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192274No. 192274
This is not going to be a serious quest but goddammit it's November and I should try to write something daily, contest or no.

LET'S SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR THIS TO CRASH AND BURN.

**********

It's really quite a surprise when you wake up again, considering your thoughts on the afterlife.

It's an even bigger surprise that you're firmly within nature's terrible grasp inside a forest, full of BIRDS and GRASS and SUNLIGHT, considering you were riding through an underground railroad when you got disemboweled.

If you were less reserved with your words, everything within a mile would hear you hollering something along the lines of 'choke on it, Death, NEO WINS AGAIN!'

Or maybe not, because when someone's all noisy in nature, that someone tends to get eaten by Grimm.

In any case, you pick yourself up, check yourself over, and scowl deeply, because your clothes are sporting a nice big cut across your stomach. On the one hand, you suppose you should be grateful torn clothing is the only sign anything happened to you at all, when by all rights your guts should be spilling out of the gaping hole that isn't there now but definitely was the last time you were conscious. On the other hand, that skull-faced bitch is in for a good shanking next time you see her.

Assuming, again, that this isn't the afterlife or some branch division thereof.

In that case you'll just have to wait.

But first! You grab your umbrella (conveniently deposited nearby), give it a twirl, and set off on a course for adventure-

CHOMP

You blink.

CHOMP

You look over your shoulder.

Then you look down from there, because that's where the next CHOMP comes from.

There is a small, red-ribboned blonde in a black and white dress biting the back of your leg. She's accomplishing nothing because of your Aura, of course, but still.

“Whuzzis?” she mumbles up at you through a mouthful of pants, experimentally working her jaw open and shut and failing to do more than get saliva all over you, the disgusting little gremlin. “Y'ain't tastin' like what I thought y'would.”

You blink again.

“Ice cream,” she clarifies. “Cuzza the hair.”
____________

[X] YOU FILTHY PLEBIAN I'LL KILL YOU WARS HAVE BEEN STARTED OVER LESS

[X] *unsheathes umbrella sword*

[X] How in the hell did you even get this close? Are you some kind of idiot ninja?

[X] Write-in?

(yes, options one and two are different varieties of angry)
No. 192278
[X] What flavor is blonde?
No. 192280
[x] *teleports behind u* nothing personnel kid
No. 192289
[X] What flavor is blonde ?
- [X] Do they even have ice cream in the afterlife ?
- [X] And could you PLEASE let go of my leg ? *unsheathes umbrella sword*
No. 192290
[X] *unsheathes umbrella sword*

Calm anger seems more like Neo's style.
No. 192291
[x] What flavor is blonde?
No. 192298
[X] What flavor is blonde ?
- [X] Do they even have ice cream in the afterlife ?
- [X] And could you PLEASE let go of my leg ? *unsheathes umbrella sword*

For this story I'm just going to assume Japanese is the native language of Remnant. And that they use the English alphabet.

Basic overview of RWBY
>Humanity lives on the planet Remnant
>Grimm are mobs that are attracted to negative emotions
>Huntsmen are humans that fight Grimm
>Aura is a personal forcefield made from soul energy that can heal wounds and grant superhuman strength
>Dust are elemental crystals
>A Semblance is a huntsman's unique power
>Every living thing has Aura, except for the Grimm
>Faunus are humans with animal parts
>Ruby is best girl

You are now roughly up to speed with RWBY.
No. 192300
File 147839125594.png - (491.51KB, 1280x960, Rumia must be related.png) [iqdb]
192300
[X] "What flavor is blonde?"
-[X] Unsheathe your umbrella sword.

Hooray! Rumia gets more love!

Although, her way of talking is more like a certain type of person.
No. 192305
[X] *unsheathes umbrella sword*
- [X] Contemplate what blonde might taste like. Probably banana. Maybe lemon?

Fun fact; Neo is mute. Or at least she hasn't had a single speaking line at all. So we're unlikely to blind people by our sharp wit.

Unless we hang out with Satori. We should totally do that.
No. 192310
File 147841283522.jpg - (537.10KB, 678x1348, well isn't she cheerful.jpg) [iqdb]
192310
Her words actually give you something very interesting to think about! If you had a taste it'd be neopolitan, of course, but what flavor is blonde? Lemon? Banana? Probably banana. Do they even have ice-cream in the afterlife? Depends on the specific denomination you're currently in, you'd bet; probably not a nice one, considering the first thing that happened to you was a cannibal in miniature trying to take a chunk out of your leg, but by the same token, it's also an afterlife that gave you your umbrella and your aura and so on and such forth.

Oh, hell, what if you're in one of those ironic afterlives? Wait, no. That'd involve more people making fun of you while being totally untouchable. That's a thing you do a lot to other people. It'd fit.

“Y'know, I'm wonderin',” says the bitey girl, still trying to get at the promised leg within your pants. “Are ya gonna say anything, or are you just gonna keep bein' real bad at charades? Not that you've done any charades yet, but, see, y'haven't done any yet. So I'm just assuming badness until proven otherwise.”

You shake your leg a little, but this terrible midget menace refuses to get the hint. “Now that's just bein' rude,” she says.

This is about when you lose your patience and tug your sword loose of its umbrella, just slightly. Goldilocks locks her big red eyes right on the little bit of steel gleaming, and then she jerks loose, her smile wide and eyes wider with the epiphany that maybe not chewing on the blade's owner would be a good idea. “Hey, whoa, hey, uh, tryin' to sword a dude ain't great, yanno?”

