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35268 No. 35268
Hello, THP! This is my first ever attempt at writing smut of any kind, and I'd like to think it turned out all right. This particular piece is an entirely non-canon 'what-if' scenario for my /sdm/ story Don't Lose Your Head, detailing the future of a hypothetical Kyouko route, so some references will be lost on you if you haven't read that.

With all that being said, I hope you enjoy!

As I'm pulled through the nighttime woods by a girl who has to stand on tip-toes to look me in the eye, I wonder how in the hell it came to this. Kyouko Kasodani, the young lady responsible, drags me on with surprising strength, although I could stop her dead if I really wanted to. When a young woman takes you for a moonlit stroll, there's really only one thing to expect, and I don't have the heart to dash her hopes just yet.

If I'm being honest with myself, I likely doomed myself to this the moment I decided to make visiting Kyouko a daily thing once I had recovered well enough to leave base. She grew on me during the Scarlet Devil Mansion incident, I suppose. Besides, it was either visit her or Meiling, and I have a hunch that the moment I dared step foot on Mansion grounds again Patchouli would burst screaming from the windows and set my head on fire.

But I'm digressing.

Kyouko jerks to a halt in a fairly open clearing, well-lit by the moonlight streaming through the treetops. They lend the scene an ethereal feeling, the colors muted and faintly unreal.

"Right!" Kyouko says, looking around for any voyeurs. After a few moments she pulls free of my grip, turning to face me. Her expression is eager, though tinged by worry. "Okay, so, um, we're alone, right?"

"If we're not, I'll strangle whoever's watching." I cast a look around, but no one leaps out or scurries away, so I consider us safe.

Kyouko looses a long, deep breath, rubbing one sandaled foot against the other. "Well, I know it was pretty sudden, me asking you out here, but there's something I wanted to tell you."

I fold my arms. "I think I know what this is about, but-"

She interrupts me by standing up on her tip-toes, leaning in close, and pressing her lips against my own. I reel, taken completely by surprise, before she clasps my slack hands in her own and tugs me down to meet her properly. Her lips taste like fresh cherries, and her clean smell is almost overpowering.

When she pulls free, I open my mouth to speak, but she lays a finger over it before I can say anything.

"That was my first kiss you just got, mister," she says, the tiniest of playful smiles crossing her lips. "Don't you dare make me regret it."

"Well, now," I say, quirking a brow. "Keep this up and I might start to think you've got feelings for me."

She exhales sharply in amusement. "Oh, shut up, you-"

She doesn't get a chance to finish before I grab her around the waist, and I relish in her yelp of surprise as I pull her in for another, deeper kiss, my free hand entangling itself in her curly hair. Whatever tough facade she had erected melts before my attack, her knees buckling as our tongues clash, entwining with each other. I fend off a tentative probe, push in while she reels, and take the fight to her, my tongue brushing against her teeth before it pushes further in. She yields before my push, granting me full access. I run rampant, my tongue exploring her mouth with all the subtlety of a derailing train.

When I break away, she's panting for air, her cheeks flushing strawberry-red.

"You- okay, you win that one," she says, but she doesn't seem all that put-out by my victory if her little grin is anything to go off of.

I smirk, mussing my hair up with no small amount of self-satisfaction. "Well, I aim to please."

A dangerous glint enters her eyes. "Really, now?"

Her hand edges downward, but I hurriedly intercept it at the wrist, giving the startled girl my best stern look. "I can't help but think you might be moving a bit too quickly, there."

She frowns, so I release her. "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be here. Besides that..." Her expression softens as she trails off, clasping her hands together. "Well, I like you, all right? When you're around, I- I don't know how to describe it, but it feels good, you know?"

"That's typical of friendships, yes."

She playfully punches me on the shoulder. "I meant more than that, jackass."

"Even so, you don't think that's going too fast? I'd at least like to treat you to a nice dinner first before we go this far."

She hums thoughtfully. "So if I were to do this-"

This time she takes me off guard, her hand darting down and-




"Would you consider changing your mind?" she says, tilting her head and smiling brightly.

"You make a persuasive argument," I grind out, eyes bulging. Good God, it's been too long since a woman's touched me like this. I might've been able to resist another time, but my soldier is now standing firmly at attention, the traitorous bastard.

"Glad to hear it!" she chirps, releasing me.

I take a deep breath, running a hand over my face while I try to sort out my thoughts. Putting aside any of my purely physical wants, Kyouko is certainly a lovely young lady. And what she said before, how she feels about having me around-

Oh hell, I think I actually want to go through with this.

It's a liberating realization.

"I do hope you realize what you've just gotten yourself into, Kyouko," I say, drawing myself to my full height, the better to tower over her.

She gulps, her previous bravado failing her. "Um."

I lean in, closer and closer, until my mouth is right next to her ear. "I'm going," I whisper, carefully enunciating every word, "to take your virginity."

I draw back. Her blush has returned in full force, and she slowly cups her hands over her mouth. A wordless little squeal escapes her throat.

"So, shall we get to it?" I ask. She nods mutely in response, so I remove my shirt in a single smooth motion, exposing my chiseled torso. It takes a lot of work to keep it up to the point where I could grind stone to powder against my abs, but from the way Kyouko whistles at the sight, I think it was all worth it. She reaches toward me, laying both hands on my skin, and her fingers trace imaginary shapes over my chest, pausing on old battle scars wherever she finds them. I've picked up more than my share, but every one was well earned.

She pauses in her exploration over a particularly large cross-shaped scar, and looks at me with- worry? "Just how much have you been through?"

Her question dredges up memories terribly unfitting my current situation, but I smile for her regardless. "Well, that one in particular was from when a cyborg stabbed me clear through, since you were wondering."

She blanches. "Yow."

"And that's not even the worst I've had," I say lightly, as if I were talking about something markedly more pleasant than how many times I've been maimed in the line of duty.

She opens her mouth to ask something else, but promptly clicks it shut, flushing red with embarrassment. "I- I'm sorry, I shouldn't be asking this right now."

"I know just how you can make it up to me," I say, and without giving her the time to react I wrap broad arms around her, pulling her in for a warm embrace. She makes a brief noise of surprise before practically melting against me, and I can't help but enjoy the feeling of her chest agains my own. The way she's pressed against me, how those green eyes are filled with a mixture of apprehension and anticipation, it's almost enough to drive a man mad.

