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File 163087273747.png - (114.35KB, 276x262, Rumia is the mpv of this story.png) [iqdb]
Time: 9 pm ; Date: 07/07/2017
Location: Forest of Magic

Today is a day like almost no other, except not. For today was a special day for a special person, except not again. The truth is this story was going to be a little bit different, a little less Anonesque.

That is to say today Anon must perish.

Members of the Anonymise Anonymous are in the majority outsiders, outsiders that must eat memes to survive, despite being good at puking up write ins all anons have lost the ability to use their brain cells however they are very good at digesting moe and garr with levels of intensity that would quickly give any of us a heart attack. Anons have evolved into exceptional invaders with extraordinary abilities of just not dying when people want them to! Yet all of this may come from the lack of an particular sense: their own individuality and any variants of them are pure bred chaos.

If you were to walk on the street and meet an Oni, it’d try to drink with you or have wrestling match. If you were to meet an Kappa, they’d try to sell their overprized wares at you. If you were to meet a tengu, they’d either act like an elitist snob or try to wrangle info out of you.

But no one knows what will happen if you meet with an anon, they might give you candy, stab you with a knife, declare their eternal love to you and many more in any order. All Anon’s lack the ability to act like a normal person or function in Society of any form. An irreversible genetic mutation in the common ancestor among them made their common sense receptors inoperable. So what may seem like an simple and logical problem to solve using a key on a door may instead give them the idea to lube up an table on oil so they can ride it down a hill and smash into the door for the same result.

This may explain why all of them have such exceptional sturdiness, their brains will not supply them with the funny amount of dopamine if they do not comply to their inner wacko, you take all my ding dongs away and I’d go a little crazy too…hence most of them lurk everywhere but the village.

What other evolutionary quirks do the anon have? How does one successfully avoid or survive an encounter with one? I’m so sad to say that you will find those answers with your own hands otherwise you’d never grow on your own and would most likely continue this rut of an existence.

Soon, the anons will arrive. They’ll come in waves that increase in intensity as time passes bye, your job is to make sure they don’t leave the forest. To let them get in and have you dispose of them is more manageable than forcing them all out one by one. Apologies for the sudden quest.

Happy Birthday Rumia! and enjoy your all you can eat buffet. More instructions will come once you manage to take down the first one. Just trust your instincts~

Dream Message sent by you know who~

...This the part where you wake up yknow? how else willl you capture all of the anons? I don't have the time to watch you drooling like a fool all cozy against a tree. Aren't you nocturnal anywa-it doesn't matter. either way this adventure cannot begin with you in this state.


[] Wake up.
[] Don’t Wake up
[] Genuflect
Forgot to add.

This is my entry for Spooktember: https://www.thp.moe/gensokyo/res/16356.html
[X] Wake up.
Good luck.
[x] Genuflect
[x] Wake up
Salute the sun.
[x] Genuflect
-[x] Just genuflect.
[X] Don’t Wake up
"The only way to win is not to play." Watatsuki No Yorihime said that, and I'd say she knows a little more about winning than you do, pal, because she invented it, and then she perfected it so that no living miko could best her in the ring of honor. Then she used her moon bullshit to capture two of every single youkai on earth, and herd them into a boat, at which point she purified the crap out of each and every one of them. And from that day forward every dighting of a lunarian was called a lunar invasion!
Unless it was a party!
File 163094797473.png - (79.06KB, 600x600, 1579784113474.png) [iqdb]
[x[ Wake up.
Time to eat!
File 16309479831.png - (18.10KB, 88x73, What does Genuflect even mean.png) [iqdb]
Good, you're getting up. with that out of the what are you doing?

It was total humiliation to be genuflecting before the man who head patted your best friend and turned your other best friend into ice cream right before your eyes…well that did not happen at all but the potential of having to face Anon in a intense life or death heaven or hell combat was real.

But you didn’t want to fight Anon, Anon is just too strong! And you were only a stage 1 boss! Yeah while there is life, there is hope. Your precious life is irreplaceable and to waste it would be an ever bigger crime than anything. Let's live in the fullest~

So you get down to one knee, clasp both of your hands together and pray to the meatball god.
May her saucy balls deliver us from the rumblies in the tumblies and may she give us strength with her chicken dinner winner liver golden crisp delight soup…free food is just so nice~



The meatball god was unusually mean today, but some part of it felt like it made sense. Who are you to fear anon? “Exactly child, you’re one of the meanest lean slean anon eating machines that have graced these parts of the woods, give Anon the hell of their life understood?”

Yes! You will defeat Anon and make everyone proud! Thank you meatball god ?Actually my name is O-? thank you meatball god! ?…Oh go suck a farm, I’m out. Yukari can deal with this drought of morons. Now how do I log out again?? and the presence is gone

You on the other hand are still there, wide awake and with a small bruise on the forehead. Wonder where that came from?

…That wasn’t really part of the plan, didn’t know you knew her but now is not the time for that, remember that the Anons are coming in around hmmm tell you what I’ll just send one out in advance just to be sure ergo right now! Think of it like a tutorial or easy mode okay? Good luck~

Oh, so there’s an Anon out and about in the tree cloud. That should be a nice dinner! You lower the intensity of your sphere of darkness so you can find the sunglasses you dropped on the ground. They make you look cool and confident and make the days more tolerable when you do have to remove the former for whatever reason. Well technically the evening sun do-enough talk.

You are the dusk of bad ends, the lurker of the night and the reason Anons no longer lurk here.
Though your heritage may be unknown and obscure your youkai blood is boiling hot!
Are you not the first Anon killer? Are you not Rumia!? These anons may be up and coming...

But before their stories can begin you will have already ripped them to pieces!

[] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!
[] …She's an loose canon, but man is she the girl for the job.
[] Go back to sleep, just 5 more minutes mom.
[] Genuflect
File 163094839738.jpg - (133.47KB, 800x1080, 1598517665762.jpg) [iqdb]
[x] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!

Hungry Rumia best Rumia. Anon better have a cow's worth of burgers to distract us if he wants to live.
[X] Go back to sleep, just 5 more minutes mom.
I refuse. You may have thought we were playing rumia but rumia is in this context powered by anon. It is solely in anon interests to anon. Anon and anon. Anon. Zzzzzz
[x] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!
After attaining victory
[x] Genuflect
[x] Genuflect
Where is mystia...
[x] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!
Your feet leave the ground, gravity unable to do a thing, you soar in the sky arms stretched to the sides like the saint who came back after 3 days. You are the hunter reawakened.

You think about Anon and how tasty they are, you think about how delicious they would be if you ate them raw, you think about how delicious they would be if you ate them boiled.

If you were to not eat Anon on the spot then perhaps you could share some of it with your friends? It’d be an anon barbeque! Now that’s tasty~

I’m glad to see that you’re starting to take this earnestly but Anon is on the other direction.

You turn around and fly amongst the trees, you notice you are in a forest. The forest looks peaceful. But all forests look peaceful don’t they? What if it was hurting inside while pretending to be okay?

You’d ask forest yourself but you’ve got an anon to hunt! And you don’t want to give a bad impression by coming late. There is an principle in all this after all.
You fly for a while but don’t see anything….only darkness up, down, left and right. You wonder why.

You’ve got half a mind to genu-“MAC AND CHEEEEZOOOOOOOO!” what was that?

You heard an good shout, a bad shout, a good bad shout, a bad good bad good shout that was quite loud. It came from below so you prepare yourself for your super Rumia landing.

*Plop!* You eat dirt, it’s hard to measure the ground when you can’t see. even so you believe in destiny: You don’t need brakes for girls like you never learned how to stop and you don’t need wheels for the wind shall carry you to where you need to go! Quite strange isn’t it?

“MAC AND CHEEEEZOOOOOOOO!” you hear the shout again, it’s definitely in the vicinity. Maybe like 10 steps away even. You could easily see them if you were to remove your sphere of darkness but you see there’s an secret in this that only you know. Yeah you didn’t even share it with your pals so prepare to be amazed.

You know how in mirrors you can like see someone from the other side of the room? Well as it turns out if you can see them then they can see you too. Therefore if you cannot see someone then they cannot see you either. Ergo to be blind is to be invisible.

Uhuh now isn’t that quite the unique mindset. Anyhow since you and anon are now in the same place allow me to explain further: You are to kill Anon, don’t care how you do it or who helped you do it. As long as this Anon is dead then we can get straight to the real deal. Honestly it should be quite easy since this anon self identifies as an happy meal. Enjoy your freebie~

Oh you will, quite soon in fact because like an hungry wolf with cool wolf sunglasses looming over a lamb with no sunglasses because it's a dumb lamb…
Anon will never know what hit them!

in rumianation
[x] Question MarkSign: Is that so?
What is going on, I'm honestly lost.
File 163105542368.jpg - (71.47KB, 657x744, 1598356824103.jpg) [iqdb]
[x] Wolf Sign: Pounces on (you)!
What's there to get? Rumia is hungry, and there is food right in front of her!

No, not in that way.
File 163110268359.png - (208.03KB, 1000x1000, You look at anon you want to eat him raw you want .png) [iqdb]
You get down to your hand and feet but not to genuflect this time! No this is the pose of the mighty jaguar. Hunter of the rainy wood seas and object of worship in the olden times. Like this ferocious feline you stalk your prey while being hidden in the darkness of the night alongside your own.

Double the darkness means double the sneakiness, in fact since you’re invisible too there’s absolutely no way for anon oh poor anon to possibly detect you. Death incarnate is you!

“MAAC AND CHEEEZOOOO-“ You hear the sound again and leap at it’s direction, your nails hitting the mark on the spot as you start to RIP AND TEAR anon to pieces, their rigid skin is slashed open as you pin them down with a hard thud to the ground! Before Anon can even react you continue the assault as you get on top of them and start a rafale of punches aimed at their surprisingly sturdy chest.
You can hear *Tok* *Tok* sounds coming from the blows and assume that’s the bones in anon’s body breaking from the stress of having your iron fists giving him doki doki punches.

Suddenly part of anon explodes and you can feel grass on the other side. Oh god you donuted anon! that would be so baddish if it wasn’t for the lack of blood and death cries coming out of him. In fact the only thing anon gave you is dust on your clothes and splinters in your hands…

Did anon try to make love to a bush before this (Not that you would judge, everyone is free to love whoever and whatever they want after all) ? Nevertheless you open your mouth and aim for the final bite straight at the throat! BONNE APPETIT ANON!

only to taste wood…anon was a tree.

I know you couldn’t hear it. But you just made me facepalm so hard right now little moon ray. You seem to be struggling so allow me to give you a little hint: Just remove that darkness sphere and kill the mac-anon already. Whether he can see or not see you doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have the strength to fight back. Also yes I’m saying he because saying they repeatedly is just annoying. Good luck~

The voice is right. That was just a fluke. You get up and remove the darkness sphere so you can see properly see anon now. You notice you are in a forest. The forest looks peaceful and the evening sun gives the whole place a reddish glint to it.
Dang if only it was autumn then the whole place would look super romantic! Not that it really matters since you’re married to your job…well you think someone has the hots for you but again married to the job! And eating anon goes first yes!

Speaking off anon there he is! Lying on the ground is an anon wearing a yellow shirt with holes in it and brown pants that look like bread.
You’re surprised they can even walk since all the mass of fat surrounding it’s body makes you think anyone else would die from like uh the blood being unable to go anywhere? It’s a big mac anon! and you are a hungry girl~

‘’MAC AND CHEEEZOOOOO!’’ mac-anon bellows a noise out of their multiple chinned neck, their eyes are completely unfocused. You’re not sure what happened to this anon but most of them don’t’ want to be eaten normally right? He’s not suicidal though since you don’t feel any regret or fear oozing out of its body…is it a sort of fetish then? Nope no lust either.

How odd.

Either way, free food is pretty good! You float towards, land on top of the island (belly) and stare them in the eyes. It’s a nice deep brown but he doesn’t seem to see you. Oh well EAT TIME!

You try to choke him but your hands slip into his skin….

You try to donut him but your fist rebounds from his belly like an trampoline….

This anon is cheating! You try one final time as energy gathers into your fist. Only for your hand to refuse to go down?

“Eat me alive” it’s mac-anon. his voice is determined and his eyes sharp “I want to witness, the fulfilment of my destiny” his arm holds back yours with an unusual force of strength as he puts it on his chest. A bug is on his shirt now. You can hear his heartbeat.

Oka- A bug is on his shirt now you realize what that means. Wriggle is coming!

Darn it no that’s unfair! You wanted to enjoy this anon and every time you have to share a meal a with her it ends up covered in worms and bugs and all that nasty stuff.

Whenever you complain about it she just gives you that sort of look that says “Are you racist Rumia?”

Of course you’re not! You respect all the communities! From bees to butterflies, squirrels to amongooses. Even the mushroom monsters! You’re a pure carnivore so you don’t eat those anyway.

But no, you don’t want to share this anon. he looks super duper yummy even if he’s weird! But that’s antisocial too! Wriggle is a friend and always shares her catches with you too. to just all eat of anon mean she might do the same next time or even worse she’ll complain to Mystia! and then you won't have free lamprey ever again!

Mac-Anon is still staring at you, ready for this destiny thing.

To Share or not to Share? That is the question!

[ ] No! This anon is yours!
- [ ] Eat anon now!
- [ ] Relocate anon!

[ ] Wait for the Wriggle, sharing is caring.
-[ ] Sike! Eat anon in front of wriggle
- [ ] Wait for realsies

[ ] Fall in love!
-[ ] with Anon!
-[ ] with Wriggle!

[ ] Genuflect
[x] Wait for the Wriggle, sharing is caring.
-[x] Wait for realsies

Commence the building of an anon ending army. Also section off your portion, dumb dumb.

[x] Genuflect
File 163112350377.jpg - (1.15MB, 931x1315, __cirno_rumia_mystia_lorelei_and_wriggle_nightbug_.jpg) [iqdb]
[x] Wait for Wriggle,
-[x] Wait for realsie,
If Wriggle shares with us then we share with Wriggle. But make sure to grab a leg - thigh muscles are good protein.
[X ] Fall in love!
-[ X] with Anon!
[x] Wait for the Wriggle, sharing is caring.
- [x] Wait for realsies

([x] Fall in love!
-[x] with Wriggle!)
File 163119031322.png - (123.05KB, 277x306, It's Wriggle time!.png) [iqdb]
You decide to wait for Wriggle after all, it’s only fair to wait for her since the best meals are meals that are shared. Let no one say you are a bad friend!

“…?” Anon is looking at you with anticipation and confusion. If not a bit impatient.

You don’t really care about that and give him a shushing motion with your free hand, since why should the hunter care about the prey’s emotion? You are the top and anon the bottom.

That aside what to do know? There isn’t much a person can do when they’re on top of someone. Well his stomach is like an trampoline right? Let’s have some fun after all!

Boing~ Boing~ You jump on anon and enjoy the bouncing it gives you. It’s almost like being on a shaky bed except more entertaining. People should get more often on top of each other for fun times!

One flip! Two flip! You even manage to do some neat tricks, one day you’ll master the jump and become Ju

….why do you feel an bulge on your foot? Did you step on a pocket?

“It’s a natural body reaction” anon says dismissively “Am I going to be eaten or what?” his breathing is a bit raspy and his cheeks are red.

You’re not sure what that means but it doesn’t look innocent.

Wait…..wait! this is exactly what Mysti told you about!

The purification rod and the youkai bun!

The Bishamonten and the amanojaku!

The minihakkero and the master spark!

And other expressions.

Anon is in love with you!

He wants to make da behbehs!

Pollinate the sunflower!

Your hearts beats a bit faster at such a revelation but that’s quickly replaced with sadness.


“Sorry Anon, but this wasn’t meant to be!” you cry out with a tear in your eye as your teeth meet and tear through his throat like butter.

Not a single word comes out of him except “THAnkxanxasjasolnaaaaaaa” and blood flows out of him like a river of romance-like attributes.

He’s bleeding love as the light fades from his eyes. But you do not look away.

No, you keep eye contact until the one known as anon has died. Your bond may have been short lived and the confession was odd if not outright rude. But you admire the courage behind it.

(….What is this shi-ahem. That’s one anon down…and you’re not listening are you?)

You get off anon and start to genuflect.

(Yup you’re not listening to me)

Please hear this prayer, my most delicious and stomach rumbling Meatball God!

“Hello, welcome to the XXXXXXXXXXX Faith Line. How may I help you?” your prayer has been answered! The voice is younger and more girlish but it’s a voice regardless!

“Currently all contacts are occupied, please leave a prayer after the beep *beep*’’ You do.

“Farewell Anon, and thank you for the yummy meal you are about to deliver. May the meatball god turn you into a most delicious bun for your next life and may you find a lady bun that loves you too. May her musky sauce and quivering noodles show you the way to meatball paradise!’’

“Have a nice rest of your day, and you will probably be called back as soon as we’re able” the connection is lost once again.

A boyish voice is suddenly heard “Sup Rum” you look at the source of the voice

“What’s with that weird posture? Nice catch you got there by the way”

Standing there next to anon is your friend in all her glory. Cape fluttering in the wind, pretty fireflies all over her as if she's sparkling and her face is covered by shades similar to yours. it all ends with a confident smile...she really loves the dramatic and it shows on the one and only Bug that lightens the Night. And she’s taking the first bite. She’s taking the first bite

How dare you Wriggle! The first bite is always the best one!

You quickly run up and chew on one of anon’s legs. Those are the most muscular and healthy parts of an human’s body after all.

High on protein too!

Wriggle doesn’t say more and calmly continues to eat as well. She knows that you don’t like to talk with your mouth full. And you appreciate her understanding it.

After a few minutes of quiet eating, anon has become nothing more than bones!

You are not satisfied by just this. “Let’s hunt for more!”

You hunger for anon
“Hm?” Wriggle is cleaning her teeth with a stick. “You’re saying this fatso got twins or something?”

“Of course! It’s anon season!” You reply in joy.

And lie down to make bone angels out of anon. “There’s going to be lots of them here soon, and I’m going to eat them all!”

(Can I speak now? Wait no that’s the middle of an conversation. Ahem fine I’ll take a coffee break for now. Just genuflect or something once you’re ready for your next task)

Wriggle nods and lies on his side relaxed. Just doing nothing after a meal feels so good~ “Sounds like quite the adventure” the excitement in her voice can't be more obvouis.

“It’s going to be the BEST adventure! Want to join me?” You chirp.

“Nah” Wriggle refuses to join the party daw. “Thanks for the meal but I’m busy right now” she frowns.

“Busy with what?” You reflexively ask.

“Cirno has gone missing" She gets up and continues "Last time she was seen she said she was going to have a rematch with the witch. But she didn’t specify which witch so it’s up to me to find out!”

“What of the mansion?” You suggest, that’s close to the lake no?

“Noone saw her there, Dai has gone to infiltrate the house too by like becoming a fairy maid or something?” She shrugs and waves a hand.

A bunch of fireflies swarm together to create the shape of the number two. “That leaves the doll freak and laser bitch” you could have used your hand for the wait what!?

Colour leaves your face at their mention and memories of dolls stabbing through your flesh, lasers piercing your skin and many more unpleasant things come to mind. Lucky for you your SUPERIOR shades make you look unfazed.

Yeaaah that sounds like a bad time!

[] Oh….I-I can help!
[] Good luck! You got anons to hunt!
[] Genuflect
[X] I can help!

I have a dream: To reasamble team 9 and defeat the legion that is Anon.

If Magic Team has to be in the way then so be it.
[x] Oh….I-I can help!

Glorious team 9 fanon for killing Anon!
Our battle will be legendary!
File 163121830580.png - (1.31MB, 992x1296, __cirno_rumia_mystia_lorelei_and_wriggle_nightbug_.png) [iqdb]
[x] I can help!
I'm not sure how useful Daiyousei or Cirno will be for the hunt, but FRIENDS.
File 163127479114.png - (290.77KB, 600x700, BWahahaha I am the queen of comedy.png) [iqdb]
You shake away the fear by moving your head out and about in a rotational manner,
that means shaking the fear away just so you know. Kind of overly fancy to say huh.

Anyway you bravely declare “I can help! With your two eyes and my two eyes we will have twice the amount of eyes to look for Cirno!” and show Wriggle your hand for the good old gesture.

“Really?” she shakes it with a firm grip, smiling again “I hoped you would say that”

“And afterwards both of you can help me hunt Anon!” you are a smart youkai.

“So you’re only coming so you can eat?” that was not an wholesome tone.

“Say that again but in a more wholesome way” you defend your honor.

“So you’re only coming so you can consume?” somehow that sounds even worse.

“Yes!” You’re given up glad she understands, this way you can help your friends and then have them help you

She shrugs, as if she did not know what to expect but this. “Fine by me, anyway where should we go?” she asks YOU for some reason.

“Why are you asking me?” you ask back a question to her question, which is quite improper for a question demands a answer and an ans-you feel like this bit was already done and stop. “Are you lost? You live here!” you move to outstretch your arms as an exclamation but they are already in that position so instead you do nothing but wiggle your fingers a bit.

Her arms go to support her head like a pillow? It looks like a pose that indicates she’s thinking but chilling at the same time “My bad, I mean which witch house should we visit first? The doll one is most likely home at this hour but the other one you never know….we could trash her place if so~”

Sounds like fun “And you’re certain one of them has Cirno?”

She nods “Not really, but they’re aren’t many witches out here now are there? Hell even both of em could know where she went. She’s not hard to notice” that’s saying it mildly.

“Okay, and why is this is my decision again?” you ask her again.

“Because you’re the boss?”

“I’m the boss? The boss of what?”

“The boss of this *team*” she waves her hands “Even if that’s only cause you keep insisting on it. How could you forget that?” she asks as if it’s an actual problem. Probably sarcasm.

“Do you remember your failed insect services?” you snark back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Wriggle says a bit too hurriedly.

You helpfully clarify “You tried to make insects more useful to society or whatever but ended up ge-“

“That’s enough chatting!” Wriggle kicks your knee to make you shut up. It did not hurt “SO Alice’s house or Marisa’s house. Which one do you want to go to?”

“Gettingburnedoutslashboredandgaveupafteronly2weeks!” but no social standard can stop you.

“Whatever” Rubbing her chin in mild annoyance, the wriggle continues “You’re trying to annoy m-“

“Hehe~” you wave your hands up and down like a nightbird “Would you say that I am bugging you?” and move your eyebrows up and down like you’re a comedic genius for that pun. “GET IT?” you keep grinning.

“Why you pfah” She stops herself, a laugh almost escaping her as takes deep breaths. “Stop”

“What’s wrong? Do you dislike the way I move my eyebrows? The way I wriggle them?”

“PFFf-Stoooooooop~” and now she’s holding her stomach. “You’re not clever!”

“Not clever? I thought I was Rumia!”

“STOP….just...aaaahh I will not laugh” Damn she’s good at holding it in. her body is shaking and her face is red “I am ABOVE this witless banter” and she flies away expecting me to follow.

Well you're not!

[ ] Keep going.
[ ] Nah, that’s enough.

Also where to go?

[ ] The domain of the doll-maker.
[ ] The ordinary abode of an magician.

[ ] Genuflect.
File 163127635046.png - (1.62MB, 1253x1726, 1586003646951.png) [iqdb]
[x] Keep going.
Make this a thing when interacting with everyone, no matter the tension

[x] Lets bother Marisa.
What could go wrong?
[x] Nah, that’s enough. THIS TIME!
Rumia the Punful

[x] The overly cluttered abode of a magician.
Marisa's house cannot physically get any dirtier. Any wreckage we can cause would only make it cleaner.
File 163137571316.png - (876.77KB, 1068x867, IT AINT CHEATING WHEN I DO IT.png) [iqdb]
You float after Wriggle, carefree like the wind and deadly like a rock~
Actually rocks aren’t that dangerous now are they? Unless they come at your head at like a high enough speed to make your skull crack like an egg. An anon omelettes sounds nice

“Let’s go to the witch house! The laser one” you clarify while next to Wriggle “Also nice pun~”

Wriggle simply nods and fastens the pace “What pun?” occasionally dodging a tree or bird.

You soar through the sky with your fellow hunter, the fluttering of your clothes and your chit chat being the only noise an prey from below could hear before you’d dive at them. But by then it’d be too late of course~ the reaction time of the victim would only have the time to register their last thoughts. “Oh no” or “Why is it so dark all of a sudden?” sometimes both!

“Nothing” you know better than to explain a joke, once someone does that it stops being funny and looks outright desperate if anything. Naturally you know this because you are you. Acting cute or like an awkward dork makes it easier for prey to lower their guard only for the little girl to snap their neck!

Truly you are an threat to mankind~

But that is enough self-titbits! You have a Mari-An Anon to hunt! Forget the former cause she can and will kick our cutie patooties like uuh…. ”What rhymes with patooty?”

“Cutie, smoothie, beauty?” She looks at you for a short sec “Can you take this seriously please?” her tone is mild mix of scolding and tiredness “I don’t want to hear this all day kay?”

“Okay, in that case I’ll go full speed now!” you start to gather most of your power…

“Oho so you want to race?" a glint comes in her eye but she quickly feigns disinterest with a yawn "Maaan~ I'm not sure...what does the winner get?" You know she's interested.

"They'll get uh dibs on the first shiny thing we find!" of course you'll win anyway.

''Hmmmmmm....let me think~" Wriggle rubs her chin, snaps her finger and points it at me "Okay but I get to do the countdown"

"That's fine by me"

"Okay I'll count to 10, prepare yourself" and she starts to focus as well.

Both of us land at the ground and get on our feet. ready to fly off anytime!

You turn off all outside filters, no visuals, no sound, only the beating of your own heart can be heard.
You are Rumia. Master of the Night, Maiden of the Shadows. Lord of Darkness. It is through your efforts that people no longer let their kids play in the woods nor do couples in love frolic in the bushes due to their of you! You are the terror in the shadows, the fear of the dark incarnate and you LOVE your job: To consume them hummie-"10!'' and your world turns upside down.

“Sucker!” and Wriggle uses the opportunity to dash ahead! How dare she interrupt your musings! “It doesn’t matter how fast or strong you are if you’re smart. Cause the smartest always win!”

Darn it, you were about to give an awesome cha-Ugh screw it! MOON SIGN : MOONLIGHT RAY!

Two blue balls of an aquamarine shade come forth from your hands, “FIRE!” and they turn into fierce streams of twin lasers that you aim behind yourself, the knockback is like having a rocket attached behind yourself as your speed goes up to ELEVEN. Or TWELVE? Whatever.

Your surroundings become blurry and your eyes watery as you turn into a yellow blur of death followed by a blue trail of bullets, tears and some mild regret at not better considering the consequences of your actions. Too late to stop though!

Trees! Rocks! Fairies! You have to change your position almost every second to avoid the many obstacles that come from flying at a higher speed than one is used to! Your eyes water! your head is ringing! and frankly your bowel doesn’t feel too stable now! BUT YOU WILL NOT STOP!

And something gets smacked into your face. "Tell me, have you played Ra-'' you push it off your face and quickly continue! No time for random encounters!

Indeed for the little Night bug is but a little distance away, unaware of your sudden increase in max velocity and soon she will obtain a new surprise. Wriggle Sign: Little Bug Storm! Oh no

Dozens of bullets are heading your way and you’re going too fast to dodge them Wriggle turns around mid-flight and pulls her tongue at you, taunting you once again before continuing. She’s confident in her win due to the thing above and the fact the bullets encircle her, becoming denser and denser as one approaches like a shield. It is both an attack and a defence! A marvellous strategy!

The worst part is you have to go through it. You are going too fast to take a sudden turn left or right and have the feeling she would simply reposition herself in front of you.

What to do in this situation? You could try to simply grit your teeth and hope the bullets won’t knock you out cold thus making you fall down and eat dirt like a loser or you could try to lower your speed and accept the fact that she outsmarted you….except not.

This thing is on timeout and has 20 seconds left to go, the not having brakes was not a metaphor.

So you’re between a rock and a hot place. The kind of place you have to choose yourself! Like meatballs in a soup!

You have no idea who the voice is!

You feel like there's something on your leg!

You can't believe Wriggle outsmarted you!

But most importantly!


[ ] UP TO 20!
[ ] Slow down at any cost! with no pain hopefully.
[ ] Throw whatever has hanged onto you.
[ ] Genuflect.

Author note: By the way how does the pacing feel to y'all?
This is rather simple for me to update, so I can even just continue the moment anon has come to a decision instead of waiting 24 hours first.
File 163139972342.jpg - (1.07MB, 2000x1714, 28454032_p0.jpg) [iqdb]
[x] Use whatever is hanging on to you as a shield, go UP TO 20!
I'm ok with any update speed, just don't go and burn yourself out.
[x] Use whatever is hanging on to you as a shield, go UP TO 20!
Stowaways are to act as part of the crew!

Pacing is good so far. Daily is nice, but it's nice to see things relatively consistent in update size. Keep at it at a suitable pace for fun updates like these have been!
File 163146931386.png - (39.78KB, 245x237, Never skating again.png) [iqdb]
That’s right! You’re a little widdle girlie!

Wait no you’re not, you totally meant Monstar!

The coolest kind of monster!

You own coolness aside you look down at your leg to see what the stowaway is.

It’s a cardboard box looking creature with a huge face and tiny arms that look way too realistic.

It’s ugly as fuck, therefore it deserves to die. That’s the rule of the jungle.

It looks like it’s been speaking the whole time it was attached to you.

“Play it now and get a extra two thousa-“ you don’t care and pick it up with our jaw.

You are one nimble girl, like a tiger that followed yoga class-why is the ground so close now?

Ah your arms are pointing upwards now becau-NO TIME TO THINK ACT NOW!

The following seconds were a blur but if you had to resume it in one word it’d be: Box surfing.

Somehow you managed to get on top of the box and use it’s body against the ground like a meat shield, your balance is all over the place but now none of the bullets are reaching you.

But why? …oh! It’s because you went down! You couldn’t go left or right but there was no such restriction against going up or down! 3 dimensional movement are the best!

Except Wriggle doesn’t take too long to notice and tries to float closer to the ground. ''Oh no you don't!" and she shoots more aimed shots at you as she goes down bit by bit. the opportunity slowly closing.

“Oh yes I do” but you won't let your chance go away and increase the pace, it feels like you could fall off any moment but now wasn't time for fear nor restraint. no now was DO OR DIE time.

UP TO 20 YOU LITTLE BUG SUCKER! MOON LIGHT SIGN: MOON RAY (LUNATIC) your speed goes UP TO 20 and BEYOOOND, the speed so fast the box goes off the ground. you're going completely blind now!

RIGHT BACK AT YA YA SHADOW LOSER!: FIREFLY SIGN: METEORS ON EARTH ( LUNATIC ) Wriggle decides at the last possible moment that if she can't stop you from passing. then she'll have to CRASH into YOU!

Time slows to a crawl as the view of you and Wriggle escalating what was supposed to be a small game into an outright life or death competition comes to your mind. why is this happening again? there was a price right?

A small moment of pre-about to do something awesome clarity comes over to you: that's simply how your nature is like. as a youkai it is only normal to have your blood boil for conflict and violence. it makes one feel alive.

It's why most of your social life are dick measuring with the others, who's the strongest against Cirno, who's the most charming against Mystia and who's the smartest against Wriggle. these bastards add spice to your life.

Boy do you love them for it! and you feel like you're going a bit too far. someone might actually get hurt.

Only a micro second before the impact, you decide to do a small flip so the stowaway can cushion most of the blo-

*BOOOOOOM!* it explodes into bloody gibs the moment both of feet hit each sides as everything goes black...

….You wake up in complete darkness, the surroundings feel tight, dry and isolating as if something or someone is trying to choke you in a sea of nothingness.

Moving around feels hard for some reason, like a bunch of stones are crushing your windpipe while you await a most agonizing death...if you were human that is.

Wait that aside did you just die? You’re covered in blood but wait no it isn’t yours. Oof.

The first thing you do is lick it. that's only common sense.

You smack your lips a bit and let the flavour roll around a bit in your tongue trying to see if you recall anything about it….
yep that is definitely anon blood.

Anyway there really isn’t much to do here other than question how your life went?

You feel like you definitely won that race so perhaps it was all worth it? Definitely! You have no regrets in life!

Except eating more anon, they all tasted so good. It makes your stomach rumble~

You decide to not die for today (Come on, dying on an empty stomach?) and climb your way up through the darkness you are in? you definitely feel solid stuff when you can scratch around so perhaps you were buried alive?

Your musings don’t last long though as soon you see the light!