You smile as you turn to face her properly, and advance on her. She finds it in her sudden best interest to float back.. “Like, okay, swording dudes is a time-honored thing around here, I'll give ya that, but y'don't just draw on someone like this, y'dig? Y'gots to make a big flashy show of things. Here, lemme demonstrate ya.”

She flings her arms wide open, red energy forming in front of her, and you pause to observe, smile widening.

“So yo! Dude! I! Am gonna! Open fire now!”

You cock your head.

“Don't let nobody say I didn't give ya due process!

You know exactly what due process is, and this isn't, but she's clearly an idiot so you can forgive her this mangling of legal terminology. However, this barrage that's coming your way all of a sudden is a bit more pressing, so-

The first bullet connects with your face, and you shatter.

And then you're behind her.

Little Miss Bullet Curtain comes up short, her barrage ceasing as she gawks at the shattered pieces of your doppelganger, before you draw your sword all the way out and press it into the small of her back. She looks over her shoulder, but you're too busy inspecting your fingernails to really pay attention to her expression. (Your hands are gloved; it's more the point of the snub that's important than it actually making sense.)

“...Huh,” says the girl, looking at you over her shoulder with an expression sporting some serious impressedness. She has to twist a bit to get a better look at the sword poking her, and you're kind enough to keep it in position to stick her clean through, just in case. “Huh,” she says again, and then she looks up at you again, sporting the biggest, toothiest grin yet. “Cooooooooooooool.

Now you grace her with eye contact, and a smile to match.

She spins around, sticking her arms way out at her sides for reasons you're not even going to bother speculating on. “So how'd you do that? Huh? That was way neat.”

You point your sword at her neck as a matter of course, but the fact is you're a 'way neat' person in general, as she put it, and it always leaves you aglow to be recognized as such. You deign to pull out your phone, type out a message (one-handed, of course, because a sword needs holding and you still don't trust her), and then proudly display your explanation in front of her face.

She leans in, heedless of the tip of your blade poking her throat, and studies the message. Her eyes flick up to you, her smile firmly in place. “I can't read.”

You blink.

Well, you could just tell her what it says, but you've got a record going for how long you can go without saying a single word, and you're not going to break it here just because a small murderchild wants an explanation.
__________

[X] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such.

[X] Honestly, she's kind of annoying. Bail on this sitch and go find something entertaining to do.

[X] Stab her. Repeatedly.
No. 192311
[X] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such.

Rumia is starting to remind me of that girl from Forest Mix, which is pretty funny considering her usual disposition. Curious to see where this goes.
No. 192312
File 147841625921.jpg - (31.29KB, 500x376, we lack this.jpg) [iqdb]
192312
[X] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such.

I like this Rumia. She's like Christopherson turned Youkai. So let's not go down stabby st. for now.
No. 192313
[X] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such.

The murderchild thinks we're cool. Let's see how long we can maintain that.
No. 192314
[X] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such
No. 192315
[X] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such.

I hope she gets the exact opposite message we are trying to convey, and it spirals like a wingless plane. In the best way, of course.
No. 192317
[X] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such.

When should you not do charades when you [i]can[/] do charades? The answer is never.
No. 192319
[X] Charades

Best option, prepare for humor.
No. 192326
[X] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such.
- [X] Although, your veritable greatness at the art of explaining things without saying anything might be lost on those of lesser mind, like wannabe Grimm in front of you. If such is the case, you're also pretty good at drawing stickmen on the drawing app on your scroll (phone).

I forgot to mention that in RWBY phones are called Scrolls. Dust also stops working when outside of the Atmosphere, but that's okay since Neo doesn't use any.

And the Moon is also half-broken, so when night comes Neo might realize that she's not in Kansas anymore.

Also, I very much like your Rumia. I hope we get to see more of her, midget murderchildren should stick together. Together they're twice as much murder, and about the same height as a fully grown man.
No. 192330
[X] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such.
No. 192331
[x] Honestly, she's kind of annoying. Bail on this sitch and go find something entertaining to do.

We've replaced Rumia with Christie Christoferson, let's see if anybody noti- oh, everyone did.
No. 192332
[x] She said you weren't good at charades. This is a damned lie, and you're going to prove it such.
- [x] Although, your veritable greatness at the art of explaining things without saying anything might be lost on those of lesser mind, like wannabe Grimm in front of you. If such is the case, you're also pretty good at drawing stickmen on the drawing app on your scroll (phone).

I wasn't expecting much from the first post, but this is pretty good. Keep it up, writefriend.
No. 192336
[X] Stab her. Repeatedly.
Somebody has to vote for it
No. 192337
File 147850542654.jpg - (636.63KB, 1191x1684, is she doing this on purpose.jpg) [iqdb]
192337
Right, she wants some answers? You can give her some answers. You've had years of practice at getting your point across without only some inventive gesturing and facial expressions, you're sure you can handle this. Roman would never let you live it down if you couldn't. Even though he isn't here and wouldn't know if you took the easy way out and just talked like a normal person, it's really the principle of the thing.

(He might actually be dead too, but Roman was always good at making an exit when things looked bad, so he's probably fine. You hope.)

Anyway, you have your scroll, which is a bit tricky to operate one-handed, your sword, which currently isn't doing much but menacing this Grimm wannabe, and you've got two (2) dainty hands possessed of very dexterous fingers! Clearly you have to put something down if you're going to properly conduct charades. It's with an airy sigh that you lower your sword from her throat and reinsert it into your umbrella, which you'd stabbed into the ground in order to take out your scroll. Speaking of which, you close that up too and tuck it back where you had it, because clearly it's wasted on the illiterate.

