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File 133628747128.jpg - (655.54KB, 1303x921, a653038084ddb3b8fc403c3db753b0ed.jpg) [iqdb]
21230 No. 21230
Gathered my guts and write.

Plot? Will think about that later.

----
"Where did you find him?"

Your head feels hurt.

"At the forest. Already like this when I found him."

Stratch that. Your entire body feels hurt. You can taste blood inside your mouth.

"Attacked by a wild youkai?"

Pain shocks your body each time you breathe. You can feel every ounce of energy that you have lost each time you take a breath.

"Nope, the wounds are unlikely from wild youkai's doing. He is already like that when I found him."

You try to remember what is going on, to no avail. Your mind refusing to coorperate with you.

"His clothes...He must be from outside world..."

It seems there are some woman talking around you. You try to open your eyes.

"Hey, he is awake!"

You look around. Everything is blurry on your sight, but you can see two figure here.

"Hey, are you okay?" One of the figure asks.

What kind of question is that? You open your mouth and try to answer her, but you got no energy to do it. You can feel some of the blood in your mouth gets into your throat.

"Oh my..."

You can feel your consiousness drifts away...

---

You open your eyes. The pain was still there, but somehow, you feel better than before. It seems you are on a futon. You cannot move your left arm, so you use the right one.

You check your own condition. Most of your head covered in bandage, including your left eye. Your left arm splinted, along with your right leg.

It seems somebody takes care of you from your wound.

You check surrounding. It seems you are in old japanese-styled room. There is no electronics here.

What would you do now?

[]Stay
[]Wander
Expand all images
>> No. 21231
[x]Stay
Oh hi, guy from /blue/.

Hope this wouldn't be a mediocre story with only 2-3 votes per update.
>> No. 21232
[x]Stay

>Plot? Will think about that later.
This is not a reassuring sign, but I'll give it a chance.
>> No. 21233
[x]Stay

Where to wander with this condition anyway?
>> No. 21234
[x]Wander

Pissing against the tide.
>> No. 21235
Eh, sure, I'll give this a chance for now.

[x]Stay

Also, I strongly recommend investing in a proofreader before the next update. This has quite a few errors.

And, hopefully, coming up with some plot.
>> No. 21236
>>21235
Where I could find proofreaders here? Any suggestion?
>> No. 21237
>>21236
Try #thp on the rizon network
>> No. 21238
>>21236
What >>21237 said, just ask on IRC if someone can proofread what you've written. (There's a link to do this on the main page, also.)

Be prepared to be criticized thoroughly, but if the criticism seems at all legitimate then take it to heart.
>> No. 21239
>>21238
Don't worry. They're nice, at least most of the time. At worst, they'll pretend you don't exist and carry on with their inane conversations about Danbooru links, Koafort, or their personal lives.
>> No. 21240
[X]Stay

I'll definitely keep an eye on this story.
>> No. 21241
Called. Please wait for a while(1 or 2 days).
>> No. 21242
Whats Koafort?
>> No. 21243
File 133645373663.png - (526.86KB, 700x700, 7cc914d1aba075c5c7bd2f89e74a9165.png) [iqdb]
21243
[X]Stay
You decide to stay here. There is no point in wandering around with your awful condition.

You check the splint; it's a crude, wooden support that looks like it was just cut from a tree. Definitely not from a hospital.

After you check the bandage around your head, you can tell some long strips of cloth were used as a bandage instead of gauze. The odor of alcohol hangs over the improvised wrappings, though, maybe to keep them sterile.

You sigh. Can't complain too much, since a person is saving your life after all, but why didn't they take you to a hospital?

A quick look around the room shows there aren't any electronics, so you doubt that you could find a phone to call an ambulance. Actually, you're beginning to doubt whether there's even a hospital near here.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a door sliding open, revealing a woman in a shrine maiden outfit. Maybe she's the one who helped you? She has long green hair, but you cannot see her face clearly because of your poor eyesight. She walks in, and kneels down beside you.

"Morning!" She greets you, setting the tray at the side of your futon. "Are you feel better now?"

You try to answer her; strangely, no voice comes out of your mouth.

"Huh?" She looks a little confused by your actions. You try once again, but still no voice. Air just flows through your throat without any vibration. It takes a few more trys before the realization hits you:

You have been rendered mute.

You are shocked for some time after. Tears start creeping out of your right eye and down your cheek: you feel like one of your most treasured possessions is gone, and you know you will never find it again.

"H-hey!? What's wrong!?" the girl nearly shouts, panicked. You wipe your tears, then try to explain by gesturing with your right hand. "I...No...Talk... You can't speak Japanese?" She's trying to understand your message. You shake your head. "You are unable to speak?" You nod.

"It must be hard for you... but please cheer up!" You look up at her, but your expression doesn't change. Who can cheer up after lose the ability to speak? "I-I mean, after all those wounds, I didn't think you'd even survive... one of your eyes was bleeding, your mouth was full of blood, half of your face was burned... But you survived! So please, cheer up!"

It's painful to admit, but she's right: grieving over something that you've lost is useless. You should be happy that you're alive after whatever happened to you. You force your mouth into a smile. Even if you can't thank her with words, a smile should convey the message.

She seems to cheer up as well. "That's better!" She pats your shoulder, but you wince as pain instantly strikes your body. "Ah, sorry!" She quickly pulls her hand away, and the pain eventually fades away. "How did you end up like this, if I may ask?" she asks. You try to remember something, anything from before that night, but it's useless. You raise your shoulder in a shrug.

"You don't know?" she guesses. You nod. "Ah..." She turns away, and an awkward silence falls until she picks up the tray and sets it on your lap.

"I brought you some food here. Nothing fancy, but it should fill you up." A bowl of rice and a grilled fish sit in front of you. You waste little time in tearing the fish with the chopsticks, trying to shove scoops of rice into your mouth to go with it. It's a hard task with only one hand: everything's wobbly when you can't support yourself.

"Here, let me help." She takes the tray and your chopsticks; she intents to feed you. You shake your head, refusing her offer. "Don't be shy, I'm okay with this," she reassures you. You hesitate for a while longer, but finally surrender to your hunger and her good will.

"Open your mouth..." She brings some rice to your mouth, and you do as you're told. The mouthful tastes good, as does the fish meat.

A memory suddenly rushes into your brain...

---

You’re in the middle of a park, as a child. Tears run down your face, blurring the ice cream cone that’s fallen onto the ground. A short-haired girl who seems about your age walks over and looks at you.

"What is happened?" she asks, before seeing your ice cream on the ground. "Do you want mine?" she asks again. You shake your head. She insists, though, and scoops up some of her ice cream with a small wooden spoon.

"Open your mouth..." You slowly do as she says, and she slowly places the ice cream into your mouth.

You ended up sharing the ice cream with her. After a while, she starts talking again. "My mom said that we must share happiness with others who need it. Now that I’ve shared my happiness, next time you have to share yours with someone who needs it, okay?" You just nod, smiling, not really getting what she means.

"Sanae, it's starting to turn dark; come home now!" a grown-up calls.

"Okay mom!" The girl starts running, but stops in the middle of a step, and turns back to you. "My name is Kochiya Sanae. See you tomorrow!" she yells, before starting to run again.

----

"Hey, are you okay?" She taps on your face, bringing you back out of your world. "What are you thinking about? You spaced out for a few minutes," she says. You shake your head.

"Well, it's okay if you don't want to tell me..." She looks a little concerned for a bit, then continues to feed you.

After a while, you’ve managed to eat all your food, even though it hurts when you try to shallow anything in your mouth.

"I'll take this back and attend to my shrine duties. You rest here, okay?" she says, before taking the tray and walking out of the room.

You want to ask what her name is... But you can't, because you can't even talk. You couldn't tell her your name anyways, and it's uncomfortable to ask somebody's name without giving your own.

Wait... what is your name? Wonderful. As if losing your voice wasn’t enough, you now have some kind of severe memory disorder. Amnesia, maybe.

What to do now?

[ ] Stay here. She told me to rest.

[ ] Wander around. I want to know where this place is.
>> No. 21244
[x] Stay here. She told me to rest.
>>21242
Dorf Fortress with Koas instead of Dwarves, I think.
>> No. 21245
File 133646699957.jpg - (158.21KB, 631x720, Our MC.jpg) [iqdb]
21245
[x] Stay here. She told me to rest.
>> No. 21246
File 133646901351.png - (1.11KB, 600x205, Whole_rest.png) [iqdb]
21246
[x] Stay here. She told me to rest.
>> No. 21247
[x] Stay here. She told me to rest

Hopefully this Sanae will get a better end than FOM
>> No. 21250
[x] Stay here. She told me to rest

Hopefully this Sanae won't go yandere
>> No. 21251
Called. Waiting for proofreader.
>> No. 21252
>>21251

Hooray!
>> No. 21254
File 133680259519.jpg - (188.16KB, 718x1000, 3665fbb4652642ddc65d4369b04acee2.jpg) [iqdb]
21254
Alright, so...
Searching for proofreader, not getting any. The proofreader of the previous chapter (Fyhlen) was not online too(Damn Timezone). Expect errors.

---
You decide to follow the shrine maiden's order. Rest should give your body a chance to recover from these injuries. You lay back on your futon and try to sleep.

...

...

Fifteen minutes passed. You find yourself cannot sleep at all. You only been awake for about an hour this morning, or whatever time is this now. You hope that this place has a television to waste time...

You throw that useless thought and sit on your futon again, decide to check on yourself a bit more; maybe you bring something that can reminds you of whom you are. You check on your pockets; every pockets on your shirt and pants.

You only find some wads of money, and an amulet. Where is your wallet? ID card? Credit card? Cell phone? Anything that contains your identity? You curse on your past self for not bringing such important items. You check on the amulet; nothing unusual. On closer look, you can barely see the writings on the front but it's still readable; It says "Moriya". The charm looks pretty old, looking how rugged it is. You feel this charm is really important to you, but can't remember why.

You sighed, disappointed at your findings. You make a mental note to ask her. At least you can give her your money for saving your life and taking care of you. That should repaid her kindness.

You decided to try to sleep once again.

Your consciousness goes away...

---

(Note: Flashbacks are NOT chronological, as it's all based on his memory.)

You sit on a swing, lazily swing yourself back and forth, wasting time like other kids.

"Heyyyy!!!" You look at the source of the sound, it's that short-haired girl. She's running to you.

"Evening!" She greets you energetically. You ask her why she sounds really happy now.

"I just go home today after going to many places with Mom and Dad! It was really fun!" She starts her story.

She and her family go to a village, far away from the city. She described how fun it is to walk thought rice field, looking at the forest, and many more. You heard her with enthusiasm imagining the place she describes.

"...And then we go to a shrine. Compared to the houses at the village, it was reeeaallllyyy big!" She described it with both of her arms open very wide. "After we prayed there, a woman gives something to me!" She then reach her pocket and showed a charm. You take the charm and look at it, letting a 'whoa' to express your astonishment. But as you give back the charm, she refused.

"No, it's for you! Mom said that I should give the charm to others for good luck, so keep it, okay?" She said. You nod and held the charm tightly...

---

"He was in there, don't he?" Your sleep was interrupted by some voices.

"No Aya, she must be sleeping now!" You hear that shrine maiden's voice. What is going on out there?

"Come on, I was just ask a few question, it's won't be hurt for him!" You try to crawl yourself to the window, trying to peeking what is going on out there.

As you come closer to a window, a girl's face coming out from it, suddenly hits you.

*BAM!*

You fall down from your position, all your body feels hurt, but you can't scream.

"Aya!" You hear a footstep coming closer to your position. You look at the girl who hits you. It seems she coming from the window. She has short-black hair, and wearing a- Wait, is that a wing?

"Augh..." She rubs her head. You crawl closer to her; That thing on her back IS a wing. You try to touch it to make sure you are not hallucinating, but she quickly steps back when she noticed you.

"Hey hey hey, what are you looking at?!" She surprised at your action, and quickly her wing is vanished. Gone. Where was she hiding it?

As you got confused with your mind, the door to your room opens, revealing the green-haired shrine maiden. You rephared that; the angry green-haired shrine maiden.

"Aya, can't you interview him later, he's injured as you can see!" She scolds her.

"But Sanae, if I do it later, it would be an outdated news, and it's bad for my newspaper!" She said, then she looks at you. "Since I was already here, let me introduce myself! Shameimaru Aya, reporter of Bunbunmaru newspaper! You must be the outsider that comes here recently! Mind if you answer a few question?" She quickly said.

"Aya, this man cannot answer your question, he... can't speak, okay?" Sanae said the word for you.

"Huh? Is that true?" The reporter looks at you. You give her a nod as a confirmed. "Hum...An outsider that has no capabilities to speak..." She quickly take out her pencil and a note and write something very fast.

Wait...A pencil and a note? That two device can be your chance to communicate to others easily. Being mute doesn't mean you can't express something with words.

"Aya if you have done will you please give him a chance to rest?" Sanae said.

"Later Sanae, he's awake now, that means I can ask him some question!" She continued to write.

You tug the reporter's shirt to gain her attention.

"Huh?" She looks at you. You point at her notebook and pencil. "This is my notebook to keep my materials, what's wrong?" She asked.

You trying to sign that you want her notebook and pencil.

"You me to write about you?" She guessed. You shake your head and sighing, then you snatch her notebook and pencil with your right hand, and quickly write what you want.

"Hey, what are you-" She surprised, but later understand what are you trying to do. You show her your message. "I want this notebook and pencil. Oohhh! Why don't you said it ear- Oh, right."

She considered your plea, then she answered.

"Well, I can give you that pencil and notebook, but~" She quickly snatch back her notebook and pencil. "Answer some question for my newspaper, okay?"

[]Do the interview.
[]Don't do the interview.

---
Footnote

The charm in question: Omamori.
>> No. 21255
[x]Do the interview.
>> No. 21256
This level of quality is unacceptable.
>> No. 21257
>>21256
At least it's readable. But indeed the quality is lower than the previous one.

[X]Do the interview.

To writefag: Take your time, really. Normally stories here takes 1 month to update, and you update under 24 hours after taking votes. Use that 29 days to lurk at IRC and bug the fuck out everyone there until somebody agree to proof your story.
>> No. 21258
>>21256
It's not that bad.

He's as good as Ddyk, I think.
>> No. 21259
[X]Do the interview.

Try to aim for weekly updates at this point as to allow time for proofreading. That and anon's very understanding of proofreader-caused delays.
>> No. 21260
[X]Do the interview

No reason not to
>> No. 21262
[x]Do the interview.

You have the right idea. But please, do get a proofreader sorted.
>> No. 21263
Called. Just to let you know, when I call a vote, that means I already finished writing update for the story.

I'll try to find a proofreader in a week.
>> No. 21264
>>21263
A couple suggestions:
First, the trends in voting for a choice can sometimes change unexpectedly, so it's generally better to call and then write.
Second, in regards to proofreading, try to get one as soon as possible after writing, and don't forego proofreading if you can't find one initially, but also don't wait longer than necessary. And there are people other than Fyhlen in IRC who are willing to proofread, I will if I'm ever on at the same time as you.

Just my two cents, but I'd like to see this story succeed.
>> No. 21265
>>21264
Well, thanks. But well, if looking at the time you post your reply, maybe we will never meet each other in IRC.(Timezone problem.)

Of course there is an easy way: I post the link to the raw(unproofed, using pastebin) update here waiting for somebody to pick that up. I can't do it at IRC because it won't show up at the users who logged off when I post the link. If I post it here, it'll preserved and somebody able to pick it up even when I was not there at that time, and cut the time needed to find a proofreader.

There is some disadvantage though: you can't ask directly to me if there is a question, and everybody else can see the raw chapter.

So...Should I post the link to the raw chapter here?
(Oh, and I still can't find any willing proofreader at IRC now...I know I should be patient but...Yeah.)
>> No. 21266
>>21265
Go ahead, whenever you see this, if you still haven't found one by then.
>> No. 21268
>>21266
Thanks. Here:
http://pastebin.com/xiU4eU6R

Edit: I copy paste the wrong version, here new one: http://pastebin.com/c0gigtEB
>> No. 21269
All right, looked over and corrected. http://pastebin.com/jrF3YtdR

You seem to be somewhat unclear on when/how to use different verb tenses. Also, you had a number of unneeded "then"s, or other repeated phrases.
>> No. 21271
File 133718489264.jpg - (335.75KB, 837x650, 36cd672e1da44efe746d8d4c36f2b907.jpg) [iqdb]
21271
>>21269
Thanks a lot. I will appreciate your help in next update. Hope my writing skill gets better eventually with practice(Yes, I find choosing which is the correct verb difficult).

-----

You nod, agreeing to answer her questions.

"Good! I won't ask much, I promise!" Aya pats your shoulder, which makes you wince because of the pain. Why do people here love to pat your shoulder? She gives her pencil and notebook to you, then produces another notebook and pencil from her pocket.

"Hey...It's really okay with you?" The shrine maiden asks. You nod at her. She then takes a deep breath and sits beside you. "I'll help you, at least that much I can do now."

"Okay, first question! What is your name?" Aya asks. Great, the first question, and you can't answer it. You write your answer and show it to her.

