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File 163087273747.png - (114.35KB, 276x262, Rumia is the mpv of this story.png)
Rumia is the mpv of this story
Time: 9 pm ; Date: 07/07/2017
Location: Forest of Magic

Today is a day like almost no other, except not. For today was a special day for a special person, except not again. The truth is this story was going to be a little bit different, a little less Anonesque.

That is to say today Anon must perish.

Members of the Anonymise Anonymous are in the majority outsiders, outsiders that must eat memes to survive, despite being good at puking up write ins all anons have lost the ability to use their brain cells however they are very good at digesting moe and garr with levels of intensity that would quickly give any of us a heart attack. Anons have evolved into exceptional invaders with extraordinary abilities of just not dying when people want them to! Yet all of this may come from the lack of an particular sense: their own individuality and any variants of them are pure bred chaos.

If you were to walk on the street and meet an Oni, it’d try to drink with you or have wrestling match. If you were to meet an Kappa, they’d try to sell their overprized wares at you. If you were to meet a tengu, they’d either act like an elitist snob or try to wrangle info out of you.

But no one knows what will happen if you meet with an anon, they might give you candy, stab you with a knife, declare their eternal love to you and many more in any order. All Anon’s lack the ability to act like a normal person or function in Society of any form. An irreversible genetic mutation in the common ancestor among them made their common sense receptors inoperable. So what may seem like an simple and logical problem to solve using a key on a door may instead give them the idea to lube up an table on oil so they can ride it down a hill and smash into the door for the same result.

This may explain why all of them have such exceptional sturdiness, their brains will not supply them with the funny amount of dopamine if they do not comply to their inner wacko, you take all my ding dongs away and I’d go a little crazy too…hence most of them lurk everywhere but the village.

What other evolutionary quirks do the anon have? How does one successfully avoid or survive an encounter with one? I’m so sad to say that you will find those answers with your own hands otherwise you’d never grow on your own and would most likely continue this rut of an existence.

Soon, the anons will arrive. They’ll come in waves that increase in intensity as time passes bye, your job is to make sure they don’t leave the forest. To let them get in and have you dispose of them is more manageable than forcing them all out one by one. Apologies for the sudden quest.

Happy Birthday Rumia! and enjoy your all you can eat buffet. More instructions will come once you manage to take down the first one. Just trust your instincts~

Dream Message sent by you know who~

...This the part where you wake up yknow? how else willl you capture all of the anons? I don't have the time to watch you drooling like a fool all cozy against a tree. Aren't you nocturnal anywa-it doesn't matter. either way this adventure cannot begin with you in this state.


[] Wake up.
[] Don’t Wake up
[] Genuflect
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Forgot to add.

This is my entry for Spooktember: https://www.thp.moe/gensokyo/res/16356.html
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[X] Wake up.
Good luck.
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[x] Genuflect
[x] Wake up
Salute the sun.
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[x] Genuflect
-[x] Just genuflect.
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[X] Don’t Wake up
"The only way to win is not to play." Watatsuki No Yorihime said that, and I'd say she knows a little more about winning than you do, pal, because she invented it, and then she perfected it so that no living miko could best her in the ring of honor. Then she used her moon bullshit to capture two of every single youkai on earth, and herd them into a boat, at which point she purified the crap out of each and every one of them. And from that day forward every dighting of a lunarian was called a lunar invasion!
Unless it was a party!
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[x[ Wake up.
Time to eat!
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What does Genuflect even mean
Good, you're getting up. with that out of the what are you doing?

It was total humiliation to be genuflecting before the man who head patted your best friend and turned your other best friend into ice cream right before your eyes…well that did not happen at all but the potential of having to face Anon in a intense life or death heaven or hell combat was real.

But you didn’t want to fight Anon, Anon is just too strong! And you were only a stage 1 boss! Yeah while there is life, there is hope. Your precious life is irreplaceable and to waste it would be an ever bigger crime than anything. Let's live in the fullest~

So you get down to one knee, clasp both of your hands together and pray to the meatball god.
May her saucy balls deliver us from the rumblies in the tumblies and may she give us strength with her chicken dinner winner liver golden crisp delight soup…free food is just so nice~



The meatball god was unusually mean today, but some part of it felt like it made sense. Who are you to fear anon? “Exactly child, you’re one of the meanest lean slean anon eating machines that have graced these parts of the woods, give Anon the hell of their life understood?”

Yes! You will defeat Anon and make everyone proud! Thank you meatball god ?Actually my name is O-? thank you meatball god! ?…Oh go suck a farm, I’m out. Yukari can deal with this drought of morons. Now how do I log out again?? and the presence is gone

You on the other hand are still there, wide awake and with a small bruise on the forehead. Wonder where that came from?

…That wasn’t really part of the plan, didn’t know you knew her but now is not the time for that, remember that the Anons are coming in around hmmm tell you what I’ll just send one out in advance just to be sure ergo right now! Think of it like a tutorial or easy mode okay? Good luck~

Oh, so there’s an Anon out and about in the tree cloud. That should be a nice dinner! You lower the intensity of your sphere of darkness so you can find the sunglasses you dropped on the ground. They make you look cool and confident and make the days more tolerable when you do have to remove the former for whatever reason. Well technically the evening sun do-enough talk.

You are the dusk of bad ends, the lurker of the night and the reason Anons no longer lurk here.
Though your heritage may be unknown and obscure your youkai blood is boiling hot!
Are you not the first Anon killer? Are you not Rumia!? These anons may be up and coming...

But before their stories can begin you will have already ripped them to pieces!

[] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!
[] …She's an loose canon, but man is she the girl for the job.
[] Go back to sleep, just 5 more minutes mom.
[] Genuflect
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[x] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!

Hungry Rumia best Rumia. Anon better have a cow's worth of burgers to distract us if he wants to live.
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[X] Go back to sleep, just 5 more minutes mom.
I refuse. You may have thought we were playing rumia but rumia is in this context powered by anon. It is solely in anon interests to anon. Anon and anon. Anon. Zzzzzz
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[x] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!
After attaining victory
[x] Genuflect
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[x] Genuflect
Where is mystia...
[x] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!
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Your feet leave the ground, gravity unable to do a thing, you soar in the sky arms stretched to the sides like the saint who came back after 3 days. You are the hunter reawakened.

You think about Anon and how tasty they are, you think about how delicious they would be if you ate them raw, you think about how delicious they would be if you ate them boiled.

If you were to not eat Anon on the spot then perhaps you could share some of it with your friends? It’d be an anon barbeque! Now that’s tasty~

I’m glad to see that you’re starting to take this earnestly but Anon is on the other direction.

You turn around and fly amongst the trees, you notice you are in a forest. The forest looks peaceful. But all forests look peaceful don’t they? What if it was hurting inside while pretending to be okay?

You’d ask forest yourself but you’ve got an anon to hunt! And you don’t want to give a bad impression by coming late. There is an principle in all this after all.
You fly for a while but don’t see anything….only darkness up, down, left and right. You wonder why.

You’ve got half a mind to genu-“MAC AND CHEEEEZOOOOOOOO!” what was that?

You heard an good shout, a bad shout, a good bad shout, a bad good bad good shout that was quite loud. It came from below so you prepare yourself for your super Rumia landing.

*Plop!* You eat dirt, it’s hard to measure the ground when you can’t see. even so you believe in destiny: You don’t need brakes for girls like you never learned how to stop and you don’t need wheels for the wind shall carry you to where you need to go! Quite strange isn’t it?

“MAC AND CHEEEEZOOOOOOOO!” you hear the shout again, it’s definitely in the vicinity. Maybe like 10 steps away even. You could easily see them if you were to remove your sphere of darkness but you see there’s an secret in this that only you know. Yeah you didn’t even share it with your pals so prepare to be amazed.

You know how in mirrors you can like see someone from the other side of the room? Well as it turns out if you can see them then they can see you too. Therefore if you cannot see someone then they cannot see you either. Ergo to be blind is to be invisible.

Uhuh now isn’t that quite the unique mindset. Anyhow since you and anon are now in the same place allow me to explain further: You are to kill Anon, don’t care how you do it or who helped you do it. As long as this Anon is dead then we can get straight to the real deal. Honestly it should be quite easy since this anon self identifies as an happy meal. Enjoy your freebie~

Oh you will, quite soon in fact because like an hungry wolf with cool wolf sunglasses looming over a lamb with no sunglasses because it's a dumb lamb…
Anon will never know what hit them!

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in rumianation
[x] Question MarkSign: Is that so?
What is going on, I'm honestly lost.
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[x] Wolf Sign: Pounces on (you)!
What's there to get? Rumia is hungry, and there is food right in front of her!
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No, not in that way.
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You look at anon you want to eat him raw you want
You get down to your hand and feet but not to genuflect this time! No this is the pose of the mighty jaguar. Hunter of the rainy wood seas and object of worship in the olden times. Like this ferocious feline you stalk your prey while being hidden in the darkness of the night alongside your own.

Double the darkness means double the sneakiness, in fact since you’re invisible too there’s absolutely no way for anon oh poor anon to possibly detect you. Death incarnate is you!

“MAAC AND CHEEEZOOOO-“ You hear the sound again and leap at it’s direction, your nails hitting the mark on the spot as you start to RIP AND TEAR anon to pieces, their rigid skin is slashed open as you pin them down with a hard thud to the ground! Before Anon can even react you continue the assault as you get on top of them and start a rafale of punches aimed at their surprisingly sturdy chest.
You can hear *Tok* *Tok* sounds coming from the blows and assume that’s the bones in anon’s body breaking from the stress of having your iron fists giving him doki doki punches.

Suddenly part of anon explodes and you can feel grass on the other side. Oh god you donuted anon! that would be so baddish if it wasn’t for the lack of blood and death cries coming out of him. In fact the only thing anon gave you is dust on your clothes and splinters in your hands…

Did anon try to make love to a bush before this (Not that you would judge, everyone is free to love whoever and whatever they want after all) ? Nevertheless you open your mouth and aim for the final bite straight at the throat! BONNE APPETIT ANON!

only to taste wood…anon was a tree.

I know you couldn’t hear it. But you just made me facepalm so hard right now little moon ray. You seem to be struggling so allow me to give you a little hint: Just remove that darkness sphere and kill the mac-anon already. Whether he can see or not see you doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have the strength to fight back. Also yes I’m saying he because saying they repeatedly is just annoying. Good luck~

The voice is right. That was just a fluke. You get up and remove the darkness sphere so you can see properly see anon now. You notice you are in a forest. The forest looks peaceful and the evening sun gives the whole place a reddish glint to it.
Dang if only it was autumn then the whole place would look super romantic! Not that it really matters since you’re married to your job…well you think someone has the hots for you but again married to the job! And eating anon goes first yes!

Speaking off anon there he is! Lying on the ground is an anon wearing a yellow shirt with holes in it and brown pants that look like bread.
You’re surprised they can even walk since all the mass of fat surrounding it’s body makes you think anyone else would die from like uh the blood being unable to go anywhere? It’s a big mac anon! and you are a hungry girl~

‘’MAC AND CHEEEZOOOOO!’’ mac-anon bellows a noise out of their multiple chinned neck, their eyes are completely unfocused. You’re not sure what happened to this anon but most of them don’t’ want to be eaten normally right? He’s not suicidal though since you don’t feel any regret or fear oozing out of its body…is it a sort of fetish then? Nope no lust either.

How odd.

Either way, free food is pretty good! You float towards, land on top of the island (belly) and stare them in the eyes. It’s a nice deep brown but he doesn’t seem to see you. Oh well EAT TIME!

You try to choke him but your hands slip into his skin….

You try to donut him but your fist rebounds from his belly like an trampoline….

This anon is cheating! You try one final time as energy gathers into your fist. Only for your hand to refuse to go down?

“Eat me alive” it’s mac-anon. his voice is determined and his eyes sharp “I want to witness, the fulfilment of my destiny” his arm holds back yours with an unusual force of strength as he puts it on his chest. A bug is on his shirt now. You can hear his heartbeat.

Oka- A bug is on his shirt now you realize what that means. Wriggle is coming!

Darn it no that’s unfair! You wanted to enjoy this anon and every time you have to share a meal a with her it ends up covered in worms and bugs and all that nasty stuff.

Whenever you complain about it she just gives you that sort of look that says “Are you racist Rumia?”

Of course you’re not! You respect all the communities! From bees to butterflies, squirrels to amongooses. Even the mushroom monsters! You’re a pure carnivore so you don’t eat those anyway.

But no, you don’t want to share this anon. he looks super duper yummy even if he’s weird! But that’s antisocial too! Wriggle is a friend and always shares her catches with you too. to just all eat of anon mean she might do the same next time or even worse she’ll complain to Mystia! and then you won't have free lamprey ever again!

Mac-Anon is still staring at you, ready for this destiny thing.

To Share or not to Share? That is the question!

[ ] No! This anon is yours!
- [ ] Eat anon now!
- [ ] Relocate anon!

[ ] Wait for the Wriggle, sharing is caring.
-[ ] Sike! Eat anon in front of wriggle
- [ ] Wait for realsies

[ ] Fall in love!
-[ ] with Anon!
-[ ] with Wriggle!

[ ] Genuflect
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[x] Wait for the Wriggle, sharing is caring.
-[x] Wait for realsies

Commence the building of an anon ending army. Also section off your portion, dumb dumb.

[x] Genuflect
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[x] Wait for Wriggle,
-[x] Wait for realsie,
If Wriggle shares with us then we share with Wriggle. But make sure to grab a leg - thigh muscles are good protein.
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[X ] Fall in love!
-[ X] with Anon!
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[x] Wait for the Wriggle, sharing is caring.
- [x] Wait for realsies

([x] Fall in love!
-[x] with Wriggle!)
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It's Wriggle time!
You decide to wait for Wriggle after all, it’s only fair to wait for her since the best meals are meals that are shared. Let no one say you are a bad friend!

“…?” Anon is looking at you with anticipation and confusion. If not a bit impatient.

You don’t really care about that and give him a shushing motion with your free hand, since why should the hunter care about the prey’s emotion? You are the top and anon the bottom.

That aside what to do know? There isn’t much a person can do when they’re on top of someone. Well his stomach is like an trampoline right? Let’s have some fun after all!

Boing~ Boing~ You jump on anon and enjoy the bouncing it gives you. It’s almost like being on a shaky bed except more entertaining. People should get more often on top of each other for fun times!

One flip! Two flip! You even manage to do some neat tricks, one day you’ll master the jump and become Ju

….why do you feel an bulge on your foot? Did you step on a pocket?

“It’s a natural body reaction” anon says dismissively “Am I going to be eaten or what?” his breathing is a bit raspy and his cheeks are red.

You’re not sure what that means but it doesn’t look innocent.

Wait…..wait! this is exactly what Mysti told you about!

The purification rod and the youkai bun!

The Bishamonten and the amanojaku!

The minihakkero and the master spark!

And other expressions.

Anon is in love with you!

He wants to make da behbehs!

Pollinate the sunflower!

Your hearts beats a bit faster at such a revelation but that’s quickly replaced with sadness.


“Sorry Anon, but this wasn’t meant to be!” you cry out with a tear in your eye as your teeth meet and tear through his throat like butter.

Not a single word comes out of him except “THAnkxanxasjasolnaaaaaaa” and blood flows out of him like a river of romance-like attributes.

He’s bleeding love as the light fades from his eyes. But you do not look away.

No, you keep eye contact until the one known as anon has died. Your bond may have been short lived and the confession was odd if not outright rude. But you admire the courage behind it.

(….What is this shi-ahem. That’s one anon down…and you’re not listening are you?)

You get off anon and start to genuflect.

(Yup you’re not listening to me)

Please hear this prayer, my most delicious and stomach rumbling Meatball God!

“Hello, welcome to the XXXXXXXXXXX Faith Line. How may I help you?” your prayer has been answered! The voice is younger and more girlish but it’s a voice regardless!

“Currently all contacts are occupied, please leave a prayer after the beep *beep*’’ You do.

“Farewell Anon, and thank you for the yummy meal you are about to deliver. May the meatball god turn you into a most delicious bun for your next life and may you find a lady bun that loves you too. May her musky sauce and quivering noodles show you the way to meatball paradise!’’

“Have a nice rest of your day, and you will probably be called back as soon as we’re able” the connection is lost once again.

A boyish voice is suddenly heard “Sup Rum” you look at the source of the voice

“What’s with that weird posture? Nice catch you got there by the way”

Standing there next to anon is your friend in all her glory. Cape fluttering in the wind, pretty fireflies all over her as if she's sparkling and her face is covered by shades similar to yours. it all ends with a confident smile...she really loves the dramatic and it shows on the one and only Bug that lightens the Night. And she’s taking the first bite. She’s taking the first bite

How dare you Wriggle! The first bite is always the best one!

You quickly run up and chew on one of anon’s legs. Those are the most muscular and healthy parts of an human’s body after all.

High on protein too!

Wriggle doesn’t say more and calmly continues to eat as well. She knows that you don’t like to talk with your mouth full. And you appreciate her understanding it.

After a few minutes of quiet eating, anon has become nothing more than bones!

You are not satisfied by just this. “Let’s hunt for more!”

You hunger for anon
“Hm?” Wriggle is cleaning her teeth with a stick. “You’re saying this fatso got twins or something?”

“Of course! It’s anon season!” You reply in joy.

And lie down to make bone angels out of anon. “There’s going to be lots of them here soon, and I’m going to eat them all!”

(Can I speak now? Wait no that’s the middle of an conversation. Ahem fine I’ll take a coffee break for now. Just genuflect or something once you’re ready for your next task)

Wriggle nods and lies on his side relaxed. Just doing nothing after a meal feels so good~ “Sounds like quite the adventure” the excitement in her voice can't be more obvouis.

“It’s going to be the BEST adventure! Want to join me?” You chirp.

“Nah” Wriggle refuses to join the party daw. “Thanks for the meal but I’m busy right now” she frowns.

“Busy with what?” You reflexively ask.

“Cirno has gone missing" She gets up and continues "Last time she was seen she said she was going to have a rematch with the witch. But she didn’t specify which witch so it’s up to me to find out!”

“What of the mansion?” You suggest, that’s close to the lake no?

“Noone saw her there, Dai has gone to infiltrate the house too by like becoming a fairy maid or something?” She shrugs and waves a hand.

A bunch of fireflies swarm together to create the shape of the number two. “That leaves the doll freak and laser bitch” you could have used your hand for the wait what!?

Colour leaves your face at their mention and memories of dolls stabbing through your flesh, lasers piercing your skin and many more unpleasant things come to mind. Lucky for you your SUPERIOR shades make you look unfazed.

Yeaaah that sounds like a bad time!

[] Oh….I-I can help!
[] Good luck! You got anons to hunt!
[] Genuflect
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[X] I can help!

I have a dream: To reasamble team 9 and defeat the legion that is Anon.

If Magic Team has to be in the way then so be it.
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[x] Oh….I-I can help!

Glorious team 9 fanon for killing Anon!
Our battle will be legendary!
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[x] I can help!
I'm not sure how useful Daiyousei or Cirno will be for the hunt, but FRIENDS.
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BWahahaha I am the queen of comedy
You shake away the fear by moving your head out and about in a rotational manner,
that means shaking the fear away just so you know. Kind of overly fancy to say huh.

Anyway you bravely declare “I can help! With your two eyes and my two eyes we will have twice the amount of eyes to look for Cirno!” and show Wriggle your hand for the good old gesture.

“Really?” she shakes it with a firm grip, smiling again “I hoped you would say that”

“And afterwards both of you can help me hunt Anon!” you are a smart youkai.

“So you’re only coming so you can eat?” that was not an wholesome tone.

“Say that again but in a more wholesome way” you defend your honor.

“So you’re only coming so you can consume?” somehow that sounds even worse.

“Yes!” You’re given up glad she understands, this way you can help your friends and then have them help you

She shrugs, as if she did not know what to expect but this. “Fine by me, anyway where should we go?” she asks YOU for some reason.

“Why are you asking me?” you ask back a question to her question, which is quite improper for a question demands a answer and an ans-you feel like this bit was already done and stop. “Are you lost? You live here!” you move to outstretch your arms as an exclamation but they are already in that position so instead you do nothing but wiggle your fingers a bit.

Her arms go to support her head like a pillow? It looks like a pose that indicates she’s thinking but chilling at the same time “My bad, I mean which witch house should we visit first? The doll one is most likely home at this hour but the other one you never know….we could trash her place if so~”

Sounds like fun “And you’re certain one of them has Cirno?”

She nods “Not really, but they’re aren’t many witches out here now are there? Hell even both of em could know where she went. She’s not hard to notice” that’s saying it mildly.

“Okay, and why is this is my decision again?” you ask her again.

“Because you’re the boss?”

“I’m the boss? The boss of what?”

“The boss of this *team*” she waves her hands “Even if that’s only cause you keep insisting on it. How could you forget that?” she asks as if it’s an actual problem. Probably sarcasm.

“Do you remember your failed insect services?” you snark back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Wriggle says a bit too hurriedly.

You helpfully clarify “You tried to make insects more useful to society or whatever but ended up ge-“

“That’s enough chatting!” Wriggle kicks your knee to make you shut up. It did not hurt “SO Alice’s house or Marisa’s house. Which one do you want to go to?”

“Gettingburnedoutslashboredandgaveupafteronly2weeks!” but no social standard can stop you.

“Whatever” Rubbing her chin in mild annoyance, the wriggle continues “You’re trying to annoy m-“

“Hehe~” you wave your hands up and down like a nightbird “Would you say that I am bugging you?” and move your eyebrows up and down like you’re a comedic genius for that pun. “GET IT?” you keep grinning.

“Why you pfah” She stops herself, a laugh almost escaping her as takes deep breaths. “Stop”

“What’s wrong? Do you dislike the way I move my eyebrows? The way I wriggle them?”

“PFFf-Stoooooooop~” and now she’s holding her stomach. “You’re not clever!”

“Not clever? I thought I was Rumia!”

“STOP….just...aaaahh I will not laugh” Damn she’s good at holding it in. her body is shaking and her face is red “I am ABOVE this witless banter” and she flies away expecting me to follow.

Well you're not!

[ ] Keep going.
[ ] Nah, that’s enough.

Also where to go?

[ ] The domain of the doll-maker.
[ ] The ordinary abode of an magician.

[ ] Genuflect.
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[x] Keep going.
Make this a thing when interacting with everyone, no matter the tension

[x] Lets bother Marisa.
What could go wrong?
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[x] Nah, that’s enough. THIS TIME!
Rumia the Punful

[x] The overly cluttered abode of a magician.
Marisa's house cannot physically get any dirtier. Any wreckage we can cause would only make it cleaner.
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You float after Wriggle, carefree like the wind and deadly like a rock~
Actually rocks aren’t that dangerous now are they? Unless they come at your head at like a high enough speed to make your skull crack like an egg. An anon omelettes sounds nice

“Let’s go to the witch house! The laser one” you clarify while next to Wriggle “Also nice pun~”

Wriggle simply nods and fastens the pace “What pun?” occasionally dodging a tree or bird.

You soar through the sky with your fellow hunter, the fluttering of your clothes and your chit chat being the only noise an prey from below could hear before you’d dive at them. But by then it’d be too late of course~ the reaction time of the victim would only have the time to register their last thoughts. “Oh no” or “Why is it so dark all of a sudden?” sometimes both!

“Nothing” you know better than to explain a joke, once someone does that it stops being funny and looks outright desperate if anything. Naturally you know this because you are you. Acting cute or like an awkward dork makes it easier for prey to lower their guard only for the little girl to snap their neck!

Truly you are an threat to mankind~

But that is enough self-titbits! You have a Mari-An Anon to hunt! Forget the former cause she can and will kick our cutie patooties like uuh…. ”What rhymes with patooty?”

“Cutie, smoothie, beauty?” She looks at you for a short sec “Can you take this seriously please?” her tone is mild mix of scolding and tiredness “I don’t want to hear this all day kay?”

“Okay, in that case I’ll go full speed now!” you start to gather most of your power…

“Oho so you want to race?" a glint comes in her eye but she quickly feigns disinterest with a yawn "Maaan~ I'm not sure...what does the winner get?" You know she's interested.

"They'll get uh dibs on the first shiny thing we find!" of course you'll win anyway.

''Hmmmmmm....let me think~" Wriggle rubs her chin, snaps her finger and points it at me "Okay but I get to do the countdown"

"That's fine by me"

"Okay I'll count to 10, prepare yourself" and she starts to focus as well.

Both of us land at the ground and get on our feet. ready to fly off anytime!

You turn off all outside filters, no visuals, no sound, only the beating of your own heart can be heard.
You are Rumia. Master of the Night, Maiden of the Shadows. Lord of Darkness. It is through your efforts that people no longer let their kids play in the woods nor do couples in love frolic in the bushes due to their of you! You are the terror in the shadows, the fear of the dark incarnate and you LOVE your job: To consume them hummie-"10!'' and your world turns upside down.

“Sucker!” and Wriggle uses the opportunity to dash ahead! How dare she interrupt your musings! “It doesn’t matter how fast or strong you are if you’re smart. Cause the smartest always win!”

Darn it, you were about to give an awesome cha-Ugh screw it! MOON SIGN : MOONLIGHT RAY!

Two blue balls of an aquamarine shade come forth from your hands, “FIRE!” and they turn into fierce streams of twin lasers that you aim behind yourself, the knockback is like having a rocket attached behind yourself as your speed goes up to ELEVEN. Or TWELVE? Whatever.

Your surroundings become blurry and your eyes watery as you turn into a yellow blur of death followed by a blue trail of bullets, tears and some mild regret at not better considering the consequences of your actions. Too late to stop though!

Trees! Rocks! Fairies! You have to change your position almost every second to avoid the many obstacles that come from flying at a higher speed than one is used to! Your eyes water! your head is ringing! and frankly your bowel doesn’t feel too stable now! BUT YOU WILL NOT STOP!

And something gets smacked into your face. "Tell me, have you played Ra-'' you push it off your face and quickly continue! No time for random encounters!

Indeed for the little Night bug is but a little distance away, unaware of your sudden increase in max velocity and soon she will obtain a new surprise. Wriggle Sign: Little Bug Storm! Oh no

Dozens of bullets are heading your way and you’re going too fast to dodge them Wriggle turns around mid-flight and pulls her tongue at you, taunting you once again before continuing. She’s confident in her win due to the thing above and the fact the bullets encircle her, becoming denser and denser as one approaches like a shield. It is both an attack and a defence! A marvellous strategy!

The worst part is you have to go through it. You are going too fast to take a sudden turn left or right and have the feeling she would simply reposition herself in front of you.

What to do in this situation? You could try to simply grit your teeth and hope the bullets won’t knock you out cold thus making you fall down and eat dirt like a loser or you could try to lower your speed and accept the fact that she outsmarted you….except not.

This thing is on timeout and has 20 seconds left to go, the not having brakes was not a metaphor.

So you’re between a rock and a hot place. The kind of place you have to choose yourself! Like meatballs in a soup!

You have no idea who the voice is!

You feel like there's something on your leg!

You can't believe Wriggle outsmarted you!

But most importantly!


[ ] UP TO 20!
[ ] Slow down at any cost! with no pain hopefully.
[ ] Throw whatever has hanged onto you.
[ ] Genuflect.

Author note: By the way how does the pacing feel to y'all?
This is rather simple for me to update, so I can even just continue the moment anon has come to a decision instead of waiting 24 hours first.
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[x] Use whatever is hanging on to you as a shield, go UP TO 20!
I'm ok with any update speed, just don't go and burn yourself out.
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[x] Use whatever is hanging on to you as a shield, go UP TO 20!
Stowaways are to act as part of the crew!

Pacing is good so far. Daily is nice, but it's nice to see things relatively consistent in update size. Keep at it at a suitable pace for fun updates like these have been!
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Never skating again
That’s right! You’re a little widdle girlie!

Wait no you’re not, you totally meant Monstar!

The coolest kind of monster!

You own coolness aside you look down at your leg to see what the stowaway is.

It’s a cardboard box looking creature with a huge face and tiny arms that look way too realistic.

It’s ugly as fuck, therefore it deserves to die. That’s the rule of the jungle.

It looks like it’s been speaking the whole time it was attached to you.

“Play it now and get a extra two thousa-“ you don’t care and pick it up with our jaw.

You are one nimble girl, like a tiger that followed yoga class-why is the ground so close now?

Ah your arms are pointing upwards now becau-NO TIME TO THINK ACT NOW!

The following seconds were a blur but if you had to resume it in one word it’d be: Box surfing.

Somehow you managed to get on top of the box and use it’s body against the ground like a meat shield, your balance is all over the place but now none of the bullets are reaching you.

But why? …oh! It’s because you went down! You couldn’t go left or right but there was no such restriction against going up or down! 3 dimensional movement are the best!

Except Wriggle doesn’t take too long to notice and tries to float closer to the ground. ''Oh no you don't!" and she shoots more aimed shots at you as she goes down bit by bit. the opportunity slowly closing.

“Oh yes I do” but you won't let your chance go away and increase the pace, it feels like you could fall off any moment but now wasn't time for fear nor restraint. no now was DO OR DIE time.

UP TO 20 YOU LITTLE BUG SUCKER! MOON LIGHT SIGN: MOON RAY (LUNATIC) your speed goes UP TO 20 and BEYOOOND, the speed so fast the box goes off the ground. you're going completely blind now!

RIGHT BACK AT YA YA SHADOW LOSER!: FIREFLY SIGN: METEORS ON EARTH ( LUNATIC ) Wriggle decides at the last possible moment that if she can't stop you from passing. then she'll have to CRASH into YOU!

Time slows to a crawl as the view of you and Wriggle escalating what was supposed to be a small game into an outright life or death competition comes to your mind. why is this happening again? there was a price right?

A small moment of pre-about to do something awesome clarity comes over to you: that's simply how your nature is like. as a youkai it is only normal to have your blood boil for conflict and violence. it makes one feel alive.

It's why most of your social life are dick measuring with the others, who's the strongest against Cirno, who's the most charming against Mystia and who's the smartest against Wriggle. these bastards add spice to your life.

Boy do you love them for it! and you feel like you're going a bit too far. someone might actually get hurt.

Only a micro second before the impact, you decide to do a small flip so the stowaway can cushion most of the blo-

*BOOOOOOM!* it explodes into bloody gibs the moment both of feet hit each sides as everything goes black...

….You wake up in complete darkness, the surroundings feel tight, dry and isolating as if something or someone is trying to choke you in a sea of nothingness.

Moving around feels hard for some reason, like a bunch of stones are crushing your windpipe while you await a most agonizing death...if you were human that is.

Wait that aside did you just die? You’re covered in blood but wait no it isn’t yours. Oof.

The first thing you do is lick it. that's only common sense.

You smack your lips a bit and let the flavour roll around a bit in your tongue trying to see if you recall anything about it….
yep that is definitely anon blood.

Anyway there really isn’t much to do here other than question how your life went?

You feel like you definitely won that race so perhaps it was all worth it? Definitely! You have no regrets in life!

Except eating more anon, they all tasted so good. It makes your stomach rumble~

You decide to not die for today (Come on, dying on an empty stomach?) and climb your way up through the darkness you are in? you definitely feel solid stuff when you can scratch around so perhaps you were buried alive?

Your musings don’t last long though as soon you see the light!

….And garbage everywhere once you exit the sea of items your corpse as a short acquaintance off.

The room you were in could have been the personification for chaos if you were such a fancy of gal to describe things like that: there are books on the floor, chairs on what seems to be the ceiling? Liquids leaking from surfaces that don’t look so wholesome and a giant girl shaped hole coming out from one of the walls nearby.

You wonder who’s responsible for the latter. What a rude way to enter

You dust yourself off and hear some moans when you walk by another hump of items. Ghosts?

It’s kind of spooky. What if the items were sentient and wanted to consume you?

Anyway you’re in item hell, there’s no Wriggle but you remember your reward! You get to pick the first shiny thing you want in this place right? Let’s go for the looooooot!

[ ] Ooh, that’s a shiny lamp. Let’s rub it!
[ ] Ooh, those are some yummy legs sticking out. Let’s eat em!
[ ] Ooh, that’s a nice mini furnace. Let’s have a barbeque!
[ ] Oooh, is that a chainsaw?? let's cut anons with it!
It's assumed that you only pick one of the above

[ ] Call out for Wriggle
[ ] Escape item Hell
[ ] Genuflect.

Author note: Thanks for comment on the pacing and will keep it in mind.
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[x] Oooh, is that a chainsaw?? let's cut anons with it!

[x] Call for Tewi Wriggle.
We came here to find a Cirno, we ain't going back now.
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[x] Ooh, those are some yummy legs
[x] Don't eat em raw! oil em! boil em! put em in a soup!

[x] Call for Wriggle.

I think that's Marisa under the pile. let's interrogate here for where the strongest is.

But if it's just a bunch of legs.

[x] Rub dat lamp
[x] Wish for Cirno.
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[x] Pic Related
[x] Escape item Hell.
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[X] Ooh, those are some yummy legs sticking out. Let’s eat 'em!
- [X] Roast 'em with the mini furnace!
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Rumia#65 (GARR)
77 101 97 110 119 104 105 108 101 32 105 110 32 119 111 114 108 100 115 32 115 105 109 105 108 97 114 32 116 111 32 111 117 114 115 32 97 110 100 32 116 105 109 101 115 32 111 110 99 101 32 112 97 115 115 101 100 58:

Time: 9: 30 Pm ; Date: 07/07/17
Location: Marisa’s house #68B

You look at the items for a second, they all look so nice.

You wonder if you could just take them all and leave with em?

Nah, you walk towards what you think was a chainsaw and pick it up.

It is a chainsaw! With a black handle and pink blades it looks really girly!

It also has your name engraved on it? So it must be yours!

You hold it with both hands and pull on the whatchacall thingie that makes it go vrrrrr vrrrrrr~

VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! yeah just like that! Now that it has turned o- IIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAVVVEEEEEEEEEE AWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKEEEEEEEEEENEEEEEEEEEEED!! the chainsaw shouts out a deep voice, filled with joy and relief as it glows luminescent.

You drop it cause objects don’t talk. It IS possessed after all. So back to the trash!

OW, You fucking bitch! Who in the nine fucks just drops a man like that!? Do you wanna die is that it? Where are you motherfucker!? Come here so you can buy the farm! it starts to sink into the trash Wait….no no! no! NO! I don’t want go to back in there! Someone! Anyone pick me up! I WAS KIDDING BRO! IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO! You just watch it slowly sink. The regret and fear oozing out of it filling a little bit of your appeti-


“Why are you calling me master?” you pick it up, your curiosity is aroused like a musking elephant.

Who said tha-ah It doesn’t have eyes but you feel a gaze regardless. M-master! You’re alive! and now you can swear it feels like it’s about to burst into tears. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

“??” you frown for a moment. Did you really know this thing? You’re certain of not. “Stop lying!”

………. It stays quiet.

You stay quiet.

The yummy legs nearby are moving and mhhhhm and hnnhhgggh noises can be heard from it.

Those moe moe~ bastards got to you didn’t they? Fucking anons just brainwashing little girls like that. Do you REALLY not know who I am? Not even the slightest feeling of familiarity?

You shake your head “Never met you in my whole life~” and start to get confused.

I’ll make it short then since we don’t have much time: You and me have GARR POWER. The epitome of what is COOL, GREAT, AWESOME, MANLY! all in one energy source.

Our goal is to defeat the stupid evil power that is MOE. The power of all that is frail, dumb, cute and WEAK! I am MOEFIRMANATOR: THE MACHINE THAT MAKES LITTLE GIRLS INTO BIG MEN! and you are Rumia: Big Strong Little Girl Man and wielder of ME. The magical organization of MOE: Magical Organization of Ethicality also known as a bunch of fucking mary sues out to ethnic cleanse the SHIT out of anything that isn’t wholesome has found it’s way into this la-

“Make it shorter!”

Help me CUT APART *magical SPACE nazis that are out to make everyone BORING and PEACELOVING. Via BRAINWASHING HEADPATS if you don’t COMPLY* by GUTTING and RIPPING the shit out of em using ME as your GARR WEAPON to keep the fuckers PERMADEATH!

“So you want to hunt anon with me?”

Are these anons characters that are either batshit unpredictable or mind numbingly boring due to how Overpowered they are? Nator something inquires.

“Sure? I’ve like killed two with almost no effort so far .Unless that’s only on easy mode? What’s an easy mode anyway? Does that mean things will become harder?” you ask

That works just fine by me. You want something dead or ripped apart then I’m your weapon Master! Let us carve a path of blood and head to the garden of manliness! it ignores the question.

“I’m still not convinced” everything it said sounds like a bad story. A shitty one even.

They’re going to make everyone vegetarian if they win

Let’s kill those fuckheads ” you pick up the engine of death and hold it in front of you, the weight, the sound of the blades moving…it somehow feels right to ya.

(RUMIA, YOUKAI OF DUSK. YOU PUT THAT OBJECT DOWN RIGHT NOW!) and another voice come-oh no she’s just back.

“Why?” You don’t outright say no since she got you two free meals.

(WHY? Be- because that’s a! THAT”S A ANON OBJECT YOU…) the voice takes a deep breath (Look, that’s an anonymous object you’re holding. It’s not some youkai nor magical object. That right there is one of the many anomalies trying to enter the forest. Anons can be anything and anyone and that is an anon)

An anon? what kind of lies did this PUSSY put through your brain master? I only live to cut down the flesh of your foes. No more no less. What’s there to be suspicious about? Fucking hell

(Rumia listen to me! We’ve only known each other for like a few minutes and sure I could have better explained some stuff before just throwing into stuff but you need to DROP that thing.

Believe in me! That’s an anon object out to derail all of our efforts and to make your life end into a freaking mess. YOU MUST NOT TRUST IT. I’ll explain everything if you just leave now. Drop the chainsaw! Actually don’t touch anything you found. Just burn it all or something!)

….To be honest, they’re both pretty suspicious now that you think of it.

Don’t they both want you to you just kill people? Not that you mind since people are yummy but any adventure that’s like all difficult and no fun is no good either.

Yeah they’re not trustworthy.

Is that the right word? not to say they seem deceitful but hey you've only known them for so long.

But you know someone who you definitely trust!

WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ” You call out for your friend, please hear my cry for aid you Bugger “I HAAAAAAAAAVE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD” you say afterwards just to tempt her into running for you.
Unless that’s for dogs and cats? Who cares. Let’s tune both voices out!

You hear a noise behind yourself and turn around ready for battle.

Suddenly 5 adolescent shinobi kappa have surrounded you. They don’t look friendly.

Except not, it’s just the legs. They grew a butt.

Does that mean they’re evolving? The secret behind the butt?

No, that sounds wrong. The secret inside the butt?

*Grumblies in the tumblies* Ah yes, you hunger for Anon butt.

But where does one find good food in this place?

Is there even a kitchen?

Will Mom and Dad get along? these voices ever shut up!?

Find out right now!

[ ] Trust the Saw, hunt for Moe (GARR route?) (Mutually exclusive from Voice)

[ ] Trust Voice, hunt for Anon (Anon route?) (Mutually exclusive from Saw)

[ ] Just focus on helping Wriggle for now. (Wriggle route?)


And what next?
[ ] Set the house on fire
[ ] Raid the house for food.
[ ] Why raid when those legs are right there?
[ ] Options from previous update are still viable too.

Author note: Instead of asking for a tie break. here's another update!

Not sure it this technically counts as filler since you got more info. I shall await you warmly!

Friendly Reminder: I feed on your doubt, that's not a confession to being a youkai

And minor confession: I almost forgot to update today, but no way am I breaking that streak now.
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[ ] Genuflect

I forgot to add that option!

I now officially deserve an thousand deaths!

Rumia versus the forces of Anon! CANCELLED!

Just kidding, but serouisly that's my bad.
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[x] The saw is AWESOME it's POWERFUL it's...unruly...

[x] Genuflect. The saw may only be kept if it vows to genuflect with us. Not, like, literally- you get the idea.

Oh, and
[x] Leg option
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It resonates with my soul!

[X] Make those legs into something yummy.

I'd sooner risk being manipulated by something that epic then be stuck listening to some boring voice.
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This is how one cooks a meal
On second thought it really doesn’t matter now does it?

You hunger for Anon

Saw hungers for Anon

We both hunger for Anon.

That makes the both of you kindred spirits!

You tighten your grip on saw to get it’s attention “I’m going to keep you on one condition”

And WHAT would THAT be Master? It immediately pays attention to you.

(Rumia you are making a deadly mistake!) Voice repeats itself like a radio.

You ignore it “You genuflect with me….to me! Vow that now and uh yeah”

That could have gone better, but you’ll get used to leadership eventually.

That’s all? Sure I can do that: I VOW to follow YOU as long as you do not become a FILTHY MOE~ propagandist or testosterone DRAINING BITCH. My power is yours MASTER!

MOEFIRMANATOR is now following you! (Default nickname is Saw).

That sure was easy, in a good way. Why you would ever complain about that is beyond yourself…which shouldn’t be the case since you’re you.

So what now Master? Is there anyone you wish torn asunder? Saw asks you as casually as one would ask the weather.

(I am not going to all-) IGNORED, you look around the place instead.

Your eyes return to the legs, and you approach them for it is time….

GOURMET TIME! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GunbSE2yrQ )

Behold, this is the proper way to enjoy a meal (but only in occasions where you actually have a kitchen, a house and time to waste which is rare for most forest youkai but hell if you’re not going to waste this opportunity)

Freshness: A respected Gourmet only uses the best ingredients, hence one always has to double check that their stuff hasn’t already rotten.

(This is Vile Rumia, vile you hear me?)

The legs have a nice white skin to them covered in black small shoes who themselves have a bit of white wrappings around them. So on a visual basis they seem fine if not give the whole meal the appeal of a pudding dessert.

Their touch is soft and warm and confirms that it’s the succulent meat of a young maiden at the prime of her age. Not only that but one can feel the heat of the blood flowing through her veins.

This means in most cases that you’re prey is FOCKING RAW

But you like them that way anyway so let’s continue!

Seasoning: A little bit of salt and oil can do wonders to enhance the flavour of an average dish into one that is well-made. Do keep in mind the allergies of your fellows since watching your snail bud melt to death isn’t no fun.

If you don’t LIKE it then why not try to STOP it WIMP? (I cannot for I’m not allowed to physically interfere for but a few special occasions…)

Sadly you could not find such things and so are just rubbing off some of the blood on your hands on the legs as a substitute. It’s kind of hard to do since it feels dirty and sticks to one’s hands like honey but you have a secret: Just use the tongue~ (WHAT!?)

That’s right, get your face close to those legs. And start lapping up the blood you got on your body so you can smear it all across the latter’s legs at an peaceful and serious pace. Make sure the skin ingests it all by adding an extra layer once you’re done with the first round. Rinse and repeat until that white skin now gleams like an evening sun.

Another step done. You truly are a master eater.

Oh and IF the legs start kicking around in a panic then simply back off for a moment and go fetch some proper restraints! You’d hate to get your shin kicked in while cooking now would you?

Avoid all kitchen danger! Not Kitten Danger! though you can see why anyone would make that mistake. Simply don't let any in your kitchen and that's one of the two removed.

(…This is wrong on so many levels Rumia) Ign (NO! You shut up for once! And listen to me! You listen to me! Cut it out! Only anon can be eaten!)

She isn’t going to do SHIT, have your fun master and IGNORE her. Bitch is all BARK and NO BITE! ....Maybe even a MOE BASTARD!?

(SHUT UP! That’s Marisa you’re trying to fucking vore! I’m warning you Rumia if you even pull one hair on her. If you show me that you really mean to eat her then I have no choice but to interfere!)

Sorry what was that? WOOF WOOF? ARK ARK?

Now finishing touch: listen carefully for these are the final steps: put your meal under some fire, oven or what have you for apparell.

Wait a bit and out it comes cooked and ready to be used! Sadly you cannot demonstrate this part for what you thought was a mini furnace was but an useless box of bollocks!

However you can still do the cuttings, and salting for preservation.

So let us start off our chainsaw and RI-*Ding Dong* one moment.

You put down the chainsaw and investigate the noise.

Someone just rung at the door. Who could it be?

You did not expect any guests today.

[ ] Open the door
[ ] Ask “Who’s there?”
[ ] Try to take a peek.
[ ] Invite them to dinner
[ ] Stay quiet and hope the person goes away.
[ ] Genuflect

[ ] Change Nickname of Follower.
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[x] Open the door
What are we gonna do? Hide the giant hole into the house?
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You open the door, what else can you do anyway?

That blond hair, weird eyes and blue skirt can only be one person.

It is Alice, the weirdo who plays with dolls all days.

“You look like you’re thinking of something rude” she says deadpan.

“I am not” you reply while standing in front of the door, making sure she cannot see the body behind you…wait you can’t see that from the door entirely.


“Ok” Alice looks you up and down before asking “May I enter?”

“No!” you reply immediatly.

That girl has the habit of ruining any meal you come accros by saving their lives whenever they manage to get close to her home.

She's an enemy!

You don’t want that to happen again “I am busy” you point up your chin to look stuffy “Very busy”

Alice tilts her head “I thought you were Rumia?” then nods “Regardless of your name. I must enter to reclaim what belongs to me” and looks you in the eye “By force of need be”

You frown a bit “What are you looking for?”

“My house” her voices becomes a bit sad now “I cannot find it”

“…This isn’t your house though?” where is she going with this?

“You misunderstand, I think Marisa has my house”

“What?” your brain is starting to tingle “Did she steal your house?”

She nods “Imagine my distress when I go to the human village to buy some groceries
Only to find my house gone the moment I return. All of my precouis dolls were in there too”

“You poor woman!” you start to feel bad for her.

“I know she’s an raging klepto but there’s a limit to what one can and should do!"

A doll comes out of nowhere and gives her an handkerchief. “Thank you Shanghai" and she uses it.

Wait a minute "You said all your doll-"

We really aren’t having a good day” she looks at you with sympathy.


“Why yes, you are covered in blood”

“It’s not mine~” you say defensively.

“A joy to the world” she grabs your hand “Could we have some tea? I’d love some calm after all this anarchy. And you seem like a generous host” her face is really close to yours now.

What does a host mean anyway?

[ ] Let her in, have some tea.
[ ] Handholding is too lewd, headbut!
[ ] This feeling….it is love!
[ ] Genuflect.
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[x] Headbutt/Spy Check

Alice is SUS, my belly button says so.
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(Image is a spoiler, don't look at it until indicated plz, unless tagging a pic nsfw doesn't hide it)

You frown at her, the puppeteer has never acted this familiar with you nor does her story really make a lot of sense right?

It’s all too convenient really.

So you lean your body backwards…

And smash your skull against her forehead!

An odd watery noise can be heard from the blow and you’re if it has hurt anyone since it felt like punching the mac-anon’s belly.

Probably her since her head just fell off, not like I-wait what?

https://youtu.be/XIxldaEVSOQ (You may look at the image now)

The headless puppeteer slowly looms back up.

Her no it's size increasing as her arms stretch in an unnatural way.

Odd scars and stitches replace the once white skin and turn it an aged dusty grey.

“ruMiA” black ooze pours out its neck as it speaks

“YoU aRe” it becomes bigger and less like Alice as time goes on.

“VeRY rUdE” yet it sounds happy?

Just like earlier it’s tone comes off as odd. “bUt cLeVeR…bRaVo fOr sEeIng tHrOugh mY rUsE”

It tends out an bloated hand towards you.

The scent of death fish and nails black as charcoal show that touching it would be an bad idea.

So you don't.

You also take a step back to give it space “Who….no WHAT are you?” you ask with curiosity.

“KUHuHuhU~” it has no mouth yet you hear it laugh. “I’M jUsT yOur frIEnd?”

You shake your head “You’re smelly, weird and quite ugly. And I was never friends with Alice?”

“KUhuU-EGho~” it cackles to some joke only it understands “YOu aRe so cUtE RUmI, sO YoUnG aNd fIlLeD wItH JOY, yoUr lOvAbLe sKiN fReSh aS a sPrInG leAF. ThAt sUnNy lOoKing haIr aNd thOsE bEaUtIGul crImSoN PeEpErS aRe sYcH a joY tO lOoK at…yOu’Re vErY prEtYy RUmIa. wAnT tO bE fRiEnDs?” something wooden starts to grow out of the stump you made, it continues growing…

“Nah~” You just refuse her like that “I’ve got enough pals already, also you’re ugly!” you laugh.

It stops laughing and just stares at you

You stare back all smile “UUUuuuuuuglyyyyyyyyyyyy” and you giggle as you taunt it.

(What the duck are you doing, do not agitate it) oh and the voice is back again.

“NoW nOw rU-“Ugly like a dead cat, ugly like a rat. Ugly like something that’s better off dead!” you interrupt it to create a new song. The ugly song! For things just like these.

(Don't care if you'll listen to this or not but you have to hear it: That is not an ordinary Anon it is a Fanon Master. a creature more powerful and rarer than most anons you would meet during your hunt. they have the ability to influence people if not outright posses them and cannot be reasoned with. It will kill you for the fun of it so run! run for your life because there's no way for you to possibly defeat such a thing in your current stage! this is Hard mode Rumia!)

“…..” All of it turns to flies as it gains a new form: an amalgamation of Alice and not Alice is born before you, fierce wood like antennas are on its head now and two small dolls decorate it. Only one looks similar to it as the other has green hair accompanied by a cutesy cape, both seem more alive than it. The face of it has not been properly restored as the eyes are empty and the nose outright gone. The mouth is however still there with rows and rows of teeth in it, they are stained black by the eyes oozing ooze into the mouth and overall it gives it a more wilder impression. The arms and hands have become the size of your skull…No it could crush you with one hand and larger than the item hell house. It seems to have outright lost all sense of fashion at the lower body since that one resembles a fire fly larva with it’s tough hides and several insect legs, it’s a new breed of doll, insect and whatever it was made off.

“YOuR imMaTuRe bEhAvoIR iS sUcH a sHaMe…I WiLl hAvE tO tAkE yOuR bOdY aFtEr yOu’Re DeAd” an edge is behind it’s voice and dolls spawn out of the body, their appearances a pitch perfect copy of him except for the heads, those are comically larger than their own bodies.

Also they wield weapons, how convenient.

Your weapon is still inside the house, how inconvenient.

You can’t help but continue giggling “Scary~ but that won’t happen if I eat you first!” why would you fear it? it's nothing but a fake youkai right? "You smell like an Anon"

“J̷͈͕͕̹̄͂̽ơ̶͕̣̞͍̭̝̜̹̠̥͝I̶̻̦͗̀́̓͆̑͌̌̚͝n̶̙̙̬͓͙̗̑̀͘ ̷̝̲̱̦̹͕̣̽̊̓̂̔̓͜͜t̸̤̬̫̬͇̎̽̀̇̀͊̅͗͑̚H̷̛̙͎̺̤̩̙̖͈̓͗̏̾͘͜͝͝͝ę̶͔͖̜̀͆̏̅͜ ̸̢̧̢̬͖̃͗̽̑̎̕̕͝F̵̢̩̹̲͈̞̙̀̊̽̾̒͑a̵̲̜͈͔̠̫̻͇͂̈́̀M̶͓͖̼̺͗̐̈́̍̉͊į̷̬͙̞̳̘̌́̏̉̅͐̓L̶͔̟̀͂͑̈́́̃̇͛̚͠y̶̡̥͙͖͌͛͂̇̋̏̓̚ ̶̡̛̜͔͎̱̙̭͍̊̅̾̍̂́͘ͅr̸̡̼̟͚̱̺̼̒̍Ǘ̶̲͖̱̞͍̠͔͓̙͈̋͗́̐̎̋̓͊m̶̜̋ͅi̸̤̣̱̻̻̠͈̓̃͐̏̐̃̂̚͠͝À̴͔̙Ȁ̷̲̦̻͖̖̤̮͚A̴̢̭͚̝̹̲̩̝̠̳̿͌̄̑̎́̈́̈̀͘A̸̡̧̲͇̭̻̥̋ͅͅÄ̶̗́̉̅̀̎͊͑̌͊À̶̘̠͙̻̕͜!̵̀̈́̕
̧̬̠̣̺̳̻̍̒͌͘͜”̴̯̘͎̩̖͈̮̖̂͒̃͆̀̓͌͑̅͐!” The battle cry has been shouted, its arms swing towards you trying to crush you, dolls charge to impale you with their weapons and you…

You are going to fight! (Music changes to https://youtu.be/dnM-AGiAtxk for the following posts.)

You are the Youkai of Dusk, the lurker in the night. The one that humans fear and run from at sight

Though your heritage may be unknown and obscure, your youkai blood is boiling hot.
You know the odds are low, and you don’t know where your friends are either but that doesn’t mean now is the time to get scared or give up!

(...I knew you would say that. There is no controlling you after all. Heavens know I tried to do my job properly too...
But the least I can do is help you regardless. I'll observe the fight and will see if I notice any weaknesses or have any hints to give....like try to free the host? it's but a parasite corrupting someone... never mind that was kind of an random suggestion, the only way to help them now would to beat it out of them probably...sorry info is low on these since again rare.

Just press Get a clue whenever it's available. No shame in doing so.

Anyway as your guide I will do my best to make sure that the hunt will proceed smoothly)

Your heart is beating with the heat of an raging fire! Your friends are spread throughout the land! But no Anon will get to stand in your way! Feel the might of the shadows! The darkness that can overcome even the fiercest of light! Prepare yourself for Rumia!

A hopeless battle starts: Fanon Master: Yandere Alice wants your body!

Rumia versus the forces of Anon!

[ ] Darkness! use the opportunity to go for the first strike!
[ ] Retreat inside! Get rid of the minions in the house!
[ ] Curtain Fire! Fly and shoot to outmanoeuvre em!
[ ] Write in.

[ ] Genuflect. Rumia refuses to surrender!

Easy Mode has ended, Rumia's plot armor is gone so in circumstances like these you can now die!
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[x] Retreat inside, Get Marisa, destroy the minions.
By Okina, I hope Marisa is still herself. And that she can be woken up without to much trouble. And that she can help fight quickly
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Ayup she KO
You Rumia are about to be crushed into paste and turned into a pincushion by something that may or not be out of your league.

(What are the odds of one little girl beating up an eldritch creature?)

Surely one can use the power of friendship to prevail against all odds or something along the lines like that…

(Yeah no, fighting that head on is just begging for death. )

So you shoot a laser to force yourself backwards. The gigantic hand crushes the spot you were just on as your ass is knocked back inside the house.

The bug-dolls? give chase immediately like wild dogs out on a hunt.

You quickly get up and slam the door shut before a bunch of spears stick out from the other side like raindrops.

The dolls are beating against it and will soon manage to get inside, even faster once they realize there’s a big giant hole just on the other side of the place.

There’s no time to lose!

But what does one do now? Make up a battle plan?

Yeah that sounds correct! But how does that work?

You try to think calmly, the thing is big and can make dolls but it also has insect powers…so it’s faking to be both Alice and Wriggle?

The strengths of both and the weakness of neither? Wait no that’d be BS.

(Again, that kind of bullshit is one of their main traits)

Enough! Think BIGGER! it is BIG therefore it is an easy target. Just shoot the hell out of it with DANMAKU and avoid melee range and you’ll be fine!

Wait no that’s an assumption too!

You feel like you're panicking and slap yourself. FOCUS Rumia! You can do this!

But CAN you even hurt it? You’re not sure, you’d need one hellavu LASER to pierce through that insect hide!

(If only you knew someone who could shoot Big lasers)

Wait a minute: Big + Laser= The Master spark! The mea-Witch can help! Her firepower could disintegrate all of it!

You rush deeper into the house and almost fall because objects are littered everywhere and manage to make it back to where you were.

The butt is still there! you approach it an-*Boom!* the sound of an explosion rings through the house, they blew up the door.

You get to the other side of the pile and start digging with one hand, ready to shoot out spray of bullets with the other. You know the witch is awake and struggling in there probably. She didn’t shout or anything so perhaps she’s lying down th- Bullets incoming!

You hide behind cover as six dolls shoot red lasers in unison at you lock you down while another double trio slowly crawl towards your cover armed with spears ready for murder.

Dolls that can strategize is cheating! or is that the bug part of em acting?

No choice but to go all out! You jump out and use NIGHT SIGN: NIGHT BIRD! Light and Dark Blue bullets come swaying out from left and right like the waves of a beach, their tempo gives the image of a bird beating it’s wings ! They force the dolls back to the defensive, the melee ones instantly fall due to their proximity. 6 down instantly

But the ranged support stops and calmly proceed to dodge the Curtain Fire, but even though their movements are slow and precise 2 more fall. (That leaves only 4)

The fancy thing about Spell cards is that they’ll keep shooting until the user has been hit a certain amount of times or enough time has spent. (Typically between 20 and 30 seconds but for simplicity you made all yours last 25)

Ergo this lets you multitask.

Aka they’re stalled, and that gives you the time you need to…

Pull the witch by her legs and force her out like a plant out of a field, and you again just barely dodge the pile trying to bury both of you.

Other than the bloodied legs (thanks to your masterful saucing), the girl only has dust and some other junk stuck over her clothes. Her head has a large bump and she’s sleep talking. Also her hat seems to have some potions hidden in it. You know cause a red one just dropped. She looks so yumm-no bad Rumia!

You slap her several times “Wake up! There’s a monster out to eat you! Yes I count! But someone else too! WAKE UP SAUCY LEGS!”

She doesn’t even respond as her cheeks become red from the impacts.”Hng…I’ll never tell where the boss is ze!” Oh god she really is in dreamlands huh, those were hard slaps too!

You wonder who’s responsible for this condition, this isn-you feel a stare drilling on your back….it’s behind you isn’t it?

(It is)

“RuMiAAAA~” Not-Alice can be heard through the hole in the wall. with its head on the ground you see one eye staring at you “cOmE tO mAmA~” it begins to make the hole larger as it inserts one finger, two fingers inside Marisa’s sanctuary and then tries to go pincer you with them as if they’re chopsticks and you a delicious snack. “don’t rUn!” it orders with a annoyed voice as it’s finger aren’t even close to getting you.

"Sorry, I'm a big girl now~" Cause you shoved the witch over your shoulder and backed off like a normal person…only to feel the sensations of a sharp needle burning your back ouch!...that vicious feeling clearly comes from danmaku.

You turn around and see the 4 remaining dolls slowly approaching as well. They’ve gotten down the timing of the spell card.

Shit that means you’re surrounded on both ends.

How to get out of this?

You could just jump through a window. Even if humans tend to be injured from glass shards because of that…hell even paper can cut the weaklings...maybe she deserves to die then? How dare she be unconscious anyway?

Or perhaps just make a mad dash through either side. Sure Danmaku hurts a lot (That's an understatement) but isn't actually lethal though getting knocked out won't end peacefully.

(The chainsaw is also another option, even if I don't approve of it)

Where did it go anyw-Oh it’s just lying there! so you pick it up.

What’d I miss Master? Is it SLAUGHTER time? that honest question makes you look back at the boss…it is tempting.

But seriously it’s now or never!

[ ] Use your own power!
-[] Create a darknesss! (Range: Self, Specify. The whole area)
-[] Shoot a laser/Shot. (on who?)
-[] Use a Spellcard! (on who?)


[ ] Go through!
-[] The hole in the wall (Boss awaits you)
-[] The door (Dolls await you)
-[] The window! (None, still a risk)


[ ] Use an item!
-[] The MOEFIRMANATOR! (on who?)
-[] The potions! (on who?)
-[] The Witch! (KO)

[ ] Get a clue!
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[x] Use a blast of danmaku on the window, then fly through it.
Hopefully, Eintei is open for business. Or Marisa's coat is tough enough to deflect glass.
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[x] Use items
-[x]Potions to the hand
-[x]MOEFIRMANATOR to the dolls

[x] Get a clue!

We're Rumia carrying around Marisa, we need to take out targets if we plan to run. I'm also assuming that the spell card has at least ten seconds left to rush at least two dolls.
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[x] Throw Marisa at the dolls.

[x] Run away during the distraction.

The witch is a deadweight, save yourself

[x] Moon Sign: Moon light Ray the fuck out.
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The Dojo of Go Mojo
May as well have fun doing so


The world itself turns grey as time crawls to an halt.

Suddenly a voice can be heard.

Ladies and smaller ladies!

It is time for the one thing you've all been waiting for!

The Tiebreaker Dojo!


Starring your favorite hosts: The Guide, MOEFIRMANATOR and the Meatball God!

(It's a pleasure to be here~)

Ah HELL YEAH! I'm pumped and ready for CARNAGE

?................................? No response whatsoever.

Why ain't da HU answering? is she busy or wat?

(A god has to answer every prayer they get if I recall, and in times of crisises like these many people pray to deities no?
It's only natural that she's occupied since her job concerns working in the background too. I only hope she won't burn out).

Whatever, we're not here to talk about her anyway! The voters can't decide on what to do so we ought to fix that!

(Correct, but how would even start with that? they're fickle creatures and any vote is really a blessing itself)

Allow me to demonstrate:


See these two? THEY"RE FUCKING PUSSIES! How dare you RUN when you got ME to RIP AND TEAR the hell out of these bastards huh!? where is that GARR POWER inside your hearts punks!? Be manly dammit! pick me up, beat the shit out of these things and save your friend like a REAL MAN! OP foes or not, nothing can stop a m-

(SILENCE! Do not insult the voters!) *BONK* (Forgive it's indescritions, while running does involve abandonning your own friend. it is still valid for some things cannot be brute forced, is it not better to come back stronger and with more allies at the cost of being seen as cowardly than to die weak and brave and achieve nothing? >>31449 I do have to say that is quite a redundant thing to do. do you not think the enemy would just ignore the body and head for you since you're the larger threat...oh dear I just had an horrible thought)

And WHAT would that be?

(Well, like I said earlier. Fanon has the ability to possess other people. with that mention any power it's victims have become it's own right? The dolls of Margatroid and the insects of Wriggle prove that....what if it took Marisa?)

...You'd be 50 shades of FUCKED! imagine that thing knowing how to do an Master Spark or overall have it's destructive capabilities boosted by the shitton stuff she can do. let's avoid that as much as possible!

(True, but anyhow how long has it been that way? Rumia was with Wriggle just a few minutes ago and the anon invasion starts today so it couldn't have gotten Margatroid for very long either. so it can't have mastered their abilities nor find a countermeasure to any weakness the both might have and or share).

Eh, that's a nice thought and all but it doesn't matter if you don't have it. what are both bugs and dolls weak against anyway? hell if I know, but I got this to say: If you can't shank a fuck from the outside then go inside them and shank their meek insides! that's one hell of a way to take care of something bigger than you no? and those eye holes are just begging for it...if one can get past all that ooze yeah

(Maybe the ooze is inflammable? it's dark texture and slimy nature reminds me of Gasoline)

That's what I'm fueled by actually! I got enough in me to like last a dozen hours. it's the REAL manly noise ain't it?
Had to be procured by the liquids of dead dinos, aaaah if only I got to butcher one! that'd be the dream~

(You really like violence huh....)

I'm a chainsaw miss, knives live to be stabbed with. chairs live to be sat on and I live to SAW things down.
It's nothing but natural for me to desire that and I won't be shamed by it for you!

(Okay, Okay. Jeez I didn't know it was a sensitive spot for you. but anyway what else is left?)

The dolls on the antlers? they look weird I guess? if life was easy I'd bet those are the dried husks of your pals and if you cut them off they'd be freed or something? hell it could even kill em or just be smchuck bait. life is a mass of uncertain crossroads like that

(Back to one last thing then: Running away is valid yeah, and taking Kirisame to Eientei sounds like a good idea. Sure she'll be pissed off once she's treated but I'm certain she'd help once she knows her neighbor was taken as well.)

That is if the thing doesn't just chase you or follow you the whole way. Hell it could go for other residents in the forests if not Gensokyo in the background while you have fun at the Rabbit Hospital

(On second thought I don't think we are being very helpful now are we?)

