Why use one item of three when you can use all of them!

[X] Rub some suntan lotion on the stethoscope, then say something along the lines of "This looks serious, I'll have to see both of you right away!" but make sure the maid stays outside.
Then proceed to take the sisters blood pressure (Upper arms), check their hearts (Upper chest) and check their lungs (The back). Standard stuff for a doctors visit. Then actually give them the sunscreen.

Hahahaha! I love these options man.
As much as I'd love to screw up with Remilia, I don't really want to see her as a Ganguro. A write in would be better but I don't have imagination.

[x] give the spf100 sunblock to Remilia. It's rather expensive though.
-[x] 'Here you go. This is as potent as they get so the price is XX. I don't usually offer it because it's so expensive, but I assume that a girl of your status can afford it.
Of course, I may be wrong. Want me to deduct the price from the SPF 75? '

[X] Walk out there.
[X] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[X] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[X] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

Time to lecture a vampire on the use of sunblock. Who knows, maybe she'll learn something. Probably not. "Special" consultation fee because she wasted our time and made a scene.

[X] Walk out there.
[X] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[X] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[X] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

I like the feel of this one.

[x] Walk out there.
[x] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[x] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[x] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

[x] Walk out there.
[x] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[x] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[x] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

Works for me~!

I'm liking this already.

[X] Walk out there.
[X] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[X] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[X] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

[X] Walk out there.
[X] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[X] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[X] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

This doctor's got a pair of them

ahahahahaha

[X] Walk out there.
[X] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[X] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[X] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

>>117477
Pair of SOLID LEAD ones.

[X] Walk out there.
[X] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[X] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[X] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

[X] Walk out there.
[X] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[X] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[X] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

>There was a third Mayohiga though. You found that out later, and even now, you still remember opening that old door and stepping into a lady's bath. The lady had amended that, though and the door now opened into a rural village. But that's a story for another time.

I think he caught an eyeful of Yukari.

This story seems far suited to go in /others/ than here. But you might as well take this thread to autosage and start the second one there, with a link in this one of course.

Nice start alright.

>>117599
You mean brass? Lead would not be a compliment.

>>117701
No, I mean lead.

Because they'll kill him eventually

[x] Walk out there.
[x] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[x] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[x] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

And so our adventure begins as House.

[X] Walk out there.
[X] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[X] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[X] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

My mistress is going to kill me, but I just can't resist laughing at this.

[X] Walk out there.
[X] "Miss Scarlet, sunblock is only a preventative measure. The Sun Protection Factor is not how many minutes you can stay out in sunlight before sunburning occurs, but how many times longer it will take compared to exposure without sunblock. Since you and your sister burn in seconds, this sunblock gives you only a few minutes protection. I am not recommending that you stop using it, but that you put it on before going out while continuing to avoid direct contact with sunlight as you normally do. It will help in the case of accidental exposure."
[X] "Now, if that is all, I will get back to the people that came in before you. If not, you will have to wait at the end of the line like everyone else."
[X] Tell the receptionist to charge Remilia a "special" consultation fee.

> And so our adventure begins as House.

Not quite. If we were, we would need a write-in that had more sarcasm and subtle insults.

>>117868
And I think House would have made a pass or remark to Meiling and Sakuya.

Busy busy. So much to do so little time. Isn't it always so?
–

Remilia Scarlet, or the Marquessate di Scarlett as she prefers to be referred to is not the most pleasant of people at times. She's always has seemed overly demanding to you, with an attitude towards the lower classes ( you and everyone else apparently) that seems out of place in these modern times; as evident. You watch glumly as Miss Receptionist bravely stands her ground in the face of the petite terror, bracing her hands against the desk with increasing irritation. This of course, sets Remilia on the warpath. How dare anyone give her that sort of impudence?