But I'm better than that.

After several moments well spent in each other's arms, I shift back, readjusting my hands until they rest on her shoulders and, more importantly, that dress preventing me from experiencing every last inch of her bare form. "Ready?" I ask, tugging softly at the garment. She hesitates for but a moment before nodding assent. Permission granted, I start undoing the buttons holding it all together, and after a short while spent fumbling about with her unfamiliar dress, I pull her top off and cast it aside, leaving her entirely bare-chested and blushing fiercely. Small breasts and perky nipples are the order of the day, the rest of her body slim and toned from both constant sweeping and, much to the dismay of my eardrums when I first went to one of her concerts, constant rocking. She's not quite petite, but she's close.

"You don't have to leer, you know," she mumbles, eyes downcast as she covers her chest.

"Nothing wrong with admiring a beautiful woman," I say, drawing her close once again. Flesh on flesh sends shivers down my spine, and from the way her breathing just heightened, she's feeling the same way. My hand roams down her back, descending until it brushes against her tail. She very nearly strangles a yelp from that contact, but that only serves to pique my curiousity. I clamp my hand around the tail, and the sharp hiss of surprise she gives confirms my suspicions. I give her an arch look, and she responds with one of utter resignation.

"Oh, here we go," she grumbles. "Just don't pull it too hard, all right?"

"Well, if you don't like it-"

She quickly shakes her head. "Oh, no, no, it's, um, it's the other way around."

"Aha." Well, that changes things.

Threading my fingers through her fur causes her to emit a low-pitched whine, one that promptly shifts several octaves higher when I give her tail a gentle tug. My other hand slips down her skirt, running over bare skin with nothing to stop me.

"Nothing underneath there at all, huh?" I mutter wonderingly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you planned this all out."

"M-" she starts, only to suck in a breath as my hand runs over her firm rear. "Maybe I did, hm?"

I lack an easy retort to that, so instead I send my hand straight for the grand prize; it may be cheating, but the way she completely locks up when I brush her main entrance is something spectacular.

"That's not fair, you jerk," she whines, although she makes no move to stop me.

"Just giving you a taste of what's to come," I say, drawing my hands back. I lay them on both sides of her skirt before gradually pulling it down, baring her inch by painstaking inch. While I could certainly work faster, that would mean I couldn't watch her fidget as much, and that's half the fun. She kicks her sandals off while I work at that, then wriggles out of the skirt once I get it to her knees, leaving her completely vulnerable. I step back to get a better look, and this time it's my turn to whistle as I take her naked form in.

She trembles beneath my gaze, biting her lower lip and averting her eyes. She snakes an arm behind her back to grab her other hand at the wrist, by necessity thrusting her chest outward in a way I'm not entirely sure is unintentional. Shifting my gaze lower reveals that, yes, the curtains do match the drapes. Little rivulets of liquid run down her thighs, surprising me; either she's more sensitive than I thought, or I had a greater effect than anticipated.

"Like what you see?" she asks, her voice cracking as she forces herself to look me in the eye.

She's- oh, man, she's actually worried. That's adorable.

I jerk a thumb down at the dutiful soldier standing ready. "That a good enough answer for you?"

My crude response pops her tension like a balloon, her ragged laugh giving rise to one of my own. "You're a pig, you know that?"

"I've been called worse," I say, keeping my eyes level with hers despite the temptation to dip it downwards even the slightest bit.

Now that she's totally exposed, I could simply bring her to the ground, take her hard and fast, force her past limits she never knew she had before- but much as I want to, as wonderful as it would be to hear her cries and feel her clinging to me, I hold back. She only has her first time once, after all, and it would be terrible to ruin that for her.

No, this calls for a softer approach.

I plunk myself down in the grass, crossing my legs. "Turn around and take a seat, if you please."

She quirks a brow at me. "This isn't gonna get weird, is it?"

I roll my eyes. "Look, I'm a man whose job is punching people, you have fluffy ears and a tail, and our first date is going far faster than I'm honestly comfortable with, I'm pretty sure we're well past weird."

"Mm, you got me there." After a moment's deliberation, she sighs and obeys my request, planting herself firmly on my lap and leaning back against my chest, shifting to accommodate my stiff erection. Pressing against her like this sends an electric thrill through me, more so as I feel all the goosebumps on her body.

With her in my lap like this, I have her completely at my mercy. I don't go straight for the coup-de-grace, as it were, instead opting to trace my hands across her bare shoulders, down her toned arms, taking no small delight in the way she shivers at my touch. I rest my chin on her shoulder, both to get a decent look at what I'm doing and for the simple pleasure of feeling her smooth skin on my face.

Her breath hitches as I cup my hands around her breasts. She may not have the largest bust around, but there's still enough there to comfortably fill my hands, soft and inviting in equal measure. I give both an experimental squeeze, and she sucks in a deep, shuddering breath. I pause a moment so she can collect herself before I begin kneading her lovely mounds, massaging them up and down. Her breathing increases to an irregular panting, intermingling with the occasional deep-throated moan.

I'm content with this for roughly who gives a damn before I give her right nipple an experimental flick, getting a sharp little squeak in response.

"Ah, do that again!" she pleads.

Naturally, I obey, following it up by pinching her other one with my free hand. As I prod and squeeze away, her panting comes in harder with evey passing moment, and she grips my legs for support. Her nipples have hardened considerably by this point, her chest swelling with every rapid little breath. I keep at it for only a short while longer before I begin sliding a hand down her chest, pausing over her belly for a scant second before pushing on, coming to rest at her navel.

"You ready for this?" I murmur, and get a shaky nod in return.

"Just- give me a second, please," she groans. I cease all motion, content to merely feel her against me. It takes a few moments before her thready breathing stabilize somewhat; when it does, she grasps my waiting hand with her own. She guides me downwards, through her bush, and lays my hand to rest over her wet entrance.

My pointer finger slips inside her slick folds, and she gasps in turn as I carefully thrust it in down to the knuckle. I add my middle finger seconds later, my digits exploring every inch they can reach, her little moans and gasps urging me onward. Even as I do that, my other hand caresses her chest, and I cap it off with a series of little kisses moving up her neck. She cranes her head to meet me and forcefully presses her lips into my own, caught up in the moment. This time she has me on the defensive, going for a feint, then slipping her tongue past mine while I'm distracted, the clever girl.

