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File 163087273747.png - (114.35KB, 276x262, Rumia is the mpv of this story.png) [iqdb]
31398
Time: 9 pm ; Date: 07/07/2017
Location: Forest of Magic


Today is a day like almost no other, except not. For today was a special day for a special person, except not again. The truth is this story was going to be a little bit different, a little less Anonesque.

That is to say today Anon must perish.

Members of the Anonymise Anonymous are in the majority outsiders, outsiders that must eat memes to survive, despite being good at puking up write ins all anons have lost the ability to use their brain cells however they are very good at digesting moe and garr with levels of intensity that would quickly give any of us a heart attack. Anons have evolved into exceptional invaders with extraordinary abilities of just not dying when people want them to! Yet all of this may come from the lack of an particular sense: their own individuality and any variants of them are pure bred chaos.

If you were to walk on the street and meet an Oni, it’d try to drink with you or have wrestling match. If you were to meet an Kappa, they’d try to sell their overprized wares at you. If you were to meet a tengu, they’d either act like an elitist snob or try to wrangle info out of you.

But no one knows what will happen if you meet with an anon, they might give you candy, stab you with a knife, declare their eternal love to you and many more in any order. All Anon’s lack the ability to act like a normal person or function in Society of any form. An irreversible genetic mutation in the common ancestor among them made their common sense receptors inoperable. So what may seem like an simple and logical problem to solve using a key on a door may instead give them the idea to lube up an table on oil so they can ride it down a hill and smash into the door for the same result.

This may explain why all of them have such exceptional sturdiness, their brains will not supply them with the funny amount of dopamine if they do not comply to their inner wacko, you take all my ding dongs away and I’d go a little crazy too…hence most of them lurk everywhere but the village.

What other evolutionary quirks do the anon have? How does one successfully avoid or survive an encounter with one? I’m so sad to say that you will find those answers with your own hands otherwise you’d never grow on your own and would most likely continue this rut of an existence.

Soon, the anons will arrive. They’ll come in waves that increase in intensity as time passes bye, your job is to make sure they don’t leave the forest. To let them get in and have you dispose of them is more manageable than forcing them all out one by one. Apologies for the sudden quest.

Happy Birthday Rumia! and enjoy your all you can eat buffet. More instructions will come once you manage to take down the first one. Just trust your instincts~

Dream Message sent by you know who~

...This the part where you wake up yknow? how else willl you capture all of the anons? I don't have the time to watch you drooling like a fool all cozy against a tree. Aren't you nocturnal anywa-it doesn't matter. either way this adventure cannot begin with you in this state.

SO WAKE UP AND GO FULLFILL YOUR DESTINY!

[] Wake up.
[] Don’t Wake up
[] Genuflect
Forgot to add.

This is my entry for Spooktember: https://www.thp.moe/gensokyo/res/16356.html
[X] Wake up.
[X] FULL OF ENERGY
[X] AND HUNGER
Good luck.
[x] Genuflect
Then
[x] Wake up
Salute the sun.
[x] Genuflect
-[x] Just genuflect.
[X] Don’t Wake up
"The only way to win is not to play." Watatsuki No Yorihime said that, and I'd say she knows a little more about winning than you do, pal, because she invented it, and then she perfected it so that no living miko could best her in the ring of honor. Then she used her moon bullshit to capture two of every single youkai on earth, and herd them into a boat, at which point she purified the crap out of each and every one of them. And from that day forward every dighting of a lunarian was called a lunar invasion!
Unless it was a party!
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[x[ Wake up.
Time to eat!
File 16309479831.png - (18.10KB, 88x73, What does Genuflect even mean.png) [iqdb]
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Good, you're getting up. with that out of the what are you doing?

It was total humiliation to be genuflecting before the man who head patted your best friend and turned your other best friend into ice cream right before your eyes…well that did not happen at all but the potential of having to face Anon in a intense life or death heaven or hell combat was real.

But you didn’t want to fight Anon, Anon is just too strong! And you were only a stage 1 boss! Yeah while there is life, there is hope. Your precious life is irreplaceable and to waste it would be an ever bigger crime than anything. Let's live in the fullest~

So you get down to one knee, clasp both of your hands together and pray to the meatball god.
May her saucy balls deliver us from the rumblies in the tumblies and may she give us strength with her chicken dinner winner liver golden crisp delight soup…free food is just so nice~

?YOU FUCKING COWARD!? Your prayers were answered with an rock in the face. ?BETTER STOP THOSE LITTLE WIMP NIMPSQAUTCHES YOU’RE DOING OR I”LL COME OVER AND MAKE YA STAND UP LIKE AN ALLALALGASCHMIKAZOING!!? The meatball god speaks to your mind.

But Anon is scary, and you weren’t that hungry in the fï-?AM I HEARING BACKTALK? GOT THE BALLS TO SPEAK BACK TO A GOD BUT NOT TO FACE SOME LOSER FROM WHATEVERYORK? GET BACK TO WORK!!?

The meatball god was unusually mean today, but some part of it felt like it made sense. Who are you to fear anon? “Exactly child, you’re one of the meanest lean slean anon eating machines that have graced these parts of the woods, give Anon the hell of their life understood?”

Yes! You will defeat Anon and make everyone proud! Thank you meatball god ?Actually my name is O-? thank you meatball god! ?…Oh go suck a farm, I’m out. Yukari can deal with this drought of morons. Now how do I log out again?? and the presence is gone

You on the other hand are still there, wide awake and with a small bruise on the forehead. Wonder where that came from?

…That wasn’t really part of the plan, didn’t know you knew her but now is not the time for that, remember that the Anons are coming in around hmmm tell you what I’ll just send one out in advance just to be sure ergo right now! Think of it like a tutorial or easy mode okay? Good luck~

Oh, so there’s an Anon out and about in the tree cloud. That should be a nice dinner! You lower the intensity of your sphere of darkness so you can find the sunglasses you dropped on the ground. They make you look cool and confident and make the days more tolerable when you do have to remove the former for whatever reason. Well technically the evening sun do-enough talk.

You are the dusk of bad ends, the lurker of the night and the reason Anons no longer lurk here.
Though your heritage may be unknown and obscure your youkai blood is boiling hot!
Are you not the first Anon killer? Are you not Rumia!? These anons may be up and coming...

But before their stories can begin you will have already ripped them to pieces!

[] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!
[] …She's an loose canon, but man is she the girl for the job.
[] Go back to sleep, just 5 more minutes mom.
[] Genuflect
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[x] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!

Hungry Rumia best Rumia. Anon better have a cow's worth of burgers to distract us if he wants to live.
[X] Go back to sleep, just 5 more minutes mom.
I refuse. You may have thought we were playing rumia but rumia is in this context powered by anon. It is solely in anon interests to anon. Anon and anon. Anon. Zzzzzz
[x] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!
After attaining victory
[x] Genuflect
Itadakimasu.
[x] Genuflect
Where is mystia...
[x] You, Anon, the hunt begins now!
Your feet leave the ground, gravity unable to do a thing, you soar in the sky arms stretched to the sides like the saint who came back after 3 days. You are the hunter reawakened.

You think about Anon and how tasty they are, you think about how delicious they would be if you ate them raw, you think about how delicious they would be if you ate them boiled.

If you were to not eat Anon on the spot then perhaps you could share some of it with your friends? It’d be an anon barbeque! Now that’s tasty~

I’m glad to see that you’re starting to take this earnestly but Anon is on the other direction.

You turn around and fly amongst the trees, you notice you are in a forest. The forest looks peaceful. But all forests look peaceful don’t they? What if it was hurting inside while pretending to be okay?

You’d ask forest yourself but you’ve got an anon to hunt! And you don’t want to give a bad impression by coming late. There is an principle in all this after all.
You fly for a while but don’t see anything….only darkness up, down, left and right. You wonder why.

You’ve got half a mind to genu-“MAC AND CHEEEEZOOOOOOOO!” what was that?

You heard an good shout, a bad shout, a good bad shout, a bad good bad good shout that was quite loud. It came from below so you prepare yourself for your super Rumia landing.

*Plop!* You eat dirt, it’s hard to measure the ground when you can’t see. even so you believe in destiny: You don’t need brakes for girls like you never learned how to stop and you don’t need wheels for the wind shall carry you to where you need to go! Quite strange isn’t it?

“MAC AND CHEEEEZOOOOOOOO!” you hear the shout again, it’s definitely in the vicinity. Maybe like 10 steps away even. You could easily see them if you were to remove your sphere of darkness but you see there’s an secret in this that only you know. Yeah you didn’t even share it with your pals so prepare to be amazed.

You know how in mirrors you can like see someone from the other side of the room? Well as it turns out if you can see them then they can see you too. Therefore if you cannot see someone then they cannot see you either. Ergo to be blind is to be invisible.

Uhuh now isn’t that quite the unique mindset. Anyhow since you and anon are now in the same place allow me to explain further: You are to kill Anon, don’t care how you do it or who helped you do it. As long as this Anon is dead then we can get straight to the real deal. Honestly it should be quite easy since this anon self identifies as an happy meal. Enjoy your freebie~

Oh you will, quite soon in fact because like an hungry wolf with cool wolf sunglasses looming over a lamb with no sunglasses because it's a dumb lamb…
Anon will never know what hit them!

[] CQC SIGN: INSTANT TAKEDOWN!
[] INTIMIDATE SIGN: CREEPY GIRL GIGLING!
[] WOLF SIGN: POUNCES ON YOU!
[] GENUFLECT!
[x] GENUFLECT
in rumianation
[x] Question MarkSign: Is that so?
What is going on, I'm honestly lost.
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[x] Wolf Sign: Pounces on (you)!
>>31411
What's there to get? Rumia is hungry, and there is food right in front of her!
[x] WOLF SIGN: POUNCES ON YOU!

No, not in that way.
File 163110268359.png - (208.03KB, 1000x1000, You look at anon you want to eat him raw you want .png) [iqdb]
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You get down to your hand and feet but not to genuflect this time! No this is the pose of the mighty jaguar. Hunter of the rainy wood seas and object of worship in the olden times. Like this ferocious feline you stalk your prey while being hidden in the darkness of the night alongside your own.

Double the darkness means double the sneakiness, in fact since you’re invisible too there’s absolutely no way for anon oh poor anon to possibly detect you. Death incarnate is you!

“MAAC AND CHEEEZOOOO-“ You hear the sound again and leap at it’s direction, your nails hitting the mark on the spot as you start to RIP AND TEAR anon to pieces, their rigid skin is slashed open as you pin them down with a hard thud to the ground! Before Anon can even react you continue the assault as you get on top of them and start a rafale of punches aimed at their surprisingly sturdy chest.
You can hear *Tok* *Tok* sounds coming from the blows and assume that’s the bones in anon’s body breaking from the stress of having your iron fists giving him doki doki punches.

Suddenly part of anon explodes and you can feel grass on the other side. Oh god you donuted anon! that would be so baddish if it wasn’t for the lack of blood and death cries coming out of him. In fact the only thing anon gave you is dust on your clothes and splinters in your hands…

Did anon try to make love to a bush before this (Not that you would judge, everyone is free to love whoever and whatever they want after all) ? Nevertheless you open your mouth and aim for the final bite straight at the throat! BONNE APPETIT ANON!

only to taste wood…anon was a tree.

I know you couldn’t hear it. But you just made me facepalm so hard right now little moon ray. You seem to be struggling so allow me to give you a little hint: Just remove that darkness sphere and kill the mac-anon already. Whether he can see or not see you doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have the strength to fight back. Also yes I’m saying he because saying they repeatedly is just annoying. Good luck~

The voice is right. That was just a fluke. You get up and remove the darkness sphere so you can see properly see anon now. You notice you are in a forest. The forest looks peaceful and the evening sun gives the whole place a reddish glint to it.
Dang if only it was autumn then the whole place would look super romantic! Not that it really matters since you’re married to your job…well you think someone has the hots for you but again married to the job! And eating anon goes first yes!

Speaking off anon there he is! Lying on the ground is an anon wearing a yellow shirt with holes in it and brown pants that look like bread.
You’re surprised they can even walk since all the mass of fat surrounding it’s body makes you think anyone else would die from like uh the blood being unable to go anywhere? It’s a big mac anon! and you are a hungry girl~

‘’MAC AND CHEEEZOOOOO!’’ mac-anon bellows a noise out of their multiple chinned neck, their eyes are completely unfocused. You’re not sure what happened to this anon but most of them don’t’ want to be eaten normally right? He’s not suicidal though since you don’t feel any regret or fear oozing out of its body…is it a sort of fetish then? Nope no lust either.

How odd.

Either way, free food is pretty good! You float towards, land on top of the island (belly) and stare them in the eyes. It’s a nice deep brown but he doesn’t seem to see you. Oh well EAT TIME!

You try to choke him but your hands slip into his skin….

You try to donut him but your fist rebounds from his belly like an trampoline….

This anon is cheating! You try one final time as energy gathers into your fist. Only for your hand to refuse to go down?

“Eat me alive” it’s mac-anon. his voice is determined and his eyes sharp “I want to witness, the fulfilment of my destiny” his arm holds back yours with an unusual force of strength as he puts it on his chest. A bug is on his shirt now. You can hear his heartbeat.

Oka- A bug is on his shirt now you realize what that means. Wriggle is coming!

Darn it no that’s unfair! You wanted to enjoy this anon and every time you have to share a meal a with her it ends up covered in worms and bugs and all that nasty stuff.

Whenever you complain about it she just gives you that sort of look that says “Are you racist Rumia?”

Of course you’re not! You respect all the communities! From bees to butterflies, squirrels to amongooses. Even the mushroom monsters! You’re a pure carnivore so you don’t eat those anyway.

But no, you don’t want to share this anon. he looks super duper yummy even if he’s weird! But that’s antisocial too! Wriggle is a friend and always shares her catches with you too. to just all eat of anon mean she might do the same next time or even worse she’ll complain to Mystia! and then you won't have free lamprey ever again!

Mac-Anon is still staring at you, ready for this destiny thing.

To Share or not to Share? That is the question!

[ ] No! This anon is yours!
- [ ] Eat anon now!
- [ ] Relocate anon!

[ ] Wait for the Wriggle, sharing is caring.
-[ ] Sike! Eat anon in front of wriggle
- [ ] Wait for realsies

[ ] Fall in love!
-[ ] with Anon!
-[ ] with Wriggle!

[ ] Genuflect
[x] Wait for the Wriggle, sharing is caring.
-[x] Wait for realsies

Commence the building of an anon ending army. Also section off your portion, dumb dumb.

[x] Genuflect
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[x] Wait for Wriggle,
-[x] Wait for realsie,
If Wriggle shares with us then we share with Wriggle. But make sure to grab a leg - thigh muscles are good protein.
[X ] Fall in love!
-[ X] with Anon!
[x] Wait for the Wriggle, sharing is caring.
- [x] Wait for realsies

([x] Fall in love!
-[x] with Wriggle!)
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You decide to wait for Wriggle after all, it’s only fair to wait for her since the best meals are meals that are shared. Let no one say you are a bad friend!

“…?” Anon is looking at you with anticipation and confusion. If not a bit impatient.

You don’t really care about that and give him a shushing motion with your free hand, since why should the hunter care about the prey’s emotion? You are the top and anon the bottom.

That aside what to do know? There isn’t much a person can do when they’re on top of someone. Well his stomach is like an trampoline right? Let’s have some fun after all!

Boing~ Boing~ You jump on anon and enjoy the bouncing it gives you. It’s almost like being on a shaky bed except more entertaining. People should get more often on top of each other for fun times!

One flip! Two flip! You even manage to do some neat tricks, one day you’ll master the jump and become Ju

….why do you feel an bulge on your foot? Did you step on a pocket?

“It’s a natural body reaction” anon says dismissively “Am I going to be eaten or what?” his breathing is a bit raspy and his cheeks are red.

You’re not sure what that means but it doesn’t look innocent.

Wait…..wait! this is exactly what Mysti told you about!

The purification rod and the youkai bun!

The Bishamonten and the amanojaku!

The minihakkero and the master spark!

And other expressions.

Anon is in love with you!

He wants to make da behbehs!

Pollinate the sunflower!

Your hearts beats a bit faster at such a revelation but that’s quickly replaced with sadness.

No PITY!

“Sorry Anon, but this wasn’t meant to be!” you cry out with a tear in your eye as your teeth meet and tear through his throat like butter.

Not a single word comes out of him except “THAnkxanxasjasolnaaaaaaa” and blood flows out of him like a river of romance-like attributes.

He’s bleeding love as the light fades from his eyes. But you do not look away.

