"Hello, Anons and Aninas! My name is Yukari Yakumo, Eternally Seventeen Master of Borders and Beauty, and this is my lovely assistant... One moment..."
Yukari Yakumo broke her pose to turn from your screen and back into her gap to complain to her many-tailed assistant to her left, who was using all nine of her fluffy tails to try and hide her face and body. While this was surprisingly effective, it did nothing to stop Yukari from giving orders.
"Ran, you're supposed to smile! And where is my music? You're supposed to supply the anons with music! And come out of those tails right now!"
Ran, for her part, managed to keep her muttering fairly quiet as she pulled a YouTube link from her sleeves and supplied it for anon's use. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDRvnrU0ESQ
Yukari resumed her pose, left hand on her half-cocked hip, right hand forming a v shape over her eyes.
"Hello, Anons and Aninas! My name is Yukari Yakumo, Eternally Seventeen Master of Borders and Beauty, and this is my lovely assistant, Ran Yakumo, my personal shikigami Fox Goddess! Say hello, Ran!"
Ran managed to keep her smile up as she spoke, but only by keeping it forced on to her lips so tightly she had to speak through her teeth.
"Hello, Anon. I am Ran. Pleased to meet you."
Introductions out of the way, Yukari continued.
"Isn't she a doll? Now, you're probably wondering why two beautiful women are here on your screen in text form, correct?"
Tits or GTFO!
[X]Yes, of course I'm wondering why the very picture of perfect, youthful beauty (and Ran) has deigned me worthy enough to speak to!
Yukari giggled at your entirely optional choice.
"Oh, you flatter! Since you're so nice, I suppose I should tell you!"
Yukari snapped her fingers. Ran held up a sign.
TURN DOWN THE MUSHICSH VOLUME FOR FLASHBACKSH.
Yukari did not miss the spelling errors.
"Oh, how adorable! Chen even lishp on paper!"
Ran cleared her throat. Yukari turned back to anon.
"Now, about this visit. You see, I, Yukari Yakumo, have decided to become a Writing Faggot for the November Writing contest thing! It just so happened that the first day coincided with my having a new idea for a story! So, would you like to hear my idea?"
Dammit, writefag, get on with it!
There are no girls on the internet.
[X]Why, I would love to hear all about what goes on in the head of the glorious Gap Beauty!
Yukari blushed and turned her head away, a smile on her face.
"Oh, stop with the flattery, darling! Even if it is true!"
While Ran tried to fight down a tick in her left eye that seemed to be developing, Yukari relented.
"Oh, fine, I'll tell you!"
Taking a deep breath, Yukari [spoiler] got on with it [-spoiler] continued with her story.
"I was playing that Western sandbox game on my computer... Garry's Mod, I believe it was called? Anyway, I was playing this game one day and became very bored. So I loaded up this map in the middle of a snowy forest. Then I began strategically placing Half-Life 2 zombies all over it. Then I placed a couple of Revolutionary soldiers armed with muskets by the spawn point. However, I had an idea at the time. I thought, 'what if one of the girls helped them out?'
while all I could find in terms of fellow Touhou characters as NPCs were Reimu and Remilia Scarlet, I just stuck both of them in together with their own muskets. While the A.I. wasn't perfect, and using a musket is outrageously difficult when you absolutely MUST get a head shot or move like a snail trying to reload for something like ages with a skittering facehugger trying to attach to your head, something caught my attention. Reimu had holed up in a little underground hole with just enough room for a Christmas tree, and Remilia wasn't wandering very far from her. While they both ended up dying while I wandered, since headcrabs are apparently impossible for musket-wielding A.I. to use, the idea of Reimu being able to work with Remilia and forming something that at least resembled a plan on something also close to an even level sounded intriguing. So!"
Clapping her hands together, Yukari prepared to reveal her master plan. Ran began the drumroll, exactly on time.
"I've decided to strip all of your favorite Touhous of their powers and unleash a zombie plague on Gensokyo!"
Ran provided the link to the oh-so-important dun-dun-dun. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW7Op86ox9g
Yukari paused for effect.
"Now, before you get up in arms about all of this, I'll have you know that I've received the written permission of everyone in Gensokyo to participate in my game, as there are rules that will be applied to make sure your favorite character can still be alive and kicking for the next poll contest so someone other than myself might take the number one position for once!"
With yet another giggle from Yukari and a steadily worsening twitch from Ran, the Mastery of Boundaries continued.
"You see, with the help of Gensokyo's resident gods, I was able to create a pocket universe that contains within it an exact replica of Gensokyo, created using a combination of my powers, their powers and Garry's Mod! Therefore, since I had everyone's help with this, nobody can complain that this story is just falling back on 'Yukari messing with Boundaries' as it was a team effort! Also, since I managed to strike a deal with the resident Yama, not only will everything that happens in this pocket universe be off the books, unofficial and unrelated to the cycle of life and death, the Yama herself will be participating as well!"