You are now disarmed! This doesn't really bother you, seeing as this Grimm wannabe hasn't made any moves to eat you yet – even if she did, you could just kick her teeth in. You interlace your fingers, stretch them back until the cartilage crack-crack-craaaaaacks satisfyingly, and then waggle all your digits to get them limbered up.

“I dunno what you're doin', but it's making me hungry,” says your audience of one, eyes fixated on your hands. “Can I have a finger?”

You shake your head.

“Okay.”

She's very polite for a monster child.

“So for serious, now what?” she asks, bobbing up and down and up again in a disgustingly adorable fashion. You don't think she's even doing it to deliberately provoke you, which somehow makes it worse. Still, sugary-sweet cannibal monster or no, you're going to get this show going! That's why you indicate, using a variety of wiggly-waggling hand gestures and cheery facial expressions, that you are about to conduct charades.

“Do you have brain damage?” she asks, and you freeze in place. “Is that why you can't talk, lady? I'd feel bad if I ate someone with brain damage, because then maybe I'd get it too, because I'm pretty sure that's how it works, with the eating people and gaining their power and other hinkiness, y'know? Except I don't ever gain any power from people I eat, cuz they're all Outsiders, so instead it's just pretty tasty. Not that I haven't tried to eat people who weren't Outsiders, but I just get shot. A lot. It hurts.”



You are feeling things you have never felt before, at this juncture.

Things like the all-encompassing emotions of 'why' and also 'what' and also also 'no'.

This must be how everyone else feels when you show up.

“Dude?” says the tiny girlchild, which snaps you out of your fugue. She looks generally bemused as you blink away the last bits of those horribly strange feelings that had overwhelmed you. “Did I just reboot your brain? I totally did, didn't I! Wow!” She beams, unconcerned with whatever lasting mental trauma she's saddled you with.

It takes a few shakes of your head to get yourself back in the game, as it were.

Right. Deep breaths.

You can do this.

Charades.
__________

Pick a thing to try and explain!

[X] How you got here! Alternatively, how you died! Because they're one and the same at this point, really.

[X] How you did the cool glass-shattery-teleport-thing!

[X] How you're currently immune to being chewed upon!
No. 192338
[X] How you got here! Alternatively, how you died! Because they're one and the same at this point, really.
[X] How you did the cool glass-shattery-teleport-thing!
No. 192339
[X] How you got here! Alternatively, how you died! Because they're one and the same at this point, really.
No. 192341
[X] How you're currently immune to being chewed upon!
- [X] Granted you aren't permanently immune from being chewed upon, but a) You don't have to tell her that. And b) You think she will get the principle and hopefully find some other poor sod to bother and... Euegh! Bad thoughts! Don't go there.
- [X] How you did the cool glass-shattery-teleport-thing!
- [X] She said "Outsider" earlier, what's more she pronounced it with a capital 'O'. Inquiry (through charades) about your current location.

It's in our best interests to convince Rumia Christoferson that our good looks do not mean good taste.
No. 192347
[x] Your transportation here
[x] Your bite immunity
[x] Your love for umbrellas that are more dangerous than they let on.

Nothing like a little chat filled with subtle and un subtle threats.
No. 192348
[X] How you're currently immune to being chewed upon!
- [X] Granted you aren't permanently immune from being chewed upon, but a) You don't have to tell her that. And b) You think she will get the principle and hopefully find some other poor sod to bother and... Euegh! Bad thoughts! Don't go there.
- [X] How you did the cool glass-shattery-teleport-thing!
- [X] She said "Outsider" earlier, what's more she pronounced it with a capital 'O'. Inquiry (through charades) about your current location.
No. 192357
[X] How you're currently immune to being chewed upon!

Let's focus on one thing, Rumia isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the hallway.
No. 192358
>>192357
Don't be silly. There aren't any lightbulbs in Gensokyo.
No. 192374
>>192357
One could argue that she is the darkest bulb even.

[X] How you're currently immune to being chewed upon!
Seems like a good starting point.
No. 192390
File 147868375274.jpg - (70.26KB, 680x907, she's a violent one.jpg) [iqdb]
192390
There's many, many things that you could tell this diminutive troll, but right now, you're settling on... yes, first off, the thing she's probably curious about the most is how good you are at not getting chewed up. And the answer to that is aura! Now, how to convey the idea of soul-shielding without words, and also without telling her that it can deplete and leave you actually vulnerable, because you don't want her getting any more ideas than she's already got.

Fortunately, this part of your charades is something you can provide an actual demonstration for. You crack a grin as you prepare to blow her mind, making a show of bringing your hand up in front of her face, and flare aura, a pinkish haze enveloping you and tinting your vision the same lovely color – and then she bites you.

You suck in a hiss through your teeth as hers, so very sharp, sink into the meat of your palm. Your attempt to jerk loose is stymied by a jaw like a Beowulf, and the same stubborn bloody-mindedness to match. At least she's not doing any damage, but it still hurts, aura or no, which is why your other hand comes up, poised to slap her... right before she pulls loose, eyebrows drawing tightly together in confusion.

“Huh,” she says, running her tongue over her teeth. “...Y'know, people usually're missing chunks when I get my chompers in 'em. Is that what your glowy stuff is, some kinda magic defense?”

You change modes from 'slap' to 'punch', and smash your fist right into her nose. Her eyes bug out for half a moment on impact, and then she's flying, because aura-bolstered strength is no joke. You watch with vicious satisfaction as she slams into a tree hard enough to leave cracks in the bark – and then she bounces off it, landing on her feet with her eyes crossed, eyelids fluttering rapidly, and a big, stupid grin still on her lips. “Wow! You've got some really cool tricks for an Outsider, lady!”

