Let us rate Hatlessness: JUSTICE FOR THE HATLESS 2022/11/20 (Sun) 19:01 No. 16647 ▼
Ladies, gentlemen, and all in between,
Many a time, (for a long time), has it been debated among our peers in the Touhou community to appraise and rate each and every hat in the series, but I ask,
"what about those who cannot qualify, those who do not wear hats?"
Many a time, (for a long time), they have been left alone, cold, hatless, and double–crossed for something beyond their control.
I daresay it is time to do something about it!
With your cooperation, we will determine the best hatlessness in the Touhou Project.
"How?" you might be thinking. Fret not! It is easy:
You shall choose a candidate who does not wear a hat (the best picks have never worn a hat*, unlike Udongein, for example) and explain how they are the best at being hatless.
To be more specific, tell us why this character is better off without a hat, and how wearing one would only weaken them, whether it be by design, or presence, or some other characteristic they would stand to lose.
Godspeed all, and have a jolly day!
*For those who's hattedness is ambiguous, be brave and make the best case you can. All will be scrutinized, and the hatted shall be shamed.
Anonymous 2022/11/20 (Sun) 19:34 No. 16648 ▼
Really hope that's not your phone number you put in the e-mail field. Bad move if so.
Anonymous 2022/11/20 (Sun) 21:41 No. 16650 ▼
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If Roomy had a hat it'd make it way harder to ruffle her hair.
Anonymous 2022/11/20 (Sun) 23:25 No. 16651 ▼
Fools. The design matching her power makes Seija's hatlessness the perfect fit.
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 10:05 No. 16652 ▼ >>16651
Now I admit you may have had a point, if not for the rest of her outfit, but her wearing of a skirt utterly undercuts that argument.
Hatless she may be, but thematic it is not. >>16647
What are we to consider a hat in this case? Certainly not every character wears one but many have some other kind of headwear. Kutaka for example wears a chick upon her head, is this to be considered a hat?
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 10:43 No. 16653 ▼ >>16652
If we stretch the definition, a chick could be considered a hat, but look at Sanae and her hair accessory; that isn't a hat.
So, therefore, there must be a degree to which a head is covered before a hairpiece is considered a hat. It is thus necessary to consider the two extremes of the question: what is a hat? Something that covers the head entirely, like the black-white's hairpiece, can only be considered a hat, but if nothing is donning the head, like in Yuuka's case, there is no hat.
Somewhere in between the extremes, there lay the nebulous boundaries of a hat.
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 11:44 No. 16654 ▼
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The resident knife-ears does not envy the hatted wenches their hattedness, nor is she jealous in any way, shape, or form. No siree.
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 12:08 No. 16655 ▼
My personal hat ranking system is as follows:
Actual Hat + Other - 110%, a true hat, plus another accessory/head ornament. Example: Chen.
Actual Hat - 100%, it's literally just a hat. Could be a planet, could be a froggy hat, even a bowl, but it's just a hat. Example: Futo.
Hoods - 95%, almost as good as a hat, but it needs its own category. Example: Ichirin.
Large Hair Ribbon - 80%, while not a complete hat these ribbons are often large enough to count anyway. Example: Reimu
Head Ornament - 60%, this includes everything from small ribbons, glasses, chickens... If it's not big enough to be a hat, it probably goes here. Example: Sanae.
Headband - 20%, it's definitely at least somewhat a hat, but it really only shapes the hair. Example: Chimata.
Everything past this point is not a hat by my standards.
Animal Ears - 10%, as although they are somewhat more of a head decoration than just hair, they are technically just part of the head and thus are less of a hat. Horns also count here. Example: Aunn.
Stylized Hair - 5%, If you wear your hair in a style other than hanging loose, you go here. Example: Komachi
No Hat - 0%, the topic of discussion. Unzan, Kogasa, and all the rest. Does not wear anything on their head.
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 12:53 No. 16656 ▼
Let's enumerate who's in the 0% category – it's not a very long list. Sticking to Windows-era characters I count Kaguya, Kogasa, Unzan, Byakuren (except in ULiL and AoCF), Nue, Raiko, Sagume, Nemuno and Momoyo. (And some unnamed men from the manga, if you count them.)
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 13:06 No. 16657 ▼ >>16656
A few more that I'd include with an asterisk:
Yuuka does appear in both generations, so I'd count her with the windows cast.
Parsee has pointy ears, but they're in normal ear position.
Rinnosuke has glasses, but again he wears them normally, making them a face ornament unlike AoCF Joon.
I can see why you might not have them on the list, but they're worth mentioning imo.
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 14:28 No. 16658 ▼
Personally, I don't even think this is a question. Kogasa has two bodies, and neither one wears a hat. That's DOUBLE hatlessness, nobody could ever hope to compare.
Besides, can you imagine trying to jumpscare people while wearing a hat? You'd never be able to hide, because it always reaches above whatever you're hiding behind. She has a reason to go hatless.
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 17:11 No. 16659 ▼
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By the same logic, Sekibanki, who possesses seven heads, is seven times as hatless as every other 2hu, naturally making her the bestest 2hu, as it is evident.
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 17:28 No. 16660 ▼ >>16659
Okay, let's figure this out.
Using the chart from >>16655
, we can determine a hat value of 0.8 for a large hair ribbon.
This is either 560% hat if we choose to value multiple hats by adding their hat value, or about 21% hat if we multiply it.
If Seikibanki removed the ribbon, your logic would be sound, but we have to account for what these multiple heads are wearing.
This does raise a question of how to calculate multi-headed 2hus though.
Anonymous 2022/11/21 (Mon) 17:40 No. 16661 ▼ >>16660
If it's multiplied, wouldn't it be 0% because of the headless main body?
How many even have multiple heads/bodies anyways?
There's every tsukumogami, Seikibanki obviously, pretty sure Aunn counts too. Yuuka if you look at PC-98...
Anonymous 2022/11/25 (Fri) 18:41 No. 16664 ▼ >>16660
There's also a surprising number of 2hus who become 60% hat compliant upon defeat in a danmaku battle by way of a large band-aid applied to their noggin. Do instances of non-consentual hat wearing apply a malus to an otherwise hat-less 2hu's final aggregate hat score?
Anonymous 2022/11/25 (Fri) 20:50 No. 16666 ▼ >>16660
Spontaneous manifestation of head ornamentation for medical purposes shouldn't count, I'd think. It's not part of their normal attire, it's just there for safety.
In other news, of the true hatless 2hus not yet discussed, I think Kaguya has a pretty good shot of dethroning the current leader.
Kaguya doesn't wear a hat, and doesn't need to. She has her own personal doctor in case she ever gets sunburned, she doesn't get much sun in the first place, and if she got a hat she'd stop having a character design in eternal stasis. Plus, Mokou has a very high hat score, and those two would obviously be on opposite sides of the scale.
Anonymous 2022/11/27 (Sun) 07:34 No. 16667 ▼ >>16666
Not to be needlessly contrarian, but I cannot accept 'medical reasons' as a valid explanation for this phenomena. A vast number of post-battle band-aid application are placed in strange places such as over the clothes/hair. Meanwhile scuff marks, bruises, and other clear indicators of fisticuffs remain uncovered and untreated.
I can only assume that the bizarre ritual of increasing a defeated opponent's hat/accessory score is meant as a show of dominance.