[x] Push Reisen out of the way.

[x] Push Reisen out of the way.
-[x] Equip Jagermaster to grab the syringe arrow as it flys at you and hurl it back at Eirin.

[*] Push Reisen out of the way.
[*] Nishi Shinku Ha

Let's pay Eirin back, eh?

[x] >>23606

Well... opps; but this is perfect for the task.

[#] Push Reisen out of the way.
[#] Nishi Shinku Ha

Awright. That's it. Let's do this! ...If only she didn't have perfect regeneration. Just keep blowing up her hands whenever we get close, grab Reisen, and book it, adopting the bunny as Tenshi's older sister on the way?

[x] Push Reisen out of the way.
[x] Nishi Shinku Ha

>>23608
If those arrows are drugged, she may be slowed down by them. Even poison would slow her down for a time.

[X] Push Reisen out of the way.
[X] Nishi Shinku Ha

>>23611

Voting for this. Would copy and paste but cant with this phone. Also we need to save Reisen, dont turn her into atypical Kenshiro ally that dies the same episode they appear.

[X] Push Reisen out of the way.
[X] Nishi Shinku Ha

[x] Push Reisen out of the way.
[x] Nishi Shinku Ha

>>23610
If she's confident that it'll knock HIM out, then that goes double for her. How else are we gonna stop an immortal anyway?

[x] Push Reisen out of the way.
-[x] Equip Jagermaster to grab the syringe arrow as it flys at you and hurl it back at Eirin.

[X] Push Reisen out of the way.
[X] Nishi Shinku Ha

>>23615

Simple, get Kaguya on our side.

[X] Push Reisen out of the way
-[X] Equip Smooth Criminal
--[X] Evade Eirin's attacks while leaving the room.

SHOULDA DONE THIS EARLIER BOYS


I only remember Joe being resistant to magic, not drugs.

I mean, he choked down alot of alchohol but he'de be damaged from that, and sedative != alchohol, though they both be depressents.

Also keep in mind we're in supar pain. Bandages don't fix poison being inside you, nor blood loss.

"but Reisen seems to be a good person deep down, despite her crazy eyes."
Pic Related, it's Reisin

[x] Push Reisen out of the way.
[x] Nishi Shinku Ha

You know, I've only just realised, but... why are we running from Eirin as opposed to, say, carrying her with us and reexploding her head every time she respawns? I mean, being at range puts us at a severe disadvantage.(Well, unless Nishi Shinku Ha works, at least)

>>23619
Generally it does, often with fatal results as most folks using crossbows can't really take an arrow in the chest as well as Kenshiro can.

She may be immortal, but not invincible.

[x] Push Reisen out of the way.
[x] Nishi Shinku Ha
[x] Hit her Kisha Acupressure point(Paralysis) for good measure.

Just because she's immortal doesn't been she can't be brought down by a well placed hit.

[x] Push Reisen out of the way.
[x] Nishi Shinku Ha

“Um, I’m sorry, but am I’m interrupting something?”

You push Reisen out of harms way and you activate Nishi Shinku Ha to catch the soon to fly arrow and…huh?

“I was at the human village when suddenly I heard a desperate prayer, so I followed it here.”

You see a familiar woman with green hair standing behind Eirin with a perplexed look on her face. Eirin just looks behind her shoulder, completely surprised by this arrival (along with both you and Reisen) and is practically speechless.

She looks to be a little dimwitted, so it takes her a moment to realize that you’re being attacked by Eirin. She ponders this for a little bit before suddenly and spontaneously coming up with a resolution.

“Eirin, I used to by medicine from you all the time because you seemed like a reliable and trustworthy person. Please don’t betray my expectations by attacking these two people. I know deep down that you’re a good person, and a good person doesn’t hurt other people, no matter what.”

What.
That’s the dumbest thing you ever heard. This person, whoever she is, is just a naïve fool who doesn’t even know what Eirin’s true goal is. Hell, she doesn’t even know what Eirin’s dirty little secret is. You, once again, get ready for the attack but it seems there‘s something wrong with Eirin.

“But, I AM a good person. I’m doing this for the good…” Eirin feebly tries to explain herself, but the green haired lady quickly cuts her off.

“How can you say you’re a good person when you’re attacking people like this? Did they deserve it?”
“Well……no, not really.”
“Then you’re not a good person, you’re a bad guy.”
“I’m not a bad guy!”
“Then stop attacking them, and promise not to attack any more innocent people.”
“…”

You can’t believe this. Not only does this newcomer’s words actually reach Eirin’s twisted mind, but it actually looks like she completely and utterly defeats Eirin’s resolve.

“Alright, I’ll leave them alone.”

WAT

You went through all of that SHIT and she just waltzes on in here and says, “oh look! You’re a good person! Bad people do these kinds of things! Stop being bad!” and she just SUDDENLY does a complete heel face turn and stops being a bad guy? Reisen, her pupil for god knows how long, said practically the same thing and she was targeted along with you in the end! This kind of bullshitery has to be a…

“Thank the gods you finally saw your error. It’s a miracle that I got here in time to save them.”

Fuckin…
Okay, You know you wanted that miracle really badly, but this is just bullshit. You were expecting some kind of awesome dramatic resolution to this conflict, or at least some kind of action to happen, but you just feel ripped off. You want your miracle back…

Eirin’s sudden mood swing causes her to lower her guard and accidentally releases the arrow that she was holding up till now! The arrow soars towards your heart and you instantly react with Nishi Shinku Ha, catching the arrow mid-flight.

Oh fuck that was close.

Then, on instinct, you fling the arrow back towards Eirin.

Oh FUCK.

Luckily Eirin manages to dodge the arrow, despite not attempting to avoid physical harm before.

Oh fuck that was really close.

And then the arrow hits the green haired lady in the shoulder.

Oh FUCK

She drops down like a sack of potatoes from the sudden attack and, because it was your fault she got hit by a syringe/arrow thing, you run past Eirin and check her condition. She looks drowsily up at you and blinks a few times.

“Hey…you look familiar…I think I blessed you with a miracle before…”
And then she passes out in your arms.
Well, geeze. You were mad that she solved your horrible problem in the most stupidly impossible way ever, but you didn‘t want her to get hurt! It looks like she‘s going to be okay, so you figure that she had at least that coming to her. Eirin suddenly appears next to you (and you jump backwards from her in surprise) and pulls the syringe out of the green haired lady. You looks at you with incredible remorse and apologizes to you.

“Listen, I’m sorry I troubled you like this. I was honestly trying to find a medicine that would cure all illnesses, but I could only test the drug out on humans…and…well, it was good she came along and showed me how poorly I was treating the very people I promised to save (what? No she didn’t). I cured your illness, so you may go now, you don’t have to pay me or anything. I’ll make sure she’s okay, so you can leave her in my capable hands.”

“Master, let me help…”
Reisen tries to approach Eirin, but Eirin suddenly responds, once again with remorse in her voice, “When you asked to be my apprentice, I only asked for one thing and that was complete obedience. You openly disobeyed me three times when I demanded you to step aside.”
“But that was…”
“You’re fired.”

Ouch. That was really cruel of her to do. All she did was try to talk some sense into you…aw fuck it. You just figure that the green haired lady has an insane amount of Charisma and Luck.
Reisen stands there in shock and she has this confused expression on her face, as if she doesn’t know what to do now…

[x] Quick! Throw an invitation at Reisen while she’s weakened by her job loss!
[x] No, she’ll have to do some soul searching on her own. Go back to your party members and tell them of all the “awesome” stuff they missed.

Uh, not that you don’t trust Eirin or anything, but what should you do with that green haired lady?
[x] Stuff her in your bag and you’ll deal with her when she wakes up. That “miracle” business could come in handy.
[x] Naah, Eirin said she’s in capable hands…

(Sanae’s a total killjoy, huh? But come on, how can you get mad at a face like that?)

[x] No, she’ll have to do some soul searching on her own. Go back to your party members and tell them of all the “awesome” stuff they missed.
[x] Naah, Eirin said she’s in capable hands…

Fuck them both, time to get back home

[x] No, she’ll have to do some soul searching on her own. Go back to your party members and tell them of all the “awesome” stuff they missed, completing fabricating how you defeated Eirin with your awesome manliness and what not.
[x] Stuff her in your bag and you’ll deal with her when she wakes up. She owes you a refund for the crap "miracle" she gave you.

What? Miracles are groundbreaking, earthshattering, skyblasting awesomeness, not mundane word shit.

[x] No, she’ll have to do some soul searching on her own. Go back to your party members and tell them of all the "awesome" stuff they missed.
[x] Stuff her hairpieces in your bag and carry her with you to to join the others. You'll deal with her when she wakes up. She owes you a refund for the crap "miracle" she gave you.

So supposing she was referring to how she granted us with a miracle last time, I guess this means Tenshi is in for a new illegitimate younger sibling to join our happy family?

Also what happened to that stuffed bunny gift after all of this? I wouldn't want to give a present to our daughter from someone who violated our trust and sought to break us just for a simple card game. The thing is probably completely ruined anyway after all of the recent abuse, so we need to give our child something much better than this.

>>23627
Then lets recruit Reisen and give her to Tenshi

Killjoy? Fuck no: whatever works.
Still, if you want to have an epic moment, why don't we make a speech?

[x] "Reisen was trying to show you the same thing since the beginning and you treat her like shit?! You apologize for losing your way and then scold and fire the one person who tried to stop you for doing so in the first place?!"
-[x] "You're not a good person: you're an asshole. A selfish, fake, hopeless prick. And I'm not leaving this girl -or ANYONE- in your care. I wouldn't desire that to my worst enemy."
To Reisen:
[x] "I'm sorry it turned out this way. I'm sure you want to be alone now but... if you need something-a favor, a job, revenge-I'll be waiting."
To Sanae that girl:
[x] In the bag you go.

Pretty raw, but it's a start. By the way, the 'revenge' offer to Reisen was against himself, not Eirin: it's his fault that she was fired after all. That part is kinda confusing, no?

[x] Quick! Throw an invitation at Reisen while she ’s weakened by her job loss!
[x] Stuff her in your bag and you ’ll deal with her when she wakes up. She owes you a refund for the crap "miracle" she gave you.

[X] "Reisen was trying to show you the same thing since the beginning and you treat her like shit?! You apologize for losing your way and then scold and fire the one person who tried to stop you for doing so in the first place?!"
-[X] "You're not a good person: you're an asshole. A selfish, fake, hopeless prick. And I'm not leaving this girl -or ANYONE- in your care. I wouldn't desire that to my worst enemy."
To Reisen:
[X] "I'm sorry it turned out this way. I'm sure you want to be alone now but... if you need something-a favor, a job, revenge-I'll be waiting."
To Sanae that girl:
[X] In the bag you go.

This works.

[x] "Reisen was trying to show you the same thing since the beginning and you treat her like shit?! You apologize for losing your way and then scold and fire the one person who tried to stop you for doing so in the first place?!"
-[x] "You're not a good person: you're an asshole. A selfish, fake, hopeless prick. And I'm not leaving this girl -or ANYONE- in your care. I wouldn't desire that to my worst enemy."
To Reisen:
[x] "I'm sorry it turned out this way. I'm sure you want to be alone now but... if you need something-a favor, a job, revenge-I'll be waiting."
To that girl:
[x] In the bag you go.

I like this option.

>>23627
>>23628
You're doing it wrong.

[x] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.
[x] Stuff her in your bag and you’ll deal with her when she wakes up. That “miracle” business could come in handy.

[x] "Reisen was trying to show you the same thing since the beginning and you treat her like shit?! You apologize for losing your way and then scold and fire the one person who tried to stop you for doing so in the first place?!"
-[x] "You're not a good person: you're an asshole. A selfish, fake, hopeless prick. And I'm not leaving this girl -or ANYONE- in your care. I wouldn't desire that to my worst enemy."
To Reisen:
[x] "I'm sorry it turned out this way. I'm sure you want to be alone now but... if you need something-a favor, a job, revenge-I'll be waiting."
To Sanae that girl:
[x] In the bag you go.


Yeah sure, let's go with this.

[x] Quick! Throw an invitation at Reisen while she ’s weakened by her job loss!
[x] Stuff her in your bag and you ’ll deal with her when she wakes up. She owes you a refund for the crap "miracle" she gave you.

The more the merrier.

[x] Quick! Throw an invitation at Reisen while she ’s weakened by her job loss!
[x] Stuff her in your bag and you ’ll deal with her when she wakes up. She owes you a refund for the crap "miracle" she gave you.

C'mon, Tenshi needs an 'older' sister! And a pet rabbit! She'd be so happy!

[x] Quick! Throw an invitation at Reisen while she ’s weakened by her job loss!
[x] Stuff her in your bag and you ’ll deal with her when she wakes up. She owes you a refund for the crap "miracle" she gave you.

[x] Quick! Throw an invitation at Reisen while she ’s weakened by her job loss!
[x] Stuff her in your bag and you ’ll deal with her when she wakes up. She owes you a refund for the crap "miracle" she gave you.

[x] "Reisen was trying to show you the same thing since the beginning and you treat her like shit?! You apologize for losing your way and then scold and fire the one person who tried to stop you for doing so in the first place?!"
-[x] "You're not a good person: you're an asshole. A selfish, fake, hopeless prick. And I'm not leaving this girl -or ANYONE- in your care. I wouldn't desire that to my worst enemy."
To Reisen:
[x] "I'm sorry it turned out this way. I'm sure you want to be alone now but... if you need something-a favor, a job, revenge-I'll be waiting."
To Sanae that girl:
[x] In the bag you go.

>>23640

My question is, do we really want to maybe undo all the work Sanae did? It was a true miracle, and we'd be acting totally against it...

>>23641
That is a good point, but is Eirin truly belives herself to be good, then she will not change (again) due to a few observations now would she?

[x] "Reisen was trying to show you the same thing since the beginning and you treat her like shit?! You apologize for losing your way and then scold and fire the one person who tried to stop you for doing so in the first place?!"
-[x] "You're not a good person: you're an asshole. A selfish, fake, hopeless prick. And I'm not leaving this girl -or ANYONE- in your care. I wouldn't desire that to my worst enemy."
To Reisen:
[x] "I'm sorry it turned out this way. I'm sure you want to be alone now but... if you need something-a favor, a job, revenge-I'll be waiting."
To that girl:
[x] In the bag you go.

Oh god that was really infuriating when I read Reisen being fired. I really do call bullshit on this 180 by Eirin, no way in hell would someone who's really sorry for what they done act like that. She may also want to get rid of us so she could use Sanae as a experiment like she was trying to do so to us. Only conclusion I can come to after thinking about us.

[x] "Reisen was trying to show you the same thing since the beginning and you treat her like shit?! You apologize for losing your way and then scold and fire the one person who tried to stop you for doing so in the first place?!"
-[x] "You're not a good person: you're an asshole. A selfish, fake, hopeless prick. And I'm not leaving this girl -or ANYONE- in your care. I wouldn't desire that to my worst enemy."
To Reisen:
[x] "I'm sorry it turned out this way. I'm sure you want to be alone now but... if you need something-a favor, a job, revenge-I'll be waiting."
To that girl:
[x] In the bag you go.


You harshly scold Eirin while you sling the green-haired lady over your right shoulder. After all, how COULD she do such a ruthless thing to her student?

“Listen, I understand you’re angry and frustrated with me, and you have every right to be, but I demand complete and absolute obedience from my pupil. We made a pact and she broke it, so she’s no longer my pupil.”

Wow, even if she was doing the right thing?

“Even if she was doing the right thing.”

Then you have nothing more to say to her. You tell Reisen that if she ever needs company or something to do, then she can come work for you. You turn around and leave the both of them to their thoughts as you walk down the hallway to the entrance of Eientei. You feel Reisen’s eyes upon your back as you leave them standing there.

“If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, you’re welcome to come back anytime you want.” Eirin calls out after you, almost as if apologizing.

Oh joy, you’ll have to consider that the next time you feel like visiting a psychopath. The miracle was just to save your ass from Eirin, and you don’t think its going to change Eirin’s beliefs at all. She’ll just go back to her crazy experiments after a little bit and its gonna start all over again. Speaking of miracles, why the heck are you carrying this woman when you have a perfectly good bag? You stuff her in your bag and continue onwards, you‘ll deal with her when she wakes up.