One lad pressed the Get A Clue! button and the votes are tied anyway. this much info is stuff they should know anyway with some observation no? unless Rumia failed to understand all that but that's not our problem

(Uhuh, but what of the potions then?)

How would I know? read their label to see what they do. I doubt the girl would just carry them around unless they're useful no? honestly I think she can take the F-whatever was the name fuck if she just used the GARR inside herself.

(But what IS the GARR anyway?)

Is your brain rotten? it's everything cool and manly. Be bold and GARR will favor you duh!

(Mm, I see....and I've run out of things to say)

Same here, is that the end then?

(Yeah, though I do have to say you're acting a lot calmer midway this conversation. why is that?)

It would hurt my throat if I shouted all the time

(But you don't have one)

Still don't want to hurt it

That was the Tie Breaker Dojo!

Someone please vote to end this dillema!
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[x] Use items
-[x]Potions to the hand
-[x]MOEFIRMANATOR to the dolls
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Thats right its GARR POWA
A giant monster in front of you, willing yet unable to reach you due to size difference.

The house really is a temporary yet effective countermeasure against being crushed…probably due to the shitload of sharp objects there might be in here if it tried to just stomp on the house.

So you've got some time!

Except not because the murder dolls are still right behind you, the waves of bullets are still slowing them down but due to its simplicity is nothing more than a timer to them. One even returns fire to you,
another emboldened by this tries the same only to end up hit and dies.

You decide the dolls are the more immediate threats, and will CLAW!

You duck and feel a gust of wind come over your head once was, scythe like nails destroy some of the décor in the house and had you been any slower decapitated you as well. “mIsS” it growls annoyed.

Correction those aren’t nails; they are claws.

Not Alice lengthened her nails and turned them into actual scorpion claws somehow.

You decide it’s the bigger threat after all. You can’t lower your guard around either of em.

Hurriedly, you remove the hat from your dead weight and look at the first three things you can find in it: some red potion, a black pot and a cute ribbon.

Kind of garbage but it will do maybe?

“Take this!” you just throw the entire hat alongside those three at the hand in front of you!

The potion covers the hand in a liquid, but it doesn’t seem to harm it in anyway, the pot falls in front of it and only glows between black and white at an quicker pace as the second passes, and the rib- You remember something: the view of a mushroom cloud surrounded by fire and ashes…with the witch watching it all from above grinning in pride…oh no!

The pot is a bomb! THE POT IS A BOMB! It’s going to blow in a few seconds! You’re already rushing towards the entrance; the dolls are blocking passage. GET OUT OF THE WAY YO-

Master! USE me ALREADY! Say it’s slaughter time! Just say it! Okay fine!

“It is time!” you hold the Saw firmly with your right hand, again holding it feels just right “SLAUGHTER TIME!” you both declare in unison and it glows a red light aNd yOu-… あなたは素敵で魅力的ですが、あなたは男らしいアノンの力を召喚します! ガーパワー!ー!

An intense pain rings through your arm as your heart starts beating faster than it ever has, almost like it's about to rip out of your chest or die from exhaustion afterwards. Your vision becomes shaded with vermillion, your shoulder feels like it’s being pulled apart, you can hear a sharp ring in your ears. It hurts! Hurts! Hurts! Something is moving inside of you!

You try to remove it with tears in your eyes, but you can’t move, no one can move! your legs give up and you start to cry as the strange object rips apart flesh, breaks bones and bleeds you dr-it stopped.
It felt like an eternity but the intense pain stopped and you feel warm, your arm feels like it just had an hot shower. it feels as good new…and it is. Muscles that would fit on a bear, a weight that unbalances you and a length with which it can actually touch the floor and the hand part replaced with the end of an saw instead of fingers Our arm became that of an MAN!

(…I warned you Rumia, using an anon object is the same as letting it corrupt you. I hope you can turn back before it’s too late. But for now, try not to die and see the consequences of your foolishness)

We hunger for violence. EXTREME VIOLENCE even…and we know our target.

The dolls notice our change in demeanour and change their stratagem as well.
Instead of red lasers they shoot out a barrage of bullets, regardless due our speed and closing presence we can’t dodge em!

But we don’t need to!

We slump the witch of our shoulder and use her as a danmaku meat shield!

Even the useless can be useful in times like these, your imagination is the only limit on what one cannot do with an unconscious body!

Make a Marisa boat if you want to! A Marisa chair! or even a Marisa Cudgel!

Nothing can stop us now!

The bullets barrage her body and a few even graze us but we do not slow down one bit. “USELUSS!” and we’re at melee range. Time for the real fun.

“Catch!” We throw the witch at the first one and watch as it gets dragged outside by the force!
Then we dodge another shot from the second one and swing at it!

It dodges, but we continue undiscouraged! Some tables are smashed! And many more of the surroundings suffer our wrath. Nothing will stand in our way.

And it dodges again but again we swing! Swing! Swing! and spinning! We hit everything but the doll, yet your movements become faster and more precise the more your blood boils!

Swing and spin spin spin! We are a tornado of death! Nothing can stop us!

The doll’s body flies apart in three directions, black blood flying everywhere! and then another one follows when you pin it against the wall and slam your thing deep inside its guts, activate it and watch the blades RIP it apart from the inside out. THE GEARS ARE ON BABY!

YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS. This is what we live for! The heat of battle! We walk out of the house, a large BOOM and a sudden wave of heat hits our back but cool men do not look at explosion-and another BOOM comes and then another BOOM....and this time it burns our back so we immediately run away for our lives.

No point in being cool if an explosion fucking kills you, why is it happening anyway?

What was once a quant house is now the host of several explosions at once, flames cover the entire area as blue lasers shoot randomly and mushrooms clouds spawn one after another. There really isn’t a word for a gathering of explosions in one place sadly. Omniplosion!? Ultraboom?

How in the nine hells did she fit so much destruction in one hat anyway? Does she just carry those around like it’s no big deal? What if she ever dropped one by accident? That girl is a menace.

Anyhow we enjoy the cries of pain that come out of the monster’s mouth. That metallic and repugnant smell indicate it’s turning into a most fine barbecue. DI MOLTO!

What happened to the crazy bitch anyway? Oh, she’s right next to that tree a few feet away. Nothing but a few splotches of black blood on her too. guess the doll took most of the blow, a wonder she didn’t break her neck from us misjudging the strength of our new arm. Fhew!

We get closer to her and caress her cheek with our small left arm. Yup she’s still out of it…. hmm.
On closer inspection she’s quite a pretty one, isn’t she? That skin so soft and warm to the touch, that radiant blonde hair that smells like the forest, those healthy guts just waiting to be ripped out, those legs just asking to be cut into pieces….

We deserve a reward, don’t we? We’re saving her life so it’s not like she’ll miss an arm or a leg, right?

Yeah, that’s ok, we’ll just cut of one arm for the fu-

“AaGhAGHAhGHhAhJgHaAhGaAa” Ah fuck, there comes the cockblock.

We turn around, ready to slaughter whatever remains of that ugly mug…
A figure crawls from behind the wreckage that was the witch house, the mushroom cloud slowly evaporates as it slowly and we mean very slowly crawls towards us. We are quite some distance, so we whistle in mockery and tap our feet while we wait.

Fanon is still alive. Who would have guessed?

Though oh so scary Fanon looks heavily wounded, half of it’s face is gone and most of it’s body is has burn wounds or is currently burning to death. It’s eyes, hands. Literally everything is burning due to the ooze inside of its body. What kind of moron makes their own blood inflammable anyway?

But it refuses to just collapse and die, instead it decapitates itself for some reason and throws the head forward before the rest of it collapses and becomes fire fuel. Persistent bastard.

Oh well, we should be patient. We got a new body by fooling some dumb youkai after all. Can’t believe that moron actually believed the story of Garr and Moe! It was made up on the spot. Though the real joy is the fact the witch was a real blabber mouth. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have known her name.

Either way with this new body our killings can start ane-the head is giving birth.

The upper part of the head is cracking like an egg about to burst, like a miracle of life.

Actually no, more like something is burrowing out of it…oh oooh! We see now. It’s saving itself from the flames by cutting the only essential body parts it needs. Like how lizards can lose their tails this thing only needs one thing intact to survive! Fucking ty-
? Drrrrr! Drrrrr!”? what’s that noise?

A young girl’s voice speaks? ?Sorry for the wait! Our contacts are open once more, the boss will be calling you now? What are you tal-

?Hello? this is Rumia right? You genuflected a while ago, so I hope whatever trouble you have is now gone. If not, then I’m available to hear it now? A gentler and older voice can be heard now.

?Excuse me? “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”? Is that any way to speak to a god?”

Don’t care hag, we’re in the middle of something so fuck off and go bother someone else!

The boss is going to go unleash it's final form and we are going to FUCK IT UP!

?...Oh you want to play that way huh? Fine I’ll speak your language? Suddenly the voice becomes tough and energetic like a yakuza “Where is Rumia suckah!? Her signal is definitely her yet some chump that think they’re tough shit lies in front of me! Why is that huh you sunavobitch!? Did you do something to her you brain dead muscle mucker??

Heh, the dumb bitch fell for the oldest trick in the book. Her body is ours now.

?Tsk, so she did? A shame? She doesn’t sound upset ?And what do you intend to do now?

Hmmm...Beat up the motherfucker in front of me! cut apart the witch! and beat the shit out of everyone else too! probably go underground too since that's where the real MEN reside!

?Except not?

What do you mean by that? You coming to fight me hoe?

?As if, I don’t even need to bother moving from my seat. Before I’ve counted to 5, you’ll be already dead?

As if tha

You feel like you had a nightmare, one in which a friend of yours turned out not to be a friend at all. They’d go and make you do bad things, terrible things and by the end you’d die with everyone hating you for it despite being a victim as well.

?Wake up Rumia, you’re free again.

I don’t know how or why you got something that dangerous, but I have to warn you not to do that again. Those kinds of things would lead to bad ends for outsiders yknow? be glad you're not one.

Anyway I do apologize for not making it sooner, if I had then perhaps this wouldn’t have happened.

And yes I’m afraid I cannot fix your arm, but hey it’s a chainsaw arm! That’s pretty cool right? I’m sure you’ll find some use for it or let someone else fix it.

I’d love to say more but your foe is about to show their next form, so I’ll make it quick.
No matter what happens you mustn’t give up! Sure, you’re not a hero or even a noteworthy villain but even the smallest of actions can make a difference today!

Your foe is at its weakest right now while you barely have a scratch on you. This is the prime opportunity to run away or fight. I won’t judge you for it, but you must wake up first.

I’ll be honest and say I’m rooting a bit for you, having a adventure in which you assemble your friends against an greater evil is the dream of any young girl realliy. It gives off massive rpg vibes~

But that won’t happen if you lose here, so tell me can you do it Rumia?

Can you defeat Anon?

Only you can answer that! So WAKE UP! ?

You try to wake up. The odor of fire and chemicals burns your nostrils, the air feels hot and dry and when you open your eyes, they are assaulted by an unpleasant light coming from the flames absorbing the house and trees nearby.

Sleeping during a forest fire ain’t no good.

You get up and almost lose your balance due to an unusual weight, your right arm looks entirely different now and you’re not sure what to make off it.

The witch is lying nearby you, propped against a tree. There's some black blood on her for some reason. but why the hell hasn't she woken up yet!? seriously you'll beat up whoever is responsible for tha-"Hnggg, who burned and died ze?" wait she's stirring! maybe she'll wake up!

“So, you finally woke up” a voice very familiar to you says. “Aren’t you a tough bitch?” Wriggl-no…what looks like Wriggle is sitting right on top of Not Alice’s head like it’s a throne.

“….” You’re not sure what you’re feeling right now. But it’s not hunger.

“Mm~ that’s a nice look you’re giving me, makes me think it was worth it to wait for one of you to wake up. No meal is fun without a struggle after all. Don’t you agree to that?” it hums in joy.

“….” Some part of you wants to believe it’s your friend up there, that it’s all just a joke but Wriggle doesn’t have blue eyes, nor does she wear red ribbons on her head. It looks like a Wriggle cosplaying as Alice and you know she’d never change her style for any reason…Those stumps with the mini dolls are still on its head too, boldly announcing its kill count.

The surroundings couldn't be any worse if they wanted to be, smoke is making the sky seem black. Fires are propagating and making the air stench, it looks like a scene straight of hell.

You're certain there's no way people won't notice this. You're not sure if that's good or bad.

It continues speaking “I’m sure you agree, after all both you and I are hunters. We stalk our prey, partake in an exciting struggle and in the climax of the moment take their lives…well you EAT them while I ABSORB them but in the end that’s kind of the same, isn’t it?”

“……” The truth is Wriggle is gone, just like that out of nowhere. Didn’t even get to say goodbye or anything. You won’t get to see her performances again; you’ll never hear her be annoyed at your puns either. You'll never get to complain about how disgusting she eats, you'll never get to do anything at all with her anymore! And how will the others feel once you tell them? You don’t know. Your eyes hurt a lot.

“Say something already” The faker says with a bored tone. “Don’t make this a bore~”

If only you knew this would happen, you wouldn't have raced her at all. you'd have walked calmly the whole way with her sharing dumb jokes the whole time. we'd have beaten this fucker and boast to Mystia about it before gettting free lampreys. You want that to have happened instead!

You don't want to lose Wriggle!

[ ] Say something (write in)
-[]“WHY are you doing this?”
-[] “You’re a sicko”
-[] “Something”
-[] Say nothing.


[ ] Use your own power!
-[] Create a darkness! (Range: Self, Specify. The whole area)
-[] Shoot a laser/Shot. (on who?)
-[] Use a Spell card! (on who?)
-[] Use your overly muscular Saw Hand! (on who?)


[ ] Go to!
-[] Towards the Faker!
-[] The air! Between the trees! (Some other manoeuvre)
-[] Away! Run away!

[ ] Use an item!
-[] The MOEFIRMANATOR! (on who?) That’s your arm now.
-[] The potions! (on who?) You threw all of them.
-[] The Witch! (KO?)

Are you lads speedrunning? cause you skipped the whole first phase there. Nicely done
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-[x] Say nothing. Hunters do not speak to prey.

-[x] Use your power on the area! Jump toward and above the thing to avoid return fire.

-[x] Turn off power to fly directly at it with your awesome chainsaw arm!

This blitzkrieg serves two purposes. One is to use the element of surprise to skip approaching through danmaku (which it has access to). Two, and this is important, we need to stay on it to keep it away from Marisa, who hopefully will not be a dumbass and act like part of the scenery. It absorbing Marisa is its win condition, but it is currently cocky and thinking that it can take anything we throw at it. If we can sever the antler dolls in this rush, all the better.
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You're almost there
…But this is reality, she won’t come back no matter how much you want it.

That thing took her, no even worse that thing is defiling her memory.

By using that form and those powers it is spitting on the bond the two of you had.

The history and image of Wriggle Nightbug is being shat on as long as it lives.

She won’t be at peace that way and neither will you.

So the least you can do is kill them...you have to do it!

You are not scared! you are not sad! you are as cool as ice, as stoic as a rock! ready to kick ass and chew gum and you want to lay down and die! NOT!

(Rumia cal-) Oh but you are calm! it’s like someone poured ice all over your head! You’ve never felt this focused! this dedicated on accomplishing something! It’s like the world lost its colours…

“Hey~ Hey~ stay on earth~” the faker waves at you impatiently while laying down on their side “Yaawwn…Are you going to do something or what? Those tears are lovely on your face but emote a bit more will ya? Give me RAGE~ Give me ANGER~ Curse my name and fight or run with everything you got before I beat you down and take everything from you anyway~” it does not see you as a threat.

You’ll make it regret that mistake. No words are to be wasted on prey.

Let Darkness rule! All light leaves the area

“Finally, you fucking fight!” you ignore the words and immediately rise upward to avoid the hail storm of bullets and lasers it shoots towards you, however your leg gets hit as you wanted to make sure that he won’t see you move beforehand.

It’s the price to pay for a surprise.

This darkness is absolute. No flicker of a flame and no shine of a bullet can shine within it

You soar swiftly and silently towards where you remember him being and charge at him from above!

Except not, you pause…you have to make sure their guard is off.

You have only one chance, only one opportunity to give in a fatal blow before it gets serious and obliterates you. It survived those explosions and you definitely do not have that kind of firepower.

No you need a plan B, and a plan C and a plan D and uh screw that!

No heat can be born in it, and not even those with dark vision can see through it

You gather your power in one hand and try not to exhale, some of the darkness becomes concentrated, bulkier and takes on the shape your will demands it to: A spell card.
And you throw it within the darkness, not activating it just yet but that’s plan B.

To exert such power on a large area…one so bright demands a lot of energy

But you won’t let get fatigue in the way! You prepare your arm, steady yourself…

And the rule of darkness ends!

You look at the insect, making sure there’s no counter waiting for you.

There is none.
Your prey looks excited, shooting everywhere but up as it looks for your position like one plays hide and seek. Threads and bugs surround it to protect it from a surprise attack.

Sadly that won’t protect it.

So you dive! Like death from above that fool won’t know what hit it until it is already dead.

Their head, their neck, their torso and feet. You rapidly approach it

You’ll be taking it all. You arm aimed straight at it’s neck, aiming for decapitation

in one smooth swing It’s now or never!

You’ll end it all! It glances up at the last second

“No you don’t!” shit, it noticed. and claws shoot out from it’s back straight for you

Your saw locks blades with it’s claws, a few inches away from it’s head. “Nice trick bu-!”

It doesn’t get to boast as your arm continues descending towards it, your momentum and strength too much to simply parry away as the claws shatter. IT’S RIP AND TEAR TIME!

You jam it in and penetrate as deep as possible!
You explore every corner vigorously and turn on the engine!
With a fanfare black blood bursts out of it's body and voila! everyone is satisfied!

The falling droplets fuel the flames nearby, and the fires are still spreading.
The trees are starting to fall down and you’re both now surrounded by fire.

This thing can’t escape now! it's you and it in a dance among flames! only one will live!

“….Pfeh” it chuckles for some reason, despite the fact that having a girl stabbing your back not really being the pinnacle of comedy “Didn’t even have to approach you myself pfahahaha” it laughs as if it saw the funniest thing alive. “You’re an idiot~”

“What?” you destroyed it’s heart, lungs and other organs. It should drop dead!

“You’re an idiot!” The faker’s head turns towards you with no effort….oh ooze “Thanks for the meal~” it becomes longer like a snake, slithers towards you and aims for your neck!

You try to stop it but you act little too late as it brushes your small arm aside, their teeth grasp your throat and clench your windpipe. Your chainsaw arm is stuck inside it’s body and black blood tightens around it to make you unable to pull out. “Mhkahkhhhj” it mumbles with a full mouth but you’re certain it’s trying to mock you or boast about its superiority.

You are so close to it you could literally head pat it but now isn't the time for that.

The feeling is disgusting, your hand feels like it’s being covered in cold mud, then your skin starts to hurt as if your entire arm was on fire. If not melting into acid. Organs can’t do that. “mkahkjahs”

It’s then that it finally hits you, the ooze is not blood or even part of it’s body. It IS the ooze. It’s entire body is the black ooze, all those appearances were nothing but hot air! “msakjkd”

Realized it a little too late to be honest, you’re being choked to death right now. For some reason it doesn’t hu-Oh wait no it’s not choking you. The head is pulling you closer to it’s body….OH SHIT.

It is going to absorb you! Your body is slowly but certainly being pulled into it. It is going to cover you in ooze and probably digest you from the inside or however those things do it! “mhkmgkm?”
You do your best to pull away but you feel that it’s stronger than you, if your right arm wasn’t so large and thick it would have taken the rest of you already. There’s little time to be wasted!

Suddenly it lets go of your throat “You’re not hearing what I say do you? Sorry my bad~” Wriggle’s face is staring right into yours as the rest of it’s body turns into a black blob. “I was being all dramatic but it’s no fun if you can’t hear it right? Speaking of which I want you know something before you die”
It doesn’t even bother being creative anymore, that face is entirely Wriggle with stumps on it.

…Wait why are those still on it? The whole time it has showed them in display as a bold sign of who it has taken and not once did you see it change. At every form their size was consistent. Is it unable to change them or is it an actual weakness? “I love you Rumia~”

...no, just NO! HELL NO!

“Naaah, not in that way silly. No need to glare! I meant more like I really owe you a lot. I want you to realize that I couldn’t have done any of this without you. So what’s your wish?”

“What are you talking about?” it stopped trying to absorb you, clearly absorbed by it’s sense for the dramatics as it’s about to do some grand monoblob. Now is the time to look for a way out! The spell card is just lying on the ground ready to be used. Your saw is deep inside of it and Marisa is gone.

Wait where did she go!? why is she still gone! did she wake up and abandon you?! THAT BIT- “LOOK at me when I talk to you!” your face is jerked towards it. “AS I said, If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have been able to grow this strong” it looks genuinely grateful.

It’s revolting to look at “….I don’t remember helping you” you amuse it to stall for time.

“Oooh, but you did! See I was following the both of you and planned to take you down first since you seemed the weakest! yknow end the whole adventure before it can even start type of thing~ But a better offer came! remember that little race you did with your pal? How your knocked her out and just flew off to crash somewhere? That was like a free meal to me”

“….So what?” you try to play indifferent. You won’t let it see how it affects you.

“Well, I figured that since you did a freebie to me. I should do one for you too~ Oh but I won’t let you go! Don’t even ask for that. But is there anything you’d like to know? Any way you’d like to die other than being melted alive? I assure you the latter is quite painful, it’s like burning and drowning at the same time if I had to describe it. It’s how I learned your name too!”

“That doesn’t mak-“

“She screamed your name the whole time, it was music to my ears”

No…it’s lying! “….Take that back”

“Take what back? The fact your friend died in intense pain because of you? The way she tried to be brave until the end but cried her heart out only after a few seconds? Or perhaps the fact this is all your fault? YOU did this Rumia! And you’re going to die with that regret in your heart!”

Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
You want it to SHUT UP!
Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
Alien feelings are OVERFLOWING within you!
Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
You want it to DISSAPEAR!
Liar! Liar! Liar!....Liar!... Liar!....liar!

Li-Your chest feels so tight, it's like your heart refuses to work.

It hurts so much, thinking becomes so hard...

Wriggle, you’re going to avenge her. You don’t care how or if you’ll live afterwards.

You put your hands on the Wriggle and Alice Doll before your final struggle.

They're the only things left of them

It does not deserve to have those.

Scratch that...

It does not deserve to live!

[ ] Push it into the flames with your last remaining strength. LET IT BURN!
[ ] All of your spellcards. Right now. Danmaku plosion from the inside. EAT THIS!
[ ] WHERE THE FUCK IS MARISA!? Oh that’s a big be- OH NOOO!
[ ] Write in (What's your big finisher/totally not a suicide attack?)

Author Note: Phoowie, that's an combat encounter almost done.
Still a rookie with those but I hope you're enjoying yourself.
If any of you got tips for those or criticism I'm all ears.

But for now enjoy your weekend and I will see you tommorow!

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[x] We're settling for only one option? As if!

I like combat updates.This is a good scenario.
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You’re going to do it.
No metaphor or descriptions of your surroundings.
No introspective bullshit.
That thing dies today.

You inhale deeply and get deeper into the monster, before it can respond your left arm grips the monster’s stumps (and dolls) firmly and you start pulling him towards you even more.

“What are you doing?” it doesn’t resist, confused by what it perceives to be self-harm “Don’t tell me you want to die already? Has your spirit broken? How bo-!” You open your mouth and bite!

You bite it’s face, rip off the dolls and throw them away from the area!

Biles of black blood enter your throat, the ooze burns your tongue, cheeks and even your teeth as it stays there not swallowed. The sensation makes you want to throw up but your fangs manage to actually dig into something solid. The same wood as the stumps! You bite harder!
The monster immediately returns fire by punching your stomach with its fist “LET GO!”, have bugs attack your eyes and trying to push you off “You pathetic bitch, let go of me!” but you won’t let go! YOU”LL NEVER LET GO! Its body becomes smaller once more as it concentrates energy.

Scorpion Sign: Bug Phalanx: drops of ooze float into the air and slowly transform into the insect dolls you’ve seen before. Except this time they’re all black, a dozen and smaller too boot. They all gain dark spears and immediately attempt to stab you repeatedly from every side You don’t move to stop it and gain shallow cuts and various light wounds as a response. After a few painful seconds, they all back off and strike simultaneously! and this is where you Death bomb!

Darkness Sign: Demarcation! : Waves of blue, red and green danmaku immediately emanate from your body as they hit the monster and dolls head on, killing the latter immediately but they do little but slow him down. YET afterwards a large blue bullet appears behind it and shoots a rafale of homing clusters straight at it’s back, forcing it to lose it’s balance and fall on you! The monster is now on top of you, crushing your stomach and ribs with it’s weight as it’s whatever no longer touches the ground, your energy leaks out of your body like water out of a broken cup BUT…BUT!

NOT YET! You won’t fall just yet! You activate the other spell card! Moon Sign: Moonlight Ray!: the two lasers converge into one and head straight towards the two of you! the knockback of it…

Throwing both of you into the flames! Your positions have been reversed. You are now on top and refuse to let it get up, the monster cries out in rage and responds with the rage of an dying animal as it tears off your skin by sheer contact, and tries to smash apart the little girl holding it onto the ground, desperate to escape the hot touch of the fires among you. No words can describe the pain you’re going through right now, but you’re not stopping. It’s too late to stop.
It’s time to end this! With your last remaining strength, you activate one last spell card. The last thing that will make sure that it will be unable to escape before the fires consume the both of you.

Darkness Sign: Dark Side Of The Moon: a circle of small red bullets and large yellow ones spread around the area, hitting the trees nearby and making them fall on the both of you. Their weight and sudden impact makes your back give a *Crack* sound, you’re leaking blood as well but cannot help the smile on your face. The fire has spread to the point that there is no escape…this is it

Both you and it are going to die, knowing that relieves you somehow.

Don’t misunderstand, you still want to live. After all you got friends who will miss you and have only one life to give…but this thing has to be stopped. You’d sooner die with it than live in a world where it can harm more of your friends!

You hope both Alice and Wriggle can be restored via the dolls or whatever, maybe by killing the impostor all those affected by it will be freed? Unless that’s only for werewolf’s and vampires.

Hell if you know, at least the witch made it. And you’re sure she’d pick up the two…no you’re not sure of that all. But one can’t help but hope in this kind of situation no?
Anyway isn’t this the kind of moment where your life flashes before your eyes? Cause you’re not seeing anything…hell you’re not feeling anything too! Did your pain sensors decide to go on strike on something? Lucky you~

But really, you guess it’s time for the last words. A shame no one but the bastard beside you will hear it…..wait it’s been speaking the whole time?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” you cannot tell what it is saying, but it is definitely shouting. The ooze monster has caught on fire and is slowly but certainly evaporating or whatever the term was, sue me you’re dying too.

“Is tha-“ You get picked up like a sack of potatoes, have your world turn upside down and eat dirt immediately afterwards.

The fuck? Did it manage to throw you off!? No it can’t be! If it survives now then you did all this for nothing! All of your efforts would have gone to waste! Please don’t get out! Don’t get out!
You try to get up but your body refuses to move, you can only see the dark sky up above as the urge to sleep becomes stronger as time passes on.

The ground shakes intensely for some reason, as if an earthquake just struck or some enormous power was released, your body instinctively shudders.

You failed didn't you?

Despite doing your best, it simply wasn't enough.

Cirno, Wriggle, Mystia, Daiyousei

I'm sorr-
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Im so done with this
There is nothing but darkness once you wake up.

Every part of your body screams in pain immediately.

What a way to wake up, but at least you’re not dead?

Unless ghosts can feel pain? You’d think people would need special weapons for that but perhaps that’s not really the case…oh now that’s a book you’d read about.

Wait what was the situation again?

Ah yes, you’re dead.

Or not?

That’s a new mystery to solve!
Nevermind your eyes are closed, that’s just it.
You can’t see with your eyes closed, unless like your eye skin is transparent but that would mean you could never really close them and that’d be freaky.
You open them and close them immediately when light burns them.

You hate it when that happens, it’s why you always sleep under the shade or somewhere dark.

And this place isn’t dark at all! You immediately cover yourself in shadows and wait.
Okay you feel a bit less worse now.

Now it’s time to get up and get ready for adventure…

To be honest no, you’re done with that.

That was like the WORST adventure you’ve been in your whole life!

Screw hunting anons! From now on you’re going to enjoy your own peaceful life.

Like Wriggle would have wanted to! Let’s ha-
Ah, you almost forgot.

ANYWAY she was looking for Cirno right?

Let’s find her then!

Gotta respect her will and all~

You are a good pal after all~

Just not good enough to-NOPE, no bad thoughts!

You deserve to relax now! So let’s do that!

Operation: Retire after finding a Cirno is a go! Go! Go!

But where are you anyway?

[ ] Welcome to the realm of TRASH!
[ ] The sunflowers know your sins.
[ ] A Bun bun is staring into your soul.
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[x] Welcome to the realm of TRASH!
A visit with the TRASH(wo)MAN seems only appropriate.

Kind of surprised that this wasn't a bad end into a forced flee.
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You realize that just standing around won’t really do anything.

So you tap the ground with your foot, It gives a thuck like sound.
Clearly made of wood then, at least you’re inside.

The air feels a bit dusty? Actually you could just open your eyes and look around instead, that way you’d actually know where you are.

So you do and remove the darknes-
The light burns your eyes again.

You create a shadow again.

What a dilemma we live in, where did your shades go? This is exactly why you had them! But you can’t look around for them now lest your eyes get burned, but you need to see so you can see the glasses that let you see things without getting burned but you can’t because aaaaaaargh!

You realize the light comes from a window, and close the curtains on it. My bad.

Done, now where are those shades?
You see boxes, loads of junk everywhere, not garbage kind of junk but the kind that’s a bunch of items that no one really uses other than a certain person. There’s a small mattress where you lied.

But no shades anywhere, you’ve only got the clothes on your body right now. There a bunch of bandages around you too. they feel tight and scratchy and wait these clothes aren’t yours…

Your amazing combo of dark and red has been replaced by casual wear garbage! Blue pants like an average joe! A white shirt with black stripes like an Oreo! And a CASUAL JACKET?!


Someone is going to need to answer stuff, but first let’s get out! You look around some more.

You think you’re in a closet/ item storage maybe? The room is quite small, like someone just propped the mat in here and stuffed your body inside like a sack of lumber.

This kind of place, that kind of attitude.

It can only be Trash Man! You’re in the Shop of Trash Man!

Okay his name isn’t Trash Man but it’s too long to actually remember nor do you care to.
Anyway you open the door…it is locked. Why would you lock the room in which a girl sleeps? Does he think you’re going to run off immediately or what? Even if that was the case no wall can stop you!
You take a few steps back, inhale deeply and CHAAAAAAARGE!

You slam your face against the wall and fall down. the only achievement being the loud BANG! the impact gave.

Okay the wall is stronger than you after all, but you’re tired and wounded so that’s not fair!

You lie on the ground a bit dazed and question your life choices.

But soon start to hear footsteps.

Someone is approaching the door! No it's not one but two people that are approaching!

Oh no, wait you meant oh yes! how dare they treat you this way! you'll show em who's boss!

Noone can lock up a youkai!

[ ] Prepare a surprise attack. He cannot stop the forced piggyback.
[ ] Give them the house wife greeting. Their regret will be delicious
[ ] Hide on the ceiling like a spider, and run the moment the door opens.
[ ] Another idea, you are a genius after all. You can achieve revenge.

[ ] Genuflect.
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[x] Prepare a surprise attack. He cannot stop the forced piggyback.

Yes this is just cute. Of course I'll choose it.
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it tastes just like raisins
The voices are getting closer!

You take a step back and wait for the door to open

The moment that bastard reveals himself shall be the moment you strike!

Like the mighty Fūri you’ll jump on him and turn him into your steed.

Then and only then will dominance have been established, it is the law of the jungle.

Sure a little girl on top of your head might not seem so threatening

But they’ll think otherwise once she pulls on your hair and chokes you with her legs.

As the amazing Moeru Toukon aka the burning fighting spirit that sets aflame all the stars in the skies and the will of man's hearts once said: toast is about to be toasted.

The door slowly opens, and two figures reveal themselv-NOW IS THE TIME!

You immediately leap at the tallest one! Take this! Hook and shoot!

Fear the night! Fear the Rumia!

You hit the mark dead on! Grab onto their shoulders and climb your way up like an itsy bitsy spider crawling their way up a wall. In a Perfect and fluid motion.

Dominance Established

“ ...What are you doing?” the unfortunate foe says with resignation. Their voice calm like uh a cup of coffee? With his grey hairs, indifferent attitude, and overall vibes he feels like an old wise cat.

“Huh, looks like you’re popular Kourin” someone who’s not your steed says with amusement.

But they’re not important right now, you have a job to do
“Good morning, Trash~” speaking of his hair you ruffle it, it’s always so smooth and fun to play with.

He sighs but doesn’t try to push you off which is good, he’s learning. “As I have said before, one cannot purchase me as a steed, food or both regardless of how much you insist on it” then he moves on to an average question “So how are you feeling?” which is a great conversation starter.

“I feel like a Rumia~” and overall, like a fail-fairylicouis. “How do YOU feel?” you ask out of politeness.

Trashman rubs his chin in thought and seriously considers the question “I feel like a Rinnosuke” and copies your answer while acting like it was his thing all along. You swear he sounds smug.

“Well, you’re a horse now!” you kick your legs at his shoulders softly “So giddy up and feel like one!” your voice brims with authority fit for she who rules over the night.

“I don’t want to, nor am I capable of obeying those statements if I ever wanted to do so” but it has no effect on him for some reason, how dare he not believe your words? How dare he doubt?

His lack of faith, you find disturbing.

Let’s resolve that “Nah, I’m sure you can become a magnificent steed if you put your mind to it!” you tap his shoulders “These broad shoulders, those fit legs and that soft mane show your potential”

“It’s not a question of potential” he dares correct you “It’s a question of want”

“Then do you want to become my horse?” you ask with the sweetest tone you can give. The type that makes the heart of men and girls alike flutter in an oooh you’re so cute way.

“No” he answers instantly. Unflinching like a tower. Immune to your natural charisma. Unbending.

That only makes you want it more “Pleaase? What if I say pretty, please with a cherry on top covered in a banana sundae?” you flip your position so you can give him the puppy eyes too
“No” he replies instantly again. The man has a heart of steel. His only love being…nothing? you're not sure if he has ever smiled in his life.

Wait scratch that thought, you're certain he did once or twice maybe? a person never smiling is like a person never eating. night impossible! but anyway you won't lose.

You try harder this time and concentrate your inner cuteness in your eyes. “Pleeaase? What if I say pretty, please with a banana on top covered in a cherry sundae?” this time he cannot refuse.

“No” and before you can try even harder, he interrupts with another “No, I will never be a horse. I am physically and mentally unable to become one and even if there was a service that led people turn into horses, I would not be interested in said offer. Being humanoid is just fine to me”

Hmmm, fine you’ll compromise “A human horse is fine too!”

“That’s no- “you won’t let him say no this time.

“So, what made you lock me up in your closet anyway? Were you going to sell my organs?”

He stays silent, and his tired look turns into a half glare “The way you say that implies you think I meant you harm, I won’t stand for that. Did I not bandage your wounds and offer you rest?”

Ah, you overdid it. “Sorry, I was just joking” you answer honestly.

“It wasn’t funny to me” oh darn he’s offended. “To think you believe me to be capable of that, clearly you do not hold respect towards me and my establishment”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it that way. You’re nice and easy to tease but I do re-uh reS-I don’t look down on you! You’re a cool nerd bird! Like a bland bird that owns a shop but is unique in how not special they are. You’re an awesome horse too! don’t ever think otherwise!” you contest back.

“Hmph, that doesn’t sound like a compliment to me” now he’s being cheeky.

“You’re cool dude! Like a canary on top covered in a baneberry sundae!” you insist.

“Are you hungry or is that just me?” he seems to have calmed down. “Also, you can stop. I believe it”

“How did you know?” you haven’t said anything of the sort.

Can the lad read minds now? Freaky.

“You always are” and then he stops moving. “Get off and wait here, breakfast is almost done”

Uh-oh, you didn’t even realize you were being transported.
You are now in what seems to be a guest room adjacent to the shop’s entrance. There is a little more space here with some chairs in the middle circling a small table. The surroundings got a closet with some books and newspapers, some posters about brands you’ve never seen before and two more doors that lead outside and to a kitchen.

Wait that makes this his living room, curse the laws of architecture. “Rumia get off” he repeats.

“Sure” you do and float towards one of the chairs. Before sitting on it NOT!

First off you land on the ground, take few steps away from the chair, turn around and then backflip into position.

The youkai of Twilight does not sit like a simple human. The fact you can fly and so
ignore any failed attempt anyway does not change this fact

Rinnosuke doesn’t care about your sick moves and moves to the kitchen without a word.

Party pooper.

“Glad to see you’re doing fine ze” you jump up immediately and look at the person. “Oh? Is there something wrong? You’re acting like you saw a ghost” the witch is seated in a chair facing yours, sitting all relaxed like someone who saw something fun. she's got some bandages too and her hat is gone.

When did she get here? How long was she here? Did she see all that?

She answers immediately, as if reading your mind “Never got here, I was not there the whole time and now I did not think that whole thing was adorable~” she dares grin. “Your face is way more expressive than I remember by the way. No wonder you never show it”

Hmm, so she really didn’t see you. Good, if there were rumours that the man-eating youkai acted friendly to even half a human then your reputation would be ruined. It’d be total humiliation.

“Nah, got no reason to not not tell everyone about that. Unless…you plan to buy my silence ze?”

Wait so she DOES know about it? In that case you’d have to eliminate her. No one must know!

“Hey, relax~ you almost died so this isn’t the moment to fight yknow? Have some food and afterwards we can have the big talk” you’re starting to get annoyed “What you gonna do about it ze?”

You cover yourself in darkness once more, being read like a book is just disturbing.

“Party pooper” the witch shrugs and you think she’s drinking something. Tea? Coffee? Dunno.

Anyway, you got a moment of just nothing special to do, the kind that lasts 5 minutes but feels like hours depending on how bored you are. What should you do while waiting?

[ ] Talk to Marisa? (About what?)
[ ] Go harasshelp Rinnosuke?
[ ] Read today’s Bunbunmaru.
[ ] Loot Look at the Outsider wares.

[ ] Genuflect.
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[x] Read today’s Bunbunmaru.
Have our escapades been recorded? Is the anon invasion taking dominance? Will we ever find Cirno? Aya tell us!
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You get up from your seat, pick up the newspaper, go back to sitting and read it.

Season 123, Shichi-Gatsu issue 1 (est. 07/7/2017)
Chainsaw Massacre in the Forest? Mechanical lifeforms roaming the Mountains?
Someone stole the hakurei maiden’s panties? This must be a Moriya Shrine Conspiracy!

People arriving while causing an incident is no strange ritual to our little land, whether it’s vampires trying to blot out the sun or the new goddess announcing herself last week something always happens.

But never have I your honest and humble reporter seen several happen at the same day around the same time and from which the culprits come from the same source: our new outsiders.

If you have read last week’s newspaper (1) then you should know the Moriya Shrine was gone for a few days only to return as if nothing happened.

The goddess of the Moriya Shrine Yasaka Kanako has made an alliance with the wise Tengu leaders to become the proper god of the mountain as she would enrichen the lives of the mountainfolk with her miracles and knowledge off outsider science only to suddenly go out on a vacation without telling anyone! This honest reporter theorizes that the trio went to the outside world to relax. How irresponsible.

To elaborate on how bad this is: they stood up Lord Tenma! That’s an insult to all Tengu!

Nevertheless, stuff happened afterwards:
There have been hearsay and sightings of strange creatures roaming around the land recently, machine like beast’s superior to kappa technology fighting each other, humans with silly costumes shooting out fireballs and jumping on people to crush them, even the average normal outsider has begun to act radically different compared to their predecessors. What were once valuable additions to the human village have now become a horde of man children that the village guardian (2) must oversee. But the outsiders aren’t only humans! varouis other creatures have seemed to be sighted, like a pile of sentient hamsters. some half girl half horse people, and actual doppellgangers. The outsiders are many!

Frankly a lot of things are happening, and they are happening fast. The outsiders are coming in fast but have yet to envelop anything more than the mountain and the village…though by the end of today there may be as many of them as there are fairies. Whether that’s good or bad is to see.

And all of this has happened within less than a day once the shrine returned. Coincidence? I think not! Clearly whatever measure they used to exit Gensokyo and come back must have attracted these people or perhaps this is a new plan the goddess has in store for us? Regardless the Moriya shrine is clearly responsible for this incident! (3) More info to come on that next issue!

Now out of subject but still related to it: the Forest of Magic almost burned down! Intense explosions and roaring flames were sighted alongside rumours of a chainsaw wielding maniac (4). After the fires, resident puppeteer Alice Margatroid alongside some other minor youkais were nowhere to be seen, the only evidence left behind being some black blood in both magician’s domains and the hearsay of some fairy witnesses.

Speaking off witness, XXXX(5) one of the few who got an actual look has this to say: “I saw it all! Some scary youkai was holding the dead body of Marisa while swinging their sharp machine at Alice’s dolls! But Alice was big and scary too but then the youkai set her on fire and laughed the whole time, so I got scared and ran away! I only saw her back and the fact she wore a ribbon”

There you have it folks, if you ever see someone who has a chainsaw and a red ribbon then she might be out to cut you into pieces! I advise all to avoid the forest while the resolvers investigate.

Now let’s end this with some good news: the Bunbunmaru has got themselves a sponsor! The Scarlet Mistress Remilia scarlet would like to inform all outsiders that she’s willing to hire all those whose fate she deems interesting, I’m not sure what that means but employment is sought at the Scarlet Devil Mansion! so if you want to work for a cute bloodsucking little girl then go for it!

(1): One can purchase the previous edition at following locations: base of Youkai Mountain, the Hakurei Shrine, Kourindou and the Myouren Temple. If you wish to pay for a subscription do note it to a fellow tengu and you shall the special edition for an low monthly fee.

(2): That would be Keine Kamishawara the sad girl isn’t even paid for taking care of outsiders.

(3): It must be either one of them or one of the many other gods or the gap of boundaries herself. So far, the former is the most suspicious. They haven’t made an official statement on this either.

(4): A chainsaw is a portable gasoline-, electric-, or battery-powered saw that cuts with a set of teeth attached to a rotating chain driven along a guide bar. It is used in media for the express purpose to slaughter and maim those the user dislikes. It is a legendary tool of murder that is to be feared.

(5): The witness’s name and appearance have been censored for their own safety.

Editor: Aya Shameimaru

Writer: Aya Shameimaru

Investigator: Aya Shameimaru

It's all Aya quality!

About the Bunbunmaru: Since 2007 the Bunbunmaru has been the trusted brand to give the people of our country the energy to explore, discuss, think and life live to the fullest. From sunrise to sunset, city to surf, next door to the great outdoors, heavens to the underground…
what you can experience by reading this paper is only limited by your imagination. Rip open a bun and keep the truthful times coming, morning, noon and night. #Alwaystrue

“Are you actually reading that third tier rag?” Marisa questions the obvious “That’s just a bunch of half-truths, theories and rumours the crow wants to spread. Take it with a grain of salt”

“Uhuh” you give her a noncommittal answer, she’s still food despite all this so you don’t care much.

“Don’tcha uhuh me, I saved your life yknow?” she takes another sip and continues “So shouldn’t you be thanking me? Actually that means I means I own you now! Since you owe me your life ze~”

You’re not sure how she goes from sounding sad to sounding happy so quickly. Mood swing much?

Rinnosuke seems to be taking some time now, but you can smell the allure of meat being cooked so this breakfast is about to be delicious! Hmmm what is he making you wonder.

Anyway you still have some time left, so now what?

[ ] Talk to Marisa? (About what?)
[ ] Is Rinnosuke done?
[ ] Read today’s Bunbunmaru. Done diddly done.
[ ] Loot Look at the Outsider wares.

[ ] Genuflect.
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[x] Talk to Marisa about what happened.

Plot button. Wonder where the other readers went. This is pretty gud.
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[x] Loot look at the outsider wares
Dew it before Marisa "borrow"all those stuff
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File 163251859951.png - (541.01KB, 662x377, MARISAA.png)
A few more minutes pass in silence as you read the newspaper, the news doesn’t really worry you since you’ve decided to no longer concern yourself with all that anon nonsense, the news of there being some maniac in the forest does makes you mentally note to be careful if you go there. you’d hate to end up mistaken for them just after all.

You didn’t murder Marisa after all and she's not dead either so the truth is obvious.

To think you'd have a copycat so soon...shameful!

Anyway, right now, the vibes are good. The vibes are chill. This is nice~

To be honest, just doing nothing and reading a newspaper has a weird feeling to it, as in it’s such a not youkai thing to do. Why read something and drink coffee like you’re the man of the house (Which is you of course since you’re the BOSS duh) when you can instead scare some humans with your friends? That’s not to say you dislike reading something while Housewife-man cooks.

Still fun times are fun: like that one time where a human jumped off a cliff to avoid you or the other time where Mysti’s singing made a whole group of hunters fight each other to the death! Or like the time when Wri-…. Wriggle.

Not feeling like sitting any longer, you move out of the living room and into the shop part of well the shop. Memories of before reminding you of the stuff you lost.

You lost a good friend; someone you knew for a long time alongside your own fricking arm being so heavy and unwieldy now. Like whom can live with a limb like that? Oh, Alice is gone too you guess

The good vibes are gone now, darn it this really isn’t going to leave your mind anytime soon huh?

“Hey, what’s wro- “Needing a new distraction, you get up and move out of the room.

You’re a big girl and don’t have time for being sad. Only little girls are sad and you’re a youkai! Now let’s go see what kind of toys Trash man has that you can pla-INVESTIGATE!

The shop area looks a bit meh, there is a counter. Some tables with odd wares and ends and overall, the place is cluttered with stuff you don’t know.

You think there is some outside too so yo-THE LIGHT!

You put a shadow around yourself again and sit on one knee, this time you made the grand mistake of going outside shadowless and behold the sun struck! The absolute sucker got you right in the eyes and now you can’t see anything!


“Oof, should have worn sunscreen my dude” you hear Marisa say with some pity behind that insufferable cheeriness. And soon after you feel a hand on your shoulder. “You REALLY are in bad shape after all~” then she dares take look down on you, a youkai being mocked and pitied by a human….” take better care of yourself will ya. No one will be happy if you force you- “and that’s when your patience snaps.

You push away her arm and put as much distance as you can from her.

What is wrong with you? ” you say with the most venomous tone you can muster at her “Your house burned down! Your friend is dead! And here you are acting so happy like it’s but an afterthought! Do you expect me to just move on like nothing happened? Are you sympathizing with me? Well guess what!? I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY!!” the way she acted so casual was unnerving to you, does she not care at all or what?

“….” She doesn’t give back an immediate response, but her footsteps are getting closer. “Tha- “

“You don’t even look remotely sad! Do you not care at all? Are humans dead inside now!?” you continue the accusations, the insults and curses just pouring out as you declare the witch your scapegoat. It feels so refreshing to be honest, to be able to put all the blame on just one person.

Yeah, it's her fault for having a house at the exact spot you crashed! it's her fault for not waking up when you wanted her to! and it's her fault for holding devices off mass destruction on her person! it is all her fault!!

That feeling is swiftly replaced with pain coming from your cheek followed by another to your stomach as the witch grabs you by the hem of your shirt. “ Shut up ” her voice becomes stone cold, no cheer, no jest only anger behind it “I-I OF COURSE I care about what happened! How dare you say otherwise you dramatic bitch!” she slaps you again wounded by the words, anger emanating from her.

If only you could see actually see her face, you’d be certain both of you were glaring at each other.

She doesn’t stop there and continues speaking “How about we imagine my point of view: I was having a great time studying some objects I managed to borrow from some outsiders only to out of nowhere get my stuffing knocked out by some little girl (which I suspect to be YOU). And then when I wake up not only is my house freaking gone…but there you are fire hugging the hell out of some freak! Naturally I did the best of what I could, threw you off it as I sparked the ugly thing into atoms. Carried your ass back to Kourindou. Made sure you’d get the proper treatments just so you won’t drop dead. And what do I get as my reward? The news that a friend of mine is somehow dead, the fact all my research is gone and now you’re blaming ME for all this?! That better be jest ze” killing intent is outright dripping behind those words.

You look down, the intensity behind her glare is unbearable and the fact everything she says makes sense only lowers any chance of rebuttal you had in you. “I-I’m sorry!” sadness overcomes you. "I'm never going to see Wriggle again! and I hate it! I hate it so much! I want everything to be fun and simple again..." and out the eye canal it goes.

“H-hey don’t cry! Cause if you do that now then even I…dammit!” she drops you and starts shouting to pump herself up “No! just no ze! I REJECT THE DRAMA ZE! I’m not letting this get in my-COLD!”

What does she- “COLD!” You get splashed by cold water out of nowhere.

You remove the shadow to see the source: It’s Rinnosuke holding a strange device.

“No staining the floor with salt” he says with annoyance as shoots his device at us again. “Make up or go cry elsewhere” The man really does not give a carp, he’s colder than the water!
“But she started it!” both of us say only to get splashed again. “FREEZING!”

I don’t care who started, now each of you apologize” he says with some odd authority.

As if you’d He points the device at you “Okay I’m sorry! Accusing you was mean and ungrateful! Thank you for saving me witch!” you say as quickly as possible.

Marisa replies just as fast “Yeah! Sorry for uh…I did nothing wro- Rinnosuke aims sorry for uh teasing you at a bad time?” she looks at our tyrant and continues “Let’s work together to like get our pals back ze!” she tends out a hand for shaking.

You are forced to by Rinnosuke to shake it. “Wriggle! Dollfreak! we're coming for you!” Not thinking of her as food is going to be hard though...

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Marisa is now using following you!

That wasn't sarcasm, you're totally doing this willingly. totally

“It’s like I’m tending to children” Coldman sighs and pauses as if jolted “Sniff. Is that smoke?” then realization kicks in and he hurries back to the kitchen. “Be right back, no more nonsense or else you’ll be eating burned food”.

“…. He’s really acting like a housewife huh” you mumble as you get up.

“Kourin’s always been that way, if only he was born a girl, then he’d be married and have 3 or 5 kids by now bet…” Marisa agrees solemnly and looks at the ceiling wistfully

“Darn, I want to live in that kind of world. Rin-chan wearing an apron and all…” you do the same.

Rin-chan would be the ultimate housewife, not only does she know what each item can do she’d uuh you’re not a writer or anything so Rin-chan will only exist inside both of your hearts sadly.

“Pff, Rin-chan~ what would he call the babies?” doesn’t stop Marisa from talking about it.

“Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner” you eagerly reply.

“Those aren’t good names though?” she raises an eyebrow.

“They’d be special nicknames!” and you return to your mighty position of the Cross.

“Uhuh, what of the real names though?”

“Rinnosuke Junior, Rinnosuke Junior Junior and Watanabe”

“You’re just making this up!”

“NO MANZAI EITHER!” Rin-chan shouts from the kitchen, and this time it smells bad. Did his food catch on fire or something? Honestly it should be done a while ago by now.

He’s still a party pooper though, but an understanding among girls has been established.

Make him wear an apron one day, maybe after this not adventure.

Rin-chan will become reality lest you die!

Wait a minute...are you suffering from mood switches now too?

Don't tell me your brain has been affected by human logic.

Oh god did they infect you?! are you no longer going to be an awesome wild youkai?
Ruler over the darkness and fear incarnate turned soft, dumb and weak?! You don't want a redemption arc!

You realize you are wasting time, despite the fact that wasting it is a bit fun too.

But honestly, that’s enough talk. All plans need good planning too!

So, what’s the big plan? Where will you be heading next after this meal?

[ ] Back to the Forest of Magic (there is evidence to be retrieved. Like the two dolls)
[ ] Misty Lake/SDM (you know Dai is in there. lots of anons will go there too though.)
[ ] Bamboo Forest/Eientei (you have a freaky arm that needs fixing. Mystia sells Lamprey nearby too)

[ ] The mountain, some tengu has awfully good info/slander. Can be done later, the others are closer.
[ ] The sunflower fields No reason to go to now, even if Yuuka is a friend of Wriggle

As for Right Now

[ ] Make sure Kourindou won’t have a kitchen fire.
[ ] You didn’t have the chance to look at them wares, do so now.
[ ] Talk to Marisa Done diddly done. (Doesn't mean it can't be done again)
[ ] ...On second thought. what's stopping you from ditching these losers? go now!

[ ] Genuflect.

About companions: You're free to invite anyone over to Team 9/other name or disinvite(kick).
Though whether they'll accept the offer or stay gone or decide to come back once kicked out depends on circumstances.

Also had half a mind to just force you back to the forest but that could be railroady.
So you can choose on 3 locations right now, stuff will happen whenever you finish one.
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Clarification: You're not going to be stuck in one location.

You can just go to the following 3 locations alongside Kourindou whenever you want right now.

You don't have to like 100% a place of all Anons or something.

Feel free to do what you think is best.
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[x] Back to the Forest of Magic (there is evidence to be retrieved. Like the two dolls)
I think it best to be a bit railroady to make sure the damn creature is dead. We can construct the rest of team 9 afterward.

[x] You didn’t have the chance to steal look at them wares, do so now.
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The art of looting
You discuss a plan of action with the witch and conclude, that the first thing to do is to return to the crime scene. There lies unanswered questions and unfinished business.

So you'll head there after the food.

And you don’t do things half baked, you do them FULL baked. If you’re hungry you leave no bones behind and if you feel like sleeping, then several hours will pass in the blink of an eye!

That is the way of the Dark stalker.

Not that you stalk people, actually you do.

But only for hunting purposes.

But first it’s loot Observation time. You ask the witch to show you stuff off interest that you might want to borrow since you never know what could be useful. “Do you have time? for loot time?”

She gains a shit eating grin and gladly obliges. “Hell yes~”

Various number of items are immediately shown to you by Marisa:
Like a mini representation of the earth itself (for some reason it’s round).
Some object that’s supposed to come back when you throw it (it did not).
A body sized pillow of a person you don’t know.

Some white mask with holes in it (Which did get some of your interest since in the dark it can come off as spooky).

A box filled with dee vee deees? (They need something called a player and Rinnosuke only uses it on special occasions, she recommends the one named Jurassic World with an overkill of excitement. But you think she’s lying since there’s no way someone can put like an entire world inside a small box that we can all look at for our own amusement).

Finally, some weapons like swords, axes, sword chucks and guns. (None of which appeal to you since they don't taste good. The gun went off in your mouth and all it was give a nasty taste).
A big black pot next to some other pots that are meant for uh recreational smoking and weird balloons that all give the same shape when you blow in them (perpendicular like a plastic bottle).

And finally a tee vee (Another so called watching device or so she says pff), ending it all with a washing machine that doesn’t work at all unless you got like a constant source of thunder? (Just use the river)

Sadly, there’s absolutely no food amongst the piles. really you've tried your best to find a snack.

All in all it just gives you the impression that most of these things don't work unless you've got the exact right thing for them or fit in the niche of people they are designed for. Useless to most youkais in short.

Oh, some of the items were talking like the chainsaw did but you ignored them since you know better now, no way you’ll trust the words of some talking sword or chair.
But other than that, there’s really no limit to what the dude doesn’t have. So if you want something, just write it in a write in and you’ll get it if it isn’t too unreasonable

After some time you get tired it and excuse yourself. Marisa has explained everything she saw to the best of her ability but most of what she said rose more questions or made no sense at all.
You’d nap but the light is simply too annoying to look at, and the moment you lose your concentration you’d get a nice serving of it when you rise awake. Also, food is coming.

Anyway, the former should be solved first. Like right now.

“Marisa” you lean against a wall like the stone cold mean bean machine you are and call out to her, the sun still disturbs you. “Turn the sun off” it must be eliminated

“Just a sec~” The witch gives a wave of the hand as she browses through the wares of the shop, occasionally putting stuff in her pockets that should not be able to fit. “Ok, you were saying?”

“The sun, turn it off” you repeat again, just have her spark it. It's that easy right?

“Sure, no problem” Marisa doesn’t skip a beat with her casual answer. She turns around and faces you with a thoughtful look and a new hat on as she rubs her chin “So what’s the particle light value of it? And how long do you want it out? If it’s off too long, then it might never turn on again”

"Uh what? just spark it! like shoot a big laser at it to turn it off!" you command your companion.

She looks at you incredouisly once she sees you're serious "That's...impossible"

"Why? who decided that?"

"Because it's too far away"

"Why? It's in the sky right now, like just shoot at it and the problem will be gone"

"Because not going to work kid, look the sun is simply way further than any spell I could throw at it. and even if I did shoot at it it wouldn't be affected in the least"

"Why? Are you saying the sun is stronger than you?"

"NO! I mean kind off? even if you manage to blow it up we'd all die anyway since like the sun gives heat and light and without it we'd all live in never ending darkness and stuff ze"

"But that sounds like heaven!"

"Just give it up, it's not possible and that's final"

You pause and put your hands up the air as sign of defeat. “Fine, but what else am I supposed to do? I can't thrive in daylight like this! the sun burns my eyes!” you complain out loud.

“Mm, have you tried using sunglasses? Or maybe a helmet?” Marisa asks as she moves to another aisle of junk to look slash steal from. “I think there are some here, come take a looksie ze”
That sounds like it makes sense, so you approach the spot she was browsing at.

The witch was chilling at a corner of the shop next to the entrance, there were a few barrels of weapons, alcohol and other commodities lying in a cosy assembly. On a table nearby were a bunch of potions like objects and tools for measurements you were unable to identify. Two treasure chests lie right underneath it containing maps and drawings of places unknown. “Over there!” ah there lies a bunch of glasses organized within a drawer, square ones, circled ones, blue ones, red ones, they come in different sizes and colours.
Marisa tends you one that is orange like the evening sun. “How about these? Try them on” and is barely stopping herself from just shoving them in your hands. She sure seems excited.
You put them on and look at some mirror hanging from the door “They’re…” the colour orange would go well with your design of red and black, if you had your own clothes on. “Okay?”
Okay isn’t enough for the witch if that’s why she’s frowning “Hm, true it lacks a certain…”

“Punch, it’s not good or bad but it’s not above average” you finish the sentence for her.

She nods and looks at you with appraising eyes. “If it isn’t flashy, it isn’t fashion. You have to look your best after all” then puts on another pair, and then another.

For a while you just stand there while she tries different glasses on you, every time you move, she protests in response so eventually you just sit still and wait it out “Why are you taking so loooong? It’s just some dumb glasses, just give me whatever!”

Once again, Marisa firmly refuses to let you go “No, you have to look your best. Besides they wouldn’t fit with the clothes you’re wearing right now” they’re just dumb clothes!

“Just give me my dumb clothes back, I don’t care about wat fas-something you’re talking about. Just give me something to protect against the cold and the sun and I’ll be fine!” You start to get immensely bored of this and if something isn’t fun then why do it? There’s only one way out.

You snatch the orange ones and put them on, done didly doodly DONE. And start to remove your own clothes. They’re not your style so you go around and look for bette- “HEY!” what now.

Marisa is looking at you with embarrassment and outrage “What are you doing?!”

“What do you mean?” you half listen to her as you take out some rags you can find and start cutting with your nails, this might take a while.
“You can’t just undress like that! What if someone walks in!?” she makes no sense whatsoever.
“It’s a shop, if people walk in, they’re going to buy stuff?” and you found a white string too. “That’s the basics of trade and bartering”
That doesn’t appease her “No, not that! People will see you NAKED ze! Aren’t you embarrassed?”

You shrug and continue your project. “Not really, if a dog saw you bathe would you feel embarrassed? If an ant sees you piss? Would you be ashamed? That’s how I see it”

What do you have to fear anyway? You lived most of your life in the forest anyway so there’s no way you would know if someone was observing unless you like build walls all around you. So, there’s no point in caring in how others perceive you. Humans are so fussy.
“I’m still embarrassed though…” Marisa is strongly staring at her own feet. And Kourindou will get a bad rep if a little girls walk in the nude here, is that how you’ll repay your host? Do you want him to be on the headline for that Tengu’s paper?” Marisa contests with a hurried tone.

Fine, if it is THAT big of a deal then you simply surround yourself in darkness once more and walk out of the shop, back to the one spot where the mirror is.
Soon after you come out, covered in a black made-up dress, some red fabric to act as a false tie and you’re back to your original design. Some orange sunglasses and you’re back in the game.
You admire yourself a bit and make sure that there are no holes or faults anywhere, you’ve never been for vanity, but you can’t help but smile once your splendour is back. Truly the da-what!
The mirror has a crack in it now, for a split second you saw something looming behind you too, but the image was too vague and gone the moment you sensed it. The colour green does come to mind.
Eh, it was probably nothing. And even if it was it could just be a fairy pulling a prank. Those cheeky little minxes should know better than to mess with you though. Guess you’ll have to beat up some later to jock it back in their memories.
Anyway, time to go back in the sho- the sound of metal breaking, and the sweet aroma of blood enter your senses. The source of it isn’t far away and you haven’t eaten in a while

Ooooh boy! Oh boy! Finally, some good news! You’re not sure if it’s human blood yet but you’re certain the other two were unable to detect it. They don’t have the same senses as you.

Though leaving for a quick snack may be bad form, it doesn’t matter if you’ll come back later, right? And if it’s an Anon then what they don’t know can’t hurt em! Cause no offense but Marisa and Rin-chan seem totally like the type that are not into watching you eat humans in front of em.

You peek out of a window and see Marisa is trying to set something up, like she's carrying a tee vee and trying to take stuff to the living room for some reason.

Actually wait, should you really leave? What if they notice your absence and go look for you? Besides some other youkai might be hunting it already unless it really is one of those golden moments.
Instead of eating some burned food or some second-rate rations from a second hand store you’ll get the real, succulent taste of an human. You can already imagine how it would play out:

A human having broken their weapon, steed or what have you is bleeding on the ground but valiantly refuses to die from their injuries somehow ends up in Gensokyo.

Before they can make sense of their situation you meet with them ready to lunge once their guard is down.

Noticing that something is approaching them they’ll naturally ooze out fear and regret towards the actions that have led them to this moment only feel short-lived joy and relief in knowing a cute girl approached them instead of a monster…. but then the real despair co-ooooooh~ it’s making your mouth water!

No one will care right? No one will notice right? It’ll be a quick snack!

Unless it’s a youkai that needs help but that’s super boring and a let-down. Please be food!
Shall you sneak like a shadow, or await the food with the others?

[ ] Stay in Kourindou
[ ] Sneak off for a short sec.
[ ] Inform the two of it.

[ ] Genuflect.
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[x] Inform the two of it.
Just get in that pre-meal workout.

Also, [x] Snag the boomerang.
If anyone could figure out a boomerang, it's our kunai loving fairy friend Dai.
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[x] Sneak off for a short sec
[x] If they ask where you go, silence is an option

Dew it quick
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Tie Breaker Dojo
I am NOT enjoying these, no sir


Suddenly, you can see a kaleidoscope of colours and a childlike wonder overcomes you.

The world is so joyous, so magical~ how did you not notice up til now?

You vow to enjoy life to the fullest henceforth as a rainbow shines in the horizons.

Life is good.

For all but five seconds after which an very muscular housewife dropkicks you straight in the noggins!

Your ass flies to the skies beyond as you become a twinkle in the sky.

This all happened cause you stole candy from a girl 300 choices back.

Sudden bad end. get rekt scrubs.

But really enough poor jokes, now isn't the time for that.

Ladies and smaller ladies!

It is time for the one thing you've all been waiting for!

The Tiebreaker Dojo!