…Oh, God, you might be in some serious trouble here.

She stumbles ahead, teetering back and forth with every step, until she's right in front of you once again. A few hard shakes of her head clear out the worst effects of your blow, and then she's looking you in the eye with something akin to awe. “That was really neat! But also maybe lay off with the fisty hands now, 'kay?”

You nod, still dumbstruck by this maybe-not-actually-a-wannabe-Grimm. After a moment, you snap out of it, your aura fading so you don't burn through it all just showing off. Which, in a place with people like her, is a pretty big concern, actually. Your curiosity is piqued by her repeated mentions of Outsiders, so you jab a thumb at your chest and then point up at the sky, doing your best to indicate Outsiderness, whatever that means.

She takes a good, long look at where you're pointing. “...Yep, that's the great outdoors, all right.”

You sigh, massaging your eyes.

She giggles, stretching her arms out again. “Okay, for really real absolutely serious, you ain't from around Gensokyo! Unless that one thing you wrote stuff on is a weird kappa gadget or something and you're actually a youkai, but I think I'd have seen ya before if you were, cuz you're pretty good at standing out! So that's why I'm calling ya an Outsider. Means I can eat ya without anyone really getting mad at me about it.”

She's a cannibalistic xenophobe. Amazing.

“Now, hey, I toldja about that, so- what about the teleporty stuff you were showing off? How's that go?”

Your lips draw together as you consider how wise it is to explain your main trick... but then, she's already seen it in action once. So you smile again, confidence oozing out your every pore, and lean closer. She cranes her head sideways to watch as you walk your fingers along one of her outstretched arms, and indicate a pair of hunters, one a deadly, beautiful, and perfectly-sized bombshell, and the other a brainless dolt. The dolt swoops in to attack, thinking he's got the siren right where he wants her - but wait! The moment he strikes, the beauty shatters (here depicted by you splaying out your hand), and reforms behind the idiot instead. He has a moment to look about before he's fatally interrupted by a blade driven straight through his chest-

And then you maybe lose yourself for a bit in miming out the 'stabbing'.

“So that's how it goes!” says the dolt you're actually sharing the same air with (how horrifying), head cocked and smile unwavering. “What, can ya just do that whenever?”

You nod.

“Is that so?” she mutters, more to herself than anything.

And then she slugs you in the jaw.

You shatter and reappear atop her shoulders, one hand planted on your hip, the other resting your umbrella against your shoulder, and look down to give her a smile that's all teeth. She reciprocates, although her smile actually seems genuine. “You're doing me a serious rudeness, y'know that?”

Nothing ruder than what she did to you just now, you indicate with a single elegant quirk of an eyebrow.

“Okay, good point.” She shrugs, but you maintain your footing without issue. “Still not any closer to figurin' out how you did that thing, but I got the why of it down pretty pat. Like, check it; you get shot or sliced or some other way nasty thing, and then you go the way of serious property damage and pop up good as new! Unless I'm totally wrong, in which case you oughta tell me.”

She squints.

“Also you got a rip right in the seat of your pants, there.”

You most certainly do not, and bop her on the ear with your foot for daring to suggest you'd take such poor care of your wardrobe.

The girl grins widely up at you, regardless. “I was maybe messing with ya, yeah. Anyway, yo, I don't mind and all, but my balance might get super weird with you up top like this? Like, I have never had this specific thing happening to me right now ever happen before. I can't really say for sure how it goes, right? So maybe I'll take a step to the right-”

She does so, but you, naturally, don't even teeter a bit – you've balanced on things more precarious than a girl who's doing her level best to hold steady, after all.

“-and you'll be super good at staying balanced, wow!”

You have had a lot of practice! Something you're very grateful for, in fact, as she steps to the left, then to the right, then spins and twirls and hops and dances about, doing her level best to fling you from her shoulders without just out-and-out doing so. You, however, are more than she's bargained for, holding your ground through all with supreme self-assuredness, right up until she comes to a sudden jerking halt.

“Right!” she says, sounding far too eager for your liking. “I think my buddies would love to see this! Hang on!”

You almost lose your balance when she lifts off the ground without any of the motions you generally associate with that kind of thing, but you steady yourself as she just... floats upward. Goodness, you're on a fast track for the treetops- what is this blackness forming around her.

If she notices your alarm at all, she sure doesn't seem to show it- not that you can see through the (already almost pitch-dark) sphere that's enveloped her. You can just faintly make her looking up at you through it, those red eyes glowing clear through the black.

“You okay up there?” she asks, sounding genuinely concerned. “If you fall and break your neck, I ain't taking responsibility for it!”

You nod, then look away, the better for her not to see your smile falter. It's not the first time you've ever met someone like this, working with Roman, but if she's really what you think she is...

Well.

She hasn't tried to eat you more than twice, yet.

So there's that.
__________

[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.

[X] You've about had your fill of small eccentric cannibal children for the moment, thanks, and going to meet more doesn't sound fun at all. Hop off, sail down (thanks, umbrella!), make your escape, and find some folks to properly bother.
No. 192392
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.

Sorry about the sage. You tend to get more votes anyways, and you're only one down; just bad timing on my part.
No. 192393
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.
No. 192395
[x] The idea of her friends dismissing her story of a magical, teleporting, beauty such as yourself, as nothing more than attention-grabbing fantasies fills you with glee.
-[x] Bail out.
No. 192396
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.
- [X] After you've got as much info as you can get from her hopefully not as cannibalistic friends, you're gonna bail for the nearest place with actual people in it faster than Roman can rob an Dust shop.
- [X] This makes your first order of business to find out exactly where the normal people live in this place.

