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179341 No. 179341
FOREWORD: The rest of the story (it is in progress) can be viewed at :https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8494423/1/Black-Ice


It was a relatively peaceful night in Gensokyo. Of course, the word peaceful is used here in the most generous of terms. Gensokyo is quite the dangerous land. But on a night like this, one might mistake it for just another relaxing island of the coast of Japan. Crickets chirped their tunes and leaves rustled in the cool breeze. But despite this peace, it would be a sleepless night at the Hakurei shrine.

Reimu Hakurei let out a scream as she jolted awake.

Another nightmare…

The nightmare marked the 6th this week. One nightmare, every night had plagued her for the past six days. She didn't remember them; in fact all she could recall from the horrid dream was a sense of horrible nausea and cold. Reimu rose to her feet uneasily. She still felt nauseous, and stumbled to the back of the shrine. After a few minutes of dry heaving, she had exhausted herself. Maybe it would be a good idea to head to Eintei in the morning. She crawled back into bed

Reimu stared at the stars to stay awake. She didn't want to face her dreams again, but not even the maiden of the border could escape sleep. For a brief moment, one of the stars streaked across the darkness above her then disappeared beyond the horizon. She decided to pay no attention to it. Making wishes upon stars was a child's game she had given up long ago. Slowly and surely, she fell into slumber's cold embrace.

It was 6:00 in the morning. Reimu had woken up, not due to insomnia or inability to sleep, but because of the cold. It was freezing. The warm summer air had dropped to that one would expect only to see in the later months of winter. With a tired groan, he shrine maiden turned in her kotatsu, and stared at the wall. She pulled the bedding tighter.
Her discomfort was only intensified when a certain ordinary magician nearly broke the sliding door barging in.

"Reimu, you gotta come see this!"

The Hakurei maiden turned over in her bed, flopping onto her stomach.

"…Don't wanna."

"It might be an incident!"

Why is she so damned persistent?!

"It's too damn cold!" exclaimed Reimu

Marisa, tired of Reimu's complaining, literally dragged the groggy priestess out of the kotatsu and outside.

"What the hell Marisa!? What did I tell you abou…"

Reimu's words trailed away as she looked out from her porch. Past the torii and the forest beyond it, a pillar of light stretched into the sky, illuminating the horizon.

Reimu sighed, "…fine. Let me get dressed."

It wasn't long before the two of them had prepared and taken flight toward the brightly glowing beam. They reached the source of light and saw where it was coming from. A massive crater had appeared in the ground, and from it, a pillar of light was being projected. Marisa was first to land, eager to investigate. The two descended toward the edge, and looking into it, noticed it was much larger than it had appeared from the air.

Marisa descended into it, sliding down the curved edges, with Reimu close behind. As they approached, the pillar of light began to fade; revealing what looked to be some kind of strange meteor in where it had been.

Marisa Kirisame gazed at the object in front of her. It was a giant rock, crystalline; almost like an amethyst. Obsidian-looking protrusions jutted out of it at odd angles. As she approached it, she shivered. The air around it was cold, almost unbearably so, and the object's mere presence felt wrong. She looked at it, and noticed that it had something inside. She looked closer, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw that a living creature lay within. Marisa tapped the crystalline structure, curious about what it was, and immediately drew back. The object was cold, so much that it almost burned her fingertip. She stared into the object again, looking at the creature.

KRIK

A crack began to form and inch it's way upon the fallen object. Marisa slowly reached for a spell card, ready to defend herself. As if hit by an invisible hammer, the object shattered into a million pieces.

No. 179342
Please give feedback, I take all of it into account so as to improve my writing!
No. 179343
Way to rip off Imperfect Metamorphosis. Besides that, it looks better than your previous attempt at writing back in 2013, for what that's worth.
No. 179347
Hey. you improved.
No. 179352
>>179343
I ripped off it? I don't think so. Just because I did a sci fi thing doesn't mean I ripped off it.
That comment actually hurt me a bit because I put quite a bit of thought into this. Imperfect metamorphosis was great, but I see no similarities aside from the gore which hasn't even been released. Care to name any? Because I frankly don't see it.
No. 179353
>>179347
Good to hear. I hope I can get better.
No. 179354
Hehe. It's weird to see you in two places at once~ Just earlier you sent me a PM on Fan Fiction! Anywho, I'll definitely get around to reading this sooner or later. We'll see if it's better this time. Not that it was terrible the first time or anything ...Also, in no way can I imagine this being anything like Imperfect Metamorphosis, so don't listen to that guy.

Also, excuse my name-fagging or what have you; I'm only using my author name so that he will recognize me. To everyone else, just ignore me! I was never here...