When she breaks loose, tears are beading in the corner of her eyes. "I can't take, ah, much more of this," she gasps, her every breath shallow and frantic. "Finish it, please."

"Gladly," I say, redoubling my attack. She squirms underneath my touch, her whimpers increasing in pace and volume both as I plunge my fingers in and out of her, running my other hand up and down her heavenly legs.

I fall into a rhythm, thrusting my fingers in, pulling out, in, out, in, switch it up with a twist-

That last motion causes her whole body to lock up, a keening whine tearing out her throat and piercing the night air. I hold her tight as she shudders, orgasm wracking her from head to toe, until it subsides and she slumps bonelessly against me, capable of little more than panting for breath. I'm more than happy to simply whisper assurances in her ear as she recovers, stroking her hair with my dry hand.

We stay like that for perhaps a minute before she regains control of herself. Slowly, shakily, she shifts around until she's lying on her side, draping herself over my legs and resting her head on my belly like I'm an oversized pillow. It takes her even longer to dare look up at me- when we lock eyes, tears stain her cheeks, but her breathless smile betrays her true feelings. "I- that was-" She searches uselessly for the right words, and after several fruitless moments pass, she merely sighs and slips her arms around my waist, nuzzling her cheek against my gut. "It- it feels so much better when someone else does it."

I slide a hand up and down her back, what little of it I can reach without drastically moving. "That's rather the point, I imagine."

"If you can do that with just your hands..." She gives the tent in my pants a curious look, then reaches for it; I grab her wrist halfway there, and she looks up in surprise. "I thought- you certainly liked it earlier, didn't you?" she asks, looking faintly hurt.

I shake my head. "I'm not opposed to it, but... Well, look." I cup her chin in a hand. "Tonight's all about you."

I get the feeling her newfound blush has nothing to do with any of my previous handiwork.

She uses my arm as a makeshift support to pull herself up, and presses her whole body against mine.

"Um, well, if that's the case, could we..." She gulps. "That is- I mean- I think I'm ready for you to, ah, go the distance, as it were."

"I can't say I'm against this plan," I say, offering her an easy grin to hopefully disarm her worries. I gently dislodge her and rise up, the better to shuck off my trousers and underwear in rapid order, exposing every last inch of myself to the night with all the caution one would expect in a suicide charge.

Kyouko stares straight ahead, which, considering she's at eye-level with the master sergeant, is about what I expected. "Wow."

I shrug, trying to appear nonchalant. "I get that a lot."

She nods, unable to wrench her gaze from my package. "I should think so!"

"All right, enough talk," I say, kneeling down in front of her. "Ready for this?"

She grips both my hands and brings them to rest on her shoulders. The smile she offers me is shaky, wavering. "...be gentle?"

I merely smile, before ever-so-carefully pushing her down to the ground, leaving me poised over her and ready to plunge in. Her hair spills out onto the grass, arms protectively wrapped over her breasts. The longing in her eyes, that sheer want, gives me a fair idea of what she'll say, but much as I want to take her here and now, I owe it to her to ask. "We can stop right here if you think-"

She cuts me off with a nod. "I'm sure."

Well, if the lady wants it, far be it from me to deny her. I cautiously guide my tip into her, and my breath catches in my throat- the sensation is frankly amazing, but I've little time to enjoy it as she goes rigid, eyes locked wide in sudden shock. I grind to a halt before making the mistake of pressing further, concern overriding any mere want. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

She takes a deep breath to steady herself, then shakes her head, new resolve filling her features. "No, no, it's just- I'm just not used to it, all right? Go ahead."

I sigh in relief. "Tell me if I'm going too fast, then."

She nods assent, before sucking in a deep breath, screwing her eyes shut and clenching her fists.

I push further in, every fraction of an inch feeling as though it'll wring me dry. I grit my teeth, holding myself in check despite the temptation to simply ram it all the way in- that would, after all, be indescribably rude, and Kyouko deserves the best I can offer. She trembles with my every motion, her breathing coming in short, staccato bursts, and a pang of guilt strikes me, so I lean down, the better to plant a kiss on her forehead. Her eyes shoot open in surprise, more so when I pull her close and lay another on her lips. She's startled for only a moment more before she recovers, pressing against me as though I were the only solid thing in her world.

I pull back, then press forward once more, slowly repeating the motions as Kyouko tries her level best to hold steady, although her little yelps betray the effect I'm having upon her. I hold her steady with one hand around the small of her back, occasionally reaching down to brush her tail; every time I do so, her whole body locks up for an instant before relaxing again, with a predictably fantastic result on my shaft. My other hand is free to roam as it wishes, and there's plenty for it to enjoy.

I dip my head down to her chest, giving me easy access to her nipples. I flick my tongue across one hard as rock, my free hand massaging the other, and the moans I get from her in return are distinctly higher in pitch. The reaction I get from dragging my teeth over it is even more pronounced as her back arches, and she reaches up to snare her arms around my neck.

"Keep it, nnh, keep going!"

I gladly obey, swapping my lips to her other breast, my hand filling the void I just left her first tit in. Even as I do that, my thrusts increase in speed, every push causing another moan or whimper of pleasure. My other hand works her tail over, the combined effects of all my actions causing her body to twitch in immensely delightful ways.

Soon enough, my concentration begins flagging, and I become grimly aware of how close release is, whether I want it or not. I dedicate all my remaining strength towards holding myself in, grabbing her firmly around the waist to give myself leverage. Every pump is another torturously blissful reminder of the situation my manhood finds itself in, every motion tearing another little gasp or cry from this beautiful young woman. Her fingernails dig into my back as she grips me tightly, as if I'll float away on the breeze if she dares let go.

"F-faster," she moans, bucking her hips in tune with my own even as I dutifully increase my pace. Her legs wrap around my waist, locking me into position. Her every breath comes in hard and fast as I pump away vigorously. My self-control may be fading more with each passing second, every single twitch threatening to send me over the point of no return, but I'll be damned if I'll give in first and leave her unsatisfied.

I pause, pulling back to consider some way to stretch my restraint the farthest it can go, and Kyouko glares at me through half-lidded eyes.

"Don't- damn it, don't stop," she whines, before I seal her lips with my own. She pushes against me, our frantic clashing of tongues hardly graceful. A scant moment passes before I resume thrusting hard and fast, the temporary reprieve a precursor to my last ferocious attack. She breaks free of the kiss to rest her chin on the crook of my neck, every single noise she makes falling straight into my ear. I don't know how long we spend like that, locked together in that embrace, and I don't much care.