….And garbage everywhere once you exit the sea of items your corpse as a short acquaintance off.

The room you were in could have been the personification for chaos if you were such a fancy of gal to describe things like that: there are books on the floor, chairs on what seems to be the ceiling? Liquids leaking from surfaces that don’t look so wholesome and a giant girl shaped hole coming out from one of the walls nearby.

You wonder who’s responsible for the latter. What a rude way to enter

You dust yourself off and hear some moans when you walk by another hump of items. Ghosts?

It’s kind of spooky. What if the items were sentient and wanted to consume you?

Anyway you’re in item hell, there’s no Wriggle but you remember your reward! You get to pick the first shiny thing you want in this place right? Let’s go for the looooooot!

[ ] Ooh, that’s a shiny lamp. Let’s rub it!
[ ] Ooh, those are some yummy legs sticking out. Let’s eat em!
[ ] Ooh, that’s a nice mini furnace. Let’s have a barbeque!
[ ] Oooh, is that a chainsaw?? let's cut anons with it!
It's assumed that you only pick one of the above

[ ] Call out for Wriggle
[ ] Escape item Hell
[ ] Genuflect.

Author note: Thanks for comment on the pacing and will keep it in mind.
[x] Oooh, is that a chainsaw?? let's cut anons with it!

[x] Call for Tewi Wriggle.
We came here to find a Cirno, we ain't going back now.
[x] Ooh, those are some yummy legs
[x] Don't eat em raw! oil em! boil em! put em in a soup!

[x] Call for Wriggle.

I think that's Marisa under the pile. let's interrogate here for where the strongest is.

But if it's just a bunch of legs.

[x] Rub dat lamp
[x] Wish for Cirno.
File 163153212176.jpg - (1.03MB, 1024x1024, 630125fb6f995d70f80f947208d56a3227dcc45e.jpg) [iqdb]
[x] Pic Related
[x] Escape item Hell.
[X] Ooh, those are some yummy legs sticking out. Let’s eat 'em!
- [X] Roast 'em with the mini furnace!
File 163156553188.png - (325.70KB, 457x671, Rumia#65 (GARR).png) [iqdb]
77 101 97 110 119 104 105 108 101 32 105 110 32 119 111 114 108 100 115 32 115 105 109 105 108 97 114 32 116 111 32 111 117 114 115 32 97 110 100 32 116 105 109 101 115 32 111 110 99 101 32 112 97 115 115 101 100 58:

Time: 9: 30 Pm ; Date: 07/07/17
Location: Marisa’s house #68B

You look at the items for a second, they all look so nice.

You wonder if you could just take them all and leave with em?

Nah, you walk towards what you think was a chainsaw and pick it up.

It is a chainsaw! With a black handle and pink blades it looks really girly!

It also has your name engraved on it? So it must be yours!

You hold it with both hands and pull on the whatchacall thingie that makes it go vrrrrr vrrrrrr~

VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! yeah just like that! Now that it has turned o- IIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAVVVEEEEEEEEEE AWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKEEEEEEEEEENEEEEEEEEEEED!! the chainsaw shouts out a deep voice, filled with joy and relief as it glows luminescent.

You drop it cause objects don’t talk. It IS possessed after all. So back to the trash!

OW, You fucking bitch! Who in the nine fucks just drops a man like that!? Do you wanna die is that it? Where are you motherfucker!? Come here so you can buy the farm! it starts to sink into the trash Wait….no no! no! NO! I don’t want go to back in there! Someone! Anyone pick me up! I WAS KIDDING BRO! IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO! You just watch it slowly sink. The regret and fear oozing out of it filling a little bit of your appeti-


“Why are you calling me master?” you pick it up, your curiosity is aroused like a musking elephant.

Who said tha-ah It doesn’t have eyes but you feel a gaze regardless. M-master! You’re alive! and now you can swear it feels like it’s about to burst into tears. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

“??” you frown for a moment. Did you really know this thing? You’re certain of not. “Stop lying!”

………. It stays quiet.

You stay quiet.

The yummy legs nearby are moving and mhhhhm and hnnhhgggh noises can be heard from it.

Those moe moe~ bastards got to you didn’t they? Fucking anons just brainwashing little girls like that. Do you REALLY not know who I am? Not even the slightest feeling of familiarity?

You shake your head “Never met you in my whole life~” and start to get confused.

I’ll make it short then since we don’t have much time: You and me have GARR POWER. The epitome of what is COOL, GREAT, AWESOME, MANLY! all in one energy source.

Our goal is to defeat the stupid evil power that is MOE. The power of all that is frail, dumb, cute and WEAK! I am MOEFIRMANATOR: THE MACHINE THAT MAKES LITTLE GIRLS INTO BIG MEN! and you are Rumia: Big Strong Little Girl Man and wielder of ME. The magical organization of MOE: Magical Organization of Ethicality also known as a bunch of fucking mary sues out to ethnic cleanse the SHIT out of anything that isn’t wholesome has found it’s way into this la-

“Make it shorter!”

Help me CUT APART *magical SPACE nazis that are out to make everyone BORING and PEACELOVING. Via BRAINWASHING HEADPATS if you don’t COMPLY* by GUTTING and RIPPING the shit out of em using ME as your GARR WEAPON to keep the fuckers PERMADEATH!

“So you want to hunt anon with me?”

Are these anons characters that are either batshit unpredictable or mind numbingly boring due to how Overpowered they are? Nator something inquires.

“Sure? I’ve like killed two with almost no effort so far .Unless that’s only on easy mode? What’s an easy mode anyway? Does that mean things will become harder?” you ask

That works just fine by me. You want something dead or ripped apart then I’m your weapon Master! Let us carve a path of blood and head to the garden of manliness! it ignores the question.

“I’m still not convinced” everything it said sounds like a bad story. A shitty one even.

They’re going to make everyone vegetarian if they win

Let’s kill those fuckheads ” you pick up the engine of death and hold it in front of you, the weight, the sound of the blades moving…it somehow feels right to ya.

(RUMIA, YOUKAI OF DUSK. YOU PUT THAT OBJECT DOWN RIGHT NOW!) and another voice come-oh no she’s just back.

“Why?” You don’t outright say no since she got you two free meals.

(WHY? Be- because that’s a! THAT”S A ANON OBJECT YOU…) the voice takes a deep breath (Look, that’s an anonymous object you’re holding. It’s not some youkai nor magical object. That right there is one of the many anomalies trying to enter the forest. Anons can be anything and anyone and that is an anon)

An anon? what kind of lies did this PUSSY put through your brain master? I only live to cut down the flesh of your foes. No more no less. What’s there to be suspicious about? Fucking hell

(Rumia listen to me! We’ve only known each other for like a few minutes and sure I could have better explained some stuff before just throwing into stuff but you need to DROP that thing.

Believe in me! That’s an anon object out to derail all of our efforts and to make your life end into a freaking mess. YOU MUST NOT TRUST IT. I’ll explain everything if you just leave now. Drop the chainsaw! Actually don’t touch anything you found. Just burn it all or something!)

….To be honest, they’re both pretty suspicious now that you think of it.

Don’t they both want you to you just kill people? Not that you mind since people are yummy but any adventure that’s like all difficult and no fun is no good either.

Yeah they’re not trustworthy.

Is that the right word? not to say they seem deceitful but hey you've only known them for so long.

But you know someone who you definitely trust!

WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ” You call out for your friend, please hear my cry for aid you Bugger “I HAAAAAAAAAVE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD” you say afterwards just to tempt her into running for you.
Unless that’s for dogs and cats? Who cares. Let’s tune both voices out!

You hear a noise behind yourself and turn around ready for battle.

Suddenly 5 adolescent shinobi kappa have surrounded you. They don’t look friendly.

Except not, it’s just the legs. They grew a butt.

Does that mean they’re evolving? The secret behind the butt?

No, that sounds wrong. The secret inside the butt?

*Grumblies in the tumblies* Ah yes, you hunger for Anon butt.

But where does one find good food in this place?

Is there even a kitchen?

Will Mom and Dad get along? these voices ever shut up!?

Find out right now!

[ ] Trust the Saw, hunt for Moe (GARR route?) (Mutually exclusive from Voice)

[ ] Trust Voice, hunt for Anon (Anon route?) (Mutually exclusive from Saw)

[ ] Just focus on helping Wriggle for now. (Wriggle route?)


And what next?
[ ] Set the house on fire
[ ] Raid the house for food.
[ ] Why raid when those legs are right there?
[ ] Options from previous update are still viable too.

Author note: Instead of asking for a tie break. here's another update!

Not sure it this technically counts as filler since you got more info. I shall await you warmly!

Friendly Reminder: I feed on your doubt, that's not a confession to being a youkai

And minor confession: I almost forgot to update today, but no way am I breaking that streak now.
[ ] Genuflect

I forgot to add that option!

I now officially deserve an thousand deaths!

Rumia versus the forces of Anon! CANCELLED!

Just kidding, but serouisly that's my bad.
[x] The saw is AWESOME it's POWERFUL it's...unruly...

[x] Genuflect. The saw may only be kept if it vows to genuflect with us. Not, like, literally- you get the idea.

Oh, and
[x] Leg option

It resonates with my soul!

[X] Make those legs into something yummy.

I'd sooner risk being manipulated by something that epic then be stuck listening to some boring voice.
File 16316510556.jpg - (475.05KB, 800x1132, This is how one cooks a meal.jpg) [iqdb]
On second thought it really doesn’t matter now does it?

You hunger for Anon

Saw hungers for Anon

We both hunger for Anon.

That makes the both of you kindred spirits!

You tighten your grip on saw to get it’s attention “I’m going to keep you on one condition”

And WHAT would THAT be Master? It immediately pays attention to you.

(Rumia you are making a deadly mistake!) Voice repeats itself like a radio.

You ignore it “You genuflect with me….to me! Vow that now and uh yeah”

That could have gone better, but you’ll get used to leadership eventually.

That’s all? Sure I can do that: I VOW to follow YOU as long as you do not become a FILTHY MOE~ propagandist or testosterone DRAINING BITCH. My power is yours MASTER!

MOEFIRMANATOR is now following you! (Default nickname is Saw).

That sure was easy, in a good way. Why you would ever complain about that is beyond yourself…which shouldn’t be the case since you’re you.

So what now Master? Is there anyone you wish torn asunder? Saw asks you as casually as one would ask the weather.

(I am not going to all-) IGNORED, you look around the place instead.

Your eyes return to the legs, and you approach them for it is time….

GOURMET TIME! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GunbSE2yrQ )

Behold, this is the proper way to enjoy a meal (but only in occasions where you actually have a kitchen, a house and time to waste which is rare for most forest youkai but hell if you’re not going to waste this opportunity)

Freshness: A respected Gourmet only uses the best ingredients, hence one always has to double check that their stuff hasn’t already rotten.

(This is Vile Rumia, vile you hear me?)

The legs have a nice white skin to them covered in black small shoes who themselves have a bit of white wrappings around them. So on a visual basis they seem fine if not give the whole meal the appeal of a pudding dessert.

Their touch is soft and warm and confirms that it’s the succulent meat of a young maiden at the prime of her age. Not only that but one can feel the heat of the blood flowing through her veins.

This means in most cases that you’re prey is FOCKING RAW

But you like them that way anyway so let’s continue!

Seasoning: A little bit of salt and oil can do wonders to enhance the flavour of an average dish into one that is well-made. Do keep in mind the allergies of your fellows since watching your snail bud melt to death isn’t no fun.

If you don’t LIKE it then why not try to STOP it WIMP? (I cannot for I’m not allowed to physically interfere for but a few special occasions…)

Sadly you could not find such things and so are just rubbing off some of the blood on your hands on the legs as a substitute. It’s kind of hard to do since it feels dirty and sticks to one’s hands like honey but you have a secret: Just use the tongue~ (WHAT!?)

That’s right, get your face close to those legs. And start lapping up the blood you got on your body so you can smear it all across the latter’s legs at an peaceful and serious pace. Make sure the skin ingests it all by adding an extra layer once you’re done with the first round. Rinse and repeat until that white skin now gleams like an evening sun.

Another step done. You truly are a master eater.

Oh and IF the legs start kicking around in a panic then simply back off for a moment and go fetch some proper restraints! You’d hate to get your shin kicked in while cooking now would you?

Avoid all kitchen danger! Not Kitten Danger! though you can see why anyone would make that mistake. Simply don't let any in your kitchen and that's one of the two removed.

(…This is wrong on so many levels Rumia) Ign (NO! You shut up for once! And listen to me! You listen to me! Cut it out! Only anon can be eaten!)

She isn’t going to do SHIT, have your fun master and IGNORE her. Bitch is all BARK and NO BITE! ....Maybe even a MOE BASTARD!?

(SHUT UP! That’s Marisa you’re trying to fucking vore! I’m warning you Rumia if you even pull one hair on her. If you show me that you really mean to eat her then I have no choice but to interfere!)

Sorry what was that? WOOF WOOF? ARK ARK?

Now finishing touch: listen carefully for these are the final steps: put your meal under some fire, oven or what have you for apparell.

Wait a bit and out it comes cooked and ready to be used! Sadly you cannot demonstrate this part for what you thought was a mini furnace was but an useless box of bollocks!

However you can still do the cuttings, and salting for preservation.

So let us start off our chainsaw and RI-*Ding Dong* one moment.

You put down the chainsaw and investigate the noise.

Someone just rung at the door. Who could it be?

You did not expect any guests today.

[ ] Open the door
[ ] Ask “Who’s there?”
[ ] Try to take a peek.
[ ] Invite them to dinner
[ ] Stay quiet and hope the person goes away.
[ ] Genuflect

[ ] Change Nickname of Follower.
[x] Open the door
What are we gonna do? Hide the giant hole into the house?
File 163169286441.jpg - (4.68KB, 119x119, download (16).jpg) [iqdb]
You open the door, what else can you do anyway?

That blond hair, weird eyes and blue skirt can only be one person.

It is Alice, the weirdo who plays with dolls all days.

“You look like you’re thinking of something rude” she says deadpan.

“I am not” you reply while standing in front of the door, making sure she cannot see the body behind you…wait you can’t see that from the door entirely.


“Ok” Alice looks you up and down before asking “May I enter?”

“No!” you reply immediatly.

That girl has the habit of ruining any meal you come accros by saving their lives whenever they manage to get close to her home.

She's an enemy!

You don’t want that to happen again “I am busy” you point up your chin to look stuffy “Very busy”

Alice tilts her head “I thought you were Rumia?” then nods “Regardless of your name. I must enter to reclaim what belongs to me” and looks you in the eye “By force of need be”

You frown a bit “What are you looking for?”

“My house” her voices becomes a bit sad now “I cannot find it”

“…This isn’t your house though?” where is she going with this?

“You misunderstand, I think Marisa has my house”

“What?” your brain is starting to tingle “Did she steal your house?”

She nods “Imagine my distress when I go to the human village to buy some groceries
Only to find my house gone the moment I return. All of my precouis dolls were in there too”

“You poor woman!” you start to feel bad for her.

“I know she’s an raging klepto but there’s a limit to what one can and should do!"

A doll comes out of nowhere and gives her an handkerchief. “Thank you Shanghai" and she uses it.

Wait a minute "You said all your doll-"

We really aren’t having a good day” she looks at you with sympathy.


“Why yes, you are covered in blood”

“It’s not mine~” you say defensively.

“A joy to the world” she grabs your hand “Could we have some tea? I’d love some calm after all this anarchy. And you seem like a generous host” her face is really close to yours now.

What does a host mean anyway?

[ ] Let her in, have some tea.
[ ] Handholding is too lewd, headbut!
[ ] This feeling….it is love!
[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Headbutt/Spy Check

Alice is SUS, my belly button says so.
File 163172940460.jpg - (77.25KB, 435x591, Fanon Master Yandere Alice.jpg) [iqdb]
(Image is a spoiler, don't look at it until indicated plz, unless tagging a pic nsfw doesn't hide it)

You frown at her, the puppeteer has never acted this familiar with you nor does her story really make a lot of sense right?

It’s all too convenient really.

So you lean your body backwards…

And smash your skull against her forehead!

An odd watery noise can be heard from the blow and you’re if it has hurt anyone since it felt like punching the mac-anon’s belly.

Probably her since her head just fell off, not like I-wait what?

https://youtu.be/XIxldaEVSOQ (You may look at the image now)

The headless puppeteer slowly looms back up.

Her no it's size increasing as her arms stretch in an unnatural way.

Odd scars and stitches replace the once white skin and turn it an aged dusty grey.

“ruMiA” black ooze pours out its neck as it speaks

“YoU aRe” it becomes bigger and less like Alice as time goes on.

“VeRY rUdE” yet it sounds happy?

Just like earlier it’s tone comes off as odd. “bUt cLeVeR…bRaVo fOr sEeIng tHrOugh mY rUsE”

It tends out an bloated hand towards you.

The scent of death fish and nails black as charcoal show that touching it would be an bad idea.

So you don't.

You also take a step back to give it space “Who….no WHAT are you?” you ask with curiosity.

“KUHuHuhU~” it has no mouth yet you hear it laugh. “I’M jUsT yOur frIEnd?”

You shake your head “You’re smelly, weird and quite ugly. And I was never friends with Alice?”

“KUhuU-EGho~” it cackles to some joke only it understands “YOu aRe so cUtE RUmI, sO YoUnG aNd fIlLeD wItH JOY, yoUr lOvAbLe sKiN fReSh aS a sPrInG leAF. ThAt sUnNy lOoKing haIr aNd thOsE bEaUtIGul crImSoN PeEpErS aRe sYcH a joY tO lOoK at…yOu’Re vErY prEtYy RUmIa. wAnT tO bE fRiEnDs?” something wooden starts to grow out of the stump you made, it continues growing…

“Nah~” You just refuse her like that “I’ve got enough pals already, also you’re ugly!” you laugh.

It stops laughing and just stares at you

You stare back all smile “UUUuuuuuuglyyyyyyyyyyyy” and you giggle as you taunt it.

(What the duck are you doing, do not agitate it) oh and the voice is back again.

“NoW nOw rU-“Ugly like a dead cat, ugly like a rat. Ugly like something that’s better off dead!” you interrupt it to create a new song. The ugly song! For things just like these.

(Don't care if you'll listen to this or not but you have to hear it: That is not an ordinary Anon it is a Fanon Master. a creature more powerful and rarer than most anons you would meet during your hunt. they have the ability to influence people if not outright posses them and cannot be reasoned with. It will kill you for the fun of it so run! run for your life because there's no way for you to possibly defeat such a thing in your current stage! this is Hard mode Rumia!)

“…..” All of it turns to flies as it gains a new form: an amalgamation of Alice and not Alice is born before you, fierce wood like antennas are on its head now and two small dolls decorate it. Only one looks similar to it as the other has green hair accompanied by a cutesy cape, both seem more alive than it. The face of it has not been properly restored as the eyes are empty and the nose outright gone. The mouth is however still there with rows and rows of teeth in it, they are stained black by the eyes oozing ooze into the mouth and overall it gives it a more wilder impression. The arms and hands have become the size of your skull…No it could crush you with one hand and larger than the item hell house. It seems to have outright lost all sense of fashion at the lower body since that one resembles a fire fly larva with it’s tough hides and several insect legs, it’s a new breed of doll, insect and whatever it was made off.

“YOuR imMaTuRe bEhAvoIR iS sUcH a sHaMe…I WiLl hAvE tO tAkE yOuR bOdY aFtEr yOu’Re DeAd” an edge is behind it’s voice and dolls spawn out of the body, their appearances a pitch perfect copy of him except for the heads, those are comically larger than their own bodies.

Also they wield weapons, how convenient.

Your weapon is still inside the house, how inconvenient.

You can’t help but continue giggling “Scary~ but that won’t happen if I eat you first!” why would you fear it? it's nothing but a fake youkai right? "You smell like an Anon"

“J̷͈͕͕̹̄͂̽ơ̶͕̣̞͍̭̝̜̹̠̥͝I̶̻̦͗̀́̓͆̑͌̌̚͝n̶̙̙̬͓͙̗̑̀͘ ̷̝̲̱̦̹͕̣̽̊̓̂̔̓͜͜t̸̤̬̫̬͇̎̽̀̇̀͊̅͗͑̚H̷̛̙͎̺̤̩̙̖͈̓͗̏̾͘͜͝͝͝ę̶͔͖̜̀͆̏̅͜ ̸̢̧̢̬͖̃͗̽̑̎̕̕͝F̵̢̩̹̲͈̞̙̀̊̽̾̒͑a̵̲̜͈͔̠̫̻͇͂̈́̀M̶͓͖̼̺͗̐̈́̍̉͊į̷̬͙̞̳̘̌́̏̉̅͐̓L̶͔̟̀͂͑̈́́̃̇͛̚͠y̶̡̥͙͖͌͛͂̇̋̏̓̚ ̶̡̛̜͔͎̱̙̭͍̊̅̾̍̂́͘ͅr̸̡̼̟͚̱̺̼̒̍Ǘ̶̲͖̱̞͍̠͔͓̙͈̋͗́̐̎̋̓͊m̶̜̋ͅi̸̤̣̱̻̻̠͈̓̃͐̏̐̃̂̚͠͝À̴͔̙Ȁ̷̲̦̻͖̖̤̮͚A̴̢̭͚̝̹̲̩̝̠̳̿͌̄̑̎́̈́̈̀͘A̸̡̧̲͇̭̻̥̋ͅͅÄ̶̗́̉̅̀̎͊͑̌͊À̶̘̠͙̻̕͜!̵̀̈́̕
̧̬̠̣̺̳̻̍̒͌͘͜”̴̯̘͎̩̖͈̮̖̂͒̃͆̀̓͌͑̅͐!” The battle cry has been shouted, its arms swing towards you trying to crush you, dolls charge to impale you with their weapons and you…

You are going to fight! (Music changes to https://youtu.be/dnM-AGiAtxk for the following posts.)

You are the Youkai of Dusk, the lurker in the night. The one that humans fear and run from at sight

Though your heritage may be unknown and obscure, your youkai blood is boiling hot.
You know the odds are low, and you don’t know where your friends are either but that doesn’t mean now is the time to get scared or give up!

(...I knew you would say that. There is no controlling you after all. Heavens know I tried to do my job properly too...
But the least I can do is help you regardless. I'll observe the fight and will see if I notice any weaknesses or have any hints to give....like try to free the host? it's but a parasite corrupting someone... never mind that was kind of an random suggestion, the only way to help them now would to beat it out of them probably...sorry info is low on these since again rare.

Just press Get a clue whenever it's available. No shame in doing so.

Anyway as your guide I will do my best to make sure that the hunt will proceed smoothly)

Your heart is beating with the heat of an raging fire! Your friends are spread throughout the land! But no Anon will get to stand in your way! Feel the might of the shadows! The darkness that can overcome even the fiercest of light! Prepare yourself for Rumia!

A hopeless battle starts: Fanon Master: Yandere Alice wants your body!

Rumia versus the forces of Anon!

[ ] Darkness! use the opportunity to go for the first strike!
[ ] Retreat inside! Get rid of the minions in the house!
[ ] Curtain Fire! Fly and shoot to outmanoeuvre em!
[ ] Write in.

[ ] Genuflect. Rumia refuses to surrender!

Easy Mode has ended, Rumia's plot armor is gone so in circumstances like these you can now die!
File 163173660387.png - (1.23MB, 876x1067, 91079981_p0.png) [iqdb]
[x] Retreat inside, Get Marisa, destroy the minions.
By Okina, I hope Marisa is still herself. And that she can be woken up without to much trouble. And that she can help fight quickly
File 163181210358.jpg - (11.02KB, 259x194, Ayup she KO.jpg) [iqdb]
You Rumia are about to be crushed into paste and turned into a pincushion by something that may or not be out of your league.

(What are the odds of one little girl beating up an eldritch creature?)

Surely one can use the power of friendship to prevail against all odds or something along the lines like that…

(Yeah no, fighting that head on is just begging for death. )

So you shoot a laser to force yourself backwards. The gigantic hand crushes the spot you were just on as your ass is knocked back inside the house.

The bug-dolls? give chase immediately like wild dogs out on a hunt.

You quickly get up and slam the door shut before a bunch of spears stick out from the other side like raindrops.

The dolls are beating against it and will soon manage to get inside, even faster once they realize there’s a big giant hole just on the other side of the place.

There’s no time to lose!

But what does one do now? Make up a battle plan?

Yeah that sounds correct! But how does that work?

You try to think calmly, the thing is big and can make dolls but it also has insect powers…so it’s faking to be both Alice and Wriggle?

The strengths of both and the weakness of neither? Wait no that’d be BS.

(Again, that kind of bullshit is one of their main traits)

Enough! Think BIGGER! it is BIG therefore it is an easy target. Just shoot the hell out of it with DANMAKU and avoid melee range and you’ll be fine!

Wait no that’s an assumption too!

You feel like you're panicking and slap yourself. FOCUS Rumia! You can do this!

But CAN you even hurt it? You’re not sure, you’d need one hellavu LASER to pierce through that insect hide!

(If only you knew someone who could shoot Big lasers)

Wait a minute: Big + Laser= The Master spark! The mea-Witch can help! Her firepower could disintegrate all of it!

You rush deeper into the house and almost fall because objects are littered everywhere and manage to make it back to where you were.

The butt is still there! you approach it an-*Boom!* the sound of an explosion rings through the house, they blew up the door.

You get to the other side of the pile and start digging with one hand, ready to shoot out spray of bullets with the other. You know the witch is awake and struggling in there probably. She didn’t shout or anything so perhaps she’s lying down th- Bullets incoming!

You hide behind cover as six dolls shoot red lasers in unison at you lock you down while another double trio slowly crawl towards your cover armed with spears ready for murder.

Dolls that can strategize is cheating! or is that the bug part of em acting?

No choice but to go all out! You jump out and use NIGHT SIGN: NIGHT BIRD! Light and Dark Blue bullets come swaying out from left and right like the waves of a beach, their tempo gives the image of a bird beating it’s wings ! They force the dolls back to the defensive, the melee ones instantly fall due to their proximity. 6 down instantly

But the ranged support stops and calmly proceed to dodge the Curtain Fire, but even though their movements are slow and precise 2 more fall. (That leaves only 4)

The fancy thing about Spell cards is that they’ll keep shooting until the user has been hit a certain amount of times or enough time has spent. (Typically between 20 and 30 seconds but for simplicity you made all yours last 25)

Ergo this lets you multitask.

Aka they’re stalled, and that gives you the time you need to…

Pull the witch by her legs and force her out like a plant out of a field, and you again just barely dodge the pile trying to bury both of you.

Other than the bloodied legs (thanks to your masterful saucing), the girl only has dust and some other junk stuck over her clothes. Her head has a large bump and she’s sleep talking. Also her hat seems to have some potions hidden in it. You know cause a red one just dropped. She looks so yumm-no bad Rumia!

You slap her several times “Wake up! There’s a monster out to eat you! Yes I count! But someone else too! WAKE UP SAUCY LEGS!”

She doesn’t even respond as her cheeks become red from the impacts.”Hng…I’ll never tell where the boss is ze!” Oh god she really is in dreamlands huh, those were hard slaps too!

You wonder who’s responsible for this condition, this isn-you feel a stare drilling on your back….it’s behind you isn’t it?

(It is)

“RuMiAAAA~” Not-Alice can be heard through the hole in the wall. with its head on the ground you see one eye staring at you “cOmE tO mAmA~” it begins to make the hole larger as it inserts one finger, two fingers inside Marisa’s sanctuary and then tries to go pincer you with them as if they’re chopsticks and you a delicious snack. “don’t rUn!” it orders with a annoyed voice as it’s finger aren’t even close to getting you.

"Sorry, I'm a big girl now~" Cause you shoved the witch over your shoulder and backed off like a normal person…only to feel the sensations of a sharp needle burning your back ouch!...that vicious feeling clearly comes from danmaku.

You turn around and see the 4 remaining dolls slowly approaching as well. They’ve gotten down the timing of the spell card.

Shit that means you’re surrounded on both ends.

How to get out of this?

You could just jump through a window. Even if humans tend to be injured from glass shards because of that…hell even paper can cut the weaklings...maybe she deserves to die then? How dare she be unconscious anyway?

Or perhaps just make a mad dash through either side. Sure Danmaku hurts a lot (That's an understatement) but isn't actually lethal though getting knocked out won't end peacefully.

(The chainsaw is also another option, even if I don't approve of it)

Where did it go anyw-Oh it’s just lying there! so you pick it up.

What’d I miss Master? Is it SLAUGHTER time? that honest question makes you look back at the boss…it is tempting.

But seriously it’s now or never!

[ ] Use your own power!
-[] Create a darknesss! (Range: Self, Specify. The whole area)
-[] Shoot a laser/Shot. (on who?)
-[] Use a Spellcard! (on who?)


[ ] Go through!
-[] The hole in the wall (Boss awaits you)
-[] The door (Dolls await you)
-[] The window! (None, still a risk)


[ ] Use an item!
-[] The MOEFIRMANATOR! (on who?)
-[] The potions! (on who?)
-[] The Witch! (KO)

[ ] Get a clue!
File 163181821359.jpg - (1.09MB, 1403x1000, __rumia_touhou_drawn_by_tougetsu_hajime__c45709e57.jpg) [iqdb]
[x] Use a blast of danmaku on the window, then fly through it.
Hopefully, Eintei is open for business. Or Marisa's coat is tough enough to deflect glass.
[x] Use items
-[x]Potions to the hand
-[x]MOEFIRMANATOR to the dolls

[x] Get a clue!

We're Rumia carrying around Marisa, we need to take out targets if we plan to run. I'm also assuming that the spell card has at least ten seconds left to rush at least two dolls.
[x] Throw Marisa at the dolls.

[x] Run away during the distraction.

The witch is a deadweight, save yourself

[x] Moon Sign: Moon light Ray the fuck out.
File 16318877461.jpg - (200.82KB, 725x725, The Dojo of Go Mojo.jpg) [iqdb]
May as well have fun doing so


The world itself turns grey as time crawls to an halt.

Suddenly a voice can be heard.

Ladies and smaller ladies!

It is time for the one thing you've all been waiting for!

The Tiebreaker Dojo!


Starring your favorite hosts: The Guide, MOEFIRMANATOR and the Meatball God!

(It's a pleasure to be here~)

Ah HELL YEAH! I'm pumped and ready for CARNAGE

?................................? No response whatsoever.

Why ain't da HU answering? is she busy or wat?

(A god has to answer every prayer they get if I recall, and in times of crisises like these many people pray to deities no?
It's only natural that she's occupied since her job concerns working in the background too. I only hope she won't burn out).

Whatever, we're not here to talk about her anyway! The voters can't decide on what to do so we ought to fix that!

(Correct, but how would even start with that? they're fickle creatures and any vote is really a blessing itself)

Allow me to demonstrate:


See these two? THEY"RE FUCKING PUSSIES! How dare you RUN when you got ME to RIP AND TEAR the hell out of these bastards huh!? where is that GARR POWER inside your hearts punks!? Be manly dammit! pick me up, beat the shit out of these things and save your friend like a REAL MAN! OP foes or not, nothing can stop a m-

(SILENCE! Do not insult the voters!) *BONK* (Forgive it's indescritions, while running does involve abandonning your own friend. it is still valid for some things cannot be brute forced, is it not better to come back stronger and with more allies at the cost of being seen as cowardly than to die weak and brave and achieve nothing? >>31449 I do have to say that is quite a redundant thing to do. do you not think the enemy would just ignore the body and head for you since you're the larger threat...oh dear I just had an horrible thought)

And WHAT would that be?

(Well, like I said earlier. Fanon has the ability to possess other people. with that mention any power it's victims have become it's own right? The dolls of Margatroid and the insects of Wriggle prove that....what if it took Marisa?)

...You'd be 50 shades of FUCKED! imagine that thing knowing how to do an Master Spark or overall have it's destructive capabilities boosted by the shitton stuff she can do. let's avoid that as much as possible!

(True, but anyhow how long has it been that way? Rumia was with Wriggle just a few minutes ago and the anon invasion starts today so it couldn't have gotten Margatroid for very long either. so it can't have mastered their abilities nor find a countermeasure to any weakness the both might have and or share).

Eh, that's a nice thought and all but it doesn't matter if you don't have it. what are both bugs and dolls weak against anyway? hell if I know, but I got this to say: If you can't shank a fuck from the outside then go inside them and shank their meek insides! that's one hell of a way to take care of something bigger than you no? and those eye holes are just begging for it...if one can get past all that ooze yeah

(Maybe the ooze is inflammable? it's dark texture and slimy nature reminds me of Gasoline)

That's what I'm fueled by actually! I got enough in me to like last a dozen hours. it's the REAL manly noise ain't it?
Had to be procured by the liquids of dead dinos, aaaah if only I got to butcher one! that'd be the dream~

(You really like violence huh....)

