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[X] Ask how she did it; she'll never shut up.
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If there's one thing I know about Nitori, it's that she'll never shut up if you push her buttons, no matter which you press. Make her mad and she'll scream. Make her happy and she'll ramble. While I could make her mad, that she could prooooobably rat me out if she wanted means that I've gotta work with her, not against her. "So... how'd ya do it?"
The girl perked up hard enough that her pigtails bounced before she asked, "Well... I'm sure you don't want to hear it all..."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "No, no; I'm sure I do." Just answer the question already, Nitori. Need to find out if she's a butt pirate or not.
"Well, I started with faking your signature." Classic Nitori. "But, as that still would have been subjected to processing and bureaucratic drama, I knew I had to skip that step; I wouldn't want to risk your life over due process." Good to see that she's still breaking the rules as it suits her. "Although, as I said, their security is laughable; even a human could crack it."
Here we go! Got her gloating. "Really? Why's that...?" Even if it's interesting, I gotta make like this is some grand conspiracy to my feeble mind. She'll eat crap like that up like a sap.
"Well, the idiots hid the password on a slip of paper, for one!" She's got as cute of a grin as ever, at least. Same old Nitori, even if she is some sorta freaky turtle thing.
"Heh. Dumbasses..." Couldn't help but smile; talking about it reminded me of our time in middle school and all of our wacky hijinks.
"I know, right?!" Theeere we go. Now she's all hot and bothered. "But I wasn't taking the easy way out; my pride as a kappa wouldn't let me, so I knew I had to do it the hard way. First I DDoS'd 'em, then, when they were nice and ready, I jammed in my jack. Downloaded the firewall. Why?" She chuckled, sporting a grin almost as big as my best. "Because why not!" She let out some snorting laughter. Ohh god do I ever hate when she does that. "After that, I swapped out the file and replaced their firewall with one of my own! Ain't nobody getting through it but a kappa!"
"A kappa, huh?"
"Yeah! We're the youkai best at fiddling with tech!" Time to just put on my best grin and wait. Smart she may be, but she's a real jabberjaw when she gets going. "Everything humans have ever made, kappa have been making better since the dawn of time! Y'know how every game ever gets cracked and pirated? All us." Aaaany second. "AI?" She snorted. "Ours aren't racist assholes. Heck, we can pull off anything Macgyver's done and more with about the same stuff or less! Humans have nothing on us!" C'mon, Nitori. Don't have all day. "Railguns? Easy! Coil guns? Big whup!" Seriously, my cheeks are starting to hurt, dammi-
Theeeeere we go; her gums stopped flapping. "What's wrong, Nitori? Suddenly went silent, there. Was reaaaal curious about all this talk of kappa."
She was the very picture of a deer in headlights: eyes wide, lips parted, and trembling a little. "Uhh... Y-yeah..." She rubbed the back of her head, muttering, "Guess the cat's out of the bag, huh...?"
"You mean the Gamera, right?"
"Ohh, shut it." She let out a sigh of exasperation. "Well, I guess we're even, huh? I know you're a witch, and you know I'm a kappa."
"Sure do, butt munch!"
"Now you're just trying too hard. Look, you can't tell anyone I'm a—"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk... You really think I'd just go and reveal that for no reason? When you've got me by the balls as it stands?"
"Will you shut up about the balls...? I only eat imitation shirikodama."
I couldn't help but chuckle at the sound of that. Why was it even surprising that those were a thing, what with all the coexistence talk."IIII'll just take your word for that."
"No, seriously, I don't eat souls."
"You're the one making it sound worse, y'know."
Ol' turtleneck looked at me funny, as if I might be lying. Me, lying? Why would I ever lie? "You don't care?"
Gave her my biggest, cockiest grin."Just don't go frenching my rear and we're good. I mean, we've known each other since we were kids, right? You think I'd let a little thing like eating souls get in the way of our friendship?" My voice took on a more teasing note. "The first time I got a whif of your feet was more trying than than this is, to be honest. What you do behind closed doors is none of my business; just don't expect me to bend over and beg you to nibble my tush, capiche?"
Nitori just stared at me for the longest time. Almost felt like I said something wrong up until she pulled me into a hug. "Thanks, Marisa."
"Hey, what are friends for?" Gave her a pat on the backpack and let her go. "So, how's about we get some shut eye?"