No, you keep eye contact until the one known as anon has died. Your bond may have been short lived and the confession was odd if not outright rude. But you admire the courage behind it.

(….What is this shi-ahem. That’s one anon down…and you’re not listening are you?)

You get off anon and start to genuflect.

(Yup you’re not listening to me)

Please hear this prayer, my most delicious and stomach rumbling Meatball God!

“Hello, welcome to the XXXXXXXXXXX Faith Line. How may I help you?” your prayer has been answered! The voice is younger and more girlish but it’s a voice regardless!

“Currently all contacts are occupied, please leave a prayer after the beep *beep*’’ You do.

“Farewell Anon, and thank you for the yummy meal you are about to deliver. May the meatball god turn you into a most delicious bun for your next life and may you find a lady bun that loves you too. May her musky sauce and quivering noodles show you the way to meatball paradise!’’

“Have a nice rest of your day, and you will probably be called back as soon as we’re able” the connection is lost once again.

A boyish voice is suddenly heard “Sup Rum” you look at the source of the voice

“What’s with that weird posture? Nice catch you got there by the way”

Standing there next to anon is your friend in all her glory. Cape fluttering in the wind, pretty fireflies all over her as if she's sparkling and her face is covered by shades similar to yours. it all ends with a confident smile...she really loves the dramatic and it shows on the one and only Bug that lightens the Night. And she’s taking the first bite. She’s taking the first bite

How dare you Wriggle! The first bite is always the best one!

You quickly run up and chew on one of anon’s legs. Those are the most muscular and healthy parts of an human’s body after all.

High on protein too!

Wriggle doesn’t say more and calmly continues to eat as well. She knows that you don’t like to talk with your mouth full. And you appreciate her understanding it.

After a few minutes of quiet eating, anon has become nothing more than bones!

You are not satisfied by just this. “Let’s hunt for more!”

You hunger for anon
.
“Hm?” Wriggle is cleaning her teeth with a stick. “You’re saying this fatso got twins or something?”

“Of course! It’s anon season!” You reply in joy.

And lie down to make bone angels out of anon. “There’s going to be lots of them here soon, and I’m going to eat them all!”

(Can I speak now? Wait no that’s the middle of an conversation. Ahem fine I’ll take a coffee break for now. Just genuflect or something once you’re ready for your next task)

Wriggle nods and lies on his side relaxed. Just doing nothing after a meal feels so good~ “Sounds like quite the adventure” the excitement in her voice can't be more obvouis.

“It’s going to be the BEST adventure! Want to join me?” You chirp.

“Nah” Wriggle refuses to join the party daw. “Thanks for the meal but I’m busy right now” she frowns.

“Busy with what?” You reflexively ask.

“Cirno has gone missing" She gets up and continues "Last time she was seen she said she was going to have a rematch with the witch. But she didn’t specify which witch so it’s up to me to find out!”

“What of the mansion?” You suggest, that’s close to the lake no?

“Noone saw her there, Dai has gone to infiltrate the house too by like becoming a fairy maid or something?” She shrugs and waves a hand.

A bunch of fireflies swarm together to create the shape of the number two. “That leaves the doll freak and laser bitch” you could have used your hand for the wait what!?

Colour leaves your face at their mention and memories of dolls stabbing through your flesh, lasers piercing your skin and many more unpleasant things come to mind. Lucky for you your SUPERIOR shades make you look unfazed.

Yeaaah that sounds like a bad time!

[] Oh….I-I can help!
[] Good luck! You got anons to hunt!
[] Genuflect
[X] I can help!

I have a dream: To reasamble team 9 and defeat the legion that is Anon.

If Magic Team has to be in the way then so be it.
[x] Oh….I-I can help!

Glorious team 9 fanon for killing Anon!
Our battle will be legendary!
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[x] I can help!
I'm not sure how useful Daiyousei or Cirno will be for the hunt, but FRIENDS.
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You shake away the fear by moving your head out and about in a rotational manner,
that means shaking the fear away just so you know. Kind of overly fancy to say huh.

Anyway you bravely declare “I can help! With your two eyes and my two eyes we will have twice the amount of eyes to look for Cirno!” and show Wriggle your hand for the good old gesture.

“Really?” she shakes it with a firm grip, smiling again “I hoped you would say that”

“And afterwards both of you can help me hunt Anon!” you are a smart youkai.

“So you’re only coming so you can eat?” that was not an wholesome tone.

“Say that again but in a more wholesome way” you defend your honor.

“So you’re only coming so you can consume?” somehow that sounds even worse.

“Yes!” You’re given up glad she understands, this way you can help your friends and then have them help you

She shrugs, as if she did not know what to expect but this. “Fine by me, anyway where should we go?” she asks YOU for some reason.

“Why are you asking me?” you ask back a question to her question, which is quite improper for a question demands a answer and an ans-you feel like this bit was already done and stop. “Are you lost? You live here!” you move to outstretch your arms as an exclamation but they are already in that position so instead you do nothing but wiggle your fingers a bit.

Her arms go to support her head like a pillow? It looks like a pose that indicates she’s thinking but chilling at the same time “My bad, I mean which witch house should we visit first? The doll one is most likely home at this hour but the other one you never know….we could trash her place if so~”

Sounds like fun “And you’re certain one of them has Cirno?”

She nods “Not really, but they’re aren’t many witches out here now are there? Hell even both of em could know where she went. She’s not hard to notice” that’s saying it mildly.

“Okay, and why is this is my decision again?” you ask her again.

“Because you’re the boss?”

“I’m the boss? The boss of what?”

“The boss of this *team*” she waves her hands “Even if that’s only cause you keep insisting on it. How could you forget that?” she asks as if it’s an actual problem. Probably sarcasm.

“Do you remember your failed insect services?” you snark back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Wriggle says a bit too hurriedly.

You helpfully clarify “You tried to make insects more useful to society or whatever but ended up ge-“

“That’s enough chatting!” Wriggle kicks your knee to make you shut up. It did not hurt “SO Alice’s house or Marisa’s house. Which one do you want to go to?”

“Gettingburnedoutslashboredandgaveupafteronly2weeks!” but no social standard can stop you.

“Whatever” Rubbing her chin in mild annoyance, the wriggle continues “You’re trying to annoy m-“

“Hehe~” you wave your hands up and down like a nightbird “Would you say that I am bugging you?” and move your eyebrows up and down like you’re a comedic genius for that pun. “GET IT?” you keep grinning.

“Why you pfah” She stops herself, a laugh almost escaping her as takes deep breaths. “Stop”

“What’s wrong? Do you dislike the way I move my eyebrows? The way I wriggle them?”

“PFFf-Stoooooooop~” and now she’s holding her stomach. “You’re not clever!”

“Not clever? I thought I was Rumia!”

“STOP….just...aaaahh I will not laugh” Damn she’s good at holding it in. her body is shaking and her face is red “I am ABOVE this witless banter” and she flies away expecting me to follow.

Well you're not!

[ ] Keep going.
[ ] Nah, that’s enough.

Also where to go?

[ ] The domain of the doll-maker.
[ ] The ordinary abode of an magician.

[ ] Genuflect.
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[x] Keep going.
Make this a thing when interacting with everyone, no matter the tension

[x] Lets bother Marisa.
What could go wrong?
[x] Nah, that’s enough. THIS TIME!
Rumia the Punful

[x] The overly cluttered abode of a magician.
Marisa's house cannot physically get any dirtier. Any wreckage we can cause would only make it cleaner.
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You float after Wriggle, carefree like the wind and deadly like a rock~
Actually rocks aren’t that dangerous now are they? Unless they come at your head at like a high enough speed to make your skull crack like an egg. An anon omelettes sounds nice

“Let’s go to the witch house! The laser one” you clarify while next to Wriggle “Also nice pun~”

Wriggle simply nods and fastens the pace “What pun?” occasionally dodging a tree or bird.

You soar through the sky with your fellow hunter, the fluttering of your clothes and your chit chat being the only noise an prey from below could hear before you’d dive at them. But by then it’d be too late of course~ the reaction time of the victim would only have the time to register their last thoughts. “Oh no” or “Why is it so dark all of a sudden?” sometimes both!

“Nothing” you know better than to explain a joke, once someone does that it stops being funny and looks outright desperate if anything. Naturally you know this because you are you. Acting cute or like an awkward dork makes it easier for prey to lower their guard only for the little girl to snap their neck!

Truly you are an threat to mankind~

But that is enough self-titbits! You have a Mari-An Anon to hunt! Forget the former cause she can and will kick our cutie patooties like uuh…. ”What rhymes with patooty?”

“Cutie, smoothie, beauty?” She looks at you for a short sec “Can you take this seriously please?” her tone is mild mix of scolding and tiredness “I don’t want to hear this all day kay?”

“Okay, in that case I’ll go full speed now!” you start to gather most of your power…

“Oho so you want to race?" a glint comes in her eye but she quickly feigns disinterest with a yawn "Maaan~ I'm not sure...what does the winner get?" You know she's interested.

"They'll get uh dibs on the first shiny thing we find!" of course you'll win anyway.

''Hmmmmmm....let me think~" Wriggle rubs her chin, snaps her finger and points it at me "Okay but I get to do the countdown"

"That's fine by me"

"Okay I'll count to 10, prepare yourself" and she starts to focus as well.


Both of us land at the ground and get on our feet. ready to fly off anytime!

You turn off all outside filters, no visuals, no sound, only the beating of your own heart can be heard.
You are Rumia. Master of the Night, Maiden of the Shadows. Lord of Darkness. It is through your efforts that people no longer let their kids play in the woods nor do couples in love frolic in the bushes due to their of you! You are the terror in the shadows, the fear of the dark incarnate and you LOVE your job: To consume them hummie-"10!'' and your world turns upside down.

“Sucker!” and Wriggle uses the opportunity to dash ahead! How dare she interrupt your musings! “It doesn’t matter how fast or strong you are if you’re smart. Cause the smartest always win!”

Darn it, you were about to give an awesome cha-Ugh screw it! MOON SIGN : MOONLIGHT RAY!

Two blue balls of an aquamarine shade come forth from your hands, “FIRE!” and they turn into fierce streams of twin lasers that you aim behind yourself, the knockback is like having a rocket attached behind yourself as your speed goes up to ELEVEN. Or TWELVE? Whatever.

Your surroundings become blurry and your eyes watery as you turn into a yellow blur of death followed by a blue trail of bullets, tears and some mild regret at not better considering the consequences of your actions. Too late to stop though!

Trees! Rocks! Fairies! You have to change your position almost every second to avoid the many obstacles that come from flying at a higher speed than one is used to! Your eyes water! your head is ringing! and frankly your bowel doesn’t feel too stable now! BUT YOU WILL NOT STOP!

And something gets smacked into your face. "Tell me, have you played Ra-'' you push it off your face and quickly continue! No time for random encounters!

Indeed for the little Night bug is but a little distance away, unaware of your sudden increase in max velocity and soon she will obtain a new surprise. Wriggle Sign: Little Bug Storm! Oh no

Dozens of bullets are heading your way and you’re going too fast to dodge them Wriggle turns around mid-flight and pulls her tongue at you, taunting you once again before continuing. She’s confident in her win due to the thing above and the fact the bullets encircle her, becoming denser and denser as one approaches like a shield. It is both an attack and a defence! A marvellous strategy!

The worst part is you have to go through it. You are going too fast to take a sudden turn left or right and have the feeling she would simply reposition herself in front of you.

What to do in this situation? You could try to simply grit your teeth and hope the bullets won’t knock you out cold thus making you fall down and eat dirt like a loser or you could try to lower your speed and accept the fact that she outsmarted you….except not.

This thing is on timeout and has 20 seconds left to go, the not having brakes was not a metaphor.

So you’re between a rock and a hot place. The kind of place you have to choose yourself! Like meatballs in a soup!

You have no idea who the voice is!

You feel like there's something on your leg!

You can't believe Wriggle outsmarted you!

But most importantly!

ARE YOU A MONSTAR OR A LITTLE WIDDLE GIRLIE!?

[ ] UP TO 20!
[ ] Slow down at any cost! with no pain hopefully.
[ ] Throw whatever has hanged onto you.
[ ] Genuflect.

Author note: By the way how does the pacing feel to y'all?
This is rather simple for me to update, so I can even just continue the moment anon has come to a decision instead of waiting 24 hours first.
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[x] Use whatever is hanging on to you as a shield, go UP TO 20!
I'm ok with any update speed, just don't go and burn yourself out.
[x] Use whatever is hanging on to you as a shield, go UP TO 20!
Stowaways are to act as part of the crew!

Pacing is good so far. Daily is nice, but it's nice to see things relatively consistent in update size. Keep at it at a suitable pace for fun updates like these have been!
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That’s right! You’re a little widdle girlie!

Wait no you’re not, you totally meant Monstar!

The coolest kind of monster!

You own coolness aside you look down at your leg to see what the stowaway is.

It’s a cardboard box looking creature with a huge face and tiny arms that look way too realistic.

It’s ugly as fuck, therefore it deserves to die. That’s the rule of the jungle.

It looks like it’s been speaking the whole time it was attached to you.

“Play it now and get a extra two thousa-“ you don’t care and pick it up with our jaw.

You are one nimble girl, like a tiger that followed yoga class-why is the ground so close now?

Ah your arms are pointing upwards now becau-NO TIME TO THINK ACT NOW!

The following seconds were a blur but if you had to resume it in one word it’d be: Box surfing.

Somehow you managed to get on top of the box and use it’s body against the ground like a meat shield, your balance is all over the place but now none of the bullets are reaching you.

But why? …oh! It’s because you went down! You couldn’t go left or right but there was no such restriction against going up or down! 3 dimensional movement are the best!

Except Wriggle doesn’t take too long to notice and tries to float closer to the ground. ''Oh no you don't!" and she shoots more aimed shots at you as she goes down bit by bit. the opportunity slowly closing.

“Oh yes I do” but you won't let your chance go away and increase the pace, it feels like you could fall off any moment but now wasn't time for fear nor restraint. no now was DO OR DIE time.

UP TO 20 YOU LITTLE BUG SUCKER! MOON LIGHT SIGN: MOON RAY (LUNATIC) your speed goes UP TO 20 and BEYOOOND, the speed so fast the box goes off the ground. you're going completely blind now!

RIGHT BACK AT YA YA SHADOW LOSER!: FIREFLY SIGN: METEORS ON EARTH ( LUNATIC ) Wriggle decides at the last possible moment that if she can't stop you from passing. then she'll have to CRASH into YOU!

Time slows to a crawl as the view of you and Wriggle escalating what was supposed to be a small game into an outright life or death competition comes to your mind. why is this happening again? there was a price right?

A small moment of pre-about to do something awesome clarity comes over to you: that's simply how your nature is like. as a youkai it is only normal to have your blood boil for conflict and violence. it makes one feel alive.

It's why most of your social life are dick measuring with the others, who's the strongest against Cirno, who's the most charming against Mystia and who's the smartest against Wriggle. these bastards add spice to your life.

Boy do you love them for it! and you feel like you're going a bit too far. someone might actually get hurt.

Only a micro second before the impact, you decide to do a small flip so the stowaway can cushion most of the blo-

*BOOOOOOM!* it explodes into bloody gibs the moment both of feet hit each sides as everything goes black...

….You wake up in complete darkness, the surroundings feel tight, dry and isolating as if something or someone is trying to choke you in a sea of nothingness.

Moving around feels hard for some reason, like a bunch of stones are crushing your windpipe while you await a most agonizing death...if you were human that is.

Wait that aside did you just die? You’re covered in blood but wait no it isn’t yours. Oof.

The first thing you do is lick it. that's only common sense.

You smack your lips a bit and let the flavour roll around a bit in your tongue trying to see if you recall anything about it….
yep that is definitely anon blood.

Anyway there really isn’t much to do here other than question how your life went?

You feel like you definitely won that race so perhaps it was all worth it? Definitely! You have no regrets in life!

Except eating more anon, they all tasted so good. It makes your stomach rumble~


You decide to not die for today (Come on, dying on an empty stomach?) and climb your way up through the darkness you are in? you definitely feel solid stuff when you can scratch around so perhaps you were buried alive?

Your musings don’t last long though as soon you see the light!

….And garbage everywhere once you exit the sea of items your corpse as a short acquaintance off.

The room you were in could have been the personification for chaos if you were such a fancy of gal to describe things like that: there are books on the floor, chairs on what seems to be the ceiling? Liquids leaking from surfaces that don’t look so wholesome and a giant girl shaped hole coming out from one of the walls nearby.

You wonder who’s responsible for the latter. What a rude way to enter

You dust yourself off and hear some moans when you walk by another hump of items. Ghosts?

