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File 163106532460.jpg - (1.80MB, 2719x4021, YeahBitchIWokeUpLikeThis.jpg) [iqdb]
68326
Your name is Reimu Fuck-Mothering Hakurei the 16th, and there's an incident going on. You can tell because the author is a hack, who probably can't even make this shitty trope work, much less anything with actual characterisation, or depth. That however, is besides the point, because as was previously mentioned: Incident. Your job is resolving those probably. That still leaves the ever so pressing question however of where to start.
Deliberating on the issue, you stare into the sunrise like a badass before deciding to:

[] Get a goddamn move on, you have places to go, youkai to exterminate, there's probably a space hamster in there somewhere.
[] Sit here and look cool until someone comes along to exposit at you. Maybe the stage one boss will clear themselves by tripping on a rock if you stall long enough.
[x] Conjure goasts.

Let's get spoopy.
File 163106694830.png - (49.13KB, 130x324, 130px-Th13Yuyuko.png) [iqdb]
68328
>>68327
Youki's words echoed... "There's a time and place for everything, but not now."
[X] Sit here and look cool until someone comes along to exposit at you. Maybe the stage one boss will clear themselves by tripping on a rock if you stall long enough.

But what if... we are the stage one boss?
File 163107510278.jpg - (10.21KB, 301x168, Gangster.jpg) [iqdb]
68330
[x] Gather fellow protagonists to fuck shit up together
[x] Get a goddamn move on, you have places to go, youkai to exterminate, there's probably a space hamster in there somewhere.

Gather homies, Fuck youkais, gain faith and "donations", blow up SDM mansion, insult Yukari's age. All in a day's work
[x] Gather fellow protagonists to fuck shit up together
[x] Get a goddamn move on, you have places to go, youkai to exterminate, there's probably a space hamster in there somewhere.

If we don't get a space hamster, then by anon I will vote for Shinny to be the pet!
[X] Get a goddamn move on, you have places to go, youkai to exterminate, there's probably a space hamster in there somewhere.

The sooner this bitch job is done the sooner we can start to bitch relax our vacation.

MAKE THAT CULPRIT BUY THE FARM LOKE A SUCKAH, MAKE EM GENUFLUCT GOOOD!
[X] Get a goddamn move on, you have places to go, youkai to exterminate, there's probably a space hamster in there somewhere.
Calling vote for
[X] Get a goddamn move on, you have places to go, youkai to exterminate, there's probably a space hamster in there somewhere.
File 163112089096.jpg - (469.25KB, 995x750, ThisIsGensoukyoImReimuFromHakureiLandOfTheMaidensY.jpg) [iqdb]
68335
[X] Get a goddamn move on, you have places to go, youkai to exterminate, there's probably a space hamster in there somewhere.


...Ah screw it, sooner you put down the dozen or so it is this week the sooner you can go back to sleep. Cant be that hard anyway, especially with how everyone else has become a bunch of pushovers lately. Only thing to do know is decide which shot type to use against today's shitheel, and hope this isn't another 12+ hour resolution.

[] Cleansing Sign, Pursuit Type
- "Homing Amulet"
- "Purification Rod"

- "Fantasy Seal"
- "Youkai Destroying Strike"

[] Extermination Sign, Rapid Fire Type
- "Sealing Needle"
- "Extermination"

- "Unpaid Needles"
- "Demon Binding Ring"
[X] Cleansing Sign, Pursuit Type
- "Homing Amulet"
- "Purification Rod"

Homing shots are the ones that require the least effort from you. that means you got more time to dodge or kick a hoe in the shins. TEACH these SUCKAS how to be a real SPELLCARD MASTAH!

