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File 157258354063.jpg - (386.35KB, 2048x1461, Sweet Potato.jpg)
Sweet Potato
You have no name and you must potato.

Sweet potatoes, to be exact.

'Tis the season, yet none are to be seen.

-------

The Forest of Magic is cold this early morning, and you've just woken upon a bed of out-of-season lilies in the shade of a tree. How will you sate your hunger for Sweet Potatoes?

[ ] Search the Forest
- [ ] aimlessly. Who knows what you'll run in to?
- [ ] for Marisa's Magic Shop. Maybe Sweet Potatoes are a magic ingredient you can buy?
- [ ] for Alice's Cottage. She goes shopping in the village. Perhaps she has some potato to share.
- [ ] for Cirno. She's your bestest friend. She should totally get in on this!

[ ] Eat lilies instead. They'll tide you over for now.

[ ] Ask THP if they know where to find sweet potatoes.
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[x] Ask THP if they know where to find sweet potatoes.

Minoriko when
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[x] for Alice's Cottage. She goes shopping in the village. Perhaps she has some potato to share.
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[x] Ask THP if they know where to find sweet potatoes.

phone home
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[x] Search the Forest
- [x] aimlessly. Who knows what you'll run in to?
Wild card vote.
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[x] Eat lilies instead. They'll tide you over for now.

You have to eat all the flowers.
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[X] Search the Forest
-[X] for Alice's Cottage. She goes shopping in the village. Perhaps she has some potato to share.
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[x] Search the Forest
-[x] for Alice's Cottage. She goes shopping in the village. Perhaps she has some potato to share.
Let's see where this goes.
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[x] Ask THP if they know where to find sweet potatoes.
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[x] Ask THP if they know where to find sweet potatoes.
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Four to ask THP
Three to visit Alice
One to search aimlessly
One to eat flowers

Next post in a bit!
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File 157266608138.jpg - (81.93KB, 800x1000, Instant-Pot-Mediterranean-Sweet-Potatoes-009.jpg)
Instant-Pot-Mediterranean-Sweet-Potatoes-009
You turned to your trusty desktop computer, checked to make sure it was still plugged in to the nearest tree and opened THP.

You received one reply to your plea for sweet potatoes.

"up ur butt lmao"

--------

Well, that didn't help.

[ ] Search the Forest
- [ ] aimlessly. Who knows what you'll run in to?
- [ ] for Marisa's Magic Shop. Maybe Sweet Potatoes are a magic ingredient you can buy?
- [ ] for Alice's Cottage. She goes shopping in the village. Perhaps she has some potato to share.
- [ ] for Cirno. She's your bestest friend. She should totally get in on this!

[ ] Eat lilies instead. They'll tide you over for now.

[ ] Wait, maybe they're on to something...
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[x] Wait, maybe they're on to something...
big thonk
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[x] Wait, maybe they're on to something...

shit is just smelly soggy potato's amiright?
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[x] Search the Forest
- [x] aimlessly. Who knows what you'll run in to?

I feel like rolling the dice.
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[x] Wait, maybe they're on to something...

!roll for anal exploration
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[x] Search the Forest
- [x] aimlessly. Who knows what you'll run in to?
Fine, more randomness
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That's two for aimless wandering and three for digging in the trunk! Update coming right up!
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File 157272647018.jpg - (281.73KB, 600x550, satsumaimo.jpg)
satsumaimo
Wait... Maybe, just maybe...

You turn to look thoughtfully at your cutie patootie. You look at your hand. You look at your butt again, just to be sure...

--------

Can hands even fit in butts?

[ ] Only one way to find out!
[ ] You should ask someone smart! Teacher is smart!
[ ] You should ask a body expert! You hear there's a 'farm assist' doctor in the Bamboo Forest!
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[x] Only one way to find out!
-[x] Seek something slippery for ass-sistance.
Boldly go where no faerie has dared go before!
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[x] Only one way to find out!
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[x] You should ask a body expert! You hear there's a 'farm assist' doctor in the Bamboo Forest!
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[X] You should ask a body expert! You hear there's a 'farm assist' doctor in the Bamboo Forest!
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File 157273315641.png - (266.14KB, 600x458, 912.png)
912
[X] You should ask a body expert! You hear there's a 'farm assist' doctor in the Bamboo Forest!