Despite my best efforts, Kyouko holds on with remarkable fortitude, her every ragged noise giving me another reason to hang on. Still, there's only so far even I can last, and I fear my time is fast approaching. As if sensing my distress, Kyouko draws back just enough to look me in the eyes, tears streaming down her face. "I-" she gasps, her voice thready. "I- I love you."

Those three simple words crack open a hidden wellspring of resolve I didn't know I had, spurring me to hold her tightly as I can, the heat of her body against mine engulfing my world. I'm faintly aware that things other than her exist, but they all seem so small, unimportant, and I don't waste any more time thinking about them.

One last thrust pushes her over the edge, her back arching, body pressing tight to my own as her whole form is wracked by sheer ecstasy. A piercing wail tears out of her throat, echoing long and deep into the night. Her shuddering motions assault my manhood, the rapid contractions of her inner walls eroding the last of my own restraint, and I lose myself in what seems an eternity of euphoria.

Eventually, though I know not when, I return to my senses, finding myself lying on my back and staring at the stars above. Kyouko lies on her side next to me, her arms wrapped around my neck and legs around one of my own. Her eyes are shut, a content smile resting on her lips, the gentle rise and fall of her chest her only movement. We lay there, the soft sounds of our breathing the sole noise to be heard, two bodies pressed together without a care in all the world. After a short time, I start running my fingers through her hair, eliciting a pleasant little noise.

"So," I eventually manage to force out, "was it good for you?"

She cracks an eye open, then laughs weakly. "You could say that, yeah."

I tousle her curls. "Glad to have been of service."

She graciously allows my indulgence for several moments before she grasps my hand with both her own and pulls it down, until it's resting near her collarbone. We share gazes, and I find her expression hard to read. "That was..." She breaks eye-contact, her voice dropping to little more than a whisper. "No one's ever made me feel like that." She looks back at me, uncertain for only a moment more until she takes a deep breath. "Oh, screw it." She kisses me lightly on the lips, brushing her nose against mine in that passing gesture. When she draws back, her smile, the happiness in her eyes, is enough to make my heart surge up with a joy I haven't felt in far, far too long. "You're stuck with me now."

"I can think of worse things," I murmur. "Such as, for instance, everything else."

Her answering giggle is light and airy, and I can't help but grin in response. Once her little fit subsides, she beams at me. "Good answer."

She curls up, resting her head on my chest, and I wrap an arm around her to hold her close. I don't bother to keep track of how long we spend like that. There are more important things to occupy me, such as how pleasant her skin feels as I slide my hands over it.

"Well," I say, causing her to look up just in time to see me waggle my eyebrows obscenely. "I suppose you wouldn't be up for another round?"

She flushes cherry-red before hiding her face against my chest. "I- can we just stay like this instead? Please?"

"Ah, well," I say, returning to stroking her hair and relishing in the pleased little sounds she makes. "A man can dream, right?"

"Keep on dreaming, then," she says, but there's no malice in her words, only a gentle chiding.

I'm not sure when it is that I look over to find her sleeping, but the sight of her like that is something I wish I could file away in my mind with perfect clarity. Sadly, that isn't possible, so I settle for rolling onto my side and drawing her peaceful form into a deep hug. She doesn't wake, but I could swear she drew closer anyway.

My thoughts wander to what excuse I'll have to come up with when the brass inevitably ask where the hell I went tonight, but I push those worries out of my mind because I honestly don't give a damn.

After all, she's worth it.
No. 35271
First of all, let me say that it's really hard for me to imagine AE without the armor. When I think of AE, I immediately think of the badass futuristic power armor. So I could not get the image of Kyouko making out with a suit of power armor out of my head. It was really jarring.
I gave up trying to imagine the narrator as AE after a while and enjoyed it much more. Might be because in the story AE acts like some sort of superhuman so it's hard to imagine him as a regular guy. Maybe it's just me.

That said, it was good. Toward the end I feel that you used too many technical and mental descriptions and not enough physical or emotional. The item of the day in this sort of thing is passion and sensuality, but I think you got too bogged down in the mechanical details of the act rather than how it feels.

>When a young woman takes you for a moonlit stroll, there's really only one thing to expect, and I don't have the heart to dash her hopes just yet.
Why was he going to dash her hopes and why did he give that up so quickly? I probably shouldn't expect so much character development in a smut piece, but as a reader of DLYH, I find myself curious.

Now that you've done this, you should go update your main story.
No. 35273
I have no idea who or what this Male is thus I can't bring myself to care about this.

And anyone who doesn't know your story will it hard to care about this utterly non-described male character.
No. 35277
>"That was my first kiss you just got, mister," she says, the tiniest of playful smiles crossing her lips. "Don't you dare make me regret it."



It's a lighthearted vanilla smut piece with a faceless male, a time-honored tradition on /at/ with a history that stretches for generations. And frankly it's quite good, especially for a first-timer.

Take your need to complain about the faceless-male trope elsewhere, like /blue/. I hear they have a good rage thread.
No. 35278
I imagine AE as a fat lard.
No. 35279
File 140150302658.jpg- (183.25KB , 950x804 , 83a7a4c47cebb617d4aa1f7ff3faa7c2.jpg ) [iqdb]
Rabbutt pls.
No. 35280
File 140150763919.jpg- (130.10KB , 960x720 , iz dis nigga serious.jpg ) [iqdb]
I thought it was pretty good. Too vanilla for my tastes though.


>character development

Pic related.
No. 35281
Not bad, though not sure how many saw her as a romantic choice. That being said, yours is a rather cute Kyouko.

but next time come to #Touhouporn for advice/help and not from Rabbit-Nasu.
No. 35284
In part it's more that I rather dislike first person perspective for such a thing. It appears that there is a character here who has something about it but I don't get anything from this one shot and thus can't get why this is happening.
No. 35292
The fact that this is not AExMeiling makes me very sad, also UPDATE WHEN?
No. 35296


Thanks for the kind words and solid critique, anon! Looking back on it, yeah, I kind of lost my way near the end. I got too hasty and rushed it out the gate, which didn't do it any favors. I'll probably go back to my saved copy and work on it some more for my own peace of mind, using your advice.