Already, your customers, once seated so placidly in the waiting room are sensing a fight brewing. Feigning disinterest, but looking at the confrontation with a unsubtle sort of amusement. First cosplay maids and chinese girls, and two gothlc lolitas - and now they're going to fight? It's almost amusing that the little firework , Flandre, is behaving so well today, reading the news with her companion for the day, a bemused looking fellow, obligingly sharing his newspaper with her.

But the problem is Remilia here. You open your door a fraction's width wider, scanning the scene for her two long suffering servants. You quickly spot them again; they do stand out easily, and to your dismay, they're both not helping at all. Sakura seem quite content where she is, standing quite elegantly at your magazine rack and browsing with some interest. And as for that Chinese girl whose name doesn't come to mind easily, she's busy experimenting with the channels on your waiting room's television. Neither seem particularly inclined to stop their mistress's antics.

Irritation flares, but you do feel some slight sympathy for the two ladies. If they'd been attuned to this sort of thing for so long that it's become unremarkable, you had to give some credit to them. It would certainly explain Sakuya's full head of lush sliver-grey hair perfectly- and the Chinese lady's decision to dye her hair red.

There's a crash. Your receptionist flicnches.

Remilia's slammed her fist onto the desk.

You're not having that.

You stand, and open the consultation room's door, straightening to gain every bit of height you can manage. Appearances would be important . Show the uncivilized little vampire who the boss is over here, nobility or no. Stepping out, you nod politely to your patients, familiar faces you've know for a while.

“Miss Izayoi,” you greet, passing the maid.

She smiles at that, surprisingly; returning your greeting with a slight nod.

“That button turns the volume up.” you mutter quickly as you passing the Chinese girl. “Don't press it.”

She drops the remote clumsily, letting you pass, lat last, leaving Remilia Scarlet standing in your way. The polished red leather of her shoes tap the floorboards impatiently at your approach. A cocky, impetuous gesture, already demonstration which of you would dominate the argument here. You sigh and move in to deal with the problem.

“What seems to be the problem, Miss Scarlet?” You ask, looking down at her as you take the last few steps to the. She glares at that, looking at you as if she were twice your height. Like a predator eying her prey.

“You!” She acknowledges rudely.

“I am most displeased with the quality of your product!” She accuses, stepping towards you and jabbing her finger into your chest. “Look at me!”

You look down at browned peeling skin, and angry red eyes.

A typical sunburn. Common ailment, irritating, sometimes considered healthy and attractive in a person.

“I was informed, by you no less, that SPF 75 is industrial strength! Flan and I didn't even last three minutes in the sun!”

“Miss Scarlet, you seem to have misunderstood how SPF works-”

“I know how it works! 75 minutes! It didn't even last five!” She insists, scowling. Ah. She hasn't read anything on the little bottle at all.

You take a deep breath. Calm would be important here.

“Miss Scarlet. I'm afraid that isn't how it works.” You give a pause at that, but Remilia doesn't snap back at you- a good sign. Instead her eyes narrow suspiciously. “Explain.” She says curtly.

“Look, the SPF'number doesn't indicate how long you can be exposed to the sun, see Miss Scarlet, it just tells you how much longer you can stand the sun than normal.” You continue. “Since you, and Miss Flandre over there, burn up in ah...a matter of seconds, this sunblock will protect you for a few minutes at most .

“It's useless then.” Remilia says, taking an accusing tone. “I can't use it at all.”

“Yes you can- it works doesn't it?” You try to assure her.

If it didn't work, I'd be talking to a pile of ash right now. You add silently. Remilia looks sullen at this.

“...Utterly inadequate.” Remilia grumbles. “Is this the best you can do? If it is...” she trails off into a series of mumbled threats.

“Look, the best we can do is help you with accidental exposure with sunlight, Miss Scarlet.” You continue. “If you'd like to walk around in the sun, I'd suggest wearing some protective clothing- a nice sun hat maybe,” you suggest. You fail to add that her favorite lacy puffy hat doesn't do much for protection asides making her look like a large mushroom.

