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You are Satori Komeiji.

You have just awoken, and are currently snuggled down inside your bed-covers, with no part of your body extending outside of your cocoon of warmth, as is fitting for a sleepy satori. You feel comfortable, safe, and sated.

It is dark in the bed.

You slowly realise that your memories of the previous night are very clouded; the only thing you remember is that yesterday was your birthday.



The input parser for A Text Adventure understands both complex and basic commands. A basic command consists of one action, usually a verb or verb plus object; a complex command is a string of actions. Entire plans that encompass a series of reactions to possible outcomes of previous actions are beyond the computing power of the input parser, and will be ignored.

Examples of basic commands:

>Look at [object]
>Climb [object]
>Exit room
>Go to corridor
>Pick up cat
>Place Orin on head
>Bend over
>Fuck Yuugi
>Ignore bridge troll
>Insert tampon
>Launch rocket

Examples of complex commands:

>Run around the room until you get really tired and then complain loudly.
>Head down to the bridge and give Parsee this bag of lemons.
>Take off these sodden panties and replace them with a clean pair.
>Continue flicking Reimu's forehead until she wakes up.

Each response from the parser will be no more than several lines long; if you get stuck, you can always get more detail by experimenting with the examine command and talking to other characters. Try solving problems using items in your inventory, or powers from your character menu.

The parser will always accept the first input given.


> Find pets

You relinquish your hold on your bedcovers and move your hands around inside the cocoon of softness, searching for any sign of your animal companions.

While very satisfying to knead all this nice fluffy fabric, it appears that neither Orin nor Okuu are in here. You are quite alone right now.

As you wake up more, you begin to feel distinctly heavy.

> Examine self

You attempt to examine yourself, but are swiftly thwarted by the lack of light inside your bedcover-cocoon.

Instead, you run your hands down your front, and discover that your belly - which should be a soft, flat expanse of skin - has transformed into a huge, heavy mound. You are very, very pregnant.

You are pretty damn certain you were not pregnant yesterday morning.

You also discover you are wearng pajamas, with the bottoms tucked up against the underside of your huge stomach, and the top left open to accomodate your bloated tummy.

[x] Wear [sheet]

Suffused with the satisfying biological glow that can only come from being so heavily pregnant, you decide that the first and most logical course of action is to wear part of your bed.

Your struggles to disentangle part of your cocoon and simultaneously wrap it around yourself serve only to exhaust you, and leave you panting for fresh air.

Eventually, success! You wrap a sheet roughly around your shoulders, independent from the rest of the bed.

You are flushed with victory. And also hormones.

> Explore halls

Slowly and with much wobbling, you lever yourself up from your bed and into a standing position, wrapping both arms around your heavy stomach for support.

The cold of the floor penetrates the thick, pastel-pink socks on your feet.

Your room is in a terrible mess after last night, but you ignore it all and head straight for the door at fully early-morning shuffle speed, intent on seeing where everyone is.

The doorhandle turns, but the door will not budge. It seems that something heavy is wedged against the other side.

>Shoot down [door]
> Blast door
>Examine door

You unload a veritable barrage of danmaku at the door; many of it not your own!

All the bullets pass through harmlessly.

You curse the spellcard system in a particularly un-ladylike manner.

>Examine inventory and character menu
>Check crack at the bottom of the door


0/10 slots filled.

- Empty
- Empty
- Empty
- Empty
- Empty
- Empty
- Empty
- Empty
- Empty
- Empty

Equipped weapon: soft, slender hands.

Equipped clothing: pink pajamas and bedsheet combo.

Character Menu:

- Name: Satori Komeiji

- Current Statuses: Heavily pregnant (slow & clumsy), Healthy, Full Bladder (uncomfortable), Hungry.

- Usable powers: Mind-Reading

> Whistle for help

You put two fingers in your mouth - discovering in the process that your hands taste of sake - and let out a loud, piercing whistle.

A meow answers you, from under your bed!

[x] Investigate [meow]
>check Bed
You shuffle-waddle back over to your bed, trying to ignore the empty sake bottles and other assorted mess on the floor.

Once there, you discover how truly difficult it is to bend over and look under the bed while carrying this bloated belly around.

You are saved the indignity of getting down on all fours; a second meow greets you as a huge, black-and-red cat emerges from under the bed and wraps herself around your ankles.

You bid Orin good morning.

She is extremely warm and fuzzy.

>Ask Orin why you're pregnant
>use Orin on door

You ask Orin why you're pregnant.

She looks up at you with the kind of smug smirk that only a cat can make, and then resumes purring and rubbing herself on your ankles.

[x] Ask Orin to help you with the door.
> Take cat

You explain to Orin that something is blocking the door, and you cannot get out.

Your beloved pet cat disengages purr-and-rub mode, trotting off toward your bedroom door.

She speeds up.

And up.

A whirling mass of cat and girl and green dress hurls itself against your bedroom door, cracking it neatly in two across the middle, the top half falling down on whatever was blocking the bottom. Orin hurtles through, and then moments later hops nimbly onto the broken half of door, back in full cat-form.

She meows at you, eager for praise and treats.

> Praise and treat cat
>Praise and take [Orin]

You pet Orin with great enthusiasm! She is nice and warm on your hands, like a furry hot water bottle. She purrs loudly and squints her eyes shut.

Sadly you don't have any cat treats to hand; you promise Orin that you will find some soon.

Orin knows you will. Because all the cat treats are hers. Forever.

