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You should know how this works.

You wake up in Gensokyo. What do you do?
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[x] Tell the shitty writer to fuck off
[x] Magic Conch: "Nothing."

You do nothing. Nothing happens.
[x] Ascend to a higher plane of existence.
[x] Walk until you meet someone

[x] Panic.

You ascend to a higher plane of existence. Now there, you notice a girl with blue hair wearing peaches on her head and waving a lightsaber around. It's orange, so she's probably evil.

Force choke her, then take hat.
And eat a peach. You freaking love peaches.

You try to force choke the girl, but even in your ascended state you do not have any force powers. Putting this aside, you walk up to the girl and grab her hat anyway. As it leaves her head, she falls to the ground and curls up into a ball, screaming and crying.

Tenshi's hat equipped. Makes you feel just peachy.
[x] Might as well take the sword.

You pick up the sword next to the girl. Turns out it's not a lightsaber, just orange.

Sword of Hisou equipped. +5 ATK. 100% critical hit rate.

The girl is still crying in front of you. Sure is getting annoying.
[x] Might as well take her, if you know what I mean.

You take the girl out for a nice seafood dinner. She continues crying. The other customers are giving you strange looks. The waiter asks you to leave.
[x] Show the girl your penis.
descend to mortal realms and spread a religion based on your ascended wisdom.
>[x] Show the girl your HUGE penis.

You show the girl your penis. She continues crying. The other customers recoil in shock, some snickering at the size of your pathetic fuckstick, and the waiter kicks you out. What a dick.


You head back to the mortal realms of Gensokyo and start up a faith revolving around celestials and you as their idol, gaining three or four followers before the annoying red-white shows up claiming you're stepping on her turf and shit, and also calling you a bitch.
[X] Fuck her shit up
Stab the sword through the red-white's head.

You search around for the last place the miko took a dump, then pick it up and have sex with it. Two of your followers leave, but the other one tells his deviant friends and you get a few more.
The red-white doesn't bother you anymore.

However, you seek revenge! This is your turf now, bitch! You hunt down the red-white with your followers behind you chanting for you to kill her. Upon finding her you stab her through the head with your sword. It's a critical hit, and her head explodes.
However, because Reimu was the only person keeping the barrier between Gensokyo and the real world alive, the barrier collapses and Gensokyo is destroyed.

[x] New fucking game
[x] Find Tenshi
[x] Steal her stuff again
[x] Fuck her

We'll get her to love us. LOVE US
[x] Survive the collapse of the barrier. Find female survivors. Start repopulating what used to be Gensokyo.

Thread Watcher x