“...”

No reply. That's enough then.

“Now, if there is nothing else, Miss Scarlet, I need to see to my patients. If you need more sunblock, please check with the receptionist.” You say as you flash Miss Receptionist a wink. A sign for a “special fee”. Remilia could afford it.

“Forget it!” Remilia calls out from your back. “IF you cannot provide anything useful, I'll go to Eientei instead. They're bound to have something useful.”

This stops you, half way through turning back to your work. Both the fact that she's using a threat to go to one's competition, but also....

Eientei. You feel a stab of irritation at that name.

Your self declared “competition.” And a group of snake oil sellers and quacks if you've ever seen one. You've encountered them on occasion, peddling drugs of somewhat dubious origin on the streets of the Gensoukyou's human town. They had been promoting a sort of pill that promises to give you “good dreams” with an aggressiveness that reminded you too much of an opium dealer for you to be comfortable trying it, and when you had asked the rabbits what went into the pills, they exchanged sly glances at one another and concealed a few instances of soft laughter.

You decided that you did not want to know.

Things got worse when they had found out that you ran a clinic too. Implying that they ran one of their own. (Though, your impression of theirs was some manueactory, hidden in the woods somewhere, with lax safety standards and poor quality control. ) They've been actively badmouthing you ever since; you're competition and thus, to be destroyed.

Eientei. If only you could call the authorities down on them.

Now as for Remilia,
--

[] She's obviously doing a bit of drama here. But if she feels that by bringing this up to coerce you, she's wrong.
[] You could rant about Eientei. Well now Miss Scarlet! My medications don't turn you green for instance!
[] Yield. Anything to get her out.
[] Write in something.

[X] "Well, off you go, then."
[X] Did any furniture, flooring, etc. get wrecked in all of this? If so, be sure to send Remilia a bill for that, too.

[X] "If you want to be a guinea pig for their shady drugs, that's your call. I won't stop you. Just remember that sometimes the cure is worse than the disease."
[X] Get back to work.

[X] "If you want to be a guinea pig for their shady drugs, that's your call. I won't stop you. Just remember that sometimes the cure is worse than the disease."
[X] Get back to work.

Although we could still throw in a little proper ranting for good measure.

[x] She's obviously doing a bit of drama here. But if she feels that by bringing this up to coerce you, she's wrong.

[X] "If you want to be a guinea pig for their shady drugs, that's your call. I won't stop you. Just remember that sometimes the cure is worse than the disease."
[x]"Now if that'll be all, Lady Scarlet, I'll get back to my practice."
[x]To receptionist: "You can send the next one in."
[X] Get back to work.

[X] "If you want to be a guinea pig for their shady drugs, that's your call. I won't stop you. Just remember that sometimes the cure is worse than the disease."
[X] Get back to work.

Does this mean we'll eventually see a fight between Anon M.D. and witch-doctor Eirin?

[X] "If you want to be a guinea pig for their shady drugs, that's your call. I won't stop you. Just remember that sometimes the cure is worse than the disease."
[x]"Now if that will be all, Lady Scarlet, I'll get back to my practice."
[x]To receptionist: "You can send the next one in."
[X] Get back to work.

I almost added 'nigger' at the end of that just to be funny and fail in doing so.

On another note, we have the balls to talk down (sort of) to beings of great power, while having a high enough Charisma stat to not get blown to smithereens (at least for now)

[x] "That might be for the best, if you don't appreciate the 'healthy glow' traditionally associated with working class peoples; the tree cover in Bamboo Forest will protect your skin far more effectively than any sunblock."
[x] "Just keep in mind that when people refer to Eientei's shady drugs, they don't mean 'shady' in the sense of comparative darkness. Enjoy your sojourn under the sun, Mlle. Scarlet."
[x] Get back to work.

>A typical sunburn. Common ailment, irritating, sometimes considered healthy and attractive in a person.

