleman”. Someone else to interact with him. Which means you'll have to poison him. Or drug him, whatever. But do not attack him directly, and do not attack him yourself. The ideal way would be to send someone to stab him while he's taking a crap. But you don't want to kill him.
Second, Reisen probably knows about it, somehow. Earlier, she said she wasn't able to contact her fellow moon rabbit, and yet her behavior proves that she know about that lunarian. Especially when she tried to ask you something, only to go all “nevermind” after. You're not totally sure, but you're fairly certain she was about to ask you to go take a holiday somewhere else. Back to the topic, it means that she'll be on guard, especially toward you. You'll have to refrain attacking the lunarian as long as Reisen is up. Which means you'll have to get rid of Reisen, somehow. Sending her to town, or something like that.
Third, as said before, you don't want to kill the lunarian. However, sending him back to the moon is as stupid as going to the moon yourself. Therefore, if you want to interrogate him, you'll have to use a trick to make yourself impossible to identify. Maybe wearing a mask or something like that. But you'll have to consider his resistance. As far as you could tell, Yorihime was stronger than you. Maybe it's because she was training everyday, or maybe it's some lunarian thing. In other words, you'll have to be very careful with the lunarian, he might be just injured by a blow who could have killed you.
Fourth, even if you don't consider them as a threat, the mansion's rabbit have to be treated with caution. You don't know how they'll react if they understand what you're planning. In the best case, Tewi might blackmail you. In the worst, they'll attack you. You can't count on them, and, worse than that, you'll have to do everything in their back.

In short, in your situation, it's you versus the whole mansion. You can't help but feel excited by this revelation. You're not really the cunning one. Your favorite solution is more often the most violent one, mostly because you think you learn more from people when they're feeling threatened. But that's not the point. The point is, you're in a mansion, with maybe fifty-sixty witnesses, and you have to make a guest prisoner, while getting rid of the mansion's physician. You can start humming “Mission: Impossible” theme. Because you're going to do that. Fulfilling a impossible mission. By yourself. This is an interesting challenge, admit it.

Okay, time to open that wooden box. After that, you'll burn the parcel, and the letter. Can't leave anything behind you. You reach for the box, and you quickly open it. And you're kind of disappointed. Of course, Yukari said mirror shards. And you were expecting some kind of joke. But it's really containing mirror shards.
“What am I supposed to do with that? How is it supposed to help me?”
Screw that, put them back in the box, and put that in a corner or something. After that, try to find where Reisen put her medicines.

“Ha, that was here. Thank you.”
You say, while trying to smile at the rabbit. She's seems to be scared by that pure and innocent smile, since she just leaves you alone. But thinking about that, you were supposed to be deadly scared by those rabbits. Keep acting, moron, or Reisen will suspect you to be planning something. It's not like you had any other options, anyway. The drugs are placed in a storehouse, separated from the main building, and half-hidden by vegetation. There's was no way you could discover it by yourself.
“Holy mother of god!”
That was pure reflex, you swear! It's just that the storehouse is DAMN BIG! There are, like thousands shelves! All filled with strange looking bottles!

In a heartbeat, you quickly begin to look among the shelves, for some kind of paralyzing drug. Or a sleeping drug would do it too. Maybe more a sleeping drug, since it'll allow you to move him without troubles. Yeah, that should do it. Luckily, you quickly find what you seek. In fact, there's a whole shelf of sleeping drugs! Are you in paradise or what? Bah, just take the most powerful.
Chloroform. You're not going to try some random drug. Even if that nightmare pill looks promising. You snatch the bottle from the shelf, and you hide it in your pocket.

