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188421 No. 188421
You shift slightly downward as the Judge of the Deceased continues her stern stare down. Sitting down behind a desk larger than her small stature, the green-haired Yama is garbed in an outfit you don’t know the name of, and an admittedly awesome hat-slash-crown, and carrying what looks like a plank of wood.

For the nth time since you’ve found yourself in here, it occurs to you that the Judge of the Deceased looks oddly cuter than you would’ve expected—which was something of a red giant, with horns, and angry eyes. You’re not complaining, of course, but it’s simply jarring. Nevermind the fact that the afterlife is apparently based on Japanese Mythology despite your ethnicity.

Still, despite all of her adorableness, the blob of ectoplasm that is you cannot help but quiver under her stare. Judging. Calculating. Intense. Cutting through layers after layers of your roundy blobbiness, indiscriminate to all… if you could, you would be blushing right now. You couldn’t, so thank God for that.

“Normally,” she says suddenly, flinching you out of your thoughts. Her lips purse, and looks down at the papers strewn on her desk. “Normally,” she starts again. “I would not be the one on duty to judge your soul, but since the one responsible to do so is apparently on vacation, it befalls to me to decide where you should go from here.” She pauses, humming. “So tell me honestly; who are you, and how did you die?”

You wobble left and right at her question. A part of you wants to say ‘no’ for shits and giggles, but you’re not that suicidal. Yet. Humming in thought, you speak for the first time since your death:

[] “It was a noodle incident. There was a party for my friend’s birthday. I loved to cook, see? So I baked him some cookies, and some pastas. And, uh, I sorta slipped. Got spilled boiled water all over my face, and a very large pan.”

[] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”

[] “It was from a fatal wound. Some military covert operation—I don’t even know the details. Things happened, and I got a hole over my guts. The rest are… well, history.”

[] “It was, uhm. Uh… a shitty accident. And, uh, I got a weird fetish? Like to hang myself? And, uh, I kinda… well, you know.”

[] Write-in

-x-

A/N: So, I'm pretty unsure the direction of where this will go. So there's that, I s'ppose. Oh, and I'm new. Huzzah.

Oh, and just to make things easier...

[] What's your name?
No. 188422
[X] "Ah, well, me and the guys were having this uh... party at an old oil tanker, right? And then, uhm, some idiot decided to light a bonfire. I, uh, well... you know how that goes."

[X] Charlie Darwin
No. 188423
[X]Aspirine overdose, cluster headaches are a hellish condition to live with.

[X]Richard Houston
No. 188425
[x] Traffic accident on an oil rig. Some jackass who hadn't bathed in a month ran me over with a jeep.

Guess we can be Hell's traffic-accident-victim.
No. 188427
[X] “It was a noodle incident. There was a party for my friend’s birthday. I loved to cook, see? So I baked him some cookies, and some pastas. And, uh, I sorta slipped. Got spilled boiled water all over my face, and a very large pan.”

[X] Perseus Hearn
No. 188428
[X] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”
No. 188431
[X] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”
No. 188432
[] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”

Because I can't think of anything better right now.

[X]Shiki Eiki
[X] Ardel Stone
No. 188433
[X] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”

[X]Nobody

Yay old story references!
Yay new writers!
Yay THP having active stories!
Yay goes in all fields!
No. 188434
[] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”

Trucks Hate our People
No. 188435
[X] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”

[X]Richard Houston
No. 188436
[X] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”
[X] Perseus Hearn

This name in tempting.
No. 188437
[X] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”

This looks promising. I'm looking forward to it.

>>188433
>did not put [Yay] in the vote box.

You can do better.
No. 188438
[X] “It was a traffic accident. Same old, same old. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out of nowhere and bowled me to next sunday.”
[X] Perseus Hearn
No. 188439
[x] “It was a noodle incident. There was a party for my friend’s birthday. I loved to cook, see? So I baked him some cookies, and some pastas. And, uh, I sorta slipped. Got spilled boiled water all over my face, and a very large pan.”

My body is ready, though our protagonist's was not.
No. 188440
>>188433
Name the references please. I only got MC's soul situation and Eiki's (same as Fallout's)
No. 188442
>>188440
Being judged by Eiki + Death by traffic accident + name of "Nobody" made me immediately think of:
https://www.touhou-project.com/storylist.php?title=Flight+of+the+Lost&author=&board[]=0&status[]=any
No. 188443
[X] “It was a traffic accident. Same as last time. Probably even a drunk driver. The light was red, and I was crossing the street, when all of a sudden this car came out of nowhere and bowled me into next Sunday.”

