Do what I usually do, find the drunk chick (this one is obvious) get her to give me booze, get drunk and act greasy. Repeat until woman sleeps with you.
It's worked fine over here, and I belive it would work over there as well.
>>226187 Funny thing you should mention, then. Drinking is the second most popular activity in Gensokyo, after danmaku. At least two people in Gensokyo are professionally sloshed, at that.
You wander through the underbrush of the forest, and evening approaches. You are most assuredly lost, without any hope at all of getting out by now, and you still have not found the puppeteer. You hear giggles and rustling in the bushes as you press forward, and the sun begins to set. The fairies are lurking nearby, waiting for your attention to drop. There is no sign of any habitation otherwise, but you're sure less pleasant youkai will begin to stalk around as soon as those precious rays of light leave.
You arrived at Alice's house the next day, nevermind you had uncompleted work at a teacher's house that had been delayed by the repair job at the shrine. Upon entering Alice's house, you were shocked to see so many dolls, you first thought they were fairies, flying and buzzing around the inside of the house. Alice explained that every doll had a specific job to do, though none had an ability to do carpentry. The dolls movement were also limited to the house only, so none of the dolls would get lost.
You repaired the front door by upgrading the door frame with a stronger frame and finally a heavier door in hopes that Alice's friend, Marisa, would have a harder time damaging the door.
As you finished putting away your tools, Alice surprised you when she kissed you fiercely on the lips, and you eagerly returned the kiss. Love-making occurred immediately, and in the morning you woke up in Alice's bed naked with Alice, also naked, sleeping soundly next to you. Alice's head was resting on your chest.
A few months later as a crying, though very happy Marisa, announced you and Alice as husband and wife, Reimu, with tears streaming down her face, screamed that your were an idiot and stormed out of the chapel in anger. You didn't care what the damn miko said, because you married the greatest woman in all of Gensokyo if not the entire world.
Before marrying Alice, she explained that she was incapable of having children due to her womb having been damaged by disease when she was a little kid. It didn't matter to you if Alice couldn't bare your children, since all you cared about was being with Alice herself. And Alice was all you wanted.
"Hi, Alice," Reimu cheerfully replied, as she waved her hand in greeting.
After the usual greetings were over, Reimu pulled Alice over to you and asked you if you've met Alice before, and you replied that you've never met nor seen Alice before. Reimu replied it's probably because Alice rarely left her home in the Forest of Magic. Alice cheerfully greeted you by extending her hand, and you kissed her hand. Reimu's cheery eyes narrowed in jealously. You've never kissed Reimu's hand when you greeted her.
After explaining the repairs you were working on to Alice, Reimu and Alice went inside the shrine for the rest of the day.
The sun was setting and you finally completed the repair work to the shrine, when Alice appeared next to you as you were putting your tools away.
"Could you come by my house and fix my front door?" Alice asked in a sweet but shy voice. "My friend keeps knocking the door out of its sockets."
Alice blushed deeply, as you quickly and happily blurted out "Sure!"
You no longer cared about the musty smelling miko anymore. You just wanted to be with this woman, this goddess.
Alice displayed a dazzling smile as she handed you a piece of paper containing directions to her house and quickly left leaving behind an intoxicating scent of heaven itself.
Seek out Keine, and pray to one of Gensokyo's many deities that she understands English. Befriend Keine (should she understand English, if not, find someone who does, gonna need someone to teach you Japanese, as they all speak it). Use befriended Keine to befriend Mokou. Use befriended Mokou to obtain Hourai Elixir. Live out the rest of my very long (and probably very painful) life with Touhou of choice.
You arrived in the mythical Gensokyo 3 years ago and have been living in the human village since then. You worked as a carpenter and spent most of the time doing repairs to any structures damaged by youkai (and Marisa) in the countryside.