Starring your favorite host: No one! wait hold on a moment.

Oh looks like noone's available after all, a shame but it can't be helped.

That was the Th- ?HOLD ON A MOMENT!?

Oh the Meatball God made it at time after all. we'll leave the hosting to it this time.

?Okay, I can do this no problem. I'm no stranger to addressing crowds even if my speech skills have grown rusty so keep that in mind and...stay tubular!?

Good luck, and see you tommorow.

?Wait we're already on? ah I mean uh AHEM Yo, surf's up! it's a me the Meatball God here my dudes and dudettes.

Here to give you insight on your choices to give you the chance to break whatever tie there is. totally tubular don'tcha think?.

Anyway let's see here: So you can choose to go off on your own for a quick snack (assuming the target is an anon or human, which would be smart in that case since otherwise the other two would food block you from consuming them).

But on the other hand do you really want to go off on your own right now? taking the first step in trusting others paves a road towards strong bonds, which is really an cliché thing to say.

But actually yknow what? bonds can also tie you down, the morals of others can lead to some options opening but others being outright disabled since people all different values like that. man the mortal life is a pain to be in...

Actually nah I'm not doing this! the choices are very clear cut and overanalysing stuff will only head to hesitation which itself will bring fear and that will lead to stagnation!

Just take whatever choice you enjoy the most, follow your guts and carve your own path through life! don't let words of advice or warnings from others limit your options.

Do whatever you consider best and stay true to your own values.

Eat when you want to eat, sleep when you want to sleep and be nice when you feel like being nice. Enjoy life your own way and don't set your standards too high.

Speaking of which I'm not going to try talking modern anymore, it just doesn't suit me.

Heh, if I did not heed the words I give you then who would trust a hypocrite?

Also someone called it cringe but no dictionary tells me what it means.

Better safe than sorry.

Either way, good luck in your journey!?

That concludes the Tie Breaker Dojo!

Good end of the weekend, and I'l just roll a die tomorrow if it's still a tie by then.
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[x] Inform the two of it.
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This really is going to be one of those days huh
You decide to hold yourself back for once

Just running off for a quick meal doesn't give out the image of someone who's that reliable

After all, there may be still anons slash Fanons running about!

Why is it called anon anyway? just say outsider.

Anon sounds so odd to say, like you’d swear it’s an acronym of some secret group or organization and stuff but it also has a whimsical tone to the tongue. Does any of that make sense?

But back to the subject: You need to show you can uh trust your allies! since the role of the boss is to make sure their subjects use the maximum of their potential!

But before you can start with them you need to show the right example! by starting with yourself!

You'll show them all how the Youkai of Twilight rules!!

Navel-gazing done, you walk back into the shop and into the living room.
"Hey Witch! there's someone leaking their yummy juice out there" you say helpfully.

The Witch herself is still busy with...you're not sure what she's doing. She's putting some boxes and cables on top of each while aligning some chairs close by.
You wait a bit and soon she gets up, clasps her hands, and looks at her creation in satisfaction. "All done ze~" and she fiddles some more.

Wait did she just ignore you? well fine you'll just tell Rin-chan about it first.

You walk into the kitchen like the king you are.

"Yooooo, Rinnosuke-man~ there's like a OH GOD!" your nose is assaulted by a stench worse than a dead dog who had a full stomach,
the kind of stench that even a zombie would sneer at! "What are you making and who did you murder for it?"

Rinnosuke holds an elegant looking sword in the air with both hands, like a semi samurai. he is also semi naked.

Or a kid playing pretend warrior "What's the matter?" he raises an eyebrow at you "Don't you know it's rude to interrupt a man in the middle of cooking?"

"Is that so?" is the only noise that comes out of you, dude is jacked even though you swear you never saw him lift in his life.

He lowers the blade and continues with an irritated tone "If it's not important then leave me be, this is an important step in the ritual I'm doing"

"Is that so" again you repeat like a parrot and pinch your nose lest you start to vomit.

Rinnosuke sighs like YOU are the one acting unreasonable, then points at the cutting table in front of him. "Fine, I'll explain"

"See this meat?" On it lies a piece of meat of a soggy paper white colour, from it emanates the stench of death. "This is the meat of the legendary fugu, also known as the balloon fish or fish of thousand shapes.
It comes originally from the Takifugu fish that is known to reside in the Indo-Pacific region. It is a dish that's considered a delicacy in the outside world, but it requires a special way to properly treat it"

"Nan-OK" You shake off the confusion but still don't get it. "Why are you half naked and holding a sword then?"

He pushes up his glasses "All part of the ritual"

"To do what? it's just food. what will it do if you just eat it?"

"It would kill you Rumia, the Fugu holds a powerful essence within itself that has the power to kill anyone who consumes it. In a most ironic twist, their meat is delicious in exchange.
Thus, making it the most enjoyable last meal a person could have"

"So, you're going to feed me poison?" you frown "In that case I'll just eat you~" and you start to appro-He motions you to stop with one hand.

"Let me continue: The meat is a delicious poison unless the proper ritual has been established, first one must cut off certain parts and offer them to the gods above with a sacred sword such as the one I'm holding: Kusanagi (Grass Cutting Sword). Secondly one must use a proper mead to wash away any of the possible filths and residue the creature might have and finally one must pay respect to it"

"So, what exactly does that mean? how did you mess up the meat! just say it"

"I see you're agitated but don't worry. I'll speak slowly so you can understand: First...I got the meat" He starts speaking a tad louder and slower.

Captain Obvious right here "And what did you do with the meat?"

"What any normal person would do" now he looks proud of himself "Cook it raw, of course"

"But you said there was poison in it!"

"Shush, then I added red wine to it" he shows the red bottle nearby and you notice the meat is covered by it.

"Hold on a moment..." that's the wrong order also why red wine?

"Then I crushed the meat into tiny, tiny pieces using the sword" he hits the meat with the flat side of the blade.

"That's now how you use a sword!"

"Afterwards..." He pauses for dramatic effect and looks away from you "I used my [Secret Technique]"

"A-and that is?"

"I added more red wine"

"You're making me feel ill with words" you're starting to lose hope.

"Then I cut some of the meat apart, cooked it with olive oil and put it on a plate"

"Mm, that does sound good" your hope goes up a bit. maybe it's not so bad.

"Then I added more red wine"

"Oh my god..." you kneel and feel sick.

"Mmm~" He hums in some mild joy "Red wine is my favourite wine and it also prevents poisons coming from food~
And that Rumia, is how you make a proper meal" he tends the meat towards you "Now eat it"

HELL NO, you have half a mind to just ditch him right there. you're not suicidal!

A 5-year-old can cook better than this man! but enough!

"Shut up and come with me" you grab him by the arm and MAKE him tag along.

Rinnosuke gives some token resistance as you leave the kitchen, but your iron grip and strength are superior to his, you squeeze every time he tries to shut him up.

As you pass through the living room, Marisa notices and greets you both "Hiya, what are you two doing ze?" she looks like she’s in a good mood and ignores or doesn’t care about how Rin’s state.

Rin speaks before you can "Rumia is taking me somewhere against my will. Save me" you little-

Marisa looks at you "Is that true ze?" and puts a hand on her mini hakkero teasingly.

"No'" is your simple response and you continue walking, if she really wants to shoot you
then she’d have to risk hitting him as well anyway.

A moment of silence follows the standown.

"Then have fun~ oh but do come back quickly! we don't have all day and I'm getting hungry" and she waves you two off as she lies down on some chair to rest.

Rinnosuke looks at her like he got betrayed but noone cares about that.

Anyhow, it is hunting time! You leave the shop ready for adventure!

And find it standing right in front of you! Cause you bumped into it. failed perception.

You let go off Rinnosuke and back off a bit since you need to look up.

Scarlet chainmail adorns a seven feet tall giant man, a helmet with the horns of a crimson red devil hides it's face as only darkness can be seen from the visor.
A fashionable and frankly comfy red cape envelops it all as it is armed with a blood red sword twice its own size to the point you can't really call it a sword anymore.
The whole appearance gives it a very ominous evil warrior kind of vibes. the kind the modern youkai hunter no longer has.

It also has a cross shaped hole in the chest area where black blood is dripping out off, you think that's what you sensed.

''...What a fascinating thing" Rinnosuke on the other hand looks at it as if he found treasure.

The Crimson Knight doesn't respond as it looks at the sword Rin is holding and grasps his own more tightly.

"Hm? O-oh no no, I am no fighter at all" Rin backs off and puts you in front of the creature instead.

Such bravery almost makes you swoon.

The maybe man maybe not man loses interest in him and then looks at you with the same level of intensity.

Now honestly, call yourself overconfident or perhaps dumb but you only fear one thing in this world.

And this thing is not a yellow balloon!

[ ] Establish Dominance.
[ ] "You want some Fugu bud?"
[ ] I roll to hit/hit on the enemy.
[ ] Marisa! Tasukete!

[ ] Genuflect.

As you see, I have learned how to use the colour function.

I praise the new update/reply box. super convenient to use

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[x] Establish Dominance.

We just beat up an eldritch abomination. If we can't take down a man in generic fantasy edgelord armor, then what even is the point in living?
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[x] I roll to hit/hit on the enemy
Waiting for that Nat 20
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I know I should be breaking the tie, but...

[X] "You want some Fugu bud?"
[X] If it fails, call Marisa.
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Agent Sixty Nine
Choose whatever vote, you prefer.

and speaking of which here we go.

Ladies and Smaller ladies

Now is the time you've all been waiting for!

Hold on a moment.

Got a call.

It's Mother.


Uhuh, yep.


I see

Never mind then dear viewer, the Tie Breaker Dojo has been cancelled for today.

Instead today we'll give a small replacement.

Go go Entertainment Program Ruukoto!

Here to make time fly faster than you can count to PI!

Storytelling.exe start.

Narrator: Communicator Entertainment Program "ConAgent6.9 (Six-point-Nine)" Episode 1 New Turtle Republic.

Here in the secret city where dreams come true and desires rule, something is being bought, sold and thrown away, even as we speak.

But behind the scenes of business as usual, the nefarious "J.O.O.N (Meaning [Redacted])" lines its already bloated coffers with profits from worthless products. As J.O.E (JOON Executives) swindlers yet another innocent into purchasing high-priced junk, the Kappa Corp mobilizes a top-secret task force to put a stop to the menace.

Now, the mountain's best-kept secret spy is out there, briefed and ready to protect the people from "J.O.E," the catalogue of conspiracy -- just call her "6.9 (Six-point-Nine)"

Four Hundred And Twenty: An young woman with green wavy hair and a rough speaks through a speaker, she has a manly mustacho : Six, do you copy?

Sixty Nine: An old hag that looks like a young girl with blue flowing hair speaks through a COMM with a gentle tone, she has an manlier mustacho : Roger. Thanks to 'Noi-Zap,' the slap-on, be-gone answer to communicator static, I can hear the ice melting in your lunch.

420: Good. What's the status?

69 :Loosen up, 420. I'm tailing a J.O.E. exec's underwater limo right now. It should lead me to their junk factory pretty soon

420: All right. That's where the 'Bod Bed,' the miracle product that promises to <Pump you up like and action star in your sleep>, is secretly produced.

69 : I know. The thing that has nothing but legs and a frame to support your head and heels, right? Whoever bought those almost deserves it.

420 : It's not like the people who bought them did anything wrong, Six.

69 : Did you buy one?

420 : ...

69 : Jeez, 420 you did buy one.

420 : It's not what you think! I only wanted the Ms. Huggy Froggy body the english translation of Moe Moe Kero-chan pillow that came free with the purchase!

69 : The Lion dog one is more popular though Same thing! Learn to buy wisely. You're playing right into J.O.E.'s hands.

420 : I'm sorry, Six.

69 : Don't be. It's not my money. The instalment payment should give you plenty of time to think

420 : Christ, f-five years.....

69 : Ms. Huggy Froggy didn't come cheap, did she? Oops, time to go. The limo just stopped

420 : Watch yourself

69 : Never fear, even if they notice me, there's no way they can attack this car.

420 : What? Why not?

69 : 'Kid in Kar' sticker. I tacked one on the window before I left.

420 : ...You're the goods, Six.

69 : Denunciate!

420 : Six! What's wrong?!

Beep! Beep! Beep!

69 : Not good. It's the 'Sexy Mama Don't Approach Sensor.' Looks like I underestimated their security measures.

420 : Get out of there, Six!

69 : Too late! I'm going in!


Ruukoto: To be continued

Author note: I'll roll a die by the end of tomorrow if the tie is still there.
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[x] I roll to hit/hit on the enemy
[x] Nigerundayo if your attack didn't deal much damage
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File 163295046584.jpg - (710.03KB, 1200x1200, Yum Yum this will be Fun.jpg)
Yum Yum this will be Fun
The Vermillion Honcho stares at you, no emotion coming from it.

Pfah, is this thing for real?

A human challenging you of all things.

That's funnily enough not a rare thing to happen, there's always that bright young lad out to prove themselves as a hunter.

Most of the time by trying to gain experience by beating up weaker youkai before one day aiming for the big ones.

Sadly, all of them fail to realize that just because you're ranked in the low tier that doesn't mean you're some random punk.

Most of them don't taste good since they don't wash themselves before hunting, draining the blood is a real pain since it attracts other predators.

Hell, hunt too many and they'll send hunters after you. Which again is like throwing fuel into a fire for you.

In fact, you're quite the expert when it comes to cutting, slashing and all the nasty nasty things one man hunter needs to know.

But that's enough rambling for now, your opponent hasn't moved a muscle and the least you can do is give them a chance to back off.

"Want some Fugu bud?" you step forward and ask the Knight nicely, the fact you're standing on his foot should send the real message. Back off, this is my territory

Unless they're a dense son of a gun and frankly those kinds of humans deserve what natural selection has in store for them.... Hmm~ the nostalgia.

Some lad fearlessly approached you just a week ago, and outright shoved their hand on your head like he was trying to rinse dust out of your hair.

Sadly, the puppeteer intervened before you could bite their hand off.

Damn bi-A hand covers your entire face as the Red Ranger picked up your head like one would some fruit, then stares you in the eyes.

You give him the toothiest smile one can give in that position. "Oho, so you wanted me instead?" if you knew how to do a false blush, you'd have done it now. For shame.

The Knight being oh so knightly doesn't budge and continues staring at you with the intensity of a petty housewife who suspects you did something unfaithful
but refuses to talk about it in clear terms and would rather boil over in their imaginary theories than talk it out.

Okay, that was a bit too specific but anyhow, let's give this bastard his reward!

You clench your fist, swing it with your entire body weight and punch the man with all your strength!

*Clank! * An oddly casual sound emanates from the blow, you internally curse due to the pain that follows it.

Hansy Mclanky, that felt like stubbing your toe into the corner of a steel bed! The bastard has some quality armour...

Though the fact the knight took a step back or two tells you the momentum did carry. No dent on the armour though. but Knockback is knockback.

Seemed like that was all it wanted as it unsheathes it's biggass sword and gives you a come-on motion with his other hand.

"Should I call Marisa?"" Rin-chan says helpfully, as if he totally did not sacrifice you just earlier like a meat shield.

"Nah, it'll be fine" You shrug him off, and walk towards your foe with your arms outstretched “Tin Can man just wants a good fight"

"Good luck then" Rin-chan just nods as he walks back to the entrance, takes out a folding chair and observes the fight.

Anyway, for men like these the fight is all right? who or where doesn't matter now does it? you kill him and you'll get to eat him, he kills you and well that'll never happen.

You hunger for anon, that man shall suffice. So, you float up into the air and start shooting danmaku! waves of red and yellow patterns assault it!

I mean, why bother going into melee when you can just use their specialization against them? grapple the gunner, outrange the fister and abuse any weakness you see!

There's no fair play in the wild, only the one who kills the other and doesn't receive lasting injuries is the real winner.

The knight holds their sword with both hands, points it at the air as if it's a combat stance and turns into a blu-oh no.

You immediately turn around and bra-the blunt side of the blade hits you and smacks you into the ground!

You eat dirt, and grumble in exasperation. why can every swordclown just disappear and slash you out of nowhere!?

That thought won't be entertained as you roll out of the way and dodge a downwards thrust as the knight makes a crater on the ground.

You hear falls off your neck, sliced apart by a sword slash coming from the dust.

Game over.

Not! you predicted the move and move out of the way like a bad ballerina, the trees behind you and some rocks are sliced apart as a crimson slash continues, they’re not cutting you.

You've dodged quicker and less telegraphed attacks in your life, and once every man holding a sword does the same trick...

You start to learn the patterns.

"Heh, guess you're not some random hunter after all" you remove some of the grass on your cheek and smile. That blow of the sword did nothing but slightly bruise you, which means it doesn't have an of those youkai-slaying nonsense shenanigans strapped onto it. which means it won't turn of your youkai regeneration ergo the odds are in your favou-one sec he's gone again.

The sword whooshes past the back of your neck as you simply did a forward roll like a child playing around, again that nonsense only works the first time.

Oh yeah where were you? Because no matter how skilled a human is, they need to make only one mistake. just a single simple mistake before a crippling injury pulls them out of the fight

The Knight's feet shake for a short second as they suddenly stop and plants their sword into the ground. They don't seem pleased by how much fun you're having.

Then points at your Saw arm with a thumbs down as he spawns a smaller sword out of nowhere and throws it next to you.

Uhuh, in simple terms the thing wants an old school swordfight: No flying, no magic, no doo-hickey teleport spamming or sword beams. Just a REAL fight to the death.

Thing is you've never really used a sword before, other than playfights that it.

But on the other hand if you can annoy it just by dodging. imagine the sheer frustration it will feel at being outpaced by a complete noob.

You devote years of your life only to be bested by a little girl who hasn't held a weapon longer than 5 minutes, the sheer rage would be delicious.

True, you're not taking this that seriously. and the lad can have more tricks up their sleeve.

But right now? at this place and time? despite the fact you wake only a few moments ago.

Conflict just makes your blood boil! you want to crush the man by pushing picking them up and letting gravity do the work! you want to cook the man by heating his armour with danmaku! you want his last coherent thoughts to be complete regret and despair at having been humiliated and crushed by someone who should not even be a challenge!

You slap your own tummy; bad stomach now is not the time to fantasize just yet.
You'll get yummy food inside you later so focus for now.

Now then, how shall we hunt the buff lamb in the tin can?

[ ] Show him a whole new world Drop his ass from the sky
[ ] Swordfight? kind of cliché but who's to say no to new things!
[ ] Wield Narumi, who just happened to be walking by as a weapon instead.
[ ] Just keep having fun at it's expense, it'll tire out eventually.
[ ] Be a sourpuss and actually take this seriously (What's the strat?)
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[x] Swordfight?
But beat him to death with the flat of the sword. Be as artless and graceless about it as possible for maximum humiliation.
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[x] Wield Narumi, who just happened to be walking by as a weapon instead.

I was going to immediately do dual sword and chainsaw fight, but literally why the flying fuck is she here?
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[x] Be a sourpuss and actually take this seriously

Tryhard time. First off fly to the trees and shoot danmaku at him, if he retreat or take cover then grab Rinnosuke's sword, swoop down and hit him with both your youkai strength and momentum from gravity and flying speed. If he is still alive then push him down and bite his neck.
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Ladies and smaller ladies

Now is the time you've all been waiting for!

The Tie breaker Dojo is still in maintenance.

Please enjoy the temporary replacement and see you soon again!

Entertainment Program Ruukoto!

Here to make time fly faster than you can count to PI!

Storytelling.exe start


Communicator Entertainment Program "ConAgent 6.9 (Six-point-Nine)" Episode 2. <In the previous episode....> 6.9, the ConAgent, locates a junk factory run by J.O.E., the catalogue of conspiracies, but as she infiltrates the factory grounds, the shrill screams of the 'Sexy Mama Don't Approach Sensor' at the entrance pierce the night! Will Six-point-Nine triumph!?


69: That was close.

420: What?

69: ....420, do you read?

420: You okay, Six?

69: Yes, I made it safely into the factory grounds.

420: But the 'Sexy Mama Don't Approach Sensor' ....?

69: Now all I've got to do is get inside the factory....

420: What about the sensor?

69: Oh, shut up! You know if you didn't dwell so much on little things, you would never have been suckered into buying J.O.E. junk with the Ms. Huggy Froggy pillow ploy!

420: Oh really! So are you saying you've never had a bad shopping experience with catalogues, Six?

69: Never.

420: Liar! What about that 'Hot Hop' shoes you bough last winter?

69: Still using them. Thanks to these, I can walk around outside without getting chilly feet.

420: You're lying!

69:It's true, 420. I'm wearing them right now.

420: That's a rip-off product that heats up only when you keep them plugged into a wall outlet! How the hell can you <Take a Hot Hop outside and keep your toes snugly> in that piece of junk!

69:....I was raised by penguins in the South Pole. During blizzards, we'd all pack close together and wait it out. It was damned cold.... But thanks to those early days, my body can tolerate any kind of cold weather. Even if 'Hot Hop' isn't plugged in, I can wear them as normal shoes and that's enough to get through the winter in.

420: So why didn't you just buy regular shoes to begin with!?

69: Shut up! Stop poking into other people's past!

(The following exchange is censored due to the overabundance of swear words, spite and gruesome scenarios of what they'll do to each other mothers as a threat)


Woman: Who's there!? (Someone heard the shouting! our hero's cover is blown!)

69: Huh!

420: Six? Did you say something?

69: It's not me. There's somebody else!

Woman: Who is this!?

69 :....A woman?



Ruukoto: To be continued


Tiebreaker? Spare Tiebreaker maam?

pwease donate im broke

Jk, but yeah I'll roll an die tomorrow if it's still a tie by then.
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Time to roll ze dice

Rolling 1d3 => 2
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The fight
You walk closer to the blade and look at it, it's the exact same version as the one he got except a tad smaller and lighter.

Then you look at him "So you want a fair fight is that it?" you ask with a bored tone.

The knight doesn't say a word, and only presumes a battle stance.

"Dude, can't you at least give the effort of doing a head up or down? I'm no man reader, I'm a man eater" you complain.

Your opponent pauses at that and lowers their head a bit to reply yes.

"Duly noted" and you decide on your new weapon.

It shall be the girl that's just walking by!

You rush towards her and tackle her into the ground, a shriek of fright comes out but that's all she gets.

Those long braided black hair, that old fashioned grey robe, the way she looked down when she walks.

That girl is a NERD, you can smell it.

People like that deserve to be disrespected.

It's the law of the jungle, the strongest can do whatever!

Ignoring her protests and modest hesitation, you hold both of her legs like one would the handle of a sword and point your new weapon at the sky!

"Rejoice! girl I don't know, for you have been chosen to serve as the mighty blade of Rumia herself"

She's saying things rapidly with tears of joy in her eyes, you assume she's thanking you for the honour of joining your quest.

You pat her head with affection...wait that's too far away, so you pat her butt with affection instead "I feel the same way, let our bond be a marvellous one"

She shivers in joy, so happy to be blessed with your touch that its kinds of disturbs you.

Not only that but girl is far heavier than you expected, and her skin feels cold and hard to the touch. It is as if she was made from stone.

Which would be perfect since you'd need just that. The best way to harm a hard object is to smash it with an even harder one!

You dub her Harder than Darkness or would Sword Breaker be a better name?

The knight loses patience and charges at you with a sword slash aimed at your head!

You decide now is the time to test your weapon and smash at the blade like a club!

Both weapons impact on one another, but this time you're the one pushed away! your opponent continues his wild frenzy of swings and you're forced on the defensive! his sword strikes harder and faster with each strike as it slowly turns into a blur yet every time the impact is hampered by the blade you wield! Finally, he forces your guard open and kicks you in the stomach! The knockback sends you flying!

You twirl around in mid-air and press your saw arm into the ground to land. The swordsman gives chase and is but a few feet away from trying the same thing again!

You won't let that happen!

Moonlight Sign: Moonlight Ray: A rain of danmaku comes surging out of you. the yellow bullets home straight at the man! but they don't slow him a lot as he rushes between the gaps between the pattern and prepares himself for a slash aimed at your neck. Decapitation is imminent!

"FIRE!" The twin lasers spawn from behind you and shoot you straight towards him! you hold your weapon firmly like a lance as you prepare for collision! the weight makes you spin like a spiral!

Realizing what you're about to do, the knight stops his charge and prepares for a counter. but it comes too late as you smash straight into his chest!

Both of you get dragged into a straight line for a while, sparkles surging out as your weapon collides with his armour once, twice, thrice! You'd boast about how amazing it looks but your stomach is killing you!

And something shatters alright, as your sudden duo flight comes to a halt.

The knockback hits both of you, and your face becomes reacquainted with the ground again.

But you're okay in a way, your weapon is taking a nice nap though.

You get up with some pain in well most of your everything and look at your surroundings: dry dusty grass is on the ground, trees with no leaves are everywhere and the air smells of ashes.

Yep, you've gone a tad deeper into the Forest of Magic, guess the fires didn't spread to the outskirts of it. Also, where did your opponent go?

Up? No birds. Left? Nope, right? There's some smoke emanating and a figure coming out of oh it's it!

It's a skeleton! not actually that's the wrong word. one sec: The knight’s chest armour has been shattered, revealing its true nature to you: odd pieces like clockworks are where organs its should be as a putrid black oil works as the blood for it's system. One of the pieces is a red round vermillion gem encased in the lower abdomen, you think it's the heart since it's beating and pulsing even though objects don't do that.

Uh, yeah, this stuff really isn't your specialty, but you guess the good old logic applies here: Hit the weak point and your enemy dies faster!

Speaking of the enemy, it is looking at you with a mighty fierce glare. They remove even more of their own armour since there's no more point in holding onto it and replace their great sword with a rapier.

The Red Knight turned into a Red Fencer huh? well you're sure that they're going to be faster now if not more brutal due to the whole trapped rat in the corner thin-Pfffffff.

"Pfahahahaha!" you hold your stomach in mirth. "You're so weak! I'm barely hurt, not even going all out and here you are at death's door. some knight you are!" you mock it.

If it had eyes, you swear it'd be twitching them in rage now, the gem inside of it shines as it gathers more energy inside itself and pop another one appears! and then another! and then an....Oooh.

Those aren't copies or anything, they are after images.

How do you know?

Well, the fact your cheek is bleeding even though you are several feet away is a major indicator.

"Okay that's a bit better~ but compared to the dinner of pain that I faced earlier you're nothing but fast food!" You're not that worried since hey one more hit and it's going to drop dead.

The worst it could do to you is inflict massive pain probably? your cheek has already he-and that's another cut. is it boasting or what?

Oh, looks like they surrounded you now in a 20-meter radius. they're moving so fast it's like you're in the middle of a tornado.

You're not in the mood for metaphors and frankly are starting to get a bit bored of this.

Why don't people have the decency to just drop dead when you want them to?

Though if you had to be an optimist then the way they glisten like rubies mid run is quite beautiful.

Anyway, let's get rid of those bozos and get back to Kourin for a proper food afterwards.

(About your Nonconsenting weapon Loyal Ally)

[ ] Sword Breaker was a good sport, drop her and leave her out of this. She has fulfilled her role

[ ] Sword Breaker makes a fine tool, keep using her. You must introduce her to your other servants later

(How will you fight?)

[ ] No point in being fast if you can't see! Darkness and Danmaku!
[ ] No point in being fast if they can't reach you! into the air!
[ ] Those are WIMP methods! (Use something better/Write in)

Author Note: Fwooh! consider me humbled!

>>31483 and to answer your question, why not? it's the same reason as to why you had the option to genuflect or fall in love with someone you didn't even know.

Because it's that kind of story and I'm challenging myself to work a tad out of my comfort zone too!

Though fight scenes are still a tad hard to do, I'm sure I'll get better with time.

I hope you're all enjoying the story so far and will await your votes warmly!

Though one more question: What did you all think of the tie breaker posts? figured they'd be nice instead of just not updating until a tie is broken but if they're like disruptive I can stop doing em.

Also Nice weekend!
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[x] Sword Breaker makes a fine tool, keep using her. You must introduce her to your other servants later
Good cudgel.
[x] No point in being fast if you can't see! Darkness and Danmaku!
I wonder if you can do any interesting danmaku with a chainsaw?

I'm loving the story right now. I do also enjoy the episodes of secret agent 6.9 for all of its insanity. The proper tie breaker dojo is a pretty fun diversion as well.
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Okay let's get our facts straight.

Tin can got an instant diet and became several me-no he's just super fast now.

The plural of them have surrounded you with unwholesome intent.

You're not such a fast girl yourself, nor can your eyes really follow their movement.

So, you know what? If you can't see, then no one should!

Let Darkness rule! a large of sphere of darkness surrounds the area!

At the same time, you drop prone to avoid the mass skewering that would follow.

The piercing pain in your back tells you that you've been stabbed five times in that timeframe...and that makes no sense at all.

You're telling me that in the time it took for your body to hit the ground, the thing crossed the entire distance. circled around your back and then stabbed you five times?

You're not sure if it's super speed after all, but if it is then that's overpowered BS.

It's BS like that remind you of how much you dislike super speed. Not only does it make chasing people way harder than it needs to be, but it only gives those that fight like uh what's a fancy word for like the opportunity to harm someone? hmmm.

Never mind that thought, you're in the middle of a darkness ball and naturally have it shoot out a bunch of danmaku at random patterns. if you didn't do that then the knight could simply walk in and like stab every corner until they eventually reach you right? the sound of blades hitting the ground nearby c-Oh they're actually doing that.

You should probably make up a plan now.

Like a smart plan.

Though to be fair the blinding your foe was a great idea and using danmaku to keep em at bay since they've got no idea where it would come out is smart too.

But now you need a plan to actually hurt it in this state, how does harm someone with super speed?

You roll around a bit and make yourself comfy on your back, can't think if the grass disturbs you.

Sword breaker is used like a pillow for your head, she's not saying no to it.

She's a good girl, isn't she? so eager to serve and please. that's some top tier servant material~

You'll be sure to introduce her to the others after this, hopefully they won't get jealous.

It's not like you could use Rin or Marisa like a cudgel, they'd crack faster than eggs if smashed against a hard surface.

Oh, the noise of metal is getting a tad louder, still outside of the circle of not light though. you gave it a range of 15 meters.

Why is that? simple, consider the following.

If you try shooting it with lasers or danmaku, their super reflexes will simply let it dodge it.

Try hitting it with a heavy weapon like your Saw or Sword Breaker and they'd dodge AND counter you.

Everything that can be dodged or countered will most likely turn for the worse hmmm.

You rub your chin in thought and ask yourself: So how does someone beat a faster opponent? how did the hunters of old do it?

You could try ambushing it? use the opportunity of surprise to land a deadly blow!

Nah, again super speed= super reflexes shenanigans mean it could simply dodge again.

Try to out speed it? you've got no experience with those extreme speeds other than go in straight lines and hope for the best.

Then the last thing you can do is: Make it harder for it to reach you instead!

Entering the darkness is a tactic too foolhardy for it to follow, it would take away it's vision and the risk of being ambushed is far greater too.

And it's obvious it cannot take that hit.

But it's not like it can just wait it out either, since if it does then your pals should be arriving in just a moment maybe?

They probably won't but he doesn't know that. either way now he's the one at a stalemate!

Does he risk entering the dark zone or will he not? that's up for you to find out.

You giggle and pat your own back, you're a clever girl for thinking that.


Nothing is happening now, not a single sound can be heard coming from it.

On second thought you underestimated your own sense of boredom.

But you're not taking the first step! the moment he does is the moment an opportunity comes!

At least you think so.


Anyway, you're bored so you look at your fat lard of a saw hand. you wonder if it's edi-NO! not that kind of thought!

You look at your hand and move it around a bit, the sensation still feels alien to be honest if not just icky. Like it's not even a cool replacement of a hand it's just a stout circly rectangly thingie of metal with sharp edges, what do you even do with that? guess it'd make for some cool spell cards?

Huh....Something Sign: Cleave the Moon!: and then like you'll shoot out pointy circles which fall down in a straight line so the opponent goes to hide at the bottom, except then they realize that once the saw bullets reach the bottom they attach themselves to the edges of the screen and make their way back up again! so then the foe has to deal with saws from above while trying not to go too far away either? that'd be pretty cool.

What's the edge of a screen? heh, that's a fun topic for a later date.

Then again, you're just talking to yourself right now, not like anyone can hear this.


He's still not taking the bait huh? jeez, but still, you won't be the one to move first. every moment it doesn't do anything is a moment in which your strength is coming back.

As in now, you're at 100% now. couldn't feel any bette-ew there's some drool nearby you.

Oh, it's just Sword Breaker murmuring as they wake up. "Uh wha-" you give her a gentle tap on the head to make her stay down, now’s not the time for this and swords don’t talk.

It's hollow how curious, does that mean it has no organs? could this thing be a living object then?


DO SOMETHING ALREADY! is what you want to shout.

Like seriously why it hasn’t acted yet? this is supposed to be some cool battle yet here you are lying in some comfy shade waiting for an attack that just doesn't come!

Isn't this the part where he shows some special attack or some dramatic revelation!? GIVE A GOOD FIGHT DAMMIT!

Or does he know? does he know the fact that you know that he knows you expect him to get in? cause if you totally expected him to expect th-I'M BORED!

You get up and hold Sword Breaker over your shoulder with one hand, like a samurai who saw their city burn you behold the non-existent horizon with another flame of the heart doused out.

Frankly speaking, your sense for the dramatics has been immensely disappointed.

This day and fight has been officially ruined.

Guess you''ll have to do the first move after all...

[ ] Call out to him "FACE ME COWARD!" and wait even more. (Wait in short)

[ ] Release the darkness and prepare for an all or nothing homerun. (Reveal and Melee)

[ ] Surge out of the darkness like a tiger with lasers! (Rush out and shoot everywhere)

[ ] Another strategy. (Something better)

Author note: Not sure if I conveyed it well, but essentially both of you are camping (As in refuse to leave a position that doesn't give you the advantage) as far as Rumia knows.

That's a pretty lame tactic in her opinion, despite the fact she did it first.
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[X] Call out to him "FACE ME COWARD!" and wait even more. (Wait in short)
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[x] Call out to him "FACE ME COWARD!" and wait even more. (Wait in short)
Who'd have thought that hyper speed fencer man was more of a little girl than we are?
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Stay calm stay calm do NOT FALTER

As if you'd be beaten that easily!

A fight is a contest of physical and mental strength after all, the first person to move is the one that admits the other is smarter.

Or simply has more time to waste.

Now that you think about it you don't have anything planned today anyway.

Wait, waaaait! you think you DID say something right? something important! at least it felt like it?

Oh well it'll come back in time then.

So, you just lay there in comfort with your new servant, unmoving and uncaring like a leaf carried by the wind.

Unlike said leaf your thoughts are brimming with impatience and boredom, hurry up.

That's not a joke, when you can't see anything and the only person you talk to doesn't reply.

Time starts to feel eternal.

"Speaking of which, I've heard that humans who are exposed to darkness for 3 days straight will go insane, because like the fuzzy idea maker in their heads start to mentally gaslight them with things that aren't true. Like There's something behind you or You're being watched, the demons are coming though when I make the shadows that tends to be true! so even a broken clock ticks right once a day!" you continue conversing with Sword breaker.

Sword breaker does not reply, no more sound comes from your surroundings either.

"Did you fall asleep? don't blame ya" you yawn "The shade IS pretty comfy to be in, you and many others know that. Speaking of those they tend to be troublesome! Instead of asking me if they can enter the bubble or walk around with me they just barge into the spot and nap, or hell if they're fairies just attach themselves to me to cool off....even killing them doesn't dissuade them from it hence I've grown to dislike physical affection, someone pat my head or give me a hug and I can't help but think of a bunch of little girls consuming me in a cuddle pile brrrr" the memory shakes you "And sure that sounds mighty adorable but I tell ya get tackled out of the sky by a bunch of gremlins and you'll see how cute you'll find it after the thirteenth timy something! It's a miracle I haven't met any of them so far today. Place should be crawling with the lot but who am I to complain?"

You chat even more to avoid boredom, but soon run out of things to say.

.... The silence feels almost deafening now

But it's okay, you can deal with this!

After all you're strong and disciplined, you are a good girl!

And humble enough not to overplay it either, who cares if he doesn't reply? You got time~


OHFORTHELOVEOF-"COME OUT YOU COWARD!" Nope, you can't pretend the good vibes are with you "Fight me already or else I will...EAT ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!" you shake a fist in anger towards it.


Again, it doesn't respond, hell you're starting to doubt that it's eve-not! that's what it wants you to think doesn't it!? the moment you remove the darkness to peek your face will become a shiz kebab.

You are smarter than that, smart enough to not let your emotions get the best of you. A hunter must be patient in times, and the more you wait the better the taste in the end, right?

Doesn't stop you from taunting it with your masterful insults as you stand up. "I'll start with your mom cause she's fat like a cow! and then your dad because he looks like a mountain of ice cream! okay sure I don't know where they are right now but I'm certain that once I manage to get the address, I'd be able to come to your house and just eat them into itsy little Bitsie's and that will hurt your feelings! unless you're an orphan? If so HA HA HA on you! When you were born your mother took like one look at you cause that's all she needed, the one look I mean cause like people can see from both eyes right? wait isn't it both looks cause you'd have two loo-anyway she took one look at you then back at the doctor cause they were too and she said something nasty! something fierce even! like uh like "I want a refund sir! I did not heat the bun in my oven for 9 months just to get mouldy white bread! Nuhu sir I want another bebe! what do you mean I have to wait another 9 months cause that's how long babies are to be born!? just let me exchange my baby with someone else's then, no one will ever know! cause he's so ugly get it? so ugly no one could recognize them as the-You get where I'm going with this Orphan boy? GOOD" the savagery is sure to destroy them mentally.


Guess what? No response.

"NGGH! NNNGGH!" NO! you breathe in deeply and breathe out, to give an angrish mess of a reaction would be to play in their hands, you won't lose to it! you'll never lose to anyone again!

So, you think happy thoughts, think of good memories as you caress Sword breaker's hair, their braids feel a bit warm and smooth compared to the rest of their cold and hard exterior. Does that mean only the hair is alive or is this one of those weird tsukokiwhatever things? anyway good times! let's think of some.... like just yesterday!

You woke up and saw Cirno first thing in the morning! "Good morning!"

She was busy eating your arm (which woke you up) and smiled at you like a ray of sunlight "Mworning!"

"Why are you eating me? are you hungry?" you inquired immediately since being eaten, regardless of friend or foe didn't seem like a fun time.

She stopped drooling at your sleeve (Her teeth did not pierce your clothes) and got up while looking thoughtful. "I've thought of a new method to become stronger than I am now"

"Huh, you were thinking? but aren't you Cirno?" you replied, barely awake and so unable to hold back.

"What does that mean?!" Cirno pouted with her arms crossed right in your face and sighed shortly afterwards. "Whatever, look some things are natural right? like how birds eat insects?"

"Small head means a small bra-" you stopped and corrected yourself just in time "Yeah? some birds eat fruit and meat though. what are you going for?""

"Look the strong eat the weak, birds are stronger than insects, so they eat them, but Rumia is stronger than birds, so you eat the birds, right?"

"Myeah? if any of em get close then sure I'll take a bite out of them! guess that makes me stronger than them"

"So Rumia eats birds, birds eat insects. sooooooo" The ice fairy gave you a weird look then.


"If I eat you, I'll become the strongest of those!" she exclaimed with a fist in the air, proud of her own genius.

"You're stronger though?" you corrected her "Wouldn't eating someone weaker than you make you weaker?"

Cirno did not seem convinced "Nuhuh, I'm a genuis and since it's my plan it CANNOT be wrong!"

".... Okay, why don't you just eat the strongest then and skip the whole process?"

"Hm? the strongest what?"

"The strongest person in the land, beat them and you'll be stronger than everyone no? the true ruler of the world and yada yawwnnn" you rub your eyes and were about to snooze again. Cause Nocturnal.

"But who's the strongest of the land?" Cirno noticed and slapped her cold hand on your forehead to keep you awake "Tell me who the strongest is and I'll beat them up!"

"Hnggghu c-c-o-o--l-l-d-d! okay fine uh.... I don't know beat up the shrine maiden and witch and you'll be the best yippee kajay and all that stuff"

Gears grind in her head, as she looks at the sky with determination. "So, if I beat all the witches and shrine maidens, I'll be the strongest?"

"Sure" now leave please.

"Okay!" she shouted in cheer and did a fist pump "I'm going now then! thanks for the help, I'll remember you once I become a legend!" and she flied off.

And that's it, on second thought that wasn't really a happy memory huh? still better than nothing.

Wait was that really yesterday? more like yester yesterday maybe? otherwise she wouldn't be missing right?

Whatever, it doesn't matter right now, not like anything will happening

Speaking of nothing happening...

Guess who's still not responding.

That's right!


COME ON! you don't know how much time passed but at the least let something happen already!

There's only so much you can do in a sphere of darkness that doesn't involve sleeping!


[ ] Wait, you will NOT falter! resist the urge!

[ ] FINE, you'll come out and make the bastard pay!

[ ] SCREW THIS, you're leaving this joint.

[ ] Unleash your RAGE to the world. (Warning: Heavy amount of Angrish can lead to a early visit to the heaven gates)

Author: Half a mind to just write down

Nothing happens.

[ ] Continue waiting

[ ] Do something else

But that'd be lazy~

Anyway hope you enjoyed your weekend.
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>Wait, waaaait! you think you DID say something right? something important! at least it felt like it?

Oh yeah, we were gonna check on the ashes of fanon... OH WE HAVEN'T CONFIRMED FANONS DEAD!

[x] SCREW THIS, you're leaving this joint.
Grab Marisa, we've got more important stuff to do!
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Where did he go
You know what?

Screw all of this, if that knight refuses to reveal themselves and makes this whole fight such a bore to be in.

Then you'd rather not fight at all, with that in mind you remove the darkness.

And see your opponent is nowhere to be seen, they're not even in the area anymore...there's only the forest itself, quiet like a graveyard.

That dude just ran away, while you were waiting like a mighty feline that thing just went off and skedaddled!

...You feel IMMENSELY cheated, if someone made a cake in front of you, with your favourite flavour and all only to throw it at the ground at the last possible moment.

You'd still wouldn't feel as upset as you are right now.

The only thing that's been achieved here is that he wasted both your time and energy.

The thought of possibly tracking him down back to their nest comes to mind but screw it.

Let's go fetch the Witch and continue our other quest first and foremost.

With a sigh and a rude word, you dote on your weapon a bit to calm down and fly back to Kourindou.

Like a saucy hawk you soar through the air with one arm outstretched.

The sight of your territory below makes yo-TREE!

You barely dodge it and slow down your pace. Them woods sure rise high.

Anyway, you're back! didn't take more than half a minute with your flight speed.

Fly every day of your life and eventually you start to get good at it.

Wait that applies to everything doesn't it? Tomato Potato if you're that wise you should write a book!

You enter the store and the musk of an actual good brekkie floats to your nostrils; it triggers the funny dopa juice.

Your heart flutters, your lungs wheeze and your mouth leak a bit as you fly into the living room entranced "F~O~O~D~♥"

Marisa and Rin-chan are sitting on a big couch together, 3 feet apart cause they ain't married. They're eating something you don't recognize while watching some box that makes a lot of noise.

"Get up Rexy! Come on you can do it ze! Show them who's the real Dino!" The witch is on the edge of her seat, shouting words of encouragements towards the box. did she go crazy?

"Calm down" Rinnosuke doesn't seem that immersed in comparison. "They're the heroes anyway, those never die at the end. they'll win somehow and the action man will make out with the girl shortl-"

"No spoilers ze!" The witch gives him a tap on the head and continues watching with a gleam of excitement in her eyes "Don't ruin this for me, it's the finale! the climax! the final stage boss!"

He grumbles in response and puts his plate down. Head resting against the couch "You've watched it already-" then he finally notices you. "Oh, welcome back" no joy comes out that statement.

You drop Swordbreaker on the ground and immediately float up to his face "Where's the food at? Did you leave any for me?" You smile sweetly.

"Why is Naru-" You grab him by the shoulders "Kitchen, head to the counter. take a plate and dig in" You let go and head to the kitchen.

The kitchen is a kitchen, it has a floor that looks like a floor and kitchen stuff that looks like kitchen stuff.

Shocking I know, but anyway you want the rumbles in the tumbles and the source of the yum buns are right there in a pan!

It looks like a bunch of rolled meat buns covered in mushrooms like a bald man wearing an afro, it smells good and hopefully it isn’t poisonous.

You just pick up the pan with both hands, open your mouth and BONNE APPETIT!

The mushrooms don't taste like regular mushrooms, they are mild and soft rather than chewy and woody and have the crispy juicy taste of the sauce that dripped off the meat.
The meat itself has been well marinated with an exotic taste of wine giving the beef jerky like taste a much bigger oomph! Together they combine to a flavour out of this world!

It's delicious! it's so yummy tears are coming out of your eyes, your cheeks redden, and your face is becoming blue cause you're not breathing! YOU HAVE TO EAT IT ALL!

A few painful but heavenly seconds later you're done. you ate all of it. your feet are shaking as you're holding onto the table and can barely stand.

A few more seconds and you exhale in satisfaction, boy that was a good meal~

But you are not satisfied by this, your stomach doesn't feel any different.

You hunger for Anon.

"Rumia! we need to talk to you!" Rin calls out to you; his voice sounds sterner than usual.

"Coming!" summon the darkness and it shall arrive "What do you want?" you ask in good humour.

The atmosphere is completely different once you re-enter, what was once two buds having a good time is two buds taking care of your knocked out Sword Breaker and looking at you like you did something foul.

Scratch that, it's just Rin looking at you disapprovingly as he's touching your servant's neck and putting her in some weird position. "What did you do to her?"

Marisa is still shouting at the box and has progressed from siting to getting over to the screen and shaking it with some fierce uh hype? "Get off the high heels ze! the T rex is coming for your ass you dumb bimbo!"

"Rumia" Rinnosuke repeats himself with a colder tone and a frown murking his usual I'm-pretending-to-be-cold-but-actually-really-really-love-you-dear vibe. "Can you explain to me why Narumi is knocked out and covered in dirt and blood? did you hurt her?"

You shrug, as if you'd ever harm someone for the funsies. "Who do you think I am? do I look like a sadist to you?" you cross your arms, offended by his mistrust in you.

"Probably" He says with zero hesitation "You've never been someone to be that gentle to other people, wouldn't be surprised if you messed her up just because she got in your way"

"And if I did? You lose a spell card battle then the winner is free to do whatever. I didn't do nothing bad Rin-chan! besides didn't you watch me? "

"No, I lost interest midway and here I am. but please explain to me what kind of scenario has trans folded while you were busy"

Uhuh, you know you're used to the cold treatment but the way his eyebrows are doing the thing show that he clearly expects some nonsense from you.

His lack of faith though offensive it may be, is not that misplaced. You ARE a youkai after all.

But of course, you had a most sensible reason for this.

That being...

[ ] The girl is your servant; she did her job as Sword breaker well and led you to victory.
[ ] You defeated her and established yourself the Alpha. Now she must follow you.
[ ] You have no need to explain your actions and will be going with Marisa now.

[ ] For some reason, deception seemed suitable (Insert a lie here)
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[x] You defeated her and established yourself the Alpha. Now she must follow you.

I mean...she never even attempted to break away. That's just victory by default.

Also, I see Rumia's diction is inversely proportional to her hunger level. Neat.
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[x] Deception seemed suitable.

[x] You saved her life from the big mean knight, now she must repay the life debt by serving you.

I love the boldness of saying "Sword breaker is my bitch now" in front of Rinnosuke but with that logic the man can just make Marisa dominate us instead.

Now we only have to hope he will actually believe it
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Ladies and smaller ladies!

It is time for the time you've all been waiting for!

We've finally figured out the main source of our problem and it shall be solved soon.

Expect to see it again soon enough.

Meanwhile, please be entertained with our dear storyteller AI.

Entertainment Program Ruukuto!

Here to make time fly faster than you can count PI!

Storytelling.exe start.

Communicator Entertainment Program "ConAgent 6.9 (Six-point-Nine)" Episode 3! <In the previous episode....> Against all odds, Six-point-Nine succeeds in infiltrating the junk factory run by J.O.E., the catalogue of conspiracies. But a shadowy figure of a woman emerges in front of her! Will Six-point-Nine triumph!?


69: Stop shouting! I'm not dead yet!

420: Six, you're okay?

69: Yeah, barely. if it wasn't for the 'Meany Kitty go away Spray' <Avoid a long day of being run on fumes and getting the crap scratched out of you by using this product, only a single dose and your feline foe will feel like it's been ridden hard and put away wet!> that tiger would have killed me. What kind of woman takes animals to their job anyway?

420: ....Is it the enemy, Six?

69: I don't know, MAYBE? She's coming this way. I'll have to fight after all!

420: What do you mean have to? did you run away from her? that's quite cowardly Six..

Clop, clop, clop...

69: Shut up! I'm a lover not a fighter, if I see a cute woman I show her my belly button not the fist. That's on the honor of-

Clop, clop, clop...tack!

Woman: It's Six-point-nine, isn't it?

69: How....Who're --

Woman: Don't you remember? We were at ConAgent Academy together. It's me, Kasen.

69: Karen? Jeez, how many years has it been?

Karen: Don't you show your belly button! I haven't forgiven you yet!

69: You're still mad? About me buying a ton of infomercial products with your credit card?

Karen: And sending me the ton of stuff that didn't work out to me house.

69: Well, I thought you'd be glad to....

Karen: Oh, who do you think you're fooling! What kind of an idiot would be glad to have an 'Even-an-Elephant Storage Box?' All it is that it's bigger than an elephant!

: Gosh, sounds like you were pretty out of control, Six?

69: I was young....

Karen: I faked being an employee of this factory. I've been waiting all this time for you just so I can get even with you!

69: So you must know your way around here, Kaz.

Karen: What if I do? You're not getting any help from me, not even if you use an affectionate nickname.

69: I love you, Kaz. Always have.

Karen: ....What?

69: Help me out here.

Karen: ....No way.

420: Nice and easy, Six, you've almost got her!


Karen: AAAH!

69: WOW!

420: What is it, Six?

69: Machine gun! We're under attack!

Karen: It's the armed guards!


69: Our health isn't going to get any better sticking around. Karen, let's call it a truce. Show me the way into the factory, please!

Karen: The hell I will!


69: We'll both get killed! Come on!

Karen: All right, all right! This way!


69: Okay, 420. We're going in.

420: Watch yourself, Six. It's even more dangerous inside!

420:...For some reason I have the urge to shout Six? Six! SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX?!

Ruukoto: To be continued.


>>31495 True, or perhaps Rumia just ignored it. She may have words when she wakes up or fight for her freedom but right now you have a job to do. Live bold!

>>31496 Ever heard of the saying "Don't give the Gm ideas?" Jk, but damn that would have been a good uno reverse card. Anyway that could be a good lie since it's your words against hers and she has no words to say right now.

With that. I'll hope for a tie breaker to come and will roll a die tomorrow if not.
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Rolling 1d2 => 2
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No punny title sadly
You open your mouth to speak and close it for a second "Just a gander"

On second thought, just saying the truth might give off the wrong impression.

Sure, you did pick up the girl and used her as a weapon.

Sure, you did not ask for her opinion.

But frankly you don't care. If someone's weak they don't get to complain.

Not like a human or half human would understand that as they've got morals.

Fancy word for being a wimp really, why hold back your own actions? just do whatever you want!

Be free like the wind, eat when you want to eat, sleep when you want to eat. Spend your days flying around aimlessly if that makes you happy and if someone stands in your way beat them up!

That's how a youkai do, that's how you do. "It was for a greater cause" you chirp back at him.

But in the end, the best way to beat a human is to use their own method "That cause being?"

Deception, the man-made tool shall be used!

"Survival~" you put your hand over your face like a dame about to tell a horrific tale "Oooh, it was horrible! here I was uh fighting the knight since they seemed like a bad dude yknow? their costume didn't really show off good will, so I took the first stri-"

Rinnosuke narrows his eyes and interrupts “Cut to the chase"

You speak loudly and slowly so he can understand "Knight bad, Me good, Knight want to hurt Girl, Me save Girl, Girl belongs to me now" and smile with the innocence of a pupper.

Rin-chan's look doesn't change at all, he crosses his arms and continues looking at you with suspicion "Is that all? if so, she can stay here"

Your smile wavers, mild annoyance starting to reek into your voice "Are you trying to steal her from me? I got her fair and square Rin-chan"

"That's incorrect" He pushes up his glasses "And I'm also saying that the girl in her current state would be of no use to you, or were you planning to drag her along all day?"

"Oh, but she's doing her job well!"

"Is that so?"

"That is so, she makes a fine cudgel~"

"...." The Shopkeeper is rendered mute after that sentence, it's like gears are grinding in his head while he's making heads out of tails. "What?"

"I'm saying her head makes a nice Bonk sound when it smashes against something, it's super funny" you giggle as you keep eye contact.

"And you see nothing wrong against that?" he sounds confused.

You nod after a short second "Nada! why would there be a problem?"

He lets out a deep sigh "Harming people for fun is-"

"Wrong? maybe to you, but it's the rules of nature Rin-chan: The strong walk on the weak. Everyone in the forest respect that"

"Since when?"

"As off right now!"

He gives another pause again, as if he did not know this, which is impossible since he lived here for a long time "You have a problem" which is not a question but a firm statement.

You blink, confused yourself this time "Okay that's rude, w-why would you say that?" and your eyes start to moisten.

He points at you with one finger, as if he resolved some mystery "There, the way you switch from happy to sad and friendly to hostile so rapidly. The fact your arm looks so...odd and your own actions right now.
They're so out of character that it can only mean one thing..." he pauses.

You huff as you lose composure "Out with it!"

"You're emotionally damaged" he finally says, "I only heard fragments of the earlier discussion you had with Marisa but it's clear to me that you've been deeply affected by whoever was responsible for the fire" What nonsense is he spouting?

You can't help but look down and hiss "I'm fine, and how I feel and what I do is none of your business" if looks could kill, he'd die from a heart attack. "Also, their name is Fanon" you try to change the subject.

"I beg to differ" and the man has the audacity of trying to touch your shoulder. He's not only pitying you but also looking down on you. A half man is looking down on you!

"Then beg!" You push him away, with not enough force since he only takes a step back. "Shut up! You're not smart! you're an idiot who's wasting my time! shut up and die!" and you move to pick up Sword Breaker and leave like the bigger person you are.

And meet face to face with a mini hakkero pointed at your well face "Hold your horses ze" the witch has come to the defence of her pal, looking mean and ready to beam. "You're not going anywhere till I get my answers"

Psh, as if you'd ever harm the guy for being a jerk. "Well then hurry up and shoot already! You think you're the boss of me? you think he's the boss of me?! WRONG! I am the boss! I am in control!" and you want this nonsense to move forward darn it!

"I don't like yer tone ze" She prepares to shoot "Back off, or I will shoot! any funny buz and-"

"Just let her go" Rinnosuke makes the witch lower her furnace like it's a firearm, then looks back at you condescendingly and sighs. "Fine, never mind all this. The two of you go out already and go look for clues or something. We can have this conversation later once you've calmed down and are willing to do so"

...Tsk, the know all know nothing jerk is acting like he understands everything. "Fine" but you're too tired to bother with another argument and start to walk out. "Ah almost forgot Sword Breaker" you lean to pick her up.

"You're not taking Narumi" Rinnosuke replies firmly.

"We don't do kidnappings ze, forget about it and get a move on" Marisa adds in.

It's starting like these guys are being more of a nuisance, but you hold any insult in and pocket one of his weird objects out of spite "I'm taking this then" it's the thing that doesn't come back when you throw it.

Maybe Dai would like it, at least she's a REAL friend (Youkai/Fairy) unlike these bozos.

Anyway, you're starting to have your fill of human dialogue and move out of the shop, Marisa stays behind a bit to chat with Rin some more but you're sure she'll catch up. If not that's even better.

The Sun is shining fiercely like usual; the sky is of a deep blue as the landscape surrounding the shop is of green shrubberies and large trees, the wind moves like a gentle breeze but reeks of ashes and blood. You're not sure whether to feel happy that the forest prevailed against the flames or uneasy since this could just be the prelude to something wors-whatever.

Enough musing and all that nonsense.

Are you a monster or a teenage girl in a bad romcom? The answer is monster, no matter what you look like the true you are the darkness that everyone unconsciously fears. The moonless nights where strange shadows can be seen, the monster inside your closet. The lurker of bad ends and professional hunter of outsiders.

That is who you are, you are strong and smart.

Nothing can defeat you!

Now the rest of the day is going to be simple.

First you find the Wriggle doll, then maybe a way to like resurrect it?

Wriggle comes back to life and everyone is happy yay!

Both of you go to Mystia's stand and forget the rest of this nonsense by getting drunk.

The witch is not invited to that and neither will Rin if he keeps acting like that.

Then all three of you can go look for your fairy friends in a fun team 9 adventure.

The finer details in-between will be figured out somehow, but shazam.

You are going to have a FUN adventure, and everything will turn out okay.

Now let's go!

Wait, you realized you could have said that Rin is halfbad.

Get it? oh that would have been a clever one. hehehe.

Ahem, let's go for realsies!

[ ] The domain of the Dollmaker, it's where the thing resided from right? maybe it's first victim has a clue.

[ ] The house of the Magician, it's where it died right? maybe there's a clue there if not confirmation of death.

[ ] The trials of the Knight, it was bleeding when it fled right? so even now you could track it down with smell.

You're going to visit both houses obviously, but everything needs a starting point.

[ ] Recover Sword Breaker, she belongs to you, and they just have to deal with it.
[ ] You no longer feel like having it, Rin sucked all the fun out of it.

[ ] Genuflect
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[x] The house of the Magician, it's where it died right? maybe there's a clue there if not confirmation of death.
Make sure it's down for good.

[x] You no longer feel like having it, Rin sucked all the fun out of it.
We just wanted a good cudgel, damn it!
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A house more like No house
You're ready to go and will in fact do so.

The going you mean, like going to the Witch house.

Wait, that's a useless statement.

Of course, you'd be going there, cause like where else would you find any clues? and if you didn't go there, you wouldn't say it cause you're not a liar.

Indeed, if someone says they go somewhere then they will go there.

You truly are a mighty hunter, and a mighty thinker. your brain pot is boiling the good idea juices.

Speaking of pots, you got to warm up the soup.

You rub your arms and feet to warm up.

Followed by a small hop up and down to get your bearings.

Then you end it with a flip and voila! you're in the air.

Gravity defeated, Kaboom! The world explodes as your coolness is of the charts.

But enough fooling around, you fly off into the woods.

You cover yourself inside your veil of shadows since you don't need to see where you're going.

The forest is a part of you, it's like exploring the back of your hand. Okay that'd be one hell of a hand though since the forest is freaky on its own.
From the chemical smell of the mushroom covered depths deeper inside, to the warm rocks and smooth grass off the outer layers.

Cheeky fairies chilling inside tiny houses up on trees planning for mischief, animal youkai's sleeping in caves and the great outdoors simply trying to live day to day.

You've seen all of it; you've met all of them. You are the closest thing to a landlord this place has...no, that title would belong to someone else.

Let's hope you'll never meet the Elders; those old coots don't need to know how you were involved in this.

Then again, the odds of that are super low since they live DEEP into the forest. like deep to the point that most youkai avoid it since the deeper you go the darker and more...not fun the place becomes.

Anyway, after smashing through only two trees this time, you make it!

The ruins of Marisa's domain lie before you, and uuuh wow.

Those are some big craters.

The ground is covered in like several cr-Imagine a cake, and now jab the cake with several long needles in a perfect motion from above.

No, that doesn't work here. it's like there are holes in the ground, BIG holes in the ground that are all perfectly round shaped. They're all filled with water.

You taste it, it's rainwater. Someone made it rain to put out the fire. Or a bunch of rain fairies did.

All the dirt and grass next to them have been disintegrated, sure there is classic proof of has been fire but the whole deal looks so clean.

Guess the heat of the boom made stuff go flame flame then? anyway her house has been blasted out of existence.

Can't wait to see how she'll react to the sight once she comes back.

But now is Investigation time! go go detective Rumba!

You get closer to the house; it is still gone.

Why? because it got blown up.

How? cause stuff went boom boom.

You praise your own memory, if stuff is this easy then the rest will be figured out in no time!

You look and walk towards the spot where you almost...you know.

The ground has been rayed apart by a nasty beam. the burn marks around it is non-existent as well and all the trees and rocks in the path are gone for miles.

Why? Cause someone shot out a powerful magic beam at someone else.

Who? Marisa shot the fanon, who else?

You think it's dead, no one could survive a Master Spark with murderous intent behind it.

Anything like blood or body parts have been disintegrated, burned down, or washed away by the rain.

So yeah, Fanon is dead, and Wriggle has been avenged.

…You don't feel that better, the Knight thing had the same smell and colour of blood as that thing.

Could there more of that freak lurking around? it didn't mention anything like that but why would it.

What's a master supposed to be anyway? does that mean there are like normal things of it around?

Like the master is the queen bee? there's no point in wild mass guessing.

Also, the voices haven't spoken to you for quite some time now, did you get fired from Anon hunting or something?

Not like that really matters, but you feel like you only got more questions from this. Not the satisfaction of like a revenge fulfilled.

Ugh, this whole thing suuuuuuuuuuucks! but anyway where are the other youkais?

Surely the crime scene would be overflowing with curious fair-"Over there!" a small female voice says.

Suddenly, from every bush, hole in the ground and leaf comes out a little girl, some dressed in leaves with green hair, others wearing clothes that are blue like water and yada yada yada.

It's a bunch of forest and rain fairies, all pointing their fingers at you. "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL BUM!" they all shout.

Did you jinx yourself? You totally did. Just because you forgot one fact: just you can't see a fairy doesn't mean they're not there. they're always everywhere

Cause there is a fairy for everything. "We fight for the sake of everyone's hopes and dreams!" and all of them will mess you up.

If you're the dumbest and weakest of things. "What's this all about?" you ask them with some mild uninterest.

"I don't know!" one leaf fairy says, "We fight for justice!" another flower fairy says. "To find and defeat the evil pie romancer!" the last rain fairy says helpfully, there are more responses but those were the most useful.

The heck is a pie romancer? is this some other game the fairies are playing. "Can you say more about that?"

She becomes more energetic because you paid her attention "Of course! we are the ones that wil-"

"Shut up!" a slightly taller fairy with blond hair slaps the back of rain one's head "Don't tell her anything! she might be an enemy spoiy!" and looks at you with suspicion. "Look she's wearing a red thing! fire is red too! that means she can set things on fire with her fire eye lasers!"

The crowd gaps in shocks, and they start to mutter amongst themselves "So fast already?”; "We found the final boss!”; "But she looks weak..." okay they're just being rude now.

You don't have time to waste "I'll just be going then..." and you move to walk away.

And are met with a barrage a laser and spread shots that don't hit you. "Don't move!”; “Freeze potato!" darnit.

The blond-haired girl separates from the crowd and approaches you "So Pie romancer, did you think you could just burn the forest and get away with it? YOU DON'T MESS WITH FAIRIES YO!"

You must hold in a laugh, the fairy is trying to be intimidating but just she looks adorable. Her glare is more like the view of a grumpy puppy pouting.

Though on one hand, how did you not notice them? fairies aren't exactly sneaky. even when they're out of sight they've got no indoor voices and laugh as often as birds chirp.

"Don't ignore me! stopping the fire wasn't easy! and our homes are gone too now. What are you gonna do about that huh? are you going to rebuild all of them or get the Super Justice Fairy Friends League and something something on your butt huh?" then she looks back at her friends to hype them up "Are we going to let her get scout-free! “?”

"NO!" they all shout back, falling for it.

"What do we want!?"

"JUSTICE!" they all shout "CANDY!" another one shouts, “CANDY JUSTICE!" liking the idea the others all mix the idea.

