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File 144729929293.jpg - (184.87KB, 503x710, yeah that person.jpg) [iqdb]
“I couldn't care less about it.” You stop to take a bite of the pasta. You're not the best cook, but you're good enough. Maybe whenever Momiji returns to Gensokyo, you'll fill in as the cook. A sobering thought. “But I do care about the people who work there, more or less.”

“Well, aren't you just the sweetest?” Momiji flashes you a sly smile. “The girls have a great father looking over them.”

“Hahahah, no.” You shake your head with disgust at the wolf tengu.

She allows herself a quick chuckle. “Isn't that basically how it is? I know Cassie and Lily basically adore you. And Rylee...” she trails off. “Well, she's the rebellious one, right?”

“Nah.” You pause to think about your employees. You suppose they're all good people at heart. Even Rylee. Still an asshole to you though. “They're all big girls. They can take care of themselves. And if they can't, I'm sure as hell not going to.”

“But you do!” Momiji shivers, retreating further into her hoodie. “Lily said you saved them all from all kinds of shit. You're like their hero.”

“Sure, if you consider underpaying employees heroic. I didn't do jack shit.” You wonder exactly how much Lily told her. Not like it's a big secret, but you didn't think Momiji and Lily talked much outside of work affairs.

The wolf tengu pulls her hood up and retreats to your room. “I'm heading over to the bed. I'm just a little tired.”

At this point, it's a waste of your breath to tell her that it's not her fucking house. You sigh and pick up the plates, throwing them into the sink. A quick rinse does the job, but you should really get to washing all your dishes completely before you run out. Another time.

Momiji rests her head limply on your pillow, trembling under the covers. “Man, it's really fucking cold.”

“I feel alright. Are you sick?” You don't bother waiting for a response and immediately slap your hand on her forehead. She has a fever. The wolf has a fucking fever. “How do you even get sick?”

“Like most people, I have an immune system.” she groans. “What? Do you think wolf tengu have some kind of magic immuno-barrier or something?”

“Okay, no. I just thought wolf tengu would be strong enough to avoid the cold.” You admit, it was pretty dumb of you to think that it's impossible for someone like Momiji to get sick. “More importantly, why is your immediate response to go to my bed?”

“I was kind of hoping you'd nurse me back to health?” Momiji looks at you expectantly, putting on her best smile. The girl sniffles a little. Cute. Not really.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Momiji?” You reach over to grab her face with your hands. Giving her head a little shake, you continue. “The last thing I want to do on my day off is have my employee sneeze and cough all over my bed and get me sick too.”

“I probably got sick because you had me wait out in the rain!” she helpfully adds. God damn it. “Aren't you glad we get to spend more quality time together?”

“No.” You sigh and release her, letting her head drop back to the pillow. “I don't know about Gensokyo but in the real world, we give sick people medicine and leave them the fuck alone.” You check her temperature again, brushing aside the stray locks of her hair. Her fever's getting worse, but Momiji doesn't even look slightly sick. Before you know it, you're absentmindedly stroking her head. “I guess I'll let you stay for now. I really doubt you need anything, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and let you rest here. Let me know if you want some aspirin.”

“Nah,” she declines. The wolf tengu nestles her face into your pillow. “I'm okay. I'll just tough it out.”

With Momiji occupying your sleeping quarters, you are suddenly hit with an important question. “If you're going to hog the bed, then where am I going to sleep?”

She rolls over, patting the space to the left of her. “There's still room on the bed.”

“And sleep on the same bed with someone sick? Not a fucking chance.” You suppose the living room couch is open. It'll be a thousand times better than sleeping in the same bed as her. You can't afford to get sick. Who else will pretend to run things and be important at the bar?

“Suit yourself.”

You sit back on your chair. At least Momiji won't bother you while she's resting. Maybe this time, you'll finally get around to updating.

Haha, yeah right.

YOU (Gallus) have joined #thp
Topic for #thp is “Welcome to #THP – The Hat Printer | SITE STATUS: PHOTON A SHIT | MAGICAL FAGS | Archives: http://bit.ly/uwzY0Z | ROYAL RAINBOW! | ❄ LETTY IS COMING ❄ | <Rolan_updated> jokes on them I only vote when it's about to be tied.
<Captain> Okay you were right, that new story in /youkai/ is terrible.
<BDC> it's so fucking bad lol
<Buttlord> Hi Gallus.
<Viridian> Yo, Gallery.
<Gallus> sup
<BDC> it's like reading a generic pre-2000 VN translated by CGRascal
<Anon221> oh no I am late senpai-chan, I need to hurry to class with a toast in my mouth
Anon221 flaunts shoujo sparkles
<Valley> but that actually happened in the story
<Anon221> wwwww really?
<BDC> yeah
<Valley> the worst part about the story is that it's not trying to be ironic so it's just unfiltered bad that never ends
<Bram> yo Qasta, fightan?
<Qasta> Sure.
<Chireiden> that sounds so fucking shit
<Valley> the worst part is how fucking dumb the MC is. If they were trying to emulate retard haremshit MCs then they succeeded
<Viridian> Gallus if you were in a harem situation what would you do?

[ ] Probably just pick the one you like the most.
[ ] Ignore all the girls. Who even cares?
[ ] Pretend to be dense so you can get away with shit.
[Z] Live that shit up like a sultan, belly dancing harem waifus all day erry day.

if you're living the dream live the goddamned dream, don't half ass it.
[x] Probably just pick the one you like the most.
[Z] Live that shit up like a sultan, belly dancing harem waifus all day erry day.

I like this.
[X] Live that shit up like a sultan, belly dancing harem waifus all day erry day.

This option is terrible and something I could imagine Gallus might say sarcastically. You have my support, write-in maker.
[x] Imagining for one second that I'd realize what is going instead of being blind, shonen protagonist style, to all of it...
-[x] ...I'd probably be too busy tripping over my spaghetti to know what to do.
[ ] Pretend to be dense so you can get away with shit.

[x] Imagining for one second that I'd realize what is going instead of being blind, shonen protagonist style, to all of it...
-[x] ...I'd probably be too busy tripping over my spaghetti to know what to do.

[x] Imagining for one second that I'd realize what is going instead of being blind, shonen protagonist style, to all of it...
-[x] ...I'd probably be too busy tripping over my spaghetti to know what to do.


[x] Imagining for one second that I'd realize what is going instead of being blind, shonen protagonist style, to all of it...
-[x] ...I'd probably be too busy tripping over my spaghetti to know what to do.
[x] Imagining for one second that I'd realize what is going instead of being blind, shonen protagonist style, to all of it...
-[x] ...I'd probably be too busy tripping over my spaghetti to know what to do.

This is amazing, and you should feel amazing.
[x] Imagining for one second that I'd realize what is going instead of being blind, shonen protagonist style, to all of it...
-[x] ...I'd probably be too busy tripping over my spaghetti to know what to do.
File 144741571179.jpg - (95.24KB, 1031x860, descartes-meditac3a7c3b5es.jpg) [iqdb]
>She rolls over, patting the space to the left of her. “There's still room on the bed.”
Are you guys really implying you don't want to imagine belly dancing 2hus in their transparent silks?
Like gally could hold his spaghetti long enough to pull it off
Even in his fantasies Gallus is a beta. can't even dream of a harem without a pasta dump.
File 144774951565.jpg - (71.92KB, 850x638, now if she were always that peaceful.jpg) [iqdb]
<Gallus> okay let's be real here and imagine for one second that I realize what's happening instead of being a dumb shonen protagonist
<Gallus> if I weren't dense as a fucking brick, 100% I would be way too busy tripping over my spaghetti to even think about what I would be doing
<Anon221> but wouldn't it be nice to fantasize about your waifu appearing in rl
<Anon221> even if they'd probably think you're weird ww
<Valley> how would you even react to fluffy tails in real life anyway
<BDC> >fluffy tails in real life
<BDC> I'd probably think it's some weird cosplay
<Gallus> I can't even deal with one 2hu how am I going to deal with an entire harem of them
<Gallus> they'd drive me insane
<Viridian> I'd be okay with just my favorite Touhou.
<Chireiden> who's that, Viri?
<Valley> >Gallus: I can't even deal with one 2hu how am I going to deal with an entire harem of them
<Valley> what do you even mean by that
<Viridian> Suika. Suika a cute.
<Gallus> haha no way BDC don't even joke about that
<Valley> you know what would be hilarious?
<Valley> if you showed a 2hu irl THP
<Anon221> >THP >not booru
<Buttlord> >booru
<Buttlord> No!
<Chireiden> 2hus are for browsing work safe christian forums together
<Gallus> anyway I'm tired. I'll see you nerds later
<Buttlord> G'night!
<Viridian> Night.
<BDC> night night

Ugh. Your head's pounding all of a sudden. You hope that you didn't catch anything from Momiji. You can't let yourself get sick. Everything will burn down the second you don't show up to work. It's pretty rare, but you think you're going to turn in for the night early.

You roll back your chair and check up on Momiji. She's sound asleep, snuggled into your thick blankets. You lightly brush the back of your hand against her forehead. Her fever's still pretty bad. It's pretty amazing how Momiji looks so peaceful with a temperature like that. You wonder if that's because she's a wolf tengu or because she's just Momiji.

She stirs, peeking open her eye sleepily. “Mmmh, Gallagher?”

“Sorry,” you whisper. “Did I wake you?”

“Just felt like waking up,” she mumbles, giving you a tiny smile. Momiji flaps her ears and buries herself deeper into the comforter. “Good night, Gally.”

“Good night.” You don't really have the heart to bother her with a biting remark when she's like this. Grabbing the alarm clock from the desk, you softly add: “Sleep well.”

You head over to the living room and go get your spare blanket. When you go and check in the closet, you realize that you lent it to Momiji. Well, since it's technically yours, you might as well go fetch it from next door. After dropping the alarm clock onto the living room table, you go outside and throw open Momiji's door, which is still unlocked. One day, she'll learn. You drape the blanket over yourself and exit with your reward, closing the door behind you. Once you get to your own place, you lock the door and call it a night, throwing yourself onto the couch. Looks like you were tired as hell, because you're out like a light.

The alarm clock screams at you. Strange, you aren't even the slightest bit upset at waking up to the loud blaring. You tap it off and roll off the couch. Despite your shoulders feeling stiff, you feel... oddly rested. It's been a while since you've slept at a reasonable time. Your headache's all gone too.

You have some extra time, so you decide to make a quick breakfast sandwich and grab a banana to eat on the side. Once you finish eating, you take a full-length shower and change into some presentable clothes. Momiji's still fast asleep, snoring softly into your pillow.

[ ] Check up on her fever, but try not to wake her up.
[ ] Get her awake for breakfast before you leave.
[ ] Let her get her rest.
[X] Check up on her fever, but try not to wake her up.

Yeah if she's sick now way is she going to work in that condition. She could spread the illness to others!

><Gallus> I can't even deal with one 2hu how am I going to deal with an entire harem of them

Anyways, you have my squiggly Ƶ
[x] Check her fever
It's not even Saturday night what the hell
[X] Check up on her fever, but try not to wake her up.

Hooray! Write-ins!

I suspect that Momiji might still try to go to work unless we explicitly tell her to take the day off.

Why are we Space Marines now?

Regardless, keep Awoo at home when she's sick! We don't want Awoo getting worse, do we? She should still take short walks to keep her blood pumping and immune system strong, and eat plenty to keep her body fueled!
[x] Check up on her fever, but try not to wake her up.

