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This isn't even a question for me. It's everyone's first time here; I should take it easy for now. As for Clownpiece... I can leave her be for now. I can tell her about Mage Armor once the battle is over.
"Okay, Reimu, Mokou, you need to mark down the damage you've taken. You see the part of your sheet that says 'Hit Points'?" They both take a moment to find it. "That's a measure of how hurt you are. If it drops to 0 or lower, you're out of the fight."
"I assume they're not dead if they drop below 0, right?" Sumireko asks.
"No, but they'll need to start making saves... I'll explain it if it actually happens." Hopefully it won't. "It's now Lia's turn," I turn to face Kogasa, "So! You have a few options here now, the most obvious being to attack an enemy."
"Right! ...How do I do that?"
"It's a lot like a skill check,"
"What, more dice??"
"First, look through your sheet and find your weapons." I ignore Reimu's outburst completely. "You have to decide what you're attacking with, first!"
"Hum..." It takes Kogasa a moment to find the right area of her sheet. "'Rapier', 'Dagger', and 'Shortbow'."
"Right. For this first fight, I'm going to recommend you use your shortbow. You'll be able to attack from a safe distance with it."
"Okay! So, what do I roll exactly?"
"Again, it's like a skill roll. Only instead of a skill modifier, you're adding the number in the 'To Hit' column."
"That's +6... there's a column next to it labeled 'Damage'..."
"That's exactly what you think it is. If you roll high enough to hit the enemy, you then roll the damage."
"Okay! Um... I should probably attack one of the wolves bothering Reimu and Mokou, or should I..."
"Hey, she's a Rogue, right?" Sumireko interrupts us, "Doesn't she have some kinda Backstab ability or something?"
"Sneak Attack, but yes, actually." Kogasa was about to roll the die, but she's stopped and is looking back up at me again. "Look further down in your sheet, under 'Feats'. There should be one called 'Sneak Attack' in there."
"Uh... oh! Here it is!" She takes a moment to read it quietly to herself. "Uh... what does 'advantage on the attack roll' mean...?"
"That's... certain abilities and stuff can give you 'Advantage' on a roll which increases your chance of success. But that's not important right now, because you should have an another way of getting a Sneak Attack."
"Uh... oh! 'You don’t need advantage on the attack roll if another enemy of the target is within 5 feet of it,'"
"There you go! If you attack one of the wolves, you can get your extra Sneak Attack damage, since they're next to enemies, that is, your allies!"
"Okay! I'm gonna sneak attack... the one that attacked Mokou!"
Finally. That took a while, "Make your roll!"
She picks up the d20 and gives it a good shake before rolling. "15... so 21!"
"That's easily a hit. Now roll your shortbow's damage, and the extra Sneak Attack damage."
More dice are rolled, after Sumireko helpfully offers the d6's. "4 and 5... so 9 total!"
"Don't forget that your weapon has a bonus as well."
"Oh, another 4, so 13!"
Hmm... the wolves actually have a fair bit more HP than the goblins, just enough to survive that. Eh... in the interest of going easy on them, I'll quietly halve it. "With a graceful flourish, Lia fires at the wolf, the arrow moving too swiftly for it to react in time. It is slain in a single shot."
"S-Slain!?" Whoops, Kogasa is suddenly a bit freaked.
"Laying it on a bit thick there, DM." Sumireko continues to sass me.
"Ahem. It is now Enna's turn." A brief pause. "Mokou, that's you."
"Hm. So the wolf that attacked me is now dead?"
"Ah, yes," I confirm, as I remove its token from the field.
"...Why are my weapons listed twice here? With different damages?" She suddenly asks.
I look over at her sheet to confirm, as does Sumireko, "Oh, you have versatile weapons," I begin, "That means you can either wield them in one hand with a shield in your other, or wield the weapon with both hands instead." I gesture at the damage column, "The larger damage comes from wielding it with both hands."
"...I'll attack the other wolf with my warhammer, with both hands, then."
"Uh..." That's a bit unexpected, "You'll have to go without your shield, then. It'll be easier for you to get hit."
"That's fine." That response was almost automatic, compared to everything else she's said today.
"...Roll to hit, then."
The die clacks on the table. Another 15, for a total of 18. I confirm that it's a hit, and she rolls damage.
She rolls a 2, for a total of 3, with her Strength modifier.
"Enna swings with all of her might, but her aim is just a tad bit off. She lands a glancing blow."
Mokou... I can't really gauge her reaction. I'd assume disappointment, but she has the same blank, vaguely disinterested look she's had all session.
"And that takes us to Miri..."
"Ray of Frost! Fwoo!" I turn to look only to find her having already decided. At least it's a cantrip. "Take that, stupid wolf!"
"Okay... so, you have to make a spell attack roll-"
I'm interrupted by the sound of the die clacking. "12!"
"...Okay, but there's a modifier. It should be at the bottom of your spell list."
