Archived Thread
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You wake to the sensation of your head falling down onto something hard and floor-like.
Your previous encounters with this sort of thing lead you to believe it to be a floor of some sort. Hardly unusual for you, of course, but something about this particular instance still strikes you as somehow odd.

"Uh, whoops! Sorry about that!" you hear a girl's voice say from somewhere above you, as a pair of hands grasp the sides of your head and pull you up from the ground.

As you feel yourself being hoisted into the air, the odd feeling you have only grows as you begin to notice a strange sense of weightlessness from the rest of your body. Despite your head being lifted and turned in such a way that you are almost positive would require pulling and bending your neck and spine in a rather uncomfortable way, you don't feel even the slightest twinge of discomfort.

"W-woah! Hey, are you really awake? Wow!" a blonde-haired girl holding your head says, looking at you with a mix of surprise and wonder. "Can you hear me? Like, blink once if you can and two if you can't."

[ ] Blink once.
[ ] Blink twice.
[ ] Blink three times.
[ ] Speak.


So! Long time no see, huh?
Ever get sick with something, suffer for a while, but eventually feel as if you were finally getting over it, only for your body to go "HAHA, FUCK YOU" and shit gets worse? That's basically my last two months in a nutshell. Sorry for the completely lack of anything close to an update in that time, but it's hard to write when my thoughts are completely consumed by mucus, the constant coughing up of mucus, and the futile attempts to remember if there was ever a time when I was not constantly coughing up mucus.

Thankfully, I think that I can now safely say that the worst has passed. I'm feeling better than I have in a while, the ideas are once again a-flowing, and I'm finally back in the right mood to try to get something done. I can't make any promises about frequency, but aside from another bout of illness or some major catastrophe, I should be able to update a little more often than once a month or two.

The Fluffyness hasn't been abandoned, but it will probably be taking a backseat to the main story for the time being.
[X] Blink once

And suddenly this returns! Glad to hear you're feeling well-ish-er again.
[X] Blink once.

Condolences, hope you feel better.
[X] Blink once.

[ ] Blink once.
[x] Blink once.

Best not to annoy the blonde haired girl.
[X] Blink once
File 142257504381.png - (148.86KB, 1024x1024 , amieveninthisstoryanymore.png) [iqdb]
>?Can you hear me? Like, blink once if you can and two if you can't.."

We're dealing with an evil genius.

[x] Blink twice.
[X] Speak

Open a dialogue, that we may discover our whereabouts!
[x] Blink three times.
[x] Blink three times.

1+2=3, so we are basically saying both.
[x] Blink three times.

We're such trolls.
[x] Blink three times.
File 142364681086.jpg - (464.66KB, 857x1000 , yeah she is.jpg) [iqdb]
Calling it for the thing that got the most votes, with the possibility of also doing something with the thing that almost got the most votes.

Will attempt writing tomorrow night.
Will most likely not finish for a number of days after that due to being stuck with a long work week.
Will almost certainly be considering taking up alcoholism as a hobby before it is over.
The work week, not the update.
File 142459927997.jpg - (381.42KB, 800x1200 , you are now blinking manually.jpg) [iqdb]
You blink once, as you were instructed to do.
Once, and no more.
Once is the number of times you blink, and the number of times you blink is once.
If you were to have blinked twice, you would have blinked once more than you should have done, which is not what you wanted to do.

The girl seems to be pleased by your response, if the toothy smile that she was currently displaying was any indication. "Great! Nobody was sure if you were dead or not, but you're not! And you're not even screaming or anything! Unless you want to scream but can't because, well, duh! No lungs! Even if you don't need to breathe or anything, it's hard to talk when you've had your..." Trailing off, the girl's eyes seem to lose focus, as if staring through you towards something off to the horizon.

As she begins to visibly tremble, you can't help but feel a little concerned about the girl, partly for her well-being, but also for the fact that the grip she had on your head was becoming uncomfortably tight. As worried as you may have been for her, though, it was something about what she just said that's giving you a particularly bad feeling. Namely, the 'no lungs' part of what she said. What could she have possibly meant by that?

Obviously, you know what it means, technically. 'No lungs' means exactly what it sounds like. No lungs. A complete and utter lack of lungs. If the normal status if for someone to have lungs, this would be the complete opposite of that. It means that someone's chest cavity has seen a sudden decrease in the local lung population, and not just because of rising crime rates in conjunction with the collapse of the local economy due to the weakening of the yen.

Still! What could that possibly have to do with you and your current situation? It's not as if you don't have lungs! You're quite certain you would notice if you didn't have lungs anymore, or at least, you would notice if not for the fact that you would most likely be dead.

And you're not dead, right?
Of course not!
You think you would know if you were dead or not!
Unless you were a ghost or something, you suppose. Or a zombie. Not realizing you were dead is probably to be expected in a situation like that.

Good thing for you that this is not that sort of situation, isn't it?

[ ] Yes, that is exactly right. There is no way anything could be wrong or unusual about you without you realizing it. No way at all. Nope. None.

[ ] Actually, now that you think of it, something does seem a little off about how you're feeling right now...

[ ] No, John. You are the demons.
[x] Actually, now that you think of it, something does seem a little off about how you're feeling right now...

That's what we get for charging headfirst, huh
[X] Actually, now that you think of it, something does seem a little off about how you're feeling right now...

We got too ahead of ourselves, it seems.
[X] Actually, now that you think of it, something does seem a little off about how you're feeling right now...

I feel we should be heading in this direction.
[x] Yes, that is exactly right. There is no way anything could be wrong or unusual about you without you realizing it. No way at all. Nope. None.

lets not think too hard about it right now.
[x] Actually, now that you think of it, something does seem a little off about how you're feeling right now...
[x] No, John. You are the demons.
[x] Actually, now that you think of it, something does seem a little off about how you're feeling right now...
File 142510117723.png - (287.83KB, 719x652 , you on the left.png) [iqdb]
Actually, now that you think about it, something does seem a little off about how you're feeling right now, but you can't quite wrap your head around what it could be. Indeed, the source of your discomfort is quite a head scratcher. Even so, you can't help but shake the feeling that you would be heading down a dark and unpleasant path if you dwelt upon the matter too much.

Deciding it was best to not worry about it for now, you feel as if a great weight had been lifted from your shoulders. Even if something was wrong, it's pointless to worry about it if you can't even do anything about it, right? Of course it was! You would nod to yourself in satisfaction, but you can't seem to do that for some strange reason, either.

Kurumi blinks a few times, her eyes regaining their focus. "Huh? What was I doing, aGAHH!?

Jolting suddenly, you feel yourself rolling through the air, followed shortly by the sensation of yet again having your skull hit the floor. Your vision spins as you feel your head rolling on the ground in a way that feels unquestionably wrong to you.

"O-oh! Oh no! Sorry!" you hear the maybe-probably-vampire girl stammer as she scrambles to her feet. "IamsosorryIdidn'tmeantodropyouIjustkindaspacedoutexceptnotreallyitwasmorelikeareallybaddaydreamlikeyoudon'twanttohavebutyoucan'thelpbuthaveyoueverh
aveanythinglikethatohbutIprobablyshouldn'tremindyouifyoudidI'msorryandsorryfordroppingyouIreallydidn'tmeantohonestIdidn't..." You feel hands fumbling to grab your head, as a rambling stream of apologies flow into your ears.

As much as you would like to reassure her that no offense was taken, not to mention asking her just what the hell was going on, you find yourself unable to make any sort of noise beyond clicking your tongue with the roof of your mouth and clacking your teeth together, neither of which seemed appropriate or adequate for your needs at this moment. Their being completely drowned out by the still-apologizing girl holding did not help matters.

Frustrated with your mysteriously limited ability to communicate, you couldn't help but think back to your all-too-brief time in the underground, and how convenient it would be if someone like Satori were around for times like this. If only you were still there, you think to yourself. In the underground.

"...ifanythinghappendthenshewasgoingtoWAIT I have an idea!" Kurumi suddenly halts her word-torrent, and looks at you. "Since you're all conscious and stuff, maybe they're almost done putting you back together! Let's go see!"

Without waiting for so much as a blink of agreement from you, the probably-a-vampire girl tucks you under her arm and begins to walk down the long hallway, happily chattering away all the while.

"I was really surprised, you know! The way you went at that demon like that, even though I was totally all ready to jump her when you gave the signal you were supposed to give! I guess we didn't talk about that, so you didn't know to do that, huh? Probably should've done that. Of course, she probably would've just blown me up like she blew you up, which would've been bad, but not as bad as it would've been for you, which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be since you're still alive and all. I wonder why she did that. Maybe she knew you were friends with the Boss, and didn't want to make her mad, which I guess she was, what with how she blew up the room and all. I don't think I've ever seen the Boss blow anything up as many times as she did that room. There wasn't even anyone else in after the first time! Well, aside from all those pieces of you, of course. Even when there was almost nothing left she just kept blasting, and blasting, and blasting away like she was really, really mad for some reason."

Stopping in her tracks, Kurumi lifts you up to her face, and smiles.

"But wow! Friends with the Boss! You should've said so! Then Elly might not have tried to kill you like-" she pauses, as if considering something. "Actually, no, she probably would've still tried to kill you. They tried tricking us with something like that before, but she wasn't fooled because they're really bad at making people. I kinda wondered if that's why your blood tasted all weird before. You know, like they made it wrong because they couldn't figure out what blood was supposed to taste like, which is weird since we're in a lake surrounded by the stuff. Then again, that stuff doesn't taste much like blood, either, now that I think about it. Not good blood, anyway. I was really disappointed when I found out. I thought I had it made, a whole lake of blood all to myself, and then it turns out someone was living in it, and they didn't want anyone else taking it, so we had a fight, and I lost, but I got to get to stay as a guard, and I was so happy because it was all the blood I could ever want, and it turns out it's all watery and tastes terrible! I almost feel like I was tricked."

As you listen to Kurumi's almost stream-of-consciousness rambling, you notice that she's begun to walk again. Though you don't doubt she knows her way around this place, you nevertheless can't help but wonder how well she can see where she's going while holding your head right in front of her face.

Also, you realize that you're basically a severed head at the moment.

The realization washes over you like a high tide at dawn.

Your inability to move under your own power.
Your similar inability to speak.
The whole 'getting blown up' thing actually being a 'thing'.
All of the rolling and being picked up and held under arms like a human bowling ball.

You were a severed head.
Funny as hell, it was the most horrible thing you could think of.

Well, second-most horrible thing you could think of.
You might not be able to eat eggs without a stomach, least you still had a mouth with which to chew and taste them. In fact, no stomach means no getting full, which means you could just keep chewing and swallowing and tasting eggs non-stop!

You think you might be onto something here.
If you could consume eggs non-stop, the only limit would be the number of eggs. If there were no such limit on eggs, though?

In the back of your mind, you wonder if you were a tad too hasty in rejecting that angel-demon girl's offer. Probably too late now, you suppose. Negotiations are pretty much over when one party explodes the other.

[ ] Seriously consider offering the demon a sincere apology and inquire if her offer is still open.

[ ] No. NO. You want your body back. You need your body back. Make with the getting of the body back.

[ ] Eh, whatever. Just relax and take it easy.
[x] No. NO. You want your body back. You need your body back. Make with the getting of the body back.