"Sure thing, Marisa." With that, she reached over and clicked off the lamp beside her bed. "No homework or anything, so an early sleep doesn't sound so bad. Can discuss how you'll get out in the morning." I heard the heavy landing of that pack of hers. Always been curious what she keeps in the thing, though never been able to get a good look.
"...Right. Get out."
After a short pause, the light turned back on. "You paused." A concerned kappa stared me down again. "You're hiding something."
"Hey, now, I'm not hiding anything! I only said I'd leave if I were human."
"Which you are."
"Not if I can use my brand of bull to dazzle them into believing me!"
Nitori, for her part, takes it well; she wasn't bashing her head against the wall quite yet. "What part of dying didn't you understand...?"
I let out a sigh of my own. "Y'know how you were all alone and lonely and crap when we were kids?"
After a long, oddly probing silence, Nitori confirmed, "Yeah."
"Well, you know that blonde or albino or whatever? Well, she seems about as lonely." Nitori pinched her temples, seeming to be expecting a migrane any second. "So, as such, I figured she needs a friend like me!" Aaaand the rubbing commences! "So I'm staying."
"You said you'd go!"
"I never agreed to go."
"You promised you would; you even pinky swore!"
"Yeah, I did, but not like that. I said I'd go if I felt I didn't fit in. And, honestly? Haven't felt too out of place save for Candi getting all up in my business."
After a lingering stare, Nitori's stoney glare begins to crack. "...Candi?" Heh. Got her snickering!
"Y'know, tall as a mountain and has more cotton candy on his face than your average festival?"
"Okay, that's just silly." Still, did its job; I can tell she's gonna let it drop. "...Fine. But we still have to figure all this out. If you're gonna be an idiot, you're gonna be an educated idiot." Me, learn something? Tall order, that. "Wait, how'd you even come up with witch?"
Ahh, right. "Flan said I taste like a witch."
"Actually, scratch that; I don't want to know.."
You're more than happy to oblige with a roll of your eyes. "She's not like that, Nitori. I'd not be surprised if she thought the stork brought the baby, honestly."
That got a snort of a laugh out of her. "Really? What, did she take a bite out of you or something?" Not letting me answer, she took a few verbal steps back. "Still, a witch, huh? Easily the most believable thing you could claim to be. Especially a crap one..."
"That's a thing?" Here's hoping it's not some kinda golem stuff. Being punched by a cloud was bad enough, but saying you sic crap on people would be a bit much.
"No, I meant a witch that sucks at being one." Sighing, she explained, "I don't know a lot about them, as, well... I grew up around humans, but witches are practically human to begin with. Was why I almost wanted to buy it, up until I thought about the fact that you would probably be the worst witch in history."
I gave a nod, asking, "So, how do I make it believable?"
"Tomorrow, Marisa. We've got a lot to talk about as it stands, and I want a clear mind. You know that I'm terrible at coming up with plans when I'm sleepy."
"Right, right." She's also fun to tease when she's tired. Still, that can be saved for another day.
"Goodnight, Marisa." After the light went out again, she muttered, "Missed you."
I couldn't help but chuckle in the dark. "Missed you, too, Nitori. Goodnight."
"Klaatu... Berata... Nicto!" The toilet gurgled and vibrated, but then fell silent.
"No, no, no; that's all wrong! It's Verata!"
I couldn't help but let out a groan. "Is it really that important? It pretty much sounds the same!"
"It's the difference between your golem coming out solid or liquid."
Why did oshitomancy have to be a real thing? This sucks! "...Okay, right, I'll just try again! Klaatu... Verata... Nicto!"
The toilet trembled as your wicked deed was completed. An unearthly roar, like a thousand toilets flushing, ripped through the air. The toilet at first began to jerk and vibrate, before finally going still.
And then, it split with a great crack as the arm of your shitty monstrosity rose from the drain.
"Huh?" With what?!
"With the binding spell! Bind the golgothan!"
Ohh god. What do I do? I don't remember the spell!
I heard a thump from across the room, then looked up to have found Nitori having tumbled out of bed. "Err... You okay down there?" You couldn't help the smirk on your face.
With a groan, she sat up, only to throw an odd look my way a moment later. "Did you just scream 'shit' at the top of your lungs...?"
Not sure if I wanna be laughed at by Nitori for a week, so let's try some redirection. "So, how's about that plan?"