"...17." I offer.
"That hits. Roll damage." I respond automatically. I'm about to explain where to find that damage when Clownpiece rolls another die.
"Uh," I look down over my notes, "...Miri's enthusiastic display freezes the wolf cold. It is defeated."
"Alright, now the goblins get to act-"
"When do I get to attack something!?" Reimu suddenly yells.
"You rolled the lowest on initiative, so you act last." I try to keep my voice even.
"We're just rolling dice! This is all luck-based!"
Without thinking much, I roll a die behind my screen. 12... the goblins have a +4 to hit, which brings it to 16... just shy of Reimu's AC. "One of the goblins attempts to take advantage of Riswynn's inaction, but she is able to deflect his incoming strike."
"Riswynn is you, Reimu."
I roll again. A 2... that hits nobody. Except Clownpiece, but I've already decided to leave her alone. "The other goblin attempts to follow up, but he trips over himself before he can make it to Riswynn." I turn to Sumireko, "Your turn."
"Uh," Sumireko awkwardly glances around as Reimu quietly fumes. "Uh, I guess I'll use Poison Spray on one of the goblins. They have to make a Constitution save."
"Alright, tell me the DC. You know where to find it?"
"Yeah, it's 14."
Unfortunately, my die comes up 17, before any modifiers. "The goblin is able to steel himself and resist to noxious gas."
Sumireko quietly shrugs, as I turn to face Reimu now.
"Is it my turn finally?"
"Yes. What will you do?"
"I'm going to attack!" She punctuates this statement by dramatically rolling the die.
It comes up 7.
"...What's your To-Hit again?"
"My what now?"
"...Reimu were you at all paying attention."
Sumireko helpfully looks over Reimu's sheet for me, "It's +6. Assuming she's using her battleaxe."
So 13... the goblins have an AC of 15. ...I'm feeling so bad for her now. I'm just gonna give this one to her; it's not an awful roll, at least. "You hit. Roll damage."
Sumireko points out the numbers, and Reimu rolls it. 12 damage total. Very dead.
"In a moment of rage, Riswynn swings her axe around, cleaving one of the goblins in half."
Reimu sits back down and huffs. She doesn't seem wholly satisfied. Given that she's upset with the fundamental mechanics of the game, I'm not sure what will satisfy her.
"Alright... with the wolves dead, that brings us back to Lia." I turn to Kogasa, "There's only one goblin left. What will you do?"
"O-Oh, um," She's a little shaken by Reimu's outburst. I don't blame her. "I guess I'll shoot an arrow at him."
"He's standing next to Riswynn, so you can get your Sneak Attack damage again." I note.
"Okay!" Kogasa rolls the die once more, and gets a 17. Confirming the hit, she proceeds to roll a grand total of 12 damage, killing the goblin.
"With the final enemy slain, you are given a momentary respite. The town guards have likewise repelled the rest of the raiding party. The surviving goblins can be seen fleeing out towards a forest, a short ways to the west of town."
"Are these raids common? Uh, I ask one of the guards." Sumireko is quick to pull things back to roleplaying after the battle. Reimu is still quietly fuming.
"The guard tells you that this is the first time such a raid has occurred. He expresses concern that goblins may have recently established a camp of some sorts in the forest."
"Something needs to be done, then!" Sumireko responds, "We're willing to root out those goblins before they become a problem!"
"The guard thanks you for your offer. They'll be staying in the village, in case the goblins return."
"Okay, so..." Kogasa starts, "How are we going to find the goblins? They're hiding in the forest, right?"
"Hey," Mokou interrupts, "I got hurt during that fight, and so did Reimu. Is it possible for us to tend to that, or are we stuck with it?"
Oh, I had completely forgotten. "While you have various spells and items that can heal you instantly, you can also recover some health by taking a short rest."
"Hm. How does that work? We just 'rest', and then we're fine again?"
"Ah, no. You roll your Hit Dice, and add your Constitution modifier to the roll. That determines how much health you recover."
"'Hit Dice'?? Like rolling to hit something again? And 'short rest'? What makes it short, anyway??" Oh, there's Reimu again.
"No, your Hit Dice... sort of measures how well you can recover from injury. You spend it during a short rest to heal, and you recover it during a long rest."
"And there's a 'long rest' too? What's the difference??"
"Presumably it's longer than the short rest." Very funny, Sumireko.
Though that does raise a small point. A short rest is normally one hour long, and a long rest is eight. But I recall there being an variant rule on that in the Dungeon Master's Guide: a short rest is only 5 minutes, while a long rest is an hour. I could use that variant rule to speed up the game, since everyone would be able to use their abilities more often, and make combat more routine. ...Though it occurs to me that only Kogasa really used her feat, and that was her basic Sneak Attack. Still...
 Normal Speed: 1 hour short rest, 8 hour long rest
 Epic Heroism: 5 minute short rest, 1 hour long rest