By suggesting that she looks better like this and telling her that it's associated with a 'commoner' aesthetic appeals to her sense of novelty and the common desire of modern nouveau riche to identify with lower classes in manner that doesn't take them out of their comfort zone.

Putting down Eientei while also seeming to agree with her means you might keep her business in the future. They have a lot money, and we shouldn't dissuade them from coming to us with real concerns (e.g., Patchouli's anemia).

I think she looks cute in that picture, and to be fair you're still charging her extra for the 'consultation' even if you're not really doing anything for her.

[x] "That might be for the best, if you don't appreciate the 'healthy glow' traditionally associated with working class peoples; the tree cover in Bamboo Forest will protect your skin far more effectively than any sunblock."
[x] "Just keep in mind that when people refer to Eientei's shady drugs, they don't mean 'shady' in the sense of comparative darkness. Enjoy your sojourn under the sun, Mlle. Scarlet."
[x] Get back to work.

[x] "That might be for the best, if you don't appreciate the 'healthy glow' traditionally associated with working class peoples; the tree cover in Bamboo Forest will protect your skin far more effectively than any sunblock."
[x] "Just keep in mind that when people refer to Eientei's shady drugs, they don't mean 'shady' in the sense of comparative darkness. Enjoy your sojourn under the sun, Mlle. Scarlet."
[x] Get back to work.

I like this write-in the most.

[x] "That might be for the best, if you don't appreciate the 'healthy glow' traditionally associated with working class peoples; the tree cover in Bamboo Forest will protect your skin far more effectively than any sunblock."
[x] "Just keep in mind that when people refer to Eientei's shady drugs, they don't mean 'shady' in the sense of comparative darkness. Enjoy your sojourn under the sun, Mlle. Scarlet."
[x] Get back to work.

[x] "That might be for the best, if you don't appreciate the 'healthy glow' traditionally associated with working class peoples; the tree cover in Bamboo Forest will protect your skin far more effectively than any sunblock."
[x] "Just keep in mind that when people refer to Eientei's shady drugs, they don't mean 'shady' in the sense of comparative darkness. Enjoy your sojourn under the sun, Mlle. Scarlet."
[x] Get back to work.

[x] "That might be for the best, if you don't appreciate the 'healthy glow' traditionally associated with working class peoples; the tree cover in Bamboo Forest will protect your skin far more effectively than any sunblock."
[x] "Just keep in mind that when people refer to Eientei's shady drugs, they don't mean 'shady' in the sense of comparative darkness. Enjoy your sojourn under the sun, Mlle. Scarlet."
[x] Get back to work.

Previous vote deleted in favor of brass balls.

[x] "That might be for the best, if you don't appreciate the 'healthy glow' traditionally associated with working class peoples; the tree cover in Bamboo Forest will protect your skin far more effectively than any sunblock."
[x] "Just keep in mind that when people refer to Eientei's shady drugs, they don't mean 'shady' in the sense of comparative darkness. Enjoy your sojourn under the sun, Mlle. Scarlet."
[x] Get back to work.

Testosteranon is a real man.

[x] "That might be for the best, if you don't appreciate the 'healthy glow' traditionally associated with working class peoples; the tree cover in Bamboo Forest will protect your skin far more effectively than any sunblock."
[x] "Just keep in mind that when people refer to Eientei's shady drugs, they don't mean 'shady' in the sense of comparative darkness. Enjoy your sojourn under the sun, Mlle. Scarlet."
[x] Get back to work.

“Eientei?” You say, slowly.

Remilia smiles at that, looking a little pleased at provoking a reaction. A smug, self satisfactory little twitch at the corners of her lips. You're going to give in to her – good business practices and personal relationships and whatnot?

“Sure. Go ahead; I'm sure you don't need my approval.” You say, airily as you're able.

“I see that- what?”

“Well, Miss Scarlet, look here; it is quite evident that you are unsatisfied with the service I'm providing, and,”

You give a pause for dramatic effect. Her smirk slips off her face.