I'm a chainsaw miss, knives live to be stabbed with. chairs live to be sat on and I live to SAW things down.
It's nothing but natural for me to desire that and I won't be shamed by it for you!

(Okay, Okay. Jeez I didn't know it was a sensitive spot for you. but anyway what else is left?)

The dolls on the antlers? they look weird I guess? if life was easy I'd bet those are the dried husks of your pals and if you cut them off they'd be freed or something? hell it could even kill em or just be smchuck bait. life is a mass of uncertain crossroads like that

(Back to one last thing then: Running away is valid yeah, and taking Kirisame to Eientei sounds like a good idea. Sure she'll be pissed off once she's treated but I'm certain she'd help once she knows her neighbor was taken as well.)

That is if the thing doesn't just chase you or follow you the whole way. Hell it could go for other residents in the forests if not Gensokyo in the background while you have fun at the Rabbit Hospital

(On second thought I don't think we are being very helpful now are we?)

One lad pressed the Get A Clue! button and the votes are tied anyway. this much info is stuff they should know anyway with some observation no? unless Rumia failed to understand all that but that's not our problem

(Uhuh, but what of the potions then?)

How would I know? read their label to see what they do. I doubt the girl would just carry them around unless they're useful no? honestly I think she can take the F-whatever was the name fuck if she just used the GARR inside herself.

(But what IS the GARR anyway?)

Is your brain rotten? it's everything cool and manly. Be bold and GARR will favor you duh!

(Mm, I see....and I've run out of things to say)

Same here, is that the end then?

(Yeah, though I do have to say you're acting a lot calmer midway this conversation. why is that?)

It would hurt my throat if I shouted all the time

(But you don't have one)

Still don't want to hurt it

That was the Tie Breaker Dojo!

Someone please vote to end this dillema!
[x] Use items
-[x]Potions to the hand
-[x]MOEFIRMANATOR to the dolls
File 163199030866.jpg - (85.00KB, 850x601, Thats right its GARR POWA.jpg) [iqdb]
A giant monster in front of you, willing yet unable to reach you due to size difference.

The house really is a temporary yet effective countermeasure against being crushed…probably due to the shitload of sharp objects there might be in here if it tried to just stomp on the house.

So you've got some time!

Except not because the murder dolls are still right behind you, the waves of bullets are still slowing them down but due to its simplicity is nothing more than a timer to them. One even returns fire to you,
another emboldened by this tries the same only to end up hit and dies.

You decide the dolls are the more immediate threats, and will CLAW!

You duck and feel a gust of wind come over your head once was, scythe like nails destroy some of the décor in the house and had you been any slower decapitated you as well. “mIsS” it growls annoyed.

Correction those aren’t nails; they are claws.

Not Alice lengthened her nails and turned them into actual scorpion claws somehow.

You decide it’s the bigger threat after all. You can’t lower your guard around either of em.

Hurriedly, you remove the hat from your dead weight and look at the first three things you can find in it: some red potion, a black pot and a cute ribbon.

Kind of garbage but it will do maybe?

“Take this!” you just throw the entire hat alongside those three at the hand in front of you!

The potion covers the hand in a liquid, but it doesn’t seem to harm it in anyway, the pot falls in front of it and only glows between black and white at an quicker pace as the second passes, and the rib- You remember something: the view of a mushroom cloud surrounded by fire and ashes…with the witch watching it all from above grinning in pride…oh no!

The pot is a bomb! THE POT IS A BOMB! It’s going to blow in a few seconds! You’re already rushing towards the entrance; the dolls are blocking passage. GET OUT OF THE WAY YO-

Master! USE me ALREADY! Say it’s slaughter time! Just say it! Okay fine!

“It is time!” you hold the Saw firmly with your right hand, again holding it feels just right “SLAUGHTER TIME!” you both declare in unison and it glows a red light aNd yOu-… あなたは素敵で魅力的ですが、あなたは男らしいアノンの力を召喚します! ガーパワー!ー!

An intense pain rings through your arm as your heart starts beating faster than it ever has, almost like it's about to rip out of your chest or die from exhaustion afterwards. Your vision becomes shaded with vermillion, your shoulder feels like it’s being pulled apart, you can hear a sharp ring in your ears. It hurts! Hurts! Hurts! Something is moving inside of you!

You try to remove it with tears in your eyes, but you can’t move, no one can move! your legs give up and you start to cry as the strange object rips apart flesh, breaks bones and bleeds you dr-it stopped.
It felt like an eternity but the intense pain stopped and you feel warm, your arm feels like it just had an hot shower. it feels as good new…and it is. Muscles that would fit on a bear, a weight that unbalances you and a length with which it can actually touch the floor and the hand part replaced with the end of an saw instead of fingers Our arm became that of an MAN!

(…I warned you Rumia, using an anon object is the same as letting it corrupt you. I hope you can turn back before it’s too late. But for now, try not to die and see the consequences of your foolishness)

We hunger for violence. EXTREME VIOLENCE even…and we know our target.

The dolls notice our change in demeanour and change their stratagem as well.
Instead of red lasers they shoot out a barrage of bullets, regardless due our speed and closing presence we can’t dodge em!

But we don’t need to!

We slump the witch of our shoulder and use her as a danmaku meat shield!

Even the useless can be useful in times like these, your imagination is the only limit on what one cannot do with an unconscious body!

Make a Marisa boat if you want to! A Marisa chair! or even a Marisa Cudgel!

Nothing can stop us now!

The bullets barrage her body and a few even graze us but we do not slow down one bit. “USELUSS!” and we’re at melee range. Time for the real fun.

“Catch!” We throw the witch at the first one and watch as it gets dragged outside by the force!
Then we dodge another shot from the second one and swing at it!

It dodges, but we continue undiscouraged! Some tables are smashed! And many more of the surroundings suffer our wrath. Nothing will stand in our way.

And it dodges again but again we swing! Swing! Swing! and spinning! We hit everything but the doll, yet your movements become faster and more precise the more your blood boils!

Swing and spin spin spin! We are a tornado of death! Nothing can stop us!

The doll’s body flies apart in three directions, black blood flying everywhere! and then another one follows when you pin it against the wall and slam your thing deep inside its guts, activate it and watch the blades RIP it apart from the inside out. THE GEARS ARE ON BABY!

YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS. This is what we live for! The heat of battle! We walk out of the house, a large BOOM and a sudden wave of heat hits our back but cool men do not look at explosion-and another BOOM comes and then another BOOM....and this time it burns our back so we immediately run away for our lives.

No point in being cool if an explosion fucking kills you, why is it happening anyway?

What was once a quant house is now the host of several explosions at once, flames cover the entire area as blue lasers shoot randomly and mushrooms clouds spawn one after another. There really isn’t a word for a gathering of explosions in one place sadly. Omniplosion!? Ultraboom?

How in the nine hells did she fit so much destruction in one hat anyway? Does she just carry those around like it’s no big deal? What if she ever dropped one by accident? That girl is a menace.

Anyhow we enjoy the cries of pain that come out of the monster’s mouth. That metallic and repugnant smell indicate it’s turning into a most fine barbecue. DI MOLTO!

What happened to the crazy bitch anyway? Oh, she’s right next to that tree a few feet away. Nothing but a few splotches of black blood on her too. guess the doll took most of the blow, a wonder she didn’t break her neck from us misjudging the strength of our new arm. Fhew!

We get closer to her and caress her cheek with our small left arm. Yup she’s still out of it…. hmm.
On closer inspection she’s quite a pretty one, isn’t she? That skin so soft and warm to the touch, that radiant blonde hair that smells like the forest, those healthy guts just waiting to be ripped out, those legs just asking to be cut into pieces….

We deserve a reward, don’t we? We’re saving her life so it’s not like she’ll miss an arm or a leg, right?

Yeah, that’s ok, we’ll just cut of one arm for the fu-

“AaGhAGHAhGHhAhJgHaAhGaAa” Ah fuck, there comes the cockblock.

We turn around, ready to slaughter whatever remains of that ugly mug…
A figure crawls from behind the wreckage that was the witch house, the mushroom cloud slowly evaporates as it slowly and we mean very slowly crawls towards us. We are quite some distance, so we whistle in mockery and tap our feet while we wait.

Fanon is still alive. Who would have guessed?

Though oh so scary Fanon looks heavily wounded, half of it’s face is gone and most of it’s body is has burn wounds or is currently burning to death. It’s eyes, hands. Literally everything is burning due to the ooze inside of its body. What kind of moron makes their own blood inflammable anyway?

But it refuses to just collapse and die, instead it decapitates itself for some reason and throws the head forward before the rest of it collapses and becomes fire fuel. Persistent bastard.

Oh well, we should be patient. We got a new body by fooling some dumb youkai after all. Can’t believe that moron actually believed the story of Garr and Moe! It was made up on the spot. Though the real joy is the fact the witch was a real blabber mouth. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have known her name.

Either way with this new body our killings can start ane-the head is giving birth.

The upper part of the head is cracking like an egg about to burst, like a miracle of life.

Actually no, more like something is burrowing out of it…oh oooh! We see now. It’s saving itself from the flames by cutting the only essential body parts it needs. Like how lizards can lose their tails this thing only needs one thing intact to survive! Fucking ty-
? Drrrrr! Drrrrr!”? what’s that noise?

A young girl’s voice speaks? ?Sorry for the wait! Our contacts are open once more, the boss will be calling you now? What are you tal-

?Hello? this is Rumia right? You genuflected a while ago, so I hope whatever trouble you have is now gone. If not, then I’m available to hear it now? A gentler and older voice can be heard now.

?Excuse me? “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”? Is that any way to speak to a god?”

Don’t care hag, we’re in the middle of something so fuck off and go bother someone else!

The boss is going to go unleash it's final form and we are going to FUCK IT UP!

?...Oh you want to play that way huh? Fine I’ll speak your language? Suddenly the voice becomes tough and energetic like a yakuza “Where is Rumia suckah!? Her signal is definitely her yet some chump that think they’re tough shit lies in front of me! Why is that huh you sunavobitch!? Did you do something to her you brain dead muscle mucker??

Heh, the dumb bitch fell for the oldest trick in the book. Her body is ours now.

?Tsk, so she did? A shame? She doesn’t sound upset ?And what do you intend to do now?

Hmmm...Beat up the motherfucker in front of me! cut apart the witch! and beat the shit out of everyone else too! probably go underground too since that's where the real MEN reside!

?Except not?

What do you mean by that? You coming to fight me hoe?

?As if, I don’t even need to bother moving from my seat. Before I’ve counted to 5, you’ll be already dead?

As if tha

You feel like you had a nightmare, one in which a friend of yours turned out not to be a friend at all. They’d go and make you do bad things, terrible things and by the end you’d die with everyone hating you for it despite being a victim as well.

?Wake up Rumia, you’re free again.

I don’t know how or why you got something that dangerous, but I have to warn you not to do that again. Those kinds of things would lead to bad ends for outsiders yknow? be glad you're not one.

Anyway I do apologize for not making it sooner, if I had then perhaps this wouldn’t have happened.

And yes I’m afraid I cannot fix your arm, but hey it’s a chainsaw arm! That’s pretty cool right? I’m sure you’ll find some use for it or let someone else fix it.

I’d love to say more but your foe is about to show their next form, so I’ll make it quick.
No matter what happens you mustn’t give up! Sure, you’re not a hero or even a noteworthy villain but even the smallest of actions can make a difference today!

Your foe is at its weakest right now while you barely have a scratch on you. This is the prime opportunity to run away or fight. I won’t judge you for it, but you must wake up first.

I’ll be honest and say I’m rooting a bit for you, having a adventure in which you assemble your friends against an greater evil is the dream of any young girl realliy. It gives off massive rpg vibes~

But that won’t happen if you lose here, so tell me can you do it Rumia?

Can you defeat Anon?

Only you can answer that! So WAKE UP! ?

You try to wake up. The odor of fire and chemicals burns your nostrils, the air feels hot and dry and when you open your eyes, they are assaulted by an unpleasant light coming from the flames absorbing the house and trees nearby.

Sleeping during a forest fire ain’t no good.

You get up and almost lose your balance due to an unusual weight, your right arm looks entirely different now and you’re not sure what to make off it.

The witch is lying nearby you, propped against a tree. There's some black blood on her for some reason. but why the hell hasn't she woken up yet!? seriously you'll beat up whoever is responsible for tha-"Hnggg, who burned and died ze?" wait she's stirring! maybe she'll wake up!

“So, you finally woke up” a voice very familiar to you says. “Aren’t you a tough bitch?” Wriggl-no…what looks like Wriggle is sitting right on top of Not Alice’s head like it’s a throne.

“….” You’re not sure what you’re feeling right now. But it’s not hunger.

“Mm~ that’s a nice look you’re giving me, makes me think it was worth it to wait for one of you to wake up. No meal is fun without a struggle after all. Don’t you agree to that?” it hums in joy.

“….” Some part of you wants to believe it’s your friend up there, that it’s all just a joke but Wriggle doesn’t have blue eyes, nor does she wear red ribbons on her head. It looks like a Wriggle cosplaying as Alice and you know she’d never change her style for any reason…Those stumps with the mini dolls are still on its head too, boldly announcing its kill count.

The surroundings couldn't be any worse if they wanted to be, smoke is making the sky seem black. Fires are propagating and making the air stench, it looks like a scene straight of hell.

You're certain there's no way people won't notice this. You're not sure if that's good or bad.

It continues speaking “I’m sure you agree, after all both you and I are hunters. We stalk our prey, partake in an exciting struggle and in the climax of the moment take their lives…well you EAT them while I ABSORB them but in the end that’s kind of the same, isn’t it?”

“……” The truth is Wriggle is gone, just like that out of nowhere. Didn’t even get to say goodbye or anything. You won’t get to see her performances again; you’ll never hear her be annoyed at your puns either. You'll never get to complain about how disgusting she eats, you'll never get to do anything at all with her anymore! And how will the others feel once you tell them? You don’t know. Your eyes hurt a lot.

“Say something already” The faker says with a bored tone. “Don’t make this a bore~”

If only you knew this would happen, you wouldn't have raced her at all. you'd have walked calmly the whole way with her sharing dumb jokes the whole time. we'd have beaten this fucker and boast to Mystia about it before gettting free lampreys. You want that to have happened instead!

You don't want to lose Wriggle!

[ ] Say something (write in)
-[]“WHY are you doing this?”
-[] “You’re a sicko”
-[] “Something”
-[] Say nothing.


[ ] Use your own power!
-[] Create a darkness! (Range: Self, Specify. The whole area)
-[] Shoot a laser/Shot. (on who?)
-[] Use a Spell card! (on who?)
-[] Use your overly muscular Saw Hand! (on who?)


[ ] Go to!
-[] Towards the Faker!
-[] The air! Between the trees! (Some other manoeuvre)
-[] Away! Run away!

[ ] Use an item!
-[] The MOEFIRMANATOR! (on who?) That’s your arm now.
-[] The potions! (on who?) You threw all of them.
-[] The Witch! (KO?)

Are you lads speedrunning? cause you skipped the whole first phase there. Nicely done
-[x] Say nothing. Hunters do not speak to prey.

-[x] Use your power on the area! Jump toward and above the thing to avoid return fire.

-[x] Turn off power to fly directly at it with your awesome chainsaw arm!

This blitzkrieg serves two purposes. One is to use the element of surprise to skip approaching through danmaku (which it has access to). Two, and this is important, we need to stay on it to keep it away from Marisa, who hopefully will not be a dumbass and act like part of the scenery. It absorbing Marisa is its win condition, but it is currently cocky and thinking that it can take anything we throw at it. If we can sever the antler dolls in this rush, all the better.
File 163208149068.jpg - (205.12KB, 850x850, You're almost there.jpg) [iqdb]
…But this is reality, she won’t come back no matter how much you want it.

That thing took her, no even worse that thing is defiling her memory.

By using that form and those powers it is spitting on the bond the two of you had.

The history and image of Wriggle Nightbug is being shat on as long as it lives.

She won’t be at peace that way and neither will you.

So the least you can do is kill them...you have to do it!

You are not scared! you are not sad! you are as cool as ice, as stoic as a rock! ready to kick ass and chew gum and you want to lay down and die! NOT!

(Rumia cal-) Oh but you are calm! it’s like someone poured ice all over your head! You’ve never felt this focused! this dedicated on accomplishing something! It’s like the world lost its colours…

“Hey~ Hey~ stay on earth~” the faker waves at you impatiently while laying down on their side “Yaawwn…Are you going to do something or what? Those tears are lovely on your face but emote a bit more will ya? Give me RAGE~ Give me ANGER~ Curse my name and fight or run with everything you got before I beat you down and take everything from you anyway~” it does not see you as a threat.

You’ll make it regret that mistake. No words are to be wasted on prey.

Let Darkness rule! All light leaves the area

“Finally, you fucking fight!” you ignore the words and immediately rise upward to avoid the hail storm of bullets and lasers it shoots towards you, however your leg gets hit as you wanted to make sure that he won’t see you move beforehand.

It’s the price to pay for a surprise.

This darkness is absolute. No flicker of a flame and no shine of a bullet can shine within it

You soar swiftly and silently towards where you remember him being and charge at him from above!

Except not, you pause…you have to make sure their guard is off.

You have only one chance, only one opportunity to give in a fatal blow before it gets serious and obliterates you. It survived those explosions and you definitely do not have that kind of firepower.

No you need a plan B, and a plan C and a plan D and uh screw that!

No heat can be born in it, and not even those with dark vision can see through it

You gather your power in one hand and try not to exhale, some of the darkness becomes concentrated, bulkier and takes on the shape your will demands it to: A spell card.
And you throw it within the darkness, not activating it just yet but that’s plan B.

To exert such power on a large area…one so bright demands a lot of energy

But you won’t let get fatigue in the way! You prepare your arm, steady yourself…

And the rule of darkness ends!

You look at the insect, making sure there’s no counter waiting for you.

There is none.
Your prey looks excited, shooting everywhere but up as it looks for your position like one plays hide and seek. Threads and bugs surround it to protect it from a surprise attack.

Sadly that won’t protect it.

So you dive! Like death from above that fool won’t know what hit it until it is already dead.

Their head, their neck, their torso and feet. You rapidly approach it

You’ll be taking it all. You arm aimed straight at it’s neck, aiming for decapitation

in one smooth swing It’s now or never!

You’ll end it all! It glances up at the last second

“No you don’t!” shit, it noticed. and claws shoot out from it’s back straight for you

Your saw locks blades with it’s claws, a few inches away from it’s head. “Nice trick bu-!”

It doesn’t get to boast as your arm continues descending towards it, your momentum and strength too much to simply parry away as the claws shatter. IT’S RIP AND TEAR TIME!

You jam it in and penetrate as deep as possible!
You explore every corner vigorously and turn on the engine!
With a fanfare black blood bursts out of it's body and voila! everyone is satisfied!

The falling droplets fuel the flames nearby, and the fires are still spreading.
The trees are starting to fall down and you’re both now surrounded by fire.

This thing can’t escape now! it's you and it in a dance among flames! only one will live!

“….Pfeh” it chuckles for some reason, despite the fact that having a girl stabbing your back not really being the pinnacle of comedy “Didn’t even have to approach you myself pfahahaha” it laughs as if it saw the funniest thing alive. “You’re an idiot~”

“What?” you destroyed it’s heart, lungs and other organs. It should drop dead!

“You’re an idiot!” The faker’s head turns towards you with no effort….oh ooze “Thanks for the meal~” it becomes longer like a snake, slithers towards you and aims for your neck!

You try to stop it but you act little too late as it brushes your small arm aside, their teeth grasp your throat and clench your windpipe. Your chainsaw arm is stuck inside it’s body and black blood tightens around it to make you unable to pull out. “Mhkahkhhhj” it mumbles with a full mouth but you’re certain it’s trying to mock you or boast about its superiority.

You are so close to it you could literally head pat it but now isn't the time for that.

The feeling is disgusting, your hand feels like it’s being covered in cold mud, then your skin starts to hurt as if your entire arm was on fire. If not melting into acid. Organs can’t do that. “mkahkjahs”

It’s then that it finally hits you, the ooze is not blood or even part of it’s body. It IS the ooze. It’s entire body is the black ooze, all those appearances were nothing but hot air! “msakjkd”

Realized it a little too late to be honest, you’re being choked to death right now. For some reason it doesn’t hu-Oh wait no it’s not choking you. The head is pulling you closer to it’s body….OH SHIT.

It is going to absorb you! Your body is slowly but certainly being pulled into it. It is going to cover you in ooze and probably digest you from the inside or however those things do it! “mhkmgkm?”
You do your best to pull away but you feel that it’s stronger than you, if your right arm wasn’t so large and thick it would have taken the rest of you already. There’s little time to be wasted!

Suddenly it lets go of your throat “You’re not hearing what I say do you? Sorry my bad~” Wriggle’s face is staring right into yours as the rest of it’s body turns into a black blob. “I was being all dramatic but it’s no fun if you can’t hear it right? Speaking of which I want you know something before you die”
It doesn’t even bother being creative anymore, that face is entirely Wriggle with stumps on it.

…Wait why are those still on it? The whole time it has showed them in display as a bold sign of who it has taken and not once did you see it change. At every form their size was consistent. Is it unable to change them or is it an actual weakness? “I love you Rumia~”

...no, just NO! HELL NO!

“Naaah, not in that way silly. No need to glare! I meant more like I really owe you a lot. I want you to realize that I couldn’t have done any of this without you. So what’s your wish?”

“What are you talking about?” it stopped trying to absorb you, clearly absorbed by it’s sense for the dramatics as it’s about to do some grand monoblob. Now is the time to look for a way out! The spell card is just lying on the ground ready to be used. Your saw is deep inside of it and Marisa is gone.

Wait where did she go!? why is she still gone! did she wake up and abandon you?! THAT BIT- “LOOK at me when I talk to you!” your face is jerked towards it. “AS I said, If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have been able to grow this strong” it looks genuinely grateful.

It’s revolting to look at “….I don’t remember helping you” you amuse it to stall for time.

“Oooh, but you did! See I was following the both of you and planned to take you down first since you seemed the weakest! yknow end the whole adventure before it can even start type of thing~ But a better offer came! remember that little race you did with your pal? How your knocked her out and just flew off to crash somewhere? That was like a free meal to me”

“….So what?” you try to play indifferent. You won’t let it see how it affects you.

“Well, I figured that since you did a freebie to me. I should do one for you too~ Oh but I won’t let you go! Don’t even ask for that. But is there anything you’d like to know? Any way you’d like to die other than being melted alive? I assure you the latter is quite painful, it’s like burning and drowning at the same time if I had to describe it. It’s how I learned your name too!”

“That doesn’t mak-“

“She screamed your name the whole time, it was music to my ears”

No…it’s lying! “….Take that back”

“Take what back? The fact your friend died in intense pain because of you? The way she tried to be brave until the end but cried her heart out only after a few seconds? Or perhaps the fact this is all your fault? YOU did this Rumia! And you’re going to die with that regret in your heart!”

Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
You want it to SHUT UP!
Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
Alien feelings are OVERFLOWING within you!
Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
You want it to DISSAPEAR!
Liar! Liar! Liar!....Liar!... Liar!....liar!

Li-Your chest feels so tight, it's like your heart refuses to work.

It hurts so much, thinking becomes so hard...

Wriggle, you’re going to avenge her. You don’t care how or if you’ll live afterwards.

You put your hands on the Wriggle and Alice Doll before your final struggle.

They're the only things left of them

It does not deserve to have those.

Scratch that...

It does not deserve to live!

[ ] Push it into the flames with your last remaining strength. LET IT BURN!
[ ] All of your spellcards. Right now. Danmaku plosion from the inside. EAT THIS!
[ ] WHERE THE FUCK IS MARISA!? Oh that’s a big be- OH NOOO!
[ ] Write in (What's your big finisher/totally not a suicide attack?)

Author Note: Phoowie, that's an combat encounter almost done.
Still a rookie with those but I hope you're enjoying yourself.
If any of you got tips for those or criticism I'm all ears.

But for now enjoy your weekend and I will see you tommorow!

[x] We're settling for only one option? As if!

I like combat updates.This is a good scenario.
File 163215497254.jpg - (621.27KB, 1200x858, So___tired.jpg) [iqdb]
You’re going to do it.
No metaphor or descriptions of your surroundings.
No introspective bullshit.
That thing dies today.

You inhale deeply and get deeper into the monster, before it can respond your left arm grips the monster’s stumps (and dolls) firmly and you start pulling him towards you even more.

“What are you doing?” it doesn’t resist, confused by what it perceives to be self-harm “Don’t tell me you want to die already? Has your spirit broken? How bo-!” You open your mouth and bite!

You bite it’s face, rip off the dolls and throw them away from the area!

Biles of black blood enter your throat, the ooze burns your tongue, cheeks and even your teeth as it stays there not swallowed. The sensation makes you want to throw up but your fangs manage to actually dig into something solid. The same wood as the stumps! You bite harder!
The monster immediately returns fire by punching your stomach with its fist “LET GO!”, have bugs attack your eyes and trying to push you off “You pathetic bitch, let go of me!” but you won’t let go! YOU”LL NEVER LET GO! Its body becomes smaller once more as it concentrates energy.

Scorpion Sign: Bug Phalanx: drops of ooze float into the air and slowly transform into the insect dolls you’ve seen before. Except this time they’re all black, a dozen and smaller too boot. They all gain dark spears and immediately attempt to stab you repeatedly from every side You don’t move to stop it and gain shallow cuts and various light wounds as a response. After a few painful seconds, they all back off and strike simultaneously! and this is where you Death bomb!

Darkness Sign: Demarcation! : Waves of blue, red and green danmaku immediately emanate from your body as they hit the monster and dolls head on, killing the latter immediately but they do little but slow him down. YET afterwards a large blue bullet appears behind it and shoots a rafale of homing clusters straight at it’s back, forcing it to lose it’s balance and fall on you! The monster is now on top of you, crushing your stomach and ribs with it’s weight as it’s whatever no longer touches the ground, your energy leaks out of your body like water out of a broken cup BUT…BUT!

NOT YET! You won’t fall just yet! You activate the other spell card! Moon Sign: Moonlight Ray!: the two lasers converge into one and head straight towards the two of you! the knockback of it…

Throwing both of you into the flames! Your positions have been reversed. You are now on top and refuse to let it get up, the monster cries out in rage and responds with the rage of an dying animal as it tears off your skin by sheer contact, and tries to smash apart the little girl holding it onto the ground, desperate to escape the hot touch of the fires among you. No words can describe the pain you’re going through right now, but you’re not stopping. It’s too late to stop.
It’s time to end this! With your last remaining strength, you activate one last spell card. The last thing that will make sure that it will be unable to escape before the fires consume the both of you.

Darkness Sign: Dark Side Of The Moon: a circle of small red bullets and large yellow ones spread around the area, hitting the trees nearby and making them fall on the both of you. Their weight and sudden impact makes your back give a *Crack* sound, you’re leaking blood as well but cannot help the smile on your face. The fire has spread to the point that there is no escape…this is it

Both you and it are going to die, knowing that relieves you somehow.

Don’t misunderstand, you still want to live. After all you got friends who will miss you and have only one life to give…but this thing has to be stopped. You’d sooner die with it than live in a world where it can harm more of your friends!

You hope both Alice and Wriggle can be restored via the dolls or whatever, maybe by killing the impostor all those affected by it will be freed? Unless that’s only for werewolf’s and vampires.

Hell if you know, at least the witch made it. And you’re sure she’d pick up the two…no you’re not sure of that all. But one can’t help but hope in this kind of situation no?
Anyway isn’t this the kind of moment where your life flashes before your eyes? Cause you’re not seeing anything…hell you’re not feeling anything too! Did your pain sensors decide to go on strike on something? Lucky you~

But really, you guess it’s time for the last words. A shame no one but the bastard beside you will hear it…..wait it’s been speaking the whole time?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” you cannot tell what it is saying, but it is definitely shouting. The ooze monster has caught on fire and is slowly but certainly evaporating or whatever the term was, sue me you’re dying too.

“Is tha-“ You get picked up like a sack of potatoes, have your world turn upside down and eat dirt immediately afterwards.

The fuck? Did it manage to throw you off!? No it can’t be! If it survives now then you did all this for nothing! All of your efforts would have gone to waste! Please don’t get out! Don’t get out!
You try to get up but your body refuses to move, you can only see the dark sky up above as the urge to sleep becomes stronger as time passes on.

The ground shakes intensely for some reason, as if an earthquake just struck or some enormous power was released, your body instinctively shudders.

You failed didn't you?

Despite doing your best, it simply wasn't enough.

Cirno, Wriggle, Mystia, Daiyousei

I'm sorr-
File 163215538965.jpg - (305.11KB, 777x777, Im so done with this.jpg) [iqdb]
There is nothing but darkness once you wake up.

Every part of your body screams in pain immediately.

What a way to wake up, but at least you’re not dead?

Unless ghosts can feel pain? You’d think people would need special weapons for that but perhaps that’s not really the case…oh now that’s a book you’d read about.

Wait what was the situation again?

Ah yes, you’re dead.

Or not?

That’s a new mystery to solve!
Nevermind your eyes are closed, that’s just it.
You can’t see with your eyes closed, unless like your eye skin is transparent but that would mean you could never really close them and that’d be freaky.
You open them and close them immediately when light burns them.

You hate it when that happens, it’s why you always sleep under the shade or somewhere dark.

And this place isn’t dark at all! You immediately cover yourself in shadows and wait.
Okay you feel a bit less worse now.

Now it’s time to get up and get ready for adventure…

To be honest no, you’re done with that.

That was like the WORST adventure you’ve been in your whole life!

Screw hunting anons! From now on you’re going to enjoy your own peaceful life.

Like Wriggle would have wanted to! Let’s ha-
Ah, you almost forgot.

ANYWAY she was looking for Cirno right?

Let’s find her then!

Gotta respect her will and all~

You are a good pal after all~

Just not good enough to-NOPE, no bad thoughts!

You deserve to relax now! So let’s do that!

Operation: Retire after finding a Cirno is a go! Go! Go!

But where are you anyway?

[ ] Welcome to the realm of TRASH!
[ ] The sunflowers know your sins.
[ ] A Bun bun is staring into your soul.
[x] Welcome to the realm of TRASH!
A visit with the TRASH(wo)MAN seems only appropriate.

Kind of surprised that this wasn't a bad end into a forced flee.
File 163222621297.jpg - (29.71KB, 358x400, 25816528_0.jpg) [iqdb]
You realize that just standing around won’t really do anything.

So you tap the ground with your foot, It gives a thuck like sound.
Clearly made of wood then, at least you’re inside.

The air feels a bit dusty? Actually you could just open your eyes and look around instead, that way you’d actually know where you are.

So you do and remove the darknes-
The light burns your eyes again.

You create a shadow again.

What a dilemma we live in, where did your shades go? This is exactly why you had them! But you can’t look around for them now lest your eyes get burned, but you need to see so you can see the glasses that let you see things without getting burned but you can’t because aaaaaaargh!

You realize the light comes from a window, and close the curtains on it. My bad.

Done, now where are those shades?
You see boxes, loads of junk everywhere, not garbage kind of junk but the kind that’s a bunch of items that no one really uses other than a certain person. There’s a small mattress where you lied.

But no shades anywhere, you’ve only got the clothes on your body right now. There a bunch of bandages around you too. they feel tight and scratchy and wait these clothes aren’t yours…

Your amazing combo of dark and red has been replaced by casual wear garbage! Blue pants like an average joe! A white shirt with black stripes like an Oreo! And a CASUAL JACKET?!


Someone is going to need to answer stuff, but first let’s get out! You look around some more.

You think you’re in a closet/ item storage maybe? The room is quite small, like someone just propped the mat in here and stuffed your body inside like a sack of lumber.

This kind of place, that kind of attitude.

It can only be Trash Man! You’re in the Shop of Trash Man!

Okay his name isn’t Trash Man but it’s too long to actually remember nor do you care to.
Anyway you open the door…it is locked. Why would you lock the room in which a girl sleeps? Does he think you’re going to run off immediately or what? Even if that was the case no wall can stop you!
You take a few steps back, inhale deeply and CHAAAAAAARGE!

