For the record, that is not how I intended my name to show up, but it'll do. Guess the site doesn't like names with apostrophes in them.

[X]🍆
[X]Dragon’s Blood

I not sure what weird ass drugs I'm taking, but sure, here my vote.

[X]Caramel
[X]Anonymous
assuming green anonymous

[x]Artificial banana
[x]Chartreuse
Ok

[x]Smoke
[x]Puce

[x]Smoke

[x]Anonymous

I'd kill for some ribs now.

Interesting. I suppose I should have expected this, given the amount of options. I think the wisest thing given the situation is to average the answers.

The average of your choices for flavor is midway between caramel and salmon. For now, we'll settle on caramel, as it's the more natural of the two, but I'll keep this in mind.

The color too, has turned out to be an in-between. Something of a sandy color. We'll say chocolate for now.

Now then. That first two questions were more of a superficial appearance choice. Now, we move on to some of the more drastic questions.

For the sake of not leaving you high-and-dry, I'll leave some hints in difficult-to-read text. Highlight or switch stylesheet settings to show them if you find yourself in need.

When you were little, you found something on the ground and brought it home with you. What was it?
[]A pretty flower. Butterflies always seemed to swarm to the garden.
[]A little wooden plaque. Charred, but you could still tell there were words on it.
[]A storybook. The stories were scary, but you still kept going back to it.
[]A blunt knife. Once deadly, but worn from years of use.
[]A big feather. It almost seemed to glow in the sunlight.
[]A shiny rock. Like a treasure out of a fairy tale.

[X]Ketchup
[X]Grandma's Refrigerator

yum yum

[X]A big feather.

Guess I was a little too late. Ignore that last vote.

[X]A blunt knife.

Perfect, limited violence!

[x] A blunt knife
This is the path of an edgelord.

>>201496
Maybe if you had found it back when it was sharp...

[X]A blunt knife

[x]A storybook.

Hmm. Touhoumon Mystery Dungeon?

[x]A little wooden plaque

[x]A big feather

BIRB

[x]A storybook. The stories were scary, but you still kept going back to it.

[X]A big feather. It almost seemed to glow in the sunlight.

BIRB!

I think that we have all the votes we'll get. So, then, I've flipped a coin for the tiebreaker.
>Coin flip: tails!

>[X]A big feather.
How very intriguing that you would choose that. I would have thought that one of the more esoteric options would have caught your eye. Intriguing, but not unwelcome. I wonder what song you will sing.

Next. Which do you consider to be the greatest good?
[]Fighting one who would seek to harm another.
[]Making grand gestures.
[]Helping another find redemption.
[]Teaching and guiding.
[]Protecting another from harm.
[]Leading others.
[]Helping another find love.
[]Enacting justice.
[]Inspiring another to do good deeds.

And what is your favored method of transportation?
[]Walking.
[]Cars.
[]Planes.
[]Subways.
[]Boats.

Oh, right, we should get this out of the way too. How old are you?
[]Underage b&. No. Absolutely not.
[]A bland (guaranteed to be 18 years old) high school student whose name none of your classmates ever remember.
[]A twenty-something shut-in loser who shitposts and watches cartoons on the internet all day instead of doing something productive.
[]A middle-aged man past his prime with a mindless dead-end job who’s never been in a relationship (if you’ve ever even gotten that far) that lasted more than a week.

[X] Protecting another from harm.

I want to become a hero of justice

[X] Walking

Not right now, but you know what I mean.


[X]A middle-aged man past his prime with a mindless dead-end job who’s never been in a relationship (if you’ve ever even gotten that far) that lasted more than a week.

Hey! It lasted two years!

[X]Fighting one who would seek to harm another.

Too many heroes of justice. I like this twist.

[X]Boats.

boats

[X]A middle-aged man past his prime with a mindless dead-end job who’s never been in a relationship (if you’ve ever even gotten that far) that lasted more than a week.

You youngsters get off my spotlight!

[x] Leading others.
[x] Walking.
[x] A twenty-something shut-in loser who shitposts and watches cartoons on the internet all day instead of doing something productive.

hail victory

[x]Helping another find redemption.
[x]Walking.
[x]A twenty-something shut-in loser who shitposts and watches cartoons on the internet all day instead of doing something productive.

[x]Inspiring another to do good deeds.
[x]Boats.
I wish (real) trains were an option. I like trains.
[x]A middle-aged man past his prime with a mindless dead-end job who’s never been in a relationship (if you’ve ever even gotten that far) that lasted more than a week.

beer gut galore

[X]Making grand gestures.

[X]Planes.


[X]A twenty-something shut-in loser who shitposts and watches cartoons on the internet all day instead of doing something productive.

Feather won, and hero quests and redemption arcs are too boring, full Night Sparrow route time.