[X] Scarlett Russell
No. 188451
“Perseus.” You begin, tilting your blob-like body to the side. “Perseus Hearn. You can call me Percy.” You clarify.

The green haired Judge nods her head. “I am called Yamaxanadu Shikieiki.” And dang, if that’s not a long name.

You tilt your body, starting to get used with how this whole blob-shape thing works. Just move like you were alive, and the blob that is now your body would move accordingly. Not accurately, but it seems that she understands your meaning. The Japanese naming convention and suffixes escape you, and you’re unsure if she would be offended or not, so you make a mental note to use her full name.

You remember there’s the -chan Weebs from the Internet loves to use, so you won’t be calling her that. There’s -kun, but you vaguely remember it’s for male, and unless Yamaxanadu Shikieiki has a cock down there, you doubt it would be appropriate—although it’s another matter entirely to which she identifies the most as. There’s -sama and -dono, but you can’t remember what they meant; used for servants, perhaps? There’s -senpai and -kouhai, which basically meant ‘senior’ and ‘junior’, which you suppose could work? Then again, calling someone a senior would imply that you’re their junior, and unless you’re going to wear a black robe, you’re sure that won’t work.

She clears her throat, a somewhat childlike noise that jerks you in place, and snaps you back into the world. She stares at you with a look of patient, but somehow not entirely patient. Judging, the word comes to you.

You gulp, once again thanking your blobbiness to prevent any sign of blushing. “It was a traffic accident.” You answer truthfully, quirking a metaphorical grumble and smile. “Same old, same old, really.”

You remember the events like the back of your hand, so seared in your mind that you doubt you could even forget it. As every bad thing is wont to happen, it was at night. You were going to the local grocery store, planning to stock up your tea and coffee with some snacks to go along with it. Some jerkwad busted your bike, so you had to force yourself walking with great reluctance.

You keep a pocket knife on hand, just to be safe. After all, you would rather keep your anal-virginity in a safe, and your stomach-virginity, and your death-virginity. All virginity, to be honest.

“The light was red.” You say, ‘shrugging’ nonchalantly.

You were standing at the end of a crossroad. Across, the grocery store stood like the North Star. The street wasn’t full, but it wasn’t empty either—cars and pickups would pass by here and there, and you wait patiently for the light just like the law-abiding person you are. Were.

“And I was crossing the street—where all of the sudden, this car came out from nowhere.” Despite your effort to keep it light, you couldn’t help but feel sour at the memory. “They were probably drunk too.”

When you were crossing the street, the first you heard was the skidding sound of rubber wheels against asphalt, like a man losing his testicles. But the actual warning was the nearing, and full-blown Yakety Sax coming from your side—

“It bowled me over hard to next sunday.” You end, feeling less… well, less happier than before.

You remember floating in the sky, your body fucked with pure unadulterated pain that would bring a masochist into ten orgasms in one succession. There were screams, mostly coming from you. You stare at the faces of dumb people riding the shitty red car, Yakety Sax running in the background.

And then you hit the ground, and then died.

“And I suppose the rest is history.” You finish, watching the Judge expectantly. You wonder what would happen after this—would you go to Heaven? Unlikely. Hell? Likely. Perhaps a sort of Limbo? Hopefully.

She stares at the something on her desk, pursing her lips in an oddly adorable way. “I see.” She nods her head, before tilting up to you. “Such an unfortunate event.” She comments, giving you a tiny smile. “Nevertheless, from what I have seen, and heard, it appears to me that your sin is not great enough to be sent to Hell.” You feel relief from that. “However,” and that relief is gone, because of course there would be a ‘however’. “I cannot in good conscience allow you go into Heaven. You have too great of a crime. Therefore, you will be sent into the Netherworld.”

You blink, memories of gaming and fantasy literatures coming to you. “Nether—what?”

She nods. “The Netherworld. You will reside there as your afterlife.” She pauses, pushing the wooden rod up to her chin. “Normally, I would like to lecture you, but it appears that I am too busy for that. I would like you to think about any possible crimes you’ve done and learn from it. Good bye, and good luck, Perseus Hearn.”

You’re about to say something, but couldn’t as she taps her rod onto the table. And you find yourself floating, floating, and floating. Your mind is a sea of calm, and you’re drifting, drifting, and drifting. The scent of flowers seep into yourself, and they soothe you more than you could think possible.

The sky is white and foggy, and you find yourself surrounded by dead trees.

You blink, twitching side to side. “What the fuck?”