We could end up as a vegetable if we woke up like this.
[X] Seriously consider offering the demon a sincere apology and inquire if her offer is still open.

This sounds like the most entertaining option. Although, being angry and unable to talk is a close second.
I miss our ever-so-brief time in the underground. It was safe. It had Satori. It also had not getting blown up. I sure do wish we had stayed for just a moment longer, in our short trip.
[X] I want my body back.
[x] No. NO. You want your body back. You need your body back. Make with the getting of the body back.

Goddamn, karma caught up to us.
[x] No. NO. You want your body back. You need your body back. Make with the getting of the body back.

Well... it could always be worse. There's that, at least.
[X] Seriously consider offering the demon a sincere apology and inquire if her offer is still open.
[x] Eh, whatever. Just relax and take it easy.

This accurately reflects my attitude toward this problem.
[x] Eh, whatever. Just relax and take it easy.

We're a head. Taking it easy is our whole purpose.
[X] I want my body back.
[ ] Seriously consider offering the demon a sincere apology and inquire if her offer is still open.

Why choose the boring option?
Isn't it rude to plead to the the guy who destroyed the house of the guy who is taking care of me at the moment
[x] Eh, whatever. Just relax and take it easy.
[x] I want my body back, body back, body back, body back, body back, body back.
File 142615092523.jpg - (27.00KB, 395x442 , all work and no play makes something something.jpg) [iqdb]
Another long work week come and gone. Will attempt to update within the next couple of days.
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Waiting warmly
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Missed my window. It will probably be another two or three days. Please continue waiting in the temperature of your preference.
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File 143047057275.jpg - (23.29KB, 364x348 , YouAlwaysFeelNeatWithAHatMadeOfMeat.jpg) [iqdb]

That is the only thought that enters your mind as you finally arrive at your destination, and your mind attempts to make sense of the scene before you.

The room, if it could even be called that, looked mostly like the one you woke up in before, save for a few minor differences. The windows, for instance, were cracked so badly that they looked as if even a slight breeze would be enough to cause the glass to shatter into hundreds of pieces. The most glaring change from the room you remember, though, would be the various piles of meat laying around the room.

Meat over here.
Meat over there.
Everywhere you looked, there was meat, meat, meat, and more meat.

"Well, I'm hungry again," Kurumi mutters, shifting her grip on your head and hoisting you up into the air. "Heeeeeeeeey! Head's all awake and blinking now! Are you done yet?"

From out of nowhere, you hear someone yawn.

"Yeah, fine, just leave it wherever," a voice you recognize as belonging to the winged girl replies, sounding rather bored. "We're taking a break, so shut up and leave us alone."

"Oh, um, okay?" Kurumi says, clearly taken aback by the unseen demon's dismissive tone. "I guess I'll just go and- HEY! The Boss didn't say you could take a break!"

"Well, too bad, because we are!" the demon retorts, defiance in her voice. "This is boring and stupid! You're boring and stupid! All of you are boring and stupid! Let Mr. 'Turns Down the Best Offer He Could Ever Hope to Get in His Entire Pathetic Mortal Existence to Charge at a Freaking Demon Completely Unarmed Like a Dumb-ass' put himself back together if he wants a body back so badly!"

Something about the invisible demon's new nickname for you strikes you as strange, and it's not just its impractical length. After all, what was wrong with your decision to leap right at a supernatural being with powers far beyond your ability to comprehend, let alone resist? Much like your fondness for throwing rocks as a means to deter youkai from attacking you, charging straight at your enemy with no plan or countermeasures to deal with their ability to horribly murder you seems like a perfectly sound strategy that has never failed you in the past, especially when you ignore the few dozen times when it has.

Then again, you are little more than a severed head, with what remains of the rest of your body decorating the room in the form of those weird, meaty piles.

So, there is that to consider, you suppose.

As you ponder over these new, troubling thoughts, you think you hear Kurumi attempt to argue with the still-invisible demon girl, but you somehow get the feeling that it's not going to accomplish much at the moment.

And so, with little else available for you to do in this particular situation, you think the best thing to do might just be to take some time out to actually think for a little bit.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Think think think think thinkthinkthinkthinkthinkywinkydinkyteenkystinkystinky stinky STINKY~!

You're stinky, yes, oh yes you are~!
A stinky little bouncy trouncy fun fun fun FUN FUN~!
I think that I think that I think you remind me of something that makes me think about something that reminds me of a thing that reminds me of another thing that reminds me of you~!

The smell~"
The smell~!

The smelly-smelly smell of jelly and juice and meat~!
But not the meat that I know but the meat that I don't know except I think I know it know it now now now because it's here and it's you not that you smell bad but you smell like you smell bad but you don't because you don't smell bad enough even though you maybe probably should~!

Ah~! Ah ah ah~!
No no no~!
No biteys~!

Good girls don't bite-ite-ite except when they do and then they aren't so good except they are because it's good especially when you get her right in that spot behind the ear and the knee that she thinks nobody knows about but I know because I know and I wrote it down and forgot where I wrote it so I wrote it again and forgot that so I just did it myself until I found it and I think that you are doing really good at not bumping into stuff when you have this funny paper on your face like this~!

What is that what is that what what whaaaaaaaaaaat~"
It's all funny swirlies and squiggles~!

I wonder, oh I wonder, wonder wander under over under up and down and round and round and I think we went by this place already but maybe we didn't and also there are a lot of people here aren't there and I think that they might be looking this way or maybe they aren't but if they are I think we should wave because that is what you do when you see people seeing you and you go all HEEEEEEEEEEEEY HI HELLO I AM WAVING WAVING WAVING AT YOU HELLO HELLO HELL-



[ ] Affection~!

[ ] Denial~!

[ ] Identification~!

[ ] Sublimation~!
[X] Affection~!

This seems like the most logical choice.
[x] Sublimation~!

Welcome backkkk
[x] Denial~!
[X] Identification
Yoshika? Whoever that was mentioned a funny paper on their face after all.
[X] Affection~!


And Affection~! is always a good choice! Especially if our hero right now is who I'm assuming we are! Because if our hero right now is who I'm assuming we are, Affection~! should properly overwhelm the Imperial Guard who dares force his eerily plastic-y face into the center of our screen.

(Also, welcome back Buflag. (Is that a thing? do we call this writefag Buflag?))
[X] Affection~!
[X] Sublimation~!

We weren't here, whatever are you talking about, mysterious person who calls random people scum~?
[x] Identification~!

I'm so fucking happy
[x] affection
[x] affection
[x] Super?Affection
[x] Sublimation~!

Oh god oh god it's back!
File 143159281897.png - (358B, 120x120 , carpet and drapes.png) [iqdb]
Who is that~"
Who is thaaaaaaaaaaaaat~"

When someone says stop they clearly mean go and we go on and go in and go in and go in like the person who does the thing and has the things that are things while being other things and I think that I think they really need a hug because I want to hug them because that is what I think I think in the place in my head that I think I do that sort of thing.

So hop~! Hop~! Hop-hop-hop~!
Hippity hoppity like a little bunny~!
But you're not a bunny, are you, are you little hoppy-hopperson?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaare yooooooooooooou~"
I think that you're not but maybe you are if you were one in disguise but then our relationship would be built on a lie and why would you lie after I trusted you all those times and you said you would do your part to raise the kids and then you don't and you're really kind of a deadbeat and I think I just made a funny but I can't tell and won't tell because secrets aren't secret unless they are~!

So little horsey that is bad at being a horsey but being good at being a pogo stick except you're made of meat instead of pogo whatever that is and take me and you and us and them to there and see what all the noise is with the yelling and stopping and stopping and why are we stopping is this my stop I think that it is because we have and I am and I am seeing what there is to see and what I spy with my little eyes is HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO REDHEAD~!


I know a redhead~!
At least, I think I do~!
Your hair is red and her hair is red except when she's a kitty and then it's not which was always really weird because the bird is black even when she's not a bird she just gets a lot more bouncy and bouncy and how does a cat braid her hair when she doesn't have fingers and what's the deal with her ears and her other ears and does that let her hear things four times and I should ask her about that sometime except I'll forget so I won't unless I do it right now and THERE SHE IS THERE SHE IS RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE IS THE KITTY I KNOW IS A KITTY I KNOW~!

"No way, sister! This hot little corpsey's comin' home with me, and I ain't stopin' for nobody!"

"But, um, you just did. Stop, that is."

"What? You blind or something, sister? I'm... huh?! Why can't I MMPH?!?

Now is hugs time~!
Hugging and cuddling and smothering and no words now just emotions and fondling and petting but the one kind not the other one and the other one is coming this way and I think that maybe she's feeling a little bit lonely and left out and maybe I should do something about that or maybe not~"

[ ] First option
[ ] Second option
[ ] Third option
[ ] Not really an option but four is the magic number or was it another one oh well
[x] Third option

Three is the magic number.
[X] Not really an option but four is the magic number or was it another one oh well

Why is Koishi so adorable here?
[x] Third option

I thought it was Yoshika because of the slip on her face (Or am I reading the mad rambling wrong?)

Well, this style of mad rambling is Koishi's usual stream of consciousness (or should I say unconsciousness?). I don't think we've had anything from Yoshika's perspective ever.
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Should I or not or not or should or not or shot hot spot trot clippity clop like the horsey that is not a horsey even if she does eat grass or hay or roll in it either which I think is sad because it's fun with one or two or twelve or seven but I can't hug them all because my arms aren't that wide but the birdy birdy bird does and she can't but she can burn things which is fun and makes you warm like hugs but with more burning and fire and ouch ouch ouchy which is why hugs are nice and nice things are nice when they are nice which is what they are and I think I can reach if I streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch out my arms and my hands and my fingers and wiggle wiggle hello little piggies how are you today~?


"Gah! Miss Koishi?!"


I think they see me because that's the sound that people make when they see me.
Or I think that's the sound they make.
They don't see me~
They don't see me~
But then sometimes they do see me and when they see me they go all 'AHHH' and 'AIEEEEEE' and 'HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE' or 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED' and sometimes I know what I'm doing but sometimes I don't and then everybody is confused except they are a lot more loud about it and that's why you put something in their mouth before you tickle them.

"Er, Miss? Are you an acquaintance of the perp?"

I think I like that word~!


Perp perp perp perp perppity perp perp perp-per-derp perp perp per-perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp~!
This is probably my favorite thing right now until it isn't anymore which could be any time but probably right now or now or now but maybe now I'm bored I'm bored I'm boooooooooooooooored~!

Or, at least I think so.
I think I think so.

[ ] I think I think

[ ] I think kitty thinks

[ ] I think lady thinks

[ ] I think horsey doesn't think unless maybe she does
[X] I think horsey doesn't think unless maybe she does

To think or not to think, that is the question... maybe.
[x] I think horsey thinks unless maybe it doesn't

Don't be like that, I'm sure horsey has just as much to worry about as everyone
[x] I think I think

Therefore, I think... I think.
[x] I think I think
[X] I think lady thinks

Why does I think lady thinks?

Because lady is a redheaded cop.

Kotohime might be fun.

I only think lady thinks because lady doesn't think because I think I think, I think, but not getting even a single think is sad, so lady thinks, but lady doesn't think.
[X] I think horsey doesn't think unless maybe she does

makes sense.
[x] I think kitty thinks

What else but this one? I mean, really, what else can you vote for but this one here!
[X] I think I think
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Okay, okay, I really am going to try to update in the next day or so. Probably. Maybe.

