I really don't know enough about this game, so I'll withhold my vote for now.

That said, I get the feeling that Eirin is going to somehow make us regret letting her get away. So keep in mind that she's out there and up to something.

[X] Wait for another group to attack, and use it as a distraction.
[X] Run in with ubercharges.
-[X] Focus on the demo first
[X] Tacita should cloak and check out the nearby buildings, for any hidden enemies.

Sakuya's probably a spy, waiting around to backstab us. Better flush her out first.

>A single red ribbon fluttered onto the floor. Maybe you knocked it off with your bonesaw?
OH SHI-

>>26467
We're not the only team out here though, and while everyone else is our enemy, but that's technically Eirin's team's enemy as well.

>A single red ribbon fluttered onto the floor. Maybe you knocked it off with your bonesaw?

First we made a massive mess that everyone has to clean up and OOOOOHHHHH SHHIIIIIII-

I'll wait to see what comes up before casting my vote.

I feel no obligation to change my opinion of our roommate just because he's actually doing pretty well at this.

>A single red ribbon fluttered onto the floor. Maybe you knocked it off with your bonesaw?

Well, this'll be fun.

[X] Wait for another group to attack, and use it as a distraction.
[X] Run in with ubercharges.
[X] Tacita should hang near the main group and ambush anyone who tries to surprise you.

[X] Wait for another group to attack, and use it as a distraction.
[X] Run in with ubercharges.
[X] Tacita should hang near the main group and ambush anyone who tries to surprise you.

[x] Wait for another group to attack, and use it as a distraction.
[x] Run in with ubercharges.
[x] Tacita should hang near the main group and ambush anyone who tries to surprise you.

[x] Wait for another group to attack, and use it as a distraction.
[x] Run in with ubercharges.
[x] Tacita should hang near the main group and ambush anyone who tries to surprise you.

"We should wait a bit. Once someone else attacks, we should charge in full-force and use ubercharges and roll over the Scarlet people while they are all distracted."

"Ubercharges?" Good question, Camilla.

"That invincible energy thing that Eirin did to Tewi back there. It's something mediguns can do after charging up enough."

"Oh, okay."

You point to lamedumb. "I want you to find a good sniping position, but keep out of sight of the enemy until we charge. Camilla, when we do charge in, I want you to use your ubercharge the moment Raquel looks to be in danger. Don't wait too long, because if she gets beaten beforehand it's all over. Tacita, I want you to watch out for anybody trying to attack us from behind and ambush them. Any spies, flanking scouts, surprise engineers, whatever."

"I'm so going to win MVP. This bow rocks." "I'll try." "Okay."

Jerkwad climbs up another building, being careful to keep quiet and unseen. Tacita slips away somewhere. Everyone else tenses up and waits.
And waits... it feels like a while because you are so tense, but it's really only a bit more then half a minute...

"Behind you!" That was Tacita?
You wheel around.
Standing behind you are Sakuya and Yamame, both with knives. They look at each other in subdued surprise.
You whip out your bonesaw and swing it wildly, and Victoria swings her minigun around and starts firing also. They are both taken down in short order.
There's the sound of a rocket exploding. You turn to see that there's a girl in a bucket, also with a knife, behind Camilla.
Or, well, was. She's gone too.

A knife clatters to the ground. You see, on the roof of a building, your roommate stab Parsee with a kukri.

Around the corner, you hear the sounds of combat. "Let's go!"

And the four of you frontliners round the bend. Victoria and Raquel begin firing immediately, at the odd melee ahead.

Satori and Remilia are dueling, Remilia wielding a shovel and Satori wielding a knife. Off to the side, Flandre wildly swings a bottle around, bashing a clueless-looking raven girl with a knife. Koishi turns away from the rapidly-fading body of that gatekeeper woman, and sways a bit, narrowly missing a sniper's bullet. A catgirl is knocked off a roof, slashing with her knife wildly into the air. A moment later, that green-haired fairy jumps after her, pulling out a pistol and firing wildly.

Wait a second. The entirety of Team Chireiden was made into spies? Dammit, Yukari!

But there are more pressing matters. If Team Scarlet has a sniper, it could be dangerous for you... "Raquel, try to hit that sniper!" You catch a flash of purple hair in the window of one of the two-story buildings around the square. You point to it. "There!"

She seems to have noticed also, and is already firing. The rocket flies towards the window and hits the windowsill, exploding. The sniper staggers back, but gets back into position. You can see she is lining up another spot, and a red dot dances up to your head...

You activate your ubercharge just a moment before a bullet hits you straight in the head. It crumbles into dust, destroyed by your... black"... glow.
Raquel fires another rocket, as Victoria continues to pepper bullets towards Remilia.

Koishi walks up to Remilia and begins stabbing, somehow managing to avoid being hit by a single bullet from Victoria's minigun. That weird, uneasy swaying... she does a pirouette, and wait, are her eyes closed?
Weirdo.

Remilia finally lands a solid hit on Satori with that shovel, and then whips out a rocket launcher and fires straight down. She is blown skywards while Satori vanishes, though Koishi manages to avoid the brunt of the blast by what seems to be total luck. Remilia reloads her rocket launcher and whips it around in your general direction... and is hit in the head by an arrow.

Flandre hits that crow-girl in the head with the bottle so hard that the bottle breaks. The poor conspicuously-dressed spy goes straight down. The vampire spins around, pulling out a sticky bomb launcher.
"Kyu!" A mine right next to you goes off, and you are pushed out of range of Victoria.

"Did someone call me?" You hear a voice ring out from above.
Cirno leaps off a roof, leveling her pre-spun minigun. "The Strongest is here! Don't worry team Scarlet, I'll save the day!"
She fires at Victoria, who slows noticably the moment the bullets begin hitting her. Victoria wheels the gun around, towards Cirno. Okay, so a heavy with Natascha versus an overhealed heavy with Sasha? No contest.

BONK! Victoria is hit in the head by a baseball. That green-haired fairy runs up, fresh from her battle with that catgirl, and pulls out a sawed-off shotgun. She leaps towards Victoria, and then leaps again in mid-air. Once she reaches point-blank, she fires twice in a row, knocking Victoria into you like a bowling ball into a bowling pin.
You pull yourself up, and resume healing your Victoria. She rouses herself from the stun, and begins firing at that green fairy... who retreats. Cirno shifts the direction of her minigun, and you can feel stray bullets hit you, slowing your movements...

Flandre turns her attention towards Raquel. "Kyu!" Raquel leaps away, pulling Camilla with her. There is no explosion.
Flandre grins wildly and turns her sticky bomb launcher. "Kyu!" And explodes the cluster of sticky bombs Raquel just unknowingly leapt towards, giving the soldier no time to leap again. Luckily, Camilla had the foresight to deploy an ubercharge mid-leap, and the black glow protects Raquel from being gibbed.
That was pretty close. Being double-teamed by Flandre and that sniper, it's pretty troublesome...

Speaking of, why hasn't the sniper been firing?
You glance up to that window, to see Tacita get knocked backwards out of it. So she took care of the sniper? ...Then why jump out of the window like that?
A red-haired woman with demon wings leaps out after her, waving a bonesaw.

Wait a second, they had a medic after all, and she was overhealing their sniper? It sure explains why she could take multiple hits from rockets, but geeze. That's just bad tactics.

But there's no time to think about that. You are healing Victoria as fast as you can, but with your ubercharge worn off and her being the target of a flurry of minigun and pistol bullets, you are losing ground. If Flandre pulls out a grenade launcher or something, you're basically doomed...

You look over to Flandre just as an arrow gets her straight in the head. Oh, okay. Koishi walks over to where Flandre was, and begins spinning around in place. Uh. What.

That green fairy leaps back and fires two more blasts from that shotgun. Victoria is flung backwards as she vanishes.
Uh-oh. A rocket manages to nail the green fairy as she leaps back, but Cirno is still there, and is leveling her minigun towards you.
That red-haired demon woman walks up being Cirno. "You want to heal the Strongest? I don't really need any help, but you can do it if you want!"
A knife goes through Cirno's chest. Tacita throws away the paper mask with head wings, and puts on a paper mask with a pretty blue bow.

You hear Yukari's voice again. "Team Chireiden has captured the control point!" Oh, so THAT is what Koishi was doing.

Koishi suddenly does the splits, avoiding an arrow to the head by a split-second. She then goes into a cartwheel, managing to totally avoid the splash from one of Raquel's rockets.
Uh. Yeah.

It takes nearly a minute, but someone finally manages to actually hit Koishi. You are then rewarded with the announcement that 'Team Newbies' has captured the control point. Really now, Yukari.

The rest of your group gathers. Minus Victoria, of course.
You need to come up with a plan for how to defend this place...

[ ] Write-in.

---

Lack of voting options because I couldn't think of any good set of votes. My apologies.

>Flandre as a demo

FUCK YES! THIS IS THE BEST UPDATE EVER!

I'll have to think on this some.

Oh man, this is going to be hard.

Eirin where art thou? Will you ally with the others?

>>26519
Given that there are respawns (just with really long timers), I imagine her plan is harass the control point to keep anyone from winning before her team comes back. This would best be accomplished by temporarily allying with another team to take us down, then stabbing them in the back when they get close to winning, rinse and repeat. So yes, I expect we'll see her among one of the remaining active teams when they come at us. She certainly has her pick, too, incident groups 7, 9, 10, 12, and team miscellaneous (Marisa, Reimu, Suika, Iku, Tenshi, and maybe even the Watasukis if such a group even exists) are all potentially alive still. To make matters worse, we're missing our heavy when we were short-handed (6 to most groups' 7 or 8) from the start.

If I read the descriptions correctly, then the control point is relatively open, and our only point-defense is a soldier with two medics. Rogue Eirin or not, we're fucked in short order if we stay here. I think our best option is to:

[x] Pull back, lay low outside the control area and wait for two or more teams to start fighting.
-[x] Pick off members of the larger team until there's few enough people to safely clean out.
-[x] Tell Fagballs to peg Eirin first, regardless of who's side she's on, everyone else should just treat her as another enemy, but be cautious of an ambush.

There'll be no subconscious-chess hax here, thankyouverymuch.

>>26522
The control point is in the middle of a large open area. The buildings around it are mostly 1 or 2 stories tall, with open windows facing inward for snipers to use. One side is taken up by the Yakumo residence, which is closed up to others and thus essentially a dead end. There are three streets out, (one for each cardinal direction, minus the direction the Yakumo residence blocks.)
Overall, a very hard-to-defend point. Your main defense is the fact that Mayohiga is huge and easy to get lost in, and most of your enemies are generally too proud to agree to working together.

>>26523
Thank you for that. It confirms my hypothesis of "we should get the fuck out of there." I do have one more question, though, seeing as I've never played TF2 myself: How exactly does possession of the hill work? You mentioned Koishi standing(spinning) on the point to capture it in the midst of a firefight, does that mean that even if we leave, it'll remain ours until someone else takes it?

>>26524
good question; my vote was mainly to look around the area not exactly be in the area itself.

Now that you control the point, you will remain in possession of it until someone else stands on the point for long enough to capture it. Capture speed is based on the number of people from that team on the point, with scouts counted as two people.
So that this won't be utterly biased towards the attacker, progress can only be made on capturing a point if there is only one team on top of it. In a normal TF2 game you can keep an enemy from capturing your point by standing on it, but normal TF2 only has two teams at once, so I think this is a reasonable extrapolation.

Only one vote so far?

[x] Pull back, lay low outside the control area and wait for two or more teams to start fighting.
-[x]Fagballs: well hidden vantage point over the control zone
-[x] Everyone else around in an area, far enough to to avoid rocket wipe out but close enough to render aid.
[x] Pick off members of the larger team until there's few enough people to safely clean out.
-[x] Tell Fagballs to peg Eirin first, regardless of who's side she's on, everyone else should just treat her as another enemy, but be cautious of an ambush.

[x] Pull back, lay low outside the control area and wait for two or more teams to start fighting.
-[x]Fagballs: well hidden vantage point over the control zone
-[x] Everyone else around in an area, far enough to to avoid rocket wipe out but close enough to render aid.
[x] Pick off members of the larger team until there's few enough people to safely clean out.
-[x] Tell Fagballs to peg Eirin first, regardless of who's side she's on, everyone else should just treat her as another enemy, but be cautious of an ambush.

[x] Pull back, lay low outside the control area and wait for two or more teams to start fighting.
-[x]Fagballs: well hidden vantage point over the control zone
-[x] Everyone else around in an area, far enough to to avoid rocket wipe out but close enough to render aid.
[x] Pick off members of the larger team until there's few enough people to safely clean out.
-[x] Tell Fagballs to peg Eirin first, regardless of who's side she's on, everyone else should just treat her as another enemy, but be cautious of an ambush.

[X] Pull back, lay low outside the control area and wait for two or more teams to start fighting.
-[X] Fagballs: well hidden vantage point over the control zone
-[X] Tacita: cloak and pick off straglers
-[X] Everyone else around in an area, far enough to to avoid rocket wipe out but close enough to render aid.
[x] Pick off members of the larger team until there's few enough people to safely clean out.

Was Koishi doing Vamp's bullet reading technique? Doesn't seem out of her character, since it's not mind reading, but muscle reading. Closed eyes makes it a bit odd though.

[x] Pull back, lay low outside the control area and wait for two or more teams to start fighting.
-[x]Fagballs: well hidden vantage point over the control zone
-[x] Everyone else around in an area, far enough to to avoid rocket wipe out but close enough to render aid.
[x] Pick off members of the larger team until there's few enough people to safely clean out.
-[x] Tell Fagballs to peg Eirin first, regardless of who's side she's on, everyone else should just treat her as another enemy, but be cautious of an ambush.

"Okay. This place is way too open. We are down a member, too. I think we should pull back some and wait for the next two groups to make their way to this point, and attack them when they start fighting each other."
Tacita looks a little nervous. "What if only one group comes, and that group begins capturing the point?"
"Then we ambush them, I guess. But I'm not confidant in our ability to take an attack head-on."
"I suppose it'll have to do."

You look around quickly, then turn to your roommate. "I want you to find a hidden sniping spot. In one of those two-story buildings, maybe, since those are good for hiding in. Everyone else, we should stay out of sight close to him, but not close enough to get wiped out with one lucky rocket."
Doper begins walking towards one of the buildings, and Raquel follows him. She waves. "If we are going to stay close, I say we should stick on top of the building he is on. That way we can jump off and surprise them, and also get a good view of the grounds."
That's fair enough. "Okay. We really don't have time to think of a better plan, so..."
The group gets to the top of the building. It's pretty hard without flight. Raquel ends up rocket jumping up, and then lowering her hand so that the others can climb out of the window and onto the roof. A bit precarious, but it's something that isn't possible in TF2 so it's kind of exciting in that way. New ground, right?
On the way up, you instruct your roommate to prioritize Eirin as a target, and tell the group in general to try to target the larger enemy first otherwise.

And you aren't ready a moment too soon, because a second group reaches the point. First, a very soft-looking silver-haired girl arrives, looking around warily and holding her baseball bat like it was a sword. Right behind her are a pink-haired woman with a minigun, that fox woman with a rocket launcher, Alice with a wrench, and... Eirin. She looks kind of frustrated, from what you can see. Looks like she got stuck with a small team.
Oh, and behind Eirin is Keine. She has a minigun also, and a football helmet on. Her ordinary hat is on top of the football helmet. Wait a second, she got a hat? You wish you had gotten a hat! Goddamn random chance-based mechanics. She halts well before the point, as does Eirin.

They get onto the point, and... with all those people, they are going to capture it. It's no contest, really. Eirin is nailed by an arrow within moments, but even were you all to leap off the building and charge in there is no way you could stop them in time, especially since all those bullets and rockets would definitely slow you all down.
Too bad that chucklebump shot Eirin, though, because now they are all buzzing around. They are going to find you soon, it looks.

Luckily, mere moments after Yukari announces that Team Hakugyokurou has captured the point, another team charges them. Alice has barely gotten a level 1 sentry gun down, and they are already under fire.
Kanako runs in with a rocket launcher, followed closely by Sanae with a medigun, a straw Suwako-hat, and a goofy grin on her face. Two girls in orange run in, both waving baseball bats, and they are followed by that woman in green you saw earlier, spinning like a top as she charges. A top with a flamethrower, so the overall effect is like one of those fireworks you drop on the ground instead of shooting into the air.
There are more people coming in... the attackers are definitely the stronger team, yes. "Everyone! Charge! Take out that attacking team first!"

And you and your merry band leap off the roof, attacking as you go in midair. A hail of syringes fall onto the horde, and a lucky crit rocket takes out one of those scouts. The other one suddenly stops and begins crying. Er, sorry, miss.
Tacita... wait, where did she go? Eh, she's probably taking a less flashy enterance. But you are kind of feeling left out. Camilla is healing Raquel now, as she fires rockets, so that leaves you with... healing another medic?
Oh screw that!

A girl with a tengu outfit and a sword and shield charges you. You leap out of the way quickly, and swing your bonesaw as she passes. You then turn around and swing the bonesaw at the next nearby person. Aya... oh, wait, she jumped out of the way. She grins cheekily at you, and then pulls out a green can of soda. 'Cold Fusion Cucumber' flavor? She takes a swig, and then runs up to Raquel. She points off into the distance, and then raises her bat...
Shit!

"Raquel, scatter!"

She leaps away just as Aya swings the bat. Whew. There's nothing more humiliating then a taunt-kill.
Oh, hey, that tengu girl is back. You were so busy making sure Aya wasn't killing your friends... you swing the bonesaw, but she blocks with the shield. A sword-swing... you hop out of the way, but just barely.
This isn't looking good. You aren't that skilled with close-combat in general, and you have a bonesaw. Compare that to this girl with a sword and shield... and a knife through her chest. Thanks, Tacita.

Tacita begins to slip away, but she's hit by a baseball. Aya runs up, and begins swinging her bat. Not on YOUR watch!
You get a solid hit with your bonesaw this time, and it pulls Aya's attention onto you. She leaps over you and lands behind you, then begins batting at you. Doesn't want to leave her back exposed to Tacita while fighting you, eh?

You hear an ubercharge going off in the distance. Camilla shouldn't be ready yet, so that was probably Sanae. Hopefully she doesn't...
Hoooly shit. You hop backwards like your life depended on it, and it kind of does, because you saw a crit rocket coming your way. Aya gets out of range too, dammit.
That's... you look over. Kanako is firing wildly, and instead of being wrapped in a green aura she has green sparklies on her rocket launcher. Another sparkly rocket flies out, and takes down Ran. There doen't seem to be any Hakugyokurou people left.
Several of the Moriya people are down. Both of those orange scouts are gone, that flaming spinning top probably took a rocket to the face, and a team Moriya sentry goes up in sparks the moment you look around. Kanako and Sanae are still here, though, and so is Aya.
You really don't have time to just sit here reflecting on things, though.
Aya charges you again, readying her bat to swing.

And with a boom, you see Camilla go down to a crit rocket. Raquel must have been hurt pretty bad by that also, though.

You can see Kanako there with a look of triumph as the ubercharge wears off, when she is nailed in the head by an arrow. Well, at least some things are constant.

You barely avoid a swing from Aya, when she gets a backful of shotgun. Raquel seems to have switched weapons, perhaps to circumvent Aya's dodging skills? You would tell her to fire the rockets straight down, but admittedly that is very counterintuitive advice.
Aya is distracted for just long enough for you to get a final hit in with your bonesaw. The reporter goes down.

Now all that's left is Sanae. You run in with the bonesaw, and Raquel readies her entrenching tool. Sanae gives you an unhappy look, but you take her out without any real problems.

You walk up to the control point, healing Raquel. She follows you, but seems kind of weary.

Yukari's voice crackles over the map. "Team Newbies has captured the control point!"

You hear a sigh from behind you. Turning around, you see Suwako slouching there.
She twirls a butterfly knife around her fingers, then tosses it to the ground. "Good game, good game. There's no way I could get the both of you, and after this my team isn't going to win."
Raquel doesn't seem to care much, but you do. You walk over, pulling out your bonesaw. "So are you just going to stand there and make me nervous, or..."
"Well, I was going to ask you to kill me so I could at least keep Sanae company, but if you want I could pretend to be on your team for a while and help you out?"

Eh, you are pretty low on people at the moment, and she seems like a much more reasonable person then Kanako or Sanae. "I hope you don't mind having to be beaten later, if we win."

"Oh, it's alright. It'd be more fun to keep fighting, even if it's for a different team."

"Whatever. You go ahead."

She shrugs, and picks the knife up, and then walks away, stretching. Well, it's nice that she isn't cloaking or anything, but such a transparent spy would be little more than a cannon-fodder distraction.
You need all the help you can get, though.

You wait at the point with Raquel for a bit, when suddenly the sky goes dark. You look up, and there seems to be a sudden total solar eclipse.

You hear Yukari's voice again. "Oh, don't worry. There's just minor technical difficulties on my end. It won't hinder the game any."
Weird. Well, you don't know how this simulation was made. Maybe the entire environment is artificial, and she accidently screwed up the fake sun?
(It'd explain how vampires could freely be in here, without needing anything special for shade.)

It's been... a minute and a half, you think. Something like that.

Raquel looks around, a bit more brightly. "We might just win after all. It will be a worthy story to tell others, of course."
She turns away, stretching some.

Hey, she should be more alert. "You need to look around more!" You glare at her, mildly annoyed. "Who knows when someone might attack-"

"Boo!"

You wheel around. Kogasa is standing about twenty paces behind you, with one eye closed and her tongue sticking out. Her umbrella is folded up and strapped to her back.
And she has a rocket launcher.

A sparkly rocket flies towards you.

(Pick one.)
[ ] Panic.
[ ] Scatter.
[ ] Ubercharge.

(Pick one.)
[ ] Fall back!
[ ] Stand your ground!

Nice Job, Kogasa surprising us, but this might be the hardest thing to do: Taking her down. It's not because she might be super skilled, but that she's one of our best friends (and a possible love interest)

far as first choice goes it's mainly take a chance and spaz, scatter like a plan or ubercharge and tank it.

As for the second choice it depends on the chances of the rest of Team UFO appearing.

[x] Übercharge.
[x] Stand your ground!

[x] Übercharge.
[x] Stand your ground!

[x] Übercharge.
[x] Stand your ground!

[x] Das Übercharge.
[x] Stand your ground!

[x] Übercharge.
[x] Stand your ground!

Shit! You want to save this ubercharge for when you absolutely need it. You should try to dodge instead.
...while you were thinking that, the rocket continued to move. It's not waiting for you, obviously. No time to dodge now... guess this has to suffice as far as 'absolutely need' goes.
You activate the ubercharge.

A black glow envelops you, and you reflexively flinch as the rocket explodes harmlessly around you.
When your vision clears, you see Raquel is already aiming a rocket of her own.

You... aren't sure how you feel about beating Kogasa. Most of the other people you have fought so far have been strangers, or acquaintances at best. But Kogasa is your friend. "No hard feelings, right?"

Kogasa smiles at you. "I won't mind. I'm having fun!"

Raquel shoots out a rocket towards Kogasa, but the umbrella-girl is faster. She points her rocket launcher straight down and fires, and is knocked into the air. You idly notice that, instead of her normal sandals, she has heavy-looking reinforced boots on.
And then you look away because looking up a lady's skirt isn't polite.

Raquel reloads and begins to aim at Kogasa again, but the sound of gunfire distracts her.
You both turn, and see Suwako firing her revolver while backing away.
There's the sound of a minigun, and Suwako is quickly dispatched. Byakuren rounds the corner, and fires at you two for a few moments before noticing the ubercharge.

Shit. Which target should you focus on?
Kogasa. Bows for brains can snipe Byakuren, but Kogasa is at a bad angle for headshots. "Raquel, take out Kogasa first!"

She nods, and then turns back to fire a rocket. You look back, just as a rocket strikes the ground. Kogasa has pulled out her umbrella and unfolded it, and it seems to be slowing her fall. She is somehow managing to reload her rocket launcher with her other hand, while slowly drifting forward. It's like Mary Poppins, except with a rocket launcher.
Nah. She isn't nearly as creepy or pedophilic as Mary Poppins.

Raquel returns fire, but the shock of the direct-hit from Kogasa makes her narrowly miss. She quickly reloads and fires a second, but Kogasa folds up her umbrella and begins to drop faster. Raquel's rocket hits open air where the karakasa was moments ago.

Kogasa lands on the ground, and your ubercharge wears off. This isn't looking good. You are outgunned, here...
Time to surprise Kogasa. You hope she appreciates your thoughtfulness.

You draw your bonesaw and bum-rush her. She is not at all expecting that, and you think one of your swings there was a crit, too. You knock her to the ground, and prepare to land the last strike. "See you after this is over." She smiles and nods. Bye, Kogasa.

A bullet clips you. You turn around, to see Byakuren opening fire. She hasn't been sniped yet? In that moment you realize how much you have come to rely on that bastard in this match. It's come to the point where him letting you down leaves you surprised?
You hope this highly unnatural state of affairs ends the moment the match is over. It's creepy.
Raquel fires off another rocket. Byakuren takes it head-on, and then begins to glow.
Purple.

Ichirin rounds the corner behind her, holding a medigun. She seems pretty nervous. Well, you don't see Unzan here, so presumably he wasn't allowed into the game. Ichirin probably isn't used to not having her partner with her...

You sigh. "You bastard, you missed your chance. If you had just sniped her earlier, I wouldn't be in this mess." He probably can't hear you from up there, but berating him makes you feel better anyway.

Well, is that all they have? You look around, in case they have any other nasty surprises waiting. You don't see any-
Wait. Over the edge of that building is the tip of a loop of white cloth. It's rustling.
You see a gleam of light.

"Raquel, get down!"
You duck, yourself, just as a bullet flies over your head.

Raquel looks around wildly, trying to figure out where the sniper fire came from. You point in the right direction, and she fires off a rocket.
Shou gets hit by the splash damage, and quickly retreats. Going to have to watch out for her movements...

