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File 163847207678.jpg - (320.73KB, 1551x1017, I made it just for you (2).jpg)
I made it just for you (2)
Happy day Anon, I have a cake for you. Please enjoy it.

[] eat it
[] never
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I'm on a diet.

...

[x] eat it
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That is clearly a pie.
[] never
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File 163847312015.jpg - (150.06KB, 1080x1349, Will you really eat me.jpg)
Will you really eat me
>>2409

But even so you will eat me? t-t-thank you!

Wait, you need to wash your hands first Anon...I don't want you to get sick.

[] Wash hands.
[] never

>>2410

Is a pie that much worse? I can be better Anon!

Please give me a chance! Just one bite is all I need!

[] eat it
[] never
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My hands are clean enough.

[x] never
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Ah, I see, is this the place for southeast-Asian patisserie enthusiasts?
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File 163847364875.jpg - (22.87KB, 426x337, oh my god anon.jpg)
oh my god anon
>>2412

A-non, you don't mean...you're going to eat me just like that?

Without washing your hands? but anon, that's s--super d-d-dangerous!.

At least wear gloves, or uses a fork. Going barehand is too much!

[] use gloves/ use fork
[] never.
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What do you take me for—some barbarian? I don't need tools to feed myself with.

[x] never
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File 163847449381.jpg - (1.65MB, 4200x2804, Pie is confused.jpg)
Pie is confused
>>2415

Anon...don't do it. That's not how you eat a pie...

Y-you don't know what you're dealing with!

Think about how much care was made in this cake, the time that was taken in baking it. The feelings that were put into it!

Are you really going to ignore all that to selfishly feast with your bare hands like some monster?!

[] Eat it with your bare hands
[] never
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I feast with my bare hands just as I feast with my bare teeth. What does it matter to you or anyone else!

[x] Eat it with your bare hands
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File 163847496054.jpg - (35.97KB, 400x291, Stop or ill shoot.jpg)
Stop or ill shoot
>>2417

W-whoa whoa anon! Why are you looming over me?

Come on it's okay Anon, just say you're joking and I'll fo-

HEY NO! BACK AWAY! BACK AWAY!

Stop it Anon! I have a gun and I know how to use it!

Listen to me, wash your hands and then you can eat me.

No more and no less, don't make this any harder than it needs
to be.

[] Wash your hands
[] never
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Shoot me! You will never be eaten then. Wash my hands with my own blood, if you can bear it!

[x] never
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File 163847585039.png - (179.79KB, 400x291, I dont want to do this I dont want to do this.png)
I dont want to do this I dont want to do this
>>2419

Anon.....

I-I understand, I should have never gone that far.
B-but I have to because you won't listen. You know I have to stop you from trying to do what you do, it's too dangerous. It's batshit insane even!

Please anon, be reasonable. Don't ruin everything like this.

I'm just a pie, I'm made to be eaten and give joy to others. Not shoot people!

But if you continue I will have to fight back, you're simply acting too vile for a cake.

Please stop this, I just want to have fun. Please think of everyone and do the right thing.

[] Wash your hands
[] never
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You decide whether this has to end in tragedy. My conscience is clear.

[x] never
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even if you're being ironic
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File 16384764326.jpg - (13.27KB, 1280x720, BANG.jpg)
BANG
>>2421

BANG!
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File 163847666553.png - (200.73KB, 889x296, Cake goes to haven.png)
Cake goes to haven
The cake could not kill Anon, it did not have the heart for it.

Now it is in cake heaven, where it can be prepared into a Cheddar Cheese Apple pie for a certain celestial while Anon gets nothing.

Wait, only peaches are allowed in heaven.

This might be an problem....

Next episode: Why heaven fell.

Coming never!

Truly this is the saddest of endings.

SAD END!


I'm done shitposting now, thank you for your time Anon.
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not even a funny shitpost 0/10
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File 16384793958.jpg - (29.33KB, 600x503, wapplethumbnail.jpg)
wapplethumbnail
>>2425

Yeah you're face is a funnier shitpost!
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>>2426
Hey Apple!
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been a while since we had a somewhat serious attempt at a shitpost. I missed it.
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File 163854271474.jpg - (850.19KB, 800x1200, hakutaku.jpg)
hakutaku
keine solchen Scheißpfösten, bitte
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File 163873600063.png - (270.63KB, 750x850, tellemmisskeine.png)
tellemmisskeine
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File 164340806387.jpg - (110.83KB, 850x478, Do it anon.jpg)
Do it anon
Screw you Keine, don't tell me what to do.

https://youtu.be/dmtK7RiIz1A

[Narrator]
Europe, Asia, Africa
Yukari “You come in her, or I’ll come for you” Yakumo, the youkai of boundaries
visited these and all other continents
the world had to offer
and yet she still met only one man worthy of Reimu

[Yukari ”If you don’t fill that womb, you’re going in the tomb” Yakumo]
You want my maiden?
You can have her!
I left everything you need together
at my place
Now you just have to fuck her!

[Narrator]
These words called this man to Chris' house
Promising dreams greater than
he ever dared to imagine
This is the man known as THE GREAT ANON MCNOMYOUIS!

[Chorus consisting of just Ran and some other fox-girls]
Come aboard and bring along
all your outsider sperm
Together we will become family
once you marry her!

ANON!

[Verse]

Condoms left behind
they will only slow us down
Your cock will be your guide
Raise the shaft and ease her down

That legendary child
That the end of nine months reveals
is only legendary
'til you too make it real

Through it all
through all the intercourse
to the pleasure
through players' lies

Know that I will be there
to stand by you
just so I know you cum inside

[Chorus of the same people, except Chen happens to walk in to Ran’s embarrassment]
So come aboard and bring along
all your outsider sperm
Together we will become family
once you marry her

There's always room for more
if you want to try for twins
ANON, ANON, Fill dat HAKUREI!!!

Anon

Take that Keine!

Source: https://youtu.be/QlU76wEc33k
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"What the fuck anon, why are you fucking that green shrine maiden?! My Reimu is right there!"
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