As for the armor complaint, well, even AE has times when he's not a faceless goon in power armor going around punching people. Not to say that your problem isn't valid! I could stand to have him be things other than POWER ARMOR BADASS all day in an interlude for the main story proper.

As for your final question about what he meant by shattering her hopes, well, that's another part where I screwed up. If I had put in a bit more detail, I'd have revealed that AE's organization is more than a little tight-lipped about their presence in Gensokyo, airship support notwithstanding. Imagine how pissed his superiors will get when they find out one of their elite troops is breaking in his brand-new leg by going off to bang a local, one who is also a member of a major religious power-bloc.

As for why he gave in so easily, that's once again my fault for not elaborating enough. If I'd done it properly, it'd have been more obvious he was kidding himself as to his true feelings for Kyouko, especially since this short is in line with her hypothetical route.

Finally, my latest DLYH update is currently sitting on a computer with corrupted startup files, meaning about 2k words are sitting in limbo. I essentially wrote all this on an iPad out of spite thanks to the magic of Pastebin. Still, if I was able to put out just shy of 5k words on here, that means there's nothing stopping me from doing an update for DLYH proper, which is what I'm going to work on next.


Get the hell out of here, Rabbit. You don't even like porn.


>too vanilla

Shit, man, I just wanted to write something sweet for my first foray into smut. I'm generally a pretty vanilla guy, I'll be honest.


I'll level with you here; I really, really really like Kyouko. Like, holy shit, you do not even know. I didn't much care for her one way or the other at first, but as I wrote the main story she really grew on me, to the point she's now one of my favorite characters.

Also, I didn't ask Rabbit to proofread, he volunteered on his own. This had both good and exceedingly terrible results, as you'll see shortly. Still, I'll keep your advice in mind and visit the TouhouPorn guys whenever I work on my next piece of /at/ material.


I'll be honest, I was a bit miffed when I saw your first post. Now that you elaborated on your reasons, however, i see where you're coming from. Yes, the short loses some impact if you haven't read the corresponding story, but from the way you're talking, this wouldn't have been your kind of thing in any case. I'm sorry this wasn't enjoyable for you, and I hope you find some smut that's more to your tastes.


Oho, ohohoho, worry not! Now that I have popped my smut cherry, so to speak, I think a Meiling short is well within my power sometime in the future.

They will wreck absolutely everything around them. PROPERTY DAMAGE, HO!

As for updates when, see my first response!

And now, as soon as I can beg a pastebin link of Rabbit's riff on my first unfinished draft, I'll show you folks! It's horrible and amazing at the same time, although I might be biased since it's my work he tore down.
No. 35297
As promised, the log of Rabbit riffing on my early first draft of this short. I hope this gives a few of you laughs, because I couldn't stop cracking up.