Doubt anyone would recognize me by name anyways. Not on this site, anyways. Not until I finally get off my bony little bottom and write my planned CYOAs. Then I will get me some exposure, and it will be great! Unless I die from exposure, or my film gets over developed. Then that will be less great.

Great, now I've started talking to myself! That never ends well. Just figured I'd pop in and say hello.

...Right, I never said hello, did I? Well, it's too late now! Abandon ship!

Hello~
No. 179359
>>179354

ಠ_ಠ
No. 179363
You know, it makes one feel very self conscious when you stare that intently, >>179359
No. 179366
>>179354
I didn't bother to put my name. OP here, just wanted to thank ya for dropping by and reading this. Glad to see you read my PM, and I look forward to your future content as well.
No. 179367
>>179363
That's the point. Your posts are bad and you should feel bad.

Please read >>/gensokyo/6052 to learn how users are expected to behave in this site.
No. 179383
>>179367
>no emoticons allowed.
No. 179394
>>179354
Hey, welcome to THP. I hope >>179359 doesn't scare you off; I guess the anonymity around here can attract elitism. You kind of remind of a story on this site, somehow. Anyway, It's a pleasure to meet you.

>>179367
>That's the point. Your posts are bad and you should feel bad.
The only bad posts in this thread are yours. Please, don't stir up drama where it needn't be stirred up.
No. 179401
>>179341
Almost forgot to read this. Nice hook, by the way. I'm a little curious of what this is about. So, uh, what I'm trying to say is good job.
No. 179402
>>179383

>Also, using this ಠ_ಠ smiley doesn’t seem to be looked down upon. Is this true? And if so, just out of curiosity, why is it fine using this particular smiley?
>These guidelines are simply guidelines and not absolutely enforced rules. The guidelines should only be strictly followed until one has spent enough time on the board to actually learn the etiquette to follow, rather than following the crash course. Sage is a good example of this; it is frequently stated that every post should be a sage if it is not a writer giving an update. This is certainly not true, but it is a good guideline to follow until you learn to not fucking bump year old stories.

Read the whole thread, you silly nigger.

>>179394

>I guess the anonymity around here can attract elitism

Less elitism, more board culture*. It's the same as when someone wears a Hawaiin shirt to a formal party or burps loudly during dinner. It may be all cool in Hawaii and Rome, but expect to be mocked and scorned anywhere else. As they say, when in Rome, puking up your lunch so you can come back for seconds is a compliment to the chef and not taking extra food home in a napkin is bad manners. I think I might be mixing up my idioms, but that's culture for you!

*But then again, aren't culture and elitism the same thing anyway?

>>179354

Welcome to THP, but please don't do this again. Please follow the instructions in >>/forest/28235 to get up to speed on the basics of THP, including such things as supported BBS code, how to contact the sites staff and information about how board software works. I hope you enjoy your stay!
No. 179404
>>179402
There was no reason for >>179367 to act the way they did. There are much, much nicer ways to get the point across. (Such as the way you brought it up in the bottom of your own post.)

Besides, it was elitism. Using specific emoticons (which is looked down upon) like ಠ_ಠ to highlight about another user's breaking of "culture?" Uhm.

Sure, there are exceptions based on the situation, but I would argue that >>179354 also deserves an exception, too. None of the usual "guidelines" were overstepped in their post. No emoticons, and the namefagging was there so that OP knew who the person was, which is something even I've had to do in the past. Besides that, I can only think of the tildes, but I've seen those used many times on this site so I don't know what the problem would be with them. So, that leaves... the sugary style? I don't see how that's acceptable to be so rude about.

In any case, >>179354 didn't deserve the rudeness.
No. 179407
>>179404

>There was no reason for >>179367 to act the way they did.

Eh, do people really take the "Your x are bad and you should feel bad" posts seriously? I don't think I've really seen anyone use it in more than half-serious jest. It's just another dumb internet meme, spawned from Futurama.

>Besides, it was elitism. Using specific emoticons (which is looked down upon) like ಠ_ಠ to highlight about another user's breaking of "culture?" Uhm.

I'd like to note that ಠ_ಠ, along with ;_;, has always been considered an acceptable emoticon here as long as you don't overuse them, at least as far as I'm aware. It's most of the others that are considered unacceptable, due to their prolific use by and association with shitposters. Not really important though, I still get what you're saying.

>So, that leaves... the sugary style? I don't see how that's acceptable to be so rude about.

I'm not >>179367, but that's probably it. THP is an offshoot of /jp/, which was filled with cynical people with depression at the time. There was an unwritten rule that nobody wanted to know about you or hear you ramble about your life, and people who violated this rule were called out for "blogging". You can go back in the archives and occasionally see people get told "THP isn't your blog" when they talked about anything not directly related to touhou or writing. Considering that >>179354 is five times as sweet as you and twice as rambly as me, it was bound to set some people's teeth on edge. It even made me wince a little and I'm pretty mellow. Doesn't really excuse it, but makes it understandable.

