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File 137894946728.jpg - (339.32KB, 722x722, Social_Gathering_ensues.jpg) [iqdb]
58875No. 58875
You are Patchouli Knowledge, a physically frail and sickly magician of profound aptitude and power. You live in the Voile Archives of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, though you have constructed an attached tower elsewhere, without internal fixtures as yet, which you may or may not inhabit much. You are Friends with Remilia, the vampire who owns the mansion, who considers it entirely too much effort to try to feed off you. Your Magical Potency varies somewhat from day to day, depending on how long of an incantation you can manage before breaking off into a fit of coughs, and how much strain your body can handle in addition to the rigors of illness. You currently have a box of ninety four vials of Medication stored in the library to offset the worst of the days, however, though it will later exact a toll, and your new Magical Focus eases use of magic to a significant degree. It seems that Luck can play a reasonable part in keeping yourself healthy, though effects may vary, as can the Hakurei Hot Spring.

Your magic is based on Elementalism primarily, though you are also skilled in Diabolism and Other Summonings, which can be surprisingly versatile, particularly in combination with Golems. You can also create Homunculi, if you have the materials to hand. You do not have any suitable samples of the key ingredient, however.

The date is Aug. 30. It is Tuesday, day of Mars, of War and Fire and Conflict of every sort. Through dint of long and methodical practice, you find the use of Fire-natured elemental magics to come a touch easier on this day.

-----

It's not much of a difficult question.

After all, when all is said and done, you don't really care about who gets what, when, beyond your own schedule. And while this one is structured in such a way that you'll have to put in more effort on some days than others, aside from that it's...

Elegant. Streamlined, and nearly symmetrical, though you can forgive the failure in perfect arrangement as that would have left fourth year in a poor slot, and then your number of 'bad' classes would have outweighed the 'good', albeit only slightly, rather than being perfectly balanced and weighted neither to one side or the other.

It's... neatly, and aesthetically presented in a fashion that you can't help but admire a little. Moreso, it's a masterful stroke, which Severus had to have planned out on the spur of the moment, both occupying multiple of the superior time-slots with your classes and denying them to Minerva and her allies, while at the same time rejecting accusations of foul play and favoritism by lodging you into an identical number of unpleasant timeframes which, in that move, he was then assured not to have to take himself.

In that same breath, your own complaints at being obliged to take poor times were silenced by the fact that those slots were filled with those students that could, theoretically, just deal with keeping their minds on work rather than dinner, and if not can be chastised for the lack of personal discipline with fewer raised eyebrows.

You think that cold water would be a reasonable deterrent. Cold water is usually very good at shocking a subject into focus on the here and now, even if that usually turns quickly to indignation at having been splashed with cold water. On the other hand, fire is also very good at getting attention, as are large rocks, and sharp bits of whirling metal. In the end, though, cold water is generally less of a final attention-grabber, so you'll probably default to that.

In any case, the man is fairly good at making sure that everyone... does not get everything they want. In fact, that nobody gets anything near what they would consider the best of all available options. But, in turn, that they do get... enough. Just barely enough, in the end, that even those who he's deliberately shafted in order to make others just... the slightest bit more pleased with the situation, are still begrudging, not happy, but accepting that it is 'good enough'.

It's all very political. The point gets across, but at the same time it's almost scrupulously.... 'fair'.

Not fair like the neutral parts of things, of course, where it seems like they actually don't have any little grudges or snubs gathered throughout the year to pay back, but... 'fair', and at the same time, making a point out of putting a little thorn here and there just so.

Minerva, by contrast, is much more direct about things, and in the absence of subtlety, a pretense at 'fairness' just goes right out the window as the focus begins, ends, and remains at all times on driving the knife home somewhere painful. The 'fairness' there is that the woman is so singlemindedly focused that Sprout ends up slipping time-slots around here and there that she's not paying much attention to, since she's more set on making sure that her opponent 'loses' than moving to ensure that she 'wins'. Like a cat so focused on playing with a baby rat that it doesn't notice until hours later that the rest of the family has come and gone from the larder.

Oh, it's a fun little assortment of personalities in this room.

Even so... all the options have something going for them, and drawbacks. But it's the one that Snape has outlined that most appeals. So that is the one you push for.

It's not the ending blow right there, but the flash in Flitwick's eyes shows that he knows as well as you do that, even if it takes another thirty minutes and there are some further minor adjustments to make, the general outline has now been decided. You suspect that Snape would also be showing the subtle gleam of victory, if he were not occupied with a not-quite-shouting match with McGonagall.

Someone mutters something about 'just snog already', though it doesn't seem to be particularly noticed over the current argument regarding where clarity of thought is most required: In a class where one might accidentally turn their hand into a hawk, or where errors would instead cause caustic and toxic fumes to erupt from a cauldron set over incorrect heat, possibly killing everyone in the room within one hundred and eighty seconds.

.... Presuming the word to mean anything similar to what you suspect, you do not actually see anything resembling sexual tension, yourself. Just the normal sort of tension, that comes from incompatible personalities rubbing against each other, where each refuses to be ground down by the other.

Even so, the woman looks like she's swallowed a lemon when things wind down and she finally takes a proper, long look at what she's agreed to. But as you've already noted, Snape is quite good at arranging things such that even if people dislike them, they do not abhor them enough to complain, or start another argument over it right from the very beginning of the last one. Especially when this will upset all of the other people who are more or less satisfied with the outcome, and will not be well pleased to return to square one.

Naturally, she quickly excuses herself, stalking out like an aggrieved housecat that has just been splashed with cold water, and Snape almost smiles at the victory.

Barely a heartbeat passes before the room is abuzz with what has to be over a dozen separate conversations.

"You will all recall, of course, that the match is scheduled to begin at noon. As there is no particular fanfare involved in one of the early-year games, and athletes being the impatient sorts they are, it is likely that it may actually begin so much as even a full half hour before then." Severus says, seeming pleased enough to be more forthcoming with words than he might otherwise be. "Arriving early would be advisable. You will also note that there are two tickets per person to go around, so there should be no issue with bringing a friend or associate... or, hm, simply scalping the spare ticket immediately before the match proceeds. There is always some ill-prepared bungler who makes preparations, travels, and even waits patiently in a tent for a day or two to discover at the last moment that they have entirely forgotten to purchase tickets to the event."

"Yes, yes, ah. Miss Knowledge, you mentioned a duel?" Flitwick interrupts.

"An exhibition match, indeed. I believe the students would benefit from such a demonstration... though I am afraid I don't know exactly when the best time would be to schedule such matters, obviously after the students have arrived-"

"Oh, I do enjoy these batteries." Burbage chuckles. "They run all manner of quaint muggle devices... though, you know, I haven't the foggiest how they work?"

Is, you aren't certain if that's a question directed at you? You decide to answer anyway.

"I recall that they store electrical current, something to do with the interaction of a metallic rod placed inside a specific 'battery' acid?"

"Oh my, how ingenious." Burbage responds, in much the same way as one might praise the finger-paintings of an amusing nephew. "Dear me, I wouldn't have put it together. Though I do recall burning a finger, once, when I opened one up to examine the insides. However did you know so readily?"

Aside from prizing Knowledge in all it's variations? You frown a little.

".... Long ago, I was... romantically entangled, you might say, with a scientist." You allow. "It ended... poorly, for all involved."

Idiotic hypocrisies of the age. Unseemly if you pretend something, quietly offensive if you don't, really you just couldn't win. You're surprised that more people didn't end up burning things through the frustration of it all.

You'd really though you'd meshed quite well, too. Shows what you knew.

In any case, you desperately try to carry on two separate idle chatterings with the astronomy and arithmancy instructors, involving math and the current star positions, even as madame Burbage tuts, somehow conveying in the mouth-noise both sympathy for your circumstances and a distinct interest in knowing more that isn't quite voiced.

..... You're getting a little dizzy. There is just too much talking, trying to keep track of everything that is being said all at the same time is... well, you almost always have some sort of headache simmering, so you can't really say that it's giving you one, but it is starting to bring the one you have to a slow boil.

Conversations should be held one-on-one, or at least with the number of participants properly minimized. There should be a law requiring that.

------

[ ] What do you do?
Expand all images
>>No. 58877
>>58875

[x] KEEP TALKING. Force the headache to go away if you have to, but be polite and try to befriend as many people as possible.
-[x] Consider what to do with the tickets. Obviously you're going to spectate the match, but who would be a good (or jsut decent and educated) companion?
>>No. 58878
[X] This is problematic. If you can't get used to it now, how will it be later on?
-[X] If necessary, try to end some politely.
[X] If truly necessary, politely excuse yourself for a breath of fresh air. At this rate, this may become apparent to others that you'll need it anyway.
>>No. 58879
[x] Draw both the astronomy and arithmancy instructors into a single conversation by remarking on the use of mathematics to predict the motions of the planets and stars.
>>No. 58880
>>58879
Good one.

If this fails,
[X] Engage whichever teacher seems the most conversationally territorial, use her as a shield against the others. Perhaps Severus, given he emerged victorious over McGonagall in the previous engagement, he is likely the most alpha conversationalist in the pack.
>>No. 58881
I'm of two minds about withdrawing. On the one hand it shows weakness and these people seem like they might pounce on it (at least if it got them better class arrangements). On the other, being the poor sickly person can be a useful pose. Well... People would stop underestimating us once the duel comes around anyway, so may as well try to tough it out.

[x] Draw both the astronomy and arithmancy instructors into a single conversation by remarking on the use of mathematics to predict the motions of the planets and stars.
If this fails,
[X] Engage whichever teacher seems the most conversationally territorial, use her as a shield against the others. Perhaps Severus, given he emerged victorious over McGonagall in the previous engagement, he is likely the most alpha conversationalist in the pack.
>>No. 58882
So what ended up winning? doesn't look clear to me?

[X] This is problematic. If you can't get used to it now, how will it be later on?
[x] Draw both the astronomy and arithmancy instructors into a single conversation by remarking on the use of mathematics to predict the motions of the planets and stars.
If this fails,
[X] Engage whichever teacher seems the most conversationally territorial, use her as a shield against the others. Perhaps Severus, given he emerged victorious over McGonagall in the previous engagement, he is likely the most alpha conversationalist in the pack.

Patchouli hasn't mastered the art of carrying multiple-conversations at once I see. Not surprising but...
>>No. 58883
>>58882
Snape won ie we have a four-day week, with years 1-4 in the mornings and 5-7 in the afternoons.
>>No. 58884
[X] This is problematic. If you can't get used to it now, how will it be later on?
[x] Draw both the astronomy and arithmancy instructors into a single conversation by remarking on the use of mathematics to predict the motions of the planets and stars.
If this fails
[X] Engage whichever teacher seems the most conversationally territorial, use her as a shield against the others. Perhaps Severus, given he emerged victorious over McGonagall in the previous engagement, he is likely the most alpha conversationalist in the pack.

As for the extra ticket, we should bring Marisa, and then we get her involved in quidditch somehow.
I'm sure Slytherin wouldn't mind bringing a "foreign exchange student who wants to learn quidditch from the best", who just so happens to be an expert at broomflying, onto the team.
That way she's busy doing something that is on the other side of the planet from Voile, and the only way back is through our portal. (Barring Yukari's little game of extra portals.)

That way Patchouli can sleep easier at night knowing that Marisa isn't cleaning out the library while we're here. At least until she gets bored and goes home, but hopefully that'll take a while.
>>No. 58885
>>58884

I dunno. I kind of think quidditch doesn't have nearly enough Lasers for Marisa's distinguished palate. And I'm pretty sure flying around Blazing Star style is illegal.
>>No. 58886
>>58885
She'd make fools out of the beaters that for sure
>>No. 58887
>>58884

I'd rather bring someone who Patchouli could have as a guest lecturer and wouldn't embarass her before the students. Someone like Alice.
>>No. 58888
>>58887
Not to mention giving Marisa tickets could encourage her into thinking its a date.

shouldn't encourage a crush further, as much as I'd love to see Marisa school people in broomrides [Both traditional and lap riding] it aint the best idea when reimu gave us a light threat.
>>No. 58890
[X] This is problematic. If you can't get used to it now, how will it be later on?
-[X] If necessary, try to end some politely.
[X] If truly necessary, politely excuse yourself for a breath of fresh air. At this rate, this may become apparent to others that you'll need it anyway.

The only people Patchy would be interested in taking would be the ones she doesn't instinctively hate, unlike fellow magicians...

Personally I want Tewi because she's the only one who deserve our... interest.
>>No. 58891
Taking Tewi would be nice, if she enjoyed herself, because she gives health buffs.

Yes, I am incredibly mercenary. Also, she might want to watch us duel, whenever we nail down the date.
>>No. 58892
[X] This is problematic. If you can't get used to it now, how will it be later on?
[x] Draw both the astronomy and arithmancy instructors into a single conversation by remarking on the use of mathematics to predict the motions of the planets and stars.
If this fails
[X] Engage whichever teacher seems the most conversationally territorial, use her as a shield against the others. Perhaps Severus, given he emerged victorious over McGonagall in the previous engagement, he is likely the most alpha conversationalist in the pack.

I'll put in to bring Tewi with us, because Tewi.
>>No. 58893
[x] Draw both the astronomy and arithmancy instructors into a single conversation by remarking on the use of mathematics to predict the motions of the planets and stars.
If this fails
[X] Engage whichever teacher seems the most conversationally territorial, use her as a shield against the others. Perhaps Severus, given he emerged victorious over McGonagall in the previous engagement, he is likely the most alpha conversationalist in the pack.

I don't think we should try to drag tewi into this. She's not our pet, if she even agrees to shows up she's likely as likely to 'behave' as she is to stir up trouble and pranks for everyone and that will make us look bad by extension.
>>No. 58894
>>58893
'Drag'? You're right, she's not our pet. So if we ask her if she wants to come, she can say no. You know, like any person that is invited somewhere by another.
>>No. 58895
[X] Get the duel sorted
>>No. 58896
>>58895
That is a good idea too, come to think of it.
>>No. 58897
So uhh...is Patchy even bi? All of the...partners that she mentioned from past relations haven´t been identified by gender. Might be nice to know before deciding who we should ask out for this date.
>>No. 58898
>>58897
Seems more like if she care for someone like that, then gender is not important.
>>No. 58899
>>58892
I like the idea of inviting Tewi. I wonder why I didn't think of that.
ThisEvery Tewi is awesome.

I'm guessing there'll be a proper vote for that later?
>>No. 58900
>>58899
Just popping in to say that this Tewi is more awesome than the rest, for reasons I don't fully understand.
>>No. 58901
>>58900
To me, the reason is probably that she's so much more than just "that little trickster rabbit".
Yes she's still a major troll, but I just loved the bits where she talked to the yakuza and such, showing that she has a lot more going on than just digging pit traps around Eientei.

Also, dat truck driving.
>>No. 58902
File 137911914238.jpg - (113.03KB, 850x638, sample-c8c177d1c591d9c599864f8fdb39d65e.jpg) [iqdb]
58902
[X] This is problematic. If you can't get used to it now, how will it be later on?
[x] Draw both the astronomy and arithmancy instructors into a single conversation by remarking on the use of mathematics to predict the motions of the planets and stars.
If this fails
[X] Engage whichever teacher seems the most conversationally territorial, use her as a shield against the others. Perhaps Severus, given he emerged victorious over McGonagall in the previous engagement, he is likely the most alpha conversationalist in the pack.
>>No. 58903
File 137911966796.jpg - (99.07KB, 849x595, demonstrative_graph.jpg) [iqdb]
58903
>>58897
>>58898

This is actually a really good question that I would normally wait for the end of a thread to address, if not for that this one has just started, or otherwise work into an update somewhere, if not for the fact that I can't think of a way to reasonably do so.

