You have just awoken, and are currently snuggled down inside your bed-covers, with no part of your body extending outside of your cocoon of warmth, as is fitting for a sleepy satori. You feel comfortable, safe, and sated.
It is dark in the bed.
You slowly realise that your memories of the previous night are very clouded; the only thing you remember is that yesterday was your birthday.
The input parser for A Text Adventure understands both complex and basic commands. A basic command consists of one action, usually a verb or verb plus object; a complex command is a string of actions. Entire plans that encompass a series of reactions to possible outcomes of previous actions are beyond the computing power of the input parser, and will be ignored.
Examples of basic commands:
>Examine >Look at [object] >Climb [object] >Exit room >Go to corridor >Pick up cat >Place Orin on head >Bend over >Fuck Yuugi >Ignore bridge troll >Insert tampon >Launch rocket
Examples of complex commands:
>Run around the room until you get really tired and then complain loudly. >Head down to the bridge and give Parsee this bag of lemons. >Take off these sodden panties and replace them with a clean pair. >Continue flicking Reimu's forehead until she wakes up.
Each response from the parser will be no more than several lines long; if you get stuck, you can always get more detail by experimenting with the examine command and talking to other characters. Try solving problems using items in your inventory, or powers from your character menu.
The parser will always accept the first input given.
You explain to Orin that something is blocking the door, and you cannot get out.
Your beloved pet cat disengages purr-and-rub mode, trotting off toward your bedroom door.
She speeds up.
A whirling mass of cat and girl and green dress hurls itself against your bedroom door, cracking it neatly in two across the middle, the top half falling down on whatever was blocking the bottom. Orin hurtles through, and then moments later hops nimbly onto the broken half of door, back in full cat-form.
The waves of second-hand inebriation backwash make you feel deeply silly, so much that you have to hold back a giggle.
You feel compelled to pick Orin up and attempt to place her on you own head.
To her great credit, Orin does not resist, and in fact makes herself as comfortably hat-like as possible. But you are too mentally drunk to situate her properly, and end up simply holding her in place on your head instead.
The drunken feeling fades quickly, and you take a moment to squeeze your eyes shut and breathe deeply, moving Orin from your head to simply cradle her against your chest. She fits comfortably on the shelf of your bloated tummy.
You pick your way over the broken door and the unconscious Oni and out into the halls and corridors of Chireiden.
You are now on the main upstairs balcony, which stretches off to the left and right, with your bedroom door behind you. Many stairways lead down, and a warm glow radiates up from far below, lighting the giant stairwell like sunlight in reverse.
There are three further unconscious Oni here, and a large number of empty sake bottles. The balcony is a complete mess.
You wobble down one of the many stairways, toward the fallout from the spin-the-bottle game.
Despite your own condition - and the obvious causes - you can't help but blush faintly when you get a better look. The bottle in question is a huge sake jar, the kind that only Oni can lift. You could easily fit inside it yourself. The players are strewn around, unconscious or sleeping, in various states of post-coital undress.
At least it was a truly multi-species orgy. There are lots of Oni, plenty of humans, a large variety of other undergrounder species you don't often see - look, there's even a dhole! - and a handful of surface youkai. One lucky human seems to have been shared by at least four Oni girls, and passed out on them in a heap. A large, flexible-looking catgirl is curled up around a much smaller thing - it's female, but that's about all you can identify - in one corner. There's even some fairies!
You sense Koishi's handiwork here, though your sister is not among the sleeping.
Every mind close enough for reading is extremely drunk and also asleep. The echoes of last night's activities - scrambled through the haze of alcohol - first make you blush, then make your knees weak, and end with you needing to sit down on the floor in a giggling, vaguely aroused heap.
Orin hops out of your arms and pads across the floor to nose at one of the unconscious oni. You let her go, your moment of chills forgotten in the feedback of drunken sex filling your mind.