The problem with doing things is there are so many things to do, and when you're doing one it's hard to switch back to doing another, and by the time you think you're ready to get back to the first thing a whole new thing comes along and you get distracted by that because you are very easily distracted, and that is why I have a "pile of shame" for books and games that is now so large it will likely kill me if it ever collapses.

Also, pictures. I am trying to get back into doing that. Not as if that has anything to do with anything, least of all in regards to this story or anything else. At all.

My hand hurts.
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I think that I think that horsey doesn't think unless she does think that I think which I don't think she thinks but I don't think that she thinks like I think I don't think when I think I think that she thinks and I think I'm bored now okay we go now bye-bye~!

"H-huh?! Where did you go?! Where did she go?!

And so and so we go go go little horsey horse all clippity-cloppity flippity-floppity and draggity-droggity like a big bag of stuff that is like meat except you aren't a bag but you are made of meat unless you're not and you're made of magic and stuff like the little flittery fairy things that float and shoot and pop pop like little magic ballons that look like little girls because they are and I wonder wander wonder

I think I might have sort of kind of spaced out there because there is a thing there that wasn't there before and it is a thing and it is blue!
That thing is blue~!
BluuuuuuuuuuuuuuBRBLBRBLRBLRBLbleeeeeck! Ptooey!

The blue thing is wet and so am I but not in the good way because it's not bath time or the other time that isn't bath time but can be if you really wanna and that reminds me something but maybe it doesn't and OOH~ IDEA~! I have an idea~! I think I have an idea~! A thing~! A thing~! We can do a thing, Miss Horsey-horse and it will be fun and it will be a thing and we can do it and we should do it so let's do it do it do it do it doitdoitdoitnownownownownownownowNOWNOWNOW

[ ] Fishing
[ ] Spelunking
[ ] Sky Diving
[ ] Mountain climbing

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[ ]- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -[ ] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [ ]- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [ ]- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [ ]
[x] Sky Diving
[X] Fishing

Let's fish ourselves a wild Wakasagihime.
[x] Fishing
I don't even

I'm changing my vote because


I completely forgot about fish.

[X] Fishing

I'm all about those Waggysacks
Oh god

[X] Fishing

Speaking of fishes, it seems I have the memory of one, because I completely forgot about that.
File 143656094663.jpg - (107.16KB, 600x600 , EEEEEEEEEEEEXCELLENT.jpg) [iqdb]

I think I had a fishy once and it was all wet and floopy-floppy until it dried up and then it wasn't and then I guess maybe the kitty ate it or maybe it was me and sister scolded her or me or us about water and lava and them not being the same even though they're both all flowy and liquid but one is a thing you can drink and the other is a thing that you can't and OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH I think I just realized what that meant except what meant what and I think I lost something but I didn't because I don't remember what it was.


I think I wanna fish for a fish and then I'll have a fishy fishy and this time will be different unless it's not at all~!


I think I need a thing~!
A thing~!
A thing to do the thing that I want to do that I can't do without it but I can but it would be a lot harder and the thing is hard and long but not like that thing but another thing that's safe to pull out on a first date though you can do that for the other thing if you play your cards right and right now I have all the cards but none of the marbles so the only game I can play is Old Maid or Go Fish or Poker but I barely know her not that I would let that stop me because I wouldn't and I haven't so I'll do all at once and Fish the Old Maid and Poker Poker Poke Her poke poke poke poke poke~!

"Aiee! Wh-what was that?!"

I poked her.

"A-ah! N-no! What's happ-AHN!?

?Shhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm fondling you~?


Ahhh~! It's so cute when they get all screamy and flaily and kicky-kicky with their little leggy-weggs and feetsies which is what she's doing now she is all flaily and kicky-kicky with her little legg-weggs except they look all funny and big and flat and shiny and like a big fishy-fish which is silly because people don't have fishy feet like she does and little fishy-wishies don't scream so much when you squeeze their squishy bits like she is and oh.

"Hey~! Heeeeeeeey~! What are you~? What aaaaaaaaaaaare yoooooo-hoooooooooooo~?"

"Wha-what do you mean what am IIYAH?! Please! Ahn! Stop thaAHHHH~! Mermaid! I'm a mermaid! Nnh~! P-please, just let me-"


I think I know what that is~!
That's like a fishy-person~!
A person-fishy~!
Deliciously squishy persony fishy~!
Squishy-squishy little fishy~!
So much to squeeze but so few hands~!
And little horsey-not-a-horse is feeling all lonely~!
Lonely and floaty on the deep blue sea~!
Don't worry horsey I still love you even if I'm not fondling you as much now because there are so many of you and so few of me and my hands and I need more hands but I don't have more hands that the world is a cruel place like that so I need a hand to give me a hand and a hand in hand is worth two in the bush though that might get a little cramped and sticky but nobody should judge you if that's the way you swing like a swing where you're swinging and someone is pushing you to go higher and higher and we should go there up up up to get more hands and eyes to see and feel a touch and squeeze squeeze squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze~!

"Ahh! Wh-why are you holding me like this?! Why are we flying?! Where are you taking me?! Why do you have a dead body with yo-"



Awww! The little squishy-fish went all limp and sleepy and I think it must be her nap time but it's not my nap time not yet no no no we can't fly and sleep and fly and sleep because I did it that one time and I kept hitting trees so we won't do that I think I won't I probably won't unless I do but I don't think so so so let's go go go and fly away away to the place where the people are there with their hands and they will let us use those hands to do the things we can do with our own hands but not all at once because there is so much to do and touch and squeeze and rub and pet and stroke and nibble and fondle and...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[ ] Contemplation
[ ] Negotiation
[ ] Preparation
[ ] Deportation
[x] Contemplation

Best with jazz.
[X] Negotiation

[X] Negotiation

We feel like convincing the fish to join us for squeezes, right?
[x] Contemplation

"What comes after fondle, hmmm..."
Looking at how slow the site is, after how many votes would you generally start writing?
File 143672310741.png - (380.16KB, 1166x851 , f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5f5.png) [iqdb]
Generally speaking, when I start writing depends on a combination of factors, but as far as votes are concerned it's depends less on how many there are and more on what the votes I did get are for. The sooner there's a clear winner, or even just a simple majority, the sooner I can start thinking about updating. If there's a tie, I tend to wait until it either gets broken, or I get tired enough of waiting to just flip a coin or whatever.

At this moment, we have a perfect example of this. Today's looking good for me, writing-wise. I've got the time, I'm feeling motivated, but there are currently only four votes, and they're tied. If there were just one more/less vote at this moment, I could probably start right now. As it is, I'm inclined to wait until later in the day, or even until the evening, and see what I've got to work with then. If I'm still willing and able to write by then, and it's still tied, I'll probably just say "fuck it" and do whatever I feel like.

The only problem with me waiting that the longer I wait, the more likely it is that something will take whatever time and/or energy I've got to write away from me, and when that happens it can take a while for me to get it back.

majority vote = GOOD
tied vote = BAD

I guess I don't mind changing and am fine with either
File 143675126949.jpg - (973.99KB, 883x1000 , negotiations will be brief.jpg) [iqdb]
"Is your break over, yet?"


"Oh. How about now?"




Damn, you think to yourself, cursing the demons and their poor work ethic. You don't doubt that everyone needs a break now and then, but even without the aid of a clock you can tell they've been doing nothing for quite a while now, and it's making them look more than a little lazy. What ever happened to that good, old-fashioned ?can-do-and-by-do-I-mean-steal-your-soul-and-condemn-it-to-an-eternity-of-pain-and-suffering? attitude? If they had parents, you had no doubt that they would be shaking their heads in disappointment, wondering where they went wrong before placing all the blame on anything other than their own failure to instill the proper values and appreciation for things that they were taking for granted, as if it were the music industry's fault their kids don't share their appreciation for a well-prepared blood orgy anymore.

Still, at least you can talk again, which is more than you had a few minutes ago. You were a little worried when Kurumi first plopped your head down on that seemingly-random pile of meat, but it would appear that really was an esophagus sticking out of it, after all. At least, you hope it was. You really, really hope it was.

"So, when do you think you'll be done?" you ask the still-invisible demon-angel-girl.

?When we feel like it!? her voice rings out from somewhere above you.

"When do you think that will be?"

?Whenever we want!?

"Why not now?"

?Because we don't want to now!?

You try to clench your fists, and think you see a couple of the smaller piles around the room twitch in response. As comforting as you thought it would be to be capable of feeling everything below your neck once again, it's somewhat diminished by the fact that you're feeling everything everywhere.

You're not sure how to describe this sensation, but you're certain you don't like it.

"So, you want to just keep talking like this?"

?No, we don't!?

"Well, you keep doing it."

?Because someone keeps asking stupid questions!?

"Because you keep answering."

?Well maybe someone should stop!?

"You're right. So why don't you?"

?Why don't you?"

"I asked first."

?Well, I'm not answering you!?

"And yet, you still are."

The demon girl's frustrated growl echos through the room, and you can't help but feel more than a little little pleased. A little too pleased, perhaps, considering you are basically antagonizing what would seem to be a reality-warping demon who has already displayed a willingness to blast you into a million tiny, meaty pieces. Considering you are already in pieces, however, you figure you don't have much else to lose at the moment.

"If you really don't want to keep talking to me, could I talk to the other one, instead?"

?The other what??

"You know, your maid? The nice one?"

?U-um, actually I'm not her-?

?NO! You can't talk to her! And she's my sister, you dumb-ass!?

"Your sister's also your maid?"

?She is not a maid!?

"Then why is she dressed like one?"

?A-actually, this is-?

?It's a combat uniform, you moron! Her battle armor!?

"Her battle armor. A maid outfit. Battle armor."

?Wow! I know you're stupid, but you really don't know anything, do you? I bet you've never even heard of-?

?Oh my~! What do we have here, I wonder~?? you hear what is unmistakably Yuuka's voice cut through the air with a lilt that makes a chill run down the various scattered pieces of your spine. ?Some naughty children slacking off on their chores~? I don't believe that is what we agreed upon, was it~??

?Oh, uh, hey! We were just-? you hear the demon-girl begin to reply, only to be suddenly silenced by a sickening CRACK. Well, 'silenced' probably isn't the best way to describe it, you suppose. She was certainly making some sort of vocalization to accompany the nauseating series of twisting, tearing, and snapping noises that were reverberating through the room.

You can't say you've ever wondered what it would sound like if a bunch of wet tree branches wrapped in layers of bacon were bent and twisted to their breaking point, but you guess it would sound a lot like the things you were hearing right now.

It is a mental image that makes you queasy yet hungry.

The sounds continue for what feels like an eternity. Just how many parts does a body have to break, you wonder, briefly forgetting the fact that most of you was presently decorating most of the room. And then, just as suddenly as sounds began, the room falls silent, save for a bit of muffled sniffling and grumbling.

You say nothing as the two demon-girls quietly shuffle in through the door. The maid, while looking rather shaken, seemed to be fairly intact. Her sister, on the other hand, was another matter. Despite pouting like a small child being sent to her room without dessert, the one calling herself 'Gengetsu' looked as if she had challenged a speeding freight train to a fist fight and lost. Her dress was torn, her hair was a mess, and her wings were bent and twisted in multiple places and in various angles that were clearly unnatural and almost certainly painful.