When it comes down to it, though, several of her acquaintances... primarily Koakuma and Remilia... have gone through a great deal of extensive and at times highly improper and rude effort to lock down what her proclivities actually are. This has resulted in a large number of various results, not least the extensive application of fire to both of them. The highly confused male underwear model that was discovered in her bed was later rescued from her bedroom and eventually released after she sealed the chamber and left to sleep elsewhere, and it's frustratingly unclear whether she was simply ignoring all of their own prompts or just missed them entirely.

In the end, she doesn't really consider herself 'sexual' full stop. She has been intimate, at one point or another, with both general variations of crotch regions, and can't really say what people find so utterly fascinating about either of them. There is, of course, the physical pleasure involved with stimulation... but really, if there was no reward involved then considering how messy and unpleasant such congress generally is nobody would want to do it at all. Which would have dire results regarding population, of course. In any case, she's never seen what the fuss is there, either. In the end, at least in her experience, there are any number of fascinating things with similar or greater result with far less mess, expense, or expenditure of effort involved.

Generally, rather than selecting companionship based on sudden washes of physical lust that are pretty well absent on her side of things, Patchy has approached romantic endeavors as more of a social contract than anything else and, for example, joined with that scientist because she considered mental compatibility sufficient and that both parts of the equation could suitable further the others' interests enough that the relationship could be considered 'worthwhile'.

Considering that the prevalent understanding of the era was that it was not seemly for women to be particularly interested in such activities, or enjoy them much when there was no other choice but to sigh and wait for him to finish, so she had presumed that there would be no need to bother with pretending she enjoyed the waste of time. Unfortunately, it seems that she missed the less spoken-of memorandum that in fact, while it's not seemly to enjoy it, people get frustrated with themselves if they have to question their talent in bed when it is privately accepted that the lady will grudgingly admit with some small token allowance, that they are actually enjoying it for their part as well.

When that little admission, a soft noise or visible spasm or some sort of gesture is not present, that frustration builds up and one thing just leads to another until the whole house of cards collapses into itself like a laboratory on fire, with escaped screeching research specimens, chemical spills and fumes, and screaming bystanders.

Which is, in fact, a fairly accurate description of how that relationship ended when all is said and done, but that is neither here nor there.
>>No. 58904
>>58903
tl;dr: Patchy just doesn't really care.
>>No. 58905
It's good to know Patchy wouldn't think twice about participating in a magical creature gangbang is it somehow furthered scientific progress.
>>No. 58906
>>58905

It would have to be some pretty impressive scientific progress indeed to make it worth her personal involvement, rather than finding some depraved koakumspecimen that would actually enjoy the effort on some level, or at least be willingly bribed into it with such options as one-to-one scale models of themselves in the obscenely rare mineral or metal of their choice.

Really, I just said 'not really very interested in sex at all', and this somehow immediately turns into 'will fuck anything' within two posts, well done.
>>No. 58907
>>58903
That would indicate that, for example, anyone's success in pursuing Patchouli pretty much comes down to how useful they are vs how much effort the relationship would consume, if I'm interpreting you correctly.

I suppose Tewi really does have a large lead on everyone else, though the cost-benefit analysis still might not favor her.
>>No. 58908
>>58903
Patchy is quite sensible. :)
>>No. 58909
>>58908
> :)

I don't know if you're new here or something, but smilies are expressly discouraged by the people on this site.

If you are new to this site, please read >>/gensokyo/6052/.
>>No. 58910
>>58909

Take your elitist attitude somewhere else. He can post however he wants.
>>No. 58911
>>58910

If you think that's what counts for elitist attitude on this site, you haven't been here long enough. >>58909 was being positively polite and civil by directing them to the guidelines. Most would have flamed them for it. Please don't be a dick about it.
>>No. 58912
>>58911
You're saying most of the anons here are dicks?
>>No. 58913
>>58903

What amuses me here is that this description of sexuality is commonly associated with Asperger's. Something my shrink pointed out to me when I voiced curiosity on the matter.

So now I have this image of an Aspy Patchy.

Thanks Kahi/Chibi, I'm not going to be able to stop snickering about this all day. I blame all the weird looks on you.
>>No. 58914
>>58913

Really? It seems to me like she's just asexual.
>>No. 58915
>>58912

You mean on THP?

...I'll leave you to form your own opinion on that. The best analogy I can think of is that THP is kinda like that cool old man who is a great guy most of the time, but if you break some of his rules (Like, I don't know, standing on his lawn or not using a coaster with your drinks or something. It's an analogy, it doesn't need to be perfect), he'll start cussing you out and throwing the silverware. You'll find that as long as you follow the rules on the THP home page and guidelines posted by >>58909 that everyone is pretty laid-back.

I encourage everyone who hasn't read the guidelines to go read them now. It won't take long and adhering to them will make everything that much easier. I really don't want have to read any more vitriolic posts about this stuff.

Oh, and you're encouraged to sage your posts when they're not votes, updates or discussion directly related to the update. Some people do so even with the latter just to be safe.

>>58913

The above goes for you too.

But you're right, Patchy does seem to fit most of the symptoms, doesn't she?
>>No. 58916
File 137920488762.jpg - (119.17KB, 496x701, Unrelated_Grim_Reminder.jpg) [iqdb]
58916
This will be a problem.

Not for classes, of course. By their very nature, there is only one acceptable conversation to be held during that timeframe and that is your lecture to the class as a whole or individuals, and you're allowed to hush up other bits of irrelevant chatter.

On a basis of theoretical equals, not only can you not threaten punishment if the extra conversations do not cease, but attempting to order people to be silent would be very rude and doubtless... well, not immediately make enemies, perhaps, but certainly be the first step on a road of mutual unpleasantness.

Instead you mutter something about Kepler's Equation, which they don't seem to initially understand until someone brings up the Entwhistle theorem, which is in no minced words the exact same thing, but then you suppose that the 'Wizarding' wireless radio was not in point of fact invented from whole cloth by-

"In any case, it occurs to me that I have only just sufficient time, at this point, to apply the most standard comprehensive tests to these samples if I wish to thereafter eat anything before retiring for the night." Severus drawls, clearly not intending to stay and enjoy victory for too long.

And then your most immediate measure for plan B, a conversational shield and armor of some sort, turns and walks out of the room without so much as a word excusing himself, or any manner of polite goodbye.

The conversation twists a bit, now including Sprout mentioning the lunar cycle's effects on certain flowering blooms, and bringing you in on a third front of social engagement, while the other two both follow the course of discussion you've suggested and, having assured themselves of your understanding of the existence of both stars and higher maths, continue those conversations as well. Individually.

You feel a little bit like you're starting to drown in words, and glance around the room looking for a replacement-Severus. There's a gathering across the room, Hooch and Trelawney and the Grubbly-Plank substitute, though they're too far off to reliably drag into things. People that are...

Flitwick pats your hip consolingly.

"We'll discuss duel arrangements another time." He offers, something similar enough to be mistaken for an apology in his tone. "But I'm suddenly reminded that I promised to go have a word with someone after this meeting was finished. .... Cheerio."

And then the miserable wretch just walks out.

Well, it could be worse, you're still managing to balance these two conversations. Three conversations. Usually just two at a time, though, even if they keep switching off with each other to keep you deliberately confused and disoriented, scrabbling for which sentences you're supposed to be using for what conversations.

Burbage has been quiet, though. Too quiet. For too long. As you realize only too late, this is simply because she has been biding her time, waiting patiently for your defenses to wear down before striking a critical blow.

"You mentioned a scientist, madame? But that this was some time ago? I hope you don't mind if I should inquire now about your current situation, regarding.....?"

Conversations slow, and eyes filled with gleaming interest of one degree or another turn to fix upon you, leaving you somehow feeling much the same as a little mouse encircled by a dozen hawks.

.... It is time for plan C.

In the face of a battle that you cannot win, and in which fighting would only serve to spread suffering and defeat through your forces, retreat is not only one of the available options but even advisable as the correct path to take.

".... if you will excuse me, I'm afraid I am discovering, in the wake of this tea, a rather pressing need to locate the, ahem, facilities..." You manage to say, keeping just enough propriety about yourself that you won't be embarrassed much by running away like this.

Like all the best of misdirections, it even has the benefit of being true when all is said and done. Though of course you could probably have held out for some time further.

This, however, saves you from having to. You're willing to consider that a job well done at this point.

Several minutes later, shortly after flushing and in the middle of washing your hands, a furious shriek arises from behind you and the screaming specter of a dead teenager in the school uniform lurches out of the floor.

You give this a moment of due consideration, then shut off the tap. Interesting, if unusual. Aren't the students not supposed to be here yet? Though you suppose parents might be less than thrilled to have a child still hanging about and complaining after their untimely demise. Possibly some sort of exception to the rules.

-----

[ ] What do you do?
>>No. 58917
[x] Give the girl an A for effort, but explain to her that Murasa pulls off the dead shrieking ghost thing a whole lot better, then head home and check on important things.
-[x] Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse, maybe with a little demonstration as to why ignoring us would be a bad idea.
>>No. 58918
>>58916

[x] You are no shrine maiden, but dealing with spirits and ghosts...thre should be something you could no, right? If not exorcising, then at least binding the spirit to something, instead of allow it so continue in eternal torment.
>>No. 58919
[X] Inform the girl you expect her to be on time for class, and certainly a great deal quieter, then.
[X] If necessary, stick the girl in a homunculous body, or a golem like the Titans.
>>No. 58920
File 137920726219.jpg - (197.06KB, 850x600, sample-1526836a67340461778e86cfe00c4825.jpg) [iqdb]
58920
[X] Give the girl an A for effort, but explain to her that Murasa pulls off the dead shrieking ghost thing a whole lot better, then head home and check on important things.
- - [X] Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse, maybe with a little demonstration as to why ignoring us would be a bad idea.
>>No. 58922
[X] No, wait, how can she even be a student if she has no body to hold a wand like these wizards favor?
[X] Ask if she really has nothing better to do than ambush people in the toilets.

Let's not have a brainfart just for lulz... And hey, if we could make a ghost stronger, we could use her in keeping students in line or something?

Gotta beat just hanging there.
>>No. 58923
[x] Give the girl an A for effort, but explain to her that Murasa pulls off the dead shrieking ghost thing a whole lot better, then head home and check on important things.
-[x] Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse, maybe with a little demonstration as to why ignoring us would be a bad idea.

Lazy poltergeist.
>>No. 58924
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.

If being dead for a few millenia isn't enough excuse for a giant to not serve us, then being dead for likely no more than a few decades should not be sufficient excuse to miss class.
>>No. 58925
[X] Give the girl an A for effort, but explain to her that Murasa pulls off the dead shrieking ghost thing a whole lot better, then head home and check on important things.
- - [X] Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse, maybe with a little demonstration as to why ignoring us would be a bad idea.
>>No. 58926
>>58924

I second this.
>>No. 58927
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.

Oh God, best response.

Also, I'm liking Socially Awkward Patchy.
>>No. 58928
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.

Holy crap...now that you mention it, she never did graduate...so her ghostly behind better be on time for class.
>>No. 58930
First day on the job and already engaging in watersports with a student. We better hope Aya doesn't get wind of this.
>>No. 58931
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.
>>No. 58933
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.
>>No. 58938
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.

Hee.
>>No. 58939
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.
--[x]Explain to her that Murasa pulls off the dead shrieking ghost thing a whole lot better.
>>No. 58940
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that being trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.


Even if she can't finish the practical courses, she has all the time in the world to learn theory. She could become a livinganimate encyclopedia of knowledge and actually be useful unlike the House ghosts.

Besides, she really needs to get over herself. Spending 20 years moping just because she's dead.
Murasa does the ghost schtick better, while also being captain of a palanquin ship. The Prismriver Sisters have their own, very succesful, band. Yuyuko is the rules, and thus administrator, of an entire realm. (Although she mostly just lazes around and/or eats instead of actually, y'know, administrating anything, so maybe she's not the best role model for Myrtle.)
We also know (of) several other people who doesn't let something as silly as death get in their way. (Lunarian immortals, a zombie or two, a certain self-proclaimed evil spirit, every fairy ever...)
>>No. 58942
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.
--[x]Explain to her that Murasa pulls off the dead shrieking ghost thing a whole lot better.
--[x]Make a note to set aside a homunculus for her use.
>>No. 58943
[x] Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
- [x] Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that being trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
- [x] Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.

This will do.
>>No. 58945
[x] Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
- [x] Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that being trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
- [x] Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.
>>No. 58950
[x] Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
- [x] Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that being trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
- [x] Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.
--[x]Make a note to set aside a homunculus for her use, if necessary.
-
>>No. 58953
[x]Commend the girl for her studiousness, arriving to school earlier than all the rest.
-[x]Inform her while leaving that you expect her to be in class on time and that trapped in the bathroom is not an acceptable excuse.
-[x]Nor is lacking a body, or being dead.
>>No. 58954
File 137936598259.jpg - (517.22KB, 888x1041, moaning_myrtle_by_prydester-d4m932v.jpg) [iqdb]
58954
..... Well, either way, you don't recall anyone on the roster as being listed deceased. Which might mean something, or might not. But the uniform seems like evidence enough.

You tune out the actual words of the shrieking dead girl, relieved to be back on familiar ground. You're no shrine maiden or exorcist, of course. Sealing is out, at least without several hours available to leaf through tomes to find the exact means to do so: hardly an ideal time frame for this when you're being yelled at right now.

From what you have available... there's options, of course. Magic is magic and magic affects magic, often in curious or fascinating ways even beyond the obvious ones, and so you could probably drive off or destroy a ghost if pressed. This is a student, though, so destruction is probably out of the question.

There's possibly more that can be done, though summoning usually and nearly always requires tacit or implicit acceptance of the summons in some way, and elementalism is... in your personal assortment, six times out of seven fairly direct. The five earthly elements being, quite obviously, what they are, and of the two heavenly ones... holy fires of the sun are actually still very direct when it comes down to it, where the mystic and arcane energies of the maddening lunar sphere are far more subtle and diverse in its many ways. Not incorrect to call them both 'fire and water, only more so' to a great degree, but at the same time that's not exactly the case at all.

You could probably work out something to do with the Moon, here, if you felt like spending the time throwing lunar energies about to see what works. The Moon is helpful that way. It wants to do things, and you often just nudge it along, even if the first few results aren't really anything like what you want or had planned for. .... The Sun wants to do things as well, when all's told, except that the sun isn't really the most imaginative of elements and so 'do things' tends to pretty uniformly translate into 'burn things into purified and sacred ash with the searing and holy flame of the sun itself'.

Which won't do, of course, none of it will do.

Perhaps you could stick her in a spare homunculus, you have a few lying about, except you don't really feel the need. You can think of a solid half dozen ghosts that get along perfectly fine without such ornamentation. ... Well, no, you suppose the half-ghost doesn't completely count. Five and a half, maybe. Probably more if you feel like thinking more deeply about it, or consulting some sort of a census.

In any case, unacceptable. You'll probably have your fill of attacking students through the year, but this is neither the time nor the place.

Instead, you quietly judge, waiting for a spare moment.

".... I suppose you get a point for arriving in advance of schedule. Still, while the shrieking is an acceptable effort, you've hardly taken any care for your appearance and there is no additional effort involved."

