In the wake of the varied successes of some IRC-run stories, and because I was bored, I decided to see how SHOES! would feel if done on IRC. The absurdity of SHOES! might be better suited to the fast impromptu style of IRC writing anyways, at least that’s what I’m trying to find out. Plus it’s easier for me to write impromptu stuff right now anyways. If the general opinion is that is sucks, I won’t try again. So here’s some lame silliness.
When you last left yourself, you were probably doing something! Oh, yes! You were going to make Mokou unhealthy with deep fat frying, or something! Cleary this will get you her shoes in the long run! It’s a brilliant plan; believe it! Only the savviest of savvy talkers will be able to makes a deep-fried sales pitch to this square! But that’s YOU!
Unfortunately for you, you’ve not planned any further ahead than that! In a matter of seconds you’ve stopped caring about something so difficult, and casually stroll over to the yakitori stand. The silver-haired target of yours is cleaning dishes and doesn’t seem to notice you right away. >[x] Tell Mokou she missed a spot in her cleaning. A cunning distraction!
Those dishes' cleanliness is shameful! Look, look right there! A smear of chicken grease that she's overlooked! Being the nice girl you are, you inform her forthwith of this error! She peers at the dish intently, then grumbles something about not having enough help around the kitchen. Her mental barriers are down now! You could get away with a lot more, probably! >[x] Ask if you could help in return for shoes!
Seeing her all alone like that brings a metaphorical tear to your eye. How sad, for a hard-working girl to be all alone. You should be the Good Samaritan and put aside petty grievances! If only you knew what the word Samaritan meant... >[x] Samaritan means “someone who helps another then steals their shoes while they sleep”.
But why be good when you can be good AND cunning! Helping helpers get help helped out to them! Maybe she’ll reward your kindness with things! Things like shoes! You inform her of a proposition for some part-part-very-part-time assistance. She shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly and says…no?! No, she doesn’t need your help?! Outrageous! You remember now! Samaritan means 'someone who helps another then steals their shoes while they sleep'! Ohh, you feel like a Samaritan all right! >[x] Show determination through BURNING FURY. >[x] Ninja jump onto counter. >[x] Take rag. >[x] Dry dishes whilst flipping over them.
Your fury burns with a BURNING FURY! You don’t care what kind of magic powers this Mokou has, it’s probably nothing like the BURNING FURY you have right now! Unfortunately, it’s somewhat difficult to show BURNING FURY when all you have is a leaky water gun. But that’s not important now! Aided by your BURNING FURY, your shoes jump like a ninja onto the countertop, and take you with them! Pointing a finger filled with BURNING FURY at Mokou you tell her you’re going to clean dishes whether she likes it or not! You snatch a rag from somewhere nondescript and have at those dirty dishes like the real pro that you are! A real ninja wishes
they were this awesome! Mokou is exceedingly skeptical of this tomfoolery! >[x] Wash those dishes like the Dishwasher of the North Star. >[x] Kick the sink.
Boy, this grease sure is stuck hard onto these plates! But that just means you’ll have to be even harder! Your fist scrubs back and forth like some kind of shiny light in the night sky, maybe to the north! You have no idea if that is awesome or not! But you know what IS awesome? Of course you do, because you’re you! BURNING FURY is what is awesome! However, these plates don’t have enough BURNING FURY to keep up with you! They begin to shatter like old rubber soles, bouncing onto the ground. Mokou probably is shouting at you right now, but you’re in the zone, baby! You display further levels of BURNING FURY by kicking the kitchen sink! Ow, that really hurts, and accomplished nothing! Mokou is now beginning to show the first signs of BURNING FURY herself! Perhaps you should care about that. >[x] BURNING FURY Shouting match >[x] It's just like Dragonball!
Mokou’s BURNING FURY appears to be of the SHOUT domain, somewhat at odds to your DISHWASH domain. But you’re no slouch when it comes to shouting, so why not give it a go! The two of you begin to raise quite the ruckus, and nearby onlookers wonder which one of you is more insane. But they don’t have enough BURNING FURY to appreciate just what’s going on here! Your shouts begin to approach critical mass! >[x]UNLEASH VOLCANIC FURY
A little meter-bar thing at the bottom-left of your mind’s eye tells you that your BURNING FURY has reached 100%! It’s most assuredly nothing like anything someone else may have made to do something like an ultimate attack on the television; you made this up yourself! You have FURY power; USE IT!
ULTIMATE ATTACK GO? Y/N >[x] Y
Ultimate attack is a go! Think up an awesome name, quickly quickly! >[x] Sole Survivor!
You can feel the heat welling up inside you, all around you…your vision grows hazy from the massive reserves of BURNING FURY. You’re positive you can see fire all around you; what power you must have inside of you! You begin sweating, and your body starts to hurt, but that can’t possible be from the fire all around you; it’s just the tingling of an ultimate attack! Before you lose your consciousness to the awesome power of BURNING FURY, you ready your shoes and feet for what must come next! After this attack, there’ll only be one Sole Survivor: YOU!!
You wake up in a pile of rubble and ash. You smell very, very smoky. What happened to your clothes? But at least your shoes are safe! >[x] check to see if Mokou's shoes are left
Clothes aren’t important right now; victorious shoes are! You crawl around in the pile of debris like a children’s sandbox, sifting through the aftermath of what could only be your ultimate attack. There’s no way that Mokou girl could have done something like this, right? Only you had enough BURNING FURY for an attack like this! Suddenly, success! Amidst a pile of broken ceramic and what might have been a cookie sheet, you spot a sole! There’s no way your eyes could mistake a shoe, even if it’s melted and crispy back like this one is! And there’s the other one too, right where a pair should be: next to it! Seems they’re a bit brittle, but they’re none other than Mokou’s shoes!
VICTORY DANCE? V/N >[x] V?
V for Very, Very Verily! Specify type of dance. >[x] Do the Hustle? >[x] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4BGRDKPzn4
An overwhelming urge to “Do the Hustle” fills you to the brim. Sure, why not? Brushing some of the ash off of you, you stand up and bust some fresh moves. Even after all this, the shoes on your feet are still up to a little dancing. You’ve chosen well with that pair, sure enough! You start to improvise with some epic moves only a low-budget movie with pure heart could match! It feels like your BURNING FURY has been transformed into CANNED HEAT! A small crowd begins to gather from afar, wondering why the devil a naked girl is dancing in the ashes of Mokou’s yakitori stand. You wonder that yourself; you’d better get these shoes to a safe place! You hustle right on out of there, and out of this IRC channel.