File154698419987.jpg- (145.29KB, 850x1098, ice.jpg) [iqdb]
[x]Sure, why not. I've escaped death enough times, I'm sure I can do it one more time if she tries to eat me.
[x]Both of these options are bullshit, I'm gonna go in the forest and keep walking until I'm out the other side.
Dammit, I have a feeling I'm gonna regret this later. But for now, fuck it. "Yeah, you can tag along, I guess. But we're going where I say, alright?"
"So, where did you say that human in the forest was?"
She takes some time to think about it. "I think... somewhere that way?"
"Alright, cool." We're going the other direction, then.
"W- Wait! Gordon! That's the wrong way!"
"Yeah, I know. I said we're going where I say, remember? And I say we go somewhere else entirely."
She doesn't really have an answer for that. She's still going with me, though, hovering just above the ground. Huh, it almost looks like she's swimming through the air. Muscle memory, maybe?
"So, uh, Gordon, what happened to your ear?"
Oh right, I almost forgot that happened. Apparently the bandage fell off at some point, so now I just have a chunk of my ear missing. Wonderful. "It got shot off, nothing big."
Now she's panicking. "Are you okay? Can you still hear out of it?"
"Yeah, hearing's fine, it only knocked off the outer part of the ear." You know, for someone that could very well be planning to eat me, she's being awfully worried about this.
Maybe... she doesn't want to kill me?
Naaaaah. Nothing good has happened to me yet today, why start now?
Conversation died there, but I still have a few questions. "So, other than man-eating creatures like yourself, anything else I should know about Gensokyo?"
"I don't eat humans!" That sounds like something a human-eater would say. "And... Well, you might need to look out for fairies. They aren't too dangerous, but they like to play pranks on... well, everyone, sometimes."
Fairies, vampires, and mermaids, oh my. I'm starting to think the term 'youkai' is less the species and more of an umbrella term for anything not human around here. "Pranks are a lot better than getting shot at or eaten, so I'll be fine."
Now she looks almost sad. What did I say? "What did you do in the Outside?"
"I was a theoretical physicist."
Now she's just staring at me. "A what?"
Huh, guess they don't have those around here. "A scientist."
"Then why were you getting shot at?"
"See, that's what I was saying the whole time! It was bad enough that fucking aliens started invading, but then the military is too damn stupid to know what a 'rescue' operation is, so they just fucking shoot everyone! So now I have to shoot them first so I don't get capped by Johnny Marine and his inability to understand orders!"
Shit, got a little worked up there. It looks like I'm close to scaring Waggysaggy off.
"But, uh, it's fine now. I got sent to the alien world and killed their god, and then I got hired by the CIA, so I guess it's all good now."
"...that doesn't sound... believable."
"Yeah, I'd say the same thing, but look how that turned out." On the bright side, it turns out it's pretty easy for me to kill people now. I should probably be a little worried about that, but that can wait until I actually have to deal with consequences.
She's just silent now. Fine with me, it looks like the forest is clearing up a bit now. Looks like my plan of wandering aimlessly actually paid off! Hell yeah.
So, I guess the question remains, what to do with Waggysaggy once I reach that Human Village? Because now that I think about it, if she really wanted to kill me, she would've done a better job of it if she got me into the water with her. And not once during our trip through the forest did she do anything to attack me.
Maybe... maybe I am being a little paranoid?
Not like you can blame me, though. She literally told me youkai eat people, and then a moment later told me she was a youkai. What else was I supposed to think?
Eh, maybe I shouldn't be so hard on her. It's clear she's... well, I don't want to call her 'stupid', but she's clearly not all there. People seem to think I hate all stupid people, and while that's not a bad conclusion to reach, it's also not entirely true. I only hate stupid people if their stupidity hurts me in some way, or if they're stupid but they think they're not.
Waggysaggy might not be the smartest, but I can at least say she knows it, I think. She hasn't tried to lecture me on anything she actually has no goddamn clue about, so that's a plus. Now if only-
"AAAAH WHAT THE FUCK COLD!"
WHAT WAS THAT? DID SOMETHING GET IN MY SUIT?
"WHO'S LAUGHING AT ME? I'LL KILL YOU!"
"Gordon, calm down!"
There's the fucker that did this. Girl in a blue dress, floating in the air some distance away with weird crystal wings, laughing her ass off at me. Dammit, I can't reach her when she's that high! I need my guns back.
I can still yell at her, at least. "The fuck was that for?!"
"It was hilarious!" And now she's laughing again.
"Waggysaggy, throw me."
"W-What? I can't-"
Wait, there's a second one now. Has more normal wings, green hair, and is saying something to the blue one. Blue one apparently likes what she's hearing, and- oh good, she's coming closer.
"You think you can beat me up? Good luck, I'm the strongest thing here, I won't lose to a human!"
She's just barely out of crowbar range, and I don't think I can talk her into getting closer. "Did you really have to throw ice in my suit?! That shit was cold!"
"Well, yeah, ice is cold. Are you stupid or something?"
Fuck, I missed, she took to the air again. "Too slow, human!"
"GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE! I JUST WANT TO TALK, WITH MY CROWBAR!"
Someone's pulling on my arm. "Gordon, please! It was just a prank, remember?"
Oh, these are fairies then? I guess they look the part, now that I know that. Plus, I think the green hair one is doing the same thing as Waggysaggy, trying to talk her friend out of pissing me off even more. That's good, the green hair one gets to live.
"Waggysaggy, would anyone be upset if I killed a fairy?"
She looks conflicted. "I mean, fairies die all the time, and they regenerate a bit afterwards... But still, let's just ignore them and keep going."
Oh, so they don't die when they're killed? So I can kill someone and not have to face consequences for it later?
Well, apart from the dozens of soldiers I killed already.
Still, I very much can't fly. Without guns, I just have to hope she gets close enough. And if she's throwing ice at me that whole time, even with this suit, she could actually maybe kill me, eventually.
[ ]Fairies can die and come back, so literally no one will care if I beat one to death right now.
-[ ]Take it slow, stay calm. If I can bait her close enough, I can get a good hit in, then I can finish her.
-[ ]If I keep going after her, eventually she'll fuck up enough that I can beat her fucking skull in.
-[ ]NO ONE EXPECTS A CROWBAR PROJECTILE
[ ]Maybe I should listen to Waggysaggy. This would be like shooting a kid who egged my house with a tazer. Sure it was probably justified, but I doubt it would look that way in court.