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 Just have them do you from both ends! One can take your throat, and the other down below! What's better than a belly rub? A belly rub and a chin scratchy!
The answer is simple: you love Reimu, and you love Satori! The obvious choice is to not choose at all! Aren't you smart? You feel real smart right now.
Now, all you have to do is get them to marry!
Satori sputters, going red in the face. Reimu sends her an odd look, to which Satori replies by averting her eyes. And then Reimu's look grows odder still, as neither of them said anything. To this end, Satori quietly booms, "She... wishes us to marry."
And now it's your red-white master's turn to go red, becoming the red-white-red! Satori snickers for some reason, though you're not sure why. Reimu averts as well, saying, "You have your head screwed on right, Aun? Girls can't marry."
Of course, you point out, "But the loud dog seems to like girls! And she's not a boy! Maybe girls can marry?" You're not entirely sure, but surely the proof is enough. "Plus, aren't you only supposed to feel nice when kissed by boys? I was kissed all over by Satori's 'dumb' bird!"
Satori blinks, and then gives Reimu a dirty look. "At least my bird knows not to stick her nose up skirts." Reimu blinks a few times, though Satori continues, "I refer to Aun. She is the cause of that yamabiko thinking she must be a dog."
Now Reimu gives you an odd look. "Why the heck are you sniffing...?" She shakes her head, not finishing that sentence. "Look, it doesn't matter. She's a youkai, a woman, and annoying."
You helpfully point out, "But I'm a youkai, a woman, and annoying! You even said so! Multiple times!" You smile, because of course you do.
Reimu lets out a long sigh. "And you're a freeloader, not my wife."
Satori points out, "She sees herself as your pet, not a freeloader."
Now Reimu goes extra red once more. "Like hell she-" She takes a deep breath, and uses it to grumble. Then another, followed by saying, "Aun, you're a komainu."
"The guardian of the shrine."
"You're a lion."
"Who has a pet lion?"
Satori chimes in like the strike of a gong, "I do."
Reimu replies simply, "Shut it, you."
You helpfully point out, "I'm also a dog!"
Reimu just sighs. Satori has your back, though. "In the end, does it matter?"
Reimu sighs longer this time, and massages her temples. "Well... I guess not? Never really had a komainu come to life before."
You just smile, saying, "So, when's the wedding?"
They both go equally silent, and also pointedly look away from each other. Reimu regains her composure first, saying, "There won't be any wedding." You give her puppy eyes. "N-no! Stop that!" Your eyes get teary. "A-Aun, cut it... cut it out... I'm not..." You sniffle, looking down. "Fine! We'll get married! Just stop that already!" Her hand practically blurs in transit to giving you ruffles.
Satori looks at Reimu like she said something unreasonable. "You can't be-" You turn your eyes on her, whimpering. Her floaty eye thing's eye twitches, before gushing blood. "...Very well." Her own hand makes a quick transition to your belly, and you are soon on the ground, happy as can be.
Meanwhile, the cat seems to be ascending to a new level of smug and the white bitch is at a loss for anything even approaching words. She takes this chance to sneak away, dragging the cold bird with her. The cold bird is bonelessly taking pictures all the while.
Up next is the epilogue. Other than that, the story is over.
I may make another like it some day, as it's been fun. Possibly from Nitori's PoV or something.