[] What now?
No. 188452
Uh, for future reference, Yamaxanadu is a title, not a name. Her name is actually just "Shiki Eiki".
No. 188453
Ah, shit, really? Well, can't edit it, but I'll keep that in mind next time.
No. 188456
now I'm just being nitpicky, but -kun suffix can be used for woman, usually your female coworker. Then again, Percy knew those stuff from chans.
Also, pretty sure any limbo between heaven and hell is temporary in Japanese belief. Then you got reincarnated, until you earned enough karma to enter either heaven or hell.

Regardless, I'll be waiting warmly for the next updates.
No. 188459
[X] Float around... See if you can find a cup of tea or something. On that note, see if you can drink a cup of tea.
No. 188460
>>188453
Yeah she is 'Shikieiki' as in "Shiki Eiki" (last name first, asian convention) 'Yamaxanadu' as in "a Yama (a God of death and, according to Buddhism, it who judges the dead) of Xanadu" (A term that seems to represent an idealized place of idyllic beauty)

According to the revised, Hinduism influenced, Buddhism, the Yama judge the dead and send them to Heaven, if they reached illumination, Hell, if their sins were too great or to reincarnate again if they are in the middle. This circle 'life, death, rebirth' is called 'the cycle of transmigration' and it can only be escaped by reaching heaven (Hell is a temporary punishment that lasts as long as your sins and bumps you back to reincarnation after you paid your dues, according to some views) The 'Wheel of Dharma' was promoted by those religions as the only way to do so. It represents following Buddha's teachings with patience, discipline and meditation)

That is why immortals are persecuted by Shinigami: because they escape the cycle of transmigration unnaturally. But I digress.
No. 188464
>>188459
I like your style.

[X] Float around... See if you can find a cup of tea or something. On that note, see if you can drink a cup of tea.
No. 188469
[X] Float around... See if you can find a cup of tea or something. On that note, see if you can drink a cup of tea.

This is a wagon with an acceptable band upon it.
No. 188470
[x] Float around... See if you can find a cup of tea or something. On that note, see if you can drink a cup of tea.

Not bad guys, not bad.
No. 188475
[x] Float around... See if you can find a cup of tea or something. On that note, see if you can drink a cup of tea.

The best way to deal with your own death is to enjoy a nice cup of tea!
No. 188482
[X] Float around... See if you can find a cup of tea or something. On that note, see if you can drink a cup of tea.


>>188451
> Japanese naming convention and suffixes
... and somehow, no -san, which random Americans off the street will recognize. Nor, for that matter, the English "Ms." — because why on earth would you be looking for the right Japanese suffix to use when you're both speaking (what Percy perceives as) English anyway?

This is not a complaint about use of Japanese suffixes in English in general. There are perfectly good reasons to do that; it's just that, in-character, none of them apply.


>>188456
> now I'm just being nitpicky, but
Also essentially wrong (if perhaps not technically so).

-kun attached to a given name is informal, and only used to address male social peers.

-kun attached to a surname is gender-neutral, semi-formal, and strictly superior-to-inferior.
No. 189616
[X] Float around... See if you can find a cup of tea or something. On that note, see if you can drink a cup of tea.

Is this dead ?
No. 189645
File 146597856855.jpg- (8.95KB , 236x236 , d609535632b9118f0f0e53582500fbdd.jpg ) [iqdb]
189645
[X] Float around... See if you can find a cup of tea or something. On that note, see if you can drink a cup of tea.
-x-

There's a certain abstract feeling you can't quite describe as you float there uncertainly. A mix of everything and nothing. Uncomfortable restriction that leaves a gaping hole down your 'gullet', and a comfortable floatiness of all things floaty. It's like being squished like a bug, and rubbed lovingly like a tender piece of a pork. There's calm, but there's also turmoil.

It's hard to describe—the feeling is just there, but it's impossible to reach. Or perhaps you're unwilling to reach it?

Nevertheless, you find your sight wander through one and each dead tree. Few of them have leaves remaining, hanging precariously, yet unfalling. There's a sense of calm. Of sooth.

And you're left clueless what to do...

Huh. And oddly enough, you have a sudden craving for tea. And isn't that ironic? You were killed in the way of buying tea, so what's stopping you from looking for tea right now? Nothing. Well, hopefully nothing.

It does leave you wondering if you could even drink tea, but you push that thought for later. It's enough that you're killed by a bunch of shitty drivers with shitty choice of driving music, you don't want to make it worse by thinking the possibility that you couldn't even consume anything.

With that stubborn and positively encouraging piece of thought, you straighten your blobbiness self, and with the Quest of Tea in your mind... you float.