"...the three great treasures of Buddhism..." Wait, Byakuren is saying something? Kind of a low chanting, maybe some kind of prayer.
Wait, low?
You turn around. Whoooah Byakuren is getting way too close for comfort. You really don't want someone with a minigun to get that close to you. "Get back until their ubercharge wears off!"

Raquel gets your message, and the two of you retreat. You keep an eye out towards the building where Shou was, for when she peeks out.

You both are off the point now. It's making you a bit nervous, since they are now capturing it. Luckily, their ubercharge wears off... "Now, charge!"
And you quickly get back on it, firing off rockets.
But there's no way you can win. Raquel was losing to Byakuren's hail of bullets, even with your healing, while Byakuren is fresh on health. As long as she is being healed-
Tacita uncloaks behind Ichirin. You try very carefully not to let the surprise or relief show on your face, but it probably does. Byakuren seems to pick up on something immediately, and she wheels around just as Ichirin falls forward. Tacita is gunned down in moments, and Byakuren begins to turn around...

Raquel fires another rocket, but then jerks to the side and vanishes. Shit, Shou is still up there.

So it's down to you and Byakuren. You'll have to act fast, before Shou risks another shot...
You draw your bonesaw and leap forward. You slash at Byakuren, who opens fire with her minigun.
You quickly sidestep, and circle around behind her. Another slash. She turns around, but the gun is slowing her down. You circle her some more, and hack at her again.
She throws the minigun away. A lunge... holy shit! Byakuren's punch genuinely hurt. She's a lot stronger then she looks. And it seems that Yukari didn't hax unarmed attacks right, because not only did it lower your HP it also stung.
Byakuren pauses for a moment. "Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt?"
"It's... it's okay. I can take it, I'm a youkai."
She doesn't seem that confidant, but she punches again. You step back just fast enough, and then hack at her once more. She punches again, and this time it connects... but so does your bonesaw.
She vanishes.

Holy shit, did you just manage to take out heavy in close-combat?
You are-

Your eye is drawn back up, to see Shou poking her head out again. You leap onto the floor hard, as another bullet wizzes overhead.
Shit.

You pull out the syringe gun... here goes nothing. And you open fire.

For a moment you are firing at too low an angle, and the ballistic projectiles don't go high enough. But you correct yourself momentarily, and Shou hurries to the side.
Why is she so concerned about syringes? It's not that strong a weapon.

Maybe she is at critically low HP?
She fires another time, but this isn't an aimed shot. You manage to get out of the way, but just narrowly.
But even then, it slows her down just enough for you to line her up in your sights. She gets hit by a small shower of syringes and vanishes.

Go you!

You hear footsteps. You turn. Oh, it's just sniperhead.

He looks pretty nervous.

Well, now's the time to berate him while he can hear you. "What happened? Your fire support kind of stopped there."

"Their spy found me. I fought her off, but I was worried that that meant my sniping position was compromised."

"Well, you should have kept firing, even then. The success of the team is more important then your life."

"Eh? That sounds kind of like bullshit to me." He slings his sniper rifle over his shoulder. "But I guess I want whatever the reward for this is also. Well, leader, what's our plan for defending this point now?"

"We have, what, somewhere between half a minute and a minute left. I wasn't counting. So, we should..."

[ ] "keep our eyes peeled for another attack. We will take out any ragtag remaining attackers with all our guns blazing."
[ ] "take a more cautious strategy. I'll heal you. You take them out. If you are overhealed you can stall, even if I die."
[ ] Write-in.

---

Damn, I corrupted some NWN2 file and now I can't play the campaign. Going to have to restart. Maybe it was all of my screwing around with the talk-tables that did it.

>He slings his sniper rifle over his shoulder.

SNIPER IS SPY!!!

[x] SPY CHECK
If he isn't spy.
[x] "Take a more cautious strategy. I'll heal you. You take them out. If you are overhealed you can stall, even if I die."

[X] SPY CHECK
[X] "Take a more cautious strategy. I'll heal you. You take them out. If you are overhealed you can stall, even if I die."

Hmmm, all that's left is the PC-98 games and PoFV, unless Team Eientei has respawned by now.

[x] SPY CHECK
If he isn't spy.
[x] "Take a more cautious strategy. I'll heal you. You take them out. If you are overhealed you can stall, even if I die."

Sup Nue.

[X] SPY CHECK
[X] "Take a more cautious strategy. I'll heal you. You take them out. If you are overhealed you can stall, even if I die."

[x] >>26585

...Anyone else notice that the MC was actually concerned over doing anything to Kogasa? He was actually thinking of her like an equal and/or somebody deserving of respect.

Most everybody else he treats as just sort of 'other people,' or something. Nue and his roommate are the only other two that even come close to being different from that, and even then, not by much (Nue seems more like a friendly classmate, and the roommate is someone he just downright -hates-).

>>26585
Waddoya mean? Relax, he's just waving his bow...
Wait what.

[x] SPY CHECK

[x] SPY CHECK
If he isn't spy.
[x] "Take a more cautious strategy. I'll heal you. You take them out. If you are overhealed you can stall, even if I die."

Heh... it'd be a case of "well done Nue"

>>26590
As far as I can tell Nue and Kogasa are basically his friends, though he's protective of Kogasa. He doesn't for Nue because she's a girl that and easily take care of herself.

He sees Byakuren and Shou as bosses, Murasa as a pleasant buddy. Ichirin and Nazrin are positive neutral.

And the roommate? Firmly negative. Perhaps Sanae too.

I doubt the MC really hates Fagballs, just firmly dislikes him. He couldn't have tolerated him for this long otherwise.

[x] SPY CHECK
If he isn't spy.
[x] "Take a more cautious strategy. I'll heal you. You take them out. If you are overhealed you can stall, even if I die."

My god, I completely missed that. You people are quite observant for a bunch of anon.

[x] SPY CHECK
If he isn't spy.
[x] "Take a more cautious strategy. I'll heal you. You take them out. If you are overhealed you can stall, even if I die."

[x] SPY CHECK
If he isn't spy.
[x] "Take a more cautious strategy. I'll heal you. You take them out. If you are overhealed you can stall, even if I die."

Wait a second, something is off. "We should take a more cautious strategy." You gesture around you. "Though I want glory as much as I do, it'd be better if I healed you so you could defend. Only as a last resort will I draw my saw," you pull our your saw, "like thus. I'll have to resist the urge to go mess up the enemy's shit," you slash down at loserdumb, "like thus."

He staggers back, suddenly giving off smoke. This was kind of a win-win plan because even if you got it wrong you would get to hit the guy but... looks like you got it right.

Nue straightens up, grinning at you. Quick, you need an epic one-liner! "I saw through your disguise!"

Nue rolls her eyes at your epic one liner, then laughs. "Heh. I guess my story there was pretty fishy."

"Well, I was clued in by the fact that that bastard uses a bow, not a sniper rifle."

"Really?" She frowns. "That's unfortunate."

"How in the world could you not notice?" You swing your bonesaw but she dodges, this time. "Were you not paying attention when you shanked him?"

She lunges with the knife, but you deflect it with a sweep of your arm. "Actually, I didn't take him out in the first place. I went to go check, but I think someone else got him earlier."

Huh. She probably wouldn't lie to you over something that has no real game advantage, so then... who killed him? Maybe Suwako did, and she just failed to ever mention it? You weren't really paying attention to her movements, after all...

You parry her knife with your bonesaw, and try to lead it into another slash. She easily avoids it, though. She steps back. "I would say that I have the advantage because you are so injured... but I'm injured, too. We didn't have time to heal up before this attack. So..." She pulls out her revolver.

Shit. You draw your medigun. She is visibly puzzled, and that gives you just long enough of an opening to swing the medigun like a club and knock the revolver out of her hands. "Well, I say I have the advantage..." you pant out, "because I don't have to beat you. I just have to stall for time."

She pulls out her knife again. But now she only has a melee weapon, and you still have your syringe gun. She admitted to being injured also, so maybe you should take her own strategy... you pull out the syringe gun and aim it at her.
You open fire, but she lashes out with her wings and brushes your gun aside. Dammit... you fight with the surprisingly strong, highly colorful appendiges, trying to get the syringe gun pointed back at her. Then you notice she is taking advantage of your distraction to lunge-
Let go of the syringe gun, duck, and the knife sails over your head. You grab her arm with one hand and pull out your bonesaw with another, and before she can properly react you do a quick swing.

Nue vanishes.

You collapse onto the floor. This has been pretty tiring already, but getting into a knifefight? You sure hope nobody comes to attack now, because you are definitely not ready for it.

"Viiiictory!" Yukari cackles.

Huh, nobody did come to attack. You were kind of expecting someone too, after thinking that.

Cracks run down the world, and the air begins to shatter. You find yourself back in the main square of Mayohiga, as the illusionary world crumbles around you.
Up on the stage, the Prismrivers wind down their background music. They look pretty nervous, and keep glancing into the air. What's up?

You look up.
Oh. That is up.

Floating in the air is Yukari, lazily sitting on one of those gaps. In one hand she has a paper fan; in the other, a microphone. She eyes another figure in midair, one you don't really recognize.
Said person is a girl in a black dress, with short blonde hair. She does look kind of familiar, actually. Except for the massive raven-black wings and the red eyes, glowing like the sun, and the swirling sphere of black wind.
She is holding both hands forward, firing two lasers. The lasers both stop as you look. Looks like she was using a spellcard, and it just ended.

Yukari smiles. "Oh? Was that it?"

The girl, on the other hand, snarls nastily. "Don't patronize me. I'll beat you, you see. I just need to regather more of my power. In fact, some of it has arrived..." She raises her right hand to the sky, and the ground rumbles. From every direction come jagged shards of black metal. They fly in, howling and screaming, and slam into each other. Within moments a massive sword of black metal, easily ten feet long, has formed in the air above her right hand. She grasps it and it burns with darkness.
She raises the sword high, stretching, pointing it to the eclipsed sun. "Now, take this, and let's see if you still have that smug grin on your face!" She swings the sword, and the burning darkness flares. A huge wave of black, honed to a razor-edge, flings itself at Yukari, growing as it travels.

The lady of boundaries idly flicks her fan, and deflects the torrent of darkness to the side. The wave flies off, cutting buildings in half in a straight line that goes far off into the horizon. Rinnosuke stands, frozen in shock mid-run, his stand cut cleanly in half.

The girl of darkness growls, and charges at Yukari. With a luxurious yawn and stretch, Yukari idly drops the microphone, and then catches the sword swing one-handed. She jerks the blade out of the girl's hand and then tosses it away.
It lands next to you. It kicks up a cloud of dust, and makes the ground shake like an artillery shell just went off. When the dust clears, you see the sword is now stuck over six feet into a small crater in the ground.

Nue walks up to you. "I was going to congratulate you for winning, but instead I'll give you a tip. Are you ready for it?"

You distractedly glance towards her. "Er, yeah."

"Don't stand right next to where massively heavy weapons of ancient unspeakable evil are about to strike."

"Uh, good advice?"

"Right, you look busy. I'll leave you to pontificating, and go find Kogasa." She saunters off.

You shake yourself from the odd stupor, and glance around. The square is full of people again, and it's an odd mix. Roughly half of them are watching the battle with rapt, perhaps a bit nervous attention, and the other half seem to not give a shit. Presumably the latter are either extremely powerful or extremely stoned people.

[ ] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[ ] You should go chase after Nue.
[ ] You should go ask Yukari for your reward.
[ ] Maybe you should help Yukari?
[ ] Screw that battle. You should go talk to...
-[ ] Write-in.
[ ] Hey, free sword!
[ ] Write-in.

(Pick one.)
[ ] Wear the suwakohat.
[ ] Doooon't wear the suwakohat!

---

I swear you had the hat on you this entire time. It was just in your sylladex.
If any of this seems strange it's because I'm really goddamn tired.

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go ask Yukari for your reward.

[x] Doooon't wear the suwakohat!

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go chase after Nue.

The reward can wait until we've checked up on Kogasa.

[x] Doooon't wear the suwakohat!
For various reasons I think it's best that we don't wear it, least of all risk of having it get damaged.

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go ask Yukari for your reward.

[x] Wear the suwakohat.

Such an awesome hat needs to be flaunted. And if it gets damaged we can just get a new one from Suwako. She'd love the free publicity.

>>26637
so we have a sylladex? Is our sylladex easily weaponizeable like queue stacks. Because if thats the case we need to captchalogue a bunch of crap to eject our of our sylladex like that sword.

As our other actions
[x]congratulate our teammates
[x]go after Nue and lets check up on Kogasa
[x]get reward from Yukari

[x]lets wear our awesome suwakohat

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go ask Yukari for your reward.

[x] Wear the suwakohat.

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go chase after Nue.

[x] Doooon't wear the suwakohat!

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go chase after Nue.


[x] Doooon't wear the suwakohat!

Don't want the awesome suwakohat to get damaged by a stray bullet or whatever.
Damage makes it lose awesome points.

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go chase after Nue.

Also I doubt Yukari needs help from us at all. The best of Gensokyo is there, and I'm sure even EX Rumia can't stop Yuuka, Two Oni Devas, A couple of Tengu, the Scarlets, etc. I'm tempted to convince our roommate to help Yukari. He's a sucker for blondes after all.

I wonder if we can even use the sword even with our youkai strength.

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go ask Yukari for your reward.

[x] Wear the suwakohat! DO IT

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go ask Yukari for your reward.

[x] Wear the suwakohat! DO IT

[x] (stuff)

[x] Wear the suwakohat.
Only option that matters.

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go ask Yukari for your reward.

[x] Wear the suwakohat! DO IT

[x] Hey, free sword!
[x] You should go find the rest of your teammates and congratulate them on the victory.
[x] You should go chase after Nue.

[x] Wear the suwakohat!

Well, a round of congratulations are in order. You couldn't have won that battle without the help of your team, after all. Also, once you do congratulations it will all come full circle and you'll be able to start belittling Jerkass again.
Let's see, you just need to go around and find them... you've done it before, so it won't be hard. Since they all were out when the game resolved, maybe they all left in the same place?

You look around. Yep, you were right. Most of them seem to be over there. You head off-
Wait! You almost forgot something. Something that RPGs have taught you to do.
Your eyes dart back to the sword. Never forget to loot.

You walk over to the crater, and get a firm grip on the sword's handle. It's a bit thin... makes sense, since this sword was designed to be held one-handed by someone with relatively small hands.
Well, two hands on, and... pull!

Ugh! This thing is heavy! You strain yourself, bracing against the ground, pulling with all your might, and you can feel even your enhanced youkai strength buckling.
You... think you can do this... just a bit more...

With one mighty heave you pull the sword out of the ground, and then collapse. That was... a bit too much. You hold your hands up to your face. Are they still there? You can't exactly feel them.
...Your hands are stained black, as though they were covered in soot. You can feel your sense of touch slowly restore. It's pretty noticable, what with the burning pain.
You switch your youkai senses on. There's very strong traces of foreign magic on your hands, and an extreme amount radiating from the sword.
Well now. It seems that this sword is not only too heavy for you to carry around, but it also doesn't like being touched. Okay, it presumably will let it's owner touch it. That kind of stuff is pretty common for powerful magic swords, you would imagine.

You push yourself uh, sighing. This stinks. Who would have thought that a sword of ancient unspeakable evil would be dangerous?
Ah well. You already have an artifact of ancient unspeakable evil. You don't need two. You might as well leave this sword here in case a spiky-haired teenager who needs a weapon happens by.

You saunter towards your group, putting on the suwakohat.

---

"Hey." You wave.

Camilla turns to you. "Hello! I heard we won. I wish I saw it."

"Well, it wasn't that exciting." Okay, that was a lie. "Er, it was really exciting, but it was more spy thriller then action flick." That was pretty wrong also, since the spy part came down to an epic bonesaw-versus-knife duel, but screw clear communication.

"I see... well, I did have fun, and I guess we will all get rewards for this." She blinks. "Also, that's a cool hat."

You nod at her complement. "Once Yukari is done anyway." You glance back at the sky. Yukari and that darkness girl seem to currently be armwrestling.

"I don't know what I'm gonna ask for." She looks thoughtful.

"Well, no point thinking now. Eirin was offered a reward from a specific category, so I assume we'll get to choose guns or something." Hopefully, anyway. It'd be cool if you got a gun. Maybe something modified to shoot danmaku, like those pistols Raquel has. "So you pick whatever seems like the best souvenier to bring back to Makai, I suppose."

"A gun would be a weird souvenier." She pauses. "Though it would be a pretty fun toy..." That's the spirit!
You pat her on the shoulder. "Good job, anyway. We couldn't have done it without your help medic'ing." She flashes you a smile, and then you wander off to talk to someone else.

It seems that your entire group isn't going to attentively stand listen so that you can congratulate them all at once. Well, so much for the time-saving route. Gonna have to do this one by one.
Okay, over there is Victoria. She is drinking something wrong a martini glass.
Huh? Where'd she get that? Maybe she bought it from one of the stands?
Oh, wait, no, the tables now have drinks and stuff. A weird assortment, too. Soda cans, wine bottles, water coolers, even drink machines. Where in the world did Yukari get all that stuff? There's probably some food court manager somewhere wondering who would steal a drink machine.

Regardless, you approach her. "Hey. Good job out there."

"It was nothing. Merely doing what I do best."

"And that is?"

"Getting shot at." Not going to ask.

"Well, you think of what you want for a reward. Maybe you could ask Yukari for Reimu's hand, heh."

"That's what I was planning on doing." Wait shit she really was? This could be... interesting.

"Er, I wish you the best of luck."

"Thank you for your well-wishes." She bows slightly, and then gulps down the rest of the drink.

Okay, who next? You can't see Raquel anywhere. She's probably off robbing Yukari during this period of business. There's Bling Bandit, over there... okay, not going to talk. Not until you have talked to everyone else, dammit. So who else- ah, there's Tacita. She's talking to Tokiko again.

You draw closer. Tacita seems to be relating the story of the event. You can see her mime a vigorous stabbing motion, at least. "Hey."

She turns around. "Oh, hey."

"Good job there. You really... spy'd the hell out of them. Stabbed. Whatever."

"It was pretty fun."

Tokiko makes a sour face. "It sounds like that. I wish I could have participated." She frowns. "Could have gotten back at Reimu for that time she mugged me."

That sounds incredibly dangerous. "Actually, I never even saw Reimu. Was she even taking part?"

Tacita shrugs. "Maybe she was, but her team didn't do well?"

Tokiko looks thoughtful. "I'm not even sure what team she'd be put in. She's never instigated an incident." A building in the distance suddenly implodes, and she jumps slightly.

Tacita eyes the wreckage, tutting. "Well, then if she is taking place, wouldn't Yukari put her in a small team? In interest of fairness."

"Tacita, if Yukari was interested in fairness... well, you remember how team Chireiden was all spies, right?"

"Oh, yeah. That wasn't very fair at all."

This is getting off topic. You must do this with the utmost efficiency. Quickly, move the conversational topic to some place more relevant. "You were a way better spy though, overall. Even though their entire team was spies they barely managed to stab anyone. So, er, good job."

"Alright. A prize would be nice, also. I'm running low on some supplies..."

"If you really need to use human camping supplies and stuff, couldn't you just buy them?" Tokiko looks curious. "There are some people who are willing to pay Youkai for work that is tough for humans. That's how I am able to afford books."

"Well, I don't need to, it's just convenient. But, if you know of anybody who would be willing to pay me for odd jobs, it'd be nice."

"Once this is over, I'll see if I can reccomend anyone." Tokiko pulls out a thin book. Maybe some kind of daily planner? "I have a list in here, somewhere..."

This conversation is continuing to diverge. Well, you've already congratulated her, and she seems to be busy talking with Tokiko again. So, maybe you should go to the next person.
Raquel is still absent. Shit. That means it's time for that bastard.

"Hey. Good job shooting arrows at things. Too bad about the whole getting stabbed part."

"I'll get some kind of prize, so it was all worth it in the end. Also, where did you get that hat?"

Okay enough talking with him. You wander off.

So, what next? Maybe you should check up on Nue. You'll presumably get to see Kogasa also.
You swing by the tables on the way over and get a drink. How about a coke? Okay, now where is Nue?

Ah, there's some odd-looking wings over there. You walk over, hopping aside to avoid a twenty-foot-long lance of darkness embedding itself into the ground.

You open the coke and drink. Pff- This is new coke!
Dammit Yukari!

You toss the can aside, and go on, ignoring a few odd looks. Dammit, your irrational expressions of product loyalty that doesn't even make sense for someone of your age are making you look weird!
Okay, there's Nue. She should at least understand weird. What with how she is slumping over in despair. Oh, hey, there's Kogasa, frozen in fright!

"-and then I used the Kritzkrieg, and Kanako started blowing people up right and left!" Oh, there's Sanae. She makes some explosion sounds with her mouth. "But then Kanako got hit with an arrow." She frowns.

"That's... very nice." Nue looks to be desparately trying to ignore the green-haired girl.

"It'd not nice at all! Shooting people with arrows is bad!"

You walk out, stepping between Sanae and Kogasa. "Oh, and it's okay when Kanako shoots people with rockets?"

Sanae puts on a look of deep thought. A moment passes. Her eyes suddenly light up. "Oh, hi! I like your hat!" She darts forward and energetically shakes your hand. "I don't know, I think she has a divine right to shoot people! She is a goddess, after all!"

"But shouldn't gods be held to higher standards then humans are, not lower?"

"Kanako taught me all about this stuff!" Sanae points at you, and closes her eyes. She begins, in a measured tone, as though reciting something word-for-word, "It is not for mortals to decide things for gods, for it is gods who choose what is right and wrong..."

She looks pretty distracted. This is a good chance. You grab Nue with one arm, Kogasa with the other, and run the hell away.

---

"Thanks for bailing me there."

"No problem, Nue." You gently lower Kogasa to the ground. She looks a bit happier now. "How did she find you, anyway?"

"Like a dog, that one. Very good tracker." Nue pauses, and then smirks. "Also, I bet she wets herself all the time."

"I was so scared!" Kogasa seems to have recovered enough to talk.

This might be a good time to ask. "Why are you so scared of Sanae, anyway?"

"She's mean! She... she..." Kogasa sniffles. Shit. You rush over and try to comfort her, quick, before your favorite umbrella springs a leak.

Nue sighs. "Well, I'd like to talk, but it looks like the battle is almost over. You'll probably be called down for your reward soon."
You glance over. That darkness girl is panting and staring balefully at Yukari.

"If... if you think that by disarming me... and... and defending against all of my spells... then you're wrong..."

"Ufufufufufu. Such a good show of false bravado." Yukari snaps open her fan, and covers her grin. Behind her a number of gaps appear, and various handles poke out. "Maybe I should show you one of my swords... how about a taste of this," She reaches and grabs one handle, and pulls. Out comes what seems to be an ornate, rune-encrusted stone rolling pin with a metal sword hilt. "Enuma Elish, the sword of rupture!"
She holds the 'sword' aloft, and the runes begin to rotate. Red energy builds up. That darkness girl holds her hand to the side and concentrates hard, shuddering visibly, and her sword flies out of the ground and back into her grasp. She weakly readies to swing...

Eh, boring. You shrug and go back to the drinks table, waving goodbye to Nue. Maybe they have something else?

---

You are standing on the stage, still wearing your suwakohat. The rest of your team are here, too. Ran is currently on the microphone, saying some boring announcer stuff. She bows and steps aside, and Yukari walks up.

She is wearing that darkness girl (Rumia, apparently) as a hat. She waves at you. "So, I will give each of you a working replica of one of the weapons you used. Modified to shoot danmaku, of course," she glances into the crowd, apparently at Reimu, "because of weapon control laws for outsider weapons based on the spell card rules and blah blah what do you want? You can ask for something else, of course, but I reserve the right to say no to any other requests." She seems to be looking at you now. "Oh, and you don't get a medigun. I couldn't figure out how to make one of those work."

Well, what do you want? (Pick one.)
[ ] "A bonesaw."
[ ] "A syringe gun."
[ ] "You, my dear."
[ ] RAGE. What kind of shitty reward is this? The only cool weapon for your class is the only weapon she can't give you?
[ ] Write-in.

[X] "A bonesaw."

Well, it was the weapon that brought us our victory.

[x] "A bonesaw."

We made good use of it, and it'd back up our Danmaku skills.

>Ah well. You already have an artifact of ancient unspeakable evil.

What is this artifact that he was referring to again?

We seem to have developed a new superpower for manipulating highly awkward social situations. Now if we can just learn a spell for conjuring high-quality tea at will, we'll arguably be the most powerful being in Gensokyo.

Withholding my vote for now because I have a nagging feeling there's something we should be asking for... I'll have to look back over the story once I've gotten some sleep, or possibly by then a more alert anon will have figured out a good write-in.

[x] "A bonesaw."

>>26713

"This is my rifle/This is my gun/One is for killing/The other's for fun"

[x "A syringe gun."

[x] "The Blutsauger."
And if that don't work:
[x] "You, my dear."

[X] That giant sword/artifact of ancient unspeakable evil, except with it recognizing me as its master, so without the searing pain when I touch it. Oh, and also I'd like to be able to wield it, instead of clumsily waving it around like a sword shaped club that barely lifts off the ground.

>>26731
If EX Rumia got sealed up, chances are so did the sword.

>>26738
We can try anyway.

[X] That giant sword/artifact of ancient unspeakable evil, except with it recognizing me as its master, so without the searing pain when I touch it. Oh, and also I'd like to be able to wield it, instead of clumsily waving it around like a sword shaped club that barely lifts off the ground.

[X] "A bonesaw."

He can already do danmaku, and if the modified syringe gun uses the ballistics of the original version, it's not as good. And a giant sword is just asking for teasing about penis size. Especially from Koishi.

>>26730
If Yukari couldn't get the medigun to work, I doubt she'd be able to get the Blutsaugher's "heal user on hits" to work either.