Also you got to break their teeth with your rod, best of both worlds.
[x] Fist Sign, Punch Type
- "Left Hand of Pain"
- "Right Hand of More Pain"

- "Fist in the Fucking Face"
- "Pierce the Heavens"

Ignore pussy options, play hardcore.
File 163113789630.jpg - (805.85KB, 1600x1200, IllPierceYourMum.jpg) [iqdb]
68338
>>68337
I'll allow it because I really like Gurren Lagann.
[x] Cleansing Sign, Pursuit Ty--

Oh, we doing custom loadouts? >>68337

In that case
[x] [b]Eternal[b] Sign, Slayer Type
- Super Shotgunhttps://youtu.be/IO1smOedNTw
- The cruciblehttps://youtu.be/fPYzDjbHbew

- Fantasy Heaven https://youtu.be/Z5eZJ2VGQQE
- "They named her: Youkai Exterminator"
Aaaaand after my post, the page refreshed and OP comment visible I see it's not actually as free-range as it looked to be.

So, my vote - when no meme loadout is intended - goes to the pursuit type. >>68339
[X] Cleansing Sign, Pursuit Type
- "Homing Amulet"
- "Purification Rod
[x] Cleansing Sign, Pursuit Type
- "Homing Amulet"
- "Purification Rod"

- "Fantasy Seal"
- "Youkai Destroying Strike"

Homing is the obvious option.

In case of meme options: [x] Fist Sign, Punch Type
Let's play the fighting games.
[x] Fist Sign, Punch Type
- "Left Hand of Pain"
- "Right Hand of More Pain"

- "Fist in the Fucking Face"
- "Pierce the Heavens

We God Hand now
x] Fist Sign, Punch Type
- "Left Hand of Pain"
- "Right Hand of More Pain"

- "Fist in the Fucking Face"
- "Pierce the Heavens

Hell yes for Godhand!
File 163118101349.jpg - (717.79KB, 700x1030, HakureiStyleMMA.jpg) [iqdb]
68344
There isn't anything that can actually pose a threat to you, and this probably isn't even a meaningful incident, so you don't waste time getting your tools, instead deciding to use your bare hands.
Taking off, and flying out over the forest of magic, you slowly start coming across fairies, weaving past their barrages and all but eviscerating their formations. The few who are not immediately reduced to mist by your flurry of blows don't even get to escape, instead being grabbed, either to block a shot or be used as one, even the poor nameless midboss merely lasts long enough to feel the pain from your unyielding knuckles.
Eventually, as your massacre finally runs out of targets, you feel the breeze pick up...

[] Take a moment to enjoy it and cool off before the first boss arrives.
[] Look around for the source, this is clearly youkai trickery.
[x] Look around for the source, this is clearly youkai trickery.

NO PAUSE, NO MERCY, ALL SHINTO RAGEEEEE!
[x] Look around for the source, this is clearly youkai trickery

Sus
[x] Look around for the source, this is clearly youkai trickery.

>>68346
Curses on you. Thousand curses, lots and lots! Damned be you and your kind, kith and kin. Forever and ever, pain eternal. You cross-eyed rascal, you stinking ne'er-do-well.

My mind, my memory, was free, untainted by this drivel and here comes along you, croaking youuu, croaking this vile, cursed three-letter word. Curses on you and may your grave be a toad's pond.
>>68347

Ok Suwako you uber-boomer
[x] Bare armpits to deploy MAIDEN SCENT.
It is the only way.
Wtf did I just read
>>68350
Presumably, a story on THP.
[x] Look around for the source, this is clearly youkai trickery.