I'm not sure why they asked us for help.
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[X] You should ask a body expert! You hear there's a 'farm assist' doctor in the Bamboo Forest!
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Time for a visit to the Doc.
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File 157275823666.jpg - (254.36KB, 1070x588, How-to-Become-a-Pharmacist.jpg)
How-to-Become-a-Pharmacist
You don't actually know is a hand will even fit back there. Clearly you should ask someone for help!

Hmm, who to ask though? Miss Kamisamishami?

No, that won't work. Talking to her always has that little dread tickling the back of your mind that she'll give you homework. Homework sucks. No, you should ask someone else who's smart.

No, if it's a body problem, you ask a doctor, and you know just the person!

--------

You're currently before a super cute bunny nurse with lavender hair. She's busy doing paper work behind a counter. You're hanging from that counter. The bunny hasn't noticed you yet.

[ ] Ask her if Miss Yagokokoro is in... At least you think that's her name.
[ ] Ask her if hands fit in butts.
[ ] Ask her if it's possible to find sweet potatoes in butts.
[ ] Flirt, obviously.
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[X] Flirt, obviously.
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[X] Flirt, obviously.

acquire bun
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[x] Ask her if hands fit in butts.

it hungersssssssss for moooooooore
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[x] Ask her if Miss Yagokokoro is in... At least you think that's her name.
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[X] Flirt, obviously.
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[x] Ask her if hands fit in butts.
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[X] Flirt, obviously.

Reisen route never, etc. etc.
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looks like flirtation is GO!
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File 157282744618.jpg - (125.44KB, 850x612, __reisen_udongein_inaba_touhou_drawn_by_itou_yuuji.jpg)
__reisen_udongein_inaba_touhou_drawn_by_itou_yuuji
You decide that the bunny is cute.

"Hey, you're pretty cute." You state. This does not get the bunny's attention. She seems super focused on her work.

"Wanna' have dinner some time?"

The bunny looked up after a moment and a very final tap of a key on her keyboard. She saw that a fairy was flirting with her. Her face lit right up.

"Aww, lookit you! You're the cutest little thing!"

--------

You are now being snuggled by a bunny. She's very soft. Being smuggled by boobs actually makes it hard to breath.

[ ] Ask about butts.
[ ] Cop a feel of her hand.
- [ ] Possibly hold it?
[ ] Pat the bunny. You need air!
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[x] Ask about butts.
Eye on the ball. Or the butt. Or the potato. Maybe.
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[x] Cop a feel of her hand.
- [x] Possibly hold it?
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[x] Cop a feel of her hand.
- [x] Possibly hold it?
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[x] Cop a feel of her hand.
- [x] Possibly hold it?
From zero to lewd.
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[x] Cop a feel of her hand.
- [x] Possibly hold it?

a c q u i r e b u n
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[x] Ask about butts.

There's no way this bunny could possibly misunderstand our innocent quest for potato.
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[x] Cop a feel of her hand.
- [x] Possibly hold it?

take this to /at/ you degenerate
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[x] Cop a feel of her hand.
- [x] Possibly hold it?

What is wrong with you people? I thought THP had higher standards than this degeneracy!
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File 15729072945.jpg - (135.27KB, 1024x1536, Baked-Sweet-Potato-3.jpg)
Baked-Sweet-Potato-3
The bunny holds you in her lap on one of the waiting room chairs. The back of your head is resting gently on her comfy, comfy chest. Your ponytail is getting a nice hair combing as the bunny chatters.

"It's been a long while since I've seen a fairy walk in here. Oh, you're all just the cutest thing! God, I can practically hear my uterus screaming 'BABIES' every time I get to see one of you and I just can't help myself. Hey, you know, I've been thinking recently 'would it be weird to adopt a fairy and-'"

Her words cut off as you take the comb holding hand in both of your tiny, tiny fairy hands and look up at her, not really understanding what shes saying, but understanding that she likes fairies at least.