"That's right!" the blond one continues anyway "But the pie man burned our houses down! and you can't have candy when you don't have a place to put it in! all the candy is gone FOREVER!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" all the fairies cry out in pure agony, some of them even crying. "That's NOT FAIR! that's NOT FAIR!" they repeat in chant.

Huh, who knew they were so good at organizing mass whining's? "Apple is dead! she didn't wake up and just went poof!" What a tragedy

You tune out the rest since they just keep at it, having change focused again to whine about what they supposedly lost. "But I'm right here!" What a miracle

...Okay, you must get out of this somehow. the longer you stay here the more brain cells you feel like you're losing.

You can't be the culprit! you are sure you'd remember burning down a forest!

So now let's get out of this!

Prove your innocence!

[ ] You're a fairy too! fairies don't burn down fairy houses! (lie)
[ ] Just because you wear red that doesn't mean you can use fire. (Truth)
[ ] Where were YOU when the fire happened huh? (Accuse the accuser)
[ ] Another way to convince a bunch of angry little girls.

Just get out!

[ ] Fly away, literally you can just fly away. (Go where?)
[ ] Wait for Marisa and blame her instead let her draw the aggro.
[ ] Just shoot them all down.

[ ] Dance the dance of friendshipness.
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[x] Another way to convince a bunch of angry little girls.
What, you didn't see the monsters wandering the forest? The scary fake magician or the red knight?
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[x] Fly away, literally you can just fly away
Harukei shrine

A large group of angry looking fairies flying toward it would definitely be good target practice for a certain grumpy red wearing Miko.
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You know what?

I love both of those votes a lot, one is exactly the kind of question I hoped for and the second gives another opportunity as well.

I'll do both, but don't have the time to do so now right now. (Literally like 10 pm here)

But I'm not breaking my update ratio so have another ConAgent update and the real updates tomorrow.
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Communicator Entertainment Program Ruukoto:

"ConAgent 6.9 (Six-point-nine)" Episode 4! <In the previous episode....> 6.9, the ConAgent finally succeeds in infiltrating the nefarious junk factory of J.O.E. Corporation with the help of Karen, a woman from her past.

But what awaits her inside the nest of conspiracies!?

Keep sharp, Six-point-nine!

https://youtu.be/gNhEpMB3VI0 (Descent into the Factory Depths)

The factory was far bigger than one could believe from the inside, corridors adorned with blue pipes covering the walls where everywhere the eye could see, was it water coursing through them or something else?

Karen: Over here, Six-point-nine. (Our hero is led to the path the private staff use, straight corridors with nothing special in them, the odds of being caught here are almost nill. A very convenient way of transport!)

69: I owe you one, Kaz.

Karen: So why are you so interested in this factory?

69: Can't tell you. Classified information.

Karen: All right, then I have something else to ask you. Why did you buy me that thing way back when?

69: What thing?

Karen: You don't remember? The 'ErotoRope --'

69: Wait ...I'll talk. Classified schmassified!

420: What rope, Six?

69: Nothing!

Karen: So, what's the dirt on this plant?

69: You know that J.O.E. execs have been showing up a lot recently.

Karen: ...Yes, come to think of it, I've seen a lot of bad business suits around here.

69: Why would the suits show up in the 'Bod Bed' factory? I think the 'Bod Bed' is nothing more than camouflage!

Karen: What?

69:There must be something important going on here.

??: Ha-ha! Good thinking!

69: Who's there!?

??: Over here. Welcome to J.O.E.'s junk factory. (A cloaked figure jumps from the ceiling and lands in front of our hero)

69: You shouldn't talk about family that way.

??: Sorry, but it's staff only from this point on. You'll have to deal with me now.

Schnick! (An extra arm comes out of their back)


69: God! Is that J.O.E.'s 'Interpersonal Itchy Skratch'?

Karen: You mean....!? That back scratcher designed to scratch other people's itch as well as your own!?

69: Yes. To think it was on the market already....

Karen: But if you need to scratch someone's back, why don't you just use your hands....

??: Ha-ha! Did you think this was a regular 'Interpersonal Itchy Scratcher'? Think again!

Schni-Schnick! (Three more arms come out, the enemy has six of them now and they keep coming!)

Karen: Oh God! The handle extended! (That too!)

??: This is the 'Turbo Interpersonal Itchy Skratch for long distance back scratching!

420: What!? Can it be the ultimate back scratcher to reach all itches!?

Karen: Why can't you just do it with your hands!?

??: Silence! Take this! Once you've tasted the effect of this product you'll become another one of our consumers! become addicted to the heaven that is J.O.E!!

69: Kaz! Get down!



??: How could this happen? Why can't I scratch your backs!?

69: We're lying on our backs.

??: What!?

69: Since we're both lying on our backs, not even the 'Turbo Interpersonal Itchy Skratch' can get to them.

??: ....

??: You win. Go on.... (They let the heroes pass and leave in disgust) I'm just an unpaid intern anyway.

Karen: Good job, Six-point-nine!

69: Let's get going. Show me where the suits are hanging out.

Karen: You got it!



Ruukoto: To be continued.

With that, I bid ya'll goodnight.
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Hold on a moment.

"Just a second!" you shout at the fairies "Hey pals and gals! I know who Pie is!"

This is an opportunity.

The crowd stops crying and sniffles as they all look at you with mistrust. "B-but you're the on-"

If they are everywhere...

"Hold it!" You smash the nearby tree to silence them "Isn't it obvious? the real enemy are the anons!"

And surely, they should have seen some of them! so, they could have valid info!

It's interrogation time!

Fairy friends or whatever they call themselves all look at you with confusion

"Who's that?" says a leaf fairy with curiosity "Can it be pranked?"

"What's an Anon?" says a rain fairy confused by the term. "Is it yummy?"

"Is she trying to trick us?" another flower fairy says sceptically "She totally is!"

"Wait you don't know?" no that can't be right, there is no way "Come on, try to remember! hasn't any of you seen a scary puppeteer yesterday or a knight in red armour?"

Again, they look at you and murmur amongst themselves "I saw nothing like that”; "Uuh, I don't know why I'm even here”; "Oh I know! there's a bunch of em at the radio tower!"

That doesn't hel-"I saw everything!" the blond one says again and wanders into your darkness "I know everything that happened, and you will pay!"

Wait then how did she know you've got r-Oh the saw is pointing out of the sphere and now she's holding onto the edges as a way of travel "Almost there! you cannot hid-aaah!"

Then she trips on seemingly nothing and smashes her head against your shoe. "Uwaa.."

But fairies can f-Ignore the nonsense, you remove the darkness and pick the girl up by the neck "Are you okay?"

"Put me down! don't you know who I am!" the girl tries to play brave, but you can feel her body tremble.

Fear is the appropriate response, but on a closer look "Now that you say that..."

You remove the darkness to get a better look.

The girl DOES look familiar. Red eyes and yellow hair, arranged into those weird curly drill things.
A pair of wings on her back and she wears a black and white dress, and the iconic white Beret as a hat.

"We have met before, haven't we?" and you let go and do a pose “Look, it's a me. Rumia!"

"I already know that!" she backs away and flies up to your head level. "And we both know that YOU are the culprit" and there's actual venom in her voice now.

"Of what exactly?" You wish there was a way to fast forward conversations.

"Of being the pie romancer?" Lu-lu uh what was her name turns around and starts a speech to her brethren "Everyone, look at her. This is the girl that burned down our houses, blew up Marisa's house and took her life!"

"She's not dead" you interrupt, not liking the direction where this is going "And the other tw-"

"What?" the fairy grabs and shakes your modest little tie "Is that true?! don't you dare lie to us! I saw you loom over her dead body!!"

"...She's been with me all day, should be coming here now to-you know what? why don't we uh redo this conversation?"

"Redo? what do you mean?"

"'I mean, like stuff is getting confusing now. Like what do you think I did and all that gizmo"

"Oh sure" Loo? gives the other fairies a hand signal and they all sit down. "You sit too!"

You go ahead and sit cross-legged

"Okay so" the girl rubs her chin "We are going to su-summerice your crimes, okay? and you can uh prove your innocence and if you're not then we beat you up"

You nod, wanting this over with. "Hurry up"

She starts the Storytime "So I Luna Child, wanted to go borrow some coffee from Marisa since mine ran out. So, I went to the Forest to visit her since she lives here"

"Skip to the good part"

Long story cut short: She went to visit Marisa to get some coffee, saw you throw the witch out of her own house and fight some dolls of the puppeteer. Got scared and ran away the moment the house started to have mass explosions.
Went to the Shrine to warn Reimu about it but she didn't believe it. Then she got an interview out of Aya who was visiting the shrine and went back with her to the woods only to find it on fire! Worked together with some other fairies and the help of Aya and forest residents to put the fires out. Then spend the rest of the day amassing a group for back time against the culprit which she believes to be you.

Naturally, you defend your own honour "Did you not notice the fact I was fighting a giant Alice & Wriggle fused atrocity? it's all the fault of Anon! In fact, you should be thanking me" and you go on about your oh so wondrous adventure.

The fairies listen to the story like someone's reading them a storybook, Luna Child stays silent the whole time but speaks once you're done "...So to summarize: A voice told you to go murder some outsiders, so you did. then you robbed Marisa's house and got a talking chainsaw and then you defeated some Fanon Master? that has the abilities of both Alice and Wriggle all on your own? Finally, you now have a chainsaw hand too?"

You point at your swollen arm of a thing "Got the proof too" you're glad that has been concluded.

She scoffs "I don't believe you. if you want to fool fairies then you have to come up with a better scenario" the others nod at her word too.

Your response is a flat "What" in disbelief "But I'm not lying!"

"Suuuure, you know what I think? I think you're either lying or bonkers: there's a bigger chance of that than that you're speaking the truth. There's NO WAY you could win against something like that and besides Alice has a whole bunch of freaky dolls anyway, right? We haven't seen anything like the things you described and tell me who would you believe: One single youkai or every fairy in the forest?"

A fairy tries to say something "Uh actuall-" only to get shushed by the others, speaking of which the whole group of fairies has used the opportunity to surround you.

...You know what? screw them if they don't believe you then that's their problem. "I doubt Wriggle's dead too" and you punch the fairy in the face turning her to dust.

After that things escalated quickly, all the fairies went to the offensive, but before they could shoot you down you were already flying away.

At least for a while everything was fine, you could easily dodge their shots and outpace them as they chased after you.

But their numbers started to get bigger, fairies who saw the fuss wanted to join in on the fun and slowly but surely.

"Catch the villain! don't let her escape!"

You were flying away from a fairy army; the dozens were now hundreds, and the hundreds became legion.

A fairy or ten is no threat at all, a dozen is an annoyance but a hundred....


Now that's an actual threat.

Not because they're strong united. AS IF

"In the name of justice and love and all that is fun!"

But by the time you shoot down five, another ten respawn.

You try to flee deeper in the woods, more fairies join and make you go elsewhere.

"Stop being so fast! we'll catch you eventually!"

You try to go back to Kourindou but then you'd have to face the army.

Why is this day getting worse?

"We don't die! we don't forget! we are your DOOOM!"

Finally, you've set your course straight to the Hakurei Shrine.

Why is that? simple, there's only one person who can take down an army.

It's the demon Miko, Hakurei Reimu. Surely, she'll save you!

You look back for a short second, yup that is indeed a entire landscape filled with bullets. It's so cluttered you can't even see the fairies behind it.

"For our power comes from the friends we made along the way. Together the fairy friends will overcome the darkness!"

It hurts your eyes, so you look back in front and see another dozens of fairies coming your way from the front.

"Don't think you'll get away that easy!" Luna Child respawned and is doing a pincer attack towards you with only a dozen of other fairies.

And all of them activate spell cards, so many balls and lasers of different colours cover your vision.

You can't dodge that, there's no way you could.

So, you don't.

"Nah" you drop your flight to dodge the barrage, roll down the ground and start dashing up the Shrine's stairs like a lunatic!

You hear some exclamations of anger right behind you but don't stop running as balls of energy graze your surroundings.

Whoever made stairs should be pushed down a set of them, there are way too many and you can barely see the top now.

A laser hits you straight in the legs and you fall, only to remember you can fly and you use that last push to JUMP!

With a final struggle you plop face to the ground and made it to the top! you made it to the Hakurei Shrine!

That little rundown building, that cold stone pavement wait you don't have time for descriptions!

You get up and exhale. The fairies are making it to the entrance, but you've got a little bit of time left!

Where do you go?

[ ] The main building of course, she must be in there!
[ ] Hide in the donation box, they'll never find you!
[ ] Stand your ground, are you not Rumia?
[ ] Why is there a hole under the building? dive in!
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[x] The main building of course, she must be in there!
Reimu likes her nonsense as direct as possible, so we'll be just that!
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Oh its you again
Of course! people live inside buildings and buildings live to be lived in!

But why though? Why surround yourself with walls when the world is your oxster?

What are you going to do in such a small place?

Just hang out with your stuff? That’s weird.

Honestly caves work just fine, at least when the wolves aren’t around.

But enough philosophy, you can nurture your rich soul later.

You rush towards the entrance, enter the premise, and sneakily slam the door shut!

Now to hope Fairies can't open doors, or at least not not fairy sized doors.

Is that the right word though? Something that is not is something that is not so something that is not not is the opposite of something right? A double negative makes a positive. Yeah it works.

Anyway, now inside the entrance, you remove your shoes an-hold on a moment...

The floors and walls usually tainted with dust are sparkly clean, the wood and pots left in disarray are neatly stacked in separate corners of the put-down-your-shoes-here-or-I-will-kick-you-out room, an incense reeking of an unknown yet gentle stench emanates throughout the place and a red carpet lies in front of the living room door invitingly.

The shrine is clean!

What's the occasion for? Reimu would never bother with this effort unless there was a reward for it, is she perhaps expecting someone? the thought makes you think for a moment. Should you go in or maybe come back la-

Sounds of flapping wings and speeches about friendship remind you why you're here, they're also knocking at the door and pushing instead of pulling. the fact they can't operate doors right won't stop them from breaking it down eventually.

You head into the room, and hold your nose as the smell becomes stronger

"Hellooooo, anyone there? I've got bad company outside!" you call out to anyone but get no response.

A thick smoke covers the living room, you can barely see through it.

You are about to call out again but are interrupted by a gentle voice "Welcome to the Shrine of Paradise, we awaited you"

Out of nowhere, candles lit and enlighten the path ahead. It leads to a wooden table and next to it lie three obscured figures. One's taller than the others, the one on the right has cat ears poking out and the middle one must be Reimu?

"Uuh, am I interrupting something?" you're not sure what to make out of this, you'd expect Reimu to laze around in a kotatsu and wave you away since she feels so comfy or to shoo you away since she's busy fake cleaning the place.

"Come closer traveller, come sit and we will see what fate has in store for you" again that gentle tone beckons you.

"Are you going to sell my organs?" you don't feel good about this. "Cause if you are then you have to tell me! that's the rules of nature. totally ha..."

"Told you this would freak people out" the Cat eared one says and sighs. "Stuff gives off massive shady vibes"

"Y-yeah, all this smoke is hurting my eyes too" the Tallest one joins in "Can't we open a window?"

The Alpha gives the table a firm knock to shut them up "Stay in character the both of you, we're doing this. I need the money, and this is the best way to get it"

"That harsh tone! it can only be Reimu!" Appeased, you dash over to give her a hi-bite, she loves those!

"No, don't approach me like that" She gets up and prepares to receive your embrace "Last warning, stop"

You don't stop and leap like a panther, aiming for her with a swift pounce "Good morning, Rei--guuah?"

But something hits your head, energy leaves your body and instead you crash into edge of the table and drop. "Owwwww..." you rub the spot in pain and find an ofuda stuck to it. "Reimu whyyyyyy?" you moan in sadness.

"I gave you a warning and you ignored it" Towering over you is the shrine maiden herself, dressed in her usual red clothes clothes with some weird brown cloak around her as well.

She’s got company too, on her left is some orange black Catgirl laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling in boredom.

And to the right is some Blue haired...hobo? pushing open some windows so the smoke can get out.

Neither of them look like they're having fun, but that's not your problem.

"Haa~ here I hoped for an actual customer but here you are" she scratches the back of her head and sits again. Some weird cards are lying on the table and she fiddles with them alongside some ball.

That tired look in her eyes, that stiff tone her voice lets out. You know what it means.

She's happy to see you! "Happy to see me too~" and you are happy again. “How are you doing?”

"So, what do you want?" She brushes off the attempt to make small talk "I'm busy so unless you're a customer, be quick about it"

She's right, let's get straight to the point.

[ ] Reimu, I need you! Lend me your body!
[ ] The fairies are attacking! they've united!
[ ] Fortune telling? sounds fun! consider me costumer
[ ] Sorry, I''ll leave you and your concubines be.
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[x] Quickly, Reimu! The fairies are unionizing and the foreign anon agents are coming to shut all operations down!
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What do you mean by that
“Quickly Reimu!” you slam the table with your fist and look at her with the most SEROUIS look you can give “The fairies are unionizing and the foreign anon agents are coming to shut all operations down!”

Her eyes stare back into yours unflinchingly, uncaring but one eyebrow does raise. And?

“They’ve united under one banner, that of friendship and love as they fight for one cause: to avenge the fallen Marisa who isn’t fallen at all and their burned down homes which isn’t my fault either”

“So how is that something I should be concerned with?” She asks with no fear whatsoever, she IS the hakurei after all.

“They’re right outside! The fairies I mean, they’re going to break into the shrine any minute now” you continue when you see she doesn’t understand the threat “Hundreds of fairies by the way, are you a bad enough girl to defeat them all?”

“Hmm” Reimu rubs her chin and looks at the ceiling “Why?” then tilts her head at you.

“Why what?” you ask to her asking.

“Why are they here then? This isn’t the forest” ands looks at the other two with doubt, they nod back. “This is the Hakurei Shrine, unless it somehow warped there they shouldn’t be here”

“Because they chased after me!” you tell her the truth “Please help me!” you are certain she will.

“No” she replies faster than lightning. “Leave and take them with you”

Then she kicks you out and the fairies kick you too but in a different way.

Bad end, go back x choices.

NOT! This battle of hearts has just begun! ( https://youtu.be/Dplt-8IydbQ )

You expected her to deny your request, girls like her are tough nut to crack after all!

You focus and remember your Rumia training: To the days you were younger and also Rumia.

You are trained in the art of tomfoolery. While others build houses you were being MOE~

When humans invented guns, you mastered the art of the PUPPER EYES

While maidens and witches waste away their days in drinking you cultivated INNER PEACE.

And now that the world is invaded by anon and fairies are at the gates, she has the audacity to refuse coming to your AID? PFAH!

As if you’d let that happen, foolish shrine maiden you have yet to witness TRUE POWER!

Money is worthless.
Bonds are temporary.
Morals are a joke.

All humans are pawns that deny their own true nature, from their darkness you were born and with said darkness you will manipulate her heart.

Prepare yourself Hakurei Maiden for my final move.

For there is no entity that can beat this move! From heavens to hell! From the most secret chambers to the most well-known plaza! From God to man and anything in between! ALL HAVE FALLEN TO IT!

“What if I say pretty, please?” POLITENESS OVERCOME!! Your Japanese ancestry will be your doom!

“No” The walls around her heart are impenetrable!

You recoil in shock, an intense pain stabs into your chest, such a frightening counterattack. She did not even flinch! “I-impossible, but how?” you cannot hide the surprise on your face. “Why do you throw me to the sharks?!”

The maiden shrugs with her shoulders “Less effort to give them what they want no?”

"Ughoo!" another dagger is added to your heart, you drop to one knee and breathe frantically.

The endeavour was futile all along, the girl has her own interest in mind first. Such a pure heart cannot be stopped, the light shines too brightly within her.

But the stronger the light, the larger the darkness! You can't give up! You WON'T give up!

You push aside the stuff from the table, walk on top of it and stare into her soul “Hakurei Maiden!”

“Get off my table” She takes out the rod “Tch, you've knocked away the cards”

You remove yourself from the table and give a small apology “Hakurei Maiden!”

“What?” and she sighs, annoyance facing root again “This has already been settled, shoo-shoo”

Settled? This was never settled! As long as you breathe failure will never be a part of you!

Will you accept this cruel reality? The bad end where you die by fairy mob?

NEVER! “Behold, the true power of the Abyss, the darkness through which no light shall shine!”

[ ] PUPPY EYES, the PERFECT move of cutesiness.
[ ] GENUFLECT, the ULTIMATE sign of submission.
[ ] FLASHBACK, stall for time by recounting the past.
[ ] Calm down and do something else.
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[x] GENUFLECT, the ULTIMATE sign of submission.
We shall use our own submission to force the Hakurei into submission! Nothing can go wrong with this!
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Why are you genuflecting
[x] GENUFLECT, the ULTIMATE sign of submission.
We shall use our own submission to force the Hakurei into submission! Nothing can go wrong with this!

To genuflect is to admit inferiority to someone else, to genuflect is to say that person is God, and you are the worm. It is shameful to do and is a gesture that evokes desperation by humankind. Pathetic.

But you are not human, and even if that still applies then so be it!

IF you must lick her shoes then so be it! Does she want a back rub? You’ll become a professional masseuse just for the occasion!


You will use GOD to defeat ANON! For you are RUMIA! The magical cannibal girl that will revive her friend and get her happy ending!

You get on your knees, lower your head, and GENUFLECT before the Hakurei Maiden with ULTIMATE SUBMISSION! “Hakurei Maiden! Do not abandon me I beg you! Your AID! your POWER! I NEED it!”

“W-What?” The shield cracks as her eyes widen and her mouth opens like a raindrop, she’s confused by the social manoeuvre!

You don’t give her the time to recover “My omnipotent maiden have mercy! The anons! The fairies! They are too powerful for me to handle! I need someone who’s strong and someone’s who’s fast and that person can only be you! Without you this world shall PERISH!” and make your head hit the floor three more times with religious ZEAL.

“Huh, another crazy one visits the shrine today” The catgirl gets up and starts eating a rice ball. “This ought to be fun to hear but what’s an anon?” and munches on it cause that’s how you consume food.

“….” The not a catgirl nor Reimu girl looks at you in silence, her gaze on your back feels like it’s trying to dig into your very soul.

At least you think they do, since your head is on the ground.

Regardless they are all impressed by your amazing willpower, a person who’s willing to stoop to the lowest level to accomplish their goal is something to be feared and respected! You are the mighty worm!

The Shrine Maiden stands up and approaches you “Get up” her voice once calm and uncaring now hot and embarrassed “You’re just being noisy. Fairies and A-whatever’s aren’t my- “Her guard is still on!

My, she has one powerful mental guard. The maiden must be used to the ways of many shapeshifters and masters of deceit, one cannot lie or bluff against her without her famous intuition ringing.

Which is why you have no choice but to use the FINAL technique you have: APPEAL TO MORALITY!
“I'm pleading with you! I'm begging with you to do the right thing. And do it not for the sake of how it will impact your own lives, but only for the sake of doing the right thing. IF you don’t act while the honey pot is moist and warm then the bees will come and sting us all!”

The Maiden hums in thought as she pokes your head “Even if you say that, preventing incidents isn’t my job. It’s stopping them, besides it’s a Sunday and that’s a rest day so sitting back and relaxing is the right thing to do this right day” She counters you with hard facts and logic “So it can’t be helped~ now get out and go enjoy your youth too!” She ends it with an encouraging shout, but the feeling isn’t behind it.

Wait that’s it! Your words lack feeling! You need to use the emotions sealed deep inside your heart if you wish to move hers!

You focus what has happened before, the face of your hated foe, the memory of its sadistic voice, the pain and sensation of loss it has inflicted on you. All the memories are giving you heartburn!

What if you had lost to it? Would your adventure have ended right then and there? what if you hadn’t gone to Marisa’s house? Would Wriggle still be-Ah yes, that’s the right sensation! That’s Despair!

Now focus on it! Think of all the things you’ll never get to do with her again! Think of a possible future in which other anons take your other friends! Think of an ending in which you lose to anon!

This FEELING! this PAIN! this DETERMINATION to never lose again! it fills your DARK SOUL with LIGHT!

You smash the floor with your head repeatedly and shout out the most pathetic words you can think off like Curtain Fire, take this Maiden!

“I'm praying to you! I can’t lose! I can’t lose... against the forces of anon, or I’ll never see my friends again! Will not give up, OR I’LL NEVER SEE MY FRIENDS AGAIN! Or I’ll never see my friends again! I can't... I can't... I CAN’T LOSE AGAINST THE FORCES OF ANON!... or I’ll never see my friends again. I can't... lose! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! Join my party! Look in your heart! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! Join my party! I'm praying to you! Look in your heart... I'm praying to you! Look in your heart! Join my party! I'm praying to you... look in your heart... look in your heart! You can't kill me... look in your heart…” oddly enough you feel more and more exhausted with each word, which is the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve.

The Hakurei is deadly quiet, not a peep can be heard from her.

But even so you co-you feel hands on your shoulders forcing you to stop!


You move your head up to look at Reimu without coming off as smug.

A pretty face with long unkempt blue hair is what you see instead “Your misfortune is genuine” the voice is friendly but has an edge around it “I don’t want to get involved, this should be someone else’s problem is what you’re thinking right? You really are a selfish person…”
You’re not sure if she’s mocking you or not.

“Eeeeh? that sounds like a real bad deal to me! So, an army is coming?” on the other hand the catgirl is overwhelmed with curiosity “Tell us more!” and seems stuck between feeling excited or spooked. Nah it's morbid curiosity, the same reason why people tell scary stories and stuff or ugh you're no mental speaker.

“Even so, I can’t help but admire your feelings” the pale girl continues as she ruffles your hair “True poverty comes from losing something that’s truly dear to you, and having experienced it yourself only motivates you to make sure it won’t happen again, doesn’t it?” You don’t like her eerie smile
“Aaah~ it reminds me of my past self. How brave and naïve I was to hope things could get better, how no matter what hit me I just kept going on stubbornly refusing to give up until eventually I lost too much and became unable to care at all” You don’t like her pale white arms either.
“Except I got better, after my encounter with Reimu my motivation came back and after meeting Tenshi I finally got a friend again”

“W-what are you on about?” She’s acting overly nostalgic and weird in your pure and honest opinion “Why are you saying all that?”

“I’m saying that I want to see that moment again, that point in life where hope turns to despair only for it to become hope once again. I want to see your struggles; your torment and the moment you snap alongside the moment you stand up again. That one special moment!” Her face is beaming with passion, it’s almost like she’s on fire.

“Y-you’re freaking me out...” which shouldn’t be possible
You’re starting to think you shouldn’t get involved with her.
“You’re REALLY freaking me out...” you repeat just for emphasis.

“Oh?” She tilts her head in confusion “Oh!” and let’s go of you immediately with an awkward grin “Sorry, that’s my bad. What I’m trying to say is that you’ve gained my interest and that I want to join your adventure against these forces you’re talking about” then she pauses for a second and does a posture.

Poverty God Shion Yorigami joins the party! Dun dun doo doo dun dee dun? Was that the sound?” she added some sound effects for some reason.

You look blankly at her again “What?” it’s like your brain decided to go on break just this instant, did you run out of fun juice?

She gets the fact that you don’t get her “But that was a reference to dragon quest, it’s famous everywhere” and she waits for you.

“There’s no such thing? Don’t lie to me, dragons aren’t real” you feel patronized “Not today” and finally get up. Out of your element.

A silence fills the roo- “Nice chat you both had, but Reimu just left the room” The cat butts in with a wave “Just so you know~” and walks towards a window, then looks back at you two “ so uh let's bail gals”.

Now you look at her blankly “What?”

The Cat looks at you as if it couldn’t be any more obvious what she is planning to do “The cat is off the table, so the mice’s get out?”

You still don’t get it.

“I’m saying we bail while she’s distracted, it’s now or never!” Oh, so she really doesn’t want to be here. She’s already going through it.

Shion or what was her name is just standing there doing all fascinated by her own nails. You guess it’s cause of the talk earlier?

How are dragons even related to nails? Do they wax on or off?

You feel like you’re confused, or maybe that was part of the ruse all along? You’re so skilled you managed to bamboozle yourself too!

Pat on your back done, it’s time for another decision.

[x] You’re staying in this room; it’d be rude to just leave.
[x] Out the window and into uuuh back to the forest?
[x] To the entrance! Fairies await and you have a g-wait

Are you going to let her tag along?
[x] …Sure, she seems nice enough?
[x] Sorry but no, she makes you uncomfortable.
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[x] Out the window and into uuuh back to the forest?
[x] …Sure, she seems nice enough?
Very nice indeed.
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[x] Out the window and into uuuh back to the forest?
[x] …Sure, she seems nice enough.
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Companion get and bad luck increased
You look at the window.

The one the cat went through.

And who’s run off without waiting for you.

Why is she running away anyway? Did she get recruited against her will or something? If so then running is useless for the red white will just find you again, she does not track, she does not chase.

She simply appears at the best location, at the best time to give you a bad time.
Not only that but she’s the most powerful person in the land, so no friend or family can protect you against her. There is no shame in admitting that she’s the top dog.
But you don’t have shame anyway, at least not after that whole genuflecting. Truly the primal powers stirring within you are pleased! Fear the one who knows when to bow!

Wait, you were trying to sound cool. Damnation the moment has kerfuffled!
Flexing your own vocabulary aside, you’ve still got a creep to deal with. The Pale One.

“Is there something on my face?” the eponymous person says noticing your stare. Her hands go to remove some dust from her hair and her clothes “There, that should do it”.

She literally said she wanted to you see suffer, which is very off-putting and rude. Not to forget that she looks like she belongs in that story with the girl and the matches. The Pale One is officially creepy.

That’s a nice title though: The Pale One.

Makes you think of a monster.

The Pale One has the appearance of a beautiful young girl, those who are charmed by it follow it into the mist and are never seen again by their relatives. Their final fate completely unknown wooooo~

You wave your arms around in demonstration, woo you're walking into the mist of death~

Turn again!
And a final Woo~ to end it all!

Then you land on your back as the world keeps turning. "I am dead!" That was fun!

The Pale one doesn’t clap or boo at you but doesn’t seem sure what to say and ignores it.

“Are we waiting for Reimu? Her money plan isn’t going to work without Mike anyway so we might as well just go before she gets mad” she seems to be getting impatient “I want to see an anon!” or excited for adventure.

That’s a good suggestion, sadly it didn’t come from your own mind, so you ignore it. “Is that so?”

The Pa-wait she has an name doesn't she? you're just being rude now! you are a bad girl!

Besides you know what? isn’t creepy a good thing? With her company you will shine in a brighter light in comparison, and she could have powers that might be very useful to you...wait that's rude too!

You need to work on your manners young lady.

You grab her hand and shake it with a smile “Welcome to the party! Should have said that earlier but I forgot hee-hee~ don’t smite me pretty please”

She gives a that eerie smile back “Thanks! I’ve only fought a few times but when it comes to travel no god has walked through trash more than me!” pause “Wait, I meant no god has…I’m good at surviving the worst conditions so don’t go easy on me!” She declares boldly.

Not sure what that means “But I like taking it easy? I don’t know…going above easy sounds like a pain…”

“No, I meant that as “Don’t let me slow you down”. To show my resolve and all” She explains.

You cock your head “But if you’re slow then we can just walk, why the sudden haste?” and rub your chin in thought, you're not going to dump someone cause they walk faster than you walk yet slower than you run. "It’s not like there’s a time limit" You are merciful.

“No, no that was a way of speaking. I didn’t mean it literally” Ah, that's embarrassing.

“Oh Okay…Whoopsie!” You save the situation!

“Whoopsie?” Never mind, it backfired.

“It’s something you say to avoid awkward silence. It’s my secret technique so don’t tell anyone about it okieday?” You try to turn into a moment to deepen one's bond instead. secrets shared are friends made.

“But if you say it then people will have heard you, and then it’s no longer secret” Stop ruining this.

“That’s the secret! you’ll never know what’s secret behind it, and it’ll stay in your head FOREVER” You fire back.

“And now it’s no longer secret, because you told me the secret” Oh come oooon.

“No, I-I…. I don’t like these mind games you’re playing on me…” you rub your head “So from now on, thinking is banned in this group!” and declare your new party rule. That should prevent future cases. Nipped in the bud!

“I object to that; people think all the time. You can’t not think” Why is she still talking?

“Then think with moderation, I don’t want junkies in my party” You have standards.

“But people think ALL the time, even you’re thinking right now” Stop outsmarting me.

“Fine but stop doing that pointing thing out thing. It makes me look stupid and I am SMART” You command.

“I object to that too, I’m not a yes woman” her enthusiasm lowers a bit, you’re not sure why.

Great, that's another companion who refuses to obey your every command.

Do you lack charisma or something? or do you need to earn their respect first? Such a pain!

“Nnnn! Just drop the subject already” You walk to the window like a mature person, not pouting.

If this becomes a trend then you might end up losing your boss status, a coup d'état and bam you're the beta now.

That'd be terrible, they'd all head pat you and reduce you to the cute sidekick role. That must not happen!

Okay, the girl’s got an attitude. But she seems sharp and willing to help. As in she’s not doing it to mock you with her superior intellect because she can count above 100 and divide by pies hur hur.

So, you’ll take what you can get, the more pals the better after all. Isn’t there a saying for that?

Yes! It’s just like they say: Do not look like the gift horse in the mouth.

Because that is not a horse. Look at the twin drill on its head and it’s odd, coloured fur.
That is a black and white twin horned murder pony.

Those will bite of all your fingers like they’re wet spaghetti noodles for no reason other than the fact that they can do so.

Years of being hunted has put the gene of extreme pre-emptive violence in their blood.

It's a very effective strategy too since no one messes with them now.

Because no one messes with crazy, have you ever fought a man wielding a lance? Okay but have you ever fought a screaming half naked man wielding a lance with dog dodoo at the end of it?

The latter has far higher survival odds in the wilds, nature is funky like that.

Oh, but the horse isn’t satisfied with just maiming you, it is out for blood.

Because while you scream it will pin you down, approach your juicy bottom and do to you the very same thing that’s making the family dog cry itself to sleep at night ever since your 700-year-old kappa cousin visited.

That metaphor went nowhere actually, you don’t have cousins and you made that up. But if you were to spread the idea of the murder pony to enough people then eventually it would start to exist. cause that's how youkais are born right? You're not sure.

Though you’d have to add some rules and variations to make it seem realish right? Like uuh:
If it has no horns, then it can be tamed.
If it has one horn, run, or be impaled.
If it has two horns then take out your weapon, aim steady and slice off your own neck before the demon horse closes the distance, grapples you with it's muscular arms and leads you to water so it can reverse baptize you.

It smiled at you when the Hakurei blew its brain away…Based on a true story for extra sympathy and publicity.

The title: Horses and their Horrendous Horrors
Subtitle: Not Horsing around anymore.

Man, you should really write a book. It’d be the best book, and everyone would read it!

But you won’t do it, it takes too much time and effort. You’d rather laze around.

Perhaps in another world, people get to enjoy it. And that's all that matters.

Enough charity, it is time for adventure! You rush at the window and leap!

You go through it perfectly and end it with a roll so you can stand up.

The crowd claps and your shades shine against the sun with a cool shine as a guitar plays in the background OOOH YEAAAH!

That’d be nice, but instead your knees hit part of the wall, your body flips around, and you end up on the other side flat on your back. “Owww” it doesn’t hurt at all. You’re not WEAK.

“Hey, are you doing, okay?” Pale Girl climbs through it with no effort, and then walks straight into a puddle giving her shoes that unpleasant feeling of disgust. “Ugh. Here we go again” wait she doesn’t have any! The shoes you mean. “Can you not get up?” she pokes your rib, and you squirm. Knowing that you’re alive she lets out a sigh and helps you get up. Quite nice of her. “Let’s go then, where do we go anyway?”

You think about your next destination while looking do-OH HOLD ON A MOMENT!

You see your feet, they’ve got feet thumbs. But where are the shoes on them?!

Did someone take them while you were talking? That makes no sense, you’re certain you’d feel it if someone did that! Such a technique, such grace…this must be the work of a master thief!

And you know only one professional thief in this whole land!

That witch stole your shoes! She knew your style was the better one and got jealous! It’s the only explanation! You must get them back!

You add said resolution to the pile of stuff you must do inside your brain safe.

Off course you'll do them all! Maybe, if you feel like it. Probably two at the minimum.

“Let’s go comrades! Adventure awaits!” It is time to go go go!

"Go, team something~" Oh you've only got one right now. "I still don't know your name"

"Rumia, Youkai of Dusk. But you can call me Boss, Senpai or even Bigger Boss"

"I'm never saying that, that sounds too embarrassing"

"What's your name anyway?"

"Shion Yorigami, I've said it before though. Did you forget?"


"That hurts my feelings"

"I apologize"

"Then I forgive you"

"Cool, now let's a go go go!"

You are on some Veranda of the Hakurei Shrine, the window behind you leads back inside and if you go to the left then you can go to the Entrance. To the right lie the famous cherry trees of the Shrine and in front of you lies a small cliff side followed by a sea of green grass and trees heading out to the great majestic wild.

So where shall you go?

[] You can hear some battle noises and danmaku coming from the Entrance, why is that?

[] Enough exploring! Anon awaits and you must find them. To the Forest again!
- [] But first a pitch stop at Kourindou, both of you need SHOES.
- [] To the house of the Dollmaker!
- [] Real youkai wander around the forest without a care in the world.
[ ] Hold on, where did the kitty cat go? Does it really matter?

[] Follow a professional writing career.
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Time to throw the funny rock

Rolling 1d5 => 5
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The odds of that, fine I'll write it.

Give me 40 mins or so.
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Thats a good idea
Hold on a moment.

Why bother going through all this anyway?

There’s no point in doing this, cause if it was the maiden would already be solving it right?

Everyone is good at doing something right?

And she and the witch are the BEST at solving things like these.

So why not let the pros handle this and just relax?

Yeah, you’re just a nobody. Someone who happened to be at the wrong moment at the wrong time maybe. There’s really no reason to do this so let’s lay back and enjoy the rest of your life peacefully.

OR maybe actually write a book for realsies. You've got time to waste.

But what would it be about?

You think about a few concepts but get nothing.

Hmmm, “Hey Shion, what would make a good story?” you ask your companion.

“Where did that come from?” your companion replies as she kicks a rock in boredom.

“Just answer”

“Hmm, why not write about the anons?”

“Better than nothing I guess” you shrug, that doesn’t have the spark in it “Still thanks” you try to be nice.

"You're welcome"

How do other people write down stories anyway? Do they pick up a paper and pen and just write whatever until the words start making sense? The art of writing might not be little girl friendly…

As if you’d think that! Of course, everyone will think your book is the best!

And by everyone you mean EVERYONE, every person in Gensokyo will know about you and the an-

…. Wait

That’s it! That’s the way to victory!

If you write a story about the anon then everyone will know about them!

And when you know something you can not get hurt by it!

If someone knows drinking hot sauce is bad for the health then no one will drink it!

So if everyone knows anons are bad people then they’’ll all be kicked out forever!

You’d have saved the world with minimal effort!
The anons defeated by the pen and your genius flee and never return!
And you enjoy the massive afterparty!

That's right, all ends well that should be well.

Now let's do it!

You'll defeat anon with the power of writing!

“Sometimes, my genius scares me” you look at the horizon, the day has yet begun so if the newspaper was right then there can’t be that many. “But now I know what I must do Shion” A cool breeze passes through making your imaginary scarf float awesomely. “I shall write…for everlasting peace!” and you fly off with deadly and unwholesome resolve!

“What do-you know what? I’m just not going to question it” Shion scratches the back of her head and flies after you “Should be fun to watch even if she's…” then she speaks up “Where are we going?”

What isn’t it obvious!? There’s only one person worthy of writing your book for you.

Since as the sovereign of shadows you don’t have the time to write your chronicles yourself.

Also, it sounds like hard work, and very boring to do.
So, you’ll let someone else do it.

Of course, it must be someone of immense talent and experience in the field.

You can’t let some nobody write a book about you after all, which is why you’ve decided on…

[] That Hieda girl wrote mean things about you, with this book she can redeem herself.
[] The Tengu Crow is the one with the most info, she’ll spread your word faster than the wind.
[] The nun at that temple made you write stuff down a thousand times once, it’s her turn now.
[] This idea is dumb, let’s go do something else or go somewhere else.
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[x] This idea is dumb, let's go do something else or go somewhere else
[x] Visit team 9

Get more allies for physical combat, anons can't be defeated with pen and papers (probably)
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[x] This idea is dumb, let's go do something else or go somewhere else
[x] Visit team 9

That was a funny dice roll, gotta admit. We are really just far more chaotic a character than any anon could be, at this point.

Also, fingers crossed nothing happened to poor Dai.
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Choose your fighter
Just a second!

You stop yourself immediately and concentrate on the bubbles that is the amazing idea soup that is the pot in your head in which uh you’ve gotten a better idea!

A writing career is like a big thing to suddenly get into and may take more than a day too.

You’d definitely be able to make a masterpiece in just a day. Because the content of the book would be straight to the point! No metaphors or any deeper meaning or biggy words.

Anons are bad, you see one then kick it.

The end.

That’s the book written, and the world is saved!

Alas…Okay you know what? Let’s be honest: It sounds like too much effort.

You’d probably need to convince/force the person to write your book, then get like a way to sell the books too and finally make people read them, and that doesn’t sound like a fun time.

And you like fun! You like fun stuff a lot! You want to go play with the others or do something else!

Like throwing snowballs! except that one time where Cirno somehow got a cold. You’re not sure how that happened, and it hurts your brain just thinking about it.

Playing prank on humans is fun too, they’re so uptight and easy to scare.
Especially their children, they cry so easily~

They don’t like it when you throw snowballs at them for some reason.

But if they don’t want to be hit by one then they should just learn how to DODGE!
Hehe he, dance your snot nosed brats! DANCE!!

But the bastards got smart and equipped themselves with umbrellas and other tools like light thingies. so that no longer works against them and that ruins all the fun behind it.

Bunch of cheaters took a shortcut and learned nothing in the end. Your diligent effort was wasted.

Not to forget what Miss Forehead did to you…those were the worst weeks of your life. (Though today may be a fair contender)

Since then, you’ve kept these self-rules in mind: Do not mess with children of any kind, if you see any outside the village then just bring them back there and pray the Forehead demon won’t come for you. Even though bullying them was funny as hell…some things are not worth the risk.

And technically, the a thousand-year-old wench of a Hieda counts as one too.

A shame, but in that case it’s time for Plan B: Gather the party!

Introducing the members of team 9:

Rumia, the lord of darkness! With her powers she ca-wait that’s you.

Also, you already know what the others can do, why are you introducing them?

Let’s pretend that didn’t happen.

And so it did not.

What were we talking about? it feels like something happened but it didn't so you only have a vague sense of deja vu about it for the sake of symbolism. #You are so deep.

Anyway, everything is more fun with friends and when team 9 works together, nothing can stop us!

Except the Breast Goddess, Forehead Monster, Sunflower Lady, Hakurei Maiden, Lase-that's a lot of people...

It’s time to go find them!

Like right now!

Where are they though? Cause you can’t find someone if you don’t kno-WAIT, you remember!

Dai is like infiltrating some house? But that doesn’t make much sense though. You can’t infiltrate a house, that’s something you enter and not some secret group you can spy on.

Unless they are? Guess that would explain why there are so many with the same look…on the same street…perfectly placed the same distance from each other.
Oh my god, how did you notice the patterns, the clues, the trails. It’s all so obvious!
Someone is making the houses!

And that means she’s in danger! You must save her from the Brotherhood of Silence!

Or maybe she’s doing just fine, which is unacceptable as well. You’d feel immensely cheated if your friends had an adventure without you so surely, she feels the same way?

As for the others…uuuh one second.

Wriggle is well not alive at the moment, but you shouldn’t hold that against her. Since you’ll bring her back somehow eventually, probably, maybe.

Even so that’s no reason to not help out, surely her ghost or whatever can spare some time since what else is it going to do? Haunt people? Chill in Limbo? Yeah, she needs to pull her weight in this adventure! So, it’s time to go to that Garden Place! Have a chat with the manager of the dead!

Next person, that’s hmm Cirno and Mystia!

Mysti’s got like a whole big schedule these days, sell stuff at some stand. Do concert stuff with some dog-eared bitch (That’s the female version of dog right?), spend money on stuff and rinse and repeat

So she could be anywhere, and that’s unhelpful. It’ll be a pain to find her but there’s like only three places she can be at then. On another note, she really should spend more time with you, so this adventure will be the prime opportunity for that!

Finally, the strongest for last Cirno!

No idea where she is, something shrines and witches. Do you know any of those?

Huh, that wasn’t so hard to think about after all. So, let’s start the…you don’t have a name for this.

Let’s start the Gather Team 9 quest so you can help them beat Anon quest or something!

Also find your shoes, you can’t walk all day barefooted, right? It’d be annoying.

So much stuff to do yet so little ability to do them all at the same time…

It’s times like these that make you regret not being God. Not like that can be helped for now.

But really, let’s get a move on. Where do you go?

[] Daiyousei: Midboss Management Misadventure! (The Red Mansion Place)
[] Wriggle: Hello? I’d like to get a Bug back or…Be bugged back? (Spooky Garden Place For Spooky People)
[] Mystia: You've run out of puns but let's try another anyway: Bird Brain Something? (Choose one: Forest with the Bun Buns in it or That Temple For Imaginary Fiends )
[] Cirno: Freezing in Doubt? Where in the world is the Strongest? (Who do you think knows where she is? and or where do you think she is?)

[ ] This plan is stupid, let's go do something else.
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[x] Daiyousei: Midboss Management Misadventure!

Commence operation 9! Stage 1: Captain (hopefully can throw that) boomerang
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[x] Wriggle: Hello? I’d like to get a Bug back or…Be bugged back? (Spooky Garden Place For Spooky People)
Been a while since there's been any Wriggle. If this ties, feel free to go with the nameless fairy.
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[x] Cirno: Freezing in Doubt? Where in the world is the Strongest?
[x] Either Misty lake or Moriya shrine

She might be the only person who fit the requirement (Or lack of) amount of braincells to join us on this
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You are correct

So you deduce that Cirno is either at the Misty Lake or Moriya Shrine?

Your answer is



Cirno is located at one of those two locations!

You've gained a new monologue: If Worm < Bird and Bird < Rumia and Rumia < Witches and Maidens then what is < those?

If you (or anyone else) can answer that, then her location shall be revealed to you.
You can be even right for the wrong reasons so use your inner 9 logic.

That said I won't update today due to having to host a party. (So it'll come this Sunday)

It's fall vacation! or something, but if I update anyway today then consider me stooped up.

This totally doesn't break my update every day chain so far shush.

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So you've all got an extra day to figure that out.

If not, then I'll just take the majority vote (Which at the moment would be for the Daiyousei)

Enjoy your weekend.
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[X] Cirno: Freezing in Doubt? Where in the world is the Strongest? (Who do you think knows where she is? and or where do you think she is?)

A cold hearted detective ready to ice any criminal scum making this dark city darker...
Also Cirno is there.
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>>31523 Here

Switching to Cirno vote. Obviously the gods are above the maidens, so we go to the shrine! You can't fool me, we would go to the lake if you had << because nature is far beyond everything else!
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IS that so

So you deduce that Cirno is at the Moriya Shrine?

Because Gods are above Maidens?

Is that really the case?

You are


Correct! You've found out her location!

Update coming in just a moment
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Feeling hardboiled today
Time: ?? ; Date: 07/07/2017
Previous Location: Hakurei Shrine ; Current Location: Forest of Magic. ; Destination: Moriya Shrine
Target: Cirno, the fairy of Ice.


The forest’s embrace is met once again, and like usual it was unchanging.

The colours of a vibrant green, the aroma of wildflowers in the air.
The gentle shine of the sun basking the sea of trees was good at its job: Hiding the invaders in its shadows.

This Peridot has been infected, by a disease most rare and foul.

Only you are the cure.

Where they came from is unknown, and why they are is a mystery. All you knew is that they are strong and vicious, unique yet legion.

The living mystery is dubbed Anon by the voices in your head.

Whether those voices were trustworthy was another mystery, one of many you had to solve if you wanted peace back in your life. Peace that was previously taken for granted…you know better now.

But first you had to leave the country, leave the country fast. Wait no you meant forest.
You’ve been involved with an Anon encounter that went bad. Very bad even.

There was only one chance, and you blew it. The Bug had been stamped harder than an egg that fell of a plate and hit the stone lifeless wooden floor of the Trashman’s kitchen. Then came the fire.

People don’t like fires in their neighbourhood, whether it was on purpose or not doesn’t change the details a tiniest bit. And you’ve got arson written all over your face. Even the fairies know it.

And when a fairy knows something, you don’t want them to know: Oh, that’s bad news.

In a minute their friends will know, in ten they’d have made a game out of it. In an hour the words are spread and after 2 more everyone and their mother will believe it and once that’s happens…

Let’s just say some people will be eager for Danmaku and some might even forget to use it.

Put two and two together and the four-sided die of trouble is clearly yours to roll.

Before that can happen, before the sand runs out. You have to find a certain someone: The Blue Warrior.

If anyone knew how to pack a punch with a smile on her face, it’d be that Dame. She’s got the guts and will to scale a mountain and defy the gods. That kind of power must be on your side.

So, we’ll be going to You- “kai Mountain” Shion floats next to you with an eyebrow raised and mild concern on her face “You’ve been mumbling an awful lot, and the way your face is all scrunched up like a stepped-on paper bag is telling me even the unsaid~” then she pokes your nose “All okay in there? Surely, you’re not going to give up here and now? Keep fighting for!…everlasting peace?”

These encouragements feel like a bucket of water thrown into the sea, futile as [insert hardboiled metaphor].

You nod yes, “At the top lies the domain of the gods, there I shall put my shadowy feet upon” A cigarro is lifted from your pocket and you put it in your mouth “Of course were I to desire it, then I could bask the entire mountain in a starless void but I shan’t.” And a shot of danmaku lights it.

A sweet unholy aroma enters your mouth and throat, that of sweet melting chocolate.

Chocolate for Hardboiled Men that is, a dark smoke leaves your mouth as you exhale in satisfaction.

It tastes so good, even the inner dark lord of you melts from it.

Sadly, you’re not hardboiled enough to have an addiction for it, even though coffee and chocolate are the only sociable acceptable ones. You’re not much a fun of sweet or bitter. What a picky tongue.

The so-called goddess of lack of services that are supposed to be surprisingly economical puts a hand on her chin as she continues flying backwards while facing you. “Hmm, so you mean Heaven?”

You nod no and continue the pace. “No, I meant the Moriya Shrine. The one with like the twin gods? The Scheming Snake and Secretive Sfrog Shrine of Secrets, you know the one.”

Shion shrugs in the way people say darn, I hoped the answer was yes “Shame, could have had my friend play along with this. She’d LOVE using her sword as a tool of justice. Long time too since either of us got to be good guys too…wait Anon is evil right?” You were right on the sigh, like the detective you are.

You pause and give her the most hardboiled look a hardboiled egg like you can scramble.
“My name is Detective Rumia, and I was sleeping a happy carefree sleep before it all happened. The kind you only have after a time spent with dear friends and loved games. Every day was the same fun day in my life you see. I’d get up, float like the wind wherever my fancy takes me and maybe meet a gal or two. In that moonlight knowing that I have no grander obligations other than fetching a good snack or two was like wandering around my own slice of heaven…but then the devil ringed. Of course, it was the devil, it had the sensual voice of a woman” the goddess attempts to speak but you continue “Told me she had some special birthday cake for me, a cake made of people she’d rather not let live. I was only too happy to get my slices, after all who says no to a free meal or two? If anything, it’s a waste not to eat. There was no poison in it, but I was ensnared regardless” you look down to the ground and see a few animals roaming around in the woods below. No one else is listening so you continue, you tell her the tale of the mistake you made “This place, The Forest of Magic, is a place of forgetfulness. Every day or so, a life is taken and every day thereafter the life lost is forgotten. If you don’t have the power to defend yourself then surely whoever won is in the right? If anything, you’ve committed the crime of bleeding on their favourite shirt for all anyone cares. The strong thrive and the weak are trampled as an everyday occasion: That’s the wildlife, sounds cruel, doesn’t it? But youkai are cruel creatures, they make do with their wishes and go on with life. If they are smart enough to figure out how to operate merchandise and read or count, they can have something of a career in civilization if they want. People can survive without knowing what did or didn't happen in the past. And each day they try their hardest to do just that, live in the present and enjoy life. The only people who regret the loss of these memories are those with a human heart or those who lost someone special…Wriggle is not someone I intend to just forget. And the person who took her from me is not someone I intend to forgive either. To me Anon is evil”.

Your companion looks downwards, empathy in their eyes and shame in their voice “I’m sorry, I knew something like that motivated you, but I got a bit curious since you’re acting so...odd” then she hurriedly continues “By the way! There’s like a Ropeway that leads straight to the shrine itself recently, we could just take a ride in there instead of flying the whole way if you want”

You hum in thoughtfulness, brooding hardboiled thoughtfulness. “Isn’t that slower?”

Shion gives a thumbs up, with both hands. Is that a double thumb ups? “It’s a lot safer too! it’s been made just so people can visit the shrine without trespassing any tengu territory or something. So, no one is going to get in our way if we do that. The sight could be nice too and-Oh hey looks who’s there!” Shion immediately points downwards.

You look down, and shrug. It’s just some trees and a metallic tower, oh wait a sec.

Surrounded by shrubberies at the bases and vines around it’s consorts lies a pillar of iron, no that’s incorrect it’s a bunch of iron pillars stacked against each other in such a way that it resembles a tower. At the top lies some more iron and aside from its circular plate thingies? You don’t know what it is, but the ribbons around it and the scent of fairy dust indicate that it’s a fairy shrine.

At this point you’d be bailing out of it but there’s more: it’s got an odd sensation to it, blink and you’ll miss it, and you can feel a sort of presence in it, or at least Shion says so.

Closer inspection would be needed but you won’t. It’s way too risky.

Why you ask?

Because there’s a certain magician down below as well, you’re not sure WHAT she’s doing but she seems to be investigating the premises.

You don’t think she’d be happy to see you since you did bail on her

And told Rin-chan to go die, and kind of blew up her house and yeah that's all.

Still not the best impression you can give someone, even if you're in the right.

So, let’s bai-a pigeon hits you smack in the face, and you yelp out in fright.

The hell? Out of all the times and out of all the places, and denunciate the witch is looking up now!

Shion lets out a groan, with frustration on her face “So sorry for that, misfortune is just like that” you’re not sure what she’s talking about since she’s obviously a I have no money god. So this ain't her fault.

“Hey!” That didn’t sound like a happy hey, Marisa is raising a fist at you like an old man would to children that trespass their lawn “Don’t you dare run! You don’t just ditch a girl like th-and not even that’s the worst! You put me in this mess, spout some nonsense and just leave? What kind of plot hook are you ze!? Come down this instant and be a proper Watson missy!” Oh no, how scary.

Anyway, the suggestion Shion had earlier is worth thinking about. Will you go with your own idea and scale the mountain like a champ, or will you take some comfy rope ride?

Better decide quickly, before the witch gets wise enough to just shoot you down.

[ ] Clearly, the only one way to go up a mountain is the (wo)Manly way.
[ ] A something ride does sound nice now that you think of it.

An barrage of red to green and all in between stars brighten up the sky and graze right next to you, their heat and power is enough to make your skin tingle. They went faster than you realized bullets could go.

“I’m counting to 5 and if you don’t come down then the next one won’t be a warning, last chance ze!” The witch is holding her magic box thingy, and pointing at the sky. from her voice you bet she's not smiling.

You almost forgot. Despite her attitude this girl is one of the big shots around here. Her “Ordinary Magician” title isn’t a mocking nickname, it’s an emblem of pride. This girl is human but is also the only person aside from the Hakurei that has beaten up every single person in this land. Was it not for the fact that you tried out the spell card rules the day you two met…you’d be dead already?

Even so, you can’t let her get in your way, right? Surely you can do something right?

[ ] “Get up here and make me!” One danmaku fight can’t hurt…or at least won’t kill you.
[ ] “Wait don’t shoot! I’m coming” I-it’s just a temporary surrender. Surely reason will win.
[ ] “Catch me if you can” On second thought: Let’s just bail with our lives intact.
[ ] Hold on a second, you have a genius idea! (Write in)
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No you are the Watson
[x] Hold on a second, you have a genius idea!

[x] It's been a while since you've played the game of seduction but even a hard boiled dark nay dooder can betwix the heart of some foresty maiden.

[x] Establish Dominance, you are the Sherlock and she the bumbly sidekick. It is the rule of nature.

If you cannot beat her, then seduce her!
Even if that fails it sounds hilarous to me.
Then continue the quest for Cirno.
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Marisa is not impressed
She was lying below you, some distance away. But even in this distance you could feel the power emanating from her, her opened eyes sharp like a hawk, the box held tight in her hand like a weapon made to kill. This girl was trouble incarnate, and today you were its unlucky target.

You sigh a hardboiled sigh and float down to the ground, arms in the air to show you mean no harm
“Put that thing away, you’re going to hurt my feelings~” and you slowly approach her.

The witch did not lower her weapon, with her arms that have shoulders and legs that have feet the signs of her being on guard couldn’t be more obvious “Your feelings are the last thing you need to worry about, Girl” the fact she wasn’t shouting was a good sign. “I’m not letting you run off again”

“Run?” The girl has such a vivid imagination “I don’t think you can call it that, if anything you took too long with your Rin-pal, so I went ahead and got myself better company” you smile smugly as you point to the gal right behind you, she’s twice better than some witch and we all knew it.
“But did you really miss me that much? Would you like a hug for reassurance?” your arms fly open ready to receive a warm embrace from the witch, it’s only natural she feels that way since it’s you.

Said embrace does not come instead her full lips formed into a pout enough to make a lesser man’s heart melt. Unfortunately for her you were not most men. She meant absolutely nothing to you.

Her nose squints up like a tower, annoyance crawling out of her throat like honey “I don’t think I will, we’ve wasted enough time here and too little was accomplished” it was a light but a tired one, like a dictionary in a stupid family. Something was gnawing at her mind “Now come over here and sniff”.

Sniff? Sniff what exactly? The scent of old metal? The scent of her sweaty body? Or perhaps was it a hidden message? The secret language so many women seem to know but do not share with you?

You take strong whiff of the air around you and don’t feel any different.

Women and their shady ways, oh how you loathed those who acted secretive for no reason.
Do they think it makes them look attractive? Mysterious? No, they were making a show. A show out of the silliest of things. If they could assume the worst out of someone or have a conversation to clear things, then nine times out of ten they would choose the former. Just to spice up their lives.

Pathetic really, and the witch was not going to be any different. She may live in the forest now but give it another decade or so and she’d either be married in the village or become another old hag who lives their lives with a bunch of decrepit black cats and slimy old toads. How you pity her.

So, you know what? You’ll amuse her fancies just this once, let her enjoy her own youth.
You’ll show her seductive you can be, out of pity of course. And a sense of responsibility.

Of course, your view on this did not matter, it never mattered to her. So, you walk towards her to get your answer anyway. “I’d say you smell good, but you don’t” you say with a slight tease “So let’s get this over with, how can I help you this fine afternoon lo…. l-lo!ohhhny!?” but make a small mistake.

“Sherlock” She corrects you and points at the tower before you “While you were off doing whatever you were doing, I went ahead and investigated this whole place without you. Found some suspicious people roaming around, looked like a bunch of knights straight out of another place and era” She lets you see the sight before she continues. “Take a look, course I blasted the bastards already” and the arrow lying in her shoulder tells you why that’s the case. No wonder she’s peeved.

You do and see that right underneath the shrine are pieces of burned armour, deeper within it reeks of the fragrance of Anon and when you look down, you’re in the middle of an oddly shaped circle.

Marisa dumps her oh so interesting lore “That’s the shape of a spiral if you don’t know geometry, it’s purpose is unknown to me but I can feel something pulsing within it. Something alien if not primal. It’s more like you than magical in nature if you get what I mean? It’s got Spiritual vibes, so maybe they were like using this as a summoning tool? Or something even worse!” She claps her hands in excitement and makes her wings shed feathers as she jumps up and down. She's back to a good mood.

This is the opportunity to lay in the charm “Ah, damn, girl, did you just fart? Because you just blew me away” and you add a nice wink to the finishing touch.

Wait, do you wink with the left or right eye? Or is that unimportant? You do both for safety.

You wink both of your eyes closed at the same time; you are so Secksy.

She pauses and gives you a blank look which does not make you look down “Thank you? Whatever, anyway here’s the deal. I’m going to try and like banish you to- “you don’t like those words.

“Whoa, whoa! Hold on a moment!” You immediately back away from her. “What do you mean by that?” You feel like she’s over exaggerating. Sure, you weren’t the smoothest person that existed but that doesn’t mean she can just send your soul to hell or something like that.

“Hey chill I wasn’t done talking” She continues “I meant that in theory. This thing could be a summoning device for them. As in something to go from one place to the other or something. I’m not too sure about that but the fact they went out of their way to cover this place in illusions and barriers is enough proof that whatever is in there was worth protecting. You get me so far?”

You hum in thought. “How is that related to me being banished?” you ask with wary.

She does that motion where you look at someone just so you can roll your eyes, but since it’s just the two of us all she can do is look around the room, then back at you and roll her eyes anyway.

“If this thing connects two places, then surely one can use this side to see what’s back there instead.
So, I’m going to try, and reverse summon you to like there so you’re no longer here but there instead of being sent from there to here” Marisa moves her hands from one point to the other as example.

“Oh, then why don’t you go yourself?” you ask, “I’m busy anyway” and refuse at the same time.

“Because I don’t know if the place is human friendly, and the process might fail”

“And if that happens? What happens if It goes wrong?”

“You’d be ripped apart by space and time and die an agonizing death”

(Music Stops)

A long silence just lies there for a minute as you make sense of that.

“Well, I don’t think I’d like that”

“Nah, don’t worry. There’s only a small chance for it to happen. I swear it’ll be super safe, barely a real danger”

“How much of a danger?”

“Look, you’re overthinking it. It’s just going to be a simple experiment to see if my theory is right.
If it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work, and we all continue with our lives. So, stop worrying about the little things, get into that circle and shut up” She’s being oddly forceful…

As in she’s outright pushing you towards it from behind, as it starts to glow as you get closer to it.

What do you do?

[ ] Let it happen, she’d never harm you.
[ ] Screw this noise, you've got a fairy to find!
[ ] You’re starting to think she’s suspicious, pre-emptive strike.
[ ] None of this is real, wake up.
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Looks like it's soon time to roll the funny rock again.

I'll do it in a hour or two, and afterwards the update will come (In like another hour).

So if anyone wants to vote during that time, you can until then.
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Let's do this

Rolling 1d4 => 3
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Oh no, I don't like where this is going.
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Fashion Disaster
Something is wrong, at least you feel like something is being overlooked.

You wonder why, but even so you’re not one to ignore instincts.

“Why did you stop? Keep moving!” Marisa tries to push you towards it again, in vain since the moment you put force in your feet no human could possibly make you move. “You’ll get candy!”

Wait really? That changes everything! You love candy “How much?” and you turn around to grab her arms and stare into her eyes like a hyperactive puppy wanting chocolate “I waaaant it~ I waaaant lots of it! A mountain of gummy bears~ a river of chocolate~~ and a citadel of jawbreakers! With their powers combined they make your mouth a slice of heaven!” your mouth waters and you cannot hide the lust for your unholy desires “Gimme Gimme Gimme!” and finallu drop the hardboiled façade alongside all the insults towards her person.

Food is nice, so people that give it to you are nice people. It’s basic math.

Her appearance proves it too, a closer look makes that quite obvious.