As the two of them settle down and begin working with the piles of meat, you wonder if you should say anything...

[ ] Say something

[ ] Remain silent
[x] Remain silent

Let's see who breaks it first!
[X] Break the Silence

Engaging in conversation to lighten the mood would be the right thing to do.
[X] Say something
'Will she be alright?'
[x] Say something
-[x] To not-nice-not-maid: you really shouldn't push Yuuka's buttons like that. She's a really nice person when unprovoked.
-[x] To nice maid/sister: Are you okay? Is that really your battle dress? Is it more practical than it looks?
[x] Remain silent
Sound of silence.
File 143695254946.jpg - (198.55KB, 566x800 , it's a dirty job.jpg) [iqdb]
"Is she going to be okay?" you decide to ask the girl in the apparently-not-a-maid maid outfit, unsure if her somewhat mangled sibling was in the mood for chatting anymore.

"Um, well..."the not-maid glances at her sibling before turning to you. "I think Sister is-"

?Demons don't break that easy!" Gengetsu huffs indignantly, seemingly unaware of how the way she was turning her back to you was giving you a very good look at the broken-looking mass of feathers sprouting out of her back.

"Are you sure? Because you look like-"

"I'm not talking to you!"

"But you just-"


As certain as you were that you could keep her talking to you despite her claims to the contrary, you suspect it wouldn't be wise to continue to irritate one of the people you were currently depending upon to put your body back together now that she's actually doing it, albeit slowly.

"Sister is just frustrated that she can't fix herself right away, since that would require her to use her powers and she-"

?Mugetsu.? the winged demon hisses, threateningly.

"Oh, I guess we can't talk about that," the not-maid says, completely unfazed by the clear menace in her sister's tone. "Really, Sister, you shouldn't boast so much when making-"


Going silent, Mugetsu watches her sister for a few moments before turning back to you. "Yes, she'll be fine," she says, with a faint smile.

"Well, good. Good. That's, um, good," you say, doing your best to nod your head, but managing to do little more than a slight wiggle from side to side. "And you? Are you okay?"

"Yes?" she replies, her smile turning into a puzzled frown. "Why do you ask?"

"I dunno, just curious." you attempt to shrug, and see a couple meat piles twitch in response. "That happens to me sometimes. I wonder about things, and then I ask about the things I wonder about. Like how things are. Or why people are dressed like maids if they aren't maids. Speaking of which, why are you dressed like a-"

"I said it's for battle!" Gengetsu chimes in, keeping her mangled back facing you.

"You also said you're not talking to me."

"I'm not!"

"Then why are you-OW! you attempt to retort, only to be cut off by a sudden jolt of pain as Gengetsu slams a clenched fist down on one of her piles of you-meat.

"Ooops! My hand slipped! I'm so sorry!" she says, sounding anything but sincere in her 'apology'. The little brat.


"Yeah, yeah, I know!" the feathered brat grumbles, waving her hand dismissively. "This would all go a lot faster if some stupid clueless idiot didn't keep wasting time asking stupid clueless questions about stuff anyone who knows anything about anything would already know!"

"Well, I'm sorry for not knowing that maid uniforms aren-OW! OW!!?

"Oh? That wasn't a spider I just saw? Silly me!"

With a sigh, Mugetsu grabs what appears to be an appendage of some sort out of one of her meat piles, and carries it over to you. "Sister is going to get angry if you keep saying things like that," she quietly cautions you, gently laying the glistening meat-appendage down beside your head.

Too late, you think, but wisely choose not to say. Though you don't know why she would so strongly object to something being called with it clearly is, it's clear that it was a sore point for the wicked little demon for some reason. A sore point that she was all-too-willing to turn into an actual sore point for you.

[ ] Even so, you're curious! And you will not stop until you have the answers you crave!

[ ] Actually, stopping might not be a bad idea, if only until they're finished.

[ ] Maybe you just need to find a different thing to talk about? Maybe something like...
- ( )
[X] Actually, stopping might not be a bad idea, if only until they're finished.
[x] Actually stopping might be a good idea

I'm sure the novelty of being torn to pieces has faded by now even for him.
That said, did he accept their 'offer' regarding his body? He said no at first but I got a little lost afterwards.
[x] Actually, stopping might not be a bad idea, if only until they're finished.

Seriously though, what's the big deal? Does she hate maids that much?
[X] Actually, stopping might not be a bad idea, if only until they're finished.

It would be nice not to be in itty bitty little pieces at this moment in time and space.
File 143711602615.png - (217.74KB, 600x800 , 835ab3b47c45f1d45f97ca722b92a41e.png) [iqdb]
Updates unlikely for the next couple days.

Here is a bunny-fish.

It is like a regular fish, but better.
[X] Maybe you just need to find a different thing to talk about? Maybe something like...
- (X) Ask about the whole battle armor thing. With out using the 'm' word and pissing her off.
- {X} And maybe toss in a little flattery to keep her from slapping our meat.

If it's battle armor, is it from some kind of unit? Is it fire-proof armor, water-repellent, magic-resistant? And it's pretty cute, too.

I want to know why she insist on this. But just diving into it without thought, while in character, will get us extra-destroyed. That's an entire extra more destroyed than destroyed.
File 143858371857.png - (601.04KB, 800x1119 , 1412733907329.png) [iqdb]
So, I kinda forgot blah blah blah family obligations yadda yadda yadda will try to update etcetera etcetera
File 143976995562.jpg - (2.33MB, 2150x2459 , best newhu.jpg) [iqdb]
I got sick. Now I am not sick.
I was not writing. Now I am still not writing.
But I will soon. Soonish.
Six or seven hours-ish.
File 143988910239.jpg - (1.13MB, 2000x1600 , it's not like they had a blueprint.jpg) [iqdb]
You decided the best thing to do was to keep quiet, if only until they finished. You're not entirely sure why they're doing this for you, but it's clearly not purely out of the goodness of their hearts or any sense of obligation to make up for blowing you up in the first place. Besides, pissing off girls who are willing and able to kill you loses its novelty if not done in moderation, and you feel like you've hit your quota a good dozen injuries ago.

Just when did it all begin, anyway? When did you first feel this strange compulsion? This urge? You were supposed to be smarter than this, weren't you? You would have thought that a certain level of caution was required of anyone who wanted to survive beyond the confines of the village, and yet here you were, kicking over just about every proverbial hornet nest you've come across. You've been drenched, poisoned, peed on by a goddamn rabbit, blown up, possessed, blown up again, and hit in the head enough times that it's amazing your brain hasn't been liquefied, and you're pretty sure it hasn't because you would probably be able to hear it sloshing around inside your skull and that would be really, really, really weird. Especially since you should probably be dead by that point, but then again, you could say the same for a lot of the other things that have happened to you up to this point. After all, you've been you've been drenched, poisoned, peed on by a goddamn rabbit, blown up, possessed, blown up again, and hit in the head enough times that it's amazing you haven't incurred any serious brain damage!

In fact, you are probably extremely lucky to be as alive and intact as you are right now. You've got your eyes, your ears, your arms, legs, and even your dangly bits, though you might be mistaken since you've never seen them without skin before. An arm without skin, sure, that's still mostly recognizable. Horrifying and more than a little disgusting, sure, but recognizable. Shape-wise, at least. You're no expert on muscles and internal organs, despite being an owner of some for most of your life, but you feel as if there is something 'off' about your anatomy as you're gazing down at it, and it's not just the whole 'no skin' situation you've got going on. Maybe it's the shape and location of some of what you assume are muscles? The occasional bulbous pulsating bit you see here and there, the contents of which you don't even want to guess at? Or could it be the unnerving number of eyes you see looking back at you, many from locations you're almost positive eyes do not belong?

Yeah, it's probably the eyes.
That's way too many eyes, you think.
Way too many eyes.
A disturbing number of eyes.
Disturbing, yet not nearly as disturbing as you would expect it to be, which is somehow disturbing in and of itself.
Were it possible to take a survey of your brain, you feel as if at least 90% of it would be saying you should be screaming your recently-reconnected lungs out, while 8% would claim that they find them to be strange comforting and nostalgic, like the feeling of being welcomed home by a loving mother after a long day at school. The remaining 2% would, of course, be 'undecided'.

Seriously, what the hell is with that?

What the hell.


The sudden declaration snaps you back to reality, and you blink as Gengetsu quickly turns and stomps her way over to the door.

?HEY! THE IDIOT'S FIXED!? she shouts out into the hall.

"Sister, I think something is still missing," Mugetsu says, looking you over.

"Yeah, no," the winged sibling says, flatly. "He's done."

"I don't think I am," you chime in, holding up your skinless hands to illustrate your point.

"Nobody asked you!" Gengetsu snorts dismissively.

"No, but I'm telling you, this?" you gesture to yourself, waving your hands vaguely over your body. "This is not 'done'. Not even close."

"See, Sister? He agrees."

"Oh come on!" Gengetsu huffs, stamping her foot. "He's got his stupid legs and stupid arms and stupid everything else where it's supposed to be, right? He can move and talk and all that stuff, right? What else could he possibly need?!"

[ ] Skin
[ ] Clothes
[ ] Dinner
[ ] Eyes
[ ]
[x] Dinner

Though clothes make the man, you are also what you eat. So I think we need food to become what we should be.
[X] Eyes

So we have that whole "eyes on the brain" thing from Bloodborne going, don't we?
[X] Skin and (Placoid) Scales.
[x] Skin
-[x] Clothes
--[x] Dinner

We can only ask them when we're presentable. It wouldn't do to go all skinless.

So he finds the eyes comforting? That. Does scream Yukari. Maybe she mess with the boundary between morality and immortality or some shit?
[X] Dinner
-[X] With eggs.
--[X] And good company.

Dinner's decided, and we DO still (supposedly) like eggs. And we ALSO (supposedly) still want to share a meal with every woman we talk to.
[x] Skin
[X] Dinner
-[X] With good eggs.
--[X] And great company
[x] Clothes
[x] Dinner

Ha, we totally don't need skin as long we have the right clothes!
File 144255326019.png - (393.52KB, 617x1000 , Every single fucking day when i come home this lit.png) [iqdb]
Still alive, folks. New job-related stuff and scheduling have been kicking my ass for the past few weeks. Hoping to work myself back into some sort of consistent sleep schedule. Failing that, I have enough time off coming up that I still hope to get something done within the next six or seven days.
File 144370978524.jpg - (190.00KB, 900x805 , 127943380040.jpg) [iqdb]
>Rest on my lap
Worth it.
File 14437272192.jpg - (654.64KB, 1920x1200 , seven minutes (valve time).jpg) [iqdb]
Okay. I don't know when, and I don't know how, but at some indeterminate point in the future I fully intend to write and hopefully update in some form or another.

I don't know what it will be, but it will probably be something.
Hang in there man, pretty sure it can only get better. In real life, I mean. I would hope so at least.
File 144639587943.jpg - (301.72KB, 789x954 , ITS CHANDLER TIME.jpg) [iqdb]
"Well, actually-"

Suddenly, the door explodes off its hinges, sending chunks of splintered wood flying across the room. How it could do this when you distinctly remember it hanging open just moments ago, you're not really sure, but suppose it's best to not question it.