[x] "A bonesaw."
And if that don't work:
[x] "You, my dear."

[x] "A bonesaw."

Well, there's no real contest. While a medigun would be useful, if you had to choose between a bonesaw and the stupid syringe gun...
"Could I have a bonesaw?" You should hedge your bets though. "Thought if that won't work, I-"

"Really, if that doesn't work?" Yukari laughs. "Ufufuf. You seriously thought I wouldn't give you a bonesaw? I could just reach my hand into a gap and steal one out of some hospital somewhere. It wouldn't even take a minute." She yanks a bonesaw out from a rift in the air, and hands it to you.
She coughs. "This isn't just any bonesaw, though. It has history. It was the prototype model made by Sir Gregory Bonesaw, the inventor of bonesaws."

Huh? You've never heard about anyone with such an outlandish last name. "Are... did you just make that up?" You look over the bonesaw in your hands. It doesn't look special.

"Of course not. Would I lie to you?" She winks at you, and then turns to your roommate. "And what do you want?"

"I want a bow." No surprise at all.

"Of course." She pulls out an unstrung bow, and hands it to him. "This bow has been modified to shoot arrow danmaku."

"Uh, how do I use this?" He fumbles around with the bowstaff.

"Well, you'd have to string it first or something." She yawns. "I, of course, know everything, and thus could explain it to you. But I won't." She quickly turns to Tacita. "And what about you?"

"Could I have a portable outdoor stove?" She pauses. "And, if so, could it be modified to use danmaku? Because that would be pretty cool and it would mean I wouldn't have to find fuel."

"That's boring. Couldn't you ask for a knife or something?"

"I already have a knife." She reaches for her knife, and then stops herself. Probably not a good idea to wave a weapon in front of this woman's face, yes.

"Oh, fine. I'll have Ran figure that out. Expect it in a few days." She turns to Raquel.

"I want a-"

"Your reward will be Durandal." Yukari reaches into Raquel's backpack and pulls out a sword. She then hands the sword back to Raquel. "Also, if you rob me again, I will kill you."

Raquel looks like she is about to protest, but after seeing Yukari's expression she shudders and backs down. After that utterly one-sided 'battle' in the sky, even the suicidally overconfidant are scared of that woman now, it seems.

Yukari turns to Camilla. "And what about you, child?"

She thinks for a bit. "How about that syringe gun thing?"

Yukari smiles. "Of course." She pulls out a syringe gun, and hands it to Camilla. "Modified to shoot syringe-shaped danmaku rounds. That dial on the back is intensity. 1 is 'harmless lightshow', 10 is 'full-power danmaku.'" She yawns again, apparently tired by the act of explaining so much.

"But this dial goes to 11." Why did the muffled sounds of the crowd suddenly fade?

"Ssh. Don't mention that in earshot of Reimu." Yukari waggles her eyebrows at Camilla conspiratorially.

Wait a second. You have to interject at this point. "But... isn't it too late?"

"I muffled the sound coming from the stage the moment she started to say that." Yukari pauses, and then turns to Tacita. "I'll give you back control of your own power in a bit, okay?"

Tacita blinks. "Wait, what?"

Yukari flips out her fan, and covers her mouth. "Yes, that's enough of this. I bet they are getting suspicious." She waves her hand, and the outside sounds filter back in. Yukari coughs and raises her voice. "That was nothing suspicious at all! We were just discussing Reimu's weight!" You hear someone yelling in the crowd, but tune it out. She turns to Victoria. "And you?"

Victoria poses, and straightens her clothes. "I only wish for Reimu's hand in marriage." She pulls a rose from... somewhere, and clenches it between her teeth.

"Ufufufufu~" Yukari smiles, looking warmly at Victoria. "No." Her smile immediately drops from her face, and she waves her fan. Victoria falls into a gap, which then closes. "Now, that's all, right?" She yawns, and then collects herself and waves to the audience. "Yukarin out~" She steps backwards into a gap, which then closes.

Ran walks up to the podium. "Right. The next event is a race." You hear Aya cheering in the background. "A footrace. Specifically, a two-legged race." A sudden lack of cheering. "No stopping time, no manipulating distance, no teleportation, no magic tricks, just running, okay? This isn't supposed to be a magic contest. You should break down into teams. You can team up with someone in another group if you want, okay. This isn't a group event." She pauses and lets it sink in. "Have teams ready in five minutes and I'll get this started."

So. Who should you team with? Or should you even participate in the first place? You weren't quite an athlete, and even though you have enhanced youkai abilities... well, almost everyone else does too, so it's hardly going to give you an advantage.

(Pick one, obviously.)
[ ] Nue.
[ ] Kogasa.
[ ] Someone else.
[ ] Sit out the race. Instead, you will spend the time... (Pick two.)
-[ ] Sampling drinks.
-[ ] Trying out some of the games of skill in the stands.
-[ ] Socializing with the other people who don't participate.
-[ ] Playing with your new bonesaw.
-[ ] Checking to see if Raquel is all right.
-[ ] Write-in.

---

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern punnery,
When I know more of grammar than a novice in a nunnery—
In short, when I've a smattering of elementary writing skill—
You'll say a better anon-writefag has never rode a horse!

[x] Sit out the race. Instead, you will spend the time... (Pick two.)
-[x] Socializing with the other people who don't participate.
-[x] Checking to see if Raquel is all right.
[x]That is unless Kogasa or Nue asks, then we race. Can't refuse our best friends, especially Kogasa when she makes that cute face.

Getting to know folks in Gensokyo and checking on a teammate are the best courses of action.

Er, typo in the voting options:

-[ ] Checking to see if Raquel is all right.
should be
-[ ] Checking to see if Victoria is all right.

>>26762
Eh, I'll keep it, a teammate is a teammate.

[x] Sit out the race. Instead, you will spend the time... (Pick two.)
-[x] Socializing with the other people who don't participate.
-[x] Trying out some of the games of skill in the stands.
[x]That is unless Kogasa or Nue asks, then we race. Can't refuse our best friends, especially Kogasa when she makes that cute face.

[x] Nue.

[x] Sit out the race. Instead, you will spend the time... (Pick two.)
-[x] Socializing with the other people who don't participate.
-[x] Trying out some of the games of skill in the stands.
[x]That is unless Kogasa or Nue asks, then we race. Can't refuse our best friends, especially Kogasa when she makes that cute face.

[x] Sit out the race. Instead, you will spend the time... (Pick two.)
-[x] Socializing with the other people who don't participate.
-[x] Trying out some of the games of skill in the stands.

[x] Sit out the race. Instead, you will spend the time... (Pick two.)
-[x] Socializing with the other people who don't participate.
-[x] Checking to see if Victoria is all right.
[x]That is unless Kogasa or Nue asks, then we race. Can't refuse our best friends, especially Kogasa when she makes that cute face.

>>26779
Seems sad how there's only two people concerned about the womanizing woman.

[x] Sit out the race. Instead, you will spend the time... (Pick two.)
-[x] Socializing with the other people who don't participate.
-[x] Checking to see if Victoria is all right.
[x]That is unless Kogasa or Nue asks, then we race. Can't refuse our best friends, especially Kogasa when she makes that cute face.

[x] Sit out the race. Instead, you will spend the time... (Pick two.)
-[x] Socializing with the other people who don't participate.
-[x] Trying out some of the games of skill in the stands.
[x]That is unless Kogasa or Nue asks, then we race. Can't refuse our best friends, especially Kogasa when she makes that cute face.

You leave the stage, thinking, as other people begin to congregate into teams.

Yes, footraces aren't really your thing. Especially three-legged footraces. Those things can be pretty embarrassing to participate in. Of course, if someone specifically asks you... say, Nue or Kogasa...
You imagine Kogasa making that cute face of hers, begging you to be her partner. She would have her eyes wide, beaming at you in red and blue, a thin mist of tears making the twin lights glitter in the sun, making the most dangerous puppy dog eyes known to man in terms of cuteness-related-fatalities. Oh little list umbrella, you want to taker her hoooome-

"Can you please be my partner?" A pitiable cry. Your fantasies, they have come to life! You wheel around, arms wide, ready to accept the karakasa's pure and heartfelt feelings.
Wait, shit, that's Sanae. Your arms slowly drop.

She continues, filling in your shocked silence. "I wanted to ask Nue to be my partner, but she immediately ran off and asked Kogasa. It was like she didn't even hear me!" A sniffle.

Well, isn't this pretty close to what you wanted? "No." Yeah, no. Well, you don't want to be too mean to her. She feels more like a puppy that hasn't been housetrained then a villian. "Why don't you ask Suwako? I have, uh, the ritz, so I can't run. Doctor's orders."

She runs off, crying. Eh. Looks like all of the people you would be willing to race with are tied up. All two of them. You should do something else.
Might as well socialize with the other people who aren't participating for a while.

As the groups line up, it begins to become clear who is and isn't participating. You see all sorts of pairs lining up. Nue and Kogasa, obviously. Sanae and Suwako. Yuugi and Parsee. You see Marisa surrounded by at least three girls, who seem to be fighting each other for the honor of being her partner. You see two of the prismrivers partnered together, and the third standing behind them lazily cheering them on with a keyboard solo. Ran is partnerned with that catgirl, and seems to be very... happy about it. Cirno and that green fairy are partnerned, although Cirno seems to have tied the wrong leg. And so on. It's a lot of people, anyway. Too many to take in all at once, even.
Well, that pink-haired woman seems to not be participating, and she is nearby. Might as well talk.

You walk up. She seems to have a large plate of food, various things you've seen the vendors around selling. That silver-haired girl seems quite consternated.
"Mistress Yuyuko, I didn't bring that much money to here! We've almost run out, even!"

"Oh, my little Youmu. We can just get food on credit, okay? The food sellers trust me. Don't worry, I'll just have you take on a second job later." She giggles, and then eats two little octopus-shaped sausage slices in one bite. Youmu slumps.

"Hey, having a fun time at the party?" Not the best conversation opener, but whatever.

Yuyuko turns, and smiles at you. "Oh, it's that new youkai. Pleased to meet you," She eats a piece of fried tofu covered in some kind of sauce. "And I am having a good time so far, thank you for asking. And how about you?"

"I've had an alright time. I..." The food is distracting you. It's not been that long since breakfast, all things considered. In fact, most of the time so far has been spent on that Mahjong tournament you didn't participate in. That big scrap has made you feel very hungry. And Yuyuko has a lot of food on her. "I am pretty hungry."

"Oh, me too! We have something in common then!" She laughs, and then keeps eating.

Youmu glares at Yuyuko. "You really shouldn't eat so much, mistress."

"Of course."

"It's not good- wait, you are agreeing with me?"

"Yes, plenty."

Youmu pauses. "You just stopped listening to me, didn't you?"

"Very good."

You are awed, witnessing this rapid-fire comedy routine. Or maybe they are serious? Either way, you don't feel like you could fit in here. "I'll be taking my leave, then."

Youmu nods distractedly.

You go off- but it looks like the race is about to start now. You see Ran behind the start of a distressingly long track, with a pistol held to the air.
Suwako looks to be comforting Sanae. "Come on, let's show them our team combination! Kero special!" She was being pretty loud there. Well, not like knowing the name is going to give the other teams an advantage.
Ran counts down, then fires the pistol. And they're off!
Sanae and Suwako, instead of running, both crouch. And then start hopping like frogs. It's... surprisingly effective, all things considered, but they still lag behind almost every other group.
It looks like Nue and Kogasa are doing relatively well, actually. Well, this is going to be one really long race, so who knows what the ending will be like. An endurance test, even. You'll have more time to socialize. When did they mark out that track, though? You don't remember seeing it before.

Oh, hey, it's that purple-haired girl who was the team SDM sniper. You walk up. "Hey. You sitting this thing out too?"

"Yes." She doesn't even bother looking up from a dusty-looking book. "With my chronic health problems, I should not be participating in such strenous activity."

Wait a second. "If that's true, why were you trying to get teamed up with Marisa?" Yeah, you saw her there, along with some other girls.

She pauses. "That is of no concern to you. Do not question my methods."

That red-haired demon woman comes up, with a tray of drinks. "Here are the drinks you asked for, Mistress." She puts down the tray on a stand, and then reaches into her pocket. "And here is your asthma medication," she puts an inhaler (Yagokoro-brand) on the tray, "and your anemia medication," she puts a bottle of pills (Yagokoro-brand also) on the table, "and your insulin," she puts a syringe (Yagokoro-brand, even) on the table, "and finally, your... special medication." She pulls out a bottle of brandy (Aki brand, apparently).
Huh, you've never heard of medication for anemia. But, man, if she has all of those problems, how was this woman expecting to run?

"Thank you, Koakuma." She takes a sip of one of the drinks, and then turns to you. Koakuma bows and steps back. "If you want to say anything, say it now. Inefficient conversation is tiring."

Very nice woman. "I just wanted to socialize. Uh, so who are you and what do you do?"

"Patchouli Knowledge. I am the librarian of the Scarlet Devil Manor. Now, if that is all, I will go back to this book."

Okay, yeah, not having much luck with socializing. Maybe you should try out some of the games of skill. They are there for a reason, obviously. You should try them out. They probably aren't going to be quirky and mildly rude to you. You walk off, and Patchu doesn't even notice you leave.

This game seems to be a dart-throwing-type game. A bunch of little bulls-eyes move around in mechanical loops. It looks to be a dart game made for youkai, though, because they are all moving at different speeds, and the tracks themselves are rotating. Occasionally, one will suddenly jerk to the side. It's very hard to predict their motions.
The paper-man manning the stand hands you give darts. "You have five tries to hit a bullseye. After that you have to pay to get more darts. If you get two bullseyes with one dart, you get the grand prize." The grand prize being, apparently, a pretty sweet-looking mask. It has a long nose, and you can feel magic on it. It feels a little bit like Nue's magic... maybe it's some kind of spell of disguise? It's a very well-worn mask, anyway.
Sure, might as well try for that prize. You aren't sure if the mask fits you, but it'd be cool to have anyway.

You aim carefully, try to predict the moment of one of the slower bullseyes, and throw. Drat, you misjudged it. That was a miss.
Okay, try again. Concentrate more this time. Dammit, people are cheering in the background. Tune them out. You think you have the pattern down... damn, another miss.
Maybe you'd have more luck on another bullseye. That one doesn't look too bad... another miss. This game is way harder then it looks, even with the aid of your youkai reflexes.
Maybe a fast one would turn out to actually be easier? ...no, it isn't.
Shit, you didn't bring enough money to be wasting on things like this. Actually, do you have any money at all? You can't miss this one. Can't. You concentrate on the pattern, throw the dart, will it to hit. You feel a kind of strange feeling, like what you get with some of your spell cards...
Hit! It kind of jerked in an odd way mid-flight, but the paper man didn't seem to notice.

"Congratulations." The paper man hands you a gaudy festival mask. Not as cool as that other mask, but it's okay. You thank the paper man, and move on to another stall.

This seems to be a test of strength. It's one of those old things where you hit a lever with a hammer, and it pushes a weight up.
The paper man hands you a hammer. "You get two tries. If you ring the bell, you get a prize."
Okay. You heft the hammer, and then swing it with all your might. You hit the lever with what must be enough force to split a human in half. But the weight barely budges... a few inches, at most. Holy shit. That weight must be really heavy. You are surprised the hammer survived that. Maybe it's a magic hammer Yukari made to be invincible?
Gotta try hard. Maybe... maybe if you really try, you can do the same thing to that weight that you did to the dart? You heft the hammer and concentrate... after a few moments you open your eyes and swing the hammer. You work hard with your mind, trying to imagine the weight hitting the bell, and the weight suddenly leaps up right below the bell. It hops up about an inch, hits the bell, and then falls.
Despite how blantant that form of cheating was, the paper man manages to not notice.

"Congratulations." The paper man goes back into the stall, and comes out with a massive teddy bear. Like, nearly as big as you are. It hands it over. This thing is bulky, but...
Sweet, huge teddy bear. You didn't even have to fight your way through a tricycle factory full of zombies to get it.

Oh, it looks like the races are over. That concentrating took longer then you thought. Ran has taken the mic already. "...in second place, Flandre and Remilia. And in first place, Mokou and Kaguya. Will the top three please take the stage." Three teams get on the stage. Aya and a white wolf tengu, the two vampires, and Mokou and Kaguya. The latter two both have... interesting expressions. Mokou is scowling angrily, and Kaguya has a rictus of a grin. Did they want to lose or something? They don't look happy.
Yukari takes the podium. "Aya, Momizi, you two get t-shirts." She pulls out two cheap-looking t-shirts, apparently for some cancer charity run. She hands them to the two tengu, who don't look very pleased but also aren't stupid enough to complain to Yukari's face.
"Flandre, Remilia, you two get platform shoes. Maybe if you wear these next time your short stubby legs won't be as much of a disadvantage." She pulls out two pairs of platform shoes, one white and one red.
Remilia is either extra-unpleased or extra-stupid, though. "Yukari, you hag, if you call me stubby again you'll regret it."
Yukari smiles. "I think you will be the one regretting things, if you call me old again." She ruffles Remilia's hair. "Now be a good stubby little child," she pulls out a lollipop, "and let me talk about grown-up things, okay?" She smiles.
Remilia scowls but doesn't go on further. She does accept the lollipop, though.
Yukari turns to the final group. "Now, Kaguya and Mokou. How interesting. You get to choose your own prize. Something... hmmm..." Yukari thinks, and then breaks into a ghoulish grin. "How about a matching set? Maybe a set of coffee mugs, or matching sleepwear, with 'I <3 Teruyo~' and 'I <3 Moko-tan~' on them!" She claps her hands.
"I refuse to accept anything with Kaguya's name on it!" Mokou is waving her arms around, flames licking out of her clothing, her voice almost at a scream.
"Then can I have both prizes?" Kaguya thinks for a second. "How about the new pokemon games? Mokou's gift can be heart gold, and I can have soul silver, but I get to have both. Any objections, Mokou?" A sickly sweet voice.
"Fuck you and your shitty games, retard princess!" She punches Kaguya in the gut, and turns. "Can my reward be Kaguya not getting any rewards?"
"I'll give you a matching set of empty air, then. It takes less work, so I'm okay." She waves and walks off the stage.
Ran goes to take the mic, while the two runner-up teams leave the stage and the winning team begins to devolve into a very, very bloody catfight. "The next event will begin in ten minutes. I am sorry for the delay, we have some last-minute preparation to do..."

You spend the next ten minutes socializing, primarily with Nue and Kogasa. They don't really have anything to say you hadn't figured out. Sanae approached Nue to team up, so Nue ran to Kogasa. You are a bit hurt that she didn't run to you, until you realize that if she did Sanae probably would have turned to Kogasa next. Nue came in fifth place or sixth place, it seems, which isn't too bad. Aya being in the top three wasn't much of a surprise to either of you. She isn't as fast on foot, and was paired with the slower Momiji, but even then she is still fast. Remilia and Flandre wasn't a huge surprise, either. Vampires are apparently the second-fastest type of youkai, and Remilia and Flandre are both extremely above-average vampires. Mokou and Kaguya was a surprise, though. Apparently Mokou wanted to team with Keine and Kaguya wanted to team with Eirin, but Eirin and Keine somehow persuaded them to work together. They both spent the entire race trying to outrun the other, and they ended up matching each other's rythms utterly by accident. From the way Kogasa described it, though, it was an impressive sight. The ground literally was catching fire as they went, even though neither was consciously using magic. You can see a charred line across the track, too. Scary.

Eventually, Ran returns to the mic. "Preparation has been completed. This next event will have a special host for our next event, allowed to enter Gensokyo specially for today by Yukari. Please welcome, coming here from her home in Makai, Shinki!"

A gap opens up, and Shinki steps out. There is some applause, and she smiles and waves. A spotlight, apparently straight from the sky, shines on the goddess. "Ah, I'd like to thank Yukari for letting me go past the seal on Makai, even if it's for a day. Today I am here to host a special edition of the Makai gameshow, 'Who Wants to be an Archduke of Hell?'"
More gaps open, and various demons stream out with cameras, boom microphones, and so on. "I'm not the normal host for this show, but Yukari insisted on me for some reason, so I've been practicing specifically for this. Don't be too hurt if I slip a little." She laughs nervously. "Now, every group should have one representitive. Pick them in the next five minutes, while we set up.

You... really want to do this. But are you the best choice? This probably going to be mythology/occultism-related questions, and while you aren't a total know-nothing on such subjects, some of your teammates might be better.

Who should your team representitive be? (Pick one.)
[ ] You.
[ ] Raquel.
[ ] Victoria. (Where is she, anyway?)
[ ] Tacita.
[ ] Camilla.
[ ] Dumbbuster.
[ ] Who cares. Let the others pick.

[ ] If you aren't the representitive, what should you do while watching? (Write-in.)

>[ ]Victoria. (Where is she, anyway?)

Isn't it sad, Vicky?

[x] You.

I fear we'll be outgunned if Patchy's playing.

[X] You.

Shinki, you make our dreams come true again.

[X] You.
Shinki will be our prize

[魚] You.

If it was a three-legged race, couldn't Kogasa have just used her umbrella as the third leg? It's got a foot on it.

[ ] Raquel.

Doesn't she do mythology and the occult for a living? I mean, it's sort of part and parcel of archeology, or so Indiana Jones would have us think.

[x] Raquel.

> Sanae runs off, crying.

I'd be feeling sad if the current Psycho!Sanae didn't change my feelings for her. Oh well.

[X] Raquel.

if not, then [X] You.

[x] You.

>>26824

But this Sanae isn't psycho, just sort of... overly excitable, and naive. When she ran off crying, I felt like I had kicked a kitten. A kitten who was rolling over on the ground in front of me.

feels bad man

>>26827
I think one of our goals is to try to apologize, that is after getting it into her head that Nue isn't an alien and to stop bullying Kogasa.

[x] You.

You quickly pull your group together. Luckily, they were already congregating. You still aren't sure who would be best to send up there so...
Oh who are you kidding. You want to be there. There's no denying that.

Might as well be direct about it. "Hey, anyone have any objections to me being our representitive? It'll probably be mythology and occultism-related questions, and I'm pretty knowledgable on both subjects."

Tacita shakes her head, and Camilla seems to be in agreement.
Uglydumb shrugs. "I don't know much about the kind of stuff they will probably ask. You're the weirdo dork, right? You'd have a better chance at this." Gee, thanks.
Raquel looks indecisive. "Well, I know a lot about mythology, and a bit about the occult."

So only one person to convince. Not bad. "They're kind of a hobby of mine, here. On both counts. Look, don't worry."

She shrugs. "I can tell you really want to do this, so I, Raquel Whatley, she of legendary tact, will give in on this matter."

"Thanks."

Camilla sticks out her tongue. "I've seen a buncha episodes of this show. It looks really nervewracking."

Ooh, right, she's from Makai! She's familiar with this show! "Can you tell me what the rules are?"

"Oh, yeah. See, all of the competitors are put in separate booths, where they can't see or hear each other. The host sits down one-on-one with each person and asks them harder and harder questions, until the person gets one wrong or decides to stop. The person who answered the most questions gets a grand prize, and everyone who never got a question wrong gets money based on how many questions they got right."

So, it's like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, except with some significant differences. Multiple people playing at once, and a grand prize that is separate from the cash prize. Presumably becoming an archduke of hell, given the title. If you understood her right, it's actually possible to get the grand prize yet not get a cash prize, if you got the most questions right but went on to get one wrong. Interesting. How does the host sit down one-on-one with multiple contestants at once, though? You would like to ask her, but it looks like the five minutes are almost over. "Thank you." You go up to the stage, and she waves back at you.

As you approach the stage, you see the other contestants assemble. Patchouli, Alice, Keine, Kanako, Koishi, and Byakuren. There's also one girl you don't recognize; she has short blonde hair, a red and purple dress, and a little doll dressed just like her hovering over her shoulder.

The eight of you assemble in a line on the stage, in front of Shinki. And my, how far this stage has transformed. There is a fancy backdrop, glitter and glitz everywhere. It's mostly blue and red, just like everything in Pandaemonium. Demonic stage techs run around, finishing the set-up for the cameras and other electronics. You glance back, to see paper men hurridly set up chairs in the square for the audience to sit. You notice that they are instructing everyone to sit in groups based on their incident.
Shinki smiles at you all, as the cameras begin to roll. "Welcome to 'Who Wants to be an Archduke of Hell', in a special edition live from Gensokyo. Participating today will be eight youkai of Gensokyo." She points to Patchouli, who steps forward. "Introduce yourself for the viewers, please."

"I am Patchouli Knowledge, the librarian of the Scarlet Devil Manor."

"I believe this is not your first time dealing with demons."

"Yes. I have a demonic familiar. Koakuma."

Shinki smiles. "Yes, I remember creating her. Very nice, loyal girl." She looks out to the audience and waves. You quickly look that way, and see Koakuma waving back. "I was sad to see her go, but summoning rituals are serious business. Now, then..." She points to Keine.

"Keine Kamishirsawa. The guardian of the human village. Also a historian and schoolteacher."

"My, how multitalented. I see that you are a therianthrope?"

"Ah, yes. You can tell? Well, I suppose you are a goddess, so I shouldn't be too surprised. But, yes, on nights of the full moon I take on the aspect of the wise Hakutaku." That's one hell of a name. Hakutaku. Sounds like something you could use to attach pieces of paper to corkboard.

"An odd combination. Hakutaku aren't a youkai who are likely to attack others. Was it a curse? ...oh, but I shouldn't pry." She turns to Kanako, next.

"I am Kanako Yasaka, the goddess of Moriya shrine. My domains are the wind and rain." You wonder what her sign is, and if she likes long walks on the beach.

"I had heard from Byakuren that you had moved your shrine to Gensokyo... how are you doing? It's been so long since we last talked."

"Quite well. As a financial supporter of this party, I am hoping to show Gensokyo that Moriya is not only thinks of progress, but also of the people's enjoyment."

"Much bigger on talking then you used to be, I see."

