FrozenTuna 2009/07/18 (Sat) 10:49 No. 30510
You proceed to ask her some questions (Author's note some may be reworded to keep Anon in character; since he's a fan of the EoSD cast)
First you say "Well, since you're not asking me any questions, I'll have to assume either the details don't matter or you've already done your research."
Yukari smirks as she replies, "Yes I have, since I certainly wouldn't want to send a Eintei fan to the Scarlet Devil Mansion."
You also say "And, since there is about a million percent chance that if I ask about your end goals I'll end up with bullshit being shoveled down my throat--goals which frankly I'm not really all that interested in--I'll cut to the chase, ask a few things, then we can get this show on the road."
Yukari has a bit of a sad face (you have a bit of hard time believing it) as she says, "I'm hurt... but I guess it's understandable. Go on."
You then ask "Right off, I'll tell you that I'll be acting under the assumption your intent is nothing more than to release a random element into a stagnant environment--someone to 'stir the pot' so to speak. Therefore, mysterious notes, clues, and objects? I won't be paying much attention to that kind of thing, so don't waste your time."
Yukari smiles as she replies, "Somewhat, but I'm actually hoping that you might help them out. I do good deeds once in a while. That and it might actually get Remi to cool down about what happened with the imperishable night incident; basically I rigged things so my team was the best. She wasn't that amused at all. But I'll say a few things; first audacity may pay off big. Second you should keep this question in mind: 'Just what is humanity exactly?' And in Gensokyo, the notion of friend with benefits is kinda wide spread. Any more questions?" She says the last sentence with a flirty tone.
You then question "Now what exactly are you offering me here? I mean besides the 'adventure', Are you sure they'd take to me kindly? Since while I hope they'd be nice, but there's a risk"
"They're not bad people who'd kill without reason, and Remilia loves to have something new happen. As long as you keep your head about you, you won't lose it. The offer is a chance to endear your self to one or more of the residents of your favorite mansion. Who knows you might grow stronger and/or 'get to know' more than one girl, but please not like that kid that ended up on the boat that was nice."
"On that note, I'll want protection, and I don't mean the contraceptive kind. You have access to military hardware or shikigami, right?" You then ask.
"Not really and I doubt you want to be seen packing a weapon, since that maid is very quick to kill a threat. Being a normal human is a favorable aspect. Your best defense is not doing anything stupid after all. That and a normal human can't really use much of a familar, so that's a dead end. And you don't need to worry about protection once you've endeared yourself to the folks at the mansion. Remilia is very protective of her servants and such. You shouldn't be so scared, it's not like it's Yuka you'd be dealing with; now she would kill you without much provocation." She answers
You then say, "New threads too. A nice heavy pair of steel-toe boots for one. I have a nice field coat and pair of canvas slacks--wait, what season is it in that hemisphere? Maybe I'll just rack it up on my credit card? It's not like I'll be around to pay it back."
"Well I can easily get you some clothes and I was thinking of getting you some Belmont style clothes, just for irony, but I wouldn't think about running up that credit card, not until you're sure that you're leaving this life behind for good. But I'll bring your belongings here, including your games, since I'll tell you that Remilia and I think that gateguard have taken up video games. Despite being a vampire she is awake during the day a decent deal." She answers.
You then add, "Oh but I'll want a way out. Just in case things get too hairy and the situation calls for a temporary retreat. I have no strong attachment to this place, but I do have a strong attachment to being alive, so I can foresee necessary strategic retreats on the horizon."
She remarks, "I seen that coming, Well you can always try to call me, but I wouldn't be too quick to do that, since for all we know by the time I get around to answering your request, you'd be making merry with one of the girls. But depending on who you befriend, you can lay low with them as well."
"Also, could i bring a regular camera and a videocamera? if this is not a dream i want to save everything i see for the sake of my sanity." You ask.
She then answers, "It'll be along your belongings, but don't use it like that perverted Tengu. And you'll find things less and less crazy as you spend time in Gensokyo, though you'd end up a bit less sane, even that green haired shrine maiden's a bit quirky now." with a chuckle.
"More than any of the specifics, in the insincere spirit of egalitarianism, I want to say it'll be a pleasure to be working with you, for you, or whatever, Miss Yakumo." You say as you extend your hand.
She shakes it as you notice how soft her gloved hand feels... you then begin to wonder how it'd feel around a certain part of your body.
"Any last remarks?" She asks.
You have a smirk as you say "I reserve my right to flirt.... and on the off chance this is a dream, would you like to have sexy good times?" thinking, why not, she's in a good mood so even at worse you'd get a laugh.
She starts laughing as she says "You certainly are a bold one... I'll make myself clear, the offer and me are very real.... I'm just poking around in your dream. But I'm impressed by the sheer audacity you showed. I guess I could do you a favor... but only limited to my hands, feet, or breasts. You should be honored I'm even offering these options. So which one will it be, naughty boy?"
You're stunned that this has happened since if it was just a dream she'd throw herself at you. Needless to say your flesh was not weak at that moment.
Choose one only.
[ ] "Your gloved hands would be great"
[ ] "A footjob sounds interesting"
[ ] "Your lovely full breasts"