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File 151207363237.png - (340.44KB, 832x196, china-grove.png) [iqdb]
198302 No. 198302
// Formerly known as GreaterYakani.

A curtain lifts.

---- CHINA GROVE ----
---- Select Arc ----

[_] Kannapolis Arc
[_] China Grove Arc
[X] Concord Arc (locked)
[X] Charlotte Arc (locked)
[X] ?????? (locked)

// Votes will close 48 hours after the time of this post.
// (Selection Type: Linear Selection)
Expand all images
>> No. 198303
// It will also close when an option is first to five, that or 48 hours pass, whichever goes faster.
>> No. 198308
[X] Kannapolis Arc
Seems to be the first arc.
>> No. 198309
[o] China Grove Arc
>> No. 198319
Vote closed... will write update either today or tomorrow...

~ Kurzov
>> No. 198325
File 151230487482.png - (77.25KB, 640x480, kako-MwJEUkgXGCCTsNVo.png) [iqdb]
>> [1] - Kannapolis Arc
[1] - China Grove Arc


// Here we go

It was a normal Saturday morning. You've already brushed your teeth and got dressed. Before you walk out, you can hear someone grumbling. "...Why am I here... again..." You walk out to the living room in curiosity. When you get there, you see a girl sitting on your couch, she's wearing an over the top hat, and a blue dress.

What do you respond with?

[_] "Hm?"
[_] "Who are you?"
[_] ___ WRITE ___ IN ____
>> No. 198327
Vote will close in 48 hours, like before.
>> No. 198336
[X] Write in
[X] How did you get in here!?
>> No. 198338
[X] Write in
[X] How did you get in here!?
>> No. 198339
Vote closed.

Will hopefully get the update out later today, I have a lot of things to get done...

~ Kurzov
>> No. 198340
File 151248563391.png - (108.56KB, 500x457, Meemz.png) [iqdb]
>> Only responses were "How did you get in here!?"


// Got my braces off today, feeling rather good

"Wait, wait, wait... how did you get in here!?" You questioned, hoping for an answer. She took a long time to answer, but eventually, she did. "Sorry. I... don't have an answer for you... I know the basics on how I got here, but I can't remember any specifics who sent me here. I don't remember anything from my past, either..." The girl explained. "You are?" She asked. "Name's Robert. Rob for short." You replied. "Mima." The girl then said, brushing through her odd lime-colored hair. "No way to get back, no sukima, nothing..." Mima muttered.

[_] Ask Mima something.
> [_] About 'sukima'?
> [_] About going back... to where?
> [_] Anything else you could tell me?
> [_] (Write-In)
// Pick one of the above in conjunction with a vote for one of the below.
[_] Go somewhere.
> [_] Park
> [_] Store
> [_] Cafe
[_] Stay home. An early lunch, perhaps?
>> No. 198341
[X] Ask Mima something.
> [X] About 'sukima'?
> [X] About going back... to where?
> [X] Anything else you could tell me?
>> No. 198342
[X] Ask Mima something.
[X] "Mima? Sounds a bit foreign. Where are you from?

I like the multi arcs you're going for, and how you expanded the write in to make flow easier, but I notice you don't seem to be descriptive about the setting. Other then that, I'm interested to see where this story will go!
>> No. 198352
Vote closed.

Hopefully, I'll be able to get it out today. If not, I'll get it out tomorrow.

~ Kurzov
>> No. 198353
File 151268330613.jpg - (24.47KB, 320x320, mima is an unincorporated town in the state of ken.jpg) [iqdb]
[2] - "Mima? Sounds foreign... where are you from?"
[1] - "Sukima"?
[1] - "Anything else you could tell me?"


// I have nothing to say

"Mima, eh? Sounds foreign... Where ya' from?" You asked. Mima was slow to respond, but she did so. "Place called Gensokyo. Don't remember much of it at all, like I said, I don't remember much of my past." Mima answered. "So... what was that 'sukima' thing you were muttering about?" You next questioned. "Sukima, sukima, sukima... boundary. Her name is Yakumo... and that's all I remember." Mima replied. "Is there like... any other things I should know about you?" "Nothing that I can remember..." Mima said glumly.