Rather have her rest up.
its going to be funny when we come home tomorrow to toast and bacon crumbs in our bedsheets.

We'd have to clean it anyway to get rid of the germs.
Updates are in progress, but it's going by slowly. School is going to take some precedence until I finish classes for the semester. Just a heads up.
File 144938412228.png - (202.26KB, 650x1000, recovering miji.png) [iqdb]
You still have some more time to kill. You have just enough time to make some breakfast for Momiji as well. It's important to keep a sick person nourished. Even if that amounts to having a sandwich, an apple, and a banana in the morning. You make another sandwich for Momiji and give her some extra fruit. The only problem is that she's still asleep. Well, whatever. You'll leave her food on the desk next to the bed. You get Momiji a plate and saran wrap the food inside. Dropping the plate next to the sleeping wolf tengu, you get prepared to leave.

Wait a second. If you leave without telling Momiji to take a day off, you know for a fact that she'll head straight to work as soon as she wakes up. You go grab couple of sticky notes and slap them right next to the food as well as on the computer. Knowing her, Momiji might not even notice the sticky notes if you don't put them everywhere. So you do. Throwing on your jacket, you take one last look at her. She seems to be sleeping peacefully. Well, that's good. You lock the door and head out for work.

It feels weird to not have Momiji as you walk through the streets. It's oddly peaceful and quiet outside. Is it how it feels to not have the wolf tengu bother you in the morning? The trip to the pub is fairly quick and easy. You unlock the front door and go straight to the kitchen. Momiji's work space is immaculate – thank the fucking stars. Every cook you hired so far has had a habit of leaving a giant mess behind their station.

A little before opening time, Cassie comes rushing in. She's the first to arrive, so you point her over to the bar. “Hey Cassie, mind doing me a favor and working the bar? We're a bit understaffed today.”

She nods, rolling up her sleeves. “Can do. Are you planning on sleeping in the office again?”

“No. Also, I never do that.” You take off you jacket, folding it over your arm. “Cook's on sick leave today, so I'll be filling in.”

“Pfft,” snorts Cassie. “Isn't it weird for the manager to be doing menial labor?”

“If we weren't so understaffed, I'd say yes.” You throw your jacket over to Cassie, prompting her to go and hang it. “It's actually amazing how we operate the bar with so little people. I actually think we're fucked if everybody gets sick at the same time.”

Cassie hops behind the bar, resting her arms on the table counter. “Maybe we should start looking for more employees?”

“I'll consider it, but I want some input from the owner before we do.” You shake your head in disgust. “If that fucker were ever here.”

You get to the kitchen, throwing on one of the spare aprons on the counter. There are no hair nets, so you'll make do with a hat. The next thing you do is pull up a chair and sit around until you're called to make some food.

Lily comes barging in through the kitchen doors. “Hey, Cook! I need your he– oh! Boss, why are you in the kitchen?”

“Cook is sick, so I'll be filling in.” You cross my arms and shoo her away. “Now, if you aren't here to give me an order, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.”

“There are no customers right now!” Lily says, pouting. “Rylee will come get me when work starts to pick up anyway.”

“I just want my peace and quiet before people give me shit about how they spent twenty dollars on fried chicken.” You lean further down into my chair. “Somehow, it's always my fault and not the customer's.”

“You know what's crazy? Only one person has attempted to fight Cook so far!” Lily nods slowly, scratching her chin thoughtfully. “I'm pretty sure any other person would have been sent to the hospital or quit by now.”

“Well, Cook is one of a kind.” Really, Momiji is. For a lot of reasons. “Probably the first competent employee I've had in a while.”

“What about me?” Lily whines, pointing to herself.

“What about you?” you say, shaking your head.

“So mean,” she sulks.

Rylee creaks open the door, glaring at Lily. “Hey. We're getting to work now. Hurry up.”

“Alright!” Lily perks up, rushing to get outside. She passes by her fellow employee and disappears into the pub.

Rylee just raises one eyebrow at you before closing the door shut. Thank god. It's just you and the kitchen now.

Or so you hoped. Already, there's a customer screaming for you. By now, it's almost a tradition for a greenhorn customer to shit-talk the cook. You know you shouldn't exchange words with the idiot, but you exit out of the kitchen anyway.

“The cook is shit! Tell him that the food is way too shitty for what you're charging us!” A girthy man is heckling Rylee. She's busy ignoring the belligerent customer, instead clearing the table adjacent to him.

“It's a bar,” you step in, sighing. You're tired of hearing the same shit about the cook. It's getting old and repetitive. “Get over it.”

“It's disgusting how terrible the service is. I want to talk to the manager,” he growls, jabbing his finger at you. “I should get you fired for this.”

“I am the manager, you dumbass.” Unbelievable. How new can this faggot get? “You can't fire me even if you wanted to.”

The man, clenching his fists, looks like he's about to say something.“Oh, so you want to–”

“Hold that thought,” you cut him off. You can see someone through the window, approaching the bar. It's fucking Momiji. Jesus fuck. You head over to the door, leaving behind the asshole for Rylee to handle. She looks thrilled. As soon as Momiji enters the premises, you tell her nicely, “Cook. What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Work,” she says simply.

“I told you to take a fucking sick day.” You run your hand through your hair, grimacing. Either Momiji ignored your notes, or she didn't notice. Either way, she is still an idiot. “You're sick. Go home. You're not allowed to be here.”

“But I feel alright now,” replies Momiji, placing the back of her hand on her forehead. “The fever I had yesterday subsided. It would be a waste to go back."

God fucking dammit.

[ ] Send her back home.
[ ] Leave her in the back office for now. Deal with her later.
[ ] Leave her in the back office for now. Deal with her later.

A woo for later.
[X] Leave her in the back office for now. Deal with her later.
[X] Leave her in the back office for now. Deal with her later.
[X] Leave her in the back office for now. Deal with her later.
[x] Leave her in the back office for now

Updates? What is this sorcery?!
[X] Leave her in the back office for now. Deal with her later.

Why is Awoo here?

Does An Awoo have an Excuse for herself?
[X] Leave her in the back office for now. Deal with her later.

I hope "deal with her later" means what I think it means.
A firm talking to.
File 14496432187.jpg - (217.45KB, 509x672, HELLO IT'S ME YOUR FAVORITE 2HU.jpg) [iqdb]
Gallagher sits Momiji down in the back office. Holding his hand up, he stops Momiji from standing back up. “I actually have something very important to tell you.” Gallagher pauses, a worried look flashing through his eyes.

The wolf tengu leans in, eager to listen. She smiles, playing with the drawstrings of her hoodie. “Go on and tell me already.”

He grabs her shoulders and presses his face close to hers, inching toward her ears. In a whisper, he breathes, “I have a confession.”

Momiji immediately jumps back, falling out of her chair. She topples over, bringing Gallagher along with her. She drops to the floor, pinned under Gallagher's body. “Wowowowow waaaait just a second! The order is all wrong. At least buy me dinner before you f–”

Just then, the door to the back office is kicked open. From the corner of her eyes, Momiji can see... geta. The color drains from the wolf's face. “Heeey there, fuckos! Aya's here to ruin everything that you love and cherish!”

“What,” chokes back Momiji, “Where did you fucking come from–”

“Tut, tut!” Aya swoops in and snatches away Gallagher from Momiji. “Sorry, but I'm stealing this. He's already mine.”

“Oh yeah?” Momiji narrows her eyes, jumping to her feet. She rolls up the sleeves of her hoodie, scowling. She breaks into a run, lunging at the bird. “Since when?”

“Oh... you know.” Aya dodges left, easily avoiding the wolf. The crow hoists Gallagher to her shoulder. “Since now.”

“Aya,” the human groans, “I just love how irrelevant you are to this plot. I'd be happy if it stayed that way.”

“See?” The crow beams, shaking the human back and forth giddily. “He loves me.”

“That was sarcasm, you fucktard!” Momiji shouts, about to pop a blood vessel. She jumps forward, trying to tackle the crow tengu into the ground.

Aya crashes through the window and out into the open sky, causing a huge scene. Momiji, in return screams obscenities at the crow.

And suddenly, Gallagher thought to himself, everything is terrible. “What the fuck, Aya. I have work. Where are we going?”

Aya licks her lips. “To fuck!”

“That does not answer my question, you bird-brain!” Gallagher cries, the wind almost overtaking his voice. “Aya, are you even listening?”

Before the crow disappears into the sky, she yells out to her fellow tengu, “Haw haw, you thought you'd win just because you were the only touhou? Jokes on you! Don't you know what the title of this story is?”

“HEEY,” Momiji yells out the shattered window. “FUCK YOUUUUUUU.”

Real update sometime later. Finals are on the way so don't expect anything quick.
>An excuse for a-choo

The title is the joke that keeps on giving.

>Aya hijack

You can't cut back on Momiji! You'll regret this!
>An excuse for a-choo

The title is the joke that keeps on giving.

>Aya hijack

You can't cut back on Momiji! You'll regret this!
Aya is just bringing Gallagher back to the fold of her church. For a church leader, she's rather forgiving.
File 145058639029.png - (0.96MB, 708x850, the office and awoo.png) [iqdb]
“No, really, I'm okay!” Momiji grins, folding her arms in confidence. “I recover quick, I swear.”

Lily passes by the entrance. “Oh?” She points out Momiji and looks over to you in surprise. “I thought Cook was taking a sick day.”

“Cook is taking a sick day.” You narrow your eyes at the wolf tengu. Momiji is not an avid listener – you know that. “Cook, you're not allowed in the kitchen today.”

Momiji huffs, obviously disgruntled about the situation. “I'm already here at work though. What am I going to do?”

“I'm glad you asked.” You lead her to the office and sit her down on your chair. “Sit down for a second. You can stay here, you can leave, or you can do literally anything else that does not involve work. That clear?”

“Whaaaat,” she sighs. Momiji rests her arms on the table, leaning forward on the chair. “Lame. Am I still getting paid?”

“No.” And on that note, you leave the tengu to her own devices and head to over to the kitchen. In no less than five minutes after you arrive, an incessant knocking at the door interrupts your work. Not that you were actually cooking yet but you hate to be bothered.

Momiji's muffled voice leaks through the door. “Let me in. I want to work. I'm bored.”

“No,” you repeat. “Go away. You're going to get all the customers sick.”

It takes another five minutes to send her away. You would have let her in, but employee policy is to have her rest, so dammit, she is going to rest whether she likes it or not.

Once you chase away Momiji, you heat up the stove. It's been so long since you've worked as a cook. You almost forgot how serene the kitchen is on a slow day. You don't need to talk to anyone. All you have to do is keep the stoves ready and occasionally make some food. Granted, if you worked anywhere but here, it would mean real work and real cooking. Luckily, that's not the case. The Morning Spirits Pub thankfully has no standards. God bless this shithole.

You somehow manage to last through the lunch and dinner hours. Though you didn't do anything that would be considered work, you're glad that it's now all over. You make sure to double check if every stove is off: can't have the bar burning down, after all. You switch the lights off and head over to the back office. Momiji's still there, her eyes fixated on the computer monitor. She's clicking away at something. It's THP. You're not really surprised anymore. “What are you looking through?”

“An Excuse for Aya.” Momiji pulls away from the monitor, scowling at herself. “It's... cute. Too bad the story is wasting on a shithead. If I pretend it's some other crow tengu and not Aya, I can stop myself from throwing up. But you know, I think I did a much better job in the real world than the Aya in this story.”