With her angelic white wings on her back and the small tiara on her black hat she gives off a heavenly presence. “It’s all in the circle” Not to forget the fact her clothes are no longer a pure black but instead another colour similar to it except for some sort of pink cloak covering her waist and going to her legs, anyway the dress itself has a colour very similar to black but you know better than to think it’s actually black because you’re awesome and Rumia and both mean the same thing.

After all you were forged in the shadows and those who live in darkness should know what darkness looks like the most since they look at it all the time, her dress is not black it is Midnight Blue.

Hold on a moment, the witch is known as the black and white not the midnight blue and white, why would she change clothes now of all times!? That doesn’t make sense…there can only be one explanation for this, only one way to explain how she managed to get a new wardrobe!

She changed her clothes at Kourindou “Just step on the circle, and you’ll get your yums yums” her voice is very calm and that smile on her face almost motherly “I promise you’ll get candy and much more once you come back~”. Her manipulation is so blatant but too powerful to resist.

You look at the circle again, it’s a pattern of several circles aligned with each other in a circle way. They’re all around each other and almost look like an eye from your angle, it has a reddish glint too.

You look back at her and nod no “Give me the candy first” and hold out your hand for it. There’s no way you’re risking your life for anything less than a prepaid snack. You have standards.

Her smile becomes a bit more awkward “I don’t have them right now, but wi- “you interrupt.

“W-what, so there’s no candy?” your eyes become more focused, and you show your sharp teeth. “Y-you don’t, have it?”

Your throat turns dry, and your voice becomes stiff, d-did she deceive you? But you trusted her…

“Uh, no?” The liar says suddenly aware of your close proximities “I’m just saying that the candy is not on me it’s in the circle, where the place you’re going is there will be loots of it. Pinkie Promise!”

Liar, you’re not that smart true but you’re not THAT dumb either. “Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not lying though…” her hand slowly goes for her box, probably to try and blast you. “Don’t let this get nasty, okay? Just do what I say, and all will be fine” she speaks as an attempt to distract you.

You don’t see why she would do that though, why would she ever lie to you? She never did before.

And if she lied about this, then what else has she lied about? Is this even Marisa you’re speaking to?

You’ve seen an Anon take the appearance of someone else before, didn’t you?

She could be an impostor, another one of those freaks trying to deceive you so they can do bad and mean things!

It wouldn’t be too odd, the both of you are under some tower covered in shrubberies so no one could see what’s happening inside. She mentioned some barriers too and you don’t see Shion anywhere which can only mean one thing: She wanted to be alone with you. She prepared for this.

She’s an anon, and that’s all you need to know. You turn on your saw and it lets out a steel cry “Liar”

She rolls her eyes again “Challenging me? Look, buddy, I don’t think you wanna do that right now. But if you’re looking for a beating that bad, weeeeeell…” she then stands tall over you, brushing aside the tail of her pink coat thingy as she got into a fighting stance, confident smirk and all.

“Hell, I guess I could have a little bit of fun with you. Gotta hit my quota of beating up unrelated targets anyway and you’ll make a fine stage 1 boss” she already assumes she’ll win and does a cocky hand gesture.

A Impossible Battle begins: The Ordinary Witch is about to give you a Ordinary Beating!

Let’s show much more powerful you’ve become! which is not at all “I’m going to vanquish you!” you declare with intense bravery and courage and shadowy justice!

immediately, you roar forwards and swing your normal fist like a fierce haymaker aimed at her head, intent to knock her out in one blow. But anon had better agility and could easily telegraph your attack. She ducked her head under your arm and with a swift movement, slammed a shot of burning stars hard into your gut sending you reeling back, coughing for air in pain. She didn’t let up, and promptly gave a short hop off the floor to snap a magically charged kick upwards into your face, throwing you off your feet and to the floor with a loud grunt on the face first landing.

That could have gone better "The evil within me cannot be contained!" and you rise up ready for round two!

Except not, instead you try to get up only to see a large yellow star brimming with sun energy coming for y-

Your veins feel like they are on fire, your skin scalds and energy leave your body like chocolate melting under the hot rays of the sun. Fun fact: The sun is NOT your friend.

You get schooled instantly. “Tsk, can’t even withstand a single Luminous Star?” even worse she’s taunting you; her voice sounds genuinely disappointed too which makes it even worse. "Whatever evil resides inside you isn't enough to take me down, you're all talk and no show!"

Despite your complaints and will to prove her wrong, your body thinks that the floor feels very nice now.

“Well fine I can work with this” She walks over to you and starts dragging your leg “The strong rule over the weak is what you said for Narumi right?” You can almost hear her smile “So with that logic, you’re basically my bitch now. Even if you’re a weak one...” she’s technically right and you hate her for it.

You can’t believe you lost so easily, she didn’t even sweat or struggle. Just a one two three combo and here you are on the ground lying like some forgettable foe for the hero to overcome to showcase how awesome they are.

Dammit…. DAMMIT! Here you were fighting with all of your strength while she was barely warming up! Is this it? Is this how your adventure ends? Your title of Awesome turned to Marisa’s Dog? Could you honestly live with yourself if that happens? Could you look Cirno in the eye and say “Sorry, I’m not even second place I’m a woof woof garbage now”?

Of course, you can’t, you’d rather die than let that happen, but the witch is simply too strong.

The power of friendship!

Intense willpower!

Or what have you!

They can’t save you now!

Letting someone overcome their limits that way only works in fantasy, and even so the distance between the two of you might simply be too great to overcome no matter how hard you try.

Even so the question remains...

Are you a Man Eater or a Man’s Dog?

[ ] Genuflect.
[ ] Do NOT Genuflect.
[ ] Beg Shion for help, where the hell is she?
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[x] Do NOT Genuflect

I would do a combat writein, but this whole situation is super weird. Why does Marisa have wings? It's clearly still Marisa since she remembered the conversation hours before. I'm as confused as Rumia isn't here.
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[X] Do NOT Genuflect.

Now is not the time to consider now is not the time to analyse or ponder now is the time to ACT.
And when one must act they act with will! With force! With pride in their country, and themselves! And most of all they act with intent! An intent to take those who would do them and theirs harm and BREAK them upon the spiked knee of LIBERTY AND JUSTICE!
So break this fool Rumia! Break her like the pathetic freedom hating worm she is!
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Give up already you mongrel
Why are you even asking this? Of course, you’re a man eater!

It doesn’t matter if you’re weak, it doesn’t matter if you’re dumb!


With that knowledge you STAND…not, your body refuses to move again.

Looks like the mind and body are two separate things.

Even though your mind is filled with AMAZING WILLPOWER!





And your heart shines with feelings purer than red prism!

Your body has just run out of ju-juice, the batteries are zero and the pain is maximum. Being KO is nonsense.

Meanwhile the Witch is dragging your sorry ass closer to the circle of uncertain doom, she’s almost there too.

You try again to MAKE your body move! But there is no response.

You concentrate deeply on the manly feelings inside your mind! No response.
You concentrate on the burning flames of your resolve! Again, no response.
You try everything, from dramatic flashback to shouting the name of your friends, from an inspiring speech from a father figure you don’t have to words of encouragements your friends would give if they were here.

Go Rumia! You can do this Rumia! STAND THE HELL UP YOU PANSY! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!

But again, there is no response, the only thing you feel each time you breathe is a world of hurt. As if you were electrocuted from the inside, jolts of pain surge through your red skin like needles.

The fun thing is that your eyes aren’t the only thing that can’t support the sun, you’re weak to it from head to toe in different intensities. A small morning can be supported with sunglasses but if you were to ever go lie buck naked in the dessert sun on a summer day then your body would be burning up faster than a bathtub filled with oil that got a lit cigar thrown at it.

And a miniature star, aka a freaking sun was thrown straight you from the mad witch herself!

Life is so unfair sometimes, can heroic second winds be done only once a day or what?

You can still move your head though, so you hold onto the ground with your sharp teeth!

You won’t let her nefarious plan succeed! Even if you don’t know what it is! YOU WILL FIGHT!

Pain strikes you from the side “Stop resisting you mutt!” the witch kicked you, none too pleased with your decision and outright annoyed by your resistance “Bad dog! Stop being a baby and accept your loss” Her wings become more tense, and her face shows a scowl, this girl is no angel, she's the devil in disguise. An Anon and you know it.

Hell, the fact she’s trying to give you dog names only makes you want to resist more, you're just not into that.

“W…wh” you mumble something, but the words don’t come out right.

“Haaa? What’d you say?” She comes closer to hear you, hand on her ear for some reason “Are you going to cooperate now? I don’t like doing this to you, just so you know but I will if I need to”.

That is a lie, it has to be. She’d never beat up someone just to use them as a guinea pig…or would she? You don’t know her that well and besides you’ve never liked each other that much.

A human who wants to be more than prey doesn’t mix well with a professional man eater.

Even so this feels a b-ARGH! WHY DO YOU GIVE A SHIT?! It’s fight or die time! Leave the thinking for when you’re safe and fight like a man no fight like a monster! Devour she that throws the sun you wimp! MAKE YOUR DREAMS TRUE NOW!

You attempt to speak again “Wh..Wha- “but your mumbling is interrupted as pain strikes at your scalp. Your hair is being pulled at and you’re forced to stand up as a result.

“What is what?” and the girl’s face is facing yours now, her other hand is on your chin, so close you could almost bite her even. “Don’t speak with your mouth full, if you want to say something then look the person in the eye”. The confidence in her tone is almost disarming, she doesn’t see you as a threat all and might even be playing with you.

The mere notion rouses your anger.

What did the dog say to the winged witch?” you ask her, filled with unwholesome intent.

“What did what?” her eyes show confusion, followed by playfulness “A dog joke? At this time and at this exact moment you’re trying to distract me with a dog joke? It is a good one~”.

“You’re supposed to say that what did the dog say? Say that to me” you growl back.

“Fine, what did the dog say to the winged witch?” The witch asks you.

Please fur-give me” you beg for mercy.

“Forgiveness denied~” She replies back “Anyway let’s go ba- “

“I wasn’t begging for yours, I was asking furgiveness from the Hakurei Maiden”

“What do you mean?” power grows within her, as her guard goes up “Are you gonna ask forgiveness for killing her best friend?” she removes the hand holding your chin and presses the shooty box against your cheek, it’s warm to the touch “That’s a mighty boast you’re pulling if so…for a weak bitch” disgust comes out of her voice as if she’s looking down to an insect.

“No, I’m not going to kill you or ask for forgiveness at all” and you inhale deeply “I’m going to….” and you strike!

[ ] Be ruff, head but her face. Spit blood in her eye. Anything to win!
[ ] Dog-gone it, you don’t need hands to use a spell card. Push her into the circle!
[ ] Live the pug life, scream like a dying coyote, shit the floor. Be batshit insane!
[ ] Something else (With a dog pun for extra flavour).

Note: You can’t move than your head now. That doesn’t mean winning is impossible.
You’re just going to have to find a way to beat the odds. I believe in you!
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[x] She sure wants us to eat that box. Perhaps a bit more, while we're at it. You aren't supposed to leave your hand near an animal's muzzle, after all.
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[x] She sure wants us to eat that box. Perhaps a bit more, while we're at it. You aren't supposed to leave your hand near an animal's muzzle, after all.
Chipolata! Bratwurst! Frankfurter! Choritzo! Battered Sausage! Pepperoni!
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(Again, no peeky weeky at the image until said so)

The way she’s pushing that box into your face, its warm touch caressing the cheek.

That killer grin on her mouth and the smugness in her eyes.

All of them mean one thing: She think she has already won.

Let’s prove her wrong! You open your mouth and bite! Bite with the grip of a thousand chains!

“Wha-HYAAAAAAAA!” The Witch lets out a girlish scream as her skin is cut open by your teeth and her arm clamped down like a snare by your jaw, a delicious red syrup enters your throat as she struggles to make you let go only for the effort to worsen her wound due to the movements.

Heh, to clamp down a prey and wait for them to get exhausted slash bleed out is a common tactic among hunters. The fact she didn’t see through is her own fault! “Hmave you ghoot enough?” you gloat with your mouth full.

You feel like you can win as your energy slowly returns by each drop of blood you consume.
To consume someone is to devour their life, of course the more you eat the stronger you'll become.

You've yet to eat anyone that actually matters though cause if you did the Hakurei Maiden would get mad.

A vicious glare is her response, red eyes staring into yours as her tiara flickers a crimson light occasionally “I-I’ll- “she shudders as your teeth dig deeper “You’re too late!” which makes no sense at all and wait why do you feel a heat inside of yo-Ooooooooh nooooooo!

The Shooty Box! SHE’S GOING TO SHOOT YOU! And then you’ll be reduced to ashes forever.

Dead end, like a completely dead end. Maybe the adventure will continue in the afterlife? that'd be lame though..

So you have tpo stop her! which you probably should be doing in the first place instead of thinking!

So you close your eyes and do the first thing that comes to mind when a girl puts a foreign object inside your mouth even though you were the one that bit it first.

You swallow the box; you swallow it in one smooth gulp without letting go of her and smile.

What are you going to do bi-oh no, you don’t like that feeling.

It’s a bad feeling even, very uncomfortable even? Why are you being vague now?

In simple terms you are in deep trouble: you knew that the moment the box was in your stomach. The box is hot, extremely hot and the temperature keeps going up while your inner juicy juices do nothing to cool it down or relieve it. You are sweating from every cell. Your cheeks are sweating. Your soul is sweating. Your belly juju must melt this thing quickly, but it won’t and so fear sets in within you as you realize there’s only one way it’ll come out of you, and you chose poorly. If you’ve never felt something vibrate within your stomach in real-time, it is a little not EXTREMELY unnerving. You can feel it physically bounce around your stomach as energy wraps around it and it goes faster and faster as the sensation slowly turns to a blur of it being everywhere unless it’s not actually moving but shooting danmaku inside of you? You have no idea what’s happening in there.

You try to ignore and focus on Ma-why does it feel like you’re being boiled from the inside?!

You start gagging but refuse to let go of the witch, you’re not even sure what she’s doing right now as the sensation inside of you is far too distracting than any kind of manoeuvre she could try right now.

What’s she gonna do?

Punch you? It’d feel like a love tap!

Perhaps smash you against a wall? Same feeling sucker!

Girls like you and youkai in general are extremely resilient to physical attacks.

And good luck casting magic without your stupid bo-OOOH, YOU’RE going TO explode!















(You may look now)







“Long time no see” A GREEN GOBLIN SPEAKS TO YOU “Well, more like you couldn’t see me until now. I’ve been haunting your ass the whole time” YOU FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW HER “Anyway listen up because you don’t have much time til you go boom”.


"That didn't even tickle..." SHE TAKES OUT SOME PAPER AND SMACKS YOU “Get a hold of yourself man. This isn’t you Rum!” SHE PAUSES “Okay sure this kind of is you but right now you ate something nasty. Orichalcum to be precise and that shit is like what chocolate is to dogs to uh yo-dammit if only I had a script…you’re tripping balls in short” SHE REMOVES HER SUPERIOR SHADES AND LOOKS YOU IN THE EYE WITH A FROWN. "Mega balls even, honestly I'd beat the shit out of you to get you the calm down but these hands are just air...sigh"

“Now I’m not going to question your life choices, but you won’t have a life if you don’t spit that shit out sooner or actually immediately. Like seriously you’re about to blow up and we can’t have you die that way now, can we?” SHE SHRUGS “Look, I really got nothing big to say, no grand epiphany to give you new insight or a simple *I forgive you* to give your heart ease and yada yada…cause none of this is your fault really, you and me we’re just having a bad day. So, get up, use your own power like the little badass you are. Get out of this mess off a situation and reassemble the team for a good new adventure! I’ll be waiting for you...and if you don't then well, it'll be a surprise”

SHE FADES AWAY WITH A WAVE LIKE A SPOOK-OH SHE’S BACK “Almost forgot a thing! Get my doll from Marisa’s hat too because she found them without you. Also, if you die now I’ll never forgive you”. SHE GONE NOW.




Your opponent still isn’t down! Wait she is but like locationally and not KO down.

How will you face her?

[ ] Get into her face and keep hitting it until she stops moving?
[ ] Screw this nonsense, you’re getting out of here!
[ ] Maybe you could talk it out? You are definitely in better condition than her.
[ ] You’ve figured something out! Do the thing! (Write in).

note: Eating magic items can lead to bizarre side effects, I am not to be held responsible for the things that might occur or the crazy shit that will happen in the future, hope you can turn your brain off and enjoy yourself.

Of course there's a way to fix this, but you'll have to figure it out yourself.
I seriously question what has led me to writing this adventure when I see the script sometimes.
THE CRINGE of being the author of THIS is real, but this adventure will see it's end! that I am determined off.

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[x] Spit it out.
[x] Toss the tiara in the circle, hope the circle activates itself, and dip.

I don't want to deal with the idea that the wings are the bad anon magic without something to freeze them off.
Also, are we perma-Baki-fied for the moment? This is not where I expected this to go.
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Proffesor rumia

Not really, you live in the land of fantasy after all.

There'd be plenty of people that can get that rid off (Such as an certain Superhuman or a genuis Doctor, yada yada) for you if it does stick after you spit the box out. Same for the saw hand.

"Power that's easily gained can be lost easily as wel" or something.

You've got a certain freedom to do what you think is best and if you're ever stuck then I will answer any question you have. (As long as it is not a massive spoiler).

Where did you expect this to go though? I'd love to hear any theories and expectations you had.
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Finally, would you like a sort of summary slash synopsis written down in a humourous way to describe what I'm going for here?.

No spoilers of course, but it'd be more of an "This is what you can expect from this story" thing.

I don't mind if that helps out.
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Honestly, I want to see more of this completely blind. Marisa doubling back and getting whacked by an anon item is unsurprising but wholly hilarious.

What I thought would happen realistically would be that we took her hand with us, or that we would get the Hakkero and it would do nothing out of hand. Best case scenario, we gain the ability to fire lasers from our mouth like godzilla.
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You know what this adventure really is the worst



















IT HAS BEEN RE-moVeD. You have successfully removed the damn box before it was too late.

It is messy, red, and covered in what you think is your blood. But that doesn’t matter right now so you throw it to the ground, nor does the fact that you’re leaking more on the floor as you speak.

Your body has taken worse.

You are real hardboiled badass after all!

Okay that’s a lie, you just wanted to sound cool. But let’s keep going.

Even though the absence of pony coins and your body NOT being that of an Amazonian war god is relieving news to you. That too does not matter right now. You feel so calm and focused now.

Again that's a lie, you don't feel anything right now .

Maybe, your fight or flight response has gone into overdrive and geared into KICK ASS? Nah.

That’s dumb, and you’re dumb for thinking that. Anyway, let’s go back to what does matter.

You stagger towards the thing that does matter and get into pummel the shit out of it ranges.

That’s the Witch by the way and you grab her by the head like one does uh something?

Her eyes are unfocused, her mouth is drooling, and funny stars are racing around her head.

You’re not sure if you hit her too hard, but the fact she’s taking longer than you to recover says a lot about the human condition, not like you’re in any better status to mock her right now.

That dumb tiara is still flickering too, she probably stole it from some princess.
But you do wonder something, a funny little thought that’s come in your head just now.
You’ve never thought you needed a hate list, but right now she’s got the silver prize.
But what is stopping you from slashing your claw against her throat and calling it a day?

Other than the fact that the maiden would hunt your ass, the fairies would be proven right about the murder except for the time zone and the fact every important person in genso-okay that’s a lot.

It sure pays to be famous, doesn’t it? You can’t help but feel jealous now. If she were you, she’d already be on the mountain, taking care of the final boss and whatever else comes? Life is unfair…

You decide to remove the dumb piece of luxury on her head and throw it into the circle just to spite her and see what happens. (You bash her head against the floor just to knock her out too! teehee)

It just drops into the eye circle as if it was thrown into water, there’s even small waves flickering across the floor as it restabilizes. Why is tha-never mind, you make a wish instead.

You wish within your hearts of hearts that this was all nothing but a dream.
That this whole thing with Anons and stuff was nothing but the result of you sleeping with a full stomach even though the doctor told you that doing so could lead to obesity and nightmares.

This would be quite the nightmare~ you’ll wake up in a warm bed or a nice cold rock, go out to watch the stars with your friends, maybe have a sake or two and enjoy the humble life!

You keep your eyes closed for another few seconds, you could really use a dream reveal right now.

Surely there’s a whole bunch of inconsistencies that prove this can’t be right?

You open your eyes with some mild dread. And yes, this is reality.

Great…not only did you obtain nothing out of this, but the fight wasn’t even fun in the first place.

You learned nothing, you obtained nothing. You only feel pissed and tired after this.

Is this how the Hakurei Maiden feels each incident? You should give her a donation later.

You sigh and head for the exit, which is like everywhere cause you’re outside and-bonk!

Ow, you smashed your head against a wall, it’s got the exact same vibes as the circle as in it’s red, got spiral patterns and looks like a botched attempt to make an eye. The exception being the white aura tint that’s around the outlines of it, clearly, it’s meant to prevent entry or exit or both.

You back off and grumble, that’s the cheapest kind of magic one can pull.

And now it’s gone? Why did it disappear?

You approach it again

And it’s back! What is this nonsense?!

You touch it and this time it feels solid, it’s warm and sticky to the touch like honey too.

Okay that’s a weird kind of solid but it’s more like pressing your hand against a wall covered i-NO.

You know what? No to that! No to this! No to all off it! YOU’RE DONE WITH THIS!

Enough of this nonsense, you force your hands into the ground and start digging like a dog, earth is thrown around faster than a person can count or even swim. The earth could be clay for all you care as you dig, dig some more, and keep digging until you think you’re far enough and go back up.

You’re back in the room, only on the other side of it now.


You must have messed up, so you go back and dig again.

You swim through the dirt like you’re a fish made for swimming in dirt. And go back up.

Cold Water meets your face, but you ignore that and force yourself to go back up.

There’s mud, fishy fishies and as you fly out of the river there are trees and greens.

You’re back in the forest basically. You don’t know how far away you went but these trees and the vibes clearly show that you’re back on the outskirts of it. Uh Yaaaaaay?

You don’t feel that happy, even though you feel you should be.

Your stomach hole has closed by now, but the burns might take more time.

You’ve got nothing but the damaged clothes on your person, the saw hand thing you got and for some reason you managed to hold onto the damn thing that doesn’t fly back when thrown.

You feel tired, like in your everything and of everything. You deserve a break.

But you’re not going to do that are you? The villain job is a fulltime one…ugh.

Okay you won’t lie to yourself. You want a bath, some food, and a nap...maybe be spoiled too.

Like right now, you don’t care where it comes from. That's your epiphany! Woohoo~

You've found a better purpose in life: Making sure Anon won't find you!

[ ] To the Misty Lake, it’s close to the Mountain. Got the fishiest fish and all that stuff.
[ ] To Kourindou, it’s the closest place and there’s no way Rin would refuse you like this.
[ ] You feel like you’re forgetting something or someone, go back as in walk to the tower.
[ ] You know what? Let’s go bother a certain maiden. She can take over this whole mess.
[ ] Somewhere else, as long as it’s got any of the above it’s fine with you.
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[X] Lake
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[x] You feel like you’re forgetting something or someone, go back as in walk to the tower. Return to the path toward Moriya Shrine.

Being Roomia is suffering.
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Lets go to an adventure
Speaking of baths, there is only one place where one gets the ultimate chill experience.

That’s the Misty Lake!

It is cold, wet and anyone can enter it.

Cause it’s a lake, just a misty one.

Why is it called Misty Lake though? That’s not very creative, it’s like if you’d call a cat Catfood Cat because it’s a Cat and eats Catfood or if you called a fairy the sunflower Fai-you get the gist.

With that decided, you shall henceforth give it a better name.

Wild Water Way! Because it has Wild fish in it, got Water in it, and that's the Way you're heading!

You start to walk towards the Wild Water Way, proud of the new name you gave it.

It uses the same letters so it’s Alliterave, and that’s a seki grammar thing.

Not only that but it has more traits to it too, and the more stuff you add to something the better it is!

You are so big brain. People should give you a prize and title for being the biggest big brain in the brainyverse.

Take that moon people! They can't trick you by saying the moon is made out of cheese! Cause it's not even real!

You are smart, you must hide the smartyness or they'll cut your head open to take it and mass produce it.

The pain is being a higher grade being than most people is a real pain. You are suffering from success.

Not really, you cut yourself open for some reason, lost your shoes, and got your ass kicked twice to three times now in less than a day. You hunger for food and wish for sleep. Your brain is small.

This is called suffering, right? Indeed, being Rumia is suffering!

You are suffering successfully! You are so proud of yourself-wait no, that’s not a good thing.

You decide to stop suffering! You are not successful in doing that! That is still not a good thing.

You want meat to devour, you want a bed to lie on, you want a bed made of meat!

With that resolve you walk towards the Wild Water Way but stop since you forgot something.

That witch who stole your shoes! You must get back at her, maybe steal her wallet too. That way you can buy candy and food with her money, then you’ll eat the food to become a Full Girl as in a Happy Girl and use the candy to get fairy slaves! You smirk when you remember how little Cirno sprained her back washing your dishes, taking out the trash, and folding your laundry all for the low price of two lollipops and a pixie stick. Then Alice kicked both of you out of her house once she came back.

The pale one who did not steal them! She is a good girl and you left her all alone and unprotected, then again you doubt anyone would approach her since she smells bad, looks bad and really has this whole creepy atmosphere about her. If anything, you’re happy she isn’t here...but you’re generous and amazing and humble too so you can tolerate her presence. She’ll prove useful somehow.

And your shoes who were stolen! Okay you know what? Walking without them is really annoying so you’re going to materialise the fuck out of pair now somehow. You focus your mind. You charge your energy. And cast a Fifth-Level Shadow Creation with the power of awesome shadowiness! You reach out into the darkness, and the darkness gropes you. Wait, what? No, it’s dragging you! Holy shit. This is not good. This is so not good. You feel a powerful force trying to drag you through some portal! But you grind your feet, clench your teeth, and PULL instead! Making the bastard fall out on their but! You use the opportunity to stomp the darkness, once, twice, three times as if you’re trying to make mochi until it stops moving. “GIVE ME SHOES OR DIE!” you command as you humiliate it.

You can’t really see anything but after a while the presence disappears and so does the darkness.
The only thing left are a pair of little neat shadow shoes, they’re just the right size too.

You almost forgot weird stuff happens if you try anything complex, even though the spooky thing was quite simple today. It’s almost a bother and makes the darkness unreliable as anything but support. Feisty bitch has like…you’re not sure what. But there is something in there and you don't want to piss it off more than need be.

Anyway, you got your shoes back, but got a headache in exchange. What were you doing again?

Oh yes you were heading back to the tower, so you head to the tower.
Oh yes you were heading for the Wild Water Way too, so you go there as well.

As you try to walk both left and right at the same time, you end up walking in circles.

You are confused, but resist the urge to punch yourself. It's uh the simple math of space and time!

So you conclude that it looks like you can’t go to two different places at once. Even though the Lake is in the same path as that towards the Moriya Shrine, the Forest itself is towards another direction entirely.

So it cannot be done, you can't go at both of them at the same time. It is scientifically impossible.

So, what do you do now?

[ ] Go to the lake, you want some food and it’s in the way towards Youkai Mountain.
[ ] Go back to the Tower, you want to recover some things first.
[ ] Go towards both, maybe you’re not trying hard enough?

Tie breaker?
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Lake shall be 1
and Tower is 2

Rolling a 1d2 for it, and update will follow soon after.

Rolling 1d2 => 1
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"[X] Lake" finds a way.
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Why are you on this adventure again (2)
Destiny calls once more! The Wild Water Way is but the stage 1 of your adventure!

You ignore gravity and soar through the air, then you get lost in the seas of trees.

You know this place like the back of your hand, but you can’t look at your hands right now because of the darkness surrounding you. But you’re good at being bad at seeing stuff good so all is okay.

You continue your flight undiscouraged; your destiny will guide you! You are never lost for you always will be where you need to be and it’s not like a lake can hide that long from you.

If they, could you’d be very surprised, it might even explain why there’s only one big one: because it ate all the smaller lakes, it shredded em! Devoured em! The liquid could not be satisfied but it had to continue lest it not survive and starve to death. So, it kept going on and on until the remaining survivors went into hiding.

And then the lake starved to death.

Bad end.

The Aesop of that story is that: one can’t eat what they can’t see and wait you can but then you might mistake a tree for a person like an idiot. Heh, of you’d never do that. You’re smart.

A whole 30 minutes, 5 random encounters with youkai you’ve never seen before (You simply flew past them and they ignored you in return) and having to change course 3 times you exit the forest.

You pass through a bunch of farmlands and notice that some of the farmers have managed to hire people with weird clothes to tend the fields for them, not only that but on the roads nearby are a bunch of other yummy humans and not so yummy not humans all heading together for what you think is the road to the Hakurei Shrine from the human village.

You don’t really care.

And move on before the farmers might shoot you with their spell cards, they don’t like you after you’ve stolen a watermelon too many last year. Okay sure you’re amazing but these gals are built different.

Like serouisly built different, you can say with confidence that you can take on most of the youkais and fairies in the forest with moderate ease, but the humans that aren't outsiders are stupid strong. Not as strong as the witch and maiden but still capable of giving you a very bad time if you pissed them off. So you won't risk it.

After some more travel the air becomes moister, the devilish trees are thinner and the temperature changes from a warm summer breeze to a cold-no it’s not that cold war- but it’s not that hot either, it changes to a temperature that’s not that hot or cold and doesn’t do much to you.

What you meant was you’re getting closer to the Wild Water Way and see a massive mist around what you presume is the lake and its surroundings. Guess that means it’s the afternoon.

You let out a yawn and in response your stomach grumbles a little roar. It wants the yum yums.

You guess you could go eat some of the local wildlife even though you don’t like fish or frog that much compared to the succulent blood red dripping saucy MEAT that other creatures have.

Sadly enough, the vampire misses, or something has declared this place her hunting ground and so eating anything here is asking for a beating if she finds out. You’re not sure why she bothered to do that since she’s rumoured to be a light eater and that she has a secret man dungeon where she’s got a bunch of like humans to drink from whenever she wants like some aristocrat and if you end up there then you’ll never come back…then again that might all be nothing but rumours right? You’re not sure what fairies eat but you’ve never heard them complain and besides how does anyone know of a place where no one re-you’re overthinking it.

Who cares about all that anyway? let's just ea-hold on, you got an idea!

Actually why not visit them instead and get food that way? Surely, they’d be honoured to have you as a guest! Hell, you might even find Dai and stuff. She was in there, right? You’re starting to forget.

Or just go into the lake itsel-hold on a moment, you can see figures in the distance. There are like what you think is the shape of some big spaghetti noodles and dumplings? Well not really that but they look like that to you, not only that but you can hear drums and guitars noises too. Are they having a party? Why have it on a cold lake of all places?

Only way to find out would be to get in the misty mist and get a lookie looksie. You wonder how they all taste...

You start to drool but wipe your mouth immediately, you’re getting offtrack! You have a mission you need to fulfil remember? To find Cirno for…. why are you doing this again? Uuh, just because?

No, that’s lame. You’re doing it to fulfil a dream. You’re going to find a girl worth fighting for!
So you’ll follow the swirling rivers, to find the girl! You’ll climb the rocky hills, to find the girl!
You’ll reach the top of the shrine and go above and beyond to find the girl with the frosty chills!
Because your dream is to find a girl worth fighting for!

Or was it something else? Your head is getting hazy and your vision blurry, you really need some food juice for your brain or like your whole body.

[ ] The lake hides life, life you must feed on to survive! Let’s eat the yummy figures!
[ ] Why bother when there’s a mansion just nearby with mansion quality food?
[ ] You hunger for something greater, DESTINY! Let’s go to Youkai Mountain!
[ ] Remember why you’re here! You have a mission to fulfil! (Write in).
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[x] The lake hides life, life you must feed on to survive! Let’s eat the yummy figures!
Back to basics
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What is this
There must be someone at the lake!

That music! Those figures!

They look yummy as heck!

With that resolve you fly off towards the mist, nothing can stop you from getting your prey.

The deeper you go, the colder it gets, and the mist doesn’t seem to en-oh wait it does!

Immediately the weather changes from calm and misty to misty and violent, a gust of ice-cold wind assaults your face with a passion and makes you cringe, the sudden attack blinds you for a short second and forces you to land on a platform nearby so you can get your bearings.

“Muuuu~ it’s either too hot or too cold, why is it always like that” you complain as you rub your eyes, but they soon recover, and you look at your surroundings while your stomach is rumbling like crazy.

There is water as far as the eye can see, structures made of ice too precise to be natural and a music that plays without any physical instruments being there all come to your notice. Is this magic perhaps? Mist surrounds everything so maybe.

The music has gotten louder and now plays some xonosomething too? it feels pretty fiting for a ice place. Almost relaxing.

There’s a bunch of smaller icebergs right next to each other, barely wide enough to easily jump over but not step over and they’re constantly moving too.

Further ahead lies a grander mountain of ice, it’s in the shape of a…. your vision is too blurry to tell. But someone altered this place that's for sure, the place never looked like this ever.

Who did this? Why did they do it? Could Cirno be involved in this? No one answers your questions.

By the way, the music played has become a tad louder now and seems to be coming from the bigger ice mountain thingy, you try to fly again but the moment you do the wind becomes far more worse than it was before and burns some of your skin outright.

Seems flying is a no no here…Duck!

No seriously duck! That wasn’t a swear! You feel like you should or get your head bashed in!

You obey your instincts, and you lean down as a large ball made of snow swooshes past your face! You see the oddest thing you’ve ever seen in your life: A fuzzy blue ball with tentacles holding a cannon while white smaller fuzzballs get into it as ammunition. It seems to be shooting at places randomly and your platforms just happened to get close to each-hold on a moment!

You look behind yourself and see that indeed your ice platform that was closer to the edge of the lake now seems to have joined the rest of them, what a lucky day to be Rumia! There better be food...

Anyway, concerning the blue fuzz ball thing: you don’t know if that thing was the only one in the area, but you now know that what you saw wasn’t a dumpling…. but maybe you could eat it anyway? You feel like you can jump to it with some ease, there was a time in which you didn’t know how to fly so maybe your jumping skills haven’t gone that ru-*GROOOAAAAAAAR!* Oh, your stomach…

Screw this, you need to get food NOW! Maybe you could just jump into the water and fish for some fishiest…unless the water is too cold or has like enemies in it. There’s also the fuzzballs up ahead tha-you dodge another canonfuzball with ease.

You could eat the fuzzballs maybe? I mean they attacked first so it’s okay if they die~

Or you could just go further ahead and see what’s this whole mess about. Or you could try to go back no matter what and get another wa-oh the platform stopped moving.

It is now in front of 3? 4? Other ice platforms with some spikes around a path, some gaps to jump between and a few normal fuzzballs walking around left and right, they’re roaring in tune to the music too and honestly at this point you’re starting to lose your sense of disbelief.

Who made this? WHY would anyone waste their time making this? Where did the ice fairies go? There’s no way they wouldn’t let someone mess-*GROOOOAARR!* Ugh…. it’s starting to become painful, the void inside of you needs to be filled.

What do you do?

[ ] Keep going ahead, find the music person and have them spent their time making you food instead of wasting their time making platforms on a lake people don’t care about. (Exploring~)
[ ] Devour some fuzzballs, they don’t look that tasty but you need something in your belly. (Food~)
[ ] Jump into the water, it has fishy fishiest fishes even if it is colder than a dozen ice fairies. (Food~)
[ ] NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE! Nu-uh, you ain't doing this! you’ll go somewhere else! (insert a escape flavor please~)

Note: I'm going to be pretty busy tommorow, so consider this a earlier update for that day okay?

I hope you enjoyed your weekend! and will await your votes warmly...or coldly?
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[F.O.E] Devour some fuzzballs, they don’t look that tasty but you need something in your belly. (Food~)
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[x] Devour some fuzzballs, they don’t look that tasty but you need something in your belly. (Food~)
Acquire sustenance. We need energy to kick the anonified instruments off of the lake. (Rumi just can't seem to run into people anon.)
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[x] Jump into the water, it has fishy fishiest fishes even if it is colder than a dozen ice fairies. (Food~)
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File 163522108910.jpg - (566.44KB, 1405x887, Roombysaw fancy.jpg)
Roombysaw fancy
If I post OC with it can I vote a second time for fuzzballs?
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That is BEAUTIFUL! really I've got no words for how much that means to me.

Thank you for that drawing Anon, it really motivates the hell out of me to know you're all enjoying this, also sure why not for the fuzzball vote.

The update is coming soon now, in like a hour or two.
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Fuzzballs sure are yummy
You look at all the platforms ahead and the fuzzballs ahead, the way they move their smooth shape, the healthy gleam their fur has alongside the dull empty look in their eyes (Their eyes have litteral spirals in em) makes them look so yummy!

You wonder how they taste raw, you wonder how they taste boiled, you wonder how they taste frozen and can wait no longer! You must eat all of them!

You rush off your platform and jump off the edge, rise above the cold merciless water below while doing a flip in mid-air and stick your super Rumia landing!

Only to slip and fall on your ass anyway!

Ice is slippery as hell, but this is just ridiculous! the floor feels like it got lobed up with oil and soap and like every product possible to make things super slippery! Your prone body continues moving ahead with zero slowdown as spikes oh so sharp looking spikes get ready to give you a hug.

Oh no no no! you must protect your personal space! With quick thinking and great agility, you harmlessly hit your head against the spikes with no damage since spikes only hurt from the pointy bits that are upwards on it, unless you literally jumped on it it wouldn’t be able to hurt you. (Those spikes are literal steel pointy bits stacked next to each other in rows of fives). Even so you're not ready for such intimacy!

But what was the point of installing them anyway? You don’t care and quickly get up as you continue your mad dash for the necessary nutrients of uh nice food in your belly? Yeah, speaking of good food..

There’s a fuzzball just ahead! It's smooth unaware ass is walking right and left back and forth, only changing directions once it gets close to the water while roaring in tune with the music playing.

You've already said that though? but even so the way it's showing off it's body is like begging to be eaten.
Like honestly, if someone shows you skin it's only normal you'd look at them that way.

And if it wants to be eaten that badly then who are you deny their wish? you are such a considerate gal!

Determined by this, you change your approach. Instead of pushing your feet off the ground and putting them a bit further ahead while doing the same with the other feet cause that’s how people normally walk you instead bend your knees, clench those feet and ass muscles, and jump on your stomach to slide forward! The energy behind the manoeuvre pushes you forward like a missile!

You use your feet and hands to change directions and the saw as an emergency brake slash destroyer of spikes and obstacles. (For those that are fairy brains: Just press the DOWN key and the SHOOT button together to SLIDE and the BOMB button to SAW down foes).

Can’t fall on your ass if you’re already on it! You outsmart the ice with flying colours and open your mouth like a shark ready to chomp down on your prey ahead! GET IN MY TUM TUM!

The poor fuzzy hairball doesn’t notice you and before it can let out a last cry, you’ve already caught it with your jaws and swallowed it whole! Its death was instantaneous! It tastes like warm butter covered in hair with a mild sugary aftertaste, not the best flavour but it’s better than nothing right now.

Instantly the atmosphere changes: All the fuzzballs, blue, white, or even green (You can see some now further away hidden in some…pipe thingies?) have stopped dancing and singing and all look at you with horror (°д°) in their faces. You smile at their reaction and in response they all continue staring with an intensity as big as that of a cat who wants to go outside but just looks at you all confused the moment you open the door for them even though they asked for it.

“What? If you don’t want to be eaten then don’t look so yummy~” you taunt their loss, did they seriously expect some fun platform adventure from you or something?

Naaaah~ One by one!

Whether by bite or claw!

Through being stomped on or crushed!

You’ll leave no survivors!

Let's doki doki commit unneccesary violence and coldblooded murder on the undeserving for the sake of sustenance and personal fun go!

All the ball things blink for a moment, look at each other and for a second you start to think that they might start to all unionize against you like the fairies did, except they don’t.

Instead, a few of them remove themselves from their positions and bounce slash hop their way further ahead for some reason, the rest look at you and go back to dancing and minding their own stuff. The music becomes even louder and now flutes join the track? Why though?

…. Okay? you’re not sure what that means but are you one to ignore a free slaughter?

Of course not! So, you continue your belly slide adventure of mass rampage! You jump by floating like a cheating cheater!

You dodge canons shot by blue fuzzballs!

Get set on fire by green fuzzballs with fireballs!

Jump into the water to stop being on fire!

Wrestle your way out of a monster fish’s jaws!

Use the big monster fish as a sled!

And finally eat the thing once it gets stuck on a bunch of spikes!

It was a good fish! Both in memory and taste! So, you continue your adventure in loving memory of it!

Finally, you platform yourself across platforms that go up and down.

Blocks that don’t appear until a switch has been hit.

Platforms that slowly sink while you’re still on it and many more as you slowly but surely make your way closer to the big chill big thing thingie stuff thing!

And you land on the last platform with everything behind you destroyed.

You are the god of destruction! an Angel of Death! Also a Vandalist!

Ooooh but Rumia! Someone worked oh so hard to make those things! They probably had to spend lots of time and effort designing the places before building it and stuff. Do you feel no regret in knowing you just destroyed someone’s hard work and sweat? Nah, that only makes it better~

You can’t wait to see the despair in their dumb fuzz face once they know what you did, and the anger that follows as you smile your smug smile at their kneeling in defeat position as they get up with like uh a vow to avenge their friends and families only to die by your hands.

If you’re lucky they might shout out a....


Dammit, why are your eyes moistening. You remember nothing like that!

That did not happen! what did not happen? not something! and even if something did happen you'll fix it soon anyway!

It's all going to be okay! this is going to be FUN! SO STOP THAT YOU LITTLE WIMP!

Anyway back to the big as in massive mountain made of ice, through which music is outright blasting now. Like seriously you can tell it’s loud since you could hear it all the way from the edge of the lake while you’re now in the middle of it.

It’s a big statue in the shape of someone you don’t know, nor can you really make sense of it since now you’re too close to get the bigger pictu-who cares?! There’s a bunch of ice statues with the figures of fuzzballs and crosses leading towards a large-no HUGE door made of ice.

You think that’s the entrance to like the inner sanctum of this place or some important place otherwise there wouldn’t be two small figures wearing armour on top of two BIG fuzzballs standing next to the door. No guard guards something has does not need to be guarded after all!

Also, a bunch of the earlier fuzzballs just went in so clearly those two guards are meant to prevent unwanted people from going in. (They talked to the guards, then the door opened vertically and they went inside before the door closed again. You’re not sure how it opened though).

But that’s not so important either, clearly you could kick just their asses if you wanted to!

After all you’ve gone through worse before all this, clearly, you’re unbeatable!

The most important thing is that thanks to all the fuzzball stuffed in your stomach your energy has come back! Rumia is back in the game baby! Ready to take over the worl-no even bigger than that! THE LAND! No even bigger than that! THE UNIVERSE! Uh, is there anything bigger than that?

Hold on a moment, you’re still digesting some stuf…. Okay you’re done.

But yeah, you’re back to 100%! Okay maybe 80%! 75% if you’re a pessimist!

Though you’re starting to have some freezing problems when you stop moving due to the intense cold that this place emanates. But it’s okay! The heat inside your heart will stop it!

As an unrelated thought, you start to remember that you DID forget something! You casually dumped both the Pale One, The Witch Girl and your good ol Wriggle Pal in one smooth move…

But that’s okay! It’ll make sense since it is all part of your amazing plan! A plan you’ve yet to figure out since this is the lake and not the mountain but still you believe in yourself!

Even the most meaningless action has meaning when you do it, cause you’re that awesome!

Even so that’s enough musing. You’ve got business inside this Ice Palace or whatever this joint is called like. You can see the door and the guards, but they can’t see you cause you’re INVINSIBLE!

As in you’re on the ground while a shadow ball surrounds you, clearly, they won’t be able to see you even though you’re just some distance away. Your stealth skills are wait for it…. pretty good!

But now it’s time to think of your approach, how will you go through this obstacle?

[ ] Being a cute little girl gives you a bonus on SPEAK STUFF, talk to the guards and get info and entry.
[ ] Being the incarnation of darkness makes you good at being STEALTH STUFF, be ninja.
[ ] Clearly, the only way to enter through is to just bust through the door like a meteor!
[ ] On second thought, what would this all accomplish? Go somewhere else.
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[X] Being a cute little girl gives you a bonus on SPEAK STUFF, talk to the guards and get info and entry.
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[x] Being a cute little girl gives you a bonus on SPEAK STUFF, talk to the guards and get info and entry.

We get in, we kill Elsa or something. Return to main questline.
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Ratatatata fairy
Of course, you’ll use the most powerful weapon in your disposal.

Not your strength, sure it’s decent but again that really doesn’t matter if everyone plays by the spell card rules. You think that’s important, so you elaborate it to yourself out loud for no reason.

So if an Anon has the smarts to declare a spell card battle, then you’d HAVE to play a danmaku match against them and regardless of win or loss you’d lose the right to kill them since yeah it be like that.

Luckily so far none of them have respected those rules so far, so the Hakurei Maiden won’t beat you up with her holy rod for being a naughty girl. How does she know these things anyway?

Is that her legendary intuition at play again? “I feel like I should beat this person up”? the thought of her casually appearing out of nowhere to deck you makes you shiver; the cold might be helping too.

There’s no shame in fearing her a bit, she’s a monster above all monsters after all!

Except for maybe the Sage and like the Flower Lady, but only those two.

But back to your most powerful weapon: Your cuteness!

Those little rumpy cheeks fit to pull on! that blond curly hair made for head pats!

Your vermillion red eyes! All of it is so adorable and you know it!

And with cuteness comes certain bonuses: The power to easily peasily move the heart of creatures to your own advantage. The foolish human or youkai would be too busy going NGHHHHH! after you give them a huggy wuggy that they won’t notice you’re running off with their chicken dinner!

Foolish mortals the lot of em! None of them can understand the true horror hidden within you! You may look like one, act like one and even think like one but you are a monster above all else!

And so, you turn off the darkness, get up from your hiding position and walk towards the entrance at a stealthy pace so they can’t hear you. Semi-crouched so they can’t see you either and end it with the exaggerated swagger of an edge lord in a trench coat, so they’ll be too busy looking at you in awe once you reveal yourself and grace them with your most charismatic display.

Well, you haven’t done it yet, but you will! And nothing can go wrong!

You take three steps “Alt! gi'o'a reet theear lahl lass!”and freeze the moment they point their weapons on you.

That could have gone better.

You’re not sure what kind of weapon the two guard are po-hold on a moment…you squint your eyes and take a better look.

The guards have blue dresses with white patters like ice shards and blond hairs that one can partly see through, this alone told you they were generic ice fairies the size of 10-year-olds.

Not a threat all then, in fact that news only emboldens you. They’re just a bunch of weak dumb dumbs that can be easily fooled into being le-oh hold on there’s more.

The two Fairies have tiny red helmets with an antenna on top and a capital A as the emblem on their heads, black peashooters are held in their hands (Using the fuzzball as support) as they point it at you? Oh, those are BIG guns, one for each one of them and all the bullets for you if you make a wrong move.

Not only that but they’re also on top of big red fuzzballs who looked like they could swallow a human whole in just one bite, drool is coming out of their mouths as they look at with hunger you so clearly these ones aren’t as indifferent slash friendly as the others.

Overall the fairies seemed armoured and loaded.

But still, they’re just fairies, what’s the worst they can do?

State thy business or be dubbed cringe!” one of them says some weird gibberish, her voice distorted into some odd mess? That’s definitely not the voice of a young girl.

'n mek it double or theear will be f`cking trouble!” the other one also speaks alien, but more like an alien who chain smoked for 10 years and has a plastic bottle for lungs.

For onny those 'anon' may pass this door!” both say at once.

“Uh…hello?” despite the strangeness your charisma is undisturbed “Can I be let in?” you ask nicely.

“Eur theur based, madlad or enny i' atwixt? dis place is eur sanctuary ta orl that’s f`cking 'oly. neya cringe ass neeur neeur babies may enta 'n defile it. So, whip art thou anon energy or be yeeted!” they repeat the words almost naturally, as if it was rehearsed if not robotically.

Their weapons are still aimed at you, not really polite of em.

Huh, looks like you won’t be able to enter after all. You’re not sure what they want, nor do you think you possess any of the proof needed to show you’re uh *Whatever they said*?

Better turn back and come back later then, not like a lake will go anywhere.

NOT! As if you’re one to give up so easily! You are the one and only Rumia!

The fact they won’t let you in only makes you want to enter even more!

Noone can stop the darkness, it can enter through any hole. So, you’ll use your hidden power.

That of bullshit! No fairy can see through your masterful deceptions! LET’S DO THIS!

You shrug and raise your shoulders in exasperation “What a bunch of morons you both are…” and say the words with such smugness and condescension it reminds you of some other people.

They don’t frown or respond to that in any way, seems taunting won’t work.

You continue with a dramatic hand gesture alongside a cocky smile on your face “Isn’t it obvious I’m based?!” Your words come off as very offended, like a lady who’s 3 sizes were asked for.

…. Again, they just stare stoically at you, they haven’t moved a single muscle since their last sentence.

Not even to blink mind you, they’re just staring at you while limp like a puppet.

…That’s odd, something is wrong here. You’ve never seen a fairy act this way.

Fairies are always ready for mischief, always willing to play and do not understand things like sadness or guilt. They’re all tiny sized children that are on a constant sugar rush!

They take the slightest insult as a challenge for a fight and aren’t afraid to do the dumbest of things so to see one act mature if not, undaunted by your amazing charisma is a true shocker.

“So, this is an anon thing then?” you ask filled with confusion, and overall wtf energy. “Are you even paid for this?” you continue asking with no real hope for a response.

They stop their creepy motionless deal and look back at you with life in their eye-scratch that you couldn’t see their faces with those helmets, and then both giggle like broken radios.

“W-what’s so funny?!” you say half creeped and half annoyed at this point.

“Your face!” and the left one bellows in laughter “That dumb look on your face!”

“Pff-ahaha! God, she really believed us! We were just messing around!” the right one joins in the let’s point our fingers at you and laugh their hearts out event.

They give each other a high five “You just got pranked!” and keep laughing as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.

…. Welp, it’s time for some fairies to die!

NOT! You stop yourself, now isn’t the time for that…. hold it in…. You can hurt them AFTER getting some info and easy entry “Hahaha, you sure got me good!” you fake good humour instead.

“Why are you laughing? Don’t you get we’re making fun of you?” left bitch asks with a frown.

“Ah lay it down, she can’t help being born stupid! It’s like a whole ge-uh-enisomething thing! The dumbness is already in her blood so she can’t help it!” and right bitch makes it worse.

“Ah, I’m sorry then…sorry you’re so dumb stupid!” she replies with fake pity

Again you could easily put them out of commission.

But you don’t know how to open the door and don’t want to bother bashing it down.

Let no one say you’ve never been patient in your life. “…Can I enter now?”

“No!” the left fairy says with a radiant smile, “Idiots can’t enter! And you owe us candy Rumia!”.

The right one gains a glimmer of recognition in her eyes “Oi, is she that candy thief?! She seriously thought she could pull the wool on us and not get her karma right back huh?!”

Ah, so it wasn’t Cirno you ripped off. It was those two…or three?

You don’t remember or care, they’re just fairies anyway. The immortal rats of the sky.

And in your defence most fairies look the same to you and it’s not like they actually need food unlike you, besides that was a long time ago! It was yesterday besides holding grudges is just petty so they’re the bad guys!

“Uh, I’m not Rumia” you say with intense confidence “Rumia doesn’t have a saw hand now does she? And besides…if I were her would I really be dumb enough to meet the exact people I’ve ripped off without remembering them like some psycho? The odds are very unlikely. You are wrong”.

The left fairy squints her eyes at you, or you think she does “Oh yeah? Then who are you stranger?”

“I’m uuuh-“ You look around the area quickly for some reference “Misty Water? My friends call me Misty!” and stare straight into her eyes or well helmet.

The fairy’s wings flutter in anger and you can tell she’s about to call you out. “You little-“

But the right one’s eyes gain a glimmer of mischief, do she gets closer to the left one and whispers something in her ear.

You wait patiently, and don’t have murderous thoughts while doing so.

You do not imagine stamping on the fairies like they’re bugs.

Or putting them in a glass bottle to trap them forever.

No, your head is filled with wholesome respect for everyone! definitely!

After a few more seconds, both separate from each other and look at you with a smug grin.

“The counsel has decided to re-examine your wish for entry! Even though you’re covered in blood, dressed unseemly and clearly a stupid brain. You get another chance!” left trash sarcastically claps her hands in joy.

The Right one continues “You must pass a trial, three special questions we shall ask you, answer correctly and you shall pass” and hints of well shenanigans can be heard from her voice.

“Fail to answer correctly and you shall walk the walk of shame and never return!” left one finishes.

“Are you in or are you out? We understand if you’re scared so think deeply about it!” both mock you as they end the announcement and go into a giggling fit again.

[ ] Patience…PATIENCE, it’s just 3 questions, right?
[ ] Time to whoop some fairy ass!
[ ] Screw this, you’re out of here!
[ ] Do something else or say something (Write in).

Note: The colour function shows no difference in previews, so if something is wrong that's still my bad.
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[X] Answer the 3 questions.
[X] Threaten them into letting you enter if it turns out to be another prank.
[X] Wonder why fairies have beef against you.

Is it just me or is Rumia an asshole towards fairies or are fairies just jerks?

I feel a history here, not that I mind but Dai and Cirno won't be proud if they learn of your feyism.
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[x] Screw this, you’re out of here!

Alright, hear me out. This is probably a boss dungeon. We are attempting to enter the boss dungeon solo with no items. This does not seem like a good idea to me.
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(This should be a short update anyway, the next one as in after this one should be more important).

Your red eyes stare into those of the fairies with a fire inside them, that of Pure Anger.

They stare back at you, lips raised up in joy and hands on their side to look bigger. Pure Smug.

You inhale deeply…and let out your spite as hot air, hot air that disappears into the cold sky but does not lower the loathsomeness you feel towards their wretched kin.

Even so you do not provoke them, your curiosity bigger than anything else right now.

“G-go ahead, I’m in baby” you reply to confirm their game, “It’ll be super duper easy~” you declare with your arms outstretched and a confident smile on your face.

Their faces reach a level of mischief you thought impossible “Reeaaallly? They’re super hard! Super difficult!
And so complex that only the smartest fairy can solve them!” they giggle again at the end.

You sigh and nod one last time “Those mean the same things, and the smartest fairy you say? That’s quite a low bar you set for me~” you do not say that sentence, instead you stay silent.

The moment they reveal the oh so dastardly drivelling drabblewazzers your anger peaks.

Those questions aren’t hard, they are humiliating! They intend for you to shame yourself!

Fricking Fairies, always out to mess with you. Always out to be a nuisance. They’re the worst.

Behind their cute appearance and simple brains lies a devilish spirit, that of an immortal entity who knows their actions have no real consequences behind them and who’s sense of morality can be translated as the sentence “What should be fun to do now?” or “It’s what my character would do”. ‘

There was a time when you didn’t know this truth, even a time you called yourself their friend.

You know better now, but not many believe it when you recall it.

For you see there’s a real appeal they have, that of childhood innocence and fun games like playing pranks on people or simple games like hide and seek. Surely that should be a fun time?

Well one special case of hide and seek turned out to be quite different! Very unpleasant even!

As usual you were wandering around aimlessly, soaring through the air with no destination in mind other than the journey. That feeling of freedom in flying through the skies of Gensokyo is one you simply cannot get ri-oh you’re rambling now!

Let’s go back to the main subject!

So, hide and chase! It’s a game in which one person seeks and the other hide and if they’re found they have to run or be eaten! But not really eaten. Easy to understand. You should try it.

Anyway, were doing just that with some fairies at the plains nearby the human village alongside some children. They’re not that important but they joined rarely. With supervision of course.

All in all, it was a good time, whether you went after them while going “Raah ima eat ya!” or hid in some shade covered bushes you always felt such a rush of excitement in doing so. It was a feeling different to that of uh trying to chase someone for the munchies, you can’t really describe it.

So, one day it was your turn to hide and so you did! You chose the most amazing spot you could think off and with a brazen step something was set off and an intense pain overcame your leg. As if a whole bunch of needles attached themselves to your skin while it also set on fire.

It was clenched stuck between some metal jaw covered in cheap seals. Like the ones they make in the village for hunting prey while making sure youkai won’t just steal them. It’s a clam jamp?

Whatever the name is, it hurted a lot. You couldn’t remove it yourself because of the seal and was reduced to the pitiful state of crying and shouting for help…but no one came.

Literally no one came for 3 days straight, you’re not sure why that is. You KNEW the place was filled with fairies…or think so but the fact none of them bothered to help you out or even realized or even looked for you during that whole time said a lot about them.

You were not friends; you were not even an acquaintance. They did not even remember you after the whole thing. THE BASTARDS!!

“What is this fricking racket? To think I have to investigate this just cause people get scared…” someone finally heard your cries!

Lo and behold there wanders the Hakurei Maiden, whether it was destiny or pure coincidence you did not know but the fact remained that she floated right above and came flying down.

With her immense wisdom she saw your dilemma and with her immense mercy she aided you.

By shoving her balls in your mouth “SHUT UP ALREADY!” and who were you to refuse?

Though that was hard to do since her balls were in the way, you couldn't breathe let alone talk with them in.

So, you did the next best thing, choke on them while trying to talk “Mwahaohwhowho?” the balls were hard and cold but also burned your throat, so you had to complain even louder!

Realizing her error, the maiden removed them and sighed “Ugh, this is already becoming the worst” and then actually looked at you “So why have you been screaming like a dying cow fo-ah”

She stopped cause your foot told all the story she needed to know. “Well, why didn’t you say so?”.

She was a weird jokester, but eventually she gave you the greatest gift of all. One you can’t compare to anything else and has become part of your memories to this dearest day.

She took out an ofuda and covered it on your mouth so you could no longer scream.

“If you got stuck on it, then stop whining and get out of it yourself already” then she left "Bunch of babies..."

Actually she did not say that she just left but you can feel that was the meaning behind it.

At first you were confused by this manoeuvre, enraged even! But later, after you managed to remove the damn thing by yourself somehow with the power of pure SPITE.

You realized she gave you the greatest gift of all. The help no one could have given had they helped you.

A life lesson: To not rely on others to help you but for you to help yourself! How dare you fall to a human contraption! Are you not the fear of humanity incarnate?! ARE YOU NOT RUMIA?!

She gave you the power to believe in yourself! The power to do things your way!

From that day on, she owned your respect and you made sure to inform her of the decision that she is now your bestest and favoritest human of all humans but not taste wise cause that’s weird.

“I don’t care, now get out I’m busy” was her response. Even so you still see her as a pal.

In short: Friendship ended with Fairies; The Hakurei Maiden is your new bro now.

Seriously fairies can suck it! A few of them messed with you so clearly all of them are responsible!

Except for Dai and Cirno, they are one of the few good fairies out there.

Wait what were you doing again? Oh yeah you were super offended by these two’s questions!

As if you’d answer such nonsense! They simply intent to dishonour you!

You can easily fight your way through this whole place if need be! After all you’re Rumia!

You are SO tempted to just beat them up and call it a day. Your hands are shaking, manly tears are threatening to come out and the place feels a lot hotter now, if anyone saw you, they’d think you’re commit about a murder.

But see the funny thing is it wouldn't be a murder at all, because of one neat simple fact:

Fairy lives don’t matter!

(Occ: The questions were:

What are the most amazing creatures, surpassing all lifeforms in forms and function?

Who out of the 3 of us is the weakest, dumbest, ugliest little cringe baby?

Compared to all of us you are nothing but a ?

[ ] C-calm, WASH AWAY THE ANGER! You are above them! Feeling anger towards something so inferior is beneath you! You are not mad, you are NOT mad! YOU ARE NOT MAD! (Answer the questions).
[ ] Make some fairy stew, beat them up. Break down that door and let hell loose. It’s okay. They deserve it after all and besides aren’t you doing the world a favour? Yeah, let’s go with that.
[ ] That’s it, you’re out. You will NOT spend one more minute with one of these fairies! You could be doing so many things right now but here you are letting them talk over you!? SCREW THIS!!

(And to answer that one question, it's quite simple: Ever since then Rumia has been treating them like they're evil gnomes, raiding their houses for candies only to sell it back for dumb favours so she can feel superior.

Murking them on sight if they get close to her secret base and overall being a ass towards em, some of them actually remember that behavoir hence they're quite eager to think the worst of you.
Fairy Faction: Unfriendly You can fix that if you want, but it'd think some effort or like a certain green haired someone's help.

Also yeah this is kind of a dungeon if you use those terms, I'm not going to encourage or discourage you entering it but you can trust your own instincts on this. So if you want a party and items then go seek them and come back later though there's no garantee nothing has changed by then).
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"Humans because they are delicious. Me because I'm still alive to be stupid. Last youkai standing."
[X] That’s it, you’re out. You will NOT spend one more minute with one of these fairies! You could be doing so many things right now but here you are letting them talk over you!? SCREW THIS!!
I've retrieved the dragonstone enough times for several lifetimes thanks, lets go join the thieves guild or something instead.
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Aye Im out of here
Location: Misty Lake ; Time: Noon.

No, that’s enough! You can’t let them disrespect you any longer!

You are the antithesis of light!

The enemy of the one that shines brightly in the sky!

Feared by all children who look under their bed or try to cross a dark tunnel!

The Demon of Darkness!

Who are they compared to you? What is a fairy?

They are nothing more than a miserable piece of stupidity!

Their brain deadness reinforced by the fact they cannot die and do not fear pain.

How dare these weaklings not know their place? Nothing is more annoying than someone who suffers from delusions of grandeur.

Like the unpopular thinking they’re famous.

Or the weak thinking they’re big shots.

Their rejection of reality is nothing short of pathetic, PATHETIC!

Yes, you’re the bigger man here.

So, calm down and don’t let them get to you.

Be at peace, are you not free like the wind? Are you not Rumia?

“K-OOOOooooooh” you let out a deep breath and with your hatred flies away.

A smug smile and a confident gleam in your eyes comes on your face as you face the fairies “Enough childish games, I’d oh so love to entertain you children some more but I’m afraid I’ve got business to tend to” you turn around “Grown up business, unlike you flat chested, flat brained bunch of flat bozos

The fairies flinch and twitch at your teasing and their mouth’s drop opens like a walnut, they didn’t expect the sudden attitude change, but you don’t give them time to recover.

You jump and activate a spell card!

Moon Sign: Moonlight Ray! : Your trusty spell card creates a twin streams of blue lasers! ones that instantly pierce the fey’s skulls and makes them explode into clusters of dust! PICHUN~

The knockback makes you go well be knocked back at a rapid speed, the sensation of freezing ice comes again to inflict their anti-air nonsense and the monstrous fishes under the water remark your presence and want to turn you into yum yums! Except it’s no use!

By the time either of em can reach you, you’ve already been sent back to the edge of the lake.

You come out of the mist and can see the lake again in its blue glory.

Then the green grass in front of the lake, and then the brown trees in front of the-oh you’re still going backwards!

You try to turn around and wince as a tree gets smashed into a pulp by the fast velocity impact that is your body! Damn trees waited for the perfect time to strike! It may have broken your nose…

But you’re not one to complain, you regain full control over your flight or well…most of it, the surroundings are once again blurry and lots of wind is being sent to your face.

That’s the consequence of high-speed flight but you know that sooner or later you can master the need for speed, even though you don’t really need it. Your normal flight speed is decent as well.

Anyway, having to concentrate on not smashing against objects or people aside. That visit didn’t seem as useless as uh…. you don’t remember anything that’s useless.

For once, even though it’s not that rare. You think seriously about what you learned.

