A rare moment of reminiscent Min 2014/10/11 (Sat) 04:51 No. 1796 ▼
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Hello everyone, i am new to this whole writing thing, so i decided to try with a short, wanted to write an actual CYOA, but decided to practice like this(also to test my english since I recently learned to write it), whitout anything else to say, please go easy on me
Today, i was sitting at my usual spot at the stairs of the shrine, drinking tea, today was a unexpectedly tranquil day, no noisy magician coming to make conversacion and/or taking some of my tea leaves, those are not easy to make, no drunky Oni who i have to take care of, no caprichous gap youkai coming to bother, just one of those tranquil days like I used to have in my childhood, when genji was my only company.
Thinking of Genji, i wonder what he has been doing lately, he rarely apears in the lake I released him some time ago, mother used to tell me he tended to go adventuring on his own wharever I wasn't using for transportation, that most be it why he was even better at dodging that i am even today.
Mother, so much time had passed since the last time i see her, for all the i know, she had died in a previous incident when i was too young to remember what was happening at that time , since then, genji had been taking care of the incident resolving until my coming of age, ¿how he managed?, he was the one who teach me how to use the ying yang orbs after the fluke that was my first incident, thought in my defense, no one told me I would been against a fallen angel of death , that was not a good day for me.
People tend to see me as grumpy, i know that much, but, ¿can they blame me?, i had to bear with all kind of irritating people in a daily basis, let see they not starting to grump there.
That may seen a little hipocrite of mine, since I tend to not being that harsh in any of them, maybe that was my mistake in the first place.
Sometimes, i wonder where is the rest of the clan as gone, neither mother nor Genji ever told me about it, oh well, i guess it doesn't matter.
My train of thought gets suddenly derailed has I listen to a familiar voice in the distance "looks like the noisy one is here." I say, whitout being able to stop myself of smile slightly, this kind of thing isn't bad once in a while.
Only once in a while thought.
And, here it is, my very first attend a writing, (also my first at writing in english) so, do anyone liked this?, for this one, i tried to go across the mind of the local incident resolver, who i admit is my favorite caracter, if is there anything i could improve, please tell me.
Dammit!! Min 2014/10/11 (Sat) 05:48 No. 1797 ▼
i found to late that there was a section for short stories, the theme can be mover or is going to get deteled?
Anonymous 2014/10/11 (Sat) 07:12 No. 1798 ▼
> Hello everyone, i am new to this whole writing thing, so i decided to try with a short, wanted to write an actual CYOA, but decided to practice like this(also to test my english since I recently learned to write it)
This is a terrible idea. It's understandable, and you're not the only person to think of this, but it's a terrible idea.
To get better at writing, you must read. Otherwise, you're only practicing doing it wrong.
In your case, the big problem—and the one that isn't excused by not being a native speaker of English—is that your punctuation is atrocious. Other than the use of "¿" and "¡" (apparently invented by the Real Academia Española in 1754), the punctuation conventions of Spanish and English are almost identical... so I infer that your use of punctuation in Spanish is just as bad. (Which means you should read more Spanish, too.)
> i found to late that there was a section for short stories, the theme can be mover or is going to get deteled?
Probably deleted. You should make sure you have a copy.
(Look at it in five years, to see how far you've come.)