Behind the still and transparent figure, one of the toilets gurgles unpleasantly and then vomits up a bit of water to splash across the floor. Thankfully, it was not the one which was used, though there is hardly much difference in the end.

"There is barely any additional effort involved, and what there is was sad, paltry, and somewhat pathetic." You correct yourself. "I can grade this as acceptable, if only barely, for targeting a place where most would feel paradoxically both vulnerable and entirely secure, but ghastly apparitions that actually put effort into this sort of thing would weep at the general ineptitude involved here."

".... You. I? what." The ghost stumbles, verbally.

"In any case-"

"No!" She snaps, interrupting you very rudely. "You... you used my toilet! There I was, just relaxing in the U-bend, and above me I hear someone flushing and then water goes through me. Can you imagine how... eurgh. I thought I was going to die of humiliation!"

"You're already dead." You helpfully point out.

"Not. The. Point."

"Also, I refuse to accept responsibility or apologize for your lack of forethought regarding peaceful resting conditions. I fail to see how your choices are in any way wise, without some level of intrinsic-"

"Lack of forethought, nobody uses this toilet, I've spent years making sure everyone knows not to try, so that using this bathroom does not register as a Thing that can be Done-"

.... Well, the obvious question there is 'why', but... no, you know? You don't care. You really don't actually care about any of the possibilities you can imagine. The best situation is that she died here somehow, which is morbid to begin with, and it all just goes downhill from there.

You slap the little chit instead.

Well, attempt to, anyway. Your hand going right through her head with no resistance causes concern, there, and leaves her sneering. Annoyed, you instead draw up just a touch of Lunar energies and pinch the ghost's ear, drawing her head down with a screech filled with both gobsmacked surprise, pain, and surprise at being in pain that mingles into a fascinating melody.

"I don't care." You say, flatly. "But I will expect you to be on time for classes."

"You wh-? I'm dead and I can't hold a wand, what-"

"That sounds like something that is in no way my problem. Besides." You wave a hand pointedly at the water even now gushing its way out of the pipes in the wake of her motion. "You clearly leave some impact, in at least a physical sense. You're just not trying hard enough. Or have you really put any effort into anything at all, since your passing?"

You give the ear a little twist, and the ghost lets out a short and high-pitched keening noise.

"Well, I can tell you now that I won't be leaving you to slack off just because you are no longer among the living. Attendance of my classes is mandatory. A little thing like being dead is no excuse, child."

You release the ear and the ghost slinks back a floating not-step, eyes suddenly confused and wary.

Doubtless prior instructors had considered 'being dead' an acceptable enough excuse, and so she wasn't sure how to cope with the change of momentum, with all the inertia of sulking in the toilets already in place.

----

[ ] What do you do?
>>No. 58955
[x] Our work here is done, it's not like we don't know where to find her if she doesn't show up.
-[x] Leave and head home to get more things squared away before classes start.
>>No. 58957
M-magnificent.

Suggesting this:

[x] In your spare time, consider how to ritualistically burn a wand such that it becomes a Ghost Wand. They do things like that in most Eastern funerals, don't they?

(Because not having a wand is no excuse when you can very well acquire a wand- it's just a poor showing of research skill and academic effort)

Also, if Mima could do it, then we can probably figure out a way to, too.
>>No. 58958
[x] Ask what year she is in, and inform her of the classes location and time and the starting week. Remind her not to be late.
-[x] Also remind her to clean this mess up, or house points will be deducted.
[x] Take a moment to calm yourself down and return to peace with yourself. No need to rush, encountering the ghost is a valid excuse for a delay should you be pressed.
-[x] Go back to the meeting and resume any important conversations that you have postponed on your own terms.
>>No. 58960
[x] Ask what year she is in, and inform her of the classes location and time and the starting week. Remind her not to be late.
[x] Make a mental note to research a bit what ghosts can do. As much as this is her problem, you need something to give her as homework or to study, as a teacher.
[x] Take a moment to calm yourself down and return to peace with yourself. No need to rush, encountering the ghost is a valid excuse for a delay should you be pressed.
-[x] Go back to the meeting and resume any important conversations that you have postponed on your own terms.
>>No. 58961
>>58958
>>58960

Patchy doesn't know about house points yet.
>>No. 58962
>>58961
Actually, she does, but not the details.

Also, >>58960 does not mention House points at all.
>>No. 58967
[x] Our work here is done, it's not like we don't know where to find her if she doesn't show up.
-[x] Leave and head home to get more things squared away before classes start.

And where done
>>No. 58968
[x] Ask what year she is in, and inform her of the classes location and time and the starting week. Remind her not to be late.
[x] Make a mental note to research a bit what ghosts can do. As much as this is her problem, you need something to give her as homework or to study, as a teacher.
[x] Take a moment to calm yourself down and return to peace with yourself. No need to rush, encountering the ghost is a valid excuse for a delay should you be pressed.
-[x] Go back to the meeting and resume any important conversations that you have postponed on your own terms.

I don't think she gets to study ghosts often.
>>No. 58971
[x] Ask what year she is in, and inform her of the classes location and time and the starting week. Remind her not to be late.
[x] Make a mental note to research a bit what ghosts can do. As much as this is her problem, you need something to give her as homework or to study, as a teacher.
[x] Leave and head home to get more things squared away before classes start.

I see no reason to return to the highly unpleasant conversation that we just barely managed to escape with our headache at nonlethal levels.
>>No. 58972
[x] Ask what year she is in, and inform her of the classes location and time and the starting week. Remind her not to be late.
[x] Make a mental note to research a bit what ghosts can do. As much as this is her problem, you need something to give her as homework or to study, as a teacher.
[X] The quidditch match is tomorrow, right? Let's go see if Tewi has some free time.
>>No. 58978
[x] Ask what year she is in, and inform her of the classes location and time and the starting week. Remind her not to be late.
[x] Make a mental note to research a bit what ghosts can do. As much as this is her problem, you need something to give her as homework or to study, as a teacher.
[X] The quidditch match is tomorrow, right? Let's go see if Tewi has some free time.


I just realized. If we bring Tewi to the match, she will be on the same landmass as the Weasley twins. (And if I remember correctly, they will be at the game too.)
They are talented amateurs, for sure, but imagine what would happen were they to get a chance to learn from a master...
>>No. 58979
[x] Ask what year she is in, and inform her of the classes location and time and the starting week. Remind her not to be late.
[x] Make a mental note to research a bit what ghosts can do. As much as this is her problem, you need something to give her as homework or to study, as a teacher.
[X] The quidditch match is tomorrow, right? Let's go see if Tewi has some free time.
>>No. 58980
Moon magic is cool. We should decapitate nearly headless Nick with a dinner knife later.
>>No. 58993
Quidditch is NOT tomorrow.

The school year hasn't even STARTED yet.

The first match Gryff v Slyth isn't until...what, October?
>>No. 58995
>>58993
...Did you even read the latest updates? It's not a school match.
>>No. 59001
>>58993
Snape gave us tickets to a match, it's not at the school, the school year schedule is irrelevant.
>>No. 59004
[metaknowledge]Be careful Patchy, there's gotta be some reason Snape wants all the teachers gathers in one place outside the protection of Hogwarts.[/metaknowledge]
>>No. 59007
>>59004
Or it's just an excuse to have us experience one of the more dramatic scenes of the book, instead of just hearing it second hand.
>>No. 59010
[x] Ask what year she is in, and inform her of the classes location and time and the starting week. Remind her not to be late.
[x] Make a mental note to research a bit what ghosts can do. As much as this is her problem, you need something to give her as homework or to study, as a teacher.
[x] Leave and head home to get more things squared away before classes start.

looks like the most balanced option.
>>No. 59011
>>59007
I'm so glad I don't even know what you're talking about (the only quidditch event I remember is the 1994 finals) It makes me feel more anticipation for the next update.
>>No. 59012
>>59011
I only remembered it because I happened to have randomly seen the movie on TV a few months ago.
Otherwise I'd be in the dark too.
But yeah, I won't say anything so enjoy your anticipation.
>>No. 59015
Despite searching, I find nothing. Should I assume it's not that important, just surprising? Like, Cannons winning?
>>No. 59017
>>59015
I may be reading a story about the exploits of a centuries old anemic magician born out of the mind of a drunk Japanese while she plans to start teaching magic in another completely different fantasy universe, but there are things I can't even pretend to believe.
This is one of them.
>>No. 59018
[x] Ask what year she is in, and inform her of the classes location and time and the starting week. Remind her not to be late.
[x] Make a mental note to research a bit what ghosts can do. As much as this is her problem, you need something to give her as homework or to study, as a teacher.
[x] Leave and head home to get more things squared away before classes start.
>>No. 59020
Why do we care about the ghost girl OR quidditch? Have we even investigated their (inferior) library yet?
>>No. 59027
File 137956114642.png - (526.62KB, 633x463, Siblings_At_Play.png) [iqdb]
59027
Come to think of it, you haven't encountered ghosts, much.

You'll have to ask Sakuya a bit about what she found in Hakugyokurou, you recall that she ended up there at some point during that whole extended winter fiasco. Maybe she'll have seen Yuyuko do something interesting.

.... well, or not, actually. As far as the social contract involved with being an instructor goes, you have to care about the students. Or failing that, sufficiently pretend or present an adequately sufficient illusion vis a vis the existence of fondness and caring such that people will allow themselves to be misled into believing that such tender feelings actually exist on your part. So, enough reason to shove a student into performance and to apply penalties for failure, but not really enough to require you to go beyond that to even the minimal effort of personal investigation unless you choose to do so for your own reasons.

... The egyptians would habitually have other living servants and pets eviscerated and mummified to join them in the travel to the underworld, and several other religions-No. This train of thought sounds like exactly the sort of thing that will lead directly to you achieving only the most minimally interesting results in exchange for being barred from countries on pain of being drawn and quartered. You don't care that much.

It's going to stick in your mind now, though. Like music you hate but that nevertheless has an unusually hypnotizing background tune that makes it stick in your mind for days. Damn it.

You can try to divert your attention though, at least.

"I'd guage you... hm, look about the age of fourth or fifth year."

"I died at the end of my fourth." The ghost-child says, slowly.

"Repeating that would be a waste of time, then: Fifth it is. Classes start monday afternoon, just before dinner. I'm sure you're capable of locating a schedule. Excuse me."

...... No, it's still in your head. Maybe if you sacrifically burned things in the right way. There's lots of cultures that involve fire in their funerary rites. Vikings, for example, those are fore-runners for a good respectable pyre. On a longboat, drifting out to sea. You think, it's been a while since you studied vikings in anything beyond the most casual depth.

Hm, how to go about ritually killing an object so that the end result is a spectral ghost-like form of that object? It could prove tricky.

You give a glance back into the meeting room as you stroll around the castle. It is, by now, mostly empty. The caretaker is mopping and grumbling about the mess left all over the table. .... You decide to not get involved, since a lot of the mess is down to you leaving gifts behind. Wrappings and such and bits left over.

Well, on the plus side, this counts as a business-oriented meeting in which only one person involuntarily expelled foul internal fluids in the middle of it and, most critically important, this person was not you.

Sure, having all personal mess and bile remain inside where it belongs is the ideal sort of situation for this kind of things, but as far as it goes? You'll take what you can get.

..... Maybe if you bribed Yuyuko to do her whole invitation-to-suicide thing you have heard about. Does that actually work on objects that can't actually kill themselves, though? Well, for that matter, does it really work at all, on anything? You can't recall any actual sources citing this as having happened, so it could well be one of those things.

When it comes down to it, the only way to really have something experience death and thus be available for undeath is for it to have been alive at some point in the first place.

Therefore, in order to properly kill a wand and raise its spirit as a ghost, it must first be alive to kill. This gets somewhat tricky. Animate constructs, such as golems of any sort, aren't really 'alive' by their very nature, they are just constructs moving in accordance with the will of a master. This holds true even if it is a golem crafted from flesh rather than things less prone to decomposition and unpleasant internal surprises, and while Homunculi aren't exactly the same thing, being made of a different nature, they are still in the end more along the line of what could be called 'soulless flesh puppets' even if they are technically obliged to eat, breathe, drink, and dispose of waste in the way golems don't really have to. Technically alive, but at the same time...

.... Hrm.

Ah!

Tsukumogami. The spirits of items that come to life after one hundred years. In many respects, they are both 'alive' and 'ghosts', despite having never been alive before their existence to die and become undead, it... it's sort of a tricky state to quantify.

And even for it being stuck in your head, you're getting far too focused on this little outcropping of minutiae. It's starting to concern you a bit. With your thoughts unfocusing and spiralling in unwanted and unplanned directions like this.....

You pause outside of the little tower and hold a hand to your forehead.

Well.

Fever.

Yes, that would do it, even with a little one. There you go. You should have a cold bath and some sort of fever reducing tea, there are entire barrels of suitable blends throughout the mansion.

... A short time after this, and dripping, you contemplate the whole 'Quidditch' thing.

You are not, when it comes down to it, the greatest sports fan available. Though, to be fair, there isn't really so much in the way of 'sports' around gensokyo beyond Danmaku duels, which...

Actually you get pretty into those.

You guess you could call yourself a sports fan, under those constraints.

Still, that aside, there's.... Soccer, actually, now that you think about it? Soccer is pretty fun from time to time to watch, though. Actually you've played soccer. Sometimes. On good days. You can even remember, to some degree, how the matches went down through all of the concussions. Some of it has to have been wrong, though, because you remember at one point Reimu and Marisa doing a combination attack against goalkeepers.... Reimu and Marisa. Though to be fair, there are lots of purest-feces explanations for that if you weren't seeing double or hallucinating from cranial trauma, so you can't really be sure. You were pretty certain that Lilies White and Black were the same fairy in different clothes, too, but you also recall them clearly as goalkeepers of opposing teams at another match.... you don't really get involved with the details of fairies, though. It's usually best not to.

You can think of better ways to spend a few hours, in any case, but when the mansion gets on a serious Get Patchouli Involved with Things kick it... can usually prove to involve less suffering on your part to just give up and agree to get swept up in the spirit of competition and superiority and just play the damn game early on than to struggle against it for days and then end up catching a soccer ball to the head anyway. The sooner you give up and do it, the sooner you get to take the neck brace off and bring it up as one more point of evidence, sort of thing.

It doesn't take long. Eirin is an absurdly good medical doctor. It takes a lot longer to prepare the ball, really.

Much longer than by far. It's actually excruciatingly difficult to apply magic in such a way as to make the ball totally invulnerable to harm for long enough for a game to happen and yet somehow function as a normal soccer ball, but that's one of the most important preparation steps, otherwise you could bring in a thousand balls and the game would still end with no points scored and a lot of garbage strewn across the field. You usually have to cheat a bit and work with Sakuya to freeze its general 'condition' in a point of time before the match, and then release it well after to let all the horrible results ensue all at once. Others probably have similar tricks to pull.

In any case, not at all relevant. You need to focus your mind on what you're going to do with these tickets.

.... You could sell them, of course, but it seems like a bit of a waste when you aren't really in any way ever going to be hurting for money considering that you can manufacture precious stones and metals with the simple expenditure of willpower. You're a little interested in the sport, after all. It involves flying, somewhere, you understand, and so it's almost certain to be somehow introduced once Yukari catches wind of it. Better to get ahead of the competition: By introducing it yourself, if you decide you don't like the idea of being forced to play on the team, you can instead just use the goodwill from introducing the new amusement to keep yourself out of it.