[x]Helping another find love.
[x]Walking.
[x]A twenty-something shut-in loser who shitposts and watches cartoons on the internet all day instead of doing something productive.

>>201512
My~. Do you really think I'd force something like that on you without letting you make an informed decision?

>[X]Walking.
>[X]A twenty-something shut-in loser who shitposts and watches cartoons on the internet all day instead of doing something productive.

There’s nothing near to a consensus on that last choice, so I’d like to wait a bit longer to see if we can get a few more votes for it. It’s the first choice in >>201506, just as a reminder. In the meantime, though, let me toss a couple more questions at you.

So, what’s a NEET like you doing in Japan?
[]It’s where I was born and raised.
[]I live there. How else can I stay on top of the hottest animes?
[]I’m an exchange student.
[]It’s a vacation.
[]Your guess is as good as mine, buddy.

And what is your philosophy towards video game difficulties?
[]I’m a casual who doesn’t give a shit about how skilled I have to be to finish a game so I do the easiest mode possible and leave a walkthrough open in case I still get stuck.
[]I play on easy because I’m bad at games, but I still enjoy the accomplishment of finishing a game without outside help.
[]I play on normal, since that’s the intended balance for the game and I don’t see the point of artificially making it harder.
[]I’ve played a lot of games, so I pick hard so there’s still some challenge to it.
[]I record myself playing on Anon Must Die mode while I have one hand taped to my back, I wear sunglasses, and I do dumb self-imposed restrictions. It’s the only way I can get an erection.

[x]It’s a vacation.
[x]I’ve played a lot of games, so I pick hard so there’s still some challenge to it.

[X]It’s a vacation.

[X]I’ve played a lot of games, so I pick hard so there’s still some challenge to it.

[x] It’s a vacation.
[x] I've just finished a TAS playing on Legendary Anon Knight mode. That backlog will be destroyed in style, one step at a time.

>>201519
ERR: Invalid response "[x] I've just finished a TAS playing on Legendary Anon Knight mode. That backlog will be destroyed in style, one step at a time.". Please chose one of the provided answers.

[x]I live there. How else can I stay on top of the hottest animes?
[x]I record myself playing on Anon Must Die mode while I have one hand taped to my back, I wear sunglasses, and I do dumb self-imposed restrictions. It’s the only way I can get an erection.

Embrace the cuhrayzee-ness.

[x]I live there. How else can I stay on top of the hottest animes?
[x]I record myself playing on Anon Must Die mode while I have one hand taped to my back, I wear sunglasses, and I do dumb self-imposed restrictions. It’s the only way I can get an erection.

>>201520
ZERO FUN ALLOWED. Replace vote with this then -

[x]I live there. How else can I stay on top of the hottest animes?
[x]I record myself playing on Anon Must Die mode while I have one hand taped to my back, I wear sunglasses, and I do dumb self-imposed restrictions. It’s the only way I can get an erection.

>>201523
Write-ins are usually fine, but not when you're choosing your forgiveness level. I need to be able to quantify your answers.

[X]It’s a vacation.

[X]I’ve played a lot of games, so I pick hard so there’s still some challenge to it.

[X]Teaching and guiding.

Disclaimer: this is my opinion and morality is a debated and subjective Topic.

So here are my opinions on the options.
protect good
Admirable and no one could fault you for it, except in failure to determine good
Enact Juctice
Not sure what this means, could mean taking things on a case by case basis and determining what is just, like a judge. Or being a self-righteous Paladin that kills 'em as he sees them.
Redeem Evil
This I like because of the idea that people can be redeemed and it would increase the amount of good while decreasing the amount of bad theoretically without bloodshed
Fight Evil
Bloodshed is implicit, and while it is still for good, it is not necessarily the "greatest good".
I reason that every choice that has to do with combating evil, while Good is simply dealing with evil rather than making better/"more good" people
Leading
While Admirable in the unifying Humanity kind of way, It is certainly not the "Greatest Good"
Making Grand Gestures
I suppose this could be seen as Good, Though I tend to see this as the Ego or pride choice as you make Grand Gestures as a matter of course when following your chosen Morality rather than the Gesture itself being Good. For Example;
Inspiring good
This is to get people to be better, which is great as it can be like a chain reaction, and help a lot of people, However I prefer the more direct.
Teaching and Guiding
As, in my personal bias, places with with better education have reduced crime rates and also it helps others figure out what is good (or maybe it just allows me force my opinion of good down someone's throat more directly)
Helping others find Love
While Good and probably one of the best things you can do for someone, It is not what I consider the "Greatest Good".

A lot of these can and will overlap, which is good because morality is complicated and I would need to take a Philosophy class + ethics Class + 100 years of life or more to have a firm enough set of principles to follow to speak definitely on what is the Greatest Good.

[x]It’s a vacation.
[x]I’ve played a lot of games, so I pick hard so there’s still some challenge to it.