>In any case, >>179354 didn't deserve the rudeness.

We'll agree on that. Anon overreacted again, as we tend to do. Better than the old days, mind you, but still. All I can really recommend is for people to lurk more before posting to get an idea of what's likely to get them called out by an irate anon, and to not take THP and anon too seriously. Take it easy and all that.
No. 179409
>>179407
>Eh, do people really take the "Your x are bad and you should feel bad" posts seriously? I don't think I've really seen anyone use it in more than half-serious jest. It's just another dumb internet meme, spawned from Futurama.

Point taken. I would blame it on "lack of tone on the internet" but maybe I was being touchy. Also, >>179354 reminded me of something dear to me, so maybe that was part of it.

>Considering that >>179354 is five times as sweet as you and twice as rambly as me, it was bound to set some people's teeth on edge. It even made me wince a little and I'm pretty mellow. Doesn't really excuse it, but makes it understandable.

I guess I do understand, a little. I wasn't personally upset by it, but I understand.

>We'll agree on that. Anon overreacted again, as we tend to do. Better than the old days, mind you, but still. All I can really recommend is for people to lurk more before posting to get an idea of what's likely to get them called out by an irate anon, and to not take THP and anon too seriously. Take it easy and all that.

>pic related
I shall now go back to my writing corner. Sorry for derailing your topic, OP.
No. 179410
>>179409
Gosh, I forgot my pic.
No. 179411
>>179409
>>179410

>I guess I do understand, a little. I wasn't personally upset by it, but I understand.

This is my favourite way for shitstorms to end.

>Gosh, I forgot my pic.

Just so you know, you can always copy your post, delete it, then repost with the picture attached.
No. 179412
>>179411
True, and I usually do that, but to be honest I was feeling too lazy.
No. 179417
>>179401
Thanks!
No. 179418
>>179409
It's fine, don't sweat it.
No. 179419
>>179417
>>179418
When responding to posts that are not directly a part of the story, the general courtesy is to sage your posts so you don't bump the thread back to the front.
No. 179420
>>179418

Whoa! How the hell are you still alive? Shouldn't you be like...200 years old or something?
No. 179424
>>179420
Wait. Where do you know me from?
I've posted fics here before, but it was recently. Like, a month or two ago. But if you are reffering to my fanfic.net account, then yes; I am ancient.
No. 179436
So, over all, I'm getting mixed signals; did I, or did I not, break the rules? Luminous gave me a rundown of the rules months ago, but I suppose he may have missed something.
No. 179437
It would've been better to post in /shorts/, probably.
No. 179438
>>179436

So long as there's a place where we vote for stuff, I'm not seeing any rules broken. I mean...this IS another fanfiction site after all.
No. 179439
>>179436 here. I'm >>179354 , not OP. I was just wondering, because people got into a bit of a shit storm over me apparently breaking the rules. And then someone said I'm not actually breaking the rules? I'm utterly confused by this point.
No. 179440
Whoops! Forgot to sage. Silly me~ Sorry about that! Didn't mean to bump the thread...
No. 179444
>>179439
Well, the issue wasn't over a rule, per say, but over this board's "culture." For example, THP doesn't like emoticons. It's not against any rules to use them, but if you do you will almost assuredly be targeted by the users around here.

As for what you actually did, well, you didn't do anything against the rules OR the "culture." We can only assume that >>179359 was being irritable. Or something. I dunno.
No. 179448
>>179444

Actually, repeatedly and blatantly using emoticon to express oneself IS indeed against the rules.

to quote the Mod post;

>It'd be in your best interest to avoid the complaints and moderation you'd get for disregarding the behavioural standards and making a scene be refusing to adhere to the guidelines. While you won't be banned for a single breach of the guidelines, continuous and blatant disregard for the standard will lead to moderation.

Those we're made four years ago though...so I'm not sure if they really even apply to today's culture.