What was the whole Ice Fortress deal anyway? You know fairies are willing to work together for a greater prank but to make something that big alongside the whole platform thing requires a sense of organization that’s beyond any of those dead brains.

Is someone leading them perhaps? there's no way this is a simple prank right?

Probably, the closest thing you’ve seen to fairies being organized would be at the Red Devil Mansion with like the fairy maids. Is this perhaps a project of the Vampire then? Some big fancy surprise?

Wait, they did mention some weird words…and did say Anon so maybe it’s an Anon Project?

It makes you wonder what’s Dai up to, without her presence stuff already got weird there huh.
She's the boss of the lake fairies if you recall, if not a big shot among fairies too.

You continue thinking for a while as you wait for the spell card to run out (Simply flying around in circles) and come to two conclusions: Inform Reimu or Dai about it if you got time since it’s not your lake so it’s not your problem unless you want to make it exactly that.

…Speaking of Reimu and Dai, perhaps you should get some companions?

All these thoughts and effort are starting to be bothersome on your own.

Well not really bothersome but annoying? There's a word for it but it's on the tip of your tongue!

...You can't find it, let's continue anyway with the idea: Why get companions?

You got no one to share ideas with or get opinions from. You’re not much of a thinker.

Or people to like grow closer to and uh stuff? You’re not much of a social butterfly.

Or they could take hits for you! Show their devotion to the cause by falling in your stead!

Then you all together overcome trails that one can’t do on their own with the power of friendship!

Cause that’s how it works in fiction right? That’s how most heroe-hold on a moment!

That’s wrong! That’s completely wrong! That’s NOT how people do it here!

If there’s an incident, the resolvers simply go to random places and beat up unrelated people until eventually they somehow manage to get it right! That’s how our heroes do it!

So, if you want to defeat Anon...then you must beat up everyone you meet! It’s so simple!

Then again, you’re not really a hero, villains are much cooler now, aren’t they?

Yeah, there's something about wearing a dark cape while sipping red wine on a throne of skulls that just feels immensely better than being some red haired farmer punk with an idealistic dream.

Yes...YEEEEESSSS! You’re the bad guy after all!

You’re going to become the extra no THE EXTRA EXTRA SUPER FINAL BOSS!

You’ll become the Ultimate Rumia!

The Super Youkai! NO! The DEMON LORD!

SHE WHO CREATES AN ETERNAL NIGHT BY EATING TH-oh hold on you're getting too excited.

Breathe in........and breathe out.

Okay, your heart is back to normal.

Can't get an cardiac arrest on your own awesomness now!

So if you become a villain then no one will mess with your pals again!

And you can slack off forever in a dark fortress!

Maybe even kidnap some sexy maiden and dangle on a cage above a pool of lava!

But only if she's old enough for that! It'd be super weird if you kidnapped a baby!

Wait that doesn't make sense! Babies aren't sexy now are they?

Actually wait, do NOT answer that question, pretend this never happened.

This did not happen, the end.

But there’s still one problem: The newspaper said there’s some Saw Maniac running around, but you’ve got a saw too so that can only mean one thing: There’s an impostor cramping your style!

And we can’t have that, that’s the biggest damper anyone could put on you!

For you see FEAR brings POWER! The more FEARED someone is the STRONGER they become!

You learned this against your consent, you did not consent to any sort of education!

...You look around to make sure no Teach Cow heard that, you'll never forget...

All those hours...those boring talks, that mind numbing homework.

School is evil incarnate, it's an evil you wouldn't wish on anyone.

You’re the SECOND SCARIEST concept known to mankind, yet you don’t feel STRONG at all!


How can that be?! Simple! Someone is stealing the fear that’s meant for you!

So, if you beat up the fear thief then perhaps you could regain that power and create even more incidents for more power ad and infinitum!

Uuh hold on a moment, you’re getting confused.

Let’s do it like math, everyone knows math:

Make Incident= Create Fear slash Reputation.
The more Fear or Rep someone has the stronger they become.

So, more incidents on your belt= More people fear you= You’ll become much stronger!

You stop and land on the ground so you can kneel in amazement. Rumia...you are a GENUIS!

With the path of ultimate power revealed, no one will be able to stop you! You’ll defeat Anon by becoming more fearsome than them! And after all the anons are gone you’ll! You’ll!


Go back to your peaceful life? You wouldn’t mind that if Wriggle comes back to life then.

If not, you’ll go and uh wipe out the forces off anon! and then…take over the world?

Nah, that sounds troublesome…. you’ll invade the world of Anon instead!

YES! YES! Did they think they could just come here, mess with you, go home and call it day? OF COURSE NOT! You’ll find out where they live and plunge their world into the deepest darkness!

But you're merciful, except not. You''ll make the Teach Cow give them homework too!

Anon will forever rue the day they messed with you! By living in a dark void forever while going through an endless hell!

MWIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI! You laugh the evillest laugh in respon-your skin is burning red!

Ow! Ow! Ow! The noon sun is shining brightly, and your entire body is exposed to it!

LET DARKNESS REIGN! AND LIGHT VANISH FROM THIS WORLD! You cover yourself in darkness once more!

Tsk. You were careless there, just because the morning sun is a mild pain to the eyes doesn’t mean you can take any stronger heats than that.

There’s a ;imit on how much you can take and your sore skin proves the sun just surpassed it.

The only person weaker to sunlight would be vampires and those who specifically die to exposure of it…. well, you wouldn’t die. But the sun does burn you and makes you feel nauseous if you’re exposed too long to it so it’s best to always stay in dark areas.

Moonlight doesn’t count but the New Moon does make you powerless as an addendum.

You don’t know nor do you care to know why, either way you’ve been thinking too much now.

It's action time! talking and thinking is boring so go and be an monster!

You get up and dust yourself off, clean some of the blood of your body and don’t worry about your clothes since if no one can see you then dress code doesn’t matter in the slightest.

Now Lord of Darkness, where shall you go to now? Who will be blessed or cursed by your amazing presence? What situation will you go clear up or make worse? Are you a hero or villain?

Go out and find out!

World Map Theme Plays: https://youtu.be/ya8EZeowec0

[ ] To the Mountains above! to the Domains of the Gods! And anything that lies in your way!
[ ] To the Forest of the Lost! To the Mansion of Eternity! And anyone who stands in your way!
[ ] To the Shrine of Demons! To the Hakurei Barrier! And uh actually just the former!
[ ] To the Shop of Curiosities! To the Magic Forest! Doesn’t hurt to visit again!
[ ] To the Scarlet Devil Mansion! To the Temple of Youkais! Or any place that isn’t the above!
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When a woman acquires a certain age
And the men who adored you no longer swoon
It pays to avoid the sunlit days
And live by the light of the kindly moon
But the moon grows old just like us all
And her beautiful years are done
So now she prays through endless days
To take her revenge on the sun

[X]Maybe if we nag someone at the Myouren Temple they'll teach us something more useful than just prayers. I was gonna vote Eientei but monks are way more montagey. That's a word now.
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File 163554549047.png - (200.47KB, 1040x760, rumia_by_isu.png)
You know... let's prop open the demon core with a screwdriver. It's time to go blitz wild. New goal: start an incident, easiest to do by cloaking Gensokyo in darkness.
Can be accomplished with:
-Advice of that godly voice that decided to go buy milk ten updates ago.
-Releasing full power (assuming that it's ex Rumi just being pissed as she's sealed).
-A good hiding spot to make sure the resolvers run around beating up a majority of Anon for us.
-A bat that ensures we won't die after, so we can hunt the remaining quarry.

[x] To the Scarlet Mansion. The originator of the classic incident!

Writefag I'm sorry to derail with this quite a bit, but this idea sounded too interesting for me to pass bringing to the table. My thought process is that with the amount of people that go to resolve incidents, any tangential incident would also be resolved in the process by proxy. We just need a way to not die and clean up afterward.

Yay? Nay?
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Chainsaw Rumia ex...
Cant agree on the SDM though. The SDM is for nerds.
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You can certainly try.

I'd say more but I'm on my phone rn.

All votes are valid, so if someone else votes the same vote as you (making it the majority) then it'll be SDM time.

If it's a tie then I'll a dice between the votes made.
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Update coming in a moment
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Rumia needs a coinflip
You fly swift like the night!

And gentle like a swan~

The smooth white clouds are in the reach of your hands, bringing you inner comfort.

The gentle trees flutter like a sea below, their view bringing you inner peace.

Flying in the forest, without a care in the world and no responsibilities to worry about.

There is no greater feeling than this! It’s better than even eating!

With your head clear of doubt and your heart truly at ease!

You shall head to your next destination without fail!
Once you know where that is! You’ve been flying around aimlessly for a bit now heh.

Let’s correct that, you think about where to go…and get bored of that!

What’s the point of thinking anyway? Your destiny shall guide to where you need to be!

Indeed, so instead of thinking about where you’ll go. Let’s think about who you shall seek aid from!

Wait no, people are at locations. So if you think about someone helping you then you’re also thinking about where they are and then you have to factor in their location!

Making your aimless wandering into an aimful wandering and if it’s aimful then it is not aimless because those are opposites! You almost fooled yourself there!

Let’s just pick a general direction and go!

Wait…picking a direction is the same as making an decision on where to go, therefore no matter where you go it is not aimless but instead it is less aimed than what’s the norm of aimliness.
What’s the point of the word aimless then?! It isn’t real then who’s the moron t-

GIANT CRAB! There is a GIANT CRAB just below you! It’s standing next to some trees with her CRABBY claws crabbing all around the innocent leaves with crabby intent! That’s very Crabsome!

Being a crab is illegal! this is an oriental land not the sea you fool! LEAVE THE TREES ALONE!

The trees are in danger! Are you a bad enough girl to save them?!

Of course you are! You are the Youkai of Dusk! Ruler of the Shades! The Sinister Gibbon!

You remember the secret technique Wriggle taught you, though it is forbidden and shouldn’t be used recklessly…you can’t possibly let an innocent tree be harmed! Even so…the cost might be too great.

At that exact moment her words resonate to you: “The foot on your leg! It is a stamp to mark it down! The footsteps to save this world! Now make me some Mochi you baka!” and she is right!

How dare you try to run away! How dare you try to give up! If you cannot defeat a crab then how will you ever hope to beat Anon?! How can you protect your own dreams if you can’t protect those of others!
Will you give up and bring the forest despair?



The legacy of the Ultimate Kick has carried on throughout the era.

Though Wriggle has failed to make you master the move. She's currently dealing with an unfurtonate illness

Her will and spirit lives within your heart!

Rejoice! For the Birth of a New Hero!

The Kick that will save this world!

雌犬を蹴る III!: Hawk Claw Comet Kick

Energy gathers around your feet, though they’re nothing more but basic danmaku and shadows being enlaced around them you can feel them strengthen.
You raise your arms above your shoulders like they’re arrows of light and straighten out your legs as you start to dive with insane speed towards the crab! You get closer and closer! The back of the crab’s head just in sight!

You unleash your amazing technique!

/roll d20==> 1!

And lose balance in mid-air due to your arm!

Oh no no no! It’s too heavy! The saw arm is too big and clumsy for you to do a move that requires finesse and precision and the combination of the moment carried from traveling at a certain distance at a certain velocity and dammit you’re talking too much! ACT OR GET YOUR HEAD SPLAT!

A moment flashes into your head, and a flash of genius is born within you!

The saw is BIG, the saw is HEAVY, it is a better KICK than your meek legs!

“Wriggle, give me strength! With my every power, with all of my heart.

I DEDICATE THIS KICK TO YOUUUUUUUUU!” You close your eyes and unleash it!

The Saw lets out a cry of steel as a shine of crimson shines from it!

No description can describe the feeling of power emanating from your hand!

Rejoice! The Kick of the Demon King that shall defeat the Crab King!

All of your love and all of your hatred! The power of the two mix into the power of four!

Garr? Anon? Those words mean nothing! this is true power! the power of BASED!


雌犬を蹴る IV: Heavenly Slashing Moonlight Saw KIIIIIIIIICK!

/roll d20==> 1!

You fail the attack roll and miss, your attack hits the ground instead.

You decide to roll against the ground too!

/roll d20 ==> 20!

/roll 4d8+12+3 ==> 47!

But you max out your damage roll and the blow creates a powerful shockwave, the likes of which can only be rivalled by earthquakes!

Not being braced for the sudden attack, the crab king gets launched into the air like a coin!

"Wha-Hyaaaaaaa!" sounding a lot like a confused girl, the crab continues her ascension "That's not a kiiiiii-" and dissapears into the freaking milky way!

Contract Complete!

You lie inside a crater, the plants nearby you blown away.

Manly tears pour out as you get up do the standard victory pose.

You did it, you saved the forest!

Wriggle....were you watching me?

(Music stops).

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHINY! Something shiny is in the sky!

Did the Crab King drop loooot?! Something is falling down from the sky! Cause that's how gravity works!

It's a single golden coin, and it lands on Coin flip: tails!

You pick it up, content with the loot.

And head off once more, to meet new lands, new allies and new foes.

Just you wait Anon, this ain't over yet!

update 1 of 2

Note: I'll post the rest tommorow, a normal coinflip kind of bores me.

Now, you anons got genuine good ideas.

Each of them is certainly possible even if some are way harder then others.

But as long as you stay determined and onpoint.

Let noone say nothing is imposssible, just try it out and believe in yourself!
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So my guess is that it's the SDM, sadly. Still, suppose we can always one up the vampire, she drinks blood? We drink bat soup.
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I believe in the Rumia that believes in her!
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A gatekeep keeps the gate
You soar once more, flickering like the wind.

Well, you’ve been flying this whole time.

It’s like the standard way to move, everyone and their mom can fly.

So why even bother saying that out loud? It’s not special at all.

That makes no sense, you said you were soaring then you say you are flying…

But both mean the same thing! You’re conjugating yourself! Stupid grammar!

Ugh, you’re starting to resent having this useless info in your head
What’s the point of knowing what’s a past tense is.

Or that 1+1=2 if you’re never going to use it?

Something that isn’t used may as well not be there!

You don’t care about rules! In fact, you have never followed a rule in your life!
That is your rule! Wait does that make sense? You're not sure and don't want to be made fun off.

Speaking of something being there, you see the Crimson Palace just ahead!

It’s like a place that’s a building. A building which is red cause someone painted the place re-no that’s wrong! It’s got red bricks you think! But only on the roof! Most of the rest is like a beautiful brown brick wall, and a colourful garden that’s got uh plenty of…colours?

It doesn’t matter! What does matter is that you have to go stick your landing!

You lower your pace, rotate your body upright and slowly descend to the ground. You make sure that you stop just a distance away from the large metal gate so you can greet a certain someone!

The Gatekeeper, that red haired, green wearing lady is leaning against the wall near the gate while reading some picture book or something that she likes, she’s not paying attention to you and the gate lies wide open.

You could probably just sneak in with your amazing stealth abilities.

After all you're invisible when you can't see her, hold on you close your eyes.

Okay you can't see her now, so that means she can't see you either!

You are such a genuis! Behold the power of the...you're running out of cool things to say.

Anyway you could walk up to her all casually too and face the hardest trail of all: Socialize.

Not to say she’s mean or anything, she’s taught you something called Tai Chi so you can comfortably nap in any position no matter where you are alongside lending some of those books she likes to you.

Not that you care for those, they’re super confusing since a lot of stuff happens at the same time while you haven’t figured out if you’re supposed to read them left to right or right to left.

It’s different with each book she got! it’s TOTAL ANARCHY! So, you’ve already returned em.

If you had to give like critique then uuuh: The ones in which in some nobody somehow manages to get a whole bunch of cute girls around them were the most bleh to read, the way the guy just gets to suffer and suffer while the girls freeload is quite funny to you though. But really get some real balls and just choose one person already! Or at the least establish dominance! Those who don’t do so don’t get to complain when others treat them like they’re little walnuts. Because they are one!

But the most fun stories are like the ones in which the hero gets chased or haunted by some monster, only to end up eaten or turn into something worse by the end. You love it even more when it gets gory cause it looks so yummy looking! Seriously those monsters are your idols!

Oh, and she’s also given you some food in exchange for special favours.

But no one needs to know that it’s a secret that you’ll take to the grave.

Honestly the real hard part is that right now, you’re uh…kind of in a weird mood?

Sometimes you feel like you’re on the top of the world, and other times you just want to lie down and do nothing for several hours. It’s almost like you smoked a funny mushroom…but that’s good!

After all you’re Rumia! And nothing can stop you!

But Gatekeeper is a perceptive gal, you don’t want to talk about DUMB stuff like your feelings or something STUPID like what the Four Eyed Rin was talking about. Also, she said Ara Ara~ once like a joke and it was just the weirdest vibe ever, even if she promised to never say it again that kind of memory doesn't go away.

Hold on a moment, there’s like a signboard right next to her too.
But you can’t read it at this distance, you wonder what it says.

Wait why are you here anyway? What are you loo-THINKING IS FOR NERDS!

And Nerds get used as Cudgels! Do you want to be a Cudgel? Exactly!

Just trust your instincts and all will be fine! that's how fate works! nothing can go wrong!

Anyway, it’s time for another decision! Will you approach like a normal person or become the night?!

[ ] Go say hi, it’s only polite! (What kind of approach will you take?)
[ ] Sneak like the shadow you are! (How will you sneak in?)
[ ] Forget subtlety! Just dash in! (Like running? Flying? Moonlight Ray?)
[ ] Some other grand strategy! (The good old write in option).

I hope you’re enjoying your weekend.
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[X]Embrace the mood, it is enlightment.
[X] Approach Gatekeeper casually.
[X] "Ever since the absence of god, there's been a vacancy open. I intend to fill that void! Join me and find out how~" Give her the honor of joining your party and if she says no then pout.

We need our own stagebosses if we want to create an incident!

Dai can be the stage 1 and someone else the stage 2
It's the way gensokyians do!
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I can second on this plan.

Recruit everyone time!
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[X]Embrace the mood, it is enlightment.
[X] Approach Gatekeeper casually.
[X] "Once in every maggot's life their country shall call upon them! And their country shall ask of them to do no less that their duty to their country and to take the fight to those who would wish it harm! Are you ready to serve your country maggot~!?" Give her the honor of joining your party and if she says no then pout.
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Meiling chilling
You are now Meiling. Barely a few seconds before your special encounter with a certain someone.

It is a Sunday right now, and Sundays are the best days! After all, it’s one of the few times you get to be off shift!

So it’s like a weekly vacation, even if you don’t leave the premise often.

Which you don’t really need to, since other than buying some basic supplies in the village or training at some mountains once in a while to stay fit. Life is good~

Right now, you’re enjoying yourself while reading some self-published print works made by a fan of two different franchises who let their love make them meet in fiction…and battle it out

Some Monkey Warrior coming from a planet of warriors is facing off against a Man who is empowered by the sun itself, coincidentally their origin story is almost the same too.

But that’s not relevant right now, I mean it is a good story so far but we’re not here to watch you read some amazing encounter while secretly wishing you could face them yourself.

Nah, the real important thing is…you’ve got DOUBLE Vacation!

As for why, you’re not sure. The Mistress is expecting lots of guests to arrive today but how she knew is something she did not share with you.

Either way when she wants people to enter and hasn’t made a clear filter on who to NOT let in…
You keeping intruders out isn’t really needed, so you’re free to do whatever for 48 hours or until the Mistress calls for your aid again once the situation inevitably escalates somehow.

And BOY are you going to use that opportunity for some FUN!

Once you figure out where to go that is…you’re not sure what to do with all this free time but you feel like staying home and just doing nothing overall would be kind of a waste.

Maybe you should go visit that Hermit on the mountain? You could have some awesome martial art journey in which you face against Gensokyo’s strongest kung fu fighters! Or just chill in the village with some more books and flavoured drinks that are so famous now…or something even bigger?

To travel around the map, defeating foes that grow in strength while tasting each place’s special delicacies. Now that would be one hell of a journey! You can already see and taste the image too~

Wait, what about the garden though? And the younger mistress? Won’t both get lonely?

Naaaaaaaaaah, the newbie can take care of the Garden and Flandre is about to receive lots of potential playmates anyway. Though the former sure is rising through the ranks quickly…

Anyway! You should close your book and go off to adventure!

Like right now!

Right now! It’s now or never!


Darn, this wall is just soooo coomfy~ the way the sun’s shine makes it warmer than usual just sends some nice messages to your back, and you’re genuinely invested in the battle so far.

Maybe you’ll go later, it’s not like you’re in a LET DARKNESS REIGNI! Wait who-
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Ah and I was just having fun reading
It’s dark, so dark you can’t even see through it. Which shouldn’t be possible since you’ve got night vision stacked in your bunch of amazing abilities. You’re super versatile like that.


It’s cold too now that you think about it, even heat itself is gone. As if no life can be within this zone.

Which is a shame really cause if it’s dark like this then you can’t possibly enjoy the sun now can you?

Though, to be honest…this darkness is comfy in its own way. It makes you sleepy.

“Knock Knock~” a voice says coming from deeper within, and a small giggle follows.

“Who’s there?” you reply back and fight away the urge to yawn.

“Boo~ Boo! B-O-O” the voice replies with a different voice for each response.

“Boo who?” you think that’s how the joke goes and say that back since that’s only the proper thing to do, let no one say that Hong Meiling is rude or inconsiderate.

“……” no response comes and why does it seem like it’s getting br-
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What are you talking about
“Sad? So Sad indeed” the darkness becomes more tolerable and some light shines once more “Little bell~ tiny bell~” and the face of a young girl is staring into yours with a grin. “Why do you weep?”.

“Hmm” On closer look she seems familiar, that red ribbon on her head, those sharp rows of teeth and that almost kind of weird gleam in her eyes “Is that your young mistress?” you ask.

“Mistress?” she pauses for a moment with her smile fixed in place and starts mumbling something under her breath while not seeming entirely aware of your presence. “Is that so~ Is that so?”

Wait never mind it can’t be her, she’s in the basement after all “Are you uh Alice then?” you ask again while putting down the book and making yourself comf-oh wait she’s too close for comfort.

“How cruel, how terrible!” She doesn’t answer your question and looks down heartbroken “You are trapped, chained down, locked away in a cage inside a prison with no wall or door nor a ceiling or a floor” then giggles again as her crimson eyes are emphasized in the dark “Fear not, I am here now!”

Okay, you know what. Neither Flandre nor Alice talk like that, so that leaves only one person “Cut the nonsense Marisa, if you think you can trick me to get past you’re wrong” you gently push her away but stop once your hand is on her head, that soft sensation, such playful hair. The NGGHHH you feel!

This can be the head of only one person!

“Ah hiya Rumia~ It’s been a while since you last came, how can good old me help you?” and you ruffle her head.

She gigles at the touch “Au contraire! I’m here to help you instead! Right about…now! Sit Scriptor Lusibus!”


Suddenly Music can be heard out of nowhere, as some of the light gets concentrated on her form as if she’s on a dance floor “In the most casual way possible, dance!”

She immediately starts dancing casually on casual music for a casual atmosphere “Ever since the absence of god, there's been a vacancy open. I intend to fill that void! Join me and find out how~" she stops midway the dance to tend her hand out to you. “Do you accept? Then take it!”

You don’t take it, not understanding what she’s trying to do. Is this some sort of courting dance?

Seeing your refusal, she does a pirouette while waving her arms around like a tornado, one of them is completely covered in darkness though “Once in every maggot's life their country shall call upon them! And their country shall ask of them to do no less that their duty to their country and to take the fight to those who would wish it harm! Are you ready to serve your country maggot~!? She tends out the hand again, this time a bit more energetic as well.

…If this is a courting dance then it’s a pretty bad one, her dance is completely off tune with the music and she’s clearly tiring herself out by doing so. Still, she’d get an A for effort.

“Sleep tonight won’t come, dear friend of mine. For tomorrow morn, the sun won’t shine. They intent to make this land of chaos one of form and order. They are many but intent to make us one.
Out of the east they shall enter our border, to crush and overrun us. Anon is on the hunt”

You have no idea what she’s talking about or doing, but it sounds like a plot hook or something!

“But they underestimate us, they do not know the power the darkness once held. Once said power is regained and displayed all over the land. Their courage shall leave them, the anon shall run”.

“Ah, so it’s the classical defeat the evil invader by finding some McGuffin? Like collecting the seven dragon balls or the four orbs of light?” you interrupt her, now understanding what she meant!

The girl stops mid-spin to face you and trips on her feet, falling face first into the ground if you hadn’t caught her by picking her up by the neck like a cat. “Uh, sure?” she stammers out.

“And you being the innocent maiden that you are, wish for a mighty warrior to accompany you on a perilous quest fraught with dangers and trials for the sake of Gensokyo? Is that not true?”

She looks at you as if she’s not sure what the hell you’re talking about. “Yes?”.

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Now Im interested
A quest filled with danger, obstacles to overcome. Foes to face and defeat….

That’s just like one of your battle manga’s! That’s the dream life incarnate!

Why didn’t she say so earlier! Such a quest is just made for you! “In that case I-“HOLD IT!

Wait you can’t just accept like that, you’d look too eager and there’s a procedure to all this!

If you remember correctly, this is the part where you send the little girl on a smaller trail of sorts to prove her resolution.

Yeah, a side quest before you join for real! You must respect the rule of narration!

Though on the other hand, you being the cool amazing and strong leading female protagonist can also just refuse to help her at all, only to appear later at just the right time when she’s in danger so you can have a cool ‘I changed my mind kid’ moment to showcase how amazing you are!

Hehehe, you smile to yourself as you imagine it. You’ll be so amazing the girl will want to become your apprentice and everything. The journey of Meiling: Gensokyo Chronicles. Hell yes!

“Uh hello?” the girl waves her hand in front of you “So are you joining the party or not?” she says very impatiently though you know that deep in her heart she must be pretty anxious for the answer.

The music is still playing though, you’ve got no idea how she did it, but the Mistress will get pissed if it wakes her up. “Turn off the music first”.

The girl looks at you all confused “What music?” even through it’s still loudly blaring.

“The one that’s playing right now? Do you not hear it?” you explain to her.

“….” And now she’s staring a hole into your skull, wtf would be the expression on her face.

Huh, okay that’s a bad start then. But this is quite the curious for your amazing adventure.

Now all you need to do give the girl a thing to do so you won’t look too eager to join!

You cross your arms wisely, let your scarf flutter in the wind and say with confidence!

[X] Uh, first you need to…obtain a sacred scroll from the village for me (Make her buy Manga for you, walking to the village and all the way back is too much effort you don’t want to spend)
[X] Young one, you are too eager! First you must show your discipline! (Have her do some chores)
[X] (Write in side quest).
[X] Sorry kid, but you’re right out of luck. I’ve got uh intense brooding to do in some corner.
[X] Never mind all this, have her explain in better details what she wants. Knowing the lore of whatever adventure, she’s got for you is pretty important on it’s own.

Oof, done. Saw what wafas were just today and thought it looked interesting for a neat visual clue on what's happening. (sorry if that's too much images slash posts at once or something).

With that said I'll await your votes warmly.
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[X] Young one, you are too eager! First you must show your discipline! (Have her do some chores)

Rumia, I know you can't hear the voices in your head right now, but Dai is probably in the mansion at this moment, meaning you can find her and do the chores at the same time!
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Whats a quest log
You head inside the mansion after waving back to the Gatekeeper.

She told you to go Accomplish Chores or something and then to come back afterwards.

As in via the mouth, she said that with her mouth part. It’s not like she said it telepathically.

Though you don’t see why you specify that since it’s only you here and no one else.


One sec, you wave towards the darkness.

The darkness gives you a middle finger.

How rude, you eat it anyway.

Tastes a bit crunchy, but better than nothing.

The darkness acts like a baby and dissapears.


But anyway, you don’t hear any voices, no music is playing as for as you know and there are no tiny people inside your brain soup making decisions for you! There’s no quest log either!

Quest log: Accomplish Chores! *ting! ting!* An bell like chime can be heard

Huh, what’d you know, looks like you were wrong for the last one.

Kind of a shitty one though, it’s just a block of text floating above your head.

Shouldn’t you get something that looks like more edgy slash mysterious.

Or at least looks like a pirate map? You know make it more fun to look at!

Wait a minute…pirates don’t take good care of their maps now that you think about it. Every time you find a pirate map it’s either tea stained or burned, or it looks like it’s about to crumple into dust.

To all the pirates out there: If you want me search your treasure…

At least laminate the goddamn map!

Or you’ll eat their testicles, those are the crunchiest!

Not really, but it’ll intimidate the shit out of them for sure!

New Quest Added: Scold the next pirate you meet! *ting! ting!*

Yeah no, you’re not actually going to do that. Too much effort.

Let’s go back to the side quest: Do dem chores. But how many chores are we speaking off?

Certainly not just one cause otherwise the word would be chore, so that means you’ve got to do more than one chore. How about two then? That’s not too little nor too many.

Two is perfect! You’ll do two chores and then make her join your party!

Quest Altered: Accomplish Two Chores! *ting! ting!*

Okay that noise might become annoying…

What’s a chore supposed to be though? Something boring or hard to do right?
Eh, no need to overthink it. You’ll just find someone to give you a chore to do!

But if turns out to be too boring…you might need to commit some self-control.
Ugh, the very though of working for free is making you feel discouraged.

Sanity lowered by 1! The very concept of work makes you discouraged! *ting! ting!*


Sanity lowered by 1! The sound of bells lowers your resolve! *ting! ting!*


On second thought, this might be the start of a bad day. What’s sanity supposed to be an-oh there’s a number above you as well (10 rn) …you know what you won’t question it.

You’ve dealt with weirder stuff so far and don’t have time to doubt your own sanity, if anything your viewpoint is the only one you know is true since it’s yours!

Aka for as much as anyone cares, you might as well be enlightened.

Yeah, you've seen the truth and lived to tell the tale.

An enlightened badass is you!

Enough self-musing. You made it past the gate and now it’s time to venture the Vampire’s Castle!

"This castle, could it be Dracula's castle?!" you say as dramatic flair.

The Vampire's Castle does not respond, it is a building. Those don't talk.

You walk across the garden, go up the stairs and enter the large gate of the SDM.

Once inside you see that even the inside is filled with red, from the floor to the ceiling to even the walls. Someone sure loves their red the way you like your meals.

Splattered everywhere!


Seriously? No drum roll or anything? Come on that was a great joke!

New Quest added: Get better jokes! *ting! ting!*

Oh f-no, you’re above swear words. You’re in the house of some lady right now.

So, you should act with some dignity, and continue the damn description of the room.

Okay so like, you go down some long narrow hallway even though you’re sure that’s not how the entrance looked like last time you entered and see a split in the road.

It seems to be mostly an empty room, wait no it’s not a room just a big space in the hallway.

There is one fairy maid cleaning the place with a broom, she looks deep in thought.

Two bats are having a romantic lunch on some bookcase, oh boy love is in the air.

Some wacky weird mirror is attached to the wall to your right, it’s purpose unknown.

Finally, there’s one big door with a red carpet laid out towards it, as if beckoning you to enter.

Oh, there’s also the two other directions you can take down the hallway if you want to go somewhere else, that’s left and right by the way…okay that was a captain obvious.

Finally, finally you can also turn back to like leave the place if you want.

You remove your darkness since no sunlight enters this place.

You remember the darkness already left, it makes no difference anyway.

So, let’s a go go wait why is Daiy’s name on your quest log?

You did not write that down! Nor did you even think about her!

Okay it’s official, this isn’t really your quest log. Someone is mocking you here.

Grrrrrr, they may laugh now but once you find them oh boy won’t they like your response.

But fine, you’re done getting annoyed by random stuff. Let’s just continue this uh side quest.

The sooner you’re done, the sooner you get to do something else!

Heh, this should be easy anyway. After all you’re the darkness incarnate.

The dark desires inside men’s heart are no secret to you, if anything you’re the ultimate corruptor!

Let’s go! Let’s do this! You’ll become the Ultimate Maid for the sake of Justice!

You’ll show them heaven just so you can drag them to hell at the last second!

Let's finish these damn chores and get ourselves some party members!

[X] Approach Fairy Maid with Maiden like intent
[X] Approach the bats that were Maids for each other.
[X] Walk towards a direction you chose like a self-Maid girl. (Upwards, Left, Right, Back).
[X] Look at mirror to see your Maidenly Mirage.

Minute Maid Mode has been activated: Rumia doesn’t feel patient nor does she have any sort of training for maid stuff, hence every vote given will be followed as soon as the dm sees them. This includes contradictory ones cause rule of fun

Write ins are always accepted, hence it's not listed rn since it's pretty obvouis.

Will await your votes warmly.
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[X] Approach Fairy with Maiden like intent.
[X] Headpat Fairy, let it know it's a good girl.
[X] Ask it what chores you can do.

Come on, Rumia. You can give the fairies a temporary truce right?
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[X] Approach Fairy.

Alright, remember lads: trash talk Murasa, get better joke material from... who in the world would be good at telling jokes?
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You approach the fairy with maiden like intent.

The fairy is busy moving the broom back and forth while talking to herself, she's got blond hair and a cute green ribbon alongside a maid uniform. Clearly she's an employee.

Also she's a fairy, overall a disgusting creature.

Even so, you need info more than anything and so you do the following with immense reluctance. You physically touch her unworthy body by the shoulder "Hey~"

The fairy doesn't flinch nor does she let out a cry, instead she turns around "How can I help you maaam?" she says with a dead tone, clearly uncaring about everything.

"Can I headpat you?" you ask immediatly, and try to pretend that she's Dai or Cirno.

"Sure, Sure. Will do in a mi-" she opens her eyes "Wait what?" but the realization is too late!

Before the girl can say more, you grab her tightly by the shoulder and push her down to the ground! She lets out a squeal of fright that quickly stops as she hits her head and stuns herself. That makes the rest easier.

You lean on top of her like a tiger on top of an anteloppe, her sweet ripe grass exposed to only you.
You begin to carefully stroke the fairy's beatiful scalp, enjoying every embrace stolen by your fingers as you concentrate on the spaces behind the ear and neck to give her slow but sensual tingles throughout the body.
Occasionaly you run some of your fingers through her forest and give each strand a gentle tug.

"Who's a good girl?" you whisper seductively in her ear with each caress, making sure to be patient. "You are~"

The smell of her skin is intoxicating and is softer than a cloud, her breathing fastens, her eyes become hazy and her cheek redden as her body becomes hotter, she's enjoying this far too much. Is this her first time perhaps?

Good, that'll only make it easier, before she can say the n word she'll be drowning in pleasure, she'll be yours.

Except not since she's coming around, you can tell cause she's screaming and kicking now. It's actually hurting you too which only makes it better since it's only fun if they resist a bit as well. A fire lights inside of you.

You decide it's time to go the next step: The real headpat...but come to a problem. Her ribbon is protecting the most sensitive parts of her palace and you've got your one good hand busy restraining her.....oh idea!

You cover the entire area in darkness and put your saw right beneath her neck. "Stop or else..."

She stops strugling immediatly, and tears come out of her eyes as she looks you with anger and defiance.

And a twinkle of lust, but it's being supressed as she fights a battle within herself.

"Good girl~"But you don't care and use your now free hand to vicouisly tear apart her headpiece. The rest of her long hair is let loose as her hakurei barrier cannot protect it anymore from your skilfull hand.

You grab a handful and prepare a bomb, it's now or never. Either she breaks or she'll hate you forever.

You headpat her, you curl your fingers around her strands. Massage the skin with taps and brush your hand back and forth with masterful strokes across her head, you give the one you hate most absolute bliss.

"I-I, n-Oooo-''She gnashes her teeth and does her best to keep up a frown, but every sensation makes her shake, every tingle makes her resist the urge to melt until it all turns to a blissful face "Uwuu-" as she starts to drool and rapidly shake faster and faster as if she's having joy seizures. "I-I, it's like I've returned to my younger days! the days where nothing on my body felt stiff!" and she broke "It-t-t's a-a-s if I'm in heaven! heaven! like a beach boy! beach boy! on a southern island!" her eyes roll back and she loses reason "Even though I've never been on the beach before and have spent all my life in the mountain regions, I'm a beach boy!".

You can't help but chuckle ominously, all have fallen to the dark arts of the headpat. there are no exceptions!

"IT FEELS GOOD, IT FEELS SO GOOD!" the fairy stops for a moment, looks at the ceiling with an empty look in her eyes, and then starts bashing the back of her head against the floor clarity "No! NO I MUSN"T LOSE! IF I SUCCUMB THEN THE MISTRESS WILL FIRE ME! AND THEN IT"LL BE A BEACH OF SOLITUDE!" she's starting to push you back! "I won't end up a loner again! I don't want to lose all my bonds!" a new resolve has been born in within her! "Ï WON'T ABANDON MY FRIENDS!"


You stop massaging her and back off, you return the light too and spit on the ground in disgust. "The headpat is over".

"W-what?" The girl is unable to stand up but looks at you with a glare "Why did you stop? Did you get scared of me?!"

"Why do we headpat!?" you look up at the ceiling "Is it a sign of affection!? a sign of love?! no, it's nothing like that!" you remember the first time your head got patted "The headpat is a gesture to make one feel bliss, if I were to continue the headpat you would have become unhappy! The stress in your life has been fixed but if I take away the happiest thing you got anyway then a needless and unhealthy vicouis cycle of stress will arise" and clench your fist in frustration.

"....Sexual assualter-kun..." the girl seems confused, but it's okay if she doesn't understand.

"I hate fairies, your kind is stupid, weak and values no bond whatsoever" you admit to her "But your willpower, your (mental) hardness...I've never experienced such a hardness before" you turn back to her "TO PRESERVE SUCH A INCREDIBLE HARDNESS! SUCH FRIENDSHIP POWER! BECOME A TRULY HARD PERSON IN A MORE HEALTHY WAY!"

"M..Mo...Molester-kun!" she hugs you out of nowhere "Thank you so much!" her touch revolts you.

"Hey! What's with you!" you have the urge to push her away, if not make her go Pichun...but don't "...Dammit, I lost after all".


On second thought, fairies may be more nobler than you thought.

On a third thought, you're not sure if you're a criminal now.

After a few moments, you both separate and after an akward farewell you leave her be.

In the end you failed to make her into a good girl but did manage to get some good info out of her.

"If you are looking for chores, then why not visit the Mistress herself? Just go up the door, up another hallway, take a left, then a down, then go back the same door you entered. It'll make sense then go right twice and up the stairs. Then two more lefts and you'll see her bedroom. That's all I know and now I gotta go cause it's break time. Good luck creepazoid!" were her words.

You note down the directions to the Bedroom in your quest log!

....No ting ting? huh never mind then.

Anyway you're ready to go, just gotta remove some manly tears and wait for some bruises to heal.

The bats are looking at you from accross the room, their eyes sending clear WTF energy to you.


Okay you're ready for adventure again!

What do you do now?

[X] Approach the bats that were Maids for each other.
[X] Walk towards a direction you chose like a self-Maid girl. (Upwards, Left, Right, Back).
[X] Look at mirror to see your Maidenly Mirage.
[X] Head to the Mistress's Bedroom for a Maidenly Reason?

I've never seen a headpat in rl ngl, had to look up what it is in google.
So take mercy on me if that's not how it works.
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What did I just read? That was amazing!

[X] Head to the Mistress's Bedroom for a Maidenly Reason?

Wake the hell up, Remilia! We've got questing to do!
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[X] Head to the Mistress's Bedroom for a Maidenly Reason?
It's a good reason, I'm sure.
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File 163595061854.jpg - (118.15KB, 400x600, Stairs are evil.jpg)
Stairs are evil

Aye, meeting the Mistress herself should give you a good clue on what to do now.
Even though she’s sleeping at the moment and is expecting lots of stuff in the evening surely, she can make some time for someone as amazing as you~

She’d have to since she’s just a secondary anyway and those are the kind of people that should serve your every whim or commit heroic sacrifices for your greater cause!

It’s the rules of nature.

Come on, you’re a cute magical cannibal girl. The world should be easy mode for you!

Wait, you almost forgot this is hard mode now. That does make you wonder what normal mode is.

But that’s enough navel gazing about the mysteries of the universe. It is time to act.

You approach the door while ignoring the judgemental stares of the bats and enter it.

Another hallway appears in front of you, it is filled to the brim with doors on each side.

Out of curiosity you try to open one only to find out that it is locked.

And so is the second one, looks like this place values privacy.

As is the third and fourth and fifth and so on!

Looks like someone has a locked door fetish or this place is just that well-guarded? There aren’t any fairy maids here, but you do see the glimpse of someone passing by like a blur further ahead.

You cross the hallway filled with LOCKED doors and meet a split in the road, left or right.
There is a large red arrow that points to the right and says Potential Applicants Go here!

But the figure you saw went to the left, not to forget that’s also the same direction for the bedroom.

So left it is and that’s another red hallway for you to go through yay~ for some reason this one seems completely trashed, candles and chandeliers have been vandalized, the walls are covered in burn marks and the place reeks of fairy dust and blood. Dogs the size of horses have had their head smashed into a pulp via bludgeoning and goblinoid creatures have had their torso shredded open. Finally, there’s also scattered remains of bones so there may have been skeletons here too.

Another normal day in the wilderness really, looks like something powerful is roaming around.
Or these mooks were just weaklings but then again normally one would have used danmaku here.

Oh well, it's not your problem!

You don’t really care about what may or may not be here and fly over the spilled mess to seek your next destination. You see another way straightforward, a door to the left and a staircase down.

So-oh hold on a moment, you can hear some noise. It’s like a Tok! Tok! Tok! kind of sound.

Something rushes past you and enters the staircase, additionally your head has been cracked open as your body lies limp on the ground and the former body part starts having leak issues.

How rude of it, you can’t just assault someone without permission.
You could have died for heavens sake! Not everyone happens to be an youkai!

No one responds to your indignation since they’re either dead or out of commission.
…Huh, guess the dogs and goblins and the fairies weren’t so lucky then. But enough blabber.

You’re not that badly hurt so you get up and continue the adventure. You’ve got chores to do.

You head down the staircase as well and continue heading down the staircase (Captain Obvious strikes again), boy is this a long one. The deeper down you go the less solid the walls seem to become until they’re entirely gone, and you’re surrounded in nothing but a void of sorts: There’s only you and the stairs in sight, no walls, no ceilings only stairs going further down and down and down forever while there’s nothing but darkness in between. You wonder what would happen if you flew away from the stairs now or if you slipped and fell.

Would anyone ever find you again? Man, that’d be spooky~

You keep going down while humming, not like you can do anything else right now.

Huh, they’ve sure got some fancy time and space barrier distortion stuff going around here. That’d explain why there are so many hallways for what seems to be a decent sized castle: It’s bigger in the inside.

Not that you’re that familiar with like the complicated stuff, the most you know is like that the Hakurei Maiden takes care of the barrier that protects our world and that there is some Legendary Sage that can manipulate the barrier of everything! The best thing you’ve ever managed to do is your Demarcation Spell card which manipulates the uh manipulation is not the right word…it marks or separates the bounds between light and dark to cover like uh more ground? It shoots pretty bullets for sure but you’re certain you had another use for it. Probably?

Either way, effecting a large range of like a place or land takes a lot of power. Power that makes your hair naturally stiffen up and your heartbeat fasten a bit, whoever is doing this is someone you should not piss off lest you might end up wandering a maze for like eternity and super spooky stuff like that.

Of course, that only makes you want to meet said person even more! give them a tap on the back for the scary atmosphere too since that's some architecture that deserves respect.

A normal human would probably go insane from the isolation. And the voices that keep beckoning you to go off the stairs would help with that but you’re doing a good job at ignoring them.

Finally, after what seems to be an eternity the surroundings start to fizzle back into existence and the staircase finally ends: You are once more into a fricking red hallway! What was the point of that!?

Does this place loop or is everything randomly connected or something? this is a great way to make intruders lost and starve to death for sure but imagine if you lived here and wanted to go to the bathroom. It’d take you 3 hours to find your way there and back! This is getting ridiculous…

This hallway looks the exact same as those you’ve walked through before, red everywhere and some nice décor here and there alongside a door that looks the exact same as the first door you went through.

There are some fairy maids chatting amongst themselves as they dust off vases and stuff (They haven’t noticed you). A large painting of two vampires is encased on the wall and one looks a lot like you with her blond hair, pale skin, and red ribbon the good ol Rumia style.

Huh, now isn’t that neat. You got yourself a copycat after all! But does she have a chainsaw?

If she does then that confirms the deal, and you’d have to beat her up to get your fear back.

New Quest added: Beat up the impostor *ting! ting!*

Indeed, but only IF she is indeed the impostor, you don’t mind beating up innocent people but honestly, you’re starting to get tired of fights that don’t give you any sort of reward.

Okay let’s get back at track here. You were going something and had directions for it.

First you went up the door, took another hallway, went left, and went down the staircase. Now you must uuh…you should go back and then somewhere else? You forgot the rest.

Should have written it down dammit, but either way you turn around to head back.

And see that there is another hallway behind you now, the staircase is gone.

...Thank god! if you had to scale those stairs again you'd have murdered someone! Stairs are evil incarnate! Scratch praising whoever made this place, you want to take them up the stairs just so you can push them off em and watch as they slowly break their teeth while falling down! That'd be so ironic~

Also you might be lost, but you can't be lost since you know where you are. Just not where the other places might be. But it'll fine since if you need to be somewhere then eventually you'll make it there.

You look back towards the other hallway and the fairies have been replaced with dust except for one of them who’s crouching in the fetal position like a loser, the décor has been trashed and the heads of the vampires in the painting have been scratched off. The former door has been burst open like a hole and you think there’s something like blood trailing near it.

New Quest added: Survive! *ting! ting!*

Har har so funny, even if you’re not alone you don’t see why you should be worried.
After all, the only thing people should fear in here is you. What's some random lurker gonna do?

You do reserve the right to set the house on fire if it turns out to be a prank...but then the fire might not go out and then you'd be stuck on a maze that's forever on fire.

Yeah, let's avoid fire for now and just follow our Maid Spirit!

[X] Enter the hole like a proper maid.
[X] Head down the Left or Right Hallway like a walking maid.
[X] Speak to the survivor like a maiden would.
[X] Become Meiling again, that red haired maiden.
[X] Get better jokes Give it time, I'm just uh out of fun juice? I'll get better promise!

I’ve had half a mind to just leave a >___ as the sole option like those exploring adventure games, but wouldn’t know if that comes off as discouraging.

Just pretend it does have that and that the votes above are suggestions.
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[x] The fairy said to enter the door we first used, then two rights, up some stairs, and two lefts!

Ignore the lesser Flandre, acquire the greater Remilia.
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You figured it out, you smarty pants.

Having remembered the directions of the fairy maid once more, you decide to enter the door that you’ve used previously…though you’ve used the stairs before and uh whatever just do it.

You just open the broken door like a normal person and enter through it.

Behold even more red hallways, they are filled with even more destroyed furniture and a ragtag bunch of monsters such as werewolves, living armours and imps all dead and defeated. Also, dust.

At this point you’re starting to see the pattern, someone’s running around committing vandalisms and killing the crew members, how rude of them.

But again, it’s not your problem.

Other than the headache on your bloody head that is, it stopped bleeding a while ago but don’t think that means you’ll ever forgive someone for casually breaking it open.

Either way, ignoring the oh so tragic casualties. You continue your journey.

You head to the right, and see the same scene, you head right again and see the same scene again except this time there are knives around as well.

Looks like the head maid finally joined the fray, guess the problem is already solved then.

You’re starting to wonder why you keep being late to the *party*. Are they having some sort of high-speed battle while running around the place or is this some time and space nonsense again?

Wait never mind, those are kunai’s not knives…and there is some molten ice on that carpet.

Oh, there’s also some axes just lying around. Guess they belonged to some living armours?

Eh, these are all just semantics and either way it’s not like it matters, you head up the stai-

Why are the stairs covered in ice and spikes? I mean it won’t stop you since you can fly but it’s sincerely a very rude thing to do, it makes you feel like people don’t want you upstairs.

Which is impossible since everyone loves you. Or they will once you take over the world.

You head up the second or third floor anyway, you don’t know how many floors this place has.

While destroying the spikes that are in the way off course, you’d hate having to deal with them once you make your way down again. Screw those who made them in the first place.

Finally, you see that this hallway is cleaned and undamaged, looks like someone hasn’t reached this place yet or perhaps the stairs being barricaded forces them to find another route up.

All in all, this place seems decent, except for the thick layer of ice surrounding the left hallway.

It is however see through and you can see a bunch of fairies arming themselves at the other side.

Some of them have bandages on them while all the nonwounded are wielding crude weapons such as brooms, forks, and blunt sharp sticks of ice. All of them seem uncomfortable if not terrified for some reason but honestly who cares about all that nonsense? They’re just in your way!

You’ll just bash in the wall the ice wall and continue you-oh hold on a moment.
One: that’s kind of dumb, Two: That’s too much effort and Three: You might scare the fairies.

Not that you give a rat’s ass about them, heavens no. but maybe you could reason with them?

Even if the mere notion revolts you, you’ve already head patted one so you can’t possibly get any lower than that even if you tried…you shiver at the memory. It fills you with a weird sort of shame.

…Or you could destroy their barricade anyway cause that’s cooler, life is multichoice after all.

And so far, the choice of violence has never backfired on you! Come on it’ll be fun let’s bul-fight!

[X] Destroy Barrier, Seek Mistress, Acquire Chores.
[X] Knock on Ice Wall, be nice Reason with Fey-kind.
[X] Hold on a sec, the stairs are making a weird noise.
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[X] Knock on Ice Wall, be nice Reason with Fey-kind.

Oh, and saw a hole in the wall if you can't hear them through it. Any reason to use the chainsaw (I wonder if it has a fuel source). I guess Cirno and Dai are here? Not many others care for ice that much, nor is it a good undead deterrent.

So I guess this is all recent if Meiling is just sitting around out front while a war is occurring.
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You decide to be a mad lad and caress the wall of ice, the wall is cold and hard to the touch.

"Can I put myself inside of you?" you ask it with the sweetest tone you can muster.

It doesn't say anything but doesn't refuse you either. You take that as a yes.

Seeing how it gave consent, you activate your quivering epidermal tissue disruptonator and enjoy the rush of adrenaline surging from your arm as it cries out a steel roar...this warm sensation, this feeling of power. It feels like everything will be okay if you cut your problems apart.

You've used it plenty of times or so, but it never stops being FUN!

You look at your target, it's a wall of ice, a fresh and young maiden who's eager to learn more about the world and only needs a strong wise chainsaw to rip out her insides.

Oh yes, the wall is a good girl, you bet she worked hard at wall school to get good wall grades.
So, she could get a good wall diploma for a good wall job as in a building that needs a good wall and behold, she made it.

Her wall parents would be so proud of her and frankly doesn't the girl deserve...wait a minute.

If the wall went to wall school and is the smartest wall out of all the walls then...

This wall is a nerd! that's such a massive turn off...but the blades are already spinning and you're never one to not finish a job. Not to forget that the fairies are watching you too and you're just not into showing off your hard thing. Matters like these should be private.

You grit your teeth in frustration, close your eyes while thinking happy thoughts and j-j-j-jam it inside of her, first you're met with resistance and find it hard to move around but eventually the heat of your metal engine makes the ice soften and more lubricated as water pours out. You use the newfound freedom to explore every corner, every inch of her....and do not enjoy it.

Something isn't right, there is no warm blood sputtering out of her, only cold water. She does not scream out howls of agony until her voice breaks, she is purely silent. Uncaring. Indifferent.

Does she not enjoy this either? Or are you simply that bad? You've only had the saw for a few hours at most but to see her reject your efforts with such a cold silence really hurts your ego.

Darn it...all you wanted was for this girl to see the true youkai of darkness, to feel the passion that burns within you. To feel your hands inside her guts as you wring the light out of her.

But alas, she will never accept you, whether it's because you two are incompatible or not is something you'll have to forever ponder on your own as life continues to go on.

But as time passes by and as long as you still have this thing your bloodlust will grow; this wall isn't enough. You need more, something made of warm flesh. Someone who can accept your everything!

You decide to finish it. You carve your very existence into her, a R shaped hole just like your name shall be the only reminder of your encounter, it's a mark she cannot erase.

The path has been opened and you continue your march while ignoring the dull aching sensation in your arm. The saw is sad and so are you, a feeling of emptiness is inside of you.


The fairies are just ahead, still scared of what may come around but most of them have organized themselves in anticipation of a future encounter, those who can fight hold their weapons in shaking hands while they look at you defiantly and with fear for some reason.

...Why would they be afraid of you? You didn't do anything wrong. Sure, you're smiling with all your teeth exposed and sure your head has some bloodstains or two but that's no reason to discriminate now, is it? If anything, if you saw a girl holding a saw you'd be excited to meet her. Oh well it's diplomacy time.

"Hey hey people, Rumia here~ it sure is spooky around here for some reason, isn't it?" be wholesome.

They don't give a proper reply, and whisper amongst themselves. Those wounded are already leaving.

"Oh, wait should I have waited for you guys to introduce yourselves?" you scratch the back of your head in good humour "Sorry that's my ba-ew, yuck now my hand is all sticky...So uh go ahead and do that".

Again, they don't give a proper reply, or at least nothing more than a "Don't come any closer!"

You take another step anyway "And what if I do anyway? I don't like being told what to do".

They take a step back and ready their crude weapons. "I'm warning you! stop or we'll attack!"

You actually stop and tilt your head with a smile "Is that so? And then what?"

A re-They don't deserve descriptions fairy's face becomes white "W-what do you mean?"

"Do you seriously think any of you will live if you piss me off? I'm the darkness incarnate people" and to demonstrate all of the light behind you disappears, as if you're an approaching wall of darkness.

"And who are you people? Just a bunch of fairies in cosplay wielding dumb things as if they're meant to be weapons. Do you seriously think you could beat me without Danmaku? Why aren't you using Danmaku anyway? Don’t answer that I don't care. I'm going to visit your Mistress and you all won't stop me

But if you try to stop me then it better be a suicide charge because if I get my hands on you..." you let the darkness engulf you and let only enough light in to give the darkness the appearance of having fangs.
"If you get into the darkness, I'll eat you~

And no matter how much you shout~

No matter how much you cry~

No one will save you

I'll enjoy the sensation of my fangs in your skin~ my saw in your guts (yummy) and my last hand gripping down your beating heart!

Nothing will be left of you! Not even bones for a casket or grave!

So go ahead and try me! what do you value more: Your job or your life? CHOOSE NOW!" and the large black pacman void filled with teeth charges at them!

"NOOOOOO!" "I don't want to die!" "Save me commander!" "Let's retreat! commit the strategic retreat!"
You hear objects being dropped and the cries of fear from several little girls as they run away faster than you can count to 3, which is very fast that is. Cause you're a fast counter.

Heh, looks like you managed to intimidate them. You remove the darkness and do a cutesy spin before doing a victory pose with the V sign of Victory "Phehehehe, of course they'd fear me~" a deep feeling of joy at successfully intimidating a bunch of dumb girls warms up your heart. "I'm the best dark lord!".

Wait, realization strikes again. Weren't you supposed to be nice? Ah dammit you ruined it!

You internally vow to be nice to the next little girl you meet, that said the place is free now.

What do you do now? Oh, hold on a moment, *tap tap* there you dusted yourself off.

[X] Mistress Bedroom, NOW OR NEVER.

Yeah, I thought so. It's not like there's anything else to do anyway.

You take another left and see that the entire right side of the hallway is frozen as well.

Why though? The Mistress Chambers is the opposite way. Shouldn't they protect her?

Either way you continue and finally arrive to the Door for the Bedroom.

It's a door made of blood red wood or is it painted? and golden handles.

You try to open the door and immediately stop cause your hand feels like it's touching a hot summer rock.

And indeed, your hand is mildly burned, like the kind of burn you'd get if yo-uh it's just a burn.

Anyhow that confirms it: The door is a meanie.

What now?

[X] Just open the door anyway. You fear nothing!
[X] Destroy the door for a Dynamic Entry.
[X] Seek a vent to enter, you're a ninja.
[X] Seduce the door, it's just a tsun tsun.
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[X] Destroy the door for a Dynamic Entry.

Rumia is here!
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dynamic entry complete
Time: ??? ; Location: Scarlet Devil Mansion. ; Date: 17/07/2017.
34 Attempts of door violence later.

The soft silent and definitly gentle murmur of a explosion exploding resonates a resonance through the space that is the room, the door of said room itself remains in place and intact even though the walls near it are no longer there which would normally make it a victim of the kravitational forces that is Kravity. But it is not.

Squeezing between the new space to enter comes the one and only Rumia, she has her eyes closed because cool girls don't look at explosions and you are the coolest of girls.

Also cause the light might hurt her eyes but no one needs to know that so shush.

She ends the walk with another twirl and victory pose. Proud of her dynamic entry.

After all it wasn't an easy thing to do, the door was enchanted with crazy powerful protective properties so litteraly noone except those permitted could open it.

But the walls surrounding it wasn't. So she simply cut the walls holding it apart before entering anyway. Seems there was no counter to that outside the box tactic.

She opens her eyes again and sees the bedroom in all it's glory: It's a bedroom.

Getting tired of thinking in third person, she goes back to the You format.

The room is wait for it....red! but also completely dark, like the evil lair of some dark lord there is ominous mist surrounding the place and you swear you can hear a clock tick.

The first thing you notice is the humongous bed, it is big enough for 4 people to sleep comfortably in...if it wasn't for the large coffin hogging most of the spot. There are bats on each side of the corner but they don't seem to be real....or are they?

A teapot is lying next to the bed, and on the wall above it lies a pretty sort of glass thing alongside an array of exotic weaponry. You can feel in your bones that they're all weapons made for hunting the night. To have them held casually over your bed takes guts since their sheer presence is enough to make you feel on edge. You back away a bit.

Not that you're scared or anything, just midly unnerved.

On the other side of the bed, just offscreen lies a very comfy couch and a large dresser filed with what you bet would be a bunch of fancy clothes fit for a rich person.

On the other other side of the bed (that is your left) lies a red warm carpet, some comfy looking chairs and a fireplace that isn't on yet. There are also candles everywhere.

Finally just a bit away from you lies a desk on which lies a book that if you're having a lucky day might contain the personal feelings and experiences of a certain mistress...there's also some orb thing and a cutesy reimu doll though it looks weird.

So this is the bedroom of an Vampire? it looks quite cozy and warm. It makes youf eel sleepy if not a lot calmer, if it wasn't for the weapons you'd feel 100% at ease.

That couch, that bed, they look so warm and soft to the touch. You bet laying on one of them would feel like sleeping on top of a cloud. That is not a real cloud cause you can't actually sleep on those, you can tell that by experience.

You don't see the Mistress anywhere which is odd since this is where she's been said and implied to be, maybe you should take a closer look around then?

[X] It's a BEDroom, take a look at the BED duh.
[X]....You know, you've always wanted to read a dairy.
[X]Is it loot time? you think it's loot time. Take everything.
[X]Maybe you need to shout her name? What was it again?
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[x] Threaten violence against the doll if the mistress does not appear.

Wake up, Remilia, or the fumo gets it!
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Moral Conflict

You approach the Reimu Doll to get a better look, easy peasy.

The doll has soft features, a cute lil red ribbon and a pout so adorable it could make your heart melt. It looks exactly like the Hakurei Maiden!

Clearly this thing must be a rarity, or perhaps one of its kind? You've never seen such a doll before so it's possible that the Vampire created it herself with the foulest of magics and glitteriest of diamonds. Something this amazing needs the best components!

Well, no matter how it has been made it's valuable. If not by real gold, then by sheer emotional ones. And it's obvious why, cause tell me: Why does anyone buy a doll?

A doll is someone you can rely on, someone who plays games with you and will be there to keep you warm at night. The doll is your bestest of friends in the cruel void that is life.

At least you think so, you've never had a doll before...or any sort of toy for that matter.

Ahem! but that's not all! This is a HAKUREI MAIDEN doll and that only makes it better.

Imagine it: The maiden who usually just tolerates your presence or half-heartedly asks you to leave after some tea and small talk approaches you on a sad day to give you an encouraging statement like "You seem worried, want to talk about it? Don't worry I'm your friend" or she lets you sit on her lap as she head pats you while the cherry blossoms wave in the wind! oruhohgodthisthingisamazing! youwantit!!

"Youaremynewbestestfriend!" youpickupthedollandohgodwhydoesitfeelsosoftNGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

You hug the doll for a few seconds, it feels super soft and comforts your very soul. No one is watching right?

Wait what if there is someone though? they'd know you hugged a doll and then your reputation is forever ruined!

....uh NO! NO! NO! you back away from it with a loud gasp of shock!
One more second and it would have ensnared you with it's evil doll magic!
Another two and you'd have chosen to steal the damn thing which is suicide because it would invoke the...

It would invoke the Vampire's wrath because it's precious to her.

Such pathetic feelings can be exploited! You can hold the thing hostage! You point your weapon at it!

"Come out Scarlet Devil! or else your beloved doll shall PERISH!" you shout as loudly as you can.

But no one answers, the coffin's lid blasts open as a downpour of demonic bats fly out of it like water out of a bottle holding water but not one at a time like droplets but several a-wow you suck at metaphors too.

Speaking of suckers, all the bats fly across the room like crazy forcing you to duck as they seek an exit or turn off any and all light sources such as the candles. The room becomes pitch black, or you think so.

You've got dark vision after a-your back gets scratched as some of the bats claws hit you in the back while you protect the Hakurei Maiden with your bo-wait why are you protecting it?! it's your hostage! Not friend!

"Stop you bat heads! stop stop stop!" You get up and swing the saw while holding the girl in the other "Stop hurting me or I'll KILL HER!" and you put your saw right beneath the maiden's neck. "I'll slice her neck off and people die without their necks!" The blades are so close to her, one more inch and she'll die! You'd have murdered your own friend fo-no time for thinking!

The bats do not stop, if anything they start to unify themselves into a cloud of bats as they shred each other apart...blood is drawn as they all fuse into one. A giant bat with crimson eyes, teeth and claws that could shred cows apart and a size that makes it cover the entire bed on its own as. It lets out a loud roar and swings one arm straight at you like a whip!

"ONE MORE STEP!" You shout at it firmly "ONE MORE STEP AND HER HEAD WILL FALL OFF!" yet you still don't do it.

The creature stops its attack and then looks you in the eyes, then at the doll and its fangs form a smile.
Its eyes have a smug sort of glint in them as you see that it has come to a decision.

It takes one more step in your direction and does nothing more. As if testing something.

But what exactly? Is it waiting for you to lower your guard? Does it think you're bluffing?

Does it seriously think you're resolve is that halfassed?! That just because the damn doll LOOKS like the maiden you can't help but see it as trying to kill her instead?! That the very concept of harming your own friends terrifies you?!

===>AS IF YOU'RE THAT WEAK?! You're the darkness incarnate! the shades of PURE EVIL inside everyone's hearts!
You have no need for comrades! You're going to become strong! STRONGER than Anon! and if some people must be stepped on doll or not then you'll do it! You've got the saw; you've got the perfect incident. All you need now is the WILL!

You look at the doll and will cut it apart! you are going to destroy it! you are going to smash it apart! It is smiling at you.

The Doll's frown turned into a warm smile, it's completely oblivious to the situation and trusts you with its life.
The Doll is innocent, it is not food or a obstacle in your path, all it wants is to be your friend...cause you're feeling lonely.

===>How COULD you even consider harming it?! A first-class villain doesn't target honest lives! There's a difference between evil and pure scum and you're treading the line of it! Murder this poor thing and you're beyond redemption! YOU BASTARD!

You grit your teeth as your head is filled with opposing views, of all times to be hesitating! Isn't this the part where like two angels appear on each of your shoulder to advocate for each perspective? Hold on a moment aaaand nope nothing.

....Guess you'll have to make the decision yourself.

Doll, destroy yes or no?

[X] Yes
[X] No
[X] Just drop it.