One day you were rebuilding part of the Hakurei Shrine that simply failed due to old age. The shrine's miko Reimu lavished you with tea and freshly baked biscuits, because she enjoyed the work you were doing for her for free. She watched your sweaty, shirtless, muscled body glisten in the hot sun with her mouth open in lust. When you noticed Reimu staring at you, Reimu quickly averted her eyes and blushed deeply. It was during the moments, when she was looking away from you in embarrassment, you admired the snow white, voluptuous side boobage this miko was known for among the human males back in the human village. Reimu rarely visited the human village, but when she did visit, males all over the village would flock to her in an attempt to see her side boobage but come away disappointed, as Reimu would always wear her sarashi when not at the shrine. It was the sight of such godly side boobage that became your payment, and why you were always willing to do repairs to the shrine when Reimu came calling. Well, you did liked Reimu herself too.
As you were driving nails into a new 2x4, you heard an angelic voice call out Reimu's name causing you to turn in the direction of the voice. What you saw was a woman of such great beauty you instantly considered Reimu's side boobage mediocre. The wind was blowing the woman's dress against the front of her body revealing every curvature of her legs and abdomen which must have been carved by FSM himself. It was as if the very light rays of the sun itself emanated from her head. And her sapphire eyes were bluer than the sky on the clearest day.
What felt to you as a few hours or perhaps several days had passed, you really had no idea in your condition, you suddenly felt perfectly fine. In fact, you felt as if you never had been sick. You opened your eyes and saw the familiar surroundings of Alice's workroom, where she built her dolls.
Why were you inside Alice's workroom? Why did the small room, which only had room for one person due to all the boxes and shelves being full of various doll parts, appear so huge? When did the desk, which you were sitting on, become so large? The answer came when you looked down upon you own body and saw your legs... Legs?! And then the true horror hit you. Those legs had doll joints. Your hands and arms had doll joints. You couldn't believe what you were seeing.
Then a cheery Alice entered the workroom and noticed that you were moving, "Time to finish my new doll."
Alice happily picked you up, and asked herself, "Hmm, what kind of dress should you wear? It must be practical so it doesn't get caught in the saw blades."
You attempted to scream only to realize that Alice's dolls are incapable of talking much less show any emotion.
The decades passed and now you were nearing 70 years old. Alice, being a youkai had remained as youthful looking as the day you met her, and her love for you never wavered, even when you lost both legs to a mysterious accident with a runaway saw blade at the Hakurei Shrine, making you dependent on Alice for mobility.
Despite being healthy, you became bedridden from a mysterious deadly illness shortly after Reimu, now an old, bitter, unmarried hag who still resented you for marrying Alice, visited Alice and you unannounced. Alice retrieved Eirin, the best doctor in Gensokyo, to check you, but even Eirin was puzzled by your sickness and was unable to provide any help.
One sunny day in your sleepy condition, caused by the disease, you were incapable of thinking fast much less at all. You repeatedly dreamed of your favorite breakfast: hot chocolate and waffles cooked by Alice wearing only an apron and nothing else, which always led to an hour of love-making on the dining room table.
You never noticed Alice staring at you from the doorway with a peculiar look on her face.
As soon as you seem to actively search for them, it is like they have disappeared. Except for one... And, you unfortunately recognize this one. I'll give you hint; There's a frozen frog in the little pond next to her that she is watching with a look of childish amusement. What do you do?
>>226275 Well, you'll be able to spend the rest of eternity with the woman you love. Sure, you'll probably be nothing more than a sex toy, but hey, that's cool too.
>>226297 You can possibly get past Meiling by saying you have an appointment with Patchouli, but you'll never get past Sakuya. No chance in hell. So you can camp out in the library until Koakuma or Patchi throw you out.
"Um. Hello." Is the best you can manage to blurt out, before her childishly wide eyes turn to you from the frog in slight surprise, causing the ice surrounding it to crack and shatter, the unfortunate frog very, very dead now.
"Oopsie." She says, looking at the shards. "Now look at what you did, you silly human." She frowns, cutely. However, the sudden coldness of the air as she approaches you is far, far less cute. "I think you should be punished, for being so mean as to make me break my amusement." She reaches out to you, with a such a chilling hand you can FEEL it, and she hasn't even touched you.
[ ] Run Away
[ ] "Sorry! I had to talk to such a pretty fairy! Uh, uh..."
[ ] Scream
[ ] "Get back, cold bitch!" Promptly pick up a convient, hefty nearby branch and hit her with it. She's smaller than you.
