The alien woke up and found, to its bafflement, that it didn't have any memories to recall. He may not have remembered anything, but he figured he knew enough to be confident that this was not natural, at least not natural for him.
He had awakened somewhere warm, probably provided by the great burning mass resting far above where he stood. Claws shifting uneasily in the dirt, his single, great eye roved around at what looked to be miles of green vegetation, intermittently spliced through by streams of water. Nothing was strikingly familiar.
Ack, he said inwardly, This might be where I live. Or work. A clawed appendage rose to rest just beneath a gnarled, hideous gape. Do I work? What kind of work am I supposed to do with all this green stuff? How will I know if I ever worked or not? It doesn't matter. The thought was terminated shortly. Although he knew zilch about himself, he quickly latched on to the notion that he was a thinking, rational, whatever-he-was. While his current predicament would've been a cause for concern to someone else, he felt it wasn't the same for him, that he was made of something stronger. He lifted one of his longer appendages and flexed.
After all, I do seem to have...considerable muscle mass. Hah.
Yes, he was a thinking, rational, and strong creature, and he would find a way to reorient his poor, frazzled mind. That was all that mattered now.
 - He had a strange-looking device attached to one of his lovely appendages. It squirmed.  - Perhaps a clue would lie in the plant-life that surrounded him. Was it edible?  - That great ball of heat was a little irksome.  - His keen eye spotted another lifeform not too far from him. Communication would be a good thing to test out.
So hear me out, I know this is a little strange. I just came up with this idea and decided to run with it. The beginning is short and a little rocky, but things will get more natural as I go along, feel free to air any grievances, or share any initial thoughts.
He gazed balefully up at the sky, the throne of his nemesis. Yes, the irritatingly bright ball in the sky would be his first adversary, he decided it just then. His first, great feat, of many that he was confident he’d make, would be to destroy the celestial sphere. Unfortunately, it seemed that his nemesis had a similar idea, the alien snapped his gaze down to where his mangled claws dug into the soil, and hissed. The sphere hurt to look at! How was he expected to do battle with an enemy that could blind him without even touching him? He hissed again, the sound of it like a snake that had been stepped on.
Lifting all four of his saw-like fists, he raised his head high into the air, stared directly into the flaming sphere, and with all his might released a war cry so savage that he was sure it cut through the atmosphere like a knife. His voice died down, the fragments of his cry repeated itself continuously until it was eventually absorbed by the calm, taciturn rays of light. Nothing. His adversary was silent. His eye stung, he shifted it back to the ground.
It must be intimidated. It’s been made speechless by my performance. The alien laughed to himself, “Kiml, kiml:” an insectoid chitter. He didn’t feel victorious, if anything he felt cheated. In truth, it had only been about a few minutes since he his awakening among the small, green plants with no memories to speak of, but in that short amount of time he had come to realize something: he had a strong sense of superiority. Over what, he couldn’t quite say, perhaps in general; he was superior over every lifeform that had, has, and will ever exist. But the only lifeform he knew so far was himself, and therein lied the problem: he had no means to prove his theory was true. How could he test his superiority if there were no enemies to challenge it?
He sneered (or appeared to, with a complexion like his who could tell?) and kicked up a clump of the dirt with his foot. The soil underneath was black and glistening, he observed it distractedly and then stole a glance back at the sky. Perhaps the flaming sphere knew of his plight, his strange desire to challenge himself, perhaps it had watched many others of his kind as it doggedly watched him now, perhaps it understood him more than he understood himself in his current empty-minded state. Perhaps it would tell him if he just asked.
He hissed again and bore his fangs at it, a reminder that they were still enemies. The heat it produced was dismal. He decided at that moment to stop thinking about the flaming sphere, or the bleakness of his situation, or whatever happened before he woke up, or his splintered pride, or whatever. Just focus on something else, something more important, that’s what he needed to do. His eye wandered over the plain of green plants, there must have been no end to the stuff. Maybe everything was covered in it? He made to look back down at his clawed feet, out of habit now, but his attention was caught halfway. There was something latched on to one of his lovely appendages. It resembled an extra limb, but he wasn’t fully sure of what it was, it stood out quite clearly from the rest of himself. Six small, black needles were bored into the flesh of one of his smaller arms. He shook it experimentally, the thing seemed to have quite a hold. Daintily, carefully, he nudged it with a claw, it squirmed.
Lifting his arm to get a better look, he noticed how one end of the thing opened out from his body, with a sharp point jutting out from its center and three prongs coming along either side of it. Interesting. He studied the thing on his arm at several angles, trying to discern if it was some kind of parasite or prosthetic. It was definitely alive, so signs were pointing towards the former. Just as he began to consider simply wrenching the thing off, he became aware of something. A sound, some kind of tune, it was coming not too far away from where he was.
On some instinct, he took a deep inhale. The air carried the scent of something . . . warm. Not irritating like the flaming sphere, but something softer, smaller, sweeter. The scent fired up something in the back of his alien mind, the scent was familiar, pleasant in the same way that a piece of candy or a chocolate is pleasant. It was a meal! Or, at the very least a midday snack. A purr bubbled up out of his mouth, he remembered the sweet taste of something very nice.
He jerked his head towards the direction of the tune, whatever produced the sound carried the scent with it as well. Perhaps this is how I get my food, he wondered as his body lowered until the plants towered above all around him. With an impressive physique like this, I suppose it’s only natural that I’m an apex predator he mused with a dark chuckle as he stalked and weaved towards the location of the scent.