Commentator at most. That shopkeeper ended up being the go-to soccer commentator, and so he is never expected to get concussions or bruise his internal organs. Playing.

Still, that leaves a second ticket.

-----

[ ] What do you do?
>>No. 59028
[x] Invite Tewi along.

Is there really any other choice?
>>No. 59029
I'd say Tewi or Marisa are the only ones likely to care that we also have anything invested in. Given we shouldn't string Marisa along, Tewi is probably the smarter answer. Also, having a youkai with us near english wizards should be amusing.

[x] Offer the second ticket to Tewi.
>>No. 59030
[x] Invite Tewi.
>>No. 59031
Oh dear gods the Myrtle scene was great, I can't wait to see how well that turns out.

Tracking down a wand tsukomogami is, sadly, probably still more trouble than it's worth. If Myrtle can learn to pick things up, though, we could suggest a Moon-element wand...

(Ooh, idea: Small gods/little gods. Ya-o-yorozu-no-kami and all that. I wonder if you could summon "the small god of that particular wand" or something?)
>>No. 59032
[X] Attend the event. Explain to whoever listens that it could stand to be more challenging. Maybe a few thousand bludgers instead of two. And the Chasers don't really seem to be trying to hit anyone at all. You're not sure what the point of them is. Oh, except that one fellow, he's got the right attitude, elbow to the back of the head - hey, why the penalty shot! What game were the refs watching!
>>No. 59036
[x] Invite Tewi
[x] Let's not >>59032
>>No. 59037
[x] Offer the second ticket to Tewi.
Obviously
>>No. 59039
[x] Offer the second ticket to Tewi.
[x] Make sure that neither she nor Rumia interfere with the match. At least, not significantly.
>>No. 59040
[x] Invite Tewi.
>>No. 59042
[x] Offer the second ticket to Tewi.
[x] Make sure that neither she nor Rumia interfere with the match. At least, not significantly.
>>No. 59043
[x] Offer the second ticket to Tewi.

Do we care if she or Rumia interfere?

I suppose being associated with them would be bad for our image if they got caught messing with the game.
>>No. 59046
>>59032
This. 1000s of bludgers. Concussions for the concussions god.

Also, love the inane internal rambling about everything.

MAybe Myryle would be able to use magic if she was made to posses a golem made of wood with wands in the place of hands.
>>No. 59047
[x] Offer the second ticket to Tewi.

While getting Marisa hooked on Quidditch would be fun, Tewi is just plain awesome and we need more Tewi.


>>59032
Eh, Patchouli doesn't seem like the kind of person who would like a sport to have more concussions, considering her opinions on Touhou Soccer.

>>59046
Are you suggesting turning an unloved and less than emotionally stable ghost into a magical Edward Scissorhands, which will no doubt lead to some horrible accident?
Because that sounds hilarious!
>>No. 59054
[X] Attend the event. Explain to whoever listens that it could stand to be more challenging. Maybe a few thousand bludgers instead of two. And the Chasers don't really seem to be trying to hit anyone at all. You're not sure what the point of them is. Oh, except that one fellow, he's got the right attitude, elbow to the back of the head - hey, why the penalty shot! What game were the refs watching!


Fun the WHOLE Family!!
>>No. 59067
File 137966180278.jpg - (179.50KB, 735x539, Situation_Unpleasant.jpg) [iqdb]
59067
..... You have options.

As far as social ties go, there are any number of ways that a small token of diplomatic capital like this could be spent. Strengthening ties, with either Remilia or her sister, who still makes you uncomfortable when times come and it's clear that she isn't keeping herself under quite as much control as she might. Offer Sakuya or Meiling opportunity to take a day to unwind: it's always wise to brace up ties with long-standing serving staff, and the gatekeeper would, if nothing else, appreciate the understanding that with some specific outliers that just crash through everything without hesitation or remorse.... those set aside, she actually performs her job very well, and in the end she is set less to keep everyone out, and more to keep out everyone that Remilia might not find interesting enough to deal with, personally.

It's just a shame that one of the ones strong enough to be 'interesting' has such sticky fingers.

In any case, that's several reasonable options right there. And speaking of 'sticky fingers'....

.... No. Not under any circumstances. You don't know how much the shrine maiden said was accurate, but if enough was that the forest witch might take it as more than it was? Unacceptable. You would feel uncomfortable even making social gestures to that puppeteer, or to a magician you do not know at all, extending a nicety like this to one that you already have bad blood with, especially when it could be misunderstood in any fashion? Out of the question.

The concept of bringing Koakuma doesn't bear a moments thought before it is utterly dismissed.

Then there was the spider. And to be fair, you might have been a little harsher than you normally are on hired assistance. Pushing during better moments of health to guage how far matters can be pressed in poorer days when you are shorter of temper, without sparking things into a fight that you might come off the worse for. It would not be out of the question to offer a small gesture of reconciliation here and there, so that it is not just Remilia's wine cellars that keep her appeased and satisfied with the current state of things. An interesting outing would certainly be a suitable gesture.

You take a moment to measure hats and make a small marking, before you return to a seat, drinking tea.

There are other options. Building up ties with individuals you are not so personally familiar with, but which may prove to be useful. First and foremost, the village schoolteacher. You don't know if Keine would take the time away from the village for such an outing, even if there are other lines of defense if something goes wrong or someone does something... particularly stupid. But another long-term instructor that you could... in the terms of academic students, borrow notes from in order to write your own thesis, as it were? She would be useful. There isn't any doubt, there. More, making little gestures here and there to improve matters in case a little request for assistance here, a moment of time there, in turn... she is probably the most likely available person that fits the bill for a lot of possible situations.

When it comes down to it, of course, you are not starved for choice when it comes to those who might be useful, or who might be worth the time to build ties. The child of Miare, the tengu, the kappa, any of a number of wandering Youkai.... usefulness and power, and danger, could not always be so easily measured by the talent and aesthetic capability to craft spell cards... the Eientei princess, of course, is out of bounds but it would be far from unwise to strengthen ties with Eirin, who prepares your medicine, and if you had the nerve to contemplate subverting the Yakumo's own shikigami, Ran.... no, never quite what could be called 'subverting', that sort of attempt could only end poorly, but... building bridges, there, where you might become more likely to get a word of warning about something unfortunate on its way, soon, or that it might be wise to add a bit more flash to the next lesson.

You can't, after all, keep a constant output of the most impressive spectacles you can manage all the time. Your stamina won't hold out, you won't be able to endure it. Your strengths are nowhere near 'endurance'. Even if you could, it's a matter of psychology: keep everything at a high-output, and those watching will adjust to the excitement, until it becomes mundane. Boring. And then you're standing on the edge of a very tall cliff, teetering as rocks crumble slowly beneath your feet, with nowhere to go but spiraling down.

No, even if you could, it wouldn't work to try to keep every single class as showy as you can manage the whole way through. An orchestra does not bellow at full blast throughout the concert. Often it is quite soft, so that the sudden crashing overtures are all the more startling and captivating for it. The same principle holds true here.

... If you could bring yourself to do so, such an invitation to Yukari herself might be a moment of interest worth not being able to use the ticket in a way that might lead to getting something back.

But no.

Above everything else, that woman makes you.... uncomfortable. In a number of ways. In one moment as whimsical and frivolous as any thoughtless fairy, jumping from this to that in mental jumpst that provoke insanity jus trying to understand them, and in the very next blink of an eye so utterly rational and impossibly sane beyond sanity that it hurts, with a cutting mind like diamonds filed down to a razor's edge. You can never be quite certain, no matter what, if everything she is doing is part of a larger scheme, a plot laid out and planned in perfect crystalline detail for every possible permutation of events for the next ten thousand moves in advance, or if behind the world's most fantastic poker face she is just making everything up as she goes along and then pretending that was the plan all along.

She is just so impossible, infuriating, that you think that going out of your way to get her more involved with your affairs deliberately might just spark actual physical pain and suffering on your part.


.....

In the end, consider as you might, there is one possibility that keeps coming to mind.

Tewi.

Ancient, as far as that matters, and clever. But not of her nature malicious or cruel. More importantly while what proclivities she has are generally harmless enough, practical jests and japes and harmless jokes which might frighten, as a deep pit set with spikes, but harm none in a land where anyone who might fall in one can stop themselves and fly back out, or at worst be escorted to a very nearby and very good surgeon.... she can set those instincts aside to focus on other matters.

You would certainly not attempt to invite Rumia, you think, who's hungers you cannot with surety say would not be cause for concern in the middle of such an outing. It may be safe, or it may not be. The last thing you need is to come across unexplained and unexplainable disappearances in your near vicinity. That won't do at all.

By comparison, while Tewi is youkai by nature, and so likely bears something like a physical need to give people the occasional startle, or jump... a trickster, but not an outright malicious being, or cruel.

More importantly, experienced and clever, which by their very nature translate to useful, even if you might not be immediately certain how. Even if only through the sense of personal connections made over a long period of time, and you have gotten the impression that the rabbit knows people in more than just Japan.

Even in the most immediate sense, while it might not be so direct as buttering Eirin up directly, building ties among Eientei is still a good thing, and calming a somewhat chaotic influence, or just giving Tewi something else to do somewhere else for a little while? That works, and just by association it strengthens social ties. And even if it isn't so direct as it might be, it also doesn't force Eirin to decide whether or not to rebuff the offer in favor of being call in case of emergencies, or reduce the clinic's efficiency by removing the main worker and student for a while.

Tewi then. Tewi it is. As it goes, there are worse options available, by far. By now, though.... there is a difference in time zones to consider. It is currently late. The invitation itself, now that you have decided, can wait until the morning.

For now, you must sleep.

-----

The day is Aug 31, 1 day to term.
It is Wednesday, day of Information and Water.
-- Yamame, Medicine Backlash -7
Your health level is 29/100. Today is not a good day. You have had worse days, to be fair. But today is not a good day.

-----

It is fortunate that the spider can tell things about illness, with little or no effort, in order to be where Things are Required.

Because that means that as your eyes snap open, from long practice involving suddenly waking up on the cusp of vomit-expulsion, the bucket is already there and waiting and you don't have to send out desperate mental flailings for Koakuma to fetch anything before the rug at the side of your bed needs to be replaced.

You are dripping with cold sweat, and your stomach is roiling as your head.... actually, head isn't so bad as far as pain goes. Dizzying nausea and vertigo from movement, but as long as you remain still that isn't much trouble. Which doesn't help when you have to lurch to splatter into a bucket, but you'll take what you can get, and if 'what you can get' is just your head not hurting very badly today, then that's fine.

.... Oh good, it's all red and bloody streaks in the bottom. Fantastic. That's just wondrous. Well, at least the first passing of expulsion over seems to have left you in a slightly better- no no, there it goes again[i]. Splendid.

"No offense? You kinda look like a corpse right now." the spider points out, thoughtfully.

Wondrous.

And you have plans that involve going [i]out
today, too. This always happens. On the plus side, 'out' did already involve 'Eientei'.

----

[ ] What do you do?
>>No. 59068
[x] Take your medicine.
[x] Thank the Spider for it's timely assistance.
[x] Get Cleaned up.
[x] Head to Eientei.
>>No. 59069
I honestly can't decide here. Patchy really drew a poor hand here. If she takes the medicine, perhaps she can get around to getting on with the day's events, and go on much as we have, following Eirin's instructions and taking our medicine.

On the other hand, forgoing the medicine and spending a day resting would probably improve her condition for if not the entire first week of the term, certainly the first day, and it isn't as if she had anything absolutely critical to do. Then again, currying favor with Tewi might give her a certain lucky health benefit for her first days as well, so I just can't make up my indecisive mind.
>>No. 59071
Wait.. is the game today?
We might be up for a trip to Eintei but are we up to that and watching a sporting event?
>>No. 59072
[x] Take medicine. This is the kind of day it was meant for.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.
[x] Get cleaned up before heading to Eientei.

While bringing the ticket to Tewi we can ask Eirin if she can cook up something for us that gives us a few hours of at least not vomiting our guts out so we can attend the match.
Of course we're only going because it is a necessary bonding with the other teachers, we'd never disregard our condition (and Eirin's constant badgering well-meaning and professional reminders to take better care of our health) just for fun.

I'm trying to remember how many days are left before school starts. If we at least have tomorrow off we can take the whole day for bed rest because we're likely to be feeling horrible after exerting ourselves in this condition. And promising to rest for an entire day would probably help appease Eirin too, since she's likely to be upset at us going off in this condition.

>>59071
The game is today. Which sucks.
>>No. 59074
[x] Take medicine. This is the kind of day it was meant for.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.
[x] Get cleaned up before heading to Eientei.

Ouch.
>>No. 59076
[x] Take medicine. This is the kind of day it was meant for.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.
[x] Get cleaned up before heading to Eientei.

This seems like a decent enough plan.

>>59072
I'm fairly sure that although the school term begins tomorrow, that classes don't begin for a few more days if I'm remembering the old threads correctly.
>>No. 59077
[x] Move to Entei for medical atention and bring the invitations.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.

[x] By your recent internal debate in whom to share the entrances with you realize that you have a LONG list of people you might want to get closer to.
-[x] Consider getting a gift from the outside to the following people:
-The Spider
-The Town Guardian
-The Shikigami
-The Shikigami's Shikigami
-The Doctor


Time to kill two moon rabbits with one trap. Or something like that.
Anyway, I think we should hold on the medicine before getting to Entei, just in case.
>>No. 59078
[x] Take medicine. This is the kind of day it was meant for.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.
[x] Get cleaned up before heading to Eientei.

Health of 29? That's some bad luck right there.

Current estimation of the Gaussian distribution for our HP with Yamame influence: µ = 56.27, σ = 12.02
Sample: 56, 69, 75, 70, 51, 44, 41, 64, 55, 58, 36

>>59077
While I like the idea of getting presents, today might not be the best time to go about that.
>>No. 59079
>>59077

Thanks, now I see Eirin in a blue police box.

[x] Move to Entei for medical atention and bring the invitations.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.

-[x] Consider getting a gift from the outside for Yamame.

I also suddenly realize that Yamame would have been a good target for the invitation and I completely overlooked her. Dammit. I want to see her screaming in rage at the design of the quidditch stands.
>>No. 59080
>>59079
We could still pick Yamame, since we haven't spoken to anyone we can still change our mind. On top of most likely enjoying it more then Tewi, imagine what today would have been like without her equalizing things.

[x] Take medicine. This is the kind of day it was meant for.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.
[x] Offer her the second ticket.
>>No. 59081
[x] Take medicine. This is the kind of day it was meant for.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.
[x] Offer her the second ticket.
>>No. 59082
[x]Call Koakuma, and have her get one of the golem bodies.
[x] Time for an experiment. The spider mentioned she could draw illness, into a body time to test what effects that has.
>>No. 59083
[x] Take medicine. This is the kind of day it was meant for.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.
[x] Get cleaned up before heading to Eientei.
>>No. 59088
>>59082
I remember her saying that only applies to infectious diseases, and Patchouli's disease isn't.
>>No. 59097
[x] Take medicine. This is the kind of day it was meant for.
[x] Thank Yamame for her timely assistance.
[x] Get cleaned up before heading to Eientei.

I'll stick with the original plan of Tewi. We're going to want a luck bonus the first day of school.
>>No. 59102
A word of caution, If we keep using the medicine without a single day to rest, then we are eventually going to have a day where we won't be able to do anything, even with the medicine.