"I don't know...You don't know your own name?" She's looking at you, disbelieving your answer. You scribe in the notebook that you don't remember anything before you ended up in this place.

"Huh? You don't remember anything, like where you lived, your job, what happened to you, really anything?" You nod. She puts her hand on her face, very dissatisfied with your answer, but then goes back to her cheery attitude.

"Well, I can improvise! Next, how numerous are your wounds, and how bad were they?" Well, you can answer this. But before you can start to write, Sanae is already giving the details to Aya.

"When I checked him, his condition was pretty bad; His left arm and right leg were broken, one of his eyes bleeding, half of his face burned, and in his mouth there was some shards of glass...Really horrifying." The shrine maiden explained. That explains why your mouth was full of blood before.

"And you're treating all his wounds? Isn't it hard?" Aya's asking again.

"Of course it is, but thankfully Kanako and Suwako help me, so the work is not really hard. But still, removing all the shards in his mouth..." Sanae says. Aya quickly writes all the information into her notebook.

"Okay, I'm done." Aya says as she finishes writing, and stands up.

"That was really quick compared to when you first interviewed me years ago!" The shrine maiden says.

"Since he doesn't remember anything I can't ask much...Oh well, a promise is a promise, keep that notebook and pencil." Aya says, before jumping out the window. "See you later!" She says, before she releases her wings and flies away. Leaving you and the shrine maiden.

"I wonder what she'll write later..." She mumbles. You ask why with your notebook.

"Remember that she said she'd improvise later? Sometimes she twists the reporting really badly! Imagine, not long ago she wrote about my u-" She stops in the middle of her sentence. You tug her shirt.

"Uhm, no, sorry I can't tell you, it's really embarassing..." Her face reddens. This is bad. You sigh, hoping whatever the news she writes later won't be that bad...

But you wonder about that girl, she has wings. What exactly is she? Maybe this shrine maiden knows more about her, she seems close to that reporter. You scribe your question and tug her sleeve.

"Hum? Uh...Well, she's a crow tengu, of course she has wings." She says casually. Wait, a tengu? The same tengu with a long nose and red face that you've seen in some old dramas? Maybe she is a different kind of tengu, but- wait, that's not the point...Tengu actually exist? How-

Sanae notices your expression and quickly speaks again. "Uhm, this may be hard to believe, but she is. You are no longer in the normal world, this is Gensokyo!"

What does she mean you're no longer in the normal world? Does she mean this is the spirit world? Maybe you got killed and ended up here? No, if you were already dead, she wouldn't be worried about you and your wounds. Maybe this is an imaginary world, where imagined things exist? No... she is normal, you are normal, how- You really want to bang your head against the nearest wall now.

"This may be mind-breaking for you, so don't think about it too much, you will understand later!" She says, to calm you down. You sigh. Now you really want to know how you ended up here.

"Sanae, are you there?" A voice can be heard, then the door slides open, revealing a young girl; she has short blonde hair, and a weird hat with eyes. "Checking on him again?" she asks.

"Uh, yes... Aya came earlier..."

"She must be checking on our new guest..." she says while looking at you, then she looks back at the shrine maiden. "Anyway, will you be going to the village today?" she asks.

"Yes, I will."

"Good!" The girl then looks at you. "Do you want to go with her, outsider?" she asks. The shrine maiden looks surprised.

"Eh?! But Suwako, he is-" The shrine maiden says, but is cut off by the girl.

"There is an old stick in the warehouse that he can use to walk, remember?" The girl answers her, as if she can read her mind.

"But still, the road is uneven, he'll have a hard time walking through with his condition..." The shrine maiden's reasoning again.

"It won't be that hard! Besides, there must be some kind of doctor there. The faster he recovers, the better, right?" She says, then turns to you with a smile. "Of course if you feel like it, that is. So will you go or not?"

[]Go

[]Stay
>> No. 21272
[X] Go
>> No. 21273
[x]Go
>> No. 21274
Yes, walking with a broken leg on a rough mountain road is a great idea.

[x] Stay.
[x] Carefully try to move around the shrine.
[x] Tell Sanae to ask the village doctor to come here.
>> No. 21276
[x] Stay.

>>21271
No problem. I missed a couple things, actually, but I'll try to be more thorough (and get your input if at all possible) for the next update.

And I find that writing generally leads to learning what works and what doesn't, so you should improve if you try.

Also, you might want to delete the pastebin posts after the relevant updates are up.
>> No. 21277
[x] Stay.
>> No. 21278
[x] Stay.
[x] Carefully try to move around the shrine.
[x] Tell Sanae to ask the village doctor to come here.

Practice your walking skill first, after that we can go to village. You are a burden to Sanae if you go now.
>> No. 21279
[X] Go
>> No. 21281
Called. Writing now.
>> No. 21284
>>21276
Incorrect password, can't delete it...

Anyway, finished writing:
http://pastebin.com/3Nu4w8pM
>> No. 21285
Here you go. http://pastebin.com/Sivfy1gH
>> No. 21286
File 133747824447.jpg - (71.79KB, 486x720, 0d22acd46daff6728cf278c96295bc3e.jpg) [iqdb]
21286
>>21285
Once again, thank you.
----

You decide not to come with the shrine maiden. You'll only slow her down, and you wouldn't want to be more of a burden for her if something happened to you on the way. You shake your head in disagreement at the little girl's idea.

"You don't want to?" The girl says. You write down your reasons. She thinks about it for a moment and shrugs her shoulders. "Well, you're right, maybe it's better that you not go." She says, and turns to the shrine maiden.

"Don't worry, I'll try to persuade a doctor to see you here." The shrine maiden says. She stands up and leaves the room. "I'm going now!"

"Be careful, Sanae!" The girl says, then sits down next to you. "Ah, we haven't properly introduced ourselves! My name is Moriya Suwako, nice to meet you!"

Wait, Moriya? That sounds familiar...Ah yes, that charm...Usually the shrine's name is written on the front of a charm like that. Maybe she has a clue about you-

"Outsider, hey!" Her voice snaps you back to this world. You make a mental note to not think about other things and focus when talking to people. "Are you okay?" You wave her off, signaling that you are fine.

"So... what is your name, Outsider?" She asks. This question again... You write that you've forgotten it along with many of your memories.

"That was bad, but don't worry outsider; Sometimes I forget things too, whether it be a promise, or some small things like clippers, scissors-" She stopped, realizing that she was starting to drift away from her point. "But I remember all of that someday or later. Your memory must come back at some point too!"

If only your memories could come back that easily... You smile at her good will anyway.

"Well, tell us your name when you remember, okay?" She says. "Anyway, do you need something else?" Well...You've had enough rest today, and you are not hungry yet. You need to burn calories from your food earlier. And you think you know how. You quickly scribe your request to Suwako.

"Stick? You want to walk around here for a while?" You nod. "Alright, I'll fetch it!" She says, then exits the room.

After a while, she's back with an old wooden walking stick, with a T shape at its top. That should do the trick. You try to stand up; pain strikes your body again, but you try to shrug it off. Suwako holds your body, helping you to stand up.

"Come on, try it!" She passes you the stick. You take it and place it firmly under your armpit. Slowly Suwako releases her grip; now you can stand on your own. You take some steps.

One step... Two steps... Three steps... Left foot... Right stick... You're getting more confident with each of your steps, leaving your room.

---

As you step outside, your eyes are instantly treated to the wonderful scenery of your surroundings; green forest with blue sky and fresh air, like on the top of a mountain. This place is beautiful.

You can also see a woman coming out from one of the houses; she has purple hair and some kind of mirror on the top of her chest, and she looks older than Sanae and Suwako. Maybe she's their mother.

"Heyyy, morning Kanako!" Suwako greets her cheerfully.

"Morning. Where is Sanae?" The woman asks.

"She went to the village, buying some things." Suwako says.

"I see. And that outsider?"

"He lost his memory, but physically he's better now!" Suwako says. You try to step down from the house's terrace to the ground.

As you shift your weight onto the stick, it fails to stay firm on the ground, and you lose your balance.

Bam!

You hit the ground hard. It seems that you're too confident in your walking ability.

"Outsider!" Suwako runs to you, and helps you get back on your feet. "Are you okay?" You nod and try to walk again; you wince, amplifying the pain in your shoulder.

It hurts...This is bad...

[]Enough practice for now.
[]Shrug off the pain and carry on.
>> No. 21287
[x]Shrug off the pain and carry on.

All children fall when they learn to walk.
>> No. 21288
[x] Shrug off the pain and carry on.

No worries, this is a controlled environment.
>> No. 21289
[x]Enough practice for now.

Better safe than sorry and if we over do it, Sanae's going to be upset either at the two gods for not watching over him better or us for being reckless.
>> No. 21290
[x]Shrug off the pain and carry on.

If something happens there's people around, so it's not dangerous.
>> No. 21293
Called. Writing in progress.
>> No. 21294
Here. Work overtime for it:

http://pastebin.com/ZxKiLbbC
>> No. 21295
http://pastebin.com/XWd06rJ3
>> No. 21296
File 133777923120.jpg - (164.33KB, 695x549, a18bfde4208d34d973b3f3008e22cb73.jpg) [iqdb]
21296
>>21295
Thanks. Anyway, should I get a tripcode now?

---
You shrug off the pain. Like this little pain will stop you. You try to walk again.

Pain strikes your shoulder again. You wince a bit. You feel frustrated; what is wrong with your shoulder?!

"Outsider, maybe you should rest for now..." Suwako worries. You shake your head, and keep going. You can't stop now. You don't want to stop. You need to keep walking, to show them- no, show yourself that you won't get beaten by the pain, and you can, and will recover.

Suwako moves forward, ready to stop you whether you like it or not.

"Suwako, don't." Kanako says upon noticing her.

"But Kanako, he-" Kanako shakes her head before Suwako can finish her sentence.

"Look at him. He's trying with all his might. Do you think it's good to stop a child who's learning to walk?" Kanako says.

Your energy drains with each step; less from walking and more to keep your mind focused while pain eats at your body. You need a destination, it's pointless to walk without one. You look at the shrine gate. That should be your destination. Reach it, and you're done.

You think as you walk to keep your mind intact. It didn't hurt this much when you walked earlier. Maybe that fall did something to your left shoulder, as it's the part that hit the ground first. Maybe there was a hidden injury at your shoulder that was left untreated when these people at the shrine checked on you? Not one of them looks like a doctor or anything like that, so it's possible that they missed something. If Sanae can bring a doctor here, he or she can check more thoughtfully on you.

You take your last step; finally reached the gate. You have beaten your pain. You smile at this little achievement, and look forward; There is a long path to the downhill. You laugh, realizing how much you would have burdened the shrine maiden if you'd gone with her. This is just a start, a small step for you. Next, you will walk that long path. You will, someday...

You're really tired now...Yeah, a rest will do you good...Just a little nap...

Your consciousness drifts away...

Bam!

"Outsider!"

---

You see that short-haired girl surrounded by three older boys, really angry.

"Come on, give us those candies and we will forgive you for entering our territory." One of the boys says.

"No way! This is a public playground, everyone can play here!" She resists.

"Want to play rough, eh? Get her!" The boys start fighting with her. She really needs some help. You jump at the first boy and punch him in the head.

"Hey, get off me!" He cried. One of the boys was going to hit you to help his friends, but he was kicked in the groin by the girl first.

"AAAAAHHHH!"

After some punching and kicking, some adults come to your place. That girl tells them what the boys were doing. It's not long before some adults have scolded the boys and taken them from the playground.

"Are you okay?" She asks. You nod, even though you have some bruises on your face and blood coming out of your nose. She has some bruises too. You ask her if she's okay.

"I'm fine! I hope those evil boys will never come here again!" She says angrily. "But, thanks for helping me! Although, I'm afraid to go home now, mom and dad will scold me..." She looks down.

You offer to walk her home if she is afraid.

"Uhm...ehm... Okay then! Thanks a lot!" She says, as you two go back...

---

"...I recommend that you bring him to Eirin, she's better than I am for treating wounds like this."

"I understand. Thanks, Momiji, may I-"

You heard some sounds. People talking.

"Don't worry about it, I'll escort him. Shall we?"

"Okay. See you later, Sanae." Some footsteps can be heard fading away.

You open your eyes. You spotted that shrine maiden again, sitting beside you.

"Ah, you are awake." She looks a bit angry. "What were you thinking, forcing yourself to walk until you fainted! I was really-"

You willingly endure her scolding. Yes, this is your fault. Yes, you made them worried. Yes, you pushed yourself a little bit too far. She finally stops.

"...Outsider, please know your limits. We cared for you, so please, care for yourself, don't take things too far." You nod at her. "A doctor has checked your condition. It seems we missed some wounds when treating you."

You check yourself, it seems your left shoulder has been bandaged too. Your bandage has changed to a proper one, and you can see something green under these bandages. Maybe herbs.

Not long after, the purple haired woman enters your room.

"Ah, Kanako?" Sanae notices her.

"How is he doing?"

"He's been checked. There are some internal wounds that we missed."

"Good to know, then. Anyway, dinner is ready. You haven't eaten anything since this morning right? Suwako is waiting for you too."

"Ah, thanks!"

"How about you, Outsider, want to join us for some food?" Kanako asks.

Eating with them should improve your relationship. You want to know more about them. On the other hand you need to rest after the stunt that you did earlier.

What are you going to do?

[]Join them
[]Rest
>> No. 21297
[X] Join them
>> No. 21298
[x] Join them.
- [x] Ask what the doctor said about your injuries and their suggested treatment (specifically about when you’ll be able to speak and remove the splints).
- [x] It will probably hurt when you’ll try to eat. Ask for some easy to swallow food like watery porridge or soup.
>> No. 21299
[x]Join them

Well that ended like I expected. Must be summer already.
>> No. 21300
[X] Join them. Ask to be spoonfed "because it's hard and hurts to move your arm so much".
>> No. 21301
[x] Join them.
- [x] Ask what the doctor said about your injuries and their suggested treatment (specifically about when you’ll be able to speak and remove the splints).
- [x] It will probably hurt when you’ll try to eat. Ask for some easy to swallow food like watery porridge or soup.

This seems good.
>> No. 21303
Called. Please wait for a while.
>> No. 21304
Next update:
http://pastebin.com/yEr27tjL
>> No. 21316
[x]Try to stand on your own.
>> No. 21320
>>21316

Not yet pal.Next time, wait until it get proofed.(Or wait for one week since it posted, if nobody proof until the time comes I'll post the update without proofing.)
>> No. 21321
http://pastebin.com/AkPfs44w
>> No. 21322
File 133821641486.png - (1.41MB, 1400x1089, 1c598e9facf0ace1574fc6c4d36a617d.png) [iqdb]
21322
>>21321
Thanks.

---

You nod at Kanako, accepting her invitation.

"Good. Can you walk?" She asks. You nod and look around, trying to find your stick; Sanae hands it to you and helps you stand.

"If you get tired or can't walk anymore, tell us, okay?" The shrine maiden says. You nod at her, and walk outside. The pain was still there, but it's ease up, better than when you walk earlier. You notice that it's night now; you must have been unconscious for a long time.

After some walk, you three arrive at what you suppose is the dining room. There is a table here, on top of it there is some variety of food served. Suwako sits at one side of the table.

"Ah, Outsider, you came too! Come on, sit here!" She says. You slowly lower your body; easier said than done, considering that your left leg was splinted. Sanae quickly holds your body, so it won't fall too fast. After you sit properly, she and Kanako sit down at each side of the table. "Eat up, don't be shy!"

Sanae takes up a bowl and fills it with warm rice from a basket, giving it to Suwako. She takes another bowl, and this time gives it to Kanako. She's going to take a third bowl, but stops.

"Uhm, did it hurt when you swallowed food earlier?" She asks. How does she know that? You confirm her guess. "Doctor said earlier that you might have suffered from whiplash." She then takes some soup from a pot and puts it in front of you. Miso soup, you can tell from the smell. "Here! You might not want to eat some rice, but try this soup." Sanae says. This should do, and it's not like you can eat much with your condition. And it's easier to eat soup with only your right hand, your only functional hand at this time.

"Well, let's eat, then!" Suwako says and gobbles the rice quickly.

---

You've finished your food. It seems the others have finished too.

"Hmmm, sooo Sanae..." Suwako starts to talk. "What did the doctor say about his injuries?"

"Well... She mentioned a dislocated left shoulder. Maybe that's what makes his shoulder really hurt, and combined with his whiplash..." Sanae says.

"How is your shoulder now?" Kanako asks you. You move your left shoulder to show her that you are fin- Ouch. Bad idea.

"Don't move it too much, Outsider." Sanae warns you, then continues her explanation. "His head was also wounded from a severe blunt trauma, which might be what's affecting his memories. The doctor also said that he should go to Eirin to check for more wounds, and to correct the position of the broken bones so everything can heal properly. For now, rest and try not to move your body too much, except your neck. Exercise so the whiplash can healed faster."

Well, that was a lot. All of this treatment must be costing them; your money should cover some of it. You take some money from your pocket and hand it to the shrine maiden.

"Eh?! No thank you, keep your money Outsider, you don't need to pay us!" Sanae quickly says. You keep pushing her, but she refuses. You sigh, there must be a way to give this shrine maide- You get an idea. You try to get up from the room.