Mima sat for a moment. "Change the subject?" You asked. "Yeah, sure." Mima answered, and you gladly did so. "Well, my friend's having a party tonight, wanna go?" "Sure thing!"

...A few hours later...

You've arrived at the party. What do you want to do?

[_] Have a drink (or two)
[_] Talk with some friends
[_] Play some games

Also, do you want Mima to come along with you?

[_] Yes
[_] No
>> No. 198360
[X] Talk with some friends

"Well, my friend's having a party tonight, wanna go?" "Sure thing!"

Looks like she coming anyway so... [X] Yes
>> No. 198370
Vote closed. Even with one player, we will still go on...!
>> No. 198373
File 151292185883.jpg - (166.05KB, 1024x577, I try my best to find relevant images.jpg) [iqdb]
// [0] Have a drink (or two)
>> [1] Talk with your friends
// [0] Play some gaems
>> [1] Mima: Yes
// [0] Mima: No


// Delayed the closure of voting by a day to see if anybody else would vote, but I guess there was none. I suppose that it's just me and you, Anon - although there's nothing wrong with that if you asked me.

You and Mima enter the party house, and there's things going on all over the place. Some are playing games, some are getting drunk, and some are just conversing with each other. You make a beeline for the latter.

The people already there greet you with smiles. "Hey Rob! See you got yourself a..." One person trails, noticing Mima. That person got a pretty serious glare from Mima, from what you could see. "No, not at the moment." You responded soon after. "So, how's the show going?" A different person asked another. The man in the blue suit responded, "Network's being a pain, but it's going alright." A woman got out of her seat and brought over two additional seats. "There you go." She responded.

You and Mima sat in the chairs, as Mima thanked the person that brought the seats. "The one in the blue suit is Tom, orange jacket is Allen, that guy that looks drunk is Ralph, the girl that brought the seats over is Allison, and the guy that's sitting in front of the fireplace is who we call Scott." You explain, whispering in Mima's ear.

Scott soon brings up the newly entered Mima. "She got a name?" He asks casually. "Name's Mima. I've got no clue how she got in my house. She doesn't know either." You answer. "Well, that's a storrr..." Ralph replies, his head now lying sideways on the table. "C'mon Ralphy, wake up." Allison says. "So, Rob," Allen asks, "how's your work been going?"

Where do you work?

[_] Grocery store cashier
[_] Cubicle worker
[_] Janitor
[_] Cook
[_] (Write-In)
>> No. 198385
Anybody voting?
>> No. 198386
[X] Cubicle worker

This story needs some love...
>> No. 198413
Vote closed. ETA unknown.
>> No. 198423
File 151348392931.jpg - (195.41KB, 1200x628, workin 9 to 5 in a cubicle.jpg) [iqdb]
// Thanks

>> [1] Cubicle Worker


You soon respond. "It's... been going alright, I've gotten the usual grumpy customer or two, but it's still been okay. As okay as a job working nine to five in a cubicle can be, at least." "Good to hear." Allen replies. "...And you all?" Mima unexpectedly interrupts. "Houses are selling great." Scott answers, soon followed by Ralph. "Goinnnnng... great." He drunkenly replies, head returning sideways to the table. "Same old, same old..." Allison eventually grumbles. "Okay, then." The green-haired Mima responds.

A short silence follows. "So... what do you all do here?" Mima then asked. There was a sudden quiet at the table, as some looked to Scott. "Well... how do I put it..." Scott answered, "I suppose we play games, talk a bunch, get drunk, and play more games." Mima was quick to answer. "Okay then, that's alright."

Tom extended his hand. "I suppose this is a bit late, but welcome to the club." Mima gladly shook his hand. "Thank you."

Now what...?

[_] Play a game or two
[_] Grab the booze!
[_] Go home, it's starting to get late...

Also, do you...?

[_] Ask Mima to stay along with you
[_] Let Mima go and do her own thing
>> No. 198425
[X] Play a game or two
>> No. 198426
[x] Grab the booze!
[x] Ask Mima to stay along with you

This can't go wrong.
>> No. 198428
[x] Grab the booze!
[x] Ask Mima to stay along with you.