--------

As a bunny's face turns red, you think you hear the faint sound of a uterus exploding.

[ ] Oh no.
- [ ] O h n o .
- - [ ] RUN!
[ ] Accept your fate and be adopted.
[ ] Remember the goal! Ask about sweet potatoes and butts!
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[x] Remember the goal! Ask about sweet potatoes and butts!

Uh.
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[x] Remember the goal! Ask about sweet potatoes and butts!
POH TAY TOE
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[x] Accept your fate and be adopted.
- [x] Remember the goal! Ask about sweet potatoes and butts!

the best of both worlds
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[x] Accept your fate and be adopted.
Normal end.
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[x] Accept your fate and be adopted.
- [x] Remember the goal! Ask about sweet potatoes and butts!
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[x] Remember the goal! Ask about sweet potatoes and butts!
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[x] Remember the goal! Ask about sweet potatoes and butts!
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[x] Remember the goal! Ask about sweet potatoes and butts!

This cute bunny will tell us about our butt if it's the last thing she does.
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Inquisitive fairy asking about the correlation between her butt and sweet potatoes it is!
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File 157299677635.jpg - (47.98KB, 600x899, merlin_136706727_2ce09f86-757c-4b1a-9282-57e2695ed.jpg)
merlin_136706727_2ce09f86-757c-4b1a-9282-57e2695ed
You ask her if you can find sweet potatoes in butts.

An awkward moment passes, bringing a second with it. A third makes its awkward self-noticed.

The bunny tries not to laugh. She really does.

"Excuse me, what?" she manages between snickers and snorts.

--------

Apparently you weren't clear.

[ ] You want a sweet potato. The internet told you to look up your butt.
[ ] You had the thought that if you eat a sweet potato, you could just take it out of your butt and eat it again.
[ ] Can you help me find sweet potatoes?
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[X] Can you help me find sweet potatoes?
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[x] You want a sweet potato. The internet told you to look up your butt.
How does a rabbit know what the internet is?
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[x] You want a sweet potato. The internet told you to look up your butt
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[x] You want a sweet potato. The internet told you to look up your butt.
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[x] You had the thought that if you eat a sweet potato, you could just take it out of your butt and eat it again.

We did it, Reisen! We solved world hunger!
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[x] Can you help me find sweet potatoes?

please
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We're explaining that the internet told us to! Expect post tomorrow. It's only natural that I bump up the update schedule to make up for my sudden disappearance out of nowhere so expect faster post for a couple days.
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File 157342934289.jpg - (24.52KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)
NSFW image
You quickly explain that the internet, in its all-knowing wisdom, told you to look up your butt for sweet potatoes.

The bunny did a valiant job holding back laughter as she placed a hand on your head.

"Oh, sweetie, you can't believe everything you read on the internet."

--------

Your mind has just been blown and your world view rocked. What is a reasonable response?

[ ] "No, no that can't be true!"
[ ] Stare in awe as wisdom floods your mind.
[ ] Proceed to foam at the mouth.

--------

LIGHTNING ROUNDS! First three votes calls it and update happens immediately!
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[X] Stare in awe as wisdom floods your mind.
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[x] Proceed to foam at the mouth.
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[x] Proceed to foam at the mouth.

But, we have to trust random people on the internet! Who else is there?
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That's three votes with a winner for foam!
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[x] Proceed to foam at the mouth.
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File 157343558046.jpg - (145.15KB, 850x621, __hijiri_byakuren_and_kasodani_kyouko_touhou_drawn.jpg)
__hijiri_byakuren_and_kasodani_kyouko_touhou_drawn
What? But... Who would do that? Who would just go on the internet and lie like that?

--------

You're on some kind of table thing in front of the Nurse now as you foam at the mouth. Yagokokokokoro Ernie or something like that. She's staring at her bunny nurse incredulously.