"Outsider, where are you going?" Sanae asks. She helps you stand up, and walks with you outside, followed by Kanako and Suwako. You look left and right, and find your destination; the donation box. The three women realize what you intend as you walk up to the box.

"You are really pushy, don't you?" Kanako comments. Sanae stops for a minute, then walks to the box.

"Outsider...Are you sure about this?" She asks. You nod, you won't find a better use for this money. You insert the money in the offering box, and pray for your memories to come back, and for your health. Sanae sighs. "Thanks, Outsider..."

"Rest up Outsider, it's already late." Kanako says. You're really tired now. You walk back to your room, escorted by Sanae, who lowers your body to the bed.

"You didn't have to give us your money, you know...I was just happy that you are okay, I can't let people die in front of me, especially after-" Sanae stops suddenly. "Ah, sorry, I was talking too much! Good night Outsider, hope that you have a good rest!" She says, leaving the room.

You wonder what she was trying to say. Ah well. Time to sleep.

---

"...Poor man. Even though I brought you here, you've forgotten everything."

You hear the sound of a woman, disturbing your sleep.

"I thought bringing you here would grant a good ending to your little drama, but it seems the curtain won't be closing soon. Interesting..."

You open your eyes. You see a woman, but it's too dark to see any part of her clearly. You try to get up from your bed.

"No no no~ Stay in the bed. I'll just leave this here." She puts something on the floor, and pats your head. "Until we meet again..." The woman vanishes.

---

Sunshine lands on your eyes, waking you up. What a strange dream you had. You rise, noticing a new object beside you...That was not a dream?

You take a closer look at the object; a pair of glasses. You try putting them on, and your vision's instantly better. Who was that woman? She must know who you are, given that she left these glasses for you. You hope that you can meet her again someday, to ask who you are.

You look out through the window; it's already morning here. You want to practice walking again, but there's no one to help you stand.

[]Try to stand on your own.
[]Wait for somebody to help you.
>> No. 21323
File 133821783746.jpg - (24.51KB, 584x674, note.jpg) [iqdb]
21323
Alright, I just noticed a mistake.
Paragraph five: It should me right leg that was splinted, not left. Funny that I only noticed it after posting it...Derp.

I'll post this picture as a note to you all, and more importantly to myself so it won't happening again.

Damn, I know I should insert something as a password for post deletion...
>> No. 21324
[x] Wait for somebody to help you.
>> No. 21325
[x]Wait for somebody to help you.
I want to be treated tenderly.
>> No. 21329
[x] Wait for somebody to help you.
>> No. 21332
[x]Wait for somebody to help you.

Whoever's doing the proofing is kinda half-assing it, since I still see some errors.
>> No. 21336
>>21332
Really? I see some awkward phrasings still, but no real outright errors. Like what?
>> No. 21337
>The pain was still there, but it's ease up, better than when you walk earlier.
Should be: The pain is still there, but it has eased up, better than when you walked earlier.

>His head was also wounded from a severe blunt trauma
Should be: His head also sustained a severe blunt trauma.

>Exercise so the whiplash can healed faster.
Should be: Exercise so the whiplash can heal faster.
>> No. 21342
Called. This maybe take a bit longer than the usual since I got a assignment to do IRL. Please wait.
>> No. 21346
>>21336

Another issue I've noticed is that tenses are going all over the place. Sometimes in the same sentence, there can be both present and past-tense words where they shouldn't be. It's kind of jarring for people, and I'm not sure which should be stuck to.
>> No. 21375
Here:
http://pastebin.com/6dvnsPrQ
>> No. 21378
[x]Exercise.

But not excessively.
>> No. 21380
>>21378
Not yet dude. Refer to post >>21320. If you want to vote before the actual update come in for whatever means, sage it so it won't bump the story.
>> No. 21384
Alright, it seems this taking a bit too long. If there is no proofing until the next day, I'll post the update without one.

Also, I'll make waiting time for proofing shorter next time. 3-5 days should be enough.
>> No. 21387
File 133915591893.jpg - (204.36KB, 514x714, d57c89ba7e36e3cab7097ada47ba75dc.jpg) [iqdb]
21387
Alright, so...No proofing. Expect errors.

---

You decide to wait for someone to help you. It's risky to stand on your own now. You can try it later when your body was healed. Somebody should come here to help you soon...

"Morning!" Sanae gets into your room, carrying some food for your breakfast. "How was your sle-" She said, before noticing something. "Huh, I did not know that you are wearing glasses. Did you find it? I don't see you ever carry it."

Well, you are not sure if you want to tell her that a mysterious woman comes to your room in the middle of night and gives it to you; The story is too strange to be believed, even to yourself if you don't see it yourself. But you remember that tengu reporter girl yesterday, she is much more unbelievable than that woman. You finally decide to scribe what you see last night anyway.

"Hum...A mysterious woman, huh? Maybe it's Yukari." Sanae said. It seems she doesn't seems surprised or finds it hard to believe. "Don't worry, she sometimes check on anyone who gets here. Back when I was come here for the first time, she was come here to see me once." You scribe again; Asking where you can find her, along with your reason that she might be responsible that you ended up here if what she said about bringing you here true.

"She can't be meet that easily...She pops out only when she wants. And even if you find her, I doubt that she will give a good information to you..." You can hear under her breath that she muttered something about false information on Hakurei Shrine and suggesting to attack Reimu, something that you don't understand, but certainly not a good sign. You sighed, as she maybe the only one who know exactly who you are or what happened to you.

"Please focus on your healing first, don't worry about your past, okay?" She said, then put the tray down, preparing to feed you. You look at the bowl on the tray to see what will be your breakfast today: Porridge. You let out a silence groan and moving your head back and forth, exercising your neck. It's painful, but you want this neck injury to get away as soon as possible, so you can eat some real food without pai-

Ouch. Your neck stiffened. You now can't move your head at all. So much for exercising your neck.

"Outsider?!" Sanae worried about your head position. You slowly try to move it with your right hand; Ouch. You feels like somebody use your neck as a pincushion. You stopped, this is too much for you.

"I know it's hurt, but try to move your head outsider. I can't feed you if your head was like that..." Sanae said. She is right, and you'll be laughed if somebody else see your head like this. You try to push your head again to proper position, this time much faster. You prepare your mind before making the move. This is going to be hurt.

Tak!

You let out a scream, or at least that was a scream if you can produce sound from your mouth. That was so hurt that tears flow from your eyes. At least your head was in proper position again now.

"Are you okay outsider?" The shrine maiden ask. That was definitely not okay, but you'll live. You give a thumb up using your right hand. She sighed, glad that you are okay.

"Next time try to move your head more carefully. I thought for a while that you are breaking your own neck..." She said before taking the bowl, ready to feed you. You are not sure if you'll exercise again after your painful experience. You will do it, but not today. One stiff neck is enough experience for today.

---

You finished your breakfast without problem. The taste is fine, but not really fill your stomach. The shrine maiden take the tray and gets up. You tug her skirt before she can go, you wanted to get outside.

"Hm? What do you want?" You responded by trying to stand up. She catches what do you meant and helps you stand.

"Don't walk too much, doctor said that you better rest and not move your body too much..." She reminds you. "And I don't want another incidents like yesterday, okay?" She added. You nod. It's not like you will be walking much anyway;

You and Sanae leaves the room.

---

You take a deep breath once you are outside. Fresh air mountain fills your lungs.

"Morning!" Suwako runs to you. "That was a nice glasses! Where did you find it?"

"Yukari gives it to him." Sanae answer the question for you. Suwako just nod, not asking even further. "Anyway, give me that tray Sanae, I'll wash it. You talk with our guest, okay?" She said.

"No, it's okay! I'll wash it my-"

"Look, he's going to fall again!" Sanae instantly looking at you, diverting her attention. The next thing she knows that somehow the tray was already taken by Suwako, along with the empty bowl and the spoon. "Now, excuse me Outsider, I have some job to do!" She runs off. Sanae sighed in defeat, and keeps you in company.

You slowly sit on the terrace. You take a deep breath again, and looking at the sight in front of you. It feels good to stay on a mountain.

"Relaxing, isn't it?" Sanae said. "It's really nice to wake up in the morning. The fresh air is too good to passed." You nod. The air, the scenery, the sky... Speaking of which, you noticed that there is no other people that to this shrine. You ask this to Sanae.

"Uhm...The path to this shrine is long and a bit rough, so few people that come to here..." She explained. Make sense, as you recalled yesterday events when you look at the path after the shrine gate. You ask her how far is the nearest village.

"About one or two hours of travel time if you walk on foot, depending on the condition..." That was far. You thought if this shrine can stand out for a long time, without anybody donating and pray here. "But, even though people are rarely come here, it's enough that they have the faith in us. If people giving all of their wealth without any of their faith, isn't it nothing different to not giving at all?"

Well, you can't really say anything, but you think she has a point. Without faith, they will think all praying, rituals, and stuffs as an old tradition, not something that they actually believe.

Not long after, Kanako comes out from one of the room.

"Sanae, don't you say earlier that you'll go to Eientei after giving him food?" Kanako asks. Sanae tap her forehead, reminded something important.

"Ah! I completely forget! Sorry outsider, I'll go now! Remember to rest well!" She said, then flying to the sky. Wait- You rephrase that words and look at the sky again. Yes, she is flying. Literally. How she can do it!?

"Close your jaw outsider; A fly can get inside your mouth if you open it like that." Kanako said, then sit next to you. "You will see many strange things here outsider. I can't say much, but get used to it." She said.

Tengu reporter, mysterious woman, flying shrine maiden...Next what, a kappa mechanist? Alright, clear you crazy thought. You better decide what you will do today. You can try to beat your yesterday record, since it's not as painful to move now, or you can rest, as it's the order from doctor and Sanae. Besides there is many things to do without moving your body much.

[]Exercise.
[]Rest.
>> No. 21389
[X] Go and try to urinate without help. That is vital.
[X] Exercise.
>> No. 21395
[x]Rest.

Doctor's orders and attempting to excercise would only end badly, possibly adding to the recovery time.
>> No. 21399
[X] Exercise.

Nothing too strenuous should be in order.

have to say as much as the errors pained me, it's nice to see an update compelled me to read it.
>> No. 21400
[X]Rest.

Take it easy, will you?
>> No. 21407
Called. Writing now.
>> No. 21434
Finished:
http://pastebin.com/pFGVcqHy

Hope this time somebody was kind enough to proof it.
>> No. 21437
>>21434

The proofreaders would be much more willing to proofread if you gave them less work to do.

For starters, clean up your dialogue structure. The main narrative is in the present tense, so drag all speech identifiers into present (all “she said”, “Kanako informed” should be “she says” and “Kanako informs”). And separate speech identifiers with commas, not full stops. Refer to “writer advice thread” for this, starting from this post: >>/blue/10882
A general example from this update, work through your text and systematically copy the formatting:
>"I won't stop you, but be careful." She said.
Should be: “I won’t stop you, but be careful,” she says.
>> No. 21439
>>21434
Try going into IRC and finding a proofreader and ask them to make some form of notes on what to correct. This way you can see where you chronically screw up and fix it.
>> No. 21442
Alright, fixed as per >>21437's suggestion. Thanks. Still waiting for further proofing from other person though.
http://pastebin.com/A6rLjqjW

>>21439

I try, last time nobody doesn't want to do it. And when I check IRC again recently, the people at there is the same, so maybe I won't get any proof at there again. Well, last time I checked it was really silent at there, and got live once some named people gets logged in. I don't really dare to start a conversation there.
>> No. 21443
I read it on pastebin yesterday, but don't really know how to use IRC, so I hoped that someone will check it. Seeing as only one guy did, I'll post mistakes I see here. If I get brave enough I may try using the IRC next time. You can count on me sweetie. Or maybe I'll drop it on pastebin again, but with more explanation.
the correction that I believe are right http://pastebin.com/7DDKW0Xg
>> No. 21444
>>21443
>more explanations
>corrections
urhghhh what's with me...
>> No. 21445
File 133969579637.jpg - (740.91KB, 1520x1160, 9ecfc5b55098f611d5a007f4b41638d4.jpg) [iqdb]
21445
>>21442
Thanks. This should be enough. I think my main problem is on deciding which tenses and verbs that I should use on the story. I save the note for future reference. Oh well. Enjoy the update.

---

You get up from the terrace, ready to walk again.

"Didn't doctor say that you shouldn’t move too much?" Kanako tells you. She still helps you stand though.

"I won't stop you, but be careful," She says. You'll just take a little walk, nothing more. You take some steps forward with Kanako following you behind, until you reach the shrine gate. Checkpoint reached, easy. Can't believe how hard it was to walk here yesterday. You remind yourself not to get overconfident though, especially with what lies ahead; a long path downhill.

"You want to go down there?" Kanako asks. You nod, and try to step carefully on the rough road. Let's do this again. Right stick, left foot... Sometimes the stick gets stuck in the ground, but you can manage it.

"Where do you will go to, outsider?" She asks again. Good question. You don't know where to go. You will not traverse all this path to the village, assuming the road gets there. You signalled her that you don't know where you'll go. Kanako sighs and shakes her head.

"Well, I know a nice place not far from here. Do you want to go there?" Hmm, it's not like you have a choice. Kanako smiles and slowly walks ahead, leading you. You wonder what the place looks like...

---

"There we go," Kanako stops. You look at the place; A big lake, with some decorated pillars. It was relaxing just to see the scenery.

"So, is it good?" You nod and smile to her, then sit at the side of the lake. You dip your left foot into the water, it's surprisingly warm.

"Do you know that this mountain is an active volcano? It makes the water at the lake always warm." She informs you. You assume that maybe it’s healthy to take a bath here, but the pillars may be a sign that this lake is sacred. "It was Suwako's idea to bring the lake here. I doubted if that's a good idea at that time, but it seems she was right. The water's warm like that when it's on the original place," She says again. Wait, transported? Like, bring the waters to here, or re-create the lake? How? Kanako noticed your strange expression.

"Don't think that too much, outsider, you'll only hurt your head. Just believe that it happens," She pats your head. Whatever, the lake is here; you don't really care about how the lake was formed. Sometimes ignorance can save your sanity. You then ask her why they don’t make this lake as a recreational place, since it’ll bring more people to come here and the shrine. And not counting the income from that.

“Well, it’s not like we’re not trying that before... Maybe Sanae have told you, but this place is far from the village. But what really makes people rarely come here is that humans actually aren’t allowed to come here. There’s a reason why this place is called Youkai Mountain,” she says.

Wait, Youkai? Like that Tengu girl? So there are more of them at this Mountain… But looking at the reporter, it seems it’s not Youkai in traditional terms, if there is one. You decided to ask how hard it is to live here with 2 daughters, and how they can live here, since she said that humans aren’t allowed here. After reading your message, she laughed.

“Who, Sanae and Suwako? No... They are not my daughters,“She tells you. Your face reddens in shame. “Suwako is much, much older than you think, outsider, it just that she has body of a child. And Sanae was a far descendant from Suwako’s family,” She informs. “But me and Suwako treat Sanae like our own daughter, so your guess has not really missed.”

You think for a while, Suwako is older that she looks, fine. You can handle that fact. But Sanae is her descendant? How old is she? Kanako seems not kidding when saying that there are many weird things here. It is not nice to ask for a woman’s age, so you just stay silent about it.

“Well, when we first came here, there was some conflict with the original residents, with humans aren’t allowed and other stuff... but we already managed it. They are actually nice when you are accepted by them,” Kanako says. “Living here isn’t really that hard once you get used to it. Sometimes there are incidents and stuffs...But not a big deal. You might want to back to your own place once you know yourself though."

Yeah, you don’t really want to burden them for long. When you are healed you’ll go search your identity, and go back to your own place somehow. Maybe you’ll help this shrine while searching yourself. They already did so much for you. You’ll definitely help this shrine.

The warmth in your left foot, combined with the soft chilling wind, makes you sleepy. You lie down on the ground and close your eyes-

"Hey, don't sleep here. You'll caught cold." Kanako shakes your body, preventing your consciousness from slipping away. Well, she's right; the air maybe will be even colder in the next hours, so it's a bad idea to sleep in the open space like this. What a shame...

"Let's go back if you want to sleep. Besides, you will be caught by Sanae if you stay here for too long." You nod. Kanako helps you get back on your foot and stick, and then walks away from the lake. You'll go back to that place sometime.

---

You and Kanako go back to the shrine. Suwako stands under the shrine gate.

“Where did you two go?” She instantly asks.

“Just went to the lake, Suwako. He insisted to walk around, so I gave him a destination instead of having him moving around mindlessly,” She explains.

“Ah, why didn’t you tell me earlier? We could've gone together there!”

“Somebody needs to stay in the shrine, you know…” Kanako shakes her head.

“Anyway…” Suwako looks at you. “How was the lake? Did you like the place?” She asks. You confirm her guess. She seems happy hearing your answer. “You know what, Kanako? One day we all should have a picnic once at the side of the lake, like back on outside world!” She suggest.

Before Kanako opens her mouth to reply her, you three noticed that there are two figures in the sky.

