If you want to blame anyone for this travesty, blame Nine. He asked me to write it for him. That's why I'm posting it here.

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"Yu~?"
"Yu~!"
It had been a long winter. The coldest winter either of them could remember. Then again, considering their total lack of long-term memory, this wasn't particularly surprising.
"Yu~ It's warmer outside easy!" One of them said as it bounced down the gentle slope into the nest. Their burrow had taken a long time to build, the better part of a month. Digging is hard work when the only thing you can dig with is your mouth. They had lined the hole in the ground with leaves and moss, piled up fruit against the back wall and then rolled a big stone over the entrance tunnel. They didn't like the idea of animals trying to get in while they were sleeping.

Or indeed, other Yukkuri.

"Take it easy?" The one who had stayed behind asked.
"Take it easy!" The other one replied with enthusiasm, opening its mouth to drop a branch onto the floor of the nest. The branch was covered with huge, ripe, succulent berries. As the hoard of fruit had dwindled to almost nothing, the pair of Yukkuri had stared to worry. They had rationed their food carefully over the winter months, but when the weaker of the pair started to complain of hunger, the stronger one knew it was time to brave the world outside once more.

"Take it easy here!" The stronger one had said before leaving to find food.
"Take it easy outside, okay?" The weaker one had said. "Bring back lots of food easy!"

"So much food easy!" The weaker Yukkuri said, bouncing over towards the branch and tearing off a few of the berries. "This shit's good!" It said, grinning for the first time after days of hunger, juices running from its mouth as it gorged itself on the fruit.
"Take it easy!" The stronger one said. "There's lots of food outside! It's easy!"
"Outside is easy again?" The weaker one asked.
"Yu~!" The stronger one said, bouncing away, heading outside again. "Follow me easy!"
"Yuuuu~" The weaker Yukkuri was scared. It shook, scared of going out into the cold. But it trusted its mate, so it followed, not wanting to be left behind.

The Yukkuris emerged from their hole, shuffling up though the dirt and blinking in the strong sunlight.
"Yu~!" The weaker one was surprised at how different the world looked. The white cold stuff was no longer all over the ground. The trees and bushes were covered with leaves. Here and there it could see fruit growing. A butterfly flapped past as it watched.
"Yu~" It said in wonder.
"Spring is easy!" The stronger one said, looking proud for having shown its mate a safer world outside. "We can take it easy together!" It said.
"Yu~" The weaker Yukkuri blushed, rubbing against its mate.
"Yuyuyu~"
"Lets get-"
But the Yukkuris both suddenly froze, they could hear something coming through the bushes. A noise they didn't remember, but their instinct did.
"U~♪ U~♪" The odd, monotone singing was accompanied by a swishing noise. A flapping of wings.

"Yu~! Yu~!" Both Yukkuris panicked, bouncing as fast as they could back to their burrow. The weak one went in first.
"Don't take it easy! Hurry up!" The stronger one said from behind it, panicking.
"U~♪ U~♪" The singing noise got closer and closer.
The weaker Yukkuri finally made it into the nest. The stronger one followed shortly after, rolling the big stone over the entrance. They both stayed very still, shaking with fear.
"U~" There was a thump against the stone.
"Yuuuu~" The weaker Yukkuri was scared.
There was a second thump, followed by the receding sound of flapping wings.
"It went away easy!" The stronger one said.
"Yuuu~!" The weaker Yukkuri rubbed up against its mate. "Aoi was scared!" It wailed.
The stronger one comforted it, gently licking its face. "Take it easy! Futako was scared too easy!"

Indeed, these two Yukkuri were not just rare, they were nearly unheard of. The stronger of the two, known to itself as Futako, had been catalogued by Akyu as a 'Futakkouri'. It had a small black hat perched rakishly upon its head. The weaker, calling itself Aoi, had only ever been spotted once. It had been labelled as 'Yukkaoi.' It had a long brown ponytail, but was otherwise very plain.

After fleeing into the safety of their nest, it took the pair a long time to calm down. But eventually, the Yukkaoi had an idea.
"Yu~!" It bounced. "If outside is easy again, will it be easy for Aoi's babies?"
The Futakkouri grinned with sudden glee. "Yeah! It will be easy for babies!"
They rubbed against each other, the Yukkaoi turning red and glancing down. It was very excited. Despite their instincts, both Yukkuri had refrained from getting refreshed all winter long, aware that their babies would not survive the lack of food. The Yukkaoi had forced away thoughts of getting refreshed, but now it could hardly wait.
"Aoi ... Aoi wants to get refreshed." It said nervously.
"Then let's get refreshed easy!" The Futakkouri said with pride.
The Yukkaoi turned to its mate, rubbing rigourously against its side. "Aoi wants to get refreshed! Aoi wants to get refreshed."
"Refreshed refreshed!"
"Aoi will give Futako healthy babies!"
"No, easy." The Futakkouri said suddenly.
"Ta-take it easy?" The Yukkaoi looked up at its mate, confused.
"Aoi will take Futako's babies!" It said, leaping on top of the Yukkaoi.
"Yu~!" The Futakkouri was squashing the Yukkaoi into the floor of their nest. It was slowly turning red, drops of sweat running down its body as it pinned the Yukkaoi beneath itself.
"N-no!" The Yukkaoi tried to struggle, but its mate was too strong. "Aoi wants to be on top easy! Aoi wants to get refreshed like a man easy!"
"Yu~! Yu~!" But the Futakkouri wasn't listening as it stared to vibrate, turning a deeper red.
"Yuuu~! Aoi doesn't want to get refreshed like this! I can't take it easy like this!" It struggled, trying not to feel the unwelcome vibrations from its mate.

"Get refreshed and take Futako's babies!" The Futakkouri nearly screamed with pleasure, vibrating harder now. The Yukkaoi had give up struggling, merely twitching and moaning weakly.
"No ... easy ... no."
Suddenly the speed of the Futakkouri's vibration increased.
"Yu~! Yu~!"
"No!"
"Yuu~!
The Yukkaoi's eyes bulged with the pain as something happened. Something it didn't understand, even though it knew what such a feeling meant.
"Refreshing!" The Futakkouri said happily as it rolled off its mate. "Our babies will be very cute!" It said, rubbing up against its mate. The Yukkaoi couldn't summon the strength the move, to flinch in fear from its abusive mate.

But it would have to move soon. It had to find more food.

It could already feel the birthing tendril starting to poke through the flesh of its forehead.