And of course due to the intersection of Murphy's and Sod's laws, its going to be the most inconvenient day possible. So in the future we may want to give her a day to rest, or at least have a contingency plan. (Substitutes, anyone?)
>>No. 59105
>>59102
The medicine kickback only lasts a day per dose, skipping a day will only help the next day.
>>No. 59106
Well, it depends on how 'important' we regard this day.

Do we need to be fit and fitting for this day or could we get away with 'just watching and enjoying the show'?

I presume that patchy can still save herself from embarrasment if a sticky situation happens there.

Considering school starts the next day (and the extra health boost from no backlash is great) it might be worth your while to:

X Save up the medicine.

Provided (!!!) this doesn't create resistance. Maybe yamame or eirin would know, yet asking the latter would be bad tactics.
>>No. 59108
In light of having not realized the number of options we had for the last ticket, I think I want to go ahead and bring up the concern of how to properly tell disobedient Brits about how serious the Gensokyo doorway situation is.


Remember? That thing Yukari did to make our life hell? Why didn't we bring that up as leverage during the time-slots meeting to get the best time-slots for ourselves? I predict if we just let Albus say anyone who strays into the portals will die a painful death we are going to lose A LOT of students.
>>No. 59110
>>59108
Well, chances are that they won't really believe us without Albus to confirm it anyway.
>>No. 59111
>>59110
(hoping I saged properly)

Yeah, for the meeting I can see that it would have been unlikely to work. After the duel it should be easier to impress we aren't to be screwed with. The idea is just to keep the dumber students from zerging the portals. Dead students means the books we desire might be more difficult to acquire in a prompt fashion.
>>No. 59112
>>59108

The trick is making it not forbidden fruit, which is incredibly difficult when you can't just scare them (griffindors would take it as a challenge). The truth is right out for several reasons so we need a good enough story that'll actually repel students.

We could say it links to a dimension of nothing but sludge or something else equally boring and unpleasant, but then bullies throw people in there which isn't much better.

Another option is to say they lead to instant death, mystery is asking for explorers but a sufficient threat might sould keep most out, and your common bully won't want to kill people so the only threat are brave idiots and true enemies looking for some way to get rid of someone.

Another idea is to give out house points for those who find them and report them but remove them from people who enter them, it'll need to be a large amount and won't stop everyone but it would work to an extent.
>>No. 59114
Yukari will always do whatever she wants.
We should definitely reward good behaviour and punish those who try to enter the portals, but it's not our job to keep Yukari in line.
I'm not saying we're completely blameless in this, but Yukari's the real culprit here. And if Albus has grievance against her, Fawkes has a better chance of finding her anyway.
>>No. 59116
>>59114

Speaking of Fawkes, I still haven't given up on stealing him from Dumbledore's control. Instant teleportation that can bypass even Yukari's powers is pretty useful.

Also, I shudder to even think about how powerful a dose of phoenix tears would be in terms of Patchy's daily HP. Probably would put us somewhere around 90% for the day.
>>No. 59118
File 13798240163.jpg - (442.02KB, 820x1150, Grhg_mrntyoo.jpg) [iqdb]
59118
You manage to ask for medicine, or at least to gurgle words which can be interpreted to mean something similar, at least in a general phonetic sense. Then, between expulsions, you down the tincture. +9, health = 38/100

Well.

You feel quantifiably better, as far as that means anything. For the time being, you lurch to your feet, mumbling something approximating gratitude as you stagger to the bathroom.

The world is currently wobbling on its axis, seeming to be stuck between leaning about twenty degrees left and thirty degrees angled right, like an ocean cruising galleon on stormy and windswept seas. Walking in this condition would leave you stumbling and prat-falling as though you had partaken too deeply of foot-trodden ancient wines.

Fortunately you can fly.

So you fly to the bathroom instead, slowly, and don't really crash into any walls or doors at all, though there is a near miss when one opens right in front of you. A glower prompts the arising of a deathly shriek from one of the fairy maids, who goes pale and cold and falls over, foaming slightly at the mouth in unconsciousness, eyes wide and locked into staring dead ahead in a rictus of horror.

You... you think she might have had a little heart attack, just there.

She must be relatively new. They're jumpy sorts. Just plucked up from an appearance in one of the flower gardens, perhaps? No way to tell, really. Fairies come and go, driven by whims. Just as easily could have wandered in and wanted to explore, and got talked into working while she was here. Often how it goes, for the segment of the staff that frequently turns over, you understand.

There's a mirror in the bathroom.

You do look dead. An absolute minimum of three hours deceased, you judge awkwardly in the mirror. Deep shadows under your eyes, haggard, pale and drawn....

It will take a bit to get yourself presentable. A long, comfortable, steaming warm bath just to start, submerged up to your neck... You groan softly, as you start to relax.

Then you slip and before you realize it, you're beneath the water. It takes you a moment to realize this even after you open your eyes. Then it clicks, and you panic and thrash a little for the side, but it's not quite in reach. The bath is too big. Why did you go for the large baths? You can't reach, and your floundering, and drowning in the bath would be humiliating and breath bubbles out of your mouth, and... and...

.... and this is stupid.

You have. Magic.

You stop flailing around like an idiot and shove the water out of the way of your face, catching your breath and letting your heartbeat settle as you just float yourself back up to the water line.

Koakuma shuffles awkwardly in place. Obviously she appeared the second you started projecting mental alarm and stress. That does not at all explain the large camera in her hands, that she now doesn't appear quite certain what to do with.

".... What are you doing?" You have to ask, even knowing that you probably don't really want the answer.

Wings on her head twitch nervously, as she focuses first to the far left, on a bar of soap, then shifts her gaze slowly around until it lands upon a fluffy hand-towel to the far right. She carefully sucks on her upper lip, thinking deeply, before voicing any sort of words.

"I was.... came to...." She begins, slowly, giving herself as much time as she can to clamber out of a fairly obvious hole. "..... help?" She tries, hopefully. But not hopefully enough to disguise that it's more of a question than an affirmation. "To help. You? You have... trouble, when you're not feeling well, and I could... wash. Your back? ... Your front? I could scrub lots of things."

You wordlessly set the camera on fire.

"Oh sh-! Guh! Come on, there was still almost a full reel of empty film in-"

"Out." You demand, flatly.

It takes a while longer before you don't look like you just clawed your way tooth and nail out of your own grave. You have a lot of hair to handle and dry out, and by the end of it you still don't look well, but just unhealthy is by far an improvement from mistaken for dead. Better still, by this point the world only spins and whirls when you move too quickly. Above a calm and sedate walk.

So you look like you're hung over rather than dead drunk, you suppose. It still must be some kind of an improvement. And in a similar comparison between inebriation and the aftereffects thereof, you now only want to vomit, somewhat, but are not actually in the process of vomiting.

Well done. Excellent.

.... You think you'll have just a little bit of light food, some sort of fruit jumble, rather than a large breakfast.

Then you'll open the portal to......



... the portal is being stubborn today. Alright then. Just put a little more effort into it, kicking the door open rather than knocking politely and waiting, sort of a t-okay there it went. Right to.... Nnnnot the clinic, but instead to somewhere in the general area. Bamboo as far as the eye can see. Yes, you're definitely in the bamboo forest of the lost, you can confirm that as the portal groans softly and winks shut behind you, but your target-location sensitivity seems to be a liiiittle bit off, today.

Wunderbar. Magnifique.

----

[ ] What do you do now?
>>No. 59119
[x] Attempt to lock onto Tewi's location instead.
>>No. 59120
[X] Take a moment to stop and see if you're near any of the established routes to Eientei. If not, start preparations for navigating through the forest.

Hopefully someone will notice her before she keels over at least, and when they do it should be pretty clear why she's here.

(Now I'm imagining the rabbits finding Patchouli face down in a pool of rainbow liquid, with some sort of "OH NO! SHE'S DEAD!" joke when they turn her over...)
>>No. 59121
Just had a thought...what if Mokou's tears...have the same effect as phoenix tears?

[X] Summon Koakuma
[X] Isn't there some sort of forest hobo who guides people here?
[X] Summon a globe of water and attempt to scry the direction of Tewi, Eientei, or the hobo.

Should be easy as cake since it's the day of information and water.
>>No. 59122
[X] Remember the area has dinosaurs. Better get flying.
[X] Try to locate Eientei. Or try to get to it long enough for someone to come get you anyway.
>>No. 59123
[X] Summon Koakuma
[X] Isn't there some sort of forest hobo who guides people here?
[X] Summon a globe of water and attempt to scry the direction of Tewi, Eientei, or the hobo.
>>No. 59124
...might be good idea to put 'visit Hakurei shrine regularly'. Their hot springs would help now.

Anyway. Hmm. Why not fly to Eientei?
>>No. 59125
>>59124
Because it's hidden among the bamboo and flying above the canopy (if it can really be called that) would obscure any potential tracks that might lead us there?
This place is called the Forest of the Lost for a reason. If people could simply fly over it, they wouldn't be getting lost all the time.
In b4 'one does not simply fly into Mordor'.
>>No. 59126
>>59125
Actually, way back near the beginning, Patchouli mentioned that normally she does fly over the bamboo forest to Eientei.
>>No. 59127
[x]Mental Note to self: Devise a spell to remind you that you have magic when you forget.
[x]You. Have. Magic. Do not bumble through the forest like a commoner; you can fly over it.
>>No. 59128
>>59127
>>59127

Pretty sure the Bamboo Forest of the Lost doesn't work that way
>>No. 59129
>>59128
It does indeed work that way, as again, Patchouli said as much at the beginning of the quest. This time with the quote from thread #2.

"It's excusable, though, as you usually just fly over it all, directly to Eientei, and don't bother with the twisting, turning paths at all."
>>No. 59135
[x]Mental Note to self: Devise a spell to remind you that you have magic when you forget.
[x]You. Have. Magic. Do not bumble through the forest like a commoner; you can fly over it.
>>No. 59140
[x]Mental Note to self: Devise a spell to remind you that you have magic when you forget.
[x]You. Have. Magic. Do not bumble through the forest like a commoner; you can fly over it.
>>No. 59141
[x] Mental Note to self: Devise a spell to remind you that you have magic when you forget.
[x] You. Have. Magic. Do not bumble through the forest like a commoner; you can fly over it.
>>No. 59148
On days like this, we should not have to move about on or own.
We could have got someone to build us a palanquin and ordered fairies to carry us around.
>>No. 59149
>>59148
Or maybe a sufficiently powerful golem would work? It would be easier to control and make and we can make it fly or walk depending on how difficult it is to make them fly magically. We could even stick a mattress or throne on it if we wanted.
>>No. 59150
>> 59148

'A palanquin'

Patchouli, the slann mage-Priest.

In all seriousness:

[x] Use flight to locate Eientei and go there.

Iff this is not possible:

[y] Attract tewi's attention with a dinosaur arena (remember the dinosaurs?). Patchouli's bound to have Monster Summon or something alike, right? Then use her guidance to head to eientei. Do not offer Tewi the tickets before you have spoken with her superiors, and know this is an okay thing to do.
>>No. 59153
>>59150
>Tewi
>superiors
uh
>>No. 59156
>>59150

>'A palanquin'

PATCHAquin.

Get it? Get it?
>>No. 59160
>>59156
No, and sage non vote.
>>59150
Tewi doesn't have superiors, they just think they are.
>>No. 59161
>>59153

Yea pretty sure Tewi is the oldest youkai in Gensokyo. I doubt there are very many beings in Gensokyo who could force her to do something she didn't want to do.
>>No. 59162
>>59161
>>59160

No, Tewi does have a superior, one she does recognize. Eirin. She made a deal with Eirin, and has to protect Eientei from humans as a result, effectively putting her at Eirin's beck and call. Tewi even refers to Eirin as "Master"
>>No. 59170
>>59162
http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Tewi#Eirin_Yagokoro
>Thus Eirin is an ally, employer, and teacher to Tewi, and Tewi appropriately addresses her as Master
There when they actually need her help? Sure.
Beck and call? Hahaha no.
>>No. 59176
>>59170

I stand by it. Eirin is Tewi's superior, and if for some reason she set herself adamantly against it, and had a reason, I severely doubt Tewi would pick Patchy over Eirin.
>>No. 59180
>>59176
Why would Eirin even care about Tewi going to watch a match of Quiddich?
>>No. 59184
Who knows? It's an unlikely possibility.

Yet, haven't you ever experienced doing the same yourself and having it backfire, caused by the presumption that some figure of authority would give the okay on something upon which you would just do it because you consider asking permission a mere formality by simply thinking that there would be no reasonable reason of dismissal, and subsequently you find out that said person will deny any further execution of your plans purely out of spite? It's quite a common thing to happen.
>>No. 59186
>>59184

Is that kind of like how you refuse to sage out of spite?
>>No. 59189
She didn't have any problem with Tewi wandering all over Gensokyo and out into the real world with Patchy. I don't see why this time would be different.
>>No. 59207
[x] Mental Note to self: Devise a spell to remind you that you have magic when you forget.
[x] You. Have. Magic. Do not bumble through the forest like a commoner; you can fly over it.

I don't see why Eirin would want to mess with us... or Kaguya... well, other than that battle with Reisen, I suppose. Anyway, I suppose we can safely assume Tewi will be allowed to go with us.
>>No. 59219
File 138029692011.jpg - (225.73KB, 850x1133, Side_Effects_May_Include.jpg) [iqdb]
59219
Well, you guess you could scry after things today more easily, but when it comes down to it it's been a long time since you did that. You can easily locate the position of your homunculi and golems, but that is for the most part down to the fact that they continue to exist with an echo of the magic you used in their creation and sustained animation. You know where they are, without thinking. It's like sitting on a tower and looking to the unlit countryside, then peering through a spyglass to inspect the area where a signal fire just clearly lit up.

Scrying after something without that half-cheating shortcut of lighting it up with a flare like that?

.... You would have to look up the spells. Magic isn't like 'riding a bicycle' as far as the colloquialism goes, if you do not regularly practice then you do forget the details. And with errors in details, and trying to force the spell through without reference materials...

Sometimes, it works out well, far and away beyond what the actual spell should have done. More often, the results from even a small error can be catastrophic. In that sense, Magic is not really an art or a science, though it greatly resembles both in some respects.

There's a reason you don't assume you remember all the details of spells you haven't cast for a while. And that reason, when it comes down to it, is that you enjoy living and would like to continue doing so in a form that is not a disgusting aberration, and somewhere that id not a planet of half-digested and putrescent cheese. Bad things can happen when you botch the details, is what you mean, though there is some level of dramatic exaggeration.

The results probably won't be more than a messy explosion ruining between one and three limbs.

Still, better safe than bleeding. Heavily. To death. You know, you think you still have traces of a fever. Partially because of your wandering train of thought, but also partially because either you're flying much more slowly than you realize, or the bamboo goes up a lot further than you thought, because you should have gotten past the canopy after just a minute, and you've been flying up for nearly three now. And when you float back down to the ground, thoughtfully, you are there almost immediately. That doesn't match up.

The bamboo forest is doing this deliberately. That's the problem with stretches of land becoming partially cognizant of themselves, sometimes they get into moods.

No matter. This is what magic is for.

You kick a hole through the fabric of reality and step through, pausing to rest on the other end, well above the tallest tips of the bamboo and so outside of the lost forest's reach of influence. It will have to find someone else to play with today, you are not in any mood to accommodate it.