“Ah, it’s Sanae. It seems you’ll get checked again, outsider,” Suwako says. You look again as the figures come closer. Yes, it’s that flying shrine maiden, with another flying woman, in red and blue nurse outfit. You take a note to yourself, flying women are usual in this world.

“Welcome back Sanae. I see you successfully brought Eirin here,” Kanako greets her.

“I was planning to take some medicine plants at the nearby field anyway. Killing two birds with one stone,” The doctor says to Kanako. She has long white braided hair under the nurse cap. She carries a big bag, possibly her equipment. “So, is this the patient?” She looks at you carefully.

“Yeah. “I already gave the details about the results of his last check, didn’t I?”Sanae asks.

“You already have Sanae…Anyway, my name is Yagokoro Eirin,” She introduce herself to you. “Is there any room that I can use Sanae?”

“Sure! Follow me.” She leads the doctor to your room.

-----

You got through some check up from the doctor. It took a long time before it’s finished.

“…The burn wounds, second degree burns. It’ll take around three weeks to heal. Expect some permanent scars,” The doctor starts explaining. You try to touch your fac- Ouch.

“Be grateful that it hurts to touch. If the burn is more severe, you can’t feel anything at all,” She says. “And your bone fracture... It should take around three months if you rest well.” She continues. “I couldn't find any wounds in your throat, I afraid the blow on your head affected some nerves that control your vocal chords.”

“Will it get healed?” The shrine maiden asks again in your place.

“Normally, it won’t. But…” She stops for a while. “I can try to create a medicine which can cure it. Maybe there is some side effect. And of course there is a price...”She explains. Well, you are not sure... A chance to be able to talk is always nice. But you worry about the side effect…On yours and the shrine’s wallet. You already cost this shrine much for your treatment. You don’t want to be a bigger burden to this shrine…

“The choice is up to you. Do you want to take it or not?”

[]Take it.
[]Don’t take it.
>> No. 21446
[X] Don't take it.
>> No. 21447
[x]Don’t take it.

I'm more worried about the side effects and her cost... as it might not even be money.
>> No. 21448
[x] Don’t take it.

And thy shall be cured through Faith, not through the poisonous herbs of medicae.
>> No. 21450
[X]Take it.
-[X] Take oath to serve Moriya until the debt is settled.

There are many mute people who willing to give everything that he/she has just to be able to speaking again. Take the risk, and serve Moriya shrine to pay the debt.
>> No. 21455
[x] Don’t take it.
I don't want to be further indebted towards the shrine and I like him being mute personally.
>> No. 21483
Called. Writing now.
>> No. 21518
There you go:
http://pastebin.com/PAKpWtmh
Hope there isn't much errors now.

I'll watch let's play Drakengard while waiting. Let's see how that will affect my writing, shall we?
>> No. 21519
http://pastebin.com/gFgVkDJx
Since I'm such a nice anon I stood up to my word and proofread it with the best of my ability.
>> No. 21520
File 133999704799.jpg - (148.28KB, 850x1261, sample-a406bc34de2964236e6ee698e30d5e5b.jpg) [iqdb]
21520
>>21519

Thanks. I just discovered that some of the errors can be avoided by using Word...Yes, Until now I was using Notepad, because my computer is THAT slow. I'll use Word for future chapters, hope that will reduce the amount of errors occurred, along with the advice and study.

I wonder where is the guy who used to proof this story...

---

No. You can't burden this shrine more. You can't be selfish and accept the offer. You can communicate with other person even if you are mute anyway, albeit a bit harder.. Besides, you worry about the side effect. You shake your head in disagreement.

"Eh?! But this is your chance to be able to talk again!" Sanae surprised by your choice. "Eirin, I will take the med-"

"Sorry Sanae, but I'm asking the patient. If he doesn't want to take the medicine, it's useless to buy it," Eirin says. Sanae looks at you anxiously. "Are you really sure about your choice?" You nod. You are sure about this choice.

"Outsider...Why-" Sanae asks, but gets cut by Eirin.

"Let's not push him, will you?" She said. "Anyway, Sanae said earlier about your amnesia...I can't be sure, but it seems the same wound on your head did it," Eirin explains again. "Did you remember anything recently?"

You tell her that sometimes you remember your past, but not always.

"Okay..." Eirin takes a small book on her bag and starts to write. "What events did you remember?" She asks. You tell her that you remembered your childhood moments, but couldn't remember the details. Eirin look at you sharply.

"Uh...Is there anything wrong?" Sanae asks.

"No, I'm just studying him," She says. "Your memory should recover gradually, but how long it takes, I don't know," She informs you. This is good news, you know that your memory will recover soon."So, let's summarize what you need to do: Rest well, give your body time to repair itself, regularly change your bandage, and you will be fine."

"That's it?" Sanae asks.

"That's it," Eirin confirms her. Wait, what about your eye? You tug the doctor's sleeve and point at your eye.

"Huh? Wasn't it already removed?" She asks back, then looks at Sanae. Wait, removed? You slowly touch your eye hole; it's hollow. You can't feel anything.

"Uhm...The previous doctor removed it, afraid of infection. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you..." Sanae says. You sigh. Let's look at the bright side; you still have one eye to see. Not a big deal. You make sure to treasure that last eye very well.

She and Sanae then step outside, leaving you. You take a peek of them from the window. Sanae talks for some time, then reaches for her wallet and takes some money. Quite a buck actually. Your guess is correct; it takes much of this shrine's money to take care of you. The doctor then says something, and leaves like the way she comes here; flying. Sanae then comes back to your room. You quickly go back to your position.

"Haah...I haven't thought it would be this tiring..." She mumbles as she enters your room, and sits beside you. "Hey...Why did you refuse her offer? You want to be able to speak again, right?"

You sigh and scribe your answer; You already burden this shrine much. You don't want to cost much more just for yourself. You also tell her that you see how much she payed the doctor, much more than you donated to the shrine yesterday. Sanae stays silent after reading your note. You scribe again; this time you assure her that you will be fine, even that you won't recieve your speaking capabilities again, you are live after all.

"Fine if you say that..." She sighs. "Funny that I said it to you yesterday, hehehe..." She chuckles. You give a weird look to her. Did she ever say it?

"Sanae, are you there?” A voice calls from outside; it's Suwako. She then enters the room. "Eirin is already finished?"

"Yes, she is. She leaves immediately after I pay her."

"I wish she could stay for a while for a tea...Well, she must be busy." Suwako then looks at you. "You look sleepy outsider."

Well, this was a long day, and you were sleepy since when you traveled to the lake. You scribe to her that you want to sleep.

"You don't want to eat first?" Sanae asks. You shake your head. You can eat tomorrow. You feel hungry, but it's beaten by your drowsy eye. You lay down to your bed.

"Sleep well outsider, hope you will get a good dream tonight!" Suwako says. She and Sanae leave your room. You close your eye...

---

"Miss Yukari, are you there?" A woman calls.

"Ran, is there something wrong?"

"I'm sorry, but it isn't usual for you to wake up in this time..." The gap youkai laughs a little behind her fan.

"Nothing wrong, my dear. I just watching reality show again," She said, then looking at the gap again.

"Reality show?" The fox youkai looks puzzled.

"Uh huh. Come, sit beside me, we can watch together," She offers.

"I'm sorry, I still have something to do..." She says and then goes away.

"Always a hard worker..." She smiles, then looks back through the gap. "Well, I hope he's hard worker like her... If he wants to get the good ending..."

---

You wake up in the morning again. You start to exercise your neck, trying to make it into a habit. You want to get cured from this whiplash after all.

"Morning outsider!" Sanae, as usual, gets in with your breakfast. "Exercising your neck?" You nod. She then gives you a bottle, full of ointment.

"Use it on your neck, it can ease the pain," She says. You apply it; Hot feeling swarms your neck. Feels much better.

"Come on, you only ate once yesterday, so you must be hungry now," She says while spooning your breakfast; Soup. At least it's not porridge again.

You swallow your breakfast. It's quiet here. Maybe you can ask her a question...
[]Ask her how this shrine gets money, with no prayers on sight you wonder how this shrine can last.
[]Ask her about this place in detail, you need to know this place more.
[]Ask her how she can fly. Maybe she can teach you so you won't need your legs anymore.
>> No. 21521
[x]Ask her about this place in detail, you need to know this place more.

At this rate we'll have to call the MC cripple anon with the way he's racking up injuries. No voice, one eye, etc.

Eirin does seem a bit too money grubbing as she in canon works out payment plans with people, but this isn't the first time canon's been ignored.
>> No. 21522
[X]Ask her about this place in detail, you need to know this place more.
>> No. 21523
[X]Ask her how she can fly. Maybe she can teach you so you won't need your legs anymore.

Let's see how Sanae explain to him.
>> No. 21530
[x]Ask her about this place in detail, you need to know this place more.
>> No. 21534
[x] Ask her how she can fly. Maybe she can teach you so you won't need your legs anymore.

Legs are overrated.
>> No. 21548
Called. Please wait while I do this dreaded exam...
>> No. 21562
Done:

http://pastebin.com/rFVmv451

Tell me if there's less error than the previous update, so I know I'm improving.
Or otherwise, since I still have doubt about some paragraph...
>> No. 21565
http://pastebin.com/TrR3ALb3
You're getting better at this. Just cut down on repeats of the same words in close sentences and watch out for verb tenses (whether they are third or first person) .
>> No. 21573
File 134034441478.jpg - (164.69KB, 850x637, kanakoftaghn.jpg) [iqdb]
21573
>>21565

Thanks. Good to know that I was improving. I think I'll search synonym of some words that I will use often to evade too many repetition.

---

You use your note; asking about this place. You have live here about two days; you better know what this place is.

“Huh? Uhm... Where should I start...“ She thinks about it for a while. You sigh, and scribe again, asking about the name of this shrine and its deity. You better know to who you are praying yesterday. Sanae closes her eyes while massaging her head. You have a bad feeling from her gesture...

“Uh...Well...I don’t know how to say this...” She says. She takes a deep breath and starts talking. “This shrine is called Moriya Shrine. And technically, the goddess of this shrine is... Kanako. “

You look at Sanae for a while with a disbelieving look; that one person who yesterday brought you to the lake? Is Kanako deifying herself? You are confused.

“I know this is hard to believe, but it’s true,” She calms you down. “Do you want me to continue explaining?” Well, you are not sure if you want to break your mind more...But you are curious. Screw that ‘ignorance can save your sanity’, some information won’t make you crazy. You hope. You nod to her.

“Okay, but finish your soup first. You don’t want to eat cold soup, right?” She then continues spooning your breakfast. You wonder about her words. You already saw a flying tengu, flying doctor, and of course, flying shrine maiden, who is feeding you right now. Why not accept the fact that Kanako is a god? You need a proof to conceive your brain that she really is a goddess.

You wonder about the other interesting fact: this shrine is called Moriya Shrine. The charm indicates that you might have connection to this shrine. Or maybe one of the shrine occupants gave it to you while you were asleep to bestow you with good health. You will ask this to Sanae.

After a while, you finish your breakfast.

“Alright, we finish. You want to go outside, right?” She said while helping you stand up. Two days staying here makes her know that you don’t want to stay in this room for long. Not that you hate this room, but... Ah, forget it. Focus on your walk.

----

You sit on the terrace again, alone. Sanae has brought the used food appliances to a dishwasher, or wherever she washes those, you assume. You wait for Sanae, since she hasn’t finished her explanation. Kanako gets out from one of the rooms before her.

“Morning outsider,” She greets you. You nod and look at her; if she’s a god, then she’s the most casual god that you know. “What’s wrong outsider? Why are you looking at me with that funny face?” You shake your head and screw your focus. You must be like a creepy person to her now. Take a deep breath and quickly ask her if she was a goddess, before misunderstanding kicks in.

“Hm? Sanae hasn’t told you yet?” She looks at you. “Yes, I was a goddess. A mountain goddess if you want to be exact, although I more consider myself a wind goddess...” She said. Okay...She is confirming herself as a god, but still, you are not so sure...

“You seem to not believe it.” Kanako says bluntly. Wait, how-

“Don’t lie, I'm aware that this fact is hard to swallow for an outsider like you.” She sighs. “You want a proof, right?” She asks. Right to the point. You slowly nod at her. Doing something, make a motion with her- Wait. The wind is getting harsher...

Okay, too harsh. It’s like a typhoon sweeps your face. Sanae rushes out from one of the rooms.

“Kanako, please stop!” She yells. Suddenly the air calms again. “What is he doing so you do this?”

“Nothing, I'm just demonstrating to him...” She then looks at you, backing at the wall. “Well, it seems I was going too far...” She steps closer to you. “Come on, I won’t hurt you.” Okay, just demonstration, you keep remind yourself, although you won’t look at her the same again...

“What’s going on?” It’s Suwako. She must have noticed the earlier typhoon too.

“Kanako said she was demonstrating her power to him...” Sanae explains.

“He asked for it.” Kanako says. Suwako moves closer to you.

“Not really wise, eh?” She says to you, and helps you get to your foot and stick. “Why did you ask this anyway?” She questions. Kanako looks at Sanae.

“Uhm... I can explain!”

---

“I still don’t understand how asking about the details of this place can end up like this...” Suwako says.

“Well, he will discover about us soon or later,” Kanako says. “I thought making him in debt for us will make him have faith in us. Having a steady supply of faith is nice...”

“Please don’t force him, Kanako... Anyway, keep me and Suwako’s identity in secret, or Gensokyo’s purpose. We can break his mind if we telling him now...”

“You are aware that he will find out about it anyway, right?” Kanako looks at Sanae.

“But there’s no need to reveal/in revealing it all at once, right?” Suwako defends Sanae. Kanako sighs and raises her shoulders.

“Alright. Now, what should we do?” Sanae asks.

“Apologize to him, Kanako. You make him scared after all,” Suwako says to her.

“Fine...”

---

You wait at the terrace while the shrine inhabitants are discussing something. How could this get so messed up? Well, it’s your fault that you questioning her power... Well, it’s your fault that you questioning her power... At least now you are sure that she’s a god. You wonder what they are talking about though... You hope that you won’t get kicked out from the shrine because of questioning her power.

After a while, the three come back to you.

“Outsider, I...” Kanako speaks first. “I’m sorry. I must be scaring you much,” She says. You nod and scribe to her that it’s your fault as well for questioning her power in first place.

“As an apology, we’ll take you to the lake again, to have picnic!” Suwako says energetically. Sanae and Kanako instantly look at her.

“Suwako, I don’t know about this-“ Kanako says before gets cut by Suwako.

“Come on, this will be fun!”

“But Suwako, it’s too sudden!” Sanae protests.

“We only pack some food; it’s the atmosphere that we search, right?” Suwako says.

“Let’s ask him first if he wants to, okay?” Sanae then looks at you, along with the goddess and the blonde. Suwako looks you with pleading eyes, while Kanako shake her head once you look at her, indicating she wants you to reject this plan.

What should you do?

[]Accept. Picnic won’t hurt anybody.
[]Reject. Goddess order, don’t resist her.
>> No. 21576
[x]Reject. Goddess order, don’t resist her.

If Kanako overdoes something like this, I'd hate to see how Suwako does it. That and it might be too soon to be attempting picnics elsewhere.
>> No. 21578
[X]Reject. Goddess order, don’t resist her.
>> No. 21579
[X]Accept. Picnic won’t hurt anybody.

Don't hate the frog.
>> No. 21581
[x] Accept. Picnic won’t hurt anybody.

>>21565
I rate your proofreading as 6/10. Be more attentive.

>“Kanako, please stop!” She yells.
Should be: “Kanako, please stop!” she yells. Here, and everywhere else where dialogue is nearby, downgrade “She” to “she”. Refer to >>/blue/10886 for more examples.
>> No. 21583
>>21581
you can always join. At least someone proofreads.
>> No. 21590
[X]Reject. Goddess order, don’t resist her.

A goddess scorned and all that jazz
>> No. 21613
Called. Please wait.
>> No. 21615
http://pastebin.com/50rzEWJq

Really short one. Also a breather for myself. I'll get back writing in normal speed and length once these exams are over. I hope.
>> No. 21616
http://pastebin.com/e8vn0Gwn
proofread. Anyone willing can check it and original for leftover mistakes.
>> No. 21621
File 134088393499.png - (206.74KB, 600x560, d6c725040c07a84aaad01188d2316228.png) [iqdb]
21621
>>21616
Thanks. Anyway since the proof is expired, I'll post the update now.

---

You shake your head in refusal. This is too soon; you just visited that lake yesterday. You scribe to Suwako that they better have a picnic at some other day and prepare it, so it’ll be more enjoyable, to her, and to the others. Kanako and Sanae look glad that you support their decision.

“Well, fine...” Suwako says. “But still, she better do something for you as a punishment,” she adds. A punishment? For a goddess? You should be glad that you didn’t get flung to the sky and plummeted back to ground.

“Do I really have to be punished?” Kanako stares at the blonde.

“Of course! Didn’t you look at his face? He was very scared,” she says. You wonder how she can be so casual in front of her. Granted, that the goddess in question is very casual too.

“Well, he wanted to know more about this place... ” Kanako thinks for a while, before looking at you. “Do you mind if I take you looking around for a while?” she asks.

“But Kanako, he can’t walk around with his condition like that...” Sanae protests.