It’s kind of spooky. What if the items were sentient and wanted to consume you?

Anyway you’re in item hell, there’s no Wriggle but you remember your reward! You get to pick the first shiny thing you want in this place right? Let’s go for the looooooot!

[ ] Ooh, that’s a shiny lamp. Let’s rub it!
[ ] Ooh, those are some yummy legs sticking out. Let’s eat em!
[ ] Ooh, that’s a nice mini furnace. Let’s have a barbeque!
[ ] Oooh, is that a chainsaw?? let's cut anons with it!
It's assumed that you only pick one of the above


[ ] Call out for Wriggle
[ ] Escape item Hell
[ ] Genuflect.

Author note: Thanks for comment on the pacing and will keep it in mind.
[x] Oooh, is that a chainsaw?? let's cut anons with it!
Groovy.

[x] Call for Tewi Wriggle.
We came here to find a Cirno, we ain't going back now.
[x] Ooh, those are some yummy legs
[x] Don't eat em raw! oil em! boil em! put em in a soup!


[x] Call for Wriggle.

I think that's Marisa under the pile. let's interrogate here for where the strongest is.

But if it's just a bunch of legs.

[x] Rub dat lamp
[x] Wish for Cirno.
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[x] Pic Related
also
[x] Escape item Hell.
[X] Ooh, those are some yummy legs sticking out. Let’s eat 'em!
- [X] Roast 'em with the mini furnace!
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77 101 97 110 119 104 105 108 101 32 105 110 32 119 111 114 108 100 115 32 115 105 109 105 108 97 114 32 116 111 32 111 117 114 115 32 97 110 100 32 116 105 109 101 115 32 111 110 99 101 32 112 97 115 115 101 100 58:

Time: 9: 30 Pm ; Date: 07/07/17
Location: Marisa’s house #68B


You look at the items for a second, they all look so nice.

You wonder if you could just take them all and leave with em?

Nah, you walk towards what you think was a chainsaw and pick it up.

It is a chainsaw! With a black handle and pink blades it looks really girly!

It also has your name engraved on it? So it must be yours!

You hold it with both hands and pull on the whatchacall thingie that makes it go vrrrrr vrrrrrr~

VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! yeah just like that! Now that it has turned o- IIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAVVVEEEEEEEEEE AWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKEEEEEEEEEENEEEEEEEEEEED!! the chainsaw shouts out a deep voice, filled with joy and relief as it glows luminescent.

You drop it cause objects don’t talk. It IS possessed after all. So back to the trash!

OW, You fucking bitch! Who in the nine fucks just drops a man like that!? Do you wanna die is that it? Where are you motherfucker!? Come here so you can buy the farm! it starts to sink into the trash Wait….no no! no! NO! I don’t want go to back in there! Someone! Anyone pick me up! I WAS KIDDING BRO! IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO! You just watch it slowly sink. The regret and fear oozing out of it filling a little bit of your appeti-

DAMMIT! I’M SORRY MASTER RUMIA I FAILED YOUUUUU- hold on a moment.

“Why are you calling me master?” you pick it up, your curiosity is aroused like a musking elephant.

Who said tha-ah It doesn’t have eyes but you feel a gaze regardless. M-master! You’re alive! and now you can swear it feels like it’s about to burst into tears. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

“??” you frown for a moment. Did you really know this thing? You’re certain of not. “Stop lying!”

………. It stays quiet.

You stay quiet.

The yummy legs nearby are moving and mhhhhm and hnnhhgggh noises can be heard from it.

Those moe moe~ bastards got to you didn’t they? Fucking anons just brainwashing little girls like that. Do you REALLY not know who I am? Not even the slightest feeling of familiarity?

You shake your head “Never met you in my whole life~” and start to get confused.

I’ll make it short then since we don’t have much time: You and me have GARR POWER. The epitome of what is COOL, GREAT, AWESOME, MANLY! all in one energy source.

Our goal is to defeat the stupid evil power that is MOE. The power of all that is frail, dumb, cute and WEAK! I am MOEFIRMANATOR: THE MACHINE THAT MAKES LITTLE GIRLS INTO BIG MEN! and you are Rumia: Big Strong Little Girl Man and wielder of ME. The magical organization of MOE: Magical Organization of Ethicality also known as a bunch of fucking mary sues out to ethnic cleanse the SHIT out of anything that isn’t wholesome has found it’s way into this la-


“Make it shorter!”

Help me CUT APART *magical SPACE nazis that are out to make everyone BORING and PEACELOVING. Via BRAINWASHING HEADPATS if you don’t COMPLY* by GUTTING and RIPPING the shit out of em using ME as your GARR WEAPON to keep the fuckers PERMADEATH!

“So you want to hunt anon with me?”

Are these anons characters that are either batshit unpredictable or mind numbingly boring due to how Overpowered they are? Nator something inquires.

“Sure? I’ve like killed two with almost no effort so far .Unless that’s only on easy mode? What’s an easy mode anyway? Does that mean things will become harder?” you ask

That works just fine by me. You want something dead or ripped apart then I’m your weapon Master! Let us carve a path of blood and head to the garden of manliness! it ignores the question.

“I’m still not convinced” everything it said sounds like a bad story. A shitty one even.

They’re going to make everyone vegetarian if they win

Let’s kill those fuckheads ” you pick up the engine of death and hold it in front of you, the weight, the sound of the blades moving…it somehow feels right to ya.

(RUMIA, YOUKAI OF DUSK. YOU PUT THAT OBJECT DOWN RIGHT NOW!) and another voice come-oh no she’s just back.

“Why?” You don’t outright say no since she got you two free meals.

(WHY? Be- because that’s a! THAT”S A ANON OBJECT YOU…) the voice takes a deep breath (Look, that’s an anonymous object you’re holding. It’s not some youkai nor magical object. That right there is one of the many anomalies trying to enter the forest. Anons can be anything and anyone and that is an anon)

An anon? what kind of lies did this PUSSY put through your brain master? I only live to cut down the flesh of your foes. No more no less. What’s there to be suspicious about? Fucking hell

(Rumia listen to me! We’ve only known each other for like a few minutes and sure I could have better explained some stuff before just throwing into stuff but you need to DROP that thing.

Believe in me! That’s an anon object out to derail all of our efforts and to make your life end into a freaking mess. YOU MUST NOT TRUST IT. I’ll explain everything if you just leave now. Drop the chainsaw! Actually don’t touch anything you found. Just burn it all or something!)

….To be honest, they’re both pretty suspicious now that you think of it.

Don’t they both want you to you just kill people? Not that you mind since people are yummy but any adventure that’s like all difficult and no fun is no good either.

Yeah they’re not trustworthy.

Is that the right word? not to say they seem deceitful but hey you've only known them for so long.

But you know someone who you definitely trust!

WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ” You call out for your friend, please hear my cry for aid you Bugger “I HAAAAAAAAAVE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD” you say afterwards just to tempt her into running for you.
Unless that’s for dogs and cats? Who cares. Let’s tune both voices out!

You hear a noise behind yourself and turn around ready for battle.

Suddenly 5 adolescent shinobi kappa have surrounded you. They don’t look friendly.

Except not, it’s just the legs. They grew a butt.

Does that mean they’re evolving? The secret behind the butt?

No, that sounds wrong. The secret inside the butt?

*Grumblies in the tumblies* Ah yes, you hunger for Anon butt.

But where does one find good food in this place?

Is there even a kitchen?

Will Mom and Dad get along? these voices ever shut up!?

Find out right now!

[ ] Trust the Saw, hunt for Moe (GARR route?) (Mutually exclusive from Voice)

[ ] Trust Voice, hunt for Anon (Anon route?) (Mutually exclusive from Saw)

[ ] Just focus on helping Wriggle for now. (Wriggle route?)

========

And what next?
[ ] Set the house on fire
[ ] Raid the house for food.
[ ] Why raid when those legs are right there?
[ ] Options from previous update are still viable too.

Author note: Instead of asking for a tie break. here's another update!

Not sure it this technically counts as filler since you got more info. I shall await you warmly!

Friendly Reminder: I feed on your doubt, that's not a confession to being a youkai

And minor confession: I almost forgot to update today, but no way am I breaking that streak now.
[ ] Genuflect

I forgot to add that option!

I now officially deserve an thousand deaths!

Rumia versus the forces of Anon! CANCELLED!

Just kidding, but serouisly that's my bad.
[x] The saw is AWESOME it's POWERFUL it's...unruly...

[x] Genuflect. The saw may only be kept if it vows to genuflect with us. Not, like, literally- you get the idea.

Oh, and
[x] Leg option
X] TAKE THAT SAW!

It resonates with my soul!

[X] Make those legs into something yummy.

I'd sooner risk being manipulated by something that epic then be stuck listening to some boring voice.
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On second thought it really doesn’t matter now does it?

You hunger for Anon

Saw hungers for Anon

We both hunger for Anon.

That makes the both of you kindred spirits!

You tighten your grip on saw to get it’s attention “I’m going to keep you on one condition”

And WHAT would THAT be Master? It immediately pays attention to you.

(Rumia you are making a deadly mistake!) Voice repeats itself like a radio.

You ignore it “You genuflect with me….to me! Vow that now and uh yeah”

That could have gone better, but you’ll get used to leadership eventually.

That’s all? Sure I can do that: I VOW to follow YOU as long as you do not become a FILTHY MOE~ propagandist or testosterone DRAINING BITCH. My power is yours MASTER!

MOEFIRMANATOR is now following you! (Default nickname is Saw).

That sure was easy, in a good way. Why you would ever complain about that is beyond yourself…which shouldn’t be the case since you’re you.

So what now Master? Is there anyone you wish torn asunder? Saw asks you as casually as one would ask the weather.

(I am not going to all-) IGNORED, you look around the place instead.

Your eyes return to the legs, and you approach them for it is time….

GOURMET TIME! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GunbSE2yrQ )

Behold, this is the proper way to enjoy a meal (but only in occasions where you actually have a kitchen, a house and time to waste which is rare for most forest youkai but hell if you’re not going to waste this opportunity)

Freshness: A respected Gourmet only uses the best ingredients, hence one always has to double check that their stuff hasn’t already rotten.

(This is Vile Rumia, vile you hear me?)

The legs have a nice white skin to them covered in black small shoes who themselves have a bit of white wrappings around them. So on a visual basis they seem fine if not give the whole meal the appeal of a pudding dessert.

Their touch is soft and warm and confirms that it’s the succulent meat of a young maiden at the prime of her age. Not only that but one can feel the heat of the blood flowing through her veins.

This means in most cases that you’re prey is FOCKING RAW

But you like them that way anyway so let’s continue!

Seasoning: A little bit of salt and oil can do wonders to enhance the flavour of an average dish into one that is well-made. Do keep in mind the allergies of your fellows since watching your snail bud melt to death isn’t no fun.

If you don’t LIKE it then why not try to STOP it WIMP? (I cannot for I’m not allowed to physically interfere for but a few special occasions…)

Sadly you could not find such things and so are just rubbing off some of the blood on your hands on the legs as a substitute. It’s kind of hard to do since it feels dirty and sticks to one’s hands like honey but you have a secret: Just use the tongue~ (WHAT!?)

That’s right, get your face close to those legs. And start lapping up the blood you got on your body so you can smear it all across the latter’s legs at an peaceful and serious pace. Make sure the skin ingests it all by adding an extra layer once you’re done with the first round. Rinse and repeat until that white skin now gleams like an evening sun.

Another step done. You truly are a master eater.

Oh and IF the legs start kicking around in a panic then simply back off for a moment and go fetch some proper restraints! You’d hate to get your shin kicked in while cooking now would you?

Avoid all kitchen danger! Not Kitten Danger! though you can see why anyone would make that mistake. Simply don't let any in your kitchen and that's one of the two removed.

(…This is wrong on so many levels Rumia) Ign (NO! You shut up for once! And listen to me! You listen to me! Cut it out! Only anon can be eaten!)

She isn’t going to do SHIT, have your fun master and IGNORE her. Bitch is all BARK and NO BITE! ....Maybe even a MOE BASTARD!?

(SHUT UP! That’s Marisa you’re trying to fucking vore! I’m warning you Rumia if you even pull one hair on her. If you show me that you really mean to eat her then I have no choice but to interfere!)

Sorry what was that? WOOF WOOF? ARK ARK?

Now finishing touch: listen carefully for these are the final steps: put your meal under some fire, oven or what have you for apparell.

Wait a bit and out it comes cooked and ready to be used! Sadly you cannot demonstrate this part for what you thought was a mini furnace was but an useless box of bollocks!

However you can still do the cuttings, and salting for preservation.

So let us start off our chainsaw and RI-*Ding Dong* one moment.

You put down the chainsaw and investigate the noise.

Someone just rung at the door. Who could it be?

You did not expect any guests today.

[ ] Open the door
[ ] Ask “Who’s there?”
[ ] Try to take a peek.
[ ] Invite them to dinner
[ ] Stay quiet and hope the person goes away.
[ ] Genuflect

[ ] Change Nickname of Follower.
[x] Open the door
What are we gonna do? Hide the giant hole into the house?
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You open the door, what else can you do anyway?

That blond hair, weird eyes and blue skirt can only be one person.

It is Alice, the weirdo who plays with dolls all days.

“You look like you’re thinking of something rude” she says deadpan.

“I am not” you reply while standing in front of the door, making sure she cannot see the body behind you…wait you can’t see that from the door entirely.

Good

“Ok” Alice looks you up and down before asking “May I enter?”

“No!” you reply immediatly.

That girl has the habit of ruining any meal you come accros by saving their lives whenever they manage to get close to her home.

She's an enemy!

You don’t want that to happen again “I am busy” you point up your chin to look stuffy “Very busy”

Alice tilts her head “I thought you were Rumia?” then nods “Regardless of your name. I must enter to reclaim what belongs to me” and looks you in the eye “By force of need be”

You frown a bit “What are you looking for?”

“My house” her voices becomes a bit sad now “I cannot find it”

“…This isn’t your house though?” where is she going with this?

“You misunderstand, I think Marisa has my house”

“What?” your brain is starting to tingle “Did she steal your house?”

She nods “Imagine my distress when I go to the human village to buy some groceries
Only to find my house gone the moment I return. All of my precouis dolls were in there too”

“You poor woman!” you start to feel bad for her.

“I know she’s an raging klepto but there’s a limit to what one can and should do!"

A doll comes out of nowhere and gives her an handkerchief. “Thank you Shanghai" and she uses it.

Wait a minute "You said all your doll-"

We really aren’t having a good day” she looks at you with sympathy.

“We?”

“Why yes, you are covered in blood”

“It’s not mine~” you say defensively.

“A joy to the world” she grabs your hand “Could we have some tea? I’d love some calm after all this anarchy. And you seem like a generous host” her face is really close to yours now.

What does a host mean anyway?

[ ] Let her in, have some tea.
[ ] Handholding is too lewd, headbut!
[ ] This feeling….it is love!
[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Headbutt/Spy Check

Alice is SUS, my belly button says so.
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(Image is a spoiler, don't look at it until indicated plz, unless tagging a pic nsfw doesn't hide it)

You frown at her, the puppeteer has never acted this familiar with you nor does her story really make a lot of sense right?

It’s all too convenient really.

So you lean your body backwards…

And smash your skull against her forehead!

An odd watery noise can be heard from the blow and you’re if it has hurt anyone since it felt like punching the mac-anon’s belly.

Probably her since her head just fell off, not like I-wait what?

https://youtu.be/XIxldaEVSOQ (You may look at the image now)

The headless puppeteer slowly looms back up.

Her no it's size increasing as her arms stretch in an unnatural way.

Odd scars and stitches replace the once white skin and turn it an aged dusty grey.

“ruMiA” black ooze pours out its neck as it speaks

“YoU aRe” it becomes bigger and less like Alice as time goes on.

“VeRY rUdE” yet it sounds happy?

Just like earlier it’s tone comes off as odd. “bUt cLeVeR…bRaVo fOr sEeIng tHrOugh mY rUsE”

It tends out an bloated hand towards you.

The scent of death fish and nails black as charcoal show that touching it would be an bad idea.

So you don't.

You also take a step back to give it space “Who….no WHAT are you?” you ask with curiosity.

“KUHuHuhU~” it has no mouth yet you hear it laugh. “I’M jUsT yOur frIEnd?”

You shake your head “You’re smelly, weird and quite ugly. And I was never friends with Alice?”