You slam your face against the wall and fall down. the only achievement being the loud BANG! the impact gave.

Okay the wall is stronger than you after all, but you’re tired and wounded so that’s not fair!

You lie on the ground a bit dazed and question your life choices.

But soon start to hear footsteps.

Someone is approaching the door! No it's not one but two people that are approaching!

Oh no, wait you meant oh yes! how dare they treat you this way! you'll show em who's boss!

Noone can lock up a youkai!

[ ] Prepare a surprise attack. He cannot stop the forced piggyback.
[ ] Give them the house wife greeting. Their regret will be delicious
[ ] Hide on the ceiling like a spider, and run the moment the door opens.
[ ] Another idea, you are a genius after all. You can achieve revenge.

[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Prepare a surprise attack. He cannot stop the forced piggyback.

Yes this is just cute. Of course I'll choose it.
File 163232027862.jpg - (76.23KB, 472x590, it tastes just like raisins.jpg) [iqdb]
The voices are getting closer!

You take a step back and wait for the door to open

The moment that bastard reveals himself shall be the moment you strike!

Like the mighty Fūri you’ll jump on him and turn him into your steed.

Then and only then will dominance have been established, it is the law of the jungle.

Sure a little girl on top of your head might not seem so threatening

But they’ll think otherwise once she pulls on your hair and chokes you with her legs.

As the amazing Moeru Toukon aka the burning fighting spirit that sets aflame all the stars in the skies and the will of man's hearts once said: toast is about to be toasted.

The door slowly opens, and two figures reveal themselv-NOW IS THE TIME!

You immediately leap at the tallest one! Take this! Hook and shoot!

Fear the night! Fear the Rumia!

You hit the mark dead on! Grab onto their shoulders and climb your way up like an itsy bitsy spider crawling their way up a wall. In a Perfect and fluid motion.

Dominance Established

“ ...What are you doing?” the unfortunate foe says with resignation. Their voice calm like uh a cup of coffee? With his grey hairs, indifferent attitude, and overall vibes he feels like an old wise cat.

“Huh, looks like you’re popular Kourin” someone who’s not your steed says with amusement.

But they’re not important right now, you have a job to do
“Good morning, Trash~” speaking of his hair you ruffle it, it’s always so smooth and fun to play with.

He sighs but doesn’t try to push you off which is good, he’s learning. “As I have said before, one cannot purchase me as a steed, food or both regardless of how much you insist on it” then he moves on to an average question “So how are you feeling?” which is a great conversation starter.

“I feel like a Rumia~” and overall, like a fail-fairylicouis. “How do YOU feel?” you ask out of politeness.

Trashman rubs his chin in thought and seriously considers the question “I feel like a Rinnosuke” and copies your answer while acting like it was his thing all along. You swear he sounds smug.

“Well, you’re a horse now!” you kick your legs at his shoulders softly “So giddy up and feel like one!” your voice brims with authority fit for she who rules over the night.

“I don’t want to, nor am I capable of obeying those statements if I ever wanted to do so” but it has no effect on him for some reason, how dare he not believe your words? How dare he doubt?

His lack of faith, you find disturbing.

Let’s resolve that “Nah, I’m sure you can become a magnificent steed if you put your mind to it!” you tap his shoulders “These broad shoulders, those fit legs and that soft mane show your potential”

“It’s not a question of potential” he dares correct you “It’s a question of want”

“Then do you want to become my horse?” you ask with the sweetest tone you can give. The type that makes the heart of men and girls alike flutter in an oooh you’re so cute way.

“No” he answers instantly. Unflinching like a tower. Immune to your natural charisma. Unbending.

That only makes you want it more “Pleaase? What if I say pretty, please with a cherry on top covered in a banana sundae?” you flip your position so you can give him the puppy eyes too
“No” he replies instantly again. The man has a heart of steel. His only love being…nothing? you're not sure if he has ever smiled in his life.

Wait scratch that thought, you're certain he did once or twice maybe? a person never smiling is like a person never eating. night impossible! but anyway you won't lose.

You try harder this time and concentrate your inner cuteness in your eyes. “Pleeaase? What if I say pretty, please with a banana on top covered in a cherry sundae?” this time he cannot refuse.

“No” and before you can try even harder, he interrupts with another “No, I will never be a horse. I am physically and mentally unable to become one and even if there was a service that led people turn into horses, I would not be interested in said offer. Being humanoid is just fine to me”

Hmmm, fine you’ll compromise “A human horse is fine too!”

“That’s no- “you won’t let him say no this time.

“So, what made you lock me up in your closet anyway? Were you going to sell my organs?”

He stays silent, and his tired look turns into a half glare “The way you say that implies you think I meant you harm, I won’t stand for that. Did I not bandage your wounds and offer you rest?”

Ah, you overdid it. “Sorry, I was just joking” you answer honestly.

“It wasn’t funny to me” oh darn he’s offended. “To think you believe me to be capable of that, clearly you do not hold respect towards me and my establishment”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it that way. You’re nice and easy to tease but I do re-uh reS-I don’t look down on you! You’re a cool nerd bird! Like a bland bird that owns a shop but is unique in how not special they are. You’re an awesome horse too! don’t ever think otherwise!” you contest back.

“Hmph, that doesn’t sound like a compliment to me” now he’s being cheeky.

“You’re cool dude! Like a canary on top covered in a baneberry sundae!” you insist.

“Are you hungry or is that just me?” he seems to have calmed down. “Also, you can stop. I believe it”

“How did you know?” you haven’t said anything of the sort.

Can the lad read minds now? Freaky.

“You always are” and then he stops moving. “Get off and wait here, breakfast is almost done”

Uh-oh, you didn’t even realize you were being transported.
You are now in what seems to be a guest room adjacent to the shop’s entrance. There is a little more space here with some chairs in the middle circling a small table. The surroundings got a closet with some books and newspapers, some posters about brands you’ve never seen before and two more doors that lead outside and to a kitchen.

Wait that makes this his living room, curse the laws of architecture. “Rumia get off” he repeats.

“Sure” you do and float towards one of the chairs. Before sitting on it NOT!

First off you land on the ground, take few steps away from the chair, turn around and then backflip into position.

The youkai of Twilight does not sit like a simple human. The fact you can fly and so
ignore any failed attempt anyway does not change this fact

Rinnosuke doesn’t care about your sick moves and moves to the kitchen without a word.

Party pooper.

“Glad to see you’re doing fine ze” you jump up immediately and look at the person. “Oh? Is there something wrong? You’re acting like you saw a ghost” the witch is seated in a chair facing yours, sitting all relaxed like someone who saw something fun. she's got some bandages too and her hat is gone.

When did she get here? How long was she here? Did she see all that?

She answers immediately, as if reading your mind “Never got here, I was not there the whole time and now I did not think that whole thing was adorable~” she dares grin. “Your face is way more expressive than I remember by the way. No wonder you never show it”

Hmm, so she really didn’t see you. Good, if there were rumours that the man-eating youkai acted friendly to even half a human then your reputation would be ruined. It’d be total humiliation.

“Nah, got no reason to not not tell everyone about that. Unless…you plan to buy my silence ze?”

Wait so she DOES know about it? In that case you’d have to eliminate her. No one must know!

“Hey, relax~ you almost died so this isn’t the moment to fight yknow? Have some food and afterwards we can have the big talk” you’re starting to get annoyed “What you gonna do about it ze?”

You cover yourself in darkness once more, being read like a book is just disturbing.

“Party pooper” the witch shrugs and you think she’s drinking something. Tea? Coffee? Dunno.

Anyway, you got a moment of just nothing special to do, the kind that lasts 5 minutes but feels like hours depending on how bored you are. What should you do while waiting?

[ ] Talk to Marisa? (About what?)
[ ] Go harasshelp Rinnosuke?
[ ] Read today’s Bunbunmaru.
[ ] Loot Look at the Outsider wares.

[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Read today’s Bunbunmaru.
Have our escapades been recorded? Is the anon invasion taking dominance? Will we ever find Cirno? Aya tell us!
File 163240239257.png - (42.94KB, 185x529, THe most TRUE NEWS.png) [iqdb]
You get up from your seat, pick up the newspaper, go back to sitting and read it.

Season 123, Shichi-Gatsu issue 1 (est. 07/7/2017)
Chainsaw Massacre in the Forest? Mechanical lifeforms roaming the Mountains?
Someone stole the hakurei maiden’s panties? This must be a Moriya Shrine Conspiracy!

People arriving while causing an incident is no strange ritual to our little land, whether it’s vampires trying to blot out the sun or the new goddess announcing herself last week something always happens.

But never have I your honest and humble reporter seen several happen at the same day around the same time and from which the culprits come from the same source: our new outsiders.

If you have read last week’s newspaper (1) then you should know the Moriya Shrine was gone for a few days only to return as if nothing happened.

The goddess of the Moriya Shrine Yasaka Kanako has made an alliance with the wise Tengu leaders to become the proper god of the mountain as she would enrichen the lives of the mountainfolk with her miracles and knowledge off outsider science only to suddenly go out on a vacation without telling anyone! This honest reporter theorizes that the trio went to the outside world to relax. How irresponsible.

To elaborate on how bad this is: they stood up Lord Tenma! That’s an insult to all Tengu!

Nevertheless, stuff happened afterwards:
There have been hearsay and sightings of strange creatures roaming around the land recently, machine like beast’s superior to kappa technology fighting each other, humans with silly costumes shooting out fireballs and jumping on people to crush them, even the average normal outsider has begun to act radically different compared to their predecessors. What were once valuable additions to the human village have now become a horde of man children that the village guardian (2) must oversee. But the outsiders aren’t only humans! varouis other creatures have seemed to be sighted, like a pile of sentient hamsters. some half girl half horse people, and actual doppellgangers. The outsiders are many!

Frankly a lot of things are happening, and they are happening fast. The outsiders are coming in fast but have yet to envelop anything more than the mountain and the village…though by the end of today there may be as many of them as there are fairies. Whether that’s good or bad is to see.

And all of this has happened within less than a day once the shrine returned. Coincidence? I think not! Clearly whatever measure they used to exit Gensokyo and come back must have attracted these people or perhaps this is a new plan the goddess has in store for us? Regardless the Moriya shrine is clearly responsible for this incident! (3) More info to come on that next issue!

Now out of subject but still related to it: the Forest of Magic almost burned down! Intense explosions and roaring flames were sighted alongside rumours of a chainsaw wielding maniac (4). After the fires, resident puppeteer Alice Margatroid alongside some other minor youkais were nowhere to be seen, the only evidence left behind being some black blood in both magician’s domains and the hearsay of some fairy witnesses.

Speaking off witness, XXXX(5) one of the few who got an actual look has this to say: “I saw it all! Some scary youkai was holding the dead body of Marisa while swinging their sharp machine at Alice’s dolls! But Alice was big and scary too but then the youkai set her on fire and laughed the whole time, so I got scared and ran away! I only saw her back and the fact she wore a ribbon”

There you have it folks, if you ever see someone who has a chainsaw and a red ribbon then she might be out to cut you into pieces! I advise all to avoid the forest while the resolvers investigate.

Now let’s end this with some good news: the Bunbunmaru has got themselves a sponsor! The Scarlet Mistress Remilia scarlet would like to inform all outsiders that she’s willing to hire all those whose fate she deems interesting, I’m not sure what that means but employment is sought at the Scarlet Devil Mansion! so if you want to work for a cute bloodsucking little girl then go for it!

(1): One can purchase the previous edition at following locations: base of Youkai Mountain, the Hakurei Shrine, Kourindou and the Myouren Temple. If you wish to pay for a subscription do note it to a fellow tengu and you shall the special edition for an low monthly fee.

(2): That would be Keine Kamishawara the sad girl isn’t even paid for taking care of outsiders.

(3): It must be either one of them or one of the many other gods or the gap of boundaries herself. So far, the former is the most suspicious. They haven’t made an official statement on this either.

(4): A chainsaw is a portable gasoline-, electric-, or battery-powered saw that cuts with a set of teeth attached to a rotating chain driven along a guide bar. It is used in media for the express purpose to slaughter and maim those the user dislikes. It is a legendary tool of murder that is to be feared.

(5): The witness’s name and appearance have been censored for their own safety.

Editor: Aya Shameimaru

Writer: Aya Shameimaru

Investigator: Aya Shameimaru

It's all Aya quality!

About the Bunbunmaru: Since 2007 the Bunbunmaru has been the trusted brand to give the people of our country the energy to explore, discuss, think and life live to the fullest. From sunrise to sunset, city to surf, next door to the great outdoors, heavens to the underground…
what you can experience by reading this paper is only limited by your imagination. Rip open a bun and keep the truthful times coming, morning, noon and night. #Alwaystrue

“Are you actually reading that third tier rag?” Marisa questions the obvious “That’s just a bunch of half-truths, theories and rumours the crow wants to spread. Take it with a grain of salt”

“Uhuh” you give her a noncommittal answer, she’s still food despite all this so you don’t care much.

“Don’tcha uhuh me, I saved your life yknow?” she takes another sip and continues “So shouldn’t you be thanking me? Actually that means I means I own you now! Since you owe me your life ze~”

You’re not sure how she goes from sounding sad to sounding happy so quickly. Mood swing much?

Rinnosuke seems to be taking some time now, but you can smell the allure of meat being cooked so this breakfast is about to be delicious! Hmmm what is he making you wonder.

Anyway you still have some time left, so now what?

[ ] Talk to Marisa? (About what?)
[ ] Is Rinnosuke done?
[ ] Read today’s Bunbunmaru. Done diddly done.
[ ] Loot Look at the Outsider wares.

[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Talk to Marisa about what happened.

Plot button. Wonder where the other readers went. This is pretty gud.
[x] Loot look at the outsider wares
Dew it before Marisa "borrow"all those stuff
File 163251859951.png - (541.01KB, 662x377, MARISAA.png) [iqdb]
A few more minutes pass in silence as you read the newspaper, the news doesn’t really worry you since you’ve decided to no longer concern yourself with all that anon nonsense, the news of there being some maniac in the forest does makes you mentally note to be careful if you go there. you’d hate to end up mistaken for them just after all.

You didn’t murder Marisa after all and she's not dead either so the truth is obvious.

To think you'd have a copycat so soon...shameful!

Anyway, right now, the vibes are good. The vibes are chill. This is nice~

To be honest, just doing nothing and reading a newspaper has a weird feeling to it, as in it’s such a not youkai thing to do. Why read something and drink coffee like you’re the man of the house (Which is you of course since you’re the BOSS duh) when you can instead scare some humans with your friends? That’s not to say you dislike reading something while Housewife-man cooks.

Still fun times are fun: like that one time where a human jumped off a cliff to avoid you or the other time where Mysti’s singing made a whole group of hunters fight each other to the death! Or like the time when Wri-…. Wriggle.

Not feeling like sitting any longer, you move out of the living room and into the shop part of well the shop. Memories of before reminding you of the stuff you lost.

You lost a good friend; someone you knew for a long time alongside your own fricking arm being so heavy and unwieldy now. Like whom can live with a limb like that? Oh, Alice is gone too you guess

The good vibes are gone now, darn it this really isn’t going to leave your mind anytime soon huh?

“Hey, what’s wro- “Needing a new distraction, you get up and move out of the room.

You’re a big girl and don’t have time for being sad. Only little girls are sad and you’re a youkai! Now let’s go see what kind of toys Trash man has that you can pla-INVESTIGATE!

The shop area looks a bit meh, there is a counter. Some tables with odd wares and ends and overall, the place is cluttered with stuff you don’t know.

You think there is some outside too so yo-THE LIGHT!

You put a shadow around yourself again and sit on one knee, this time you made the grand mistake of going outside shadowless and behold the sun struck! The absolute sucker got you right in the eyes and now you can’t see anything!


“Oof, should have worn sunscreen my dude” you hear Marisa say with some pity behind that insufferable cheeriness. And soon after you feel a hand on your shoulder. “You REALLY are in bad shape after all~” then she dares take look down on you, a youkai being mocked and pitied by a human….” take better care of yourself will ya. No one will be happy if you force you- “and that’s when your patience snaps.

You push away her arm and put as much distance as you can from her.

What is wrong with you? ” you say with the most venomous tone you can muster at her “Your house burned down! Your friend is dead! And here you are acting so happy like it’s but an afterthought! Do you expect me to just move on like nothing happened? Are you sympathizing with me? Well guess what!? I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY!!” the way she acted so casual was unnerving to you, does she not care at all or what?

“….” She doesn’t give back an immediate response, but her footsteps are getting closer. “Tha- “

“You don’t even look remotely sad! Do you not care at all? Are humans dead inside now!?” you continue the accusations, the insults and curses just pouring out as you declare the witch your scapegoat. It feels so refreshing to be honest, to be able to put all the blame on just one person.

Yeah, it's her fault for having a house at the exact spot you crashed! it's her fault for not waking up when you wanted her to! and it's her fault for holding devices off mass destruction on her person! it is all her fault!!

That feeling is swiftly replaced with pain coming from your cheek followed by another to your stomach as the witch grabs you by the hem of your shirt. “ Shut up ” her voice becomes stone cold, no cheer, no jest only anger behind it “I-I OF COURSE I care about what happened! How dare you say otherwise you dramatic bitch!” she slaps you again wounded by the words, anger emanating from her.

If only you could see actually see her face, you’d be certain both of you were glaring at each other.

She doesn’t stop there and continues speaking “How about we imagine my point of view: I was having a great time studying some objects I managed to borrow from some outsiders only to out of nowhere get my stuffing knocked out by some little girl (which I suspect to be YOU). And then when I wake up not only is my house freaking gone…but there you are fire hugging the hell out of some freak! Naturally I did the best of what I could, threw you off it as I sparked the ugly thing into atoms. Carried your ass back to Kourindou. Made sure you’d get the proper treatments just so you won’t drop dead. And what do I get as my reward? The news that a friend of mine is somehow dead, the fact all my research is gone and now you’re blaming ME for all this?! That better be jest ze” killing intent is outright dripping behind those words.

You look down, the intensity behind her glare is unbearable and the fact everything she says makes sense only lowers any chance of rebuttal you had in you. “I-I’m sorry!” sadness overcomes you. "I'm never going to see Wriggle again! and I hate it! I hate it so much! I want everything to be fun and simple again..." and out the eye canal it goes.

“H-hey don’t cry! Cause if you do that now then even I…dammit!” she drops you and starts shouting to pump herself up “No! just no ze! I REJECT THE DRAMA ZE! I’m not letting this get in my-COLD!”

What does she- “COLD!” You get splashed by cold water out of nowhere.

You remove the shadow to see the source: It’s Rinnosuke holding a strange device.

“No staining the floor with salt” he says with annoyance as shoots his device at us again. “Make up or go cry elsewhere” The man really does not give a carp, he’s colder than the water!
“But she started it!” both of us say only to get splashed again. “FREEZING!”

I don’t care who started, now each of you apologize” he says with some odd authority.

As if you’d He points the device at you “Okay I’m sorry! Accusing you was mean and ungrateful! Thank you for saving me witch!” you say as quickly as possible.

Marisa replies just as fast “Yeah! Sorry for uh…I did nothing wro- Rinnosuke aims sorry for uh teasing you at a bad time?” she looks at our tyrant and continues “Let’s work together to like get our pals back ze!” she tends out a hand for shaking.

You are forced to by Rinnosuke to shake it. “Wriggle! Dollfreak! we're coming for you!” Not thinking of her as food is going to be hard though...

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Marisa is now using following you!

That wasn't sarcasm, you're totally doing this willingly. totally

“It’s like I’m tending to children” Coldman sighs and pauses as if jolted “Sniff. Is that smoke?” then realization kicks in and he hurries back to the kitchen. “Be right back, no more nonsense or else you’ll be eating burned food”.

“…. He’s really acting like a housewife huh” you mumble as you get up.

“Kourin’s always been that way, if only he was born a girl, then he’d be married and have 3 or 5 kids by now bet…” Marisa agrees solemnly and looks at the ceiling wistfully

“Darn, I want to live in that kind of world. Rin-chan wearing an apron and all…” you do the same.

Rin-chan would be the ultimate housewife, not only does she know what each item can do she’d uuh you’re not a writer or anything so Rin-chan will only exist inside both of your hearts sadly.

“Pff, Rin-chan~ what would he call the babies?” doesn’t stop Marisa from talking about it.

“Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner” you eagerly reply.

“Those aren’t good names though?” she raises an eyebrow.

“They’d be special nicknames!” and you return to your mighty position of the Cross.

“Uhuh, what of the real names though?”

“Rinnosuke Junior, Rinnosuke Junior Junior and Watanabe”

“You’re just making this up!”

“NO MANZAI EITHER!” Rin-chan shouts from the kitchen, and this time it smells bad. Did his food catch on fire or something? Honestly it should be done a while ago by now.

He’s still a party pooper though, but an understanding among girls has been established.

Make him wear an apron one day, maybe after this not adventure.

Rin-chan will become reality lest you die!

Wait a minute...are you suffering from mood switches now too?

Don't tell me your brain has been affected by human logic.

Oh god did they infect you?! are you no longer going to be an awesome wild youkai?
Ruler over the darkness and fear incarnate turned soft, dumb and weak?! You don't want a redemption arc!

You realize you are wasting time, despite the fact that wasting it is a bit fun too.

But honestly, that’s enough talk. All plans need good planning too!

So, what’s the big plan? Where will you be heading next after this meal?

[ ] Back to the Forest of Magic (there is evidence to be retrieved. Like the two dolls)
[ ] Misty Lake/SDM (you know Dai is in there. lots of anons will go there too though.)
[ ] Bamboo Forest/Eientei (you have a freaky arm that needs fixing. Mystia sells Lamprey nearby too)

[ ] The mountain, some tengu has awfully good info/slander. Can be done later, the others are closer.
[ ] The sunflower fields No reason to go to now, even if Yuuka is a friend of Wriggle

As for Right Now

[ ] Make sure Kourindou won’t have a kitchen fire.
[ ] You didn’t have the chance to look at them wares, do so now.
[ ] Talk to Marisa Done diddly done. (Doesn't mean it can't be done again)
[ ] ...On second thought. what's stopping you from ditching these losers? go now!

[ ] Genuflect.

About companions: You're free to invite anyone over to Team 9/other name or disinvite(kick).
Though whether they'll accept the offer or stay gone or decide to come back once kicked out depends on circumstances.

Also had half a mind to just force you back to the forest but that could be railroady.
So you can choose on 3 locations right now, stuff will happen whenever you finish one.
Clarification: You're not going to be stuck in one location.

You can just go to the following 3 locations alongside Kourindou whenever you want right now.

You don't have to like 100% a place of all Anons or something.

Feel free to do what you think is best.
[x] Back to the Forest of Magic (there is evidence to be retrieved. Like the two dolls)
I think it best to be a bit railroady to make sure the damn creature is dead. We can construct the rest of team 9 afterward.

[x] You didn’t have the chance to steal look at them wares, do so now.
File 16325896157.jpg - (126.77KB, 850x784, The art of looting.jpg) [iqdb]
You discuss a plan of action with the witch and conclude, that the first thing to do is to return to the crime scene. There lies unanswered questions and unfinished business.

So you'll head there after the food.

And you don’t do things half baked, you do them FULL baked. If you’re hungry you leave no bones behind and if you feel like sleeping, then several hours will pass in the blink of an eye!

That is the way of the Dark stalker.

Not that you stalk people, actually you do.

But only for hunting purposes.

But first it’s loot Observation time. You ask the witch to show you stuff off interest that you might want to borrow since you never know what could be useful. “Do you have time? for loot time?”

She gains a shit eating grin and gladly obliges. “Hell yes~”

Various number of items are immediately shown to you by Marisa:
Like a mini representation of the earth itself (for some reason it’s round).
Some object that’s supposed to come back when you throw it (it did not).
A body sized pillow of a person you don’t know.

Some white mask with holes in it (Which did get some of your interest since in the dark it can come off as spooky).

A box filled with dee vee deees? (They need something called a player and Rinnosuke only uses it on special occasions, she recommends the one named Jurassic World with an overkill of excitement. But you think she’s lying since there’s no way someone can put like an entire world inside a small box that we can all look at for our own amusement).

Finally, some weapons like swords, axes, sword chucks and guns. (None of which appeal to you since they don't taste good. The gun went off in your mouth and all it was give a nasty taste).
A big black pot next to some other pots that are meant for uh recreational smoking and weird balloons that all give the same shape when you blow in them (perpendicular like a plastic bottle).

And finally a tee vee (Another so called watching device or so she says pff), ending it all with a washing machine that doesn’t work at all unless you got like a constant source of thunder? (Just use the river)

Sadly, there’s absolutely no food amongst the piles. really you've tried your best to find a snack.

All in all it just gives you the impression that most of these things don't work unless you've got the exact right thing for them or fit in the niche of people they are designed for. Useless to most youkais in short.

Oh, some of the items were talking like the chainsaw did but you ignored them since you know better now, no way you’ll trust the words of some talking sword or chair.
But other than that, there’s really no limit to what the dude doesn’t have. So if you want something, just write it in a write in and you’ll get it if it isn’t too unreasonable

After some time you get tired it and excuse yourself. Marisa has explained everything she saw to the best of her ability but most of what she said rose more questions or made no sense at all.
You’d nap but the light is simply too annoying to look at, and the moment you lose your concentration you’d get a nice serving of it when you rise awake. Also, food is coming.

Anyway, the former should be solved first. Like right now.

“Marisa” you lean against a wall like the stone cold mean bean machine you are and call out to her, the sun still disturbs you. “Turn the sun off” it must be eliminated

“Just a sec~” The witch gives a wave of the hand as she browses through the wares of the shop, occasionally putting stuff in her pockets that should not be able to fit. “Ok, you were saying?”

“The sun, turn it off” you repeat again, just have her spark it. It's that easy right?

“Sure, no problem” Marisa doesn’t skip a beat with her casual answer. She turns around and faces you with a thoughtful look and a new hat on as she rubs her chin “So what’s the particle light value of it? And how long do you want it out? If it’s off too long, then it might never turn on again”

"Uh what? just spark it! like shoot a big laser at it to turn it off!" you command your companion.

She looks at you incredouisly once she sees you're serious "That's...impossible"

"Why? who decided that?"

"Because it's too far away"

"Why? It's in the sky right now, like just shoot at it and the problem will be gone"

"Because not going to work kid, look the sun is simply way further than any spell I could throw at it. and even if I did shoot at it it wouldn't be affected in the least"

"Why? Are you saying the sun is stronger than you?"

"NO! I mean kind off? even if you manage to blow it up we'd all die anyway since like the sun gives heat and light and without it we'd all live in never ending darkness and stuff ze"

"But that sounds like heaven!"

"Just give it up, it's not possible and that's final"

You pause and put your hands up the air as sign of defeat. “Fine, but what else am I supposed to do? I can't thrive in daylight like this! the sun burns my eyes!” you complain out loud.

“Mm, have you tried using sunglasses? Or maybe a helmet?” Marisa asks as she moves to another aisle of junk to look slash steal from. “I think there are some here, come take a looksie ze”
That sounds like it makes sense, so you approach the spot she was browsing at.

The witch was chilling at a corner of the shop next to the entrance, there were a few barrels of weapons, alcohol and other commodities lying in a cosy assembly. On a table nearby were a bunch of potions like objects and tools for measurements you were unable to identify. Two treasure chests lie right underneath it containing maps and drawings of places unknown. “Over there!” ah there lies a bunch of glasses organized within a drawer, square ones, circled ones, blue ones, red ones, they come in different sizes and colours.
Marisa tends you one that is orange like the evening sun. “How about these? Try them on” and is barely stopping herself from just shoving them in your hands. She sure seems excited.
You put them on and look at some mirror hanging from the door “They’re…” the colour orange would go well with your design of red and black, if you had your own clothes on. “Okay?”
Okay isn’t enough for the witch if that’s why she’s frowning “Hm, true it lacks a certain…”

“Punch, it’s not good or bad but it’s not above average” you finish the sentence for her.

She nods and looks at you with appraising eyes. “If it isn’t flashy, it isn’t fashion. You have to look your best after all” then puts on another pair, and then another.

For a while you just stand there while she tries different glasses on you, every time you move, she protests in response so eventually you just sit still and wait it out “Why are you taking so loooong? It’s just some dumb glasses, just give me whatever!”

Once again, Marisa firmly refuses to let you go “No, you have to look your best. Besides they wouldn’t fit with the clothes you’re wearing right now” they’re just dumb clothes!

“Just give me my dumb clothes back, I don’t care about wat fas-something you’re talking about. Just give me something to protect against the cold and the sun and I’ll be fine!” You start to get immensely bored of this and if something isn’t fun then why do it? There’s only one way out.

You snatch the orange ones and put them on, done didly doodly DONE. And start to remove your own clothes. They’re not your style so you go around and look for bette- “HEY!” what now.

Marisa is looking at you with embarrassment and outrage “What are you doing?!”

“What do you mean?” you half listen to her as you take out some rags you can find and start cutting with your nails, this might take a while.
“You can’t just undress like that! What if someone walks in!?” she makes no sense whatsoever.
“It’s a shop, if people walk in, they’re going to buy stuff?” and you found a white string too. “That’s the basics of trade and bartering”
That doesn’t appease her “No, not that! People will see you NAKED ze! Aren’t you embarrassed?”

You shrug and continue your project. “Not really, if a dog saw you bathe would you feel embarrassed? If an ant sees you piss? Would you be ashamed? That’s how I see it”

What do you have to fear anyway? You lived most of your life in the forest anyway so there’s no way you would know if someone was observing unless you like build walls all around you. So, there’s no point in caring in how others perceive you. Humans are so fussy.
“I’m still embarrassed though…” Marisa is strongly staring at her own feet. And Kourindou will get a bad rep if a little girls walk in the nude here, is that how you’ll repay your host? Do you want him to be on the headline for that Tengu’s paper?” Marisa contests with a hurried tone.

Fine, if it is THAT big of a deal then you simply surround yourself in darkness once more and walk out of the shop, back to the one spot where the mirror is.
Soon after you come out, covered in a black made-up dress, some red fabric to act as a false tie and you’re back to your original design. Some orange sunglasses and you’re back in the game.
You admire yourself a bit and make sure that there are no holes or faults anywhere, you’ve never been for vanity, but you can’t help but smile once your splendour is back. Truly the da-what!
The mirror has a crack in it now, for a split second you saw something looming behind you too, but the image was too vague and gone the moment you sensed it. The colour green does come to mind.
Eh, it was probably nothing. And even if it was it could just be a fairy pulling a prank. Those cheeky little minxes should know better than to mess with you though. Guess you’ll have to beat up some later to jock it back in their memories.
Anyway, time to go back in the sho- the sound of metal breaking, and the sweet aroma of blood enter your senses. The source of it isn’t far away and you haven’t eaten in a while

Ooooh boy! Oh boy! Finally, some good news! You’re not sure if it’s human blood yet but you’re certain the other two were unable to detect it. They don’t have the same senses as you.

Though leaving for a quick snack may be bad form, it doesn’t matter if you’ll come back later, right? And if it’s an Anon then what they don’t know can’t hurt em! Cause no offense but Marisa and Rin-chan seem totally like the type that are not into watching you eat humans in front of em.

You peek out of a window and see Marisa is trying to set something up, like she's carrying a tee vee and trying to take stuff to the living room for some reason.

Actually wait, should you really leave? What if they notice your absence and go look for you? Besides some other youkai might be hunting it already unless it really is one of those golden moments.
Instead of eating some burned food or some second-rate rations from a second hand store you’ll get the real, succulent taste of an human. You can already imagine how it would play out:

A human having broken their weapon, steed or what have you is bleeding on the ground but valiantly refuses to die from their injuries somehow ends up in Gensokyo.

Before they can make sense of their situation you meet with them ready to lunge once their guard is down.

Noticing that something is approaching them they’ll naturally ooze out fear and regret towards the actions that have led them to this moment only feel short-lived joy and relief in knowing a cute girl approached them instead of a monster…. but then the real despair co-ooooooh~ it’s making your mouth water!

No one will care right? No one will notice right? It’ll be a quick snack!

Unless it’s a youkai that needs help but that’s super boring and a let-down. Please be food!
Shall you sneak like a shadow, or await the food with the others?

[ ] Stay in Kourindou
[ ] Sneak off for a short sec.
[ ] Inform the two of it.

[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Inform the two of it.
Just get in that pre-meal workout.