I'm really liking where this quest is going.
No. 192400
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.
No. 192401
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.

Pretty sure this is a bad idea, but now I'm curious.
No. 192402
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.

Flying Air Rumia sounds like something that can't possibly go wrong.
No. 192403
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.
No. 192406
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.
No. 192416
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.
No. 192417
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.
No. 192418
[X] Reservations about your ride aside, you honestly can't say you've ever shown up somewhere perched on a flying girl's shoulders! It'd certainly make an impression to make on her friends, and you do so love to be the center of attention. Maybe you'll learn something useful from them, at that.
- [X] Get ready to shank a bitch if her friends are as bite-happy as her though.

Bit of a long term goal here, but I wonder if we can pull Roman out of whatever hell they stuck him in and make him Mima 1.75, Ginger Edition (now with more mascara!). That would be fun.
No. 192450
>>192274

Seems we have out answer, huh? On the daily front, anywho.
No. 192492
File 147918108280.png - (677.01KB, 900x1440, ever cheerful.png) [iqdb]
192492
>>192450

Hahahahahahahaha this is why I should never promise anything.

*****

Sailing through the skies on someone else's shoulders is a pretty surreal experience, even for what you normally get up to (grand larceny, high treason, petty vandalism, etc.), but it's something you adjust to pretty quickly nonetheless. It helps that yours is a remarkably stable ride, despite her size.

“Hey!” says the girl in question, “I figure I should maybe tell ya my name, cuz that would probably be serious rudeness to not introduce myself if I'm taking you along for a ride like this! So, Rumia! Not very hard to grasp! Hope you like it cuz I ain't changing it any time soon! What about yourself?”

You stare down at her.

She stares right back. “Right! The brain damage, I forgot!”

Your eyelid twitches.

“So taking into account your brain problems and me being an illiterate, I'm not entirely sure how I'm gonna introduce you to anyone else! Ice-cream lady? Is that a good name- no that's not a good name at all, too unwieldy. Outsider person woman?” A noise like she just choked on air slips out her mouth. “...Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. That's just- that's terribad. I'm so sorry you had to hear it.” A pause. “Maybe I'm getting brain damage just through proximity? That's a neat trick you got!”

The most amazing thing about Rumia is how she says all these insulting things in such an innocent way that you can't actually tell if she means it or not. It's truly something special – and if it is deliberate, then you've met a girl who can give you a run for your money when it comes to annoying people.

While you deliberate on whether or not you want to kill her to keep your position secure, you otherwise occupy yourself by looking around. Skimming the treetops like this leaves you with a decent view of things, which also leaves you reconsidering your thoughts on this being an afterlife, considering you're pretty sure most of those don't feature crimson mansions secluded across huge lakes, for example, which you happen to be speeding for right this moment. And that's not getting into the little shapes you spy buzzing around the mountain way off... westwards? It's hard to tell with the sun right now.

Anything lower is, sadly, out of view thanks to you only just clearing the treetops, and you're not going to ask Rumia to take you higher before you're absolutely certain she won't accidentally–

“I see 'em!” she says, listing dangerously forward, and it's only a quick repositioning onto her shoulderblades that saves you from tumbling off.

Case in point.

“Eyes forward, lady!” Rumia shouts, nearly flying horizontal as you clear the treeline and reach the lakeshore. “Cuz that's one heckuva sluggin' match going on!”

Eh? You redirect your attention straight ahead, and– Good lord, the amount of bullets filling the air is almost dizzying. There's dozens of little girls swarming through the air, wings beating madly as they shout and screech and fire upon the largest of their number, blue-haired and blue-dressed and blue-winged all in equal measure, machine-gunning icicles about from outstretched hands as she darts and weaves and–

You twist sideways, narrowly avoiding a stream of icy projectiles flying by your head.

Girl needs to work on her aim.

“So, hey!” says Rumia, tilting fully upright and forcing you to reposition in kind. “That there's one of my buds, like I said!” Her lips purse. “I do not know where I can consistently find anyone else, so I settled for Cirno, because she's always here. Except now she's shooting everyone for some reason? I don't think she ever really needs one.”

Hm.

You idly twirl your umbrella as you consider your options. It might be tricky to have a fight entirely in the air... but you think you could manage.
__________

[X] This seems a good way to test yourself against the locals! And a good way to decompress after dealing with Rumia this entire time too, for that matter.

[X] You've always loved underdog stories... especially when the underdog loses at the end. Time to make sure this fight ends the same way.

[X] Honestly? Sitting this one out and observing doesn't sound half bad. You're sure you could handle it, but it's easier to get a read on how things work when you're not in the thick of a fight.
No. 192493
[X] This seems a good way to test yourself against the locals! And a good way to decompress after dealing with Rumia this entire time too, for that matter.

This can end one of two ways.

Either we win, in which case we're awesome, or we lose, in which case Neo gets knocked down a peg, which is also awesome.
No. 192494
[X] Honestly? Sitting this one out and observing doesn't sound half bad. You're sure you could handle it, but it's easier to get a read on how things work when you're not in the thick of a fight.
No. 192495
[X] Honestly? Sitting this one out and observing doesn't sound half bad. You're sure you could handle it, but it's easier to get a read on how things work when you're not in the thick of a fight.
-[X] Maybe blonde is popcorn.