You suddenly realize that the pain in your left arm is gone (but it still feels a little stiff) and that the sedative seems to be wearing off. It seems like the stuff you were recently injected with has a drastic effect, but doesn’t last very long at all. Well, that’s good and all, but where would your family and friends be? Would they still be in the guest room, or maybe they went outside because of the explosions? You decide to check outside because you need a breath of fresh air anyways.

You find the guestroom empty as expected, so you continue and open the front doors to see an incredible sight outside. You see one person on the ground throwing fire at someone high in the sky, and the person in the sky is chucking all sorts of brightly colored magical shit back at her. You can’t really make out who the two combatants are, but you recognize the white-haired lady on the ground as she jumps into the air to meet the other person (which you guess is Kaguya?). They both start making all sorts of intricate patterns in the sky and are causing an incredible scene in the night sky. Below this spectacle, right in front of you, is Yuuka and Tenshi watching the sight above them with much interest. Marisa’s a short distance away commenting excitedly on who’s going to win and Aya’s nowhere to be found (probably taking pictures of the fight). Both Yuuka and Tenshi notice you exiting Eientei and they stand there waiting for you.

You drop your bag (and you hear a muffled “oomph!” coming from it) when you suddenly remember the gift you were going to give Tenshi! You start to panic when think back to the last time you saw it, but you calm down when you realize that you were holding it in your left hand this entire time.

[x] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.
[x] Ooh, pretty lights. Watch the fight from where you are.
[x] Hey, I wonder what Aya’s doing?

[*] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

"I got a present for you, Tenshi.

It's a little dirty."

[x] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

[x] Ooh, pretty lights. Watch the fight from where you are.

[x] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

[x] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

Our family might be the weirdest family to ever be made but DAMN we still need to be a family man!

[X] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

Family first.

[x] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.
This is strangely familiar.

[x] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

[x] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

Con Air/Homestuck, in my Touhou?

>>23662
It's more likely than you think.

[X] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

[X] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

[x] Reunite with your loving wife and daughter.

You stand there and music begins to play from out of nowhere (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFnD3uwKHag&feature=related) while you suddenly get a great idea. You put Tenshi’s gift into your right hand and walk towards your loving “family”. You’re going to make this work, YOU’RE MAKING THIS HAPPEN.

You approach Yuuka and Tenshi standing together with each other (it looks like they’ve gotten along…maybe) and they both stare at you because you look a little worse for wear.

“Hello, Joe” Yuuka says to you, seemingly unaffectionate, but you know deep down she’s worried about you.

“Hello, Sunflower” you greet her back and you see Tenshi fidgeting nervously in place as she see’s your bandaged arm and hopes you’ll be alright.

“I meant to get a haircut…” You continue with your AWESOME reference and both Yuuka and Tenshi just stares at you like you’re an idiot as you quickly continue the reference.

“I got a present for you Tenshi.” And you hold out the dirty, mushed up almost stuffed bunny out to her. She kind of cowers in fear from your “gift” (which is to be expected, nobody would want to hold it, let alone receive it as a gift from their father…) and you quickly bring it back. You half wanted the reference to continue perfectly, and you half wanted Tenshi to actually take the thing and hold it in her arms lovingly, so you cringe when she reacts that way.

“A little dirty…” You try to explain as you try to wipe the dirt off of the bunny with your “shirt” (which is actually your abs) and it just somehow makes it worse.

“Tenshi, sweetie, you take your daddy’s present now.” Yuuka strokes Tenshi’s hair lovingly(?) as she looks down at her. You wonder if Yuuka somehow managed to see this movie and caught on to the reference.

“No, no, no, honey, its okay.” You continue with the reference until Tenshi says something surprising.

“I got a picture…a picture of you.” She looks up at you with a confused look on her face.

Well, you were going to say “I got a picture of you too,” but first of all, you don’t have such a thing and second of all, how the hell did Tenshi get your reference? Unless, of course, she really does have a picture of you, which doesn’t make sense because you’re fairly sure you destroyed all pictures of you that she has…
Then how the hell did she get a picture of you?
No…It couldn’t be…

Your face has a clear look of horror on it, so you quickly shove the bunny in Tenshi’s face and she takes it timidly with a slightly disgusted look on her face. Yuuka pushes Tenshi forwards into your arms and she gives you an awkward hug. You awkwardly hug her back and then Yuuka steps in for a hug too, so the whole thing becomes a nice, big awkward moment.

You look over at Marisa and she’s not paying any attention to your little family reunion at all, so maybe she didn’t really give Tenshi your “picture“. Besides, what would her motivation be anyways? But maybe it wasn’t the same kind of picture you’re thinking of at all and its just a normal picture that Aya took of you? But you don’t remember Aya taking a picture normal of you except for when you first met her and you’re fairly certain you destroyed that picture as well because you had a grimace on your face and it looked menacing…
ARGH, you’re head hurts…

Just as you were trying to figure that out, you hear a voice from a short distance away
“Mmm, so sleepy. Why am I in a bag?”

You see a tiny figure attempting to crawl out of your bag and escape to freedom…

[x] NO! Do anything and EVERYTHING to catch this woman! Do not let her escape!
[x] Eh, whatever, let her go. You got bigger fish to fry (or should you say…bird to fry?)
[x] Oh Marisa, lets have a chat, shall we?
[x] Tenshi, sweetie, can you tell me what picture you’re talking about and where you got it from?
[x] Just go somewhere else dammit. Maybe if you ignore it, the problem will go away. <choose somewhere to go>

[x] NO! Do anything and EVERYTHING to catch this woman! Do not let her escape! SHE OWES US A REAL FUCKING MIRACLE!

I've no idea what's going on anymore.

[x] NO! Do anything and EVERYTHING to catch this woman! Do not let her escape!
[x] Tenshi, sweetie, can you tell me what picture you’re talking about and where you got it from?

Okay, first, secure Tenshi's future 'big sister', and once that's complete, find out who destroyed our daughter's precious innocence and come down on them with the WRATH of a PROTECTIVE FATHER!

[*] Just go somewhere else dammit. Maybe if you ignore it, the problem will go away.
[*]To the village!

We didn't get anything done last time. We should work on recruiting troops or something, and show Yukari just how Bad we are.

{X] Let her out of the bag and apologize.
{X] CONVERSATE (write in a write in)

[x] Tenshi, sweetie, can you tell me what picture you’re talking about and where you got it from?
Priorities, priorities.

[x] NO! Do anything and EVERYTHING to catch this woman! Do not let her escape!
[x] Tenshi, sweetie, can you tell me what picture you ’re talking about and where you got it from?

WHAT IS GOING ON!?

[x] Just go somewhere else dammit. Maybe if you ignore it, the problem will go away.
[x] Underworld. Chat with the Yama.

[x] Let her out of the bag, apologize. (The real Miracle? Finding a nice niche in Gensokyo)
[x] Tenshi, sweetie, can you tell me what picture you ’re talking about and where you got it from?

[x] NO! Do anything and EVERYTHING to catch this woman! Do not let her escape!

(yeesh, been real busy lately, hopefully we can get this story rolling soon. Also, I made this update a while ago, so sorry if it contradicts the votes. I didn't have any time to post this at all.)


You would love to ask Tenshi all about this picture business, but you could always ask her later and right now, someone owes you a miracle (and an explanation). You tell Yuuka and Tenshi that you’ll be back soon (to which Yuuka simply nods and goes back to watching the fight up above and Tenshi just stares at you), as you run after your quarry. You see the green-haired lady (who was recently stuffed into your bag) slowly saunter away without any haste or worry at all. Well, if she wants this to be easy for you, fine.

You run up to her and attempt to grab her shoulders but, right when you reach her, she leaps into the air and slowly begins to fly away. Hey! This was supposed to be easy! And why is it that everyone can fly but you? Its really quite aggravating.
You call out angrily for her to come back, but it seems like she didn’t hear you at all. You follow her through the bamboo forest, but she slowly begins to pick up speed and you’re not exactly the fastest person around so you start to fall behind. You kinda hoped Aya was here, but now is not the time for regrets! You activate Jagermaster and just barely keep her in your sight as you weave through the bamboo and follow her out of the forest.

Once you break free of the forest, you see her suddenly pick up a LOT of speed (now that there is no more bamboo to get in the way) and she zooms away faster than you can hope to match. You continue to follow her single-mindedly (with the help of Jagermaster of course) and you just barely manage to keep up with her as she slows down and begins to land. She lands near a group of peasant looking people and walks on over to a small blonde child with an incredibly silly hat and begins to talk to her. You run right up to her in an attempt to engage conversation, but right when you do so, you realize that you’re in the middle of the human village again.
Uhh, oops? Stupid Jagermaster and its quirks, you didn’t notice where she was going at all!

“Sanae! Where have you been? You need to stop working so hard and enjoy yourself! Market day doesn’t last forever you know! C’mon! Lets go get some candy!” The small, incredibly happy blonde child is jumping up and down and tugging at Sanae’s sleeves. Oh god that hat has eyes on it. Why does it have eyes???

“Lady Suwako, it was a very desperate prayer that I couldn’t just ignore. This person was actually in danger!”
Huh, it looks like Sanae didn’t notice you following her at all and is talking to this…Suwako person completely oblivious of your presence.

“Oh ho, so it wasn’t a couple looking for a little ‘blessing’ this time?” Suwako gives Sanae a naughty smile and nudges her with her elbow. Sanae’s face turns beet red as if she remembered something incredibly embarrassing and hides her face with her hands.
Hey, why does that sound so familiar…?

“L-let’s just enjoy today while we still can! Let‘s go!” She says this hurriedly and grabs the small child by the hand and almost runs into the crowd of people gathered.

Oh wow, now that you think about it. There are a lot more people here than there were earlier today. You’re guessing that when you turned everything to night with thriller, everyone thought it really was a festival and they all started to gather. Well, its either that or something is causing the people to gather uncontrollably…

The sights and sounds of the “festival” really appeal to you. There are lights everywhere to compensate for the sudden change of day and there are a lot of fireworks being shot into the air. Hmm, didn’t Aya say something about Kappa or whatever being in charge of the fireworks? Plus the smell of food reminds you that, hey, you’re once again very hungry (and when are you ever NOT hungry?). At the thought of food, you suddenly remember your long lost friend, booze.
Oh booze, where did you go wrong?

HANG ON, do you really have time for booze, revelry, and booze? You were supposed to chase Sanae down and…oh.
Sanae’s gone.

You really need to focus on your priorities.

Well, you would love to go back to your family and friends, but you have no idea how to navigate through the bamboo forest back to Eientei. You don’t feel like getting lost in that horrible place and would rather not go back there anytime soon. Plus, the festival is calling to you…specifically, you hear a group of people chanting, “Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!!!” a short distance away with lots of cheering and manly laughter. Ugh, so tempting…

[x] Let’s go wet our whistle, shall we?
[x] Mmm, hungry…
[x] Wait a minute, you’re really curious about those fireworks.
[x] Well, let’s not make this a futile trip. Go find Sanae dammit.
[x] Stand there like a dope and wait for Aya or someone you know to find you.

[x] Well, let’s not make this a futile trip. Go find Sanae dammit.

>you're in the middle of the human village again.
HUZZAH!

[x] Let’s go wet our whistle, shall we?
Here's hoping we find a small horned girl.

[x] Let’s go wet our whistle, shall we?

We need beer to restore our ego, which is what we consider our health.

[X] Well, let’s not make this a futile trip. Go find Sanae dammit.

Our business isn't concluded yet.

[X] Well, let’s not make this a futile trip. Go find Sanae dammit.

Anon reminds me of a retarded, puppy with ADHD

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE!

[x]Go find Sanae.

Attention span of a hyperactive ferret, Anon. Ugh.

[X] Well, let’s not make this a futile trip. Go find Sanae dammit.

The thing about Anon's targeting system is that the rare times it's actual working, it has the wrong target.

[x]This is a festival, right? And festivals have games.
-[x]Go play every single festival game.
I can't believe we just left Yuuka there. Do you guys realize how many days it will take for her to catch up?

[x] Well, let’s not make this a futile trip. Go find Sanae dammit.

You, despite all the wonderful and fun distractions, try to push forwards to find Sanae.

“Prime rib eye steak! Getchyer rib eye steak here!”
“Step on up and try my test of strength! The winner gets free whiskey and ribs all night!
“Fresh funnel cakes! Real cheap!”

My god, what is wrong with you? You can’t believe that you’re avoiding all this wonderful stuff just for one girl. Granted, you don’t have any money, but some of these things can be won by playing silly games!
Silly games!
You love silly games!
At least, you love silly games when the prize is delicious food.
Whatever, you’ll find stupid Sanae, THEN you’ll enjoy the festival/market day.

You continue to wade through the crowd while grumbling to yourself and you search for another 30 minutes before you stumble across a drinking competition. You can’t really see the competitors, but you know it’s a drinking contest from how everyone’s shouting about drinking and such. You are naturally drawn to this event and you manage to elbow your way through several lines of husky and burly men all the way to the front. You see a huge bearded man with a massive belly sitting at a table in the center of the crowd and he’s looking quite ill. Across from him is a little girl with strange curled horns growing out of her head and striking orange hair. There are chains hanging from her wrists and the back of her ponytail, but surprisingly, that’s not the strangest thing about her. The strangest thing is the fact that she’s somehow managing to out drink this whale of a man and that she’s laughing the entire time.

“C’mon! C’mon! You can go another round, can’t ya?”

She continues to taunt the big bearded man as he just simply blinks at her and mumbles something unintelligible. The little girl pours some unknown (but presumably) hard liquor into his shot with a gourd she has hanging from her belt. She pours herself a shot of the stuff and easily gulps it down as the bearded man just sits there and looks as his drink disdainfully. He takes it, looks at it some more for a few more seconds, then in one motion he tips his head back to drink it and continues backwards in his chair and falls flat on his back. The crowd erupts in cheers as the little girl takes another swig from her gourd. Then a much larger (and certainly much larger chest wise) blonde woman steps out of the crowd, raises the winner’s hand and announces her victory. You can’t help but notice that she also has a horn, but only a single, red one with a star on it growing directly out of her forehead.

“Anyone else want to go up against Suika? Are any of you man enough to challenge her to a drinking contest?” The blonde woman announces to the crowd as you can hear them muttering excuses.

“Oh come on! She’s already beaten 10 people in a row! Maybe she’s at her limit?”

Another murmur goes through the crowd as they don’t believe what she’s saying.

“Yeah right, Suika and Yuugi come by every market day to show off their drinking skills.” You hear one guy say, “Only the new guys and the foolish ones challenge them to a drinking contest.”

Ah well, that’s nice to hear. Back to searchin…wait a minute…

Directly across from where you are, on the other side of the circle of people viewing the drinking contest, you see Sanae standing there with Suwako eating some kind of cotton candy. Its about damn time you found them!

“You’re all a bunch of pussies! Are you all saying that you’re afraid of a little girl?!” Yuugi roars out at the crowd (probably drunk herself) and everyone but you nods at her. You suddenly see your target start to leave the crowd of people. Oh shit! She’s gonna get away if you don’t catch her now!

You try to run through the middle of the crowd of people and past Yuugi but, as you do, she wraps her arm around your neck and drags you towards her with incredible strength!

“Ah ha! I knew there was a man amongst you! So, tough guy, you think you can out drink Suika?” She squeezes you against her bountiful chest and, god, it’s a wonderful sensation…

No, wait! You don’t have time to be screwing around! You tell her to let you go because you have more important business to attend to.

“Aww, come on big boy, you afraid of poor little Suika over here?” She gestures to her drunken little friend who just sits there and gives you a drunken, “hiiiii~”.

You struggle against her powerful arm and you almost manage to get free, but she tightens her grip on your and holds you steadfast against her chest.

“Wow, you’re kinda strong, ain’tcha? How about this, you beat Suika and we’ll double the prize money, if you lose, well, you won’t lose more than what you put down, deal? Come on, I just doubled the prize for no extra cost! What have you got to lose?”

Well, Sanae for one thing, but you don’t have any money to gamble anyways. You focus all of your strength on your arms and you break her hold on you.

“Wow! You‘re really strong, huh?” You catch a glimmer in her eyes and a naughty smile crosses her face. “Let’s see just how manly you are. How about three different contests against the both of us? First one will be drinking, the second will be arm wrestling, and the third, should it come down to it, will be a good ol’ fight with our fists. First one to win two contests, wins the grand prize. What’s the prize? Well, the loser will have to obey the winner and do whatever they want.” She licks her lips in anticipation, “Hell, since there’s two of us, I’ll allow you to choose who you want to participate against. So do we have a deal?”