Also, [x] Snag the boomerang.
If anyone could figure out a boomerang, it's our kunai loving fairy friend Dai.
[x] Sneak off for a short sec
[x] If they ask where you go, silence is an option

Dew it quick
File 163269021436.jpg - (283.41KB, 850x836, Tie Breaker Dojo.jpg) [iqdb]
I am NOT enjoying these, no sir


Suddenly, you can see a kaleidoscope of colours and a childlike wonder overcomes you.

The world is so joyous, so magical~ how did you not notice up til now?

You vow to enjoy life to the fullest henceforth as a rainbow shines in the horizons.

Life is good.

For all but five seconds after which an very muscular housewife dropkicks you straight in the noggins!

Your ass flies to the skies beyond as you become a twinkle in the sky.

This all happened cause you stole candy from a girl 300 choices back.

Sudden bad end. get rekt scrubs.

But really enough poor jokes, now isn't the time for that.

Ladies and smaller ladies!

It is time for the one thing you've all been waiting for!

The Tiebreaker Dojo!


Starring your favorite host: No one! wait hold on a moment.

Oh looks like noone's available after all, a shame but it can't be helped.

That was the Th- ?HOLD ON A MOMENT!?

Oh the Meatball God made it at time after all. we'll leave the hosting to it this time.

?Okay, I can do this no problem. I'm no stranger to addressing crowds even if my speech skills have grown rusty so keep that in mind and...stay tubular!?

Good luck, and see you tommorow.

?Wait we're already on? ah I mean uh AHEM Yo, surf's up! it's a me the Meatball God here my dudes and dudettes.

Here to give you insight on your choices to give you the chance to break whatever tie there is. totally tubular don'tcha think?.

Anyway let's see here: So you can choose to go off on your own for a quick snack (assuming the target is an anon or human, which would be smart in that case since otherwise the other two would food block you from consuming them).

But on the other hand do you really want to go off on your own right now? taking the first step in trusting others paves a road towards strong bonds, which is really an cliché thing to say.

But actually yknow what? bonds can also tie you down, the morals of others can lead to some options opening but others being outright disabled since people all different values like that. man the mortal life is a pain to be in...

Actually nah I'm not doing this! the choices are very clear cut and overanalysing stuff will only head to hesitation which itself will bring fear and that will lead to stagnation!

Just take whatever choice you enjoy the most, follow your guts and carve your own path through life! don't let words of advice or warnings from others limit your options.

Do whatever you consider best and stay true to your own values.

Eat when you want to eat, sleep when you want to sleep and be nice when you feel like being nice. Enjoy life your own way and don't set your standards too high.

Speaking of which I'm not going to try talking modern anymore, it just doesn't suit me.

Heh, if I did not heed the words I give you then who would trust a hypocrite?

Also someone called it cringe but no dictionary tells me what it means.

Better safe than sorry.

Either way, good luck in your journey!?

That concludes the Tie Breaker Dojo!

Good end of the weekend, and I'l just roll a die tomorrow if it's still a tie by then.
[x] Inform the two of it.
File 163276645737.jpg - (127.50KB, 850x674, This really is going to be one of those days huh.jpg) [iqdb]
You decide to hold yourself back for once

Just running off for a quick meal doesn't give out the image of someone who's that reliable

After all, there may be still anons slash Fanons running about!

Why is it called anon anyway? just say outsider.

Anon sounds so odd to say, like you’d swear it’s an acronym of some secret group or organization and stuff but it also has a whimsical tone to the tongue. Does any of that make sense?

But back to the subject: You need to show you can uh trust your allies! since the role of the boss is to make sure their subjects use the maximum of their potential!

But before you can start with them you need to show the right example! by starting with yourself!

You'll show them all how the Youkai of Twilight rules!!

Navel-gazing done, you walk back into the shop and into the living room.
"Hey Witch! there's someone leaking their yummy juice out there" you say helpfully.

The Witch herself is still busy with...you're not sure what she's doing. She's putting some boxes and cables on top of each while aligning some chairs close by.
You wait a bit and soon she gets up, clasps her hands, and looks at her creation in satisfaction. "All done ze~" and she fiddles some more.

Wait did she just ignore you? well fine you'll just tell Rin-chan about it first.

You walk into the kitchen like the king you are.

"Yooooo, Rinnosuke-man~ there's like a OH GOD!" your nose is assaulted by a stench worse than a dead dog who had a full stomach,
the kind of stench that even a zombie would sneer at! "What are you making and who did you murder for it?"

Rinnosuke holds an elegant looking sword in the air with both hands, like a semi samurai. he is also semi naked.

Or a kid playing pretend warrior "What's the matter?" he raises an eyebrow at you "Don't you know it's rude to interrupt a man in the middle of cooking?"

"Is that so?" is the only noise that comes out of you, dude is jacked even though you swear you never saw him lift in his life.

He lowers the blade and continues with an irritated tone "If it's not important then leave me be, this is an important step in the ritual I'm doing"

"Is that so" again you repeat like a parrot and pinch your nose lest you start to vomit.

Rinnosuke sighs like YOU are the one acting unreasonable, then points at the cutting table in front of him. "Fine, I'll explain"

"See this meat?" On it lies a piece of meat of a soggy paper white colour, from it emanates the stench of death. "This is the meat of the legendary fugu, also known as the balloon fish or fish of thousand shapes.
It comes originally from the Takifugu fish that is known to reside in the Indo-Pacific region. It is a dish that's considered a delicacy in the outside world, but it requires a special way to properly treat it"

"Nan-OK" You shake off the confusion but still don't get it. "Why are you half naked and holding a sword then?"

He pushes up his glasses "All part of the ritual"

"To do what? it's just food. what will it do if you just eat it?"

"It would kill you Rumia, the Fugu holds a powerful essence within itself that has the power to kill anyone who consumes it. In a most ironic twist, their meat is delicious in exchange.
Thus, making it the most enjoyable last meal a person could have"

"So, you're going to feed me poison?" you frown "In that case I'll just eat you~" and you start to appro-He motions you to stop with one hand.

"Let me continue: The meat is a delicious poison unless the proper ritual has been established, first one must cut off certain parts and offer them to the gods above with a sacred sword such as the one I'm holding: Kusanagi (Grass Cutting Sword). Secondly one must use a proper mead to wash away any of the possible filths and residue the creature might have and finally one must pay respect to it"

"So, what exactly does that mean? how did you mess up the meat! just say it"

"I see you're agitated but don't worry. I'll speak slowly so you can understand: First...I got the meat" He starts speaking a tad louder and slower.

Captain Obvious right here "And what did you do with the meat?"

"What any normal person would do" now he looks proud of himself "Cook it raw, of course"

"But you said there was poison in it!"

"Shush, then I added red wine to it" he shows the red bottle nearby and you notice the meat is covered by it.

"Hold on a moment..." that's the wrong order also why red wine?

"Then I crushed the meat into tiny, tiny pieces using the sword" he hits the meat with the flat side of the blade.

"That's now how you use a sword!"

"Afterwards..." He pauses for dramatic effect and looks away from you "I used my [Secret Technique]"

"A-and that is?"

"I added more red wine"

"You're making me feel ill with words" you're starting to lose hope.

"Then I cut some of the meat apart, cooked it with olive oil and put it on a plate"

"Mm, that does sound good" your hope goes up a bit. maybe it's not so bad.

"Then I added more red wine"

"Oh my god..." you kneel and feel sick.

"Mmm~" He hums in some mild joy "Red wine is my favourite wine and it also prevents poisons coming from food~
And that Rumia, is how you make a proper meal" he tends the meat towards you "Now eat it"

HELL NO, you have half a mind to just ditch him right there. you're not suicidal!

A 5-year-old can cook better than this man! but enough!

"Shut up and come with me" you grab him by the arm and MAKE him tag along.

Rinnosuke gives some token resistance as you leave the kitchen, but your iron grip and strength are superior to his, you squeeze every time he tries to shut him up.

As you pass through the living room, Marisa notices and greets you both "Hiya, what are you two doing ze?" she looks like she’s in a good mood and ignores or doesn’t care about how Rin’s state.

Rin speaks before you can "Rumia is taking me somewhere against my will. Save me" you little-

Marisa looks at you "Is that true ze?" and puts a hand on her mini hakkero teasingly.

"No'" is your simple response and you continue walking, if she really wants to shoot you
then she’d have to risk hitting him as well anyway.

A moment of silence follows the standown.

"Then have fun~ oh but do come back quickly! we don't have all day and I'm getting hungry" and she waves you two off as she lies down on some chair to rest.

Rinnosuke looks at her like he got betrayed but noone cares about that.

Anyhow, it is hunting time! You leave the shop ready for adventure!

And find it standing right in front of you! Cause you bumped into it. failed perception.

You let go off Rinnosuke and back off a bit since you need to look up.

Scarlet chainmail adorns a seven feet tall giant man, a helmet with the horns of a crimson red devil hides it's face as only darkness can be seen from the visor.
A fashionable and frankly comfy red cape envelops it all as it is armed with a blood red sword twice its own size to the point you can't really call it a sword anymore.
The whole appearance gives it a very ominous evil warrior kind of vibes. the kind the modern youkai hunter no longer has.

It also has a cross shaped hole in the chest area where black blood is dripping out off, you think that's what you sensed.

''...What a fascinating thing" Rinnosuke on the other hand looks at it as if he found treasure.

The Crimson Knight doesn't respond as it looks at the sword Rin is holding and grasps his own more tightly.

"Hm? O-oh no no, I am no fighter at all" Rin backs off and puts you in front of the creature instead.

Such bravery almost makes you swoon.

The maybe man maybe not man loses interest in him and then looks at you with the same level of intensity.

Now honestly, call yourself overconfident or perhaps dumb but you only fear one thing in this world.

And this thing is not a yellow balloon!

[ ] Establish Dominance.
[ ] "You want some Fugu bud?"
[ ] I roll to hit/hit on the enemy.
[ ] Marisa! Tasukete!

[ ] Genuflect.

As you see, I have learned how to use the colour function.

I praise the new update/reply box. super convenient to use

[x] Establish Dominance.

We just beat up an eldritch abomination. If we can't take down a man in generic fantasy edgelord armor, then what even is the point in living?
[x] I roll to hit/hit on the enemy
Waiting for that Nat 20
I know I should be breaking the tie, but...

[X] "You want some Fugu bud?"
[X] If it fails, call Marisa.
File 163286073746.jpg - (30.38KB, 474x360, Agent Sixty Nine.jpg) [iqdb]
Choose whatever vote, you prefer.

and speaking of which here we go.

Ladies and Smaller ladies

Now is the time you've all been waiting for!

Hold on a moment.

Got a call.

It's Mother.


Uhuh, yep.


I see

Never mind then dear viewer, the Tie Breaker Dojo has been cancelled for today.

Instead today we'll give a small replacement.

Go go Entertainment Program Ruukoto!

Here to make time fly faster than you can count to PI!

Storytelling.exe start.

Narrator: Communicator Entertainment Program "ConAgent6.9 (Six-point-Nine)" Episode 1 New Turtle Republic.

Here in the secret city where dreams come true and desires rule, something is being bought, sold and thrown away, even as we speak.

But behind the scenes of business as usual, the nefarious "J.O.O.N (Meaning [Redacted])" lines its already bloated coffers with profits from worthless products. As J.O.E (JOON Executives) swindlers yet another innocent into purchasing high-priced junk, the Kappa Corp mobilizes a top-secret task force to put a stop to the menace.

Now, the mountain's best-kept secret spy is out there, briefed and ready to protect the people from "J.O.E," the catalogue of conspiracy -- just call her "6.9 (Six-point-Nine)"

Four Hundred And Twenty: An young woman with green wavy hair and a rough speaks through a speaker, she has a manly mustacho : Six, do you copy?

Sixty Nine: An old hag that looks like a young girl with blue flowing hair speaks through a COMM with a gentle tone, she has an manlier mustacho : Roger. Thanks to 'Noi-Zap,' the slap-on, be-gone answer to communicator static, I can hear the ice melting in your lunch.

420: Good. What's the status?

69 :Loosen up, 420. I'm tailing a J.O.E. exec's underwater limo right now. It should lead me to their junk factory pretty soon

420: All right. That's where the 'Bod Bed,' the miracle product that promises to <Pump you up like and action star in your sleep>, is secretly produced.

69 : I know. The thing that has nothing but legs and a frame to support your head and heels, right? Whoever bought those almost deserves it.

420 : It's not like the people who bought them did anything wrong, Six.

69 : Did you buy one?

420 : ...

69 : Jeez, 420 you did buy one.

420 : It's not what you think! I only wanted the Ms. Huggy Froggy body the english translation of Moe Moe Kero-chan pillow that came free with the purchase!

69 : The Lion dog one is more popular though Same thing! Learn to buy wisely. You're playing right into J.O.E.'s hands.

420 : I'm sorry, Six.

69 : Don't be. It's not my money. The instalment payment should give you plenty of time to think

420 : Christ, f-five years.....

69 : Ms. Huggy Froggy didn't come cheap, did she? Oops, time to go. The limo just stopped

420 : Watch yourself

69 : Never fear, even if they notice me, there's no way they can attack this car.

420 : What? Why not?

69 : 'Kid in Kar' sticker. I tacked one on the window before I left.

420 : ...You're the goods, Six.

69 : Denunciate!

420 : Six! What's wrong?!

Beep! Beep! Beep!

69 : Not good. It's the 'Sexy Mama Don't Approach Sensor.' Looks like I underestimated their security measures.

420 : Get out of there, Six!

69 : Too late! I'm going in!


Ruukoto: To be continued

Author note: I'll roll a die by the end of tomorrow if the tie is still there.
[x] I roll to hit/hit on the enemy
[x] Nigerundayo if your attack didn't deal much damage
File 163295046584.jpg - (710.03KB, 1200x1200, Yum Yum this will be Fun.jpg) [iqdb]
The Vermillion Honcho stares at you, no emotion coming from it.

Pfah, is this thing for real?

A human challenging you of all things.

That's funnily enough not a rare thing to happen, there's always that bright young lad out to prove themselves as a hunter.

Most of the time by trying to gain experience by beating up weaker youkai before one day aiming for the big ones.

Sadly, all of them fail to realize that just because you're ranked in the low tier that doesn't mean you're some random punk.

Most of them don't taste good since they don't wash themselves before hunting, draining the blood is a real pain since it attracts other predators.

Hell, hunt too many and they'll send hunters after you. Which again is like throwing fuel into a fire for you.

In fact, you're quite the expert when it comes to cutting, slashing and all the nasty nasty things one man hunter needs to know.

But that's enough rambling for now, your opponent hasn't moved a muscle and the least you can do is give them a chance to back off.

"Want some Fugu bud?" you step forward and ask the Knight nicely, the fact you're standing on his foot should send the real message. Back off, this is my territory

Unless they're a dense son of a gun and frankly those kinds of humans deserve what natural selection has in store for them.... Hmm~ the nostalgia.

Some lad fearlessly approached you just a week ago, and outright shoved their hand on your head like he was trying to rinse dust out of your hair.

Sadly, the puppeteer intervened before you could bite their hand off.

Damn bi-A hand covers your entire face as the Red Ranger picked up your head like one would some fruit, then stares you in the eyes.

You give him the toothiest smile one can give in that position. "Oho, so you wanted me instead?" if you knew how to do a false blush, you'd have done it now. For shame.

The Knight being oh so knightly doesn't budge and continues staring at you with the intensity of a petty housewife who suspects you did something unfaithful
but refuses to talk about it in clear terms and would rather boil over in their imaginary theories than talk it out.

Okay, that was a bit too specific but anyhow, let's give this bastard his reward!

You clench your fist, swing it with your entire body weight and punch the man with all your strength!

*Clank! * An oddly casual sound emanates from the blow, you internally curse due to the pain that follows it.

Hansy Mclanky, that felt like stubbing your toe into the corner of a steel bed! The bastard has some quality armour...

Though the fact the knight took a step back or two tells you the momentum did carry. No dent on the armour though. but Knockback is knockback.

Seemed like that was all it wanted as it unsheathes it's biggass sword and gives you a come-on motion with his other hand.

"Should I call Marisa?"" Rin-chan says helpfully, as if he totally did not sacrifice you just earlier like a meat shield.

"Nah, it'll be fine" You shrug him off, and walk towards your foe with your arms outstretched “Tin Can man just wants a good fight"

"Good luck then" Rin-chan just nods as he walks back to the entrance, takes out a folding chair and observes the fight.

Anyway, for men like these the fight is all right? who or where doesn't matter now does it? you kill him and you'll get to eat him, he kills you and well that'll never happen.

You hunger for anon, that man shall suffice. So, you float up into the air and start shooting danmaku! waves of red and yellow patterns assault it!

I mean, why bother going into melee when you can just use their specialization against them? grapple the gunner, outrange the fister and abuse any weakness you see!

There's no fair play in the wild, only the one who kills the other and doesn't receive lasting injuries is the real winner.

The knight holds their sword with both hands, points it at the air as if it's a combat stance and turns into a blu-oh no.

You immediately turn around and bra-the blunt side of the blade hits you and smacks you into the ground!

You eat dirt, and grumble in exasperation. why can every swordclown just disappear and slash you out of nowhere!?

That thought won't be entertained as you roll out of the way and dodge a downwards thrust as the knight makes a crater on the ground.

You hear falls off your neck, sliced apart by a sword slash coming from the dust.

Game over.

Not! you predicted the move and move out of the way like a bad ballerina, the trees behind you and some rocks are sliced apart as a crimson slash continues, they’re not cutting you.

You've dodged quicker and less telegraphed attacks in your life, and once every man holding a sword does the same trick...

You start to learn the patterns.

"Heh, guess you're not some random hunter after all" you remove some of the grass on your cheek and smile. That blow of the sword did nothing but slightly bruise you, which means it doesn't have an of those youkai-slaying nonsense shenanigans strapped onto it. which means it won't turn of your youkai regeneration ergo the odds are in your favou-one sec he's gone again.

The sword whooshes past the back of your neck as you simply did a forward roll like a child playing around, again that nonsense only works the first time.

Oh yeah where were you? Because no matter how skilled a human is, they need to make only one mistake. just a single simple mistake before a crippling injury pulls them out of the fight

The Knight's feet shake for a short second as they suddenly stop and plants their sword into the ground. They don't seem pleased by how much fun you're having.

Then points at your Saw arm with a thumbs down as he spawns a smaller sword out of nowhere and throws it next to you.

Uhuh, in simple terms the thing wants an old school swordfight: No flying, no magic, no doo-hickey teleport spamming or sword beams. Just a REAL fight to the death.

Thing is you've never really used a sword before, other than playfights that it.

But on the other hand if you can annoy it just by dodging. imagine the sheer frustration it will feel at being outpaced by a complete noob.

You devote years of your life only to be bested by a little girl who hasn't held a weapon longer than 5 minutes, the sheer rage would be delicious.

True, you're not taking this that seriously. and the lad can have more tricks up their sleeve.

But right now? at this place and time? despite the fact you wake only a few moments ago.

Conflict just makes your blood boil! you want to crush the man by pushing picking them up and letting gravity do the work! you want to cook the man by heating his armour with danmaku! you want his last coherent thoughts to be complete regret and despair at having been humiliated and crushed by someone who should not even be a challenge!

You slap your own tummy; bad stomach now is not the time to fantasize just yet.
You'll get yummy food inside you later so focus for now.

Now then, how shall we hunt the buff lamb in the tin can?

[ ] Show him a whole new world Drop his ass from the sky
[ ] Swordfight? kind of cliché but who's to say no to new things!
[ ] Wield Narumi, who just happened to be walking by as a weapon instead.
[ ] Just keep having fun at it's expense, it'll tire out eventually.
[ ] Be a sourpuss and actually take this seriously (What's the strat?)
File 163295174242.jpg - (704.63KB, 900x700, rumiawithasword.jpg) [iqdb]
[x] Swordfight?
But beat him to death with the flat of the sword. Be as artless and graceless about it as possible for maximum humiliation.
[x] Wield Narumi, who just happened to be walking by as a weapon instead.

I was going to immediately do dual sword and chainsaw fight, but literally why the flying fuck is she here?
[x] Be a sourpuss and actually take this seriously

Tryhard time. First off fly to the trees and shoot danmaku at him, if he retreat or take cover then grab Rinnosuke's sword, swoop down and hit him with both your youkai strength and momentum from gravity and flying speed. If he is still alive then push him down and bite his neck.
File 163302818628.jpg - (11.60KB, 474x296, Agent69doingherbest.jpg) [iqdb]
Ladies and smaller ladies

Now is the time you've all been waiting for!

The Tie breaker Dojo is still in maintenance.

Please enjoy the temporary replacement and see you soon again!

Entertainment Program Ruukoto!

Here to make time fly faster than you can count to PI!

Storytelling.exe start


Communicator Entertainment Program "ConAgent 6.9 (Six-point-Nine)" Episode 2. <In the previous episode....> 6.9, the ConAgent, locates a junk factory run by J.O.E., the catalogue of conspiracies, but as she infiltrates the factory grounds, the shrill screams of the 'Sexy Mama Don't Approach Sensor' at the entrance pierce the night! Will Six-point-Nine triumph!?


69: That was close.

420: What?

69: ....420, do you read?

420: You okay, Six?

69: Yes, I made it safely into the factory grounds.

420: But the 'Sexy Mama Don't Approach Sensor' ....?

69: Now all I've got to do is get inside the factory....

420: What about the sensor?

69: Oh, shut up! You know if you didn't dwell so much on little things, you would never have been suckered into buying J.O.E. junk with the Ms. Huggy Froggy pillow ploy!

420: Oh really! So are you saying you've never had a bad shopping experience with catalogues, Six?

69: Never.

420: Liar! What about that 'Hot Hop' shoes you bough last winter?

69: Still using them. Thanks to these, I can walk around outside without getting chilly feet.

420: You're lying!

69:It's true, 420. I'm wearing them right now.

420: That's a rip-off product that heats up only when you keep them plugged into a wall outlet! How the hell can you <Take a Hot Hop outside and keep your toes snugly> in that piece of junk!

69:....I was raised by penguins in the South Pole. During blizzards, we'd all pack close together and wait it out. It was damned cold.... But thanks to those early days, my body can tolerate any kind of cold weather. Even if 'Hot Hop' isn't plugged in, I can wear them as normal shoes and that's enough to get through the winter in.

420: So why didn't you just buy regular shoes to begin with!?

69: Shut up! Stop poking into other people's past!

(The following exchange is censored due to the overabundance of swear words, spite and gruesome scenarios of what they'll do to each other mothers as a threat)


Woman: Who's there!? (Someone heard the shouting! our hero's cover is blown!)

69: Huh!

420: Six? Did you say something?

69: It's not me. There's somebody else!

Woman: Who is this!?

69 :....A woman?



Ruukoto: To be continued


Tiebreaker? Spare Tiebreaker maam?

pwease donate im broke

Jk, but yeah I'll roll an die tomorrow if it's still a tie by then.
Time to roll ze dice

Rolling 1d3 => 2
File 163312033142.png - (605.17KB, 710x754, The fight.png) [iqdb]
You walk closer to the blade and look at it, it's the exact same version as the one he got except a tad smaller and lighter.

Then you look at him "So you want a fair fight is that it?" you ask with a bored tone.

The knight doesn't say a word, and only presumes a battle stance.

"Dude, can't you at least give the effort of doing a head up or down? I'm no man reader, I'm a man eater" you complain.

Your opponent pauses at that and lowers their head a bit to reply yes.

"Duly noted" and you decide on your new weapon.

It shall be the girl that's just walking by!

You rush towards her and tackle her into the ground, a shriek of fright comes out but that's all she gets.

Those long braided black hair, that old fashioned grey robe, the way she looked down when she walks.

That girl is a NERD, you can smell it.

People like that deserve to be disrespected.

It's the law of the jungle, the strongest can do whatever!

Ignoring her protests and modest hesitation, you hold both of her legs like one would the handle of a sword and point your new weapon at the sky!

"Rejoice! girl I don't know, for you have been chosen to serve as the mighty blade of Rumia herself"

She's saying things rapidly with tears of joy in her eyes, you assume she's thanking you for the honour of joining your quest.

You pat her head with affection...wait that's too far away, so you pat her butt with affection instead "I feel the same way, let our bond be a marvellous one"

She shivers in joy, so happy to be blessed with your touch that its kinds of disturbs you.

Not only that but girl is far heavier than you expected, and her skin feels cold and hard to the touch. It is as if she was made from stone.

Which would be perfect since you'd need just that. The best way to harm a hard object is to smash it with an even harder one!

You dub her Harder than Darkness or would Sword Breaker be a better name?

The knight loses patience and charges at you with a sword slash aimed at your head!

You decide now is the time to test your weapon and smash at the blade like a club!

Both weapons impact on one another, but this time you're the one pushed away! your opponent continues his wild frenzy of swings and you're forced on the defensive! his sword strikes harder and faster with each strike as it slowly turns into a blur yet every time the impact is hampered by the blade you wield! Finally, he forces your guard open and kicks you in the stomach! The knockback sends you flying!

You twirl around in mid-air and press your saw arm into the ground to land. The swordsman gives chase and is but a few feet away from trying the same thing again!

You won't let that happen!

Moonlight Sign: Moonlight Ray: A rain of danmaku comes surging out of you. the yellow bullets home straight at the man! but they don't slow him a lot as he rushes between the gaps between the pattern and prepares himself for a slash aimed at your neck. Decapitation is imminent!

"FIRE!" The twin lasers spawn from behind you and shoot you straight towards him! you hold your weapon firmly like a lance as you prepare for collision! the weight makes you spin like a spiral!

Realizing what you're about to do, the knight stops his charge and prepares for a counter. but it comes too late as you smash straight into his chest!

Both of you get dragged into a straight line for a while, sparkles surging out as your weapon collides with his armour once, twice, thrice! You'd boast about how amazing it looks but your stomach is killing you!

And something shatters alright, as your sudden duo flight comes to a halt.

The knockback hits both of you, and your face becomes reacquainted with the ground again.

But you're okay in a way, your weapon is taking a nice nap though.

You get up with some pain in well most of your everything and look at your surroundings: dry dusty grass is on the ground, trees with no leaves are everywhere and the air smells of ashes.

Yep, you've gone a tad deeper into the Forest of Magic, guess the fires didn't spread to the outskirts of it. Also, where did your opponent go?

Up? No birds. Left? Nope, right? There's some smoke emanating and a figure coming out of oh it's it!

It's a skeleton! not actually that's the wrong word. one sec: The knight’s chest armour has been shattered, revealing its true nature to you: odd pieces like clockworks are where organs its should be as a putrid black oil works as the blood for it's system. One of the pieces is a red round vermillion gem encased in the lower abdomen, you think it's the heart since it's beating and pulsing even though objects don't do that.

Uh, yeah, this stuff really isn't your specialty, but you guess the good old logic applies here: Hit the weak point and your enemy dies faster!

Speaking of the enemy, it is looking at you with a mighty fierce glare. They remove even more of their own armour since there's no more point in holding onto it and replace their great sword with a rapier.

The Red Knight turned into a Red Fencer huh? well you're sure that they're going to be faster now if not more brutal due to the whole trapped rat in the corner thin-Pfffffff.

"Pfahahahaha!" you hold your stomach in mirth. "You're so weak! I'm barely hurt, not even going all out and here you are at death's door. some knight you are!" you mock it.

If it had eyes, you swear it'd be twitching them in rage now, the gem inside of it shines as it gathers more energy inside itself and pop another one appears! and then another! and then an....Oooh.

Those aren't copies or anything, they are after images.

How do you know?

Well, the fact your cheek is bleeding even though you are several feet away is a major indicator.

"Okay that's a bit better~ but compared to the dinner of pain that I faced earlier you're nothing but fast food!" You're not that worried since hey one more hit and it's going to drop dead.

The worst it could do to you is inflict massive pain probably? your cheek has already he-and that's another cut. is it boasting or what?

Oh, looks like they surrounded you now in a 20-meter radius. they're moving so fast it's like you're in the middle of a tornado.

You're not in the mood for metaphors and frankly are starting to get a bit bored of this.

Why don't people have the decency to just drop dead when you want them to?

Though if you had to be an optimist then the way they glisten like rubies mid run is quite beautiful.

Anyway, let's get rid of those bozos and get back to Kourin for a proper food afterwards.

(About your Nonconsenting weapon Loyal Ally)

[ ] Sword Breaker was a good sport, drop her and leave her out of this. She has fulfilled her role

[ ] Sword Breaker makes a fine tool, keep using her. You must introduce her to your other servants later

(How will you fight?)

[ ] No point in being fast if you can't see! Darkness and Danmaku!
[ ] No point in being fast if they can't reach you! into the air!
[ ] Those are WIMP methods! (Use something better/Write in)

Author Note: Fwooh! consider me humbled!

>>31483 and to answer your question, why not? it's the same reason as to why you had the option to genuflect or fall in love with someone you didn't even know.

Because it's that kind of story and I'm challenging myself to work a tad out of my comfort zone too!

Though fight scenes are still a tad hard to do, I'm sure I'll get better with time.

I hope you're all enjoying the story so far and will await your votes warmly!

Though one more question: What did you all think of the tie breaker posts? figured they'd be nice instead of just not updating until a tie is broken but if they're like disruptive I can stop doing em.

Also Nice weekend!
[x] Sword Breaker makes a fine tool, keep using her. You must introduce her to your other servants later
Good cudgel.
[x] No point in being fast if you can't see! Darkness and Danmaku!
I wonder if you can do any interesting danmaku with a chainsaw?

I'm loving the story right now. I do also enjoy the episodes of secret agent 6.9 for all of its insanity. The proper tie breaker dojo is a pretty fun diversion as well.
File 163321109294.jpg - (636.28KB, 1200x1600, HURRYUPALREADY.jpg) [iqdb]
Okay let's get our facts straight.

Tin can got an instant diet and became several me-no he's just super fast now.

The plural of them have surrounded you with unwholesome intent.

You're not such a fast girl yourself, nor can your eyes really follow their movement.

So, you know what? If you can't see, then no one should!

Let Darkness rule! a large of sphere of darkness surrounds the area!

At the same time, you drop prone to avoid the mass skewering that would follow.

The piercing pain in your back tells you that you've been stabbed five times in that timeframe...and that makes no sense at all.

You're telling me that in the time it took for your body to hit the ground, the thing crossed the entire distance. circled around your back and then stabbed you five times?

You're not sure if it's super speed after all, but if it is then that's overpowered BS.

It's BS like that remind you of how much you dislike super speed. Not only does it make chasing people way harder than it needs to be, but it only gives those that fight like uh what's a fancy word for like the opportunity to harm someone? hmmm.

Never mind that thought, you're in the middle of a darkness ball and naturally have it shoot out a bunch of danmaku at random patterns. if you didn't do that then the knight could simply walk in and like stab every corner until they eventually reach you right? the sound of blades hitting the ground nearby c-Oh they're actually doing that.

You should probably make up a plan now.

Like a smart plan.

Though to be fair the blinding your foe was a great idea and using danmaku to keep em at bay since they've got no idea where it would come out is smart too.

But now you need a plan to actually hurt it in this state, how does harm someone with super speed?

You roll around a bit and make yourself comfy on your back, can't think if the grass disturbs you.

Sword breaker is used like a pillow for your head, she's not saying no to it.

She's a good girl, isn't she? so eager to serve and please. that's some top tier servant material~

You'll be sure to introduce her to the others after this, hopefully they won't get jealous.

It's not like you could use Rin or Marisa like a cudgel, they'd crack faster than eggs if smashed against a hard surface.

Oh, the noise of metal is getting a tad louder, still outside of the circle of not light though. you gave it a range of 15 meters.

Why is that? simple, consider the following.

If you try shooting it with lasers or danmaku, their super reflexes will simply let it dodge it.

Try hitting it with a heavy weapon like your Saw or Sword Breaker and they'd dodge AND counter you.

Everything that can be dodged or countered will most likely turn for the worse hmmm.

You rub your chin in thought and ask yourself: So how does someone beat a faster opponent? how did the hunters of old do it?

You could try ambushing it? use the opportunity of surprise to land a deadly blow!

Nah, again super speed= super reflexes shenanigans mean it could simply dodge again.

Try to out speed it? you've got no experience with those extreme speeds other than go in straight lines and hope for the best.

Then the last thing you can do is: Make it harder for it to reach you instead!

Entering the darkness is a tactic too foolhardy for it to follow, it would take away it's vision and the risk of being ambushed is far greater too.

And it's obvious it cannot take that hit.

But it's not like it can just wait it out either, since if it does then your pals should be arriving in just a moment maybe?