>> No. 198436
E.T.A. is unknown...
>> No. 198440
File 151386137951.jpg - (73.99KB, 600x600, what-could-go-wrong.jpg) [iqdb]
>> [2] Grab the booze!
>> [2] Ask Mima to stay along...

// I would put somethin' witty about alcohol here, but I've got nothin'.


Mima, slow but definitive, got out of the chair and headed toward the group where... let's just say the booze was clearly visible. You unwittingly also get up and follow Mima over. "Heyyyy... girrrl... Ya want the booze..." An obviously drunk man said. "Gladly." Mima replied, as she moved to grab a bottle. You soon followed.

In one corner, you saw two people in a drinking contest, in the other, there was some kind of dancing going on, although they weren't doing too good. You join the dancing, and a few hours pass.

By now, the effects of the alcohol are undeniably noticeable. Some people are staggering around, and there seems to be a fight going on. You and your drunken self ignore this. Regardless, someone apparently kicks you from behind, and the last thing you remember is spiraling face down toward the floor.

//// ...several hours later... ////

The birds have started to chirp and the sun has already risen. You wake up with a headache that feels like someone just ran an abandoned train straight through your head. "What even did I drink last night...?" you contemplated, having a hard time with the headache.

You also notice, alarmingly, that Mima is almost completely naked... and a little too close for comfort. Her clothes are scattered nearby, it appears...

Ugh... what do you do...

[X] Crap, this hurts bad... icepackicepackicepack
[X] Collect your new friend's clothes and try to wake her up...
[X] Try and recollect last night's events, maybe that'll help you figure something out.
[X] Wait a bit. Maybe someone else could help.
>> No. 198441
[X] Try and recollect last night's events, maybe that'll help you figure something out.
>> No. 198444
[X] Collect your new friend's clothes and try to wake her up...
>> No. 198449
[X] Try and recollect last night's events, maybe that'll help you figure something out.
>> No. 198452
Vote has closed...

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to the THP community.
>> No. 198454
Merry Christmas to you too Kurzov!
>> No. 198455
File 151425532245.jpg - (72.10KB, 640x480, thanks-ralph.jpg) [iqdb]
[2] Try and recollect previous events...
[1] Collect your new friend's clothes and try to wake her up...

// am I going for a mimaroute or am I going for a "fuck routes" thread?


What even happened... Well... you started drinking the booze, danced... then it just fades. You sit there, off-put by the nearly naked Mima, but don't get any farther in your thinking.

Without much of anything else to contemplate, you stand up, precariously stepping over some of your knocked out friends. You see Ralph waking up, having the same issues that you did... and still do. On that note, it still hurts badly.

Picking up Mima's clothes from off the ground, you step back around, heading back towards her.

Poking her in an attempt to wake her up only earns you a slap on your face by way of Mima's hand. "What was that for..." You ask her quietly. "What are you doing!?" Mima replies, not giving an answer.

"Could you put your clothes back on...?" You then reply, handing them over. "Yes, yes. Look away..." Mima answers, and you do so. When you look back, Mima has her clothes back on. Additionally, Ralph is running towards you in an attempt to punch you.

What now?


[_] Counter
[_] Dodge
[_] Defend
>> No. 198456
[X] Dodge
>> No. 198458
[X] Defend
>> No. 198467
The vote has been closed...

In the case of a tie, the vote that began the earliest will win. In this case, it was

[_] Dodge.

Be ready...

Prepare for a perspective swap coming soon too...
>> No. 198468
[1] Dodge

(Like I posted earlier, the vote that begins accumulating votes will win in the case of a tie.)


You skid to the side, aiming to dodge. Mima, unprepared, is hit. Recovering, she audibly sighs. You respond by throwing a punch, hitting Ralph in the chest. Mima plays her part by kicking his leg.

Ralph counters with his own punch, hitting you. One more kick from Mima, and he goes down. "Well..." Mima mutters.

Well... what now?

