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> Would you pilot a Space Robot?
"Hm. Erh.... depends. I mean, if I was in space, maybe. But when it comes down to it, I don't know what that's all made of except it seems like maybe cardboard considering how easily it gets shot up and blown apart by giant-robo swords and space bombs. And I mean, I can kick through steel, so there's that. And seems like they automatically self-destruct whenever they break or something, so I'm basically wrapping myself safely up in a big bottle of nitro with a primed explosive plug just waiting to go off.
So yeah, mark me as a solid 'Maybe, not committed one way or another' on that one. I'd kind of rather be that one guy who charges up and beats the robots to death without any weapons, but maybe.
I guess if I really had to be in space for some reason I would try running really fast, then jumping really high, and achieving escape velocity. Supposedly rabbits did that looooong ago, and that's where moon bunnies came from. And then one thing led to another, time passed and the Lunarians happened, a couple of space-bunnies loved each other very very much and filled all the paperwork to get approval to form a baby, stuff happened, and now Reisen lives at Eientei.
But yeah, call me old-fashioned, but I think I might lean towards the traditional methods of rabbit space-faring. I mean, worst that can happen is my eyes explode out of my skull, my skin freezes and shatters, and all my blood boils out through my cracks and pores, so... no worries. No rush either, mind."
>Capital of Assyria?
"Gonna have to be more specific than that. You know they call that region 'Iraq' these days, right? Well, unless there's been some kind of political overthrow and the new guy in charge renamed it. Or everyone died and people later moved into the free space and started a new country. These things happen.
But seriously, you mean the first capital, last, somewhere in between, or how things were when I passed through that part of the globe last? I don't often head through that area, usually go to other places if I leave Japan. Central americas, bits of europe, some pretty cold places, actually I'm bored now. Next question."
>What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen-
"Oh, you're just a funny guy. Depends on ascending or descending. Gravity's a bitch that way. And yeah, I know that's not the one you were fishing for."
>Are you scared of Rumia?
"Ruuuuuumi..... uh. Hold on, I'm pretty sure I had this one pointed out to me in a crowd, even if we haven't really been introduced. Let me see. Definitely.... hangs out with the frost fairy, blonde, headgear, doesn't narrow that down too much, lives at the... No, that Curse god lives in the mountaintop shrine in Tengu-ville. Oh right, yeah, airplane arms, black and white not the witch, usually has at least a whiff of some kind of blood in the air?
Nah. Not any more than any other predator, anyway. Of course, a bear or something gets the picture that it's not really that hungry after you give it a couple of good kicks, usually. Too much trouble for the food. Things that can think properly are a bit more of a hassle. But no, can't think of why I would be. I mean, the only problem with something hungry is if I'm stupid enough to get caught or trapped, right? No sweat.
..... Also, uh, don't try that whole bear-kicking thing at home, kids. Unless you, too, can kick through steel in which case go ahead and do whatever you want I guess. Because very few people are going to attempt to stop you, most likely. Break a leg. Hopefully not yours."
>Why are all the other rabbits so different from you in personality? One would think that they'd try to imitate you.
"Dunno. Why are all you humans different in personality from the local Senator?
Well, I guess that's not fair. And to some degree, they do try. Just not really good at it. One degree or another, still got a whole bunch of rabbit impulses, just got bigger and smarter and grew a set of thumbs at some point. Which means entirely vegetarian, and usually jumpy about people they can recognize to at least probably be omnivores and so there's a fair to decent chance of being eaten, in the back of their minds, that they can't quite kick. That little voice going "Hey, these people eat meat. I am made of meat and so are all my friends. Well, usually. It's the normal thing to be made of. But it still makes interacting with most people a bit weird.
Well, and so does the little voice that says 'You aren't currently pregnant, you really should be procreating right about now'.
To be fair, mind you, both of those are critical points for your standard bush-hopping non chatty rabbit because hey, prey beast. There are a lot of things that want to eat you, in the wild something will usually try pretty regularly, so most of your day is spent furtively eating and drinking, running away from things with pointy teeth, and making lots of easier targets for anything that happens on you to snap at. Pretty biologically focused on it. Have enough kids, some of them will live long enough to be the next generation and all of that.