They probably won't but he doesn't know that. either way now he's the one at a stalemate!

Does he risk entering the dark zone or will he not? that's up for you to find out.

You giggle and pat your own back, you're a clever girl for thinking that.


Nothing is happening now, not a single sound can be heard coming from it.

On second thought you underestimated your own sense of boredom.

But you're not taking the first step! the moment he does is the moment an opportunity comes!

At least you think so.


Anyway, you're bored so you look at your fat lard of a saw hand. you wonder if it's edi-NO! not that kind of thought!

You look at your hand and move it around a bit, the sensation still feels alien to be honest if not just icky. Like it's not even a cool replacement of a hand it's just a stout circly rectangly thingie of metal with sharp edges, what do you even do with that? guess it'd make for some cool spell cards?

Huh....Something Sign: Cleave the Moon!: and then like you'll shoot out pointy circles which fall down in a straight line so the opponent goes to hide at the bottom, except then they realize that once the saw bullets reach the bottom they attach themselves to the edges of the screen and make their way back up again! so then the foe has to deal with saws from above while trying not to go too far away either? that'd be pretty cool.

What's the edge of a screen? heh, that's a fun topic for a later date.

Then again, you're just talking to yourself right now, not like anyone can hear this.


He's still not taking the bait huh? jeez, but still, you won't be the one to move first. every moment it doesn't do anything is a moment in which your strength is coming back.

As in now, you're at 100% now. couldn't feel any bette-ew there's some drool nearby you.

Oh, it's just Sword Breaker murmuring as they wake up. "Uh wha-" you give her a gentle tap on the head to make her stay down, now’s not the time for this and swords don’t talk.

It's hollow how curious, does that mean it has no organs? could this thing be a living object then?


DO SOMETHING ALREADY! is what you want to shout.

Like seriously why it hasn’t acted yet? this is supposed to be some cool battle yet here you are lying in some comfy shade waiting for an attack that just doesn't come!

Isn't this the part where he shows some special attack or some dramatic revelation!? GIVE A GOOD FIGHT DAMMIT!

Or does he know? does he know the fact that you know that he knows you expect him to get in? cause if you totally expected him to expect th-I'M BORED!

You get up and hold Sword Breaker over your shoulder with one hand, like a samurai who saw their city burn you behold the non-existent horizon with another flame of the heart doused out.

Frankly speaking, your sense for the dramatics has been immensely disappointed.

This day and fight has been officially ruined.

Guess you''ll have to do the first move after all...

[ ] Call out to him "FACE ME COWARD!" and wait even more. (Wait in short)

[ ] Release the darkness and prepare for an all or nothing homerun. (Reveal and Melee)

[ ] Surge out of the darkness like a tiger with lasers! (Rush out and shoot everywhere)

[ ] Another strategy. (Something better)

Author note: Not sure if I conveyed it well, but essentially both of you are camping (As in refuse to leave a position that doesn't give you the advantage) as far as Rumia knows.

That's a pretty lame tactic in her opinion, despite the fact she did it first.
[X] Call out to him "FACE ME COWARD!" and wait even more. (Wait in short)
[x] Call out to him "FACE ME COWARD!" and wait even more. (Wait in short)
Who'd have thought that hyper speed fencer man was more of a little girl than we are?
File 163329009089.jpg - (9.13KB, 201x251, Stay calm stay calm do NOT FALTER.jpg) [iqdb]

As if you'd be beaten that easily!

A fight is a contest of physical and mental strength after all, the first person to move is the one that admits the other is smarter.

Or simply has more time to waste.

Now that you think about it you don't have anything planned today anyway.

Wait, waaaait! you think you DID say something right? something important! at least it felt like it?

Oh well it'll come back in time then.

So, you just lay there in comfort with your new servant, unmoving and uncaring like a leaf carried by the wind.

Unlike said leaf your thoughts are brimming with impatience and boredom, hurry up.

That's not a joke, when you can't see anything and the only person you talk to doesn't reply.

Time starts to feel eternal.

"Speaking of which, I've heard that humans who are exposed to darkness for 3 days straight will go insane, because like the fuzzy idea maker in their heads start to mentally gaslight them with things that aren't true. Like There's something behind you or You're being watched, the demons are coming though when I make the shadows that tends to be true! so even a broken clock ticks right once a day!" you continue conversing with Sword breaker.

Sword breaker does not reply, no more sound comes from your surroundings either.

"Did you fall asleep? don't blame ya" you yawn "The shade IS pretty comfy to be in, you and many others know that. Speaking of those they tend to be troublesome! Instead of asking me if they can enter the bubble or walk around with me they just barge into the spot and nap, or hell if they're fairies just attach themselves to me to cool off....even killing them doesn't dissuade them from it hence I've grown to dislike physical affection, someone pat my head or give me a hug and I can't help but think of a bunch of little girls consuming me in a cuddle pile brrrr" the memory shakes you "And sure that sounds mighty adorable but I tell ya get tackled out of the sky by a bunch of gremlins and you'll see how cute you'll find it after the thirteenth timy something! It's a miracle I haven't met any of them so far today. Place should be crawling with the lot but who am I to complain?"

You chat even more to avoid boredom, but soon run out of things to say.

.... The silence feels almost deafening now

But it's okay, you can deal with this!

After all you're strong and disciplined, you are a good girl!

And humble enough not to overplay it either, who cares if he doesn't reply? You got time~


OHFORTHELOVEOF-"COME OUT YOU COWARD!" Nope, you can't pretend the good vibes are with you "Fight me already or else I will...EAT ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!" you shake a fist in anger towards it.


Again, it doesn't respond, hell you're starting to doubt that it's eve-not! that's what it wants you to think doesn't it!? the moment you remove the darkness to peek your face will become a shiz kebab.

You are smarter than that, smart enough to not let your emotions get the best of you. A hunter must be patient in times, and the more you wait the better the taste in the end, right?

Doesn't stop you from taunting it with your masterful insults as you stand up. "I'll start with your mom cause she's fat like a cow! and then your dad because he looks like a mountain of ice cream! okay sure I don't know where they are right now but I'm certain that once I manage to get the address, I'd be able to come to your house and just eat them into itsy little Bitsie's and that will hurt your feelings! unless you're an orphan? If so HA HA HA on you! When you were born your mother took like one look at you cause that's all she needed, the one look I mean cause like people can see from both eyes right? wait isn't it both looks cause you'd have two loo-anyway she took one look at you then back at the doctor cause they were too and she said something nasty! something fierce even! like uh like "I want a refund sir! I did not heat the bun in my oven for 9 months just to get mouldy white bread! Nuhu sir I want another bebe! what do you mean I have to wait another 9 months cause that's how long babies are to be born!? just let me exchange my baby with someone else's then, no one will ever know! cause he's so ugly get it? so ugly no one could recognize them as the-You get where I'm going with this Orphan boy? GOOD" the savagery is sure to destroy them mentally.


Guess what? No response.

"NGGH! NNNGGH!" NO! you breathe in deeply and breathe out, to give an angrish mess of a reaction would be to play in their hands, you won't lose to it! you'll never lose to anyone again!

So, you think happy thoughts, think of good memories as you caress Sword breaker's hair, their braids feel a bit warm and smooth compared to the rest of their cold and hard exterior. Does that mean only the hair is alive or is this one of those weird tsukokiwhatever things? anyway good times! let's think of some.... like just yesterday!

You woke up and saw Cirno first thing in the morning! "Good morning!"

She was busy eating your arm (which woke you up) and smiled at you like a ray of sunlight "Mworning!"

"Why are you eating me? are you hungry?" you inquired immediately since being eaten, regardless of friend or foe didn't seem like a fun time.

She stopped drooling at your sleeve (Her teeth did not pierce your clothes) and got up while looking thoughtful. "I've thought of a new method to become stronger than I am now"

"Huh, you were thinking? but aren't you Cirno?" you replied, barely awake and so unable to hold back.

"What does that mean?!" Cirno pouted with her arms crossed right in your face and sighed shortly afterwards. "Whatever, look some things are natural right? like how birds eat insects?"

"Small head means a small bra-" you stopped and corrected yourself just in time "Yeah? some birds eat fruit and meat though. what are you going for?""

"Look the strong eat the weak, birds are stronger than insects, so they eat them, but Rumia is stronger than birds, so you eat the birds, right?"

"Myeah? if any of em get close then sure I'll take a bite out of them! guess that makes me stronger than them"

"So Rumia eats birds, birds eat insects. sooooooo" The ice fairy gave you a weird look then.


"If I eat you, I'll become the strongest of those!" she exclaimed with a fist in the air, proud of her own genius.

"You're stronger though?" you corrected her "Wouldn't eating someone weaker than you make you weaker?"

Cirno did not seem convinced "Nuhuh, I'm a genuis and since it's my plan it CANNOT be wrong!"

".... Okay, why don't you just eat the strongest then and skip the whole process?"

"Hm? the strongest what?"

"The strongest person in the land, beat them and you'll be stronger than everyone no? the true ruler of the world and yada yawwnnn" you rub your eyes and were about to snooze again. Cause Nocturnal.

"But who's the strongest of the land?" Cirno noticed and slapped her cold hand on your forehead to keep you awake "Tell me who the strongest is and I'll beat them up!"

"Hnggghu c-c-o-o--l-l-d-d! okay fine uh.... I don't know beat up the shrine maiden and witch and you'll be the best yippee kajay and all that stuff"

Gears grind in her head, as she looks at the sky with determination. "So, if I beat all the witches and shrine maidens, I'll be the strongest?"

"Sure" now leave please.

"Okay!" she shouted in cheer and did a fist pump "I'm going now then! thanks for the help, I'll remember you once I become a legend!" and she flied off.

And that's it, on second thought that wasn't really a happy memory huh? still better than nothing.

Wait was that really yesterday? more like yester yesterday maybe? otherwise she wouldn't be missing right?

Whatever, it doesn't matter right now, not like anything will happening

Speaking of nothing happening...

Guess who's still not responding.

That's right!


COME ON! you don't know how much time passed but at the least let something happen already!

There's only so much you can do in a sphere of darkness that doesn't involve sleeping!


[ ] Wait, you will NOT falter! resist the urge!

[ ] FINE, you'll come out and make the bastard pay!

[ ] SCREW THIS, you're leaving this joint.

[ ] Unleash your RAGE to the world. (Warning: Heavy amount of Angrish can lead to a early visit to the heaven gates)

Author: Half a mind to just write down

Nothing happens.

[ ] Continue waiting

[ ] Do something else

But that'd be lazy~

Anyway hope you enjoyed your weekend.
>Wait, waaaait! you think you DID say something right? something important! at least it felt like it?

Oh yeah, we were gonna check on the ashes of fanon... OH WE HAVEN'T CONFIRMED FANONS DEAD!

[x] SCREW THIS, you're leaving this joint.
Grab Marisa, we've got more important stuff to do!
File 163336462552.png - (175.07KB, 460x460, Where did he go.png) [iqdb]
You know what?

Screw all of this, if that knight refuses to reveal themselves and makes this whole fight such a bore to be in.

Then you'd rather not fight at all, with that in mind you remove the darkness.

And see your opponent is nowhere to be seen, they're not even in the area anymore...there's only the forest itself, quiet like a graveyard.

That dude just ran away, while you were waiting like a mighty feline that thing just went off and skedaddled!

...You feel IMMENSELY cheated, if someone made a cake in front of you, with your favourite flavour and all only to throw it at the ground at the last possible moment.

You'd still wouldn't feel as upset as you are right now.

The only thing that's been achieved here is that he wasted both your time and energy.

The thought of possibly tracking him down back to their nest comes to mind but screw it.

Let's go fetch the Witch and continue our other quest first and foremost.

With a sigh and a rude word, you dote on your weapon a bit to calm down and fly back to Kourindou.

Like a saucy hawk you soar through the air with one arm outstretched.

The sight of your territory below makes yo-TREE!

You barely dodge it and slow down your pace. Them woods sure rise high.

Anyway, you're back! didn't take more than half a minute with your flight speed.

Fly every day of your life and eventually you start to get good at it.

Wait that applies to everything doesn't it? Tomato Potato if you're that wise you should write a book!

You enter the store and the musk of an actual good brekkie floats to your nostrils; it triggers the funny dopa juice.

Your heart flutters, your lungs wheeze and your mouth leak a bit as you fly into the living room entranced "F~O~O~D~♥"

Marisa and Rin-chan are sitting on a big couch together, 3 feet apart cause they ain't married. They're eating something you don't recognize while watching some box that makes a lot of noise.

"Get up Rexy! Come on you can do it ze! Show them who's the real Dino!" The witch is on the edge of her seat, shouting words of encouragements towards the box. did she go crazy?

"Calm down" Rinnosuke doesn't seem that immersed in comparison. "They're the heroes anyway, those never die at the end. they'll win somehow and the action man will make out with the girl shortl-"

"No spoilers ze!" The witch gives him a tap on the head and continues watching with a gleam of excitement in her eyes "Don't ruin this for me, it's the finale! the climax! the final stage boss!"

He grumbles in response and puts his plate down. Head resting against the couch "You've watched it already-" then he finally notices you. "Oh, welcome back" no joy comes out that statement.

You drop Swordbreaker on the ground and immediately float up to his face "Where's the food at? Did you leave any for me?" You smile sweetly.

"Why is Naru-" You grab him by the shoulders "Kitchen, head to the counter. take a plate and dig in" You let go and head to the kitchen.

The kitchen is a kitchen, it has a floor that looks like a floor and kitchen stuff that looks like kitchen stuff.

Shocking I know, but anyway you want the rumbles in the tumbles and the source of the yum buns are right there in a pan!

It looks like a bunch of rolled meat buns covered in mushrooms like a bald man wearing an afro, it smells good and hopefully it isn’t poisonous.

You just pick up the pan with both hands, open your mouth and BONNE APPETIT!

The mushrooms don't taste like regular mushrooms, they are mild and soft rather than chewy and woody and have the crispy juicy taste of the sauce that dripped off the meat.
The meat itself has been well marinated with an exotic taste of wine giving the beef jerky like taste a much bigger oomph! Together they combine to a flavour out of this world!

It's delicious! it's so yummy tears are coming out of your eyes, your cheeks redden, and your face is becoming blue cause you're not breathing! YOU HAVE TO EAT IT ALL!

A few painful but heavenly seconds later you're done. you ate all of it. your feet are shaking as you're holding onto the table and can barely stand.

A few more seconds and you exhale in satisfaction, boy that was a good meal~

But you are not satisfied by this, your stomach doesn't feel any different.

You hunger for Anon.

"Rumia! we need to talk to you!" Rin calls out to you; his voice sounds sterner than usual.

"Coming!" summon the darkness and it shall arrive "What do you want?" you ask in good humour.

The atmosphere is completely different once you re-enter, what was once two buds having a good time is two buds taking care of your knocked out Sword Breaker and looking at you like you did something foul.

Scratch that, it's just Rin looking at you disapprovingly as he's touching your servant's neck and putting her in some weird position. "What did you do to her?"

Marisa is still shouting at the box and has progressed from siting to getting over to the screen and shaking it with some fierce uh hype? "Get off the high heels ze! the T rex is coming for your ass you dumb bimbo!"

"Rumia" Rinnosuke repeats himself with a colder tone and a frown murking his usual I'm-pretending-to-be-cold-but-actually-really-really-love-you-dear vibe. "Can you explain to me why Narumi is knocked out and covered in dirt and blood? did you hurt her?"

You shrug, as if you'd ever harm someone for the funsies. "Who do you think I am? do I look like a sadist to you?" you cross your arms, offended by his mistrust in you.

"Probably" He says with zero hesitation "You've never been someone to be that gentle to other people, wouldn't be surprised if you messed her up just because she got in your way"

"And if I did? You lose a spell card battle then the winner is free to do whatever. I didn't do nothing bad Rin-chan! besides didn't you watch me? "

"No, I lost interest midway and here I am. but please explain to me what kind of scenario has trans folded while you were busy"

Uhuh, you know you're used to the cold treatment but the way his eyebrows are doing the thing show that he clearly expects some nonsense from you.

His lack of faith though offensive it may be, is not that misplaced. You ARE a youkai after all.

But of course, you had a most sensible reason for this.

That being...

[ ] The girl is your servant; she did her job as Sword breaker well and led you to victory.
[ ] You defeated her and established yourself the Alpha. Now she must follow you.
[ ] You have no need to explain your actions and will be going with Marisa now.

[ ] For some reason, deception seemed suitable (Insert a lie here)
[x] You defeated her and established yourself the Alpha. Now she must follow you.

I mean...she never even attempted to break away. That's just victory by default.

Also, I see Rumia's diction is inversely proportional to her hunger level. Neat.
[x] Deception seemed suitable.

[x] You saved her life from the big mean knight, now she must repay the life debt by serving you.

I love the boldness of saying "Sword breaker is my bitch now" in front of Rinnosuke but with that logic the man can just make Marisa dominate us instead.

Now we only have to hope he will actually believe it
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Ladies and smaller ladies!

It is time for the time you've all been waiting for!

We've finally figured out the main source of our problem and it shall be solved soon.

Expect to see it again soon enough.

Meanwhile, please be entertained with our dear storyteller AI.

Entertainment Program Ruukuto!

Here to make time fly faster than you can count PI!

Storytelling.exe start.

Communicator Entertainment Program "ConAgent 6.9 (Six-point-Nine)" Episode 3! <In the previous episode....> Against all odds, Six-point-Nine succeeds in infiltrating the junk factory run by J.O.E., the catalogue of conspiracies. But a shadowy figure of a woman emerges in front of her! Will Six-point-Nine triumph!?


69: Stop shouting! I'm not dead yet!

420: Six, you're okay?

69: Yeah, barely. if it wasn't for the 'Meany Kitty go away Spray' <Avoid a long day of being run on fumes and getting the crap scratched out of you by using this product, only a single dose and your feline foe will feel like it's been ridden hard and put away wet!> that tiger would have killed me. What kind of woman takes animals to their job anyway?

420: ....Is it the enemy, Six?

69: I don't know, MAYBE? She's coming this way. I'll have to fight after all!

420: What do you mean have to? did you run away from her? that's quite cowardly Six..

Clop, clop, clop...

69: Shut up! I'm a lover not a fighter, if I see a cute woman I show her my belly button not the fist. That's on the honor of-

Clop, clop, clop...tack!

Woman: It's Six-point-nine, isn't it?

69: How....Who're --

Woman: Don't you remember? We were at ConAgent Academy together. It's me, Kasen.

69: Karen? Jeez, how many years has it been?

Karen: Don't you show your belly button! I haven't forgiven you yet!

69: You're still mad? About me buying a ton of infomercial products with your credit card?

Karen: And sending me the ton of stuff that didn't work out to me house.

69: Well, I thought you'd be glad to....

Karen: Oh, who do you think you're fooling! What kind of an idiot would be glad to have an 'Even-an-Elephant Storage Box?' All it is that it's bigger than an elephant!

: Gosh, sounds like you were pretty out of control, Six?

69: I was young....

Karen: I faked being an employee of this factory. I've been waiting all this time for you just so I can get even with you!

69: So you must know your way around here, Kaz.

Karen: What if I do? You're not getting any help from me, not even if you use an affectionate nickname.

69: I love you, Kaz. Always have.

Karen: ....What?

69: Help me out here.

Karen: ....No way.

420: Nice and easy, Six, you've almost got her!


Karen: AAAH!

69: WOW!

420: What is it, Six?

69: Machine gun! We're under attack!

Karen: It's the armed guards!


69: Our health isn't going to get any better sticking around. Karen, let's call it a truce. Show me the way into the factory, please!

Karen: The hell I will!


69: We'll both get killed! Come on!

Karen: All right, all right! This way!


69: Okay, 420. We're going in.

420: Watch yourself, Six. It's even more dangerous inside!

420:...For some reason I have the urge to shout Six? Six! SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX?!

Ruukoto: To be continued.


>>31495 True, or perhaps Rumia just ignored it. She may have words when she wakes up or fight for her freedom but right now you have a job to do. Live bold!

>>31496 Ever heard of the saying "Don't give the Gm ideas?" Jk, but damn that would have been a good uno reverse card. Anyway that could be a good lie since it's your words against hers and she has no words to say right now.

With that. I'll hope for a tie breaker to come and will roll a die tomorrow if not.
Rolling 1d2 => 2
File 163354325386.jpg - (122.24KB, 850x734, No punny title sadly.jpg) [iqdb]
You open your mouth to speak and close it for a second "Just a gander"

On second thought, just saying the truth might give off the wrong impression.

Sure, you did pick up the girl and used her as a weapon.

Sure, you did not ask for her opinion.

But frankly you don't care. If someone's weak they don't get to complain.

Not like a human or half human would understand that as they've got morals.

Fancy word for being a wimp really, why hold back your own actions? just do whatever you want!

Be free like the wind, eat when you want to eat, sleep when you want to eat. Spend your days flying around aimlessly if that makes you happy and if someone stands in your way beat them up!

That's how a youkai do, that's how you do. "It was for a greater cause" you chirp back at him.

But in the end, the best way to beat a human is to use their own method "That cause being?"

Deception, the man-made tool shall be used!

"Survival~" you put your hand over your face like a dame about to tell a horrific tale "Oooh, it was horrible! here I was uh fighting the knight since they seemed like a bad dude yknow? their costume didn't really show off good will, so I took the first stri-"

Rinnosuke narrows his eyes and interrupts “Cut to the chase"

You speak loudly and slowly so he can understand "Knight bad, Me good, Knight want to hurt Girl, Me save Girl, Girl belongs to me now" and smile with the innocence of a pupper.

Rin-chan's look doesn't change at all, he crosses his arms and continues looking at you with suspicion "Is that all? if so, she can stay here"

Your smile wavers, mild annoyance starting to reek into your voice "Are you trying to steal her from me? I got her fair and square Rin-chan"

"That's incorrect" He pushes up his glasses "And I'm also saying that the girl in her current state would be of no use to you, or were you planning to drag her along all day?"

"Oh, but she's doing her job well!"

"Is that so?"

"That is so, she makes a fine cudgel~"

"...." The Shopkeeper is rendered mute after that sentence, it's like gears are grinding in his head while he's making heads out of tails. "What?"

"I'm saying her head makes a nice Bonk sound when it smashes against something, it's super funny" you giggle as you keep eye contact.

"And you see nothing wrong against that?" he sounds confused.

You nod after a short second "Nada! why would there be a problem?"

He lets out a deep sigh "Harming people for fun is-"

"Wrong? maybe to you, but it's the rules of nature Rin-chan: The strong walk on the weak. Everyone in the forest respect that"

"Since when?"

"As off right now!"

He gives another pause again, as if he did not know this, which is impossible since he lived here for a long time "You have a problem" which is not a question but a firm statement.

You blink, confused yourself this time "Okay that's rude, w-why would you say that?" and your eyes start to moisten.

He points at you with one finger, as if he resolved some mystery "There, the way you switch from happy to sad and friendly to hostile so rapidly. The fact your arm looks so...odd and your own actions right now.
They're so out of character that it can only mean one thing..." he pauses.

You huff as you lose composure "Out with it!"

"You're emotionally damaged" he finally says, "I only heard fragments of the earlier discussion you had with Marisa but it's clear to me that you've been deeply affected by whoever was responsible for the fire" What nonsense is he spouting?

You can't help but look down and hiss "I'm fine, and how I feel and what I do is none of your business" if looks could kill, he'd die from a heart attack. "Also, their name is Fanon" you try to change the subject.

"I beg to differ" and the man has the audacity of trying to touch your shoulder. He's not only pitying you but also looking down on you. A half man is looking down on you!

"Then beg!" You push him away, with not enough force since he only takes a step back. "Shut up! You're not smart! you're an idiot who's wasting my time! shut up and die!" and you move to pick up Sword Breaker and leave like the bigger person you are.

And meet face to face with a mini hakkero pointed at your well face "Hold your horses ze" the witch has come to the defence of her pal, looking mean and ready to beam. "You're not going anywhere till I get my answers"

Psh, as if you'd ever harm the guy for being a jerk. "Well then hurry up and shoot already! You think you're the boss of me? you think he's the boss of me?! WRONG! I am the boss! I am in control!" and you want this nonsense to move forward darn it!

"I don't like yer tone ze" She prepares to shoot "Back off, or I will shoot! any funny buz and-"

"Just let her go" Rinnosuke makes the witch lower her furnace like it's a firearm, then looks back at you condescendingly and sighs. "Fine, never mind all this. The two of you go out already and go look for clues or something. We can have this conversation later once you've calmed down and are willing to do so"

...Tsk, the know all know nothing jerk is acting like he understands everything. "Fine" but you're too tired to bother with another argument and start to walk out. "Ah almost forgot Sword Breaker" you lean to pick her up.

"You're not taking Narumi" Rinnosuke replies firmly.

"We don't do kidnappings ze, forget about it and get a move on" Marisa adds in.

It's starting like these guys are being more of a nuisance, but you hold any insult in and pocket one of his weird objects out of spite "I'm taking this then" it's the thing that doesn't come back when you throw it.

Maybe Dai would like it, at least she's a REAL friend (Youkai/Fairy) unlike these bozos.

Anyway, you're starting to have your fill of human dialogue and move out of the shop, Marisa stays behind a bit to chat with Rin some more but you're sure she'll catch up. If not that's even better.

The Sun is shining fiercely like usual; the sky is of a deep blue as the landscape surrounding the shop is of green shrubberies and large trees, the wind moves like a gentle breeze but reeks of ashes and blood. You're not sure whether to feel happy that the forest prevailed against the flames or uneasy since this could just be the prelude to something wors-whatever.

Enough musing and all that nonsense.

Are you a monster or a teenage girl in a bad romcom? The answer is monster, no matter what you look like the true you are the darkness that everyone unconsciously fears. The moonless nights where strange shadows can be seen, the monster inside your closet. The lurker of bad ends and professional hunter of outsiders.

That is who you are, you are strong and smart.

Nothing can defeat you!

Now the rest of the day is going to be simple.

First you find the Wriggle doll, then maybe a way to like resurrect it?

Wriggle comes back to life and everyone is happy yay!

Both of you go to Mystia's stand and forget the rest of this nonsense by getting drunk.

The witch is not invited to that and neither will Rin if he keeps acting like that.

Then all three of you can go look for your fairy friends in a fun team 9 adventure.

The finer details in-between will be figured out somehow, but shazam.

You are going to have a FUN adventure, and everything will turn out okay.

Now let's go!

Wait, you realized you could have said that Rin is halfbad.

Get it? oh that would have been a clever one. hehehe.

Ahem, let's go for realsies!

[ ] The domain of the Dollmaker, it's where the thing resided from right? maybe it's first victim has a clue.

[ ] The house of the Magician, it's where it died right? maybe there's a clue there if not confirmation of death.

[ ] The trials of the Knight, it was bleeding when it fled right? so even now you could track it down with smell.

You're going to visit both houses obviously, but everything needs a starting point.

[ ] Recover Sword Breaker, she belongs to you, and they just have to deal with it.
[ ] You no longer feel like having it, Rin sucked all the fun out of it.

[ ] Genuflect
[x] The house of the Magician, it's where it died right? maybe there's a clue there if not confirmation of death.
Make sure it's down for good.

[x] You no longer feel like having it, Rin sucked all the fun out of it.
We just wanted a good cudgel, damn it!
File 16336320207.jpg - (21.37KB, 480x360, A house more like No house.jpg) [iqdb]
You're ready to go and will in fact do so.

The going you mean, like going to the Witch house.

Wait, that's a useless statement.

Of course, you'd be going there, cause like where else would you find any clues? and if you didn't go there, you wouldn't say it cause you're not a liar.

Indeed, if someone says they go somewhere then they will go there.

You truly are a mighty hunter, and a mighty thinker. your brain pot is boiling the good idea juices.

Speaking of pots, you got to warm up the soup.

You rub your arms and feet to warm up.

Followed by a small hop up and down to get your bearings.

Then you end it with a flip and voila! you're in the air.

Gravity defeated, Kaboom! The world explodes as your coolness is of the charts.

But enough fooling around, you fly off into the woods.

You cover yourself inside your veil of shadows since you don't need to see where you're going.

The forest is a part of you, it's like exploring the back of your hand. Okay that'd be one hell of a hand though since the forest is freaky on its own.
From the chemical smell of the mushroom covered depths deeper inside, to the warm rocks and smooth grass off the outer layers.

Cheeky fairies chilling inside tiny houses up on trees planning for mischief, animal youkai's sleeping in caves and the great outdoors simply trying to live day to day.

You've seen all of it; you've met all of them. You are the closest thing to a landlord this place has...no, that title would belong to someone else.

Let's hope you'll never meet the Elders; those old coots don't need to know how you were involved in this.

Then again, the odds of that are super low since they live DEEP into the forest. like deep to the point that most youkai avoid it since the deeper you go the darker and more...not fun the place becomes.

Anyway, after smashing through only two trees this time, you make it!

The ruins of Marisa's domain lie before you, and uuuh wow.

Those are some big craters.

The ground is covered in like several cr-Imagine a cake, and now jab the cake with several long needles in a perfect motion from above.

No, that doesn't work here. it's like there are holes in the ground, BIG holes in the ground that are all perfectly round shaped. They're all filled with water.

You taste it, it's rainwater. Someone made it rain to put out the fire. Or a bunch of rain fairies did.

All the dirt and grass next to them have been disintegrated, sure there is classic proof of has been fire but the whole deal looks so clean.

Guess the heat of the boom made stuff go flame flame then? anyway her house has been blasted out of existence.

Can't wait to see how she'll react to the sight once she comes back.

But now is Investigation time! go go detective Rumba!

You get closer to the house; it is still gone.

Why? because it got blown up.

How? cause stuff went boom boom.

You praise your own memory, if stuff is this easy then the rest will be figured out in no time!

You look and walk towards the spot where you almost...you know.

The ground has been rayed apart by a nasty beam. the burn marks around it is non-existent as well and all the trees and rocks in the path are gone for miles.

Why? Cause someone shot out a powerful magic beam at someone else.

Who? Marisa shot the fanon, who else?

You think it's dead, no one could survive a Master Spark with murderous intent behind it.

Anything like blood or body parts have been disintegrated, burned down, or washed away by the rain.

So yeah, Fanon is dead, and Wriggle has been avenged.

…You don't feel that better, the Knight thing had the same smell and colour of blood as that thing.

Could there more of that freak lurking around? it didn't mention anything like that but why would it.

What's a master supposed to be anyway? does that mean there are like normal things of it around?

Like the master is the queen bee? there's no point in wild mass guessing.

Also, the voices haven't spoken to you for quite some time now, did you get fired from Anon hunting or something?

Not like that really matters, but you feel like you only got more questions from this. Not the satisfaction of like a revenge fulfilled.

Ugh, this whole thing suuuuuuuuuuucks! but anyway where are the other youkais?

Surely the crime scene would be overflowing with curious fair-"Over there!" a small female voice says.

Suddenly, from every bush, hole in the ground and leaf comes out a little girl, some dressed in leaves with green hair, others wearing clothes that are blue like water and yada yada yada.

It's a bunch of forest and rain fairies, all pointing their fingers at you. "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL BUM!" they all shout.

Did you jinx yourself? You totally did. Just because you forgot one fact: just you can't see a fairy doesn't mean they're not there. they're always everywhere

Cause there is a fairy for everything. "We fight for the sake of everyone's hopes and dreams!" and all of them will mess you up.

If you're the dumbest and weakest of things. "What's this all about?" you ask them with some mild uninterest.

"I don't know!" one leaf fairy says, "We fight for justice!" another flower fairy says. "To find and defeat the evil pie romancer!" the last rain fairy says helpfully, there are more responses but those were the most useful.

The heck is a pie romancer? is this some other game the fairies are playing. "Can you say more about that?"

She becomes more energetic because you paid her attention "Of course! we are the ones that wil-"

"Shut up!" a slightly taller fairy with blond hair slaps the back of rain one's head "Don't tell her anything! she might be an enemy spoiy!" and looks at you with suspicion. "Look she's wearing a red thing! fire is red too! that means she can set things on fire with her fire eye lasers!"

The crowd gaps in shocks, and they start to mutter amongst themselves "So fast already?”; "We found the final boss!”; "But she looks weak..." okay they're just being rude now.

You don't have time to waste "I'll just be going then..." and you move to walk away.

And are met with a barrage a laser and spread shots that don't hit you. "Don't move!”; “Freeze potato!" darnit.