"Let's go~!" a Yuuka-like voice announces, as a tall, Yuuka-like woman strides into the room, holding an umbrella in her arms in a manner more fitting for a shotgun than something meant to protect against the rain or sun. Stopping next to you, she gazes down at you with an expression you can't quite identify, because you are too busy admiring her exceptionally stylish and comfortable-looking pants to see what expression it is.

They are very nice pants.

"Good work~! Well done~!" the nice-panted woman says, before firming grabbing you by the neck. We're leaving."

What happens next is still something of a blur to you, partly because of how quickly everyone started to talk, but mostly because of how the green-haired woman unceremoniously and forcibly throws you out the nearest window.

As you feel the air rush through your various meat-flaps, you do your best to twist around and take stock of your situation.

Below you, stretching out as far as your eyes can see, is a seemingly infinite sea of red. The sky, if you could even call it that, was now a similarly infinite series of strange red lines crisscrossing over the black void of space.

As you feel yourself rushing towards the blood-red ocean, you realize you only have a few seconds before you splash down into whatever that water-that-might-not-be-water is. You had to do something, and that something was:

[ ] Scream like a little, skinless baby

[ ] Flap your meaty flaps like the wings you wish you had

[ ] Embrace the inevitable with a giddy ?WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!?
[x] Comment on his pants.

Those are some nice pants.

If no write ins:

[x] Embrace the inevitable with a giddy ?WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Drowning in a sea of blood isn't the worst way we've died.
[x] Comment on HER pants.

Those sum stylin pants, gurl!
File 144641714040.png - (109.72KB, 398x345 , 1445607498252.png) [iqdb]

[x] Embrace the inevitable with a giddy ?WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!?
File 144648081889.jpg - (203.61KB, 500x800 , 27ecbe93bfc479d762a317093e763c86.jpg) [iqdb]
> [x] Comment on his pants.
>his pants

This may or may not be taken into consideration.
oh goddammit
[x] Comment on his pants.

Do it
[x] Comment on his pants.
File 145119701677.png - (644.72KB, 600x800 , this is fine.png) [iqdb]
I'm not dead.
Story's not dead.
One more rough patch of a lot of long days back-to-back, but then I will have time to write.
Lots of time.
Because my hours after that are being cut.
Not "a little off the top" cut.
I mean "Drew Barrymore at the start of Scream" cut.
Like, "Shiki meets Arcueid" cut.
"Act 3 of MGS V" cut, even.
My hours are getting cut so hard, I can crawl inside the eviscerated husk to seek shelter from the cold.
Just for a week, though. Hopefully.
So it should be fine.
File 145127499569.png - (608.61KB, 850x1062 , stay determined.png) [iqdb]
Oof. Well, good luck, anon. Hope your work situation ends up all right.
i missed medicine already, i hope she'll appear more
File 14526974332.png - (127.59KB, 772x1034 , WELP.png) [iqdb]
For reasons I still don't quite understand, the powers that be had a last-minute change of heart and decided that rather than giving me almost no hours of work this week, they would instead give me all of the hours.

All of the hours.

So, yeah. Sorry. Updates are going to be a bit longer in coming than I wanted. I might try chipping away at something over the next couple nights, but otherwise I won't have time to get anything significant done for about another week.

My bank account will be happy, but my soul? It weeps.
Hang in there.
I miss Tenshi...
File 145422719296.jpg - (164.04KB, 400x402 , it still ain't kool-aid.jpg) [iqdb]
?NICE PANTS!? you yell out to the nice-panted man, for his pants were most certainly nice.

Nice, and his.
His, and his alone.

Those nice pants were his, and his pants were nice.

Were you to compile a list of the top three words you would use to describe his pants, the first would undoubtedly be 'nice' with 'his' following in a close second.

The third word you would use to describe his pants would, of course, be 'pants'.

You're not very good at describing things, sometimes.

Not always, but sometimes.

Damn, if those weren't some nice pants, though.

Yuuka's were pretty nice, too, you guess. But his? Wow! Those were nice!

You remember when you had pants.

They were nice, too.

Now, though, there were little more than a distant memory, like so many other things you would think of if you had not already forgotten them.

You would feel bad about all the things you have probably forgotten, but you don't think it's an entirely bad thing. After all, if a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet, aren't friends you forget just strangers that are friends you get to meet for the first time again?

That's right! You haven't lost anything! You've gained something! A wonderful thing! The joy of a fresh start! The thrill of discovery! Yes! That is the way to be! With eyes open and arms spread wide, you embrace this world of possibilities for things to learn and re-learn!

Things like 'gravity'! Wheeeeeeee!

Or 'the feeling of belly-flopping into a large volume of viscous red liquid'! Ouchie!

Or, the classic 'you can't breathe while submerged in water or water-like substances'! Hrrkblrblrblrrgh!

As you begin to soak in this newly re-found knowledge and red stuff that is neither knowledge nor water, you realize what it is that you must do! You must:

[ ] GO UP


[ ] "O??EE??"


Sorry for taking so long, folks. No promises about how long the next one will take, but I will try to do what I can, when I can.
[X] "O??EE???
[X] "O??EE???

It returns? THERE IS A GOD!
[x] "O??EE??"

This makes me happy.
[x] GO UP

As much as I liked this short distraction I would like to go back to the others and see how they are doing.
[x] GO UP

File 14544404017.png - (152.63KB, 360x420 , everybody's looking for something.png) [iqdb]
Deeper! You must go deeper!
You have to go deeper!

Air? Breathing? You will not let yourself be bound by such trivial things!
You will rise above the needs and limits of the flesh! Rise above them by going under them!

And so you swim!
You dive!
You sink into the crimson abyss!
With all the grace of a bag of rocks, you descend, deeper and deeper!
And just when you think you might stop, you keep going down!

As seconds pass into minutes, your surroundings darken around you, and while you think some of that might be due to the fact that you haven't been breathing all this time, you're sure it's mostly due to the lack of light.

Before too long, the red of the not-water has become black, and what traces of red remain as nothing more than the lines you saw in the sky, crisscrossing above and below you.

Tiny pinpoints of light twinkle all around, and strange shapes flit about like butterflies.
You reach out to grab one, and it crinkles like paper in your hand.
You try to smooth it back out, but it's already too late.
The creases and folds darken into squiggles and lines, writhing about like drunken worms on the page.


A silly question to ask, if it was even a question at all!
If you did not want to do something, why would you be doing it?
That would be just stupid, and you are almost certainly not that!


Now that's just presumptuous!
If anyone knew best about what it was you wanted to do, you were sure it was you and not some silly little squiggles on some silly little piece of paper in the some silly little dark void of space and silly red lines!
Even if you don't know where you're going, the discovery is part of the fun!


Nonsense, you think!
'Bad' and 'good' are merely matters of perspective!
What is bad for one could be good for another!
One man's pebble is another man's means of self-defense!


But you must do this!
You're so close now!
You can see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Or bottom, as it were!
A brilliant yellow light, shining like a beacon in the dark!
A beacon that sends your guts churning with an ominous sense of foreboding, but shining nonetheless!


When you get right down to it, who is really 'ready' for anything?
Life doesn't wait for you to prepare for what it throws your way!
You have to react!
Take whatever Life lobs at your head whenever it may do it, lest you get a cinder block bouncing off your skull!


Indeed, you can see another light above you.
A cool blue light, shining as brightly as the yellow one below you.
Looking at it fills you with a sense of peace and familiarity.


Despite the lack of anything besides lines and lights all around you, you can't help but feel as if you were at some sort of crossroads, with two paths stretching out before you.
One path, in front of you, and the other path behind you.
So, not really a crossroads at all, now that you think about it.
More like a tunnel, really.
A tunnel going vertically instead of horizontally, which would be more like a hole if you wanted to get really technical about it.


But wait, there is another light you see!
A bunch of lights, actually!
Between the blue above and the yellow below, a cluster of red lights are now glowing all around you, flitting about on wings like fairies.


Oh, and they're getting closer!
Closer and brighter!
So much brighter!


[ ] BLUE [ ] RED [ ] YELLOW


What kind of time do you want to have?

Is this the moon? I hope this is the moon. If it is, that means blue is earth and red is... a place! Involving... ...well, it's not really been covered yet. We'll assume American clowns and bad taste.

There is also a distinct possibility we're going to dye someone's hair with these! Are we ready to dye our hair? Only time will tell!

Also, I just want to say, !H8UfLAg.DQ, that you were one of the people I think of when I try to be crazy in my writing! Recently started my first story here, and it's fun to just be insane.

Mind you, I rarely think of you these days, but I did hold a torch of hope that you would return.

It's good to have you back.

Totally didn't start to forget about you!

I thought of you at least every month, even!
Now I remember why I stopped reading this story like 5 times already. I always come back eventually though...

[x] RED

Are we ever going to go back to the shrine, maybe to find a knocked out Tenshi after her fight with Kanako, and continue telling her our story?
Changing vote to
[x] BLUE
[x] Blue

You're blue now. That's my vote.

I'd like to have a bad time.
File 145446730672.png - (1.71MB, 1400x1400 , 65466d6934a4ccdaa4dc564dc40eaa69.png) [iqdb]
>I'd like to have a bad time.

I'd rather have a lunatic time.

File 145452095491.jpg - (111.97KB, 850x637 , HOLD IT.jpg) [iqdb]
I should have mentioned this before, but I'm purposefully leaving this particular vote open for a few days to make sure anyone who wants to vote or reconsider their vote can do so. Think carefully, or don't.

At least one choice will return us to our irregularly-scheduled meandering shenanigans, so if that's what you want, you don't have to worry. Even picking blindly, you've got a one-in-three shot of getting it, at the very least.

At least one of the other choices, however, is a bit more, shall we say, "point of no return"-ish. No "game over" or "Bad End", I promise, but the status quo might be in for a bit of a thrashing.
File 145453066014.gif - (0.97MB, 176x135 , panic2.gif) [iqdb]
>At least one of the other choices, however, is a bit more, shall we say, "point of no return"-ish. No "game over" or "Bad End", I promise, but the status quo might be in for a bit of a thrashing.
I'd like to turn back now...

I like blue.
File 145454058490.jpg - (33.63KB, 599x512 , 11752625_10207169919269801_9108097011405163760_n.jpg) [iqdb]
>At least one of the other choices, however, is a bit more, shall we say, "point of no return"-ish. No "game over" or "Bad End", I promise, but the status quo might be in for a bit of a thrashing.
File 145454764347.png - (113.64KB, 800x715 , trust me.png) [iqdb]



We done now! Change it! We haven't properly woo'ed Tenshi/Koishi/Literally everyone yet.
[x] BLUE

I feel it! It must be like >>187219
File 145461346333.jpg - (272.33KB, 1024x768 , it's okay - i'm a coward too.jpg) [iqdb]
Well, this looks decisive enough that I may as well call it now rather than later. BLUE it is.

Will probably start writing tonight and then update after that, because doing it the other way around would just be weird.
File 145473322638.jpg - (292.79KB, 1920x1080 , Do the Back Down.jpg) [iqdb]
You're not sure why, but you feel very strongly about heading for the blue light, and out of this place as quickly as possible. Very, very strongly.