“KUhuU-EGho~” it cackles to some joke only it understands “YOu aRe so cUtE RUmI, sO YoUnG aNd fIlLeD wItH JOY, yoUr lOvAbLe sKiN fReSh aS a sPrInG leAF. ThAt sUnNy lOoKing haIr aNd thOsE bEaUtIGul crImSoN PeEpErS aRe sYcH a joY tO lOoK at…yOu’Re vErY prEtYy RUmIa. wAnT tO bE fRiEnDs?” something wooden starts to grow out of the stump you made, it continues growing…

“Nah~” You just refuse her like that “I’ve got enough pals already, also you’re ugly!” you laugh.

It stops laughing and just stares at you

You stare back all smile “UUUuuuuuuglyyyyyyyyyyyy” and you giggle as you taunt it.

(What the duck are you doing, do not agitate it) oh and the voice is back again.


“NoW nOw rU-“Ugly like a dead cat, ugly like a rat. Ugly like something that’s better off dead!” you interrupt it to create a new song. The ugly song! For things just like these.

(Don't care if you'll listen to this or not but you have to hear it: That is not an ordinary Anon it is a Fanon Master. a creature more powerful and rarer than most anons you would meet during your hunt. they have the ability to influence people if not outright posses them and cannot be reasoned with. It will kill you for the fun of it so run! run for your life because there's no way for you to possibly defeat such a thing in your current stage! this is Hard mode Rumia!)

“…..” All of it turns to flies as it gains a new form: an amalgamation of Alice and not Alice is born before you, fierce wood like antennas are on its head now and two small dolls decorate it. Only one looks similar to it as the other has green hair accompanied by a cutesy cape, both seem more alive than it. The face of it has not been properly restored as the eyes are empty and the nose outright gone. The mouth is however still there with rows and rows of teeth in it, they are stained black by the eyes oozing ooze into the mouth and overall it gives it a more wilder impression. The arms and hands have become the size of your skull…No it could crush you with one hand and larger than the item hell house. It seems to have outright lost all sense of fashion at the lower body since that one resembles a fire fly larva with it’s tough hides and several insect legs, it’s a new breed of doll, insect and whatever it was made off.

“YOuR imMaTuRe bEhAvoIR iS sUcH a sHaMe…I WiLl hAvE tO tAkE yOuR bOdY aFtEr yOu’Re DeAd” an edge is behind it’s voice and dolls spawn out of the body, their appearances a pitch perfect copy of him except for the heads, those are comically larger than their own bodies.

Also they wield weapons, how convenient.

Your weapon is still inside the house, how inconvenient.

You can’t help but continue giggling “Scary~ but that won’t happen if I eat you first!” why would you fear it? it's nothing but a fake youkai right? "You smell like an Anon"



“J̷͈͕͕̹̄͂̽ơ̶͕̣̞͍̭̝̜̹̠̥͝I̶̻̦͗̀́̓͆̑͌̌̚͝n̶̙̙̬͓͙̗̑̀͘ ̷̝̲̱̦̹͕̣̽̊̓̂̔̓͜͜t̸̤̬̫̬͇̎̽̀̇̀͊̅͗͑̚H̷̛̙͎̺̤̩̙̖͈̓͗̏̾͘͜͝͝͝ę̶͔͖̜̀͆̏̅͜ ̸̢̧̢̬͖̃͗̽̑̎̕̕͝F̵̢̩̹̲͈̞̙̀̊̽̾̒͑a̵̲̜͈͔̠̫̻͇͂̈́̀M̶͓͖̼̺͗̐̈́̍̉͊į̷̬͙̞̳̘̌́̏̉̅͐̓L̶͔̟̀͂͑̈́́̃̇͛̚͠y̶̡̥͙͖͌͛͂̇̋̏̓̚ ̶̡̛̜͔͎̱̙̭͍̊̅̾̍̂́͘ͅr̸̡̼̟͚̱̺̼̒̍Ǘ̶̲͖̱̞͍̠͔͓̙͈̋͗́̐̎̋̓͊m̶̜̋ͅi̸̤̣̱̻̻̠͈̓̃͐̏̐̃̂̚͠͝À̴͔̙Ȁ̷̲̦̻͖̖̤̮͚A̴̢̭͚̝̹̲̩̝̠̳̿͌̄̑̎́̈́̈̀͘A̸̡̧̲͇̭̻̥̋ͅͅÄ̶̗́̉̅̀̎͊͑̌͊À̶̘̠͙̻̕͜!̵̀̈́̕
̧̬̠̣̺̳̻̍̒͌͘͜”̴̯̘͎̩̖͈̮̖̂͒̃͆̀̓͌͑̅͐!” The battle cry has been shouted, its arms swing towards you trying to crush you, dolls charge to impale you with their weapons and you…

You are going to fight! (Music changes to https://youtu.be/dnM-AGiAtxk for the following posts.)

You are the Youkai of Dusk, the lurker in the night. The one that humans fear and run from at sight

Though your heritage may be unknown and obscure, your youkai blood is boiling hot.
You know the odds are low, and you don’t know where your friends are either but that doesn’t mean now is the time to get scared or give up!

(...I knew you would say that. There is no controlling you after all. Heavens know I tried to do my job properly too...
But the least I can do is help you regardless. I'll observe the fight and will see if I notice any weaknesses or have any hints to give....like try to free the host? it's but a parasite corrupting someone... never mind that was kind of an random suggestion, the only way to help them now would to beat it out of them probably...sorry info is low on these since again rare.

Just press Get a clue whenever it's available. No shame in doing so.

Anyway as your guide I will do my best to make sure that the hunt will proceed smoothly)

Your heart is beating with the heat of an raging fire! Your friends are spread throughout the land! But no Anon will get to stand in your way! Feel the might of the shadows! The darkness that can overcome even the fiercest of light! Prepare yourself for Rumia!

A hopeless battle starts: Fanon Master: Yandere Alice wants your body!

Rumia versus the forces of Anon!

[ ] Darkness! use the opportunity to go for the first strike!
[ ] Retreat inside! Get rid of the minions in the house!
[ ] Curtain Fire! Fly and shoot to outmanoeuvre em!
[ ] Write in.

[ ] Genuflect. Rumia refuses to surrender!

Easy Mode has ended, Rumia's plot armor is gone so in circumstances like these you can now die!
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[x] Retreat inside, Get Marisa, destroy the minions.
By Okina, I hope Marisa is still herself. And that she can be woken up without to much trouble. And that she can help fight quickly
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You Rumia are about to be crushed into paste and turned into a pincushion by something that may or not be out of your league.

(What are the odds of one little girl beating up an eldritch creature?)

Surely one can use the power of friendship to prevail against all odds or something along the lines like that…

(Yeah no, fighting that head on is just begging for death. )

So you shoot a laser to force yourself backwards. The gigantic hand crushes the spot you were just on as your ass is knocked back inside the house.

The bug-dolls? give chase immediately like wild dogs out on a hunt.

You quickly get up and slam the door shut before a bunch of spears stick out from the other side like raindrops.

The dolls are beating against it and will soon manage to get inside, even faster once they realize there’s a big giant hole just on the other side of the place.

There’s no time to lose!

But what does one do now? Make up a battle plan?

Yeah that sounds correct! But how does that work?

You try to think calmly, the thing is big and can make dolls but it also has insect powers…so it’s faking to be both Alice and Wriggle?

The strengths of both and the weakness of neither? Wait no that’d be BS.

(Again, that kind of bullshit is one of their main traits)

Enough! Think BIGGER! it is BIG therefore it is an easy target. Just shoot the hell out of it with DANMAKU and avoid melee range and you’ll be fine!

Wait no that’s an assumption too!

You feel like you're panicking and slap yourself. FOCUS Rumia! You can do this!

But CAN you even hurt it? You’re not sure, you’d need one hellavu LASER to pierce through that insect hide!

(If only you knew someone who could shoot Big lasers)

Wait a minute: Big + Laser= The Master spark! The mea-Witch can help! Her firepower could disintegrate all of it!

You rush deeper into the house and almost fall because objects are littered everywhere and manage to make it back to where you were.

The butt is still there! you approach it an-*Boom!* the sound of an explosion rings through the house, they blew up the door.

You get to the other side of the pile and start digging with one hand, ready to shoot out spray of bullets with the other. You know the witch is awake and struggling in there probably. She didn’t shout or anything so perhaps she’s lying down th- Bullets incoming!

You hide behind cover as six dolls shoot red lasers in unison at you lock you down while another double trio slowly crawl towards your cover armed with spears ready for murder.

Dolls that can strategize is cheating! or is that the bug part of em acting?

No choice but to go all out! You jump out and use NIGHT SIGN: NIGHT BIRD! Light and Dark Blue bullets come swaying out from left and right like the waves of a beach, their tempo gives the image of a bird beating it’s wings ! They force the dolls back to the defensive, the melee ones instantly fall due to their proximity. 6 down instantly

But the ranged support stops and calmly proceed to dodge the Curtain Fire, but even though their movements are slow and precise 2 more fall. (That leaves only 4)

The fancy thing about Spell cards is that they’ll keep shooting until the user has been hit a certain amount of times or enough time has spent. (Typically between 20 and 30 seconds but for simplicity you made all yours last 25)

Ergo this lets you multitask.

Aka they’re stalled, and that gives you the time you need to…

Pull the witch by her legs and force her out like a plant out of a field, and you again just barely dodge the pile trying to bury both of you.

Other than the bloodied legs (thanks to your masterful saucing), the girl only has dust and some other junk stuck over her clothes. Her head has a large bump and she’s sleep talking. Also her hat seems to have some potions hidden in it. You know cause a red one just dropped. She looks so yumm-no bad Rumia!

You slap her several times “Wake up! There’s a monster out to eat you! Yes I count! But someone else too! WAKE UP SAUCY LEGS!”

She doesn’t even respond as her cheeks become red from the impacts.”Hng…I’ll never tell where the boss is ze!” Oh god she really is in dreamlands huh, those were hard slaps too!

You wonder who’s responsible for this condition, this isn-you feel a stare drilling on your back….it’s behind you isn’t it?

(It is)

“RuMiAAAA~” Not-Alice can be heard through the hole in the wall. with its head on the ground you see one eye staring at you “cOmE tO mAmA~” it begins to make the hole larger as it inserts one finger, two fingers inside Marisa’s sanctuary and then tries to go pincer you with them as if they’re chopsticks and you a delicious snack. “don’t rUn!” it orders with a annoyed voice as it’s finger aren’t even close to getting you.

"Sorry, I'm a big girl now~" Cause you shoved the witch over your shoulder and backed off like a normal person…only to feel the sensations of a sharp needle burning your back ouch!...that vicious feeling clearly comes from danmaku.

You turn around and see the 4 remaining dolls slowly approaching as well. They’ve gotten down the timing of the spell card.

Shit that means you’re surrounded on both ends.

How to get out of this?

You could just jump through a window. Even if humans tend to be injured from glass shards because of that…hell even paper can cut the weaklings...maybe she deserves to die then? How dare she be unconscious anyway?

Or perhaps just make a mad dash through either side. Sure Danmaku hurts a lot (That's an understatement) but isn't actually lethal though getting knocked out won't end peacefully.


(The chainsaw is also another option, even if I don't approve of it)

Where did it go anyw-Oh it’s just lying there! so you pick it up.

What’d I miss Master? Is it SLAUGHTER time? that honest question makes you look back at the boss…it is tempting.

But seriously it’s now or never!

[ ] Use your own power!
-[] Create a darknesss! (Range: Self, Specify. The whole area)
-[] Shoot a laser/Shot. (on who?)
-[] Use a Spellcard! (on who?)


=============

[ ] Go through!
-[] The hole in the wall (Boss awaits you)
-[] The door (Dolls await you)
-[] The window! (None, still a risk)

=============

[ ] Use an item!
-[] The MOEFIRMANATOR! (on who?)
-[] The potions! (on who?)
-[] The Witch! (KO)


[ ] Get a clue!
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[x] Use a blast of danmaku on the window, then fly through it.
Hopefully, Eintei is open for business. Or Marisa's coat is tough enough to deflect glass.
[x] Use items
-[x]Potions to the hand
-[x]MOEFIRMANATOR to the dolls

[x] Get a clue!

We're Rumia carrying around Marisa, we need to take out targets if we plan to run. I'm also assuming that the spell card has at least ten seconds left to rush at least two dolls.
[x] Throw Marisa at the dolls.

[x] Run away during the distraction.

The witch is a deadweight, save yourself

[x] Moon Sign: Moon light Ray the fuck out.
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May as well have fun doing so

https://youtu.be/kLN3SbzbNcs

The world itself turns grey as time crawls to an halt.

Suddenly a voice can be heard.

Ladies and smaller ladies!

It is time for the one thing you've all been waiting for!

The Tiebreaker Dojo!

LETS PUMP THAT GO GO MOJO!

Starring your favorite hosts: The Guide, MOEFIRMANATOR and the Meatball God!

(It's a pleasure to be here~)

Ah HELL YEAH! I'm pumped and ready for CARNAGE

?................................? No response whatsoever.

Why ain't da HU answering? is she busy or wat?

(A god has to answer every prayer they get if I recall, and in times of crisises like these many people pray to deities no?
It's only natural that she's occupied since her job concerns working in the background too. I only hope she won't burn out).

Whatever, we're not here to talk about her anyway! The voters can't decide on what to do so we ought to fix that!

(Correct, but how would even start with that? they're fickle creatures and any vote is really a blessing itself)

Allow me to demonstrate:

>>31447
>>31449

See these two? THEY"RE FUCKING PUSSIES! How dare you RUN when you got ME to RIP AND TEAR the hell out of these bastards huh!? where is that GARR POWER inside your hearts punks!? Be manly dammit! pick me up, beat the shit out of these things and save your friend like a REAL MAN! OP foes or not, nothing can stop a m-


(SILENCE! Do not insult the voters!) *BONK* (Forgive it's indescritions, while running does involve abandonning your own friend. it is still valid for some things cannot be brute forced, is it not better to come back stronger and with more allies at the cost of being seen as cowardly than to die weak and brave and achieve nothing? >>31449 I do have to say that is quite a redundant thing to do. do you not think the enemy would just ignore the body and head for you since you're the larger threat...oh dear I just had an horrible thought)

And WHAT would that be?

(Well, like I said earlier. Fanon has the ability to possess other people. with that mention any power it's victims have become it's own right? The dolls of Margatroid and the insects of Wriggle prove that....what if it took Marisa?)

...You'd be 50 shades of FUCKED! imagine that thing knowing how to do an Master Spark or overall have it's destructive capabilities boosted by the shitton stuff she can do. let's avoid that as much as possible!

(True, but anyhow how long has it been that way? Rumia was with Wriggle just a few minutes ago and the anon invasion starts today so it couldn't have gotten Margatroid for very long either. so it can't have mastered their abilities nor find a countermeasure to any weakness the both might have and or share).

Eh, that's a nice thought and all but it doesn't matter if you don't have it. what are both bugs and dolls weak against anyway? hell if I know, but I got this to say: If you can't shank a fuck from the outside then go inside them and shank their meek insides! that's one hell of a way to take care of something bigger than you no? and those eye holes are just begging for it...if one can get past all that ooze yeah

(Maybe the ooze is inflammable? it's dark texture and slimy nature reminds me of Gasoline)

That's what I'm fueled by actually! I got enough in me to like last a dozen hours. it's the REAL manly noise ain't it?
Had to be procured by the liquids of dead dinos, aaaah if only I got to butcher one! that'd be the dream~


(You really like violence huh....)

I'm a chainsaw miss, knives live to be stabbed with. chairs live to be sat on and I live to SAW things down.
It's nothing but natural for me to desire that and I won't be shamed by it for you!


(Okay, Okay. Jeez I didn't know it was a sensitive spot for you. but anyway what else is left?)

The dolls on the antlers? they look weird I guess? if life was easy I'd bet those are the dried husks of your pals and if you cut them off they'd be freed or something? hell it could even kill em or just be smchuck bait. life is a mass of uncertain crossroads like that

(Back to one last thing then: Running away is valid yeah, and taking Kirisame to Eientei sounds like a good idea. Sure she'll be pissed off once she's treated but I'm certain she'd help once she knows her neighbor was taken as well.)

That is if the thing doesn't just chase you or follow you the whole way. Hell it could go for other residents in the forests if not Gensokyo in the background while you have fun at the Rabbit Hospital

(On second thought I don't think we are being very helpful now are we?)

One lad pressed the Get A Clue! button and the votes are tied anyway. this much info is stuff they should know anyway with some observation no? unless Rumia failed to understand all that but that's not our problem

(Uhuh, but what of the potions then?)

How would I know? read their label to see what they do. I doubt the girl would just carry them around unless they're useful no? honestly I think she can take the F-whatever was the name fuck if she just used the GARR inside herself.

(But what IS the GARR anyway?)