Eientei is just large and visible enough to tell where it is, from above. Now that, at least, there is no real effort put into concealing the existence of the place. Even so, it is by now tradition to brave the forest of the lost until you find a guide to show you the way, and so the high road is usually only taken by those whose current situation of injury is immediately dire, or regular visitors such as yourself, who simply don't have the time or patience to play along with tradition and the forest's whims every time.

And so you approach the clinic from above.

Eirin isn't available immediately, of course, something about splinting both of a man's legs, but she gives you a visible once-over when she does meet with you, a few minutes later.

"And you've taken your medicine, I hope?" she asks, pointedly. "Well, I suppose I have additional options."

A syringe filled with something that hurts just to look at appears in her hand.

"Of course, it won't be so pleasant as your current medication, which has no immediate side effects at all. This... unfortunately, involves a temporary complete degradation of the mental barrier between thought and speech, among other potential but uncertain side-effects, but I can safely guarantee that I have minimized the odds of intestinal liquification and expulsion to less than fifty percent. I haven't had the opportunity to test for unexpected reactions between this and your current medication, but I am quite sure that there will be nothing that is lethal outright. Not immediately. Naturally, I-"

"I'm not here about medicine, for once." You grumble.

Eirin's eyebrow slowly arches.

"Do tell."

You withdraw the tickets and set them deliberately on the counter.

"... I would like to inquire if Tewi is free. I have unexpectedly come into possession of these..."

"And she is your choice of companion?" Eirin questions, other eyebrow joining the first for a moment. "... I suppose there are worse options. Really, though, I'm quite surprised. Generally, when someone is here to ask after a rabbit, it's because they would like to try to arrange an omiai with little Udonge."

You grunt, unsurprised and uninterested.

"... Yes, I suppose that you aren't the sort that I could expect that from." Eirin muses. "Well, I'll ask one of the rabbits to pass a message. They'll know where she is, right now. And Udonge aside, they'll know how to pass the word along without it turning into a game of dodging the hunter."

She snaps her fingers, and a rabbit appears, meekly peering around the corner. You aren't sure if you recognize it, there are many. In any case, after a short exchange of whispers, she is out of sight and gone.

"Please, feel free to wait here. I can't really remain to entertain you, I have an appointment arriving shortly to pick up a package of Dream Pills. I've completed several new variations recently, and would like for them to be tested in addition to the original Butterfly Dream. I really have to handle that sort of discussion in person. Still.... I wonder if you really know what you're getting into?"

You frown, a little.

"I suppose it isn't really any of my business, at that. Excuse me. If you need something while you wait, call for Udonge. It shouldn't be too long before Tewi knows you are here, though."

Without further word, Eirin leaves, and you sink into one of the provided seats. Alone with your thoughts.

----

[ ] What now?
>>No. 59220
[x]You have time for some light rea...you forgot to bring a book.
[x]<b>You forgot your book.</b>
-[x]Consider the possibility of memory enhancing spells or magic items while waiting.
>>No. 59221
[X] Think about your current problem: You are going to go watch a match in a place that may likely be filled with people screaming. Loudly. How will you even be able to take it with your current health?
>>No. 59222
>>59221
I imagine that will be a bigger problem for Tewi.

Actually, wait a minute. Tewi is a luck token and a trickster...

How long will the match go before Tewi actually lets anyone get lucky enough to find the snitch?
>>No. 59223
[X] So how much, exactly, do you really know about your medical condition?
[X] Why, exactly, does luck, Hakurai hot springs, and disease manipulation play a part in your health?
[X] Perhaps we should finally shelf our youkai pride and schedule a full physical with the good doctor. New and improved medication/treatment options could only improve your state of being.
>>No. 59224
>>59221
Why can't we just conjure ear plugs?
>>No. 59225
>>59221
This is a fairly significant concern. We'll want to somehow magically armor ourselves up against the horrific press of humanity that is doubtless ahead of us, without being overly noticeable about it or impeding our entertainment or Tewi's, limited though those may be.

Dragging ourselves all the way out to take advantage of these tickets only to be overwhelmed by weakness and nausea at the antics of the crowd would be both unpleasant and undignified. Our reputation would also take a significant hit, which wouldn't matter so much except that it will doubtless make our job significantly harder if people think we're in any way weak or incapable.

Best to take steps in advance to avoid any easily-anticipated unpleasantness.
>>No. 59226
>>59225
And that's exactly why I made that vote.
>>No. 59232
[x] Nap.
>>No. 59236
[X] Do you know any spell that can cause a dampening effect on sound waves in such a way that everything (important) is still audible, yet soft, and which only applies to yourself? If not, now would be a good time to look it up in the library.
[X] Iff not, a good secondary option is to use & modify your 'Condensed Bubble' spell to be like that, something that should be fresh in your memory. It's been used in the SWR incident. The modification would be for it to be transparent and small, just your head should suffice.
>>No. 59237
>>59236
I'm pretty sure we used Moon magic that can create silence at one point. It's probably workable to just create quiet.
>>No. 59240
>>59237

It was when we silenced the kappa fixing the truck, and again when we were starting the Great Hat Experiment. Possibly we used the ability at other times as well, but I don't recall.
>>No. 59246
[x] Consider if you know any ways offhand to keep the press of humanity expected at the games to a respectable distance.
- [X] On second thought, it might be simpler to just float above them all.

Couldn't we just watch the whole thing through a portal? What do we even need tickets for?
>>No. 59251
[x] Nap.
>>No. 59257
[x] Nap.

You know what? A nap might just do Patchy some good. Not every day has to be a hundred miles an hour, you know?
>>No. 59258
[x] Nap.
I sure hope this helps.
>>No. 59263
[x] Nap.

We can always ask Tewi to grab our hand or something if someone starts talking to us while we are under silence.
>>No. 59266
>>59220
This sounds good.

Also, [X] Remind self to brush up on divination spells.
>>No. 59267
Upon reflection, napping when we're awaiting the response of a trickster and prank-playing youkai, while also in the waiting room of the doctor with big pointy needles and no respect for personal space, strikes me as unwise.
>>No. 59268
File 138056464474.jpg - (142.13KB, 850x547, sample-fb7ecf9e6210e10833a9547d0267e9ca.jpg) [iqdb]
59268
[x] Nap.
>>No. 59269
>>59267
Beggars can't be choosers. Besides, the potential for hilarity is too big.
>>No. 59270
>>59267
The risk-reward is in our favor just because of how bad of health we are in though

I highly doubt they would do anything malicious to a client/friend.
>>No. 59274
>>59270
Malicious? Of course not. Eirin's weird medicine is designed to help! With only a few negative consequences, probably! It is still in the testing stages, though.

That's okay, right Patchy?

...

Patchy says yes.
>>No. 59275
Could we please remain rational and not make decisions we will likely sorely regret later?

[X] You have lots of things to do. Spend your time more usefully. Like thinking of the things you will have to say in your first lesson(s), or how you will handle the quidditch match in your current state.
>>No. 59276
I'm pretty sure taking it easy when feeling under the weather IS a rather rational response.
>>No. 59277
>>59276
For a human maybe, I doubt it is for a Magician that's in another being's territory.

[X] You have lots of things to do. Spend your time more usefully. Like thinking of the things you will have to say in your first lesson(s), or how you will handle the quidditch match in your current state.
>>No. 59278
Thinking hard like that with our current health?

That will just make her headache worse...
>>No. 59280
Magicians are not strictly that much different from a Human

I mean Patchy may be a natural born Magician, but her body's health is in worse shape than a human.

Biologically I can't see them being that different either, so logically rest does not sound like a bad idea.

if it can raise her health a little it should be done, Even just resting your eyes and meditating for a minute is bettering than trying to force hard-thought when you feel like shit.
>>No. 59282
File 13806712045.jpg - (381.19KB, 680x961, wakey.jpg) [iqdb]
59282
Well, you could always read. For entertainment, and not for specific utility purposes or research. You don't recall, not all of your clothes have a book inside a pocket, waiting for a dull moment or the need for a bludgeon, but you think....

Yes, a thick rectangle there. Alright then. You're fairly sure that this one is 'A study of Governmental Procedure and Societal Change of the Han Dynasty; with focus given to the effects provoked by the development of the Silk Road'. A little dryer than is usually suitable for entertainment, but still....

.... Only that isn't what comes out of your pocket.

Instead, you find yourself looking at a novel titled 'I knocked up Satan's Daughter', displaying a suitably gravid infernal slattern of some nature as illustration. Wordlessly you shove it back into the pocket, consciously deciding to ignore its existence from this point forward.

Koakuma was in the bathroom, wasn't she? Koakuma is in a playful mood again, isn't she. You are in no temperament for this manner of nonsense.

No book then.

You'll entertain yourself with idle thought.

You don't really look foward to all the uncultured screaming sure to come. Naturally, there are ways around such things, but how not to be blatant about it? You could take a little while to enchant something with an aura of silence. You would have to look up the specifics, normally, but you usually use lunar elemental energies in similar enough ways that you can approximate the effect by just shoving the right sort into an item and there is even a minimal chance of it resulting in a sanity-fraying explosion that does no damage whatsoever to the physical form. Almost guaranteed not to, in fact. Though when it comes down to it, no spell is really one hundred percent certain, it's just that the odds can become so long against something going wrong that they are effectively guaranteed. There's always an astronomically far-off chance that someone is going to get turned into a newt.

That you don't want turned into a newt, you mean.

Still.

Possibly preparing a sphere of water to... blatant, and there would be cause for concern about limited air supplies. And puncturing the bubble to get fresh air inside would both expose you to the noise and at the same time run a significant probability of accidentally destroying the bubble outright. All issues which remain present in any sort of bubble, from a simple space of silent vaccuum to an orb of hardened and transparent diamond.

There was a charm you recall reading about in passing, from the new books, that bypasses the whole issue by somehow circulating air from elsewhere, but you haven't taken the time to learn any of those spells yet. And it doesn't solve the issue of it being very blatant and rude.

No, slapdash enchantment would probably be the best bet, if you don't have the time to look up proper enchantment rituals for the desired effect, and trust to familiarity with the elemental side of matters to cover for your being out of practice with the actual enchanting of items. When it comes down to it, it works more or less the same as feigning an enchantment by use of summoning. There's some room for overlap, though it is complex and risky. A more rigidly exact practitioner, or a cowardly one, probably wouldn't take those risks even minimized. Of course, at the other end of the spectrum, you have Kirisame, who you aren't quite certain fully grasps all of the risks at all, with how you have heard of her flouting them. For your part, you seat more comfortably towards the middle of the bar.

Still, you might want to brush up on the details of enchantment. And for that matter, more divinatory spells. A pity there are not enough hours in the day to remain perfectly fluent in every discipline of magic, all of the time. Still, that is what reference material is for.

You could just retreat to a safe distance, fly above the scene or watch through a portal, but that would entirely defeat the purpose of the tickets. As well as, again, be absurdly blatant. And you don't really feel like trying to peer through a pinhole sized portal to see the whole scene. Yakumo might well be able to adjust the boundaries of hers to display things in fully broadcasted wide screens from openings the size of a flea on the other end, but you have discovered no way to offer the same functionality to yours. The size of the aperture is constant: if it is one size on one side of the opening, then it not only is but must be that same size on the other.

Or, going by your current theories, Very Bad Things happen. Though you haven't actually found a way to test those theories, even were you inclined to.

That leaves thoughts of your illness.

"Well, you know that most of the family is in poor health to start." a relative points out, from his position draped over another chair. "That's just natural tendency to get sick, though, and not the family illness."

True.

He flips a ball casually through the air, bouncing from one finger to the next.

"You know? It's not that you're weaker than the rest, it was only ever that you were unlucky. You're actually very strong. Or would have been. If a naturally weaker infant is struck with that misfortune, they're guaranteed not to survive. Even with the strongest, it's very touch and go. It's usually better to just assume and make the preparations in advance. You know, everyone was really surprised to hear about your fifth birthday, long ago? Well, the family that stayed enough in touch to hear news sometimes."

That's also true.

...... Now that you think of it, though.

Your family doesn't stay in touch at all. Which means he's an anomaly. When did he get here, and why is he here?

More importantly, what is he?

"Hoo. That's right. I'm not actually a relative." He admits freely, catching a ball in strong hands and popping it with just a twitch of muscles. "I'm just a representation. Of the members of the family that you resented most, because they had what you could not. Even if they prefer books to people, in the end, and even if they wouldn't do as much as a healthy child might. 'I don't want to', after all, is much easier to justify to yourself than 'this is something I can't do', especially when you are young. Still, the resentment fueled and focused you in other areas, did it not?"

That's also true.

Is this going somewhere?

The not-relative smiles warmly, and shrugs carelessly, then dissolves into faintly herbal scented mists.

Your chest bulges out and you choke on blood as Remilia's hands force their way out between your ribs, and there is a great cracking of bone and ripping of flesh before a ghastly apparation shreds its way free of you, gore stained hands clenched on your shoulders as your gaze locks with its own.

It seems to almost be Remilia herself, save for being cloth and flesh alike a uniform chalky white, save the eyes. The eyes are rippling and overflowing pools of black, which seem to draw you into an endless expanse of nothingness as it leans forwards.

"I live in your bones." the specter declares, simply and without introduction or follow-up.

Then it bites down around your throat, and you can feel hundreds of needle-sharp points sinking into your flesh before it rips away, your throat going with it. Its own bulges grotesquely as it swallows, then turns its red-smeared visage to leer at you once more.

You blink, and with a sharp intake of breath, awake from your nap.

Tewi is floating in front of you, peering in interest at your face.

"Pleasant dreams?"

"Hardly." You snort.

In response, the rabbit shrugs and floats a bit away before coming to a stop and touching down on the floor.

"Chairs aren't exactly designed for sleeping in, of course." She notes.

-----

[ ] ???
>>No. 59283
>>59282
>Wizard game, Tickets, your invited. Should be entertaining.
>>No. 59284
File 138067426399.jpg - (130.47KB, 850x850, sample-496f31fcc13d12a45fcc4a117bd4aac7.jpg) [iqdb]
59284
[X] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
- - [X] "It... it's not like I like you or anything. I just.... I just have two tickets."
>>No. 59286
[X] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
- - [X] "It... it's not like I like you or anything. I just.... I just have two tickets."
>>No. 59287
[X] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
- - [X] "It... it's not like I like you or anything. I just.... I just have two tickets."

Time for tsun tsun
>>No. 59289
[X] DO NOT SAY "It... it's not like I like you or anything. I just.... I just have two tickets."
It is ridiculously out of character and makes no sense.
Patchy has already explained in thought how this kind of thing goes (giving a gift to put people on good terms with you) AND she's asexual!
>>No. 59290
[x] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.

Rumia will probably follow along as well. The two of them together should be able to get into enough trouble to amuse Yukari without causing too much death and destruction.
>>No. 59291
[x] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.

Can we stop the votes for acting OOC? Patchouli is not tsun and Kahi will most probably jsut ignore them anyway.
>>No. 59292
[x]Anti-voting Tsun-*.
[x Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
>>No. 59293
X] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
- - [X] "It... it's not like I like you or anything. I just.... I just have two tickets."


Just to annoy some people.
>>No. 59294
The tsun votes honestly made me giggle a bit.

>>59289

It's called character development. You never know, Tewi could have some tricks up her sleeve that might leave Patchy begging for more. She certainly seems like the type.
>>No. 59295
[X] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.

Rumia? Is that you?
>>No. 59296
[x] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
>>No. 59297
>>59289
She's not doing it because she likes Tewi, but because she knows that Tewi is expecting it.
>>No. 59299
[x] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.