A massive, brown tail, ringed by black stripes lazily swayed in the cool midday breeze. Mamizou, humming a nameless tune, was bent on her haunches in the middle of a trodden dirt path. She took a deep drag from her pipe, exhaled, and pushed a pair of glasses back up the bridge of her nose as she scrutinized the earth below her. Strange tracks were carved into it, two thin lines that joined at a base. The tanuki boss hadn’t the slightest clue what could have made them, their scent was unlike anything she was familiar with.
Mamizou continued to hum as she pondered the tracks’ possible owner. She suspected it was some kind of youkai that wasn’t well-known, those tended to crop up every now and again, but the shape was awfully peculiar, she wondered if the mystery youkai was some kind of bird. It would have to be a really big bird, judging by how the tracks sank into the dirt. In any case, whatever it was hadn’t stayed on the road for long, most of the tracks veered off to the side and into the nearby irrigation fields. If anything, Mamizou was glad that they didn’t lead towards the shrine, Reimu typically wasn’t fond of visitors when they were of the youkai persuasion. It was bad for what little reputation her precious shrine had.
Though Mamizou was absorbed in her musings, she was not unaware of a silent presence that had appeared to her left, trying to hide among the field’s crops. The mystery youkai had arrived, no doubt. She couldn’t gleam any details, but the strange, foreign scent was there and more prominent than what lingered on the dirt road. Mamizou lifted the pipe back into her mouth and continued to hum, tail gently swaying back and forth, as she waited for the stranger to make their move.
The alien felt very proud of himself. He had followed the scent with ease and now his bounty lay right in front of him. He observed Mamizou’s tail as it flowed behind her with a captivating rhythm, it seemed to him that her tail was shaded in the most charming color. The alien realized that he could lose himself in the slow, subtle movement of her tail. However, this odd creature was still prey, regardless of how beautiful it looked, the alien mused.
However, when he got a better look at her, the alien became equally as captivated by the rest of Mamizou, too. Her body was thin and gave the impression of being something very fragile. Her eyes were lawless, deemed the alien, he could divine a small light from within them that danced in such a marvelous way. She was the only other thing he had found since he awoke that actually moved, he wondered if perhaps they could share a kinship with one another.
Then the warm scent returned to him, and he remembered that he was far above the thing sitting in the clearing like easy pickings, he admonished and reminded himself that he was here to dignify his natural superiority.
The alien stalled for a while, he waited to see what his prey would do. Then, when she did not move, he built up all his strength, and leaped out of hiding, claws prone towards the clueless beast, spoiling for the sensation of soft flesh, tender flesh. But the feeling never came, for before the alien hit the ground, Mamizou had moved out of the way. It happened so fast, next thing he knew her arm, thin but unnaturally strong, had wrapped around his neck and he realized that she had been waiting for him. He was trapped in a fierce headlock, Mamizou forced him to bend forwards so that he reached her comparatively shorter stature. The alien hissed dumbfoundedly.
Mamizou smiled and took another drag from her pipe, the stench of tobacco crowded the alien’s nostrils and made his eye water.
“Boy, you’re a big one, aren’t ya?” The tanuki, with her years of experience and extensive knowledge on youkai, didn’t know what category the creature she kept locked in place would fit into. It was much taller than her, and its physique was nothing to sneeze at either. Its chitinous skin seemed to bulge under the size of its own muscles. It was also very angry, that much was easy to see, it must’ve been a newborn youkai that hadn’t been taught Gensokyo’s rules quite yet. It was fortunate then, that it had found her first instead of some unsuspecting human from the village. She could imagine him making quick work of the farmer that would inevitably come by to check on his field. That kind of incident wouldn’t end well for youkai or humans.
Mamizou was torn out of her thoughts when, to her great surprise, the alien began to speak, or tried to, at least. Everything came out harsh and mechanical, its reptilian eye stared intently into hers. She didn’t understand a word, but if it was trying to communicate then it was a lot smarter than she had given it credit for. Perhaps, and it sounded unlikely but it was worth try, perhaps this youkai could be reasoned with.
“Hey, hey slow down,” it seemed enraptured in its own speech as the noises grew more intense, “Hey, calm down. I can’t understand...”
The alien’s voice grew in even greater intensity, Mamizou sighed and, lifting her pipe, lightly bopped it on its head. It stopped immediately.
“Alright, maybe we got off on the wrong foot.” Mamizou, against her better judgement, released it from her hold. The alien straightened to his full height and stepped a pace back from her, he stood quiet and motionless. Mamizou held her arms up in a peaceful gesture. “I’m not going to hurt you unless you try to hurt me, it’s just, people don’t usually like to be attacked without any particular reason, y’know.” The pipe returned to her mouth. “I’m willing to bet you can sort of understand me, right?”
The alien was surprised to see that the creature spoke an entirely different language from him. Frankly, it was a disgusting language, but her voice, sweeter than even the scent of prey, still managed to fashion the noise into something that was at least tolerable. But he still found it ugly, and also eerily familiar. With his advanced alien mind, he was able to pick up on a few words and distinguish their meaning here and there, thankfully Mamizou seemed adamant on communicating with him and thus spoke a lot of words.
After few frustrating minutes, Mamizou eventually gave up, she sighed irritably and took another long drag, which she exhaled in an weary huff. The alien observed her curiously, since she had stopped talking, he figured that it would be a good time as any to try out this new, ugly language. The alien grabbed her attention by clearing his throat, he directly into her eyes, and with one sentence, he uttered his first ever human words:
 - "Do you alwayzz tahhk so much?"  - "I didnnn't unnerstan' any a' that."  - write in
[X] - "I didnnn't unnerstan' any a' that." I agree, I'm leaning towards being a cheeky shit personally, but its probably best not to risk a misunderstanding with someone that can kill you like a trapped rat.
On a separate note though, anyone else getting the impression that this ?vortigaunt? is oddly horny for raccoon dog?