>>192492

In my book, those that write even after they fall down are equal parts winners. You may not stand in the winners circle, but you learn more of your limits than those that never faltered. I said as such merely as a reminder, not to poke fun.

I'm currently the only one still keeping to daily updates, so I think you're pretty dang neat for having the guts to keep going.

I was so sad when you stopped; I thought I'd never see Yakuzamia again!

...That name sounded better in my head.

Anyways, I can't wait to see where this goes!

No. 192496
[X] Honestly? Sitting this one out and observing doesn't sound half bad. You're sure you could handle it, but it's easier to get a read on how things work when you're not in the thick of a fight.
-[X] Maybe blonde is popcorn.

See how Rumia likes it when the tables are turned! ... okay, at most we're just going to stand there and muse about it for a moment, but even so.
No. 192497
[x] Honestly? Sitting this one out and observing doesn't sound half bad. You're sure you could handle it, but it's easier to get a read on how things work when you're not in the thick of a fight.
-[x] Maybe blonde is popcorn.

Wandbagoning.

Also, I don't care if you're managing daily updates, because you're managing updates, which is 100% more than I have so far this month.
No. 192498
[X] Honestly? Sitting this one out and observing doesn't sound half bad. You're sure you could handle it, but it's easier to get a read on how things work when you're not in the thick of a fight.
-[X] Maybe blonde is popcorn.
No. 192499
[x] Honestly? Sitting this one out and observing doesn't sound half bad. You're sure you could handle it, but it's easier to get a read on how things work when you're not in the thick of a fight.
-[x] Maybe blonde is popcorn.

What would other colors be then? White for vanilla, maybe?
No. 192501
>>192499

Mothballs, maybe?
No. 192761
File 147992572233.png - (419.18KB, 600x692, victorrrrrrryyyyyyyy.png) [iqdb]
192761
Eeeeh... On the one hand, getting stuck in sounds pretty enjoyable, but on the other, with the way Little Girl Blue is tearing through her attackers, you've got little reason to actually jump on in at the moment. Instead, you turn your brainpower back to the question of flavors, specifically Rumia's – popcorn! Popcorn's a good one. Add on banana and lemon and- okay, this is a question that bears serious thinking, because there's got to be more flavors than that.

Yellow-themed, yellow-themed, hmm... Sunflowers! Sunflowers. Technically only their seeds are edible, but they become something pretty yellow, don't they? So sunflowers count too, kinda. And sunflowers are often visited by bees! Which leads to honey! You are on a roll right now!

In fact, you've got to share this with your ride. You pull out your scroll again (one-handed, of course) and sort through your apps until you come across that little doodle thing you got just so you could draw insulting pictures of your co-workers (chumps and suckers, all of them – except for Roman, that prancy fop, but he's less a co-worker and more- well, it's complicated, but he gets a pass).

Now some people might need both hands to doodle things out, but you! You... also need both hands actually, which is why you switch to gripping your umbrella by the top, then reach down to poke the handle into one of Rumia's outstretched hands.

“Eh?” She looks at it, then at you, then at it again, and then goes, “Aha! I get it!” and takes it from you, which leaves your hands free to commence with drawing, and also strangling her in case she drops your umbrella.

You first put to digital paper your absolutely adorable face, then, below it, Rumia's toothy mug. Next come flavors – you sketch out all the things associated with Rumia thus far (lemon, banana, popcorn, honey, also sunflowers because why not), then things associated with you (strawberry and chocolate and vanilla too, because you can't have a good neopolitan mix of ice cream without it).

It takes a minute or two to get everything down, but your art, once it is finished, is magnificent! ...or as magnificent as you can manage literally finger-painting, anyway. But this would at the very least take first place in any preschool art exhibit across Remnant, and not just because the judges would fear a stabbing if they voted for an obviously inferior submission.

You lean down and show it to Rumia, who squints. “...This is a pretty good list of things I hadn't really thought of about myself, but one thing sticks way out, and that's if I tasted like sunflowers I'd maybe be like that Yuuka lady, except she can fire off giant death lasers and I can only fire off regular death lasers, so I don't think it fits, so you can probably scratch that one.”

How she says these things all in one breath is something spectacular, you have to admit. Still... Giant death lasers? Regular death lasers? The closest you ever got to something like that was that one time with the death ray, but it turns out packing a load of volatile Dust into an oversized raygun ends about as well as you'd expect. There was no getting the soot out of that outfit, once everything had settled. Your sole consolation is that Roman got caught in that blast, too-

“You look like you're remembering something really embarrassing,” says Rumia, and you abruptly straighten up and look away... not that this stops her from talking. “Also your list of your flavors is pretty off, because all I got out of you was pants. You're pants-flavored, dude. It's not good.”

If you weren't currently perched on her shoulders like a most fabulous bird of prey, you'd very seriously consider lacerating this girl. Instead, doodles shown off, you turn your attention back to the fight- that just finished winding down when little girl blue (Cirno, you think Rumia called her) smashes an ice cube the size of her head over another girl's head, causing the latter to-

You blink, then squint, because you're not sure you're seeing things right; if you were, that other girl just exploded. Into dust.

That's... exceptionally weird.

It'd explain what happened to everyone else while you were distracted, at least, because the swarm of angry flying girls has been reduced to just Cirno, who immediately thrusts her arms skywards, hollering victoriously as she spins around and around and – oh, wait, now she's looking your way.