I'm sure if Patchy has actual affection to Tewi CR will hint it in his writing. Admittedly, our action right now already goes that way. I don't see why we need to throw some tsun.
>>No. 59300
X] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.

As a sidenote -->
>> And you don't really feel like trying to peer through a pinhole sized portal to see the whole scene.

We're not going to do this because it's rude, but.... really patchouli? This seems a bit poorly thought out. Might be because we're not feeling too well. Yukari can obviously hack the laws of physics/magic/existence to do her bidding, but a far simpler solution exists, Physics. Ever heard of a lens? Or to hook up a detector of sufficient fidelity to HD(+)-quality cabling into whatever imaging device (a camera, be it magical or muggle-made)? Or a specifically crafted widescreen scope? Or to simply use magic to forcefully spread out the light entering through the aperture over and through a large, flat surface in front whilst increasing its strength? I'm quite positive the kappa might have an idea or 20 about other ways it could be achieved.
>>No. 59301
>>59300
Patchoulli has a headache. Give her a break.

>"It... it's not like I like you or anything. I just.... I just have two tickets."
While this would be amusing, I doubt Patchoulli would behave so. Better to let the trickster dig her own grave.

Besides, I love watching her trying to flirt with Patchy.
>>No. 59302
Really the Tsun thing is so wildly out of character I'd expect Chibi-Reaper to lolnope it even if it won but I'm not voting for it. There's been some character development (apparently we are a little more fond of Tewi than we started or we wouldn't invite her at all) but some changes would be too much too soon.

[X] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
>>No. 59304
[X] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.

No tsun-Patchy please. There's a difference between unexpected character development and just careening wildly off the rails to crash and burn at the bottom of the uncanny valley.
>>No. 59305
>>59304
Thanks, now I have the mental image of Patchy trying and failing to appear tsundere in a manner that is less endearing and more creepy.

[x] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
>>No. 59306
>>59294

You and a lot of people don't seem to get what asexual means. It means that Patchy is about as likely to start crushing on Tewi as you are to starting crushing on say... your sister.
>>No. 59307
[x]Anti-voting Tsun-*.
[x Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.

I'm starting to think that our disease is alive in some form, a curse or parasite of some sort, and that that little dream was some kind of divination telling us that. It would explain its tendency to "snap back" after being treated and why literally no normal (or supernatural, or even Eirin-made) treatment can come close to being rid of it.
>>No. 59308
>>59306

Stop using that word. I do not think you know what it means.

Read >>58903 again. Patchy is not asexual. If fact, she is probably better at "sex" than most people in Gensokyo.

It's just that she doesn't pursue pleasure for pleasure's sake. In a situation of equal exchange that involves sex, say for example, Tewi's luck powers are enhanced by having sex with her target, Patchy would be more than willing and able to pleasure her partner far and beyond what normal sex would give.
>>No. 59309
[x] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
>>No. 59310
>>59308

From wikipedia:

Asexuality (or nonsexuality) is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone or low or absent interest in sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the four variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. A study in 2004 placed the prevalence of asexuality at 1%.

Sound correct to me.
>>No. 59311
[x] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.

>>59310
>>59308
>>59306
There's a difference between "aromantic" and "asexual".

It seems that Patchouli is more or less both, though. She appears to lack both a sex drive and a romantic drive, as well as several other things common to humans. I don't remember her having empathy as much of a motivation at any time in this story, for example, and she does not seem to have a desire to have social interactions for their own sake.

She does enjoy sex on its own merits; considering significant parts of sexual pleasure are reflexive, practically anyone would, in the absence of factors that would diminish enjoyment. What makes her asexual is that she has no desire to have sex above and beyond a rational evaluation of that pleasure as compared to the reward from other things she could be doing, with her highest priority being the acquisition of knowledge.

Although, considering that >>58903 says that Patchy does feel sexual pleasure during the act itself, that she wasn't giving any sign of pleasure at all when having sex with the scientist, and that many forms of sexual responses are at least partially reflex, I am drawn to question both the scientist's sexual talent and the functionality of Patchy's reflexes. Also, I find it a little odd that she didn't try to optimize that physical pleasure once she was roped into having sex anyway, since doing so shouldn't significantly increase the unpleasantness or mess involved; but if she was thinking of it purely a waste of time on her end, it's understandable that she might miss something like that.
>>No. 59312
>>59300
... None of which we're carrying with us, so we'd have to use magic to get one which defeats the point of not using magic for this.

And when she's feeling better it's literally easier to rip a hole in reality than use technology because we already have the ability and experience with former and not the latter
>>No. 59313
>>59310

Thats not correct though. The exposition post only stated that Patchy has little intrest in the sexual organs, specificaly. The penis and vagaina do not encompas the entirty of sex, thus we cannot jump to conclusions. Exspecially without clarification on what magical options Kahi was refering to when he made >>58903
>>No. 59314
>>59313
>In the end, she doesn't really consider herself 'sexual' full stop.

This sounds like "asexual" to me. Especially since the line about "both variations about croth regions" was just a way of saying that she's tried both hetero- and homo-sexual relationships and found that she was not impressed by either.
>>No. 59315
>>59314

The line you quoted obviously isn't implying asexuality. I'm not goin to continue discussing this if you aren't even trying.
>>No. 59316
>>59315
I'm not the guy you're arguing with. Despite that I'm going to argue with you.

>>58903
>In the end, she doesn't really consider herself 'sexual' full stop.
This literally means that her orientation is asexual. She could either consider herself sexual or asexual, and she does not consider herself sexual. By definition, she is saying that she is asexual.

>Generally, rather than selecting companionship based on sudden washes of physical lust that are pretty well absent on her side of things,
This also says it better than I ever could. She outright does not feel sexual desire. For anything. This is asexuality by definition: sexuality is founded on that desire which she lacks.

Now, the burden of proof is on you. What indications do you see - anywhere in >>58903 or elsewhere - that Patchouli is not asexual?
(Also, a romantic interest in Tewi, if Patchouli has that, doesn't count as sexuality in and of itself, because a desire for an intimate relationship is distinct from a desire for a sexual one, despite the terms often being used interchangeably.)
>>No. 59317
[X] Inform Tewi that you are inviting her to this... sportsball thing the western magic using sportsmen seem so interested in.
>>No. 59318
[X] Inform Tewi that you are inviting her to this... sportsball thing the western magic using sportsmen seem so interested in.
>>No. 59319
>>59316

>full stop
>Generally

Both of those are not absolutes. therefor some level of sexuality is implied, regardless of how small it may be.

Thus; asexual is too strong a word.
>>No. 59320
[X] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
>>No. 59321
File 138090648310.png - (17.08KB, 334x96, aven-logo.png) [iqdb]
59321
You people.

http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html
>>No. 59322
Why do we care about Patchy's sex life anyway?
You can just petition for another Koa side quest if you want smut. Or go to 4chan /s/ or /d/ or something.
Being a snarky and brutally honest Patchy at everyone is way more fun anyway.
>>No. 59324
>>59321

Hey… what do you mean "you people?"
>>No. 59325
>>59324
"What do YOU mean 'you people'?"

...Sorry, couldn't help it.
>>No. 59326
>>59325

Don't worry about it. That was the response I was looking for. Tropic Thunder lol
>>No. 59327
>>59324
>>59326
Hey, would you mind using sage if you're not gonna vote? Pointless bumps piss people off around here.
>>No. 59328
x] Inform Tewi that you're inviting her to this thing... some sort of sports game that those western magic users like.
>>No. 59331
Next update will contain tsuntsun patchy. I can feel it in my bones.
>>No. 59335
>>59331
Well in that case I'm waiting for Yandere Marisa
>>No. 59339
File 13810960257.jpg - (692.79KB, 640x1000, late_for_school_sis.jpg) [iqdb]
59339
Hah. Well.

You are no blushing and stuttering virgin girl-child who thinks herself adult and worldly for having blooms begun on her chest and crimson flowers in the bed.

So you shall be direct.

"I have come into the possession of a pair of tickets for some manner of british magical sport."

"Oh, like a date?" Tewi asks, sly smirk in place.

You snort.

"Hardly like a specifically romantic endeavor. I simply have an extra ticket and, having no particular need for extra funds, chose to change it for the coin of goodwill rather than lucre."

"Hoo." Tewi muses, leading you out of the clinic. ".... Y'know, anyone else, I think I'd figure they were trying to pull one of those Anime personalities... and it'd piss me off something fierce. You, I think you might be serious. Well, date by any other name. Going to admit that I'm kind of interested in what those wizards do for sport. I figure it'll involve stealing treasure from a sleeping drake, what do you think?"

..... You hadn't thought of it before.

There are teams, though, so it stands to reason that it's a co-operative enterprise. Competitive and direct dueling is already a sport of some kind, though, so....

Most likely, the full team participates in the creation and control of a magical construct or abomination of some nature, which are then pitted against each other in combat. It only makes sense that while the titans crashing at one another are occupied directly with each other, those wizards not occupied with its upkeep and on-the-spot repair pitch in to either add assaults to the opposing behemoth or to remove opposing team members from play.

You think you might enjoy a spot of wizarding sport if that's the case.

"Well, just our luck, we'll get there and it'll turn out that 'Quidditch' is just a word they made up because 'Soccer' or 'Football' didn't sound fancy and magic enough, nyehehe..."

Too possible. You don't like that idea, and so you turn your mind away from it for the moment.

.... Wasn't 'anime' part of what the other shrine maiden was gushing about, not long ago?

"Yeah. It's one of those more recent developments. On my time-scale. Like television." Tewi says, dryly. "I try not to keep up with it too much, but when stuff gets popular that gets kinda hard. And it's not so much the stuff itself that annoys me as the people that are crazy about it who grind on me a bit. I mean, the whole personality categorization thing? It's trying to cram something vast and complex into one word, and they keep on doing it even when it's obviously not applicable."

She shrugs, as you pass out of the bamboo and begin floating over expanses of greenery back towards the mansion. You're in no rush, thankfully, since you aren't sure you're up to making another portal just yet.

"I mean, a lot of what they call 'Tsundere'? In the real world, it's called playing hard-to-get." Tewi says, with a touch of annoyance in her tone. ".... But depending on stuff, it's also called 'she just doesn't like you, really', and you better back off before she does punch you right in the face. Or she's obliged to make you food, because it's her job or something, but you've been coming on way too strong and she wants to make sure you aren't taking ideas into your stupid head, and she isn't obliged to not spit in it next time. And they wrap all that together and assume everyone that's a bit of a short fuse fits their ideal motion picture personality when the world doesn't fit a simplification like that."

You make a soft noise, which she seems to interpret as a 'go on' gesture.

"Then you get the other variations of prefixes, which they had to stretch the first out into. There's 'Kuu'. Cold standoffish ice queen with a warm heart, you know? And it's like, everyone who doesn't care much about what you're saying, or is thinking about something else, or is just bored? Basically, anyone who isn't just totally enraptured with everything that gets said gets tarred with the same brush, and people just start assuming if they crack the frosty shell, warm fuzzies start to overflow everywhere. Whether or not there's precedent suggesting it. Sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade."

Tewi shrugs.

"... Then you got 'Yan'. Or like people would call it the way I'm more familiar with? The crazy. Like, the kind you don't stick it in, by any means. Or at least not with any plans to ever stick it anywhere else without express approval and extenuating circumstances. It's just kind of weird how 'being a knife-happy romantically-obsessive psyche-ward escapee' got fetishized like that. It's like, there's a subset of humans that would love nothing more than to become the target of a crazy serial stalker who kills and eats people when it starts to look like they're going to stray or just don't love them back as much. Which, I mean, more power to them and it's not like there's not more than a handful of youkai I could personally introduce them to that would fit the bill."

Tewi bites her lower lip thoughtfully, and the gatekeeper waves as you pass the walls by.

".... Biggest thing, though, is the 'Dere' at the end of all of them. It's like, on the inside, every last one of the worlds woman is, or secretly wants to be, the perfectly stereotyped humble and demure submissive housewife, and everything beyond that is just a persona that gets stuck on as some kind of test of character to drive off people that don't try hard enough. And comes down to it, you throw that into a motion picture for one character or two, fine. It'll make people groan, but whatever. When it's supposed to be that everyone is like that, or that it works outside of the theater, that's when things start getting a liittle hairy."

You think about that carefully as you pass by Sakuya in the library, tousling the hair of the Head R-pattern as she reads a book, Rachel peering over her shoulder. It looks like, at a glance, one of the ones you picked up from Britain. You collected more than a few that you really haven't even had the chance to so much as skim yet, and it looks like one of those.

Well, no matter. Unlike certain nameless others, the head maid has always been very pointed about not removing books from the library or damaging them in any way and, much more importantly, you don't feel like butting heads with Remi over whether or not she should be allowed.

And she's not a magician, really, which might well be the most crucial bit. Doesn't use magic much at all, beyond flying, and everything else seems to be entirely down to throwing possibly millions of knives and controlling the flow of time and space through her own means.

It takes a lot of the bite out of it, though you still sometimes can't help but secretly wonder if she might get caught up in one of the traps on important tomes one of these days.

No matter, no matter. Best not to think about it, you'll only very slowly annoy yourself into a slow boil of temper if you do. Through the stationary gateway, up the stairs, out of the tower, and into Britain.

... It looks to be about nine thirty, or a bit after. So you're somewhat early still, come to think of it. So you've about two hours to spend before the whole sportscrafting affair begins.

Now, how to utilize them?

------

[ ] ???
>>No. 59340
File 138109649778.jpg - (212.71KB, 850x567, sample-2784e88d37355b4e5639044674ef0e2c.jpg) [iqdb]
59340
[X] Ask Tewi just what kind of image you were projecting?
- - [X] Listen idly while fomulating a proper wizard game~
>>No. 59341
>>59339

[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure the Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?
>>No. 59342
>>59341
Sounds alright

[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure the Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?
>>No. 59343
[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure the Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?
>>No. 59345
We are going to be so disappointed in Quidditch. If it starts getting to Tewi, we should probably leave early, since we're doing this for the lucre of good will.
Because good will from people who can help fight our illness is better than gold.

[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure the Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?
>>No. 59347
>>59345
Or we could help her 'prank' them all.
>>No. 59348
[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure the Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?
>>No. 59350
[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure that Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?

Sounds like a good idea.

>>59339
>".... Biggest thing, though, is the 'Dere' at the end of all of them. [...]"

Tewi is not familiar with the concept of the yangire, I take it.
Her interpretation of "deredere" seems oddly narrow, too, particularly for a native Japanese speaker. I can think of several characters that could be considered *dere but don't match it, and I can count the number of anime I've seen on one hand if I use binary.
>>No. 59352
>>59350
You can think of several exceptions. It doesn't mean the trend's not there. And for that matter, you've probably seen more anime than the immortal who's spent the last few decades in a quasi-midieval fantasy land with only the occasional trip out.
>>No. 59353
[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure that Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?

No reason to vote for anything else, since this pretty much covers what I was thinking of anyway.
>>No. 59356
[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure that Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?
>>No. 59359
>>59353
Indubitably

[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure that Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?
>>No. 59361
[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure that Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?
>>No. 59364
[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure that Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?