For anyone still unsure about the question about greatest goods who hasn't voted yet: This is more-or-less what, in an RPG or something, would be a class choice.

>[X]It’s a vacation.
>[X]I’ve played a lot of games, so I pick hard so there’s still some challenge to it.
Low on the handholding, then? Very well. Let’s see how you hold up.

Also. I’ve decided on a totally scientific and professional resolution for this. It involved math, averages, and taking your elaborations of your opinions into account. Honestly, in retrospect, I should have split this one into two questions to narrow things down.
>[X]Fighting one who would seek to harm another.

Now, finally. What is your name?
(Note: I have the right to veto names that don’t fit with your previous choices or are dumb as fuck.)
[]Write-in.

[x] Wilhelm the Third, Great Duke of the House Fohenfall, King of Kings

Just Wilhelm if the entire name doesn't fit in the text box. Let's be chuuni as fuck.

[x] Wilhelm the Third, Great Duke of the House Fohenfall, King of Kings

I know I'm gonna regret this, but why not.

[x] Not Sure

[x] Wilhelm the Third, Great Duke of the House Fohenfall, King of Kings

We're going to get destroyed if we ever need to prove the full title but sure.

>[x] Wilhelm the Third, Great Duke of the House Fohenfall, King of Kings
I think I can work with this.

Name: Wil
Species: Human
Race: Filthy gaijin
Sex: Male
Hair color: Brown
Eye color: Hazel
Height: Average
Difficulty: Hard
Skills: No
Weapons: None
Inventory:
Phrasebook
Wallet
A penny
Used ticket stub
An inexplicable feeling of uneasiness

Now
Let
Us
Begin

>Skills: No
>Weapons: None

FUCK

>>201535
At least, that’s what it seems like.

In an instant, the city lights vanish. For the first time since you got to this country, it’s totally silent. Like if the whole city and everyone in it disappeared. Without the ambient lighting, you suddenly can’t see a foot in front of you. It’s like you’re the only person left in the world. But…

But you don’t feel alone. There’s something like oil dripping down your spine, a feeling of being watched. Whether it’s some kind of sixth sense or an ancient primal instinct, you know for a fact that there is something else here. You’re frozen in terror, hoping that whatever is out there, it can’t see in the dark any better than you can. That’s when you realize something.

It’s getting darker. As if all light is being drained out of the sky, the forest is gradually getting darker and darker. You regain control of your legs, and without any conscious thought, you break out into a mad dash. You can tell that it’s following you, chasing you easily, without footsteps, without breath. Like a force of nature that’s turned its gaze on you and you alone. Your heart is a drumbeat, thump, thump, thump, your legs have gone numb. Your back itches like crazy. Your hair keeps getting in your face.

By now the darkness has reached its peak, and your eyes are now useless. It’s a miracle you don’t end up running into a tree. The only conscious thought in your head is the need to escape, to get away. Something slimy slides past you, again and again, raking at your body with icy claws. You aren’t sure, but you think that at least your pockets have been totally shredded. Again, and again, and again, the slimy something keeps tripping you up, clawing at you, and the thing that’s chasing you is getting closer, and closer.

Maybe you tripped on a piece of your shredded clothes. Maybe your shoelaces came undone. Maybe whatever’s been trying to trip you up finally sweeps you off your feet. Either way, the inevitable happens: you trip and fall. You brace yourself for hitting the ground, or maybe for the thing behind you to catch up, but neither of those happen.

Instead, you fall into some kind of liquid. It’s oily and slimy, just like the clawed something. You hold your breath, trying to swim up, but it seems intent on keeping you from breaking the surface. Instead it pushes you downwards. You’re forced to let go of your breath as the liquid squeezes you, forcing the content of your lungs out. Your senses dull, your struggles slow, and you just sink further and further and further, deeper and deeper, down down

d

---

o
w
n



d

o


w




n

>>201536

You wake up, flailing and gasping and sputtering, until you realize that you’re no longer drowning. You slowly breathe in and out, stilling your racing heart, and open your eyes. Blinking, you examine the area around you.

Once more, you’re in a forest. This time, however, it’s far thicker, the dense canopy totally blocking out the sky. It would probably be extremely dark, were it not for the rays of morning sun streaming in from a break in the trees to your right. The sound of birds fills the air.

As for you, you’re laying on the ground, face up. Groaning, you try to stand up, but the moment you try to walk, you fall, tripping over your own legs like a baby horse on ice. You try to catch yourself with three arms, but it’s futile, and you end up falling flat on your face. Ugh. Thankfully, the ground is soft enough that it’s not painful, just humiliating.

Anyway, you-

wait back the fuck up

Something is definitely not right here. You toss away the embarrassment of fucking up using your own legs and immediately make inspecting yourself your top priority.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH?!”

Since we're starting proper, I've decided to move this to a thread with an actual name.
>>201538