“Oi!” she shouts, folding her arms and buzzing on over, icy wings beating hard (despite the fact they're not actually connected to her body at all, a detail you missed when the fight was going on). “Rumiaaaaa! Why're you giving a human a riiiiiide? Also why do you have an umbrella?”

“Because!” Rumia shouts back.

Cirno skids to a stop a few feet away, her mouth slightly open, eyebrows drawing together as she narrows her eyes at Rumia. “...Are you gonna gimme a reason or-”

“I just did!” Rumia cheerily says.

“Right.” Cirno's head swivels to you. “Hey, why're you flying Air Rumia?”

“She has brain damage!” Rumia says before you can do anything.

Cirno frowns solemnly. “I'm so sorry.”

You smile, your true feelings betrayed only by a singular twitch of an eyelid.

“So!” says Rumia again, slowly bobbing from side to side, making your footing more precarious than it really needs to be. “What was up with the fight?”

Cirno shrugs. “Eh, you know how it is.”

“If I did, I wouldn't be asking!”

The Ice Queen gives Rumia a mighty deep squint. “It's funny you're saying this when your only answer to my question was 'because'.”

“Eh, it's different.”

How.

Rumia's smile is utterly free of guile. “Because I'm asking.”

Cirno makes a sound like “Nghh...” Her lip curls down, nostrils flare, and she opens her mouth to deliver some kind of tirade- and then you clap your hands together, giving both her and Rumia quite the start. “What?” she snaps, glowering at you. “If you've got something to say, get on with it, you weirdo!”

You're graciously going to refrain from kicking her face off for that, mostly because you still have your scroll out. While you have low hopes, you still type out a very brief greeting before you show it to Cirno.

She cocks an eyebrow. “Why aren't you talking if you can write words?” Her gaze swivels to Rumia. “I thought you said she had brain problems?”

Rumia sniffs. “I still hold by that.”

“Yahuh.” Cirno looks back your way, sporting a more thoughtful frown than her previous scowl. “Also hi back atcha, I guess, Neo. Weird name, if you ask me, but then, you've got weird Outsider stuff too, so I guess it's just something I oughta expect.”

“Isn't she pretty cool, Cirno?” Rumia asks, waggling your umbrella around.

“She looks like a dandy going to an ice-cream social.” Cirno huffs, frown deepening. “You hear me, lady? You're a dandy. I don't know how you got Rumia to let you tag along like this.”

Your smile widens.
__________

[X] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.

[X] You wonder how she'd feel to suddenly have you on her shoulders, instead. Maybe that'd shut her up.

[X] Put your championship drawing skills to good use and explain just what went down leading up to this meeting, because for once, you're going to try to be diplomatic.
No. 192762
[X] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.

Reasons being...
1. Neo is a bad person
2. Diplomancy? Whuzzat?
No. 192763
[X] Put your championship drawing skills to good use and explain just what went down leading up to this meeting, because for once, you're going to try to be diplomatic.
-[X] But what flavor is blue? Blueberry is the obvious choice, what with its name containing the very word in question, but...
--[X] Actually, maybe Rumia can check.

I may have a problem.
No. 192764
[X] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.

Only Rumia gets away with trash talk.
No. 192767
[X] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.

I think we've used enough diplomacy for a whole week, at least. It's time to get back to the old-fashioned way.
No. 192769
[X] You wonder how she'd feel to suddenly have you on her shoulders, instead. Maybe that'd shut her up.

Shenanigans first, and then we fight.
No. 192770
[X] You wonder how she'd feel to suddenly have you on her shoulders, instead. Maybe that'd shut her up.

Poetic justice.
No. 192771
[X] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.

She's a fairy, it'll grow back.
No. 192774
[X] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.
This seems like a good way to introduce Neo to Gensokyo's Totally-Not-Bullshit power levels.
No. 192778
[X] You wonder how she'd feel to suddenly have you on her shoulders, instead. Maybe that'd shut her up.
No. 192781
[X] You wonder how she'd feel to suddenly have you on her shoulders, instead. Maybe that'd shut her up.
No. 192783
[X] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.
No. 192784
[X] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.

Rumia gets a pass because...because. We'll figure something out for her later. La Blue Girl on the other hand is apparently smart enough to know better and just chooses not to.
No. 192785
[x] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.

There has been a shameful lack of Neo-induced violence recently. Let's fix that.
No. 192838
[X] You wonder how she'd feel to suddenly have you on her shoulders, instead. Maybe that'd shut her up.
No. 192859
[X] Face, meet heel. Spiky end of heel, meet face.
Violence is the question and the answer is yes.
No. 192876
File 148028505185.jpg - (0.98MB, 1280x1280, ta-daaaaaaaaah.jpg) [iqdb]
192876
The truth is, you are a dandy (how could anyone so fashionable not be?), but the way Cirno says it – the way this somehow makes you lesser in her eyes - is something that you're not going to abide.

...What flavor would she count as, anyway? Blueberry? Blueberries are the only blue food you can really think of. Maybe Rumia can take a bite out of her to figure it out.

“You deaf as well as dumb, lady?” Cirno asks, still scowling. She blinks after a moment, then holds up a finger, eyebrows knitting together in thought. “I meant dumb as in mute, not dumb as in, well, dumb. To clarify. Even if I'm startin' to suspect you fit both.”

Oooh, you're going to enjoy this.

But, as Rumia put it, you don't just kick someone in the face out of nowhere around here, which is why you nudge Rumia's head with your shoe and beckon for your umbrella once she looks up. “I can see by the smile on your face you are maybe considering a serious homicide, dude,” she says, passing the umbrella to you anyway.