From the way she rolled her eyes, I knew she knew I was changing the subject. Still, she allowed it, and instead focused on considering what to do. She rubbed her chin in thought, as if she had an impressive wise old man beard. ...Heh. A turtle with a beard? As if! "Well, it's simple; you're gonna have to find a witch to tutor you. Make up some kinda sob story about being raised by your abusive aunt and uncle."
Does that mean... "Wait, you mean I can learn magic?"
Giving a shrug, the kappa answered, "Well, you might? I mean, I honestly don't know much about magic. Kappa rely more on strength and our tech to get things done. Only thing I can do is manipulate water."
Okay, Nitori's cool points went up a bit. "But aren't people like 90% water? Sounds pretty powerful." It'd be a messy way to win a fight, but against, say, a living pink cloud, it might be handy.
My question got me an eye roll. Well, I thought it was a good question... "That's some advanced stuff. Most I can really do is simple stuff, like breathing under water."
"Right. Nothing freaking awesome about that. Nope. Nothing at all!"
"It's not that big a deal when it's just something you're expected to be able to do..." Heh. Got a blush outta her.
Nitori thinking that isn't amazing won't do. As such, I gave her a frown, pointing out, "Well, imagine if you couldn't." At her odd look, I added, "And now imagine swimming under the water."
Nitori shuddered noticeably. "That does sound pretty bad, yeah."
"See? Now, who's awesome?"
She started blushing, but relented, "Me, I guess..." Changing the subject, she said, "A-anyways, let me go get ready for school." With that said, she rose from her place on the ground and headed off.
Sniffing my pit, I winced, knowing that I couldn't put it off. "Wait, where's the shower? We have our own, or...?"
Snorting, Nitori answered, "We do, yeah. It's got a tub, even."
Huh. Ritzy. "So, who gets it first?"
"Err..." Snickering, Nitori said, "Go ahead, I guess. I know you barely take any time at all, so you should go first." Says the one who was trying to pull a slow one. Seriously, girl takes long baths.
Giving a cheeky grin, I pointed out, "Well, not everyone likes playing with boats in the bath at our age."
"I-I do not!" Noticing my chuckling, she pouted, obviously feeling slighted. "I haven't done that in years! ...And they were ships, thank you very much."
"Sure, sure. Whatever you say, Shelly."
"Ohh, shut up and take your shower." She let out a huff.
"I'm going, I'm going!" With that said, I grabbed up a towel after a bit of searching, made sure I had the amenities, and got to work. Same old, same old; only took a good ten minutes to finish up, and another five to get my hair toweled. With practiced ease, I put my braid back in place after a rigorous brushing. Yesterday's tussle left my hair a tangled mess of dirt, so I had to get it all fluffed up and annoying. And people wonder why I go out with bed hair... Wrapping up, I headed on out. "You're up, Nitori."
"Alright. Thanks, Marisa." When she looked up, she gave a sputtering doubletake. "Why didn't you get dressed in the bathroom?!"
I gave a shrug, answering simply, "Never thought of it. Now, get going before I flash you." Can never not tease her; just too fun to not.
"Ugh... Fine, fine!" She was quick to put away her newest toy she was fiddling with, and quicker to head off. Priorities.
With her gone, I took the time to yoink it and looked it over a bit. Kinda reminded of an RC plane, but more sturdy than you'd get in the store. Maybe a drone? Didn't see any weapons or cameras to tease about, so I just put it away. That done, I got dressed, grabbed my stuff and headed on. Checking the syllabus and time, I figured I'd have enough time for breakfast. Might even find some sorta witch, not that I expected it to be as simple as a broom and pointy hat.
While I headed for the cafeteria, I couldn't help but feel that more eyes were on me than I was accustomed to. The guys looked a little out of it, but the way the girls were looking at me was familiar enough; they smelled gossip in the water like it was blood. I swear, if they think me and Unzan are an item, I'm gonna flip my lid. No way, no how. Just wouldn't work, even with his desire to make a blonde pancake ignored.
On the way there, I spied Flan, who seemed to be heading to class, judging by her current route.
— - — - —
[ ] Call out to her.
-[ ] Maybe she'd like to join me. ...Hopefully she doesn't want a witch smoothie, though.
-[ ] Just make sure she knows you're okay; don't want to bug her or anything.
[ ] Continue on alone.
[ ] Write-in.
[ ] But what to get... Assuming they have it, anyways.
-[ ] Write-in.