"I don't know what you expect me to do about this. I'm a pharmacist, not a surgeon."

--------

[ ] Wait, you had a question to ask the nurse, right? Stop foaming at the mouth.
[ ] Actually, you quite like the pain in your lungs. Keep foaming for now.
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[x] Wait, you had a question to ask the nurse, right? Stop foaming at the mouth.
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[x] Wait, you had a question to ask the nurse, right? Stop foaming at the mouth.
P O T A T O
O
T
A
T
O
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[x] Wait, you had a question to ask the nurse, right? Stop foaming at the mouth.

Focus. Where do these potatoes come from, if not butts?
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We stop foaming!
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You stop foaming at the mouth. You sit up.

"Do hands fit in butts?"

--------

A nurse and a pharmacist are staring at you.

[ ] Try asking again.
[ ] try asking if sweet potatoes are found in butts instead.
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[x] try asking if sweet potatoes are found in butts instead.
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[x] try asking if sweet potatoes are found in butts instead.
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[x] try asking if sweet potatoes are found in butts instead.

Maybe they can give you tips?
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[x] try asking if sweet potatoes are found in butts instead.

help us, Eirin
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[x] try asking if sweet potatoes are found in butts instead.
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[x] try asking if sweet potatoes are found in butts instead.

WOW life got busy. And it's still busy! But I'll try to work in another update at the very least at least every three votes.
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You try again, only this time you try asking a different question. A question about that sweetest of potatoes. You hope this works...

"Can you find sweet potatoes in butts?"

The genius of the moon. That's what the called Yakoroko. As such, she was the first to answer.

"How did you just... That's medically impossible!"

--------

You don't seem to be getting through to them. They're just staring at you like you're a ghost or something. Which is weird, because you're not a ghost, you're a fairy.

[ ] Try the potato question again. Maybe they didn't hear you.
[ ] Try the hand question again. Maybe this time they'll answer.
[ ] Time for a different approach. Ask both questions but SLOWLY so their non-fairy brains can follow.
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[X] Time for a different approach. Ask both questions but SLOWLY so their non-fairy brains can follow.

It's like talking to foreigners. If you just repeat yourself slower, and possibly louder, they will understand eventually.
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[x] Time for a different approach. Ask both questions but SLOWLY so their non-fairy brains can follow.

They're definitely not very bright. We need to slow our roll to give them a chance to keep up.
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[x] Time for a different approach. Ask both questions but SLOWLY so their non-fairy brains can follow.
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[x] Time for a different approach. Ask both questions but SLOWLY so their non-fairy brains can follow.
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[X] Time for a different approach. Ask both questions but SLOWLY so their non-fairy brains can follow.
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File 157400100572.jpg - (132.19KB, 850x794, a couple of dummies.jpg)
a couple of dummies
You point at your HAAAAAND. HAAAAAAAAA-NNNNNN-DUH! See? You hold it up to see if the dummies are following.

The bunny looks like she's getting mad for some reason, but the Great Boobs of the Moon made her stop. She wore a smile that was either smug or comprehending.

Clearly the second of the two, you continue.

--------

You have successfully communicated to the smart moon boob genius. Bunny just looks mad. Probably because she's so dumb.

[ ] Soothe the bunny by patting her head. Don't worry, she'll be smart someday.
[ ] Reward the Yagysaggies with a kiss for her smartness.
[ ] Get to the point and get your answer.
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[x] Get to the point and get your answer.
Dammit, woman, where potato
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[x] Soothe the bunny by patting her head. Don't worry, she'll be smart someday.
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[x] Reward the Yagysaggies with a kiss for her smartness.
not so saggy thanks to lunar super science
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[X] Soothe the bunny by patting her head. Don't worry, she'll be smart someday.

Clearly she just needs to study sweet potatoes some more.
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[x] Soothe the bunny by patting her head. Don't worry, she'll be smart someday.
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[x] Soothe the bunny by patting her head. Don't worry, she'll be smart someday.
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[x] Get to the point and get your answer.
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