“You yourself have suggested a viable solution to it. I'm a quite sure Eientei can cater to your needs in earnest. With their “mystical lunar alchemy” and all- might be for the best, really.” Remilia visibly pales at the mention of alchemy.

“Which is a pity really- I do like the tan; very down-to-earth healthy looking. Radiant even.” You say.

Remlia avoids your eyes this time. She looks aghast, eyes darting this way and that, alternating looks directed at yourself, and Sakuya. “...What – what gall...” she mutters, though without her usual domineering tone of speech or even sounding offended. Shes does''t even meet your eyes, stepping back momentarily before remembering herself.

“I believe you should know the way better than I, Miss Scarlet- this late in the day, walking in the shade of the bamboo forest ought to be nice- you probably won't need sunblock either.” You add quickly, before she could speak.

Remilia opts to withdraw gracefully. Charisma intact.

“Sakuya, Meiling, Flan!” We're leaving!” She commands, face an angry red brown, agitation showing through her tan at the least. “The good doctor feels he is unable to be of any use.” She adds loudly, turning about in a huff, and stamping off through your storage room's door. Back.

“Yes Mistress,” Sakuya's clear voice sounds out. She immediately bends over to replace her reading material- much to the delight of your male patients you'd imagine. She steps past, elegant as always, inclining her head in acknowledgment- with a smile. The Chinagirl- Meiling, gives one last wistful look at your television set before turning away as well.

“Bye, sensei” she rays respectfully, even as she rattles off in Chinese, as she passes. You gather she's grumbling somewhat.

“Yeah! Bye Sensei!” Flandre says as well, cheery as always. “Can I?” She asks, as she passes the counter.

“?” Oh, yes.The small bowl of sweets.

“Sure, help yourself,” you assent. Anything to get them out.

But even as Flandre puts her hand into the bowl, Remilia's voice, calls from your storage room“ Enough of this wasting time! We're leaving.”. Your watch as heads turn once more, as the two tallest members of the strange party troops out, stepping into your storage room in single file. But Flandre, remains, a look of concentration on her face..

Ah.

:”Which do you want?”

“Strawberry.”

“Ah, here, have two- your sister's calling.” You say, picking out the hard candies with a sigh, depositing them into Flandre's eager hands. She beams. “Thanks, sensei- sorry if onee-sama's being mean to you.” She says, before skipping after her sibling, brown as a berry, like a bright little firework.

You exchange glances with Miss Receptionist; she hides a smile. Hah. Let's all watch the doctor go soft over children shall we? “Back to work, Michii-” you order, half jokingly. “But, lunch seems like a good kidea now, doesn't it?”

“Heavens yes.” She grins a bit. “There are still patients though, Sensei,” she doesn't finish the sentence. Your waiting room is still filled.

“Right, give me five minutes, then send the next one in.”

“Will do.”

You thank her and retreat back to the consultation room- a five minute break. You eyes feel awfully heavy. Dealing with petulant Remilia is always tiresome. Your seat's comfortable, the air conditioner is at just the right temperature...five minutes...

Someone knocks on the consultation room door.

So fast?

Before you answer, the door slides open. Sakuya glides in.

“Eh?”

“Sorry to be a bother, sensei “ She says quickly, stepping in with a sry rustle of fabrics. That skirt seems awfully short now that you're sitting.

“Memory's been slipping lately, “ she continues, stepping to your desk smoothly. Silver grey hair braided neatly and perfect porcelain features fill your vision as she seats herself upon the patient's stool.

“Are you ill?” you ask.

“No, I just forgot something?”

“...?” Love confession? Assassination attempt?

“Asides from my mistress's complaints, we originally had one other reason for visiting today.” She says, hands folded on her stockinged lap. “It's about Miss Patchouli?”