No dice, you turn around and start to walk away from them.

“What’s the matter…chicken?”

You stop for a second. Now you may not be the smartest, the best looking, or even the strongest person around, but nobody…NOBODY questions your bravery!

[x] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Yuugi, Suika>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Yuugi, Suika>
(Only one person per contest, meaning if Suika is drinking, then Yuugi will be arm wrestling and vice versa)
[x] Just take a hit to your manhood and get to Sanae.

[x] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Suika>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Yuugi>

YES. We shall best both oni at their respective strong suits, then raise an army of fanatics to combat Yukari. This plan is foolproof.

[x] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Yuugi>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Suika>

COME ON, JAGERMASTER JOE, BEAT THE ONIS! DO IT FOR GEORGE-Y BOY!
If you beat them, you might even get to have that silly gourd Suika has!

[x] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Yuugi>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Suika>

This way, since Yuugi already has some idea on our strength, we can Shock and Awe Suika with it, and do the same to Yuugi with our liquor capacity.

[X] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Yuugi>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Suika>

Can this story get even more over-the-top?

>Can this story get even more over-the-top?

Do you really need to ask?

[X] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Yuugi>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Suika>

>>23706
Once you've gone over the shark, the top is the next logical move.

>>23709
Are you frustrated?

>>23710
Nah, diff'rent strokes fer diff'rent folks.

But but... our family?

You guys suck

I'd piss against the tide but screw it.

[X] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Yuugi>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Suika>

>>23706
Time to travel back in time then.

[X] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Yuugi>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Suika>

And then Tenshi and our family shows up to find that we apparently left them behind to go get drunk and party with oni.

[x] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Suika>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Yuugi>
3. Fight <Yuugi>
Might as well put the fight option in, since its sure to come up.

>>23717
Nah, that'd be too preditable.

[X] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- <Yuugi>
2. Arm Wrestling- <Suika>

>>23717

No, no, they come back later than that, and find us with a whole new family. Or, alternate option, in a compromising position with both.

Worse, they might wait for us. And with Anon's typical attention span...

[x] “Nobody calls me chicken, Yuugi! Nobody!”
1. Drinking contest- Yuugi
2. Arm wrestling- Suika


Alright then, she’s on. You haven’t had a drink in a long time, but she’d be a damn fool to challenge you to a drinking contest. You choose Yuugi as your first challenger and she gladly accepts.

“Pahahahaha! I didn’t think you’d really accept! Well then, let’s have a drink, shall we?”

Yuugi pushes Suika off of her chair (who then rolls along the ground in a giggly stupor) she sits down waiting for you. You sit right across from her and put on your best poker face as Suika suddenly gets up and gives you both a shot glass. Yuugi looks at it for a moment before tossing it backwards into the crowd.

“Naah, let’s ramp it up, shall we? Give us something bigger.”

Suika then, with the same pleasantly drunken face, pulls out two cups and places them before you. Yuugi once again inspects her cup and throws it backwards into the crowd again.

“Naaaaaah, bigger.”

Suika, once again, pulls out two 16 ounce beer mugs from out of nowhere (where is she getting those?) and sets them down in front of the both of you. Yuugi has an annoyed look on her face and tosses those away too.

“C’mon Suika, I want end this quickly and enjoy my prize. Bigger!”

Suika then pulls out two very ornate and very large beer steins and Yuugi finally has a satisfied look on her face. Hey, wait, are we drinking beer or…?

“Nope, we’re drinking sake from Suika’s gourd. We’re doing this oni style.”

So…oni’s drink from beer steins?

“Not really, but I just like how fancy it looks. LETS US BEGIN!”

The crowd cheers as Suika pours some of her sake from the gourd into both of your steins. Oh shit, there’s probably a lethal amount of alcohol in this stein, but you’ll be DAMNED if you stop now!
The both of you tilt back your drinks and down it in one go. You both finish your drink at the same time and you stare at each other for a bit. Goddamn that was rough…

“Damn man, that’s not natural. Are you sure you’re human?”

What’s the matter Yuugi? Not feeling so sure of yourself? You taunt her despite feeling quite unwell from consuming a large amount of alcohol in a very short amount of time.

“Grr, we’ll see about that. When I win, I’ll show you how rough oni lovin’ can be.”

Suika pours another round for the both of you and you say a quick little prayer and before drinking your poison. You both finish at the same time, but you’re not feeling too well. Ugh, who’s bright idea was it to drink sake out of beer steins?

“Wow, you’re a pretty tough guy. You drink sake and doesn’t afraid of anything, y’know?”

Yuugi’s speech is starting to get slurred and scrambled and you’re probably not any better off than she is. Despite your incredible endurance, you start feeling sick as your body rejects the vast amount of alcohol you consumed. Hell, where is it all even going?? You wouldn’t be surprised if you already consumed a gallon of alcohol…

“C’mon, c’mon, one more, let’s keep going. Don’t stop now…”

You can tell Yuugi’s absolutely wasted by now, and you are as well…You’re pretty sure no human, oni…thing could consume an entire gallon of liquid in a sitting (let alone a gallon of alcohol), so you’re not so sure about this…

[x] DRINK! GO, GO, GO!
[x] No, wait, drink it slowly.
[x] There’s gotta be something you can do… <insert solution here!>

[*]Jagermaster and Shock and Awe
-[*]Grope Yuugi while chugging straight from Suika's gourd.

Yeah I got nothin. Let's go out in a blazing glory!

[*]Jagermaster and Shock and Awe
[*] Drink straight from the guord while shaking Yuugi's head by her horn.

Talk about love handle

[x] No, wait, drink it slowly.

Take it easy, okay~?

[X] Channel the power of THOR (or Jagermaster, which ever is cooler), the God of Thunder, AND CHUG THAT GOURD DOWN UNTIL THE SEAS START DRAINING!
[X] Do it while doing the Captain Morgan pose, with Yuugi as your step.

WE CAN DO IT! THE SEAS WILL DRAIN AND THERE WILL BE UNTOLD DROUGHTS EVERYWHERE!

X] Channel the power of THOR AND CHUG THAT GOURD DOWN UNTIL THE SEAS START DRAINING!
[X] Do it while doing the Captain Morgan pose, with Yuugi as your step.

Ah, what the hell. And screw you.

Only this once.

[X] Channel the power of THOR (or Jagermaster, which ever is cooler), the God of Thunder, AND CHUG THAT GOURD DOWN UNTIL THE SEAS START DRAINING!
[X] Do it while doing the Captain Morgan pose, with Yuugi as your step.

Has Joe succeeded in anything without it being crazy awesome to absurd proportions?

>>23729

The Wild Awesomeness
By some guy...
He wants to stop the awesomeness
But he can't
He walks, and when he walks awesomeness occurs.
It's his curse
It's his eternal curse
He wants to stop the awesomeness
IT'S HIS CURSE
IT'S HIS FUCKING CURSE!
HE WANTS TO STOP THE AWESOMNESS
PLEASE!
STOP THE AWESOMENESS
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gah, I need to stop listening to Sander Cohen.
I don't even know how this will end, but I know it will end somehow with awesomeness.

And maybe with an empty gourd.

[X] Channel the power of THOR (or Jagermaster, which ever is cooler), the God of Thunder, AND CHUG THAT GOURD DOWN UNTIL THE SEAS START DRAINING!
[X] Do it while doing the Captain Morgan pose, with Yuugi as your step.

Just hope we dont end up sleeping with any of the Oni cause of this. Mind you thats only cause Yuuka will catch up....eventually.

[X] Channel the power of THOR (or Jagermaster, which ever is cooler), the God of Thunder, AND CHUG THAT GOURD DOWN UNTIL THE SEAS START DRAINING!
[X] Do it while doing the Captain Morgan pose, with Yuugi as your step.

We have the Badass trait. If we die, it will be in a badass way. Alcohol poisoning won't even factor. An epic duel with Yuggi that lasts 30 days and forty nights while the both of you are drunk out of your minds will be the proper way to go at this moment if it involves alcohol.

>>23731

Better hope we win then, because Yuugi explicitly said she would do just that if we lose.

> When I win, I’ll show you how rough oni lovin’ can be.

[X] Channel the power of THOR (or Jagermaster, which ever is cooler), the God of Thunder, AND CHUG THAT GOURD DOWN UNTIL THE SEAS START DRAINING!
[X] Think about the consequences of losing... will you cheat on your dear wife again?

>>23734

Technically, it's not cheating as more so rape.
Hey, don't look at me like that, men can get raped too.
Then again, like Yuuka would even think that's possible...
Yeah. Joe better win this one. I don't know how Joe will appease Yuuka if we lost.

[x] Captain Morgan and Thor option.
I'm flabbergasted. I mean, what the hell...

[x] Channel the power of THOR (or Jagermaster, which ever is cooler), the God of Thunder, AND CHUG THAT GOURD DOWN UNTIL THE SEAS START DRAINING!

(I like how you guys, instead of going for strategic victory, went straight for going down in a BLAZE OF GLORY. Now I owe someone money for losing a bet, thanks guys.)


Its clear that you’re out of your drunken mind as you start ranting and cursing at everyone and everything.
Know what? FUCK dis shit, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone! FUCK this contest! FUCK this booze! FUCK Sanae!

“Fuck me too?” Yuugi says slurred and hopefully.

NO

You stand up, grab Suika’s gourd and begin to chug it nonstop against all common sense. You then stumble on towards the crowd where you see a frightened Iku who looks absolutely terrified at your approach. You reach down, grab her by the ankles, and start swinging her around like some kind of Awesome Iku war hammer. She, of course, freaks out and a giant dark cloud forms overhead and starts shooting lightning everywhere. You get struck by lightning and all of the electricity converges on your face and the top of your head to form a mighty Viking beard and mighty Viking hair, braided and everything. The crowd stands back in total awe as they witness the visage of the mighty god of drinking, lightning, and POWER. You stop chugging for a moment to see a girly bard man strumming a lute and playing a girly bard song. You smack him with Iku and he changes his song to one that is significantly more manly…BUT NOT MANLY ENOUGH. You smack him again and the lightning starts to get to him as his lute turns an ELECTRIC guitar. You hit him a couple more times with your WAR IKU and he begins to play “Thunderstruck” By AC/DC as his Electric guitar turns into an electric MANtar. The bard’s beard begins to immediately grow out as the lightning gave him a mighty boost to his testosterone and he joins your mighty electric Viking ranks as he plays the awesome solo from the beginning of the song!

“FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, are you okay?” You see a familiar person standing above you with long crumpled bunny ears. Hey wait, where are you? Your head hurts like a bitch and you’re apparently laying down somewhere near the table where you had that drinking contest…
OH SHIT! What happened?

“Well, I saw you in the distance causing a ruckus and at first I didn’t recognize you, what with all lightning and all. You started swinging Iku around while the bard nearby was playing a strange tune on his lute. You then threw her into the crowd as you grabbed Suika and started French kissing her while drinking out of her gourd at random intervals. Then you threw her into the crowd as well as you grabbed the bard, broke him in half, threw him into the crowd, and then started playing strange music with his lute. You then broke the lute in half, threw it into the crowd, and started to break dance on the table. Of course you slipped and fell down from the table and everyone was too afraid to go near you. I came to the village to sell the last of the medicine Eirin gave me as a farewell gift and that’s when I saw you in your rampage. Alcohol poisoning is common in the human village, so Eirin came up with the cure a long time ago and its been popular since then, so I used it to purge all the alcohol from your body, thus reviving you right now.”

Oh, thanks Reisen.
So…uh…did you win?

“Um, the drinking contest? I don’t think so. I’m fairly certain that the first person to give up or black out loses, so…I’m sorry.”

DAMN! Well, what about your little bard buddy?

“Who, Iku? She’s a fairly hardy Youkai, so apart from some physical and mental trauma, she should be fine.”

No, no. The bard. Your little electric Viking buddy.

“What bard?”

The bard you apparently broke in half. The bard whose lute you…looted?

“I’m fairly certain that there never was a bard and that I never mentioned anything about a bard ever.”

…Fine.
Rest in peace Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the fifth. You never knew his real name, but may he find solace knowing that you gave him a name worthy of any electric Viking.

Yuugi stumbles on over to you and gives you a hearty laugh. She then falls down and lays on top of your fallen body as she whispers in her ear.

“So, you wanna keep struggling or do you want it now?” Her breath smells heavily of alcohol (as does yours, you’re sure) and she caresses your groin in anticipation.

No! You’re not done yet! In the name of Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the fifth, you will not lose this competition! You still have the arm wrestling match to do and you WILL win this time!

You roughly push Yuugi off of you and try to stand up, only to see that Yuugi has been replaced by a Suika.

“Nyahaha! That was a nice kiss! When we win, I’ll have to ask Yuugi if I can borrow you myself.”

You hate children. You push her off of you, stand up, pick her up, set her down in the chair at the table, and sit down opposite of her.

“Oooh, ready to lose so soon? Alright, I’m game!” Set sets her arm down on the table in arm wrestling position and you grab her tiny hand. She can’t be serious! She’s so tiny! What sick man sends baby to arm wrestle men?! Hey! you thought you would be arm wrestling men! Not leetle eety beety tiny baby!
You continue to mock her size and she just sits there and gives you a cheery smile.

[x] You’re not done mocking her! Keep it up until she stops smiling at you!
[x] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You’ve goofed off long enough.
[x] LEETLE TINY BABY SHOULD GO HOME!


Oh, and a single manly tear for Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the fifth. He’s in a happy place playing mighty Viking lute solos for the inhabitants of Valhalla…)

[x] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You’ve goofed off long enough.

Saw it coming.

And we have to deal with the picture matter before Tenshi gets any weird ideas of what daughters do with daddies.

>>23740
But not from far enough away.

[*]Use Boogeyman and focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You’ve goofed off long enough.

I honestly never expected my write-in to snowball-evolve into something so absurdly awesome. Failure be damned, good job Twitty and Anon.

[X] Use your GODHAND and focus the SHIT out of this arm-wrestling match. YOU WILL NOT LOSE THE LITTLE, BABY GIRL!

SHOW THEM THE GLORY OF YOUR FLAMING FIST OF DESTRUCTION!

And sorry man, I'd repay you but I don't know how much you lost.

[x] No, use boogey man to focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You’ve goofed off long enough.


Can we keep the beard? :(

[X] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You’ve goofed off long enough.
-[X] By equipping GODHAND!

[x] No, use boogey man to focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You’ve goofed off long enough.
Goodnight Sweet Prince

[X] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You’ve goofed off long enough.
-[X] By equipping GODHAND!

I saw this coming. I tried, Hat. I tried. But I could not save your bet which I did not know about.

[X] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You ’ve goofed off long enough.
-[X] By equipping GODHAND!

You know, it occurs to me that awesome stuff only happens when we submit write ins that go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb.

I hereby postulate that Joe is actually the reincarnation of Kamina.

Now, on a similar note, something tells me we're gonna need one hell of a write in to top our last one. But I can't think of anything, so...

[X] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You ’ve goofed off long enough.
-[X] By equipping GODHAND!
-[x] AND JAGERMASTER AS WELL!

>>23754
there's also a good chance of making more messes to clean up afterwards when we try stuff like that.

>>23754

There's a fine line between Crazy Awesome and Too Dumb to Live. The mushroom crossed that line. Everything else was crazy awesome, even if the most recent one did involve us losing to Yuugi. Totally worth it, though, for what happened.

[X] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You ’ve goofed off long enough.
-[X] By equipping GODHAND!
-[x] AND JAGERMASTER AS WELL!
-[X] AND BOOGEYMAN! LET'S BLOW UP THAT TABLE!

[X] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You ’ve goofed off long enough.
-[X] By equipping GODHAND!
-[x] AND JAGERMASTER AS WELL!
-[X] AND BOOGEYMAN! LET'S BLOW UP THAT TABLE!

FUCK YEAH

[X] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You ’ve goofed off long enough.
-[X] By equipping GODHAND!
-[x] AND JAGERMASTER AS WELL!
-[X] AND BOOGEYMAN! LET'S BLOW UP THAT TABLE!

Amending my previous vote. WE SHALL WIN THIS CONTEST OR BLOW UP THE TABLE TRYING.

[X] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You ’ve goofed off long enough.
There's always Vainilla.