You take your homicides very seriously, it's true. But there has to be style and panache to it, or else what's even the point? This is why you turn your smile fully on Cirno, twirling your umbrella against your shoulder as you eye her up – and she reels back, eyes very wide indeed as she levels a shaking finger at your nose. “Oh no, no no no, I know that look! I've seen that look before! You're spinning an umbrella around and everything! Nuts to this and nuts to you!

A sword of ice flashes into existence in her hands, and then she charges, swinging-

“Blue on blue!” Rumia cries, jerking back in alarm as Cirno's sword nearly takes her head off. “Blue on blue!”

Cirno pauses, expression firmly in the realm of disgruntled. “I don't know what that means!”

“It means friendly fire!”

“I don't do fire! I do ice!”

“It means stop trying to sword me!

“I was trying to sword her!” Cirno points her blade at you. “And technically speaking I'm pretty sure it'd be blue on black if I hit ya!”

“Oh, yeah, sure, right, you were trying to hit her when you nearly scooped out my eyeballs!” Rumia snaps back. “And secondly, it's blue on blue when you hit someone friendly, no matter their actual colors!”

Cirno throws up her arms in exasperation. “You can't even read! Where do you keep learning these phrases?!”

Their argument is cut off when you leap from Rumia's shoulders, tossing your umbrella up into the air, and kick a distracted Cirno right in the face, heel driving deep into her forehead – right as your other foot slams into her chest, which you use as the perfect platform to kick off from, sending her sailing off in an arc as you flip backwards. You catch your umbrella as you pirouette through the air, then land atop Rumia's shoulders once more, arms outstretched in a grand 'ta-dah!' gesture for an invisible audience.

“Wow!” says Rumia, clapping appreciatively at this display. “I was totally expecting you to take a dunking!”

Cirno, meanwhile, catches herself, and immediately buzzes a zig-zagging path back to you. She comes up short, bright dust drifting out of the thin hole in her forehead, eyelids fluttering as she struggles to keep them open. “I- I'm gonna- ooh, I don't feel so good,” she says, her words coming out slow and thick as she sways, unsteady in the air. A hand goes up, pressing against her injury, and it comes away coated in dust. She stares at it uncomprehendingly for a few moments before the sight registers. “I'm... leaking? I'm leaking. Ow.”

“So you are!” says Rumia, watching this frankly kind of pathetic display with a curious expression indeed, before switching her focus to you. “And you've invented a new and exciting way of giving people brain damage, lady. Be proud.”

You'd give her some brain damage, but you're pretty sure she already has plenty to go around.

“Oi! Don't you- don't ignore me!” Cirno slurs, holding her sword up in a trembling grip, eyes not altogether focused as she glowers at you. “I'mma- I'm gonna whup you real good, you- you- you amateur lobotomizer! Have at you!

She swings wildly, her sword carving through the air to your right. You cock an eyebrow as she spins around and around, growling curses beneath her breath. Once she rights herself, she swings at you again... and misses just as badly.

This is just sad.
__________

[X] Cirno is in no condition to fight back. Naturally, this means you're just going to kick her in the face again, as is your right.

[X] Pull out your scroll and start recording, because of course you're going to save this for posterity.

[X] She's like a puppy. A small, yappy, icy puppy with severe mental defects. It's enough to make you want to give her a hug, so you will. If it infuriates her, all the better!
No. 192877
[X] She's like a puppy. A small, yappy, icy puppy with severe mental defects. It's enough to make you want to give her a hug, so you will. If it infuriates her, all the better!

Also, Cirno hugs are probably cool and refreshing.
No. 192878
[X] Try to communicate to Rumia to try her hair. This is going to bother you if you don't find out, and you're hardly about to lick someone yourself.
No. 192880
>>192878
I vote this, AND to record it for posterity.
No. 192881
File 148028844542.gif - (2.69MB, 640x360, Smokin' Sick Style.gif) [iqdb]
192881
[X] Pull out your scroll and start recording, because of course you're going to save this for posterity.
- [X] Finish her! Throw your sword like a spear, and when Cirno goes pichu~n catch it in your umbrella sheath Future Trunks style.
- [X] Let Rumia record you doing this.

We gotta get them style points. For Monty.
No. 192882
[X] Pull out your scroll and start recording, because of course you're going to save this for posterity.

Cirno hugs are a little too chilly, thanks.
No. 192883
[X] Cirno is in no condition to fight back. Naturally, this means you're just going to kick her in the face again, as is your right.

It's time for physical therapy. Ours of course, as beating the weak is very therapeutic.
No. 192884
[x] Pull out your scroll and start recording, because of course you're going to save this for posterity.

So did we give Cirno Yuuka flashbacks or Yukari flashbacks, there? I feel kinda bad for putting a hole in her head, but eh, Neo wouldn't.
No. 192885
[X] She's like a puppy. A small, yappy, icy puppy with severe mental defects. It's enough to make you want to give her a hug, so you will. If it infuriates her, all the better!

Have a heart
No. 192892
[X] She's like a puppy. A small, yappy, icy puppy with severe mental defects. It's enough to make you want to give her a hug, so you will. If it infuriates her, all the better!
No. 192893
>>192880
Seconded.
No. 192896
[X] She's like a puppy. A small, yappy, icy puppy with severe mental defects. It's enough to make you want to give her a hug, so you will. If it infuriates her, all the better!
No. 192904
>>192893

Thirded.

I have to say OP, I'm really liking your Rumia so far.
No. 192908
>>192904
Fourther...ed? Fourthed. I AM ALSO IN AGREEMENT.


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