“Oh her?” You remembered. Purple stripes and ribbons You recalled that. Carrying a satchel full of books all over the place.The one you had to hook onto the nebulizer for an hour straight. The image of the petite girl, leaning weakly onto you, breathing in the salbutamol mist with great wheezing breaths was a clear one- if only die to repetition. She had the distinct privilege of being the very first Denizen of Gensoukyo to have opened a medical docket in your clinic. A folder which swiftly grew to an unusual thickness, stuffed full with papers, and scribbled prescriptions.

Asthma, anemia , chronic U.P.T.I, sinusitis, vitamin deficiencies of all kinds. The list went on.

And at the very top of the folder, in bold red characters.

Hypochondriac.

Still much preferable to Remila though. Despite her faults, Patchouli was always courteous; to a fellow scholar, she said once.

“Oh- how is she?” You ask, a little concerned. “I prescribed a salbutamol inhaler the last time didn't I?”

“Well...there was an incident,” Sakuya hesitated. “ A thief managed to get in and made of with a number of valuables- including the inhaler...”

“Valuable...inhaler?” You wondered. Sure, inhalers and the drugs were expensive, but not particular cost prohibitive, or even valuable. Hen again, Gensoukyo was strange like that. “That shouldn't be a problem, Miss Sakuya, ” you begin...

[]”...I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Just wait outside.”
[]”... “I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Some vitamin tablets as well. Just wait outside”

----------
[]”...but, she doesn't need it! She just thinks she does!
[]”...but maybe she should come down herself. It's hard to diagnose in absentia.”
[] Write in...

Less ballsy than I was hoping for, but still good.

[x] “...but maybe she should come down herself. It's hard to diagnose in absentia.”

[x]”... “I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Some vitamin tablets as well. Just wait outside”
[x] “...but maybe she should come down herself. It's hard to diagnose in absentia.”

[x]”...I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Just wait outside.”

{”...I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Just wait outside.”
- {”...but maybe she should come down herself. It's hard to diagnose in absentia.”}}

[x]”... “I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Some vitamin tablets as well. Just wait outside”
[x] “...but maybe she should come down herself. It's hard to diagnose in absentia.”

We shouldn't be a jerk about it; just because Remilia is unpleasant, doesn't mean we have to take it out on the other SDM-ers.

[x]”What kind of person would steal something that important for her health..."It seems that Gensokyo is not free of heartless people as I first thought...”
-[x]“You know what? I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Some vitamin tablets as well. Just wait outside”
--[x] “She should come down herself later if she can. It's hard to properly diagnose in absentia.”

Added a bit of righteous rage. Stealing a frikkin' inhaler is just low.

>>118320
Marisa most likely didn't know what was it was.

>>118321
But who are we to know that

[x]”What kind of person would steal something that important for her health..."It seems that Gensokyo is not free of heartless people as I first thought...”
-[x]“You know what? I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Some vitamin tablets as well. Just wait outside”
--[x] “She should come down herself later if she can. It's hard to properly diagnose in absentia.”

[X]”What kind of person would steal something that important for her health..."It seems that Gensokyo is not free of heartless people as I first thought...”
-[X]“You know what? I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Some vitamin tablets as well. Just wait outside”
--[X] “She should come down herself later if she can. It's hard to properly diagnose in absentia.”

[x]”... “I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Some vitamin tablets as well. Just wait outside”

>Hypochondriac

For which the standard of treatment has always been the placebo. Vitamins & a PRN beta-2 agonist are both pretty close to it.

[x]”What kind of person would steal something that important for her health..."It seems that Gensokyo is not free of heartless people as I first thought...”
-[x]“You know what? I'll just get another set out of the dispensary. Some vitamin tablets as well. Just wait outside”
--[x] “She should come down herself later if she can. It's hard to properly diagnose in absentia.”

A pretty dickish move of Marisa to steal an inhaler.

>>118365
Can a hypochondriac actually be sick?

