Angry Desu !jVJAZ.LN/Q 2009/06/03 (Wed) 02:25 No. 87933 “Aha,” You laugh lightly at the duo's comedy before holding your hand out for a handshake. “Special Segeant Senchiya,” You state, “written as 'A Thousand and One Nights'” you clarify, causing the doctor to grin.
“Is that so~” she mumbles, “A thousand and one nights would be so much fun~” She pauses and seems to frown slightly, “As long as there's none of that stupid 'daylight' in between...”
“I had noticed it was a little dark in here,” you joke which causes Rumia to frown and her assistant to smile slightly. “It's the first time I've seen an autopsy in the dark.”
The doctor levels a flat glare in your direction. “First time working with youkai too I see. You absolutely reek of fear right now. Compared to my assistant,” she nods her head in his direction, “who smells like a vase of flowers.” One corner of her mouth rises in a mean smirk. “Or rather, he smells like barbeque sauce. So tasty~” The assistant jerks upright for a moment, before slumping back down.
“Don't joke like that doctor,” he mutters, “Or I won't tell you what I made for lunch.”
Immediately Rumia's personality does an apparent one-eighty as she squeals girlishly, “Is it curry!?” She exclaims, her hands whipping up into a stereotypical 'cute' pose. “Is it!?”
“Ah... Doctor Rumia?” You cut in, the young woman giving you barely a glance as she continues to bug her assistant over the nature of the lunch he apparently made. Helpless you look over at your captain, who merely sighs, reaches over, and smacks her fist into the side of Rumia's head. “C-captain!” You exclaim, not expecting such abuse.
“She's youkai.” The captain replies, “To her that was less painful than a flick to the ear.”
“It's true~” sing-songs the doctor, “You really need to learn about youkai!” She smiles at you, “The first thing to learn is that we're way, way, way more powerful than you~”
“I have a gun you know.” Rumia laughs at your protest, and even the assistant seems to be sniggering to himself. “What?”
"Well... then... You have any tips for a human grunt who knows next nothing about youkai physiology? Where do I shoot, and when do I stop shooting?" Your question, though starting slow, comes out in a rush. Most of what you knew about youkai was either the 'equality' crap the Youkai Integration Party rammed down everyone's throats in school, or from rumors and talk you'd heard in the station offices. Hell, you'd learned more hard facts about youkai in the past hour or so than you had known for the past few years!
“Where to shoot~” Doctor Rumia ponders the question for a moment, “Pysiologically the majority of youkai are like humans for the most part,” she states, slipping into a more professional sounding tone. “Two arms, two legs, a torso and a head. All the expected organs, brain, heart, lungs, and generally all where you would find them in a human.” She nods, “So logically you would aim as you would a human, correct? For the center of mass, the torso, or for the head if a swift execution was needed.”
“That's what I was trained to do,” you respond, then decide to elaborate. “Sniper training, I didn't finish the course due to injury but I do remember what I was taught while I was there.”
“Then learn to forget it all.” pipes up the assistant as he probes at the corpse on his table with a variety of instruments. “Physically they may be similar, but appearances are pretty much where things end when it comes to youkai.” He glances over at doctor Rumia, who gives him a curt nod. “Come over here for a moment, and give this girl a poke or two.” Noticing the captain giving you an encouraging nod, you step over to the corpse - catching a pair of latex gloves the assistant tosses to you. Quickly you pull them on and stand over the corpse... It smells, frankly, awful. Not as bad as some bodies you had seen in the field, but still enough to make you gag somewhat. “Here.” You look up to see the assistant holding out a scalpel for you to take. “Go ahead, give her a stab - right her would be best as we have to cut that part open later anyway.” He points to a patch of skin a few inches from the gaping gunshot wound in the bodies abdomen. For the first time you note that the body is female and looks almost a year or two younger than you do. She also has four eyes - one set mounted above the other. Biting your lip you take the scalpel from the assistant and cut into the body...
Or at least you tried to at any rate. The skin bowed beneath the blade, but it didn't show any signs of being pierced at all. Pressing harder you finally manage to make the tip of the blade penetrate before, with a sharp crack, the metal shatters into two pieces - the handle you held and a chunk of blade that was barely piercing the youkai girl's dead flesh. You swore.
“Now do you see~?” Rumia sings, “And this is a dead youkai~ Which means no magic to reinforce it's bodily structure~” The assistant, standing opposite you, merely ducks his head.
“We use special tools on youkai,” he admits, “That scalpel wasn't one of them, it's rated for humans - quarter youkai at best.” Reaching down the man pulls out a new scalpel, one that looks to be at least twice as thick and heavy as the one you had just tried to use. “This one is rated for most youkai use, but for top level youkai - such as Oni - we'd have to be using demon-killing enchanted blades, and those are not exactly easy to come by.”
“Not to mention they just wreck onmyological evidence on a body when you use one.” Rumia adds before floating around to join the assistant on his side of the table. “You asked when to stop shooting?” She murmurs, “The answer is simple - when you run out of bullets, or when it kills you. Whichever comes first.” Shrugging lightly she gestures to the wound, “A big enough caliber weapon will hurt some levels of youkai but your standard sidearm? Forget it. You'd be better off with a solid slug shotgun or a heavy duty rifle if you really want to stop a youkai - but even that will be shrugged off by the strongest youkai.”
“We'll be getting her a Silver as soon as we can.” The captain speaks up, causing Rumia and the assistant to nod.
“Silver?” You ask, wondering what she meant.
“Silver clip.” She responds, “A clip of bullets enchanted to hurt youkai, something similar was probably used on this girl here.” The captain gestures to the corpse. “They'll upgrade your peashooter somewhat, but they're really just a stopgap until we can get you properly trained in anti-youkai methods.”
“Oh?” Rumia coos, “Not giving her a Bad Luck?”
The captain glances at you. “Thirteen millimeter high-onmyou anti-youkai pistol, or 'Bad Luck' as we call it.” she explains before looking back to the blond girl. “If we think she can handle the recoil then we have no problems giving her one - but you know anyone short of a youkai can't normally manage such a thing without risking their arm snapping.” The doctor nods thoughtfully. “Her key result was pretty good, so we might be able to give her some reinforcement onmyou training.” The captain glances at you again, “Body reinforcement through onmyology,” she explains, “Similar to what all youkai do naturally, it'll increase your speed, strength and resilience to some extent - enough to use a Bad Luck if we're lucky. If not then we have alternatives. Anyway,” she turns to the doctor, “Give me a report when the autopsy is complete - but I think I get the general idea of what we're looking at already, a drive-by shooting involving enchanted bullets... definitely not a random murder or a heist gone wrong.”