This covers just about everything...maybe we should have procured a book to read while we passed through the Library?
>>No. 59366
in a magical privacy bubble with a horny Tewi. Dis gon be gud.
>>No. 59367
>>59366
Less 'privacy bubble' more 'volume normalisation bubble'.
>>No. 59369
[x] Prepare for the worst, just in case- if this is some sort of magical football match, it is likely to be tedious, loud, and excessively crowded. A minor enchanted item or two designed to unobtrusively ward off the ill effects of such circumstances would be prudent. Ensure that Tewi can benefit as well, as it would not do to be rude to a guest.
[x] Snape had advised that the match may begin as much as half an hour prior to the scheduled time; as we are unfamiliar with the customs surrounding these matches and it may take some time to orient ourselves, it would be prudent to arrive a full hour in advance.
[x] Converse with Tewi, so long as she is here. Does she have any particular plans for the coming months, while we will be occupied with our employment?
>>No. 59371
File 138135272716.jpg - (83.73KB, 750x740, bunneh.jpg) [iqdb]
59371
In any case, I kind of miss the information Korners, but I can't find anything else that really needs specific enough mention on casual searches any more. So, I think I'll take a different tack for end-threadness things.

It is now the prototypical showing of Ask X, the behind-the-scenes glimpse at characters.

For the start...

>Tewi is not familiar with the concept of the yangire, I take it. Her interpretation of "deredere" seems oddly narrow, too, particularly for a native Japanese speaker. I can think of several characters that could be considered *dere but don't match it, and I can count the number of anime I've seen on one hand if I use binary.

"Stopped caring the second I heard 'Yan'. Gets other suffixes, huh? Well, let me just 'splain stuff. It's not, so much, the narrative convention itself that I don't like. Nah, comes down to it, that's present in all theater and a lot of stand-up comedy. Slapstick, straight-man, all that jazz. What I'm trying to get across here is my dislike for the sort of people who try to force life to conform to those narrative patterns, or try to personally apply them to gain approval from others. Cuttin' down the words, I hate the over-excited anime fanatic and not so much the disk case they're pushin' in my face. But hey, grinds a bunch of people's nerves that way. I try not to judge, but it's those particulars that got mentioned that sting me in the ear the worst.

Mind you, Anime as a whole hasn't really sold me yet either. Guess it loses some of the thrill when a lot of the spectaculean effects are just stuff that you can personally go out and just do on the way to pick up milk. So that basically cuts out a lot of genres straight up, leaving... eh, some romantic comedy and space robots, I guess? Like I said, I try my hardest not to keep up on it. Nothing comes up urgent, I'll check back in a couple of decades and see what got rated gold stars in the interim.

Open for question, people. Can't promise I'll answer them all, but toss something interestin' up, we'll see, eh?"
>>No. 59372
What is Tewi's interest in Patchy? Can't figure it out.
>>No. 59373
>>59372
Obviously she wants to start a Manzai comedy duo. She someone to play the straight man to her boke.
>>No. 59374
By 'interest' I meant what does she see in Patchy to be interested in her, besides her breast size.
>>No. 59375
>>59374
She's just "someone new that I haven't met before", maybe?
When you live for a thousand years or so, you would probably start getting bored with the same old, so anyone and anything new is interesting.
At least, that's my guess. There might be more to it, but never underestimate the novelty of simply meeting new people.
>>No. 59377
Well. I pick this up after over half a year, and it turns out there have been a slew of updates. Classes still haven't actually BEGUN yet, so I think I'll wait another half-year before I bother with this again. Maybe you'll have actually gotten to the beginning of classes by then, but with my luck you will have just barely finished the disastrous aftermath of the Quidditch match.
>>No. 59378
>>59377
What aftermath?

No, seriously, I checked the books. Nothing. Or maybe so small a mention I missed it. What actually happen?

>>59371
Well, some are already asking about your interest in Patchouli. Me, I wonder about your game plan. You realize this is an uphill battle for you, right?
>>No. 59379
>>59308

You must be reading a different post:
>In the end, she doesn't really consider herself 'sexual' full stop. She has been intimate, at one point or another, with both general variations of crotch regions, and can't really say what people find so utterly fascinating about either of them.
>In any case, she's never seen what the fuss is there, either. In the end, at least in her experience, there are any number of fascinating things with similar or greater result with far less mess, expense, or expenditure of effort involved.

If she isn't asexual than neither are actual asexuals or babies.
>>No. 59380
I also recently returned to this story, coincidentally. At least we've made it to the staff meeting.

Just so you guys know, you fucked up the other teacher's attempt to drag their feet long enough in helping Umbridge that she dies, and revealed a trick of ours unnecessarily.

Neither of those are necessarily a bad thing, though. If I recall, Umbridge's only accomplishment was turning Hogwarts into a police state and alienating everyone but the jerks. If she died, Fudge'd probably send someone smarter and more charismatic. Possibly also more skilled, I can't remember if she was actively incompetent. Plus, some gratitude may possibly somehow remain in her withered toad heart.

If yukari's portals are at all similar magically, the staff may be able to find them better. I wouldn't count on it, though.
>>No. 59381
>>59371
Could you buff Patchy's luck so that any students encountering Youkai have a better chance of escaping safely?
Would focusing that buff only on students who face life-threatening danger, rather than preventing said danger in the first place, be possible?

If you really tried, do you think you could cause Yukari enough grief that she would give up on the whole 'lol portals' crap? Just hypothetically.
>>No. 59382
>>59380
She wouldn't have died- our poison was nonlethal. She'd have suffered a bit more, which would have been nice, but probably not worth Patchouli's discomfort in putting up with her odious presence.

Personally, I think we should have summoned a golem and ordered it to drag her to the hospital wing according to the needlessly lengthy and convoluted directions we received, but alas, people went for the portal instead.

As far as revealing that trick, given that Patchouli basically portals everywhere that's more than a minute or two's walk away, I'm inclined to think that it would have gotten out sooner or later anyway. It's hardly optimal that we showed it to everyone, but we likely didn't lose anything that we wouldn't have eventually anyway, and the general lack of power amongst casters in the outside world means that reverse-engineering our techniques would likely be a very difficult endeavor for them, perhaps even impossible for the weaker ones.

All that said, it wasn't the optimal course of action, I agree.

>>59371
What makes you happy, Tewi?
What are you doing with your life?
What are your goals and ambitions?
Why are all the other rabbits so different from you in personality? One would think that they'd try to imitate you.
What's your opinion on this whole "Yukari's making portals between a magical outsider school and Gensokyo" bit?
>>No. 59383
>Space Robots

Tewi, if given the opportunity, would you pilot a space robot?
If so, what kind, and to do what?
>>No. 59384
Are you scared of Rumia?
>>No. 59385
What... is your name?
What... is your quest?
What... is the capital of Assyria?
What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
>>No. 59386
Sooo how does the whole "mating season" thing affect you Tewi? I mean...we've all read the doujins and whatnot, but lets get the insider scoop.
>>No. 59387
So, Tewi, has the whole stint in Caerbannog left you with a taste for human faces. In a non romantic sense.
>>No. 59389
>>59371
You say that you dislike the placing of people into categories, a quite understandable sentiment given the huge range of behavior possible. Do you think that with broad enough and numerous enough personality categories you'd get something reasonably close to real life, or would such a system still need a category for nearly every person in existence? What if this hypothetical system allowed for combinations of categories (ie, half X and half Y, or mostly Z with a bit of W, and some V in stressful situations)?
>>No. 59390
File 138147667911.jpg - (149.43KB, 501x1000, Interview_With.jpg) [iqdb]
59390
> Would you pilot a Space Robot?

"Hm. Erh.... depends. I mean, if I was in space, maybe. But when it comes down to it, I don't know what that's all made of except it seems like maybe cardboard considering how easily it gets shot up and blown apart by giant-robo swords and space bombs. And I mean, I can kick through steel, so there's that. And seems like they automatically self-destruct whenever they break or something, so I'm basically wrapping myself safely up in a big bottle of nitro with a primed explosive plug just waiting to go off.

So yeah, mark me as a solid 'Maybe, not committed one way or another' on that one. I'd kind of rather be that one guy who charges up and beats the robots to death without any weapons, but maybe.

I guess if I really had to be in space for some reason I would try running really fast, then jumping really high, and achieving escape velocity. Supposedly rabbits did that looooong ago, and that's where moon bunnies came from. And then one thing led to another, time passed and the Lunarians happened, a couple of space-bunnies loved each other very very much and filled all the paperwork to get approval to form a baby, stuff happened, and now Reisen lives at Eientei.

But yeah, call me old-fashioned, but I think I might lean towards the traditional methods of rabbit space-faring. I mean, worst that can happen is my eyes explode out of my skull, my skin freezes and shatters, and all my blood boils out through my cracks and pores, so... no worries. No rush either, mind."

>Capital of Assyria?

"Gonna have to be more specific than that. You know they call that region 'Iraq' these days, right? Well, unless there's been some kind of political overthrow and the new guy in charge renamed it. Or everyone died and people later moved into the free space and started a new country. These things happen.

But seriously, you mean the first capital, last, somewhere in between, or how things were when I passed through that part of the globe last? I don't often head through that area, usually go to other places if I leave Japan. Central americas, bits of europe, some pretty cold places, actually I'm bored now. Next question."

>What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen-

"Oh, you're just a funny guy. Depends on ascending or descending. Gravity's a bitch that way. And yeah, I know that's not the one you were fishing for."

>Are you scared of Rumia?

"Ruuuuuumi..... uh. Hold on, I'm pretty sure I had this one pointed out to me in a crowd, even if we haven't really been introduced. Let me see. Definitely.... hangs out with the frost fairy, blonde, headgear, doesn't narrow that down too much, lives at the... No, that Curse god lives in the mountaintop shrine in Tengu-ville. Oh right, yeah, airplane arms, black and white not the witch, usually has at least a whiff of some kind of blood in the air?

Nah. Not any more than any other predator, anyway. Of course, a bear or something gets the picture that it's not really that hungry after you give it a couple of good kicks, usually. Too much trouble for the food. Things that can think properly are a bit more of a hassle. But no, can't think of why I would be. I mean, the only problem with something hungry is if I'm stupid enough to get caught or trapped, right? No sweat.

..... Also, uh, don't try that whole bear-kicking thing at home, kids. Unless you, too, can kick through steel in which case go ahead and do whatever you want I guess. Because very few people are going to attempt to stop you, most likely. Break a leg. Hopefully not yours."

>Why are all the other rabbits so different from you in personality? One would think that they'd try to imitate you.

"Dunno. Why are all you humans different in personality from the local Senator?

Well, I guess that's not fair. And to some degree, they do try. Just not really good at it. One degree or another, still got a whole bunch of rabbit impulses, just got bigger and smarter and grew a set of thumbs at some point. Which means entirely vegetarian, and usually jumpy about people they can recognize to at least probably be omnivores and so there's a fair to decent chance of being eaten, in the back of their minds, that they can't quite kick. That little voice going "Hey, these people eat meat. I am made of meat and so are all my friends. Well, usually. It's the normal thing to be made of. But it still makes interacting with most people a bit weird.

Well, and so does the little voice that says 'You aren't currently pregnant, you really should be procreating right about now'.

To be fair, mind you, both of those are critical points for your standard bush-hopping non chatty rabbit because hey, prey beast. There are a lot of things that want to eat you, in the wild something will usually try pretty regularly, so most of your day is spent furtively eating and drinking, running away from things with pointy teeth, and making lots of easier targets for anything that happens on you to snap at. Pretty biologically focused on it. Have enough kids, some of them will live long enough to be the next generation and all of that.

Well, what I'm saying is personality isn't based around that, but a rabbit that isn't sure if you're going to try to eat it or not gets jumpy, and if it's smart enough to understand you saying you won't, it's also smart enough to know you might be lying and just biding your time. So you get a wide spectrum of personalities, though they're at least usually a little colored by being a rabbit. They all respect me, sure, but that doesn't mean they all even want to be exactly like me. Those that do usually aren't too good at it.

Basically, without getting into psychology textbooks and charging by the hour for frank and uncomfortable conversations, it's just that not everyone can be as incredible as I am. It's a curse, my burden to bear."

>What makes you happy, Tewi?

"Kind of an iffy question.

I mean what, really, makes anyone 'happy'? Money, power? Thrills and excitement, or just the simple pleasures of having a roof over your head to sleep under and warm food to eat? Brain chemistry shifting from exersize, sex, or some kind of drink or drug, or just quietly sitting in peace somewhere aesthetically pleasing?

Really, happiness is probably ill defined. The important point is the decision to be happy. Sieze the carp and all of that other stuff I picked up from leafing through a self-help motivational phamplet for depressed industry workers once.

Leaving vague philosophy aside, gonna have to say cake. Cake makes me happy. Specifically carrot cake.

Whether or not it yells when I pounce."

>How does Mating Season affect you?

"Pffft.

Hahaha.... just a sec..... kenyehehehe.

Oh wow.

Look, rabbits flat out don't go into 'heat' like a dog or what have you, right? We can breed year round. More in the summer, because there's lots of food and it's warm, so the kittens will probably survive long enough to grow fur and handle themselves. Less in the winter becaue, you know, the opposite. But there's no actual single period of time that we're fertile in, and can't breed outside of. You want to get technical, we can get pregnant right the next day after giving birth.

You hear a Rabbit try to push something about a 'mating season' on you, it's a complete bluff. They might say 'anyone will do', but only if you're the only one there. It's like, the most blatant of alone-friday-night saucy pick up lines."

>If you really tried, do you think you could cause Yukari enough grief that she would give up on the whole 'lol portals' crap? Just hypothetically.

"Uh.

.... Let's just say that there's a bit of agreement going around between some people to try not to track mud over each others' carpets if possible, as it were. And I mean, I've got a bit of a reputation myself, which gives me more leeway than some others because troublemaking is just expected, buuuut...

Well, let's leave this one as questionable. I probably could give the witch of in-betweens a headache or three, but...

Well, she's crazy stubborn about some things sometimes. When she's not being crazy whimsical. So she might can the idea just for being asked to, or it might not be worth the effort to try because she won't pull her claws out of the plan for anything, and the headaches I'll get back in turn will be worse and then it just turns into a back and forth downward spiral.

I mean, there's good reason for that whole little agreement, and looking for indirect ways to solve conflicts.

And when it comes down to it, the worst that happens is a few humans I don't know might die. And I mean, I don't get too bent out of shape by rabbits I know dying. Everything seems to be happy to eat a rabbit, sometimes. And not just the wee animals, occasionally there'll be a cock-up with one of those dinosaurs.

Shame, but that's how it goes.

I guess if there's someone interesting, I might go out of my way togive them a hand or a foot, but who knows, really. Or if I happen to be there, I guess. Depends."

>What do you find interesting about Patchouli?

"Hoo?

Well now. Obviously we'd crossed paths once or twice, both at the clinic and beyond. But before, it was always with her looking just two or three hearbeats shy of falling over dead, picking up medicine because things couldn't just be ignored any more.

Just seeing her healthier was a bit startling, because before, it was just a surprise that she wasn't dead yet.

Now that aside, she was going by the forest paths, with a werewolf I've never met, and I thought I knew all the ones in Gensokyo. Or knew of them, anyway. I could have been mistaken, but that caught my attention.

And of course, the hammer. Though, it wasn't that little hammer itself. I've owned nice things before, still own a nicer trinket or two here or there, and I've lost and given away and gambled and sold a lot more. For just a moment, when it was made, she was honestly surprised about what she was holding. It was pretty lucky of her, I think.

Really, more than enough reason to look a little closer. For what.... that, I'm not sure yet. Haven't decided.

But hey, that's all the time we have, folks. Tune in next time, for a special new guest star."
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