Float. Float. Floatilly float. If you could see yourself in a mirror, you probably look like a helium-filled baloon that has gained sentiency, and instead of that one rubber-tire, you're seeking for the best liquid refreshment in the world.

Hint: It has three letters, and is not in any way, related to blood. Unless it's red tea, in which case, fire away!

Still, there are probably other things you should worry about. Like that you're dead, or wherever you are, or what the ever living fuck you are right now, but that could wait after you have your tea.

There's no exact pattern on your path, simply floating about and picking a random direction to follow. East, and leaning slightly to North, if your direction compass hasn't been screwed. It's the best you could do, however, and barring some philosophical train of thoughts involving God, Death, Life, and other needless conceptual thingamabob, it's probably the best thing you could do.

That said, it almost feels miraculous when you spot what looks like the break of the forest, a finish line that would lead you to wherever else this purgatory would lead you. That said, you do feel rather shocked when you stumble into what seems like the back-garden of a large Japanese-styled mansion.

It's mostly filled with Sakura trees—alive, this time—and a bunch of fancy stones and rocks in a pretty formation—like the work of a particularly bored Vincent van Gogh who thought that paintings are so in the 17th Century, and decided to become a... whatever a rock-formationg artist it's called. There's even a few ponds here and there that are filled with few colorful ghost-kois.

It takes you a moment to contemplate what that means when you yourself don't have a shape that reminds you of your life, but these fishies with brains smaller than yours do.

Still, your mind doesn't linger on that for long. Rather, it's on the lone tray sitting on the ledge of the house. Or more specifically, on the fancy Japanese chinas sitting above it, the whiff of what smells like green tea beckoning you like a particularly convincing and sexy lady in a heat. Difference between real life is that this one doesn't look like she's married...

[] ???
No. 189651
[X] Go to her.
No. 189653
[X] This green tea is calling for you.

Glad to see you back.
No. 189656
[X] This green tea is calling for you.
[x] The sexy lady could use some tea... why don't you take this golden opportunity to meet her over tea?
No. 189661
[X] This green tea is calling for you.
No. 189666
[x] This green tea is calling for you.
-[x] The sexy lady could use some tea... why don't you take this golden opportunity to meet her over tea?

I like this combo. And I'm glad this is not dead.
No. 189669
[x] This green tea is calling for you.
-[x] The sexy lady could use some tea... why don't you take this golden opportunity to meet her over tea?

Good choice.
No. 189684
[X] This green tea is calling for you.
No. 189685
[x] This green tea is calling for you.
-[x] The sexy lady could use some tea... why don't you take this golden opportunity to meet her over tea?
No. 189692
As >>189656 I feel the need to note that this statement was under the erroneous assumption that there was a lady there.
There's still a Lady Yuyuko there anyway.

HOWEVER! I've come up with a THEORY on WHO WE WERE:
>the whiff of what smells like green tea beckoning you like a particularly convincing and sexy lady in a heat
This implies that we were some sort of youkai of which their females go into heat.

>it occurs to you that the Judge of the Deceased looks oddly cuter than you would’ve expected—which was something of a red giant, with horns, and angry eyes
>You remember floating in the sky, your body fucked with pure unadulterated pain that would bring a masochist into ten orgasms in one succession. There were screams, mostly coming from you. You stare at the faces of dumb people riding the shitty red car, Yakety Sax running in the background.
>You have too great of a crime

I think we are an ordinary wolf tengu who got ran over by a drunk oni driver in the year of 20XX Gensokyo.

But my write-in still stands.











So, am I right, or are we just an ordinary human from the Outside World? (I hope I'm right.)
No. 189695
I'm >>189666 and dammit, >>189692 is right there is no lady where we are. I misread that too.
Sage for not contributing.
No. 189697
>>189692
:V

Amusing as that would be, I'm afraid you're just an unfortunate Outsider who had the (mis)fortune of having Shiki Eiki as your Judge.

That said, I'm going to treat that write in as you're attempting to flirt with the tea.

Cuz why not?
No. 189701
>>189697
If we're flirting with it, can we at least drink it as we do so? I'd be disappointed if we didn't even fulfil our original quest.
No. 189702
>>189697
If we're flirting with it, can we at least drink it as we do so? I'd be disappointed if we didn't even fulfil our original quest.
No. 189705
>>189701
>>189702
Fatal Error: the return?
No. 189708
>>189697
Damn. Although this story just got funny now.

>What is this, some kind of tea youkai?
No. 189731
>>189697
In during tea youkai
No. 189852
[X] This green tea is calling for you.

It beckons.


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