Sure...there's gunna be a few naysayers, but I'm guessing the majority of THP could care less how someone posts.
No. 179449
>>179448

But... I really haven't used any emoticons? The only emoticon used was that one guy that was staring at me funny... And, of course, that wasn't me. I could see if was typing like I usually would, with a lot of XD and all sorts of emotes, but I'm not... Unless tilde counts as an emoticon now? Because I've never even heard of tilde being referred to as such... And if that was the case, I would probably just give up on writing here, because I use tilde in my writing, not to mention using a copious amount of the little squiggle myself! Or were you just talking about in general...? Now you have me worried... I was looking forward to writing on the same site as my... friend... Luminous. Not to mention that those stories would certainly work better as CYOAs than as my usual fare.
No. 179450
>>179449

My post was directed to >>179444. More specifically, this line here;

>It's not against any rules to use them
No. 179451
>>179449
Now that you mention it, using tildes in writing is actually somewhat discouraged, because it's often seen used by "emoticoners", and emoticons are a huge no-no in a story. There are other more literary ways to express a sing-song tone in writing, so use them if you can. Of course, this is a fanfiction site, so nobody's going to flay you alive for that (at most, you'll get barked at), but for some people, tildes are a sign of bad writing and that will put them off from your story.

Same goes for normal speak. It's not a violation of the guidelines per se, but again, for some people it is incredibly annoying. Just try to imagine talking to a person who always acts all perky and diabeetus-inducing-sweet; it gets grating after a while. At least, it does for me.
No. 179452
>>179451

Perhaps you were thinking of the stigma associated with ellipses when you made this? I don't want to get all "oldfag" in here, but I have never seen an instance in which an author was called out for using tildes.

The many instance I have seen them used on this site we're all character appropriate and story related.
No. 179453
>>179449

It's this type of overemotional posting that probably set off >>179359.

If you really want to know what you did to get this reaction, it's as follows; namefagging, talking too much while saying too little, being too bright and cheery on a imageboard known for cynical depressed people, violating an old unwritten rule to "avoid blogging", and using too many elipses. Of these, only namefagging is actually against the rules and even then it's a "for your own good" rule, which you are free to violate as long as you don't care about people stalking, harassing or bitching about you.

Let me refer to my previous post for what you should do;

>All I can really recommend is for people to lurk more before posting to get an idea of what's likely to get them called out by an irate anon, and to not take THP and anon too seriously. Take it easy and all that.

Short version; sit down, relax and don't get so excited. It's just anon making mountains out of molehills again. Posting in such an overexcited manner makes you stand out from the crowd and puts a target on your back, so calm down and you shouldn't have any problems. Browsing through the site to get an idea of the expected manner of posting before actually interacting with the community is highly recommended, and likely to minimise any more incidents.

Also; cut down on the elipses. Seriously.
No. 179454
>>179451
>>179452

Shit, people all started posting while I was typing. But yeah, >>179452 is right, as long as the tildes are story and character related (and you don't overuse them), nobody will call you out on them. Some of THP's most loved authors have used them, and if they can, there's no reason you can't either. If they do call you out, that really would be elitism.

>Same goes for normal speak. It's not a violation of the guidelines per se, but again, for some people it is incredibly annoying. Just try to imagine talking to a person who always acts all perky and diabeetus-inducing-sweet; it gets grating after a while. At least, it does for me.

Yeah, that's basically the summarised version of my little argument with Flanders up there. Some people here are really touchy about that sort of thing, what with being ex-4channers.
No. 179455
>>179454

And yet, to this day, 4chan still has pony threads, anime threads, and other such instances where normal speak is appropriate.

One could almost argue that obeying AND disobeying cultural standards is what it truly means to be anonymous.
No. 179457
>>179455

>And yet, to this day, 4chan still has pony threads, anime threads, and other such instances where normal speak is appropriate

4chan is a cesspool where the only standards are the ones held by individual posters and the ones enforced by Moot. And Moot is a tremendous faggot. So are most of the posters.

Also, note that the people populating those threads are almost universally loathed by the majority of 4chan's users, or at least they were the last time I was there (admittedly a long time ago).

Besides, most of our ex-4channers came from before it became shit more shit.

Rule of the Internet; 4chan is always in a downward spiral of shittiness. No exceptions.
No. 179458
New chapter coming soon. also, it would be nice if people held this debate somewhere else.
No. 179460
Chapter 3 uploaded. Also, it would be nice if somebody could go over my writing before I upload it, because I suck at writing casual dialogue. Anyways, I don't think it is as good as the first or 2nd chapter; but that is just my opinion. The fic gets awesome near the end though. I have some written down already so expect more updates in the near future.
No. 179461
>Using this site merely to advertise a ff.net story
No. 179462
>>179461
Advertising? No. I use it for updates to the story, and I wanted to share it here without reposting the whole damned thing. Don't like what I'm doing? fine with me.
No. 179463
>>179462
At least have the decency of posting the actual story here too. We're a fanfiction site too; we don't need no external links to read stories. It won't kill you to copy yours here, and it'll make the life of this site's users easier.
No. 179465
Ah screw it all. FINE. I'll do it. No update thread. But seriously, it would be better to read on the other site because of italics and such. I'm not going to the trouble of putting in all the [/insert format here]