“Don’t underestimate him Sanae, he can walk quite a distance for someone who has a broken leg. I’ve seen it myself.”

“ ‘Seen it myself’? What do you-” Sanae realizes and glares you. “You went away from the shrine while I was gone to find Eirin, right?” She accuses you

“Come on Sanae, some exercise won’t kill him, besides; he’ll be bored if he just sit at here and do nothing,” Suwako tells her for you.

“Fine, it’s not like I’ll get angry, but...” Sanae steps closer to you. “You realize that this place is full of youkai, right? Some of them are dangerous to humans, and are more than willing to... eat you. I'm afraid for your safety.”

“Don’t scare him again Sanae, he’s safe here!” Suwako tells her.

“I'm just reminding him to be careful,” Sanae steps back. “Instead of moving around, why not you play some board games? It should keep you entertained for a while.”

“Ah, yes, we have some games that you might like. Igo, shogi... I rarely ever beat Kanako though,” Suwako explains.

“That’s because you take it too lightly. If you will actually think before making a move...” Kanako sighs.

“Games are supposed to be fun, why take it too serious? Besides, the unpredictable opponent is the most dangerous opponent, right?” Suwako says with her usual cheery attitude.

“That’s not the point...” Kanako then looks at you. “So outsider, the choice is yours. What do you want to do?”

[] Go explore this place.
[] Stay and play.
>> No. 21622
[x] Stay and play.

I'd rather not worry Sanae even more and waiting until we're fully recovered would be a better bet.
>> No. 21623
[x] Stay and play.

There's an interesting discussion on /blue/ about bad end.
I'm gonna be a chicken.
>> No. 21624
[X] Stay and play.

Let's see if his cognitive skills, aside from his personal memory, are worth writing to home about.

Can he defeat Kanako~!?

Worth a shot...
>> No. 21625
[x] Stay and play.
>> No. 21638
Called. Writing now.
>> No. 21645
http://pastebin.com/PjWt80HB

Shogi is confusing. And Chess. And any of their variant.
>> No. 21649
http://pastebin.com/RhaLvKjq
>> No. 21659
File 134122751139.jpg - (41.69KB, 410x455, checkmate.jpg) [iqdb]
21659
>>21649
Thanks.

---

You decide to stay here. After Sanae’s warning, you are not sure if you want to go far from this shrine. Besides, you can play some games here without straining your body. You scribe to Sanae your answer.

“Ah, good! What games do you want to play?” Sanae asks. You think for a while. Sanae mentioned igo and shogi... You are not really that good at both of those games...You are not even sure that you ever played these games, but the words feel familiar to you. You decide that it’s better if Kanako chooses instead of you. You tell her this using your notepad.

“Up to me?” she asks. You nod. “Well, we play shogi then. You mind that?” You shake your head.

“I’ll get the board, it won’t take long!” Sanae goes into one of the rooms. After a while, she’s back with a wooden board, and places it beside you. Kanako sits next to the board and opens a small container at the bottom of the board, revealing many pieces of wood with some kanji word on it. She then places those on the board.

“You know how to play this, right?” Kanako asks. You look at the pieces; King, gold general, silver general... Okay, how does this game work? You rub your head in your confusion. Kanako sighs.

“I’ll tell you how to play this!” Suwako sit at the other side of the board, and point to a piece. “First, I’ll tell you the details of each piece. This is pawn. It can only move one square forward. And this...”

---

“...You can win by capturing the opponent’s king, or make them resign. Any questions?” Suwako finishes her tutorial. You rub your head again, confused with all of the info dumped to your head.

“You'll learn this better while you play, practice makes perfect after all,” Sanae says. She’s right. Learning while you play is better than getting the rulebook squished to your head. Not that you don’t get anything from what Suwako though.

“Sanae, you play with him firs-“ Kanako tells her, but is cut by Suwako.

“Kanakooooo~ don’t try to dodge your punishment.”

“But he’s only starting to know shogi, isn’t it unfair if I play against him?”

“Hum...You are right...” Suwako is silent for a while, before getting an idea. “You'll play with some handicap, okay? You get 5 minutes limit to move, while he can take his time as long as he wants. And you'll play without bishop, rook, and lances. Think this as part of your punishment. How about that?”

“Well, if he wishes so,” Kanako says. You think about that for a while, it’s very unfair that she will play with a time limit, considering this is a game of strategy, and on the top of it, she will play without some pieces. You shake your head in disagreement.

“Eh? Why?” Suwako asks. You inform her how unfair this is to her. Suwako giggles after reading your note. “Come on, this is just a game. Don’t take it too serious. Besides... You will need every bit of help that you can get. Believe me.” You take a deep breath and nod to her. It seems she really means it. Kanako then takes some of her pieces away.

“Sanae, can you get a stopwatch?” she asks her.

“Ah, okay!” she disappears into one of the rooms, and comes back with a stopwatch. A modern stopwatch. Wait a minute... You though that this place has no resemblance of technology, but how...

“Uhm, outsider? Can we start now?” Kanako snaps you out from your train of thought. Yeah, better if you concentrate on the game.

She then moves a pawn.

You move a pawn.

As soon as you move, Kanako instantly moves another piece. Well, she is under a time limit, but still, did she put a thought in her move? You move another piece.

Sudden memory rushing into your mind...

---

“Dad, let us play shogi too!” The girl pleaded to an older man.

“But Sanae, you are too young for this game... And daddy is playing with his father right now...”

“Hey, hey. It’s hard to find young players who are interested in shogi, why don’t we give them a chance?” Another man says, and then looks at you. “You’ll play with this lovely girl, okay?”

You nod. He then gives a smile to other man.

“But she barely knows kanji.”

“And? My son barely knows kanji too. This is good for their learning,” The man said with a big grin. The other man is silent for a while, can’t counter his argument.

“Fine, then. Make sure you don’t lose to him, okay?“

“Don’t worry dad, I won’t!” She said excitedly. You and she sit across the board, looking at each other.

“Uhm, who starts first?” She asks to her father. He sighs.

“Hey, you already taught your son how to play shogi?”

“Well, of course...NOT!” He laughs, along with the other man.

---

“Outsider...You're spacing out again...”Kanako snaps you back to reality, again. “Is something wrong with your head?” You quickly shake your head.

“It’s your turn now, go on!” Suwako says. Back to the game then...

---

Time passes. You move another piece. So far, Kanako takes very little time to think about her moves. You wonder if she is playing around with you fir-

“Got you.”

She captures your bishop. Oh no. This is bad...

“Don’t let your guard down outsider! She’ll use it against you!” Sanae helps you in figuring things. You try to reinforce your position to wherever she might drop that.

Next turn, she drops it, unprotected by other piece. This is your chance. You move your rook in position. You can capture it at the next tu-

“Got another one.”

She captures your rook with knight. Straight into her trap. How can you not see this coming?

---

You lose. She eats your formation inside-out. Literally, since most of your pieces are too forward and can’t retreat unless they got promoted, and captured pieces don’t help either. She quickly checkmates your king.

“How much time left, Sanae?” she asks.

“One minute and thirty seconds left,” Sanae informs. Man... You really got beaten, even if she handicapped herself. You lie to the floor and take a deep breath.

“It seems that your plan to punish Kanako has backfired...It seems he was the one that feel punished,” Sanae looks at Suwako.

“Come on outsider; remember this is just a game, right?” Suwako tries to cheer you up. Well, it’s true that this is just a game, but still... You are not sure if you want to play again...

[] Enough for now.
[] Continue playing.
-[] Choose your opponent.
>> No. 21662
-[X] Choose your opponent.
---[X] Sanae.
Maybe something more will surface.
>> No. 21663
[x] Continue playing.
[x] Choose your opponent.

Choose Sanae as the opponent.
>> No. 21666
[x] Continue playing.
-[x] Choose your opponent. (Sanae)
>> No. 21668
-[X] Choose your opponent.
---[X] Sanae.

Dig deep, find shit. True story.
>> No. 21669
File 134146190922.jpg - (26.73KB, 640x480, fail.jpg) [iqdb]
21669
Called. Please wait while I play my old ga-

Alright, I'll be busy for a while. Will write after I rob that goddamn bank.
>> No. 21672
>>21669

Oh man, Uplink. Best part of my high school years was opening my laptop in class after doing the assigned classwork and booting it up.

A few minutes later, I've got a crowd of idiots around me who believe me when I say I'm hacking the school's systems.

I pulled the reversal before they found out for themselves (it's a game, you twats, you just got rolled) and the incident was the talk of English class for the rest of the year.

Good times, man, good times.

And fuck bank log-tracking, they've traced me in less than a minute before. What. The. Hell.
>> No. 21674
Here:
http://pastebin.com/X342rzPK

>>21672
Try remedy that by using gateway that can't be caught by feds...I still get tracked. Oh, and I just noticed that the date is 2010... This is 2012 and still no 200Ghz processors. Man can hope...
>> No. 21676
http://pastebin.com/cxUv6AcU
>> No. 21683
File 134164819262.png - (155.14KB, 1000x1000, 2ac8483491cd818c025b9d3d5a41b912.png) [iqdb]
21683
>>21676
Thanks. I noticed that my old habit comes back(adding -d instead of -s for he/she/it actions, repetition, etc). I wonder why I only notice that when noted/re-read it...

---

Heh, getting beaten once won’t get the best of you. More practice won’t hurt. This time, you’ll choose other opponent - Sanae. She should be an easier adversary, compared to a goddess that just curbstomped you... You give her your note.

“Uh, with me? Okay then!” she looks excited.

“Take it easy Sanae, you don’t want to crush his spirit, do you?” Suwako calms her down.

“Don’t worry, I rarely play shogi, so I won’t be as good as Kanako is.” Sanae says to you. That’s good to hear. She then looks to Kanako. “Should I take a handicap too?”

“No need. You’ll be a better playing partner to him than me.” She gets up, switching place with Sanae. You and she then rearrange the pieces.

“Your turn, outsider.” She gives you the first turn. Well, here it goes. You move a piece.

Sanae looks at the board for a while, then moves a piece. Good that she thinks her move first. You were afraid that she would instantly move her piece, which is a sure sign that you will lose, as your last game taught you.

---

Time passes. You can sense that she plays much more aggressively than Kanako. You better find a hole in her formation that can be exploited... Your knight can-

She moves her bishop, ready to take your knight. You slap your own forehead. You really need to train your awareness, and put more thought before you move. She stops while looking at your expression, and moves to somewhere else.

This repeats for a while, until you realize something: She is holding back. Man, do you play really that bad? You hate losing, but winning with knowledge that your opponent lets you win is... Unfulfilling. You better improve your skill now. You need to let her know that you are a formidable opponent, so she won’t take it easy on you.

You think hard while looking at the pieces...

---

“I got your knight, I got your knight!” The girl gets excited.

“It’s not a game of brute force Sanae...Look,” says the man behind her. You then proceed to capture her rook with another rook across the board.

“Ah, you took my rook! How could you do it?” Sanae looks confused.

“You should be more careful Sanae. Look at the board, all of the pieces, yours and your opponent’s. Predict every move that your opponent will do, and what they can’t do. Just because you can capture your opponent doesn’t mean that you should take it,” The man guides her, and then moves a bishop to take your rook. “Look, he captured your rook, with the cost of his own rook. Sometimes it’s not wise to take your opponents piece. “

“I don’t understand...” She looks even more confused.

“Well, daddy already told you that this game is too difficult for you...”

“Hey,” the man behind you calls him.

“Huh?”

“You should tell that advice to yourself.” He then moves your bishop to take his bishop. “Checkmate, pal.”

“Wha- That doesn’t count, I was just giving examples!“

“Losing is losing; don’t try to dodge that, mate.” The two men then continue to argue loudly.

“I am bored. Let’s play Gundam at my room!” Sanae asks. You nod. You both evacuate from the war zone.

---

“Outsider...Hey!” Sanae calls you out.

“Seriously, I'm afraid that something is really wrong with his head... He’s constantly daydreaming like that,” Kanako states her concern.

“Outsider... You are always spacing out like that. What’s wrong?” Sanae asks.

You shake your head. This is not a big deal. Why is she bringing it up?

“No, please answer me. This is the third time you act like that. If you have another medical problem, tell us. I’ll call Eirin again.” This time, she is pushing you out. You must be looking like a ghost. It seems she really means it. You sigh, before an idea hits you on your head. You then tell her that you’ll tell after this game if she wins. This way, she won’t hold back.

“Promise?” She looks sharply at you. You frantically nod to her. She takes a deep breath, and points at the board, indicating that now is your move.

You look at the board again. She plays almost every piece that she has, while you keep most forces behind, especially rook and bishop. Your last game has turned bad when these two important pieces were captured, and used against you. You know that you better use these two pieces and not cripple yourself, but how to do it without losing them... You suddenly get an idea.

You use some of your turns to bring your pieces into position. Sanae now plays much more aggressively. This trap should work. You hope-

“Watch for your pieces, outsider~” she quickly captures your rook.

Got her. Her bishop is leaving the line unguarded. You move forward your bishop, capture her lance, and promote it.

“Not so fast!” She drops your recently captured rook to reinforce her line, putting your newly promoted bishop in danger. You put the pawn you captured earlier as a meat shield. She quickly captures it.

She took the bait. Kanako smiles, it seems she already knows your trap.

“Sanae, did you remember that knights jump through pieces?” She reminds her. Sanae takes a glance, and realizes her mistake.

“Wha, how can that knight-“

“You are too focused on that bishop.” Kanako says. You then do the obvious move, capturing the rook, and promote the knight. Now you have a bishop, and a promoted knight deep inside her line. She tries moving her own rook to secure the area.

“Sanae, your king...” Kanako reminds her. Too late. You airdrop her lance to check her own king. She is forced to move her rook back to protect the king. You capture it. She pays her king’s safety for her rook.

You can smell your own victory now.

---

She lost. You win. You almost can’t believe it.

“Well, so much for taking it easy,” Kanako comments.

“Ah...Congratulation outsider! That was fun!” Sanae smiles. Well, if she took it seriously from the start, you would've been being the one who lost... But who cares, you won right now. You make sure to not get big-headed from this.

“But outsider, seriously, is there something wrong with your head? What is happening when you are spacing out?” she asks. This thing again... You can tell her if she’s really that curious. But then, this is just a trivial matter... And she loses her bet, to top it.

[] Tell her anyway.
[] Do not tell her.
>> No. 21684
[x] Tell her anyway.

She needs to know if she doesn't already.
>> No. 21685
[x] Tell her anyway.
>> No. 21686
[x] Tell her anyway.
>> No. 21689
Called. Please wait.
>> No. 21712
Done and done:

http://pastebin.com/8EUzs0JL
>> No. 21713
http://pastebin.com/nSqYBpBm
>> No. 21715
File 134210794176.jpg - (302.45KB, 600x708, notrelatedbutsocute.jpg) [iqdb]
21715
>>21713
Thanks.

---

Well, fine, if she really wants to know it. You take your note and-

“Come on, tell meee...” Sanae starts to bug you. You nod to her and gesturing to calm down. Man, why is she really interested? You try to remember what you see; there were you, a shogi board, two men and a girl, and they were playing shogi... What else? Sanae looks at the note while you searching in your mind.

“Uh huh... Were they talking to each other? Who are these men and the girl?” she asks. You try to remember again...

...

...

Null. Void. No result. You just raise your shoulders in defeat.

“You don’t remember?” You nod to Sanae. “How about your first daydream? Do you remember what you saw?” You take your notebook and scribe; it’s hard to remember all of this in your head. It’s like recalling what you dream. Sometimes, it imprints perfectly in your head, but most of the time, it goes away from your memory.

“I see... But, have you ever put a thought on it? Your dreams might not really dreams,” she starts. “It might be your memory that starts resurfacing. Maybe it’ll be good if you put it in your notes. Some of these maybe reminds you of who you are.”

She has a point. The dreams feel very real. If it really was your resurfaced memory, then it is helping to put it in your notes, to help you find out who you really are. But still, you can only remember it vaguely, if you can remember that at all. Man, you hate your weak brain.

“Come on, take your notes and start writing!” She pushes you. Why she’s suddenly turned very active now? You take your notebook and start writing...

---

“Alright, let me see,” Sanae takes your notebook after you finish writing, and reads it. “Two men, a girl, shogi... You didn’t put their appearance? I mean, long hair, short height, anything to recognize them?”

You try to recall your memory... The men seemed not too old, but not young either... The girl also seems not too young... if your memory serves well. Or does it?

You bang your head on the wall in frustration.

“Outsider, stop!” She holds your shoulder. “Don’t overreact! Calm down, take your breath, and relax...”

You breathe as hard as you can, and let it go. Fresh mountain air fills your lungs. Much better... Now write what you can write... No need to overreact over the small things like this...

Sanae takes your notebook again.

“Uh huh, adult men, young girl...” Sanae looks at you. “Well, that’s a good start, just don’t smash your own head on the wall again, understand?”

You nod at her, while massaging your bandaged head. You hope that didn’t make the wound worse.

“Try to write everything that you dream mayb-“

“Sanae, it’s your turn to make dinner!” Suwako’s voice can be heard calling her

“Yes, I’m coming!” She gets up, and looks at you. “Um, can you get the pieces back into the board? No need to bring it back, just leave here after you are done.” You give her a thumb up. She smiles, and goes away.