"I decided that ny older, more warlike approach was not... fit for this new age."

"Well, there you have it, folks." Shinki turns to Koishi.

Koishi doesn't answer.

"Er, miss?" Shinki walks over, and taps her on the shoulder.

Koishi doesn't answer.

A rock hits Koishi in the head. You all turn, and see Satori in the crowd, fuming.

"Oh, hi! I'm Koishi Komeiji."

"And... anything you would like to tell the viewinng public about yourself?"

Koishi thinks for a little bit. "No."

"...Alright. Next we have..." Shinki starts to turn to you, but then stops. She sighs, and then turns to Alice. Looking again, you notice that Alice is barely managing to hold in her impatience. "I was going to save you for last, dear, but if you really want..."

"I... I'm Alice Margatroid, magician and puppeteer."

Shinki walks forward and hugs Alice. "And you sure have grown, dear. Ah, but I am sure the audience is not particularly interested in this, so... let's talk more after this is over, okay?" Alice nods, a bit hesitantly. Shinki steps back to whe she was, and then turns to Byakuren. It appears she forgot that she was about to talk to you?

"I am Byakuren Hijiri, the nun at Myoren Temple."

"What happened to that wonderful ship of yours, by the way?"

"It crashed, sadly." Byakuren almost does a double-take. "Oh, yes! Thank you for your care, by the way."

"Oh, there is no need to thank me. I hardly did anything for you."

"But you could have made by stay in Hokkai unpleasant. As it was, it was calm and meditative... if long."

"Again, it was nothing. I was merely honoring the terms of the agreement to the letter, and taking no further initative. Ah, but we hardly have time to argue, so..." She turns to that unfamiliar girl.

"Medicine Melancholy. Youkai."

"A tsukumogami, I see. And you don't have a job, or a position?"

"No. I refuse to let such human concepts corrupt me."

"Ah. Quite the personality, I see. Well, and our final contestant..." She turns to you.

Well, how should you introduce yourself?

[ ] How should you introduce yourself?
-[ ] "I am ____." (Write-in.)
-[ ] "I am ****. What, that sounded like a series of beeps to you? Well, I can't say my name on public television."
-[ ] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[ ] Write-in.
[ ] How should you describe yourself?
-[ ] "I am a professional freeloader."
-[ ] "I am a part-time mailman."
-[ ] "I am an extra-stage boss... apparently."
-[ ] "I dance very well. Care to see?" (By the way, you don't know how to dance.)
-[ ] Write-in.

---

Actually meant to continue going nameless, but after writing this entire thing I suddenly realized that it would be really damn weird if the main character did not say his own name in this context. Of course, if you like to continue going nameless you can choose to not say your own name. Not like Shinki can MAKE you say your name.

Coincidentally, Medicine is the only person on team PoFV. Aya chose to go with team MoF, Yuka wasn't invited, Komachi was banned from coming by Shikieiki, and Shikieiki herself said she was too busy. In the TF2 challenge, Reimu and Marisa were thrown onto team PoFV for balance reasons.
What about the fighting games and Double Spoiler?
Uh, look, a three-headed monkey!

[x] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[x] "I am the youkai of travel."

Jacko unrelated.

[X] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[X] "I am a youkai of travel."

Not really a fan of Medicine, but seems a bit sad that she is going solo. Works out since she probably isn't much of a team player anyway, though her appointed teammates are both human...

{X} Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-{X} "I am a youkai of travel."

[X] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[X] "I am a youkai of travel."

[x] "I am Jonathan Discotheque."
-[x] "I dance very well. Care to see?"

[x] "My name is Nicholas Sanford. I'm known as Nicholas the Traveler."
-[x] "I am a part-time mailman, but lately I've considered becoming a quest-giver, seems more profitable."
-[x] "On that note, I'll exchange any precious gems you happen to have for this candy I picked up off the ground, though I only accept stacks of five."

[X] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[X] "I am the youkai of travel... and an extra stage boss, it seems"

[X] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[X] "I am the youkai of travel... and an extra stage boss, it seems"

[X] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[X] "I am the youkai of travel... and an extra stage boss, it seems"
--[X] The only reason I lost to Reimu is because she used 'Fantasy Heaven' on me.

[X] [lies]I am Hermes Ouroboros[/lies].
-[X] "I am the youkai of travel... and an extra stage boss, it seems"

No need to justify our Reimu loss. If she's subject to the same "belief = power" rules as us, the more we bring her up, the more power we give a potential opponent. Do not want.

[X] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[X] "I am the youkai of travel... and an extra stage boss, it seems"
-- [x] And a rather sorry one at that due to a certain SOMEONE stealing the credit for my work!

Might as well gripe a bit about that, since our team is by far the most dysfunctional, with one border crasher-turned-youkai (Us), a kid from Makai (Camilla), a woman crazy in love with Reimi (Vicky), a treasure hunter (Raquel), a book reading goat girl (Tactia), and a glory stealing would be Gary Stu.

[X] [lies]I am Hermes Ouroboros[/lies].
-[X] "I am the youkai of travel... and an extra stage boss, it seems"

I can't see why not.

[X] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[X] "I am the youkai of travel... and an extra stage boss, it seems"

Are we still on Namek?
Nah, don't worry, this party is gonna be over soon. About 3 more updates. I have an idea for what the next arc will be, you'll figure out soon enough.

Also, please forgive me if I make any mistakes or such.

---

[X] Introduce yourself without saying your name.
-[X] "I am the youkai of travel... and an extra stage boss, it seems"

For some reason you really don't want to say your name. You briefly consider making up some kickass fake name. Hermes Ouroboros, maybe? Something like that?
Nah. They wouldn't buy it. Need to remember that name, though. Make a mental note and all; it was a cool name.
Ah well. You make sure you are facing the camera, and give it a winning smile. "I am the Youkai of travel. Also, I've been told I am an extra stage boss, though I'm not sure quite what that means."

Shinki frowns. "And do you have a name?"

"Yes."

"Would you care to share it?"

"Not particularly."

"Fair enough. As one of the few people able to travel between Gensokyo and Makai at will, are you planning on visiting Makai much? I am sure the people back at home are very interested."

"Some, I suppose. To visit Camilla sometimes, if nothing else."

"Speaking of, you have the ability to bring other people across borders also. And you are... somewhat more reasonable of a person then Yukari is." She pauses, as though she half-expected to be struck down on the spot. "How does that work?"

"I just... grab onto them and pull. It's pretty tiring, though. I don't think I could do it on anyone more powerful then myself. Most definitely not you, Shinki."

"A shame. Well, I'd like to say again that you are welcome to visit any time."

"Thank you for your hospitality."

"Of course." She clears her throat. "Well, now that introductions are out of the way, I will explain the rules for the benifit of the competitors."
She then goes on to explain the rules. What Camilla told you was correct, yes, but she left out many details. Each player gets one lifeline, and in this case it will be the player's teammates who answer. There is no time limit for individual questions, but the game as a whole does have a time limit. Pacing is up to the individual. Apparently while the game normally gives cash prizes, it will not in this case. Obviously, Shinki only has Makai currency to give away, and it would not be useful in Gensokyo. Therefore, in this case, there is no reason not to guess on a question you have no idea for, because the only thing you would be losing would be the non-existant cash prize.
"You all understand?" Nods and sounds of assent.

Shinki steps back, and waves her arm. Nine red curtains in parallel draw forward, and a single long horizontal curtain comes behind them. They form eight separate curtained-off areas; in each is two chairs. "Each of you, go into one of these booths. Once everyone is situated, the spells I have set up will activate, and no noise will be able to enter them. Just pick a random booth, everyone."
Shinki turns around, and her form flickers. She takes a few steps forward, and as she does she splits into eight separate Shinkis. Each waves.

You shrug, and walk to a random booth. You see the others around you doing the same.

The moment you step into the booth, you notice the difference. Suddenly the sound of the crowd vanishes. This isn't like, say, Tacita's power, though. You can still hear your own footsteps, your own breathing. It is merely like you just walked into a soundproofed room.
You glance back and look at the silently chattering crowd. Weird.

You take a seat, and so does Shinki. "Once all of the others are seated, we will begin. Okay?"

"Okay."

She smiles at you tiredly. "I am sorry if I seemed a little rude, but Yukari's request came suddenly. I had to spend a long time preparing, and I am quite tired."

"It's okay."

She glances around. "It looks like it's about time to begin. Ah, in case you were worried, I'm not going to ask you any questions about Makai. You can hardly be expected to have the understanding of Makaian politics and history that a normal contestant on this show would, of course."

"That's nice and considerate of you."

She laughs. "Why thank you. Now," and she grows serious, "are you ready for your first question?"

"Hit me."

"I won't tell you how much money these questions are worth, because that would be like teasing you." A cough. "In Chinese philosophy, the Five Movements are, in the order of generation:"
She points backwards, and a sign rises from the ground.
"A. Water, Fire, Metal, Wood, Earth
B. Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, Water
C. Wood, Water, Metal, Earth, Fire
D. Fire, Metal, Wood, Water, Earth"
Ugh. If that wasn't on a sign also, you would have had a hard time keeping those orders in mind.
You get the feeling that this would have been an easy question for many residents of Gensokyo, but you aren't as familiar with Eastern philosophy. However, this is a question you can probably think your way through.
Water generating fire doesn't make sense. While you can see fire generating metal, for instance (metalworking), you can probably say that it's not A.
Wood generating fire, though, makes sense. Wood burns, after all. You aren't so sure about fire generating earth or metal generating water, but water generating wood (watering plants) and earth generating metal (mining) both make sense. So B is a possibility.
Fire generating water makes no sense, and earth generating fire makes little sense also. So it's probably not C, either.
And D is pretty much like C, just in a slightly different order.
By process of elimination, this leaves B. "I'll go with B."

Shinki smiles. "Correct. Next question. In the Greek underworld, there is a river of fire named:" The sign behind her changes.
"A. Lethe
B. Phlegethon
C. Styx
D. Cocytus"

You think for a moment. Lethe was the river of forgetfulness, and furthermore it was a river people were expected to drink from, so it's probably not made of fire. Styx was a river people were supposed to cross, if you recall, so it's probably not that either. Wasn't Achilles dipped in it? Fire is not very effective at making babies become tough. So that leaves Cocytus and Phlegethon, both of which sound pretty dirty now that you think about it. The name Phlegethon is kind of familiar, now that you think about it. You'll go with that...
"B, again."

"Correct." She pulls a cue-card out of her sleeve and glances at it. Then she tosses it away, and it evaporates in midair. "In Western alchemy, the metal Copper is ruled by the planet:" Once again, the sign changes. Must be a magic sign... not that it would surprise you, given what Gensokyo is like.
"A. Mars
B. Jupiter
C. Saturn
D. Venus"

You are pretty sure that's Venus. It makes sense. Venus was a goddess of beauty, so the planet Venus was associated with a beautiful metal. However, gold was associated with the sun, and silver was associated with the moon... so copper it is.
"I pick D."

"Correct." You look out into the crowd. Your team seems to be more or less watching you. In the case of, say, Camilla, more. In the case of, say, that bastard, less. "Next, how about a detour into something more recent... of the following species of youkai, which is the newest?"
Uh-oh. You don't know much about youkai. You know mythology, obviously, but not so much the truth of things.
"A. Gremlin
B. Goblin
C. Imp
D. Kallikantzaros"

Actually, that's... not too hard. Thinking about it, youkai are influenced by belief, so the newest species of youkai would be the ones which are most recent in terms of mythology. And gremlins are very recent. If you recall, the first stories about gremlins were eighty to one hundred years ago. Very recent indeed. You aren't sure what 'Kallikantzaros' are, but they probably are older. New mythological creatures don't spring up very often in this day and age, and those that do are mostly of an urban legend type. Bigfoot and such.
"A."

"Very good."

"So Gremlins are real?"

"Well, there is some belief in them. I hear there are some gremlins. None in Gensokyo, though."

"Huh. Er, anyway, next question?"

She thinks for a moment. "Which of the following type of youkai is not known for it's unusual diet or eating habits?"
"A. Cactus Cat
B. Axehandle Hound
C. Teakettler
D. Hidebehind"

Well, shit. You have no idea. Those names are very faintly familiar. You think they are North American urban legend-type animals, like the Jackalope, but you're not sure about anything else. How ironic that the question about your home continent is the first one to truly stump you...
Maybe you should use your lifeline?

[ ] Try to guess. Save the lifeline for future questions.
[ ] Use your lifeline. Maybe one of your teammates is more knowledgable about this?

Huh. I'm not sure what to do here. This one is a little tough to guess.

I know the answer isn't the Cactus Cat or the Axehandle Hound. Suffice to say they both have some bizarre feeding habits. It could go either way on the other two though; the Teakettler isn't known for any particular eating habits that I'm aware of, and the Hidebehind eats people, which isn't very strange as far as youkai go. I would be inclined to think the Hidebehind is the right answer, simply because what I do know of its eating habits is pretty standard, and it breaks the themed names of the other youkai, which are all associated in some fashion with inanimate objects.

Then again, even if we knew the answer, I'm not sure we would be allowed to just put it out there.

>>26883

Dude, that's wrong. The Axehandle Hound eats axe handles, and maybe some other discarded tools. That's weird even by youkai standards.

>>26884
Oops, didn't see the "not".

I'd say "C. Teakettler" because the HideBehind is known to specifically eat just the intestines.

>>26887

Really now? Didn't know that about the Hidebehind.

Well, nonetheless, after a little thought, I'm going with:

[X] Try to guess. Save the lifeline for future questions.

If this were a different question I might lean the other way, but I have to wonder if any of our teammates would really know. Camilla is from Makai, Raquel is obsessed with the past, Victoria is only interested in LOVE, Tacita doesn't seem to be from the same exact world as us, and Dipshit doesn't seem to have any interest in this sort of subject.

I just don't think they would give us much useful input.

I guess it's the Teakettler since the others do have interesting eating habits and I never heard of a Teakettler diet before.

[ ] Try to guess. Save the lifeline for future questions.

[x] Try to guess. Save the lifeline for future questions.

[x] Try to guess. Save the lifeline for future questions.

[x] Try and guess.
-C. Teakettler.

A quick search through wikipedia reveals it.

[x] Try and guess.
-C. Teakettler.

[x] Try and guess.
- C. Teakettler.

The phrase "North American youkai" sounds so very, very wrong.

Writing this took a very long time because it involved browsing wikipedia, and therefore getting sidetracked constantly.

>>26887

Coincidentally, I didn't know that about the Hidebehind either. I was counting "eats people" as an unusual diet because, well, for the region it's pretty unusual.
However, that intenstines thing does make the answer a lot less ambiguous, so... I got lucky, I guess.

>>26907

I knew someone was going to try this. I should have specified "no write-ins".
Short answer: the main character does not have pan-dimensional wireless internet access built into his head.

>>26932

Well, they are all really speaking in Japanese, so that phrase never happened. That totally counts, right?
The real moral of the story is 'fuck yes Jackalopes'. I am imagining Reisen + Keine here.

---

[X] Try to guess. Save the lifeline for future questions.

But no. You aren't really sure if your teammates could help. Raquel is probably pretty knowledgable, but her field is archeology. This stuff is far too recent for it to be in the sights of an archeologist, so you can't count on her knowing. Tacita is from Rome (er, Italy?) or Greece or something, you still never asked, so she wouldn't know. Although, you aren't really sure how someone with goat legs could hide their entire life, so perhaps she is from another sealed world like Gensokyo? Anyway, you aren't even sure where Victoria is from, let alone if she has any interests beyond stalking women. She probably has some other interest, but it could be croquet for all you know. Wafflecone isn't interested in this stuff, you think. You wouldn't want to rely on him anyway. And Camilla... well, this is a Makaian gameshow, and Shinki was able to make the question, so presumably it's something that residents of Makai could know. But Camilla is just a kid, and if you understand the timeline here she might not even be ten years old.
So you are going to have to guess. Well, the obvious answer is D. All of the others are named after items, so presumably they eat those. Axe handles, cactuses, and tea kettles. But unless the hidebehind eats behinds, it wouldn't fit that theme. "I'll go with D."

"Is that your final answer?" Shit. You know what that question means.

Well, what could you have done wrong? Apparently you shouldn't have gone by the theme naming. So, think. The axehandle hound probably eats axe handles. Axe handles are small, organic, and something that people might lose and need a creature to blame for it. The cactus cat... well, cacti are pretty big. You can't imagine someone eating a cactus. However, people did eat parts of the cactus (namely, the water and flesh inside), so the cactus cat could do that. The teakettler... tea kettles aren't organic, and they aren't something that people would misplace often. However, who says it eats tea kettles just because it's called the teakettler? It might eat tea leaves or something. The hidebehind eats weird things, apparently, and it's name does not make it obvious. But maybe the cactus cat looks like a cactus instead of eating them?
...
Oh, screw it. "I'll go with C."

"Correct." Whew. "Next question. Which of the following terms describes a form of mysticism which holds that the universe is an illusion?"
"A. Pantheism.
B. Acosism.
C. Dualism.
D. Nihilism."

Okay, that isn't too bad. You aren't quite sure what Pantheism means in this context, but it probably has to do with gods. Dualism has to do with the innate differences between things, which would be rather pointless to consider if everything was an illusion. Nihilism doesn't have anything to do with mysticism; it's a philosophical doctrine. So it has to be...
"B."

"Is that your final answer?" You can't imagine you got that wrong.
Well, wait, after the first few questions they do begin to ask that. Just another odd similarity to a TV show that Makai couldn't concievably get. "Yes."

"Correct. Next question. In Slavic myth, Koschei the Deathless was immortal because..."
"A. His soul was hidden in a magic needle.
B. He drank an immortality-potion.
C. He was granted immortality by a god.
D. The source of his immortality was never explained."

You actually know this one, surprisingly. It's not knowledge you particularly expected to ever need to know, but... "A."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes." Although... "Coincidentally, does that mean that Koschei was real also?"

She pauses. "I believe."

"So he's out there even now, ravishing women or whatever it was he did I've forgotten?"

"No, I think he got killed. With a name like Koschei the Deathless he was just asking for it."

Huh. "Okay. Next question?"

"Speaking of sympathetic magic, in the common implementation of sympathetic magic..."
Whoah shit. This question isn't about common mythological versions of magic or anything. It's about actual magic. You don't know practical magic theory like a magician does. You just know that you can point at things and shoot out energy-bullets, kill yaks at one hundred paces, etc.
Maybe if you had learned magic the hard way you would know this crap, but... you can't understand a bit of this. Your eyes are sliding off the options on the sign.
"Can I... use my lifeline?" You are glad you saved it.

"Alright." She turns to the crowd. "You heard the man."

You see your team members chattering among themselves, presumably discussing the problem. You can't hear them or anything, so you don't know for sure. It looks like Raquel and dumbface have the most to say. Well, Tacita seems like a youkai with minimal interest in magic, and Camilla is (again) just a kid, so it makes sense.
After a few minutes, Shinki snaps you out of your daze. "And will you go with that answer?"

"Er, yeah, sure."

A pause.

"Correct." Whew. Good job, teammates. "Next question. In the Guatemalan creation story, Popol Vuh, when the god's second attempt at creating humans, they destroyed their creations in various ways. What was a method which was not used?"
"A. Inanimate objects coming alive and attacking them.
B. Showers of resin.
C. The gods coming down and dismembering them.
D. A rain of fire."

Well, that's a... morbid question. Your immediate instinct is A, because the thought of inanimate objects attacking people is pretty ridiculous, but you don't immediately commit. This is one of the later questions, so presumably the answer isn't that obvious.
Popol Vuh... that name is kind of familiar. You think you've read it before...
Oh, right! And the men were made out of wood, and they were violently killed by their own gods for reasons that escape you. You remember mention of a flood, and resin, yes... inanimate objects... something about being attacked by houses and trees? Direct, in-person dismembering sounds like a pretty good bet too. It sounds like the kind of thing such sadistic gods would do.
So the rain of fire it is. Odd, since that seems like the most obvious of the answers, but you don't remember any mention of fire. It'd be pretty incompatable with flooding anyway, and it'd hurt all the attacking inanimate objects and stuff. "D."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes."

"Correct." She smiles. "You know quite a lot about mythology."

"It's a little bit of a hobby." You kind of wish there had been more questions on mysticism and magic, though.
Actually, that one question on real magic stumped you. So maybe you shouldn't complain.

"Well, then, next question. There have been, in known Earth history, three Earth-Moon conflicts. Which of the following was the stated reason behind the moon's involvement in the second conflict?"
"A. Lunarian power politics.
B. Earth aggression.
C. The impurity of earth humans.
D. A flag that a human astronaut had planted on the moon."

Wait a second, earth-moon conflicts? Has she shifted from mythology to conspiracy theory? You find it hard to believe that Lance Armstrong provoked a secret war against aliens. Doubly so, because he was a cyclist, and it was Neil Armstrong who was the astronaut. So maybe you should have used the right name the first time.
Well, thinking about it, even though you know nothing about this subject, it doesn't seem like a hard question. A and C are essentially obvious non-answers. You can't imagine anyone openly saying that they are entering a war for the reason of power politics, even if that is their true motive. And C seems... downright racist. So B and D seem to be the obvious ones, and of them B seems to be the better choice. A flag is a flag, and while it is a symbol of ownership, claiming that the United States were actually being aggressive would make a stronger case then claiming that they were exercising the human tendency to thoughtlessly claim things other people already own. "I'll go with B."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, but the answer was D." Aw. Well, it's no huge surprise. "Wait a bit. Once everyone else is done, the spells will lower and the winner will be announced."
So you... wait. You chat lightly with Shinki, but you are on air so you feel pressured to not talk as freely as you normally do.
After about five minutes, the curtains all draw aside, and sound comes back. You get the tail-end of an argument between Patchouli and Shinki.
"-but the Bavarian Illuminati had no true ruling power, beyond a number of members in the nobility and such-"
"Yes, but the question was about the modern perception of the Illuminati, not the original group itself." Shinki makes a frustrated sound. "I don't have time to debate with you. If you really have that much of a problem, take it up with the person who writes these questions."
All but one of the Shinkis vanish, and Shinki Prime goes to the podium. "The results are, for those who weren't counting, three people tied at seven questions answered correctly each. Patchouli, Koishi, and..." she gestures in your direction, floundering for words, "that guy. Therefore, there will be a three-way tiebreaker round."
Three grinning stage tech demons come up, each holding what seems to be a long wooden staff with padded ends. You get offered one, and hold it awkwardly. What in the world are these going to be used for?
"Now, the rules for the qualifying round:" Shinki waves her hand, and suddenly a glowing ring appears in the center of the stage. You, Patchouli, and Koishi stay in it, while the others are forced out. "The last person standing in the ring wins. No magic or youkai special abilities allowed. Get at it."
Wait, what? Gladitorial combat?
Patchouli tenses up.
You sigh. "Might as well get this over with."
One swing. "Mukyuuuu!" And Patchu is down.
Another swing. Miss.
Another. Koishi falls forward and your swing hits empty air. She turns the fall into a forward somersalt, and bounces off the ground like a ball, then lands on a single foot and starts spinning in place.
Oh lord. How did Koishi even get this far? You really wish she hadn't.
You duck as she throws the stick at you. She then hops over on one foot, grabbing Patchouli's stick as she goes, and swings at you. You don't even need to dodge, she didn't swing the thing the right way to hit you.
You sense something behind you and you lean to the side on instinct, and a stick flies past where your head was. Did... did Koishi throw that thing so that it bounced off the floor and came back at head level?
She catches it with her left hand, and begins dual-wielding the sticks.

...

You stand in the center of the circle, eyeing Koishi and panting heavily. Okay, that was kind of excruciating, but you won. You managed to eventually make her dodge and prance her way outside of the ring, to win by ring-out. It's... not what you expected a game show to end in.

Shinki walks up, and holds your hand up. "I now proclaim you the next winner of 'Who Wants to be an Archduke of Hell'!"
"So... do I get to be an archduke of hell?"
"I'm sorry, but the show never actually gave leadership positions. It's just a name. Speak to Ran for your prize."
"Okay. I wanna to thank you, for doing that splitty thing to give a lot of questions, and I wanna thank Camilla for briefing me, and-"
Your roommate jumps onto the stage. "Yo, I'm real happy for you and I'll let you finish, but I have one of the best victories of all time!"

You kick him off the stage. You manage to muster up enough strength to send him flying almost thirty feet. Youkai strength is so cool. He doesn't look that unhappy about it, though, and manages to land on his feet and with nary a scratch despite doing nothing to try to control his fall. Jeeze, the things someone will do if they know they will be able to get away with it.
"That... that killed the mood." You walk up to Ran, who has taken the podium. "So... what do I get?"

"Well, you get to have a magical implement."

"Magical... implement? That's very specific."

"I mean a wand or staff or some other item for focusing magic."

"That doesn't have much to do with this game."

"Well, Yukari wanted the prize to be 'own Mayohiga for a day', but I had to veto that. I have enough work cleaning up after her. Look, just pick something, okay?"

Such a broad category... "I'll have to think about it."

"Well, while you do, I'll announce the next game." She claps her hands several times, and the people in the crowd who weren't paying attention turn. Actually, they seemed to be distracted by something going on down there. Are those... kegs? "As some of you may have guessed, our next event is a drinking contest." A great many cheers. "I don't think I need to explain the rules. You are all familiar with how those things go, right?" More cheers, presumably at getting to the getting wasted sooner.

Well, you better pick fast then. You wouldn't want to be mobbed by angry people for holding up their celebrations.
You should also consider if you want to participate in the drinking contest. You've never been a huge drinker, but you are surely better at it now that you are a youkai. And you've sat out a lot of the events, too. But would you have fun?

[ ] You want...
-[ ] something nice and classic. Maybe one of those sticks like Reimu has.
-[ ] a wand worthy of fucking Harry Potter.
-[ ] something cool, like a bladed staff. Ooh, or a chainsaw staff. Please let it be a chainsaw staff.
-[ ] a gun or something. You can focus magic with ranged weapons, right? And you already have that bonesaw.
-[ ] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
-[ ] Write-in.