>>226328 After a long night in the Human Village, you walk the gate guard back to her gate and begin to leave . You finally realize what's been bothering you, though: you never asked what her name was. Turning around, you return to the mansion to ask before returning home yourself.
Something is amiss. The gate guard is not moving. She doesn't even look up as you approach.
A sharp pain pierces your heart. You look down and see the tip of a silver knife protruding from your chest.
>>226344 Her hand stops right before touching you. You can't help but feel immensely relieved that you avoided popsicle-ization. "Oooh?" She asks, her bright blue eyes looking you levelly, as she hovers just a foot off the ground to meet your gaze. Although she has stopped, you can still feel the death bearing finger mere inches away from your chest. "You reeeaaaally think so?" She asked innocently, using her other finger to point at herself. She was quite obviously not too bright, just as you expected from little miss (9).
[ ] "Yes, I really do. I was looking for such a pretty fairy, who would be smart enough to know where a blonde dollmaker would be..."
[ ] "Of course! Who could be cuter than you? Would the cutest fairy happen to know the way to the Scarlet Devil Mansion?"
[ ] "Uh-huh. The absolute prettiest in all Gensokyo. Tell me about you?"
[ ] "Yes... And here is a little present." Knock her out with the stick.
>>226423 "Oh! Meeee?" She flitters away, doing a little pirouette in midair. "Well, I live near to a lake. It's a really nice lake. I have nice neighbors, and they say if I help keep bad people away, they'll give me candy! And they do! I like candy, you know." You're out of danger for now, it seems. It gets even later; There's definately no way out of the forest without help, and you can hear several youkai skulking about. However, you're dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans. It's really not good cold weather clothing, since you expected to spend the whole day inside. Cirno is still chatting animatedly. "... And that's how I defeated that mean, huge frog! So whatcha think?" She asks, smiling cheerfully at you.
[ ] "Wonderful! But Cirno, I have to go sleep. Humans have to do that. Do you know where a human could sleep?"
[ ] You clap. "Wow, that's so amazing! I don't think I could do anything anywhere near as awesome. Do you think you could introduce me to your neighbors?"
[ ] "You're so amazing! Wow, I bet you could help me find this girl I'm looking for, she has blonde hair, her name is Alice Margatroid."
[ ] "Ooh! You are a very clever and brave fairy." You nod patronizingly at her. "Can you tell me how to get to the human village? You're so good, I'm sure you can?"
[ ] Nod, smiling... And grab that damn stick, and whack the little bug out of the sky.
[x ] You clap. "Wow, that's so amazing! I don't think I could do anything anywhere near as awesome. Do you think you could introduce me to your neighbors?"
>>226501 [x] You clap. "Wow, that's so amazing! I don't think I could do anything anywhere near as awesome. Do you think you could introduce me to your neighbors?"
>>226547 You sleep poorly that night, impossibly anxious about the result. But, you claim the same stall by morning, and by mid-afternoon the maid returns and marches right up to the stall. She asks you to meet her outside of the village at nightfall, which is agreed to without question. That evening, she leads you on a quiet walk through the forest, over to the massive scarlet mansion by a lake several miles away. You work up the courage to ask a few small questions, and learn that her name is Sakuya. A beautiful name, for a beautiful woman.
At the mansion, You pass by a nervous youkai doorguard dressed in some sort of green Chinese outfit, who calls out a greeting but goes unrecognized by Sakuya. Well, that's the usual for her, after all.
Inside the mansion, Sakuya leads you up to the second floor, and finally opens a large set of double doors to reveal a beautifully-furnished western bedroom, lit with a small lantern and complete with a large double bed. Your heart quickens immediately - surely she was lonely?
Sakuya quietly steps towards the bed, and you follow after only a moment's hesitation. After taking a few steps into the room, she vanishes.
>>226548 The lantern promptly goes out. A soft click comes from behind you as the door is closed, and then a thud as a bolt locks it tight.
"A fresh meal for you, mistress." Sakuya's voice calls out from the other side of the door, cold and emotionless.
"Excellent. I feel positively famished tonight..."
You hear leathery wings unfold somewhere in the darkness, and catch a glimpse of bright red eyes staring at you.
