Cripple Keine: A Christmas Story SolusLunes 2011/12/13 (Tue) 19:58 No. 240 ▼ File 132380629256.jpg - (474.69KB, 1809x1215 , NO_LAMERS.jpg)
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the abode
Not a creature was stirring, not even a fae;
The braces were set by the doorway with care,
In case she had to make a midnight dash there;
Keine Kamishirasawa was snug in her bed,
While dreams of having working legs danced in her head;
Much without feeling, long after the bones snapped,
She had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
She fell out of bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window she crawled with panache,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little fairy driver, all covered in snow,
Goddamnit she'd got to drinking. Fucking Cirno.
More rapid than eagles her curses they came,
Keine let loose a torrent of profanity, some in God's name;
"Cirno's gotten into my liquor and gotten hammered!
I was saving that for tomorrow, God damn her!
I'll have to stop her before she drinks it all!"
Away to her wheelchair Cripple Keine did crawl.
As rocks that flow down a waterfall sometimes fly into the air,
Keine did fall down her house's two flights of stairs,
She picked herself up and levered back into her wheelchair with a grumble,
Every time she wanted to go downstairs she took a wicked tumble.
And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
Royally pissed, and preparing to crawl back up,
Down the chimney fell Cirno, with a beer, in a full cup.
She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bottle of Vodka in her other hand,
She took a swig as she attempted to stand.
Her eyes -- how unfocused! Keine's alcohol she carried!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her mouth drew back in a gasp-
As she realized she had fallen into the lair of the asp.
Keine growled as she went for the headbutt,
Towards Cirno she dragged herself, denied the use of her foot;
Cirno scrambled away from certain death, slowly approaching,
She realized that upon Keine's alcohol she had been encroaching.
Comprehension dawned, and Cirno laughed quite in spite of herself,
She remembered Keine was a cripple, and had no way of catching her, until Keine levered onto a shelf;
A wink of Keine's eye and a twist of her head,
If Cirno had been slower, surely she would have been dead.
The sword only missed her by a bit,
For she had just jumped back from where Keine had happened to sit.
Quick as a flash, Cirno jumped up and poked Keine in the eyes,
And pushed her off her shelf, knocked her from her rise.
As Cirno ran off with Keine's alcohol tears sprang to Keine's eyes,
Alone in the house, on the floor, she cries.
But she heard Cirno exclaim, ere she vaulted over the ditch,
"Got you good, you old crippled cow-bitch."
Coming soon: The Paraplegic that stole Christmas!