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“Oh, I never said anything about spellcards, dearie.” You let that sentence hang in the air for that maximum ominous effect. Ooh yeah, you’re just basking in that silence.
From the look on her face, Reimu doesn’t quite get it. She just does that stupid stare until she pieces everything together like a puzzle—a fifty-thousand piece puzzle, maybe. “You mean...”
“We could do shogi—I’m real good at shogi you see. We could do, uh, a little dance contest, maybe some bed wrestlin’ or—”
“I’m a shrine maiden,” she says.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff. Or we could—”
A gust of wind passes through the shrine and you’re gone, up close and reaaaal personal behind the shrine maiden’s back.
“Got ya,” you whisper into the shrine maiden’s ear, before swiping at her neck. She dodges, if barely, by ducking and stumbling away. You could’ve went faster but what good would be a dead shrine maiden, right? “Damn. I would’ve gotten you if I didn’t open my big mouth there. Good instincts though! You ducked like your life depended on it!”
Reimu opens her mouth but the dummy forgot that she was holding her breath. She wobbles over to the table, resting a hand on top as she does a big ol’ exhale. But she’s quick on the recovery, that shrine maiden. “Yeah, well, I’m not too bad at the whole miko business. Got a real knack for it.”
“Sure you do,” says Tewi.
“Do you only open your mouth just to mock me, you dumb rabbit?”
“No. Sometimes I laugh at you, too!”
“Are you asking to be exterminated? Because that’s what it sounds like.”
“In any case,” you say. “I think we’re done here. The match is over—I hope you’re humbled, shrine maiden.”
“Not like I can outdo a god without spellcards,” she grumbles. “That’s just unfair.”
“But hey, if it’s any consolation, you did pretty well just by yourself!”
Reimu’s dumb gaze sobers to something more wary. “Just what do you mean by that?”
“What I mean is that you did pretty well… without your god, that is.”
Man, you thought that Reimu looked especially pale when you went for her neck, but she’s on a whole ‘nother level after you said that. Real marble statue-like, the girl is. You guess that she was playing kinda reserved before because she’s now anything but.
“Y-You—I, gah… how?” Reimu pauses, presumably to find some vocab. “How did you find out?”
“More like how did anyone else not find out? I don’t sense a lick of that old fool here. Spill the beans, miko.”
“Fine,” she says. “God’s been weak since I’ve inherited the shrine. Doesn’t really help that faith’s been waning. So, with all that combined, one day, God just… disappeared. I mean, nobody except me even noticed. Everybody just assumes the obvious—that I have a god because I’m a shrine maiden.”
“Uh-huh,” you say.
Reimu swings her gohei around at you and the rabbit. “I’m trusting you two not to tell anybody—or else.”
“You’re really threatening a god? One that just totally showed you that he could slice you up like a watermelon?”
“I was thinking that if I got serious, you’d be intimidated… or something like that.” Embarrassed, Reimu directs her frustrations to Tewi. “And as for you, rabbit—actually, why are you even here?”
“Funny story, that,” says Tewi. “I’m his ‘shrine maiden,’ term obviously used loosely.”
“And since you don’t really have a god anymore, that makes me more of a shrine maiden than you, right?”
“What.” Reimu scrambles over the table and paces back and around all quick-like, muttering to herself. “Oh, man. This is the worst. A bunny’s more of a miko than me. How do I even fix this?”
“It’s pretty obvious.” Tewi says. “Just find yourself a god again.”
“Oh, well duh. Of course. Let me just go and pick one up at the market.” Reimu scoffs. “Just where am I going to find a god that’ll—huh.” Reimu does a hurried scoot to you until her eyeballs are up in your grill. “Waaaaait a second.”
You point to yourself. “Who? Me? Shucks, I don’t think I’m cut out for this. It’s been so long since I’ve been a god. What if I’m rusty? I’m sure there are better fish in the god-sea than me! But I mean, if you insist. If you reaaally insist. Since you’ve asked so nicely, I’ll do you a solid and do some part-time for your shrine.”
“Enough with the farce, Hakurou,” says Tewi. “Just god yourself already.”
“Fine, fine. Now, Reimu.” You let a smile creep up your face. “All you gotta do is one small thing for me.”