The blond-haired girl separates from the crowd and approaches you "So Pie romancer, did you think you could just burn the forest and get away with it? YOU DON'T MESS WITH FAIRIES YO!"

You must hold in a laugh, the fairy is trying to be intimidating but just she looks adorable. Her glare is more like the view of a grumpy puppy pouting.

Though on one hand, how did you not notice them? fairies aren't exactly sneaky. even when they're out of sight they've got no indoor voices and laugh as often as birds chirp.

"Don't ignore me! stopping the fire wasn't easy! and our homes are gone too now. What are you gonna do about that huh? are you going to rebuild all of them or get the Super Justice Fairy Friends League and something something on your butt huh?" then she looks back at her friends to hype them up "Are we going to let her get scout-free! “?”

"NO!" they all shout back, falling for it.

"What do we want!?"

"JUSTICE!" they all shout "CANDY!" another one shouts, “CANDY JUSTICE!" liking the idea the others all mix the idea.

"That's right!" the blond one continues anyway "But the pie man burned our houses down! and you can't have candy when you don't have a place to put it in! all the candy is gone FOREVER!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" all the fairies cry out in pure agony, some of them even crying. "That's NOT FAIR! that's NOT FAIR!" they repeat in chant.

Huh, who knew they were so good at organizing mass whining's? "Apple is dead! she didn't wake up and just went poof!" What a tragedy

You tune out the rest since they just keep at it, having change focused again to whine about what they supposedly lost. "But I'm right here!" What a miracle

...Okay, you must get out of this somehow. the longer you stay here the more brain cells you feel like you're losing.

You can't be the culprit! you are sure you'd remember burning down a forest!

So now let's get out of this!

Prove your innocence!

[ ] You're a fairy too! fairies don't burn down fairy houses! (lie)
[ ] Just because you wear red that doesn't mean you can use fire. (Truth)
[ ] Where were YOU when the fire happened huh? (Accuse the accuser)
[ ] Another way to convince a bunch of angry little girls.

Just get out!

[ ] Fly away, literally you can just fly away. (Go where?)
[ ] Wait for Marisa and blame her instead let her draw the aggro.
[ ] Just shoot them all down.

[ ] Dance the dance of friendshipness.
[x] Another way to convince a bunch of angry little girls.
What, you didn't see the monsters wandering the forest? The scary fake magician or the red knight?
[x] Fly away, literally you can just fly away
Harukei shrine

A large group of angry looking fairies flying toward it would definitely be good target practice for a certain grumpy red wearing Miko.
You know what?

I love both of those votes a lot, one is exactly the kind of question I hoped for and the second gives another opportunity as well.

I'll do both, but don't have the time to do so now right now. (Literally like 10 pm here)

But I'm not breaking my update ratio so have another ConAgent update and the real updates tomorrow.
File 163372330865.jpg - (72.88KB, 640x480, Agent69ontherun.jpg) [iqdb]
Communicator Entertainment Program Ruukoto:

"ConAgent 6.9 (Six-point-nine)" Episode 4! <In the previous episode....> 6.9, the ConAgent finally succeeds in infiltrating the nefarious junk factory of J.O.E. Corporation with the help of Karen, a woman from her past.

But what awaits her inside the nest of conspiracies!?

Keep sharp, Six-point-nine!

https://youtu.be/gNhEpMB3VI0 (Descent into the Factory Depths)

The factory was far bigger than one could believe from the inside, corridors adorned with blue pipes covering the walls where everywhere the eye could see, was it water coursing through them or something else?

Karen: Over here, Six-point-nine. (Our hero is led to the path the private staff use, straight corridors with nothing special in them, the odds of being caught here are almost nill. A very convenient way of transport!)

69: I owe you one, Kaz.

Karen: So why are you so interested in this factory?

69: Can't tell you. Classified information.

Karen: All right, then I have something else to ask you. Why did you buy me that thing way back when?

69: What thing?

Karen: You don't remember? The 'ErotoRope --'

69: Wait ...I'll talk. Classified schmassified!

420: What rope, Six?

69: Nothing!

Karen: So, what's the dirt on this plant?

69: You know that J.O.E. execs have been showing up a lot recently.

Karen: ...Yes, come to think of it, I've seen a lot of bad business suits around here.

69: Why would the suits show up in the 'Bod Bed' factory? I think the 'Bod Bed' is nothing more than camouflage!

Karen: What?

69:There must be something important going on here.

??: Ha-ha! Good thinking!

69: Who's there!?

??: Over here. Welcome to J.O.E.'s junk factory. (A cloaked figure jumps from the ceiling and lands in front of our hero)

69: You shouldn't talk about family that way.

??: Sorry, but it's staff only from this point on. You'll have to deal with me now.

Schnick! (An extra arm comes out of their back)


69: God! Is that J.O.E.'s 'Interpersonal Itchy Skratch'?

Karen: You mean....!? That back scratcher designed to scratch other people's itch as well as your own!?

69: Yes. To think it was on the market already....

Karen: But if you need to scratch someone's back, why don't you just use your hands....

??: Ha-ha! Did you think this was a regular 'Interpersonal Itchy Scratcher'? Think again!

Schni-Schnick! (Three more arms come out, the enemy has six of them now and they keep coming!)

Karen: Oh God! The handle extended! (That too!)

??: This is the 'Turbo Interpersonal Itchy Skratch for long distance back scratching!

420: What!? Can it be the ultimate back scratcher to reach all itches!?

Karen: Why can't you just do it with your hands!?

??: Silence! Take this! Once you've tasted the effect of this product you'll become another one of our consumers! become addicted to the heaven that is J.O.E!!

69: Kaz! Get down!



??: How could this happen? Why can't I scratch your backs!?

69: We're lying on our backs.

??: What!?

69: Since we're both lying on our backs, not even the 'Turbo Interpersonal Itchy Skratch' can get to them.

??: ....

??: You win. Go on.... (They let the heroes pass and leave in disgust) I'm just an unpaid intern anyway.

Karen: Good job, Six-point-nine!

69: Let's get going. Show me where the suits are hanging out.

Karen: You got it!



Ruukoto: To be continued.

With that, I bid ya'll goodnight.
File 163379478130.jpg - (319.62KB, 900x1145, Strategic Retreat.jpg) [iqdb]
Hold on a moment.

"Just a second!" you shout at the fairies "Hey pals and gals! I know who Pie is!"

This is an opportunity.

The crowd stops crying and sniffles as they all look at you with mistrust. "B-but you're the on-"

If they are everywhere...

"Hold it!" You smash the nearby tree to silence them "Isn't it obvious? the real enemy are the anons!"

And surely, they should have seen some of them! so, they could have valid info!

It's interrogation time!

Fairy friends or whatever they call themselves all look at you with confusion

"Who's that?" says a leaf fairy with curiosity "Can it be pranked?"

"What's an Anon?" says a rain fairy confused by the term. "Is it yummy?"

"Is she trying to trick us?" another flower fairy says sceptically "She totally is!"

"Wait you don't know?" no that can't be right, there is no way "Come on, try to remember! hasn't any of you seen a scary puppeteer yesterday or a knight in red armour?"

Again, they look at you and murmur amongst themselves "I saw nothing like that”; "Uuh, I don't know why I'm even here”; "Oh I know! there's a bunch of em at the radio tower!"

That doesn't hel-"I saw everything!" the blond one says again and wanders into your darkness "I know everything that happened, and you will pay!"

Wait then how did she know you've got r-Oh the saw is pointing out of the sphere and now she's holding onto the edges as a way of travel "Almost there! you cannot hid-aaah!"

Then she trips on seemingly nothing and smashes her head against your shoe. "Uwaa.."

But fairies can f-Ignore the nonsense, you remove the darkness and pick the girl up by the neck "Are you okay?"

"Put me down! don't you know who I am!" the girl tries to play brave, but you can feel her body tremble.

Fear is the appropriate response, but on a closer look "Now that you say that..."

You remove the darkness to get a better look.

The girl DOES look familiar. Red eyes and yellow hair, arranged into those weird curly drill things.
A pair of wings on her back and she wears a black and white dress, and the iconic white Beret as a hat.

"We have met before, haven't we?" and you let go and do a pose “Look, it's a me. Rumia!"

"I already know that!" she backs away and flies up to your head level. "And we both know that YOU are the culprit" and there's actual venom in her voice now.

"Of what exactly?" You wish there was a way to fast forward conversations.

"Of being the pie romancer?" Lu-lu uh what was her name turns around and starts a speech to her brethren "Everyone, look at her. This is the girl that burned down our houses, blew up Marisa's house and took her life!"

"She's not dead" you interrupt, not liking the direction where this is going "And the other tw-"

"What?" the fairy grabs and shakes your modest little tie "Is that true?! don't you dare lie to us! I saw you loom over her dead body!!"

"...She's been with me all day, should be coming here now to-you know what? why don't we uh redo this conversation?"

"Redo? what do you mean?"

"'I mean, like stuff is getting confusing now. Like what do you think I did and all that gizmo"

"Oh sure" Loo? gives the other fairies a hand signal and they all sit down. "You sit too!"

You go ahead and sit cross-legged

"Okay so" the girl rubs her chin "We are going to su-summerice your crimes, okay? and you can uh prove your innocence and if you're not then we beat you up"

You nod, wanting this over with. "Hurry up"

She starts the Storytime "So I Luna Child, wanted to go borrow some coffee from Marisa since mine ran out. So, I went to the Forest to visit her since she lives here"

"Skip to the good part"

Long story cut short: She went to visit Marisa to get some coffee, saw you throw the witch out of her own house and fight some dolls of the puppeteer. Got scared and ran away the moment the house started to have mass explosions.
Went to the Shrine to warn Reimu about it but she didn't believe it. Then she got an interview out of Aya who was visiting the shrine and went back with her to the woods only to find it on fire! Worked together with some other fairies and the help of Aya and forest residents to put the fires out. Then spend the rest of the day amassing a group for back time against the culprit which she believes to be you.

Naturally, you defend your own honour "Did you not notice the fact I was fighting a giant Alice & Wriggle fused atrocity? it's all the fault of Anon! In fact, you should be thanking me" and you go on about your oh so wondrous adventure.

The fairies listen to the story like someone's reading them a storybook, Luna Child stays silent the whole time but speaks once you're done "...So to summarize: A voice told you to go murder some outsiders, so you did. then you robbed Marisa's house and got a talking chainsaw and then you defeated some Fanon Master? that has the abilities of both Alice and Wriggle all on your own? Finally, you now have a chainsaw hand too?"

You point at your swollen arm of a thing "Got the proof too" you're glad that has been concluded.

She scoffs "I don't believe you. if you want to fool fairies then you have to come up with a better scenario" the others nod at her word too.

Your response is a flat "What" in disbelief "But I'm not lying!"

"Suuuure, you know what I think? I think you're either lying or bonkers: there's a bigger chance of that than that you're speaking the truth. There's NO WAY you could win against something like that and besides Alice has a whole bunch of freaky dolls anyway, right? We haven't seen anything like the things you described and tell me who would you believe: One single youkai or every fairy in the forest?"

A fairy tries to say something "Uh actuall-" only to get shushed by the others, speaking of which the whole group of fairies has used the opportunity to surround you.

...You know what? screw them if they don't believe you then that's their problem. "I doubt Wriggle's dead too" and you punch the fairy in the face turning her to dust.

After that things escalated quickly, all the fairies went to the offensive, but before they could shoot you down you were already flying away.

At least for a while everything was fine, you could easily dodge their shots and outpace them as they chased after you.

But their numbers started to get bigger, fairies who saw the fuss wanted to join in on the fun and slowly but surely.

"Catch the villain! don't let her escape!"

You were flying away from a fairy army; the dozens were now hundreds, and the hundreds became legion.

A fairy or ten is no threat at all, a dozen is an annoyance but a hundred....


Now that's an actual threat.

Not because they're strong united. AS IF

"In the name of justice and love and all that is fun!"

But by the time you shoot down five, another ten respawn.

You try to flee deeper in the woods, more fairies join and make you go elsewhere.

"Stop being so fast! we'll catch you eventually!"

You try to go back to Kourindou but then you'd have to face the army.

Why is this day getting worse?

"We don't die! we don't forget! we are your DOOOM!"

Finally, you've set your course straight to the Hakurei Shrine.

Why is that? simple, there's only one person who can take down an army.

It's the demon Miko, Hakurei Reimu. Surely, she'll save you!

You look back for a short second, yup that is indeed a entire landscape filled with bullets. It's so cluttered you can't even see the fairies behind it.

"For our power comes from the friends we made along the way. Together the fairy friends will overcome the darkness!"

It hurts your eyes, so you look back in front and see another dozens of fairies coming your way from the front.

"Don't think you'll get away that easy!" Luna Child respawned and is doing a pincer attack towards you with only a dozen of other fairies.

And all of them activate spell cards, so many balls and lasers of different colours cover your vision.

You can't dodge that, there's no way you could.

So, you don't.

"Nah" you drop your flight to dodge the barrage, roll down the ground and start dashing up the Shrine's stairs like a lunatic!

You hear some exclamations of anger right behind you but don't stop running as balls of energy graze your surroundings.

Whoever made stairs should be pushed down a set of them, there are way too many and you can barely see the top now.

A laser hits you straight in the legs and you fall, only to remember you can fly and you use that last push to JUMP!

With a final struggle you plop face to the ground and made it to the top! you made it to the Hakurei Shrine!

That little rundown building, that cold stone pavement wait you don't have time for descriptions!

You get up and exhale. The fairies are making it to the entrance, but you've got a little bit of time left!

Where do you go?

[ ] The main building of course, she must be in there!
[ ] Hide in the donation box, they'll never find you!
[ ] Stand your ground, are you not Rumia?
[ ] Why is there a hole under the building? dive in!
[x] The main building of course, she must be in there!
Reimu likes her nonsense as direct as possible, so we'll be just that!
File 163389721094.png - (628.07KB, 1022x1290, Oh its you again.png) [iqdb]
Of course! people live inside buildings and buildings live to be lived in!

But why though? Why surround yourself with walls when the world is your oxster?

What are you going to do in such a small place?

Just hang out with your stuff? That’s weird.

Honestly caves work just fine, at least when the wolves aren’t around.

But enough philosophy, you can nurture your rich soul later.

You rush towards the entrance, enter the premise, and sneakily slam the door shut!

Now to hope Fairies can't open doors, or at least not not fairy sized doors.

Is that the right word though? Something that is not is something that is not so something that is not not is the opposite of something right? A double negative makes a positive. Yeah it works.

Anyway, now inside the entrance, you remove your shoes an-hold on a moment...

The floors and walls usually tainted with dust are sparkly clean, the wood and pots left in disarray are neatly stacked in separate corners of the put-down-your-shoes-here-or-I-will-kick-you-out room, an incense reeking of an unknown yet gentle stench emanates throughout the place and a red carpet lies in front of the living room door invitingly.

The shrine is clean!

What's the occasion for? Reimu would never bother with this effort unless there was a reward for it, is she perhaps expecting someone? the thought makes you think for a moment. Should you go in or maybe come back la-

Sounds of flapping wings and speeches about friendship remind you why you're here, they're also knocking at the door and pushing instead of pulling. the fact they can't operate doors right won't stop them from breaking it down eventually.

You head into the room, and hold your nose as the smell becomes stronger

"Hellooooo, anyone there? I've got bad company outside!" you call out to anyone but get no response.

A thick smoke covers the living room, you can barely see through it.

You are about to call out again but are interrupted by a gentle voice "Welcome to the Shrine of Paradise, we awaited you"

Out of nowhere, candles lit and enlighten the path ahead. It leads to a wooden table and next to it lie three obscured figures. One's taller than the others, the one on the right has cat ears poking out and the middle one must be Reimu?

"Uuh, am I interrupting something?" you're not sure what to make out of this, you'd expect Reimu to laze around in a kotatsu and wave you away since she feels so comfy or to shoo you away since she's busy fake cleaning the place.

"Come closer traveller, come sit and we will see what fate has in store for you" again that gentle tone beckons you.

"Are you going to sell my organs?" you don't feel good about this. "Cause if you are then you have to tell me! that's the rules of nature. totally ha..."

"Told you this would freak people out" the Cat eared one says and sighs. "Stuff gives off massive shady vibes"

"Y-yeah, all this smoke is hurting my eyes too" the Tallest one joins in "Can't we open a window?"

The Alpha gives the table a firm knock to shut them up "Stay in character the both of you, we're doing this. I need the money, and this is the best way to get it"

"That harsh tone! it can only be Reimu!" Appeased, you dash over to give her a hi-bite, she loves those!

"No, don't approach me like that" She gets up and prepares to receive your embrace "Last warning, stop"

You don't stop and leap like a panther, aiming for her with a swift pounce "Good morning, Rei--guuah?"

But something hits your head, energy leaves your body and instead you crash into edge of the table and drop. "Owwwww..." you rub the spot in pain and find an ofuda stuck to it. "Reimu whyyyyyy?" you moan in sadness.

"I gave you a warning and you ignored it" Towering over you is the shrine maiden herself, dressed in her usual red clothes clothes with some weird brown cloak around her as well.

She’s got company too, on her left is some orange black Catgirl laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling in boredom.

And to the right is some Blue haired...hobo? pushing open some windows so the smoke can get out.

Neither of them look like they're having fun, but that's not your problem.

"Haa~ here I hoped for an actual customer but here you are" she scratches the back of her head and sits again. Some weird cards are lying on the table and she fiddles with them alongside some ball.

That tired look in her eyes, that stiff tone her voice lets out. You know what it means.

She's happy to see you! "Happy to see me too~" and you are happy again. “How are you doing?”

"So, what do you want?" She brushes off the attempt to make small talk "I'm busy so unless you're a customer, be quick about it"

She's right, let's get straight to the point.

[ ] Reimu, I need you! Lend me your body!
[ ] The fairies are attacking! they've united!
[ ] Fortune telling? sounds fun! consider me costumer
[ ] Sorry, I''ll leave you and your concubines be.
[x] Quickly, Reimu! The fairies are unionizing and the foreign anon agents are coming to shut all operations down!
File 163397952045.jpg - (36.04KB, 474x474, What do you mean by that.jpg) [iqdb]
“Quickly Reimu!” you slam the table with your fist and look at her with the most SEROUIS look you can give “The fairies are unionizing and the foreign anon agents are coming to shut all operations down!”

Her eyes stare back into yours unflinchingly, uncaring but one eyebrow does raise. And?

“They’ve united under one banner, that of friendship and love as they fight for one cause: to avenge the fallen Marisa who isn’t fallen at all and their burned down homes which isn’t my fault either”

“So how is that something I should be concerned with?” She asks with no fear whatsoever, she IS the hakurei after all.

“They’re right outside! The fairies I mean, they’re going to break into the shrine any minute now” you continue when you see she doesn’t understand the threat “Hundreds of fairies by the way, are you a bad enough girl to defeat them all?”

“Hmm” Reimu rubs her chin and looks at the ceiling “Why?” then tilts her head at you.

“Why what?” you ask to her asking.

“Why are they here then? This isn’t the forest” ands looks at the other two with doubt, they nod back. “This is the Hakurei Shrine, unless it somehow warped there they shouldn’t be here”

“Because they chased after me!” you tell her the truth “Please help me!” you are certain she will.

“No” she replies faster than lightning. “Leave and take them with you”

Then she kicks you out and the fairies kick you too but in a different way.

Bad end, go back x choices.

NOT! This battle of hearts has just begun! ( https://youtu.be/Dplt-8IydbQ )

You expected her to deny your request, girls like her are tough nut to crack after all!

You focus and remember your Rumia training: To the days you were younger and also Rumia.

You are trained in the art of tomfoolery. While others build houses you were being MOE~

When humans invented guns, you mastered the art of the PUPPER EYES

While maidens and witches waste away their days in drinking you cultivated INNER PEACE.

And now that the world is invaded by anon and fairies are at the gates, she has the audacity to refuse coming to your AID? PFAH!

As if you’d let that happen, foolish shrine maiden you have yet to witness TRUE POWER!

Money is worthless.
Bonds are temporary.
Morals are a joke.

All humans are pawns that deny their own true nature, from their darkness you were born and with said darkness you will manipulate her heart.

Prepare yourself Hakurei Maiden for my final move.

For there is no entity that can beat this move! From heavens to hell! From the most secret chambers to the most well-known plaza! From God to man and anything in between! ALL HAVE FALLEN TO IT!

“What if I say pretty, please?” POLITENESS OVERCOME!! Your Japanese ancestry will be your doom!

“No” The walls around her heart are impenetrable!

You recoil in shock, an intense pain stabs into your chest, such a frightening counterattack. She did not even flinch! “I-impossible, but how?” you cannot hide the surprise on your face. “Why do you throw me to the sharks?!”

The maiden shrugs with her shoulders “Less effort to give them what they want no?”

"Ughoo!" another dagger is added to your heart, you drop to one knee and breathe frantically.

The endeavour was futile all along, the girl has her own interest in mind first. Such a pure heart cannot be stopped, the light shines too brightly within her.

But the stronger the light, the larger the darkness! You can't give up! You WON'T give up!

You push aside the stuff from the table, walk on top of it and stare into her soul “Hakurei Maiden!”

“Get off my table” She takes out the rod “Tch, you've knocked away the cards”

You remove yourself from the table and give a small apology “Hakurei Maiden!”

“What?” and she sighs, annoyance facing root again “This has already been settled, shoo-shoo”

Settled? This was never settled! As long as you breathe failure will never be a part of you!

Will you accept this cruel reality? The bad end where you die by fairy mob?

NEVER! “Behold, the true power of the Abyss, the darkness through which no light shall shine!”

[ ] PUPPY EYES, the PERFECT move of cutesiness.
[ ] GENUFLECT, the ULTIMATE sign of submission.
[ ] FLASHBACK, stall for time by recounting the past.
[ ] Calm down and do something else.
[x] GENUFLECT, the ULTIMATE sign of submission.
We shall use our own submission to force the Hakurei into submission! Nothing can go wrong with this!
File 163407234569.jpg - (63.04KB, 650x562, Why are you genuflecting.jpg) [iqdb]
[x] GENUFLECT, the ULTIMATE sign of submission.
We shall use our own submission to force the Hakurei into submission! Nothing can go wrong with this!

To genuflect is to admit inferiority to someone else, to genuflect is to say that person is God, and you are the worm. It is shameful to do and is a gesture that evokes desperation by humankind. Pathetic.

But you are not human, and even if that still applies then so be it!

IF you must lick her shoes then so be it! Does she want a back rub? You’ll become a professional masseuse just for the occasion!


You will use GOD to defeat ANON! For you are RUMIA! The magical cannibal girl that will revive her friend and get her happy ending!

You get on your knees, lower your head, and GENUFLECT before the Hakurei Maiden with ULTIMATE SUBMISSION! “Hakurei Maiden! Do not abandon me I beg you! Your AID! your POWER! I NEED it!”

“W-What?” The shield cracks as her eyes widen and her mouth opens like a raindrop, she’s confused by the social manoeuvre!

You don’t give her the time to recover “My omnipotent maiden have mercy! The anons! The fairies! They are too powerful for me to handle! I need someone who’s strong and someone’s who’s fast and that person can only be you! Without you this world shall PERISH!” and make your head hit the floor three more times with religious ZEAL.

“Huh, another crazy one visits the shrine today” The catgirl gets up and starts eating a rice ball. “This ought to be fun to hear but what’s an anon?” and munches on it cause that’s how you consume food.

“….” The not a catgirl nor Reimu girl looks at you in silence, her gaze on your back feels like it’s trying to dig into your very soul.

At least you think they do, since your head is on the ground.

Regardless they are all impressed by your amazing willpower, a person who’s willing to stoop to the lowest level to accomplish their goal is something to be feared and respected! You are the mighty worm!

The Shrine Maiden stands up and approaches you “Get up” her voice once calm and uncaring now hot and embarrassed “You’re just being noisy. Fairies and A-whatever’s aren’t my- “Her guard is still on!

My, she has one powerful mental guard. The maiden must be used to the ways of many shapeshifters and masters of deceit, one cannot lie or bluff against her without her famous intuition ringing.

Which is why you have no choice but to use the FINAL technique you have: APPEAL TO MORALITY!
“I'm pleading with you! I'm begging with you to do the right thing. And do it not for the sake of how it will impact your own lives, but only for the sake of doing the right thing. IF you don’t act while the honey pot is moist and warm then the bees will come and sting us all!”

The Maiden hums in thought as she pokes your head “Even if you say that, preventing incidents isn’t my job. It’s stopping them, besides it’s a Sunday and that’s a rest day so sitting back and relaxing is the right thing to do this right day” She counters you with hard facts and logic “So it can’t be helped~ now get out and go enjoy your youth too!” She ends it with an encouraging shout, but the feeling isn’t behind it.

Wait that’s it! Your words lack feeling! You need to use the emotions sealed deep inside your heart if you wish to move hers!

You focus what has happened before, the face of your hated foe, the memory of its sadistic voice, the pain and sensation of loss it has inflicted on you. All the memories are giving you heartburn!

What if you had lost to it? Would your adventure have ended right then and there? what if you hadn’t gone to Marisa’s house? Would Wriggle still be-Ah yes, that’s the right sensation! That’s Despair!

Now focus on it! Think of all the things you’ll never get to do with her again! Think of a possible future in which other anons take your other friends! Think of an ending in which you lose to anon!

This FEELING! this PAIN! this DETERMINATION to never lose again! it fills your DARK SOUL with LIGHT!

You smash the floor with your head repeatedly and shout out the most pathetic words you can think off like Curtain Fire, take this Maiden!

“I'm praying to you! I can’t lose! I can’t lose... against the forces of anon, or I’ll never see my friends again! Will not give up, OR I’LL NEVER SEE MY FRIENDS AGAIN! Or I’ll never see my friends again! I can't... I can't... I CAN’T LOSE AGAINST THE FORCES OF ANON!... or I’ll never see my friends again. I can't... lose! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! Join my party! Look in your heart! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! Join my party! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart... I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! Join my party! I'm praying to you... look in your heart... look in your heart! You can't kill me... look in your heart…” oddly enough you feel more and more exhausted with each word, which is the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve.

The Hakurei is deadly quiet, not a peep can be heard from her.

But even so you co-you feel hands on your shoulders forcing you to stop!


You move your head up to look at Reimu without coming off as smug.

A pretty face with long unkempt blue hair is what you see instead “Your misfortune is genuine” the voice is friendly but has an edge around it “I don’t want to get involved, this should be someone else’s problem is what you’re thinking right? You really are a selfish person…”
You’re not sure if she’s mocking you or not.

“Eeeeh? that sounds like a real bad deal to me! So, an army is coming?” on the other hand the catgirl is overwhelmed with curiosity “Tell us more!” and seems stuck between feeling excited or spooked. Nah it's morbid curiosity, the same reason why people tell scary stories and stuff or ugh you're no mental speaker.

“Even so, I can’t help but admire your feelings” the pale girl continues as she ruffles your hair “True poverty comes from losing something that’s truly dear to you, and having experienced it yourself only motivates you to make sure it won’t happen again, doesn’t it?” You don’t like her eerie smile
“Aaah~ it reminds me of my past self. How brave and naïve I was to hope things could get better, how no matter what hit me I just kept going on stubbornly refusing to give up until eventually I lost too much and became unable to care at all” You don’t like her pale white arms either.
“Except I got better, after my encounter with Reimu my motivation came back and after meeting Tenshi I finally got a friend again”

“W-what are you on about?” She’s acting overly nostalgic and weird in your pure and honest opinion “Why are you saying all that?”

“I’m saying that I want to see that moment again, that point in life where hope turns to despair only for it to become hope once again. I want to see your struggles; your torment and the moment you snap alongside the moment you stand up again. That one special moment!” Her face is beaming with passion, it’s almost like she’s on fire.

“Y-you’re freaking me out...” which shouldn’t be possible
You’re starting to think you shouldn’t get involved with her.
“You’re REALLY freaking me out...” you repeat just for emphasis.

“Oh?” She tilts her head in confusion “Oh!” and let’s go of you immediately with an awkward grin “Sorry, that’s my bad. What I’m trying to say is that you’ve gained my interest and that I want to join your adventure against these forces you’re talking about” then she pauses for a second and does a posture.

Poverty God Shion Yorigami joins the party! Dun dun doo doo dun dee dun? Was that the sound?” she added some sound effects for some reason.

You look blankly at her again “What?” it’s like your brain decided to go on break just this instant, did you run out of fun juice?

She gets the fact that you don’t get her “But that was a reference to dragon quest, it’s famous everywhere” and she waits for you.

“There’s no such thing? Don’t lie to me, dragons aren’t real” you feel patronized “Not today” and finally get up. Out of your element.

A silence fills the roo- “Nice chat you both had, but Reimu just left the room” The cat butts in with a wave “Just so you know~” and walks towards a window, then looks back at you two “ so uh let's bail gals”.

Now you look at her blankly “What?”

The Cat looks at you as if it couldn’t be any more obvious what she is planning to do “The cat is off the table, so the mice’s get out?”

You still don’t get it.

“I’m saying we bail while she’s distracted, it’s now or never!” Oh, so she really doesn’t want to be here. She’s already going through it.

Shion or what was her name is just standing there doing all fascinated by her own nails. You guess it’s cause of the talk earlier?

How are dragons even related to nails? Do they wax on or off?

You feel like you’re confused, or maybe that was part of the ruse all along? You’re so skilled you managed to bamboozle yourself too!

Pat on your back done, it’s time for another decision.

[x] You’re staying in this room; it’d be rude to just leave.
[x] Out the window and into uuuh back to the forest?
[x] To the entrance! Fairies await and you have a g-wait

Are you going to let her tag along?
[x] …Sure, she seems nice enough?
[x] Sorry but no, she makes you uncomfortable.
[x] Out the window and into uuuh back to the forest?
[x] …Sure, she seems nice enough?
Very nice indeed.
[x] Out the window and into uuuh back to the forest?
[x] …Sure, she seems nice enough.
File 163414915636.jpg - (264.06KB, 900x1270, Companion get and bad luck increased .jpg) [iqdb]
You look at the window.

The one the cat went through.

And who’s run off without waiting for you.

Why is she running away anyway? Did she get recruited against her will or something? If so then running is useless for the red white will just find you again, she does not track, she does not chase.

She simply appears at the best location, at the best time to give you a bad time.
Not only that but she’s the most powerful person in the land, so no friend or family can protect you against her. There is no shame in admitting that she’s the top dog.
But you don’t have shame anyway, at least not after that whole genuflecting. Truly the primal powers stirring within you are pleased! Fear the one who knows when to bow!

Wait, you were trying to sound cool. Damnation the moment has kerfuffled!
Flexing your own vocabulary aside, you’ve still got a creep to deal with. The Pale One.

“Is there something on my face?” the eponymous person says noticing your stare. Her hands go to remove some dust from her hair and her clothes “There, that should do it”.

She literally said she wanted to you see suffer, which is very off-putting and rude. Not to forget that she looks like she belongs in that story with the girl and the matches. The Pale One is officially creepy.

That’s a nice title though: The Pale One.

Makes you think of a monster.

The Pale One has the appearance of a beautiful young girl, those who are charmed by it follow it into the mist and are never seen again by their relatives. Their final fate completely unknown wooooo~

You wave your arms around in demonstration, woo you're walking into the mist of death~

Turn again!
And a final Woo~ to end it all!

Then you land on your back as the world keeps turning. "I am dead!" That was fun!

The Pale one doesn’t clap or boo at you but doesn’t seem sure what to say and ignores it.

“Are we waiting for Reimu? Her money plan isn’t going to work without Mike anyway so we might as well just go before she gets mad” she seems to be getting impatient “I want to see an anon!” or excited for adventure.

That’s a good suggestion, sadly it didn’t come from your own mind, so you ignore it. “Is that so?”

The Pa-wait she has an name doesn't she? you're just being rude now! you are a bad girl!

Besides you know what? isn’t creepy a good thing? With her company you will shine in a brighter light in comparison, and she could have powers that might be very useful to you...wait that's rude too!

You need to work on your manners young lady.

You grab her hand and shake it with a smile “Welcome to the party! Should have said that earlier but I forgot hee-hee~ don’t smite me pretty please”

She gives a that eerie smile back “Thanks! I’ve only fought a few times but when it comes to travel no god has walked through trash more than me!” pause “Wait, I meant no god has…I’m good at surviving the worst conditions so don’t go easy on me!” She declares boldly.

Not sure what that means “But I like taking it easy? I don’t know…going above easy sounds like a pain…”

“No, I meant that as “Don’t let me slow you down”. To show my resolve and all” She explains.