[_] It hurts a little less, but it still hurts...
[_] I guess that's a wrap. Time to return home...
>> No. 198469
[x] Wrap

Wouldn't longer, slower updates be better?
>> No. 198471

> Wouldn't longer, slower updates be better?

I'm typically quite 'touch-and-go' with my updates, with whatever I can think of from my head that fits going into the update. It seems that I've run out of ideas (within this segment, at least)... for now.
>> No. 198488
Happy New Year!

The vote has closed.
>> No. 198489
File 151485017788.jpg - (35.68KB, 460x460, Dawwww___ the cyut Hina.jpg) [iqdb]
[1] "That's a wrap..."


"I guess we should..." You trailed, as you both knew where you two were going next. Soon, you and Mima left the house where the party had taken place, and began to walk home. A little while later, you were still walking. "Hey... Mima?" "Yes?" She responded. "Do you remember anything else?" You asked... but to no response. You and Mima just kept walking. "Anything at all?" "Sorry, Rob... I still don't know." She apologized. You sigh. "Perhaps that will be the case for a while...?" You then mutter, walking home alongside Mima. When you get home... you immediately go to your bed and rest.


OOC: Sorry.

Dream Sequence?
[_] YES
[_] NO

Next, pick one of the following arc abbreviations - it will move the plot along. It is highly recommended that you vote in both sections.

[_] YUK. Arc
[_] RUM. Arc
[_] MAK. Arc
[_] MOR. Arc
[_] RNK. Arc
>> No. 198491
[X] MAK. Arc
>> No. 198492
[X] MAK. Arc

I like how you made Ralph just assault the main character for no reason. That was amusingly random.

...They say to start criticisms with a thing you liked, so I think I did well enough. Anyway...

You know, it might be a good idea to space your dialogue out into new paragraphs when different characters speak. It'd give your more room to be creative with those sentences, and make it a little more obvious to tell who's talking- so you don't have to go "he said she said" for pretty much every interaction, for the sole sake of us knowing who said what at all. Let alone what it means for more creative coupling of prose and dialogue.

It's not a huge huge issue with your small update sizes, but it makes itself pretty apparent as well since it's just... kind of awkward. Right now it seems you start new paragraphs almost arbitrarily, just to make sure it doesn't word wall up and look ugly; and that's good! It'd be even better if you sort of knew when to start a new paragraph instead of just kind of... totally randomly guessing. It might give you a better sense of pace or look even prettier if you spaced out the dialogue when people talk after one another. Go beyond and all that, yeah?

That, and doing this gives you better independence to get more creative with descriptions of things and prose, which also plays a part in pace / learning pace, etcetera.

I suppose I say this because like, some of your interactions- particularly that fight scene- came off sort of mechanical and bland because of the lack of pace; there's not much for impact or much demonstrative result after the fact; it just sort of happens and that's that, and there's not much in the moment to be particularly energetic about even. Likely because it's the exchange between a curious Mima, Main-Character-Man, and Ralph; just a little hard to get emotionally invested since the scene is just so... unprepared.

It's hard to connect with Mima since she's not very focused on at all and she seems to be reserved here, the main character didn't particularly react to being assaulted aside from self-defense and Ralph is just... Ralph. The whole 'magical girl in my home' setting has a lot of potential for fun shenaniganry, you've just kind of got to dig into your mental recesses to build it more lavishly; this work all in all's an interesting... framework, in terms of its robustness, but otherwise lacking.

...And, I know you didn't ask for criticism! I just felt like giving it because this site does have a penchant for quality, and I'd feel it remiss if people simply passed you by without so much as a word towards their disinterest. And, yes, I'm probably who you think I am. Normally I'd leave someone who's completely ignored and evaded my words twice well enough alone, but this is a new site and all, so I find it apt to give you some fair, constructive words, especially in a place like this. Too tempting!

It'd truly be remiss if no one gave another attempt at critiquing you. Had you simply taken a less blatantly obvious moniker, I may have passed this story by, rather than stop by to observe your progress. Admittedly in bad faith of me to give you exclusive treatment, but it's not like you were trying to hide, after all; and if you were, you sure give mixed signals, including your ff.net and otherwise universal username here where anonymity is a valued option most of the time. Plus- other authors I'd feel very much sheepish about brazenly dropping an essay of criticism on their lap, especially where they probably needn't any input from me at all, but you're... more approachable, yes.