“Haaa, Koishi, this is going to be really troublesome if I can't fix that.”
She's still bleeding. That's worrying. And that's also dirty, she's bleeding all other the blanket. Hold on, what are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be doing something? You can't remember. If you can't remember, when that wasn't important, right? Maybe? Probably? Perhaps? You're not really sure. Bah, if it's important, you're going to remember it. As your father said, 'when you die, you are dead forever'. You're not sure what it means, but your father said it, so it's obviously important. He also said you to never sky for free or something like that, and after that he went mumbling about yetis.
“Anyway. Thanks for your blood, Koishi. I'll try something as soon as I can.”
Of course, she's sleeping, so she can't hear you. But you feel less alone by speaking, even if it's to someone who can't answer. Even if it's a supernatural creature able to break your skull on a whim without any remorse. Even if it's a supernatural creature able to bleed for days without dying. About that, you'll probably want to observe her red corpuscle. But it can wait for a while. The most important problem right now is that her clothes are getting bloody.
Which means you have to undress her. Or ask someone else to do it for you. But, unfortunately, there's nobody else but you. What a waste.
What's that noise? Oh, a rabbit. Great! You won't have to undress her yourself! You can ask that rabbit to do it for you.
“Hey, hummm, rabbit?”
You were half-expecting it to talk, but it's just squeaking. That's just a rabbit, so there's no way it would talk, after all. Even if it's probably understanding you right now, it can't answer. WHICH MEANS IT CAN'T HELP YOU! That's grea- too bad, really too bad, you have to do the dirty job. But first, you'll need spare clothes.
“Rabbit? Can you bring me spare clothes, please?”
It squeaks, while jumping on a chair. Oh. It already brought them. Good job, rabbit. Really. Good job. Well, since you have everything, you can change Koishi's clothes. But you can't do ANYTHING else, since the rabbit is here. Freaking rabbit. You hate rabbits. You want to take that rabbit on a walk, and SNAP ITS LITTLE NECK. That dirty mongrel censoring rabbit. That whity dirty disgusting annoying rabbit!
It's done. The work is done. Now, since you have some free time, let's observe that blood in the microscope. Maybe you'll find something interesting. But before that, you go to your room. Mainly because you're pretty sure you won't need your whip, nor your revolver. The hat and the stethoscope, you keep them, they might be useful. But the – who the hell threw his garbage in your room?! Who has the nerve to throw a parcel in your clean and white room?! Who is the freaking communist who just signed his death sentence?! Who the hell is responsible for that crap in YOUR – oh, wait, it's you. You received that parcel three years ago, and you carried it around from Russia. Amazing you opened it, truth to be told. Whatever. Let's burn it, it'll warm you a little.

You answer in the most polite way, trying to piss off the newcomer.
“Hello to you too, Reisen. I'm burning some things.”
“You're... burning... things?”
“Yeeees, Reisen. I'm burning garbage.”
Pinching his nose, Reisen sigh, and ask in a very casual tone.
“I think I can understand your motivation, but I do question your common sense. You're burning garbage, yeah, that's logic. But why do you think that burning garbage INSIDE the mansion is a good idea?”
You're dumbfounded. You're not supposed to burn stuff inside that fireplace?
“I don't get it, Reisen. There's a fireplace here, so I burned the stuff inside the fireplace.”
“Aaah, that explains why there's smoke everywhere!”
You knew there was a logical explanation to the lack of ventilation, but you though it was some weird lunarian construction.

The fire's finally under control. It only burned three rooms, so there's no reason to worry. Except maybe the pissed off lunarian rabbit soldier in front of you with red glowing eyes of doom.
“Listen, Reisen, I'm sorry I burned a part of the mansion. I won't do it again.”
“SHUT UP! Now listen. We're going to receive someone tonight. I want you to be totally invisible. I don't want him to hear you. I don't want him to even see you.”
“Why? Because I'm welsh?”
“No. Because you're an earthling, and the lord I'm going to receive is very... proud.”
“Say racist, it sounds better.”
She slams her hand against the table.
“WHATEVER! I don't want any more trouble! Thank to you, I can't contact my fellow moon rabbits anymore, they're all probably thinking I'm dead, I'm probably going to be scolded when he'll come, so don't create any more trouble for me, okay?”
You're pretty sure that was a wonderful speech. Unfortunately, you were too busy scratching your nose to pay any attention. Hey, attention isn't free, you know? It costs £50/hour! You can't afford that! Neither can Reisen, apparently.
“Whatever. I'll be working in the laboratory, so unless your guest is a scientist, we won't meet.”
“Good idea. I'll order the rabbits to lock you in the laboratory.”

You are now prisoner, locked in the laboratory. You don't really understand how they can lock those papers door, but they can. It must be magic. No, not magic. Let's say it's a trick. Even if tricks are for kids. You're not a kid. You're a scientist. Or a wizard. The same. Magic is like high technology. You don't know how it works, so you think it's magic.
[] Take it easy. Work on some blood samples.
[] Create a deadly neurotoxin to spend time.
[] Investigate the wooden box you found in the parcel.
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-[x] Investigate the wooden box you found in the parcel while fleeing.

I dont see why not. But wait! Why arent we whipping it out?!
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[x] Create a deadly neurotoxin to spend time.
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[X] Create a deadly neurotoxin to spend time.

Hello [INSERT NAME HERE]! It's your best friend, deadly neurotoxin!
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I hate you so much

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Sparkling Champagne
This is my first thread reaching autosage. It means champagne for everyone! Which means only me and my computer, since you don't know where I'm living.

Anyway, there's a nice tie. No, not the one you put around your neck. So, if there's no tie-breaker when I'll feel like writing, I'm going to decide by myself what's the winning option.
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Flip a coin. If its heads, go with option one. If ita tails, go with option two. If its on its side, suicide.
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[x] Create a deadly neurotoxin to spend time.

I am now picturing the MC's sane half as GLaDOS, and the insane half as Wheatley. Someone please kill me.
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If it lands in the pavement, Get to work you lazy nigger.
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>sane half as GLaDOS

The guy needs help ASAP.
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