Is your brain rotten? it's everything cool and manly. Be bold and GARR will favor you duh!

(Mm, I see....and I've run out of things to say)

Same here, is that the end then?

(Yeah, though I do have to say you're acting a lot calmer midway this conversation. why is that?)

It would hurt my throat if I shouted all the time

(But you don't have one)

Still don't want to hurt it

That was the Tie Breaker Dojo!

Someone please vote to end this dillema!
[x] Use items
-[x]Potions to the hand
-[x]MOEFIRMANATOR to the dolls
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A giant monster in front of you, willing yet unable to reach you due to size difference.

The house really is a temporary yet effective countermeasure against being crushed…probably due to the shitload of sharp objects there might be in here if it tried to just stomp on the house.

So you've got some time!

Except not because the murder dolls are still right behind you, the waves of bullets are still slowing them down but due to its simplicity is nothing more than a timer to them. One even returns fire to you,
another emboldened by this tries the same only to end up hit and dies.

You decide the dolls are the more immediate threats, and will CLAW!

You duck and feel a gust of wind come over your head once was, scythe like nails destroy some of the décor in the house and had you been any slower decapitated you as well. “mIsS” it growls annoyed.

Correction those aren’t nails; they are claws.

Not Alice lengthened her nails and turned them into actual scorpion claws somehow.

You decide it’s the bigger threat after all. You can’t lower your guard around either of em.

Hurriedly, you remove the hat from your dead weight and look at the first three things you can find in it: some red potion, a black pot and a cute ribbon.

Kind of garbage but it will do maybe?

“Take this!” you just throw the entire hat alongside those three at the hand in front of you!

The potion covers the hand in a liquid, but it doesn’t seem to harm it in anyway, the pot falls in front of it and only glows between black and white at an quicker pace as the second passes, and the rib- You remember something: the view of a mushroom cloud surrounded by fire and ashes…with the witch watching it all from above grinning in pride…oh no!

The pot is a bomb! THE POT IS A BOMB! It’s going to blow in a few seconds! You’re already rushing towards the entrance; the dolls are blocking passage. GET OUT OF THE WAY YO-

Master! USE me ALREADY! Say it’s slaughter time! Just say it! Okay fine!


“It is time!” you hold the Saw firmly with your right hand, again holding it feels just right “SLAUGHTER TIME!” you both declare in unison and it glows a red light aNd yOu-… あなたは素敵で魅力的ですが、あなたは男らしいアノンの力を召喚します! ガーパワー!ー!

An intense pain rings through your arm as your heart starts beating faster than it ever has, almost like it's about to rip out of your chest or die from exhaustion afterwards. Your vision becomes shaded with vermillion, your shoulder feels like it’s being pulled apart, you can hear a sharp ring in your ears. It hurts! Hurts! Hurts! Something is moving inside of you!

You try to remove it with tears in your eyes, but you can’t move, no one can move! your legs give up and you start to cry as the strange object rips apart flesh, breaks bones and bleeds you dr-it stopped.
It felt like an eternity but the intense pain stopped and you feel warm, your arm feels like it just had an hot shower. it feels as good new…and it is. Muscles that would fit on a bear, a weight that unbalances you and a length with which it can actually touch the floor and the hand part replaced with the end of an saw instead of fingers Our arm became that of an MAN!

(…I warned you Rumia, using an anon object is the same as letting it corrupt you. I hope you can turn back before it’s too late. But for now, try not to die and see the consequences of your foolishness)

We hunger for violence. EXTREME VIOLENCE even…and we know our target.

The dolls notice our change in demeanour and change their stratagem as well.
Instead of red lasers they shoot out a barrage of bullets, regardless due our speed and closing presence we can’t dodge em!

But we don’t need to!

We slump the witch of our shoulder and use her as a danmaku meat shield!

Even the useless can be useful in times like these, your imagination is the only limit on what one cannot do with an unconscious body!

Make a Marisa boat if you want to! A Marisa chair! or even a Marisa Cudgel!

Nothing can stop us now!

The bullets barrage her body and a few even graze us but we do not slow down one bit. “USELUSS!” and we’re at melee range. Time for the real fun.

“Catch!” We throw the witch at the first one and watch as it gets dragged outside by the force!
Then we dodge another shot from the second one and swing at it!

It dodges, but we continue undiscouraged! Some tables are smashed! And many more of the surroundings suffer our wrath. Nothing will stand in our way.

And it dodges again but again we swing! Swing! Swing! and spinning! We hit everything but the doll, yet your movements become faster and more precise the more your blood boils!

Swing and spin spin spin! We are a tornado of death! Nothing can stop us!

The doll’s body flies apart in three directions, black blood flying everywhere! and then another one follows when you pin it against the wall and slam your thing deep inside its guts, activate it and watch the blades RIP it apart from the inside out. THE GEARS ARE ON BABY!

YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS. This is what we live for! The heat of battle! We walk out of the house, a large BOOM and a sudden wave of heat hits our back but cool men do not look at explosion-and another BOOM comes and then another BOOM....and this time it burns our back so we immediately run away for our lives.

No point in being cool if an explosion fucking kills you, why is it happening anyway?

What was once a quant house is now the host of several explosions at once, flames cover the entire area as blue lasers shoot randomly and mushrooms clouds spawn one after another. There really isn’t a word for a gathering of explosions in one place sadly. Omniplosion!? Ultraboom?

How in the nine hells did she fit so much destruction in one hat anyway? Does she just carry those around like it’s no big deal? What if she ever dropped one by accident? That girl is a menace.

Anyhow we enjoy the cries of pain that come out of the monster’s mouth. That metallic and repugnant smell indicate it’s turning into a most fine barbecue. DI MOLTO!

What happened to the crazy bitch anyway? Oh, she’s right next to that tree a few feet away. Nothing but a few splotches of black blood on her too. guess the doll took most of the blow, a wonder she didn’t break her neck from us misjudging the strength of our new arm. Fhew!

We get closer to her and caress her cheek with our small left arm. Yup she’s still out of it…. hmm.
On closer inspection she’s quite a pretty one, isn’t she? That skin so soft and warm to the touch, that radiant blonde hair that smells like the forest, those healthy guts just waiting to be ripped out, those legs just asking to be cut into pieces….

We deserve a reward, don’t we? We’re saving her life so it’s not like she’ll miss an arm or a leg, right?

Yeah, that’s ok, we’ll just cut of one arm for the fu-

“AaGhAGHAhGHhAhJgHaAhGaAa” Ah fuck, there comes the cockblock.

We turn around, ready to slaughter whatever remains of that ugly mug…
A figure crawls from behind the wreckage that was the witch house, the mushroom cloud slowly evaporates as it slowly and we mean very slowly crawls towards us. We are quite some distance, so we whistle in mockery and tap our feet while we wait.

Fanon is still alive. Who would have guessed?

Though oh so scary Fanon looks heavily wounded, half of it’s face is gone and most of it’s body is has burn wounds or is currently burning to death. It’s eyes, hands. Literally everything is burning due to the ooze inside of its body. What kind of moron makes their own blood inflammable anyway?

But it refuses to just collapse and die, instead it decapitates itself for some reason and throws the head forward before the rest of it collapses and becomes fire fuel. Persistent bastard.

Oh well, we should be patient. We got a new body by fooling some dumb youkai after all. Can’t believe that moron actually believed the story of Garr and Moe! It was made up on the spot. Though the real joy is the fact the witch was a real blabber mouth. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t have known her name.

Either way with this new body our killings can start ane-the head is giving birth.

The upper part of the head is cracking like an egg about to burst, like a miracle of life.

Actually no, more like something is burrowing out of it…oh oooh! We see now. It’s saving itself from the flames by cutting the only essential body parts it needs. Like how lizards can lose their tails this thing only needs one thing intact to survive! Fucking ty-
? Drrrrr! Drrrrr!”? what’s that noise?

A young girl’s voice speaks? ?Sorry for the wait! Our contacts are open once more, the boss will be calling you now? What are you tal-

?Hello? this is Rumia right? You genuflected a while ago, so I hope whatever trouble you have is now gone. If not, then I’m available to hear it now? A gentler and older voice can be heard now.
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?


?Excuse me? “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”? Is that any way to speak to a god?”

Don’t care hag, we’re in the middle of something so fuck off and go bother someone else!

The boss is going to go unleash it's final form and we are going to FUCK IT UP!


?...Oh you want to play that way huh? Fine I’ll speak your language? Suddenly the voice becomes tough and energetic like a yakuza “Where is Rumia suckah!? Her signal is definitely her yet some chump that think they’re tough shit lies in front of me! Why is that huh you sunavobitch!? Did you do something to her you brain dead muscle mucker??

Heh, the dumb bitch fell for the oldest trick in the book. Her body is ours now.

?Tsk, so she did? A shame? She doesn’t sound upset ?And what do you intend to do now?

Hmmm...Beat up the motherfucker in front of me! cut apart the witch! and beat the shit out of everyone else too! probably go underground too since that's where the real MEN reside!

?Except not?

What do you mean by that? You coming to fight me hoe?

?As if, I don’t even need to bother moving from my seat. Before I’ve counted to 5, you’ll be already dead?

As if tha
….
…………………

You feel like you had a nightmare, one in which a friend of yours turned out not to be a friend at all. They’d go and make you do bad things, terrible things and by the end you’d die with everyone hating you for it despite being a victim as well.

?Wake up Rumia, you’re free again.

I don’t know how or why you got something that dangerous, but I have to warn you not to do that again. Those kinds of things would lead to bad ends for outsiders yknow? be glad you're not one.

Anyway I do apologize for not making it sooner, if I had then perhaps this wouldn’t have happened.

And yes I’m afraid I cannot fix your arm, but hey it’s a chainsaw arm! That’s pretty cool right? I’m sure you’ll find some use for it or let someone else fix it.

I’d love to say more but your foe is about to show their next form, so I’ll make it quick.
No matter what happens you mustn’t give up! Sure, you’re not a hero or even a noteworthy villain but even the smallest of actions can make a difference today!

Your foe is at its weakest right now while you barely have a scratch on you. This is the prime opportunity to run away or fight. I won’t judge you for it, but you must wake up first.

I’ll be honest and say I’m rooting a bit for you, having a adventure in which you assemble your friends against an greater evil is the dream of any young girl realliy. It gives off massive rpg vibes~

But that won’t happen if you lose here, so tell me can you do it Rumia?

Can you defeat Anon?

Only you can answer that! So WAKE UP! ?

You try to wake up. The odor of fire and chemicals burns your nostrils, the air feels hot and dry and when you open your eyes, they are assaulted by an unpleasant light coming from the flames absorbing the house and trees nearby.

Sleeping during a forest fire ain’t no good.

You get up and almost lose your balance due to an unusual weight, your right arm looks entirely different now and you’re not sure what to make off it.

The witch is lying nearby you, propped against a tree. There's some black blood on her for some reason. but why the hell hasn't she woken up yet!? seriously you'll beat up whoever is responsible for tha-"Hnggg, who burned and died ze?" wait she's stirring! maybe she'll wake up!

“So, you finally woke up” a voice very familiar to you says. “Aren’t you a tough bitch?” Wriggl-no…what looks like Wriggle is sitting right on top of Not Alice’s head like it’s a throne.

“….” You’re not sure what you’re feeling right now. But it’s not hunger.

“Mm~ that’s a nice look you’re giving me, makes me think it was worth it to wait for one of you to wake up. No meal is fun without a struggle after all. Don’t you agree to that?” it hums in joy.

“….” Some part of you wants to believe it’s your friend up there, that it’s all just a joke but Wriggle doesn’t have blue eyes, nor does she wear red ribbons on her head. It looks like a Wriggle cosplaying as Alice and you know she’d never change her style for any reason…Those stumps with the mini dolls are still on its head too, boldly announcing its kill count.

The surroundings couldn't be any worse if they wanted to be, smoke is making the sky seem black. Fires are propagating and making the air stench, it looks like a scene straight of hell.

You're certain there's no way people won't notice this. You're not sure if that's good or bad.

It continues speaking “I’m sure you agree, after all both you and I are hunters. We stalk our prey, partake in an exciting struggle and in the climax of the moment take their lives…well you EAT them while I ABSORB them but in the end that’s kind of the same, isn’t it?”

“……” The truth is Wriggle is gone, just like that out of nowhere. Didn’t even get to say goodbye or anything. You won’t get to see her performances again; you’ll never hear her be annoyed at your puns either. You'll never get to complain about how disgusting she eats, you'll never get to do anything at all with her anymore! And how will the others feel once you tell them? You don’t know. Your eyes hurt a lot.

“Say something already” The faker says with a bored tone. “Don’t make this a bore~”

If only you knew this would happen, you wouldn't have raced her at all. you'd have walked calmly the whole way with her sharing dumb jokes the whole time. we'd have beaten this fucker and boast to Mystia about it before gettting free lampreys. You want that to have happened instead!

You don't want to lose Wriggle!


[ ] Say something (write in)
-[]“WHY are you doing this?”
-[] “You’re a sicko”
-[] “Something”
-[] Say nothing.

==============

[ ] Use your own power!
-[] Create a darkness! (Range: Self, Specify. The whole area)
-[] Shoot a laser/Shot. (on who?)
-[] Use a Spell card! (on who?)
-[] Use your overly muscular Saw Hand! (on who?)


=============

[ ] Go to!
-[] Towards the Faker!
-[] The air! Between the trees! (Some other manoeuvre)
-[] Away! Run away!
=============

[ ] Use an item!
-[] The MOEFIRMANATOR! (on who?) That’s your arm now.
-[] The potions! (on who?) You threw all of them.
-[] The Witch! (KO?)


Are you lads speedrunning? cause you skipped the whole first phase there. Nicely done
-[x] Say nothing. Hunters do not speak to prey.

-[x] Use your power on the area! Jump toward and above the thing to avoid return fire.

-[x] Turn off power to fly directly at it with your awesome chainsaw arm!

This blitzkrieg serves two purposes. One is to use the element of surprise to skip approaching through danmaku (which it has access to). Two, and this is important, we need to stay on it to keep it away from Marisa, who hopefully will not be a dumbass and act like part of the scenery. It absorbing Marisa is its win condition, but it is currently cocky and thinking that it can take anything we throw at it. If we can sever the antler dolls in this rush, all the better.
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…But this is reality, she won’t come back no matter how much you want it.

That thing took her, no even worse that thing is defiling her memory.

By using that form and those powers it is spitting on the bond the two of you had.

The history and image of Wriggle Nightbug is being shat on as long as it lives.

She won’t be at peace that way and neither will you.

So the least you can do is kill them...you have to do it!


You are not scared! you are not sad! you are as cool as ice, as stoic as a rock! ready to kick ass and chew gum and you want to lay down and die! NOT!

(Rumia cal-) Oh but you are calm! it’s like someone poured ice all over your head! You’ve never felt this focused! this dedicated on accomplishing something! It’s like the world lost its colours…

“Hey~ Hey~ stay on earth~” the faker waves at you impatiently while laying down on their side “Yaawwn…Are you going to do something or what? Those tears are lovely on your face but emote a bit more will ya? Give me RAGE~ Give me ANGER~ Curse my name and fight or run with everything you got before I beat you down and take everything from you anyway~” it does not see you as a threat.

You’ll make it regret that mistake. No words are to be wasted on prey.

Let Darkness rule! All light leaves the area

“Finally, you fucking fight!” you ignore the words and immediately rise upward to avoid the hail storm of bullets and lasers it shoots towards you, however your leg gets hit as you wanted to make sure that he won’t see you move beforehand.

It’s the price to pay for a surprise.

This darkness is absolute. No flicker of a flame and no shine of a bullet can shine within it

You soar swiftly and silently towards where you remember him being and charge at him from above!

Except not, you pause…you have to make sure their guard is off.

You have only one chance, only one opportunity to give in a fatal blow before it gets serious and obliterates you. It survived those explosions and you definitely do not have that kind of firepower.

No you need a plan B, and a plan C and a plan D and uh screw that!

No heat can be born in it, and not even those with dark vision can see through it

You gather your power in one hand and try not to exhale, some of the darkness becomes concentrated, bulkier and takes on the shape your will demands it to: A spell card.
And you throw it within the darkness, not activating it just yet but that’s plan B.

To exert such power on a large area…one so bright demands a lot of energy

But you won’t let get fatigue in the way! You prepare your arm, steady yourself…

And the rule of darkness ends!

You look at the insect, making sure there’s no counter waiting for you.

There is none.
Your prey looks excited, shooting everywhere but up as it looks for your position like one plays hide and seek. Threads and bugs surround it to protect it from a surprise attack.