Moments later, terrible claws rake along your side. You fall to the ground with a cry of pain, only to be pounced on and held down by something small, yet impossibly strong. Something sharp bites into your neck, and you struggle wildly, but your attacker merely mutters something about holding still and claws at your chest.
Several distant snaps are the last thing you hear, as your ribcage is torn apart...
BAD END Next time, try to find out more about your crushes!
>>226515 As the designated "marketer" son of a farming family in the human village, you've seen many an interesting sight in the market square, especially when civil youkai show up to shop. However, nothing has ever caught your eye more than the silver-haired maid that appears every few weeks, shopping for basic foodstuffs. She always looked so sad and cold, speaking in an elegant, soft voice only to ask for her purchases. She never smiled, but you knew that hers would be beautiful, if only she would open up.
Smitten, you soon learn her visiting schedule, arriving at the market before dawn to claim the stall she always passed by first and offering her impossibly good deals (covered out of your own pocket, naturally), all to hear the sweet sound of her voice for that fleeting moment each month.
After almost a year, one day you see her approaching with a slight spring in her step - an impossibility against her stoic nature. But, you call her over for the monthly deal, and flash her an extra smile as you hand over the foodstuffs. She studies your face for a moment, and slowly smiles back, as gorgeous as you had ever imagined it.
"Thank you."
Your knees give way beneath you, collapsing on the stall counter. She hesitates, just long enough for you to stagger back to your feet and blurt out a long-overdue confession. The maid gives you a look of polite confusion, and smiles again.
"Very well, I will ask the mistress of the house if you may visit."
>>226511 "Umm. Umm." She frowns, thinking, putting her hands to her little head. "I think I know her. Buuut..." She shakes it. "I know where lots of other things are! Like a really nice waterfall, this shrine thingy (the miko is kinda mean there though!), umm, umm, I know where my neighbors live, and I know where this other blonde girl lives. That help, nice human?" She giggles obtusely. Despite her lack of knowledge as to where Alice is, she knows a some other recognizable locations. Where do you ask her to take you?
[ ] Reimu's Shrine
[ ] Scarlet Devil Mansion
[ ] Marisa's House
[ ] Ask her if she knows where the human village is.
>>226569 [X] Ask her if she knows where the human village is.
This way I can wait for when Alice does her puppet shows then follow her back to the Forest of Magic and her house. Tell her I got lost in the Forest and ask if I can stay with her.
>>226576 "Okaaaay! Follow mee!" She takes off, giving you a start as you hurry after her, because you are sure that without her around, your chances of survival are zero to zilch. Hmm. Maybe they still are, considering you're heading to the SDK. Heading to the Human Village may have been more prudent, but at least if you'll die, you'll go out with a bang. (Or maybe knives. Or maybe of bloodloss.) You do manage to keep up with her however, much to the disappointment of several hungry Youkai. After quite a few minutes of wandering around in the forest(You don't have a wristwatch, so you can't tell the exact time), tired and panting after running after the ice fairy you arrive at the lake.
"Umm, Cirno, I can't fly. And I will kind of, err, freeze, if I try to go through this water." You don't even need to test it, ice is floating on it. She grins at you mischeviously.
"Hold on tight, silly human!" And amazingly, the tiny little fairy not only manages to lift you, but carry you all the way across the lake, to the forboding mansion ahead. She sets you down on the opposite shore. "See, my neighbors!" She states proudly, with a satisfied nod, and pulls you forward, despite being so tired.
Ahead, you can see a red haired chinese girl, seemingly napping ahead.
[ ] "I don't think this is a good idea Cirno..."
[ ] Allow yourself to be dragged along, remaining quiet.
[ ] "Hello!" You call ahead cheerfully to the gatekeeper, quite sure of yourself.
>>226646 "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!" You exclaim as a titanic-sized mech crashes through the ceiling, startling the leather-winged woman. You quickly jump in and yell "GURREN LAGANN, SPIN ON!". The startled girl suddenly seems less confident as she gazes upon the hulking mech. Her screams are the last thing you hear as you GIGA DORIRU BREAAAKAAAAA!!!! right into her chest, tearing her and the entire mansion apart in the process.