...I mean, yes, the author's always going to be identified as the author, but that doesn't mean you're bound by a mighty code of honor to always be totally transparent about your identity; especially here. Like, if your name was "RedCar1998" instead of Kurzov, I'd probably not assume you were the Kurzov from everywhere that ever existed.

I can do this for all of 2018 too, Kurzov. At least you're still carrying on, I suppose.

...Oh, and happy new year!
>> No. 198496
Vote closed.

The response to the criticism follows...

> ff.net

Yeah, the reason I just lost the motivation to do the stories that I had started there (they were pretty crappy, regardless) was that I never got any reviews, anonymous or otherwise. And I don't mind the criticism, by the way!

> 'Kurzov' as a non-anonymous user

I've always typically used 'Kurzov' as a moniker for myself, even in other... places, let's just say, that typically promote anonymous posting, and I've found it helpful often when I stick to one username across platforms. (tl;dr: personal preference, basically)

> My plot and my characters are 'flat' and rigid

My past stories have always fallen into that problem - I'm making an attempt to change that with this CYOA.

> "Magical girl in my home" setting [...]"

Yes... but not quite.
>> No. 198508
[2] - YES

[2] - MAK. Arc


The world around you fades to black, as you begin to get some shuteye.


// Dream "One" Of Four...


You awaken. Off in the distance, both straight ahead and to your right is a forest, with loud noises seemingly coming from there. You scratch your head in confusion, looking about. To your left, a short distance away, is a small town, looking as if it came straight out of the Renaissance.

Farther away to your right is a much larger city, with towering skyscrapers visible, even at these distances. It looks as if you are going to have to go through the forest to get to the city. The strong winds blow through your hair rapidly, and the leaves are beginning to fall.

To your side is a sword and on the other side is a gun. An orange-haired teenager wearing an orange and green striped shirt runs past you, whipping up the wind again. You look down at yourself, and you seem somewhat faded and translucent. It also appears as if you're floating a few inches off the ground.


[_] Head towards the commotion...
[_] Go to the city...
... [_] Renaissance town?
... [_] Modern town?
[_] Chase that kid...


[_] Take the sword
[_] Take the gun

(you can only take one)


>> No. 198517
[X] Head towards the commotion...
[X] Take the gun
I'm going to be honest, I thought you would quit due to the low vote, but you just keep going and... that's really cool. You're a cool dude.
>> No. 198524
Vote closed - a lack of votes will not hold me back!

Post #12 should be coming later today...
>> No. 198525
File 151528576293.jpg - (592.33KB, 2560x1600, ryuum.jpg) [iqdb]
[1] Take the gun
[1] Head toward the commotion


After a bit of thought, you take the gun, then begin walking toward the commotion. Wind blowing, you brush through the trees, until you can see some kind of battle going on. On one side, there is a dragon-like figure and a red-haired girl. Interestingly, the dragon-like figure is only the slightest bit taller than the red-haired girl. On the other side... You're not sure who it is, as some sort of veil is obscuring said combatant. "Hehehe... you two will just be my next meal... Hehehe..." A voice, presumably the shadowed combatant, scarily demanded.

"You're not touching Neuvy!" Neuvy must be the red-haired girl's name, you assume. "Oh, yes, I will be...!" Out from the shadow veil, you can see the tip of a glowing black sword. Then, the area goes dark...

[_] Start shooting where the shadow was!
[_] Hang back, don't want to get killed here...
[_] Shoot and hide behind the trees - although this might get risky...
>> No. 198526
[X] Start shooting where the shadow was!
>> No. 198528
Vote closed. Post #13 will hopefully come later today, if not it'll probably come out tomorrow.
>> No. 198530
Update: I've got lots of other things to do... I'll try to get the update out by this weekend.
>> No. 198532
// The not-so-long awaited post arrives.


[1] Start shooting where the shadow was!

With few options left, you shoot where you think the shadow was before. Unfortunately, it seems that you missed. Off in the near distance, you could hear muffled screaming. You try again, with no luck.