“Yeah. Much better.” Your thoughts drift back to An Excuse for Aya. “If I had to deal with her, I think I would have already lost it by now.”

“Now imagine every day with Aya.” Momiji's face quickly darkens. “She's like that all the time, except way more of an asshole than you could ever imagine.”

“You can complain about Aya later.” You nod over to the door. “I've had enough of work. It's about time to head home.”

“What, is that an invitation to your place?” She grins, hopping off the chair.

“Not in the slightest.” You usher Momiji outside and lock up the office. You head over to Lily, letting her know that you're done for the day. Nodding to her quickly, you say, “I'll be heading out now. Could you lock up when the customers are all out?”

“Yeah. Leave it to me!” Lily grabs the spare keys and twirls its chain around her finger. “I'll let the others know.”

“Alright.” You give her a short wave before leaving the pub, joining Momiji.

Pulling up the hood over her cap, the wolf tugs at her hoodie's drawstrings. “I'm hungry.”

“Good for you,” you reply. She frowns at you and slaps your shoulder. After a moment, you ask, “Did you eat lunch?”

“Oops, haha,” she chuckles sheepishly. “I forgot to.”

“I'm sure you were too busy doing nothing in the office, right?”

“Oh hush.” Momiji rolls her eyes. Then, with a gasp of realization, she grabs your shoulder and pulls you closer to her. “Hey. You know what? We should go eat out somewhere. I never got to do that yet. It'll be fun.”

Hmm. On one hand, it'll save you some time from preparing your own food. You're pretty tired of doing that today. On the other hand, you're giving Momiji a reward for doing her job... by not doing her job.

...Wait. That sounds like a win-win situation.

[ ] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.
[ ] Don't be soft. Spoiling Momiji now will only make her bother you more later.
[Ƶ] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.

This is how you train a dog. You told her to sit and stay, and she sat all day. Now you reinforce the behavior by giving her a reward.
[x] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.

as if gally-kun could ever be anything but the softest anyways
[x] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.
[X] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.

Please Marol, did you expect otherwise_
[x] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.
[X] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.
[x] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.

It's not like he's doing it because he l-likes you or anything! He just doesn't wanna' deal with your whining all night if he says no!
[x] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.

It's a bit unfair to have your own story directly referenced.
The title of the first thread was "An Excuse for An Excuse for Aya". It contained the then-unnamed Gallagher raging over some dumbass who necroed AEfA. Fair or not fair be damned, this story is a reference.
[X] Indulge Momiji. You don't really feel like cooking anyway.
File 145081550840.png - (325.90KB, 823x1000, miji's pleased.png) [iqdb]
“You know what? That sounds good to me.” You feel pretty bad about making Momiji wait around in the office... even though it was her fault. “Didn't feel like cooking anyway.” You don't have a clue where to eat but for now, you'll wander around the path back home. The two of you pass by a burger joint. “Ever had a burger before?”

“Nope.” Momiji's eyes light up. You can tell that she has decided to eat by the way she's already dragging you inside. “Let's do that.”

“Okay.” You wait behind a few customers. The line isn't too long since it's already past dinnertime. Turning to Momiji, you ask, “Do you like cheese?”

She shrugs. “I have no opinion on it.”

“Cheeseburger it is.” Momiji also skipped lunch. Maybe you should order the full combo, with fries, and all that jazz. Yeah. You'll go with that. When it's your turn to order, you order a cheeseburger for yourself and a full meal for Momiji. While you're at it, you'll pay for her food, since it'll be a hassle to try and split it.

“How long will it be until it's prepared?” She peers over the cashiers to try and get a good look at the preparation of her burger. “Thirty minutes? An hour?”

“More like a couple of minutes. Watch and be amazed at the marvels of the twenty-first century.” You point over to her meal, which is already prepared and ready for consumption.

“Truly,” Momiji says, “this is the pinnacle of humanity. Permission to wipe these tears from my unworthy eyes?”

You nod solemnly, taking the food over to a table, “You may.” You pour her some Coke from the soda fountain as she pretends to wipe fake tears from her eyes.

“I have a question.” Momiji points over to the burger. “How do I eat this?”

“With your hands.” You pick up your burger to demonstrate. Then, slowly, you take a bite out of it. “Very simple stuff. No utensils necessary.”

“And these?” She points to the fries.

You steal one of her fries. “Same thing.”

Momiji sits there and looks over her food in silence. She takes a moment to pick up the burger, gingerly bite into, and chew. “This is normal?”

“Normal people eat burgers and fries with their hands, yes.” Your burger is finished. It was good, but fast food always leaves you with a lingering feeling of regret.

And Momiji is wolfing down her– god dammit. Wolfing. You hate yourself. She looks over to you, raising an eyebrow. “Something wrong?” She grins and reaches over to pat your arm.

“No, it's– ugh, it's nothing.” What a terrible pun. And yet, you almost cracked a smile at that one. “And get your greasy fingers off me.”

Laughing, Momiji wipes her fingers on your cheek. “What if I don't?”

“Oh, fuck you,” you groan, slapping away her hand. You grab a few napkins and wipe both your hand and face.

She giggles. “So this is a date, right?”

“Hahaha,” you laugh drily. “No. This is the furthest thing from a date.”

“Then?” Momiji pops a french-fry into her mouth. “What's your ideal date?”

“Walking down a beach alone, away from all the shitheads I know.”

“And you wonder why people think you're gay!” Momiji jabs a finger at you. “Do you hate everyone that much?”

“No.” You throw away your trash and put the tray on top of the bin. “But on the spectrum of don't-like to like, I can safely say that I don't like the majority of people. But you're alright.” Momiji's about done with her food. “Ready to go soon?”

“Yeah.” She goes and puts away her tray. “Back to your place?”

“Go home,” you say. But if she invades your home again, you'll probably be too tired to stop her. Whatever.

The moment you unlock your door, Momiji's already heading inside. As you lock the door, she pounces on you, wrapping you in a big hug. “Thanks for the food~”

“Ew, get off me you can still get me sick.” You push her off. “By the way. Did you eat your breakfast?”


“...Did you read the note?”

“Yeah. Said to take the day off.” Momiji shrugs. “I thought it was more of a recommendation than an order.”

“God dammit.” You run through your hair in irritation. “On further notice, if I tell you to take a day of, please take a day off.”

“Okay,” nods Momiji. “But can I work tomorrow?”

“Yeah. It's been a full day and you seem like you recovered fully.” You throw yourself onto your chair, reclining back. “Just try not to get your germs everywhere.”

“Hmm,” she murmurs. She takes her usual place: your bed. “Anyway, what are you doing for Christmas?”

What. “Is it Christmas soon?”

“Gally,” Momiji frowns. “Do you even look at the calendar? We've only got a few days. Let's do something fun.”

“Don't go and make plans for me. I might be busy on Christmas.”

“Well,” she says. “Are you?”


The wolf tengu grins and clasps her hands in excitement. “Looks like you're stuck with me then!”

“I've had worse Christmases,” you reply. “I guess I can deal with another shitty Christmas.”

She chuckles. “What, like being all alone on Christmas with only alcohol to keep you company?”

You swivel your chair to face her. With a straight face, you tell her, “That's the only kind of Christmas I want.”

“Lame,” Momiji scoffs. “What about New Years?”

“I work on New Years Eve and deal with cleaning up the day after. You can take the day off if you want. I don't require any newbies to deal with the shit that happens during New Years work shifts.”

“Nah. I'll work if you work.” The wolf tengu flashes you a confident smile. “I'm probably the best cook you've ever had.”

“That's not saying much.”

“I guess that's true.” Momiji rolls around in your bed for a while before she gets this weird, giddy expression on her face. “Hey.”


She sits up. “Want to have a casual drink tonight?”

“Define casual.” You've seen how Momiji drinks. You have no clue what “casual” means to her.

“A few beers.” Her ears twitch from under her hat. “I never had beer, but I think today is a good day to try.”

“I can get behind that.” You look over to the kitchen. “Though, I don't think I have anything but hard liquor here.”

“Let's go buy some then!” Momiji jumps off your bed. “I'll pay. It'll be a good use of my paycheck.”

“That's fine with me. To the liquor store, then?”

The wolf grins, pulling you along. “Yeah.”
Everything's looking up!
How the hell does Momiji know about Christmas?
She's new to the Outside, not ignorant of it.
File 145101191950.jpg - (141.42KB, 850x850, merry christmas THP.jpg) [iqdb]
It's December 25th... or at least, you think it is. You throw the blanket over yourself. If you woke up now and discovered that you slept through all of Christmas, you wouldn't be surprised. Right now, the only present you want is some more sleep. A series of knocks stops you from doing that. You curse to yourself and stumble off the bed. Your clock reads 3:12 P.M. It's way too early to be woken up on Christmas. There are many possibilities who the idiot banging at your door is, but judging by how your door is already open, you could only guess that it's Momiji.

“Gally.” Fucking Momiji. She brings in a wide box. “It's Christmas. I went ahead and got you a gift.”

“Urgh,” you respond. You are not a morning person. Granted, three in the afternoon is not really morning, but it's pretty much morning to you.

“Pff, merry Christmas to you too.” She takes off her hat, letting loose her bound ears. “Listen. Your gift is great. I can't imagine how you'd be disappointed with it.”

“I wasn't expecting a gift in the first place,” you say. The box is unwrapped, but it's pretty wide in length. If anything, the present is making you curious about its contents. “I didn't get you a gift, though. My bad.”

“That's fine.” Momiji places the box on the table. She throws off her hoodie and places it on the head of her chair. “Your gift is also my gift to myself. This present is ours. It's a token of our friendship or something like that. Now go on. Open it!”

You open the top. Inside, is just a fucking handle of vodka. Unbranded. What the hell. “Momiji.”

“See? We can share your present.” Momiji is having a good time, giggling at her own present. “Now, get out the glasses!”

You cover your face with your hands. Unbelievable. Momiji is fucking unbelievable. You get two glasses from the cupboard, handing one to her “This is a lot like the Christmas that I described to you a few days back.”

“Yeah.” The wolf tengu pulls you in by your shoulder. “But you're not alone!”

“If only.” You pour both Momiji and yourself the first of many to come. “Then it would have been a perfect Christmas.”

So you drink.
And you drink.
And drink.

Oh, alcohol. May you bring eternal joy to Christmas. You try and slow the wolf tengu down. While you are okay to drink the entire handle between you and Momiji, downing the entire thing in the course of a few hours may not be the smartest idea.

“You're doing pretty well to keep up with me!” Momiji doesn't seem fazed, but there is an obvious tinge of red in her cheeks. Still, you're not going to underestimate how well a tengu can drink.

“You have to be able to hold your alcohol to be the manager of the Morning Spirits Pub.” You spin the shot glass with your finger, twirling it by the rim. “At least, that's what my old boss told me. Then again, I never really took any of her words to heart. She was a fucking alcoholic.”

“Yeah?” Momiji places her elbows on the table, propping her face up with her hands. “Where is she now?”

“Who knows.” You lift the cup to your lips and let the vodka burn down your throat. “One day she just upped and disappeared. Didn't say a fucking word to any of us employees. That was the day I got promoted.”

“Heh, that's funny.” She smirks at the thought. “The pub has a track record of disappearing bosses, doesn't it?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” You pour some more for both Momiji and yourself. "I still don't know where the owner or the co-manager is."