[x] No, focus on the damned arm wrestling match. You’ve goofed off long enough.
-[x] By equipping GODHAND!


You stare Suika down and she simply hums uncaringly back at you, as if there’s no contest between the two of you. Yuugi places her hand over the both of yours and looks at both of you.

“Aight, Suika, easy win. Oh and guy I just met…“

She points her finger at you and says,
“Tonight…
You…”

She gives you a horrible smile that just screams “imma rape you”, but you shake the horrible feeling out of your head and focus on the match.

Yuugi stops pointing and explains the rules to the both of you
“Alright, whoever’s hand touches the table or pulls their hand away first loses. Got it?”

Suika gives a lackadaisical, “Mmmhmm~” and you simply nod back at Yuugi.

“Okay, ready…”

Suika has one last, “hmmhmmhmm~…” before all the drunken happiness is gone from her face, only to be replaced by a completely serious and not at all child like expression. This catches you off guard, but you manage to recover right when Yuugi shouts, “GO!” and lifts her hand off of yours, thus starting the match.

Suika immediately gains the advantage and your hand is brought dangerously close to the table before you manage to recover yourself in time and stop her advance. You were taken completely by surprise by how incredibly strong this little girl is, but at least you didn’t do something like continue to taunt her or else the match would have been over already.

Now that she sees victory within her grasp, Suika puts on her happy, drunken face and laughs at you childishly. “Nyahaha! I’m not even trying! You’re pretty strong, but you’re still no match for an oni!”

Yuugi frowns at the fact that the match isn’t over yet and yells at her partner.
“Quit foolin’ around Suika and finish this! I want to enjoy my prize!”

You start to panic because its taking all of your strength just to keep her from slamming your hand into the table, and you’re not even sure if she is even putting pressure on your hand anymore.
“Alright, Alright, I was just showing off a little that’s all.” Suika says cheerfully to her partner.

“Okay Mr. guy…playtimes over.” Suika puts on her serious business face and an immense amount of pressure is put onto your hand. You focus everything you have on keeping her back and you actually manage to keep yourself from losing.

“Suika! I said stop fuckin’ around!” Yuugi’s getting incredibly impatient and starts to shout.

“Grrrr! What the fuck! C’mon…!” Suika’s serious face turns angry as your hand isn’t yielding to her strength, but it feels like your arm is about to rip out of its socket.

“Fine then…How about this!” Suika’s arm suddenly starts to push down on yours, as if it was slowly getting heavier and heavier. The look on your face says it all and Suika starts to laugh menacingly.

“I’ll admit that you’re amazingly strong for a human but, in the end, you’re no match for an oni!” You’re right on the verge of losing until you get a brilliant idea. Suika’s face turns from triumphant gloating to absolute horror as your hand, as well as hers, suddenly and spontaneously catches fire! It starts to burn her, but of course you’re not effected as you activated Godhand.

“Ah?! Ah! Fire! FIRE! FIRE!” Suika quickly withdraws her hand and starts to shake it as if she just placed her hands on a hot stove.

“HEY! You cheated! You can’t do that!” Yuugi grabs you by the shoulders and lifts you high into the air, obviously frustrated that the competition is still going on and you’re not in bed with her. She starts to shake you, up and down, but Reisen speaks up in your defense.

“Yeah, but Suika was obviously using her powers to manipulate the density of her hand. So she cheated first!” Huh? Suika can manipulate density? That’s broken as all hell!
Yuugi is pissed right the fuck off at this accusation, but she doesn’t deny it. She walks over to Reisen and towers above her (yeah, she’s actually a lot bigger than poor little Reisen, and she’s even a little bigger than you) menacingly. She smirks at your defender, picks her up by the collar, and brings her up to her own level.

“So, your a brave little bunny huh? The fuck you think you doin’ interruptin’ our match? You got something’ for this human? You wanna fuck ‘im or something? Well that’s just too bad, cause now you fucked up. I would have let you if you just asked me after I won, but now you ain’t gonna get any of him, aight?”

You stand up, walk over to Yuugi, and punch her right in the gut. The suddenness of it all makes Yuugi lose her grip on Reisen and lean over in pain. You bring your face close to hers and tell her that its time for round 3. She sees how serious you are and stands straight up laughing again.

“Bahahaha! What, you got something for that little bunny? Aww, its gonna be sweet when I fuck your brains out and make her watch as well.”

Well no, that’s not it. You just don’t like her bullying Reisen after all she’s been through. Yuugi’s laughter slowly dies away and she asks you, “Aight, who you wanna fight then? C’mon, choose me, I wanna bring you down myself.” She cracks her knuckles very loudly and anticipates the fight to come…as well as the event after the fight.

Well, you wanna kick Yuugi’s ass, but it seems like you haven’t seen her full potential yet. Suika’s got that bullshit manipulation of density power and it looks quite dangerous…

[x] Fight Yuugi. You want to take her down a level yourself.
[x] Fight Suika. She’s got such a tiny body, maybe she can’t take too much punishment.
[x] Pfft, you can take them both on. LUNATIC MODE, GO!

>>23749
>>23743
Don't worry, I got my money back from you guys actually making an intelligent choice instead of an awesome but spectacularly poor choice.

>>23755
Well here's how it generally works. If I can't decide the outcome of something, I use a random die roll to determine whether you win or not. In this case, you rolled badly for all three competitions, so I decided to give you a chance and make a decision on the outcome. The first one had only ONE right decision with a possible write in victory if you used logic (which you didn't). The second one also had only one right decision, but not only was it quite obvious, you actually wrote in something awesome that could work! Now, I'm not saying that you SHOULDN'T write in something awesome, but I have a set condition for you to meet, so even though you write in FLAMING DUAL GUITAR BATTLE TO THE DEATH WHILE SOARING TO MOUNT OLYMPUS ON A MIGHTY WHITE STEED MADE OF TESTOSTERONE AND WHISKEY when the real solution was just to talk to her or something...then yeah, not gonna work.

>>23744
Oh, almost forgot about you.
It depends on if you win or not.

[X] Fight Yuugi. You want to take her down a level yourself.
[X] Try to punch her horn off.
[X] Also punch her in the uterus.

[x] Fight Yuugi. You want to take her down a level yourself.

Losing to a woman is better than losing to a little girl. Plus this has a higher chance of sexy results.

[x] Fight Yuugi. You want to take her down a level yourself.
[x] Keep using Godhand. Flaming fists works wonder against long hair.
Yuugi can't manipulate her own destiny, right? So perhaps she'll actually be easier than cheating little Oni girl Suika.

[*] Pfft, you can take them both on. LUNATIC MODE, GO!
-[*]Use Godhand and Moonwalker. Make sure these oni learn when to Beat It.

This will totally work guys.

[*] Pfft, you can take them both on. LUNATIC MODE, GO!
-[*]Use Godhand and Moonwalker. Make sure these oni learn when to Beat It.
- Lots of Hokuto Shinken use and pressure point usage. How can you move or punch when you cant control yourself?!

[x] Yuugi alone
-[x]Use Godhand to feint (she already knows it) and to burn her hair.
-[x] Moonwalker. To catch her off-balance
-[x] Lots of Hokuto Shinken use and pressure point usage. How can you move or punch when you cant control yourself?!
Brain>Brawn

[x] Yuugi alone
-[x]Use Godhand to feint (she already knows it) and to burn her hair.
-[x] Moonwalker. To catch her off-balance
-[x] Lots of Hokuto Shinken use and pressure point usage. How can you move or punch when you cant control yourself?!

This reasoning is sound. Let us dance and punch and poke our way to ultimate victory!

Durp, i'm just gonna use everything good at once.

[x] Fight Yuugi. You want to take her down a level yourself.
-[x] Hakuto Shinken
--[x] If hands are still on fire, put it in their mouths, alchohol is flamable.

Let's use logic a bit : picking Suika will probably ends up with both onis attacking us, so no.
Going Lunatic mode?...That could be an idea, but we're the middle of the festival. We'll just make us more trouble.
So, guess we'd better have to fight yuugi.

[x] Yuugi alone
-[x]Use Godhand to feint (she already knows it) and to burn her hair.
-[x] Moonwalker. To catch her off-balance
-[x] Lots of Hokuto Shinken use and pressure point usage. How can you move or punch when you cant control yourself?!
-[x]if all else fails, try to punch her in the mouth and make that alcohol breath catch fire.

[x] Yuugi alone
-[x]Use Godhand to feint (she already knows it) and to burn her hair.
-[x] Moonwalker. To catch her off-balance
-[x] Lots of Hokuto Shinken use and pressure point usage. How can you move or punch when you cant control yourself?!
-[x]if all else fails, try to punch her in the mouth and make that alcohol breath catch fire.

> try to punch her in the mouth and make that alcohol breath catch fire.

Lets not do that. Don't want to give her a flame thrower.

[x] Yuugi alone
-[x]Use Godhand to feint (she already knows it) and to burn her hair.
-[x] Moonwalker. To catch her off-balance
-[x] Lots of Hokuto Shinken use and pressure point usage. How can you move or punch when you cant control yourself?!

You guys know he'll prolly omit anything that's "use every super power you have". It defeats the purpose of needing to choose wisely

[*] Pfft, you can take them both on. LUNATIC MODE, GO!
-[*]Use Godhand and Moonwalker. Make sure these oni learn when to Beat It.
Have we used Beat it before? I don't want to repeat songs.

>>23776
No no, Hat is a die-roller. Likely the writefag has determined what each choice will result in and will use the write-in simply to determine the action.

[x] Fight Yuugi. You want to take her down a level yourself.
[x] Lots of Hokuto Shinken Pressure point usage. How can you move or punch when you can’t control yourself?!


“Good! I’ve been wanting to take you down myself! Besides, I can’t trust Suika to do anything useful anyways.” Yuugi bitch slaps the table and chairs (with one slap mind you) into the crowd of people who is steadily growing larger to watch the fight between the human and the oni.

“HEY! His hand caught fire! How was I supposed to defend against that?!” Suika shouts in outrage over her “unfair” loss.

“I told you to end it quickly and look what happened. Just shut up and watch me do my work. If I’m in a good mood, I’ll let you get second dibs after I’m done with him.”
Suika purses her lips in anger, but just grabs one the chairs from the crowd and sits in it. She also takes a swig from her gourd, but is no longer jolly.

“Alright then tough guy, first one to get knocked out or give up loses, aight? No magic or any of that bullshit, just good ol’ fashion fighting.” Yuugi tells you the rules about the fight while she gets herself a set distance away from you. No magicky kind of stuff huh? Fine by you.

“Hey, you know its not too late to forfeit. I’ll be gentle if you do.”
Pfft, what? Is she suddenly afraid of you? You tease her and she simply shrugs.
“Okay~ Suika, start the match.” Yuugi stands there across from you with her eye on the prize. You get into a defensive stance and prepare for her attack. You would say that she’s about 3 fairly decent sized steps away from you, plenty of time for you to react to any attack.
Suika sits there in the chair and crosses her arms, almost as if she’s in deep contemplation on when to start the match.
3 seconds pass…
5 seconds…
10 seconds…

The crowd begins to murmur and you hear someone shout “Place your bets here!” and the crowd suddenly swarms with activity.

“Give me 10 on the oni! This guy’s toast!”
“5 on the oni! 5 on the oni!”
“Oi! 25 on the lady with the huge rack!”

Jeeze, doesn’t any of these people believe in you?

“My lady, should we wager on the oni?”
“No, put it all on the human.”
“A-are you sure milady?”
“Do you doubt me?”
“N-no, of course not…”

Her small, delicate voice, for some reason, stands out from the cacophony of the crowd and you’re happy that at least SOMEONE has some sort of faith on you.
Suika suddenly shouts. “GO!” and Yuugi springs into action.

“Here…”
She takes one large step towards you.

“I…”
She takes another large step towards you.

”COME!”
She suddenly takes a HUGE lunge forward and her arms goes back for a deadly haymaker.

You were completely prepared for an attack like this and you easily side step her attack. It’s time to play with her a bit…
You manage to hit her three times with lightning fast punches after you sidestep her attack and she stumbles a bit after realizing how fast you really are.

“Huh? What was that? Did you hit me? Pfffhahahahahaha! You may be fast, but you can’t hurt me one bit!” Well, you didn’t exactly pull your punches, that’s not the reason why you hit her.

“Alright stay still for a bit and I’ll make this quick.” She prepares to throw another punch but she suddenly stops as her eyes dim.

“W-what the hell’s going on?? Hey! I can’t see! Y-you’re cheating! You’re not supposed to do magic!”
Yuugi panics and starts to swing her fists around wildly as she’s now completely blind.
You explain to her that you didn’t cast any magic, but simply pressed her Domei pressure point, causing her to go blind. No magic involved, and its completely fair. The crowd cheers at your cleverness, but it’s a hollow cheer as you’re winning and none of them bet on you.

“You bastard! I’ll kill you!” She swings her fists towards the direction of your voice, but you easily sidestep it again (she’s strong, but incredibly slow) and punch her a few more times in the face.

“I may be blind, but I can barely feel your weak punches! You can’t hurt me, I’m invincible!”
Oh, okay then let‘s find out how invincible she really is. She stops wildly swinging and instead tries a more tactical approach, she stands there and listens for any movement (which is completely idiotic as there’s a huge group of people around you generating a lot of sound from all the cheering and shouting). You sneak up right behind her and blow gently into her ear.

“Aaahh?!” She recoils from you and holds her hand up to her ear, but she quickly pulls her hand away as her nerves are now hypersensitive.
“What did you do this time…?” Her loud cursing suddenly drops to a whisper as you can feel fear rising in her voice. Seieiko, you explain yet again, Opening of Sharper Senses. As she can probably guess, her nervous system is now hypersensitive. A gust of wind suddenly blows and she gasps in shock. She tries to hold herself in her arms, but the sensation is too much to bear, so she simply stands there and shivers. What’s the matter Yuugi? Not feeling so invincible now, huh? She doesn’t respond to your taunt and simply stands there staring (but not seeing) at you. You grab her arm and she gasps again and swings her arm around, thus throwing you in that direction. You land on the ground with a loud thud and you quickly get up and rethink your plan. Okay, she’s blind and hypersensitive, but she’s still got that massive strength. You don’t like beating up on women (Yukari excluded), so you’ll just make her forfeit. Plus, it’d be more satisfying that way. The crowd grows silent and Suika sits there and watches uncaringly as everyone else anticipates what you’re going to do next.

You walk up to her and punch her twice more in the face. She resists the urge to scream in pain and just grunts. She stumbles back a few steps and suddenly her eyes light up again as her sight is restored. You tell her that you’re not going to beat her into submission, but you’re going to make her forfeit the match herself.

“S-so you think restoring my sight is gonna help you win? Fat chance, I’m never going to submit to you!” She tries ignore the pain and lunge at you again, but she simply stands there confused.
“Awww what the fuck now??” Her arms suddenly lift and go spread eagle and her legs are about shoulder width apart. She looks almost like the Vitruvian man, but with some minor differences…
“Fuckin’…I can’t move…!” You can see her try to struggle, but she simply stands there and makes a strained face.

You slowly walk up to her and she looks at you with contempt and fear as you reach out your hand and softly caress her cheek.
“Naaaaagh! Stop that!”
You tell her to forfeit the match and you’ll return everything back to normal, but she simply spit’s a curse at you.
Fine then.
You run your hand along the side of her neck and slowly down to her chest area. She flinches and trembles with the incredible sensation, but doesn’t fight back as she can’t. You’re not going to torture her, but you do love irony, so you’ll just torture her with the pleasure she seeks.
“Wait…why did you restore my eyesight?” She asks you this and you stop your hand for a moment to answer her. Because you want her to witness her own humiliation at the hands of a human in front of a large crowd is all.

You tell her once again to give up and she stays silent this time, her eyes betray no emotion, probably to resist what you’re about to do to her. It looks like she’s going to struggle stubbornly to the very end.
Hmm, the possibilities are limitless, but the “fight” (can it even be called a fight anymore when she’s so helpless?) isn’t over yet until she gives up…

[x] Hehe, play with her more “sensitive” areas.
[x] Tell her that if she doesn’t forfeit the match, you’ll give her to all the men in the crowd. (bluff check)
[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.
[x] You feel really bad about this. Forfeit the match yourself and free her from her ailments.