Sadly that won’t protect it.

So you dive! Like death from above that fool won’t know what hit it until it is already dead.

Their head, their neck, their torso and feet. You rapidly approach it

You’ll be taking it all. You arm aimed straight at it’s neck, aiming for decapitation

in one smooth swing It’s now or never!

You’ll end it all! It glances up at the last second

“No you don’t!” shit, it noticed. and claws shoot out from it’s back straight for you

Your saw locks blades with it’s claws, a few inches away from it’s head. “Nice trick bu-!”

It doesn’t get to boast as your arm continues descending towards it, your momentum and strength too much to simply parry away as the claws shatter. IT’S RIP AND TEAR TIME!

You jam it in and penetrate as deep as possible!
You explore every corner vigorously and turn on the engine!
With a fanfare black blood bursts out of it's body and voila! everyone is satisfied!

The falling droplets fuel the flames nearby, and the fires are still spreading.
The trees are starting to fall down and you’re both now surrounded by fire.

This thing can’t escape now! it's you and it in a dance among flames! only one will live!

“….Pfeh” it chuckles for some reason, despite the fact that having a girl stabbing your back not really being the pinnacle of comedy “Didn’t even have to approach you myself pfahahaha” it laughs as if it saw the funniest thing alive. “You’re an idiot~”

“What?” you destroyed it’s heart, lungs and other organs. It should drop dead!

“You’re an idiot!” The faker’s head turns towards you with no effort….oh ooze “Thanks for the meal~” it becomes longer like a snake, slithers towards you and aims for your neck!

You try to stop it but you act little too late as it brushes your small arm aside, their teeth grasp your throat and clench your windpipe. Your chainsaw arm is stuck inside it’s body and black blood tightens around it to make you unable to pull out. “Mhkahkhhhj” it mumbles with a full mouth but you’re certain it’s trying to mock you or boast about its superiority.

You are so close to it you could literally head pat it but now isn't the time for that.

The feeling is disgusting, your hand feels like it’s being covered in cold mud, then your skin starts to hurt as if your entire arm was on fire. If not melting into acid. Organs can’t do that. “mkahkjahs”

It’s then that it finally hits you, the ooze is not blood or even part of it’s body. It IS the ooze. It’s entire body is the black ooze, all those appearances were nothing but hot air! “msakjkd”

Realized it a little too late to be honest, you’re being choked to death right now. For some reason it doesn’t hu-Oh wait no it’s not choking you. The head is pulling you closer to it’s body….OH SHIT.

It is going to absorb you! Your body is slowly but certainly being pulled into it. It is going to cover you in ooze and probably digest you from the inside or however those things do it! “mhkmgkm?”
You do your best to pull away but you feel that it’s stronger than you, if your right arm wasn’t so large and thick it would have taken the rest of you already. There’s little time to be wasted!

Suddenly it lets go of your throat “You’re not hearing what I say do you? Sorry my bad~” Wriggle’s face is staring right into yours as the rest of it’s body turns into a black blob. “I was being all dramatic but it’s no fun if you can’t hear it right? Speaking of which I want you know something before you die”
It doesn’t even bother being creative anymore, that face is entirely Wriggle with stumps on it.

…Wait why are those still on it? The whole time it has showed them in display as a bold sign of who it has taken and not once did you see it change. At every form their size was consistent. Is it unable to change them or is it an actual weakness? “I love you Rumia~”

...no, just NO! HELL NO!

“Naaah, not in that way silly. No need to glare! I meant more like I really owe you a lot. I want you to realize that I couldn’t have done any of this without you. So what’s your wish?”

“What are you talking about?” it stopped trying to absorb you, clearly absorbed by it’s sense for the dramatics as it’s about to do some grand monoblob. Now is the time to look for a way out! The spell card is just lying on the ground ready to be used. Your saw is deep inside of it and Marisa is gone.

Wait where did she go!? why is she still gone! did she wake up and abandon you?! THAT BIT- “LOOK at me when I talk to you!” your face is jerked towards it. “AS I said, If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have been able to grow this strong” it looks genuinely grateful.

It’s revolting to look at “….I don’t remember helping you” you amuse it to stall for time.

“Oooh, but you did! See I was following the both of you and planned to take you down first since you seemed the weakest! yknow end the whole adventure before it can even start type of thing~ But a better offer came! remember that little race you did with your pal? How your knocked her out and just flew off to crash somewhere? That was like a free meal to me”

“….So what?” you try to play indifferent. You won’t let it see how it affects you.

“Well, I figured that since you did a freebie to me. I should do one for you too~ Oh but I won’t let you go! Don’t even ask for that. But is there anything you’d like to know? Any way you’d like to die other than being melted alive? I assure you the latter is quite painful, it’s like burning and drowning at the same time if I had to describe it. It’s how I learned your name too!”

“That doesn’t mak-“

“She screamed your name the whole time, it was music to my ears”

No…it’s lying! “….Take that back”

“Take what back? The fact your friend died in intense pain because of you? The way she tried to be brave until the end but cried her heart out only after a few seconds? Or perhaps the fact this is all your fault? YOU did this Rumia! And you’re going to die with that regret in your heart!”

Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
You want it to SHUT UP!
Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
Alien feelings are OVERFLOWING within you!
Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
You want it to DISSAPEAR!
Liar! Liar! Liar!....Liar!... Liar!....liar!

Li-Your chest feels so tight, it's like your heart refuses to work.

It hurts so much, thinking becomes so hard...

Wriggle, you’re going to avenge her. You don’t care how or if you’ll live afterwards.

You put your hands on the Wriggle and Alice Doll before your final struggle.

They're the only things left of them

It does not deserve to have those.

Scratch that...

It does not deserve to live!

[ ] Push it into the flames with your last remaining strength. LET IT BURN!
[ ] All of your spellcards. Right now. Danmaku plosion from the inside. EAT THIS!
[ ] WHERE THE FUCK IS MARISA!? Oh that’s a big be- OH NOOO!
[ ] Write in (What's your big finisher/totally not a suicide attack?)

Author Note: Phoowie, that's an combat encounter almost done.
Still a rookie with those but I hope you're enjoying yourself.
If any of you got tips for those or criticism I'm all ears.

But for now enjoy your weekend and I will see you tommorow!

[x] We're settling for only one option? As if!

I like combat updates.This is a good scenario.
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You’re going to do it.
No metaphor or descriptions of your surroundings.
No introspective bullshit.
That thing dies today.

You inhale deeply and get deeper into the monster, before it can respond your left arm grips the monster’s stumps (and dolls) firmly and you start pulling him towards you even more.

“What are you doing?” it doesn’t resist, confused by what it perceives to be self-harm “Don’t tell me you want to die already? Has your spirit broken? How bo-!” You open your mouth and bite!

You bite it’s face, rip off the dolls and throw them away from the area!

Biles of black blood enter your throat, the ooze burns your tongue, cheeks and even your teeth as it stays there not swallowed. The sensation makes you want to throw up but your fangs manage to actually dig into something solid. The same wood as the stumps! You bite harder!
The monster immediately returns fire by punching your stomach with its fist “LET GO!”, have bugs attack your eyes and trying to push you off “You pathetic bitch, let go of me!” but you won’t let go! YOU”LL NEVER LET GO! Its body becomes smaller once more as it concentrates energy.

Scorpion Sign: Bug Phalanx: drops of ooze float into the air and slowly transform into the insect dolls you’ve seen before. Except this time they’re all black, a dozen and smaller too boot. They all gain dark spears and immediately attempt to stab you repeatedly from every side You don’t move to stop it and gain shallow cuts and various light wounds as a response. After a few painful seconds, they all back off and strike simultaneously! and this is where you Death bomb!

Darkness Sign: Demarcation! : Waves of blue, red and green danmaku immediately emanate from your body as they hit the monster and dolls head on, killing the latter immediately but they do little but slow him down. YET afterwards a large blue bullet appears behind it and shoots a rafale of homing clusters straight at it’s back, forcing it to lose it’s balance and fall on you! The monster is now on top of you, crushing your stomach and ribs with it’s weight as it’s whatever no longer touches the ground, your energy leaks out of your body like water out of a broken cup BUT…BUT!

NOT YET! You won’t fall just yet! You activate the other spell card! Moon Sign: Moonlight Ray!: the two lasers converge into one and head straight towards the two of you! the knockback of it…

Throwing both of you into the flames! Your positions have been reversed. You are now on top and refuse to let it get up, the monster cries out in rage and responds with the rage of an dying animal as it tears off your skin by sheer contact, and tries to smash apart the little girl holding it onto the ground, desperate to escape the hot touch of the fires among you. No words can describe the pain you’re going through right now, but you’re not stopping. It’s too late to stop.
It’s time to end this! With your last remaining strength, you activate one last spell card. The last thing that will make sure that it will be unable to escape before the fires consume the both of you.

Darkness Sign: Dark Side Of The Moon: a circle of small red bullets and large yellow ones spread around the area, hitting the trees nearby and making them fall on the both of you. Their weight and sudden impact makes your back give a *Crack* sound, you’re leaking blood as well but cannot help the smile on your face. The fire has spread to the point that there is no escape…this is it

Both you and it are going to die, knowing that relieves you somehow.

Don’t misunderstand, you still want to live. After all you got friends who will miss you and have only one life to give…but this thing has to be stopped. You’d sooner die with it than live in a world where it can harm more of your friends!

You hope both Alice and Wriggle can be restored via the dolls or whatever, maybe by killing the impostor all those affected by it will be freed? Unless that’s only for werewolf’s and vampires.

Hell if you know, at least the witch made it. And you’re sure she’d pick up the two…no you’re not sure of that all. But one can’t help but hope in this kind of situation no?
Anyway isn’t this the kind of moment where your life flashes before your eyes? Cause you’re not seeing anything…hell you’re not feeling anything too! Did your pain sensors decide to go on strike on something? Lucky you~

But really, you guess it’s time for the last words. A shame no one but the bastard beside you will hear it…..wait it’s been speaking the whole time?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” you cannot tell what it is saying, but it is definitely shouting. The ooze monster has caught on fire and is slowly but certainly evaporating or whatever the term was, sue me you’re dying too.

“Is tha-“ You get picked up like a sack of potatoes, have your world turn upside down and eat dirt immediately afterwards.

The fuck? Did it manage to throw you off!? No it can’t be! If it survives now then you did all this for nothing! All of your efforts would have gone to waste! Please don’t get out! Don’t get out!
You try to get up but your body refuses to move, you can only see the dark sky up above as the urge to sleep becomes stronger as time passes on.

The ground shakes intensely for some reason, as if an earthquake just struck or some enormous power was released, your body instinctively shudders.

You failed didn't you?

Despite doing your best, it simply wasn't enough.

Cirno, Wriggle, Mystia, Daiyousei

I'm sorr-
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There is nothing but darkness once you wake up.

Every part of your body screams in pain immediately.

What a way to wake up, but at least you’re not dead?

Unless ghosts can feel pain? You’d think people would need special weapons for that but perhaps that’s not really the case…oh now that’s a book you’d read about.

Wait what was the situation again?

Ah yes, you’re dead.

Or not?

That’s a new mystery to solve!
Nevermind your eyes are closed, that’s just it.
You can’t see with your eyes closed, unless like your eye skin is transparent but that would mean you could never really close them and that’d be freaky.
You open them and close them immediately when light burns them.

You hate it when that happens, it’s why you always sleep under the shade or somewhere dark.

And this place isn’t dark at all! You immediately cover yourself in shadows and wait.
………………………
Okay you feel a bit less worse now.

Now it’s time to get up and get ready for adventure…

To be honest no, you’re done with that.

That was like the WORST adventure you’ve been in your whole life!

Screw hunting anons! From now on you’re going to enjoy your own peaceful life.

Like Wriggle would have wanted to! Let’s ha-
…...
Ah, you almost forgot.

ANYWAY she was looking for Cirno right?

Let’s find her then!

Gotta respect her will and all~

You are a good pal after all~

Just not good enough to-NOPE, no bad thoughts!

You deserve to relax now! So let’s do that!

Operation: Retire after finding a Cirno is a go! Go! Go!

But where are you anyway?

[ ] Welcome to the realm of TRASH!
[ ] The sunflowers know your sins.
[ ] A Bun bun is staring into your soul.
[x] Welcome to the realm of TRASH!
A visit with the TRASH(wo)MAN seems only appropriate.

Kind of surprised that this wasn't a bad end into a forced flee.
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You realize that just standing around won’t really do anything.

So you tap the ground with your foot, It gives a thuck like sound.
Clearly made of wood then, at least you’re inside.

The air feels a bit dusty? Actually you could just open your eyes and look around instead, that way you’d actually know where you are.

So you do and remove the darknes-
The light burns your eyes again.

You create a shadow again.

What a dilemma we live in, where did your shades go? This is exactly why you had them! But you can’t look around for them now lest your eyes get burned, but you need to see so you can see the glasses that let you see things without getting burned but you can’t because aaaaaaargh!

You realize the light comes from a window, and close the curtains on it. My bad.

Done, now where are those shades?
You see boxes, loads of junk everywhere, not garbage kind of junk but the kind that’s a bunch of items that no one really uses other than a certain person. There’s a small mattress where you lied.

But no shades anywhere, you’ve only got the clothes on your body right now. There a bunch of bandages around you too. they feel tight and scratchy and wait these clothes aren’t yours…

Your amazing combo of dark and red has been replaced by casual wear garbage! Blue pants like an average joe! A white shirt with black stripes like an Oreo! And a CASUAL JACKET?!

HERESY! WITCH CRAFT! IT DISGUSTS YOU IN EVERY LEVEL!!

Someone is going to need to answer stuff, but first let’s get out! You look around some more.

You think you’re in a closet/ item storage maybe? The room is quite small, like someone just propped the mat in here and stuffed your body inside like a sack of lumber.

This kind of place, that kind of attitude.

It can only be Trash Man! You’re in the Shop of Trash Man!

Okay his name isn’t Trash Man but it’s too long to actually remember nor do you care to.
Anyway you open the door…it is locked. Why would you lock the room in which a girl sleeps? Does he think you’re going to run off immediately or what? Even if that was the case no wall can stop you!
You take a few steps back, inhale deeply and CHAAAAAAARGE!

You slam your face against the wall and fall down. the only achievement being the loud BANG! the impact gave.

Okay the wall is stronger than you after all, but you’re tired and wounded so that’s not fair!

You lie on the ground a bit dazed and question your life choices.

But soon start to hear footsteps.

Someone is approaching the door! No it's not one but two people that are approaching!

Oh no, wait you meant oh yes! how dare they treat you this way! you'll show em who's boss!

Noone can lock up a youkai!

[ ] Prepare a surprise attack. He cannot stop the forced piggyback.
[ ] Give them the house wife greeting. Their regret will be delicious
[ ] Hide on the ceiling like a spider, and run the moment the door opens.
[ ] Another idea, you are a genius after all. You can achieve revenge.

[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Prepare a surprise attack. He cannot stop the forced piggyback.

Yes this is just cute. Of course I'll choose it.
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The voices are getting closer!

You take a step back and wait for the door to open

The moment that bastard reveals himself shall be the moment you strike!

Like the mighty Fūri you’ll jump on him and turn him into your steed.

Then and only then will dominance have been established, it is the law of the jungle.

Sure a little girl on top of your head might not seem so threatening

But they’ll think otherwise once she pulls on your hair and chokes you with her legs.

As the amazing Moeru Toukon aka the burning fighting spirit that sets aflame all the stars in the skies and the will of man's hearts once said: toast is about to be toasted.

The door slowly opens, and two figures reveal themselv-NOW IS THE TIME!

You immediately leap at the tallest one! Take this! Hook and shoot!

Fear the night! Fear the Rumia!

You hit the mark dead on! Grab onto their shoulders and climb your way up like an itsy bitsy spider crawling their way up a wall. In a Perfect and fluid motion.

Dominance Established

“ ...What are you doing?” the unfortunate foe says with resignation. Their voice calm like uh a cup of coffee? With his grey hairs, indifferent attitude, and overall vibes he feels like an old wise cat.

“Huh, looks like you’re popular Kourin” someone who’s not your steed says with amusement.

But they’re not important right now, you have a job to do
.
“Good morning, Trash~” speaking of his hair you ruffle it, it’s always so smooth and fun to play with.

He sighs but doesn’t try to push you off which is good, he’s learning. “As I have said before, one cannot purchase me as a steed, food or both regardless of how much you insist on it” then he moves on to an average question “So how are you feeling?” which is a great conversation starter.

“I feel like a Rumia~” and overall, like a fail-fairylicouis. “How do YOU feel?” you ask out of politeness.