“Oh, before you pass out. I have another present for you.”

You shake your head at the girl. “What, another handle?” Momiji takes out a tiny box from her pocket and opens it. Inside is... cilantro? You're baffled. “Okay, what the fuck is that?”

And Momiji, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, says, “It's mistletoe!”

“...Miji,” you sigh.

“What is it, Gally?” She has a smug little look on her face.

“This looks like something I'd put on top of a dish as a garnish. This,” you say, motioning towards the thing, “is not a mistletoe.”

Momiji ignores you, wiggling it over her head. She laughs noisily to herself. “Merry Christmas, Gallagher!”

“It's not even New Years and I already hate you,” you groan. Taking another shot of vodka, you murmur, “Merry Christmas, Miji.”
File 145102198752.jpg - (53.07KB, 843x474, 10644223_370165053108509_7006402597397660356_o.jpg) [iqdb]

File 145103230116.jpg - (108.39KB, 800x572, le moral face.jpg) [iqdb]
>Dissapearing bosses

File 145137766640.jpg - (39.36KB, 305x380, ba_2.jpg) [iqdb]
*tips bartender's cap*
File 145284277746.jpg - (164.26KB, 850x601, cushion privilege.jpg) [iqdb]
The floor's fucking cold. You wake yourself up with a fit of coughs. Your movement's all sluggish, too. Man, how long has it been since you've actually felt the booze in your system? You aren't sure whether you are happy or sad that it took an actual tengu to drink you under the table. How many drinks did the two of you drink? Momiji really needs to calm down with her alcohol. It only got worse after Christmas and New Year. She is thankfully passed out on the couch – you faintly remember an argument about who gets cushion privilege. Judging by the fact that you woke up on the ground, you are sure that you lost that one.

Stifling a yawn, you glance over at the clock. It's about 5:30 A.M. A bit earlier than usual, but you don't really mind – you would have woken up to dehydration sooner or later. Better get some water. You drag yourself to the kitchen and dip your head under the faucet. You don't really feel like getting out a cup right now. The cold water pouring down your throat is a welcome feeling.

When you come back over to the couch, the blanket's on the floor and Momiji's tumbling around on the couch. What a hopeless girl. You get the comforter and throw it over the tengu. She pulls back on it and falls over to the other half of the couch's cushions, turning over with a satisfied sigh.

You take a moment to look at Momiji. She looks completely at peace with herself. Doesn't look like the alcohol's gotten to her at all. You're a bit jealous. Her ears are unguarded and in full view for you to see. Not like she cares. Her fluffy white hair's all disheveled – it just makes you want to run your fingers through her hair a little.

So you do. You brush her hair with your fingers, running them to the side. It takes a moment to register that you're doing something fucking weird. You pull your hand away from her immediately.

“Mmmh, Gally?” Momiji stirs, a sleepy murmur coming from her. “Whatcha doing?”

“Something.” You aren't one to act on your compulsions... but what the fuck was that? “I think I'm still drunk.”

“Hehe,” she chuckles drowsily. “I knew you couldn't keep up with me. Can't beat a tengu at her own game.”

You frown at the wolf tengu. “...Didn't I match you yesterday?”

“Not that I recall.” Momiji drapes the blanket over herself and sits up on the couch. “What time is it?”

“Like five-forty-ish.” You take a look at the clock. Just a few minutes off.

With a coy smile, she asks, “Want to skip work?”

“Ha-ha,” you humor her with a dry laugh, “very funny. We can't afford to skip work.”

“So when can I cash in my vacation days?”

You give her a half-assed shrug. “As soon as the place shuts down for good.”

“Alright. I'm taking your word for it.” She smirks. “You'll give me my vacation time as soon as the pub dies. We'll go off and have some fun then! Of course, I'll be compensated during those days, right?”

“...Just how soon do you think the pub will close down?”

Momiji reclines back on the couch. “A month?”

“You know, I wouldn't count against it. Anyway.” You point to your door. “Go clean up. We should get ready for work soon.”

“Sure!” On that note, Momiji heads straight over to your shower. Typical. You're not even surprised anymore. While she's here, you'll go reheat some cold pizza. You don't really feel like doing real cooking.

You're already finished with two slices when Momiji exits your shower. She comes out with her hair still a little wet. “One second.” The tengu briefly leaves your place, walking one door over. She comes back with a blue hoodie. It has a bland white star in the middle. Returning to the table, she hungrily eyes the rest of the pizza. “That for me?”

“Help yourself.” You offer her a plate.

“And I eat this with my hands, right?” Momiji seems absolutely delighted.


“Great. I'm a natural at this!” She clasps her hands in excitement.

“At what, eating?” you groan.

"Yeah." She grabs a slice and takes a bite out of it. “I happen to be one of the best.”

“Whatever. You do your eating thing. I'm going to wash up.” If there's anything good about Momiji stealing your shower, it's that she warms up the water for you. You don't have to worry about cold water when you turn that shit on. Since you woke up early, you can do more than just the quick rinse-and-lather. You almost doze off – you have to turn off the shower and grab a towel before you actually fall asleep inside.

Momiji's already done with the entire pizza by the time you finish your shower. You would be mad, but you just don't have it in you today.

“So,” she mumbles with her mouth full, “Why'd you do that thing before?”

You dry your hair with your towel before turning to Momiji. “What thing?”

“You know.” She points to her head. “That thing.”

“You assume that I know what the fuck I'm doing.” You give her a half-hearted shrug. “But the thing is, I never know what the fuck I'm doing – ever.”

“Well then.” The wolf tengu dips her head slightly, just barely leaning forward towards you. “Want to do it again?”


[ ] “Yeah, why not.”
[ ] “Since you asked nicely... no.”
[x] “Yeah, why not.”
[X] “Yeah, why not.”
I want to see "that thing."
[x] “Yeah, why not.”
[x] “Yeah, why not.”
[x] “Yeah, why not.”
Head scratches are best
[x] “Yeah, why not.”

Since she's asking us, it's not as weird.
File 145286174198.png - (635.11KB, 1000x1050, 2f27c413e85d4b7bb7514c96b1008fc7.png) [iqdb]
[x]Pet the awoo.

It's our destiny.
>You brush her hair with your fingers, running them to the side. It takes a moment to register that you're doing something fucking weird.
Hnnnng. Gallus is the modern tsundere.

[x] "Yeah, why not."
[x]Pet the awoo.

this is important.
[X] “Yeah, why not.”

There is no other path.
[x] "Yeah, why not."
[X] “Since you asked nicely... no.”
[x] “Since you asked nicely... no.”

Counter-troll before we are trolled. It's the only way to be sure!
[X] “Yeah, why not.”
[x]Pet the awoo.
The only choice
[x] “Since you asked nicely... sure, why not.”
Hah. Like we have a choice.
[x] “Since you あsked nicely... sure, why not.”
Gonna be on hiatus for a bit. School's been rough.
File 145673330242.jpg - (177.29KB, 850x1202, mji21.jpg) [iqdb]
The update is proceeding, albeit very slowly. It's going to take a little more time because I have a couple of exams to take this week, but I promise that I have written actual substance. If I don't get this update by the end of the week, I am obligated to write something that THP gets to decide on. Even if that means dirty things like hand-holding.

Have slightly miffed 'miji.
so what I'm getting from this is

"please distract me from writing for a week so I can write lewd handholding"
File 145681967149.gif - (1.14MB, 500x280, PET PET PET.gif) [iqdb]
With an exhale, you sigh, “You're just fucking with me, aren't you?”

Momiji gives you a pair of doe eyes. “I have no idea what you are even talking about.” But she lowers her head again and flattens her ears for you to pat.

“Yeah, well... why not. If you insist.” You gingerly move your hand through her hair, tracing around her ears with the back of your fingers. You eventually reach the side of her head, so you move your hand back and forth gently.

The wolf tengu chuckles to herself. “Haha, I knew you couldn't resist.”

You leer at the damn wolf. “What are you talking about? You asked me to do this, you dingus.”

“You can't ever be honest with yourself, can you?” Momiji clicks her tongue at you haughtily. “Gallagher, I have to admit that it's your biggest weakness.”

“Ever consider that you're getting a little too honest with me?” You squint over to the wolf. “I understand that you're comfortable here, but can you at least attempt to mind your own damn business?”

“Hmmm,” she pauses to think about it for just about half a second. Then, happily smiling, she says, “No.”

“Oh, fuck you,” you mutter over to her. Momiji responds by laughing, probably at you. In her fit of giggles, she leans back on her chair, causing her to topple over. That would have been fine if her first response weren't to drag you along with her. The wolf reaches for your arm and pulls you down with her.The chair clatters to the ground with a crack. You fall right on top of the girl.

Momiji looks straight into your eyes, grinning. “What, you weren't satisfied with just patting my head?”

“You and I both know that you started this.” Great. Now you're some sort of harem protagonist. Now all you need is a retard flock of girls and you have yourself a show. Oh, wait a god damn minute. You get off of Momiji and upright the chair. “And if I haven't made myself clear, Momiji: get your own personal space, please.”

“Embarrassed?” She asks, giggling all the while.

“Shut up,” you gruffly reply. “Let's just get to work.”

“Speaking of.” Momiji sits up on the floor. “How'd it go yesterday? You know, without having a cook and all?”

“I filled in. Don't ever let me do that again.” You shake your head. “I expect no more selfish demands like getting sick.”

She rolls her eyes. “Of course not. The next time I choose to get sick, I will let you know a week prior to.”

You head for the door and put on your shoes. “I won't allow for a next time. You've already used up your sick day.”

Coming to the pub early, Momiji and you lounge around the bar and wait for the other employees to come filing in. “Y'know,” you start, “I'd imagine all hell would break loose if I ever took a sick day. I mean, it's not like I really do anything ninety percent of the time I'm here but I think all hell would break loose if I weren't here for the remaining ten percent.”

Momiji glances over, raising her eyebrows at you. “So what are you going to do if you get sick?”

“I'm thinking about it. I might actually make an effort to locate the owner. The co-manager can go fuck himself though.” In the end, the owner has to come by sometime. And if not, you can probably find out where he is after a few phone calls from the office. You wonder if he even really cares about the place.

The first of your employees arrives through the door. It's Rylee. You greet her with a quick nod.

Rylee replies with the same to you. As she turns her attention to Momiji, Rylee's instantly taken aback. Mostly out of surprise, she adds, “Boss. Is that cosplay or what?”

Momiji instantly slaps her hands on her head, covering her ears. Shit. She didn't put on a hat today, did she? She forgot.

[ ] “I dunno, ask Cook.”
[ ] “Cook thinks it's cute or something.”
[ ] “What, you know what cosplay is?”
[ ] Don't say a word, just shrug.
[X] Don't say a word, just shru--
[X]--Blurt out "Wait a second, do you have four ears?!" in sudden realization.
[X]“What, you know what cosplay is?”
We can troll with feigned gay some other time.
[X] Don't say a word, just shrug.

Let us bulldoze all concerns with the power of apathy.

There's nothing so strange a loud enough "meh" can't give it its own SEP field.
[X] Don't say a word, just shrug.
[X] Don't say a word, just shrug.