[ ] You will...
-[ ] drink with all your might!
-[ ] drink, but not force yourself if it gets too hard to go on.
-[ ] drink in moderation.
-[ ] sit it out.
-[ ] Write-in.

---

It was becoming harder to think up good questions so you lost at seven. Sorry.

Unrelated, but why is Patchouli so mystified by the workings of rockets in Silent Sinner in Blue? I thought she was a previous acquaintance of Remilia, which would mean that she only entered Gensokyo some time after 1990. She would have been alive and in the outside world in the 60s.

[X] You want...
-[X] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
"Surely you wouldn't deprive an old man of his walking stick?"

[X] You will...
-[X] sit it out.
Obviously, there will be oni participating. There's no chance of winning.

-[x] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
-[x] sit it out.

We have two victory's under our belt. Give the others a chance.

-[x] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
-[x] drink, but not force yourself if it gets too hard to go on.

[X] You want...
-[X] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
"Surely you wouldn't deprive an old man of his walking stick?"

[X] You will...
-[X] sit it out.

Fuck year.

-[x] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
-[x] sit it out.

[X] You want...
-[X] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
"Surely you wouldn't deprive an old man of his walking stick?"

[X] You will...
-[X] sit it out.

>>26932

It is probably the word someone from Japan would go to for a fearsome mythical creature that roams the backwoods harassing and or eating people though. On a random side note this has reminded me how badly North American folklore tends to be unrepresented in fiction. We need more Wendigos, Thunderbirds, Jersey Devils, etc

>Unrelated, but why is Patchouli so mystified by the workings of rockets in Silent Sinner in Blue? I thought she was a previous acquaintance of Remilia, which would mean that she only entered Gensokyo some time after 1990. She would have been alive and in the outside world in the 60s.

P-p-p-plot hole!

Just another thing to add to my list of "reasons why SSiB was just a bad dream".

Anyways,

[X] You want...
-[X] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
"Surely you wouldn't deprive an old man of his walking stick?" (This totally won me over)

[X] You will...
-[X] Drink with all your might!

[x] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
-[x] Dirnk with all your might.

-[X] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
-[x] Drinnk with all your might and make drunken passes at Nue.

[X] You want...
-[X] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
"Surely you wouldn't deprive an old man of his walking stick?"

[X] You will...
-[X] sit it out.

[x] You want...
-[x] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.
[x] You will...
-[x] sit it out.

After encountering Shinki twice, each time getting a gameshow from her, and seeing her split into multiple copies of herself... I was kind of hoping for the opportunity to ask for a Shinki of our very own.

Ah well. Maybe another time.

[X] You want...
-[X] an item appropriate to your status as Youkai of Travel.

[X] You will...
-[X] sit it out.

Actually, maybe instead of just getting some generic wand or something, you should get something more thematic. Something which represents your power and station. Something like a walking stick, or a segway, or something.
"Ran, can I have something that is appropriate to me as Youkai of Travel? Like a kickass historical walking stick, or a flying car, or something cool like that." Could you even use a flying car as a focus? It'd be pretty big... but it would be totally awesome to fight in danmaku battles in a friggin flying car so that makes up for it all.
She frowns. "We have some zimmer frames, I think."
Oh no no no no. You aren't some old man. You'd be a laughingstock if you tried to use that. This sounds like a time for a pithy quote. "Surely you wouldn't deprive an old man of his walking stick." You try to look wise and clever.
Ran stares at you blankly. "I'm not sure if we have any..."

You hear clapping. From straight behind you. You turn around, and Yukari is leaning out of a gap. "My, my. I must commend your taste. I think I can find something for you..."
She thinks for a moment, and then pulls a cane out of a gap and drops it into your hands. "This cane was once owned by a physicist."

"A physicist." You were especing a wizard's cane or something. "Any physicist in specific?"

"No-one you've heard of."

"Er, thanks?" You twirl the cane in your hand. It's not a bad cane, but it doesn't seem to have any awesome magic powers.

"He got a fancy prosthetic leg, though, so he no longer needs it." She glances to the side and winks. Er, what? She wasn't even facing anyone. "So it's not like he will be missing it now that you have it, or anything."

You... you hadn't actually thought much about the fact that Yukari has been kind of stealing all of these things so far. Does that make you a bad person?
Oh, whatever, it's all harmless fun. "Thanks, I guess."

"No problem." She drifts off. "It looks like the people down there have already started. Oh so enthusiastic, ufufufuf~"

She twirls around. It looks kind of weird since you can't see her lower half, like she is on a mind-bending impossibility of a turntable. "And are you going to join them?"

Well, will you? You don't think you have much of a chance. You hear that some types of youkai are mean drinkers...
"I'll sit it down."

"Well, now, aren't you boring?" She drifts closer to you, giggling. "You are offered free alcohol, and you won't so much as drink lightly for your own enjoyment? I bet you were the type who would awkwardly sit around in parties, not having fun, if you even went to them at all."

That is disturbingly spot-on. "Of course not! I know how to have fun!"

"Ufufufufufufu♪" And she drops into the gap, which closes up.

Well, might as well go down there and see what's going on.

---

There's Nue. She is drinking from a can. Kogasa is sitting nearby, cheering her on and drinking some herself.

"I see you're participating?"

"And I'm aiming for the gold!"

"You thank you have a chance?" Ichirin leans over, red-faced. Unzan is by her side, staring longingly at a bottle of sake. It must suck to be a cloud.

"Of course!"

"Even with Oni here? They're meeeean drinkers!" Ichirin glaces at Unzan. "Here, let me..." She opens the bottle and pours the entire thing into Unzan. He just seems to absorb the alcohol. Maybe... maybe his problem wasn't drinking, but opening the bottle without crushing it and getting broken glass everywhere?

"Of course!" Nue taps her nose. "I'm using strategy."

This you've gotta hear. "And what kind of strategy can you exercise at drinking contests? 'Drink fast'?"

"Ran never specified how fast you have to drink, or what you need to drink. So I've been drinking light stuff." Nue gulps down some more.

"Still, think you can win against youkai who are legendary for their alcohol tolerance?"

"I'm confidant in my abilities!" She wipes some sweat off her forehead.

"You're sweating. That doesn't seems confidant to me."

Kogasa frowns. "He's right! Don't be scared, I'll cheer you on!"

Nue laughs. "That, kid, is my secret." She gulps down some more alcohol, and then shoves her sweat-stained sleeve in your face.
You flick out your tongue, and get a good whiff. It... smells like alcohol?

"I modified my body's metabolism. A little bit of shapeshifting here and there, and now I sweat pure alcohol. Almost every bit of alcohol I drink just comes out my sweat gland, and isn't metabolized."

That... that plan probably has a flaw, and if you knew more about chemistry you might even be able to point it out. "Isn't that cheating?"

Kogasa frowns again. "He's right! That sounds like cheating to me!"

Nue laughs. "All's fair in love and war, right?" Another deep gulp. "Well, all's fair in alcohol also. This isn't a game for fools!"

Well, speaking of fools... "Actually, I have a fool I should be checking on. I bet it will be absolutely hilarious."

"Have fun!" Nue waves. Kogasa smiles at you, and waves her umbrella. Ichirin seems to be absorbed with Unzan now. They both are beginning to look pretty drunk. So neither can hold their liquor?

You walk off. Oh, hey, there are the two Oni. They seem to have attracted a pretty sizable crowd.

"Drink drink drink!" Well, someone's enthusiastic.

"Wow Yuugi, yer... yer sake don't even drop." the little Oni, what was her name, is slurring.

"Hahaha, Suika. Drink up and maybe you'll grow up to be as cool as me!" She grabs an oversized bottle of Sake and pours it down Suika's throat.

While Suika is busy swallowing, Yuugi notices you. "Oh, hey! How're you going, man?"

"I'm okay."

"Have time to drink?"

"Sorry, but I'm on important business."

"Ah well." She waves you off.

Okay, now where's that-
Ah-hah!

That bastard is drinking and chatting with some girl with long blue hair.
"-and then she stabbed me again!"

"Er, ouch?"

"It was great!"

"Wait a second, so when I asked if it was okay to hit on you, you thought I meant..."

Oh, he looks so uncomfortable suddenly. You must bail him out, it's your duty!
You walk up to him and kick him in the head. He's knocked off to the side.

"Wow, can you kick me too?"

Uh. Wait, shit, now you are the one feeling uncomfortable. "Er, no. I don't have anything against you."

"Oh, deprivation play, is it?"

...this was a stupid idea. "If I hit you will you go away?"

She nods eagerly. Well, you might as well get this over with-
Wait a second, is she stripping?

You aren't quite sure how to handle this.
Wait! Idea. "Okay, time to hit you with the book." You clear your throat. "I find you in violation of several public decency laws. If you persist I will have to alert the police."

While she is still confused you hightail it out of there. You really don't want to deal with people like that.
Oh, hey, it's your other teammates. The ones who aren't huge assholes.

Camilla is looking around uncomfortably. "Not old enough to drink?"

"I've drunk a little before, but only a little bit at a time." So maybe Makai is like Italy or something. Good to know?

"Well, we can be... not-getting-drunk buddies. Or something."

"Okay."

You look around. Tacita seems to be drinking wine (how nice of Yukari, to provide so many different varieties of alcohol), Raquel is slamming down some cheap-looking beer (how nice of... actually, you know what, you shouldn't complement someone for stocking up on crap beer like that), and Victoria is... er, still missing.
Tacita wanders over. "She has some pretty good wine, actually. Not quite as good as where I come from, but still not bad."

"Oh, does she? I wouldn't know. I couldn't tell fine wine from dishwater, really."

She smiles. "I'm no connoisseur, either. And I don't have much chance of winning, too. I just figure it's free wine, and it's probably not poisoned or laced with drugs or anything." She takes another sip.
Well, gee, that actually made you more glad you aren't drinking. You wouldn't put it past Yukari to lace all of the alcohol with date rape drugs or something, for shit and giggles.

She looks over at Raquel. "And it looks like she doesn't have a fine sense taste either."

That was... actually a little rude, but if the archeologist hears she doesn't object.

Camilla, you notice, is looking at your cane. "How was it like, being on the show?"

"I... felt like I should have been nervous, but I was actually surprisingly calm. I spent most of the time just thinking rationally about things I didn't quite remember."

"Huh. All of the contestants always look so nervous, when I watch it on TV."

"Maybe it's because in the normal game they don't get a cash prize if they answer wrong? There's more at stake, in that case."

"That makes sense."

"Well, as long as both of us aren't drinking, want to go for a walk or something? Maybe I could go check up on Nue again."

"Okay."

---

You spend the next two hours or so mostly in such idle conversation. Before long Ichirin and Unzan are totally wasted. Apparently, before they pass out, they started dancing, but you missed it. You sorely regret that loss, as the idea of Ichirin and Unzan drunkenly dancing is hilarious.
You don't spend much time looking for Byakuren or Shou, but they seem to be treating this as more of a social event. Not nearly as fun, and they only get a little drunk because of it.
Nue eventually passes out, also. You aren't sure if it's from drunkenness or the effects of screwing with her own physiology so much, but she didn't last as long as she had said she would. Kogasa falls asleep also, and you end up carrying them both to somewhere where they weren't likely to get trampled or anything. You felt a strong urge to take advantage of the situation, but resisted.
Raquel eventually joins up with the Oni and gets her ass utterly kicked, but seems to win their respect with her courage. Huh.
Tacita actually is reduced to incoherence not too long after your talk with her. Apparently the wine was drugged, but nothing else was. You aren't sure if you should congratulate Yukari's amazing foresightful sense of irony or condemn the fact that she fucking drugged the wine. The last you checked up on her, Tokiko was sitting next to her and reading a book, looking very uncomfortable about the situation.
Gilliganface ended up getting pretty drunk, and apparently went off to hit on girls who didn't want to be hit. You really weren't feeling energetic enough to try to stop him, though.
Camilla eventually went off on her own. You think she went to go talk to Shinki and Alice, but you were pretty distracted.
Nearly an hour and a half in, the paper men began filling the table with food. Ran said that it was complementary.
...if they were going to provide free food, why provide it after everyone had been drinking for an hour and a half? Aren't you not supposed to drink on an empty stomach?

But now Yukari's plan has become clear.
Ran has taken the stage, looking a bit flustered. "And now, the final event. A danmaku tournament."
Cheers. Mostly rather incoherent, slurred cheers. Of course Yukari decided to make the drinking competition be the second-to-last event, so that everyone would be shitfaced drunk for the competition of skill and coordination.

"Every team should choose one person, to be their champion in the tournament. Meet up in, oh, ten minutes."

You take stock of the situation. You are entirely sober, and so is Camilla. Tacita has passed out, and so has Raquel. That bastard is still mobile, but pretty drunk. Victoria has yet to be un-spirited-away.
Most of the other people here look to be pretty drunk. Eirin and Satori are both totally sober, though; they presumably saw this coming. Suika and Yuugi both seem pretty energetic, but they also seem to have not noticed that the drinking tournament ended ten minutes ago, and that Suika now has a second gourd.
You could enter yourself, and then you might have a decent chance at winning. What with so many of your probable opponents being utterly blitzed.
On the other hand, you could nominate dumbstupid to be the team champion. Then you could have the pleasure of watching him get his ass kicked, maybe even by the same girls he has been hitting on.

(Pick one.)
[ ] You should participate, yourself.
[ ] You can't resist the urge to watch that bastard get his ass kicked, no sir.
[ ] Write-in.

[ ] If you don't participate. (Pick two.)
-[ ] Make sure ___ is/are okay. (Pick one.)
--[ ] Nue and Kogasa
--[ ] Tacita and Tokiko
--[ ] Victoria
--[ ] Someone else. (Write-in.)
-[ ] Go ask Yukari what the hell is wrong with her. Seriously.
-[ ] Try to rig the fight in the favor of...
--[ ] The person on your team.
--[ ] Someone else. (Write-in.)
-[ ] Go see what ___ are up to. (Pick one.)
--[ ] Byakuren and Shou
--[ ] Kanako and Suwako
--[ ] Reimu and Marisa
--[ ] Shinki and Alice
--[ ] Someone else. (Write-in.)
-[ ] WHAT IS LOVE? (Not now, you aren't in a car!)
-[ ] Write-in.

Ran didn't recognize my Gandalf the White quote? For shame.

[X] You should participate, yourself.

Time to prove that we are an EX boss.

[X] You should participate, yourself.

Let's show fagballs how its done.

[X] You should participate, yourself.

Time to show them what a real incident starter is like, not that faggot.

[X] You should participate, yourself.
The bonesaw is for physical attacks, yes, but I want to know if that cane has power as a focus item for danmaku.
Well that and I want to see how much as his skills improved after travelling so fucking much.

[ ] You should participate, yourself.

cane? physicist? really nice prosthetic leg? why do i have a feeling we just got the cane from that one anon that won over nitori and saved the world from a moe blackhole?

>>26972
This CYOA has been referencing other CYOAs. Of course Yukari took the cane from Bill Nye. Note that she also leaned on the fourth wall.

[X] You should participate, yourself.
[X] Send Camilla to check on Nue and Kogasa.

If Nue's still sweating pure alcohol, that also means her sweat evaporates at a much lower temperature, and consequently, she'll get much cooler than usual. Add in the fact that thermoregulation is much less efficient while sleeping, and her temperature might end up dropping dangerously.

Or I might be overthinking this a little. But sending Camilla to throw a blanket on her seems like a nice thing to do regardless.

>A pimp cane.

>We have a fucking pimp cane fuck yes.

[x]You should participate yourself.
-[x]When done, cane the shit out of Tenshi. Fuck yes Tenshi.

[X] You should participate, yourself.
[X] Send Camilla to check on Nue and Kogasa.
No harm in checking up on the aspiring young drunkard.

[X] You should participate, yourself.
-[X] Send Camilla to check on Nue and Kogasa.

But... you should participate yourself. This might be a good chance to challenge yourself, and see if you've been improving. You have quite a bit more experience now then you did in your first fight. You journeyed quite a lot, and saw many odd places. Maybe that would help your power, since you are the Youkai of Travel?
Plus you have this cane. This thing is bound to make you more badass, right? Only cool dudes use canes.

You should check out with everyone. Well, let's see, Raquel and Tacita aren't in any condition to make decisions, so... You quickly track down Camilla. She is, indeed, with Shinki and Alice. "Yo Camilla do you mind if I go and danmaku people?"

"Oh, okay. Good luck."

Although, thinking about it, someone should look after some of those people who passed out... "Ah, can you do me a favor?"

"Okay."

"Can you look after Nue and Kogasa, once you are done talking to Shinki? They both passed out, it seems."

Shinki says something along the lines of 'my my', but you aren't really paying attention. Kinda in a hurry.

She sticks out her tongue. "That doesn't sound very safe. I'll look after them, then."

"Thanks."

You leave, waving to Shinki. Alice too, but she seems to be too busy talking with Shinki to notice. You wouldn't want to interrupt her, anyway.

Okay, who else is conscious and not-missing?
...No, you don't feel any need to ask that bastard for his opinion.

You walk up to the stage again. You see other people gather up there, with you. Eirin, Satori, Byakuren, Flandre, Suwako, that weird blue-haired girl you met earlier... you don't see anyone for that team that Yuyuko was part of, though. Somebody has set up a large electronic-looking board on the Yakumo household, presumably for showing the matchups and instant replays or something.
Ran glances around. "It looks like the contestants have gathered." She writes something down on a piece of paper, and then puts it on the podium. "Now, the match-ups will be determined by our random number chenerator."
A catgirl steps forward, looking a bit curious. "Yes, Ran-shama?"
"Chen, I want you to say the numbers one to eight, in any order you want. Okay?"
"I... I'll try!" She puts on a look of concentration. Is this really that hard, or does she just have performance anxiety? "3... 6... 7... 5... 4... 2... 1... 8!"
Ran writes a bit more down at the paper. She taps it and it glows. The electronic board lights up with the tournament bracket.
"The matchups are... Eirin versus Satori, Byakuren versus Suwako, Tenshi versus me, and... the new kid versus Flandre." Ran gives you an exasperated look. Oh, so Ran is participating as the representative of her team. Okay.
...
Wait shit you have to fight Flandre?

---

The first three matches go by, but you are hardly paying attention. You are semi-meditating. Resting your mind and body. Trying not to freak out. Ran was providing commentary the entire time, but you kind of tuned it out. Not going to get any better at danmaku by just watching the pretty colors go by.
Coincidentally, Eirin wins against Satori, Byakuren beats Suwako, and Ran rather spectacularly defeats Tenshi. Nothing too surprising; even the extreme happiness Tenshi took in taking direct hits. While she was fighting Chen took over for the commentary also, and it was so adorable you couldn't help but half-listen.
Byakuren's fight was kind of pretty. It was the first time you have ever seen her fight, and that ornate flowery aura is pretty amazing. It made Suwako's frog aura look silly. And speaking of silly, when you heared Suwako declare the card "Froggy Braves the Elements" you almost burst out laughing. Really broke your concentration.
Eirin versus Satori wasn't really any contest. Why do they keep facing off against each other like that? Eirin did have some pretty cool danmaku, though. Lots of dark-cored energy bullets in red and blue. Satori, on the other hand, was using spells that looked like Reimu's. It didn't really help her.

But... the time to be calm and watchful is over.
You walk up to the center stage, as an instant replay of Ran launching herself like a kyuubi cannonball into Tenshi plays on the screen.
Flandre comes up beside you, almost bouncing with excitement. During the last three matches she got increasingly more and more antsy and jittery, presumably in anticipation.

"We can finally play!"

"Er, I look forward to it too. Don't be too hard on me, okay?"

"Aw, but you look pretty tough to me. And I'm not gonna make you go kyu, okay?"

"Oh, okay." That's a relief. "You won't be able to play with me for any longer if you make me go kyu, yes."

She grins, and you get a good view of her fangs. "I was just gonna say that it's against the rules so Patchy would give me some big talk later if I did it, but you have a good point too."

That sure did a lot to put you at ease.

Ran gets back to the podium, wearily dusting herself off. "Alright, our next fight is Flandre versus... I'll just call you Stupid for now, okay? Until I hear your name."

"Let's go!" Flandre beats her jingly jingly wings and lifts into the air. You reluctantly follow.

You just realized. This might be a good time to come up with a strategy or something.

(Pick one.)
[ ] Full out offense!
[ ] Total defense!
[ ] Use a balanced approach.
[ ] Switch around, try to surprise her.
[ ] Write-in.

(Pick one.)
[ ] Use the cane as a focus. It'll probably make your danmaku stronger, right?
[ ] Use the bonesaw for... something. She's tiny, so she's gotta have tiny guts, right? Rip and tear! (Probably against the rules, but Rannonball wasn't either, so whatever.)
[ ] MAYBE THE SUWAKOHAT WILL SAVE YOU?
[ ] Fight as you have been before.
[ ] Write-in.

---

Would have made it longer, but I want to go to sleep. I figured you might want at least a little input here, anyway.
These match-ups really were random, by the way.
As in, I had someone who had no idea what was going on list numbers from 1 to 8 in any order, and that's the order I got.

[x] Dodge like a motherfucker!
[x] Use the cane as a focus. It'll probably make your danmaku stronger, right?

[x] Switch around, try to surprise her.
She has power and experience, but her 'condition' denies the latter. Let's use that.
-[x] Use the cane as a focus. It'll probably make your danmaku stronger, right?
*[x] Fight as you've never fought before.

Sorry for the latter, I couldn't help it, after seeing that option. It's like a shonen cliche (but not for that less effective)
Let's leave the Suwako hat for emergencies, by the way.

[x] Switch around, try to surprise her.
-[x] Use the cane as a focus. It'll probably make your danmaku stronger, right?

[x] Switch around, try to surprise her.
-[x] Fabulously twirl your pimp cane, using it as a danmaku focus in the most stylish way possible.
[x] Fight as you've never fought before.

>>27000
I like it, though you seem to have missed the part where we only get one of each vote.

[x] Switch around, try to surprise her.
-[x] Fabulously twirl your pimp cane, using it as a danmaku focus in the most stylish way possible.

>I like it, though you seem to have missed the part where we only get one of each vote.

Whoops, I did indeed. In my defense, I was in a hurry this morning.

Please disregard that last part of my post, then.

[x] Fight defensively to observe her style before adjusting an offensive plan to it.
--[x] Use the cane as a focus. It'll probably make your danmaku stronger, right?

Stupid red-white trees. Er, red-black. With all of those cases for insertion and deletion.

---

[x] Switch around, try to surprise her.
[x] Fabulously twirl your pimp cane, using it as a danmaku focus in the most stylish way possible.

Well, you could start defensive and switch to offense when she gets too confidant. Or maybe vice versa. That worked well when you fought Raquel, anyway.
And maybe you could give this cane a spin. Try it out. See if it really does help you out.

Okay, you both are in position. Ran takes out her mic. "Match... start!"

Flan flaps her wings, and two spheres of red bullets fire out, one sphere a bit faster then the other. She flutters to the side, and repeats.
Okay, not that hard a pattern. You'll counter with something easy, yourself, dodge, and conserve your energy for the hard parts of the fight.
You lightly toss your cane into your left hand, and hold out your right hand. You bunch it into a fist, and fire a stream of yellow bullets in her direction. Then, with a little mental push, you make the stream oscillate.

"And it's off to an energetic start! Flandre is using her simplest non-card pattern, while Stupid is using an interesting snake-like yellow stream of bullets!"

Flan has no trouble squeezing through the gap in your stream, and you similarly easily go through her rings. She's changing position a lot so they are irregular, but it's still not a hard pattern.

She frowns and pouts. "This isn't fun at all." Then she stops the pattern abruptly and pulls out a card. "Taboo: Laevatein!"
She then pulls out this thing, like some kind of huge wavy metal wand with ornately shaped heads on either side. She grabs it two-handed, and readies to swing.

At this distance? There's no way she could hit you.
Well, unless she charged. Or the wand shot lasers. Or something.
Either way, you aim another stream of bullets at her. That wand burns with red light, and then she swings it.

With a bright red flash, the wand burns up into a huge wand of transparent red light... a laser! A weirdly shaped laser, really, but it still counts! Score, you are so good at guessing!

"And Flandre has stepped up the fight, using her well-known attack Laevatein. You know, Chen, I've heard that she has the real Laevatein. I wonder where she got it."
"I- why do you ask me these things, Ran-shama?"
"Because Yukari is too lazy to be the co-commentator."

You fling yourself to the side to avoid the laser, disrupting your stream in the process. The existing yellow bullets are wiped away by the laser. You quickly duck between a gap in the bullets following the laser.
She holds the wand straight and zooms to the side, and you have to avoid a horizontal laser sweep.
Okay, this is too distracting to use this noncard attack for.

Might as well try out another spellcard... "Travel Sign: Abundant Step!"
You calm yourself for a moment, gathering power. Flandre does another swing of the laser, but you don't even bother to dodge it this time.
The laser comes closer, closer... and when it's a hairbreath away from cutting you in half you jerk yourself to the side. You actually pass through the laser and end up on the other side, instinctually knowing that during that tiny tiny moment of superspeed you also have invincibility.
All in all, that was about six to ten feet. Not too bad, but it doesn't hold a candle to Peerless Nomad.

"So Stupid's first spellcard is a defensive one, then."
"It makes him invincible and speedy for a split-second?"
"Very good, Chen! It looks to be that way, yes. It's far too early in the match for this to be a timeout card, though, so that's probably the extent of the card's defense."

Back where you were a moment ago, a hazy copy of you in yellow energy stands. It evaporates into a cloud of lazy yellow bullets.
You avoid another laser sweep by stepping again, and as you do the bullets from your first step suddenly begin to launch themselves one by one in the general direction of Flandre.
You've just got to keep stepping like this and the bullets will keep flowing. This spell isn't actually helping you dodge too much, since you have to stand still for a moment before stepping, but against a spellcard like this that's enough.