Mamma Hakurei would be proud. Now go kick the shit out of weakass fan.
Throwing your gaze from side to side, you hurriedly try to find your next target, flying forward as you scan the surrounding skies and the forest canopy until... There! A faint shine in the tre- PICHUUN
A pair of high heeled loafers collide with the side of your face like the fist of an oni, launching you down to the forest floor, where your fall is barely broken by the leaf litter, your opponent landing a ways in front of you, and starts shouting angrily.
"Hey hey hey hey hey! Listen up you demon miko, having left her homeland she never yields, never retreats, and never regrets! You face the great Wriggle Nightbug!"
"So if I catch you it'll be a size record? And you wont even run away when I try? I wonder if there's a cash prize for finding the biggest firefly in gensokyo."
"No! There's no reward for catching me! I'm going to end your reign of terror once and for all!"
"Then I'll just have to squish you instead." You answer, clearly enraging the gnat who immediately attempts to close with a fierce axe kick, only narrowly missing as you dodge out of the way, your own blow evaded in turn. The two of you dance across the clearing, back and forth, neither able to decisively hit the other, until Wriggle finally remembers she has danmaku, keeping her still for long enough that you can land a devastating right hook on her face, knocking her out cold. As you're about to recite a one liner, you see something out of the corner of your eye, turning to see a ghost holding some metal device.
Then you see nothing.
File 163127174554.jpg - (459.78KB, 1126x1582, MyWriggleCouldBeatUpYourWriggle.jpg) [iqdb]
68360
Forgot the image.
Epic lass, can't wait for the next update!
File 16315412085.png - (242.93KB, 600x700, ItWouldPayTheBillsIfIHadAny.png) [iqdb]
68363
You, are employed. As such you could not possibly be Reimu Hakurei, and anyone thinking otherwise should probably see about getting their head checked; no, you are at least presently going by Sakuya Izayoi, Head Maid of The Scarlet Devil Mansion. ...And speaking of employment your employers have been acting rather out of sorts lately. It would be quite concerning all told, if they paid you enough to care. Or at all for that matter, but they don't, so you figure they'll get over it eventually, even if its even effecting Ms Knowledge. Speaking of which, she appears to be coming this way, if the sudden weight of the air, and every sound that isn't her footsteps fading out are any indication, so you think you would rather not deal with that.

[] Finish cleaning this window first, but you're unwilling to deal with someone who pretends to be smart when they forget that they can just call for you.
[] Alternatively, as distasteful as the idea feels you could leave your work unfinished, and hope it tricks her into thinking you'll be by this way later.
[] Write in
[X] Stop time to clean the window.

[X] Leave afterwards
File 163155261132.jpg - (15.07KB, 425x248, IMG_20210913_190248.jpg) [iqdb]
68365
[x] Stops time
[x] Cleans window
[x] Doesn't elaborate further
[x] Leaves
[x] Pretend to be the carpet.
I know nobody still around today ever read FoSL but fuck it.
File 163171062641.jpg - (727.11KB, 1290x907, CourtesyOfElbowGrease.jpg) [iqdb]
68367
You stop time, continuing to clean the window as you do so. Its a shame honestly, you enjoy the view from this one either way but its so much better in motion. Still, anything is better than dealing with Patchouli at the moment, you don't know why she's been so strangely thespian lately but its making her hard to deal with.
At least that devil she keeps around to help manage the books is still bearable, so you haven't had to go out of your way too blatantly to avoid the magician.
Speaking of which, what was it you still had to do after this? Oh, right,

[] Your Lady mentioned wanting her tea around this time today didn't she? You had best get on that.
[] There was a small influx of new hires recently, and you should check on them. Hopefully none of them have tried to take up permanent residence in the bath again.
[] It has been a while since you last checked on the younger sister, and you doubt Ms Knowledge will look for you there.
[] Write In
[X] It has been a while since you last checked on the younger sister, and you doubt Ms Knowledge will look for you there.

Flan time
[X] Your Lady mentioned wanting her tea around this time today didn't she? You had best get on that.

I'm something of a Remi fan myself.
[x] There was a small influx of new hires recently, and you should check on them.
>not voting faeries
shiggy
[x] Patrol the SDM mansion for any object that might lead to a giant explosion

Just in case this become a true touhou manga
Someone break the tie, I don't care if you voted previously, but I cant write an update until a choice wins,
[x] It has been a while since you last checked on the younger sister, and you doubt Ms Knowledge will look for you there.
classic flanfag victory
>>68373
Thank you anon, very cool. Vote called for Flannister Railing.
did it died?
>>68380
No, it just tripped on me needing a break for unrelated health reasons and is still nursing the bruise.
>>68381

Big oof, good luck with your recovery and we will diligently await you.

Take care and hope you're not suffering.
>>68381
Ouch. Well, it happens. Get well soon.
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