Well. You better join them soon. Your stomach is hungry. After you finish putting those pieces back into the board. Let’s see... One king goes into the board; another king goes into the board; One bishop...

---

You come to the dining room once you are done. A bit hard standing on your own, but it’s doable.

“Ah, outsider! Come, sit here!” Suwako gives you a place. You sit down at the side of the table.

“That was a good trap.” Kananko says, referring to your last game. “Maybe if you play some more, you’ll able to beat me, just saying.”

Heh. Like you’ll ever beat a god; especially the one who can beat you even with handicap.

“Food is coming!” Sanae comes in, with some plates in her hands. She detours for a few times to bring other food. She shoves a bowl of soup in front of you. Soup again? You can’t wait for a few weeks until your neck can accept harder food. Well, you can swallow those foods, but your neck will be enraged and stabs your pain receptors.

“Let’s eat!”

---

“Anyway...” Suwako starts to talk. “Shouldn't we give him a name? Calling him outsider all the time seems odd...”

“I don’t know... He seems content being called so. Besides, if we knew his own name, we would already call him by it,” Kanako says.

“Yeah, But still...” Suwako looks at you. “So, how about it? Do you want a name?”

You are not sure about it... You are fine being called ‘outsider’, as long as it’s not negative. You want to be called by your true name. But since you wouldn’t discover it soon...Maybe taking a name seems fine...Name only won’t change the identity of the person after all...

[] Take a name.
-[]Let the shrine occupants pick a name for you.
-[] Write a name.

[] Don’t take a name.
>> No. 21716
[x] Take a name.
-[x]Let the shrine occupants pick a name for you.
>> No. 21717
[x] Take a name.
-[x]Let the shrine occupants pick a name for you.

Girls are brainstorming, please wait warmly
>> No. 21719
[x] Don’t take a name.
The last line sounds a bit too ominous for my liking.
>> No. 21720
>>21719
I get the feeling if it's left up to them, they'll likely end up naming the MC his true name by sheer fluke.
>> No. 21721
[x] Don’t take a name.
>> No. 21722
[x] Take a name.
-[x]Let the shrine occupants pick a name for you.

This is just me, but isn't 'outsider' term is offensive in Japan?
>> No. 21726
[X] Don’t take a name.
I like a mute nameless anon. If the name resurfaces, then okay. If not, then he is Anon.
>> No. 21727
[x] Take a name.
-[x]Let the shrine occupants pick a name for you.
>> No. 21728
[x] Take a name.
-[x]Let the shrine occupants pick a name for you.
Too curious to see what is actually chosen to go for Anon
>> No. 21729
Called. Will write soon.
>> No. 21732
Here:

http://pastebin.com/SsgZgxUt
>> No. 21733
[x] Take a name.
-[x]Let the shrine occupants pick a name for you.
especially sanae since she appears in your memory
>> No. 21734
http://pastebin.com/mcMFD6yt
I think that's about it.
>> No. 21735
File 134244483927.jpg - (274.61KB, 600x762, 3687abb4366f9c764e9806bea2903539.jpg) [iqdb]
21735
>>21734

Thanks.

---

Well, fine. Why not? You don’t really like being called ‘outsider’ anyway. You nod to Suwako.

“Ah, good! What name do you want to take for yourself?” She asks.

That’s a good question... Name is something important to a person, since they’ll carry it until their life’s end. You are a different case though, since this is just a temporary name until you find your real identity, but still...

Arrgh. You can’t do this alone. You scribe to Suwako that you need help.

“Help? Okay, we’ll help you in picking a name!” She gets excited. Somehow she’s similar to Sanae with that reaction. “How about Nagai? Or Takamichi? Nakamura? Or-”

“Suwako, stop. Don’t just throw names like that,” Kanako says to her. “He’s very durable, able to survive even with those wounds... How about Iwao?”

“That’s not good; it could imply that he’s stubborn. Why not something common like Kenta?” Suwako rejects the idea.

“Being stubborn is not always bad, and why Kenta?” Then they both go into quite a long argument which name will fit you.

You massage your own temple; what did you say earlier that name alone doesn’t make the identity of the person? Wait, you didn’t say it, you only thought about it.

“You already put the pieces back, right?” Sanae says, distracting you from the argument. You nod in response. “Don’t worry about bringing it back. If you open the store house not carefully, the things inside will spill out and overwhelm you. I once got an old book fall on my head. It hurt...” She continues while pointing her head.

“...What? That name is not outdated,” Kanako exclaims. From the sounds of it the discussion has already sidetracked to god-knows-where.

“ Of course it is don-” Suwako stops and... stares at Sanae?

“Uh...What?” She looks confused.

“Sanae, you haven’t even contributed a name. What is your suggestion?” She asks. Kanako also stares at her too. She looks at you for a while; you can only raise your shoulder, whatever name she proposes is fine.

“Uhm... How about Nobu?” The goddess and the blonde girl look at each other. You instantly nod and give Sanae a thumb, before they can argue about it again. You are okay being called anything, as long as it’s not negative. You are grateful for their effort to decide your name, but it’s an overkill to argue for a long time over a temporary name.

“Well, that’s fine. It’s good, don’t you think so Kanako?” Suwako are the first to react.

“That’s okay,” she only shrugs and drinks her tea. Good... All of this makes you sleepy...Maybe you used your brain excessively today. You let out a yawn.

“Ah, must be getting really late into the night now. Come on, I’ll help you get up,” she says, and holds your body. You stand and walk back to your room with Sanae.

“Good night, Nobu!” Suwako’s sound can be heard from behind.

---

“Hey, you really okay with that name?” Sanae asks while you both walk. You confirm to her with a nod, that’s fine with you. Having a name with only two syllables will be easy to remember.

“Uhm, this maybe sounds silly but... You do have faith in us?” She asks. “When you prayed and gave your money at the other day, did you really do it with your faith?”

Eh...At that time you didn’t even know who is the deity of the shrine, so you can’t say that you gave it with your faith... But after Kanako showed her power, your doubt was cleared... But another question raises, will she really bless you with good health and your identity? She doesn’t know who you are, so she-

Wait, let’s rethink this from the other perspective; she lets you stay in her shrine. She uses her funds to take care of you. She’s with you when you go to the lake. She helps you picking name.

She’s actually granting you good health and identity.

Another doubt is cleared. You see no reason for not putting your faith in this shrine. You nod to Sanae. She smiles happily with your reaction.

“I’m glad... If only there were more people like you, we wouldn’t need to move the shrine...” She mumbles something that you don’t understand.

Not long after, you both arrive at your room. Sanae tries to reach your body, but you dodge her.

“Eh, what’s wrong?” She asks. You want to sit on your own. You try to lower your body on your own carefully. Slowly...No, with your splinted left leg, you find the task too difficult. It’s easier to sit and stand at terrace because there’s higher place to place your body, but on a flat bed... After a while, Sanae holds your body anyway.

“Try to lie down on your own once you finish healing, okay?” She says once you lie down on your bed.

“Good night, Nobu,” Sanae repeats what Suwako said to you. Well, you will get used to that name, sooner or later. Time to sleep.

---

“Nobu, eh? Cute name I must say. She’s good when picking name. Fits well with your purpose in this shrine.”

You hear sounds again. You take your glasses and look; now the woman’s look is clear.

“Although I liked your name when you were in outside world more. Only a bit.”

She has long blonde hair, and half of her bod- what the hell is that hole with eyes? It violates your sense, somehow. It just floats out of nowhere.

“Well, any name doesn’t really matter, whatever to do to make a new life here...”

Wait, new life? Name in outside world? You try to reach her, asking her a question. She must know your past, and what happened to you. As soon she realizes what you are trying to do, she gets into the hole and vanishes.

“Do you really want to know your past?” You turn around; she’s now at the ceiling. How can she appear like that? You can’t really do anything with your condition now. “Live your current life to the fullest and I’ll tell you someday. Goodbye~“

She winks, gets into the hole and vanishes. Live your life? What does she mean? Why she did not want to tell you your past? What secret lies in your past?

You can’t sleep that night.

---

“Good morning Nobu! Time for breakfast!”

You can hear a sound calls.

“Come on, wake up!”

Something shakes your body.

[] Rise from your bed...
[] Five more minutes...
>> No. 21736
[x] Five more minutes...
>> No. 21737
[X] Rise from your bed...

As if being nearly mauled to death and recuperating slowly with a bit of amnesia gonna stop me from waking up early habitually.
>> No. 21738
[x] Rise from your bed...
>> No. 21739
[x] Rise from your bed...
>> No. 21740
[x] Rise from your bed...
>> No. 21742
[x] Five more minutes...
>> No. 21745
Finished:

http://pastebin.com/Zft4nGrk
>> No. 21760
http://pastebin.com/Maw16sEe
I hope I got the most of them.
>> No. 21762
File 13427675548.jpg - (90.38KB, 800x450, somehowrelated.jpg) [iqdb]
21762
>>21760

Thanks.

---

Note: The option chooses whether Sanae will wake you up or leave you in your dream.

---

Your consciousness starts slipping away again. You can eat your breakfast later...

“Hm... I better try this...”

You hear some rustling sounds. After that, you can hear someone humming, a song maybe.

“I command you, to rise from your bed, and go eat your breakfast!”

Something hits your face.

*Croak!*

You panic and slap away whatever it is that has hit you. You take your glasses and look at that thing; A frog?

“Hum, maybe I should call down a very tiny lightning instead... Sorry mister frog!” It’s Sanae.

*Croak!*

She grabs the frog and puts it on the window. It then jumps away outside.

“Good morning Nobu!” She greets you. You suspect she’s the one who put a frog on your face. “You shouldn’t hit that poor frog; it can get hurt...”

Well, if she’s not putting a frog on your head you wouldn’t hit it on the first place... You scribe this to Sanae.

“But I saw you wouldn’t wake up soon. I don’t want the soup to get cold,” she defends herself and takes the bowl. You are still sleepy... But you don’t want to get a frog on the face again. Besides, you are hungry anyway.

---

You finish your breakfast. As usual you try to exercise your neck around.

“Anyway...” Sanae puts the empty bowl aside. “Is there anything wrong? It’s unusual to find you keep sleeping at this time.”

You explain everything about last night's events, how she pops into your room, commenting on your name, and that she’ll tell you your past someday if you live your current life to it's fullest. It’s easier to tell her now, since you know that all of this was a normal occurrence, judging from how Sanae told you yesterday.

“Yukari again? Hmm... It’s unusual for her to show up this often...” She mumbles. “Are you really sure she said that?” She asks again.

You nod. You can’t remember the exact words, but that’s overall what she said. Sanae thinks again.

“It’s clear that she’s really interested in you. I wonder why...” Sanae mumbles. You ask how she knowing your name, even when it’s decided yesterday, and only four people knew about it.

“Uh...” She rubs her head. “It’s complicated if I explain the details, but she can appears at anywhere she wants, so if she knows, I won’t get surprised. Maybe she overheard our conversation from somewhere hidden when we discussing your name.”

That’s creepy... So you basically got a stalker watching your actions. You ask again how to get rid yourself of her attention.

“Well, I can’t tell you...Maybe she’s hearing our conversation, you know, right now.”

You look around. Up. Down. Left. Right. Looks clear... Sanae giggles at your reaction.

“I’m just kidding!” She pats your unharmed shoulder. Great, she successfully makes you a paranoid. “You can’t really do something to her. She should get bored eventually, so don’t worry, okay?”

Right...Waiting for a stalker to get bored... At least this stalker will reward you... Someday. The problem is that you don’t know how long this ‘someday’ is. Days? Months? Years? Or she is maybe just bluffing-

Nah. She’s the one who gave you the glasses that you wear now. She couldn't have known that you are short-sighted just by looking. She must have been looking at you at some point in past. Maybe you know her from somewhere...You better ask Sanae if Yukari ever made a promise with her too-

She’s gone. Must have went away when you were busy in your thoughts. Now how will you stand up...

Alright, be creative... Have you ever stood up on your own? Yes. When? Yesterday. Why? Because nobody was near you, and you can’t call for help. How? By using the lower ground below the terrace to put your foot steady.

Alright, better get moving to the terrace now. You use your left leg and right arm to move your body. Going forward slowly...

Checkpoint; Door. You can’t reach it from the front because your splinted right leg will hit the door first. Okay, how to do this? You think for a while how to do it without breaking the door, before trying it. You turn your body, move backwards until your hand can reach the door, and slide it.

Easy. You turn around again to look outside the ro-

*Bam!*

Your right leg hits the door. Either you opened the door too narrow, or turned your body at the wrong place. You scream in pain, except without the sounds of your agony.

Clear your mind, move on, don’t let this stop you. You turn your body back and start moving backward again. Okay, moving past that cursed door should be-

*Bam!*

-Terrace.

You hit the ground, back first. You curse that goddamned door, goddamned terrace, goddamned right leg and left arm, and your goddamned life for at least one minute. You want to stay in that position for a while...

No. You don’t want to be found in this position. Imagine how long Sanae will nag you for this. You try with all your might to climb back to the terrace. Your heart beat gets faster. Adrenaline flows into your head. You put all of your strength into your right arm.

After some struggle, you finally bring your body back to the terrace. Good... You will stand later... This terrace suddenly looks good to lie down... You look at your room. So much pain must be felt to be able to reach he-

Is that your stick at the side of your bed?

Realization hits you; Even if you reach here unharmed, you’ll need to go back to your room, because you don’t have a stick. Jumping around with one leg will tire you out shortly.

Well, at least it was a good exercise, and not as bad like when you walking to the gate...

You need another sleep...

---

You wake up, still at the terrace. Only the sun’s position has changed. That’s a really good rest. There’s one thing that bugs you now.

Where is everybody?

[] Look for them at the buildings.
[] Wait.
>> No. 21763
[x] Look for them at the buildings.
>> No. 21764
[x] Look for them at the buildings.
>> No. 21766
[X] Wait.
>> No. 21767
[X] Wait.
>> No. 21770
Tiebreaker needed. If there's no vote until the next day then the fastest vote wins.
>> No. 21771
[x] Look for them at the buildings.
>> No. 21772
[X] Wait.
Douche mode activated.
>> No. 21774
[x] Wait.
>> No. 21775
Called. Wait wins by quantity. Please wait. This will take a bit longer...
>> No. 21776
Job's done:
http://pastebin.com/X4J7A6F4
>> No. 21777
and here's a proofread
http://pastebin.com/sV375zBR
>> No. 21779
File 134345433868.jpg - (388.84KB, 800x600, notrelated.jpg) [iqdb]
21779
>>21777
Thanks.

---

Hm... Maybe they are not even in this shrine. They must have went somewhere, or are doing something important, either way, it's not worth it to search for them.

But staying here with nothing to do... If not for these splinted leg and arm, you would sweep the floor, or mop the terrace… anything to waste your time. Come on, think, what can you do now? Play another game of shogi? Wait, it's supposed to be played between two persons, and you don’t know where Sanae stores it...

You look around; there must be something that you can do... You spot your stick, still not moving like when you looked at it earlier. Better grab that damned stick first.

After some crawling, you take that walking stick and bring it with you to the terrace. This time, no accident happened. Maybe that stick already has enough laughing on your stupid act, and decided to follow you, if it is alive at the first place. Maybe you were cursed by your previous god for converting to Kanako. Maybe Kanako decided to toy with you for some laughs and give you some misfortune-

Nah. Enough with your irrational thoughts. If she can read your thoughts now, she’ll sweep your pathetic mind; and life, with a tornado. Good that she isn’t here...

It seems you are stuck with one thing to do: Exercise. Better die standing than live lying.

You start with practicing walk from terrace to the ground back and forth. This way, you have reduced your chance to fall down. Or actually, increased it, because the more you walk, the more likely you will fall someday. Like why airplane has less accident than car.

Meh, just do it, would you?

---

You walk back and forth for some minutes. Stepping over some little stairs quickly bored you. Why are you doing this anyway?

Alright, time to change your exercise. Shake your head. Shake it like some ecstatic monkey. Ignore the pain, and shake your head. Follow the mu-

There isn’t any music. You wonder if there isn’t any radi-

There isn’t any radio. Better you hummin-

There isn’t any sound. Ah, what the hell, just move your sorry neck-

*Tak!*

Your neck stiffened, again. Yes stick, laugh. Laugh at your pitiful master. Your self-loathe officially increased again today.

*Taptap!*

Wait, what was that sound?

*Taptap!*

You move your body to look around, still with that displaced neck. From the sounds you can judge that somebody is coming here. Maybe those shrine dwellers have gone back from whatever they do. You look at the gate, waiting for their arrival.

*Gasp!*

Instead of any of the shrine dwellers, an unknown person comes here. Upon feeling your presence, she immediately hides herself behind the wall, most likely surprised. From the sound of her gasp, it's clear that she’s girl. You can’t take a look at her, but you sure it’s not one of the shrine occupants, since they won’t hide from you.

Maybe she’s coming to pray at here? Then why is she hiding from you? You know that your presence is not expected, since you are new. And to think of it, a male in a shrine that’s consisted entirely of females is... Questionable.