[00:01] <%Rab_Bit> I suppose I should get to reading it
[00:01] <cereal_ata> deme: damn it, are you trying to imply something with that link?
[00:01] <%Rab_Bit> time to point out the fuckups
[00:02] <%Patch> http://i.imgur.com/fFaL1fp.gif
[00:02] <MobileSights> It's completely unfinished
[00:02] <MobileSights> But yes
[00:02] <MobileSights> Fuck ups
[00:02] <MobileSights> Find them
[00:02] <MobileSights> SLAY THEM
[00:02] <%Rab_Bit> 11: >turning to face me. Her expression is both hesitant
[00:02] <%Rab_Bit> what the fuck
[00:02] <%Rab_Bit> why does it end there
[00:02] <MobileSights> UNFINISHED
[00:02] <Triplicity> patch
[00:02] <Triplicity> did you
[00:02] <Triplicity> play AC:I
[00:03] <MobileSights> IF THAT GETS YOU RIP AND TEAR MAD
[00:03] <%Rab_Bit> 27: >and I relish in her yelp of surprise before I pull her in for another, deeper, kiss,
[00:03] * Rennac| (~AndChat41@419462C4.5E696E3F.2267429B.IP) has joined #THP
[00:04] <%Rab_Bit> GOOD
[00:04] <balistadead> Rabbutt: >pointing out sudokus
[00:04] <%Rab_Bit> FUCK YOUR AFTERGLOW
[00:04] <balistadead> it ain't even done yet mang
[00:04] <%Rab_Bit> BALISTA
[00:04] <balistadead> has it been so long that you just can't restrain yourself
[00:04] <%Rab_Bit> I AIN'T GIVE NO FUCKS
[00:04] <balistadead> and you take it out on underaged updates now?
[00:04] <%glasnost> oh boy, this again
[00:04] <balistadead> that's illegal in most developed countries you know!
[00:05] <%Rab_Bit> >I remove my shirt in a single smooth motion, exposing my barrel-esque torso. It takes a lot of work to keep it up to standard,
[00:05] <%Rab_Bit> >barrel-esque
[00:05] <%Rab_Bit> now
[00:05] <%Rab_Bit> I imagine him with a beer gut
[00:05] <%Rab_Bit> takes a lot of beer to keep it up to standard
[00:05] <FelixOvum> I always assume lanky, 5'11 protag unless stated otherwise
[00:05] <%Rab_Bit> but it was stated otherwise
[00:05] <%glasnost> oh nevermind, he did ask for it
[00:06] <%Rab_Bit> therefore, fat beergut
[00:06] <%Lion> glasnost
[00:06] <%Lion> why are mcs always average height with generic dark colored hair
[00:06] <%Rab_Bit> 83: >Small breasts and perky nipples are the order of today,
[00:06] <balistadead> >beergut protag
[00:06] <balistadead> wasn't there a character in some thing
[00:06] <%Rab_Bit> The phrase is "order of the day", not "order of today"
[00:07] <%glasnost> lion
[00:07] <Triplicity> Lion: Chaika MC's hair lol
[00:07] <balistadead> who was really really obese normally, except when there was a fight he suddenly hulked out because that fat was actually "extra blood"?
[00:07] <MobileSights> I WAS TORN BETWEEN THE TWO YES
[00:07] <MobileSights> THANKS
[00:07] <%glasnost> because of your immersion
[00:07] <%Lion> chaika mc looks like a dork
[00:07] <%Patch> Trip: Did I play what now?
[00:07] <%Lion> is he a dork
[00:08] <%Rab_Bit> >I roll my eyes. "Look, I'm twice your size,
[00:08] <FelixOvum> All MCs with interesting female leads end up dull
[00:08] <FelixOvum> cept araragi
[00:08] <%Rab_Bit> JESUS, WHAT A FATTY
[00:08] <%Lion> what about mcs with bland female leads
[00:08] <MobileSights> Pffffff
[00:08] <MobileSights> Okay
[00:08] * qazmlpok (~qazmlpok@9F77813D.2D8ABD50.C2B330F5.IP) Quit
[00:08] <%Lion> like every key protagonist i guess
[00:08] <FelixOvum> Lion: what, you mean the tapestries?
[00:08] <FelixOvum> exactly
[00:08] <%Patch> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDE5gY2cEu8 Okay, the opening for the Senran Kagura cooking game is kind of fucking hilarious.
[00:08] <+Catball> YouTube Dekamori Senran Kagura - Opening Video (1:33) by 2play2gamer
[00:08] <MobileSights> Change barrel-sequel for something more chiseled, CHECK
[00:08] <MobileSights> ESQUE
[00:09] <MobileSights> MOTHERFUCKING ESQUE
[00:09] <balistadead> mobilllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle correctionnnnns
[00:09] <%Lion> why isn't there a thing where the mc is cool and every girl is great
[00:09] <%Rab_Bit> >I shuck off my trousers and underwear in rapid order, exposing every last inch of myself to the night. My pasty white flab shines in the moonlight.
[00:10] <%glasnost> araragi is almost cool
[00:10] <MobileSights> Pffffffffffffffffff
[00:10] <%mini_Kagiyama> snrk
[00:10] <%Rab_Bit> >Kyouko stares at me, eyes wide. "Wow."
[00:10] <%Rab_Bit> >"I get that a lot."
[00:10] <%Rab_Bit> >She nods, unable to wrench her eyes from my package. "I should think so! You almost look like you're pregnant!"
[00:10] <MobileSights> Damn you, rabbit
[00:10] <MobileSights> DAMN YOU
[00:10] <FelixOvum> snrk
[00:10] <%glasnost> maybe if he had a fight where he didn't get the shit beaten out of him
[00:10] <%Rab_Bit> I can't stop laughing
[00:10] <MobileSights> THS IS
[00:10] <%mini_Kagiyama> hahaha oh god
[00:10] <MobileSights> I LOVE IT
[00:10] <FelixOvum> glasnost: what about in kizumonogatari
[00:10] <FelixOvum> he was 2/3 there
[00:11] <balistadead> rabbit pls
[00:11] <%Rab_Bit> >She lies below me, now, her hair spilling out onto the grass, arms protectively wrapped over her breasts. I doubt she can breathe, given that she's below me.
[00:11] <balistadead> Patch: what in the fuck
[00:11] <%glasnost> well yeah but he was a full vampire there
[00:11] <balistadead> i'm dying
[00:11] <MobileSights> I BOTH HATE AND LOVE YOU
[00:11] <%glasnost> also ssh i haven't read that yet
[00:11] <FelixOvum> okok
[00:11] <%Patch> The strongest cooking, balista
[00:11] <MobileSights> SAVE ALL THESE EDITS
[00:11] <%Patch> It's amazing
[00:11] <%Rab_Bit> >The longing in her eyes, that sheer want, gives me a fair idea of what we both want. I think she wants me to get off.
[00:11] <%glasnost> waiting for the movie ;_;
[00:11] <MobileSights> TO YOUR OWN THING
[00:11] <MobileSights> IT'S TERRIBLE
[00:11] <MobileSights> AND BEAUTIFUL
[00:11] <balistadead> >she wants me to get off
[00:11] <balistadead> dohoho
[00:11] <FelixOvum> Rab enjoys males leads with a bit of heft to them
[00:12] <%Rab_Bit> >Well, if the lady want it, far be it from me to deny her. I cautiously insert my tip into her, and my breath catches in my throat- this is the most exercise I've had since that one time I had to run to catch the ice-cream truck.
[00:12] <%Rab_Bit> also, 'wants' instead of 'want' there
[00:12] * Rennac_ (~Rennac@419462C4.5E696E3F.2267429B.IP) has joined #THP
[00:12] <MobileSights> I
[00:12] <MobileSights> I can't breathe
[00:12] <MobileSights> You're killing me rabbit
[00:12] <MobileSights> you're killing me