Both of your spells end up timing out. Yours isn't that strong offensively, but is good enough defensively to make her spell easy.

"And a double time-out! Neither of those spells was too impressive, so I'm not surprised."

Flandre looks a little disappointed. Hopefully she won't just step up the fight because of that, right?
Ahaha, such misplaced hope seems foolish, even to you.
She fires some triple red spheres... basically her last pattern, but a bit more. Nothing at all hard.

You idly dodge between them. Holding out is well and good, but maybe you should try something new? Figure out this cane thing while the battle is still easy, so that you can know to use it when it gets hard. And how.
You hold out the cane in both hands, and spin it a bit, thinking.

"And it seems Stupid has gone for his cane. Is he trying to figure out how to use a focus, or is he trying to look stylish?"
"Ran, get me some more chilled sake."
"Y-yukari! I'm busy commentating, here! Ask one of the minor shikigami!"

Ignore them. You spin the cane around more, trying to focus your power into it. You feel it lighten a bit, and you do see it begin to glow faintly yellow. Yes, letting power flow into it does seem fairly natural. Not as much as firing danmaku bullets, but it's something you could get used to.
You think you've got this- oh hey. Flandre's right in your face, grinning.
OH SHI-

"Taboo! Forbidden Games!"

You nearly leap backwards as many danmaku rings explode out of her, each extending short lasers. The lasers begin to spin. Some kind of crazy danmaku meat grinder?
Looks like you'll have to figure this out sometime later. You quickly pull out a card. "Travel Sign: Peerless Nomad!"

"Stupid has declared another card, right after Flandre activated a self-centered card like that at point-blank! If he had been a moment later, that would have been game over!"

Suddenly, calm. You see the spinning storm of lasers, and you quietly analyze it.
...there. You think you have a course planned out.
You point a single finger at Flandre, and a stream of fast-moving yellow bullets fires out. You see a laser sweeping at you, so you look at an open spot; the next point in your little tour.
You want to be there. You are there.
You point at Flandre again, and fire another stream of yellow bullets. She seems a little surprised, and nearly gets hit by the sudden differently-angled shot.
Well, there's no use wasting time. You want to be at your next spot. You flick another stream of bullets at her.
You want to be at the next spot...

...you are blinking from temporary safe spot to temporary safe spot in her pattern, piercing the battlefield with lines of danmaku at unpredictable angles.
She is spinning around wildly, trying to keep up with you with her eyes. And she's smiling, her grin full of excitement.

"Well, now I'm dizzy! That's a very fast spellcard, and I'm sure it will become yet another thing Aya has to not think about when she tries to go to bed! It can beat Flandre's offense, but can Stupid's attacks beat her vampiric reaction time?"

Well, can you?
She is drifting slowly around. It seems her spell prevents her from moving fast. However, she is still dodging your lines quite easily. You can feel the spell's power failing, it's time running low, so maybe this should be time for your first surprise.

Okay, she just launched more orbs. If you wait another few moments, continuing thing as you have, you'll see a chance to... there!
You want to be behind her. You are behind her.

You poker her in the back. She wheels around, swinging laevatein in her off-hand. You fire a stream of yellow at point-blank, and then blink away.

Her spell breaks. You glance at your left arm, and see that the sleeve now has a cut. If you had been a moment slower, she would have taken off your arm, if not your entire torso.
You can't even hear Ran's commentary over the exhiliration. That was kind of a rush.

Your spell times out. You see Flandre begin firing spheres of bullets. Blue ones, this time. She looks significantly happier now. Her wings are beating with much vigor.
That was pretty fun, yes, but if you spend too much time in the moment like that she is going to blow you into bits. Or, well, beat you in danmaku, which is nonlethal. Whatever.

[ ] Fight for... (Pick one.)
-[ ] discovery.
-[ ] victory.
-[ ] enjoyability.
-[ ] suavity.

-[x] Enjoyability.
--[x] For yourself and everyone watching!

Lets make this a match to remember!

-[x] Enjoyability.
--[x] For yourself and everyone watching!

[x] Fight for...
-[x] victory.
I would.

-[x] Enjoyability.
--[x] For yourself and everyone watching!

lets give a good show, so good that ran will have no choice but to stop calling us "stupid"

Sorry for the stupid question, but why does Ran call him Stupid?
I mean, he is, but how does she know?

[X] Fight for...
-[x] Enjoyability.
--[x] For yourself and everyone watching!

>>27030
I think she's expecting him to get tired of being insulted like this so he'll shout out his name.

[x] Enjoyability.
-[x] For yourself and everyone watching!

>OP's mailto having various .gov addresses for the last few updates.
What's up with that?

[X] Fight for...
-[x] Enjoyability.
--[x] For yourself and everyone watching!

>Her spell breaks. You glance at your left arm, and see that the sleeve now has a cut. If you had been a moment slower, she would have taken off your arm

And then we could have regenerated it like fucking Piccolo. Fuck, that would have been badass.

>if not your entire torso.

I'd say the same thing, but everything indicates we don't regenerate clothing, so regenerating this would go from badass to being our most embarassing moment ever.

Anyways,

[X] Fight for...
-[x] A suave, enjoyable victory!
--[x] For yourself and everyone watching!

[X] Fight for...
-[x] Enjoyability.
--[x] For yourself and everyone watching!

>>27032
That's, um.
A very good question.

I can think of worse uses for my taxpayer dollars than paying DHSanon while he writes at work, though. Far worse.

>>27053
Don't worry, I'm definitely not a government employee here to spy on this website's supposed anti-american activities.

---

[x] Enjoyability.
-[x] For yourself and everyone watching!

But maybe you should enjoy this fight. Winning it would be nice, sure, but thinking about it you are kind of at a party. You are supposed to have fun. Also, win fabulous prizes, but you already have two (kind of mediocre) fabulous prizes. So you should go for more of the fun, then.
If you are having more fun, the people watching the match probably will also. So you shouldn't worry so much about perfect strategies, as long as you have a little... pizzaz.

You point the cane at Flandre, and pose. A quick sidestep to avoid that wave of bullets, and you pull out a card. These noncard patterns aren't really much fun to watch.

"And he's going for another spellcard! He didn't even really bother to use a noncard attack! Is he trying for a quick conclusion?"

You look at the card. You weren't really paying attention to what you were pulling out... okay, this'll work fine. It's something Flandre will respect more, probably. "Position Sign: Bilocation!"
The warmth of the spell envelops you, and once again experience the odd feeling of having two bodies.

You try to hurry up the pace of the spell, this time. You begin pumping out rings of yellow orbs as fast as you can, and have the other you alternate between rings of yellow orbs and aimed yellow kunai.

Flandre twirls to dodge a bullet, and you can see her grin grow wider. "This is a good game! I'll play too, okay?" She pulls out a card. "Taboo: Four of a kind!"
You can see her build up energy, and then... three other Flandres enter the field. They don't appear in a flash of light or anything. They just fly into your field of vision, like they had been sitting in the sidelines the entire time, waiting for Flandre to use that spell.
Each clone begins to flap her wings, showering out rings of red.

"And it's become a match between two cloning cards! A one versus one, and now it's a four versus two. Will Flandre's superior numbers prevail, or will Stupid make up for it in quality?"

Well, you aren't sure about the properties of these clones. Can they be destroyed prematurely to weaken the attack power of her spell? Four versus two doesn't seem to be a good matchup, although you seem to have a bit more firepower per clone. Her attacks seem to be mostly undirected like this, and you do have the aimed kunai...
You focus your aimed kunai at the real Flandre, but even at max output there aren't that many.

You struggle, once again, to avoid getting hit with two bodies at once. But Flandre has gotta have it worse then you, right, since she has to control four?
...but no, she looks to be having a lot of fun. She has even begun to laugh, and as her main body dodges it's way through the attacks you can tell she is purposefully dodging as narrowly as possible. Her other bodies avoid the stray bullets, but they are giving wide berth. So her control isn't good enough to do hairsbreath dodging for four bodies at once, then.
You suddenly shift your focus, targeting the aimed kunai at one of her clones instead. It doesn't surprise her enough to result in any of her bodies getting hit, though.

She begins mixing in different attacks; waves of larger projectiles in different colors. It's beginning to get hard to dodge...

You manage to get one of her clones before your spell times out, and the clone explodes in a disappointingly not-gory fashion. So, now that your spell has run out, what should you do?

Put on a good show, of course. You straighten you clothes and smile devilishly at Flandre, and then charge her headfirst. You focus power into your cane as you twirl through the waves, and you manage to get into point-blank range of the real Flandre while she is between waves of danmaku. You swing the cane around, and stop it while it is pointed directly at her face. She leaps to the side, but it's too late. You shoot out a stream of yellow orbs which knocks her at least twenty feet backwards, and the two remaining Flandre clones poof away.
She manages to regain control after a moment, and swoops off to the side, out of the path of your attack.

"And Stupid got a noncard off at point-blank! He's brave, at least."

That was a bold move. It was also a pointless move, because Flandre's spell was about to time out. But damn was it satisfying.
You twirl the cane in your hand, cutting off the steam of danmaku. You lean on it jauntily, still in midair. "So, Flandre, was that good enough for you?"

"Ahahaha! Yes, yes! Here, now you try and match me!" She pulls out a spellcard, and holds it aloft. "Forbidden Barrage: Starbow Break!"

She waves her wand, and a field of rainbow-colored danmaku bullets appear. They begin to fall towards you...

So the game is power, eh? Maybe you should match it with your own most offensive spell, and give the audience some real fireworks. "Borrowed Power: Grudge Bow!"
You hold the cane out and let the power flow through it. You launch a shower of yellow lasers away from Flandre, and as they 'fall' back towards her they turn into a rain of yellow danmaku.

"It seems they've both gone for their most straightforwardly offensive spells! I can't help but feel that Stupid's one is familiar, though."

You pour more power into it. If this game is offense, then you are damn well going to be offensive. You watch the spell unfurl, the magic power pour out like water from a firehose. A firehose that shoots lasers which then turn into bullets as they fall.
By this point, your spell is more then a spell. In fact, it's not a spell at all. It's a storm. A deadly storm that kills people and burns down trees.
And her spell, no, her storm is meeting yours half-way. The two spells clash in midair, the great amounts of magic put into each combining to create an aerial mirage. There are enough shots falling through the gaps and going deep into their opponent's patterns that this mirage is spreading over the entire field, also. Perhaps this is what the inside of a microwave looks to a tv dinner, you idly wonder.
This whole business seems oddly familiar. Almost as though it was...
Wait, the last time you did this, you ended up using too much power and falling unconcious. Nue said it was because of your inexperience, so you are probably safe. Just got to keep it from drawing too much power off you and you shouldn't have a problem.

Flandre starts laughing again. "Ahahaha! This is great, great!" Her eyes shine bright, and she begins waving her arms around. "I'm feeling alive again!"
Her spell surges in power and density, and you feel the deadlock being pushed back. Now the glowing isn't just her eyes. Even without your youkai senses you would be able to see that power, magic energy evacuating from her body like it was scared of her also.
You grit your teeth. "Like hell am I letting you!" You let the spell eat up more of your energy, and more... there is a crackling like thunder, and it's not from either of your spells. The excess magic energy is so thick on the air that it's not only a storm now, but a thunderstorm. There's a bright flash, and Ran suddenly looks a little bit more singed. Her tails seem to be quite puffed up, too. Ouch, you bet that'll be a pain to groom.
Wait, shit, didn't you just tell yourself that you wouldn't do this? You struggle to resist the urge, to dial the spell down some.

And then Flandre's spell plows straight through yours. You experience a moment of great pain, and then Flandre's spell stops.
This would probably be a good moment for a commentator's comment, but Ran seems to be busy stamping on her now-flaming hat.
Flandre frowns at you. "Is that all? I was just getting worked up! I gotta... keep from getting too excited. Or I might hurt someone." She pauses, thinking. You would use this as a chance to attack, but you are too busy catching your breath. "Maybe I should do something active. Work the excitement out of my system. Koishi was good at that, right? I was never good at meditating... I know!" Her eyes light up, and her grin is now stretching ear-to-ear. "You work out excitement by having fun, right? So I'll have fun!" She points at you. "Kyu!"

---

You open your eyes. You are sore all over, and quite tingly. Especially in your right foot.
You pull down the sheets. You seem to be entirely naked except for bandages, which are especially concentrated on your right leg.
There's a clean change of clothes by the futon, and your various spoils are by it. The bonesaw, the cane, the awesome hat, and the giant teddy bear. There is a note on the door.
You are kind of hungry.

(Pick any number, in order.)
[ ] Change into the clean clothes, pick up your sweet loot, etc.
[ ] Read the note.
[ ] Go eat breakfast (lunch? Dinner?)
[ ] Take a bath.
[ ] Wait, what happened?
[ ] Go check on someone.
-[ ] Nue.
-[ ] Kogasa.
-[ ] Tacita.
-[ ] Murasa.
-[ ] Victoria. (Where would she be, anyway?)
-[ ] Someone else. (Write-in.)
[ ] Present the teddy bear to someone.
-[ ] Nue.
-[ ] Kogasa.
-[ ] Someone else. (Write-in.)
[ ] Write-in.

Pick them in the order you want them to be executed, that is. Not in the order put there. Unless you want them to happen in that order, anyway.

Also, sorry this update was so late, but I was fighting malware and buildfiles and stuff

[X] Read the note.
[X] Change into the clean clothes, pick up your sweet loot, etc.
[X] Go check on someone.
-[X] Nue.
-[X] Kogasa.
-[X] Flandre.
[X] Present the teddy bear to someone.
-[X] MionNue.
[X] Go eat breakfast (lunch? Dinner?)

[X] Wait, what happened?
[X] Read the note.
[X] Change into the clean clothes, pick up your sweet loot, etc.
[X] Go check on someone.
-[X] Nue.
-[X] Kogasa.
-[X] Camilla.
[X] Present the teddy bear to someone.
-[X] Nue.
[X] Go eat breakfast (lunch? Dinner?)

All things considered, we did pretty well!

[X] Read the note.
[X] Change into the clean clothes, pick up your sweet loot, etc.
[X] Go check on someone.
-[X] Kogasa.
-[X] Nue.
-[X] Murasa.
[X] Present the teddy bear to someone.
-[X] Ask Nue if she's interested (not likely); if not give it to Kogasa
[X] Go eat breakfast (lunch? Dinner?)
[x] Wait, what happened? (Someone might know)

I think we're pretty clean if we got bandaged up; I suspect our leg got Kyu-ed. (case of breaking the spell card rules; though we both might have done that before hand)

And I think those three would be the most worried about us, Kogasa especially.

As far as the Teddy bear, I think Kogasa would like it more, and I doubt Nue's like a Higurashi character. But we should find out what she would like and try to find it.

[X] Wait, what happened?
[X] Read the note.
[X] Take a bath.
[X] Change into the clean clothes, pick up your sweet loot, etc.
[X] Go eat breakfast (lunch? Dinner?)
[X] Go check on someone.
-[X] Nue.
-[X] Kogasa.
-[X] Murasa.
-[X] Camilla
[X] Present the teddy bear to someone.
-[X] Kogasa.

Great, that cane was a Chekhov's Gun.

[X] Wait, what happened?
[X] Read the note.
[X] Take a bath.
[X] Change into the clean clothes, pick up your sweet loot, etc.
[X] Go eat breakfast (lunch? Dinner?)
[X] Go check on someone.
-[X] Nue.
-[X] Kogasa.
-[X] Murasa.
-[X] Camilla
[X] Present the teddy bear to someone.
-[X] Kogasa.

[X] Wait, what happened?
[X] Read the note.
[X] Take a bath.
[X] Change into the clean clothes, pick up your sweet loot, etc.
[X] Go eat breakfast (lunch? Dinner?)
[X] Go check on someone.
-[X] Nue.
-[X] Kogasa.
-[X] Murasa.
-[X] Camilla
[X] Present the teddy bear to someone.
-[X] Nue, or if Nue is not interested, Kogasa.

First order of business.
What the hell happened?

Maybe you can figure this out without leaving the room. Okay, that means this'll be an exercise in deduction. Like you are Sherlock Holmes. Except you will be trying to figure out what happened to yourself, so it'd be like Sherlock Holmes checking himself out in a mirror. He could just pretend to be surprised by his own deductions in order to keep his ego afloat, so it wouldn't be that problematic logistically.
So Flandre pointed at you and went 'kyu'. You remember that part. That is the thing she does to make things blow up. You also remember that.
So she tried to blow you up and you were knocked unconcious. Suddenly falling unconcious for unrelated reasons would be pretty unlikely, so you were probably knocked out by way of being exploded.
Given that you are covered in bandages, you were probably treated by a doctor. Maybe Eirin. Now, given the fact that you have bandages, Flandre presumably only blew up part of you. Otherwise you would have had to reincarnate or whatever it is youkai do when they no longer have enough of a body left to regenerate. And with the placement of the bandages and your sensations, you guess she probably got your right foot.
And then you were knocked out by self-shrapnel? Extreme pain? Simply being near such a destructive magic?
Maybe you weren't knocked out at all. Maybe you got, er, anterograde amnesia, you think that's what it's called, and you went on but have forgotten all about the rest of the day because of it.
No, that seems like a pretty ridiculous theory. Although that would probably mean that you got to watch as a girl bandaged your naked body, which would probably have been hilarious and/or extremely embarrassing at the time.

Yeah, you think you have figured out more or less what happened. You can get the details once you are up and about.

First, you might as well check out that note on the door. You could put your clothes on first or something, but maybe the note will tell you not to. Uh, for some reason that you can't think of now.

You walk up to the door, a bit uncomfortably. You can walk, but it's somewhat unpleasant, like your leg is asleep. You hope this'll clear up soon.
You look at the note. It appears to be a yellow post-it note.

"Look down!

~Yukarin"

You look down.
A pair of arms grabs you from above, and you feel a yank.

---

After a terrifying moment of shock, passing through the strange land between realities, you find yourself in another Japanese-styled house. It looks like the inside of one of those buildings in Mayohiga, except more lived-in.

Yukari is standing in front of you, looking absolutely exhausted. Definitely Mayohiga, then. "I..." she yawns, "I would normally be asleep by now, but I had to wait for you to read the note."

"Why?"

"I don't really need to explain that, do I?" You suppose not. If you could spirit away people at will, you would go out of your way to pull ridiculous stunts like that also.

(Pick any that you want to.)
[ ] "Why did you bring me here?"
[ ] "What happened after I lost conciousness?"
[ ] "What did you do to Victoria?"
[ ] "Could I report a cheater?"
-[ ] "My roommate apparently tricked the lesser shikigami into giving him free stuff." (Truth.)
-[ ] "My roommate robbed the stands, cheated on the games, and you would not believe it, but I caught him doing..." (Lie.)
[ ] "Do I at least get continental breakfast?"
[ ] "Couldn't you at least have waited until I got dressed?"
-[ ] "Or did you want me naked?"
[ ] "Could I ask you for a favor?"
-[ ] Write-in.
[ ] "UR A FAGET"
[ ] "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE"
[ ] Write-in.

---

Scene ending here because I wanna sleep. This vote, therefore, is kinda inconsequential. Though if you want to try to convince Yukari to give you a giant robot or something ridiculous, go ahead. I won't say no. (Yukari might, however.)

[X] "Couldn't you at least have waited until I got dressed?"
-[X] "Or did you want me naked?"
[X] "Why did you bring me here?"
[X] "Do I at least get continental breakfast?"
[X] "What happened after I lost conciousness?"
[X] "What did you do to Victoria?"

I'm wary about reporting the cheating, since we cheated too, and Yukari might catch us on that.

[x] "What happened after I lost conciousness?"
[x] "Why did you bring me here?"
[x] "What did you do to Victoria?"
[x] "Could I report a cheater?"
-[x] "My roommate apparently tricked the lesser shikigami into giving him free stuff." (Truth.)
[x] "Couldn't you at least have waited until I got dressed?"
-[x] "Or did you want me naked? You could have just asked"
-[x] "Now tell me... how happy would I make a girl?"
[x] "Do I at least get continental breakfast?"

I don't think lying to Yukari would do much good, and a slight bit of insane flirting sounds fun if to give Yukari a nice laugh at least.

[x] "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE"

[x] "What happened after I lost conciousness?"
[x] "Why did you bring me here?"
[x] "What did you do to Victoria?"
[x] "Could I report a cheater?"
-[x] "My roommate apparently tricked the lesser shikigami into giving him free stuff." (Truth.)
[x] "Couldn't you at least have waited until I got dressed?"
-[x] "Or did you want me naked? You could have just asked"
-[x] "Now tell me... how happy would I make a girl?"
[x] "Do I at least get continental breakfast?"

[x] "Couldn't you at least have waited until I got dressed?"
-[x] "Or did you want me naked?"
[x] "What happened after I lost conciousness?"
[x] "Could I report a cheater?"
-[x] "My roommate apparently tricked the lesser shikigami into giving him free stuff." (Truth.)
[x] "Do I at least get continental breakfast?"
Goddamn he just can't win a spell battle against someone strong. Oh well, he gave a goooood fight.

[x] "What happened after I lost conciousness?"
[x] "Why did you bring me here?"
[x] "What did you do to Victoria?"
[x] "Could I report a cheater?"
-[x] "My roommate apparently tricked the lesser shikigami into giving him free stuff." (Truth.)
[x] "Couldn't you at least have waited until I got dressed?"
-[x] "Or did you want me naked? You could have just asked"
-[x] "Now tell me... how happy would I make a girl?"
[x] "Do I at least get continental breakfast?"

[x] "What happened after I lost conciousness?"
[x] "Why did you bring me here?"
[x] "What did you do to Victoria?"
[x] "Could I report a cheater?"
-[x] "My roommate apparently tricked the lesser shikigami into giving him free stuff." (Truth.)
[x] "Couldn't you at least have waited until I got dressed?"
-[x] "Or did you want me naked? You could have just asked"
-[x] "Now tell me... how happy would I make a girl?"
[x] "Do I at least get continental breakfast?"

>-[x] "Now tell me... how happy would I make a girl?"
I can see Yukari sleepily mistranslating this already-strange question as "How happy a girl would I make?"

...To which she would shrug, yawn, and say "Let's find out." He would drop through a gap, and then pop out the other side... as a woman.

On the upside, we would at long last get to wear that dress that Alice made.

[X] "UR A FAGET"
[X] "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE"
[X] "WAAARGH!!!"
[X] Kill the gap demon with your bare hands

KILL YUKARI AND CLAIM HER POWERS
BECOME LORD OF GENSOKYO

>>27146
Nah there's been enough gender bending hijinks, and I couldn't think of a better way of asking "How do I measure up?" without outright saying it.

[x] "What happened after I lost conciousness?"
[x] "Why did you bring me here?"
[x] "What did you do to Victoria?"
[x] "Could I report a cheater?"
-[x] "My roommate apparently tricked the lesser shikigami into giving him free stuff." (Truth.)
[x] "Couldn't you at least have waited until I got dressed?"
-[x] "Or did you want me naked? You could have just asked"
-[x] "Now tell me... how happy would I make a girl?"
[x] "Do I at least get continental breakfast?"

"So, Yukari, what did happen after I lost conciousness?"

"Flandre was restrained and disqualified for breaking spell card rules for the battle. Eirin went to treat you, so she was out of the fight also. Ran beat Byakuren. Then after about an hour the party wound down, and everyone went home. The only person in your team still concious by that point was Camilla, so Byakuren carried about half of you home at once. I must say, it's pretty funny to see her carrying one person slung over one shoulder, and two more over the other."

You think you've got it. Sounds like you honestly didn't miss much. Except for said funny sight. "So, the organizer and commentator of the tournament won? Isn't that a bit shady?"

"My, perhaps if everyone did not implicitly trust me it would be. But they do."

Yeah, right. "What did Ran ask for, anyway?"

"Ask for?"

"For a reward."

"My, she already gets the honor of being my shikigami. Is that not reward enough?"

So Yukari refused to let Ran have anything? "Er, changing the subject, why did you bring me here?"

"Ah, but that's not changing the subject at all. As the only person to have won two contests, you get the grand prize."

Grand prize? "There was a grand prize?"

"Of course."

"You never mentioned one." Why is it that being told about the 'grand prize' like this makes you more nervous then anything?

"Well, the grand prize is being a playable character in the next incident?"

...playable character? "Huh?"

"You'll understand once the next incident comes around." She yawns. "If you have any more questions, make them quick."

"What did you do to Victoria?"

"I gave her her reward."

"I don't think she wanted that-"

"The reward she deserves." Oh joy.

"Is she going to live?"

"Of course. I just tied her up and moved her into orbit. Given the velocity I left her moving at, she should crash-land in Gensokyo a bit more then a day from now."

Of course? "That sounds highly unsafe."

"She is not particularly strong, but she is very tough. She'll survive it, don't worry." She pauses, and gets a sleepy look of realization. "Unless you meant unsafe for you. In that case, I'd reccomend staying away from Hakurei shrine for the next day or two, or else you might end up intercepting an otherwise uneventful attempt at lithobraking."

Another subject you should probably drop. "Er, could I report someone as a cheater?"

"A cheater?"

"My roommate apparently talked the shikigami manning the games of skill in the stands into giving him free stuff without playing the games."

"Oh, I already knew. And I don't really care. I stole all those things anyway. And by 'I stole them', I meant I had Ran steal them for me." A dismissive wave, and another yawn. "I might invite him over again, though, now that you mention it."

"Er, why?"

"Someone willing to so shamefacedly rob me has got to be at least a little interesting."

Maybe you should try being a little honest for once. "Does that bastard deserve all that?"

"Of course, he will have to know his place." She grins, suddenly focusing sharply. "If he insults the Yakumos like he insulted the Scarlet house, I will have to find a 'reward' for him too."