At a point, the shadow lifted for a moment or two. While this occurred, you could see the girl a bit more clearly, but was too short of a timeframe to exactly describe her. "So you did... you will see how you have made your last mistake." "And so will you." The dragon being and the shadow girl retorted back and forth, as the battle seemed to shift into a pause.


[_] Keep shooting the shadow-girl, hopefully you'll get her eventually!
[_] Wait and see what happens next, best to ask questions first, shoot later.
[_] Run away... otherwise "you'll be dead before you even know it!"
>> No. 198537
[_] Wait and see what happens next, best to ask questions first, shoot later.
>> No. 198558
Vote closed. Post #14 coming soon.
>> No. 198567
File 151673781196.jpg - (178.43KB, 850x1068, its nothing personal.jpg) [iqdb]
// In other news, testing this new 'update story' checkbox thing. I hope it goes well.

[1] Wait and see what happens next, best to ask questions first, shoot later.


Perhaps it's best to wait.

You hear them blathering on about... something about some kind of 'Arena', that Neuvy girl, and other stuff that you're not sure about. It goes on for another moment or two... then it goes dark again.

"It's on!" You hear them both shout. The dragon being was soon to attack. Fire and darkness intertwined in that moment, as you hear more words, probably from the shadow girl.

"Finale Within! End of Life in Darkness!"

Suddenly, you feel light-headed, as you can see giant spheres of some kind coming from the shadow girl heading outward at all angles... including yours.


// Sorry, short post again. Was trying to avoid it. When we get started with the MAK. arc, hopefully I'll figure enough out to put an actual post in.

[_] No thanks, shadow girl! You're taking it like a man! (Shoot)
[_] End of Life? No way! You're not dying yet! (Run)
>> No. 198568
[x] No thanks, shadow girl! You're taking it like a man! (Shoot)
>> No. 198577
File 151682781339.png - (9.39KB, 640x400, welcome-to-mak-arc.png) [iqdb]
// You see, this is why I like to write my posts while on a forty-minute bus ride from school. I can think about it quite a bit more.

[1] No thanks, shadow girl. You're taking it like a man!


You decide to hang on. You're not a pansy, you tell yourself. As the wind blew with even more force than before, you fire some more shots at the shadow girl. Light-headedness aside, you try to stay in one piece, jumping from side to side to dodge the giant spheres. Soon, you could hear the shriek of someone nearby. Only the silence remained by that point, as the shadow girl's spheres seemed to fly at you faster and faster. Firing even more shots doesn't help, as they just seem to disappear whenever they get close to 'shadow girl'. Eventually, though... you just can't keep up with how fast it's going, and a chain reaction of spheres hitting you at a very fast pace throws you sky-high. What goes up must come back down, as they say, and you start to descend uncontrollably. The last thing you see is yourself falling toward the ground head first.


As you wake up, you can hear the birds tweeting and the sound of cars exiting driveways early. You open your eyes, and there's Mima, leaning above you... a little too close. "Ahh!" You shout, startled. She backs away at this, and laughs for a moment. "You scared?" "A little." "Well..." She's leaning to the side now. "Anyway, was there any dreams?" "Yeah. There was this... shadowy girl, she had a glowing black sword, and she pretty much killed me and the two others present." She looks like she's thinking about the dream that you had, when you and her both can faintly hear the sounds of... nothing that you've ever heard before. You get up as Mima begins to walk over to check it out, you soon end up following her in. When you first get a chance to see what the sound was, you notice that there's now a hole in the floor of the house, a red and black blur taking its place. "What do you say, should we go in?" "We may as well." You scratch your head after a few moments, waiting for Mima to head in. "You first." The green-haired girl in the blue dress offers, and you soon decide to take said offer.

When you look back up, the only thing that you can see is the dark red blur that you saw before you jumped. You feel like you're dropping at a great height, but the sole dark red blur seemed to not move at all. Looking up to your top-right, you see Mima, giving you a chance to actually see where you're going. More interestingly, you see a wispy tail where her legs were before. The tail reminded you of a stereotypical ghost. She looks around, noticing you. You turn toward her.