Turning yourself around, you scramble your way towards the blue light, paying little mind to anything else but moving forward It did not matter how you looked, or what that strange chittering you hear from behind you was, or what those glowing balls that were now flying past your head were.

Is something shooting at you?

You think something's shooyep, definitely shooting at you.

There is something behind you and it sounds like a lot of somethings and those somethings are shooting at you.

But you pay it no mind!

It's fine! All of this is fine, as far as you're concerned. It is just something to add to your rapidly-growing list of reasons to get anywhere other than where you were right now.

And that is exactly what you do.
Kicking your legs and flapping your arms with all your might, you feel yourself going faster and faster as the light get larger and brighter.

Are you swimming?



Some undiscovered combination of all three?

...you might be onto something with that one.
Truly, it could revolutionize movement as the world understood it!
No longer would anyone be bound to one means of locomotion!
No more would anyone be confined to sea, land, or air!
The world would finally be open for one and all to traverse as they saw fit!

But what to call your new discovery?
Something else?

[ ] It's gotta be ruflswing.
[ ] No way, srunlying all the way!
[ ] They're both stupid, the best name would be _______________
[X] They're both stupid, the best name would be GURANDO VIPAH
[X] They're both stupid, the best name would be MINDGAPING
[x] They're both stupid, the best name would be JIGGLY-JELLOWING
[X] They're both stupid, the best name would be V A P O R W A V E

It's powered by a e s t h e t i c or something, yes?
File 145482635254.jpg - (69.10KB, 700x525 , Never Splash Down 2 - The Splashdown.jpg) [iqdb]
You don't think you like either of those names, actually.
They sound really dumb.
If you were going to name something as great as this, it would have to be something that wasn't dumb.
So you'll name it something else.

Deciding to devote all your energy towards naming the thing that you were doing, you stop doing what you were doing to think about what to call the thing that you were now no longer doing. Unfortunately, your thinking time is short-lived, as you find your attention drawn to the fact that you were still moving.

Despite no longer doing the thing that you were doing to move, you were still moving. Not just moving, either, but moving in a way that was strangely and distressingly familiar...

You were falling.

Even though you were almost positive that you were still going upwards, you were somehow falling while you were doing so.

You were falling up instead of down.

Falling upward, faster and faster, towards a shimmering ceiling of blue light and stuff that was not light.

...what was that stuff, again?

Oh, right. 'Water'.

You were falling up towards a ceiling made of light and water.

Mostly water, from the looks of it.

Lots, and lots of water.


Very fast.


Realizing what was about to come next, you close your eyes and adopt your best diving posture, which admittedly isn't all that good but it's not like you've ever had access to any sort of professional instruction and this really isn't the time to be thinking things like this is it you think and so you stop thinking about it or anything else besides not painfully belly-flopping again and the water you were about to be falling into.

Except you're already in water, aren't you?

You're in water.
Falling up.
Into more water.
That isn't the water you were in.

You think you're confused.

You think you're going to stop thinking about this.

Stop thinking, and just focus.

Focus on falling.

Focus on the water.

Focus on the water, and feeling of it all around you.

It feels like water.

Wet, watery, and very...

[ ] Hot

[ ] Cold

[ ] Quiet

[ ] Loud
[x] Loud
[x] Loud
[X] Loud
[X] Loud
I'm hype.
[x] Quiet

Shhhh! No yelling in the library!
File 145940605726.jpg - (55.47KB, 500x481 , possibly relevant to thing.jpg) [iqdb]
This is not an update.

As bad as I feel about posting something that isn't an actual update after going so long without an actual update, and I really do, I feel like I should say something since this pertains to a possible actual update that may be coming in the relatively near future.

I would like to do a thing. A thing for the next update and possibly subsequent updates. A thing that I may have done before, and have kind of an itch to do again, if only for a little while. It might not exactly move things forward much, story-wise, but at this point I think even running in place is better than not running at all, and anything that gets some movement out of this story's fat, lethargic ass is better than allowing it to just lay motionless on the ground, sprawled out like that really old dog or cat you have to carefully stare at for a few minutes to make sure it's still breathing and isn't just dead.

That said, as much as I would like to do the thing, I'm not sure it's the best thing to do, and as easy as it would be to have just done it without any warning, I feel like forcing it if it's not wanted would be kind of a dick move. And so, I must ask:

What do?

[ ] Do thing!

[ ] Don't do thing!

As for what the thing is, here may or may not possibly be a clue in the attached image.

I think I know what thing you intend to do. Do the thing.

In fact, [X] do the thing.

Because the thing was a fun thing, and the thing will pump a little life into THIS thing. And this thing is a fun thing.
[X] Dao De Jing
[X] do the right thing
File 145942061198.jpg - (31.63KB, 336x320 , 1412551383041-2.jpg) [iqdb]
[X] Do the thing
[x] Make it so
File 145948351625.jpg - (4.69KB, 800x500 , menu.jpg) [iqdb]
[ ] New Day

[ ] Continue...
[x] Continue...

i sure hope this is the medicine option, maybe as our real little sister this time
[X] New Day
[X] Continue
I don't even remember what happened last time we went to school.
[x] New day

Reboot! Reboot!
File 145952228621.jpg - (81.75KB, 978x737 , the story thus far.jpg) [iqdb]
You lived with Medicine and her mother, a nice lady and questionable cooking who took you in and who absolutely didn't try to ever poison you during your upbringing. Not at all.

Medicine, your little (non-blood related) sister figure, basically adores you and considers you to be one of the rare few who shall be spared when the time comes to rise up and purge the land of the oppressors and one of the only people she can go to when she has a problem.

Koishi, your friend with lots of love to give and zero respect for personal space, came over to wake you up and remind you that she likes you and thinks you should come over to her house and fuck her sister. And your sister. And her. And her. But maybe not her? Nah, her too. Has been voted "Most Likely To Stick Her Tongue Down Your Throat" unanimously by virtually every single class she's been a part of.

Cirno, the weird little girl with ice coming out of her back and a habit of throwing things at your head and calling you her pupil greeted you on your way to school by throwing things at your head and calling you her pupil. You have no idea why she does this, but are certain it has nothing to do with karma in any way.

Tenshi, your friend who denies being your friend and frequently complains about how much you annoy her yet continues to hang out with you, was in one of her "chase you with a sword" moods, which she expressed via interpretive dance, which just coincidentally happened to look a lot like she was actually chasing you with a sword.

You were attacked by/ran out in front of a large vehicle that may or may not have actually existed, went to the cafeteria with Koishi while the others went off to do their own things, and was denied eggs by a lunch lady who totally wasn't an oni and might not have even been a lunch lady, either.

Then things got weird.
Can't imagine what exactly counts as 'weird' in this context
File 14596075251.png - (1.07MB, 700x1050 , never say never i guess.png) [iqdb]
That was one of the main things you remembered from that first day, standing in that crowded auditorium. More than the heat, more than the vast array of oddly-colored hair you saw both in the crowd and onstage, and even more than the ever-growing feeling that there was something very unusual about this school you had found yourself enrolled in.

It was loud. Very, very loud.

"Alright faces, shut your yaps and we'll get through this faster." The teacher's voice boomed through the auditorium's loudspeakers, her authoritative tone directing all attention to her in a way that would have been more impressive if the giant, winged eyeball she had just climbed out of hadn't done that for her already. "First of all, look to whoever's standing to your left. Now, look to your right."

Following her instructions, you saw the rest of your classmates doing the same, the multicolored sea of hair shifting as heads twisted and turned to look at one another. As you gazed at the crowd, fighting the urge to start counting how many of each color you could see, you suddenly realized what had been bothering you. The funny feeling you had started to have right about the time that little girl tried to bite you, and started feeling even more strongly when you saw that horned girl bench-pressing that van in the parking lot...

"Okay, eyes back up here, people! Now, if you noticed that you or anyone next to you has wings, horns, fangs, claws, tails, or any other obviously non-human traits, they're probably not human. If this is somehow a surprise to any of you here, then congratulations! You've just been clued in on the BIG secret that's only been explicitly stated in each and every single registration form and liability waiver your parents would have had to view and sign off on to get you into this madhouse in the first place! So there you go. The school's full of monsters. You don't need to sneak around here after hours or break into our offices to unravel the vast conspiracy that we've tried so hard to hide that it's printed on the front of all of our pamphlets."

You were surrounded by girls.
You were in a school auditorium filled entirely girls.
Well, not entirely. You were sure you glimpsed a couple guys here and there among the throng of fancily-dressed females, but you don't really remember seeing much of any of them after that.
But aside from them? Girls. Girls all around you!
Cute girls!
Pretty girls!
Short girls!
Tall girls!
Suspiciously young-looking girls!

While there was certainly some part of you cheering at this turn of events, you couldn't help but feel something else dampening your urge to pump your fist in the air. A cold, primal feeling, creeping out from deep inside and sinking into your guts.

The type of fear that comes with the realization that you were currently in a room completely surrounded by the most dangerous creatures ever known to Man.

You were surrounded by girls.

In a situation like that, you did the only thing you could do...

[ ] Kept calm, and acted natural. They were watching, and they could smell your fear.

[ ] Politely excused yourself, and got out of there fast.

[ ] Broke down sobbing, and curled into a fetal position.

[ ] Fainted.


Vote was tied, flipped a coin.
Let's do this.
[X] Kept calm, and acted natural. They were watching, and they could smell your fear.
[x] Fainted.
Nosebleed optional.
[X] Broke down sobbing, and curled into a fetal position
[X] Kept calm, and acted natural. They were watching, and they could smell your lust.
[X] Kept calm, and acted natural. They were watching, and they could smell your fear.
[x] become one of them
[x] Kept calm, and acted natural. They were watching, and they could smell your fear.
[x] Kept calm, and acted natural. They were watching, and they could smell your fear.

Huh, don't think Rika's showed up before. Anyway, let's see where this goes.
File 145969934187.png - (313.44KB, 900x700 , more to come.png) [iqdb]
Of course, you kept calm as best you could, considering the metaphorical viper's nest you were standing in. Girls didn't simply sense fear, they practically lived off of it. Thrived off it. If you had allowed your fear to overcome you, you might not have made it out of that auditorium alive.

And so you were calm. Cool. Completely and utterly at peace with your surroundings.
You did not panic.
You did not scream.
Or faint.
Or even let out the tiniest yelp of surprise when you felt someone tugging on your sleeve.
Any claims to the contrary were nothing but lies and slander.

Lies and slander!

Because you were so calm, and certainly did not make any sort of noise at the sudden feeling of someone tugging on your sleeve, you absolutely did not feel any sort of relief at the discovery that your sleeve-tugger was none other than your little sister.

Your dear, sweet, adoptive little sister, who you were absolutely not relieved to see, and so did absolutely not make any attempt to hug her right there, on the spot.

Not at all.

Not even a little.

...oh, who are you kidding? You hugged her.
You hugged the hell out of her.

But not out of fear or relief or anything like that!

No, this was a hug of affection!
A perfectly normal thing to do, no matter how you looked at it.

...and you were sure there were quite a few people looking at it, right at that moment, judging from the mixture of snickering and hushed 'aww'-ing you could make out despite the announcements that were still blaring out of the loudspeakers.