"That's Meiling! She's really nice, she gives me candy. She sleeps alot though. She tries to tell me she's not, but she issss!" She darts forward. "HIIII MEILINNGGGG!" She yells, running closer to the surprised gateguard, who blinks.
"Eh- What- SAKUYA I WAS JUST RESTING MY EYES!" She exclaims, quickly coming to attention with a small salute. "Oh. Hi Cirno." She says, as soon as she realizes the maid is not there... but her blue eyes soon come to rest upon you, and her fists come up. "Halt, intruder! Please leave now!" She says soberly to you, raising her fists and getting into a martial fighting stance.
[ ] "Hello!" You reply cheerfully to the gatekeeper, quite sure of yourself. "I'm a friend of Cirno. I wanted to see the mansion and it's good gatekeeper. Could I come in, miss Meiling?"
[ ] Look over to Cirno nervously for her to stand up for you.
[ ] Scream, hide behind Cirno.
[ ] "Umm, Cirno, I don't think they welcome other visitors..." You explain quietly to Cirno hurriedly. "... Maybe you could take me somewhere else.
[X] "Hello!" You reply cheerfully to the gatekeeper, quite sure of yourself. "I'm a friend of Cirno. I wanted to see the mansion and it's good gatekeeper. Could I come in, miss Meiling?"
[x] "Hello!" You reply cheerfully to the gatekeeper, quite sure of yourself. "I'm a friend of Cirno. I wanted to see the mansion and it's good gatekeeper. Could I come in, miss Meiling?"
[X] "Hello!" You reply cheerfully to the gatekeeper, quite sure of yourself. "I'm a friend of Cirno. I wanted to see the mansion and it's good gatekeeper. Could I come in, miss Meiling?"
[X] "Hello!" You reply cheerfully to the gatekeeper, quite sure of yourself. "I'm a friend of Cirno. I wanted to see the mansion and it's good gatekeeper. Could I come in, miss Meiling?"
[x] "Hello!" You reply cheerfully to the gatekeeper, quite sure of yourself. "I'm a friend of Cirno. I wanted to see the mansion and it's good gatekeeper. Could I come in, miss Meiling?"
[X] "Hello!" You reply cheerfully to the gatekeeper, quite sure of yourself. "I'm a friend of Cirno. I wanted to see the mansion and it's good gatekeeper. Could I come in, miss Meiling?"
>>226812 The red haired woman looks around sheepishly, looking rather embarrassed by the compliment. "Oh- I cannot do that, sir." She seems quite personable to talk with, and more friendly now that she isn't actively threatening you; she moves out of the fighting stance. "It is my job to keep all intruders out, and I have succeeded! I cannot let my guard down! It would be a failure to protect the mansion!" It is easy to tell that she is trying to be impressive.
"But what about that girl who got in last year, t-" Cirno starts, but a glare from the chinese girl cuts her off with a small startled shrug.
[ ] "Yes, you're a very good guard. You wouldn't be letting an intruder in if you invited me, would you Miss Meiling?" You reply respectfully, trying to give her a winning smile.
[ ] "Alright, if you really think so... You -are- an impressive gate guard, I couldn't possibly get past -you-." You make a show of turning away regretfully.
[ ] "Cirno, I think I need to find somewhere else to sleep though." You whisper to the little fairy. "It was nice to meet you, Miss Meiling. Perhaps I'll see you again?"
[x] "Yes, you're a very good guard. You wouldn't be letting an intruder in if you invited me, would you Miss Meiling?" You reply respectfully, trying to give her a winning smile.
>>226925 [X] "Yes, you're a very good guard. You wouldn't be letting an intruder in if you invited me, would you Miss Meiling?" You reply respectfully, trying to give her a winning smile
☑ "Cirno, I think I need to find somewhere else to sleep though." You whisper to the little fairy. "It was nice to meet you, Miss Meiling. Perhaps I'll see you again?"
>>226925 [X] "Yes, you're a very good guard. You wouldn't be letting an intruder in if you invited me, would you Miss Meiling?" You reply respectfully, trying to give her a winning smile.
I wonder how long we can get away with this kissass method.