>>23778
Kind of. I use the die rolls if I really can't make up my mind on a matter, but a great write-in (or a stupid choice) will always override the die roll. Otherwise, you'd already be Yuugi's plaything. For example, I already determined that fighting Yuugi or Suika alone would result in a win, but fighting them BOTH at the same time would have resulted in a "bad end".

[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.

We've had our fun, we need to go after Sanae, anyway. She owes us a REAL miracle still.

[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.

Aren't we getting a bit carried away?

[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.

The first option is just asking for Yuuka to show up.

[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.

Avoiding consequences!

[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.

No we arent evil, she's learned her lesson. Even if Yuugi threaten us with rape, which if this was me it wouldnt be since im willing!, i just couldnt throw her to the crowd or molest her infront of them.

Also curious as to who the Lady is. Really sounds like it could be Remilia.

[x] >>23786

I don't quite care about Sanae at this point as I'd rather get to the root of that picture Tenshi has; a daughter shouldn't have such a thing. We can always swing by and harass Sanae some other time.

[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.

Optional:
[x] Equip Boogeyman and scare children in the audience.

Little shits should have talked their parents into betting on you.

Also,
Confidence dust, don't breath this!

[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.

[x] Hehe, play with her more “sensitive” areas.

As a representative.

[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.

Eh, not much fun torturing people.

[x] Naah, you’re not that evil. Just knock her out and get this stupid match over with.

Yeah, you think she’s had enough. She probably knows not to mess with you but is just too stubborn to acknowledge it. Welp, she had her chance to give up so…
You poke her right below the temples.

Yuugi flinches at your sudden movement and prepares herself for intense pain, but it never happens as she quickly fades from consciousness. You catch her in your arms and poke her a few times to remove all of her status ailments. The crowd all groans from disappointment and begins to disperse as almost all of them lost their bet and didn‘t get to see any hawt gropage. You see two people (or actually, a woman and a child) still standing there and facing your direction. Suika sighs, and scratches her head.

“Ugh, this is embarrassing…Okay, so I’m assuming you didn’t do anything malevolent like kill her, so the win is yours. Alright, so what exactly do you want from us? We’ll give you the prize money if you want.” Hmm, what DO you want exactly? You didn’t do this for any prize that’s for sure…
Oh wait, you just jumped into this competition headfirst at great risk to your relationship with Yuuka, all because someone called you a chicken. Oh well, since you came out of this okay, its safe to say that this was totally worth it. Plus you get SOMETHING from two incredibly powerful onis, but what do you want from them?

“Ayayaya, I figured you were strong, but I never knew you could challenge two oni to a competition of their own strengths and come out on top. I knew there was something special about you when I decided to follow you.” You mean stalked and then libeled in her newspaper? Hang on, if Aya’s here, then where’s everyone else?

“Well, Yuuka’s going home because she’s sleepy from the sudden onset of night and Marisa’s probably headed this way to enjoy the market day. It rarely ever goes on late at night and people are excited at the prospects of having a market night.” Okay then, what about Tenshi?

“Hmm, I don’t know actually. She said she was also very sleepy and wanted to go home, but I told her that she should go check on you first. I had a feeling that you were headed to the human village, so I pointed her in the right direction and she flew away. Oh! Did I mention I got some great pics of Mokou and Kaguya fighting? Its gonna look gre-” You abruptly cut her off and scold her that you sent Tenshi off on a HUNCH when she didn’t actually know where you were.

“Well, gee, my intuition is very rarely wrong and, lo and behold, you are here, so no harm done, right?” You question as to why Yuuka left her unattended and Aya gives you a very simple response.
“She made a very good point when she said that she knew where I live, so yeah, I’m not gonna do anything wrong. I like my house and my body just the way it is, thank you.”
Not well enough if she sends Tenshi out on intuition like that. It was her intuition that got you guys lost in the bamboo forest.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry, okay? Man, you’re so worked up lately, its as if you had to fight for your life a couple times today.”
…
You just stare at her coldly and she quickly adds,
“Look, this is a rare event (caused by you might I add) so let’s just enjoy this market night together, mkay? I’ll show you around and we can talk about that article I’m writing about you…” She sidles up close to you and bats her eyes.

Uhh, is she asking you out on a date? She does know that you’re married/engaged, right? (Why is it that all sorts of women are suddenly attracted to you? Well yeah, you haven’t seen any men other than the ominous Rinnosuke, but there HAS to be some other strong men like you in Gensokyo). You cautiously back away from the advancing tengu and you tell her that you’ll be fine on your own.

“Oh come on, Its not like I’m asking you out or anything. We could just…you know…hang out…” She continues to side towards you, staring into your eyes the entire time, but you continue backing up until a young girl’s voice stops you.
Man, you hate children.

“Excuse me, may I solicit a bit of your time please? I have a proposition for you.”

Hmm, maybe you don’t hate children so much. You use this query as an excuse to get away from Aya and she just crosses her arms and pouts a little bit. You turn to the one who propositioned you and you see, as expected, a small child. Unexpectedly, you see her with bat wings growing out of her back and to her side is a very elegant maid showing no expression. Why is it that everyone in Gensokyo always looks normal, but has some sort of catch to offset this normality?

“Ah yes, I believe introductions are in order.” She gives you a very polite curtsy and her, you’re assuming, servant bows too. “My name is Remilia Scarlet and this is my head maid, Sakuya Izayoi. I noticed that everything suddenly turned to night, and when I ventured outside to investigate this occurrence, I came across your crude display of manhood against those two oni. Now you look like a very capable man to me, one who is able to handle a variety of situations, so I wish to formally invite you to my castle for some tea and a job offering. I assure you that you’ll most certainly be pleased with your payment, especially since you had so much trouble trying to pin down Yukari and get your vengeance.”

Whoa wait, WHAT? How does she know about that?

“Fufu, I figured that she’d get herself into a lot of trouble one of these days, and I’m not exactly her biggest fan. Yukari’s meddling is becoming quite the annoyance, and if you manage to punish her, then I wouldn’t mind helping you out a bit. If you wish to discuss this any further, then I’ll be at my castle waiting for you. I believe people are staring at me quite rudely and I don‘t wish their company.”

You look around, and its true that there are many eyes upon you and Remilia, probably because you defeated two incredibly powerful beings at their own game and now Remilia’s…recruiting you? Whatever, you’ll be sure to keep that in mind though. You need any help you can get to bring down Yukari and you figure that her payment will be Yukari’s whereabouts.

Both Remilia and Sakuya start walking away in the distance and leaves you standing there with Aya, Suika, and an unconscious Yuugi.

“Uhn, did I win?” Yuugi begins to stir and blinks a few times while rubbing her head. Wow, she recovered quite fast. “Oh man, did we have sex? My body feels funny…” Yuugi looks at you confusedly and blinks a few more times.

“Nah, you lost. Now we owe this guy something.” Suika says with an annoyed tone and Yuugi’s eyes widen as she scrambles to her feet.

“No way! There’s no way you could have beaten me! C’mon, let’s go another round! I’ll take you down!”
Yuugi brings her fists up, but Suika just takes another swig from her gourd and shakes her head.

“No, you lost Yuugi. He knocked you out, and an oni never lies. So what do you want from us?” Suika starts drinking from her gourd, but Yuugi (who at first was distraught) has other ideas. She walks right up to you and presses her huge breasts right up against your chest.

“Hey, you won, so don’t you want something more than money? C’mon, you want these magnificent tits, right? They feel a lot better than they look I assure. Don’t you want to ravish me? I wouldn’t mind giving you a good time.” Its okay Yuugi, you already know she wouldn’t mind that.

“Hey, hey, hey! Back off, he’s already married!” Aya pushes Yuugi away, grabs onto your arm, and holds you awkwardly close to her. Hey Aya, they’ll misunderstand if you do that…

Yuugi is completely undeterred by this and she just snuggles up close to you and Aya.
“Don’t worry, I don’t mind a little company…”
Whoa, kinky, but not what you’re looking for.

(THREE DECISION TIME! So you get to make three votes! One for what you want from the onis, another is a trait for defeating said onis, and the last is what to do afterwards…
Oh, and something significant DOES happen for every one of the third choices, so don’t be so quick to overlook some)

Hmm, what should your prize be?
[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] THAT GOURD. NOW.
[x] Prize money! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
[x] Nah, showing off and proving yourself against them was enough of a prize for you.
[x] Hmm, accept Yuugi’s offer…

Huh, you feel some hidden potential being unlocked inside of you.
[x] Summon: Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the Fifth.
[x] Minor Flight- You can dash through the air for a brief amount of tim. Doesn’t seem to handy…
[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.
[x] Minor Time Manipulation- Your reflexes are boosted to give the illusion of slowed time.

Okay then, what should you do now?
[x] Well, you’ve been mostly unfair to Aya. Maybe you should hang out with her a bit…
[x] To hell with Aya. Go to Remilia’s castle and see what she wants.
[x] Stay at the festival and look for Marisa/Tenshi.
[x] Just go rent a room at the nearest inn and sleep.
[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife. (warning! H-scene inbound! You have been warned!)

Fun fact: This is story post #69. Make of that what you will…

[x] Nah, showing off and proving yourself against them was enough of a prize for you.

No need for money or anything, and alcohol can be easily procured without the gourd.

[x] Summon: Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the Fifth.

YEESSS

[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife.

We should not ignore our wife.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Time Manipulation- Your reflexes are boosted to give the illusion of slowed time.
[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife. (warning! H-scene inbound! You have been warned!)

STAY ON TARGET

Hmm, what should your prize be?
[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.

Huh, you feel some hidden potential being unlocked inside of you.
[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.

Okay then, what should you do now?
[x] Stay at the festival and look for Marisa/Tenshi.

First our wife has plenty of boobage, and Joe could use their might in his crusade.

And as much as I'd like Yuuka Loving, I'd rather find Tenshi and straighten things out before something happens. But if the Yuuka option wins, I won't complain.

[*] THAT GOURD. NOW.
[*] Summon: Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the Fifth.
[*] Stay at the festival and look for Tenshi.

We are a good drunken father that will show our loving daughter the greatest electric viking rock concert of all time.

Also the Yuuka vote is giving me Teruyo vibes.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.

Seriously, those two are two of the devas, the strongest Onis. They're going to be very usefull in the future.

[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.

Being slow is not amusing. Let's try to compensate that for once.

[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife. (warning! H-scene inbound! You have been warned!)

Because an angry, lonely Yuuka is worse than an angry Remilia. We will pay her a visit later.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.
[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife. (warning! H-scene inbound! You have been warned!)

We promised our lovely wife some rough dickings.

Don't leave a lady waiting.

>(Why is it that all sorts of women are suddenly attracted to you?

And this proves that Joe have acquired the Tohno Gland.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.

[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.

[x] Well, you ’ve been mostly unfair to Aya. Maybe you should hang out with her a bit …

Why not? I also would to know more about who gave Tenshi that picture. And interrogate her. And punish her.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Time Manipulation- Your reflexes are boosted to give the illusion of slowed time.
[x] Well, you’ve been mostly unfair to Aya. Maybe you should hang out with her a bit…
-[x] While looking out for Marisa/Tenshi
That speed seems useful and we need all the hel we can get against her.
As for the other choices, we've been way too rough with Aya and I want him to spend more time with Tenshi so...

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] THAT GOURD. NOW.

She did say we could have whatever we wanted... But if we're being made to choose only one, recruit them.

[*] Summon: Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the Fifth.

I'm so tempted to go for Minor ZA WARUDO, but this is too crazy awesome to pass up.

[x] Stay at the festival and look for Marisa/Tenshi.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.
[x] Stay at the festival and look for Marisa/Tenshi.

Don't want to leave those two unattended, and we still have to confront Tenshi about that picture.

Right?

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Summon: Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the Fifth.
[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] THAT GOURD. NOW.
[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.
[x] Stay at the festival and look for Marisa/Tenshi.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.
[x] Stay at the festival and look for Marisa/Tenshi.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.
[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Time Manipulation- Your reflexes are boosted to give the illusion of slowed time.
[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife.

[x] Nah, showing off and proving yourself against them was enough of a prize for you.
[x] Summon: Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the Fifth.
[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife.
Rough dickings is a always a great way to cap off a day.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Time Manipulation- Your reflexes are boosted to give the illusion of slowed time.
[x] Well, you’ve been mostly unfair to Aya. Maybe you should hang out with her a bit…
-[x] look for Marisa/Tenshi.

Aya, what do your Tengu eyes see?

Yuuka will be pissed if you just leave Tenshi in the city by herself. Be a responcible dad.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind everyone else.
[x] Stay at the festival and look for Marisa/Tenshi.

Any other winning options plus:

[yeah] Summon: Lord-Master-Commander-Admiral-Captain-Duke-Baron Von Lightningkick Helmerschmidt the Fifth.

I can't decide on the other two votes.

>>23815
She'd bring that up next morning if anything.

[x] Recruit Suika and Yuugi for your crusade against Yukari.
[x] Minor Speed- Your speed is boosted and you no longer lag behind anyone else.
[x] Just go to the sunflower field and visit your wife.

(Just letting you know, the music is the start off the naughty bits)

Alright then, you tell both Yuugi and Suika that they’re working for you now and that they’ll do exactly as you say. Suika spits up a little bit and whines about having to do work, but Yuugi looks absolutely delighted. Reisen, on the other hand looks a little confused and- OH! You totally forgot about Reisen! You recruit Reisen into your crusade posthaste.

“But I didn’t say…” Reisen tries to refuse your offer, but you reject all of her attempts and recruit her anyways.
“Aww…Okay…” she looks quite down at this sudden turn of events, but is too timid to fight back. Yuugi on the other hand is quite ecstatic.

“Alright, I don’t mind working for such a strong person. If you need any relief from all that sexual tension, I’m right here…” Huh, speaking of sexual tension…

You ask Aya where the sunflower field is and she points in a direction and adds, “Its straight down that path, but let me come along with you to show you where Yu-” You cut her off and tell her that’s unnecessary, you’ll find Yuuka’s house on your own.

“But-”
You’ll find Yuuka’s house on your own. You tell Aya, Reisen, Suika, and Yuugi to stay behind and enjoy the festival while you go to visit your wife. After all, you have some sexual tension to relieve.
Suika cheers and runs off into the crowd, Reisen says, “Well, okay. I guess I’ll go selling the rest of the medicine that I have left…” and Aya and Yuugi stands there looking distraught and abandoned as you run off in the direction Aya pointed at.

You find the path fairly quickly and it seems like you’re running a lot faster then normal. You would almost say that you’re about as fast as everyone else while they’re flying, However, you’re still on foot so its still not as awesome. You make excellent time and find the sunflower field in no time flat. You stand at its edge and close your eyes for a moment. You know that if you trust your instincts, it’ll bring you towards your loving companion. Its so cheesy, it just has to work!

You open your eyes and start running through the field, letting your instincts guide you. It doesn’t take long before you see Yuuka’s house in the distance, surrounded by the ever-present sunflowers. You go up to the house and stand at its entrance. Man, its late, who knows how long Yuuka’s been sleeping? Is she even here? Does she even want to sleep with you? Doubts begin to cross your mind as you reach for the door knob, but you put those thoughts away as you turn the door knob and slowly open the door. You suddenly get an image of a woman carrying a scythe and you feel like she’s supposed to be guarding this place, but the image is gone and you completely forget about it in an instant.

You step inside and everything’s completely dark. You let your eyes adjust to the darkness and you see a stairway right in front of you with two paths on either side of it going to different parts of the house. You guess that her bedroom would be upstairs and so you put your hand on the railing and slowly ascend the stairs. Once you’re at the top, you see a long hallway with a partially open door on the end and a door right before it on the left. You assume that the door at the end would be her bedroom, and walk on over to the door. Once you reach the partially open door at the end, you peak inside to see its fairly well lit in compared to the rest of the house. Well, not well-lit as in having an active light source inside, but the moonlight streaming through the window illuminates the room well enough that you can see Yuuka sleeping on her bed fairly easily.

You see that Yuuka kicked the covers on her bed and is curled up in a ball as if she was cold. You read somewhere that people who sleep like that are actually very lonely or insecure inside. Aww, poor Yuuka, you’ll fix that soon enough…

You climb onto Yuuka’s bed and hover over her on your hands and knees. You brush the hair out of her face and you see that her sleeping face has a frightened, almost lonely look on it, as if she’s having a scary nightmare. Heh, Yuuka scared? Yeah right, she’s probably having a bad dream instead of a scary one. You lean down and kiss her lightly on the cheek, and she stirs from her slumber, and slowly opens her eyes.