"...to reiterate, the dead are not coming back to life to walk the Earth and feast on the flesh of the living. Those are just Taoists, and they mean you no harm. Please do not attack the Taoists, they will not try to eat you. If you feel any concerns for any reason, please discuss them with a member of the faculty first. On a related note, we would like to remind everyone that arson is considered a serious crime, and will be dealt with accordingly...
File 146030395498.jpg - (28.43KB, 442x442 , always before it gets good.jpg) [iqdb]
"A-ahum, h-hey..." A voice timidly calls for your attention from somewhere next to your head, its nervous quiver a good match for the hesitant tugging you can still feel on your sleeve.

Though you were somewhat irritated to have any dream interrupted, even one about something as mundane as your first day of school, you suppose it's just as well that it was stopped before it could take one of those weird turns where you realize you're naked and everyone laughs as your teeth fall out. Or everyone starts to chase you while your teeth fall out. Or everyone strips their clothes off, and you all wind up in a big, sweaty, naked pile in the middle of the floor. And then your teeth fall out.

...it better not have been that last one you think to yourself. Even with the whole 'teeth falling out' bit, having that particular dream interrupted would have kinda pissed you off.

"E-excuse me, um, but could you please..."the voice calls again, quashing any hopes of being allowed to quietly return to sleep and picking up where your dream left off.

Not that it usually works out that way for you, but you could still hope, damn it!

After all, you already had everything you needed for a comfortable rest. A nice mattress against your back, a cool pillow under your head, and even something to wrap your arms around and snuggle up with. Truly, the perfect recipe for a nice snooze.

Although, it feels as if the thing in your arms isn't entirely willing to cooperate, if the way you could feel it uncomfortably squirming against you was any indication.

A shame, really, since it really did feel like it would be nice to hold while you slept.

Nice, and comfortable, and also quite..

[ ] Warm and Soft

[ ] Smooth and Silky

[ ] Sparkly and Twinkly

[ ] Definitely Not A Vampire
[X] Smooth and Silky
[X] Sparkly and Twinkly
[x] Sparkly and Twinkly

Not quite sure who each of these would be, but only one way to find out.
[X] Smooth and Silky

The temptations of silk are too strong to resist.
File 146034924350.png - (79.76KB, 450x500 , 52894199_p13.png) [iqdb]
Well, if you like, I could offer a few hints:

At least one of them is someone you've met before.
At least one of them is someone you almost met, but didn't.
At least one of them is someone you have never met, and quite possibly never will
At least one of them is definitely not a vampire.
[x] Definitely Not A Vampire

i say its doremy
[X] Sparkly and Twinkly
[x] Definitely Not A Vampire

Seems legit.
File 146039130324.jpg - (130.25KB, 350x439 , the story will now self-destruct.jpg) [iqdb]
Calling it.
Sparkly and Twinkly.
File 146272214262.jpg - (360.10KB, 800x700 , I'm not dead yet damn it.jpg) [iqdb]
You open your eyes to twinkling lights, and see a strange pair of branches stretching up towards the ceiling. A colorful array of crystals dangle from each one, suspended by unseen strings, and lightly tinkling as they sway and bump against one another

They were, without a doubt, the second strangest wind chimes you had ever seen.

Yes, even taking into account the way they appeared to be growing out of the back of the girl you were currently lying in bed with, and holding in your arms. Though, at a glance, her blonde hair reminds you of your dear little sister, you think you would have noticed if Medi had something like that sprouting out of her backside.

Oh, you think to yourself, as the realization finally strikes you.

You were lying in bed, hugging a total stranger.

How awkward.

How uncomfortable.

So awkward and uncomfortable, you can't help but feel as if you should do something to relieve that awkwardness and discomfort.

Something like...

[ ] Introduce yourself! Strangers are just friends you haven't yet met, after all!

[ ] Strike up a casual conversation to ease the tension! Situations are only as awkward as you make them!

[ ] Let her go and apologize profusely! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry...

[ ] Hug her harder, and go back to sleep! Your mother didn't raise no coward! Granted, she didn't raise you at all, really, but still!

[ ] Scream, push her out of bed, jump up, and run out of the room as fast as you can while continuing to scream! A.B.S.! A! Always! B! Be! S! Screaming! Always Be Screaming! Always be screaming!


It's funny how things have a way of perfectly lining up to dash whatever plans you might have had, isn't it? Things that are, admittedly, more important than typing away on some silly little story on the internet.

Still kinda pisses me off, though.

That said, I will continue to try to do whatever I can, whenever I can. I might try to aim for smaller, bite-sized updates for a time, and see if that makes it any easier to fit in an update before work since I can't count on having the time or energy to do it after work now.
[X] Introduce yourself! Strangers are just friends you haven't yet met, after all!
[X] Strike up a casual conversation to ease the tension!
[X]"Hi there, what's your opinion about the Free Hugs campaign ?"
[X] Strike up a casual conversation to ease the tension!
[X]"Hi there, what's your opinion about the Free Hugs campaign ?"
[X] Strike up a casual conversation to ease the tension!
[X]"Hi there, what's your opinion about the Free Hugs campaign ?"
[X] Strike up a casual conversation to ease the tension!
[X]"Hi there, what's your opinion about the Free Hugs campaign ?"


Hugs toward the people!
[X] Hug her harder, and go back to sleep! Your mother didn't raise no coward! Granted, she didn't raise you at all, really, but still!

Hug Every Living Person
[X] Strike up a casual conversation to ease the tension!
[X]"Hi there, what's your opinion about the Free Hugs campaign?"
[X] Strike up a casual conversation to ease the tension!
[X]"Hi there, what's your opinion about the Free Hugs campaign ?"

>Granted, she didn't raise you at all, really, but still! ;_;
[;_;] Hug her harder, and go back to sleep! Your mother didn't raise no coward! Granted, she didn't raise you at all, really, but still!
File 146302987155.jpg - (690.12KB, 2480x3507 , would you like to take a survey.jpg) [iqdb]
"Hi there," you cheerfully greet the girl in your arms, trying your best to play off this situation as casually as possible. "What's your opinion on the Free Hugs campaign?"

"Huh?! The wha-" the girl says with a start, clearly taken aback by your sudden outburst.

"The Free Hugs campaign!" You press on, as the bullshit-spewing engine that is your mind wakens and begins to fire on all cylinders. "In order to spread happiness and relieve the stresses of everyday life, a lucky someone is randomly selected to receive a complimentary hug, completely free of charge and with no obligation!"


"However! To assess the effectiveness of our campaign, we need input," you ramble on, your attempt to sound casual all but forgotten as you get caught up in your own enthusiasm. "That's where you come in! On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your hugging experience today?"

"I-I -I u-um-?" the wind chime girl squeaks, before suddenly turning into a quartet of bats. Frantically letting lose a rapid-fire series of squeaks and clicks that somehow sound vaguely like 'I'vegottagodosomething,' the bats flap out of your arms and out of a nearby open window.

Sitting up, you stare at your surroundings for a few moments, and ponder over what just occurred. You woke up to find yourself hugging a girl you did not know, while lying in a bed that was not yours, yet was not unfamiliar to you.

The lumpiness of the pillow.
The uncomfortably firm mattress.
The oddly-stained privacy curtain

You were in the school infirmary.

You're not sure how many times this makes it, but the fact that you have long since ceased to be alarmed by it strikes you as something that should be disconcerting in and of itself.

"True, but then I might say the same about my reaction to the way you mumble to yourself like that," you hear a voice say from the other side of the curtain. "So I shouldn't judge. Much."

[ ] Hello darkness, my old friend...

[ ] What's up, doc?

[ ] Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!

there are no other options
[X] What's up, doc?
[x] Hello darkness, my old friend...
[X] What's up, doc?

We need input for the campaign, and by god, we're going to get it!
can't not pick the hug option
[X] What's up, doc?

The one time we need to pay attention to the guy behind the curtain
[X] What's up, doc?
File 14638478657.jpg - (0.97MB, 1011x1680 , the doctor is out.jpg) [iqdb]
"What's up, doc?" you ask, fighting back the urge to jump out of bed and continuing your just-made-up campaign of hug distribution. Considering who you were dealing with, you know that would be a very bad idea.

A very, very bad idea.

You can already picture the scenario in your mind.
The feel of the curtain in your hand as you draw it aside.
The glint in the eyes of your target as you rush towards her, arms outstretched.
The sudden feeling of weightlessness as she sends you flipping through the air with a perfectly-executed reversal, giving you mere moments to regret your course of action before you are slammed to the ground and have your arms painfully wrenched behind you.

If you were lucky, she might not even break them this time.

Though, even if she did, you know she could just fix you right up again.
One of the perks of being as knowledgeable about fixing injuries as she was at creating them, you suppose.

Either way, the lesson you learned that ill-fated day you snuck up behind her remains etched in your memory.

Never fuck with a school nurse who has been to war.

"Oh, where to start?" the bunny-eared lady in the white coat says as she draws open the curtain, her eyes gazing at you with a mix of mild amusement and not-so-mild annoyance. "The number of visits you've made to my office just this month? The amount of paperwork I have to fill out on account of those visits? The amount of packs I'm going through in a day because of the amount of paperwork I have to fill out on account of, well, you get the picture, right?"

"I had another episode?"

"You had another episode," she replies, grabbing her clipboard from her desk before sitting back down into her rolling chair. "Do you remember anything about what happened?"


[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] Maybe
[X] No
[x] I suppose I can give you a recap? >>187854 and then I had a dream about the first day of school and suddenly Little Miss Wind Chimes is on top of me.
[X] Yes

Doctor Scary Bun is a totally good person to tell our problems to.
[x] Maybe
[X] Maybe
[X] Did I ask the wrong person out for dinner ?
File 146471421271.jpg - (251.19KB, 1024x1449 , there will be no more AHHHHHHHH.jpg) [iqdb]



"You 'maybe' remember how you wound up on the kitchen floor, surrounded by knives?"

"Maybe, yes."

"Oh, I can't wait to hear this," you think you hear her mutter, as she puts pen to paper. "Alright, go ahead. What happened?"

"Well, I went to the cafeteria to have some breakfast, and they didn't have any eggs," you say.

"And then?" she asks, clearly wanting more out of you.

"I was disappointed.."

"And then?"

"I was very disappointed," you tell her, unsure what else there is to be said. After all, you wanted something, and you could not have it. That's all there really was to it. You got no eggs, she got no answers.

Life just isn't fair, sometimes.

"Right. Okay," the bunny-eared nurse begins, as she jots something down on her clipboard. "I know we've gone over this before, but short of getting yourself on some medication, the best way to reduce these episodes you keep having is to try to reduce your stress. Try some breathing exercises. Join a sports club. Stop getting so worked up over the cafeteria's menu."

"I really like eggs, Doc."

"And I like not seeing the same students being carried in here on a weekly basis, or putting themselves on track for a stroke or heart attack before they graduate," she replies, flatly. "That's what adulthood is for."

"B-but, eggs-"

?In any case,? she continues, talking over you. "Aside from a small bump from the fall, you seem to be fine. I can give you something if there's any soreness, but if there's nothing else you need you should probably get yourself to class. Just make sure you have something to eat at lunch, okay? No more passing out today."

[ ] Do as you're told, like a good boy.

[ ] You can make no promises.

[ ] Never mind lunch, how about dinner?