Trashman rubs his chin in thought and seriously considers the question “I feel like a Rinnosuke” and copies your answer while acting like it was his thing all along. You swear he sounds smug.

“Well, you’re a horse now!” you kick your legs at his shoulders softly “So giddy up and feel like one!” your voice brims with authority fit for she who rules over the night.

“I don’t want to, nor am I capable of obeying those statements if I ever wanted to do so” but it has no effect on him for some reason, how dare he not believe your words? How dare he doubt?

His lack of faith, you find disturbing.

Let’s resolve that “Nah, I’m sure you can become a magnificent steed if you put your mind to it!” you tap his shoulders “These broad shoulders, those fit legs and that soft mane show your potential”

“It’s not a question of potential” he dares correct you “It’s a question of want”

“Then do you want to become my horse?” you ask with the sweetest tone you can give. The type that makes the heart of men and girls alike flutter in an oooh you’re so cute way.

“No” he answers instantly. Unflinching like a tower. Immune to your natural charisma. Unbending.


That only makes you want it more “Pleaase? What if I say pretty, please with a cherry on top covered in a banana sundae?” you flip your position so you can give him the puppy eyes too
.
“No” he replies instantly again. The man has a heart of steel. His only love being…nothing? you're not sure if he has ever smiled in his life.

Wait scratch that thought, you're certain he did once or twice maybe? a person never smiling is like a person never eating. night impossible! but anyway you won't lose.

You try harder this time and concentrate your inner cuteness in your eyes. “Pleeaase? What if I say pretty, please with a banana on top covered in a cherry sundae?” this time he cannot refuse.

“No” and before you can try even harder, he interrupts with another “No, I will never be a horse. I am physically and mentally unable to become one and even if there was a service that led people turn into horses, I would not be interested in said offer. Being humanoid is just fine to me”

Hmmm, fine you’ll compromise “A human horse is fine too!”

“That’s no- “you won’t let him say no this time.

“So, what made you lock me up in your closet anyway? Were you going to sell my organs?”

He stays silent, and his tired look turns into a half glare “The way you say that implies you think I meant you harm, I won’t stand for that. Did I not bandage your wounds and offer you rest?”

Ah, you overdid it. “Sorry, I was just joking” you answer honestly.

“It wasn’t funny to me” oh darn he’s offended. “To think you believe me to be capable of that, clearly you do not hold respect towards me and my establishment”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it that way. You’re nice and easy to tease but I do re-uh reS-I don’t look down on you! You’re a cool nerd bird! Like a bland bird that owns a shop but is unique in how not special they are. You’re an awesome horse too! don’t ever think otherwise!” you contest back.

“Hmph, that doesn’t sound like a compliment to me” now he’s being cheeky.

“You’re cool dude! Like a canary on top covered in a baneberry sundae!” you insist.

“Are you hungry or is that just me?” he seems to have calmed down. “Also, you can stop. I believe it”

“How did you know?” you haven’t said anything of the sort.

Can the lad read minds now? Freaky.

“You always are” and then he stops moving. “Get off and wait here, breakfast is almost done”

Uh-oh, you didn’t even realize you were being transported.
You are now in what seems to be a guest room adjacent to the shop’s entrance. There is a little more space here with some chairs in the middle circling a small table. The surroundings got a closet with some books and newspapers, some posters about brands you’ve never seen before and two more doors that lead outside and to a kitchen.

Wait that makes this his living room, curse the laws of architecture. “Rumia get off” he repeats.

“Sure” you do and float towards one of the chairs. Before sitting on it NOT!

First off you land on the ground, take few steps away from the chair, turn around and then backflip into position.

The youkai of Twilight does not sit like a simple human. The fact you can fly and so
ignore any failed attempt anyway does not change this fact


Rinnosuke doesn’t care about your sick moves and moves to the kitchen without a word.

Party pooper.

“Glad to see you’re doing fine ze” you jump up immediately and look at the person. “Oh? Is there something wrong? You’re acting like you saw a ghost” the witch is seated in a chair facing yours, sitting all relaxed like someone who saw something fun. she's got some bandages too and her hat is gone.

When did she get here? How long was she here? Did she see all that?

She answers immediately, as if reading your mind “Never got here, I was not there the whole time and now I did not think that whole thing was adorable~” she dares grin. “Your face is way more expressive than I remember by the way. No wonder you never show it”

Hmm, so she really didn’t see you. Good, if there were rumours that the man-eating youkai acted friendly to even half a human then your reputation would be ruined. It’d be total humiliation.

“Nah, got no reason to not not tell everyone about that. Unless…you plan to buy my silence ze?”

Wait so she DOES know about it? In that case you’d have to eliminate her. No one must know!

“Hey, relax~ you almost died so this isn’t the moment to fight yknow? Have some food and afterwards we can have the big talk” you’re starting to get annoyed “What you gonna do about it ze?”

You cover yourself in darkness once more, being read like a book is just disturbing.

“Party pooper” the witch shrugs and you think she’s drinking something. Tea? Coffee? Dunno.

Anyway, you got a moment of just nothing special to do, the kind that lasts 5 minutes but feels like hours depending on how bored you are. What should you do while waiting?

[ ] Talk to Marisa? (About what?)
[ ] Go harasshelp Rinnosuke?
[ ] Read today’s Bunbunmaru.
[ ] Loot Look at the Outsider wares.

[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Read today’s Bunbunmaru.
Have our escapades been recorded? Is the anon invasion taking dominance? Will we ever find Cirno? Aya tell us!
File 163240239257.png - (42.94KB, 185x529, THe most TRUE NEWS.png) [iqdb]
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You get up from your seat, pick up the newspaper, go back to sitting and read it.

Season 123, Shichi-Gatsu issue 1 (est. 07/7/2017)
Chainsaw Massacre in the Forest? Mechanical lifeforms roaming the Mountains?
Someone stole the hakurei maiden’s panties? This must be a Moriya Shrine Conspiracy!

People arriving while causing an incident is no strange ritual to our little land, whether it’s vampires trying to blot out the sun or the new goddess announcing herself last week something always happens.

But never have I your honest and humble reporter seen several happen at the same day around the same time and from which the culprits come from the same source: our new outsiders.

If you have read last week’s newspaper (1) then you should know the Moriya Shrine was gone for a few days only to return as if nothing happened.

The goddess of the Moriya Shrine Yasaka Kanako has made an alliance with the wise Tengu leaders to become the proper god of the mountain as she would enrichen the lives of the mountainfolk with her miracles and knowledge off outsider science only to suddenly go out on a vacation without telling anyone! This honest reporter theorizes that the trio went to the outside world to relax. How irresponsible.

To elaborate on how bad this is: they stood up Lord Tenma! That’s an insult to all Tengu!

Nevertheless, stuff happened afterwards:
There have been hearsay and sightings of strange creatures roaming around the land recently, machine like beast’s superior to kappa technology fighting each other, humans with silly costumes shooting out fireballs and jumping on people to crush them, even the average normal outsider has begun to act radically different compared to their predecessors. What were once valuable additions to the human village have now become a horde of man children that the village guardian (2) must oversee. But the outsiders aren’t only humans! varouis other creatures have seemed to be sighted, like a pile of sentient hamsters. some half girl half horse people, and actual doppellgangers. The outsiders are many!

Frankly a lot of things are happening, and they are happening fast. The outsiders are coming in fast but have yet to envelop anything more than the mountain and the village…though by the end of today there may be as many of them as there are fairies. Whether that’s good or bad is to see.

And all of this has happened within less than a day once the shrine returned. Coincidence? I think not! Clearly whatever measure they used to exit Gensokyo and come back must have attracted these people or perhaps this is a new plan the goddess has in store for us? Regardless the Moriya shrine is clearly responsible for this incident! (3) More info to come on that next issue!

Now out of subject but still related to it: the Forest of Magic almost burned down! Intense explosions and roaring flames were sighted alongside rumours of a chainsaw wielding maniac (4). After the fires, resident puppeteer Alice Margatroid alongside some other minor youkais were nowhere to be seen, the only evidence left behind being some black blood in both magician’s domains and the hearsay of some fairy witnesses.

Speaking off witness, XXXX(5) one of the few who got an actual look has this to say: “I saw it all! Some scary youkai was holding the dead body of Marisa while swinging their sharp machine at Alice’s dolls! But Alice was big and scary too but then the youkai set her on fire and laughed the whole time, so I got scared and ran away! I only saw her back and the fact she wore a ribbon”

There you have it folks, if you ever see someone who has a chainsaw and a red ribbon then she might be out to cut you into pieces! I advise all to avoid the forest while the resolvers investigate.

Now let’s end this with some good news: the Bunbunmaru has got themselves a sponsor! The Scarlet Mistress Remilia scarlet would like to inform all outsiders that she’s willing to hire all those whose fate she deems interesting, I’m not sure what that means but employment is sought at the Scarlet Devil Mansion! so if you want to work for a cute bloodsucking little girl then go for it!

(1): One can purchase the previous edition at following locations: base of Youkai Mountain, the Hakurei Shrine, Kourindou and the Myouren Temple. If you wish to pay for a subscription do note it to a fellow tengu and you shall the special edition for an low monthly fee.

(2): That would be Keine Kamishawara the sad girl isn’t even paid for taking care of outsiders.

(3): It must be either one of them or one of the many other gods or the gap of boundaries herself. So far, the former is the most suspicious. They haven’t made an official statement on this either.

(4): A chainsaw is a portable gasoline-, electric-, or battery-powered saw that cuts with a set of teeth attached to a rotating chain driven along a guide bar. It is used in media for the express purpose to slaughter and maim those the user dislikes. It is a legendary tool of murder that is to be feared.

(5): The witness’s name and appearance have been censored for their own safety.

Editor: Aya Shameimaru

Writer: Aya Shameimaru

Investigator: Aya Shameimaru

It's all Aya quality!

About the Bunbunmaru: Since 2007 the Bunbunmaru has been the trusted brand to give the people of our country the energy to explore, discuss, think and life live to the fullest. From sunrise to sunset, city to surf, next door to the great outdoors, heavens to the underground…
what you can experience by reading this paper is only limited by your imagination. Rip open a bun and keep the truthful times coming, morning, noon and night. #Alwaystrue


“Are you actually reading that third tier rag?” Marisa questions the obvious “That’s just a bunch of half-truths, theories and rumours the crow wants to spread. Take it with a grain of salt”

“Uhuh” you give her a noncommittal answer, she’s still food despite all this so you don’t care much.

“Don’tcha uhuh me, I saved your life yknow?” she takes another sip and continues “So shouldn’t you be thanking me? Actually that means I means I own you now! Since you owe me your life ze~”

You’re not sure how she goes from sounding sad to sounding happy so quickly. Mood swing much?

Rinnosuke seems to be taking some time now, but you can smell the allure of meat being cooked so this breakfast is about to be delicious! Hmmm what is he making you wonder.

Anyway you still have some time left, so now what?

[ ] Talk to Marisa? (About what?)
[ ] Is Rinnosuke done?
[ ] Read today’s Bunbunmaru. Done diddly done.
[ ] Loot Look at the Outsider wares.

[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Talk to Marisa about what happened.

Plot button. Wonder where the other readers went. This is pretty gud.
[x] Loot look at the outsider wares
Dew it before Marisa "borrow"all those stuff
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A few more minutes pass in silence as you read the newspaper, the news doesn’t really worry you since you’ve decided to no longer concern yourself with all that anon nonsense, the news of there being some maniac in the forest does makes you mentally note to be careful if you go there. you’d hate to end up mistaken for them just after all.

You didn’t murder Marisa after all and she's not dead either so the truth is obvious.

To think you'd have a copycat so soon...shameful!

Anyway, right now, the vibes are good. The vibes are chill. This is nice~

To be honest, just doing nothing and reading a newspaper has a weird feeling to it, as in it’s such a not youkai thing to do. Why read something and drink coffee like you’re the man of the house (Which is you of course since you’re the BOSS duh) when you can instead scare some humans with your friends? That’s not to say you dislike reading something while Housewife-man cooks.

Still fun times are fun: like that one time where a human jumped off a cliff to avoid you or the other time where Mysti’s singing made a whole group of hunters fight each other to the death! Or like the time when Wri-…. Wriggle.

Not feeling like sitting any longer, you move out of the living room and into the shop part of well the shop. Memories of before reminding you of the stuff you lost.

You lost a good friend; someone you knew for a long time alongside your own fricking arm being so heavy and unwieldy now. Like whom can live with a limb like that? Oh, Alice is gone too you guess

The good vibes are gone now, darn it this really isn’t going to leave your mind anytime soon huh?

“Hey, what’s wro- “Needing a new distraction, you get up and move out of the room.

You’re a big girl and don’t have time for being sad. Only little girls are sad and you’re a youkai! Now let’s go see what kind of toys Trash man has that you can pla-INVESTIGATE!

The shop area looks a bit meh, there is a counter. Some tables with odd wares and ends and overall, the place is cluttered with stuff you don’t know.

You think there is some outside too so yo-THE LIGHT!

You put a shadow around yourself again and sit on one knee, this time you made the grand mistake of going outside shadowless and behold the sun struck! The absolute sucker got you right in the eyes and now you can’t see anything!

CURSE YOU SUN! I"LL EAT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!

“Oof, should have worn sunscreen my dude” you hear Marisa say with some pity behind that insufferable cheeriness. And soon after you feel a hand on your shoulder. “You REALLY are in bad shape after all~” then she dares take look down on you, a youkai being mocked and pitied by a human….” take better care of yourself will ya. No one will be happy if you force you- “and that’s when your patience snaps.


You push away her arm and put as much distance as you can from her.

What is wrong with you? ” you say with the most venomous tone you can muster at her “Your house burned down! Your friend is dead! And here you are acting so happy like it’s but an afterthought! Do you expect me to just move on like nothing happened? Are you sympathizing with me? Well guess what!? I DON’T NEED YOUR PITY!!” the way she acted so casual was unnerving to you, does she not care at all or what?

“….” She doesn’t give back an immediate response, but her footsteps are getting closer. “Tha- “

“You don’t even look remotely sad! Do you not care at all? Are humans dead inside now!?” you continue the accusations, the insults and curses just pouring out as you declare the witch your scapegoat. It feels so refreshing to be honest, to be able to put all the blame on just one person.

Yeah, it's her fault for having a house at the exact spot you crashed! it's her fault for not waking up when you wanted her to! and it's her fault for holding devices off mass destruction on her person! it is all her fault!!

That feeling is swiftly replaced with pain coming from your cheek followed by another to your stomach as the witch grabs you by the hem of your shirt. “ Shut up ” her voice becomes stone cold, no cheer, no jest only anger behind it “I-I OF COURSE I care about what happened! How dare you say otherwise you dramatic bitch!” she slaps you again wounded by the words, anger emanating from her.

If only you could see actually see her face, you’d be certain both of you were glaring at each other.

She doesn’t stop there and continues speaking “How about we imagine my point of view: I was having a great time studying some objects I managed to borrow from some outsiders only to out of nowhere get my stuffing knocked out by some little girl (which I suspect to be YOU). And then when I wake up not only is my house freaking gone…but there you are fire hugging the hell out of some freak! Naturally I did the best of what I could, threw you off it as I sparked the ugly thing into atoms. Carried your ass back to Kourindou. Made sure you’d get the proper treatments just so you won’t drop dead. And what do I get as my reward? The news that a friend of mine is somehow dead, the fact all my research is gone and now you’re blaming ME for all this?! That better be jest ze” killing intent is outright dripping behind those words.

You look down, the intensity behind her glare is unbearable and the fact everything she says makes sense only lowers any chance of rebuttal you had in you. “I-I’m sorry!” sadness overcomes you. "I'm never going to see Wriggle again! and I hate it! I hate it so much! I want everything to be fun and simple again..." and out the eye canal it goes.

“H-hey don’t cry! Cause if you do that now then even I…dammit!” she drops you and starts shouting to pump herself up “No! just no ze! I REJECT THE DRAMA ZE! I’m not letting this get in my-COLD!”

What does she- “COLD!” You get splashed by cold water out of nowhere.

You remove the shadow to see the source: It’s Rinnosuke holding a strange device.

“No staining the floor with salt” he says with annoyance as shoots his device at us again. “Make up or go cry elsewhere” The man really does not give a carp, he’s colder than the water!
“But she started it!” both of us say only to get splashed again. “FREEZING!”

I don’t care who started, now each of you apologize” he says with some odd authority.

As if you’d He points the device at you “Okay I’m sorry! Accusing you was mean and ungrateful! Thank you for saving me witch!” you say as quickly as possible.