[X] "Cirno, I think I need to find somewhere else to sleep though." You whisper to the little fairy. "It was nice to meet you, Miss Meiling. Perhaps I'll see you again?"
>>226966 Oh, Meiling... I'd hold you forever, I'd love you and care for you, and keep the mean mean head maid's knives away from your precious little head
>>226930 The gatekeeper looks hesitant, and looks nervously, as though expecting someone else to show up. "I am sorry sir, I honestly cannot. Sakuya-san would not approve." She looks rather unhappy with having to answer so, as she quite clearly likes you; it's probable she hasn't been visited by anyone knew in a while, and it has been same old, same old for quite some time. Cirno frowns.
"But Meiling!" The ice fairy whines, "Are you -SURE- you can't?! He's really nice!"
[ ] Nod eagerly with Cirno. "Please, Miss Meiling?"
[ ] Shake your head. "It's fine, Cirno. Besides, I think I know somewhere else you can take me."
[ ] "Alright, if you really think so... You -are- an impressive gate guard, I couldn't possibly get past -you-." You make a show of turning away regretfully. "C'mon, Cirno."
>>227052 Seeing a picture of Flandre made me think about this:
You have somehow gotten yourself inside the mansion, and have avoidet Sakuya. As you sneak your way in the hallways, you hear a door open next to you. You take a look at the door, and at the entrance, a sleepy looking Falndre is looking at you.
[X] "Alright, if you really think so... You -are- an impressive gate guard, I couldn't possibly get past -you-." You make a show of turning away regretfully. "C'mon, Cirno."
>>227098 She shakes her head sadly. "I really cannot! I am sorry, sir." She bows respectfully. "Please leave peacefully, I do not wish to harm you." She sounds finallized.
Cirno looks piqued, but grabs you by the arm. "C'mon, I'll show you somewhere else! Even better!" The fairy is amazingly strong for her height. Meiling waves, albeit timidly, as you go... And in one of the windows of the mansion, you see the vague shape of a maid, watching as you go. Perhaps it was lucky she did not allow you entrance.
Flying you once more across the lake, Cirno first looks at you. "Okay, okay, let's play a game real quick." She claps her hands excitedly. "I'ma hold up 4 fingers. I'll take you somewhere depending on what ya pick!" She looks pleased at her "clever" idea.
>>227230 Perfect Memento in Strict Sense: >>She possesses the ability to destroy any and all things even with or without touching them. >>Her method of destroying things so effortlessly involves pouring her power into the "eyes" of any material where its tension is the highest. >>She can use her ability to cause these "eyes" to move into the palm of her hand. >>In other words, by crushing the "eye" held within her hand, she causes things to break. >>It's a truly frightening ability with no real weaknesses. Mix with an unstable, though relatively childish, personality and ...
>>227244 >:P Excuse me sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from doing that. That's not acceptable behavior around these parts. I'm letting you off with a warning this time.
Fandom's kind of mellowed her out though and accentuated her more childish nature, as well as played up a thing between her and Marisa off the back of their in game dialogue.
>>227203 Cirno looks rather surprised, and blinks at you for a second, not understanding. Suddenly she grins. "Oooh! You're realllly clever! I get to pick then, I get to pick!" She squeals happily. Hopping up and down. Not giving you a chance to reply, she picks you up off the ground, flying you to who knows where. Anon, decide!
>>227328 She takes you rather high up, although not so far that you have trouble breathing. Oddly, you don't feel any sense of possible falling, or any other fear that might normally get to you from such a precarious position. Then again, that might be brain freeze from sticking around Cirno for so long. It's the middle of the night now, and quite cold between both the normal tempature and Cirno's presence, and you're shivering. Looking down, however, you see a small blonde girl dart into a small home. Although you can't quite tell who it is, Marisa would probably be wearing her hat. Your teeth chattering a bit, and you can see your breath in the air.
[ ] Do not comment, allow her to take you onward.
[ ] "Hey, Cirno?" You ask, suppressing a shiver. "Can we see who is down there instead?" You point out the quaint house.
>>227090 [X] "Alright, if you really think so... You -are- an impressive gate guard, I couldn't possibly get past -you-." You make a show of turning away regretfully. "C'mon, Cirno."