[x] Investigate [whatever was blocking the door]

The object blocking the bottom half of the door appears to be an unconscious Oni, smelling heavily of alcohol, spices, and all the other things Oni always smell of.

A quick check tells you three things: the Oni is not Yuugi, she was probably unconscious before Orin slammed into the door, and she is probably not going to be waking up any time soon.

>Equip {Oni]
>read your own mind

You try to put the Oni into your inventory, but you cannot even shift her, let alone pick her up. She is at least twice your height and probably three times your weight.

Orin begins to wash herself.

>Instruct Orin to Wash [Oni]

You tell Orin to wash the Oni. Perhaps to wake her up, or perhaps out of some misguided sense of stewardship towards your de-facto Undergrounder subjects.

Orin manages to frown at you without leaving cat-form. She does not obey your instruction.

>Examine mind of [Oni]

You use your Mind-Reading powers to carefully probe the Oni's mind.

As the Oni is unconscious and also still drunk, this turns out to be a uniquely disorienting experience; she appears to be having a drunken dream about being drunk with lots of other drunk Oni.

You feel very unsteady on your feet.

At least the Oni is very happy.

>Wear Orin as a hat

The waves of second-hand inebriation backwash make you feel deeply silly, so much that you have to hold back a giggle.

You feel compelled to pick Orin up and attempt to place her on you own head.

To her great credit, Orin does not resist, and in fact makes herself as comfortably hat-like as possible. But you are too mentally drunk to situate her properly, and end up simply holding her in place on your head instead.

> Explore halls
>act on {Preganancy-induced Hormones] and [Mental Inebriation] with [Oni]
[x] Head to [kitchen] (You do have a kitchen, right?)

The drunken feeling fades quickly, and you take a moment to squeeze your eyes shut and breathe deeply, moving Orin from your head to simply cradle her against your chest. She fits comfortably on the shelf of your bloated tummy.

You pick your way over the broken door and the unconscious Oni and out into the halls and corridors of Chireiden.

You are now on the main upstairs balcony, which stretches off to the left and right, with your bedroom door behind you. Many stairways lead down, and a warm glow radiates up from far below, lighting the giant stairwell like sunlight in reverse.

There are three further unconscious Oni here, and a large number of empty sake bottles. The balcony is a complete mess.

>find source of glow
> Take Koishi

You totter over to the edge of the balcony - a good fifty meters walk, Chireiden is large - and peer over the stone bannister.

The stained-glass and crystal floors of the Palace allow the glow of the magma far beneath to light the house.

You notice more slumped, unconscious Oni figures littering the lower balconies, along with several humans, the remains of a spin-the-bottle game, and various other party-aftermath debris.

No doubt the deeper corridors of your house are worse.



Posting from work, need to go do work related things and then go home. Text Adventure will resume in 2~ hours time
>Approach and investigate remains of spin-the-bottle game

You wobble down one of the many stairways, toward the fallout from the spin-the-bottle game.

Despite your own condition - and the obvious causes - you can't help but blush faintly when you get a better look. The bottle in question is a huge sake jar, the kind that only Oni can lift. You could easily fit inside it yourself. The players are strewn around, unconscious or sleeping, in various states of post-coital undress.

At least it was a truly multi-species orgy. There are lots of Oni, plenty of humans, a large variety of other undergrounder species you don't often see - look, there's even a dhole! - and a handful of surface youkai. One lucky human seems to have been shared by at least four Oni girls, and passed out on them in a heap. A large, flexible-looking catgirl is curled up around a much smaller thing - it's female, but that's about all you can identify - in one corner. There's even some fairies!

You sense Koishi's handiwork here, though your sister is not among the sleeping.

>Search sake jar

Nice accuracy on the 2 hours, there.

You draw closer to the sake jar, quietly thankful that the glass is clear and you don't have to attempt bending down to see inside.

There is nothing left inside the jar except dry residue and echoes.

>search for awakened "players"

It doesn't take you long to cast around the large group of semi-naked players, looking for anybody awake, or on the verge of waking.

That's odd; they're all still asleep.

Every single one of them.

You listen for a moment: Chireiden is very, very quiet.

You're suddenly very glad that Orin is cuddled up against your chest.

>Examine minds for clues

Every mind close enough for reading is extremely drunk and also asleep. The echoes of last night's activities - scrambled through the haze of alcohol - first make you blush, then make your knees weak, and end with you needing to sit down on the floor in a giggling, vaguely aroused heap.

Orin hops out of your arms and pads across the floor to nose at one of the unconscious oni. You let her go, your moment of chills forgotten in the feedback of drunken sex filling your mind.

>Ask Orin if she knows what happened here

You try asking Orin if she knows why all the oni and humans and youkai are still sleeping.

She does her best cat-shrug, but then quickly returns to your side and nudges you with her head, urging you to get up again.

>Go deeper underground to search for others



- shake your head to clear more drunken impressions from last night. Down is very general, Underground.


Nobody's voting, so I'm going to pause for now. Will resume running ... whenever, really!
>Look for Okuu
When are you going to finish that Renko story in /border/?
> check koishi's room
> Read Orin's mind after asking questions from now on.

This is a thing Satori can do. It is very useful for extracting information from those unwilling to speak.
[x] Look for Okuu

Whenever he damn well pleases.
>Give birth

I wonder if it's a boy or a girl.
Commit sudoku.

Our writers are running away from the writingfield! Shamefur Dispray!

Damnit HY...
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