[00:12] * Rennac (~Rennac@419462C4.5E696E3F.2267429B.IP) Quit (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
[00:13] <Broand> pffft
[00:13] <MobileSights> AHAHAHAHAH
[00:13] * Rennac_ is now known as Rennac
[00:13] <%Rab_Bit> >I heave a sigh of relief. "Tell me if I'm going too fast, then."
[00:13] <MobileSights> YOU BEAUTIFUL SON OF A BITCH
[00:13] <Ghostdivision> rab
[00:13] <Ghostdivision> what the dicks are you reading
[00:13] <%Rab_Bit> CYS's porn, as modified by me
[00:14] <FelixOvum> Ghostdivision, exactly
[00:14] <Ghostdivision> oh, indeed
[00:14] <Ghostdivision> aight, coo
[00:14] <Ghostdivision> well, far be it for me to interrupt, do carry on sir
[00:14] <%Rab_Bit> >She trembles with my every motion, her breathing coming in short, staccato bursts, whereas mine are gusty, dying-animal wheezes.
[00:14] <FelixOvum> KChasm, how old are the kids
[00:14] <Broand> Glasnost he wins like 2 fights in bakemonogatari
[00:14] <FelixOvum> tchotchke
[00:14] <FelixOvum> the fuck is that even
[00:15] <Broand> so far at least
[00:15] <balistadead> >tchotchke
[00:15] <balistadead> >from yiddish
[00:15] * crescent (~CrescentE@Rizon-BD57551B.lightspeed.rlghnc.sbcglobal.net) Quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
[00:15] <FelixOvum> that's just cruel
[00:15] <balistadead> forget "from", that IS yiddish
[00:15] <%Rab_Bit> 166. >I pull back, then press forward once more, slowly repeating the motions as Kyouko tries her level best to hold steady, although her little yelps betray the effect I'n having upon her.
[00:15] <%glasnost> bro: yeah, by getting beat up
[00:15] <MobileSights> Rab
[00:15] <MobileSights> Rab
[00:15] <Broand> No
[00:15] <MobileSights> You're evil
[00:15] <%Rab_Bit> (No ms3tk here, just it's supposed to be i'm instead of i'n)
[00:15] <Broand> he does the beating up
[00:15] <MobileSights> I love it
[00:15] <Broand> he even celebrates
[00:15] <MobileSights> Oh, thanks
[00:15] <FelixOvum> Broand, you sure it's bakemono?
[00:15] <FelixOvum> and not nise?
[00:15] <%Rab_Bit> >While I hold her close with one hand around the small of her back, the other is free to roam as it wishes, and there's plenty for her to enjoy.
[00:16] <Broand> against a elementary school girl
[00:16] <FelixOvum> what
[00:16] * %Zer00 (~RX-78NT-1@Fly.me.to.the.Moon) Quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
[00:16] <MobileSights> Also considering your viewing AE as fatty lard fat
[00:16] <%glasnost> okay true
[00:16] <MobileSights> http://androidarts.com/cortexcommand/Faction_CMF/cmf_lineup.jpg
[00:16] <FelixOvum> snail attacks don't count
[00:16] <MobileSights> I always pictured him as kinda the top left armored guy
[00:16] <MobileSights> So
[00:16] <FelixOvum> those occur every other episode
[00:16] <MobileSights> SPOT ON
[00:16] <%glasnost> hachikuji probably let him win though
[00:16] <MobileSights> YOU TURBOFAGGOT
[00:16] <Broand> I'm moving on into the snake chapter now
[00:17] <%glasnost> how do you misspell paradigm
[00:17] <MobileSights> snrk
[00:17] <balistadead> paradigm isn't too hard, neither is commissar
[00:17] <FelixOvum> paradig'em
[00:17] <balistadead> what the fuck is weimaraner
[00:17] <%Rab_Bit> >Every pump is another blissful reminder of the situation my manhood finds itself in, every motion tearing another little gasp or cry from this beautiful young woman, every exertion a pain on my labored, cholesterol-clogged heart.
[00:17] <%glasnost> oh, this is the national spelling bee
[00:17] <%glasnost> bal: a dog breed
[00:18] <MobileSights> You know
[00:18] <MobileSights> Rab
[00:18] <balistadead> >dog breeds
[00:18] <balistadead> fuckin' dogs
[00:18] <MobileSights> You should totally do this in a story of your own
[00:18] <%Rab_Bit> >Her fingernails dig into my back as she grips me tightly, as if I'll float away on the breeze if she dares let go.
[00:18] <MobileSights> Just
[00:18] <MobileSights> Complete fat fuck
[00:18] <MobileSights> In more ways than one
[00:18] <FelixOvum> balistadead, that has been the topic for the night, yes
[00:19] <%Rab_Bit> >"F-faster," she moans, bucking her hips in tune with my own, even as I dutifully increase my pace. Her legs wrap around my waist, locking me into position.
[00:19] <%Rab_Bit> >Not that I can find much room to complain, honestly. Oh, who am I kidding? I just want this to be over. I'm sweaty, I'm gasping, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to die if I don't get 20ccs of McNuggets, stat.
[00:19] <balistadead> i'm just looking at my leadup to youmu popping out of the barrier
[00:19] <balistadead> and wanting to write lewds instead now
[00:19] <MobileSights> Rabbit, I just want you to know
[00:19] <balistadead> good job CYS
[00:19] <balistadead> scum
[00:20] <MobileSights> I hate your guts
[00:20] <%Rab_Bit> >Her every breath comes in hard and fast, now, as I pump away vigorously. My breath has long since left me. Oh, mama, I'm seeing the light! I'm coming to join you! My heart's beat its last!
[00:20] <MobileSights> You beautiful bastard
[00:20] <%Rab_Bit> >I pause, pulling back to catch my breath. Kyouko glares at me through eyes half glazed over from pleasure.
[00:20] <%Rab_Bit> FAT FUCK
[00:20] <Alkarl> rab
[00:20] <Broand> mmmm
[00:20] <Broand> Half glazed
[00:21] <Alkarl> You should record this and read it off
[00:21] <MobileSights> It hurts to read
[00:21] <MobileSights> But it is a good pain
[00:21] <MobileSights> Never before has something of mine been riffed on like this
[00:21] <MobileSights> It's a nice milestone!
[00:21] <%Rab_Bit> >A piercing wail tears out of her throat, muffled only by my girth crushing the breath from her lungs.
[00:22] <MobileSights> Rab
[00:22] <%Rab_Bit> hahaha
[00:22] <MobileSights> Save all these
[00:22] <FelixOvum> seriously
[00:22] <balistadead> >implying everyone present doesn't have logs saved
[00:22] <MobileSights> I cannot
[00:22] <FelixOvum> post up the annotations after the original
[00:22] <MobileSights> Well I can't because lol mobile
[00:22] <FelixOvum> No one give him the logs
[00:22] <Broand> bed
[00:22] <MobileSights> fug u
[00:22] <%Rab_Bit> >Her shuddering motions assault my manhood, the rapid contractions of her inner walls eroding the last of my own restraint, and I lose myself in what seems to be a serious case of cardiac arrest.
[00:23] * FelixOvum claps
[00:23] <MobileSights> son of a bitch
[00:23] <MobileSights> I