The Boss can't be arsed to care about his minion's quirk.
[X]“What, you know what gay cosplay is?”
[X] Don't say a word, just shrug.
[X] Don't say a word, just shrug.
[x] >>63235

His dry tone can suck curiosity and cheerfulness in a 2 mile radius

Though it;s tempting, I'mma have to go with

[X] “What, you know what cosplay is?”

Gotta' keep up the gay charade, after all. Imagine the shame if protag came out that he was straight.
[X] “What, you know what cosplay is?”
[x] Well Rylee, when a man loves a man...
[x] Too good to pass up
[X] “What, you know what cosplay is?”
[X] Don't say a word, just shrug.
[X] Don't say a word, just shru--
[X]--Blurt out "Wait a second, do you have four ears?!" in sudden realization.
[X] "Well, um, don't you know what cosplay is?"
[x] “What, you know what cosplay is?”
[X] Shrug.
[>] “What, you know what cosplay is?”
X] "Wait, do you have four ears?"
[x] Don't say a word, just shrug.
Called for shrugs.
File 145853741094.png - (529.23KB, 800x960, ponytail miji.png) [iqdb]
You're not going to fall into that trap. Not a word is going to escape your lips about Momiji's ears. Turning around to tend to the pub, you throw Rylee a half-assed shrug and get ready to open up shop.

“What does that even mean?” asks Rylee. You promptly ignore your employee and return to your business. You give the bar a quick wipe down... not that you're going to get any customers to serve today. While your other employee is busy waiting for your response, Momiji wordlessly puts on her hood and slinks away to the kitchen, leaving Rylee alone and frustrated. “So, what? You're not going to bat an eye to that?”

Glancing lazily over to Rylee, you say,“To what?”

“The whole wearing ears and stuff.” She shifts her vision over to the kitchen door. “Plus, their hair.”

“Nah. Don't really care about what kind of albino Cook is.” Your flippant answer is met with a face of disbelief. You're not going to pay it any mind. Gotta do what it takes to hide your power level. If Rylee caught wind of this, you'd be stuck in a real shithole of a situation. “Anyway, let's get ready to work. Open the doors once Cassie and Lily gets here, okay?”

Exhaling, Rylee replies with, “Yeah, I got it,” before heading over to the front of the pub.

So Rylee assumes that Momiji is 'wearing' her ears. That's fine with you. After a while, Rylee will probably forget all about it and it will old news. Sure, she might think Cook is a total fucking weirdo but that's for Momiji to explain and not you. In any case, you don't particularly want to deal with any unnecessary work. You head behind the bar and take a seat, throwing your arms over the table. You prop your head up with your hands and watch over your employees do their stuff.

Lily, Cassie, and Rylee all operate the tables on their own. To be honest, you aren't sure how they do it. It's rather scary how fast everybody fell into routine. Even though the bar will eventually go under, it's comforting to know that they've grown accustomed to working here. That reminds you. You have a business report to submit to the owner... wherever he is. After a minute of delibration, you decide to postpone it until tomorrow – the guy never shows up anyway. For today, you're going to sit back and watch your employees work in peace.

The day goes by slowly – probably because you did nothing but sit there until closing time.

“Gonna close up, boss?” Lily, in the middle of putting her coat on, acknowledges you.

“Yeah.” You lean back on your chair, giving your arms a good stretch. “Go on ahead.”

“Okay!” Cassie waves goodbye. “See ya, boss.”

“Bye.” Today was an uneventful, boring day. Thank god. You thumb the edges of your stab wound. The less shit that happens in the pub, the better. From the corner of your eye, you can see Rylee pace back and forth around the entrance. You raise a curious eyebrow. “What are you up to?”

Rylee folds her arms, lost in thought. “Holy shit, I think Cook is a girl.”

You blink. “Come again?”

Rylee says nothing and instead immediately turns around to face an approaching Momiji. “Cook. We need to talk.”

“Sure.” Warily, Momiji pulls on the drawstrings of her hoodie slightly. “About what?”

Without missing a beat, Rylee replies, “Have you ever considered putting on some makeup? I think it'd look good with your soft features.”

“Uh. What.” Momiji shakes her head. “Makeup's not my thing. But why do you ask?”

“Don't worry about it.” Embarrassed, Rylee rubs her shoulder and shakes her head. She picks up her jacket and heads to the entrance. “Forget I said anything. Good night.”

As soon as Rylee is gone, Momiji slouches, leaning back on the wall.

“Tough night?” you ask Momiji.

“Man. She wouldn't get off my back all day. Always had something to say to me. I thought she was gonna say something about my ears.” The tengu scrunches her nose in irritation. “The customers always had a complaint or two to send my way as well.”

You shrug. “Do you want a medal for your services?”

“Oh, leave me alone,” huffs Momiji, stuffing her hands in the pocket of her hoodie.

[ ] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two.”
[ ] “Okay. If you say so.”
[x] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two.”
[X] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two.”
[x] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two. Or three. Or four. However much it takes for a tengu to unwind."
[X] “Okay. If you say so.”
[x] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two. Or three. Or four. However much it takes for a tengu to unwind."
[x] A medal made of beer caps!
[x] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two. Or three. Or four. However much it takes for a tengu to unwind."

Fastest way to empty our wallet next to buying drinks to an oni. But worth every penny.
[x] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two. Or three. Or four. However much it takes for a tengu to unwind."

Drunk/buzzed Momiji is definitely the best Momiji. The last time she drank good things happened.
[x] After office gaems
She knows.

[X] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two.”
File 14586139802.jpg - (91.79KB, 500x500, tmp_15029-SkypePhoto_20160101_0420541909429532.jpg) [iqdb]
[X] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two.”
[ ] “Nah, let me buy you a drink or two.”
[X] "Nah, let me buy you a drink or two."
[X]“Nah, let me buy you a drink or two. Or three. Or four. However much it takes for a tengu to unwind."

Sounds fun!
File 145871229750.jpg - (46.90KB, 850x595, EXCEPT THE EXACT REVERSE.jpg) [iqdb]
“Nah. Instead, let's go out for some drinks,” you say, coaxing her into a better mood. You don't have an idea other than alcohol but frankly that's the only idea you need. “That fine?”

“No. I'm not going.” Momiji furrows her brow, sticking her lip out. “What, you think you can just sway me with booze all the time?”

With a confident smirk, you tell her, “I'll pay.”

Momiji's stern gaze falters, quickly crumbling down under your words. Pulling her hands out from her hoodie, the tengu runs her fingers through her hair in exasperation. “...Fine.”

“Booze wins again.” You usher Momiji outside, switching off all the lights along the way. Once all the lights are out, you grab the keys and lock the pub shut.

“Just to let you know, I'm only joining you because I like you.” Momiji, with a chuckle, adds, “And it's not because I like free alcohol or anything.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You stuff your keys back inside your jacket. “Whatever you say.”

“Wait.” Momiji takes a look around. “We're not going to drink at the Morning Spirits Pub?”

You snort. “Good one. How about we go to a real bar with real employees? I know a place that isn't complete dogshit.”

The walk isn't too far – it's about ten minutes away from the Morning Spirits Pub. Though the wind nips at your cheeks, you ignore the cold. Alcohol awaits. From the street, the only indicator of the bar is the worn out LED sign in the front that reads, “Lou 's Ba .” At some point, it read, 'Louise's Bar' but the years haven't been so kind to the poor thing.

You enter and sit yourself down at the bar, waiting until Momiji does the same. The bartender glances over to you questioningly. “Don't you have your own alcoholics to tend to?”

“Oh shut up, Sam.” You brush off the bartender, swiveling around halfway on your stool. Guy's been on your case ever since your first time here. You're not a regular but the dude knows your name and, as an unfortunate consequence, you know his. “I want alcohol, not a lecture.”

He shrugs it off. “Sure. I'll give you the shittiest vodka we got.”

“Oh, you son of a–”

“For free.” Sam turns away to grab a handle and slap it down in front of you. He then slides two glasses – nice of him to notice. You'd almost be grateful if the guy wasn't wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you've ever seen. “Cheers. You're paying for the next one.”

You sigh. “Yeah.”

“What, vodka again?” Momiji snickers.

“Beggars can't be choosers.” Sticking out your glass, you motion for her to pour. She complies. Before she can even pour herself any, you down the shot and stick out your glass again. “So how much alcohol do you need to incapacitate a wolf?”

“Is that a challenge?” She eyes you, casually pouring herself a double.

From afar, you can just barely hear Sam. “Try not to kill yourselves too fast.”

“Too late!” shouts Momiji from across the table, laughing. She gives you the next shot.

At some point between the fifteenth and twentieth shot, you decide that perhaps finishing the handle is both a lofty and perilous goal. Even Momiji's teetering over... unless that's just you falling to the ground. You catch yourself before you faceplant.

“Looks like you're having fun. Mind if I join you?” A woman stops and takes a seat next to you. She has long, black hair that falls to her shoulders – but more importantly, you have no idea who she is.

“I'd advise against hitting on a drunk like me,” you hiccup, grabbing the table for support. Squinting out of one eye, you glance over to Momiji. She's taking the next shot. You've lost count. “I'm busy trying to get my life together and failing.”

“Aren't we all?” the woman giggles. “I'm Claire, by the way.”

And then Momiji takes a seat right on the woman's lap. The wolf tengu is smashed as fuck. With a smirk, she says, “Hello, Claire. I'm Cook. Nice to meetcha.”

Claire blinks, too bewildered to even bother removing the tengu from her lap. “Ah, hello?”

“I don't want to disappoint you but our friend, Gallagher, is unfathomably gay.” Momiji gets off the girl's lap and points over to you. “We're gayboys together and we're so gay that we're getting gay married this spring. Gay. Any questions?”

“Pffft.” Claire stifles a laugh.

“Don't believe me? Fine. Here, I'll show you.” Apparently irritated, Momiji turns around to face you. Slapping both of her hands around your cheeks, she grabs your face and pulls in.

“Uh. 'Miji, what are you doing?” It takes you a little while to process what the fuck is going on. Damn the alcohol. “Wait a fucking second– hold on, no, stop–”

She knocks her forehead with yours. You can faintly smell the alcohol on her breath. With a completely serious tone, she utters, “Brace yourself.”

“You're fucking drunk. You should–”

And then she fucking kisses you.
File 145871663823.jpg - (436.03KB, 900x900, image.jpg) [iqdb]
I think poor momiji is upset that her femininity was undermined, and also, how Gallus treats her sometimes like a buddy.

The message here is clear. Momiji is saying "I'm a girl, you know."
oh shit
So we told Moral to make them kiss.. he actually did it the absolute madman
Awoo is gay for Gallagher, CONFIRMED.
File 145872371617.jpg - (161.79KB, 1190x560, 1458024554471.jpg) [iqdb]
Cook the gayest dude there is.
Its happening
Claire: Hello, can I join you?
Momi: No fuck you gally's mine.
[X] Tongue.
File 145875385869.jpg - (114.66KB, 500x500, cover.jpg) [iqdb]
oh shit cook going in for the motherfuckin kill man
File 145878206936.png - (52.67KB, 483x616, 1412550891172-3.png) [iqdb]

>shoulder-length black hair
birdslut pls go
File 145889628124.jpg - (126.56KB, 850x1360, oops.jpg) [iqdb]
Her lips are soft but all you can taste is the lingering alcohol from her mouth. You try and pull away but she drags you in closer, moving her hands from your face to your shoulders. It is a long moment before your lips part with Momiji's. Once she releases her grip, you immediately gasp out, “Miji, what the fuuuuck.”