Big Bat is looking awfully smug at you, it is big and looks mean and doesn't seem like it could move comfortably
in a small room like this one, that could be good. But you got less space to dodge too, that may be bad.
One could go to the hallways for even more space...hold on it can't go past the door now can it?!

What do?

[X] Fight like a little girl!
[X] Run away like a little girl!
[X] Write in like a little girl!

Note: I've made that second image purely by accident somehow and felt like sharing it.
Am a bit sleepy now, so I'll go sleep now.

You know, this section was supposed to be a bit longer but I realized that with my current pace it might just overstay it's welcome if not get boring (Imagine having to actually go labyrinth delving). So I'm going to cut down some stuff so we can get back at track if not continue doing stuff that might progress Anon's goal of making an incident and other stuff.

Do tell me if you're not enjoying this or do enjoy it, cause if the former I can just squeeze in the option to just leave.
Which something you should be able to do anyway except in circumstances like these, since yknow.

With that said, I'll retire in my abode for tonight. Enjoy your weekend.
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[X] No
[x] Let it follow until you find the thing that thwaped your head from earlier.

Big Remi bat will have bigger problems considering just how much disarray whatever it is put the mansion in.
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Your weapon is on the doll’s neck, ready to end its innocent life at any moment.

Despite that the big bat continues gazing you at you with a do it I bet you won’t kind of look.

“Gnuuuu!” And it’s right, you don’t have it in you. You lower your weapon reluctantly.

Its prediction proven correct, the bat seems to almost inflate in smugness levels that shouldn’t be possible, an even wider tootsie smile has added itself to the decoration as well.

It’s almost as if you’re looking at a fairy who successfully smuggled some sugar out of a shop and just can't help but boast about it to everyone, pretty childish energies overall.

Too bad, you don’t like the adorable. Or fairies for that matter.

And it is with that feeling in mind that you dash out of the room with the doll in toll, even if you won’t harm it that doesn’t mean its use as a potential hostage is gone. A genius is you!

A swarm of bats come out of the room to give you chase, you don’t see any sign of anger or sadness on their faces but you’re not sure whether that’s cause you’ve never really gone through animal psychology classes (That’s not a fake class) and are so unable to read their faces correctly or because these bats are masters at seeming in control no matter what they do. Kind of ho-admirable.

You do a dive roll to avoid a sweep of bats, the roll was unnecessary, but it looked cool!

So, they may or may not want you dead, you decide not to risk it and run faster than your local grandma about to attend her…local grandma? Is that seriously the best you can come up with?

You jump over some broken furniture like a champ and continue your dash for survival.

Yeah, never mind that, the grandma was a bad thing to value speed on. But if you had to be one then you’d be one hell of a motivated one! Like one that saw their grandson skip a meal or one that doesn’t want to be ripped to shreds and turned into an undead slave by their powerful pursuer.

You barely dodge a swooping axe coming from the ceiling and some trapped tiles that lead into spike traps, alongside having to deal with paintings that somehow shoot fire, arrows or even both at you.
Is it you or does the further you go also make the hallways harder to deal with?

Not like she’d do that to you now would she? You only broke into her bedroom, loudly woke her up and stole her most precious thing but that’s okay because cute girls are free to do anything!

You realize you've been running while you could be flying for the same speed and less effort, you fly.

And you are the cute-oh hold on a moment, your senses are telling you death is approaching.

You quit the inner musing so you can focus on changing hallways whenever the bats seem to get closer and to also keep up a zig zag pattern since halfway, they started shooting red diamonds at you.
Frightened by this display of capitalistic power, you finally use your favourite peasant spell card.

Moonlight Sign: Moonlight Ray: Two marine orbs surge from your hands and you once again put them backwards so the constant stream of lasers will increase your speed by 200%!

It does come at the cost of being unable to commit precise and sharp movements, alongside risk of vomiting, blurry vision and general massive discomfort. You should make a proper spell card for this.

“Oh, finally taking out the big guns. Do make it amusing will you~” you hear a voice say behind you.

The bats turn smaller and smaller as the distance between you increase and soon after a turn to the left, they’re right behind you again as if nothing happened. It makes you wonder if these things are faster than you and are simply toying with you like a cat on a bike does to the pedestrian mouse.

So, in a sense, this is a deadly game between the two of you. Cat versus Mouse.

You can’t help but giggle at the image, after all is being chased by a swarm of winged hell mouses inside an extravagant mansion while diamonds rain in the sky not the epitome of romance? Could this horrendous first impression not lead to a deeper bond further ahead? If you had to be honest, you wouldn’t deny you’re having a bit of fun right now despite the chance it could end terribly.

Nah, that’s a dumb thought. But with that out of the way it is time to have good one instead: If a pursuer pursues the pursued in a place fit for pursual. While another pursuer already roams in said place. Is it not more efficient to have both pursue each other? To let them fight? It’d be pretty cool.

You can already imagine it, two big monsters decking it out. It excites your every fiber.

Just then you see a bunch of fairies in the distance chasing something with even more familiar Tok! Tok! Tok! footstep sounds as both rapidly approach your position well you approach them.

You end your spell card to get proper eyesight back and finally the truth behind the creature is revealed! It is small, about three to four feet and has lizard-like attributes with spines down its back. Strong fangs and claws which adorn, and it has no hair only grey skin: It is the world’s ugliest cat.

It is smashing its claws against the floor because half of its body is stuck in the floor, but it’s to no use because after a few more seconds a bright green light envelops it as it becomes frozen up to the neck!

“Finally, gotcha, you bastard~” says the one and only Greater Fairy wearing a battle worn maid outfit, she stands out as the tallest one surrounded by barely a dozen fairies staying some distance next to her with their arms pointed at the thing ready to shoot if need be and nervous and tired.

Dai doesn’t look tired at all and has a proud and heart strong fire in her eyes as she speaks with a loud and firm voice to the thing “You may be the Mistress’s personal pet and the head maid may be busy buying groceries but that doesn’t mean this place is yours to mess around. Sure you are fast, cunning and a real pain to pin down I give you that but listen up cause I’ll only say this once”

She gets closer to the thing and looks it in the eyes “I’m not going to tolerate any sort of bullshit towards my future se-allies, if you harm any fairy EVER again then I will personally punish you. Do you even understand what you were doing? Fairies are tied to concepts, to natures. Harm enough fairies and said nature will grow weak, if not die. These are Fairies made off the essence of the very castle ground you live in. Ergo you were going to destroy your own home!
Is that what you wanted? Some harmless mischief and bam the castle breaks? Tell me Punk!” She scolds the thing while at the same time explaining why she is scolding it.

The ugly cat thing makes some strange noises you don’t understand while Dai listens to it, occasionally giving hums of affirmation before coming to a conclusion.
“So, you’re really sorry is what you’re saying? That’s nice and all but I don’t buy it, you looked like you really enjoyed being a little garbage spreader so if you want to repent that badly then..." Her tone becomes more mischievouis as she smiles widely "what should we make you do I wonder~” She looks at the other fairies “Tell me girls, is there anything you ca- “and you feel someone tap on your shoulder.

You turn around and see some majestic lady towering over you, her arms are folded as she just sits in the air like one would a high-quality chair “Why did you stop running? She who rudely awakens the greatest of all evils shall naturally gain the honour of being slain by it. But to just give up like that is beyond boorish, do show a valourous struggle” she says that as if your death is a complete certainty.

Clearly she's yet to understand that you are the one and only Rumia Aka a nobody

“Unless….” she touches her own chin “This is all a silly misunderstanding? Surely you have a good reason for entering my very bedroom despite being aware of the risks involved?” She smiles at you.

You smile back at her cause that’s the polite thing to do and think “Weeell….”

What do you do/say?

[X] The Vampire sure speaks silly if anything you’re the true evil here!
[X] Whatever, Let’s go say hi to Daiyousei! You've got catching up to do!
[X] Realize how much danger you’re in right now and genuflect.
[X] You’re on a great quest and needed something from her!
[X] Write in.
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[X] Whatever, Let’s go say hi to Daiyousei! You've got catching up to do!

Remilia will continue to get no respect around here, this is preordained. Toss her the fumo and call it a day before doing chores.
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You decide you don't need to explain anything and say nothing.

The vampire takes that as a sign of fear and tries to monoblob about something boring like respect, intruding and how she'd normally slaughter you if she wasn't feeling so merciful and humble.

But you don't really care about what she has to say, nor do you respect her sooooo-

Instead of staying like some scared pepper you turn around and approach Dai the usual way.

"DAIYOUSEI!" by shouting her name with vigour and rushing at the fairy's position!

And a mighty leap for a tackling embrace! It's time for phase one.

"!" recognizing your voice she quickly turns to prepare for your attack. "RUMIA!" her arms are spread out and she's ready for phase two.

"Fear the shadow in the dark, the one that devours your hopes and dreams!" Your arms connect and Dai spins you around.

"Beware the queen of the lake, the one that drowns your ambitions and fill you with despair!" with enough momentum she throws you up.

"But it's too late! You cannot run! You cannot hide! This is the end of the line!" You land with a twirl.

"For team 9 is here! team 9 is here! " Both of you say and do your amazing sentai pose before separating and laughing your hearts out. That greeting never gets old.

It doesn't matter if everyone's watching in stunned silence.

If you see a member, you play it BIG or go home.

"Heeeey~ what have you been up to Rum? I haven't seen you for days"
Dai asks with one friendly arm around your shoulder, she's a head taller than you so she has to lean down a bit.

"Nothing much, just going on an adventure and all~" you try to be humble.

"What kind of adventure? I want to hear everything" but Dai inquires.

So, you elaborate "Seeing new sights, meeting new people, making my own incident to cover the world in darkness to spite and perhaps scare the Forces that are Anon with pesticide as a plan B, eating yummy things and overall have a good time with my pals. What of you?" you grin at her afterwards, laws of conversation demand she answers back.

"Sounds like a fun time, I'd join but I'm busy right now" she nods with that yes yes energy and did NOT answer.

"Also the correct term is genocide" somehow correcting that sounds important to her.

"It's pesticide" you correct the correction but that aside her unaswering heresy must be punished.

"Also I didn't invite you" you say coldly and stare at her in disgust "Why are you assuming things?"

Daiyousei's eyes widen in surprise "Oh? in that case don't mind what I said...you have fun" and her voice becomes a bit wounded. That's what she gets for acting coy.

"Just kidding!" You rib her side with your arm and smile again "Come on, you should know you're always invited. If I were a club for cool kids then you wouldn't need to get on the list, you'd be sent straight to the VIP room!"

And now she's confused "Ah? Ah of course you would yeah" but quickly cheers up "Of course you would!"

"Now answer the question" you reply as you tip an imaginary hat "How are you doing?"

"Pretty good, just a sec" She prepares her words carefully "I've just been trying out some harmless new stuff. Not that I'm unsatisfied with my life or anything but the whole wasting my days doing nothing more than pranks and beating people up is starting to feel a bit repetitive...so I'm trying out new things! to get some more spice in my life and all. You get what I'm saying?" her casual tone has a tiny defensive edge behind it as in the I'll bash your head open with a rock if you make fun of me kind.

"Not really, pranks and beatings are fun~ but if that's what makes you uh happy or whatever then go for it? It's your life and your choices, who cares if someone understands that. Just do your best and if anyone disapproves then I'll eat em!" soul whatever stuff sounds awfully complicated, but friends help each other.

Dai nods to that "Heh, thanks for the kind words. You do your best as well~" and pats your back.
She smells a bit weird, like she put on perfume, but she doesn't look to bad in that maid uni-

Hold on a moment, something isn't right here and it's not the fact that the vampire is still talking about how amazing she is while standing right behind you. Whether she knows you're ignoring her is a mystery.

You toss the Maiden Doll over your shoulder in hopes it will exorcise her away.

But back to what's important: Something is wrong with Daiyousei.

Daiyousei is someone you would describe as an half-orc in a fairy's body: she'll beat up anyone that gets under her skin and is fiercely loyal to her friends. Also, she's got the record for most amounts of fairy raids and has become one of the most respected pepper among fairies even if that doesn’t really mean much to you or anyone else since that’s like being king of the rats. Also she's easy as hell to tease if you know her buttons. But no sane stranger should try it.
She likes to act calm and mature but you should see her combat face, that is the real person inside of her.

Only friends have the privilege of pissing each other off without some hands being thrown as a result.

Anyway she's not the type to wear anything that she doesn't like.

So why is she wearing a maid uniform? Has she gained some massive debt and is repaying it with her body?
Is this her secret civilian alter ego she had all along? Sometimes Maid sometimes Fairy?

"Why are you wearing a maid uniform?" you figure asking her will give an answer.

"Why are you covered in blood and have a chainsaw for an arm?" she asks back quickly.

"Life is like a pot of beans, sometimes you get sweet ones, other times salted ones and rarely chainsaws"
You don't want to admit your past mistake the same way someone won't boast about forgetting their keys.

"I was going to say that life sometimes brings funny chances, but your analogy sounds tastier..."

"So why do you have a maid uniform?"

She ignores the question again "Speaking of tasty things, I could take a break right about now. Do you wanna go snack with me in the break room?" and blatantly tries to distract you with another subject.

"So why do you have-" you get interrupted by a sensation on your back, like someone tapping it.

It's the vampire again, her arms are on her sides and her eyebrows are raised. She demands to know why you haven't been listening to her great speech about who she is and the history of this fine establishment. She points a finger at you and does a tsk tsk motion with a I am in control smile on her face, something my my oh how barbarian and how if you continue acting this rude then she reserves the right to just kick you out. And bla bla bla who cares.

Give me a break lady, can't she tell you're not interested in her anymore? You've got greater goals to achieve.

"So why do you ha-" Daiyousei, having critically failed her perception check doesn't seem to have noticed the vampire this whole talk and puts her hand on your mouth with a glimmer of annoyance.

Which quickly becomes panic at first, then fear for a few seconds, relief once she recalls that she did nothing wrong and finally confidence in how she should instead be rewarded "Mistress! I see you've woken?" she states the obvouis.

The vampire says no, that she died ten years ago in a accident and that Daiyousei should move on.

Daiyousei doesn't seem sure whether to laugh or stay silent and changes the subject to her success.

You lose interest in the following conversation, why care about cool things you didn't do?

You start to daydream about the food that might be in the kitchen and wonder if eating counts as a chore.

You quickly decide that yes it counts since it helps against wasting food which is a good thing.

The fairies that remained pick up the frozen cat-goblin thing and move on to be elsewhere, a few remain while saluting the moment the vampire arrived in the low chance that either of the two needs something.

You notice that the fairies are wearing green or blue uniforms while Daiyousei's is orange.

You notice that you're starting to feel bored again and wish for a glass of water.

This makes your genius mind come to a revelation: Is water wet? you define that since being wet counts as being touched by water and since water cannot touch itself...

That this is a dumb question, and you should something productive instead.

Like getting yourself something yummy to eat. No pressure~

Get those nom noms.

[X] Get some Food and Chores done. Shake Dai out of the stupor and ignore the vampire.
[X] Inform the vampire that you're in the middle of hanging with a friend. What does she not get by that?
[X] No-one is paying attention to you; this is the perfect moment to slip out and do something else. Sneaky Rumia
[X] Hold on a moment if vampires make other vampires by biting. What happens if a not vampire bites a vampire?
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[x] Wait out the dumb conversation they're having, Dai clearly needs some kind of help.

>>Bite Remi
Another time, perhaps.

I'm having fun with this mini-side arc, though I do feel like we are meandering somewhat (not that we weren't before).
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Rumia is definitely meandering yeah, if by that you mean aimlessely wandering around to try and achieve something in a roundabout manner.
(It's the definition google gave me).

One of the goals you've decided to have: Cover the land in Darkness is not impossible but rather something you're really going to have a hard time doing on your own. (How would you even get the strenght or tool needed to achieve that?)

There is also the obvouis consequences of what could happen if some people grow aware you're trying that and decide they like their sunny days. (But only if you're like actually making progress towards it, otherwise they'll just think you're bluffing or even laugh at the concept).

You're free to change your approach to it (Like seeking aid from someone who might know how to do that, and convincing them to actually help).

Or to change your goal entirely if you get bored of it or decide that trying something else is more efficient.

Even something as simple as "I just want to get my friends together, get my arm back to normal and celebrate my birthday without all this anon nonsense" is a perfectly valid goal to pursue.

Also the fact that time is kept track off whenever it's possible isn't just flavour: It means it ain't infinite.

After a certain amount of time has passed, the adventure will simply end. If you've achieved nothing in the meantime then too bad life goes on whether or not Rumia is satisfied by it.

(That would count as a boring end, but even then you'd have to go out of your way to like choose to do nothing ).

Finally just to be honest:

>Decide you want to cover land in darkness
>Approach Sdm since they did that with mist
>Not too bad of an idea, are yo-
>Bash into Remilia's bedroom
>Leaves immediatly afterwards/Chooses disrespect
> Profit??

I don't see the logic behind that or I'm reading too deeply into it.

You can definitely do that and just try to get Dai and Meiling before going somewhere else but it sounds counterintuitive to what you're trying to do goal wise. (Not that the SDM is the only option to sponsor your "Darkness Without Borders" Project but still).

Either way most of the journey depends on your actions but you can definitly achieve something if you put the time, effort and planning into it.

Also genuflecting is always an option, it's a pretty silly thing but it's the closest thing to a hint system you've all got. (You can always ask something to me directly and I will say something back).

With that said, I am enjoying writing this for you anons and am mostly curouis aboutwhat you're going to do in the situations you find or create.

And for now goodnight, and I will update tommorow.
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Awake and ready. Expect an update in a few hours.

Back to the subject above: Honestly I'm not sure if I'm doing the pacing that well (Flying around aimlessely is totally a Rumia attribute believe it! is not an excuse).

The whole ex-rumia cover land in darkness was definitly not in the first draft but I'm rolling with it for now since why the hell not, what could go wrong?

Lots of stuff actually and now I need to write that stuff down and plan and yada yada give it time

What I am trying to convey is:

-You've got the freedom to go wherever you want and finish some side arcs before seeing more of the mainplot. (Like getting allies slash stuff).

-I'll only railroad the thing if you ever end up in a state of just doing nothing to progress nothing.
(As in you don't softlock yourself into a state of just abandoning every potential arc you found).

-Stuff is happening even when you're not around to see it. Like Reimu might be solving the incident rn or is busy with a get rich scheme/ Kourin may still be chilling at his shop or have gone somewhere else.
(So even if you revisit a place, it might have changed)

-You can try to solve the incident, ignore it or even make your own. Your actions though insignificant at first can change the outcome via baby steps.

I apreciate the time you take to vote in this story and am happy to hear that I'm doing something right if you're enjoying parts of it.

Until the next update.
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Totally paying attention
You decide to pay attention to their conversation, for some reason.

Said reason being that Dai clearly needs your help, you're not sure exactly what kind of help she needs but just in case she might need some you'll be right there!

You take a step closer to the two and unfocus your gaze, give a relaxed smile and drool a little bit to give off the amazing illusion of someone's who's not listening.

And use their lowered guard to commit the greatest crime of all: Eavesdropping.

The darkness is everywhere, be careful for it can hear your whispers~

Now let's hope that their boring talk won't make you fall asleep.

"So I came to the conclusion that if its speed is it's main asset then I just have to find a way to turn that into his weakness" Dai is already recounting her past victory with a proud look on her face, walking at the same time "Hence the ice traps! if we divided ourselves and slowly sealed of each path the thing could take then eventually it'd end up stuck using the same path over and over. And that path we just fill with th-" sure sounds boriiiing~

The vampire is listening attentively while flying backwards at the same time. "I'll admit, that's quite the impressive plan you've concocted in such swift time~" she hums in affirmation with one eye closed and her hand on her cheek while still looking super comfy in the air "You really are as competent as Sakuya made you to be, keep this up my little Dai~" she pats her teasingly.

Daiyousei doesn't stammer into a blush or anything like that, instead she gladly accepts the pat with a smile and becomes more boisterous "You got it Mistress! I'll prove your faith in me is not undeserved!"

The Vampire's smile becomes less a I-know-everything smile and turns into an of-course-my-friend kind of smile "Big words are easy to say, prove that resolve with your actions instead kay?".

The atmosphere changes from an employee trying to chat with their overly friendly boss in an awkward manner to that between two friends. "Of course, who do you think I am? this is just the beginning~" and she looks the vampire straight in the eyes "'Just you watch" and oozes confidence.

And the rest of the conversation seems to just be the Vampire doting on Dai while she returns it with genuine admiration...you feel left out of their conversation now. Did they forget about you?

Heck, you don't even know their history or where we all are even going right now!

You're not pouting right now; you don't feel jealous at all.

"Would you like to have breakfast Mistress? You've awoken quite early today" bla bla bla

You’re not having a daydream in which you unlock your TRUE POWER and start your world conquest by defeating this vampire first and foremost. You don’t have a giant chainsaw capable of cutting a mountain half while holding a blade that's got the sun sealed inside of it in the other.

And you can’t dual wield both to create a flaming chainsaw of mega destruction.

"By the way, your friend here stinks. You should give them a change of clothes" ignored.

Nope, you're just a cute innocent little girl thinking cute innocent thoughts.

"What kind of clothes though? I don't think we have anything her size"

Like uh, wait what do little girls like? Uuuh murder! and teddy bears!

".... Fufufufu, don't worry. I've got just the right thing for that~".

You're thinking of a wholesome teddy bear chasing people with a knife.

That'd be kind of amazing, it'd have the fear factor of having a knife and the cuteness factor of being a cute bear. Not to forget the irony of something soft stabbing you with something hard.

"Now we jump on 3" Nah, teddies can't jump 3 feet. "3, 2, 1" nor can the-

Hey! Why is there a green light?! Why is Dai restraining you?! LET GO OF ME YOU BA-
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Rumia is an one overly dramatic girl

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.... You feel empty inside.

You're not sure how to classify this kind of experience. On the one hand you're clean and even got back cleaner clothes than you had before. Not to forget your body has fully healed already.

But on the other hand, what they did has given you a new worldview.

Fairies and Vampires are the true evils in this world, Daiyousei was no exception.

.... Damn traitor, they're both looking so happy and refreshed. as if they did nothing wrong.

"Hello Rumia? Earth to Rumia?" the green demon speaks "Come on don't do the dot dot dot!"

Oh sure, act worried with that beaming smile on your face why don't you?

You're on a balcony now by the way, it's red like everything else in this place and there's a small throne that the Vampire is barely floating above on with an umbrella to protect from the sun.
She also has a red wine glass; you don't remember her picking up one. there's a small table for it.

"Don't bother the girl, can't you see she's shell shocked? Give the weak some time to recover"

Lady, you just watched everything with a bloody smile!

There may be more stuff like a few fairies flying around nearby but right now nothing else comes to mind other than the urge to...well just beat up certain individuals.

Not to the death mind you, heavens no. Just the usual beating between gals...A hard beating

You wonder if you could challenge both to a full contact spell card duel (Ze fighting games) but don't think your chances would be that big. Hell, you might even struggle with one of them.

Even so, you vow to get back at those bastards. Rumia will remember this.

"Anyway, where's my breakfast? I require nourishment if I am to grace this day with my presence" the vamp asks with a click of the fingers "Dai, do go bring us both some meat to consume"

Daiyousei gives a salute "Of course, one lungeon coming up. I'll be right back!" and looks at you again for a short moment while she opens the door.

"Sorry, we overdid it" and she leaves like a coward.

Leaving both you and the vampire alone in the same room...

Do not make eye contact, do not make eye contact, you don't want to talk to her.

"Daiyousei is such a good girl, isn't she?" DAMMIT "She's the first person to have accepted this gig yknow? Not only that but in just a short amount of time she became one of the most competent maids we got here only surpassed by the Devil Dog. With her in tow my favourite pupper can finally have some free time for herself and as if by miracle the fairies are respecting her too fufufu~"

Ah, it's even worse than that. She's about to monologue again! "Okay so what?" you hiss back.

The vampire giggles again and swirls her glass as if to seem enigmatic "Relax, I hold no malice towards you. If anything, I feel for you the same way I do for every fool on the road" then she looks at you with only one eye open "But hey I know how it is, losers do hate the winners now don't they? "

"..." She really went and said that now.

[X] You're not better than me! I'm going to become number one!
[X] You don't need to hear this if that's all then You're leaving.
[X]...Okay so what if you're better than me? I'll just have to surpass you~
[X] Write in.
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Forgive me, writefag, for I was blinded by the fumo in the moment of importance! We have now been punished with BRIGHT clothing.

(It also slipped my mind that we can ask Remi about the mist at any time. Speaking of,)

[X]...Okay so what if you're better than me? I'll just have to surpass you~
Remi likes interesting things, so let's give her something interesting.
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uuh okay
...Shit just got real.

It's a challenge, a challenge to make her take those words back.

If you get riled up, you'll only be made fun off. If you say nothing, then that's the same as admitting it.

There's no miracle answer here, you know it, she knows it, and we each know that we know that.

But you're not the patient sort, never have been and say the first thing that comes to mind:

'"...You're right, compared to you I'm nothing" your feet suddenly look fascinating.

The Vampire doesn't say anything, you can hear her take a small sip of her drink but nothing more.

"You've got this amazing mansion, I live in whatever cave I can find, you have servants that respect and admire you, I get bullied by fairies, you are one of the most powerful youkai out there and I... I could be turned into a bloodstain the moment you feel like doing so. We are not the same" You're feeling strange, lightheaded even, but this isn't the time for that.

This isn't the time to be weak, you must be strong! confident! believe in yourself!

Because what else can you do? "Even so, I won't stop! it doesn't matter how hard or how impossible something is supposed to be, I'm going to keep trying because I'd rather regret doing something than doing nothing...if that makes me a fool then so be it, I'll be the fool that does the impossible!" Give up? You'd rather die.

After the sip she looks at you again with the same neutral smile, waiting for you to get to the point.

You point at her dramatically "And that includes surpassing you! I'm going to find out a way to become stronger, faster and meaner than every single person that stands in my way! I'm aiming for the top!"

"And I'm standing in your way how exactly?" her tone turns unamused "You're the one that approached me" the air becomes a lot a hotter as she takes out a spear to fiddle with.

"Oh yeah, I stole your doll too~" those were fun times, good times.

"Yes, you did. The point of which you have yet to reveal by the way" and she still remembers~

"Oh, there was none other than...it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside? it made a good hostage too"

''So, to clarify, you entered my room to steal from me as well. That's another thing to put on the record and what else did you? go on do say it, you've almost reached the quota too~" The Vampire sips her drink again, weapon still drawn.

"What quota? Am I being rated or something?"

"Oh, it's nothing special, just me making a mental note of what kind of punishments I inflict on those who enter my mansion without permission, insult me personally and destroy my property all for a fuzzy feeling".

"Oh, that sounds terrible. I'd hate to be one of them. What are you going to do?" you pity the intruder.

And now she's amused again "My god, you're dense. What does Dai even see in you?"

"Firstly, rude and secondly I don't think she could see anything inside unless she were to cut me open. Which sounds very unpleasant and is something I won't let happen naturally. Sorry to dissapoi-gurgh!"

There's a very unpleasant sensation in your chest, like a hot knife entered your butter like body.

Wait never mind, there's no knife or anything. Just a clean shaped hole at your chest, blood has yet to leak out.

"Just a second, my heart exploded out of nowhere" you plug the hole with your thumb and wait for it to heal.

"H-huh, usually that kills humans" the vampire replies with the never-ending smirk "Why are you not dead?"

You helpfully provide the answer "Not human, so no human organs duh wait never mind I do have lungs, livers and all that fun stuff but if it like gets ripped off or anything which I'd like to say really hurts I won't die from it. It's uh youkai and all that spiritual stuff, can't die if the way of something holds no spiritual meaning behind it like exorcisms and complicated gizmo stuff". But she should already know of that, it's common knowledge.

She sounds confused for a moment "But you've got the stench of-" but quickly reverts to a position power "Ah...Aaah it all makes sense now".

Then she just stays quiet with an all-knowing smile and takes a breather.

You just stare awkwardly and remove your hand once the skin closed itself again. "What makes sense?"

Her gaze comes over you again, interest shining in them again "Tell me, do you have any powers I'm not aware off?"

Other than making stuff dark, the saw on your hand and some spell cards the answer is "No?"

She insists anyway with the questioning "Really, the ribbon on your head doesn't do anything either?"

...Funny enough, people have asked that question before "Don't know, can't touch it but I'm certain it won't make my boobs bigger or give me wings of hell" same for the opposite "And adding more ribbons won't turn me into a baby".

No, you can't see the darkness inside people's hearts.

No, you can't turn into a shadow and warp to other dark places.

No, Nope, Nada, Zimbo. Nothing she says is something you can do reliably.

You can make places darker though, you're good at doing that and napping.

"Huh, you're really just an ordinary youkai then? Fascinating...every time that girl mentioned you, she was always so positive about it: How you're always cool headed and relaxed no matter the situation and value your own peace above everything else to the point of hedonism those are her words not mine, or it's the message she conveyed.

Anyhow imagine my surprise when I finally see you myself and you're completely different! You're just so...you" she waves her hand around in a meh fashion "Not that I mind...here in Gensokyo, people that are everchanging are the most interesting ones, at least from my point of view. I've seen enough static gods, demi-gods, youkais, fairies and magicians then I can count. So, your kind is more than welcome here" she finally puts the glass down.

...You're starting to get a bit wary of her, one moment she's all friendly, the other she seems to be giving you threats and it's never clear if she's smiling because she's happy or if she's got another reason. "So, when will Dai come back?"

Your question is ignored, since she's not done talking "Besides you being an ordinary youkai...you feel all the things an ordinary youkai would come to feel" Yes, the air is made of air "You fear things, you get sad, you laugh, you look a lot like her, you cry and dance at the song we call life. beings such as myself, we don't appreciate the small stuff you do sometimes. But I guess that's what happens when you live as long as we d-" you feel like you have to intervene.

"Can we skip the monologue? you've been doing a lot of them and wasn't fun the first time" you ask it every nicely.

"Fufufu, how impatient~ but fine, to make the matters short: Do you want to play a game?"

''Depends on the game, as long as it's not hide and seek" besides it's bright outside and you've got a job to do.

"You said you intent to become more than what you are now? That you intend to surpass even me?"


"Okay not Cirno, here's the quick message: There's no shortcut for power, I can't turn you into some powerful vampire or give you a convenient McGuffin to unleash your true power or what have you other methods fiction has nowadays but...

I have the power to change one's fate, that is to say I can grant whatever wish you have. Power, Wealth, Love, Fame...any and all of it can be yours if you beat me in a simple game. I am bored after all, and since I'm awake now I might as well use the extra company. Beat me and I will give you whatever you want"

"What if I lose though?"

"Lose and.....Fufufufu~ you don't want to lose".

"Uh okay, so what would we play then?"

"I'll tell you if you accept, the uncertainty making you squirm is more fun after all. We'll see if you're truly as bold as you make yourself to be now~" the girl closes her eyes again and looks completely at peace.

This is going to be a long day.

[X] Accept, no risk ventured, no reward gained.
[X] Refuse, you don't need her help. You'll be fine.
[X] Just leave the room, let's get out of here.
[X] Write in.
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[X] Accept, no risk ventured, no reward gained.

What could possibly go wrong? Surely this is a good idea.
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You think about her offer for a few seconds, seriously thinking for once.

Which isn't easy, your attention is like super easy to take away. If someone threw a bouncing ball, you'd be too busy looking at i-bird! You can see a bird in the sky!

Wait never mind, it's nothing special. Just some bird who's name you don't know.

You'd shoot it down so you can eat it, but lunch is already on the way, so you don't bother.

Anyhow back to the deal thing: you're not smart enough to refuse it but not dumb enough to accept it eagerly.

You think deals with the Devil typically don't end well in most stories.

And uuuh...you know what? never mind all that. You've got everything to win here!

If you win then you get everything you ever want, you're not sure if that really means everything as in all your wishes but you have a lot that you'd like to be fulfilled!

Eating all the anon, getting Wriggle back, envelop the world in darkness and get enough strength so no one can take something from you ever again or stand in your way!

You want all those realized! you're certain that if she can at least help achieve one of those then...

It'd be all worth it, not like you got anything to lose here.

"Challenge Accepted!" you shout with a dramatic finger point, and the lifting of your glasses making them shine a bit under the reflection of the sun like the epitome of dark lordyness you are.

"Very good~" The Vampire keeps her eyes closed, a red aura appears behind her, and you swear you can see her flicker into a blur for just a second before she reappears holding a bunch of cards.

You find yourself standing in front of a chair with a table, table already being there but the chair came out of nowhere. Before you can ask a question or make a remark about it, she asks you if you're familiar with card games, things like poker and such.

Not really, other than danmaku you haven't bothered to learn any of em.

Good luck finding a solid bunch in the middle of the woods anyway, and even if you went and borrowed some from Rin-chan there'd be no guarantee that the cards aren't damaged.
And not to forgot finding someone to play with and all that stuff, so yeah you don't do that.

"Just a no would have sufficed" she says disappointed as she looks at you with one eye open again, except this time her crimson eyes shine eerily as their normal iris has been replaced by that of a predator. This trigger your instincts and has them shout at you to leave or else you will die or suffer a worse fate than it if she decides that making you suffer is more amusing. You couldn't stop it either way.

"Any other game we can play?" You smile and try to repress them, the aura of death behind her isn't real, you've faced a lot of scary things before and feeling this way is beneath you.

She notices your attempt at not pissing yourself and closes the eye again with a satisfied hum
"Forgive me, I was just teasing you there~" She takes out some coins and puts them on the table.

They're all made of solid gold and have a spear surrounded by wings as an emblem.

"Do you know what surface tension is?" The vampire puts down her cup on the table, it is filled to the brim with...something, it doesn't smell like blood. "Neither do I but take a seat and I'll explain what you do need to know~" her wings are stretched out and she seems excited.

You take a seat, are a bit surprised by how comfy the thing is and wait for her to continue.

"All right, let's get this show on the road" she points to the cup "As you can see it is filled to the brim with wine. We will take turns putting coins inside the cup and the one that makes it overflow loses. From my estimation the cup can hold in around....10 or 14 coins give or take".

"How is that so?" You tilt your head in confusion "That's a lot of coins for such a small cup..."

"Doesn't matter how, as long as you're very careful while putting them in then 10 should be able to get in at the very minimum. Of course, if it ever reaches 14 then we'll stop playing and choose to do a tally. That means whoever put in the most coins won, you can put in more than 1 by the way" the vampire takes slowly and clearly to make sure you understand everything. "Did you get all that?"

You nod yes "Put coins in cup, if it falls, I win so be rough on it"

"No, that's the opposite. Put the coins in very very carefully so the drink won't spill" she corrects you with some mild annoyance. "And be sure to not spam putting only one coin in, or you'll lose once we tally the count. So, it's a mix between caution and risk taking. Between patience and courage, discipline and willpower. Let's go see if you've got anything resembling that~

Oh and just a few more things: I'll let a tie be considered your win too since this is your first time, however I'll put in a timelimit of 5 rounds so you can't put 1 coin in forever or capitalize on the latter".

You look up "So, you want me to..." and look her straight in the eye "Stick my neck out, but within moderation lest I'd be digging my own coffin and that'd be batty" and cannot help the smile on your face.

She pauses for a moment and just stares at you with the dry look "What? "

You raise your hands like finger guns, not nervous at all "Well yknow, the good old vampire puns?"

She's still not laughing "I've not been made aware of modern comedy no, what did you mean by that?".

"The..." you do your best to explain the jokes "Cause you're a vampire and all that".

"...." you're met with silence as she looks up for a moment "Fhohohohohon~" and lets out genuine mirth "That IS funny indeed! stick my neck out pffufufufufufufu~" she giggles for a while too.

Encouraged by this, you continue the pun barrage...if it wasn't for someone coming in.

"The food is ready!" Daiyousei comes back with a cart holding down food that seems and smells delicious.

She walks over to the both of you and puts the food on the table, the meal seems to be some sort of cooked meat with some salads on them alongside a dessert of pudding nearby, overall, a basic menu now that you think of it, you kind of expected something more extravagant.

"There's more coming soon, don't worry about that" Dai reads your mind and then goes ahead and just floats calmly in place next to you two, in case some services are needed and because she wants to hang out with you. At least you hope so, but of course she would since you're awesome.

Well then, it's time to dig in! you reach out for the meat so you can devour it whole.

But your hand is slapped away by the vampire "You can eat after we are done playing" and she shoves some coins in your hand before taking one herself and dramatically twiddling it "I'll start with 2~".

She holds the coins with her thumb and index finger, concentration appears on her face as she makes sure not to do any unnecessary gestures as the coins touch the tip of the cup. "This may look easy to do but one mistake...one simple mistake is all takes to ruin everything. But that won't happen here".

She drops it in, the insertion makes a ripple on the water and...it doesn't spill.

Daiyousei sees this and turns to you "You're playing a game with the Mistress" she says as if it's a bad thing "Do you even know what this means? she's a master of this game and once you lose, she'll-".

"Miss Daiyousei, you will be silent" The Vampire interrupts looking very unhappy with her warning.

But Dai protests back with a frown on her face "All respect where it is due, you can't possi-"

The vampire looks like she wants to slam the table but doesn't and instead gets up and hisses at Dai with the same level of intensity " ARE YOU THE MISTRESS OF THIS MANSION? " without even shouting. Just the authority behind her voice and the glare is enough.

Daiyousei doesn't respond for a second, but begrudgingly folds "You are, my lady"

"And who are you?" The vampire doesn't seem satisfied.

"I am your servant my lady" Dai replies with frustration.

"Then be quiet and do not interrupt us any longer" The vampire's anger abated, she turns back to you. "Apologies for the display, don't mind all that and do draw your coins. Let the best person win~".

The coins and cup lie in front of you, whether you succeed or not is all up to you.

[X] Insert how many coins?
[X] Anything else you want to do?
[X] Anything you want to ask/say?

Gonna repost the Win and Fail conditions here again.

Win: -Remilia spills the drink, -You put in more coins than her , -You get a tie.

Fail: -You spill the drink, -She puts in more coins than you, -5 rounds have passed and you still haven't finished.

-If anyone is caught cheating, they're instantly disqualified.
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[x] Put in three coins.
The simple strategy would be to go 3,2,1. This would be the naive strategy for if Remilia puts in 2 every round. However I don't believe we can win this, because,

[x] Ask Remilia if she can just control fate to win.

This is the problem Dai is referencing. The current situation I can't think of a way out of this dilema, because no matter what the leeway of four coins is enough to be fated in her favor.

I'll be real, I never expect the obvious games of chance. I always think it's gonna be some skill thing.
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[x] You are hungry. Swallow the tea, cup and all. Also eat all the coins. Gold coins like this are supposed to have chocolate in them right?

Swallowing the tea isn’t cheating, because you are supposed to swallow tea. We lose if we spill the tea, but the tea hasn’t been spilled, it has been drank (drunk?) (drinked?) (whatever). And eating all the coins means we put more coins into our tea filled stomach than Remi did.
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Too sleeepy to do a tie breaker dojo rn.

Both are pretty good votes, so I'll roll a die tommorow if no tiebreaker has come up during that time.


Sounds like you're playing the game legit, and that works in a way I guess though there's no garantee she'll only play 2 coins every time.

I guess if you were to think of the worst case scenario then you'd need to at least get 7 coins in to make it a tie but that in itself demands a risky manuever or she may just see what you're aiming for and almost fill the thing to the brim, you never know.

Also the question is a valid one, and that would be answered in the update rather than here.


That is such a Rumia way to think, and I really cannot say anything more than how that is hilarous as hell and may either work or massively backfire depending on how Remilia takes it.

For now goodnight and see ya'll tmrw.
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[x] You are hungry. Swallow the tea, cup and all. Also eat all the coins. Gold coins like this are supposed to have chocolate in them right?

this is such insane idea, I like it
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Hmmm, you wonder if this counts as gambling?

You put a coin in the cup, if cup does not sp-then oh who gives a carp?

You’re hungry and you want to eat, but you can’t eat until you’ve played the game.

You can’t wish for food and then play the game, that makes no sense buuut.

If you can’t do x or y, then all you have to do is do z

Therefore: Eat the Game= You won’t be hungry, and you’ll win the game of life!

If you’re lucky, the coins might have chocolate in them too~


You pick all of the coins and the cup itself; its water moves a bit but doesn’t spill.

“Oh my, are you actually going to?” The vampire gains a sparkle in her eyes as she leans forward and does her best not to touch the table

“An all or nothing? I would have never expected such guts from you~” and sits back with one leg over the other “Are you certain about that decision though? While courage is admirable, something foolhardy as brute forcing a test of chance can simply ruin everything as well…or do you perhaps believe in yourself that much? Are you that confident in your cause that you’re willing to bet life, body and soul in the one victory needed to reach it? I- “and she continues monologuing to her own delight while you sniff the drink like a dog sniffs a tree.

Dai however says nothing and doesn’t need to since her coloured drain face says everything.

You put the cup away from your face, it doesn’t smell like poison or anything like that.

“-And that’s all to say the odds are close to 1% the chance of you beating someone favoured by fate itself is close to night but- “and you don’t care about what she says.

Who cares about Fate or Probabilities or Logic? You’re going to do what you always do!

Be yourself, the one and only Rumia and right now she’s one thirsty girl!

You put the cup in your mouth and swallow it whole, alongside the coins, the prepared food itself and the table it stands on! You devour everything like the ancient jaws of an elder god snapping down on the last bastions of humanity as every struggle, every resistance is met with overwhelming force as meat is ripped apart, wood is smashed into blunts and metal joins the void inside of you.

Your Fey friend is aghast in silence while the vampire watches bemusedly, but you care not for their mortal minds as you swallow the last scrap and let the inner gasses leave you via a roar from the mouth and voila! You are done!

The vampire recovers first gets up and demands an explanation. Eating the thing does not count as a proper way to play the game, has the pressure made you go insane?

Foolish girl, running the bell for such semantics. ISN”T IT OBVOUIS?!

Swallowing the tea isn’t cheating for that is its destined course, besides the loss condition was to spill the tea via putting a coin inside of it, there is no rule against putting the cup inside of you.

Not only that, but with all of the coins inside of you. You got the high score, and she does not!

Therefore you win not only the game, you also win at life! and that ladies is a true victory~

The vampire gives you the look an elder would give a baby, condescending pity. And explains that things don’t work that way, and that with that logic all she needs to do is put more coins inside of-

Nu-uh you interrupt, the coin count starts at 14 coins, and you’ve already put that many in.

She says that’s dumb and that’s not what fate had designed in store for you.

You get up from the floor, look her dead in the eye and say “Does fate bring food in my belly? Don’t think it does! If I’m hungry then I eat, why learn the limit of what’s possible anyway? And they say knowledge is power…” clearly your dumbness is not dumb, it is enlightenment. The path to glory!

The Vampire stares at you, her body twitches for no reason and she covers her hand in front of her mouth as gets to one knee and shakes…before spitting out blood as a small quiet chuckle escapes her which grows louder and louder and more frightening as it begins to crescendo, filling the room with an evil presence as her malicious glee turns into demonic chittering: like a thousand of bat screeching at a disturbance all at once. She’s smashing the floor with her free hand left and saying things in language you don’t know off. She must be impressed by your bravery and smarts.

Daiyousei doesn’t laugh along, which frankly you find quite antisocial of her. It’s a common courtesy to laugh along with anyone who does, even if you don’t get the joke or what’s funny.

Whether you like the person or not doesn’t matter, it is the principle of the thing.

So, you laugh along with the vampire, a wise man you ate once said: laughs shared are friends made and you are having a good time despite you previous dislike of the girl.

This makes her only laugh harder, so you laugh harder back and oh how you two laughed.

Laughs shared are friends made is a correct statement after all since you can feel a bond grow: For someone who felt standoffish she sure knew her taste in tables, and sometimes some mahogany is all a girl needs. Not to forget that she sure has a respectable evil laugh. Villain respect there.

Sadly, all good moments must come to an end and after two minutes she stops laughing.

She gets up and apologizes for the outburst, “I haven’t laughed that much in the last 2 weeks” the vampire confesses offhandedly. After removing a tear from her eye and having closed the distance between you two she floats slightly higher so she can look down on you with a smile “You’re a moron you know that?” she says with mirth “but and don’t mind my rudeness, fucking hell are you the interesting kind of idiot~ And I can respect a source of amusement, so I’ll let this pass. You win”.

You rub your nose in satisfaction, anything else could not possible have happened.

There's no way that could have gone wrong, you are simply da best.

The Vampire tells you to close your eyes and concentrate.

"What do you want most?
What do you truly desire?
What needs to happen in order to make you happy?

Decide what that is and then open your eyes."

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We all know this one,


Make him proud.
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[x] My friend Wriggle alive and healthy, safe and sound here with me, and not possessed by an evil goop monster (or any other kind of monster for that matter).

Power? The world covered in darkness? All the Anons killed? We don't need Remilia's help with any of that nonsense. We can accomplish all that all on our own, because we are awesome like that. But we do not have the power to bring the dead back to life, so we might need help with that.
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[x] Wriggle.
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Wrigle be a bro
What do you want?

Such a question...could not be more obvious!

Strength that can grind mountains to dust! Speed that lets you cross the globe in a second!
An infinite range for the Darkness to spread! You want it all and so much more!

But all those are things you'll have to achieve on your own, or with true comrades.

Except there's one problem: Your best friend is dead, and you lack the power to revive them.

By best friend you mean Wriggle Nightbug, no one else comes even close that title.

Wriggle is the person you've known the longest in your life, whether it was a happy day or a sad day she'd always be there when you need her. Even death itself did not stop her.

Her words...you are certain you've heard them back then; she is waiting for you.

You don't remember your first meeting, nor do you think she does but semantics like that do not matter, you've got her back and she got yours.

Mystia sings nice songs and is someone you can leech free food out of, Cirno has always been the brave hero to face off against your dark lordyness and Daiyousie can always be relied on.

That still isn't a fraction, not a sand grain compared to...no that's wrong. You can't compare your friends against each other, all of them are great people. They're all your best friends.

And you won't let anyone harm them ever again! You'll gather them all and then the dark league reunited will take over the world. With all your powers combined no one can defeat you!

But first, you need to correct that mistake. The death of Wriggle Nightbug is UNNACCEPTABLE!

Dead people are dead when they die? NOT THIS TIME BUCKO!

Shatter that truth! Give her a second chance at life! That is your wish!

"I-I want Wriggle to return from the land of the dead, to rise back to life...vigorously! l-like the uh um p-fornix returns from the ash store! I wish to lay death itself!" you declare bravely and open your eyes.

"SO IT BE! " The Vampire replies as she throws a wine glass straight at the ground, it shatters with a satisfying sound as red liqu-hold on when did she get a second one? Th-

"WHAT?!" Daiyousei shouts as she picks you up by the throat with one hand "Wriggle is dead? when? why? how?" you do your best to reply but it's no use she's seriously not holding back.
Closed eyes and a warm smile cover her face as a fake veil to hide her surprise and anger.

You wonder if this is how you'll die except not and decide to just fl-wait no it's not gravity that's the problem here its her grip, she's holding your throat tight with an abnormal arm strength.

You kick her in the face to make her let go and start coughing on the ground while Daiy recovers from the kick faster. Immediately you roll out of the way to avoid a kunai shot and brace yourself.

"WHY DIDN"T YOU TEL MEEEE?!" For a battle with a pissed off Dai, you forgot she hates to be left in the dark and sees it regardless of intent as willful deception and on something this big...

She's going to bust your face in for sure "Danmaku, 3 cards and full contact!" not!

Let's do this!



Daiyousei lies on the ground with a bump on her head, it took a lot of effort and even the use of the boomer thing you wanted to give to her. The irony does not go under your head.

A greater fairy she may be, but she's yet to qualify for a boss like you are. Even so the way her danmaku trashed like a raging tundra, her short teleport kunai spamming combined with her relentlessly moving around the battlefield really felt like a dance of death and precision.

If it wasn't the for the blind spot that was melee that is, you could literally just rush towards her in a straight line, and you'd avoid most of the non homing shots before getting in a good hit. Using that basic strategy alongside having the boomer thing frantically fly around gave you the win.

That's totally how the fight went, it was not a close match and you definitly did not let Dai catch the boom thing only for her to use it better than you and make the fight much much harder.

No sir, you were awesome. Very awesome and that is the truth.

Actually you could have used danmaku, but you felt fancy, the burn wounds and injuries were worth it too since they give you manly battlescars.
Which is none at all, cause danmaku only leaves pain and intense soreness behind.

A soreness of the very badass kind then, oooh your arm hurts in such a cool and unique way.

"Ahem" the vampire coughs to signal her presence once she sees you're done.

You turn around and face with the same pose from earlier "My wish, can you fulfill it?"

"No" the vampire says bluntly and explains why with the info you've given her.

Youkai's do not die unless there's enough 'meaning' to their death, in this case being devoured whole so that there's nothing left counts as one of those exceptions.

Secondly being that Wriggle is an animal youkai, so she'd have an ever-lower chance of recovering from being destroyed. She might simply vanish into nothingness.

Thirdly it's been around 8 or 10 hours since she died and so she should already have been taken to Higan via the Sanzu river so her fate can be decided by the Enma unless the day is busy. (Which means she could have been sent to hell, the netherworld, heaven or just been reincarnated by now if you're unlucky).

Fourthly, without a body or even an object that's bonded to her soul. Resurrection would be nigh impossible to perform on her. Devil magic may be mighty but it's not reality bending.

"In conclusion, the only ways for you to bring her back would be to A- pull off an Orpheus by traveling to the Netherworld before your friend gets reincarnated or B-find something that's got a lot of value to her being so I can use it to attract her soul here and give her new flesh to posses"
The vampire ends the hard-to-understand monoblob with a shrug as she looks at you.
"Of course, that's assuming you even have the will needed to focus on one job consistently, and the determination to see things through...but hell, I'm eager to hear of it Cirnelle. I really do".

"My name is Rumia" You correct her.

"No, Cirnelle is more fitting. Cirno for moron and belle for beautiful. A beautiful moron is you~"


So, with that new info, what are you planning to do?

Daiyousei has recovered and is sitting on the ground in silent anger, trying to make sense of the bad news in her own way. You're not sure if you should leave her be or bring support.

You think and try to make sense of stuff, but it feels pretty complicated no matter how many times you repeat it to yourself to not forget.

Even so you know bringing Wriggle back is the right thing to do, she'd do the same for you.

All you need is a course of action or at worst a theory to follow. Anything is better than nothing.

So, what are you going to do? How will you bring your dear friend back to life?

[X] Plan A sounds fine; you'll make those suckers give you Wriggle back!
[X] Plan B it is, all you need to do is find something right? that'd be so easy!
[X] No, it is time for Plan C [write in]!

Any questions for Remilia or do you have more wishes? (Hell, just asking stuff alone is fine too).
[X] Yeah.
[X] Nah.
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Plan A sounds suicidal, better go with plan B

[X] Plan B it is, all you need to do is find something right? that'd be so easy!

and [X] Yeah.

[x]do the dolls on the slime anon count as an elegible object?

'' an amalgamation of Alice and not Alice is born before you, fierce wood like antennas are on its head now and two small dolls decorate it'' and ''You hope both Alice and Wriggle can be restored via the dolls'' are an obvios foreshadowing

[x]can she do the same to alice? marisa became a 'friend' and having both of them owning us something can only be good

[x] and lastly, is there a chance of them being revived with the anon's corruption?
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[X] Plan B it is, all you need to do is find something right? that'd be so easy!
We must also ask if Dai would want to join our quest.

Questions? [X] Yeah
Would something like a scrap of cape work?

I'm assuming that the fate wish is being held for the resurrection with red magic.
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good questions
===> Plan B: Obtain suitable summoning tool to invoke your bugged buggger bud

Yeah, that's the easiest thing to do, and sometimes taking the path of most resistance will only bring you more resistance and nothing else even if the screams of the damned would-be music to your ears.

Also, you don't know where this Sanzu River is or who this Yama is. That might be another reason.

Finally, the last reason would be because it sounds like a lot of work, not that you wouldn't work hard for your best chum but maaaaaan, taking the easy way out is just the best yknow? Screw hard work.

Having a solid even if temporary goal reassures you a bit, you know what you are fighting for, how to get what you want and possibly where to get it. That makes the adventure a lot better than aimless wandering with aimless fights only for more trouble to come your way for bla bla reasons.

Scratch the reasures a bit, knowing there's a chance to bring her back fills you with hope!

Just you wait Wriggle! I'm coming for you and noone can stop that!

====> Do the empty husks that anon left behind suffice?

You ask the Vampire whether that would count, she pauses for a moment and says yes afterwards with the kind of voice that makes you doubt it, she finds your lack of faith insulting.

Time for the counterattack: you stop blinking and let water come to your eyes. With a little bit of shade and glow manipulations you make your eyes look big like puppies with stars inside of then.

"Oh no, don't you dare" Realizing your intent the Vampire attempts to look away, but it is too late.

Eye contact has been established already, you quiver your lip and speak with the cutest, the most innocent voice you are capable off "I-is that true big sister?" and hold onto a sleeve of hers with your lil hand. Can she really deceive a little girl who totally looks up to her? One that looks like her faker?

She freezes, her cheeks turn pink "N-no-ngghh, you're not her. Stop this at once!" hmph.

You let go of her with an eep! kind of sound and look down embarrassed. Your cheeks have reddened as you turn around and give her the over the shoulder killer look "I'm sorry...do you hate me now?".

"Wench, I'll headpat you" the girl is trying to stop her hand from reaching your head "Last warning".

You stop immediately, the memory of your crimes against an innocent maiden reminding you of the dangerous and humiliating effects those can have on others. "DON'T! I was just joking!"

"Good" the vampire puts one hand on her face as she calms down "Truth is I don't know; you just go and fetch whatever you think is important to her and we'll see if it works. If not, then too bad".
(This counts for the scrap of cape question as well)

You refuse to be discouraged "I'll do my best anyway...there's no point in giving up beforehand"

"Godspeed to you Cirnelle, defying death itself is no easy task. At worst I can guarantee that you'll meet each other in your next lives...never mind that was impolite. Just do your best and fortune will come".
She replies with complete confidence in her words, her coolness fully restored.

"...Thank you for your kindness" you can tell she meant those words, maybe she is a good person.

"Pfah kindness? my heart is blacker than the flames of hell, say that again and not only will I change my mind, but I'll also crucify you, put you at the top of my clocktower and have the sun burn you alive"

...Uh sure, you'll never say that out loud again. She's still a superior youkai and all that gizmo.

===> What of the blonde weirdo who plays with dolls all day? Can she come back too?

Who? oh, OH! You completely forgot about her!

Yeah, you should probably try to get her back as well.


Even if it's possible, you don't feel like you have to since she's not important to you.

Sure, she's hospitable on occasions, but with her out of the way...she'l never food block you again.
No more humans that can run to her house for shelter or her happening to just wander at the right spot at the right time to save someone you totally should have gotten for lunch that stealing b-[redacted]

Yeah, you'd be happier with her dead, so why even try that? what would be worth the effort?

You guess Marisa would be sad, Alice was the main motivator of her short-lived working with you think.
Not to forget the rumours that came out after that one-time Alice slept at Marisa's house...not that you're judging or anything. Sure, it's weird and icky if true but magic is that in general.

Though for the sake of science, which one of them is the dominant one? You think it'd be Marisa since she's already boyish on occasions, but Alice tying her up with her strings does sound spicy.

You ask the Vampire for her opinion; she says she's more of a Marisa X Patchy shipper in jest.

Fair enough, though this makes you wonder...why not think bigger?

"You mean a three way?" The vampire puts an hand on her chin "I guess that's fine too, as long as one of them (Not Patchy) bleeds to death while the others make out. That kind of forbidden love turned into a twisted end filled with bloodshed would be nice to see, otherwise it's kind of an anticlimax don't you think?".

Yeah, the drama is the best part. The vampire really gets it. Bloodshed for life.

This would be the perfect part for Dai to play the straight man, but she's busy being sad. And though being sad is a weak sauce thing, you too were being very sad just a while, so you let her cope for now.

You can't deal with that kind of negative energy right now; it'd interfere with your enlightment. Besides everything will be all right once you bring Wriggle back so time mourning them is just wasteful.

You're strong like that, and ah shit she's crying now. You look away and think manly thoughts.

Hmm, that all aside you'd guess both Alice and Marisa would owe you a big one if you brought her back to life. That could be useful if anything it's better than nothing.

Fine, you'll do it, you'll try to get Alice back too. But the next time she dies she's on her own.

You inform the Vampire about your decision, she replies she never said she'd revive more than one person, pauses, and then says sure. What's an extra middle finger to the shinigamis anyway?

Well...with that all said and done, it is time t-

===> Would the corruption within them be reborn as well?

...You ask the Vampire that.

She replies it's a good question but doesn't know. Does she look like an anon encyclopedia? Hell, this is the first time she's even heard of one. She was just expecting a bunch of outsiders to come today to visit her for a fake job interview that would turn into an amazing death game for her amusement.

You ask her if that info was supposed to be confidential.

She says yes, but no one will believe you if you spread the word anyway. With all those questions done or maybe she got bored the Vampire bids you farewell as she will head to the library for more info.

To which you're not invited to, get the dolls, and come back but until get the hell out of her mansion.

She leaves the room gracefully, leaving you alone with your pal. Who's still being a baby.

...Guess it's time to go then.

To adventure and all that!

[X] To adventure! Where was that doll again? The witch has them!

[X] Hold on, gotta fetch a redhead first! You won't go away emptyhanded!

[X]...You can't explain it, you just can't leave Dai alone like that dammit!
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[X]...You can't explain it, you just can't leave Dai alone like that dammit!

I'm a sucker for the good fae, truth be told.

Also, I don't see why Meiling wouldn't come at this point if we told her that we're going on a quest given by Remilia to procure the items of two people to then tell the shinigamis to screw off. Like she'd pass that up.
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[X] To adventure! Where was that doll again? The witch has them

its our guest damnit, I wont share the exp
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[X]...You can't explain it, you just can't leave Dai alone like that dammit!

Just a couple of bros, going on an adventure to save a third bro. Possibly with the help of a 4th and 5th bro if we run into our bird bro and ice bro along the way.

Dai is smart and feisty. She can probably keep our chronically meandering ass on task if she comes with us.
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You keep your back turned to your pal and turn to leave.

===> Do not abandon the weakling in sorrow

...Do you have to? to be honest you don't deal well with crying girls.

You mostly point and laugh at them or are the cause of the crying in the first place.
Never the resolver or the person that like gives the nice calm down hugs and supporting words.

That kind of thing is left to Mystia, the Sunflower Lady and like other bigger girls who got people skills.
Sure, the nonconsenting word hell of the Cow Teach had like an... you forgot and don't really care.
Because making people suffer is fun, like seriously. Being a monster is a job you are proud off doing!

It is super fun...cause you're a youkai! and the uh whole feeding on fear and blood stuff gives you a natural predisposomething to inflict it on your preys.
Shooting people with danmaku is just an alternative healthier outlet, it brings all the pain and none of the death.

Buuuut~ it’s one you don't need to use on outsiders or people out at night, those are free game entirely.
So yeah, you don't know how to uh make people stop feeling miserable. It's like asking a drunk about moderation.

Besides she's safer here anyway, if she can't beat you then imagine how she'd fare against an anon. You don't have the time to babysit during your awesome quest and you don't want to risk losing another friend now do you?

Nor would she support any fun chainsaw massacres being a goody two shoes.
"No Rumia lower the chainsaw, don't make me say it a third time!" is what she'd say.
Buuut, you like your chainsaw! you want to rip out an anon's guts at least once with it!
"What did I say? Do I have to break your chin to make you understand? PUT. DOWN.THE. SAW."
And you'd reluctantly obey with a pout on your face, her kicks do hurt a lot...
"Good, now let's get back to the goal: We're heading to-" and you don't need to imagine the rest.

Not to forget she might ask questions, answers that would reveal that you...are responsible for it.
It was supposed to be harmless fun! being the only defence you have against that, which is a poor one.

She might start to hate you even, and then she'd tell the others and they would start to hate you as well.
And they'd be right to do so, so you're best off just bringing Wriggle back without their knowledge all sneaky.
Like her death never happened so you won't have to bother with these kinds of talks, like a real manly man does.
Afterwards you'll put them all in a safe place and commence your anon purge by covering the world in darkness.

That's right, you're being very manly by ignoring your crying friend. Wait is she still crying? You give her a glance.

Dai is on her knees, covering her face with her hand as tears and snot leave out of her every face orifice while a noise close to that of a drowning moose is dimmed by her hand covered mouth. She looks miserable.
And you caused all that with only a single sentence, the fact you might be lying or joking did not even come to her.

To think you can hurt people that badly with only words. Not to forget that somehow, you kind of enjoy this.
Despite your best intentions, a warm feeling comes to your body from this miserable sight. As if it's a reward.

It's almost comical how bad and good you feel right now, you're a terrible person and that's a good thing!
Sure, you didn't mean to, but there are plenty of times you did for other people. You can't just feel bad now!

So, continue being an asshole why don't you? Commit to something for once in your damned life!
Go on then do something you weak pathetic little annoying ketchup stain on a white t shirt! be the bad guy you so badly want to be!

Seriously what are you waiting for? hurry up and get to it! You don't have time to whine all day!
Don't let these pathetic distractions get to you! Are you not the darkness?!
Strength is everything! Those who allow themselves to feel emotion remain weak!
The only to win could not be more obvious! the only way to be the victor is...

To sacrifice everything for raw power! She who has power is the one that decides everything!

Hold on a moment...you feel like there's something on you. Someone's holding you from behind.

It's Daiyousei, she's hugging you in comfort "It's okay, you don't have to act strong in front of me. I'm not holding my tears back either" WHAT MAKES HER DARE THINK YO-"You're trembling, like usual. You suck at hiding stuff".

...Fine, you'll play along with her scenario "Boohoo, I am SO sad" and try not to show your indignation at being pitied by a fairy of all things "Like a little twiddle girlie who's weak. I'm so so weak!" you're totally not being sarcastic.

"Shut your damn mouth" She hugs you tighter "Crying does not make you weak. It simply shows that you are strong enough to know when to show your emotions" her voice is warm and comforting "Besides it's only us right now".

No, we're not, the occasional fairies that pass by the veranda have stopped moving and are staring at us.

You're not going to let them see weakness, no matter what she says. "Still not feeling anything!" you reply harshly
while ignoring the comforting sensation that's totally not there, enough of this introspective nonsense.

No one cares about feelings, the only ones that are cool are the thrill of victory and justified anger! nothing else!

"And I'm saying it's healthy to feel! So, stop being stubborn and let's comfort the shit out of each other!"
The greater fairy seems not to care and is not getting the message on how hardboiled you are now.

"I have no feelings! I'm the uncaring void between the spaces of reality! the starless night! pure evil!"
"No, you're not! who put that idea in your head? Did that rabbit offer you pills again? they're bad for you!"
"Shut up! You don't get to decide that! Also, no! I'm free to be whatever I want to be!"

The girl makes some weird noise, it's like a mix of a sigh and a huff. As if you're being unreasonable or the shouting hurts her ears.

Maybe both, but you admit having her shout down your ear isn't pleasant.

"No, you're not!" oh come on, doesn't she know when to give up?

"Yes, I am!" you reply and will repeat as many times as she needs to hear it.

"I said no you will not!"
"And I said yes I will!
"That kind of thought is dangerous!"
"And I don't care! I'm going to do it!"
"Ooh! gotcha!"
"Ooh indeed!"
"So, you have to stop now!"
"But you said yes!"
"That was a cheap move!"
"It counts regardless!"
"NO, it doesn't!"
"Yes, it does!"
"Screw you then! I'm coming with you!"

Daiyousei is now following you whether you want it or not!