You cock your head “But if you’re slow then we can just walk, why the sudden haste?” and rub your chin in thought, you're not going to dump someone cause they walk faster than you walk yet slower than you run. "It’s not like there’s a time limit" You are merciful.

“No, no that was a way of speaking. I didn’t mean it literally” Ah, that's embarrassing.

“Oh Okay…Whoopsie!” You save the situation!

“Whoopsie?” Never mind, it backfired.

“It’s something you say to avoid awkward silence. It’s my secret technique so don’t tell anyone about it okieday?” You try to turn into a moment to deepen one's bond instead. secrets shared are friends made.

“But if you say it then people will have heard you, and then it’s no longer secret” Stop ruining this.

“That’s the secret! you’ll never know what’s secret behind it, and it’ll stay in your head FOREVER” You fire back.

“And now it’s no longer secret, because you told me the secret” Oh come oooon.

“No, I-I…. I don’t like these mind games you’re playing on me…” you rub your head “So from now on, thinking is banned in this group!” and declare your new party rule. That should prevent future cases. Nipped in the bud!

“I object to that; people think all the time. You can’t not think” Why is she still talking?

“Then think with moderation, I don’t want junkies in my party” You have standards.

“But people think ALL the time, even you’re thinking right now” Stop outsmarting me.

“Fine but stop doing that pointing thing out thing. It makes me look stupid and I am SMART” You command.

“I object to that too, I’m not a yes woman” her enthusiasm lowers a bit, you’re not sure why.

Great, that's another companion who refuses to obey your every command.

Do you lack charisma or something? or do you need to earn their respect first? Such a pain!

“Nnnn! Just drop the subject already” You walk to the window like a mature person, not pouting.

If this becomes a trend then you might end up losing your boss status, a coup d'état and bam you're the beta now.

That'd be terrible, they'd all head pat you and reduce you to the cute sidekick role. That must not happen!

Okay, the girl’s got an attitude. But she seems sharp and willing to help. As in she’s not doing it to mock you with her superior intellect because she can count above 100 and divide by pies hur hur.

So, you’ll take what you can get, the more pals the better after all. Isn’t there a saying for that?

Yes! It’s just like they say: Do not look like the gift horse in the mouth.

Because that is not a horse. Look at the twin drill on its head and it’s odd, coloured fur.
That is a black and white twin horned murder pony.

Those will bite of all your fingers like they’re wet spaghetti noodles for no reason other than the fact that they can do so.

Years of being hunted has put the gene of extreme pre-emptive violence in their blood.

It's a very effective strategy too since no one messes with them now.

Because no one messes with crazy, have you ever fought a man wielding a lance? Okay but have you ever fought a screaming half naked man wielding a lance with dog dodoo at the end of it?

The latter has far higher survival odds in the wilds, nature is funky like that.

Oh, but the horse isn’t satisfied with just maiming you, it is out for blood.

Because while you scream it will pin you down, approach your juicy bottom and do to you the very same thing that’s making the family dog cry itself to sleep at night ever since your 700-year-old kappa cousin visited.

That metaphor went nowhere actually, you don’t have cousins and you made that up. But if you were to spread the idea of the murder pony to enough people then eventually it would start to exist. cause that's how youkais are born right? You're not sure.

Though you’d have to add some rules and variations to make it seem realish right? Like uuh:
If it has no horns, then it can be tamed.
If it has one horn, run, or be impaled.
If it has two horns then take out your weapon, aim steady and slice off your own neck before the demon horse closes the distance, grapples you with it's muscular arms and leads you to water so it can reverse baptize you.

It smiled at you when the Hakurei blew its brain away…Based on a true story for extra sympathy and publicity.

The title: Horses and their Horrendous Horrors
Subtitle: Not Horsing around anymore.

Man, you should really write a book. It’d be the best book, and everyone would read it!

But you won’t do it, it takes too much time and effort. You’d rather laze around.

Perhaps in another world, people get to enjoy it. And that's all that matters.

Enough charity, it is time for adventure! You rush at the window and leap!

You go through it perfectly and end it with a roll so you can stand up.

The crowd claps and your shades shine against the sun with a cool shine as a guitar plays in the background OOOH YEAAAH!

That’d be nice, but instead your knees hit part of the wall, your body flips around, and you end up on the other side flat on your back. “Owww” it doesn’t hurt at all. You’re not WEAK.

“Hey, are you doing, okay?” Pale Girl climbs through it with no effort, and then walks straight into a puddle giving her shoes that unpleasant feeling of disgust. “Ugh. Here we go again” wait she doesn’t have any! The shoes you mean. “Can you not get up?” she pokes your rib, and you squirm. Knowing that you’re alive she lets out a sigh and helps you get up. Quite nice of her. “Let’s go then, where do we go anyway?”

You think about your next destination while looking do-OH HOLD ON A MOMENT!

You see your feet, they’ve got feet thumbs. But where are the shoes on them?!

Did someone take them while you were talking? That makes no sense, you’re certain you’d feel it if someone did that! Such a technique, such grace…this must be the work of a master thief!

And you know only one professional thief in this whole land!

That witch stole your shoes! She knew your style was the better one and got jealous! It’s the only explanation! You must get them back!

You add said resolution to the pile of stuff you must do inside your brain safe.

Off course you'll do them all! Maybe, if you feel like it. Probably two at the minimum.

“Let’s go comrades! Adventure awaits!” It is time to go go go!

"Go, team something~" Oh you've only got one right now. "I still don't know your name"

"Rumia, Youkai of Dusk. But you can call me Boss, Senpai or even Bigger Boss"

"I'm never saying that, that sounds too embarrassing"

"What's your name anyway?"

"Shion Yorigami, I've said it before though. Did you forget?"


"That hurts my feelings"

"I apologize"

"Then I forgive you"

"Cool, now let's a go go go!"

You are on some Veranda of the Hakurei Shrine, the window behind you leads back inside and if you go to the left then you can go to the Entrance. To the right lie the famous cherry trees of the Shrine and in front of you lies a small cliff side followed by a sea of green grass and trees heading out to the great majestic wild.

So where shall you go?

[] You can hear some battle noises and danmaku coming from the Entrance, why is that?

[] Enough exploring! Anon awaits and you must find them. To the Forest again!
- [] But first a pitch stop at Kourindou, both of you need SHOES.
- [] To the house of the Dollmaker!
- [] Real youkai wander around the forest without a care in the world.
[ ] Hold on, where did the kitty cat go? Does it really matter?

[] Follow a professional writing career.
Time to throw the funny rock

Rolling 1d5 => 5

The odds of that, fine I'll write it.

Give me 40 mins or so.
File 163424384664.png - (72.14KB, 258x326, Thats a good idea.png) [iqdb]
Hold on a moment.

Why bother going through all this anyway?

There’s no point in doing this, cause if it was the maiden would already be solving it right?

Everyone is good at doing something right?

And she and the witch are the BEST at solving things like these.

So why not let the pros handle this and just relax?

Yeah, you’re just a nobody. Someone who happened to be at the wrong moment at the wrong time maybe. There’s really no reason to do this so let’s lay back and enjoy the rest of your life peacefully.

OR maybe actually write a book for realsies. You've got time to waste.

But what would it be about?

You think about a few concepts but get nothing.

Hmmm, “Hey Shion, what would make a good story?” you ask your companion.

“Where did that come from?” your companion replies as she kicks a rock in boredom.

“Just answer”

“Hmm, why not write about the anons?”

“Better than nothing I guess” you shrug, that doesn’t have the spark in it “Still thanks” you try to be nice.

"You're welcome"

How do other people write down stories anyway? Do they pick up a paper and pen and just write whatever until the words start making sense? The art of writing might not be little girl friendly…

As if you’d think that! Of course, everyone will think your book is the best!

And by everyone you mean EVERYONE, every person in Gensokyo will know about you and the an-

…. Wait

That’s it! That’s the way to victory!

If you write a story about the anon then everyone will know about them!

And when you know something you can not get hurt by it!

If someone knows drinking hot sauce is bad for the health then no one will drink it!

So if everyone knows anons are bad people then they’’ll all be kicked out forever!

You’d have saved the world with minimal effort!
The anons defeated by the pen and your genius flee and never return!
And you enjoy the massive afterparty!

That's right, all ends well that should be well.

Now let's do it!

You'll defeat anon with the power of writing!

“Sometimes, my genius scares me” you look at the horizon, the day has yet begun so if the newspaper was right then there can’t be that many. “But now I know what I must do Shion” A cool breeze passes through making your imaginary scarf float awesomely. “I shall write…for everlasting peace!” and you fly off with deadly and unwholesome resolve!

“What do-you know what? I’m just not going to question it” Shion scratches the back of her head and flies after you “Should be fun to watch even if she's…” then she speaks up “Where are we going?”

What isn’t it obvious!? There’s only one person worthy of writing your book for you.

Since as the sovereign of shadows you don’t have the time to write your chronicles yourself.

Also, it sounds like hard work, and very boring to do.
So, you’ll let someone else do it.

Of course, it must be someone of immense talent and experience in the field.

You can’t let some nobody write a book about you after all, which is why you’ve decided on…

[] That Hieda girl wrote mean things about you, with this book she can redeem herself.
[] The Tengu Crow is the one with the most info, she’ll spread your word faster than the wind.
[] The nun at that temple made you write stuff down a thousand times once, it’s her turn now.
[] This idea is dumb, let’s go do something else or go somewhere else.
[x] This idea is dumb, let's go do something else or go somewhere else
[x] Visit team 9

Get more allies for physical combat, anons can't be defeated with pen and papers (probably)
File 163428358253.png - (154.73KB, 600x600, daiyousei_by_216.png) [iqdb]
[x] This idea is dumb, let's go do something else or go somewhere else
[x] Visit team 9

That was a funny dice roll, gotta admit. We are really just far more chaotic a character than any anon could be, at this point.

Also, fingers crossed nothing happened to poor Dai.
File 163433258642.png - (1.14MB, 900x900, Choose your fighter.png) [iqdb]
Just a second!

You stop yourself immediately and concentrate on the bubbles that is the amazing idea soup that is the pot in your head in which uh you’ve gotten a better idea!

A writing career is like a big thing to suddenly get into and may take more than a day too.

You’d definitely be able to make a masterpiece in just a day. Because the content of the book would be straight to the point! No metaphors or any deeper meaning or biggy words.

Anons are bad, you see one then kick it.

The end.

That’s the book written, and the world is saved!

Alas…Okay you know what? Let’s be honest: It sounds like too much effort.

You’d probably need to convince/force the person to write your book, then get like a way to sell the books too and finally make people read them, and that doesn’t sound like a fun time.

And you like fun! You like fun stuff a lot! You want to go play with the others or do something else!

Like throwing snowballs! except that one time where Cirno somehow got a cold. You’re not sure how that happened, and it hurts your brain just thinking about it.

Playing prank on humans is fun too, they’re so uptight and easy to scare.
Especially their children, they cry so easily~

They don’t like it when you throw snowballs at them for some reason.

But if they don’t want to be hit by one then they should just learn how to DODGE!
Hehe he, dance your snot nosed brats! DANCE!!

But the bastards got smart and equipped themselves with umbrellas and other tools like light thingies. so that no longer works against them and that ruins all the fun behind it.

Bunch of cheaters took a shortcut and learned nothing in the end. Your diligent effort was wasted.

Not to forget what Miss Forehead did to you…those were the worst weeks of your life. (Though today may be a fair contender)

Since then, you’ve kept these self-rules in mind: Do not mess with children of any kind, if you see any outside the village then just bring them back there and pray the Forehead demon won’t come for you. Even though bullying them was funny as hell…some things are not worth the risk.

And technically, the a thousand-year-old wench of a Hieda counts as one too.

A shame, but in that case it’s time for Plan B: Gather the party!

Introducing the members of team 9:

Rumia, the lord of darkness! With her powers she ca-wait that’s you.

Also, you already know what the others can do, why are you introducing them?

Let’s pretend that didn’t happen.

And so it did not.

What were we talking about? it feels like something happened but it didn't so you only have a vague sense of deja vu about it for the sake of symbolism. #You are so deep.

Anyway, everything is more fun with friends and when team 9 works together, nothing can stop us!

Except the Breast Goddess, Forehead Monster, Sunflower Lady, Hakurei Maiden, Lase-that's a lot of people...

It’s time to go find them!

Like right now!

Where are they though? Cause you can’t find someone if you don’t kno-WAIT, you remember!

Dai is like infiltrating some house? But that doesn’t make much sense though. You can’t infiltrate a house, that’s something you enter and not some secret group you can spy on.

Unless they are? Guess that would explain why there are so many with the same look…on the same street…perfectly placed the same distance from each other.
Oh my god, how did you notice the patterns, the clues, the trails. It’s all so obvious!
Someone is making the houses!

And that means she’s in danger! You must save her from the Brotherhood of Silence!

Or maybe she’s doing just fine, which is unacceptable as well. You’d feel immensely cheated if your friends had an adventure without you so surely, she feels the same way?

As for the others…uuuh one second.

Wriggle is well not alive at the moment, but you shouldn’t hold that against her. Since you’ll bring her back somehow eventually, probably, maybe.

Even so that’s no reason to not help out, surely her ghost or whatever can spare some time since what else is it going to do? Haunt people? Chill in Limbo? Yeah, she needs to pull her weight in this adventure! So, it’s time to go to that Garden Place! Have a chat with the manager of the dead!

Next person, that’s hmm Cirno and Mystia!

Mysti’s got like a whole big schedule these days, sell stuff at some stand. Do concert stuff with some dog-eared bitch (That’s the female version of dog right?), spend money on stuff and rinse and repeat

So she could be anywhere, and that’s unhelpful. It’ll be a pain to find her but there’s like only three places she can be at then. On another note, she really should spend more time with you, so this adventure will be the prime opportunity for that!

Finally, the strongest for last Cirno!

No idea where she is, something shrines and witches. Do you know any of those?

Huh, that wasn’t so hard to think about after all. So, let’s start the…you don’t have a name for this.

Let’s start the Gather Team 9 quest so you can help them beat Anon quest or something!

Also find your shoes, you can’t walk all day barefooted, right? It’d be annoying.

So much stuff to do yet so little ability to do them all at the same time…

It’s times like these that make you regret not being God. Not like that can be helped for now.

But really, let’s get a move on. Where do you go?

[] Daiyousei: Midboss Management Misadventure! (The Red Mansion Place)
[] Wriggle: Hello? I’d like to get a Bug back or…Be bugged back? (Spooky Garden Place For Spooky People)
[] Mystia: You've run out of puns but let's try another anyway: Bird Brain Something? (Choose one: Forest with the Bun Buns in it or That Temple For Imaginary Fiends )
[] Cirno: Freezing in Doubt? Where in the world is the Strongest? (Who do you think knows where she is? and or where do you think she is?)

[ ] This plan is stupid, let's go do something else.
[x] Daiyousei: Midboss Management Misadventure!

Commence operation 9! Stage 1: Captain (hopefully can throw that) boomerang
[x] Wriggle: Hello? I’d like to get a Bug back or…Be bugged back? (Spooky Garden Place For Spooky People)
Been a while since there's been any Wriggle. If this ties, feel free to go with the nameless fairy.
[x] Cirno: Freezing in Doubt? Where in the world is the Strongest?
[x] Either Misty lake or Moriya shrine

She might be the only person who fit the requirement (Or lack of) amount of braincells to join us on this
File 163440149257.jpg - (130.39KB, 1200x630, You are correct.jpg) [iqdb]

So you deduce that Cirno is either at the Misty Lake or Moriya Shrine?

Your answer is



Cirno is located at one of those two locations!

You've gained a new monologue: If Worm < Bird and Bird < Rumia and Rumia < Witches and Maidens then what is < those?

If you (or anyone else) can answer that, then her location shall be revealed to you.
You can be even right for the wrong reasons so use your inner 9 logic.

That said I won't update today due to having to host a party. (So it'll come this Sunday)

It's fall vacation! or something, but if I update anyway today then consider me stooped up.

This totally doesn't break my update every day chain so far shush.

So you've all got an extra day to figure that out.

If not, then I'll just take the majority vote (Which at the moment would be for the Daiyousei)

Enjoy your weekend.
[X] Cirno: Freezing in Doubt? Where in the world is the Strongest? (Who do you think knows where she is? and or where do you think she is?)

A cold hearted detective ready to ice any criminal scum making this dark city darker...
Also Cirno is there.
>>31523 Here

Switching to Cirno vote. Obviously the gods are above the maidens, so we go to the shrine! You can't fool me, we would go to the lake if you had << because nature is far beyond everything else!
File 163449408831.jpg - (10.45KB, 384x214, IS that so.jpg) [iqdb]

So you deduce that Cirno is at the Moriya Shrine?

Because Gods are above Maidens?

Is that really the case?

You are


Correct! You've found out her location!

Update coming in just a moment
File 163450640771.jpg - (372.39KB, 777x1099, Feeling hardboiled today.jpg) [iqdb]
Time: ?? ; Date: 07/07/2017
Previous Location: Hakurei Shrine ; Current Location: Forest of Magic. ; Destination: Moriya Shrine
Target: Cirno, the fairy of Ice.


The forest’s embrace is met once again, and like usual it was unchanging.

The colours of a vibrant green, the aroma of wildflowers in the air.
The gentle shine of the sun basking the sea of trees was good at its job: Hiding the invaders in its shadows.

This Peridot has been infected, by a disease most rare and foul.

Only you are the cure.

Where they came from is unknown, and why they are is a mystery. All you knew is that they are strong and vicious, unique yet legion.

The living mystery is dubbed Anon by the voices in your head.

Whether those voices were trustworthy was another mystery, one of many you had to solve if you wanted peace back in your life. Peace that was previously taken for granted…you know better now.

But first you had to leave the country, leave the country fast. Wait no you meant forest.
You’ve been involved with an Anon encounter that went bad. Very bad even.

There was only one chance, and you blew it. The Bug had been stamped harder than an egg that fell of a plate and hit the stone lifeless wooden floor of the Trashman’s kitchen. Then came the fire.

People don’t like fires in their neighbourhood, whether it was on purpose or not doesn’t change the details a tiniest bit. And you’ve got arson written all over your face. Even the fairies know it.

And when a fairy knows something, you don’t want them to know: Oh, that’s bad news.

In a minute their friends will know, in ten they’d have made a game out of it. In an hour the words are spread and after 2 more everyone and their mother will believe it and once that’s happens…

Let’s just say some people will be eager for Danmaku and some might even forget to use it.

Put two and two together and the four-sided die of trouble is clearly yours to roll.

Before that can happen, before the sand runs out. You have to find a certain someone: The Blue Warrior.

If anyone knew how to pack a punch with a smile on her face, it’d be that Dame. She’s got the guts and will to scale a mountain and defy the gods. That kind of power must be on your side.

So, we’ll be going to You- “kai Mountain” Shion floats next to you with an eyebrow raised and mild concern on her face “You’ve been mumbling an awful lot, and the way your face is all scrunched up like a stepped-on paper bag is telling me even the unsaid~” then she pokes your nose “All okay in there? Surely, you’re not going to give up here and now? Keep fighting for!…everlasting peace?”

These encouragements feel like a bucket of water thrown into the sea, futile as [insert hardboiled metaphor].

You nod yes, “At the top lies the domain of the gods, there I shall put my shadowy feet upon” A cigarro is lifted from your pocket and you put it in your mouth “Of course were I to desire it, then I could bask the entire mountain in a starless void but I shan’t.” And a shot of danmaku lights it.

A sweet unholy aroma enters your mouth and throat, that of sweet melting chocolate.

Chocolate for Hardboiled Men that is, a dark smoke leaves your mouth as you exhale in satisfaction.

It tastes so good, even the inner dark lord of you melts from it.

Sadly, you’re not hardboiled enough to have an addiction for it, even though coffee and chocolate are the only sociable acceptable ones. You’re not much a fun of sweet or bitter. What a picky tongue.

The so-called goddess of lack of services that are supposed to be surprisingly economical puts a hand on her chin as she continues flying backwards while facing you. “Hmm, so you mean Heaven?”

You nod no and continue the pace. “No, I meant the Moriya Shrine. The one with like the twin gods? The Scheming Snake and Secretive Sfrog Shrine of Secrets, you know the one.”

Shion shrugs in the way people say darn, I hoped the answer was yes “Shame, could have had my friend play along with this. She’d LOVE using her sword as a tool of justice. Long time too since either of us got to be good guys too…wait Anon is evil right?” You were right on the sigh, like the detective you are.

You pause and give her the most hardboiled look a hardboiled egg like you can scramble.
“My name is Detective Rumia, and I was sleeping a happy carefree sleep before it all happened. The kind you only have after a time spent with dear friends and loved games. Every day was the same fun day in my life you see. I’d get up, float like the wind wherever my fancy takes me and maybe meet a gal or two. In that moonlight knowing that I have no grander obligations other than fetching a good snack or two was like wandering around my own slice of heaven…but then the devil ringed. Of course, it was the devil, it had the sensual voice of a woman” the goddess attempts to speak but you continue “Told me she had some special birthday cake for me, a cake made of people she’d rather not let live. I was only too happy to get my slices, after all who says no to a free meal or two? If anything, it’s a waste not to eat. There was no poison in it, but I was ensnared regardless” you look down to the ground and see a few animals roaming around in the woods below. No one else is listening so you continue, you tell her the tale of the mistake you made “This place, The Forest of Magic, is a place of forgetfulness. Every day or so, a life is taken and every day thereafter the life lost is forgotten. If you don’t have the power to defend yourself then surely whoever won is in the right? If anything, you’ve committed the crime of bleeding on their favourite shirt for all anyone cares. The strong thrive and the weak are trampled as an everyday occasion: That’s the wildlife, sounds cruel, doesn’t it? But youkai are cruel creatures, they make do with their wishes and go on with life. If they are smart enough to figure out how to operate merchandise and read or count, they can have something of a career in civilization if they want. People can survive without knowing what did or didn't happen in the past. And each day they try their hardest to do just that, live in the present and enjoy life. The only people who regret the loss of these memories are those with a human heart or those who lost someone special…Wriggle is not someone I intend to just forget. And the person who took her from me is not someone I intend to forgive either. To me Anon is evil”.

Your companion looks downwards, empathy in their eyes and shame in their voice “I’m sorry, I knew something like that motivated you, but I got a bit curious since you’re acting so...odd” then she hurriedly continues “By the way! There’s like a Ropeway that leads straight to the shrine itself recently, we could just take a ride in there instead of flying the whole way if you want”

You hum in thoughtfulness, brooding hardboiled thoughtfulness. “Isn’t that slower?”

Shion gives a thumbs up, with both hands. Is that a double thumb ups? “It’s a lot safer too! it’s been made just so people can visit the shrine without trespassing any tengu territory or something. So, no one is going to get in our way if we do that. The sight could be nice too and-Oh hey looks who’s there!” Shion immediately points downwards.

You look down, and shrug. It’s just some trees and a metallic tower, oh wait a sec.

Surrounded by shrubberies at the bases and vines around it’s consorts lies a pillar of iron, no that’s incorrect it’s a bunch of iron pillars stacked against each other in such a way that it resembles a tower. At the top lies some more iron and aside from its circular plate thingies? You don’t know what it is, but the ribbons around it and the scent of fairy dust indicate that it’s a fairy shrine.

At this point you’d be bailing out of it but there’s more: it’s got an odd sensation to it, blink and you’ll miss it, and you can feel a sort of presence in it, or at least Shion says so.

Closer inspection would be needed but you won’t. It’s way too risky.

Why you ask?

Because there’s a certain magician down below as well, you’re not sure WHAT she’s doing but she seems to be investigating the premises.

You don’t think she’d be happy to see you since you did bail on her

And told Rin-chan to go die, and kind of blew up her house and yeah that's all.

Still not the best impression you can give someone, even if you're in the right.

So, let’s bai-a pigeon hits you smack in the face, and you yelp out in fright.

The hell? Out of all the times and out of all the places, and denunciate the witch is looking up now!

Shion lets out a groan, with frustration on her face “So sorry for that, misfortune is just like that” you’re not sure what she’s talking about since she’s obviously a I have no money god. So this ain't her fault.

“Hey!” That didn’t sound like a happy hey, Marisa is raising a fist at you like an old man would to children that trespass their lawn “Don’t you dare run! You don’t just ditch a girl like th-and not even that’s the worst! You put me in this mess, spout some nonsense and just leave? What kind of plot hook are you ze!? Come down this instant and be a proper Watson missy!” Oh no, how scary.

Anyway, the suggestion Shion had earlier is worth thinking about. Will you go with your own idea and scale the mountain like a champ, or will you take some comfy rope ride?

Better decide quickly, before the witch gets wise enough to just shoot you down.

[ ] Clearly, the only one way to go up a mountain is the (wo)Manly way.
[ ] A something ride does sound nice now that you think of it.

An barrage of red to green and all in between stars brighten up the sky and graze right next to you, their heat and power is enough to make your skin tingle. They went faster than you realized bullets could go.

“I’m counting to 5 and if you don’t come down then the next one won’t be a warning, last chance ze!” The witch is holding her magic box thingy, and pointing at the sky. from her voice you bet she's not smiling.

You almost forgot. Despite her attitude this girl is one of the big shots around here. Her “Ordinary Magician” title isn’t a mocking nickname, it’s an emblem of pride. This girl is human but is also the only person aside from the Hakurei that has beaten up every single person in this land. Was it not for the fact that you tried out the spell card rules the day you two met…you’d be dead already?

Even so, you can’t let her get in your way, right? Surely you can do something right?

[ ] “Get up here and make me!” One danmaku fight can’t hurt…or at least won’t kill you.
[ ] “Wait don’t shoot! I’m coming” I-it’s just a temporary surrender. Surely reason will win.
[ ] “Catch me if you can” On second thought: Let’s just bail with our lives intact.
[ ] Hold on a second, you have a genius idea! (Write in)
File 16345508064.png - (383.54KB, 850x1028, No you are the Watson.png) [iqdb]
[x] Hold on a second, you have a genius idea!

[x] It's been a while since you've played the game of seduction but even a hard boiled dark nay dooder can betwix the heart of some foresty maiden.

[x] Establish Dominance, you are the Sherlock and she the bumbly sidekick. It is the rule of nature.

If you cannot beat her, then seduce her!
Even if that fails it sounds hilarous to me.
Then continue the quest for Cirno.
File 163459200425.png - (100.16KB, 348x432, Marisa is not impressed.png) [iqdb]
She was lying below you, some distance away. But even in this distance you could feel the power emanating from her, her opened eyes sharp like a hawk, the box held tight in her hand like a weapon made to kill. This girl was trouble incarnate, and today you were its unlucky target.

You sigh a hardboiled sigh and float down to the ground, arms in the air to show you mean no harm
“Put that thing away, you’re going to hurt my feelings~” and you slowly approach her.

The witch did not lower her weapon, with her arms that have shoulders and legs that have feet the signs of her being on guard couldn’t be more obvious “Your feelings are the last thing you need to worry about, Girl” the fact she wasn’t shouting was a good sign. “I’m not letting you run off again”

“Run?” The girl has such a vivid imagination “I don’t think you can call it that, if anything you took too long with your Rin-pal, so I went ahead and got myself better company” you smile smugly as you point to the gal right behind you, she’s twice better than some witch and we all knew it.
“But did you really miss me that much? Would you like a hug for reassurance?” your arms fly open ready to receive a warm embrace from the witch, it’s only natural she feels that way since it’s you.

Said embrace does not come instead her full lips formed into a pout enough to make a lesser man’s heart melt. Unfortunately for her you were not most men. She meant absolutely nothing to you.

Her nose squints up like a tower, annoyance crawling out of her throat like honey “I don’t think I will, we’ve wasted enough time here and too little was accomplished” it was a light but a tired one, like a dictionary in a stupid family. Something was gnawing at her mind “Now come over here and sniff”.

Sniff? Sniff what exactly? The scent of old metal? The scent of her sweaty body? Or perhaps was it a hidden message? The secret language so many women seem to know but do not share with you?

You take strong whiff of the air around you and don’t feel any different.

Women and their shady ways, oh how you loathed those who acted secretive for no reason.
Do they think it makes them look attractive? Mysterious? No, they were making a show. A show out of the silliest of things. If they could assume the worst out of someone or have a conversation to clear things, then nine times out of ten they would choose the former. Just to spice up their lives.

Pathetic really, and the witch was not going to be any different. She may live in the forest now but give it another decade or so and she’d either be married in the village or become another old hag who lives their lives with a bunch of decrepit black cats and slimy old toads. How you pity her.

So, you know what? You’ll amuse her fancies just this once, let her enjoy her own youth.
You’ll show her seductive you can be, out of pity of course. And a sense of responsibility.

Of course, your view on this did not matter, it never mattered to her. So, you walk towards her to get your answer anyway. “I’d say you smell good, but you don’t” you say with a slight tease “So let’s get this over with, how can I help you this fine afternoon lo…. l-lo!ohhhny!?” but make a small mistake.

“Sherlock” She corrects you and points at the tower before you “While you were off doing whatever you were doing, I went ahead and investigated this whole place without you. Found some suspicious people roaming around, looked like a bunch of knights straight out of another place and era” She lets you see the sight before she continues. “Take a look, course I blasted the bastards already” and the arrow lying in her shoulder tells you why that’s the case. No wonder she’s peeved.

You do and see that right underneath the shrine are pieces of burned armour, deeper within it reeks of the fragrance of Anon and when you look down, you’re in the middle of an oddly shaped circle.

Marisa dumps her oh so interesting lore “That’s the shape of a spiral if you don’t know geometry, it’s purpose is unknown to me but I can feel something pulsing within it. Something alien if not primal. It’s more like you than magical in nature if you get what I mean? It’s got Spiritual vibes, so maybe they were like using this as a summoning tool? Or something even worse!” She claps her hands in excitement and makes her wings shed feathers as she jumps up and down. She's back to a good mood.

This is the opportunity to lay in the charm “Ah, damn, girl, did you just fart? Because you just blew me away” and you add a nice wink to the finishing touch.

Wait, do you wink with the left or right eye? Or is that unimportant? You do both for safety.

You wink both of your eyes closed at the same time; you are so Secksy.

She pauses and gives you a blank look which does not make you look down “Thank you? Whatever, anyway here’s the deal. I’m going to try and like banish you to- “you don’t like those words.

“Whoa, whoa! Hold on a moment!” You immediately back away from her. “What do you mean by that?” You feel like she’s over exaggerating. Sure, you weren’t the smoothest person that existed but that doesn’t mean she can just send your soul to hell or something like that.

“Hey chill I wasn’t done talking” She continues “I meant that in theory. This thing could be a summoning device for them. As in something to go from one place to the other or something. I’m not too sure about that but the fact they went out of their way to cover this place in illusions and barriers is enough proof that whatever is in there was worth protecting. You get me so far?”

You hum in thought. “How is that related to me being banished?” you ask with wary.

She does that motion where you look at someone just so you can roll your eyes, but since it’s just the two of us all she can do is look around the room, then back at you and roll her eyes anyway.

“If this thing connects two places, then surely one can use this side to see what’s back there instead.
So, I’m going to try, and reverse summon you to like there so you’re no longer here but there instead of being sent from there to here” Marisa moves her hands from one point to the other as example.

“Oh, then why don’t you go yourself?” you ask, “I’m busy anyway” and refuse at the same time.

“Because I don’t know if the place is human friendly, and the process might fail”

“And if that happens? What happens if It goes wrong?”

“You’d be ripped apart by space and time and die an agonizing death”

(Music Stops)

A long silence just lies there for a minute as you make sense of that.

“Well, I don’t think I’d like that”

“Nah, don’t worry. There’s only a small chance for it to happen. I swear it’ll be super safe, barely a real danger”

“How much of a danger?”

“Look, you’re overthinking it. It’s just going to be a simple experiment to see if my theory is right.
If it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work, and we all continue with our lives. So, stop worrying about the little things, get into that circle and shut up” She’s being oddly forceful…

As in she’s outright pushing you towards it from behind, as it starts to glow as you get closer to it.

What do you do?

[ ] Let it happen, she’d never harm you.
[ ] Screw this noise, you've got a fairy to find!
[ ] You’re starting to think she’s suspicious, pre-emptive strike.
[ ] None of this is real, wake up.
Looks like it's soon time to roll the funny rock again.

I'll do it in a hour or two, and afterwards the update will come (In like another hour).

So if anyone wants to vote during that time, you can until then.
Let's do this

Rolling 1d4 => 3
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