“Mmm…?” She looks up at you and it takes her a moment to realize that you’re in bed with her. She smiles slightly and wraps her arms around you, bringing you very close to her.

“Well, what took you so long? I thought you would forget about me…” She gives you a soft, but firm kiss on the lips. And after a few seconds, draws back and looks you in the eyes.
“Hmm, your breath smells like alcohol and you have the scent of several women on you…Were you perhaps cheating on me?”
You give her a truthful, “no” and explain what happened after you chased after Sanae in its entirety, including your recklessness with the oni.
She stares into your eyes for a little bit and believes what you’re saying.

“Well, well, aren’t I lucky to have such a faithful husband? After having all these women trying to tempt you, I bet you have a lot stored up…” She gives you a naughty smile and you press your body up to hers and give her a huge kiss.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4xy-wxc1Y0)

You stay entangled like that for a while until you pull yourself. You’re ready to have a wild night with her, but Yuuka has a request for you,
“Wait, you were always so rough with me every time we did it. I don’t want to fuck or have sex…I just want you to make love to me…”
You can see she’s blushing heavily when she says this and you notice a side of her you haven’t really seen from her. She’s obviously embarrassed to say this, probably because she’s showing a gentle, feminine side that she rarely, if ever, shows. Well, of course you’ll make love to her and whatever else she wants. You want enjoy her body all night…

You see that she’s wearing a cute nightcap and a nightgown that reaches down to her kneecaps and you kiss her on the lips, but you quickly pull back and kiss her on the neck and continue going down. You reach her large chest area and notice that she’s not wearing a bra underneath her nightgown. You grab the bottom of her nightgown and pull it up to her shoulders, exposing her voluptuous breasts. You see sweat accumulating on her body and you slide your tongue along the side of one of her mounds. Yuuka makes a small sound, but suppresses it, so you reach her nipple with your tongue and you tease it gently, causing it to harden with arousal.
“Mm!” Yuuka starts to squirm lightly at your foreplay and this drives you to continue. You go to her other breast and tease it like the other, but this time you suck on it and use your tongue to play with her nipple. Yuuka jumps and gasps with this sudden sensation and you continue to tease and play with her nipples as she starts to lightly moan with pleasure. You leave her breasts alone and you place your tongue in between them as you continue traveling downwards. You pass her navel and reach the top of her panties, but you stop there and decide to tease her a bit more.

“D-don’t you think this is enough?” You can see Yuuka’s face has turned slightly red. No, this isn’t enough. She wants to be loved? Then dammit, you’re gonna love her good.

You move down to her legs and begin to lick the inside of her thigh, working your way up her groin and down again. The teasing is too much for her and she begs you to just put it in her. Hmm hmm hmm…Yuuka’s so cute when she’s like this…You see a moist spot on her panties, and you pull them down to reveal her very wet pussy. You can smell her feminine scent very strongly from here and your arousal is set to overdrive as your natural reaction to mate with her kicks in. You lick her thigh again, but this time you continue and work your way up inside the folds of her vagina. She holds onto the back of your head begins to moan again and you continue to stir her up with your tongue. You find her clit and lightly massage it with your lips and she shouts out as an electric shock of pleasure shoots up throughout her body.

“I can’t wait anymore! Just put it in me! Please! I‘ll go crazy if you don‘t!” Yuuka’s voice is frantic and desperate and, well, how can you refuse if she asks you so politely? You remove your clothing as well as hers and you place yourself at her entrance. You rub your member up and down her moist cave and she begins to panic again.
“S-stop teasing me and just put it in!” To be honest, you can’t hold back much longer yourself anyways, and with one smooth motion, you push yourself into her as deep as you can.

“Nnnnah! Ahh! Ahh!!!” You can feel the walls of her vagina tighten and spasm uncontrollably as she wraps her arms and legs around you and orgasms from the entrance of your hard member. She closes her eyes and tries to resist screaming out. She starts panting and breathing heavily after her orgasm and you let her rest a moment before you begin to slowly pump yourself up and down.

“Nnn! Nnng! Nnn!” She looks up into your eyes as you continue to thrust slowly into her, enjoying every inch of her soft, yet firm body. “Aren’t I lucky to have such a faithful husband?”, her words ring into your mind as you make love to your beloved wife. Indeed, you could have had sex with many different women up till now, could have done this very same thing with Yuugi or even Alice, Marisa, and Aya, but you instead chose to remain faithful and are now enjoying her body to the fullest. You’ve been with Alice and Marisa, but nothing compares to Yuuka…

She brings your face to hers and tells to go faster as she locks lips with you. You start to pump faster and the sounds of the bedsprings squeaking and you pounding into her fill the room. Yuuka’s body is incredibly hot and wet as the both of you begin to sweat profusely. You begin build in speed and race towards climax as the pleasure becomes almost unbearable. Yuuka stops kissing you and goes back to staring directly into your eyes as she cannot hold back her voice and moans loudly. She starts to tighten up again and she whispers to you that she’s about to come. You’re tell her you’re reaching your limit as well and you start to fuck her as fast as you can.

“Yes! Yes! Inside! Cum inside me! I want to feel your warmth deep inside me!” Yuuka’s practically shouting now as the both of you are close to the end.

“Mommy? Daddy? Are you there?” You hear Tenshi’s voice call out to you from the hallway.

FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!!!

You abruptly stop, but Yuuka starts to complain. You tell her that Tenshi’s coming and she tells you that she was about to as well. No, no, no! Tenshi’s in the hallway and you two need to stop!
“Tenshi’s old enough to know about this kind of thing, now keep going and cum inside me!”

[x] You can’t do this in front of Tenshi!
[x] Keep going, you have to finish or you’ll go crazy!


(Fun Fact: I was writing most of this while hanging out with a group of friends because I was so busy today.
Friend: Hey, whatcha doin’ man?
Me: Writing a paper.
Friend: Aw, sucks. Whats it about?
Me: Rough dickings.
Friend: What?
Me: Charles Dickens.)

[x] Keep going, you have to finish or you’ll go crazy!

Yuuka's right, Tenshi's probably older than Joe and would thus not be too affected. This might even return her to mind to normal.

[X] Keep going, you have to finish or you’ll go crazy!
[X] Pull the covers over you and finish up subtly.

I'm not so sure.. she has the mind of an infant now..

[x] You can’t do this in front of Tenshi!

[X] Keep going, you have to finish or you’ll go crazy!
[X] Pull the covers over you and finish up subtly.

[x] Keep going, you have to finish or you ’ll go crazy!

[x] You can’t do this in front of Tenshi!

We can't distort her pure and innocent mind this way!

[x] Keep going, you have to finish or you ’ll go crazy!

[X] Keep going, you have to finish or you’ll go crazy!

Tenshi, innocent? We saw she was a masochist earlier!

[X] Pull the covers over you and finish up subtly.

...However, let's deny her the view. Neglect play.

[X] Keep going, you have to finish or you’ll go crazy!

Welcome to SexEd.

[x]>>23823

I think the only reason we're going after Yukari for revenge is the principle of it, since in Gensokyo, we've gone on crazy adventures, managed to seduce Yuuka, etc. A good deal of the stuff we've done would have broken both US and international laws.

And chances are Joe doesn't want to go back.

>>23829

>However, going to Gensokyo doesn’t exactly net an instant bad ending, but the only way to “win” is to be able to survive and thrive or make it back to the outside world.

Seeing as we're surviving and thriving, I guess once we beat Yukari, we win! So let's get to Yukari and beat her up!

In the meantime...
[X] Keep going. If Tenshi walks in, well, that's her problem, not ours.

[X] Keep going, you have to finish or you’ll go crazy!
[X] Pull the covers over you and finish up subtly.

[X] Keep going, you have to finish or you’ll go crazy!
[X] Pull the covers over you and finish up subtly.

...none of the possible options really call out to me. This seems the best choice.

[x] Keep going! You have to finish or you’ll go crazy!

(Seriously? You guys are gonna keep going? Okay…)

Aw, fuck it, you can’t just stop now. Besides, Yuuka’s right, Tenshi’s old enough to handle herself. You don’t know WHY she acts like a child and calls you “daddy”, but maybe that’s a father daughter thing. You were an only child and never a father, so you’re entirely new to this.

You continue thrusting into Yuuka again, but your arousal has dropped just slightly from the shock of hearing Tenshi’s voice, so you have to work back up to where you once were. Yuuka starts moaning loudly and the room begins to fill with the sound of your love making again. You hear a light gasp behind you, but that doesn’t matter now, you’re so close…

You start thrusting into her faster and faster the closer you get to climax and Yuuka’s practically screaming by now.
“Yes! Do it now! Give me all of it!”
You grab firmly by the hips and push yourself as deep as you can into her releasing all of your hot sticky semen into her womb. The simultaneous orgasm you got from this session is beyond what you can describe as it far surpasses every time you had rough sex with Yuuka. Man, you have to “make love” to her more often…
You continue pumping your seed deep inside her and Yuuka accepts it all into her deepest parts as the both of you stay connected for a few seconds recovering from your massive orgasm. The both of you pant profusely while your senses come back to you. You’re still hard and not done making love to your wife, but there’s a problem you have to deal with first.

You turn to look behind you and you see Tenshi in the doorway with one hand fondling breast and the other hand reaching up her skirt and playing with herself. She’s lightly moaning and whimpering as she experiences a new pleasure. Tenshi’s a fully grown woman, despite being sheltered all her life, and being there to witness you cum inside your wife in a massive display is too much for her to handle, so she continues to pleasure herself while staring at you.
You try to tell Tenshi to stop or to at least tell her to go away, but you only manage to call out her name as you wasn’t expecting her to masturbate from this and instead run away or something.

Your voice sends her over the edge of reason and she runs up to you, climbs halfway into the bed and kisses you on the mouth, forcing her tongue inside and letting her instincts completely take over. You push her off, but Tenshi is relentless as she pushes you down, uncoupling yourself from Yuuka, and attempts to straddle you. You try to fight back, but Tenshi’s urge to have sex is overwhelming your half-hearted attempts to resist. After all, you’re still incredibly horny even after loving Yuuka and your body still is in reproduction mode…and Tenshi’s now a viable candidate. You try to reason with yourself that Tenshi’s your daughter, but you instincts LAUGH at your feeble attempt because she’s not biologically related at all, thus making it WINcest. Your will starts to fail you and you look over at Yuuka who is actually completely satisfied and is now rolling over to go back to sleep. Sure she didn’t have all that sexual tension built up like you did from the opposite gender tempt you with sex, but she could at least help! It doesn’t look like she even cares about what Tenshi’s doing to you! You take a small measure of pride for being able to satisfy your wife in one go, but Tenshi’s overwhelming strength quickly takes priority as she’s now fully on top of you.

You continue to fail your will saving throw as Tenshi starts to stroke your cock, partially in fascination and partially in lust. She then holds it straight up as she moves her panties to the side and places it at the entrance of her moist pink slit, ready to accept you.

Oh god, what’ll you do now?

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)
[x] Get your second wind, resist, and scold her. (end H-scene)

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)

I regret nothing.

[x] Get your second wind, resist, and scold her.

We've had enough H-scenes for one week.

[x] Get your second wind, resist, and scold her.

[x] Get your second wind, resist, and scold her.

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)
-[x] At the very least, switch position to missionary and continue.

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)

I guess Yuuka's cool with it?

DEAL WITH IT

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)

[x] Get your second wind, resist, and scold her. (end H-scene)


Much as i would like to in another situation, shes our daughter and I want to be faithful to Yuuka. Plus its right beside her on her own bed, right after she said she was so glad to have a faithful husband. Thats a real cunt punt there.

[X] Get your second wind, resist, and scold her. (end H-scene)

Most fucked up family.

[X] Succumb (Tenshi time)
-[X] At the very least, switch position to missionary and continue.

Tenshi~

[X] Succumb (Tenshi time)
-[X] At the very least, switch position to missionary and continue.

>>23842
Change to [X] Get your second wind, resist, and scold her. (end H-scene)

LOOKS LIKE THERE'S HOPE.

[x] Get your second wind, resist, and scold her. (end H-scene)

This is NOT what I intended when I started the 'Adopt Tenshi' write-in chain. Not. At. ALL.

...It just feels dirty, this way.

Plus what
>>23843
said.

[x] Succumb

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)

Yuuka has giving her approval. So, let's.

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)

Fuck it, I want more. Joe's not satisfied. So I'll say give me more H.

[*] Succumb (Tenshi time)

[x] Succumb (Tenshi time)

The family that sleeps together stays together. That and we can always claim we were out of it. And as far as first times go, one could do worse than Joe, even if the girl is drunk or he's hopped up on mushrooms.

[X] Get your second wind, resist, and scold her. (end H-scene)
-[X] If we really, absolutely, my-head-will-explode-if-I-don't-do-it must fuck Tenshi, let's at least not do it in front of our wife.

Joe and Yuuka is really starting to sound like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rbmjt51Pdo

4:40
+
5:36

It really is sad

Succumb- 13
Resist- 8

Wow, this is kind of awkward.

I mean, I didn't think you guys would actually take it, what with all the "We have to protect Tenshi's innocence!" going on.
Ah well, shows what I know. Time to make the most screwed up family ever.

[x]Gentle dickings
>>23819
>not biologically related at all, thus making it WINcest
Are you implying it isn't wincest even if they are fully related? Cause you're wrong.

[x] Succumb

(There, this is the last part of the H-scene. SURELY there won’t be any consequence for this. Nope. No sireebob)

You can’t accept this situation, but you can’t bring yourself to stop Tenshi either. Your mind is screaming, “NO! DON’T LET HER!” but your body’s saying, ”yes~”.
As the last shred of your will to resist fades away, you look over to Yuuka almost asleep at this point. If she didn’t like this situation, she would stop it…right? You call out to Yuuka in order to wake her up and she simply says, “mmm, goodnight darling…”

Wow, this is pretty fucked up.

You watch as Tenshi lowers herself down and pushes your member onto the entrance of her quivering pussy. She pushes down, but her anticipation is causing her to tighten so much that your hard member cannot penetrate her. She starts to breathe harder and harder as she tries to (unsuccessfully) penetrate herself. Tenshi begins whimper in frustration as she cannot fully join with you. Tenshi’s body is “ready” to accept you, but she just needs to relax because, goddamn she’s tight. Well, you’re not going to help her in any way, so maybe she’ll give up after a little bit.

“C-come on…come on…!”
Tenshi becomes absolutely frustrated and tries to force you in as hard as she can. Whoa, wait, ow, OW, OW! You’re suddenly halfway inside Tenshi as she managed to force you partly inside of her and break her hymen. She yelps in pain and surprise and shudders at this new sensation. She stops pushing down on you for a moment and tries to suppress the pain. You’d think that by now you’d reach up and stop her, but your body tells you that, “Its too late, just sit back and enjoy yourself.”

Which you would do, but Tenshi’s so incredibly tight that its kinda painful to you.. She stops shuddering and braces herself as she lowers herself some more until you’re completely inside of her. You feel yourself pressing onto her deepest part as she stays there in that position for a moment. You feel her inner walls flex as she enjoys the sensation of having you as deep inside her as possible. Your head starts to go blank from the incredible pleasure of her tightness, but she suddenly starts to move and slowly ride you up and down. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s ridiculously tight, or maybe its just how wrong this scenario is, but you’re actually really closing to cumming again as Tenshi starts to build up speed. Her movements are really awkward, but her drive to have sex pushes her further and faster as the bed springs begin to squeak again from her movement. Yuuka continues to SOMEHOW sleep through this as Tenshi starts to moan very loudly from the pleasure, despite just losing her virginity.

You try your best to resist the encroaching orgasm, but the sensation is just to much for you as, without saying a word to either of you, the both of you climax at the same time. You shoot your semen up into Tenshi and she moans in pleasure as your warmth spreads into her.

“Ehehe, I can feel it inside me daddy. I can feel your love and warmth…”

When she says this, a huge surge of guilt suddenly overwhelms you as you the lust begins to fade away. What…what have you done? This isn’t right! You’re having sex with Tenshi on your wife’s bed and what if she gets pregn-agh!