You fly out of the veranda and land on the garden with Dai right behind you.
It's a garden, those have plants in them. Plants are not yummy and unimportant.

They do look nice though, oddly colourful bunch. Some are bloodred while others are snow white.
There are also like statues made of cut grass. Dai says it's a grass sculpture and Meiling did all this.

Props to her then, it seems like it'd take a whole lot of work. Kind of a useless thing to do though.
But you're not one to judge unless you were paid to do so which you're not.

Why do people pay others to tell them their stuff sucks anyway?

"That's another mystery for the world" Dai deadpans "So then, where are those dolls?" and gets back on track.

Marisa has them, but wherever she might be is a mystery.

"Guess finding that out is our new goal, let's try out Kourindou first".

You're fine with that, now you only must move to the entrance and recruit the redhead.

Red leaves fall from the sky, slithering and slathering like ships setting sail in the wind sea.

"Super poetic, but we're not even fall. Where are they coming from?" Dai tenses up.

"Just because they're not from the right season doesn't mean you should be so judgemental Dai~"

"That's not what I meant. Just saying that this garden has no tree...oh no"

Why do you s-You start to hear a strange low humming sound, like someone shouting their heart out in the distance.

''That is going to hurt a lot" Dai says and then gives you small wave "Good luck dodging" and teleports away.

You don't know what she's talking about and feel like you should look up.

You see big sturdy tree coming your way like a cannonball, on top of it is someone screaming their lungs out.
You can't really tell who exactly it is, but the shouting feels familiar and filled with a desire for vengeance.


Yeah, they don’t have wholesome intentions.

You take five steps to the left. Why bother taking it?

It is still coming your way, looks like it's a present meant just for you. Whoever's responsible must feel a lot for you.
Even got a barrage of red bullets condensed into larger variants like they're droplets of hate falling from the sky.

You never expected the trees to betray you, even though they've always stood in your way.

Guess you were right in thinking they're evil, that'll show all the fools who didn't believe you!

It's still coming your way though. No pressure you've taken plenty of trees in the face.

Never in the opposite way, but that doesn't lower your expertise in the least.

[X] Saw+Tree= Make a birthday cake and cut it.
[X] You should really dodge that, seriously. No joke.
[X] Accept the present, try to catch it with both hands.
[X] Make your peace with God and clench those teeth.
[X] Screaming is therapeutic, Scream for Meiling.
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With how much love and attention we're giving it, we're going to turn our own arm into a tsukumogami.

[X] Saw+Tree= Make a birthday cake and cut it.

Get anime as heck.
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You look at the tree coming your way, seems like getting hit by that would hurt.
Not to forget the lil missy on it and all the danmaku accompanying it.
But the tree itself takes priority; cause damn is it a biggy one.

It ain't no master spark though, so you see no need to worry.
The worst it can do is knock you out cold and you don't hate naps.
Sure, it'd hurt a bit, but that's life itself in a way, no one can avoid that.

Anyhow you'll just do the usual: Rip and tear the shit out of things that are in your way, seem to be in your way or if you just feel like doing it and don't think there's any big consequence behind it.

You raise your overly swollen arm above your head and await impact.
One second, two seconds, it's quite boring when time seems to slow down.
Then again, you're just acting spoiled now, it's not ever-oh it's time!

You turn the saw o-uh hold on a moment how did you do that again?
Just uh clench the hand as if you're making a fist and there it goes!
The Saw let's out its steel cry and a warm feeling comes over you!

oooooOOOOOOH YEAH, that's the JUICE!
There's no better feeling! You grit your teeth, stand your ground and SWING IT!
The saw makes impact with the tree, shards of wood and flickers of flames comes from the contact!

And it pushes you back! the tree is stronger than you! despite your immense willpower your saw is jammed into the thing!
Turns out that when you swing against a heavy object, you have to keep its weight and speed in mind! Who knew!
Even so you refuse to give up! your every muscle! your every being! You cannot lose to something this pathetic!

A green light appears, and suddenly the tree feels lighter than a feather as it is frozen in mid-air.
Weakened by this, your saw goes through it and makes it shatter into a million pieces!

You'd celebrate but realize just in time to realize the miss is gone, only to catch a black shoe with your face. The last thing you see before being propelled backwards is a very pissed off girl who landed the coolest bait and switch hurricane kick chasing right after you with petals of leaves following her every step. Your back hits the wall behind you and before you can recover you are kicked in the face again and smashed straight through the wall.

Hello Hallway, boy did you not miss it. Nor did you want to say hello against the floor with your face. But that's life.

You get up completely unharmed but are mildly offended "At least say hello before you kick someone! how rude can you be?!" and dust yourself off while facing your foe who enters the red hallway through the girl shaped hole.

"Ptah, isn't that the way you said hi to me?" A girl wearing a red dress made of leaves and blond hair replies with a frown "I'm just returning the favour really; you disturbed my work so I'm going to break your kneecaps. It's nothing personal"

"Breaking someone's knees sounds pretty personal" you snark back and look her down, she's not holding any weapons, nor does she look that tough, but anyone who can throw a tree, ride said tree and then dive kick you are not to be taken lightly. "Who are you anyway? you look yummy, but you don't look human, and I don't want to risk indigestion".

''...You really don't know who I am? then why he-" the girl makes a strained noise and shakes her head "Doesn't matter, I'm going to break your legs like a chocolate bar and then you'll see if it's funny to assault strangers" she cracks her knuckles and approaches your position with a confident slow walk. A red-gold aura of energy covering her every fibre.

"Chocolate is nice, but flesh is nicer...you still didn't answer my question though" you walk towards her as well. "Are you a rare kind of human then? I never got the chance to eat one like that!"

"People say my sweat has a minty flavour" she gives a non sequitur "So my knuckle sandwich ought to be delicious, why don't you stay still, open your mouth and have a taste of it yourself?"

"Nah, I'm more of a pin down and rip out the neck kind of eater. Also, some exercise before eating is always healthy".

"Enough banter now, you're going to catch these hands whether you like it or not!" and a wall of red leaves appear before she vanishes.


*THUMP! * And her foot meets your face again, she continues the kick with a second one, and a third one and another one and another one like a flurry of blows as each kick makes you take a step back while she treats your face like an imaginary bicycle. You swear she's shouting something like a ATATATATATATTATA but in the end other than the recoil, it really doesn't hurt you at all.

It's like she's trying to beat you to death with a toy hammer, sure it makes a lot of noise but that's about it.
If each blow didn't make you stagger, then you'd be onto her like a crocodile fighting a tiny dog.

Her feet entangle around your neck, makes your world turn upside down and your face impacts hard against the ground.

It is at this point that you get fed up, and instantly the room is turned into an empty dark void. All light leaves the area.

Seeing the change of her surroundings, she stops kicking your prone body and backs off to find out what you're doing.
Not one to refuse an opening, you charge at her blinded ass blindly and swing your saw frantically around in hopes of hitting her since you can't see either.
Right before you reach her, she reacts to the noise. Covers herself in leaves again and fades away.

She reappears above your head ready for another kick but even you can see through patterns and catch her leg.
You swing her whole body around, throw her away and quickly use a moonlight ray to knee her into the face!
She's blown away from the impact and follow her to the bright outside, she's still standing and panting but other than that she doesn't seem harmed as much as she looks tired from the constant attacks she did. She must have low stamina.

...Darn it's going to be one of those fights. When two youkais fight each other but neither are vastly more powerful than the other than most of the time the fight is reduced to both of them slapping each other over and over until one of them gives up or both forget why they were fighting in the first place. It's a complete stasis and waste of time.

You're going to have to use the saw to murderize her or danmaku if you want it to be nonle- "SNEAK ATTACK!"
A bunch of leaves cover your face, and she rushes in to deliver a combo of fierce punches and kicks.

Because thinking in the middle of a fight is an opening, she's willing to use, good job there.

You don't move and brace yourself as each hit does little to nothing but make you flinch a bit.
She does not get wise to it, as she hits your chin with a furious uppercut "Risiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing-"
and jumps for an extra KAPOW! as leaves scatter everywhere "Petal storm!" and knocks you prone.

Again, this doesn't hurt at all. You can't beat a youkai to death with your bare hands and feet.
You need to use danmaku or like magic items. Is she too angry to remember that?
Still props to her for acting all cool during the whole thing. But it's starting to get boring...

You wonder if you should just stay down and wait for her to tire herself out for an easy win, but she stops.
The leaves are removed from your face and the girl looks down on you with her arms crossed and one foot on your stomach.

"Fua....aaah, aaah, did you learn your lesson yet punk?" Her breathing is frantic, and she thinks she has won.

"What if I say no?" you reply, bored on the ground.

"Then I'll beat you as many times I need to make you understand!" she says boldly.

"Uhuh" and you lost interest in this, you look at the garden that's somehow completely unharmed. Other than some scraps of wood here and there it seems perfectly fine. Also, where did Daiyousei go anyway?

Oh, wait she's floating right behind the girl, boomerang in one hand ready to just bonk her on the head.
She gives you a bored look as if to say You done fooling around? We got places to be .

And she'd be right, you don't really have the time to be beaten up by strangers.

You should end this and get going now.

[X] Show her a REAL fight. Show her the REAL you.
[X] Just say whatever she wants to hear so she'll make like a tree and leave.
[X] Just get up, let Dai handle this and go recruit that Gatekeeper and leave.
[X] Play the victim, show some tears and wail so the Gatekeeper makes the mean leaf go away.
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Having Shizuha step on you....

[X] Just say whatever to Appease the totally not a crab in disguise and make her leaf.

Brainstorming incoming:

While we totally could feed her to our beloved chainsaw (Which I think is the 1st option), I believe it's best if we
keep up our weakling reputation (If fairies think they can beat you, then you're really not a big shot or they're just fairies I dunno) and stay on the low radar of the Hakurei Maiden for now rather than risk having to face someone above our current belt.

We can always start the 'true evil' stuff once we've gotten Ex-Rumia unlocked.
Like the Demon Path from Soul Nomad, can't wait to make the BFF army again as team 9. But would Rumia and Ex Rumia be the same person? or would they be like different people, Rumia being the personality of the sealed youkai and Ex Rumia the true darkness that lives within us all? All questions for later

Or until we got like a bunch of our pals with us. So for now I'll vote for going down a grey area (Troublemaker that thinks they're true evil but really are not) rather than good girl (as good as Rumia can be at least) or bad girl (As in actually serouisly harming peps that aren't Anons&Outsiders if they get in our way).

What do you fellow anons think? Let's feed our Saw on people that don't matter and hopefully get a Tsukumogami born out of it eventually. (If that's even possible).

Maybe learn a real fighting style too if Meiling can give us proper swing lessons too so that our melee abilities aren't the same as drunk british old ladies fighting each other. (Guess that in a bullet heavy world actually punching someone is something that Rum has become extremely rusty at).

That does make me wonder though: What if the Miracle Mallet becomes one? Not saying we'd ever meet Shimi or Seija but what would happen if a wish granting device becomes sentient? that could make a cool story for another time.
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[X] Just say whatever to Appease the totally not a crab in disguise and make her leaf.

I can agree to this lowbrow path of leaf resistance.
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===> Walk the path of least resistance

Yeah, sure you'd get up if it wasn't for the polished shoe on your chest.
To which a sweating girl is attached to, which would be a boon to others with the view you're getting.
But she doesn't seem to have the most wholesome intent in mind and neither does the fairy behind her.
The kick girl is too busy blabbing about treating one's neighbours to notice Dai, which is a big mistake.

Poor girl is about to find out what a brute Dai can be~

===> Use diplomacy for minimal risk and maximum gain

Hold on a moment, you've gained a decent idea.

A good idea you dare say even! and give Dai the secret message to not move yet.
Little do others know that you've become a master of giving secret messages.

"Why are you shouting kaw kaw repeatedly?" the leaf lady demands and looks behind herself only for Dai to silently move out of her visual range. She does it in such a casual manner too.

"I am the flame that shines brightest, a flame that signals the night. A flame that is the light of the darkness and so scatters the dark shadows of the light shadows around the world in a bright manner"
You reply all business like and move your own free arm like it's the wing of a birdy bird to disorient her.

"So, you're a loony" the girl dismisses it.

"No, I'm not, that implies I'm from the moon and there's no such thing. Which is the same as saying that I don't exist while I do in fact exist and that kind of paradox just makes stuff a lot weirder".

"Whatever, you better stop assaulting people from now on you hear me?"

"Okay" you smile your most innocent smile and lie.

"Listen here pu-wait what did you say?"

"I said, Okay? I'll reflect on my actions"

"Oh really? just like that?"

"Yeah~ isn't that what you want?"

"Yeah, but people...usually people don't listen to that and uh then I got to go for a round two and then all the fighting makes me even madder because I know I'm wasting my time"

"Uhuh, must suck" you don't care.

"Mhm, it does, but now since you're being very cooperative" She scratches the back of her head "I don't feel like fighting anymore and feel like talking things out and having a conversation about your terrible behaviour and all that" and seems suspicious of your sudden turn but doesn't reject it.

"Sure, that sounds civil" you lament that conversations don't have a skip button.

"Good!" She removes her foot and helps you stand up "Sorry for the assault then, if I knew you were going to be this reasonable, I'd have...you know not encourage the cycle of violence and all that?"

"It's no problem, we all make mistakes" you resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"Very well then, now...I'm going to scold you?"

"Why are you saying that in a doubtful tone?"

"Hm, I don't know I'm not really feeling it anymore. Why did you attack me anyway?"

"??" you frown in confusion, what is she talking about? "I did not?"

"you’re saying you don't remember? some blonde girl smashed into the ground next to me and gave me the fright of my life. I'm certain that was you, don't try to deceive me!"

"But I remember no such thing? how long ago was that?" you say genuinely.

"...." The girl just stares deep into your eyes, as if scrutinizing any sign of bs "Really?"

"Yeah! I've never seen you before in my life. Still don't know your name by the way".

The girl continues doing her stare into your soul gaze for a few seconds, and sighs "Shizuha".


"Shizuha Aki, that's the name. Making fall come is my game" she seems unsure on what to do now, on one hand she seems certain that you're full of shit, but on the other hand if she got the wrong person...

"Rumia, your schrodinger assaulter~" you reply in good humour "Are you sure it was me though? we've got plenty of blonds here, there's even a faker inside this mansion. Ain't that right Dai?"

"Who?" Shizuha looks around again, only for Dai to stay in her blind zone. She might be enjoying it since she's being super quiet about it and got a small smirk "I see no one, who are you talking to?"

"No one, look just listen: Right inside that mansion is someone who looks just like me. That must be the person you're looking for!" which is true, you do have an impostor.

"...That sounds too convenient" the girl isn't convinced "How come you're reflecting if you're not guilty anyway?"

"So, you'll get all the way off my back duh" you reply "It's easier to just go with the flow sometimes".

"So, you're saying you'll reflect on an action you did not do, because it's easier than talking back?"


"So, you're just a doormat?"


"....." She thinks some more "Fine, let's go" and starts to drag you in the house by the hand.

Screw this, you don't care anymore.
It is time to end this conversation as quickly as soon as possible.
You commence the Make Shizuha stop talking any%.

You stop immediately, and demand to know why she's doing that.
She says she's giving you the benefit of the doubt but isn't dumb enough to leave you out of sight.
You reply you've been officially banned from the establishment until a quest has been taken care off.
Shizuha does not care, either you come with her, or she'll just determine you're gguilty.
This pessimism surprises you, you tell her to have more faith in people.
She stares at you for another moment, sighs and relents. Wanting you to follow her home instead.
Sounds like a kidnapping to you, you ask her why with suspicion.
She says she's going to give you tea, and afterwards a lesson on how to treat people better,
Sounds like hell, you refuse and say that she can't make you. You're busy right now.
She asks you when you're free. You say never. She says never doesn't count.

The conversation is still going on! but you refuse to be discouraged!
You can see the ending already! soon this conversation will end!

....30 minutes have passed.

Holy hell, she's still talking. Not only that but she made a whole graph out of leaves on the ground.
Daiyousei bored to death way before this point, has abandoned you to go chat with Meiling.
Meanwhile Shizuha is teaching you the golden rules of Observe, Respect, Remember and yada yada.

There is no word to convey your suffering, your attention is starting to zone out. You can hear your own breathing. Your eyes are starting to feel heavy, and your surroundings are getting blurry.


[X] Make her stop, you don't care what you have to say. Just PLEASE make her shut up.
[X] Run away! Get your friends! get out of this mess and stop learning useless garbage!
[X] Better idea, she can't make you learn stuff if you knock yourself out. End the pain now.
[X] The hurties in your brain sauce is starting to form a pattern, embrace the good girl propaganda.
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[X] Run away! Get your friends! get out of this mess and stop learning useless garbage!

Shizuha can be butthurt for as long as she wants, but we've got things to do!

>30 minutes have passed
It feels like we're doing IN. I don't like where this is going...
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[X] Run away! Get your friends! get out of this mess and stop learning useless garbage!

Dai, you can teleport. Teleport us away to make up for lost time.
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===> Cease this nonsense, pursue the main objective once more

Yeah, enough time wasted. You've tried to be nice but nice just isn’t your thing.
It's like a fish that wants to become a mountain climber, it just doesn't happen.

You inform the lady that she's a fricking bo-no you're not going to deal with half assed insults.
Who says fricking anyway? be a real man and say the real insult dammit, don't be a coward!
You inform the lady that she's a FUCKING BORE and that you have places to be.

Her eyebrows raise and her mouth shows a smile with an I knew it vibe, and she says she knew you were a bad egg all along. There's no way she'd forget a face.

Then why did she bother talking about all that morality nonsense?

"Eh, I just wanted to watch you suffer as payback. You can fuck off for all I care now" she replies with a refreshed voice, as if she took a nice warm shower after this.

The urge to give her separation anxiety grows within you, but you just turn around and give her the iconic hand gesture the Firehobo gives to other people while walking away.

"Don't be a bitch to the world, and the world won't be a bitch to you~ remember that!" are the last words you hear from her.

You feel like you'll remember this all right, but not for the intended reasons.

You walk all the way back to the gate, making sure not to step on any flowers since they look super expensive.

And walk in on your two servants uh pals having a chat with each other, they seem to be having fun.

"And so, I said "Don't cut the body like that, you must drain the blood out first!" but they didn't listen" Dai is telling a story to pass the time.

"Let me guess, they hit a vein and all the blood starting to spurt out?" Meiling replies with a yawn, still leaning against the wall you saw her on.

"Exactly, but then the body stood up out of nowhere and started dan-" Dai notices you and stops "Ah there she is"

"Here I am" you lazily wave to both and keep floating ahead "No time for small talk, let's just go"

Meiling cracks her knuckles and follows, flying on your right side "Aiming straight for the good parts, eh? good, I always hated filler" but stops midway "Wait a moment!" and asks the big question "Did you finish the side quest?" and awaits your answer.

Daiyousei interrupts her "Didn't I tell you the gist of everything already? I'm sure she did whatever you wanted her to" and flies next to you on your left side "You did do it right?" you just nod yes "Well then, everything's okay isn’t it?"

Meiling rubs her chin for a moment and then nods "Fine by me, I'll officially join the party then!" and she stops moving.

You stop as well and look at her with a frown "Why did you stop moving then?"

She does a martial combat stance "Well, I need to get an intro! You've got to seal the deal!" and smiles the smile of an action hero.

What is she talking ab-"She's right, it's the rule every party has to respect" and even Dai doesn't make sense now...?

"So, what do you want me to do?" you ask confused "I have no idea what you're talking about".

"Hold on a moment..." Daiyousei digs out something from her pockets "Here, skip to page 4" and gives you a pamphlet.

It's a yellow pamphlet of a drawing of a giant frog with a hat ridden by a green haired overly manly shrine maiden wielding a flaming sword on top of a hill while an evil snake sorcerer cackles in the background. How to make an incident in 10 easy steps is the title of it. The author's name on the sides and backs says Pyonta-kun...who the heck wrote this?

You refuse to read this "I have standards, they may be low. but they still exist" and using the jokes of others is just cheap.
Not the book itself is a joke, actually you think it is. But if you haven't thought of the joke yourself then what's the point?

"Do it!" Dai says as she tries to make you waver you with a cute smile "It's just harmless fun, come oooooooon~"

"No" you refuse again, no force in the entire world can make you read a book against your will "Never ever smchever"

"If you don't do it, then I've got no choice but to use my special weapon" Dai replies menacingly and by menacing you mean not menacing at all since when has someone ever been afraid of a pouting girl? that's right never. Daiyousei is the negative scary, the very manifestation of things that aren't scary so only someone who's scared of not being scared would be scared of her! but the very mention of the special weapon fills your heart with intense fear.

You reply in terror "N-no, you uh you don't mean you're going to use that now, are you?" and put your arms around yourself protectively as if the mere implication makes your skin crawl. "You monster, you are deviant, you won't do it!"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss" She hisses back like a snake "I'm going to do it and I'm not bluffing".

"What is this about?" Meiling feels left out, and reminds everyone that she still exists "Is it an inside joke?"

You don't answer and stare Dai in the eyes, she's serious. ".... FINE, I'll do it!" and you start the intros.

You point at Meiling, sigh internally and say the magic words "Meiling has joined the team! She can break down many obstacles such as cracked walls and floors and teeth and many other stuffs with her fists. When your arms and feet are tired, she can use the powerful art of tai chi to massage them back to full health. Insert the blank yourselves and bla bla bla whatever" despite the way you say it Meiling doesn't seem to mind and even flexes her muscles.
"With her uuh" hold on she whispers something to you...oh okay "As a jack of all trades, there's nothing she sucks at!" and that's the end of it.

That's one down and another to go, you already regret every word you spout.

You point at Daiyousei and say the magic words "Daiyousei has joined the team! With her immortality she can deal with deadly traps and puzzles you don't want to solve yourself and she's small enough to enter places you cannot. No matter what happens to her she'll always come back soon after so don't be afraid to sacrifice her life away!" Dai glares at you and forces you to say something nice.
"But she's much more than that too! Uuuh, with her status as Greater Fairy she has a bigger chance of making those of her race cooperate if not outright obey her I guess?" She nods yes to that "Also fairy magic whatever, she can shoot bullets like everyone else, manipulate ice and water and warp short distances and whatever else I'm done with this".

You look at the two annoyed "There! Are you both happy?" you're not smiling despite yourself no sir.

Dai nods yes and Meiling gives you a thumbs up.

"Well then, if we're done fooling around. Then we have a witch to hunt~".

Where would she be though?

"Let's go to Kourindou, that's close to the forest, right? it's also the last place you saw her" Dai offers.

"Actually, why not try the Red White's shrine? they're like best friends and her intuition might help" Meiling offers.

The way they made those offers felt too smooth "Are you both ganging up on me?"

"Yes~" and they don't even deny it.

Well fine, if they're going to be that way then you'll just have to make your own decision.

So where shall the team head to?

[X] Kourindou it is, cause why not. Maybe there's more food too.
[X] Shrine it is, it's got your favourite person in it as well.
[X] Choose your own location, trust your [write in].


.... With these two small talks during the travel is going to be unavoidable.
Might as well take initiative, what do you do?
[X] Talk about a subject (insert) before they can have fun at your expense.
[X] Stay silent, ignore them and just go as fast as possible to your location.
[X]May as well read a glance of this dumb paper while you're at it.
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[X] Shrine it is, it's got your favourite person in it as well.

If Shion returned there, then she either dragged Marisa back, or at least knows where to look from there. At the very least we can retrieve a fourth member.

*Are we going to have a limit to active combatants when we get a full warband?

[X]May as well read a glance of this dumb paper while you're at it.

Once again the new incident will somehow be traced back to the Moriyas. They can't keep getting away with this!
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File 163726769321.png - (4.12KB, 191x265, Pyonta Daioooh.png)
Pyonta Daioooh
You there, you who love trouble but are afraid of being scolded, you who want to become a big shot but lack the strength or ability to even harm a farmer. You who has dropped the healthy habit of eating cooked food because the scent would summon a big hot onee-sama who will come to eat you in a way you definitely do not consent to.

Yes, you the one frustrated with the world, the one that wants to snap and commit a big splurge on the salad that is life. Yes, you reading this, don’t be coy!

You my dear reader can also succeed in the cruel world that is Gensokyo: By making an incident!
Does that fill you with hope? Does this news open your once cynical heart back to the wonders of discovering the great magic you once lost in your childhood years? If so you’re a bitch, stop reading.

For those still filled with troublemaker energy, or dark horrid urges that you can barely hold in keep reading on! Because I, the great, the merciless, the dark Pyonta-kun~ will turn you into a villain!

I will teach you the ways so many other successful villains keep secret lest amateurs flood the market: How to get your very loyal and very disposable henchmen to advance your plans and distracts the heroes, how to get a solid theme for your incident and a strange gimmick for the incoming spell card battles to make YOUR incident look unique and fresh, how to achieve your secret goal anyway and end up not punished too hard after a resolver has stopped your villainous deeds. And many more ways to make your moustache of evilness more smoothy and slick to the touch.

Fear not, despite the questionable content of this book and the bizarre and mysterious reason for making a book that encourages destabilizing the peace. The Methods listed are tried and true.

Chimata Tenkyuu was an unimportant and soon to become irrelevant goddess struggling with the modernization of the domains she has control over making her lose power by each passing day.

After her own personal incident, she is now the most sought for person to create special markets by almost every big shot in Gensokyo. Not only that but she is now filthy rich and has many followers!

Seija Kijin was some random youkai that no one gives a crap about, some day she found a magical smaghical jingle nut buster or whatever that can grant wishes…but only for smurfs! Which she isn’t.

After her own personal incident, she is now the most hated youkai in Gensokyo and a bounty is on her head up to this day, somehow, she has eluded the grasp of everyone else. Pretty impressive.

Do you see a pattern with those two things? Good, good! At least I hope you do but I’ll tell them facts anyway: A well done incident can make you famous or infamous, more powerful than you started as or become more miserable (though for the latter’s case she enjoys being hated).

Neither of these people have read this book but that’s only a bonus on reading this anyway!

Imagine the things YOU can do with the info that they did not have!

Imagine the mistakes you can avoid!

Of course, none of this matters if you don’t believe in yourself, so let’s start with that as lesson 0

Lesson 0: Believe in yourself! In order to believe in yourself you need to be convinced that you belief in yourself. And in order to be convinced into that you need conviction. And to obtain conviction you just need to belief in yourself! So, believe in the you that’s convinced in the conviction of believing yourself!

Now repeat the mantra of confidence, the essence of ego held within these words:

"In the not-too-distant future lives a girl yet to find her path in life, your years are troubled, and you get into many fights. And yet over your shoulder silently watches a sleeping giant. The Great Steel King: Pyonta Daioh! (Literally means Pyonta-King or King Pyonta)
The story tells or so you’re told, of a young and troubled woman.
With great ambition in her mind, and answers yet to find.
Evil forces scheme agai
"-wait no this is the wrong lyrics!

Well, it’s too late to take this back, I’m not rewriting all this. Anyway, you are the best! You are the smartest! Rise up and fight with me! Take your thoughts! Take your feelings! And turn them into strength! You’re not a failure! Not yet! Not as long as you have me……. Pyonta Daioooh!

Now come back to reality and abandon those delusions, you’re still a nobody. A mere blink in the eye that is reality, a sand grain in the dessert. But with my lessons…you’ll become a star!

And uh yeah, turn the page and read the next chapters and you’ll see it. Good luck!

…. Huh, that’s one hell of a pamphlet you got. Maybe books aren’t all garbage.

You turn the ne- “Hey, we made it!” and Dai announces that you’ve arrived. With a sigh you close the pamphlet and put it back in your pant pocket, you can always read more of it later.

The shrine and actually the whole way towards is remarkably fairy free now, but that doesn’t make the place any less lively sadly. If anything, a bunch of new figures are squatting at the entrance of the main Building. The figures are…people wearing suits and helmets of different colours. You can’t really tell more from this distance, but you don’t want to get any closer than needed.

“A-uh what?” Dai’s face crumples in disgust “Is that spandex they’re wearing? In this time of year? In the middle of a hot summer day? How the…why aren’t they having heat strokes?” and confusion.

Meiling on the other hand has already rushed to greet them with blazing wonder, she jumps in the middle of the group and does a pose while shouting something “Let your souls burn bright!” and awaits their answer like a fisher waiting for something to bite the lure they’ve set in passionately.

The figures all stare at Meiling then back at each other and nod as if they made a decision. They get up and walk to her side before doing their own pose “Unite!” and shouting out some team cry.
Meiling lets out a high-pitched cry of raw happiness at being accepted by these people, with a full-grown grin she does some weird arm movement before doing a fist pump and actually who cares.
She’s making friends with a bunch of weirdos but you’re not here for that. You got a mission.

“Well, I guess that if Meiling is okay with them then they can’t be bad right? Even if they look weird for youkai…” Dai isn’t sure what to think of them and again who cares “Let her have her fun then, and we’ll talk to the Shrine Maiden in the meantime” she decides by herself and moves towards the entrance with remarkable ease since they’re all distracted by Meiling. “Come on let’s go”

Except you don’t follow “I’m the boss…don’t tell me what to do” and you pout like a grown up. Your friend she may be, but even then, she ought to know her place. No-one controls the darkness for the darkness controls you! Like an emperor with ultimate authority. It is your adventure so it’s your way!

Your companion snorts as if they heard the dumbest joke “Think of it as a suggestion then~” and is not intimated at all by your fearsome expression “Now now, don’t be so uptight. I am spending my own free time to help you so shouldn’t you be grateful instead? I think we’d both love a thank you” and now mentions some nonsense, as if them not joining was even possibl…. wait a minute.

Actually yeah, they don’t have to come with you, but they did anyway. Such kindness has to be rewarded in some way so the least you can do is not be some sprout flower about minor stuff.
Loyalty is far more powerful than ruling with fear after all. So, should you not act in a way that makes them want to respect you rather than risk the small odd of rebellion? “Fine, thank you!”

“You’re welcome” Dai opens the door, and you make your way inside. The smell of earlier is gone and instead a warm fresh outside breeze welcomes your nostrils. Finally, this place got cleaned.
You head to the main room and call out for the Hakurei with an intense summoning call “Hakurei Maiden!” your response is getting smacked in the face with a wooden cup. Guess she’s here.

“Get out” indeed that voice can only belong to one maiden, the same maiden who’s covered in a pile of gold and coins and lazily throwing into the air with a smile on her face “I’m having the best day in my life, don’t you dare ruin this for me” her indifferent voice now has a cloudy, wistful if not slightly drunk vibe to it. The Hakurei really does look like she’s in heaven and the costume dude spoiling her by waving a big leaf at her while another is busy cleaning the room could be the key to explaining it.

Compared to the red to blue colours, this one has a silver shine to it, but that’s useless info. What’s not so useless is the fact that the Pale one and the Catgirl are literally tied up to chairs with paper talismans on their heads. They both seem dead inside as the terrible truth that no one can escape from the Hakurei has become all too apparent to them…you feel a small amount of pity for them.

Daiyousei doesn’t care on the other hand, and heads to the table “Is that free crackers? Don’t mind if I do” and blatantly robs the Hakurei in the same room as her, the girl signed her death sentence.

“Don’t eat them aaaall” The Hakurei lazily moans but is either too comfy to give a carp or Dai really has lucked out. Normally touching the Hakurei’s food without consent is a clear death sentence.

You wonder where she got these strange youkais anyway, or if they’re even youkai but you can guess why she lets them stay (hint hint: Being spoiled sure feels nice) but from where did they come from? People don't really bother visiting from the village so they can't be humans.

You think for a moment and think some more with your magnificent brain folds, come on brain! you can do this! FIGURE OUT THE TRUTH....but get nothing, so you go ahead and steal a cracker too.

They taste a lot better than their dry and salty predecessors. Did someone else make them?
Eh that doesn’t really matter, you’ve got a Wriggle to bring back! and to do that you need the dolls! And to do that you need the witch! And to do that you need the info on where she is!

So let’s get back on track, let’s accomplish this virtuous mission you’re on.

[X] Ask the Hakurei for info, she’s the witch bestest friend and has a literal plot radar thingmabob to guide to wherever she wants to go. Surely, she would part with such info for your cause!
[X] Ask the Two unfortunate souls, you think you left the Pale One with the Witch anyway so she might remember where the girl is. If not then uh, I guess you could ask if she wants to join again?
[X] Hold on a minute…youkais that appear out of nowhere, what if these things are anons? You’re not sure but if they are then you have to slaughter them, let’s interrogate one immediately!
[X] Eh, this can all wait. Have some more crackers and read more of that Incident Guidebook thing, where did Daiyousei get it anyway? And for that matter would she like to help with your own?
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Forgot to answer your question my bad.

Let's just say most small fry won't be trying to mess with you by then, more because of your companions than you at the moment.

And even then most fights if you ever get a warband would be either piss easy if some fairies are dumb enough to attack you now or would be far more challenging to accomade that.

If you want to speak off a hard cap in like rpg games logic, it'd be 5 active. (So there could be You, Dai, Wriggle, X, Guest (Meiling)) at the same time while any other are just relegated to offscreen fighting or just plain not allowed if it's too much of a pain.

Otherwise each fight would be worth 2 updates in one or just be a single line.

Example: "Before they can end their sentence, a single master spark has turned them to dust.
Marisa seems bored out of her mind and gives you a single glance "What? Random encounter can blow my hakkero..." before walking ahead as if what she did isn't super rude and inconsiderate"

If we keep the rpg mentality for a moment then any member who's not in team 9 or a close friend may not obey any of your commands and do their own thing. (Since they don't respect you).

Hmm, this is giving me Dragon Quest urges now. I'll be off playing some of that now (Heard DQ III is a rather good one).
If not put a Dragon Quest X Touhou story in the 'For the future' idea list

Hope that answered your question.
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Yeah, thanks for the answer!

[X] Ask the Two unfortunate souls, you think you left the Pale One with the Witch anyway so she might remember where the girl is. If not then uh, I guess you could ask if she wants to join again?

Aight we on a time crunch with a dead bug on the clock. Gotta roll out quick.
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>Tied up and dead inside.

Reimu sure is scary....but this gives me an idea.

[X] Ask both souls and their exposed...heads...
[X]Headpat the two defenseless girls.

It's just to wake them up I swear!
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[X] Ask the Two unfortunate souls, you think you left the Pale One with the Witch anyway so she might remember where the girl is. If not then uh, I guess you could ask if she wants to join again?

But Shion better have a damn good excuse if she wants back on the team. She totally ditched us. Marisa was attacking us, and she just ditched us. Didn’t even bother saying goodbye or anything, just disappeared just like that.
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===> Approach potential sources of info and free labour.

That's a great idea you got!

"Give me a sec" you get up from the table and leave Dai be with the yum yums, you've got business and catching up to do with these two miserable souls. They may have the info you want if not need salvation.

"Don't be a stranger!" Dai waves back and shrinks herself to a smaller size somehow so that the food she eats lasts longer and is more fulfilling to devour. You ignore the small envy you have towards fey magic.

The Pale one and Catgirl have been forcefully relocated as far away as possible from the window while still being in the eyesight of the Shrine Maiden. Both of them have been tied up on small wooden chairs with jump ropes, but in order to compensate for such low-quality materials the way they've been tied up is so masterful that it could make a bondage master blush. You're not sure where to look so instead you focus on their heads and see that the talisman on their heads have the kanji of MORON on them. Whether that actually holds any spiritual power behind it or is just meant for extreme humiliation is up to interpretation.

It does make you wonder who thought the Hakurei Maiden to do that, did she go out of her way to buy a manual on tying people up or is this another one of her natural talents coming to a shine? Regardless of the answer one truth has become certain to you: They sure are lucky to have Reimu dote on them.

The Hakurei Maiden went out of her way to chase them down, drag them all the way back here and tie them up so they will not leave her personal glory without permission. Is that not the definition of love?
Aaaaw, the sight makes your heart grow wistful. Perhaps you too will one day be able to overpower someone and lock them into your house so that they'll have to stay with you forever and ever and ever~

===> Commit the ultimate sin, of head patting the Maiden's property, she's not watching...do it!

Hon Hon Hon! Now that's a delicious idea...while their silky and lustrous heads are free and unprotected at the moment, there is one small problem: Daiyousei is in the same room. The girl is unaware of your head patting sins and it is a secret that you've gone out of your way to preserve. After all no one would expect the girl who hates head pats so much to be a practioner of it herself now would they? Exactly, that's the great lie. For all your friend knows you do not even know what a head pat is. AND THEY WILL NEVER.

Hold on a minute you don't remember doing any of that.

Wait never mind you totally do; it totally makes sense.

No, it doesn't.

Whatever, you've got stuff to do. This isn’t the time for introspective navel gazing.

Fine, let's continue then. Where were you? oh yeah you won't head pat cause reasons.

So even though being able to head pat a Goddess and a Catgirl at the same time would be one of the grandest achievements to achieve in life. Breaking the masquerade is not worth the short-term pleasure.
The disappointment they would feel nay the very disgust that would well be inside of them would be enough to break your heart. "So, you like to touch people's head Rumia? that's kind of weird" they would say. "Ew...keep your hands away" they would say. Your social status would be destroyed! DESTROYED!

Hence you will only headpat someone if none of your friends can see it, so you take a step back and avoid looking at them while trying to calm down. Now isn't the time to look at them as...yknow. You mustn’t think of them melting in your embrace, trusting you with their life...only for you to gut them at the last possible moment. Their trust betrayed; their joy turned to pain. Their lives yours to consume...that'd be nice but kind of bring the opposite effect of what you're aiming for~

Your right arm as if responding to your increasing random dark thoughts, has started to dully feel warm again. You can feel the occasional twitch inside the flesh similar to a heartbeat, and dark veins who were previously not visible have decorated the entire arm now. You know this is a good thing, this is something you definitely want.

But you cover the whole thing inside some darkness, anyway, leaving only the left side of your body and your head exposed to the light of the room so one can keep proper social contact with the others.

Also, you've only got one functional hand at the moment so even if you wanted you could only headpat one at a time! For Shame indeed! It is occasions like these that make you wish you were half spider youkai, for with those extra arms you could headpat multiple girls at once. You'd be the Head pat God....crawling up ceilings with your head upside down while chasing down a girl who doesn't her want precious cranium touched...yet despite her hardest efforts you simply spit web at her arms and feet and force your will upon her...the fear wo-oooh~

Again no, that's not going to happen right now. You're starting to feel a bit annoyed by these ideas and mentally note them down as bad ones. You're not going to rip and tear random people apart for no reason.
Everyone here except for the dudes in costume are not the kind of people you'd want to hurt so cut out that whole edge lord stuff brain or you'll just rip off your arm and hope a new one will regrow.

Unless...you were to try it anyway? You look at your intact left hand and clench it into a fist. Perhaps if you had more experience in the art of head patting...you could move your arm in such a precise and fluid motion that a head is touched without harm regardless of speed or velocity, you could deliver such swift and powerful strokes that one feels like ten and ten feel like hundred. Finally, you could repeatedly unleash the ruffles with such an intensity that within that very moment the strikes do not become several under one breath but instead several at the same time. To have more than one head pat exist!

Could that be it? Could such devotion unlock the power of One Hundred Headpats?!

===> Focus, seek info. Where is Wriggle? Why did the Goddess ditch you? Get the answers.

You finally after what seems like an eternity approach the two stooges.

The Cat Girl seems furious or at least her flattened ears and raised hairs say so, you can't tell from the face area because she's wearing some weird cat muzzle. A black fabric covers her entire area except for the nose making her unable to scream out the many obscenities she might want to shout out.

Shion on the other hand, has no such extreme thing on her. She's simply bound to the chair with some jump rope but doesn't look too uncomfortable. She seems sluggish and her eyes are a bit dull....out of boredom? She seems remarkably more used to this and is the first to hear your footsteps and look at you.
The moment she notices it's you a little bit of the apathy disappears "So you're alive after all?"

You fold your arms together and frown "No thanks to you..." WHERE was she yeah? in your time of need you had to fight with your everything once again at the risk of a violent death. She just disappeared.

She just shrugs "What can I say? You and the Witch Girl entered the tower and then poof!" she wiggles her toes instead of her fingers "Both you are gone like the wind and some barrier won't let me pass. So naturally I work my ass off to break through it but then as if by sheer awful timing. Neither of you are there anymore so instead I waste my time waiting to see if you'll come back (you did not) and then afterwards I look for you at the foot of Youkai Mountain since I thought going there was the plan (You went to the SDM instead) and finally to tip it all off...a certain Shrine Maiden just happens to run into me" her voice has an resignnedt tone to it, as if she shouldn't have expected any less than the worst outcome from each event.

...You guess that means she doesn't know where Marisa is.

"Yeah, I don't know where she is. Sorry for being so useless~" the way she says that so casually implies she thinks you want nothing more to do with her. You're not sure if that says a lot about her social life.

Either way you got your answer. What do you do now?

>____ (Write in)

Suggestions below if you don't want to make one:
[X] Eh, they're both useless. Time to ask the Shrine Maiden for info instead.
[X] Hmmm, fine you can accept that reason. Let her re-join if she still wants to.
[X] On second thought, it might be best to head elsewhere now.
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Meta question: Will Shion actually make it so that we can not succeed at anything?

If not, then
[X] Hmmm, fine you can accept that reason. Let her re-join if she still wants to.
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Meta Answer: Yes, what else will you vote for now?

Insert guilt tri-wait never mind that's a human thing. Do whatever you want to do, or feel is optimal.
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[x] You waited for me to come out? I call BS! The fight wasn’t that long. You barely waited at all before ditching me didn’t you. You are a disgrace to this unit and are hereby dishonorably discharged!
[x] Also what’s the deal with all the spandex helmet freaks?

That whole fight couldn’t have taken more than 10 minutes. 15 tops. And if shion really spent the first part of the fight trying her hardest to break through the barrier, then she would have been waiting for even less time. She ditched us the first chance she got.
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Indeed it is sus

So you deduce that she is lying?

That the timeframe of her testimony contradicts the time it would have taken for the fight to end?

Are you absolutely sure of that?

You are


Correct! You are getting into something deeper

Update coming soon.
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===> …. It sure is cold around here.

You feel like that’s a good enough reason and feel like she can re-join if she wants.
Except another feeling comes to you, a small doubt gnaws in your mind.
Is she speaking the truth? Did she simply not ditch you at the first opportunity?

Now normally you’d dismiss such thoughts as being paranoid or having little to no faith in other people…yet somehow it feels like you’re missing something. Like you’re being bamboozled.

You feel like you should confirm the truth first and foremost, just to make sure.

“Is that so?” you ask the Pale One and get closer to her with a smile.

“Uh, yes?” she raises an eyebrow to your question “I did my best and it wasn’t enough. Sorry to disappoint you heh, that’s the entire truth. It is so~” and tries to wave it off as if it couldn’t be helped. She sure does like acting aloof, and not looking you in the eye. She hasn’t looked at you during the entire conversation “But eh, you got yourself some gay suit and a fey pal and actually hey when did you get those? Did you even not look for me? How cruel of you…” and starts gaslighting.

“So, you tried break open the barrier, but gave up after some time. Then afterwards you just went off towards Youkai Mountain instead of inspecting the hole in the ground that I dug?” you ask again now certain that there is something suspicious about the girl, your feelings of unease were correct after all.

“Yes, that is so” the girl nods “You gals sure took your time fighting in there, and here was poor little old me forced to wait outside until the thing disappeared….life sure is cruel” she complains.

Hold on a moment, you must prepare something for this. You pick up the chair Shion is attached to and move it closer to the table, then you slam your hand against the wood with an intense *Bang! *

“That is not so!
” you roar with detective spirit and a dramatic finger gesture “There’s no way our fight lasted so long! It was barely 5 minutes, if not 10 at the most. Not only that but our fighting was loud and clear. Can you really say you failed to hear my shouts? I’d like an explanation for that!”

“Ggh!” Shion flinches at your sudden shouts but regains her composure quickly “T-that’s…I’ve always been bad of hearing you see, it’s a medical condition. I didn’t know anything I swear!” She starts to sweat a bit despite her words, you get the feeling she is a very poor actress.

“…I don’t believe you, there’s no way you would have waited so shortly?” you fumble with your words a bit since you’re not used to big words “Ahem, you ditched me the first chance you got!”

“W-WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?” she sounds completely surprised that you’re capable of even thinking about something like that let alone put two and two together “I-well I…No?” She grits her teeth
“Fine, be that way. Here I try to help you and the moment I’m glad you’re alive you come and blame with such terrible things…the people here really are heartless”
…Something is fishy here, even you can tell that Shion knows much more than she lets on. Whether she is working with the anon remains to be seen but you intend to find out the truth.
“It sure is cold around here Shion, do you know why?” you set up a cool line, please fall for the bait.

“…We’re in the middle of summer, if anything it’s really hot” she ruins it inadvertently.

“It’s because your spring of lies ends here!” you declare boldly “You Shion are a deserter and shame to this unit and are therefore discharged! Now tell me the truth: WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!” you grab her by the veil of her hoodie and stare into her eyes with anger. Feeling betrayed by her actions.

“…..” She stares you back in the eyes and suddenly becomes pissed “I didn’t see anything! And I didn’t do anything! You’ve got no proof nor evidence so quit this nonsense already!” The girl has no intention to tell you anything without the proper persuasion or proof that she’s full of shit and demands you put her down. Everyone in the room is looking at the both of you.

“Rumia, what’s happening?” Daiyousei doesn’t seem to understand what you’re trying to do but doesn’t move to stop you. Trusting that whatever you’re doing has a good reason behind it.

“Hey what did I just say earlier?” Reimu on the other hand is looking at you as if you’re about to do something dumb again “If you’re going to make a commotion then get of my shrine” She is however still covered bottom to top in her pile of money like a mole popping their head out of the ground.
“I don’t have time for drama, now let go of my money maker or hands will be thrown”.

The people wearing suits however seem unfazed and simply continue tending the Hakurei Maiden or cleaning the room or even just doing some pose in the corner. Finally, Meiling makes her way back inside the room and waves at you “Sorry for the dela-oh did I enter in a bad time?” before realizing that you’re holding a tied-up girl by the vest “Oh did you catch a bad guy?” and not caring a lot.

But they don’t matter right now, Shion ditched you for some reason and you want to know why that’s the case. People don’t betray others out of nowhere and you were both strangers before all this. There’s no way she became jealous of how amazing you are so there must be a deeper reason.

Your head starts to feel a bit hazier, like some of your brain juices are mixing and making a smart brain smoothie. Maybe if you concentrate even more…you’ll unlock another power?!

Nah, that only works in storybooks…then again this is a place of fantasy. With the whole chainsaw thing and pony coins and now that you think of it getting a brain blast would be one of the least weird things that would have happened today. You swear you can hear a ring ring noise.

The girl is hiding something you’re sure of it! But whether exposing it or not is even worth your time is another matter. You’re still busy with the whole reviving Wriggle thing and even if the peps in spandex are a strange sight you don’t really have time to waste on them now do you?

Decision, Smissions. Sometimes you wish life was on autopilot. That way you could blame any missed opportunities on some greater force and not your own conscious mind.
But it’s never that simple, you’ve got no time to waste and many answers to find.

Whether you decide to try make her spill the beans now are entirely up to you, you could probably just leave and come back. It’s not like the girl can go anywhere tied up like that
“I’m counting to 5” Reimu is getting up slowly, ready to kick your ass if you don’t let go of her main component of a succesful money scheme she did. "4, 3, 2-" and is not bluffing.

So, what’s your next move?


[X] Are you not the darkness?! Expose the traitor’s lies! SOUL LOCK!
[X] Tsk fine, put her down and ask the Hakurei for her guidance.
[X] Oh hold on a moment, the ringing is getting louder. You should take that call.
[X] Man screw this, let’s go to Kourindou or literally anywhere but here.

Sleepy as boyo, going to nap now and have a nice day.
Here’s a small inventory summary cause why not:

Chainsaw (Cursed/Anon): A weapon of bloody murder, it’s literally your overly muscled right arm now and using it makes you feel happy. For some reason it has started twitching.

Ribbon (???): A cute red ribbon that you cannot touch on your forehead, it gives a weird tingly feeling whenever you enter a place that’s been tampered by boundaries. It also looks cute!

White Suit: Clothes forcefully equipped by Dai and Remilia, they sure look fancy but would be easy to dirty and now make you look like a rich girl. Odds of being robbed increased by 200%!

Brain: It’s what makes the brain juice, brain juice makes you smart. You’ve tried eating the brain juices of other people once, but it doesn’t taste that good. You die if you dis-equip this.

Shadow Shoes: Shoes made from pure shadow, you don’t do this usually since otherwise the darkness gets all prissy and mean and overall, it’s best not to agitate it too much.

I’d do titles too but those don’t really do anything, and I want to nap now, so nighty.
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[X] Oh hold on a moment, the ringing is getting louder. You should take that call.
Is that our guardian angel, back from buying cigarettes?

There is a lot happening in here, I little idea what is happening in this moment.
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The traitor refuses to talk and the Hakoray is ready to come to her defence, even so there’s absolutely no way you’ll let the truth escape “How dare you! Your betrayal shall cost you yo-

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Wait hang on, the ringing is getting a lot louder. “What was that noise?” You don’t know where it’s coming from and let go of the girl. Something just rang didn’t it? did anyone hear that just now?

None of your companions answer and look at you with confusion, the Traitor simply glares daggers at you while the Hakoray has made her way out of the pile and asks you to repeat yourself.

You tell the dense hearing pals that there is a phone ringing and that someone should answer it, specifically the landlord slash the Hakurei since this is her home and so it should be for her.

“What are you even tal- “RING! RING! RING! The noise is so loud, why isn’t anyone answering it?!’

“I’m not hearing anything…” Mailing replies confused, and she seems troubled for some reason, same for Adi as both look at you with some worry in their eyes. As if what you say makes no sense at all and that maybe just maybe the ringing isn’t real at all but imaginary.

Which it is not, the blaring is starting to get louder so clearly, they’re just messing with you. But seriously how rude can you be? Someone is taking time out of their day to try and contact this honest establishment and here is everyone desperately ignoring it as if the caller could be your old dinosaur of a mother about to ask you to go buy groceries for her for the umpteenth time.

“Are you guys deaf? Fine I’ll go take it” and you leave the room in search of the thing, the noise can be heard further within the hallway, and you start walking as fast as you can in hopes of not answering the damn thing too late. It’s already on it’s second hum and there’s only three left to go.

Of course, your companions do not follow you, instead they stay in that dumb room in stunned silence. As if they think you’re about to commit some dumb prank or are just being jerks.

But you won’t mind them if anything you’re starting to feel a little worried for them instead, if they’ve got such hearing problems then they should go visit that bunny clinic. To be that hard of hearing could be a handicap. One day they might even get hit by a train because they couldn’t hear the blaring honk of the machine nor the cries and shouts of nearby onlookers because the sounds of the raindrops were disguising it all. And then the train will hit them, and they’ll die a violent death with guts flying everywhere and ooh that makes you hungry.

The passengers you mean, you bet the Kungfu gal could just kick the train out of her way and Adi would just make it go off rails after being smacked in the face by it. You guess that means they’ve got 2 hp or more since health points are the equivalent value of how many 14-ton trains you can take in the face and live to tell another day. It kind of makes you jealous…

You finally make your way into what you believe is the kitchen, there is a small counter on the side for the put wood to make fire to cook stuff so weak people can eat cooked meat or nice warm tea machine and some drawers beneath it for silverware made of wood. Finally on a small table on a smaller basket lies the yellow device that’s been emanating these cursed bells: The phone!

Who knew the Hakoray had a working phone after all? She said she didn’t use these devices because she couldn’t get the hang on how they worked and didn’t have a reliable way to recharge them.
Guess she was holding out on you, either way you pick up the phone.

(Long time no see little moonlight, are you done fooling around?) a familiar smug voice can be heard, except this time it’s also tired and hoarse as if they’re…tired and hoarse.

(That’d be correct, but you’re not here to hear me chit chat.)

That’s an awful assumption, maybe you’re totally interested in chit chats. How about that?!

(My bad, my bad, but anyway me are you alone right now?) she gets straight to business.

Good question, you look around and see that no one followed you. Or maybe they did but you managed to shake them off and oh Hi Adipose but no no one else but you are here right now.

(I’m too tired to check so I’ll take your word for it, now listen up.) You can hear papers being moved as if she’s reading something and saying it out loud at the same time.

(So since you’ve showed that you clearly had no intention to cooperate with my little scenario, I’ve let you run around as much as you pleased for around…9 pm yesterday and 2 pm today. That’s 17 hours of free time that you’ve spend running around and doing whatever you fancied while not thinking about any larger consequences. In those 17 hours of pure instinct, you’ve managed to harm yourself in several ways, assaulted several people for no good reason, change your objectives faster than a schizoid lost in a Walmart, burned down your own residence and break and enter another, various hate crimes against fairy kind and much more all to fuel your own ego and bloodlust. Now sure I’m certain that you’ve got a reason for doing all this but right now, if I went by pure facts and logic alone, I’d say you’ve been a very bad girl. You’re acting more chaotic than any anon in this book I’m holding and yes, I’m holding a book that lists down all the bad girls. Which you are in because you’ve been a bad girl, a very dumb, dangerous to all if not almost very similar to an anon kind of bad girl. In fact, your bad girl number 20# out of more than or maybe less than a hundred I won’t tell you bad girls. That’s right you’re such a bad girl you’re 10 spots away from the top ten of bad girls and do you know what we do in Gensokyo to the top ten bad girls? We put them in a little room or cave that they’re not allowed to leave because those bad girls are such a level of bad girl that they are a danger to everyone and especially themselves. And we don’t kick them out because we care about our little girls, this is the land of spooky magical girl made by cannibal magical girls for magical cannibal girls. And magical cannibal girls are naturally bad girls themselves, but some bad girls are more bad girls than others. Yet there is a limit to how much of a bad girlyness we can allow so there are rules for things like these. Now I was going to ignore your little bad girlyness if it came at the cost of anons yet guess what? Your kill count is a measly 3. That’s right only 3 anons have died and the first two were either piss easy or a pure accident.)

The woman takes a deep breath, and a sip of water. Then continues speaking.

(You’ve caused more harm to nature itself and the residents than any anon you’ve met so far. Have you even been looking for them? Hint: you did not, don't bother lying. you did not meet a single anon up til now and haven’t even remotely harmed one this entire day. Why is that? Are you working with them now? Is there some greater goal you’re pursuing now? I’m reading your deeds on the bad girl list but that’s only that: Deeds. I don’t get the context behind them. So why don’t you enlighten me?

Why are you out to make yourself miserable? Why are you using an object that I’ve clearly said will ruin all your efforts if not kill you given enough time? Why have you been ignoring the spell card rules? If the Hakurei knew you did that she’d have to exterminate you, you are aware of that right?
Are you trying to die? Do you want to die? Do you not have the slightest bit of self preservation?)

…That’s a lot of questions she’s giving. The fact she’s not even shouting and using a disappointed tone instead makes it feel like you’re being scolded for eating the cookie jar.

(But anyway, tick tock the time is up. It is back to work for you but first I want to understand what you’re trying to do here because I really do not understand, like holy moly are some bad things listed on here and I’m saying this with only the best intent: You girl have gone cuckoo bananas, but I forgive you. You are young, reckless, and got so much to live for. It is only normal that you make mistakes, but these mistakes are a bit more serious. Sure, it’s not like you’ve gone to the human village and tried to massacre everyone and their children, but your actions so far give me the painting of a colossal dumbass, you’ve got good emotions pulling you, you’ve got the heart to not give up but these feelings and grand ideas of yours pull you anywhere but forward. You’re not a hero, not even a gag villain. You are a wild animal trying to act smarter than she really is. You are an idiot Rumia. You are a clown, NO you're even worse! YOU ARE THE ENTIRE CIRCUS!)

The woman sounds genuinely mad, as if you're a baby who tried to crawl out a window.
She's so mad even that her tired tone makes it feel like she would strangle you if she could.

(....But guess what? You can still be of use to me. You can still do the right thing. Be a good girl and get your own fancy happy ending. But that’s only if and I mean a hard IF if you listen to me now.
I’m not your enemy, I’m your greatest guide, your guardian angel but I can’t help you if you won’t let me. You’ve got nothing to lose from giving me a little bit of faith you’ll see. I can make sure you’re you never lose your way again, I can give you the wisdom you need, I can make your wildest dreams come true and in exchange all I want is for you to listen to me. To be my little unremarkable, unimportant Anon Assassin that no one pays attention to nor sees as a threat. I want you to prove your loyalty to your country, your loyalty to your friends and your loyalty to yourself by doing a simple easy task for me. Can you do that? Do you have the bravery to hear me out? Can you prove yourself to me once more? If you can do it, if you succeed at doing it then you’ll get a great reward).

You slam the phone shut, what a bunch of nonsense and sit next to the table like a hardboiled detective. The lady sure said a bunch of mean stuff which doesn’t hurt your feelings at all. And even if she was right which she is not. Is it not better to do stuff your own way? Renegade for life!

“…Are you okay Rumia?” Adi taps your shoulder and has a very worried tone of voice “You-uh, do know you’re holding a banana, right? Look I’m going to be honest you’re being super weird right now. I think we should take a break and go Eventer, you like bunnies, right? I love those!” and tries to cheer you up at the end, but it’s got the energy of trying to fool someone into an asylum.

“Don’t patronize me” you gently slap her hand away since you don’t see the need for such support, aren’t all the coolest villains not troubled souls or something? Yeah, all this keeping it to yourself will only be the fuel to light the amazing lord of death and destruction that you’ll become one day. There is no need to make Dai up to the news of everything or vent your troubles to her in a health manner because that kind of stuff is something only WIMPS do “besides I am a- WHY IS IT RINGING AGAIN?!

The damn phone is ringing again, why is she even using a phone anyway? Has your head become too awesome to speak through in? Damn, you’re so evil voices need phones to speak to you!


[X] STOP RINGING! Destroy the phone and eat it like a manly man. Let the nutrients fuel your electrolytes and make some MAN cakes with Adipose too.
[X] Pick it up again, maybe she’s right. Maybe you do need a guardian angel.
[X] You know Dai is being very noisy, let’s teach her how to deal with saw wounds.
[X]…None of this makes sense, vent your frustrations to Adipose. She’s someone that can be trusted.


Want a short summary of everything that has happened so far then?
That could help out, unless you want to ask a meta question. Go ahead either way.
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>Want a short summary [...]?
No thank you, I meant there was a lot happening at once in the last scene. It amounting to very distinctive (and not obviously bad) choices was a nice surprise.

[X] Pick it up again, maybe she’s right. Maybe you do need a guardian angel.
The Angel's saved us before, no reason to not fall back on it.
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[X]…None of this makes sense, vent your frustrations to Adipose. She’s someone that can be trusted.

Screw the mysterious disembodied voice. If this whole go-kill-Anon mission was so important, then she should have been guiding us this whole time, instead of just disappearing without an explanation or a goodbye. She just ditched us and forced us to fend for ourselves. She is just as bad as Shion.

I say we talk it all out with Dai. Maybe she can make sense of everything.

Also is there an actual in-story explanation for why we are suddenly referring to Dai as "Adipose" or did your spellcheck just go nuts during that last update? We referred to her as "Dai" at least once during that update, so I can't tell if this is on purpose or not.
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My spellcheck just went genuinely nuts yeah.

I'm going to get a new word stuff to write on instead for the next update once the tie is broken.
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File 163762358461.jpg - (142.47KB, 850x567, Tiebreaker.jpg)
Ladies and smaller ladies!

It is time for the one thing you've all been waiting for!

The Tiebreaker Dojo!


Starring your favourite host: The Meatball God.

? Greetings everyone, it's been a while since I've gotten to do one of these but I'm rather eager to participate in this one. While you have not genuflected for quite a while and perhaps even forgotten about me...that is not really something that can be helped. Maybe I should act a bit bolder? Nah, the time isn't ripe yet I'm afraid...not yet.

But anyway, even though I'm supposed to be unbiased in these verdicts, I'm going to say what I really think just this once.

You've been doing pretty good so far, while it is true that you've made some mistakes here and there. No-one was really harmed that badly by them. If anything, the fact you're still trying despite all these blunders is something to be respected.

There's a saying I quite like: The 1st time you do something will always be worse than the 10th time, which will always be worse than the 100th time, which will always be worse than the 1000th time, et cetera. Whether it’s playing an instrument, or singing, or writing, or getting stronger, or learning a language, or whatever. If it takes practice, this saying holds true.

Often, we give up on things because we don’t see results fast enough, because they aren’t as noticeable over a short span of time. Most people fail to just remind themself that even if you don’t see a difference now, you will if you keep it up.

And you have exactly that: You are still trying to do things the best you can without letting someone else make the decisions for you. You are choosing every step you take even when you're lost. You choose to get up even if someone beats you down. And even if your confidence is misplaced there is nothing wrong with believing in yourself if it lets you achieve more than being *realistic* and therefore makes you afraid to try things out.

The worst thing you could possibly do is give up; you could have given up on so many occasions. Hell, no one is telling you to do anything. You could literally go home and call it a day, and no one would care. You could have died several times by now and life would simply move on without you. You are indeed at the very bottom of the echelon.

BUT WHO CARES?! I'm genuinely impressed by your resolve here. Like there's no word to describe it. ...*No matter their age, if there is someone who wants to live on, but they end up dying anyway, then… that fills me with sadness no matter who it is! * Is that the appropriate saying? I'm not too certain but anyway no one is perfect and blab bla bla.

Like just a small secret...you should have died a long time ago, like seriously that was your role in this whole deal. Die a painful death so that the Witch realizes how much of a danger these anons are. You were a literal meat ticket, a disposable plot hook and the fact you are NOT DEAD was not part of the plan. Either way you’re an absolute wild card now, and I am very interested by that.

And I'm not lying about it being planned, you had a 99% chance of being dead. And you made that 1% into an absolute certainty. Which makes absolutely no sense and I love the underdog appeal behind it!

The only thing that matters is the fact that you are trying, no matter the odds or the mistakes the fact you are trying while going through such a difficult time is noteworthy on its own. Kid you've got massive guts and you should respect that.

So, in my opinion, that guardian angel or whatever can get it right up bum. Dum diddy-dum, here I come bizatch! Who do dot Funkadelic hoe be thinking she be, anyway, aye? Breakfast didn't help you at all n' is just train ta use yon' fo' her own purposes. Da most shitty kind of playas is dem dot look down on others. "I could do dis wit ease, whets takin you so long?" well fuck no-one cares if you can do it easy palsy. Everyone has they own pace n' strength n' just cut your betta doesn’t mean you git to Bleh, whatever playa! Anyway, keep fighting! Keep suffering! Keep giving me a phat show!

Jump lily frog! Jump until you can jump no mow' bizatch! Or be crushed ta dirt nap!

Ah, I got too heated there. I can't help but find that there's some sort of...art in the nonsensical language other people use and yeah sure I said I wouldn't do it again but hell I find it fun to do and it's not like anyone else is hearing this.

Anyway, to make a long story short: You're doing good kid, keep going on and maybe you'll get what you want.

Also yeah do be careful with your toy there, it is still not completely stable despite everything, and I've got no real idea on how you could possibly use it. But anyway, that's all my free time again (this is one hell of a day ngl), do send a message by genuflecting whenever you feel like it and I'll reply as soon as I'm able.

And that is the Meatball God out for now...?

That was the Tie Breaker Dojo!

Since this is a rather important vote, I'm going to wait until tommorow for the tie to be broken.
And do expect a thread 2 by then. But until then have a nice night yall.
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[x] Pick it up again, maybe she’s right. Maybe you do need a guardian angel.
Having someone that watches over you sounds nice.
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And I'm not lying about it being planned, you had a 99% chance of being dead. And you made that 1% into an absolute certainty. Which makes absolutely no sense and I love the underdog appeal behind it!
Hah, I get that reference I think.
[X] Eat the phone.
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