[00:23] <%Rab_Bit> >Eventually, though I know not when, I return to my senses, finding my left arm to be hurting like a bitch. Yeah. Definitely a major cardiac event.
[00:23] <MobileSights> I am done
[00:23] <MobileSights> I cannot
[00:23] <MobileSights> My sides have been vaporized
[00:24] <%Rab_Bit> >We lay there, the ragged wheeze of my breathing the only noise to be heard, two bodies pressed together without a care in all the world, crushing the poor girl beneath me.
[00:24] <MobileSights> YOU GOTTA FUCK IT ALL UP WITH
[00:24] <MobileSights> WITH
[00:24] <%Rab_Bit> hahaha
[00:24] <MobileSights> COMEDY
[00:24] <%Rab_Bit> "So," I eventually manage to force out, "was it good for you?"
[00:24] <%Rab_Bit> She cracks an eye open, and laughs weakly at me, barely able to draw breath from under my shuddering folds of fat. "You could say that, yeah."
[00:25] * Rennac (~Rennac@419462C4.5E696E3F.2267429B.IP) has joined #THP
[00:25] <Alkarl> l-lewd
[00:25] <MobileSights> All this
[00:25] <%Marchosias> ( ?° ?? ?°)
[00:25] <%Rab_Bit> "That was..." She breaks eye-contact, her voice dropping to little more than a whisper. "No one's ever made me feel like that. Like I was drowning."
[00:25] <MobileSights> Because I used 'barrel' as a descriptoPFFFFFFFFFFFFF
[00:25] <MobileSights> GODDAMN YOU
[00:25] <BENOIST> This is my fetish.jpg
[00:25] <%Rab_Bit> "Do you grease up beforehand or did you just sweat this much?"
[00:26] <Halaxis> CYS
[00:26] <Halaxis> CYS
[00:26] <MobileSights> I have run out of ways to express my hate/love for what you've done here
[00:26] <%Rab_Bit> >When she draws back, her smile, the happiness in her eyes, is enough to make my heart surge up with a joy I haven't felt in far, far too long. "You're stuck with me now. No, really. I think you got stuck to me. Can you even get up?"
[00:26] <Halaxis> You know what this needs? His power suit. Snarking at him.
[00:27] <MobileSights> The suit stays under wraps off missions
[00:27] <MobileSights> Hardly inconspicuous
[00:27] <Halaxis> awwww
[00:27] <MobileSights> But yes rabbit
[00:27] <MobileSights> Have his power armor tag along
[00:27] <%Rab_Bit> >Her answering giggle is light and airy, and I can't help but grin in response. Such polar opposites. Her a light-stepping waif of a girl, and I've been compared to elephants a time or two. Pregnant elephants.
[00:27] <Halaxis> "My sensors indicate that you wish to tap that"
[00:28] <MobileSights> "SHUT UP"
[00:28] <%Rab_Bit> "I can think of worse things," I murmur. "Such as, for instance, being under me. How have you not suffocated yet? Maybe we should try cowgirl next time."
[00:28] <MobileSights> why
[00:28] <MobileSights> how
[00:28] <MobileSights> damn you
[00:28] <%Rab_Bit> >"Well," I say, causing her to look up just in time to see me waggle my man-boobs obscenely. "I suppose you wouldn't be up for another round?"
[00:29] <MobileSights> FUCKER
[00:29] <%Rab_Bit> She flushes, before hiding her face against my chest. "I- can we just stay like this instead? Please? I think my legs are broken."
[00:29] <FelixOvum> I can't deal with all this parody
[00:29] <cereal_ata> what the hell is going on
[00:30] <%Rab_Bit> Holding her like this makes me feel like I could take on the world. Or, for that matter, furious McDonald's employees wanting to know just what the hell I think I'm doing. THE SAUCE WAS FREE AND I WILL PUT AS MUCH OF IT ON MY NUGGETS AS I WANT
[00:30] <%Rab_Bit> ahh
[00:30] <balistadead> sata: scroll up
[00:30] * Zer00 (~RX-78NT-1@Fly.me.to.the.Moon) has joined #THP
[00:30] * ChanServ sets mode: +h Zer00
[00:30] <%Rab_Bit> oh god
[00:30] <balistadead> and be slain
[00:30] <%Rab_Bit> I think
[00:30] <%Rab_Bit> I think I'm done here
[00:30] <%Rab_Bit> and then I scrolled back to the top to see this line:
[00:30] <%Rab_Bit> >As I'm pulled through the moonlit woods by a girl half my size, I wonder how in the hell it came to this.
[00:30] <%Rab_Bit> >half my size
[00:31] <MobileSights> He is huge
[00:31] <%Rab_Bit> NO SHIT
[00:31] <MobileSights> SO PARODY ASIDE
[00:31] <%Marchosias> Whatever I stumbled into here, I give it a B+
[00:31] <cereal_ata> o-oh my!
[00:32] <balistadead> rabbit hates feels
[00:32] <%Rab_Bit> I like feels
[00:32] <balistadead> they remind him of his life before death
[00:32] <%Rab_Bit> hue
[00:32] <MobileSights> I NEVER ASKED FOR THISC
[00:32] <Halaxis> > >half my size
[00:32] <MobileSights> Well okay actually I gave you the go ahead
[00:32] <Halaxis> She's what, 4 feet?
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[00:33] <%Rab_Bit> Hal: And he's a 600-pound hambeast
[00:33] <MobileSights> Figure of speech
[00:33] <Halaxis> 5 feet is the average height for eleven women
[00:33] <MobileSights> I'm allowed that much for a first person perspective
[00:33] <Halaxis> Rab_Bit: sounds like he plays Magic the Gathering
[00:33] <%Rab_Bit> I bet he does
[00:33] <balistadead> but does he do crack
[00:33] <Halaxis> Yeah. Bet the fucker munches cheetos while he plays, and gets the dust all over the sleeves
[00:33] <%Rab_Bit> okay I'ma make a pastebin of this I suppose
[00:34] <Halaxis> Bet the fucker thinks the 6th edition changes were the greatest thing ever, and whines about the removal of mana burn
[00:34] <Halaxis> I bet this fucker think Blue is the most OP color when it's clearly black because holy fuck Necropotence.
[00:35] <MobileSights> THANKS RAB
No. 35298

No. 35320
Don't mind the "too vanilla" remark too much, some readers in /at/ are too used to smuttier stuff. More Vanilla is always welcome in my book.
No. 35349
File 140227833076.jpg- (54.38KB , 624x246 , lineup_xcom.jpg ) [iqdb]
While I like the attached picture showing your idea of what AE looks like, this feels more appropriate.

Gotta love the flying suit.
No. 35350
File 140228623150.jpg- (236.27KB , 1366x768 , 39240_cowboy_bebop_you_are_gonna_carry_that_weight.jpg ) [iqdb]
You gonna carry that weight, armored cowboy
No. 35351
So what exactly does AE look like?

And what story is he from?
No. 35353
Like the top left in http://androidarts.com/cortexcommand/Faction_CMF/cmf_lineup.jpg apparently. Or something along those lines. It was near the beginning of the fatfic.

As for the story he's from, that's Don't Lose Your Head over at /sdm/.

He's basically an XCOM-style supersoldier in a powersuit. It's pretty good.
No. 35477
So what about AExMystia and AExRemi?
No. 36348
This short was pretty prophetic with the Kyouko route and the whole Patchy trying to set his head on fire.

Thread Watcher x