Uh oh. She can take it wrong. They only take care of you. You don’t want to cause a bad reputation to this shrine.

What should you do?

[] Go closer to her.
[] Wait until she comes out.
>> No. 21780
[X] Wait until she comes out.
Since we are mute, we better wait until she comes out and starts questioning. Or we begin wrighting in notebook.
>> No. 21781
[x] Wait until she comes out.

sounds like everyone's favorite Kappa is here.
>> No. 21782
Called. Please wait.
>> No. 21784
Here:

http://pastebin.com/v2YP5nRF
>> No. 21785
http://pastebin.com/DKXuy9jw
that's about it.
>> No. 21786
File 134398146791.png - (376.95KB, 660x849, e85af54921188bcf92ed9620edbf8e13.png) [iqdb]
21786
>>21785
Thanks.

---

Better wait for her to show herself. You don’t want to freak her out.

“Uhh...”

She peeks a little from behind the wall. You can see her head; having blue, short hair, and wearing a cap. Must be a really shy girl. You give her a sign to come closer; no harm will come to her.

Slowly she emerges from the wall and walks towards you. She wears a weird dress, but no weirder than Suwako’s hat though. Behind her is a rucksack that she carries along. She starts opening her mouth once she gets closer.

“I've never seen you before... And your clothes are different from what the people of the village wear... Who are you?” She asks while looking at you, from head to toe. You take your notebook an-

Wait. You touch all your pockets. Uh-oh. Where is it? Come on, think; the last time you were holding it was when you talked to Sanae. Maybe it’s still in your room.

“Um, is there anything wrong? Why are you always looking sideways? Isn’t it uncomfortable?”

Yes. There is. You are mute; you can’t communicate using your voice. That is really wrong. Why she can’t understa- Head? Damn. Your neck is still stiff and it holds your head at horizontal position. You slap your forehead; you must be looking like an idiot now. You sign her to wait for a while. You need to re-position your head first.

Ready? In three, two, one-

*Tak!*

Ouch. It Hurts. Really hurts. Tears flow from your eye. The girl also seems horrified by your action. Take a deep breath... Wipe your tears... Don’t scare the prayers who come here...

“Are you okay?”

You carefully nod to her, in case your neck stiffens again, and smile. Come on, where’s Sanae? She’s the shrine maiden; she’s the one who does the rituals and stuff.

“You still haven’t answered my question...”

Ah, how rude of you. You sign her to wait, since you can’t talk without the book. You walk to your room and search for the notebook.

Few minutes passed. You can’t find it.

“Ah, Nitori, what are you doing here?”

That’s Kanako’s sound.

“Oh, good evening! We were waiting for you at the base, but you didn’t come at all...“

“Sorry, I needed to prepare something first. I did not expect it to take this long.”

You give up on your search. Can’t find the notebook in this room. Better find another way to talk to her...You walk back to outside.

“Anyway, who is he?” You get pointed at once you get out of the room.

“He’s Nobu, an outsider. Hasn’t Aya included him in her newspaper?”

“Oh, him! But the newspaper said that he doesn’t have a name,” the girl looks puzzled.

“We picked a name for him. He agreed to it,” Kanako says, and then gives a sign to you to join the conversation.

“Hello... So, is that true that you cannot speak? “

Well, duh. You nod to her.

“Sorry, I don’t know that it’s you. I thought that you refused talking to me...” She looks down, not daring to look you in the eye. She looked really cheerful while speaking to Kanako, but instantly lost that attitude while talking to you.

“Better to introduce yourself, will you?” Kanako urges the girl to speak.

“Umu, okay... My name is Kawashiro Nitori...I'm living at the base of the mountain, nice to meet you...”

There was some uncomfortable silence after that. It seems Nitori doesn’t know what to say next.

“Anyway, tell the others to go home, it’s too late to do the test today. We’ll do it tomorrow,” Kanako pets the girl.

“Okay! See you tomorrow!” She runs away, to Kanako-knows-where. Although you are curious about the ‘test’ that Kanako talked about, you can’t really ask her now.

“Don’t worry about her. She gets really shy when she meets with a new person,” Kanako tells you. Well, you can only nod to her. It’ll be hard to be friends with introvert person like Nitori, but if you talk to her frequently, she’ll show her cheery attitude.

If you talk to her frequently, that is. You don’t know how far the base of this mountain is, or how often she comes here. Heck, she doesn’t even pray here. She even looks really friendly with Kanako. Maybe she is another goddess? But goddess can’t be shy with humans like you... Or she was-

“Nobu, I see your clothes are dirty now... What happened to you?” Kanako’s voice drifts you back to your senses. “You didn’t secretly go away from this shrine, did you?”

Instantly you deny her accusation. You can’t go far in this state, why going outside?

“Alright, alright. I believe you.” she stops your shaking head. “But still, you haven’t taken a bath since coming here, right?”

Uhm, no. You don’t remember ever taking a bath here. You don’t even know when your last bath was. You sniff your own body; can’t smell anything bad. Granted, it is your own smell, you can’t really feel it alone. And since she mentions it... Maybe you could use some bathing...

But in your condition, it’s a bit dangerous to take a bath, since you could slip and hit the floor. And it’ll be hard to take your clothes off...

[] Try to take a bath.
[] Don’t risk it.
>> No. 21787
[x] Try to take a bath.
>> No. 21788
[x] Try to take a bath.
>> No. 21789
[x] Try to take a bath.
>> No. 21791
[X] Try to take a bath.
Bu~ut ask Sanae to help you.
>> No. 21793
Here:

http://pastebin.com/m37HsPsc
>> No. 21796
http://pastebin.com/zXqNrdHH
>> No. 21799
File 134441552182.png - (874.55KB, 800x829, dae31a33b407538015eaacc6ec5d9d1c.png) [iqdb]
21799
>>21796

Thanks. Anyway, can I get a note next time on what is the mistake that I frequently do when writing? I feel that I fell to the same error frequently...

---

Alright, better take your time to wash yourself. You can’t let your smell annoy the dwellers. Besides, it’s itchy to have a dirty body.

“Come on, you need to take a bath. It should make you relax,” her hand signs you to follow her, which you do.

“Hey Nobu, guess who~”

Someone covers your eye. You can guess who that is. How to tell her, however, is a different story.

“He knows it's you, Suwako,” Kanako turns around.

“Aw, don’t be such a spoilsport!” She lets your head go. “Anyway, what will you two do?”

“I’ll take him to the bathroom. He does look dirty, doesn’t he?”

“Well, that’s correct...” Suwako looks at your body. “But, can you wash yourself with that splinted arm and leg?”

You nod. You’ll find a way.

“Let me take an extra towel,” Suwako sighs and goes somewhere.

---

After some walking, you both arrive to the traditional bathroom. You noted how far the distance between it and the toilet is. Wonder how the sewages are connected to each other.

Suwako reveals herself behind you, giving a blue towel. You notice something on it: Hagane’s Bathhouse. Wait a minute... How could she get it?

“There’s soap and scoop under the stool. The water will be a bit cold though. You okay with that?” Suwako asks, and you reply with a nod again. She should not worry about you, if broken arm and leg won’t stop you from taking a bath, why mere cold water will?

“After you have done taking a bath, just leave the dirty clothes at the tray,” Kanako points to the wooden tray.

“But Kanako, what will he wear? We don’t have any suitable clothes for him...”

Both of them are silent for a while, before Kanako slaps her forehead.

“How could I forget about this...” She mutters. You can’t see why this troubles them, since you can just wear the dirty clothes again. “Too bad Sanae already went to the village. We could ask her to buy some clothes...”

“Uhm, why doesn’t he wear something from Sanae’s clothings for a while? It looks like they would fit him,” Suwako suggest, and both of them look at you.

Hahaha, No. Wearing a girl’s clothes is... humiliating. You shake your head in heavy disagreement.

“Come on, this is just for a moment, until we can get clothes for you! Nobody will see you!”

“Sanae won't like it when she finds this out...” Kanako shoots down the idea.

[] Reluctantly agree with Suwako. You don’t like it, but you need another piece of cloth to wear; and this one is too dirty...
[] Wear this dirty shirt. It’s a better option than Sanae’s clothes. Until you can get a proper cloth.
[] MANLY MEN SHOW THEIR MUCSLE Go topless. Unlike these ladies, you are a man. Not wearing any shirt is fine for you.
>> No. 21800
[X] MANLY MEN SHOW THEIR MUCSLE Go topless. Unlike these ladies, you are a man. Not wearing any shirt is fine for you.
-[x] Actually on second thought can't you just make a toga out of bed sheets?

Because all stories need togas.
>> No. 21801
[X] Reluctantly agree with Suwako. You don’t like it, but you need another piece of cloth to wear; and this one is too dirty...

Crossdressing option is the best option.
>> No. 21803
[x] Reluctantly agree with Suwako. You don’t like it, but you need another piece of cloth to wear; and this one is too dirty...
Trap will make this story have more comedy :>
>> No. 21804
[X] MANLY MEN SHOW THEIR MUCSLE Go topless. Unlike these ladies, you are a man. Not wearing any shirt is fine for you.
-[x] Actually on second thought can't you just make a toga out of bed sheets?

I don't want to tick off Sanae or do a horribly cliched crossdress scene.
>> No. 21805
[x] Reluctantly agree with Suwako. You don’t like it, but you need another piece of cloth to wear; and this one is too dirty...

U can do it :P
>> No. 21806
[♂] MANLY MEN SHOW THEIR MUCSLE Go topless. Unlike these ladies, you are a man. Not wearing any shirt is fine for you.

If Sanae comes back, and you're wearing her clothes, that's a bit creepy. Also, Yukari. Why not show off them muscles/scars?
>> No. 21807
>>21803
>Trap will make this story have more comedy :>

>>21805
>U can do it :P

We don't use emoticons here. >>/gensokyo/6052
>>21805, in particular, use proper english when posting. Don't replace "you" with "u", it looks moronic.

And did the proofreader (not to mention half the voters) seriously miss "mucsle" as a misspelling for "muscle"? Really?
>> No. 21808
[X] Reluctantly agree with Suwako. You don’t like it, but you need another piece of cloth to wear; and this one is too dirty...

I'm sure Sanae will understand.
>> No. 21809
[X] Reluctantly agree with Suwako. You don’t like it, but you need another piece of cloth to wear; and this one is too dirty...
Show them your mucsular legs in a skirt.
>> No. 21812
Called. Anyway, somehow I fucked up the BBS code in the last update when pasting the story. Sorry, I hope this won't happened again.
>> No. 21828
Here:

http://pastebin.com/b42fzU25

Good news and bad news:

Good: I got a new laptop.

Bad: Windows 7 basic, means no office, means no standard grammar checker. So my typing will worsen without proofing. And new vidya to play, expect more delay than unusual. Should be wear off after a few months.

Wait, that's all bad news.

Fix: accidentally put name in e mail field. The hell, me?
>> No. 21830
>>21828

Both OpenOffice and LibreOffice have built-in spellcheckers and are freeware.
>> No. 21832
>>21830

They take some getting used to after using Word though.

Anyways, I just started proof reading it as the last guy let a few typos slip through. You may want to have someone else proofread the updated version when it's posted, just to double check that nothing else is left.
>> No. 21833
>>21832

http://pastebin.com/xPYwbJiN

Well, I've finished. Again, you may want to double check it yourself just to make sure that it fits with how you want the story to go.
>> No. 21836
File 134520873792.jpg - (232.25KB, 1000x829, relatedinslightestsense.jpg) [iqdb]
21836
>>21833

Thanks. Waiting for a day for further proofing, but no one do it. Seems enough.

---

It’s nice to sometimes to see a man cross-dressing as a girl. It’s amusing to find an extremely attractive girl, and later on discovering that she’s actually a ‘he’, or the reverse, of course. The fact that someone can be very feminine or masculine regardless of genders reminds you that the differences between woman and man are insignificant, and all people are equal in general.

But that is NOT the case.

It’s not like you hate cross-dressing, but... Give your body a girl’s cloth, and you appear as a man with a girl’s cloth. Add a wig, and you’ll look like a man with a girl’s cloth. If add some make-up like lipstick or powder... None of them fit at all...

Bah. Screw that. One muscular K-1 champion cross-dressed when he entered the ring, why don’t you? Anyway, you’ll only wear the clothes for a while; this is an emergency situation, which is understandable. You slowly nod to Suwako.

“Really? Good! I’ll get it right away!” Suwako runs away. Kanako sighs shakes her head.

“I can’t believe you accepted her idea...” She mutters under her breath. “I’ll watch Suwako so she won’t take anything too weird. Stay here, okay?”

Yes, please. Sanae can’t only have skirts and stuff like that. You want to believe that she has something that is more ‘gender-equal’. You nod. Kanako has given you a faint glimmer of hope...

-----

“Hmm...” Suwako looks puzzled. She’s now stands in front of Sanae’s wardrobe.

“Is there something wrong?” Kanako asks as enters Sanae’s room.

“Well... I don’t remember Sanae having so few clothes...” Suwako says while looking at the half-full wardrobe. “And where are the jeans? I remember that Sanae has some...”

“I thought you’d give him a skirt,” Kanako grins.

“I don’t want to, but...” She turns back and lies against the wall. “There isn’t anything suitable for him... We have no other choice...”

-----

Suwako and Kanako are back. And in Suwako’s hands are... A sailor’s uniform?! The hell...

“Nobu... Sorry... I can’t find other clothes that fit you...” Suwako bows a few times. You quickly stop her. You don’t like it, but it looks like that she really couldn’t help it.

“She’s telling the truth; I saw the wardrobe myself.” Kanako takes a deep breath, reinforcing the child’s statement. You take the uniform and look at it; at least it seems neat.

“Oh, and you know how to tie a loincloth, right?” Suwako puts another piece of cloth. At least you won’t wear Sanae’s underpants...

“Where did you get that?” Kanako quickly glares at her.

“You don’t want to know... And no, it’s not what you think,” Suwako place a smug smile on her face. It’s a wonder how a child can be so calm after being glared at by a god. Well, time to wash yourself...

-----

You close the door and put the stick aside. You remove your shirt and pants. The pants part was a bit harder, but doable, since you have your stick to separate the pants and your leg. So are your boxers. Good thing that your underwear isn’t briefs or it would take a few minutes to take them off...

Slowly, you sit on the stool. Good thing that the stool was rather high. If it was a bit lower, you wouldn’t be able to sit on it. You slowly scoop up some water and pour it on your head. The fresh cold water somehow makes you calm, and you forget the pain in your body.

Your feet kick the soap, under the stool and your hand proceed to take it; it does not have any smell at all, like other typical soap nowadays. It's like one created by a student in a high school chemistry class. Looking at this place, you can understand. Whatever to make the dirt away from-

Ouch.

Pain creeps through you the moment you apply soap to your face. You forgot that your face was scarred. You must wash it though, or else it would cause an infection on your face...

-----

"I'm home!" The young shrine maiden says as she flies down to her shrine.

"Welcome back, Sanae!" Suwako greets her. "How was today?"

"Not great... I didn't really have much preparation since Nobu was here..."

"Don't push yourself too hard. We have a steady supply from him now." Kanako says.

"Don't say it like that, Kanako... Anyway, where did you put your clothes, Sanae?"

"They’re in the wardrobe, like normal. Why? And where is Nobu?"

"Uh, let me explain..."

-----

Well, that's enough refreshment for now. You won't take a bath too frequently though; it hurts to wash your face. And tying the loincloth and the splint is really a pain in the ass with only one hand to do the task.

You stare at the clothes. A sailor’s uniform. Of all clothes that Sanae has, why this ?! You really want to see with your own eye what Sanae has in her wardrobe... But you can't bring yourself to reject Suwako's goodwill. It’s your fault too, in a way, for not bring any clothes when you ended up here. Heh. You begin to wonder where Sanae used to study...

Well, whatever. Time to wear this uniform...

-----

“Why!? Can't he wait until tomorrow!? I can buy some clothes for him at that time!”

"He's really dirty, haven't you noticed? Besides, frankly, he's rather smelly... He hasn't had any baths since coming here, right? It's bad for his wounds if they’re left unclean," Kanako puts her hand on Sanae's shoulder, calming her down.

"Well, fine, if you put it that way... What will he be wearing anyway?"

"That's the problem..." Suwako starts to talk. "At first was going to give him your jeans and shirt, but I couldn't find them inside your wardrobe."

"Huh? I'm sure I put them in there..."

-----

After a short struggle, you finally put on the uniform, albeit some parts of it are now wet because of the water in the bathroom. After putting the dirty clothes onto the tray with your foot, you walk outside.

No one is here. Good. You use this opportunity to quickly walk back to your room. You should be safe there from any-

*Click!*

Wait. What was that sound?

-----

"You’re right... Somebody must have taken it!"

The three women are standing in front of Sanae’s wardrobe, still unchanged in volume.

"But who, though? No one can enter this mountain easily. Unless..."

"Well, he has said that Yukari has had her eye on him lately..."

*Click!*

"That... sounds a lot like a camera."

They look at each other, before coming to a single conclusion and running outside.

-----

Oh crap.

“Ayaya! She was right! This will be a headline for sure! I can't wait to publish this!”