And of course he will. That'll have to do, then. "So, moving to more pressing matters." You straighten a bit. "Why couldn't you have waited till I had time to dress?" You consider gesturing, but you figure she has already gotten a sufficient look at you by now. While you like to think you wouldn't be bothered by something like this, you do have to admit you have been focusing less on where her eyes are pointed and more at the space a bit to the left of her head.

"And ruin the dramatic timing? Please."

"Of course..." You lean forward a little, smiling. "Maybe you wanted me here naked. You know, you could have just asked, I would have been happy to oblige."

"Why should I need to ask? Doing this was so much faster then asking you to come," she spits out 'asking' rather dismissively, "and so much more fun." Now a smile of her own. "And if you want to play this game, remember that your experience pales in comparison to mine. I will not say no to a challenge, though."

Your experience pales in comparison to hers? Did she just call herself old? "Well, if you are so experienced, tell me this... how happy would I make a girl?"

She gives you a curious look, her tiredness briefly retreating. "Do you have any girl in mind? Or is this a general question?"

[ ] "Well, there's this umbrella..."
[ ] "I was thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."
[ ] "How about you, my dear?"
[ ] "It's just a general question."
[ ] "Wait, did you think I meant in terms of romance? I was talking about my hot bod. As in, am I sexy?"
[ ] Write-in.

---

By putting a vote here I am just digging my hole deeper, putting off more of the things that you have already voted for for later.
Ain't I a stinker?

[x] "I was just asking about my body. I figured at worse, it'd just get a laugh out of you."
[x] "Romance? I don't know for sure, but to be honest, both a cute, supportive umbrella and a tough, mischievous yet kind shapeshifter have become quite dear to me."
-[x] "But unlike that bastard roommate, I'm not going to keep any secrets"
-[x] "Why? Because I really can't between. Such a thing is possible here right?"

I think this could be improved on.

[x] "How about you, my dear?"

Haha, if we started it, then there's no point in backing off like a faggot. Final destination: Yukarin!

[X] "I was thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

>the grand prize is being a playable character in the next incident

inb4 people calling him a slut

[X] "Well, there's this umbrella..."

>>27168
you assume he stands a chance of persuing her. This isn't SDLT's Yukari we're talking about here.

[ ] "Well, there's this umbrella..."

[x] "I was thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."
A Nue route seems most fitting for this story. Plus Kogasa's a bit simple for my liking.

[x] "Well, there's this umbrella..."
[x] "I was also thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

Why not find out about both, since we haven't chosen one yet?

[X] "Well, there's this umbrella..."

[X] "I was thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

[X] "I was thinking about a certain centuries-old shape-shifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

>>27182
Nue's Chocolate while Kogasa's vanilla.

>>27187
This guy has the right idea

[x] "I was thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

NueNueNueNueNue

{X} "I was thinking about a certain centuries-old shape-shifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

[x] "I was thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

[X] "Well, there's this umbrella..."
[X] "I was also thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

I like Nue in a more romantic way than Kogasa.
Kogasa's more like a daughter.

>>27209
Says someone who haven't given her much of a chance (the one outing we did go with her got cut short by Yuuka, no thanks to some people's stupid decisions)

What happened to that idort resolve? It'd be funny if there ends up being a Nue fan vs Nue and Kogasa fan fighting. But seriously the last thing we need is fighting between Nue and Kogasa fans.

[x] "Well, there's this umbrella..."
[x] "I was also thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

Picture was the only kogasa + teddy bear image I could find.
No, this post isn't that sad.

>>27193

Irrelevant to the story, but I like vanilla more then chocolate.

---

[x] "I was thinking about a certain centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend. With thigh-high stockings."

Well, you meant it more as a joke then anything, but... maybe you should take this chance to get some advice. You consider asking Yukari about both Nue and Kogasa, but you aren't really sure if she would appreciate indecisiveness. So, pick one, then...
"Well, I did, actually. A certain monster of antiquity, of great power and mystery." Wait, not specific enough. "With a love of messing with people and a strange fashion sense." Shit, still not specific enough. "Look, I'm talking about Nue, okay?"

She sighs. "I was hoping you would ask about Kogasa. That would have taken a lot less effort to answer." She thinks for a moment. "Well, your personalities seem pretty compatable. I think you could make her happy, yes. Of course," she nods knowingly, "you'll have to make her yours first. Since far, far before even your great-great-great-great-great-grandparents first even met, she has been alone. And if you think that means she will jump into the arms of the first man to come along and act nice to her, you need to learn more about her type of youkai."

"Does that mean I'm the first man to be nice to her?"

"The first human man to genuinely be nice to her? Oh, probably. I'm sure she has told you about the wild adventures she had when she was younger. It's nothing that would make people approach her... or even know that they could."

"So there are people who have been falsely nice to her?"

"I believe that was how she was caught and sealed away in Hell, eventually."

Oh. "You sure know a lot about her, Yukari."

"Ufufufufufu. They don't call me the Youkai Sage for nothing, boy." She grins. "Now, my advice for you is... crack that shell open! Be forceful! Make her want you! And whatever you do, don't do anything to make her feel restrained."

So, advice. She is a lot more experienced then you, but should you listen to her advice? The thought occurs that she seems to be remarkably unsuccessful in her own goal of seducing Reimu. If that is her goal, anyway, and it's not just some attempt at pissing a lot of people off.

A long yawn. "Now, I want to sleep, so go away."

"What, no parting gift? Not even complementary food? A continental breakfast?"

"No." She pauses, and then leans forward. "Boo!"

What? That was the lamest attempt at scaring you have ever seen, and you hang around Kogasa a lot (bless her soul, or lack thereof you aren't really sure). Maybe she was...
You turn around. There's a gap directly behind you. "Ah, yes, so you were expecting me to jump backwards into this-"

Yukari kicks you in the back, and you fall headfirst into the gap.

---

You land on the floor of your room with a thud. You pull yourself off the ground, and look up to see...
Shou. She stares at you, frozen in place, looking a bit embarrassed.

"And what were you doing in my room?"

She starts breathing again. "I must remind you that I clean all these rooms."

Oh, right.
...wait. "Then why were you here now? Unless you clean rooms while their inhabitants are sleeping, naked."

"Well, that's not why I was here now. I... sensed your presence vanish, and I decided to investigate. In case you had died, or teleported away in a delerium, or such."

Okay, that's not quite as fun. "I was just 'spirited away'. If you get what I'm saying."

She sighs. "Yes, I think I do. And Yukari..." She seems to notice, suddenly, that you are basically naked. "I'll... turn away, okay? I'll leave. So you can dress. Okay?"

You start to say that you don't really mind, but she's already leaving.
Might as well make the most of this. To, like, change without being stared at by women.
You walk up to the door and close it. Might as well take this note off also, now that there's no use for it anymore...

Hey, there's writing on the back.
"I could have made it so that no-one would notice you leave
but I think this was more fun.
XOXOXOXOX Yukarin"
Gee, thanks. You have to be glad that Byakuren isn't up yet, anyway. That would have been 'hilarious'.

Well, time for your next 'hilarious' thing. You pick up the clean clothes, brace yourself, and then run out of your room carrying them.
Okay, the bathhouse is... this way...

You pass by Nazrin, who doesn't even acknowledge your presence. Okay, good thing that nobody who talks much saw you streaking.
...well, Nazrin will probably tell Shou all about this. Ah well.

And... there's Murasa, at the door. She looks to be asleep.
Also, slightly transparent.

You tip-toe past her, lay out your clean clothes, and get into the bath.

---

Well, you feel nice and clean now. You had to take the bandages off, and you kinda wish you realized that before you got into the water. Ah well, you didn't really need them anyway. Just gotta toss these soggy bandages out somewhere.

You finish pulling on your clothes, and walk out of the bath. There's still Murasa.
Still asleep, still inexplicably transparent.
You'll let her sleep, and check on her later. For now... food!

Okay, you've kind of figured out by now that it's really morning. Seemingly even about the same time you normally get up. Or, well, it was before you took a bath. It should be about the tail-end of breakfast by now.
So, better get in there and eat.

You pass Kogasa on the way. She doesn't look too happy.
Silently cursing that your arbitrary itenerary for the day has been broken, you hail her down. "Hey, Kogasa, what's up? You don't look too good."

She frowns at you. "My head hurts."

So... she's hungover. Or something. How much did she drink, anyway? "I hope it gets better. Being in pain like that sucks."

"Yeah, I don't like it. it's... hurty. And painy."

"Try to think of something nice, maybe?" You have no idea if that strategy works.

"Like... the feeling of raindrops on my head, or a warm hand on my shaft?"

Whoooah wait that sounded wrong. You think she's talking about umbrella stuff, but still. It sounded like something totally different. At least it wasn't something you said this time. "Er, yes, stuff like that." No, wait, you can't help but wonder... "Why your... shaft, though?"

"Well, the handle is good too, but just above there is pretty tickly. It feels good."

Right. You sure hope that your umbrella back home is not a male umbrella, or you'll have to add 'jacked someone else off' to the list of things you never thought you'd do in your life, but did anyway. "Well, I hope you get better soon. And, now, if you'll excuse me, I'm pretty hungry."

"Okay. Have a good meal."

You wave her off, and then go into the dining room.

Looks like most everyone is done. Shou has left some food out for you, happily.
The only people in the room are, in fact, Shou and... that bastard. And he looks pretty cocky, if a bit hung over.

Oh, god, you wish you could just skip this meal.

---

Well, that was a good meal. Very welcome. The company, on the other hand... if only Shou wasn't too busy to talk. Then she could have spared you from being in his presence, at least a little.
So, what next? You've talked to Kogasa some, and while it wasn't much, there are a lot of other people you need to talk to.

How about the most pressing. That centuries-old shapeshifting monster of legend, Nue.
...you wish you had thought of that concise phrasing when describing her to Yukari. Fumbling for words like you did made you look kind of stupid.
Okay, so if she was at breakfast you didn't catch her leaving the room. Probably should have asked Shou... oh well.
You go check out her room, anyway.

Let's see, it's... this door, right?

Yes, she's inside. Asleep, too. Well, she did basically pass out yesterday.
But to sleep this long? That couldn't just be alcohol, could it?

Well, you wouldn't want to wake her, so you step out-

"Huh?" Nue gets out of the bed, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh, you're awake?"

"Yeah..." She gets up, a little woozily.

"So, uh, didn't go as you had planned?"

"I think I should do a test run or two before I try out changing my internal physiology, next time."

"Words for the ages."

She glares at you. "It's not funny. If I wasn't a youkai that probably would have killed me."

"Oh, sorry." You try to sound as sincere as possible. And as sorry as possible, but you're a pretty sorry guy so that's not hard.

"You're forgiven." She sighs. "I should probably go eat. I think I lost some biomass. I feel lighter, anyway."

You'd rather not think how she did. Vomiting seems like the most merciful side-effect of poorly-thought-out shapeshifting tricks. "Okay. Shou is still in the kitchen, I think."

Who next? Murasa, why not. She had to spend the entire day waiting around in the temple, bored. You could at least pay her a visit and ask how it went.

So, back to the baths. And, yes, Murasa is still there, dozing.

Poke. Poke.

Her eyes slowly open. As they do, her body becomes more solid.
"Oh... good morning."

"Morning."

"You're back?"

"Not like the party was going to take multiple days."

"I suppose..."

Time to take the initiative, and aggressively see how she's doing! "So, how did it go on your end?"

"It was boring. But nothing I wasn't used to. The worst part was knowing everyone else was having fun."

"Well, to be fair, the party was also kind of dangerous. Some of the people from my group ended up drugged or... apparently, thrown into space."

"There are no drugs that would work on me, and I don't need to breathe."

"I'm sure that Yukari could find some way to harm you in the name of hilarity if she really wanted."

"I guess."

That ended faster then you thought it would. "Er, anything else you want to talk about?"

"We can talk more later. I assume you have other things to do for now. I'll be here for a long time, so there's no need to hurry. I think I might go bug Shou and tell her exactly what I think about her leftovers." She waves her ladle.

"Okay." Wait. "Try not to hurt her too badly."

"Hah! I could only fight with her on an equal level in a room full of water."

"Well, then try not to be hurt too badly."

"I wasn't going to fight her anyway. Just complain about how she needs to leave better instructions on how to use the microwave."

"Oh. You could have just asked me."

"You weren't there."

"Oh, whatever. You go complain. I've got super-important random conversations to hold."

She walks off in the direction of the dining hall. A very straight line. Through a wall, even.
It must be nice to be a ghost. Besides the 'being dead' part.
You briefly wonder if you might eventually learn to use your travel powers to walk through walls.

So, one last person. Camilla. She was the only non-asshole in your team watching the fights, presumably, so she would probably be pretty concerned about your health.
So where is she? If she was at breakfast she could be anywhere. Otherwise... at her room, probably. It's not like she can go home without your help.
Well, unless she got Yukari to send her to Makai. If Shinki was sent back after the party, Camilla might have asked to go with her.
But that's a lot of ifs. Time to go randomly wander around until you find her or get bored.

---

Didn't find her. That's a shame. Eventually you got tired of that and asked Shou.
Apparently as her end of the agreement, Shinki was allowed to stay in Gensokyo for the day, and Camilla decided to go with Shinki as she toured around a bit.
So she didn't even bother waiting by your bed, holding a little candlelight vigil for you to regenerate? What a jerk. She did leave you a note, though, which Shou forgot to give you until you asked.

For some reason it's written in Italian. You only know a little Italian, so all you can figure out is that it's some type of get-well note.
Why the hell is this not written in Japanese? She has been speaking Japanese this entire time. Is she a language student or something? Well, Makai is kind of a weird cultural mix. Shinki and her daughter Alice, huh. What about Shinki's half-brother Aleksei and her drunken uncle Gallagher? You wouldn't be too surprised. Er, except for the fact that any hypothetical uncle and half-brother would be male, and your experience thus far in Gensokyo has taught you that men are a minority here among people who matter.
...she sure has cute handwriting though.

Ah well. No use crying over it. You can just dramatically reveal yourself to her when she comes back, or if she goes back with Shinki you can dramatically reveal yourself the next time you go to Makai. She will be utterly shocked, no doubt, even though according to Shou it was pronounced that you would regenerate without complications by Eirin, after some quick on-site medical work.
Now for the most important action thus far.

---

You stare at the thing. It is big and cutely made. You want to hug it just by looking at it. There's a ribbon on it's neck.
You can feel your man-grit drain away every moment you have this teddy bear in your posession. It must go.

Okay, who would appreciate a gift like this?
Hmmmmm...

---

"Hey, Nue, want a friggin huge-ass teddy bear?"

Nue looks up from her plate. "That thing?"

You hold the teddy bear, and shift it so that its face is level with Nue's. You grab one of its paws and shake it a bit. "Nue! I want to be your friend!"

"I am a mighty youkai. I have no need for a teddy bear like that. It would hurt my image."

"Disguise me, then!" You make the teddy bear salute. "You can do it! I believe in you, Nue, so believe in me who believes in you!"

She smiles. "While you do make a good argument, I think Kogasa would appreciate a gift like this more then I would."

"I'll go talk to her then!" You walk off, making the teddy bear wave.

---

You find Kogasa in her room.
"Hi, Kogasa."

"Oh, hello!"

"Want a teddy bear?" You hold the teddy bear forward. Not that she couldn't see it before, since it's not an item you can really conceal, but...
You have the teddy bear wave hello. "See, teddy bears are made of cloth. Or felt. Or something. So they don't deal with water well. So if this little guy," only little compared to a person, really, "is going to go up in the world, he'll need something to prevent the rain from falling on him... understand?"

"He needs an umbrella!" Kogasa smiles proudly, perhaps at getting your very unsubtle hints.

"Right. So, Kogasa, are you umbrella enough to save this teddy bear? From the rain?"

She gently pulls the teddy bear out of your arms. "Definitely!"

Oh, that smile. It's so cute. You feel contentment wash over you. After that tiring party, all the fighting and the focusing, after all of the chaos of the previous week... you are tired. You are ready to relax some, take it easy.

(Pick one.)
[ ] You deserve a rest... (Timeskip.)
[ ] ...but before that, you have something to do. (Pick one.)
-[ ] You should try to convince Sanae to back off. Maybe you could do what Nue and Kogasa couldn't?
-[ ] You should try to get that bastard to leave, so you can get some peace of mind.
-[ ] You should try to figure out where Camilla is now.
-[ ] You should make a little trip, to make sure that everyone is cool with you in... (Pick one.)
--[ ] ...hell.
--[ ] ...the Scarlet Devil Mansion.
--[ ] ...Hakurei Shrine.
--[ ] Write-in.
-[ ] You should check on Victoria. (How do you propose to escape the Earth's orbit dumbass.)
-[ ] Write-in.

---

Yes, you own one interview to Aya. Don't worry about voting for it, it'll happen during the timeskip.

-[X] You should check on Victoria. (How do you propose to escape the Earth's orbit dumbass.)

Look at moon. Imagine being on moon. Step onto moon. Hilarity Ensues.

[x] You deserve a rest... (Timeskip.)

I want to start training ourselves and build the energy efficiency to go all out with out spellcards, but it would be best to get some rest.

>-[X] You should check on Victoria. (How do you propose to escape the Earth's orbit dumbass.)

>Look at moon. Imagine being on moon. Step onto moon. Hilarity Ensues.

I am so down with this, it's not even funny. *this is my vote*

[ ] You deserve a rest... (Timeskip.)

>"The first human man to genuinely be nice to her? Oh, probably."
>The first human man
>human man
>human

[x] >>27217
That's actually pretty clever. But I'm not sure if it ends well.

[x] You deserve a rest... (Timeskip.)

[X] ...but before that, you have something to do.
-[X] You should try to convince Sanae to back off. Maybe you could do what Nue and Kogasa couldn't?

A meeting of two nerds, what could possibly go wrong?

>>27216
True, but what's better than Vanilla or chcoclate? Both!

[X] ...but before that, you have something to do.
-[X] You should try to convince Sanae to back off. Maybe you could do what Nue and Kogasa couldn't?

Interesting advice Yukari gave, though for Kogasa the going would be much simpler: Just be nice and supportive. That's the feeling of what Yukari might have said if we picked Kogasa. To be honest I was a bit worried about this being a route lock choice.

I think we should keep the bastard around; just for youkai fodder.

I think we should either try to check with Camilla when we can or see someone who speaks Italian; I suspect it's language hijinks.

>>27218
I think we'll do that anyways; it's just seeing if we'll do something before then.

[X] >>27217

He's the Youkai of Travel, going to the moon should be child's play to him.

[魚]>>27217

[x] Look at moon. Imagine being on moon. Step onto moon.

Make sure to pick up a souvenir.

[x] Look at moon. Imagine being on moon. Step onto moon.
SSiB cameos? So crazy it has to work.

[x] ...but before that, you have something to do.
-[x] You should try to convince Sanae to back off. Maybe you could do what Nue and Kogasa couldn't?

I don't think the space option is a serious one guys...

>>27234
Plenty of awesome things have come about because anon chose the crossed out choice/joke choice.

>>27235
so have plenty of bad things, and this idea looks as bright as going over to Yuuka's flower yard... which resulted in Kogasa getting Yuuka's umbrella through her gut. But hey, it wouldn't be the first time a writer given up a story, frustrated with anon's decision making skills or lack of such skills.

Fear of doing new things because they might turn out wrong only leads to stagnation and apathy. And those two things are far, far worse than any dangerous swerve our choices may suddenly take.

>>27237
Calm down. If the choice is too stupid, I'm sure the writer will tell us to fuck off.

[x] >>27217
Let's make physics our bitch.


>>27237
Yes, argue the one bad thing that happened in this story and completely ignore that everything else has been silly fun fueled by silly decisions, with a light sprinkling of plot, possibly also silly. This will be effective.

>>27239
There's the factor of people are just doing it because it's there. More times than not, taking such choices result in writers being caught off guard due to the fact they never intended anyone to vote for such choices. This writer in question generally marks off such choices as to show they might have been available if not for certain things.

>>27241
He's most likely not on the computer at the moment.

Oh well let's enjoy lunarian prison!

>>27253
Actually, I'm perfectly cool with people picking crossed-out choices. When I put one in, it's generally because I know I would be able to handle what would happen when people vote for it, just I think that it would be an objectively bad idea, even from the main character's perspective.
As a random example, you could have easily voted to make Victoria your representitive for the Who Wants to be an Archduke of Hell game, just that would have been a stupid idea because she's not here. You would have ended up with no group representitive, probably, and just watched the game.
Admittedly, I did not expect people to try to get to Victoria by teleporting to the moon.

---

[x] Look at moon. Imagine being on moon. Step onto moon.

No rest. You know what you must do.
You leap to your feet. "Be back later, Kogasa, I'm going to the moon!"

"Huh?" But you're already off like a rocket (appropriately enough.)

---

You are standing on the roof of the temple. You should probably be able to teleport to the moon, right? You've teleported what must be nearly a hundred feet before. A hundred feet... the distance between the Earth and the Moon... it's all the same, right?
Once you get to the moon, you will be in a better position to locate Victoria. Sure, you don't know where she is in orbit, but the moon has such low gravity you could just jump off it towards her, right? So all you need to do is locate a human-sized object in an unknown position in Earth's orbit, moving at an unknown velocity. Should be easy. You can worry about the fact that there's no air in space later. Cross that bridge once you get to it.
So, you need to find the moon. In your (thus-far limited) experience, teleportation requires being able to see the destination.
Okay, moon. Moon. Where's the moon?

...

It's daytime. It might be on the other side of the planet. And if it's not, you can hardly see it right now regardless.
Okay, maybe you could just imagine the moon and teleport to it. You've seen the moon plenty of times before, right?

Moon... moon. It's made of cheese. Nah, it's made of rock. Well actually for all you know it is made of cheese, due to the power of belief or whatever.
So... a big flying piece of rock and/or cheese. Which is currently located somewhere.
With an image of what may or may not be the moon firmly in your mind, you imagine yourself being there. Maybe you... maybe you would have a packet of crackers. Yes, and a cloth spread on the ground. You are there because you are out of cheese, obviously.
Such a vivid image. You can almost feel yourself being on the moon.
You open your eyes.

...nothing. Well, maybe you should try again?

---

Okay, screw that. You must have spent at least half an hour trying to teleport yourself to the moon. You aren't sure why it's not working. Maybe it's the large distance involved, or the uncertainty on your part as to where the moon is?
Maybe you could use Peerless Nomad?
But no, you instinctively know that spell is optimized for in-battle teleportation: rapid, efficient, short-range jumps. Even if you teleported as fast as you could, it wouldn't last long enough to get you to the moon.

So, uh, what now?

"Hey, what are you doing up there?"

Oh, it's Nue. "I'm trying to go to the moon!"

"Why?"

"I kind of forgot. I'm sure I had a good reason for it half an hour ago."

Nue hops up onto the roof, and stretches her wings. "So, are you trying to teleport yourself up there?"

"Yeah. But it's not working. In fact, I've never been able to get teleportation working without the use of spellcards. I think I was beginning to figure out how to really use my powers during that party, but maybe I was overestimating my rate of growth."

"Well, teleportation is pretty complex, I hear." She gives you a quizzical look. "Maybe you should try to do short unassisted teleportations first? Learn to walk before you run?"

"What's the fun in that? If my thing is travel, then I won't be impressing anyone with an ability to cut in lines and quickly retrieve the television remote."

"It's normal to not be in total mastery of your powers right away. Probably doubly so for you since you aren't a natural-born youkai. It took me many hundreds of years to become this good at shape-shifting, and, well," she laughs nervously, "as you can see I still have some things to learn."

"So you think I have the potential, just I need to learn how to use it?"

"Yeah. I can tell you'll go far, it's just that you are getting ahead of yourself." She pats you on the back. You are feeling a little better, yes. And if she can make a speech like that, she's probably feeling better too.

"I guess I'll try practicing shorter teleports, then..."

"Right, right. I'll leave now so that you aren't distracted. Youkai powers like this are highly personal, so the basics are better learned by introspection then by coaching. I'll go keep Kogasa company." She pauses and turns around, midway out. "I think she likes that teddy bear, by the way. She was playing with it last time I checked in with her."

"Glad to hear that." She leaves.

Now time for the hard part- calming your mind down enough to at least pretend you are meditating.

---

It takes hours and hours, but you finally begin to get the hang of teleporting unassisted. You can only really do short hops, but it's definitely a start.
Nobody shows up to bug you during that period, even though you are on the frikkin roof. You have to assume Nue told them all to leave you alone while you worked.
It's not actually all that bad, overall. It's a very nice day, and the world is quiet and calm. You know that there's probably services or something going on in the temple, but the place is quite well made. Only the faintest of sounds escape it.

You lower yourself down from the roof, feeling true mental exhaustion and serious hunger. You can't wait to get inside and eat and relax.
You think you are going to take it easier for a while, yes. Have some relatively quiet days, and just live your life. Not having to put up with college coursework and going to classes will be nice too, of course.
Of course, you aren't exactly the most patient of people, so you will have to do some things to keep yourself busy. Maybe you should... (Pick one.)
[ ] ...meditate, train, try to further master your powers. That session today was pretty productive, right?
[ ] ...spread your name, improve your reputation. In ways that Byakuren will approve of, of course.
[ ] ...do some real work. You have a marketable skill. You could use it to deliver messages and packages, retrieve exotic items, stuff like that.
[ ] ...help around in the Temple. You don't know much about housework or cooking, but surely there's something you could do?
[ ] Write-in.

---

Yukarin here~
Hello again!

It seems that all of the hubbub caused by the main character has caught some attention. Not just inside Gensokyo, but also from groups of youkai from the outside world. They had probably forgotten about Gensokyo, but this has brought it back to the youkai public eye, it seems.
Several groups have petitioned me for entry. Can you believe it?
Of course, bringing them all in would take far too much work. It'd be more fun if I only let one group in too, since then everyone else will be so jealous.

(Pick one.)
[ ] Mackenzie Carat's All-Youkai Circus
[ ] Daedalus Construction, Ltd.
[ ] First Church of Jesus Christ, Oni
[ ] Screw outsiders. There are enough nutcases in Gensokyo as-is.
[ ] Write-in.