Momiji is in a daze, staring at the almost empty handle of vodka with a strange intensity. “...Oops. Anyhow, I think my work here is done.” She stumbles over herself before walking away and out of the bar.

Claire puts a hand to her mouth but otherwise watches the entire thing unfold. Then, after a moment, she fans herself and says, “That was actually kind of hot.”

“Not another woooooord,” you groan. You stand yourself, preparing to chase after the wolf.

“Heading after your friend?” laughs Claire.

“Yeah.” You glance over at the girl before adjusting your jacket and turning away. “I have to go catch that fuckhead.”

Claire makes a motion to get up but stops, waving you off instead. “Have fun!”

You walk as fast as your drunken self will let you. You see Momiji walking back towards the direction of your apartment, so you speed up in order to catch her. By doing so, you almost topple over. Your hands touch the cool sidewalk, thankfully stopping your face from greeting the asphalt. “Miji!” you shout. “Where are you headed?”

Momiji turns around and walks over to you. Scratching her head, she responds, “I needed air and some time to think.”

“Some time to think? That's why we have alcohol.” You narrow your eyes at her. “But sadly, it won't make you a better kisser. So why did our mongo-gaylord Cook kiss Gallagher on the lips?”

Momiji nudges you, ushering you to walk before she continues talking. You stagger forward, almost hitting the ground again. “You know. It was one of those ideas you get in the back of your head and that seems like a great idea until you go and do it. In retrospect, I feel dumb now and will probably pretend I forgot this ever happened when I wake up tomorrow.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Vodka got to ya?”

“A little,” she chuckles, blushing in acknowledgment. “It was one of those moments where you think to yourself, 'Wow, this is going to be hilarious – I should do this,' but then you actually do it and you're like, 'Why did I do that, that wasn't hilarious at all it was just embarrassing' and you can't stop thinking about it now and–”

“Miji, Miji, Miji.” You raise a hand up to her face to stop her blubbering. “Chill.”

“Fiiiine.” The tengu walks alongside you wordlessly. It's a scene to behold. The two of you, reeking of alcohol, do the drunken march back home. It's no more than a minute before Momiji speaks up and breaks the silence. “So. How would you rate that kiss?”

“It was terrible as fuck.” You close your eyes and think back to the scene. “First, you slammed into my face and then you made me remember how the cheap vodka tasted with your mouth. Most importantly, you slammed into my face, that's not kissing.”

Momiji tilts her head slightly, frowning. “I thought it was pretty good.”

You just shake your head. You don't have the mind to say any more sober words to her. After a while, you arrive at the apartment complex. You fumble over your keys – your hand-eye coordination isn't too hot right now. After a few seconds of jigging your keychain around, you jam your key inside the door and unlock the damn thing. From the side, you can hear a frustrated Momiji jiggle her doorknob violently. “You actually locked your door this time?”

Momiji smacks her forehead to the door, sighing. “Yeah, but I can't find my keys.”

You almost laugh. The one time she actually does lock her door, she suffers for it. Staring at Momiji amusedly as she searches around her person, you notice something. From her back pocket, you can see a lone key dangling around helplessly on a little lanyard. It's her key. You squint. It's definitely her key.

You sigh.

[ ] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”
[ ] “Check your back pocket. Good night.”
[x]Grab for the key yourself.
[X] “Check your back pocket. Good night.”
[X] “Check your back pocket. Good night.”
Cue Momiji crashing in G's room anyway.
[X] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”
[X] “Check your back pocket. Good night.”

Drunk Momiji is great.
[X] “Check your back pocket. Good night.”
[X] “Check your back pocket. Good night.”
[X] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”
What are you guys doing? This is a chance to finally have Gallus accept he likes having Momiji hang out with him.
[X] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”
No brakes on the gay train
Pff like that'd happen

[x] Come in already. It's a cold cold night
[x] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”

Better prepare the couch for the night then.
[x] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”
>nobody else wants to drunkgrope the miji butt

you guys have no style, have no grace.
>[x] “Check your back pocket. Good night.”
[x] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”

Gal is drunk. He has an alibi. Just let him have Momiji's Momi-momi's to himself.
[x] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”
D-don't misunderstand! It's not l-like we care about a drunk old wolf smelling of cheap alcohol... It just... It'd just be awkward to leave things like this...
[x] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”

and then we instantly pass out as soon as we're in bed
[x]Grab for the key yourself.
[x] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”

Tomorrow we'll wake up wondering what the hell we were thinking, but tonight, we are "Smooth as Fuck" Gallagher.
[x]Grab for the key yourself.
[x] “Come in already. It's a cold night.”
So... we ever gonna update Gally's old story, The Life and Crimes of Detective Shameimaru?

Perhaps we could ask Momiji for help on the matter...

Oh, and we should go on IRC with Momiji and troll the shit out of it.
This is why stories on THP never update. Because sexy touhous distract them from writing.
I have a sudden and intense desire to start writing a story of THP

Do it, faget.

Become a writefaget.

I mean writefag.
Talking with the author, he said that story is dead. He's going to do a reboot of it I believe.
File 145949523578.png - (365.41KB, 504x600, mijj.png) [iqdb]
You just watch Momiji stare at her door in frustration. Creaking open your own door, you motion for her to come inside. “Come in already. It's a cold night.”

She's stunned for a second. Her hood falls from her head as her ears perk straight up. She mutters out a few drunken babbles and gestures which you ultimately cannot comprehend.

The cold wind brushes against your face, prompting you to edge closer inside. “Miji. Are you just gonna stand there or are ya coming in?”

She lights up in response, a happy red flushing through her cheeks. “Yeah! Now get outta the way, you're blocking the entrance!”

You wait until she's fully inside before you yank the handle, shutting the door nice and tight. You fumble with the lock until it replies with a satisfying click. But as you walk towards the living room, you are hit with a wave of nausea. You desperately stagger towards the bathroom but Momiji stops you with a hug from behind. She wraps her arms around you and rests her chin on your shoulder.

“Let go of me, you shiiiiiiiit.”

She swings you side to side. “What, are you embarrassed?”

Momiji's swaying makes it even worse. “No no no. I have to throw up. Like. Right. Now.” Immediately, she lets go and you do a thirty meter dash straight into your bathroom. Kneeling over the toilet, you let it all go. Goodbye, your insides. You throw up like it's your fucking job. When was the last time you actually threw up like this? You can't exactly remember because you're busy hurling into the toilet bowl. At least you made it to the bathroom in time. You finish, spitting into the water twice before flushing everything away. Moving over to the sink, you let the tap run and rinse your mouth with a handful of water. You grab the mouthwash after – you don't have the coordination to do something as complicated as brushing your teeth right now.

You leave the bathroom, feeling defeated by your own drunken self. You move right into the bedroom and throw your jacket off. Momiji is already under the covers, so you peek back into the living room and take a look at the couch. Is it worth the effort?

Your brain processes the information. And its response is: nah, fuck that noise. You return to your bed and stare Momiji straight in the eye. “Move over, fatass. I'm joining.”

She pulls the covers over her. “I thought you don't like sharing a bed!”

“The last time you asked me to share, you were fucking sick. Right now, it's cold and I'm going to let my impaired judgment decide for me. Now scooch.”

“Okaaay,” Momiji says, giggling. “I'm cold too, so it works out.”

“Good.” You take your share of the blanket and close your eyes. The alcohol really gets your eyes feeling like lead. “Tell my sober self, 'fuck you.' Also, night.”

“Okay.” With a comfortable sigh, she tosses and turns until she finds a suitable position. “Night, Gally.”

It's nice and warm.

HOLY SHIT EVERYTHING SMELLS LIKE ALCOHOL AND REGRET. You have the biggest fucking hangover and it feels so shitty that you think your descendants will be feeling this one. And for some reason, you feel like you don't have as much space as you're used to on the bed. You turn your head to the side.

Momiji sidles up to your side in her sleep, placing her arm on your chest. You aren't even going to ask why she's here. You know why. You remember what you did... more or less.

You begin the day by stumbling out of bed and heading into the bathroom. You let the faucet run, dipping your head under the cold water. Your sluggish body wakes, if only a little. You lift your head wearily and wash your face slowly. However, the dull pounding in your head interrupts you and has you digging through the medicine in the cabinet in frustration. Grabbing some aspirin, you take two pills and lap up the running tap before turning off the water.

You pass by Momiji as you leave the bathroom. The tengu tries to flatten down her hair with her hands, but it is to no avail. Her hair is all over the place. With an uneasy smile, she says, “Hey. Feeling better?”

“Yeah. But not by too much.” You massage your temples, staring over to the kitchen. Making food is probably not an option for you right now. You don't have the energy for that shit. “How about you?”

“I'm–” Momiji pauses. “I'm, uh, good.”

“Then that makes one of us.” With a sigh, you sit down and rest your head on the table. “Sorry, but I don't think I can make anything to eat right now.”

“That's okay. I can make something.” Momiji starts to head for the kitchen but stops herself, turning around with a confused frown. “So uh, how hungover are you?”

You close your eyes wearily. “Enough to gripe and moan about it.”

She leans in a little closer. “Do you, by any chance, remember anything from last night?”

You take a moment to collect yourself. You remember going to Lou's – err, Louise's. You remember drinking yourself into a drunken stupor. And then you remember... oh. Oh, right, that happened.

Momiji, almost impatiently, says, “Well?”

[ ] “I remember all of it.”
[ ] “Apparently, I'm really gay.”
[ ] “The only thing I remember is throwing up.”
[ ] “Not a single thing.”
[x] “Apparently, I'm really gay.”

Gayllagher is the only option.
[x] “Apparently, I'm really gay.”

We can't let her get away with it, it's too perfect.
[X] “Apparently, I'm really gay.”
[x] “Apparently, I'm really gay.”
-[x]Psych! April's Fools! I actually don't remember a damn thing.
[x] “Apparently, I'm really gay.”
[x] Apparently, I'm fucking gay.

[X] “Apparently, I'm really gay.”
[x] Apparently, I'm fucking gay.
[X] “Apparently, I'm really fucking gay.”
[x] "Apparently, I'm really gay."
Does this mean I what I think it does? If so, I'm very okay with this.
[x] “Apparently, I'm really fucking gay.”
[X] “Apparently, I'm really gay.”
File 146135917027.jpg - (198.86KB, 850x1376, something like that.jpg) [iqdb]
“Apparently,” you say, sitting up to level your gaze with Momiji's. “I'm really gay.”

“Well.” The tengu stiffens, her wolfish ears drooping slightly. “Shit, that's embarrassing to remember.”

“Face it, Cook.” You point a weary finger over to her. “You're a gaylord.”

Momiji frowns. “What does that make you then?”

You think over the question. “Also a gaylord. But I'd like to call myself the victim here.”

The wolf almost scoffs. “The victim of what?”

You look at her dead in the eye. “You know exactly what.”

“Well... sorry.” Momiji turns to the refrigerator and swings it open. Still facing the open fridge, she adds, “But don't pretend like you didn't like it.”

You say nothing and instead rest your head on your arms. You idly watch Momiji throw together some sandwiches. It's just ham on rye but you aren't complaining. If somebody makes you a sandwich when you're hungover, you'll fucking eat it. Momiji slaps three sandwiches on a plate and takes one immediately.

Pointing over to the third sandwich, you ask, “And this is for?”

“...It's for me,” replies Momiji, blushing. She sets down the plate with a huff. “I wanted two, alright?”