The girl lowers her camera, and flies away. Goddamn. Of all the potential people that can pop out here, why did it have to be her ?! You can't even do anything at all to stop this.

"Aya, what have I told you about-"

Upon seeing you, Sanae stops midsentence and stares at you. No sounds, no expression, just staring.

[] Laugh
[] Chill

No, not your reaction.
>> No. 21837
[X] Laugh

Because laughter is always the answer
>> No. 21838
[x] Chill

Nice choice guys. NOT
>> No. 21839
Well it looks like anon has put the MC in a difficult situation. Not surprising given anon's track record of not thinking things through.
>> No. 21840
>>21839
I tried warning them but nope, hurr durr trap.
>> No. 21841
>>21840
Hey man, I voted for shirtless, but MANLY MEN crossdress, it seems.

Who's reaction is this, Sanae's? If so, I propose
[√] Rage
Does Miko Tsunami have to choke a bitch?
>> No. 21842
[X] akward silence
>> No. 21843
[x] Chill.

Current objective: avoid being torn apart by angry Sanae. Press [x] to keep calm and not provoke the beast.
>> No. 21844
[x] Laugh

as bitter as his mute self can make it... or perhaps just a really sad laugh that works too.
>> No. 21845
I will initiate roulette shortly on tie votes if there aren't any tiebreakers.

Ninja in Just Cause 2, and isn't a mod. What the hell...
>> No. 21846
[X] Chill
>> No. 21847
Called. Chill wins. Will write... maybe in a week, or more. Hope it'll take less.
>> No. 21848
Done.

http://pastebin.com/RDzXgBH7
>> No. 21851
http://pastebin.com/PHgv22fR

Here you are. Again, you may want to double check it.
>> No. 21852
http://pastebin.com/0mwM4VHA
That guy left several mistakes.
>> No. 21853
File 134614023695.jpg - (191.13KB, 850x1314, swapsanaewithascarredman.jpg) [iqdb]
21853
>>21851
>>21852

Thanks. I think this should be enough.

---

Stare...

Both of you are staring at each other. Sanae stares at your clothing, and you stare her face's reaction.

Finally, after some time, she turns to Suwako.

“Do we really don't have any other clothes?” From her voice, it's clear that she's holding her feelings, trying to control herself. Good that she didn't explode or something.

“You saw the wardrobe yourself, didn't you?” Kanako replies.

“No, I mean, other clothes. Not just mine,” she adds.

“Uhm, my clothes will be too small for him, and Kanako's one will be more unfit compared to your clothes.”

Sanae takes a deep breath, and sits on the nearby terrace, trying to cool herself down. Kanako and Suwako slip away from this place, leaving you alone with her. Guilt creeps into your heart. It's your fault after all. If you didn't take a bath now...

You move closer to her, and bow to her as deep as you can. This is the only way to show her how sorry you ar-

*Tap*

“Stop it, Nobu, seriously. It's not like you did something bad to me.” Sanae says while holding your head with her hand, preventing it from bowing any further. After looking at you for a while, she signals you to sit beside her.

“I... treasured that uniform...” She starts to talk. “It reminds me of my old school, my friends... You know how hard it is to know that you won't see them again?”

You slowly nod to her; you don't even remember if you ever experienced that. Heck, you don't even remember any person from before you ended up here, but you are sure that it's really hard. You have experienced only a similar feeling, when you discovered that you have lost your voice. It's really crushing.

“Now, I can only meet them inside my memories... Of course, I’ve made some new friends here, but it's impossible to forget old friends, each one of them leaving a mark in my life that I can recall. Like...”

Sanae closes her eyes, tracing back her memories like it's happening in front of her.

“When they throw a surprise party for my birthday... Nanami brings me and others to the karaoke place in town, Kaede starts to singing wildly...”

You can see a weak smile forming as small tears flow out from her eyes. She must be really missing the moment.. She then wipes away her tears and starts looking at you again.

“But then, it's better if you wear it contrary to it just sitting inside the wardrobe. After all, the function of clothes is to be worn by someone, right? Although it is...Um...”


She's clearly speechless about your new look. You signed her to not continue; Yes, it is bad for you. You are confident that she'll look nice in this uniform, but the same can't be applied to you. You don't need more comments about how bad it looks on you.

“Don't worry; I'll definitely go to a tailor tomorrow. I'll pick a good outfit for yo-”

*Tuk!*

“Huh?”

Her foot accidentally kicks something. You both recognize what it is - your lost notebook. She bends down and takes it.

“Huh...how could it get there... Here, take it,” she says and gives it to you. You noticed that this is the same spot where you fell from the terrace earlier. Must have dropped it when that happened. Glad that this is back in your hands.

“Sorry I couldn't catch Aya earlier, she's really, really fast when flying away. Fortunately Aya's articles usually get quickly forgotten by people, so don't think about it too much.”

As she talks, Suwako approaches the both of you from one of the rooms.

“Sanae, it’s time for dinner. You must be hungry coming back from the village.”

“Ah, I'm coming,” she stands up and walks, before turning back to you.

“You coming too, Nobu?”

[]Join.
[]Sleep.

-[]Updating my journal.

---

Note:
I see the archives are updated... I shall give this story a proper title on the next thread... If I can think a good one.
>> No. 21854
[X] Join
Food is good.

>>21852 Thanks for the additional help. Like I said before, having multiple people doing it means there's less chance for mistakes to be made.
>> No. 21855
[x]Join.
>> No. 21856
[X]Join.

See Anon, this is why you don't crossdress.
>> No. 21857
>>21856
You forget most anons don't think of possible consequences when voting. They just pick the option they think is funny and rage when something bad happens. Sad ain't it?
also [X] Join
>> No. 21858
>>21857
maybe it's such constant, stupid decision making that drives some writers to quit.
>> No. 21859
[X]Join.
>> No. 21860
http://pastebin.com/DTGZF5A7

Faster than I thought.
>> No. 21861
http://pastebin.com/AVfcMLV6

One update, proofread for your convinience.
>> No. 21862
[x] Books about engineering. Somehow these books seem familiar...

Though option C sounds fun...
>> No. 21863
[x] Books about engineering. Somehow these books seem familiar...

Though option C sounds fun...
>> No. 21864
>>21862
>>21863

Don't vote until the update is actually posted, buddy.
>> No. 21865
File 13464782073.png - (748.35KB, 714x1000, b56c5f1d225af6db0d2800f235ef63a6.png) [iqdb]
21865
>>21861
Thanks.

Anyway, I'll set up some things now:

1) I'll wait proofing for 3 - 7 days. More than that, I'll use minimal proofing and post the update anyway.(Read: Online proofing & some common sense.)

2) I'll wait for further proofing for 1-3 days from the day the first proof. More than that, I'll deem the proof is enough, and post it.

3) If you want to vote before the actual update is coming, do it, but please sage(type 'sage' in Email field) it so it won't bump the story.

Feel free to vote, and remember: Big Brother Yukari is always watching you.

I'll count the above vote as one, for obvious reason.I know that feel when accidentally double post something...

---

You are hungry; all these accidents and stuff has burned the fuel in your stomach. It’s your duty to refill it. You nod and walk, following the folks.

---

The food is there, and everyone is eating on the same table, so it all seems the same... But no one's speaking. Uncomfortable silence fills the air, along with your confusion.

“Suwako, you first,” Kanako elbows her.

“But it was your idea to make him have a bath, right?” She protests.

“But it's you who suggested taking her clothes.”

“Hey, hey, what's wrong with you both?” Sanae interrupts them, slamming her bowl of rice on the table.

“Well, we want to say sorry...”

“...for using your clothes...” They both say, completing each other's sentence. Sanae shakes her head and covers her forehead with her hand.

“If you want to say sorry, say it to Nobu; Aya will put him in her newspaper. Again.”

Suwako proceeds to bow on you, while Kanako seems rather uneasy, but she too bows to you eventually. You quickly wave them off, and write that they can't change what's already happened, and you won't interact with other people for a short while anyway.

“Alright...” Suwako calms down a bit. “But, as a token of our apology, we'll definitely buy you some clothes tomorrow! Right, Sanae?” She added the last words by staring pleadingly at her.

“Yes, yes... I will go as fast as I can tomorrow. I don't want him to suffer in my clothes for long.”

“Bear in mind, though,” Kanako looks to you. “The tailor at the village won't have something like jeans or other modern clothes. Maybe there's one on tengu place, although I'm sure too that they won't sell it to us.”

“I can check Kourindou, last time I saw, it had a few clothes from the outside, but it was some time ago, not to mention that the clothes were a bit dirty...”

You nod to these three options while eating your soup. Anything is fine, as long it's for men.

After some time, you finish your food, along with the others.

“Sanae, after getting him to the room, put the clothes in the washing machine, okay?”

Wait, washing machine?

“Alright!” She replies before you and her get back to your room.

---

You decide to ask her about the washing machine, and where she gets the electricity.

“Eh, we took many things with us when we moved to here, so don't confused when there is some advanced things. The rice that we eat earlier was cooked with a rice cooker. Most of them stay in the vault, though, and that's even when we didn't sell these things to Kappa...”

Wuh? What does a kappa want with that? What you can recall about kappa is they kill people and... And you remind yourself about who was took your photo earlier: tengu paparazzi. Everything's weird here.

“Uhm...May I ask you something...” She begins slowly. “You...You didn't use... m-MY underwear, r-r-right?

What the hell...You quickly shake your head, denying it outright and added with that even if they offered for you to wear her underwear, you'll definitely reject.

“ThatsallthequestiontalklaterokayItslatenow!” she says hurriedly. You’re already in your room before you know it. Sanae helps you down to your bed and quickly goes outside.

“Sorryforthestupidquestion!”

---

“Kanako, Suwako...”

“Ah, Sanae! Have you put his clothes in?”

“Yes, I have...I found this in them...”

She places the charm on the table.

“Huh, that's our shrine charms, right? You gave it to him?”

“No...That's the problem. How he can get this?”

Kanako takes and looks at it.

“It looks pretty old. Maybe even before Sanae become a shrine maiden.”

“Maybe he visited this shrine before. We did get many tourists back then, right?”

“Yes... Think about it: Yukari takes interest with him since he ended up in Gensokyo. And it's also a bit weird that Momiji didn't leave him to die, and instead brings him here.”

“There's one way to find out... I want to ask about my missing clothes anyway.”

---

“...All just as planned. It's certainly a rather... entertaining event, to see how you look in her clothes.”

You wake up. Man... That woman again...

“Sorry about the reporter, but that was the only way to be sure that I can get some nice photos of you~”

Wait, she's the one who sent her!? Damn...She’s really playing with you... If only you didn't break your leg and arm, you'd definitely-

“Don't give me that look,” she covers her mouth with a fan. “I'll make sure that you won't get into the headline. Reimu'll take the bullet instead~” she giggles.

She ducks into the hole, and comes out a short while later with a box, neatly warped.

“Come on, open it. Consider it as a gift.”

You open the box and find...

[] Books about engineering. Somehow these books seem familiar...

[] Clothes. They’re normal ones, too. This is definitely good...

[] Some lewd stuff- WHAT THE HELL!?
>> No. 21866
[X] Books about engineering. Somehow these books seem familiar...
Porn is a still-born joke.
>> No. 21867
[X] Books about engineering. Somehow these books seem familiar...
Porn is a still-born joke. Even if such jest is expected from Yukari's brain capacity.
>> No. 21868
>>21866
>>21867
double post by me, hand slipped.
>> No. 21869
[x] Books about engineering. Somehow these books seem familiar...
Be a second Nitori
>> No. 21870
[X] Books about engineering. Somehow these books seem familiar...

[X] Some lewd stuff- WHAT THE HELL!?

Nobu read Playboy when he should have been studying.
>> No. 21871
[x] Clothes. They’re normal ones, too. This is definitely good...

While the lewd stuff tempts me, clothes would help mend bridges and save the others some trouble.
>> No. 21872
File 134659691986.jpg - (138.72KB, 1366x768, Untitled.jpg) [iqdb]
21872
Closed. Engineering books win.

Anyway, it seems my ISP was starting a war with me today.
>> No. 21873
I hope this actually uncovers his character and not a few more teasing hints as it'd a poor trade for something as helpful as normal clothes.
>> No. 21874
http://pastebin.com/1R4tzdk6

There you go.
>> No. 21877
http://pastebin.com/rzwLDSKT
I'm doing this before bed time, and have ran out of time. I'll continue tomorrow.
>> No. 21882
http://pastebin.com/UAVQ7tnX
and the second part
>> No. 21883
File 134716913873.jpg - (461.35KB, 718x1133, 5d3a8e7ebbadd558a3e7c9901cd3c22e.jpg) [iqdb]
21883
>>21877
>>21882

Thanks.

---

You found a couple of books. You put on your glasses; it's about engineering. Somehow, you feel these books are really close to you...

“Open it, can't judge book only by it's cover.” Yukari lowers her fan, smiling. You do as told. It feels like you read this book before, but you can't understand the contains of it.

“Remembering something good?”

You shake your head. It feels familiar, but it does not recall anything from your head.

“Of course you don't. Silly me, memories don't work like magic,” she lets out a small giggle, then ducks back to the hole again and-

*Bam!*

The door to your room opens, revealing the green-haired shrine maiden.

“My, my. I expected you to come here way bef-”

“My clothes, where are they?” Sanae cuts her speech.

“It is rude to cut someone's speech Sanae. Granted, taking someone's clothing without permission is rude too, so we are even now~” She covers her mouth with fan again. “Check your wardrobe again, it's all in there. Except the one he's wearing right now,” she giggles behind the fan.

“Why are you doing all of this? He is... related to us, isn't he? I found the charm inside his clothes, and-”

“Wrong~ it's not 'us'. 'Me' is the word you looking for.”

“Huh? What do you-” Yukari stops Sanae's lips with her fan.

“A~a~a~ Enough clues. I'll tell more when the time will come. For now...” she ducks back into her hole, and gives you a radio. “Do this lady a favor, will you? Goodbye~”

She vanishes into the hole, before it closes. Sanae takes a deep breath, and sits beside you.

“Troublesome, isn't she? She's taking most of my garments to make sure that you wear the... inappropriate ones...” She takes one of your given books. “She gave all of these to you?”

You nod. How else some books can get in here? She opens the book and reads it.

“Hmm...These seem like Nitori's stuff... Kanako said that you met with her earlier, right? Maybe you should ask her about these books, Yukari must have a reason for giving these.”

You dig your memory; ah yes. She must be referring to the rucksack girl that you've met earlier. You try to turn on the radio while Sanae's talking. No effect. It seems this is broken

“Let me see.” Sanae takes the radio. She has the same result when trying to turn it on. “Broken. Hm... Maybe Nitori can fix it...”

You scribe to her how you can communicate with her, since she's really shy.

“That's Nitori for you. She's really shy when meeting new people, but when it's about stuff like this, she gets really excited. I'll help you ease the conversation with her, but not tomorrow. I'll have to buy you some outfits, right?”

She stops to yawn. How late in the night is it now?

“Ah sorry, I'm too sleepy now... See you tomorrow Nobu...” She says her farewell and closes the door. You need some sleep too for tomorrow...

---

“Wouldn't your books be too hard for your son?”

“He's asking for it He doesn't believe that it's impossible to build a robot with the tools in this shop! At least it's good for his imagination. Oh, here's the transistor.”

“Watch out, in the future he might prove you wrong.”

“Oh, I'd love to be proved wrong. I'd really love to be.”

---

“Nobu...Wake up...It's already morning...”

Uhhh...You are really drowsy, but force yourself to get up. You are met with Sanae's tired face. It seems she is also still sleepy.

“Hoam...This is the result of waiting outside your room's door for the all night...” She puts down the tray and readies to give you food as u-

*Plush!*

The porridge on the spoon is dropped on your knee, and it'sHOT.

“Ah! Sorry!” Sanae quickly wipes it using the napkin on the tray. Thanks to this, you are fully awake now.

---

You and Sanae step out of the room as soon you finish your breakfast.

“Morning Nobu! You seem really fired up today!” Suwako greets you. After taking a hot porridge to the knee, who isn't fired up? “Anyway, will you go with Sanae today? You can choose clothes that you like.”

“Uh... But his arm and leg are broken...”

“That's why I created... this!” She reveals some...Piece of clothes? “Ta dah!I spent all night to sew this.”

“What's this?” Sanae takes it.

“It's a carriage. I sewn it so you can carry him on the back while flying to stores, without having him hold tight to you.”

“I don't know...” Sanae looks at you. “Do you want to go with me?”

[]Go with Sanae.

-[]Change your clothes first.
-[]Don't change it.

[]Stay.

---

Preparing a title for for this story in the next thread.
>> No. 21884
[x]Go with Sanae.

[x]Change your clothes first.
>> No. 21885
[x]Go with Sanae.
[x]Change your clothes first.
>> No. 21886
[X]Stay.

Nitori Nitori Nitori
>> No. 21887
[x]Go with Sanae.
-[x]Change your clothes first.

Should have chosen clothes, but I doubt this will be the last time the best option gets ignored.
>> No. 21889
http://pastebin.com/AUN3yrJB

Next update posted on the new thread. Hopefully, with a title.
>> No. 21893
http://pastebin.com/fVWnkQnF
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