I'm not sure which to pick, and that's why I am asking you. It's been months since the party, so it's probably not too soon for a circus. Of course, I am sure there are some people who think that it's never too soon for the circus. They sound quite shady, though. Ran did some background checking for me, and apparently one of their members used to be a professional assassin.
That construction company, on the other hand, is much more understandable. They are very desparate for work, I understand, and I am sure that Kanako will love having some experienced youkai visit to help modernize Gensokyo. I'm not sure how much demand there is for new buildings, though. And, by the way, I had Ran check, and no, it does not involve the actual Daedalus.
The religious group I hardly need to talk about. I am sure you all can figure out why they would want to visit.

I'm counting on you, anonymous! Specifically, I am counting on you to make a decision that will be very amusing. Don't let me down.
Yukarin out!

---

Coincidentally, those votes that Yukari so kindly provided are in descending order, from what I am most confidant I can write to what I am least confidant I can write. The "don't let anyone in" is next to the bottom because I haven't thought up any ideas for it yet. And the write in is at the very bottom because you guys are all insane and I am even more insane for giving you that option.

[X] ...do some real work. You have a marketable skill. You could use it to deliver messages and packages, retrieve exotic items, stuff like that.
It's between this and helping out at the temple for me, but we should be able to get a little publicity this way.

[X] First Church of Jesus Christ, Oni
Holy fuck yes.

[X] ...do some real work. You have a marketable skill. You could use it to deliver messages and packages, retrieve exotic items, stuff like that.

Make money while improving your skill? Sign me up.

>[ ] Daedalus Construction, Ltd.
I bet they would be making skyscrapers, which are real eyesores and would clash with Gensokyo's fedual Japan feel.

>[ ] First Church of Jesus Christ, Oni
While the name is hilarious, Gensokyo is barely able to support the current three religious institutions.

[X] Mackenzie Carat's All-Youkai Circus
Who can say no to a circus?

[x] Mackenzie Carat's All-Youkai Circus

This should be interesting.

[x] ...do some real work. You have a marketable skill. You could use it to deliver messages and packages, retrieve exotic items, stuff like that.
-[x] Especially for the Temple itself
-[x] Make a point to not charge them so much while mentioning your connection to the temple.

I think this way we can help the temple, improve both the repuation of both us and temple, and collect a modest fee at the same time.

[x] Make a note to figure out a way to get Sanae to back off from Kogasa and Nue.

>>27264
My apologies but all in all the results were only mildly productive at best. Still it's funny how anon passed up a chance to help Nue and Kogasa to see if they could actually do something.

[x] Daedalus Construction, Ltd.

What with the whole nuclear fusion thing, progress has to come sooner or later. Better that it be sooner. Besides, you heard the woman, they need the money in these critical economic times.

[X] ...do some real work. You have a marketable skill. You could use it to deliver messages and packages, retrieve exotic items, stuff like that.

[X] Mackenzie Carat's All-Youkai Circus

So going to the moon didn't work out, it was still worth a shot.

>>27269
Said nuclear power is only restricted to the Kappa.

[X] Screw outsiders. There are enough nutcases in Gensokyo as-is.

Some more-so than others, such as Yukari and Sanae. Especially Yukari.

[x] ...meditate, train, try to further master your powers. That session today was pretty productive, right?
We'll do what Tewi couldn't: jump (teleport) to the moon!
[X] blah blah blah Oni.
Fuck yes.

[X] Spend your time hanging out with Nue, and learning more about her.

Wooing games.

[x] Mackenzie Carat's All-Youkai Circus.

Fuck yes, the circus is coming to town! Perfect for the inevitable forced date with Sanae that will occur.

I don't know why I see it as so likely. It just seems like our brand of crazy would mesh with hers pretty well.

[x] ...do some real work. You have a marketable skill. You could use it to deliver messages and packages, retrieve exotic items, stuff like that.
>[x] First Church of Jesus Christ, Oni
So very, very tempting, but...

[x] Mackenzie Carat's All-Youkai Circus.
...sounds like it would be better in execution, especially if the author already has ideas for it.

>>27280
I hope perhaps we get a chance to do some talking and such as opposed to just working.

[x] Spend your time hanging out with Nue, and learning more about her.
[x] Mackenzie Carat's All-Youkai Circus.

I'll go with this instead.

Yukarin here!

[x] Mackenzie Carat's All-Youkai Circus
So, you want a circus, is that it? I hear they have an army of clowns, and that their animal trainer has fighting elephants. Which are like normal elephants but good fighters. And they don't cry.
It sounds like an incredibly dangerous group of 'performers', over all.
Good choice!

Yukarin out~

---

[x] ...do some real work. You have a marketable skill. You could use it to deliver messages and packages, retrieve exotic items, stuff like that.

The next few days pass by fairly uneventfully. You end up with enough to do that you don't have time to do any real work.
You see Camilla off as she returns to Makai. Unfortunately, you forget to ask her about that note, and why it was written in Italian. Well, it's not like it was a pressing issue, and she's a good kid. You really doubt she would do something like pack the note with insults or anything.
Aya corners you down and makes you conduct that interview. In all honesty you had forgotten about that too, and weren't that happy to actually do it. But the interview was not too bad in hindsight. It is mostly about what you were thinking when you entered Gensokyo, what has happened to you since then, and so on. You, of course, lie profusely to make yourself look better.
The day afterward you get the article, and Aya managed to turn what you said into some pretty fantastical headlines by using careful out-of-context quoting. Good thing nobody reads her newspaper.
Victoria does in fact crash meteorically into Hakurei Shrine, so you hear. You take Yukari's advice and stay the hell away from the Shrine, so as to avoid getting hurt by the impact or blamed for it. She is brought to Eientei by someone, and recovers with surprising ease for someone who just dropped from orbit.
Soon enough, you end up doing your most impressive act of traveling yet: you pull Raquel through the Great Border, so that she can present her findings to the outside world. Or at least the youkai parts of the outside world. You get the urge to see how things have changed in the outside world, or at least contact home, but then you realize that Gensokyo has come to feel more like home then home ever did. Besides, even if you did phone home, what would you tell your parents?
It is quite truly exhausting to carry someone so powerful over a barrier so strong, and you are bedridden for over a day. You do get to have Kogasa and Byakuren look after you during that period, though, so it's not at all bad.

But after those distractions, you have time to work. It starts out quite slowly. You deliver a few letters to and from Makai, find trusting people in outlying villages who are tired of normal messengers 'disappearing' to feral youkai attacks mid-route, and so on.
You make sure to stress your connection with the Temple. It soon becomes clear that doing so is a good idea, because the Temple's good reputation makes you seem more trustworthy. Of course, doing so makes Byakuren happy also, and she's providing food and housing so it's only fair.
After about a month of sporadic letter delivery forays, business finally begins to pick up. You get the idea to check the underground also, and find a surprising amount of customers. Satori sometimes corresponds with the Kappa, and Koishi sends some truly disturbing letters to Flandre (but pays well, so soon enough you learn to ignore your curiosity and stop reading her letters.)
Soon enough, as you begin to accumulate money, you hatch a plan.
After about two months of traveling, when you have become a known, if not fully trusted, face in the simplistic economy of Gensokyo, you put it into motion. You visit Makai, and go to Shinki and persuade her to have the stores in Pandaeomonium extend you credit. Then you go to Camilla and spend an afternoon with her sampling the cuisine and local products of Makai. You note the things that seem the most unique and interesting and get Camilla to buy some for you, promising to pay her back later.
You then return to Gensokyo with those things; food unique to Makai, mostly, though also other items such as perfumes and cloths. Then you give them away in the Human Village, and see which items go over best.
After getting that data, you begin a small business of transporting fresh meat to Makai and various unique Makaian goods to Gensokyo. Makai, a land in which there is a severe, constant dearth of new life, has a great demand for meat. So by exploiting the fact that you are one of two people able to move between Gensokyo and Makai, you are able to make a tidy profit. Of course, you are hindered by the fact that you can't carry more goods at a time then what you can carry on your person.
But still, between that and the general letters, you are able to make a comfortable amount of money. In fact, even after paying off all your credit to the Makaian shopkeepers, paying Shou some rent (even though she never asked for it), and buying treats for yourself and others, you are still better off then the average human in Gensokyo economically. And you are definitely better off then Reimu, a fact which leads you to avoid her like the plague.

Of course, you can't bring yourself to work too much. You were never a particularly patient or hardworking person. You spend plenty of time socializing, or simply enjoying yourself.
Mostly with Kogasa and Nue, of course. From day one Nue was your main friend in Gensokyo, and Kogasa has been a big actor in your stay here also.
Kogasa ends up making a little (-ish) umbrella for the teddy bear. You aren't sure where she got the materials, but who cares it's goddamn adorable. The umbrella is, of course, purple.
Nue disappears a lot, and consistently fails to tell you why. You begin to get the feeling that it's less because she is doing things she doesn't want you to know about, and more because she is most comfortable when being secretive. A few times she does bring back food, though, and it's always fun trying to figure out where in the world she gets some of that stuff. She, of course, is happy to never ruin the guessing game by actually saying.
You don't see much of Victoria, but you hear quite a lot. It seems that she keeps trying to get at Reimu and keeps failing, and eventually devolves into being yet another one of Reimu's annoying hanger-ons. Albeit an unusually intense one. Thinking about it, you have no idea where Victoria sleeps or anything. Every time you see her she seems so clean, so if she sleeps in the wilderness she must be very good at cleaning herself.
You see Camilla a fair bit, on the other hand. Every time you visit Makai you try to at least stop by. She seems to be living a fairly ordinary life, or at least what logically seems to be an ordinary life for a demon. Occasionally she has a letter for you to deliver, but since she didn't form any really strong bonds with anyone in Gensokyo it's not often.
Tacita, on the other hand, you see quite a lot. Every week she trains under Byakuren at the temple, and after about three months she has apparently become better at using her silence powers then she ever was in her life. Also, she did in fact get that danmaku-powered grill she asked for, and she invited you to a cookout once to show you it in action. It is indeed quite awesome, managing to cook things as well as an ordinary outdoorsman grill while being approximately the size and shape of a large plate. It can even fold for easy transport! You aren't sure if it was made by Ran or Yukari or what, but whoever it was should make some more and sell one to you.
The other people in the temple more or less go on with their lives. Shou is nice, but also very busy and predictable, so you get along with her only decently for the same reason that you get along so well with Nue.
Byakuren helps you out a little with figuring out your powers, and is of couse invariably nice to you. However, you've never been all that comfortable around her. You came to Gensokyo for excitement, not to be coddled by nice ladies. Even if they are very nice, and it is quite welcome occasionally.
Murasa you see a great deal of, even though she gets tired of constantly waiting outside of the bath after several weeks and starts to only maintain it (rather then guard it for some reason.) At one point she asks you to take her ship-in-a-bottle for a ride again, and you happily oblige. You think that she does this more often then you know, and just rotates who she asks every time. Smart plan, you guess.
Ichirin and Unzan continue to be... more or less nonentities. Poor fluffies, spending all of their time playing card games and guarding a building that is never attacked.
Nazrin you see very little of. When you do see her, she tends to ignore you. You do get a very vague idea of what she is doing, though. The days she comes back to the Temple in dirty clothes are presumably days she spends searching or mining or mud-wrestling catgirls or something. There was that one day she came back covered in cream cheese, though. You can't even guess what happened to cause that.
Since she now knows where Nue and Kogasa are, Sanae visits several times over the months. Each time, Kogasa hides (sometimes with your help), and Nue is forced to put up with Sanae's excited banter for a few hours. At one point Sanae even suggested a sleepover and wouldn't take no for an answer. You aren't sure what happened, since it was going on in Nue's room, but Nue refuses to talk about it. You get the feeling that that bit of secrecy is for an actual reason.
And finally, that bastard mercifully does not make that much of an impact on the Temple. He spends most days out for hours at a time, apparently 'partying' and trying to pick up chicks. He does sometimes help out, though, and seems especially eager to be tasked with picking up groceries for the Temple. One day you follow him to figure out why, and you must say it reminds you that he isn't just some fuck-up. All he has to do if he wants something from a normal person is ask, and that person will just hand the thing over without complaint. Every time he picks up groceries he doesn't need to pay a yen, and just pockets the money.
After that you mention the issue to Shou, who stops giving him groceries duty but otherwise does not punish him at all. It's kind of odd. She seemed quite mad about it, but kept forgetting to do anything to punish him, until she forgot about the incident entirely.

Overall, you make a tidy amount of money and successfully wittled away several months in an enjoyable, if not particularly exciting, fashion. You didn't make much progress towards mastering your abilities, though. The process of delivering letters does not leave you much time to meditate or practice, and it only really uses your border-penetration ability (and only when delivering to and from Makai.) You get a bit better at teleportation through Byakuren's guidance and a bit of self-experimentation, but it's not much. You can teleport unaided about as far as you can normally with Peerless Nomad now, albeit not nearly as quickly.


---

You leisurely walk down towards the Temple. You looked over your normal places, but there weren't any jobs. It shouldn't be too much of a surprise. There is a circus visiting Gensokyo, and apparently it opens later today. You haven't been paying as much attention as you should, but you gather that there are a lot of people attending.
This isn't like Yukari's party, where only some people were invited. You gather that there are all sorts of people, from nobodies in the human village to prominent youkai, who want to go. It's a novelty, at least.
You have been considering going, yourself. Going with Nue and Kogasa, of course.

And here's the Temple. It's a peaceful day, so...
Wait, why does Ichirin look so harried?

"Did you see anyone pass that way?"

"Huh? No, the path was clear."

She swears under her breath. She turns to Unzan. "Unzan, get an aerial view. I'll start rounding up people to search..."

"What's going on?"

She turns back to you. "The Temple was just robbed. Someone took a certain item of Byakuren's. Something her late brother left behind, which she had been keeping as a memento."

"Just now?"

"Yeah. Byakuren told me she saw a figure, probably female, in a cloak and hood run off."

"What kind of robber robs a place like this in the middle of the day?"

"Look, I don't know, and I don't have time to dally."

"Okay, okay. I'll go search around some, how about. You can get Shou and Nazrin, I'll go do this with Nue and Kogasa."

She nods, and you hurry into the Temple.

---

"Hey, Nue, you busy?"

Nue looks up from her tea. "Is it about that silly robbery?"

"Yeah. Want to go search for the culprit?"

Kogasa walks into the room, with a tray of cookies. She puts it down on Nue's table.

Nue shrugs. "Eh. Nazrin will probably just find the thief soon enough."

"Oh, come on, show some spirit." You turn to Kogasa. "Do you want to go chase a thief?"

"Huh?"

You gesticulate wildly. "Come on, it'll be fun. Hell, I bet it was those circus people who did it. They seem kind of suspect." And even if it isn't, you can use it as an excuse to go to the circus.

Kogasa's eyes light up. "Ooh, I want to go to the circus!"

Nue sighs. "I suppose that doesn't sound too bad."

"So, yeah, let's go! We can go track down some bad-guy youkai, kick ass, and then once we have won Byakuren's gratitude we can go to the circus!"

"Yay, the circus!" Kogasa hops up and down, waving her umbrella.

"Wait just a minute, here." Nue stands up, dusting herself off. "This is beginning to sound like an incident resolution thing. And for that, you can only bring one person."

"...really?"

"Yeah. It's always individual people, or teams of two. Don't ask me why, I don't know."

"Pick me! Pick me! I want to go to the circus! I hear they have these big tents!"

Nue shrugs. "Even if you don't pick me I'll probably follow you, see what happens."

You still aren't sure why you have to only pick one of them, and Nue doesn't seem to be either, but if you really have to go with just one...
[ ] You'll pick Nue.
[ ] You'll go with Kogasa.
[ ] You will do this alone.

---

Your partner won't have any huge impact on the "difficulty", so to speak, so don't feel obliged to pick Nue just because she's stronger.

Kind of glad that the Church didn't win. It was a fun idea, but I am honestly unsure of my ability to do it justice.
Also, I bet that timeskip has tense issues. Pretty tired now, though.

[X] You'll go with Kogasa.

She's so excited, only a heartless bastard would deny her.

[X] You'll go with Kogasa.

She really wants to go and Nue will be going along her own way, just that she won't be actively helping in this case.

>>27288
But will we get a chance to look into the note, the Sanae matter, and/or convincing the bastard to leave later on?

As far the note goes, I think Patchouli might know Italian.

[x] You'll pick Nue.

You bastard! Why must you make me choose!?

>Koishi sends some truly disturbing letters to Flandre
Most adorable BDSM couple ever.

[X] You'll pick Nue.
[X] You'll go with Kogasa.
[X] You'll pick Nue.
[X] You'll go with Kogasa.

[X] You'll pick Nue.

Not an easy choice, but I think Nue'll be more fun to be with during the actual incident resolution. We can spend some time at the circus with Kogasa after that's over with.

>Choose between Nue and Kogasa

Oh god this is hard.

[X] You'll pick Nue.

[x] You'll pick Nue.
[x] Promise Kogasa that you'll take her the next time theres an incident.
-[x] Which, distubingly (and conveniently), happens every few months.

You won't have to wait long Kogasa.

Ever heard of PCB?

[x] You will pick both
I wonder how well we will do without that training?

[X] You'll pick Nue.

[X] You'll go with Kogasa.

[X] You'll go with Kogasa.

Nue did say she would follow even if we didn't pick her, so the obvious choice has already been made.

[x] You'll go with Kogasa.

[x] You'll go with Kogasa.

[X] You'll go with Nue.

[x] Go with Nue

sksdfjks well Kogasa will hopefully tag along anyway, just like Nue would.

[x] You'll pick Nue.

To those that are taking her with just due to she's stronger:
>>27288
>Your partner won't have any huge impact on the "difficulty", so to speak, so don't feel obliged to pick Nue just because she's stronger.

My reason: It'd be more fun with Kogasa than with Nue (Nue comes across as jaded to these sort of things) That and we do owe her an outing that won't end with her getting impaled as opposed to Nue who had a full fun outing that ended with her hole-free.

>>27295
Most likely because he wanted Anon going at each other's throats. One or the other choices are always very polarizing. That and "Lol VN"

>>27303
I get a bad feeling that people would just pick Nue again.

>>27314
I kinda doubt it; she'd be too busy crying. But seriously, She'd be one to stay at the temple if we refused for whatever reason.

Shit this option was winning when I began to write. And I don't love you enough to rewrite it.
Sorry about that.

---

[x] You'll go with Kogasa.

"Yes, Kogasa, you can come."

"Yay circus!"

"We're here for the incident, remember. If it is an incident." You wink. "The circus is just a bonus."

"Yay incident!"

"Good enough." Why is she so enthusiastic about this? She's never mentioned circuses (circi) before? "So, Nue, you said you would follow me?"

"Yeah. I figure it might be fun to watch from a distance, too. If this goes anything like the last incidents you'll run into and fight a number of colorful characters. Plus then I'll have more time to go look around the circus, too."

"So, what, are you going to just hang around and claim you aren't with me?"

"No need. I'll go," she taps her nose, "undercover."

"Uh huh."

---

You step foot outside the Temple, Kogasa on your heels.

"I heard that circus tents have these big poles in the center holding them up!"

"Er, yes, I think so." You aren't sure why that's all that important though. You take to the air and Kogasa follows suit.

"So they're like biiiig umbrellas!"

Oh. "I guess, yes."

"And I hear they have people whose job is to surprise people!"

"Really?" That sounds more like something a haunted house or something would have.

"Yeah! They dress up in scary makeup and hide in little cars and leap out!"

Wait, clowns? "Well, I guess they scare some people. Not sure about surprise."

"And I hear they have lots of animals and people who ride the animals. That's pretty cool also, I guess."

"It is pretty cool. Unless it's a really lame circus it'll have animals that have never been seen before in Gensokyo. Elephants, mainly."

"What are elephants?"

Maybe you should try to pitch this to her. "Elephants are these big grey animals with long, flexible trunks, which they can drink with. They like to suck up water and spray it on other people, I hear."

"So they make rain?"

"Yes."

"That sounds like fun!" As long as you're happy, Kogasa...

Wait. You sense something off. You're being followed. You didn't see Nue leave the temple, but she did say she was going undercover.
You turn around. About five feet behind you is a floating ball of light.

Really now. Is this Nue's idea of 'going undercover'? "Nue, you need to work on your subtlety."

"Ha ha ha." Nue's voice is kind of garbled. "You'd be surprised how stealthy I can be like this."

"Well, if you say so." You turn back to Kogasa. "Come on, let's go. The circus is that way, right?"

She nods excitedly.

---

A minute or two later, you begin to see the fairies. They are all flying in your direction, quite hurriedly. They fire at you, oddly enough.

You dodge through the bullets pretty easy, though. These are small-fry fairies.

"Kogasa, you okay?"

"Yep!"

"I wonder why these fairies were attacking me..."

Nue's voice drifts up to you. "They looked scared to me."

"I didn't do it!"

"I know, Kogasa." What Nue said makes sense. They did look like they were running from something. "What could be scaring them, though?"

An amulet narrowly misses your head. You swerve to the side, kind of shocked.

"You!" Reimu flies up, fuming. "Was it you again?"

A little oni, Suika if you remember correctly, lazily follows Reimu. She looks kind of bored.

"Was it me what?"

"Don't play innocent!" Reimu waves that stick in your face. "You were the one responsible for vandalizing my donation box last time, and now my new donation box gets stolen! It's got to be you!"

She looks angry. Also, she looks like shit. Her eyes are bloodshot, her movements sluggish. It's like she hasn't slept in days.

"Er, Suika, what's up with this?"

"Eh. Reimu's donation box got stolen a few days ago. And then she made me follow her around while she went up beating up all the usual suspects."

"If I defeat enough youkai, I'll get it back." Reimu is almost wailing by this point.

"I'm telling you, I didn't do it." You glance at Kogasa, who is cowering. "She didn't do it either."

"Then I'll beat you and you'll tell me who did it!" Reimu lifts further up into the air, and begins pulling out paper amulets. She glares at you, tears in her eyes. "Someone had just donated, too! I was about to go take the money out when the box got stolen!" She begins throwing amulets, growing more and more angry by the second. "You'll pay for this!"

(Pick one.)
[ ] Try to calm her down.
-[ ] Maybe you could get Suika to help you reason with her?
[ ] Mention the circus to her. Hopefully if you distract her she'll stop fighting.
[ ] She is so exhausted she can barely throw those amulets straight. You might as well take advantage of this, so you can boast later that you have beaten Reimu.
-[ ] Go full offense, make it a spectacular win!
-[ ] Use the minimum of effort. Conserve your energy.
-[ ] Try your best to beat her in a way that won't hurt. You don't want to make her your enemy.
-[ ] Write-in.
[ ] Write-in.

[x] Mention the circus to her. Hopefully if you distract her she'll stop fighting.

Reimu has never had to deal with a true repeat offender in her career and whenever she assumed it was Remilia or Yukari, it proved to be someone new.

Oh great, cranky shrine maiden.

[X] Try to calm her down.
-[X] "You're not the only one who had something stolen. Someone stole one of Byakuren's mementos and we're out looking for it. I bet the two are related."

[X] Try to calm her down.
-[X] "You're not the only one who had something stolen. Someone stole one of Byakuren's mementos and we're out looking for it. I bet the two are related."
-[X] "I can prove it as well."

[X] Try to calm her down.
-[X] "You're not the only one who had something stolen. Someone stole one of Byakuren's mementos and we're out looking for it. I bet the two are related."

Reimu as a Stage 1 boss? This must be a SWR- or PoFV-style game.

[X] Try to calm her down.
-[X] "You're not the only one who had something stolen. Someone stole one of Byakuren's mementos and we're out looking for it. I bet the two are related."
-[X] Mention the circus to her.

Oh man, Reimu right from the start.

[x] She is so exhausted she can barely throw those amulets straight. You might as well take advantage of this, so you can boast later that you have beaten Reimu.

Goddamn, by your description, Reimu must look awful. Someone should help her, for once.

[x] She is so exhausted she can barely throw those amulets straight. You might as well take advantage of this, so you can boast later that you have

beaten Reimu.
-[x] Try your best to beat her in a way that won't hurt. You don't want to make her your enemy.
-[x] Like putting her to sleep. She looks like shit.
-[x] Throw her into a futon at the Hakurei Shrine, next to a wooden box with a few thousand yen inside.

GOODDEEDS.nue

[X] Try to calm her down.
-[X] "You're not the only one who had something stolen. Someone stole one of Byakuren's mementos and we're out looking for it. I bet the two are related."
-[X] Mention the circus to her.

[x] She is so exhausted she can barely throw those amulets straight. You might as well take advantage of this, so you can boast later that you have beaten Reimu.
-[x] Try your best to beat her in a way that won't hurt. You don't want to make her your enemy.

>>27331
That's a contradiction; beating Reimu now regardless of how we do things will tick her off if we got about bragging about it. She will most certainly have a rematch when she's at her best and Win. She does have a reputation to maintain, and losing to a literal newbie of a Youkai/nerfed Extra stage boss will damage it.

If everyone thought Reimu was that much of a pushover, then things would get really out of hand.

Just saying my opinion on it, perhaps we ought to send the Bastard her way just to see what happens.

So hey, I've been reading this pretty much nonstop for the last two days and just now caught up. Being one of the original /jp/sies, I'm kind of jaded at this point and actually had to have my face shoved into this story to get me to read it. I'd like to thank you for bringing back the feel of the first few weeks. It's been a fucking trip.

[x] She is so exhausted she can barely throw those amulets straight. You might as well take advantage of this, so you can boast later that you have beaten Reimu.
-[x] Try your best to beat her in a way that won't hurt. You don't want to make her your enemy.
-[x] Like putting her to sleep. She looks like shit.
-[x] Throw her into a futon at the Hakurei Shrine, next to a wooden box with a few thousand yen inside.