Tenshi’s not done “feeling your love” as she start to ride you again despite how sensitive your penis is from just orgasming. You grab her and hold her down to stop her from moving, but she continues to flex herself as if trying to milk more cum out of you. You don’t know why, but you feel your lust building again and you still stay hard inside of Tenshi. You can understand staying hard after cumming once, but twice is just unnatural…There’s something about Tenshi that’s causing you to continuously stay erect. You think its because its something about celestials, but your mind quickly turns from that subject and you’re completely overwhelmed by the thoughts of sex again.

You push her down (while you’re still connected to her) and you begin to pound away at her like an animal in rut. You apologize to Yuuka as you lose your mind to lust and you continue to thrust into Tenshi.

“Aren’t you happy that your daughter is a celestial? Isn’t my body simply heavenly?” Tenshi says with a gasp in between each word. You don’t hear her as you start to pump faster and faster into her as you build towards your third orgasm of the night.

“Yes daddy! Give me your love!” Tenshi shouts as the both of you climax again. You release some more semen inside of her of her and Tenshi’s face is absolutely ecstatic as she twitches from the sensation of being filled. You lay on top of her panting from exertion, but you recover quickly and lay on top of Tenshi in guilt. You feel like an animal for doing such a thing with her…

“We’re so compatible daddy, I love you...” Tenshi wraps her arms around you and slowly falls asleep, as do you. You feel like you died a little inside as your consciousness fades away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The morning sun streams through the window of Yuuka’s bedroom and hits your face, telling you to wake up. You try to roll over onto your side, but you feel something in your arms when you move and you open your eyes to see a naked Tenshi snuggled in your arms. You recoil in horror until you realize what exactly happened last night. You were making love to Yuuka and…Wait, where’s Yuuka?

You look around to see that Yuuka’s not in the bed anymore.
WHERE’S YUUKA?!

You start to panic and you leap out of bed as Tenshi grumbles in protest. You run down the hallway and down the stairs until you hear a voice coming from one of the room in the side passageway near the stairway.

“What’s with all the commotion?”
You hear Yuuka’s voice and you go into the room where it came from to see Yuuka sitting at table eating toast. She’s clothed as usual and gives you a confused look.

“I don’t mind you being naked in front of me, but don’t you think its inappropriate?” Yuuka takes another bite from her toast and sits there looking at you.
Wait, what about Tenshi? What does she…?

“Oh, did you love our daughter properly last night? She is part of our family, and you should love your family equally.” Yuuka says this nonchalantly and it begins to dawn upon you why she’s taking this situation so well.

Yuuka has a corrupted definition of love.

Oh damn, this is really bad. Yuuka knows that you should “love” your family and “love” your spouse, but doesn’t know that there’s a different sort of love for either thing. Wait, if this is true, then why doesn’t Yuuka “love” Tenshi? You ask her this and she simply responds,
“Tenshi doesn’t really want my love. She sees me as a mother figure, but wants your love instead.”

Whoa…so does that mean…Yuuka would have “loved” Tenshi if Tenshi wanted Yuuka’s “love”?

This is making your head hurt really bad and you lean against the wall to straighten out your thoughts. Well shit, now there’s no way you can tell her the difference between the different kinds of “love” now that you slept with your daughter and it would be hard to explain it otherwise. But wait, what about Tenshi? Is she going through some sort of Oedipus complex or did she somehow really know about Yuuka’s corrupted definition of love and was actually plotting all along to get into bed with you and…GAH!
You don’t know anymore. You feel really down now that you can’t have a simple, happy marriage anymore. What’ll happen if you and Yuuka has children of your own? Can you even have children in the first place? You really need a drink…

You hear a series of knocks on the door and you shuffle unhappily towards the door and open it revealing an Aya.

AYA!
SHE MUST HAVE TOLD TENSHI WHERE TO FIND YOU.

Your first instinct is to throttle her, but then you realize that it was your fault that you left Tenshi alone and Aya was simply guiding her towards you…

“The noble and honest Aya ShameIYAH?!”

Aya’s greeting is cut short as she notices that you’re not wearing pants.
Or anything for that matter.

She stares at you for a little bit (well, lets just say she’s not looking at your face) until finally saying, “W-why are you naked?”

Before you have a chance to respond, she suddenly looks behind you and exclaims, “Wait, why are YOU naked?!”

You turn around to see Tenshi standing at the foot of the staircase completely naked with a perplexed look on her face. Why is Tenshi naked? She was mostly clothed when you were…uh, “doing her” last night.
Aya looks completely horrified as she starts to back away from you.

“She’s your daughter…you weren’t supposed to do this…” You reach out to stop her and explain yourself (as feebly as you can), but she flies away at incredible speeds to who knows where.

Fuck.

[x] Well, nothing you can do now. Go to SDM and talk to Remilia about that job she has for you.
[x] Go to Aya’s house. Time for more distractions!

[x] Go to Aya ’s house. Time for more distractions!

Whopee~
Distraction~
Distractions~

>>23857

Anon lives off of Bad End's and H-Scene's. You should have known this by know.

Plus a majority of them are idiots.

>>23857

That would explain the unnatural flow of voters in this thread. With the H-scene ends, things will go back to its natural state.

But it's not everyday anon lives off Bad ends. Some anons have suffer so many bad ends eventually they become paranoid to vote and have developed some kind of foresight for bad ends thanks to certain stories in TH-P.

>>23862
That "foresight" tends to lead away from the better options as well.

[x] Well, nothing you can do now. Go to SDM and talk to Remilia about that job she has for you.
And there we will recruit Patchy! Only the best in education for dear sweet Tenshi~

[x]>>23860

Joe should be taking this a bit better, he basically has the perks of incest without the downsides.

But for now, let's attempt doing some damage control.

But I have no regrets, better Joe than some clumsy teenage human/youkai/etc.

[x] Well, nothing you can do now. Go to SDM and talk to Remilia about that job she has for you.

Enough bread and Circuses for one week, Anons. Seriously, WE HAVE REVENGE WE STILL HAVE ON OUR MIND! REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So fuck Aya and get money.

As in... forget her...

GAH!

[x] Go to Aya ’s house. Time for more distractions!

OHHHH!!! A 'TENGU'. A RARE SPECIES OF AVES. MUST RESEARCH HER!!!........Wait, where are you going??? SHIT, SHE'S GETTING AWAY!! DON'T THAT RARE SPECIES ESCAPE DAMMIT!!!

[x] Well, nothing you can do now. Go to SDM and talk to Remilia about that job she has for you.
Man, worst choice ever. Good work in corrupting the, already damaged, mind of Tenshi

[X] Go to Aya ’s house. Time for more distractions!

Mushroom snorting anon here. Even I know this was stupid of you lot. Christ.

[x] Go to Aya ’s house. Time for more distractions!

Sons, I am dissapoint.

...What the hell?

I mean seriously, what the hell, anon.

What have you done?!

I'm too ashamed of you all to vote right now.
Seriously.

>>23871

Change it to
[X] Hakuto Shinken Tenshi so she doesn't get those urges
[X] Equip moonwalker and explain to both THE CONCEPT OF LOVE *hunh*
[X] Go to Aya's house.

(we all know Aya will comeback for pix but make it brief and head to her house before she publishes anything)

I don't quite see the cause of the major spaz out as Joe got off on some strange feet with some of the girls seen.

Yuuka? We more or less gave her a rough japanese hello and that charmed her over.

Alice? She got drunk, horny and absurdly strong and had her way with us.

Marisa? High on mushrooms we partially raped her with even Aya getting turned on by it.

It's WAY too late to play the saint card now. Joe was a rather manly if normal guy, fond of drinking and driving, doing some kinda crazy stuff, and groping girls. Now in gensokyo, we've taken to drinking and fighting, doing really crazy stuff and deflowering women one way or another.

Now if we found Tenshi before going to Yuuka, we could have prevented this, but what's done is done. We/Joe might as well get used to it as with many other things here.

[x] Well, nothing you can do now. Go to SDM and talk to Remilia about that job she has for you.

[X] Go to Aya’s house. Time for more distractions!

Aya may be honest (somewhat), but this looks like something she could put into her paper. We need to stop her.

>She is part of our family, and you should love your family equally.
Smartest thing said in this story yet. After all, morals are for America. This is not America.

>>23874
Also, smartest Anon here.

>>23874

I like the way you imply not sleeping with your adopted child-like daughter is worthy of sainthood.

[X] Go to Aya’s house. Time for more distractions!

[X] Go to Aya’s house. Time for more distractions!

Isn't Aya a part of family as well?(as our pet crow) That means we also need to give her our equally love as well.

>>23874
>>23877

I hadn't read this story before, but...
After seeing these posts, I couldn't help but read the past few threads. And, well...

>>23871

Ah, someone already beat me to it, I see.

Seriously, this story, and especially some of the comments in the votes, makes me feel ashamed to even visit /border/.
So, maybe you guys could tone down the manchild Mary Sue munchkin faggotry a teensy bit? Just a request.

>>23857

I QUIT

Hahaha, oh anon, will you ever cease to be displeased with yourself?

I guess not, so let's keep going!

>>23884
Funny how Anon showed less regret over worse fuck ups in this and other stories.

Me? "One path, no regrets, etc"

[x] Go to Aya’s house. Time for more distractions!

(Oh god I feel so high right now)

Ah well, seeing as how you’re a person with little to no morals, you stow away the fact that you just slept with the person you considered your daughter and proceed to live out the rest of your life completely unaffected by your choices. Yep. Because this’ll have no impact on you whatsoever.

You go upstairs, dress yourself in your usual attire, then head back downstairs. Yuuka’s still eating toast when you open the door to leave the house and she asks you where you’re going. You tell her that you’ve got some business to take care of and possible a job to work and she simply says, “Alright, I’ll be tending the sunflower fields until you get back.” and she goes back to eating toast.

Speaking of toast, you can’t remember the last time you ate something and you go into the kitchen to enjoy yourself a great, big, manly…

Wait, all you see is a loaf of bread on the counter with a single toaster (with the words “Nitori” etched on it) next to it. Uh, okay, you check her refrigerator (which also has the words “Nitori” etched into it) and you see a huge variety of jam inside, and you mean huge variety of jam. You see it stacked all the way to the back of the very back of the fridge with every flavor imaginable. Strawberry, grape, strawberry AND grape, blueberry, peach, apricot, mango, rhubarb, cherry, passion fruit, pomegranate, banana, kiwi, red onion, cranberry, coconut, avocado, milk, honey, chocolate, lemon, key lime, orange, mandarin, apple, pineapple, honeydew, watermelon (which has two familiar looking horns on the top for some reason) peanut butter, bacon, and many, MANY others that completely blow your mind.

BACON JAM

You’re fairly certain that most of these are marmalades, but you’re far too blown away to delve into that subject. You do what any sensible man would do in this situation and you make yourself toast with EVERY FLAVOR OF JAM KNOWN TO MAN.
The result is an abomination to the word “breakfast” as its just a single piece of toast with about a foot of jam stacked on top, topped with a dab of bacon jam like some sort of artery clogging cherry. You actually begin to regret making such a horrible creation, but you’ll be damned if you reject your own cooking! You grab a spoon and begin to work at your breakfast. It tastes just like you imagined it would and its rather painful to keep down. You feel rather queasy and feel like you’d rather not eat anything anymore for the rest of your life…

After you finish your wonderful breakfast, you ask Yuuka if she has anything other than bread and jam, but Yuuka cuts you off before you say anything and she asks, “Oh, honey, could you go get some more bread? I have some stock piled in the room at the end of the hallway to the left of the staircase. Just get one more and bring it back here.”
Hmm? Sure. There’s only one slice of bread on that counter and its about halfway gone, so you leave the kitchen (which was to the right of the staircase) and head down the hallway to the left of the staircase.

You hate long hallways, maybe its because of the fiasco at Eientei, but you just feel like you’re headed towards something horrible. You reach the end of the hallway and go through the door to see another mind-blowing amount of foodstuffs. This time its bread, as you see loaves and loaves of bread stacked all the way to the ceiling inside of neatly packaged plastic bags. You can’t help but wonder if Yuuka buys a lifetime supply of bread or if she somehow makes it herself and only purchases the plastic bags. Holy shit, you hope that Yuuka doesn’t live off of toast and ONLY toast. You would have to cry if that were the case…
You reach out to grab one of the loaves of bread until you notice that there’s a low rumbling sound coming from the back of the room.
Huh, strange…
You notice that, instead of being a large wall of bread, there’s actually a hidden path that goes deeper into the room and, against your better judgment, you follow the path. The room starts to grow darker the further you go and you eventually come across a rusty metal door with a large keyhole above the handle. The rumbling sound is a lot louder now that the bread isn’t muffling the sound anymore and you feel a sense of dread as your hand automatically reaches for the handle and you turn it with a loud squeaking noise, signaling its old age. It seems almost surreal as you push the door and it opens fairly easily, exposing a stairway going down, bathed in darkness.

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CN04ruWv30g )

Why you stepped into that darkness you’ll never know, but you continue downwards despite your survival instincts telling you “NO! TURN BACK!”. You continue to descend into the darkness and you have wait a bit to allow your eyes to adjust to the darkness. The staircase wasn’t actually that far down, but you can’t really make out anything except for a large object in the middle of the room being the source of the loud rumbling along with another object revolving around it. Your eyes continue to adjust themselves and now you can tell that this large object is spinning and the object causing it to spin is actually a person pushing a large wooden bar attached to the object in the middle. As you stare at this sight, your eyesight adjusts itself enough that you can see that this person is wearing a hat and a long dress, probably a woman or a very strange man. She (you assume it’s a she) doesn’t seem to notice your presence and you greet her.

No response.

You greet her again, only louder this time, and still no response. She just continues to push the bar around and around the room completely unaware of your presence. Under normal circumstances you wouldn’t notice it, but there’s another object in the room that draws your attention towards it. Its on the opposite side of the room from the staircase, and would normally be blocked by the large rotating object in the middle of the room, but you somehow know that its there and you walk towards it to get a better look. Its shaped like a refrigerator, but upon close inspection, you see that it’s a freezer…

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMfoRqbS-Ko )

What could be in the freezer? Why did you know about the freezer’s existence before you even saw it? What would happen to you should you open the freezer? A myriad of questions flow into your mind and they all come to the same conclusion: Open the freezer and find out. It seems as if the freezer is slightly illuminated, but only the freezer. Not the wall behind it, not the floor, but just the freezer. The door of the freezer calls out to you in a language you cannot recognize, but can understand. Like an itch that you have an urge to scratch, your hand twitches in anticipation. The only thing stopping you is fear. Fear of the unknown. Do you really want to open this freezer? Would you be better off not knowing what’s in this freezer and just walk back to your life never knowing? No, you have to know. You can’t just leave it alone now…
You reach for the freezer and Yuuka’s cold voice causes you to freeze.

“Don’t open that.” Her voice is surprisingly harsh and you feel a sudden chill run up your spine.
What’s behind that freezer door?

That door.


That door…

You turn around and look behind the spinning object in the middle of the room to see Yuuka standing at the top of the staircase, her figure completely dark from having the light shine in from behind her. You walk away from the freezer and walk back up the stairs to your loving wife. When you get close enough, you see that she’s smiling at you and doesn’t look very threatening at all.

“I was worried that you somehow got buried in an avalanche of bread when you took so long, so I came looking for you. I’m so relieved that you’re okay.” Her voice is the same as always, in fact it’s a lot more caring and soothing. She hugs you to show just how relieved she is, but you can’t help but ask who that person down there is.

“Oh Elly? She’s my best friend. She helps me make the flour for that bread. Isn’t that right Elly?”

No response.

Yuuka clears her voice and speaks in a louder voice, “Isn’t that right Elly?

“I love you.” A monotone voice returns Yuuka’s query.

“See? She used to guard my house a long time ago, but she got tired of it and asked if she could help me make bread. So I made a special room just for her and allowed her to work for me.”

“I love you.” The voice from below says again and you ask Yuuka why its so dark in there.

“Well, Elly hates the sunlight, so I keep the lights off at all times, just for her.” Yuuka says this like its nothing.

“I love you.” The voice from below says once more and Yuuka closes the large metal door with a loud CLANK.

Uh, you ask Yuuka where she’s getting all that grain for the flour and she chuckles to herself and answers, “I’m a flower Youkai, I can make flour” She laughs a little bit at her own joke, but for some reason you’re not amused.