[ ] Actually, you think you still need to rest a little longer.

[ ]
[X] Never mind lunch, how about dinner?

Smooth as silk
[X] Never mind lunch, how about dinner?

I'm sure DtRT anon has asked the good doctor this in this alternate reality before, but this option must be chosen.
[x] Never mind lunch, how about dinner?
[x] Never mind lunch, how about dinner?

Hey good lookin', who's cooking? Hopefully you.
File 146505653031.png - (260.85KB, 707x1000 , gj.png) [iqdb]
A question crosses your mind.
A question you had never asked anyone before.
A question that, somehow, you felt you should ask.

No, more than that, you had to ask.

"Forget about lunch, how about dinner?"

"Yes, of course you should have something to eat at dinner," she replies, clearly not grasping your meaning.

"No, no, I mean you and me," you explain, leaving no room for doubt as to what your intentions were.

Your heart was pounding.
Drops of sweat dripped down your face.
You were nervous, and yet you also felt somehow at peace.
It was as if something you had been lacking had been restored within you.

You felt complete.

As you gazed into the bunny-lady's eyes, you knew that you had just done the right thing...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"...and then she started laughing really loudly and kicked me out of her office and locked the door.."

Everyone at the table simple stares at you, each of them wearing a different yet somehow similar expression.

"Also, the laughing kinda sounded like crying after a while."

"My god, you are such an idiot sometimes," Tenshi finally says, followed by most of the rest of the table uttering various sounds of agreement.

"That was indeed ill-advised," the white-haired swords-girl politely agrees, nodding.

"That was fucking stupid," Parsee agrees, less politely. "You fucked up, dear.."

"Wow, just.... just wow..."the blonde girl whose name eludes you says after moment. "Hey, are you gonna eat that?"

"Here," you reply, sliding your plate over to her, no longer feeling much of an appetite. "I don't get what the problem is. It was a perfectly honest and innocent invitation to share a meal together sometime, that's all!"

"You really don't get what was wrong with that?!"

"Is it because she's faculty?" you ask, supposing there could be rules against that sort of thing.

"No, dumbass, it's because- hey, stop that!?

Suddenly lunging across the table with lightning speed, Tenshi delivers a solid chop to the head of the blonde girl, causing her to release your arm with a pitiful yelp.

"B-but he said-"

"He didn't say you could chomp down on his arm, you little blood-sucker!"

"But I'm thiiiiiirsty!" the blonde girl sadly whines, her black wings drooping lower and lower down her back.

"Then go get something at the counter!"

"It's not the saaaaaaaame!"

[ ] Steer the topic back to the nurse. If you did something wrong, you'd like to know what it was.

[ ] Forget the nurse, what was the deal with that wind chime girl? That was weird.

[ ] Come to think of it, you haven't seen Medi for a while. Where could she be?

[ ] None of that other stuff matters. You know what does matter? Trucks.
[X] Come to think of it, you haven't seen Medi for a while. Where could she be?
[X] Steer the topic back to the nurse. If you did something wrong, you'd like to know what it was.
[x] Steer the topic back to the nurse. If you did something wrong, you'd like to know what it was.

Holy fuck, a chance for introspection from someone else than himself.
This guy has been running in circles for 33 threads.
Also, I'm really happy at this update, I'm not sure why. Is it the new setting? Or the fact that the gang is back together?
[x] Come to think of it, you haven't seen Medi for a while. Where could she be?
[x] Steer the topic back to the nurse. If you did something wrong, you'd like to know what it was.
[X] Come to think of it, you haven't seen Medi for a while. Where could she be

The dinner question is a recurring gag, not a quirk to fix.
[x] Come to think of it, you haven't seen Medi for a while. Where could she be?

this is important
[X] Steer the topic back to the nurse. If you did something wrong, you'd like to know what it was.

Think about it.

Our protag finds out what asking someone to dinner implies. Figures it out, so to speak.

Then he starts asking with FULL INTENT to ask them on a date.
holy shit you're right, character developtment here we go. changing my votes from >>189083 to >>189089
[x] Steer the topic back to the nurse. If you did something wrong, you'd like to know what it was.

Token character-development vote. Also, I'm interested to see what you do with Youmu. And Flan.
File 146574879418.jpg - (215.27KB, 700x500 , BAD protagnoist! No biscuit! .jpg) [iqdb]
"Okay, okay, so asking the school nurse out to dinner was apparently a bad idea for some reason," you interject, attempting to steer the conversation back on-track. "Anyone mind filling me on why? Because I feel like I missing something, here."

Silence once again falls over the table, as everyone looks at you.

"You..."the white-haired girl finally speaks, looking dumbfounded. "You honestly do not understand the implications of asking her out?"

"Aside from 'we're both probably going to be hungry later, so maybe we could do something about that together'? Um, no?"

"A-and you know nothing of the rumors surrounding her? Nothing at all?" she asks, with disbelief.

"Well, I think I heard something about her being an alien, or something," you admit, unsure of where the swords-girl was going with this line of questioning.


Could it be true!"
Could the bunny-eared school nurse really be an alien!"
Could your innocent invitation to dinner have been construed as something inappropriate or even insulting?!
Have you unknowingly committed some grave interplanetary faux pas?!

You express this concern to the table, and are greeted by even more silence, along with the sight of Tenshi making that expression she makes when she is clearly resisting every urge in her body to hit you repeatedly.

"Dear, darling, please just stop talking for a little bit," Parsee says, rubbing her temples in that way she does whenever she needs some of her 'happy pills'. ?Sometimes, when a girl likes a guy, it turns out that he doesn't like her in the same way. And that's okay. But then the girl likes another guy, and it turns out he doesn't like her in the same way, either. And then there's a guy who tells her he likes her in the same way, but then goes running off to chase the first piece of ass he sees. And then there are the fucking bastards who make her think they like her, but it turns out it's only a fucking joke to them, and it goes on and fucking on like this for her, every fucking time..."

"Erm, we are still discussing the nurse, are we not?" the white-haired girl asks, uncomfortably.

"Hey. Hey, come on, deep breaths. Deep breaths." Tenshi firmly pokes the now-muttering Parsee from across the table, shooting you the occasional glance.

Taking the hint, you start patting and rubbing Parsee's stiffened back. After a few moments of this, you feel her muscles relaxing somewhat as her breathing begins to slow.

"...yeah...yeah, the nurse..."Parsee nearly whispers, her senses coming back to her. "O-of course, of course, yeah, t-that's what we're talking about..."

"I-in any case," the swords-girl says, clearly now regretting her decision to sit with all of you this afternoon. "It would seem this has been an issue with her since long before she joined the staff, or even transferred here. Her love life, such as it is, has supposedly been little more than an string of disappointment and heartbreak. In such a case, it is no wonder why she would react as she did, and your ignorance of that is both baffling and appalling."

"Um, okay," you say, unsure of how you should respond to that. "But what does any of that have to do with asking her out for dinner?"

"You are serious about this," she replies, flatly.

"Oh yes," you hear Parsee's muffled voice say, her head buried in her arms as she rests on the table.

The girl stares at you in disbelief for a few moments. And then, without saying another word, the girl suddenly reaches into her pocket, pulls out a couple paper bills, and hands them over to Tenshi.

"I told you!" Tenshi says, counting out the money before putting them into her own pocket.

"I am sorry I doubted you, Hinanawi," the swords-girl says, staring at you with awe. "All of those times you skipped out on the club, I had thought you were simply making excuses, and yet, now..."

"And it's like this every day!" Tenshi gestures towards you, her exasperated tone carrying what sounds almost like triumph in her voice. ?Every! Day!?

"Yet, you still...you do not..."the white-haired girl looks back and forth between the two of you, her mind clearly trying to grasp something it does not understand, until, suddenly, something clicks within her. "I understand. You are far more disciplined than I gave you credit for, Hinanawi. I know there is much I have yet to learn, but to witness how much lower the depths of ignorance can go... I shall have to thoroughly meditate upon this."

"You gonna stop bugging me about coming back, now?"

"After you've shown me how much there is to learn from you? Your presence is needed more than ever! However," the swords-girl says, glancing at you. "I believe I can overlook your absences, given your circumstances. All I ask is that you make some attempt to attend, if only once in a while."

?Ehhhh...? Tenshi groans, clearly not enthused with the idea. "I'll think about it, okay?"

"I thank you," the girl says, leaving her seat to offer Tenshi a deep bow.

"Okay, okay, yeah, I get it," Tenshi responds, looking surprisingly uncomfortable from this sudden show of respect. "Back to the problem, now. Now!"

"Ah, yes, of course," the girl straightens her posture, turns towards you, and suddenly thrusts her finger in your direction. "You! When a man asks a lady out to dinner, he is announcing his desire to begin a romantic relationship with her! To ask someone out to dinner without that being your intention creates a false expectation, and to do that to one who has already had her heart broken is nothing but cruel! Your ignorance of this matter is abhorrent, and I hope you reflect upon this!"

For a moment, you're not sure how to respond, but after a moment to think about it, you have to say...

[ ] You get it!
[ ] You don't get it!
[ ] She lost you.
[ ] Is she asking you out to dinner?
[x] You get it!

Time to...

[x] Apologize!
fuck that [ ] Is she asking you out to dinner? option is appealing but no we have been doing this for SEVEN YEARS now

its time

[X] You get it!
[X] You get it!

I forgot how much I loved this story.
[x] You get it!

Agreed, on both counts.
[x] You get it!

Maybe all this time, what the protag really needed was someone who can slice through confusion.
[x] You get it!

Seven years? Really?
[ze] You get it!

Absolutely get it.
[X] You get it!

I can't believe I actually got that to go through...

I can believe even less that our protag might actually learn something!
[x] You get it!

Time to...

[x] Apologize!

As 189488 says
File 146580467662.png - (331.67KB, 720x540 , commencing existential crisis in 5 4 3 2 .png) [iqdb]
No, it hasn't really been seven years.
It's been six years.
Well, almost six years.
Just under a week from being six years.
Six long, meandering years.

Maybe I should do something about that.
Or for that.
Like weeping.
Or, no, not weeping.

Maybe write a small detour taking place in an alternat oh wait, I'm already doing that.

Well, then perhaps a side-story abou ah. Right. Fluffyhead. Untouched for 1 year, 7 months, and 11 days.


That's kinda depressing.
Not nearly as depressing as looking at the date this thread was created, but still.

Weeping it is, then!

But not really.
Self-pity is so last year.
Quiet resignation is what's in now.
Or is that loud indignation?

I don't know.

What I do know is that, whether you've been with this nonsense from the beginning, or picked it up partway through and somehow didn't put it right back down, you are all absolute madmen, and I thank you. I don't know how much longer it will be until the end, or what form it will take back underground to look for a lost contact lens, followed by five threads of you lying comatose and drooling on the floor of Satori's kitchen.
File 146581276545.jpg - (88.44KB, 850x478 , believe in me that believes in you.jpg) [iqdb]
>this whole post
Fuck you, never stop.
Thank you. You are an amazing person for making this story, and I'll follow it to the end.
[x] You get it!

Time to...

[x] Apologize!

[x] Is she offering to teach you to ask someone out to dinner?
[X] You get it!
Is it still an epiphany if someone has to tell you?
Next thread:

Thread Watcher x