There was a moment of silence. Yukari turned to her shikigami with an exasperated sigh.
"Ran, I'm terrible at explaining things that aren't evil plots. Can you take over?"
Ran, though her tails were vibrating with rage, gladly took the opportunity to take over and clean up at least some of this mess. Stepping to the front of the gap, Yukari let her shikigami take the spotlight. Ran cleared her throat.
"-The residents of Gensokyo will be teleported to a pocket dimension that is an exact copy of Gensokyo.
-The Yama has agreed to waive any and all actions and deaths that occur in this pocket dimension, and anyone who dies will rest on the shores of the Sanzu River until the game is over.
-The goal of the game is either to be the last survivor standing, or to slay all of the zombies.
-The winner, if it is a lone survivor, shall be granted three wishes from any resident of Gensokyo they wish. The prize shall otherwise be a single wish granted from any resident of Gensokyo. These wishes are consequence free.
-All powers will be nerfed to the point of rarity, and a human and youkai will stand on roughly the same level, save for a considerably toned down version of a power the youkai had on cool-down timer.
-The Scarlet Devil Mansion is providing half of their American Revolutionary Era weaponry for use in this game. Guns and ammunition will be stored semi-randomly around Gensokyo for use.
-Flight will be disabled. It was either this, or create a massive horde of flying zombies.
-Zombies will be created from mindless clones. This is so that no graves would be desecrated in the process of preparation for this game.
-Zombies have a tendency to mutate. At what rate, we aren't certain, but not every zombie is the same.
-Zombies spread infection by biting, just like those ghouls on your American movies. In fact, these zombies will behave more like ghouls, in that they won't stop, or even necessarily start at the brain.
-A participant who is bitten will turn. Only a combination of will and luck will determine how long it takes.
-A participant who dies will physically reanimate as a zombie, though the spirit can watch from the Sanzu River via Gap-cam.
-All contestants will have Gap-cams on them.
-Yukari will also be participating. To ensure she follows the rules and can still do her job, Yukari shall be dividing into two. One body will have all of her power. This body will maintain borders and Gap-cams. The other body will not only be much weaker, but will also be running on Power Save mode.
-All memories, unless wished for otherwise, will be cleansed at the end of the game, save for messages explaining that they participated in said game for however long the game last, and that, as per the rules, they had their memories cleansed to ensure peace of mind.
-Murder is allowed and encouraged.
-Sex is allowed and encouraged. In the event that sex occurs, the event will be broadcast over separate, private Gap-cams labeled 'at'.
-Rape is allowed and encouraged. In the event rape occurs,
-Kaguya/Mokou is allowed and encouraged.
-Littering is allowed and encouraged.
-Thievery is allowed and encouraged.
-The Scarlet Devil Mansion is allowed and encouraged.
-Friendship is allowed and encouraged.
-Jolly Cooperation is allowed and encouraged.
-Alliances are allowed and encouraged.
-Double-crossing is allowed and encouraged.
-Backstabbing is allowed and encouraged.
-Moriya Shrine Conspiracies are allowed, but only if there are at least two other conspiracies already in play.
-Erin's shady drugs are allowed, but only as a power, and will therefore be nerfed.
-Jaywalking is allowed and encouraged.
-Torture is allowed and encouraged.
-Triggering Reisen Udongein Inaba's PTSD is encouraged and allowed.
-Improvised weapons are allowed and encouraged.
-Reisen route is allowed and encouraged.
-Rape slave Reisen route is allowed and encouraged.
-Sado-masochism is allowed and encouraged.
-There may be other author's OC's in this story. If you do not like how they are represented, please, make note of it. And namefag when you do, or the author will assume you're not really the author and take your advice with a grain of salt.
-There will be OC's. They can die. If everything goes right, none of them will be central to the story.
-Kappa are allowed to steal shirikodama."
Ran, done talking, began breathing again. Yukari clapped for her.
"All in one breath, everyone! What a trooper!"
Taking center stage again, Yukari allowed her shikigami to sit back and relax. She had earned it after all that. Yukari continued.
"Now, while the tone is still light, should we meet everyone before I turn everything serious and stop breaking the fourth wall so you can decide who to play, or should we just drop everyone into the thick of things and decide from there? And be sure to specify!"
"Oh! And one more rule before the Border between Story and Vote goes up!
-As this is not only my first story on this site, but also my first written work in two years, let alone my first written work I actually want to write, any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated!
And don't forget! This is for the November Writing thingy! Updates, every day!"
"Let's meet everyone while things are still easy to recognize. Best to meet everyone first! But where do we start?"
"Best to throw everyone in to the thick of it before we decide the player character... But where do we look first?"