Marisa replies just as fast “Yeah! Sorry for uh…I did nothing wro- Rinnosuke aims sorry for uh teasing you at a bad time?” she looks at our tyrant and continues “Let’s work together to like get our pals back ze!” she tends out a hand for shaking.

You are forced to by Rinnosuke to shake it. “Wriggle! Dollfreak! we're coming for you!” Not thinking of her as food is going to be hard though...

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, Marisa is now using following you!

That wasn't sarcasm, you're totally doing this willingly. totally

“It’s like I’m tending to children” Coldman sighs and pauses as if jolted “Sniff. Is that smoke?” then realization kicks in and he hurries back to the kitchen. “Be right back, no more nonsense or else you’ll be eating burned food”.

“…. He’s really acting like a housewife huh” you mumble as you get up.

“Kourin’s always been that way, if only he was born a girl, then he’d be married and have 3 or 5 kids by now bet…” Marisa agrees solemnly and looks at the ceiling wistfully

“Darn, I want to live in that kind of world. Rin-chan wearing an apron and all…” you do the same.

Rin-chan would be the ultimate housewife, not only does she know what each item can do she’d uuh you’re not a writer or anything so Rin-chan will only exist inside both of your hearts sadly.

“Pff, Rin-chan~ what would he call the babies?” doesn’t stop Marisa from talking about it.

“Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner” you eagerly reply.

“Those aren’t good names though?” she raises an eyebrow.

“They’d be special nicknames!” and you return to your mighty position of the Cross.

“Uhuh, what of the real names though?”

“Rinnosuke Junior, Rinnosuke Junior Junior and Watanabe”

“You’re just making this up!”

“NO MANZAI EITHER!” Rin-chan shouts from the kitchen, and this time it smells bad. Did his food catch on fire or something? Honestly it should be done a while ago by now.

He’s still a party pooper though, but an understanding among girls has been established.

Make him wear an apron one day, maybe after this not adventure.

Rin-chan will become reality lest you die!

Wait a minute...are you suffering from mood switches now too?

Don't tell me your brain has been affected by human logic.

Oh god did they infect you?! are you no longer going to be an awesome wild youkai?
Ruler over the darkness and fear incarnate turned soft, dumb and weak?! You don't want a redemption arc!

You realize you are wasting time, despite the fact that wasting it is a bit fun too.

But honestly, that’s enough talk. All plans need good planning too!

So, what’s the big plan? Where will you be heading next after this meal?

[ ] Back to the Forest of Magic (there is evidence to be retrieved. Like the two dolls)
[ ] Misty Lake/SDM (you know Dai is in there. lots of anons will go there too though.)
[ ] Bamboo Forest/Eientei (you have a freaky arm that needs fixing. Mystia sells Lamprey nearby too)

[ ] The mountain, some tengu has awfully good info/slander. Can be done later, the others are closer.
[ ] The sunflower fields No reason to go to now, even if Yuuka is a friend of Wriggle

===================
As for Right Now

[ ] Make sure Kourindou won’t have a kitchen fire.
[ ] You didn’t have the chance to look at them wares, do so now.
[ ] Talk to Marisa Done diddly done. (Doesn't mean it can't be done again)
[ ] ...On second thought. what's stopping you from ditching these losers? go now!

[ ] Genuflect.


About companions: You're free to invite anyone over to Team 9/other name or disinvite(kick).
Though whether they'll accept the offer or stay gone or decide to come back once kicked out depends on circumstances.

Also had half a mind to just force you back to the forest but that could be railroady.
So you can choose on 3 locations right now, stuff will happen whenever you finish one.
Clarification: You're not going to be stuck in one location.

You can just go to the following 3 locations alongside Kourindou whenever you want right now.

You don't have to like 100% a place of all Anons or something.

Feel free to do what you think is best.
[x] Back to the Forest of Magic (there is evidence to be retrieved. Like the two dolls)
I think it best to be a bit railroady to make sure the damn creature is dead. We can construct the rest of team 9 afterward.

[x] You didn’t have the chance to steal look at them wares, do so now.
File 16325896157.jpg - (126.77KB, 850x784, The art of looting.jpg) [iqdb]
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You discuss a plan of action with the witch and conclude, that the first thing to do is to return to the crime scene. There lies unanswered questions and unfinished business.

So you'll head there after the food.

And you don’t do things half baked, you do them FULL baked. If you’re hungry you leave no bones behind and if you feel like sleeping, then several hours will pass in the blink of an eye!

That is the way of the Dark stalker.

Not that you stalk people, actually you do.

But only for hunting purposes.

But first it’s loot Observation time. You ask the witch to show you stuff off interest that you might want to borrow since you never know what could be useful. “Do you have time? for loot time?”

She gains a shit eating grin and gladly obliges. “Hell yes~”

Various number of items are immediately shown to you by Marisa:
Like a mini representation of the earth itself (for some reason it’s round).
Some object that’s supposed to come back when you throw it (it did not).
A body sized pillow of a person you don’t know.

Some white mask with holes in it (Which did get some of your interest since in the dark it can come off as spooky).

A box filled with dee vee deees? (They need something called a player and Rinnosuke only uses it on special occasions, she recommends the one named Jurassic World with an overkill of excitement. But you think she’s lying since there’s no way someone can put like an entire world inside a small box that we can all look at for our own amusement).

Finally, some weapons like swords, axes, sword chucks and guns. (None of which appeal to you since they don't taste good. The gun went off in your mouth and all it was give a nasty taste).
A big black pot next to some other pots that are meant for uh recreational smoking and weird balloons that all give the same shape when you blow in them (perpendicular like a plastic bottle).

And finally a tee vee (Another so called watching device or so she says pff), ending it all with a washing machine that doesn’t work at all unless you got like a constant source of thunder? (Just use the river)

Sadly, there’s absolutely no food amongst the piles. really you've tried your best to find a snack.

All in all it just gives you the impression that most of these things don't work unless you've got the exact right thing for them or fit in the niche of people they are designed for. Useless to most youkais in short.

Oh, some of the items were talking like the chainsaw did but you ignored them since you know better now, no way you’ll trust the words of some talking sword or chair.
But other than that, there’s really no limit to what the dude doesn’t have. So if you want something, just write it in a write in and you’ll get it if it isn’t too unreasonable

After some time you get tired it and excuse yourself. Marisa has explained everything she saw to the best of her ability but most of what she said rose more questions or made no sense at all.
You’d nap but the light is simply too annoying to look at, and the moment you lose your concentration you’d get a nice serving of it when you rise awake. Also, food is coming.

Anyway, the former should be solved first. Like right now.

“Marisa” you lean against a wall like the stone cold mean bean machine you are and call out to her, the sun still disturbs you. “Turn the sun off” it must be eliminated

“Just a sec~” The witch gives a wave of the hand as she browses through the wares of the shop, occasionally putting stuff in her pockets that should not be able to fit. “Ok, you were saying?”

“The sun, turn it off” you repeat again, just have her spark it. It's that easy right?

“Sure, no problem” Marisa doesn’t skip a beat with her casual answer. She turns around and faces you with a thoughtful look and a new hat on as she rubs her chin “So what’s the particle light value of it? And how long do you want it out? If it’s off too long, then it might never turn on again”

"Uh what? just spark it! like shoot a big laser at it to turn it off!" you command your companion.

She looks at you incredouisly once she sees you're serious "That's...impossible"

"Why? who decided that?"

"Because it's too far away"

"Why? It's in the sky right now, like just shoot at it and the problem will be gone"

"Because not going to work kid, look the sun is simply way further than any spell I could throw at it. and even if I did shoot at it it wouldn't be affected in the least"

"Why? Are you saying the sun is stronger than you?"

"NO! I mean kind off? even if you manage to blow it up we'd all die anyway since like the sun gives heat and light and without it we'd all live in never ending darkness and stuff ze"

"But that sounds like heaven!"

"Just give it up, it's not possible and that's final"

You pause and put your hands up the air as sign of defeat. “Fine, but what else am I supposed to do? I can't thrive in daylight like this! the sun burns my eyes!” you complain out loud.

“Mm, have you tried using sunglasses? Or maybe a helmet?” Marisa asks as she moves to another aisle of junk to look slash steal from. “I think there are some here, come take a looksie ze”
That sounds like it makes sense, so you approach the spot she was browsing at.

The witch was chilling at a corner of the shop next to the entrance, there were a few barrels of weapons, alcohol and other commodities lying in a cosy assembly. On a table nearby were a bunch of potions like objects and tools for measurements you were unable to identify. Two treasure chests lie right underneath it containing maps and drawings of places unknown. “Over there!” ah there lies a bunch of glasses organized within a drawer, square ones, circled ones, blue ones, red ones, they come in different sizes and colours.
Marisa tends you one that is orange like the evening sun. “How about these? Try them on” and is barely stopping herself from just shoving them in your hands. She sure seems excited.
You put them on and look at some mirror hanging from the door “They’re…” the colour orange would go well with your design of red and black, if you had your own clothes on. “Okay?”
Okay isn’t enough for the witch if that’s why she’s frowning “Hm, true it lacks a certain…”

“Punch, it’s not good or bad but it’s not above average” you finish the sentence for her.

She nods and looks at you with appraising eyes. “If it isn’t flashy, it isn’t fashion. You have to look your best after all” then puts on another pair, and then another.

For a while you just stand there while she tries different glasses on you, every time you move, she protests in response so eventually you just sit still and wait it out “Why are you taking so loooong? It’s just some dumb glasses, just give me whatever!”

Once again, Marisa firmly refuses to let you go “No, you have to look your best. Besides they wouldn’t fit with the clothes you’re wearing right now” they’re just dumb clothes!

“Just give me my dumb clothes back, I don’t care about wat fas-something you’re talking about. Just give me something to protect against the cold and the sun and I’ll be fine!” You start to get immensely bored of this and if something isn’t fun then why do it? There’s only one way out.

You snatch the orange ones and put them on, done didly doodly DONE. And start to remove your own clothes. They’re not your style so you go around and look for bette- “HEY!” what now.

Marisa is looking at you with embarrassment and outrage “What are you doing?!”

“What do you mean?” you half listen to her as you take out some rags you can find and start cutting with your nails, this might take a while.
“You can’t just undress like that! What if someone walks in!?” she makes no sense whatsoever.
“It’s a shop, if people walk in, they’re going to buy stuff?” and you found a white string too. “That’s the basics of trade and bartering”
That doesn’t appease her “No, not that! People will see you NAKED ze! Aren’t you embarrassed?”

You shrug and continue your project. “Not really, if a dog saw you bathe would you feel embarrassed? If an ant sees you piss? Would you be ashamed? That’s how I see it”

What do you have to fear anyway? You lived most of your life in the forest anyway so there’s no way you would know if someone was observing unless you like build walls all around you. So, there’s no point in caring in how others perceive you. Humans are so fussy.
“I’m still embarrassed though…” Marisa is strongly staring at her own feet. And Kourindou will get a bad rep if a little girls walk in the nude here, is that how you’ll repay your host? Do you want him to be on the headline for that Tengu’s paper?” Marisa contests with a hurried tone.

Fine, if it is THAT big of a deal then you simply surround yourself in darkness once more and walk out of the shop, back to the one spot where the mirror is.
Soon after you come out, covered in a black made-up dress, some red fabric to act as a false tie and you’re back to your original design. Some orange sunglasses and you’re back in the game.
You admire yourself a bit and make sure that there are no holes or faults anywhere, you’ve never been for vanity, but you can’t help but smile once your splendour is back. Truly the da-what!
The mirror has a crack in it now, for a split second you saw something looming behind you too, but the image was too vague and gone the moment you sensed it. The colour green does come to mind.
Eh, it was probably nothing. And even if it was it could just be a fairy pulling a prank. Those cheeky little minxes should know better than to mess with you though. Guess you’ll have to beat up some later to jock it back in their memories.
Anyway, time to go back in the sho- the sound of metal breaking, and the sweet aroma of blood enter your senses. The source of it isn’t far away and you haven’t eaten in a while

Ooooh boy! Oh boy! Finally, some good news! You’re not sure if it’s human blood yet but you’re certain the other two were unable to detect it. They don’t have the same senses as you.

Though leaving for a quick snack may be bad form, it doesn’t matter if you’ll come back later, right? And if it’s an Anon then what they don’t know can’t hurt em! Cause no offense but Marisa and Rin-chan seem totally like the type that are not into watching you eat humans in front of em.

You peek out of a window and see Marisa is trying to set something up, like she's carrying a tee vee and trying to take stuff to the living room for some reason.

Actually wait, should you really leave? What if they notice your absence and go look for you? Besides some other youkai might be hunting it already unless it really is one of those golden moments.
Instead of eating some burned food or some second-rate rations from a second hand store you’ll get the real, succulent taste of an human. You can already imagine how it would play out:

A human having broken their weapon, steed or what have you is bleeding on the ground but valiantly refuses to die from their injuries somehow ends up in Gensokyo.

Before they can make sense of their situation you meet with them ready to lunge once their guard is down.

Noticing that something is approaching them they’ll naturally ooze out fear and regret towards the actions that have led them to this moment only feel short-lived joy and relief in knowing a cute girl approached them instead of a monster…. but then the real despair co-ooooooh~ it’s making your mouth water!

No one will care right? No one will notice right? It’ll be a quick snack!

Unless it’s a youkai that needs help but that’s super boring and a let-down. Please be food!
Shall you sneak like a shadow, or await the food with the others?

[ ] Stay in Kourindou
[ ] Sneak off for a short sec.
[ ] Inform the two of it.

[ ] Genuflect.
[x] Inform the two of it.
Just get in that pre-meal workout.

Also, [x] Snag the boomerang.
If anyone could figure out a boomerang, it's our kunai loving fairy friend Dai.
[x] Sneak off for a short sec
[x] If they ask where you go, silence is an option

Dew it quick
File 163269021436.jpg - (283.41KB, 850x836, Tie Breaker Dojo.jpg) [iqdb]
31472
I am NOT enjoying these, no sir

https://youtu.be/kLN3SbzbNcs

Suddenly, you can see a kaleidoscope of colours and a childlike wonder overcomes you.

The world is so joyous, so magical~ how did you not notice up til now?

You vow to enjoy life to the fullest henceforth as a rainbow shines in the horizons.

Life is good.

For all but five seconds after which an very muscular housewife dropkicks you straight in the noggins!

Your ass flies to the skies beyond as you become a twinkle in the sky.

This all happened cause you stole candy from a girl 300 choices back.

Sudden bad end. get rekt scrubs.

But really enough poor jokes, now isn't the time for that.

Ladies and smaller ladies!

It is time for the one thing you've all been waiting for!

The Tiebreaker Dojo!

[i] LETS PUMP THAT GOGO MOJO! /i]

Starring your favorite host: No one! wait hold on a moment.

Oh looks like noone's available after all, a shame but it can't be helped.

That was the Th- ?HOLD ON A MOMENT!?

Oh the Meatball God made it at time after all. we'll leave the hosting to it this time.

?Okay, I can do this no problem. I'm no stranger to addressing crowds even if my speech skills have grown rusty so keep that in mind and...stay tubular!?

Good luck, and see you tommorow.

?Wait we're already on? ah I mean uh AHEM Yo, surf's up! it's a me the Meatball God here my dudes and dudettes.

Here to give you insight on your choices to give you the chance to break whatever tie there is. totally tubular don'tcha think?.

Anyway let's see here: So you can choose to go off on your own for a quick snack (assuming the target is an anon or human, which would be smart in that case since otherwise the other two would food block you from consuming them).

But on the other hand do you really want to go off on your own right now? taking the first step in trusting others paves a road towards strong bonds, which is really an cliché thing to say.

But actually yknow what? bonds can also tie you down, the morals of others can lead to some options opening but others being outright disabled since people all different values like that. man the mortal life is a pain to be in...

Actually nah I'm not doing this! the choices are very clear cut and overanalysing stuff will only head to hesitation which itself will bring fear and that will lead to stagnation!

Just take whatever choice you enjoy the most, follow your guts and carve your own path through life! don't let words of advice or warnings from others limit your options.

Do whatever you consider best and stay true to your own values.

Eat when you want to eat, sleep when you want to sleep and be nice when you feel like being nice. Enjoy life your own way and don't set your standards too high.


Speaking of which I'm not going to try talking modern anymore, it just doesn't suit me.

Heh, if I did not heed the words I give you then who would trust a hypocrite?

Also someone called it cringe but no dictionary tells me what it means.

Better safe than sorry.

Either way, good luck in your journey!?

That concludes the Tie Breaker Dojo!

Good end of the weekend, and I'l just roll a die tomorrow if it's still a tie by then.
[x] Inform the two of it.
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