>>118374
Not that guy but; most hypochondriacs have had a real disease or two once, usually harmful ones, and base their paranoia on their past experience(s)
If you're wondering story-wise, then I'm pretty sure that she has at least 4 very real problems besides that one, which, pretty much, justify her phobia.

>>118388
I think the Doctor might have assumed somethings just due to the fact Patchouli never came to be checked on, having Sakuya tell him things.

>Can a hypochondriac actually be sick?

Yes. That would be part of the reason why you're actually dispensing her the medication and not placebos. That she is apparently satisfied with her treatment is why she got Sakuya to ask for more of it, and satisfaction with treatment is the prime end-point for many 'illnesses' encountered in the primary care setting.

Patchy here suffers from a rare, hybrid strain of Victorian novel disease & medical students' disease, and we could scarcely tell her to choose another major for the former or to move to a drier climate for the latter. I'm afraid the only thing to do is treat her conditions symptomatically and hope she finishes the M- (for medicine) section of her library within the next century.

Anything more at this point would throw doubt onto the salience of the good doctor's diagnosis (the one he's treating for, not the actual hypochondriasis), either causing her to rely on uncontrolled (and possibly harmful) preparations from Eientei, or force the doctor to 'step-up' to a more elaborate diagnosis, with more potent medications with more potent side-effects.

Salbutamol, while causing mild side-effects in reference to placebo, is also a non-steroidal anabolic that should fight some of the muscle atrophy that her choice of lifestyle disposes her to. The most common side-effects are reported by people who don't exercise and who live sedentary lifestyles and are thus unfamiliar with the effect their own adrenaline would have on their body: increased sweating, decreased secretions & GI motility, increased heart rate, physiologic tremor, increased in tone of skeletal muscle. Theoretically the treatment could precipitate a heart attack, just as a brisk walk or climbing an exceptionally long flight of stairs could precipitate a heart attack.

As for the vitamins, vitamin supplementation certainly doesn't cause side-effects in the face of actual malnutrition, and rarely does in healthy people. (You have to take a lot of Flintstones vitamins to die from iron poisoning.)

>I think the Doctor might have assumed somethings just due to the fact Patchouli never came to be checked on, having Sakuya tell him things.

I think it was obvious he had given her a full examination:

>“Oh her?” You remembered. Purple stripes and ribbons You recalled that. Carrying a satchel full of books all over the place.The one you had to hook onto the nebulizer for an hour straight. The image of the petite girl, leaning weakly onto you, breathing in the salbutamol mist with great wheezing breaths was a clear one- if only die to repetition.

He has already given her a diagnosis for the asthma and has seen the effect of the drug he's using to treat it in action, so he can be reasonably sure his treatment is not harmful. Though, calling her in for more frequent tests and dispensing newer medications as they come down the pipeline would be a source of steady revenue!

>You have to take a lot of Flintstones vitamins to die from iron poisoning
Was this a reference to something? I think I remember reading some novels where the supposed suicide was made with a tablet of Flintstones' pills.
>Though, calling her in for more frequent tests and dispensing newer medications as they come down the pipeline would be a source of steady revenue!
You selfish monster. Anyway, from what I've gathered from your post, it seems that the real disease is far from our MD's reach. I'd assume that finding a cure would be important for a 'House' type of doctor. Is our MC that type? I don't think so.

>>118508
I think once he finds out what he's dealing with, then he might be able to get a better doctor to handle that.

But he would do anything to get a leg up on Eirin, so if Eirin promises a cure to said disease, he will most certainly try to find one as well.

>>118508
>I'd assume that finding a cure would be important for a 'House' type of doctor. Is our MC that type? I don't think so.

What? Awh.
And here I was hoping...

>>118564
We can't tell, and House is more concerned with finding out what it is than curing it.

NO UPDATE this is just a bumper asking for a SITREP on this CYOA. I think it has an innovating concept and... I I want to see Evilfwllow's Patchouli and Eirin. Yeah.