Well, what I'm saying is personality isn't based around that, but a rabbit that isn't sure if you're going to try to eat it or not gets jumpy, and if it's smart enough to understand you saying you won't, it's also smart enough to know you might be lying and just biding your time. So you get a wide spectrum of personalities, though they're at least usually a little colored by being a rabbit. They all respect me, sure, but that doesn't mean they all even want to be exactly like me. Those that do usually aren't too good at it.
Basically, without getting into psychology textbooks and charging by the hour for frank and uncomfortable conversations, it's just that not everyone can be as incredible as I am. It's a curse, my burden to bear."
>What makes you happy, Tewi?
"Kind of an iffy question.
I mean what, really, makes anyone 'happy'? Money, power? Thrills and excitement, or just the simple pleasures of having a roof over your head to sleep under and warm food to eat? Brain chemistry shifting from exersize, sex, or some kind of drink or drug, or just quietly sitting in peace somewhere aesthetically pleasing?
Really, happiness is probably ill defined. The important point is the decision to be happy. Sieze the carp and all of that other stuff I picked up from leafing through a self-help motivational phamplet for depressed industry workers once.
Leaving vague philosophy aside, gonna have to say cake. Cake makes me happy. Specifically carrot cake.
Whether or not it yells when I pounce."
>How does Mating Season affect you?
Hahaha.... just a sec..... kenyehehehe.
Look, rabbits flat out don't go into 'heat' like a dog or what have you, right? We can breed year round. More in the summer, because there's lots of food and it's warm, so the kittens will probably survive long enough to grow fur and handle themselves. Less in the winter becaue, you know, the opposite. But there's no actual single period of time that we're fertile in, and can't breed outside of. You want to get technical, we can get pregnant right the next day after giving birth.
You hear a Rabbit try to push something about a 'mating season' on you, it's a complete bluff. They might say 'anyone will do', but only if you're the only one there. It's like, the most blatant of alone-friday-night saucy pick up lines."
>If you really tried, do you think you could cause Yukari enough grief that she would give up on the whole 'lol portals' crap? Just hypothetically.
.... Let's just say that there's a bit of agreement going around between some people to try not to track mud over each others' carpets if possible, as it were. And I mean, I've got a bit of a reputation myself, which gives me more leeway than some others because troublemaking is just expected, buuuut...
Well, let's leave this one as questionable. I probably could give the witch of in-betweens a headache or three, but...
Well, she's crazy stubborn about some things sometimes. When she's not being crazy whimsical. So she might can the idea just for being asked to, or it might not be worth the effort to try because she won't pull her claws out of the plan for anything, and the headaches I'll get back in turn will be worse and then it just turns into a back and forth downward spiral.
I mean, there's good reason for that whole little agreement, and looking for indirect ways to solve conflicts.
And when it comes down to it, the worst that happens is a few humans I don't know might die. And I mean, I don't get too bent out of shape by rabbits I know dying. Everything seems to be happy to eat a rabbit, sometimes. And not just the wee animals, occasionally there'll be a cock-up with one of those dinosaurs.
Shame, but that's how it goes.
I guess if there's someone interesting, I might go out of my way togive them a hand or a foot, but who knows, really. Or if I happen to be there, I guess. Depends."
>What do you find interesting about Patchouli?
Well now. Obviously we'd crossed paths once or twice, both at the clinic and beyond. But before, it was always with her looking just two or three hearbeats shy of falling over dead, picking up medicine because things couldn't just be ignored any more.
Just seeing her healthier was a bit startling, because before, it was just a surprise that she wasn't dead yet.
Now that aside, she was going by the forest paths, with a werewolf I've never met, and I thought I knew all the ones in Gensokyo. Or knew of them, anyway. I could have been mistaken, but that caught my attention.
And of course, the hammer. Though, it wasn't that little hammer itself. I've owned nice things before, still own a nicer trinket or two here or there, and I've lost and given away and gambled and sold a lot more. For just a moment, when it was made, she was honestly surprised about what she was holding. It was pretty lucky of her, I think.
Really, more than enough reason to look a little closer. For what.... that, I'm not sure yet. Haven't decided.
But hey, that's all the time we have, folks. Tune in next time, for a special new guest star."