“You can do whatever you want.” Lifting your head, you grab the sandwich. “I'm just surprised that you managed to find enough in the fridge to make something.”

“Sandwiches are a miracle of the universe.” Momiji is already done with her first one. She grabs the second sandwich and stares into the kitchen. “Speaking of, we're going to need to go grocery shopping. I don't think there's anything left in that fridge of ours.”

You blink. “We? Ours? Do you think that this is your apartment too or something? How often are you going to come over?”

Momiji doesn't respond. Her chin rests on her left hand as she stares thoughtfully into her sandwich.

You sigh. “Isn't this the part where you mention that you've forgotten how your own apartment looks like?”

Momiji, smiling, returns her attention to you. “What, I have an apartment?”

You glare back at her.

“Kidding.” Momiji, done with both her sandwiches, stands up. “Let's get ready to work.”

You take small bites of your sandwich. You don't really taste anything but you should get some food into your system anyway. Momiji heads outside to enter her own apartment. It takes no more than five seconds before she's back, banging her head on the wall.

“Fuuuuck. I forgot I misplaced my key yesterday. So...” Momiji, coming back with pleading eyes, asks, “Gally. Could I use your shower again?”

“Not like you'll take no for an answer. Go for it.”

“Thanks as always.” Momiji, without any hesitation, heads for the bathroom. You can hear her shuffle inside and turn the faucet on. Seconds later, the faucet is off and Momiji slams the door open. She's only half-dressed. “I'm a fucking idioooooot! It was in my back pockeeeeet!” Gripping her keys tightly in her hand, she storms around the apartment with only a long shirt on. Her tail is in full view, swishing around in a series of motions that could be described as upset.

“That's great, but could you not parade around my place without any fucking pants on?” You throw her back into the bathroom and close the door. “I'd like to keep it decent around here, thanks.”

From behind the door, you can hear Momiji reply back. “It's way too late for that, you know that?”

You ignore her and check the time. You still have plenty of time before work. Fuck, why can't you have this much time in the morning when you don't wake up hungover? But since you have some time to kill, you decide to go work on your updat– hahaha, that joke never gets old.

YOU (Gallus) have joined #thp
Topic for #thp is “Welcome to #THP – Those Heartless Plutocrats | SITE STATUS: LONG LIVE MOBAGES | MAGICAL FAGS | Archives: http://bit.ly/uwzY0Z | ROYAL RAINBOW! | ✿ WINTER'S ASLEEP POST LILY WHITES ✿ | <Valley> what are you a straight?
Mode #THP +h Gallus by ChanServ
<Fletcher> and speaking of faggots
<Chireiden> GALLUS
<Neat> who faggot gay/order here?
<Valley> Neat, send me a friend request.
<Neat> k
<Chireiden> where have you been galileo
<Fletcher> when are you updating that one story
<Fletcher> the Aya is...
<Fletcher> amusing lol
<Gallus> what Aya story
<Chireiden> rip
<Aide> C'mon don't even joke about that.
<Anon221> BIG NEWS
<Anon221> AGAIN
<Bram> >anime
<BDC> >animu
<Anon221> muh cantonese cartoons
<Aide> Oh man why do I even do this to myself? I have to get up to work in like 3 hours.
<Fletcher> same here
<Fletcher> haha... fukk.
<Fletcher> but yeah gallus update or i'm gonna have to kill your family

You sigh, but it's a good sigh. IRC is the same as always. You find a comfortable routine in giving everyone there shit. Things are okay in the internet world. Rubbing the bridge of your nose, you attempt to quell the dull throbbing of your head with a massage. You are about to resume typing when you hear Momiji barge into the room, done with her shower.

She's in her hoodie again, the towel loosely wrapped around her hair. “Hey, Gallus!”

With an uncertain pause, you say, “What.”


“Catch what–”

She then jumps onto the chair. The chair with you on it. Caught off guard, you defend yourself with your arms, reaching out to catch Momiji with your arms outstretched. Your hands fly off the keyboard.

<Gallus> okay but kill my mom first she's an ashoujjffs
<Aide> A what now?
<Anon221> TL note: she's an a shoujo, for fuck's sake
<Anon221> TL note: ffs means for fuck's sake
<BDC> did you kill him instead of his family?
<Anon221> gal has loli mom confirmed
<Buttlord> rippu Gallus ;_;7

You just barely grab her in time. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Momiji settles down, resting right on top of your lap. Her back is to the right armrest; her legs are over the left. “I want some attention.”

[ ] You'll give her some attention alright. Give her the classic military press.
[ ] Dump her onto the floor. You need to shower.
[ ] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.
[x] You'll give her some attention alright. Give her the classic military press.

Bro do you even tengu?
[X] A part of you is standing at attention. hope she doesn't notice.
[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.
[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.

We have to shitpost; no matter the cost.
[x] You'll give her some attention alright. Give her the classic military press.

I didn't research wrestling moves on the internet to not pick this option.
[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.

I support this >>63416 notion.
[x] You'll give her some attention alright. Give her the classic military press.

Give up Fa-Gallus.
[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.

Because I enjoy Trollmiji here.
[X] You'll give her some attention alright. Give her the classic mating military press.
[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.
[x] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.

Tengu Ass Tengu Ass, it's awwwright.
[x] You'll give her some attention alright. Give her the classic military press.
[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.
[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.

Because if you ignore your pets, they get even more nosy and in your face. Or is that just cats?

Ignore the dog for cute
[x] You'll give her some attention alright. Give her the classic military press.

Momiji thinks she's the only one with wrestling moves? She should think again.
[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.

Give me shitposts or give me death.


[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.

Time for a fight for the keyboard.
[ ] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.

There is shitposting to be done and we are going to do our shitposting even if Miji kills us!
[X] Ignore her. You're going to post in IRC even if a fucking wolf tengu is blocking your way.
-[x] Get back at her by mentioning that you've literally got her in your lap.
-[x] Get ready to tickle.
I don't get it. Something something MOBAs?
eroge = ero game
mobage = mobile game
File 146284094180.jpg - (210.31KB, 500x735, 1423796261902-0.jpg) [iqdb]
Something something fate grand order?
File 146295638085.png - (833.31KB, 675x900, MOMIJI STOP SHITPOSTING IN IRC GOD DAMMIT.png) [iqdb]
You're not going to give her any more attention – that'll just embolden her. Scooting the chair closer to the desk, you drag Momiji along with you. You are going to post on IRC even if a wolf tengu is all up in your goddamn face. She wiggles around, trying to find a more comfortable position. But obviously, when you're being cradled between two armrests, any position is a little fucking stiff.

<Aide> Well, maybe you should not be a complete douche?
<Fletcher> I know where you live Aide expect to get smacked the FUCK up
<Aide> Uh-huh right.
<Gallus> oh my god just get fucking married already you guys have been pussyfighting with each other every single time you guys are online

“Gallagher,” whines Momiji.

<Gallus> also 221 when is anime ever not shit?
<Gallus> no doubt there's another haremshit I-CAN'T-DO-BASIC-HUMAN-INTERACTIONS anime up this season
<Gallus> wait let me guess also there's mecha again too with a stunted MC
<Anon221> w
<Qasta> >Colors of Our Hearts >Gun Gear 2
<Qasta> gallus is actually an anime wizard

“Gally.” Momiji leans the side of her head on your shoulder in an attempt to obscure your vision. “Gal. Gallaaaaaaaagher.”

<Valley> >boss one shots me before gauge is filled
<Valley> ok
<Neat> are you talking about phoenix?
<Valley> yeah.
<Neat> just grind that shit if you don't have your OP character yet
<ShinraCo> >having OP characters
<ShinraCo> I hope you didn't waifu trade up
<Gallus> i'm just going to say it now but
<Gallus> mobages are shit and so are your mobage waifus
<Gallus> andfoamra I'M A FAGGOT
<Anon221> >andfoamra
<Anon221> me too
<Fletcher> but like we already knew that

“Momiji,” you say, struggling to reach the keyboard. “What are you doing now?”

“I don't have the faintest clue what you're talking about.” Pinning your hands under her butt, Momiji assumes free control over the keyboard. You eye her angrily but she only smirks.

<Gallus> I must confess. I like dicks.
<Bram> >not liking dicks
<Bram> what are you a straightlord?
<Fletcher> again, what's the news here??
<BDC> so who is on Gallus's computer
<Gallus> Aya is a complete shit and is a bottom-tier Touhou. Long live Momiji.
<Buttlord> Gallus confirmed being a Momiji-fag (again)
<Gallus> What now
<BDC> yeah you should've seen it fake-gallus
<Neat> where were you on the day that Aya-fags got BTFO
<BDC> he basically told us that Momiji is the best 2hu
<BDC> so you guys have similar taste

Momiji releases your hands from under her butt. Your hands are on fucking fire. All that circulation that you lost is catching up to you and it feels like a thousand spiders are crawling through your veins.

“Momiji, you little shit,” you growl, flailing your arms in a pathetic attempt to get your blood flowing. “If I had any feeling in my arms, I would be crushing your face right now.”

The tengu gets off the chair and brushes her hand over her hair, flicking her ears up and down. She looks over to you and smiles. For once, it's not as smug as you would think. With a playful glint in her eyes, Momiji leans closer toward you. “So. Am I your favorite Touhou now?”

[ ] Sure, why not.
[ ] Tell her about how Aya is superior to her in every way possible.
[ ] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.
[ ]
[X] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.

Let's tell her about how Flop Ears has her beat.
[Z] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.

I was gonna say medicine but...
[X] Rinnosuke is obviously the only one my gay dick desires.

We're playing this straight.
[X] Call out for Tewi
[X] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.
Because Tewi is gay for dicks, thus Gallus is into that kind of thing
[X] Tewi
[X] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.
[x] Sanae. As any normal person, you have feelings for underage girls
[X] Rinnosuke is obviously the only one my gay dick desires.

Oh, I like this.
[x] something something black tewi
[X] Tell her about how Aya is superior to her in every way possible.
this is the time to shitpost outside the IRC
do not fuck up
[X] Sanae. Like any normal person, you have feelings for underage girls.

This is all that other anon's fault.
[X] Obviously it's giant catfish.
[x] Sure, why not.

Let's be honest for once. Excessive Tsundereness isn't really as charming as many think it is
I'm sorry, but I'm going to send all of you to Makai for that.
No shit. We're supposed to be in a relationship with Momiji, not just tell her off!
You, though, are an exemplary example. Long live you.
[x] Sure, why not.
I have to agree, she read that Gallus said that she was best Toho 2016 and wants him to confirm it. After all, she thinks, maybe he said it before meeting her. Is the real deal no match for the legend? Will you break her heart, anon?
[x] Sure, why not.
[X] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.
-[X] And you're definitely not just saying that just because with your luck she'll be standing right behind you ready to belt you over the head with that hammer of hers if you give any other answer.
[X] Rinnosuke is obviously the only one my gay dick desires.

>No shit. We're supposed to be in a relationship with Momiji, not just tell her off!

we are? news to me. Pretty sure the only person gally-kun loves is his gay lover, cook

Think of it this way. If Gallus confirms his love with Momiji right now. That's the end. No more content for us to proceed with besides a timeskip to the falling action of Momiji probably returning to Gensokyo.

By deflecting the question with Gallus's signature sarcasm. We keep the characterization and the plot stays at a good pace. With some more comedy continued.