“Didn’t you say you had a job to do? It would be a shame if you got fired because you were late…”

She chuckles lightly to herself again, but you decide that you’ve asked enough questions. She takes your hand and leads you to the entrance of the house where she gives you a peck on you lips and tells you to have a nice day at work. Well, you can’t really call it work because you haven’t really accepted the job yet. Hell, you don’t even know what the job is…

“Wait! Daddy! Are you leaving??” Tenshi runs down the staircase fully dressed.
“Take me with you! I wanna play with daddy!”

Tenshi tries to walk past Yuuka, but with one arm Yuuka holds her back and says lovingly, “Daddy has to go to work now, but its okay, you can play with me in the flower field.” She gives Tenshi a warm smile when she says this, but you quickly grab Tenshi’s hand and tell Yuuka that its bring your daughter to work day and run out the door with her in tow. Yuuka waves at you and says, “Alright, don’t work too hard now, honey! You have to save some energy for me!”

For some reason, you irrationally run through the sunflower field holding Tenshi’s hand, despite her saying, “Wait daddy! You’re running too fast!” until you get to the very edge of the sunflower field where Tenshi catches her breath and you just stand there thinking about how to get to Aya’s house.

Tenshi’s panting from overexertion and says, “You know daddy, I could have used the earth to get us to where we need to go…” and you look at her questioningly and she pulls a golden sword out from behind her (you give up wondering where all this stuff comes from) and she stabs the ground with it, causing a huge chunk of the floor below you to separate from the rest of the earth and levitate in the air. Why didn’t she do this earlier?!

“Well, you didn’t ask…” Tenshi says timidly and quietly adds, “And I hate running…” Well, you tell Tenshi to go to Aya’s house and she brightens up at this. “Okay! Here we…” She taps the golden sword on the ground and it zooms forward towards where you’re assuming Aya’s house is. “Go!” She says happily as you nearly fall off, but manage to keep your balance on this flying rock of death. It doesn’t take long before you see Aya’s house in the distance just like how you remembered it. Before you reach it, however, you tell Tenshi,

[x] RAMMING SPEED!!! (GOLDSMITH AYA! STOP WRITING NAUGHTY THINGS!)
[x] Land it roughly on the ground in front of Aya’s house to alert her of your presence.
[x] Land it quietly a decent distance away so you can sneak into her house.
[x] Go back and open that freezer.

BACON JAM

> RAMMING SPEED!!! (GOLDSMITH AYA! STOP WRITING NAUGHTY THINGS!)

As much as I want AWESOME to happen, this isn't the time, for that. The place, maybe, but not the time.

[X] Land it roughly on the ground in front of Aya’s house to alert her of your presence.
-[X] "Aya, I want to talk to you."

[X] Land it roughly on the ground in front of Aya’s house to alert her of your presence.
-[X] "Aya, I want to talk to you."

[X] Land it roughly on the ground in front of Aya ’s house to alert her of your presence.
-[X] "Aya, I want to talk to you."

>>23884
I'm plenty displeased with you too, mister.

[x] Land it roughly on the ground in front of Aya’s house to alert her of your presence.

Well, seeing that Joe is pretty much an immoral bastard now, guess doing horrible things is no longer a problem. Shouldn't we get a title for that?

Whatever, immoral Joe probably won't get the best ending, and Gensokyo's going to turn into his harem. Oh well, I'm readying the australium to make Cho-Marisa. Carry on, carry on.

It's time... for SERIOUS BUSINESS

[X] Land it roughly on the ground in front of Aya’s house to alert her of your presence.
-[X] "Aya, I want to talk to you."

>>23894

Well, if you're displeased with me then its an entirely different ballgame. If you tell me exactly what you're displeased about, then I'll take it into consideration when writing a new update. Keep in mind though that I have to follow what the majority of the votes want, so you're going to have to make an awesome bandwagon for everyone to ride in order to change the direction of the story, but if you can't do that...then sorry man. Speaking of bandwagons and majorities, >>23896 Joe basically reflects what the readers' desire. If they want him to be an immoral bastard and go sexing up everything (which is currently what I'm seeing happen right now) then that is what they're going to make him do. He doesn't HAVE to do that, as it is the reader's choice, but yeah, already went over that.

The whole Tenshi thing was supposed to be a "lol gonna cockblock anon with the daughter" scenario, but I completely underestimated them (shame on me). So, I gave them one more chance to stop and once again they kept going. Yeah, if you're going to get mad at me for something, then it would be Tenshi appearing at the worst time. OH WELL, its over now and I got more fun dilemmas to place you guys in. You can just call me "chance" as I make things happen randomly and you have to react to it.

And one final note: Even though I don't answer a lot of your posts and such, that doesn't mean I don't read them. So if you enjoy my story and voice how happy you are, then I see that and it inspires me to write more frequently. If you guys are negative, I also read that and see what I can do to improve the story (IF I can improve it). Even all the posts that say, "OMG THIS THREAD SUCKS" or, "GOD, THERES NOTHING BUT PUNCHING, DRINKING AND FUCKING WOMEN, THIS IS FAGGOTRY", I still take my time to read as the people who posted it had enough time to read over my story enough to understand the gist of it AND post how they feel about it. The least I can do is acknowledge their unhappiness.

What? You think I sit back on my big comfy chair with a top hat and monocle, sipping brandy and nibbling on a freshly cooked brisket while vocally commenting on every one of your posts with a, "Jolly good!" or "By Jove he's mad!" and more or less ignoring them while twizzling my mustache in satisfaction? Well, I do at least ONE of these things, and I'll give you a hint as to which one I DON'T do: ignore your posts.

So yeah, to end this rant: Thanks for your support after all this time and cheers to the 5th thread coming up!

Oh, and to those of you who just can't stand this thread...sucks doesn't it?

(P.S. update heading your way later today. Kind of busy to do a full update right now. Also, pic possibly related as it is possibly foreshadowing...)

>>23896
He's not a complete bastard, just one that is riding the wave of what happens when you adopt a neglected adult Celestial as a daughter.

I realized it's a VERY good thing we never choose the Tohno Gland as most of Gensokyo would go about throwing themselves on to his dick.

Yeah having an adult Celestial who is 1000+ years older than Joe as adopted daughter. Things like that are bound to happen sooner or later. Honestly, I don't see this as incest. To me, incest means make love with BLOOD-RELATED lover. So what happen earlier is just regular sex. That's all. It just pseudo-incest, just on surface. Not that I mind incest. I pretty much accept it, just as I enjoy rape scenes(as long as it's MC doing all the work). Yeah call me a sick bastard or whatever. I know I'm not the only one who enjoys these fetishes.

>it's a VERY good thing
we never choose the Tohno
Gland

I don't think so. Joe has already acquired the Tohno Gland by being so MANLY and AWESOME. Heck, even Joe questions himself about why he is such a chick magnet. I even quoted that sentence at my earlier post. Look for it after Yuugi's fighting scene.

>>23898
> pic possibly related as it is possibly foreshadowing...

I think Sanae's gonna attack us or something...

>>23898
I just take things instride. And even before the event happened, Joe was pondering WINcest. I knew what I was doing when I voted to go ahead... both times.

The story had a slow start.... which sped up into crazy awesome.

[x] Land it roughly on the ground in front of Aya’s house to alert her of your presence.
-[x] “Aya, I want to talk to you.”


And nothing happens. Damn! And you were so sure that she would come outside to talk to you! Oh well, you had a feeling that this was gonna happen, so you initiate plan b: Knock on the door politely and inform her of your arrival.
You do just that and you hear movement on the other side of the door.

“Who is it?” A familiar voice responds to your knocking and you tell the voice who you are and that you want in.

The door opens all the way to reveal a person fairly familiar to you, Reimu. She’s standing there at the entrance of the doorway with a cup of tea in her hands and a completely relaxed look on her face.

“Oh hey I remember you!” She says as she recognizes you, but then her face turns sour and she then says, ”Oh…I remember you…”

-sip-

“What do you want, Joe?” She takes another sip from her tea and gives you an annoyed look.

Hey, just because you defeated her in honorable combat (that SHE started by the way), doesn’t mean she should have some sort of grudge. Hell, you even took her home after she fell unconscious! You didn’t have to do that, but you did anyways.

“I don’t have a grudge against you,” Reimu takes another sip of her tea before continuing, “Aya just donated a large sum of money to my shrine and asked if I could prevent anyone from entering her house,” -sip- “so I accepted and she gave me some delicious tea when I got here, which I started to enjoy until you came and interrupted me.” -sip-

For some reason, you’re getting aggravated by this display of utter carelessness. Its not the fact that Aya hired someone to keep you out of her house, but the fact that Aya hired someone so completely inept at their job. You could just simply push right through the door with little to no trouble at all, but you decide to be diplomatic with Reimu. You’d rather not make an enemy if possible.
You ask Reimu if you can go inside of the house and…wait…
That ribbon on her head…

You open the bag that you always tote around with you and you notice that the ribbon you “acquired” from Reimu has gone missing! You don’t remember ever taking it out, but then again you don’t even remember putting it in your bag. How did she get her ribbon back?

“Oh, Yukari gave to me. She said that she found it on a pile of junk and she returned it to me.” Reimu takes yet another sip from her tea cup and you feel like you just seriously missed something. Did she just say Yukari gave her the ribbon?

-sip- “Mmm hmm, she visits every now and then to bother me, but its not so bad. Now can you please go away so I can enjoy my tea?”

So…Reimu is Yukari’s friend, huh?

“Well, I wouldn’t call her a ‘friend’, but I don’t mind her company.” Reimu continues to enjoy her tea and you continue to interrogate her. You demand to know where she lives and Reimu starts getting uppity with you.

“Why should I tell you?” She says in a haughty tone and continues to sip her tea. Good lord how much tea is in that thing anyways?! You demand her to tell you Yukari’s location…

[x] Or you’ll smack her around like you did last time. (Intimidation)
[x] And you‘ll donate to her shrine. (Diplomacy)
[x] Or else you’ll force your way in and do terrible things to her. (Bluff)
[x] And you’ll show her a good time. (Charm)
[x] Go back and open that freezer.

The only thing I can think of is to NOT chose the last option.

The others...ehh...

[x] Get rid of that damn tea. Maybe then she'll listen.
-[x] Take back that ribbon, too.

She's clearly more interested in her beverage than anything we have to say or do. And the ribbon is so that we can give Tenshi something to cure that bare head of hers.

[x] Get rid of that damn tea. Maybe then she'll listen.
-[x] Take back that ribbon, too.

What is ours must be rightfully returned to us. And if we were drinking tea, this would be fine, but we are not, and clearly this is an irritating thing. WE MUST DEAL WITH THE TEA FIRST, THEN WITH REIMU!

[x] Get rid of that damn tea. Maybe then she'll listen.
-[x] Take back that ribbon, too.

[x] Get rid of that damn tea. Maybe then she'll listen.
-[x] Take back that ribbon, too.

[x] And you‘ll donate to her shrine. (Diplomacy)

[x] And you‘ll donate to her shrine. (Diplomacy)
[x] At least ask what Aya's up to; you just came over to talk; nothing more.

She's definitely up to something if she bribed Reimu to be a guard dog.

we can't donate, we don't have any money!

[x] And you‘ll donate to her shrine. (Diplomacy)

[x] Get rid of that damn tea. Maybe then she’ll listen.
-[x] Take back that ribbon, too.

-sip-

Reimu continues to relentlessly sip her tea right in front of you. Now you know what you must do… You reach out to grab the tea from Reimu’s hands, but something stops you when your hand tries to pass the doorway. It doesn’t seem like something physical is stopping you, but its like an invisible magnet is repelling your hand away.

-sip-

Grrr! You know she’s mocking you now with her tea and you continuously try to snatch the tea away, each attempt as unsuccessful as the last. Tenshi’s behind you, watching your frustration with interest as well as Reimu, but you don’t find it interesting at all. Your hand never makes it past the doorway, but dammit you’re trying your very best to get through!

“You know I set up a barrier here right?”

-sip-

Yeah, but you busted on through one of her barriers before and you can do it again!
You keep trying to force your hand past the doorway and Reimu keeps sipping her tea and watching you until she gets bored. She sighs and explains that she set up a talisman barrier during the fight back then (which you managed to break with a punch), but this one is a much more proper and powerful barrier that you won’t be able to get through without her permission.
But…what about your magic resistance?? You should be unaffected by the barrier!

“Nope, spiritual power. Definitely not magic at all.”

-sip-

ARGGHH! Useless ass magic resistance! You try to walk into the house, but the barrier prevents you from doing so and you just walk in place with your arms stretched out towards Reimu. Tenshi laughs at your display of silliness, especially when Reimu holds out the tea cup inches from your hands and pulls it away when you lunge at it. This goes on for a while due to your stubbornness, but Reimu begins to tire of you quickly.

“Are you done yet? I want to enjoy my tea and count the money in my offering box at the end of the day. So if you don’t have any other business with me, have a nice day.”
She gives you one last -sip- and shuts the door in your face. Well shit, now what? You gotta somehow persuade Reimu to let you into the house. Tenshi looks at you interestedly to see what you’re going to do next. Fuckin spiritual power bullshit…You must destroy that tea for her insolence and reacquire that ribbon for Tenshi!

[x] Ask Tenshi to toss a huge rock at Aya’s house to bust open a hole in the wall. Wanton violence solves EVERYTHING!
[x] Maybe you can find someone to help persuade Reimu to let you in. Wonder where Marisa is right now?
[x] Wait…Offering box! Quickly go to Reimu’s shrine and hold the offering box hostage!
[x] Give up and go to Remilia’s castle.
[x] Go back and open that freezer.

You've hit the autosage mark again, Hat. I must applaud you for this. Another thread down, another go go.

[x] Maybe you can find someone to help persuade Reimu to let you in. Wonder where Marisa is right now?

Yeah, where is that Black-white witch when you need her? She could do something.

[X] Go back to her shrine
-[X] Take all the money
--[X] Go back to aya's and tell her you'll donate ALL of this money

>>23923

Actually, screw my original vote. THAT IS THE VOTE THAT IS FILLED WITH WIN!

[X] Go back to her shrine
-[X] Take all the money
--[X] Go back to aya's and tell her you'll donate ALL of this money

Besides, not like she's rich enough to purchase a security back at the shrine.

>>23922

Thanks! Keep voting in this thread and I'll put the next update up in a new thread.

[x] Go back and open that freezer.

For all we know, the answer to our problem is in there.

[x] >>23922

[x] Go back and open that freezer.

[x] Go back and open that freezer.

[x] Go back and open that freezer.

>>23898

I'll be honest here, the Tenshi thing turned me off this fic for a while as well, even though I glossed past H-Scenes by default. However, curiosity for the inevitable bad end overrides my lingering feelings of discomfort here.

Just saying, Hat, that you shouldn't even have given them the option in the first place. I can respect the whole "lolcockblock" intent, but what came after that... well, if you didn't expect that to happen, I guess we've learned a lesson: Never include a choice if you don't expect it to win. No matter how stupid, or immoral it is. It's gonna take me a while to get over the squick from that, and it's messing with my enjoyment of the rest of this story.

Hat, I can only hope that what has yet to come doesn't involve Joe basically screwing everyone in Gensokyo in the end. What drew me to this fic was the over the top crazy awesome stunts Joe kept pulling, and the H scenes are getting in the way of that for me, just like I expected. Of course, I'm aware I'm far from the only reader of this story, and the vote for the H-scenes did win out. Just felt I had to contribute my two cents here. Anyway, congrats on the fourth thread. Hopefully there's some writable middle ground that can be used in the future to keep everyone happy.

>>23930

Thanks for the two cents, and don't worry, I am NOT going to have Joe screw everyone in Gensokyo. That's not what I have planned for Joe.

I am, however, trying to get Joe back on track to the main story, but everyone keeps getting distracted and I HATE railroading when it comes to interactive story telling (This was because of the time I was a DM in D&D and I gave them a little distraction which they took WAY too far. I didn't bother railroading them back to the main story so it soon became the Main Quest and, 6 months later, everyone agreed that it was the greatest thing ever.)
So yeah, who knows when we'll ever get back on track...

And who says its going to be a bad end?
Naaw, I just have a tendency for giving out bad ends. That doesn't mean it'll be a bad end.

But that doesn't mean it'll be a good end either.

Aaaaand, now that I think about it, we're getting distracted by another distraction (4 freezer votes). Alrighty then, new update/thread coming up.

>>23926
Nope, just a pointless delay/possible bad end.