[_] "What's with the tail?"
[_] "So, you know where we are?"
[_] Don't say anything.
[_] Don't say anything, and look back at the blur.

// I'm trying to make the story a lot less rigid from here on out... although I'll probably fail at it, alright?
>> No. 198578
[X] "So, you know where we are?"
>> No. 198579
[X] "So, you know where we are?"
>> No. 198581
File 151691586638.jpg - (7.02KB, 250x292, fire-on-the-horizon.jpg) [iqdb]
[2] "So, you know where we are?"

You looked at the blur for a moment. Said blur reminded you of your virtual travels on the highway when you were only a child. You looked back at Mima. "So... do you know where we are?" Mima took what felt like forever to reply. When she did, the response was rather terse. "Negative." Looking below, you could see a far-away clump of... something of a red-orange color. Hopefully it wasn't magma or other such things, you thought. Mima would soon be looking toward you for a moment. Briefly acknowledging this, you looked at her shortly, before looking back down at the magma, which was rapidly coming into more and more of your view. You closed your eyes and hoped that this wouldn't be the end...

...but, thankfully, it wasn't. When you opened your eyes again, you had landed upright without any injuries whatsoever. You could see fires burning bright in the far distance, a castle or other similar structure closer but still far away, and a section of land that looked like an abandoned neighborhood close by. Looking at the ground, it seemed gray and drab, as if someone had washed all of the color out of it. Not soon after, you could hear the sound of the portal that put you and her in this place close. "Well, seems as if we're stuck here for now." You mutter. "No, duh..." She walked around the area, observing her surroundings.

"Well, where do you think we should go?" A quiet voice asked.

[_] To the big castle in the distance
[_] To the abandoned neighborhood nearby
>> No. 198582
[x] To the big castle in the distance
>> No. 198588
[X] To the big castle in the distance

It's good to see you being a bit more descriptive in your writing.
>> No. 198593
Vote closed. Will write post #17 soon - no ETA yet.
>> No. 198599
[2] To the big castle in the distance


"How about the castle?" You suggest, Mima visibly waiting. She brushes her hand through her hair. "Suppose that's as good a place as any..." Without as much as another word, you begin walking toward the faraway castle. As you keep walking, the fires in the distance seem to get stronger and stronger, and the world seems to fade to gray for short periods of time, including you and Mima. Looking around, you notice that Mima seems to be floating just a few inches off of the ground, now sporting a wispy tail where her legs once were.

After long enough, you and Mima arrive at the large castle. The doors are already opened, its hinges already wrecked, as if there was a mad dash for the exit. Stepping inside, the undergrowth of disuse can be easily seen. On one wall, there is a picture of a white-haired girl with a crown atop her head. On another wall, there is a wanted poster. Looking closer, the face on the poster is Mima herself. 'Wanted Dead or Alive', so the poster says. Stepping back, you look around. Mima, on the other hand, is looking around in different places. You're not sure what she's looking for.

Suddenly, you can hear shouting from a distant room. You and Mima look back and forth. In the corner of your eye, you see some kind of blade with a red handle laying on the floor. You and Mima start opening doors, in search of the shouting. Not long after, as Mima opens another door, she is thrown back against the hallway's wall, another blade with a red handle now protruding into Mima's chest. Running toward the door that Mima was attacked from, you hear a monotone chant. "FOR SHINKI. FOR GLORY." The girl chants. Looking at her, she's wearing a red dress and is holding those same red-handle blades that you saw hit Mima and that you saw on the ground earlier. With red pupils in her eyes, something seems odd, as if this wasn't normal - even though you've never met this girl before.

What now?

[_] __________________ (Fill-In)
>> No. 198604
[X] Grab Mima. GTFO
>> No. 198652
Voting closed. Post #18 in the works.
>> No. 198656
[1] Grab Mima and GTFO...

Your reaction time is awfully quick. You grab Mima, soon making a mad dash for the exits. Mima herself is much lighter than you expected, but you have no time to think it over, being chased by that red-clothed maid and all. Dodging more daggers, you ran outside, then moved around pillars that extend far above. As you think over what kind of reason this girl would have to just attack you on sight, you make a left. No answer comes to your head. Running past city blocks, you turn plenty of times in an attempt to lose the maid, but they all fail.