So essentially. Think of this as a vote that will determine whether or not you want this story to end quickly or not.
Keep in mind that admitting Momiji is his favorite touhou is still a ways off from "confirming love with Momiji," especially considering how many ways there are to frame the response. Still, it makes sense to stay in character for this one, given the situation gally is currently in.

[x] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.
All of them are in character though, just different ways.

What kind of argument is that?

Given the rest of the sentence it's pretty clear that it means it's most continuous with the last choice we made and how gallus is currently acting

that can be said about the second choice as well but she'll be expecting the aya line from miles away
Are you gonna string her along to keep yourself entertained?

[x] Sure, why not.
Yes. Yes we will.

[X] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.
That's awfully reaching there.
[x] Sure, why not.
This may not win but I sure as hell am not going to vote for bunny.
[X] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.

Must continue the sarcasm shtick.
[X] something something awooo
Momi a best
[x] Your favorite touhou is obviously Tewi.

Momi is so trying to play us, so why not be sarcastic?
No, seriously.

(yay, metaposting)
[x] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.

All of the snark, all of the time.
Tewi goes in all fields
[X] Your favorite Touhou is obviously Tewi.
File 146425527669.png - (61.01KB, 577x483, pulling up the wiki in disgust.png) [iqdb]
You keep yourself from slapping a big fat smile on your face. “Well, my favorite Touhou is Tewi, no contest. Sorry, Momiji, but even you are second best.”

Scrunching up her nose, Momiji narrows her eyes. “Tewi? Are you serious?”

“I'm serious,” you reply, fully committing to your little lie.

“Huh.” The wolf tengu frowns. Then, wheeling your chair away, Momiji kicks you off the computer

“What now?” you say, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Just a moment.” She opens up the tab for the Touhou wiki and searches up 'Tewi' immediately after. The page loads – its full length is little under a full page. “WHAAAT,” she shouts, “WHY WOULD YOU LIKE HER? SHE HAS ABOUT AS MUCH CHARACTERIZATION AS I DO!”

“Well, yeah, but–”

“As much as me! And I don't even have a portrait and– wait just a second.” Momiji returns her attention to the wiki page. She scrolls back up to the top of the page. Moments after, she reels back and pulls at her ears in frustration. “SHE HAS A PORTRAAAAAAAIT!”

“A shame.” You wheel the chair forward again and pat Momiji on the back. “Too bad for you, huh?”

“...It's official. She has more background than I do.” Momiji buries her face in her hands. Her anger withers into dejection. “This is lame. Even a rabbit of all people gets more attention to detail than me.”

“To be fair, Tewi isn't just any rabbit,” you point out. “She has about a thousand year's worth of experience under her belt.”

Momiji keeps sulking. “And how is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“It's not supposed to. I'm just telling you the truth, man.” While Momiji is busy glaring at the computer, you eye the clock. It's about time to get ready to work. Unfortunately, you still have work today. “Anyway. I'm going to go take a shower while I still can. Expect to leave for work right after I'm done.”

“Go ahead. You still smell like alcohol.” Momiji huffs. She's pouting. She's definitely pouting. “I'll just be here, wallowing in my misery.”

“Good luck with that, then.” You are, for the most part, still recovering from your hangover. Your head is still a little groggy, but whatever. You have worked through much worse. Hitting the showers might clear your head anyway. You get your change of clothes and, once you're in the bathroom, you throw off everything that you're wearing. More of a precaution than anything else, you lock the door before stepping into the warm water. A sigh of relief escapes you. If only you could stay in the shower forever. You allow yourself ten minutes before you clean up and shut off the faucet. You dry, clothe yourself, and then step out of the bathroom.

When you return to your room, Momiji swivels her chair to face you with the cheekiest little grin slapped on her face. “Heya Gally.”

You flatten your gaze at her. “What's wrong with you now?”

“Heheh,” she chuckles. “IRC gave me all the logs. Guess you're gonna have to go to work with your favorite Touhou!”

Your headache's coming back. “You're very quickly deranking, Momiji. Now you're two spots below Tewi.”

Momiji hurries over to usher you out the door. “Okay, whatever you say~”

“Three spots.”

You managed to wake up early today but, somehow, you're still just barely on time. Lily's the first of the girls to arrive – and she looks exceptionally well-rested. By that, you mean that she looks like she's ready to bother you for the entire day.

“Not today, Lily,” you half-mumble, massaging your forehead

“Huh?” Your employee is understandably confused. You didn't really mean to say that out loud, but it just slipped out. “Um, what did I do?”

“It's nothing important. I'll let you know when the rest of our staff gets here.” You impatiently smooth out your shirt as you wait. Rylee and Cassie arrive a minute later; both look like they have something to say. However, you stop the two and speak up first. “I'm a little under the weather today, but I'm going to do the monthly report. That means I don't want anybody bothering me in the office unless a fucking tornado is about to wreck the city. That is all. Expect me to be done by noon. You can bother me afterward.”

Rylee, Cassie, and Lily all do their classic vacant-stare-and-head-nodding routine.

Momiji, on the other hand, shrugs. “Sounds like you need a drink.”

You ignore her. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you unlock the bar with your free hand. You let your employees loose and head straight to the back office. Reclining back on the seat, you stare at the blank report numbly until the words all dissolve into one huge blur. Doing work after a hangover sucks. Wow, you never would have guessed. You'll start with the easy stuff first: profit and loss. You look over total expenses as well as the gross profit. The bar's not making money. Another big fucking surprise there.

It takes you way past noon to finally get all the details in. You file the report into the owner's cabinet – you can only pray that he gets here before payments are due. Finally, you're free. You commemorate this joyous occasion by resting your head flat on the cool, hard wood of the table.

A knock interrupts your celebration. It's Rylee behind the door. She looks like she has something to say. Something really stupid, from the look of her smirk. Rylee lets herself in, keeping that huge smirk of hers on the entire time.

You prop your head up by resting it on your hand. “Why are you here?”

“It's lunch break,” she replies.

“I know. Why are you here?”

Rylee looks like she's about to burst out laughing. “Is it true that some gay dude tried to make out with you in a bar?”

You glare at your employee. Fucking hell. “Where'd you hear that from?”

“A friend of mine – Claire's her name – went out for a drink. Apparently, the two of you met?” Rylee shrugs. “Then I guess some guy just smashed his lips onto yours.”

“I guess that's how it went, sure.” You frown at her. It doesn't seem like she or Claire know that the gay dude in mention was Momiji. “I'm just the victim of all this.”

“Well, that's just unfortunate.” Rylee lets out a low chuckle. “Rumors going around the place that you actually are gay.”

“Let them think what they want. I couldn't give less of a fuck,” you say, shrugging. “Anything else you want to bother me about or can I kick you out already?”

“Well, actually...” Rylee trails off. “I do.”

You raise an eyebrow. A bit off-putting to have Rylee act like this. “Alright. Tell me.”

“Yeah, uh.” Your employee dips her head “Could I get an advance on my pay?”

“Can't it wait a couple more days?” you plead. She slowly shakes her head no. Well then. “I'd like to ask my boss about it, but... well, he's not here.”

You're not too keen about breaking the rules, but it's not like she's asking for shits and giggles. If Rylee wants the money enough to ask for it, then she probably needs it.

[ ] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.
[ ] Give everyone an early paycheck. It's only fair.
[ ] Don't give her an early paycheck. Rules are rules. Something this important should be left up to the real boss.
[X] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.
[x] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.

If the owner isn't there, then who cares?

I actually want the bargirls to give Momiji some competition. I like them.
[X] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.
[X] Give everyone an early paycheck. It's only fair.

This is why I never take management jobs.
[x] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.
[x] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.

as if gally-kun could ever be anything but the softest
[x] Give everyone an early paycheck. It's only fair.
[x] Give her an early paycheck

Exceptions are for emergencies. If she asks for another next month or if everyone starts asking for one, that's when we stop being nice.

Use, not abuse.
[x] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.
[x] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.
[x] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.

>Checks homepage
>An Excuse for Awoo is on the recently updated list
I came.
[x] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later with headpats
[x] Give her an early paycheck. She can make up for it later.

And Gallus wonders why the bargirls bother him so much.
>implying anyone but Cook will win Gallus's heart

Can't cuck the Cook
>Think of it this way. If Gallus confirms his love with Momiji right now. That's the end. No more content for us to proceed with besides a timeskip to the falling action of Momiji probably returning to Gensokyo.

Do you think Moral would do that? Just end a story abruptly for his own amusement? :^)
File 146441040289.jpg - (139.24KB, 850x1281, CikYSH_XAAAd01m_jpg large.jpg) [iqdb]
wat if other grills are 2hus


Grills? 2hus?

Do I know you from Touhoucraft?
They're both commonly used words(here, on/jp/, and probably other places too), not specific to any person.
I should have said this sooner, but I was taking a break from this story. I have a lot of excuses why but the biggest one at the top of the list is that, recently, I haven't been satisfied at all with my own level of writing. I feel pretty bad for announcing this right before we're going to have a new thread but I decided to be honest and straightforward with you all. That being said, I want to get the next update/thread out before the end of the month. Consider this an opportunity to yell at me if no updates come out before July.
You fucking supernigger you promised me a graduation present and goddamnit if there isn't anything by july I'm coming to your house and mashing your face into your keyboard until an update comes out
File 146659842129.png - (586.83KB, 700x979, very relevant to the update plotline if you read a.png) [iqdb]

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;igsoerfvn;osrunievmdfmb kmdfvdkcmfrnfdkmcsfvdlcskfvlcdl,fgbfv cmdfkvl cm;dfmkvnmcdlfkfldsfkld;fkfldspfkfxldfkfdlfpkgoflvcdl;,fk vcdfkbmvdfkgbfdlfkfdlsfgbfdelfgjtfdlfkbfdf;bcn fdkm;bdzcsmfc dfvo cklmdijfsdkof;mdl/mld ivo;kmlfb vlcdvlfxk' xvcdfonjfdof fkofknlf cvlfbckf dsokf vfrbk vcsdkfñv cfkgjfcv kopfxkv ckf vcdfkckfdofjb vkofgkv dkfvkb fxdkpf vvfkc f;ckdfzvjb vcdfvkob ;vlfvbc vlfbf jovcdcv k;c dfvk bvcmlkfvglb kvcmlfv, bvokivgk.bc vk;fkbc vfkm.gdbfcv mvb ,gvkfk bvkvgbc vcfm d vckbg mvkcdfkf ckfvk vkfvcb vckbg vk;cmvñ vkkn vb vcdnk vkv vckvnc bvcv vkvf fn bvjfcodkfj zdfis; gueog hswog;ieshgoes gvnlhgbsod hg;dgs;hgoie hsg;eom;xsivf s; srzoijhgkogj;d bkfvmfijbl vckfdoigt8ubfvdopñfjivkf doifhbgfciodfgokjefvdc jfrui93485utre09irtgjvcidfjv cokjkbgv oeidutgfofjkgb vokjngvfokjgbk vfjibgk vpofjfvc kdmvfg okfmv bvp vokpfv pfmv bvlpfmv bf

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edsoi regsejr;dfvñzij'kzd l

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Going to start working on the real update and thread soon.
File 146660048169.png - (242.98KB, 600x478, ed5.png) [iqdb]
Moral you're the greatest
I feel betrayed there has been no update before July.
What are you talking about? The update's right here: >>63781

Also, new thread: >>63805
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