All seems lost... until you find a sign for an exit. Eager to leave this place of craziness, you run toward the exit, dodging more and more attacks. One or two do hit your arm, and it does start bleeding, but it didn't cause an instant knockout like it did to Mima. With further resolve, you reach a series of gates. However, they seem blocked off, noted with a sign. "GONE. Moved to another region ~ Shinki", or so the sign reads. However, out of the corner of your eye, you can see a black and red garden that seems to go on for miles. But, with little other options, and with the maid-like girl quickly approaching with her blades... what do you do?

---- (Shifting POVs... hold it!) ----

It had been gray for the past week or so now. By this point, the shrine maiden would have resolved it...? You are Hatate Himekaidou, and there was nobody around for days. Even after searching with your projection powers, there was nobody in the nearby areas, as you've already checked most of the mountain. The shrine looked abandoned, and there were no kappa in sight. It also appears that whenever you did not have them active or if you put your projections a long distance from your own location, whatever is causing the gray to sweep over Gensokyo seems to hurt you, and it gets worse the longer these conditions are met. With your projections active, where should you go?


> [_] Try to outrun the maid.
--> [_] Head through the garden.
--> [_] Use other methods.
-----> [_] Which ones? (write-in)
> [_] Perhaps you could use her own attacks against her?


> [_] Scarlet Devil Mansion.
> [_] Forest of Magic.
> [_] Somewhere else.
--> [_] Where? (write-in)

>> No. 198663
> [_] Try to outrun the maid.
--> [_] Use other methods.
[_]Through a window

> [_] Scarlet Devil Mansion.
>> No. 198757

[1] Try to run by going through windows.

Deciding not to go through the apparent trap, you start running toward the windows, soon jumping through them. While some of them were closed, and broke from force of impact, most were left wide open for whatever reason. Regardless, you jump through them, both in an attempt to outrun the maid and in an attempt to find something to defend yourself with. You are faced with the dilemma on whether to keep running while holding Mima or to leave her behind. You quickly choose the latter as you pick up a sword and a shield. The sword isn't much help here. The shield, on the other hand...

Blades head your way, and you duck to avoid them. This continues for a little while, before there is an unusual lack of attacks. Then, a scream. "Aaaaa-" You had no doubt who this scream came from, but you wished that it wasn't who you presumed it was. You carry on, little comfort provided by the silence. The attacks resume, and you try to shield these attacks. It holds together, for now. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a strange object in the sky. It is a strange portal-shaped object, with sparks flying, and bright yellow lines go throughout it, as if it was lightning or something else electrical.

(Will continue in next post, no vote this post.)



[1] Scarlet Devil Mansion

You decide that the Scarlet Mansion may be of use. You fly over there, noticing something very alarming when you start flying over Misty Lake and the Forest of Magic - the fairies are gone. Every single one of them that used to fly all over here are gone, even Cirno. Descending at the gates of the mansion, you find Meiling standing there, as she would have on any other day. "The fai-" "Yes, I've seen that. Lady Remilia just went up and vanished when this whole colorless thing started happening, Lady Flandre vanished too, and Miss Sakuya just walked out of here earlier today muttering something about 'the maid before her' or something like that. Thankfully, Patchouli is still here, I'll take you to her." You just nod, and follow Meiling to the Voile library.

When you get there, you find Patchouli waiting near the door. "Ah, so there are others still alive..." You hear her say, coughing much more than usual. "So, I heard there was something that you wanted to discuss with me?"

[_] Discuss the situation on the mountain and the forest.
[_] Discuss the 'lack of color'.
[_] Ask what happened with the rest of the mansion...
>> No. 198758
[X] Discuss the 'lack of color'.

Kinda thinking this is the cause of everything
>> No. 198759
[x] Ask what happened with the rest of the mansion...
>> No. 198760
[x] Discuss the 'lack of color'.

Not really my thing, but have a vote anyway wink wink
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